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#i haven't made an edit in forever so i tried to again
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whatever you want | joel miller x f!reader
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summary: date night for you and Joel but we skip to the good part xoxo word count: 3,2k warnings: 18+ only, POV changes (i tried my best pls be nice), no plot in sight, reader has no physical descriptions other than clothing, established relationship, pet names, smut, oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, butt stuff, spitting, creampie, praise kink, panty kink, size kink, Joel’s filthy mouth a/n: this is the first thing i've written that's actually made it out the doc before being trashed forever - big thanks to my irl bestie for her continuous words of encouragement <3 this is very mildly edited because i'll hate it if i keep trying to improve it ✌️ i'd appreciate any feedback! again pls be nice thank you love you okay bye divider by @saradika-graphics
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You've been looking forward to this all week — date night with Joel. You usually stick to something simple, going out for a cosy dinner or just deciding to cook together at home — but he always ensures it’s a memorable night in one way or another, and tonight is no exception.
He suggested to you earlier in the week, lying in bed, “How ‘bout this time you pick out something for me to wear? Hm?” It had your mind racing with ideas, thinking about all the possibilities now presented to you. 
You glance at him, “So what’s in it for you, then?”
“No ulterior motive here, sweetheart,” he puts his palms up near his face and smirks, “You always look pretty for me, I just thought I’d return the favour.”
“Hm, that’s a big decision,” you mutter with a playful smile.
You’re well aware of what Joel loves seeing you wear — he’s always loved anything you wear, to be frank, racy or not — and decided to pose a deal to him, something you knew you’d both benefit from.
“I may have some ideas. Why don’t we make a deal, then?” you inch closer to him and play with a stray lock of his hair. “You do something for me, and I’ll do something for you.” Your eyes meet and you can tell he’s trying to figure out the game you’re playing.
“And what would that entail?” he asks, a hint of cockiness in his voice, impressed by your unusual boldness. You remove your hand from his hair and drape your arm over him.
“Will you wear that red shirt again… with the sleeves rolled up?” you ask shyly, trailing your fingers up and down his side.
“Sure will,” he says, still smirking. You’re only getting more breathless the longer this goes on, and you haven't even made your whole point yet.
“And… those black pants of yours…?”
“Which ones, sweetheart? I got a lot of black pants,” he remarks, feigning innocence and a cheeky lilt to his voice. “You know which ones,” you mutter, your hand stilling.
He shifts closer until you’re pressed against each other and whispers, “Don’t think I do, you’re gonna have to tell me.”
You huff, annoyed at him for teasing you like this, and at yourself for getting turned on by his games. “The tight-fitting, black—”
“That’s not what you really want to say, though, is it? Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours,” he interrupts, and you shiver.
You look down at his chest, unable to make eye contact with him and pray he doesn’t notice how your cheeks redden as you whisper back, “Those black pants that everyone can see how big you are, those pants, I want you to wear them.”
He skims a hand up your back, “See? Was that so difficult?” he asks rhetorically, and you can practically hear his teasing smile and visualise the dark glint that you know will be in his eyes. “And what shoes should I wear, you know, to tie the whole look together?”
“You know very well I couldn’t care less what fucking shoes you wear,” you chirp back at him, forcing yourself to look him in the eye again.
Satisfied with your answer, he plants his hand on the small of your back, caressing you gently with his thumb, “You mentioned some kind of deal?”
If he hadn’t brought it up again you’re not sure you would’ve remembered at all. You’ll always be amazed by how calm he is after derailing a conversation and making you so flustered.
You close your eyes, mentally shake yourself, and start your bargaining, “Well, I promise to wear the laciest panties I own—” you look at him sweetly through your lashes, “—if you promise to keep your clothes on. And you can, you know, do whatever you want.” It comes out far breathier than you were planning, but it’s out. “With me, to me, you know. Whatever.” 
He raises his eyebrows slightly, voice lowered, “Whatever I want, hm? And all I have to do is stay dressed? Quite the deal there.”
-
Joel’s made himself comfortable in his chair, eyes trained on you in the doorway. Sitting here now, the night’s only just beginning and you’re already like putty in his hands. He noticed hours ago your eyes had glazed over, and he’s been growing harder and harder ever since in anticipation.
“What’re you thinking about, sweetheart?” he asks, and your gaze refocuses on him.
“You,” you reply, sweet and simple.
He does a once-over, taking in your flowery, strappy top and neat little black slip-skirt that falls just above your knees and hugs your hips beautifully — your hands fiddling with the hem of your shirt and you’re shifting your weight side to side.
He smiles softly and suggests, “Why don’t you show me those pretty panties you promised to wear?” and you nod gently, moving slowly further into the room.
Much more confident and comfortable in your own skin than when you took your clothes off for him the first time, you face Joel and lift your gaze to meet his. You reach behind your back to unzip your top and lift it over your head, dropping it to the floor. Pushing your thumbs beneath your waistband, you peel your skirt over your hips and hunch forward slightly, letting it pool around your feet. Standing at your full height again, he takes all of you in — clad in lace, black bra and lilac panties.
He widens his legs and curls a finger, beckoning you forward and you stand between his knees. Joel rests his hands on your hips, thumbing the lace over your hipbones.
“Where’ve you been hiding these?” he looks up at you and sees heat blooming across your chest and up your neck.
“I, um… I’ve been saving them, for uh—“ you stutter, and he can see you start second-guessing your choice. Breathing shallowly, you murmur, “Do you not like them?”
He smiles at you, still playing with the lace, “I love them, sweetheart. You know I always do.” He lowers his gaze down to your panties again, eyes trailing across the fabric, and he doesn’t miss how you press your legs together, seeking any sort of relief.
He pushes against your hip to turn you around, and almost can’t believe how you’ve both ended up here. You, dressed in your best lace just for him, ready and willing to do as he says? You’d clearly been wanting to do this for some time now, but Joel would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited, too. He kneads the swell of your ass, fingers toying with the lacy edges and hears you breathing deeply again.
“So, whatever I want?”
You turn to look at him over your shoulder and reply under your breath, “Yes.”
He turns you around to face him, hands still on your hips. He looks up at you again, “You okay?” and squeezes his hands.
“Yeah,” and you nod, smiling down at him.
“Well, you did such a good job picking these panties all on your own, sweetheart, I think maybe you need a reward,” he darts his tongue out and drags his hands along your thighs, resting his arms down and leaning back in his chair. “First, though, you’re gonna show me just how good you can be, okay? C’mon, on your knees.”
You lower yourself, getting comfortable between his legs, your eyes lingering on his bulge before looking up at him. He nods towards his lap and you start undoing his pants, palming him through the fabric. Reaching into his boxer briefs and wrapping your hand around his length, you stroke him a few times and pull his waistband down just enough to take him out, thick and heavy and already fully stiff in your hand. You bow your head to lick him from base to tip, hover above him and spit onto his cock, stroking him harder and smiling sweetly at him.
You start taking him into your mouth and he sighs, resting a hand on the crown of your head. “You been waiting all night for this, huh, sweetheart?”
You hum a response and he groans, watching you bob up and down, taking more and more of him each time. You pull off and continue stroking him, and he smiles at you in encouragement. You take him in your mouth again, and he feels you hollow your cheeks and take him even further, the tip of his cock just about breaching your throat and you whimper around him.
“Fuck, baby, doin’ so good,” he grunts and pulls you off. His hand moves to the nape of your neck, the other tracing over your collarbone and down over the lace of your bra, your nipples hardening through the delicate fabric. “Think you can do it?”
You nod eagerly at him, eyes glinting, hands stroking him languidly and you move to start sucking him again. He tightens his grip and stops you. “Use your words, please.”
“Yes, I can do it.” You look up at him and his hold softens.
“Good girl, go on.”
You lick the underside of his shaft and swirl your tongue around the head of his cock and take him again, working him just to the start of your throat. You’re breathing as best you can through your nose, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, lips stretched around him and brushing his wiry curls as you push even further and hold him there, fingers digging into his thighs. You start to gag and do your best not to pull off him, squirming to find any bit of friction and Joel moans at the sight, throwing his head back.
“Bein’ such a good girl, taking my cock so far down your throat, hm?” 
You moan and swallow around him, his hips jerking at the sensation and he pulls you off. “Almost too good,” he breathes, “know you’d love me coming down your throat, but not tonight.” He gives you a lopsided smile and you whine, moving back and forth on your knees.
“Stand up for me sweetheart,” and you rise, looking down at him, still catching your breath. His hands are back on you immediately, squeezing your waist, hips, ass — any part of you he can reach. He runs his fingers across your panties again, trailing them down over your covered clit and between your folds and you tilt forward into his touch.
“Soaked right through these pretty panties of yours,” he looks up to meet your gaze and there’s almost no colour to your eyes anymore, just pure blown-out pupils. He keeps rubbing his fingers along you and you whine again, clearly desperate for him to touch you properly.
He smirks up at you, “So needy just from sucking my cock.”
Joel shoves his hand under the elastic of your panties and rubs his fingers between your folds and over your entrance, coating his fingers in your arousal. He shoves two thick fingers into you without warning and you fall forward with a strangled moan, hands supporting your weight on his shoulders as he pumps his fingers in and out, your cunt tight around him.
“Always so wet for me, huh? Need me to make you feel good?” He stares at you, eyes shut and mouth hanging open as he slows his hand and you force out a yes, your voice hoarse. He speeds up again and curls his fingers into that one spot he knows you can’t reach with your own hand, brushing over it again and again, the palm of his hand grinding against your clit.
Your legs start trembling and he pulls his fingers out and slips them into his mouth, sucking them clean. “Taste so sweet.”
He moves his legs between yours and pulls you towards him and down onto his lap, guiding your hips back and forth over his length, precome leaking from his tip. He leans forward, “You gonna keep these on while you sit on my cock, yeah?” and tugs on the waistband of your panties, letting the elastic snap back against your skin. You nod frantically in response and lean into him, wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him haphazardly. He licks into your mouth and moans into you, hands firmly gripping your ass.
You rise slightly and he takes hold of his cock, stroking himself and pulls your panties to one side. He lines himself up with your entrance and you start to sink down, eyes screwing shut at the stretch. He holds you by the waist, your hands like a vice grip on his shoulders and it takes everything in him not to pull you down and make you take him to the hilt. You take your time working him in, inch by inch, and Joel can tell how close you are already, your broken moans getting louder and louder.
You’re fully seated and he takes a hand off his shoulder, plants a kiss on your knuckles and guides it between your bodies, spreading your fingers around where he’s splitting you open. “You feel how stretched you are, baby?” You gasp and he leans towards you and lifts his hand to grip across your chin, mouth ghosting yours and squeezes his hand to purse your lips. 
“Open,” he orders and your lips part, spitting into your mouth and he feels you tightening around him. Pushing his index finger into your mouth, you suck and swirl your tongue around it, moaning as you lift up and down, grinding yourself onto the trail of hair at the base of his cock. Joel feels your legs starting to give out underneath you and he watches you with hooded eyes. He pulls his finger from your mouth and wraps his arms around you, hands reaching down underneath your panties to grab your ass and spread you wider. He prods his finger at your tight hole and your eyes shoot open to look at him, desperate and needy.
“You gonna come for me?” You whine and nod, almost begging him with a please, over and over again. He pushes his finger in to just past his middle knuckle and you moan out wantonly, already completely wrecked. Joel feels your cunt clamp down on his cock and you come with a sob of his name, eyes shut and face contorted in pleasure as he whispers praises in your ear.
-
At some point in your post-orgasm haze, Joel moved the two of you onto the bed — you waiting on all fours and Joel's voice breaking through from somewhere behind you.
“Did good sweetheart, always do, but I’m not done with you.” His hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. You crane your neck to look over your shoulder in search of him and notice he’s still fully dressed — well, as fully dressed as he can be — and remember that’s what got you into this position in the first place. Dishevelled greying curls, only the last couple buttons holding his shirt together, wide chest on full display, sleeves rolled up, pants and boxer briefs sitting mid-thigh, his cock, thick and hard and leaking and you clench around nothing just at the sight.
Joel’s hands are all over you, skating across and grabbing any skin he can reach. He hooks his fingers into your waistband and pulls your panties down to the tops of your thighs, placing open-mouthed kisses on the skin as it’s revealed. He spreads you with his hands and spits onto your pussy and you let out a choked moan. He drags the tip of his cock through your folds and the messy mix of arousal and spit and your last orgasm. You feel him notch at your entrance again, and he sheaths himself fully inside your cunt in one thrust, all but punching the air from your lungs and he groans. You feel the swell of his tummy pressed against you and his fingers digging into your ass as he spreads you open. “Look so beautiful like this, wish you could see it.”
He leans over you, breathing into your neck, “Always take my cock so well, baby.” He pulls out almost completely, snapping his hips back into you and you can already feel heat pooling at the base of your spine again as he pounds into you, fingers gripping your hips so hard he’s bound to leave bruises. He snakes a hand underneath you to rub your clit and you feel your legs start to tremble.
All you can think is Joel Joel Joel, and his voice cuts through the ringing in your ears, husky and breathless. “You gonna give me one more, yeah? Come for me, sweetheart. Be a good girl and come on my cock,” and you all but see stars behind your eyes, overwhelmed with the sweet praise. He stills as you come, his hands and affirming words keeping you grounded as you clench and gush around him.
He wraps his arms around you and pulls you up flush against him, your head falling back onto his shoulder and you’re not sure you can form words anymore, your chest heaving as you try to get your breathing back to normal. You turn your head towards him and he kisses you surprisingly gently.
“Can you be good just a bit longer?” He starts grinding his hips into you and you whine, your hands coming up to hold his arms. “Always such a good girl for me, hm?” He drags his mouth along the side of your neck and you nod tiredly, feeling him smile.
He starts with slow thrusts, his grip around you the sole reason you’re still upright, his voice in your ear and hot breath on your neck and the heavy, familiar, drag of his cock in and out making you dizzy.
“So fuckin’ tight around me sweetheart. Your favourite feeling, isn’t it? Being stuffed full of my cock?” He starts rambling on and you know he’s close. “You want me to come inside you? Want me to come inside your tight little pussy?”
“Yes, please. Please come inside me.”
He mumbles incoherently and you tighten your hands on his arms; his thrusts get harder and his arms stiffen in their hold around you and you feel him twitching as he starts to spill inside you, warmth coating your walls. He lowers you both to lie down as he comes down from his high, cock still buried deep inside you and you feel his spend start to leak out around him and down your thighs.
-
Shifting around and your eyes fluttering open, you’re wrapped up in Joel’s arms, head burrowed against his chest. You reach down and feel he’s cleaned you up and pulled fresh panties on you, a faint throbbing between your thighs. He stirs next to you and presses a kiss to your forehead, long and tender.
“Sorry, fell asleep,” you mumble and wrap an arm around his torso to press yourself into him even more.
He pulls back slightly, lifting your chin with a finger to look at him. “Sweetheart, think we’ve done this enough that I know you get sleepy afterwards. Stop apologising.” He cradles your cheek, kisses you sweetly and whispers, “Now go back to sleep.”
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banquetwriter · 2 months
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୨୧ distant love ୨୧
pairing: Rick Grimes ♡︎ fem!Reader
warnings: ୭̥⋆*。 not edited, rick is taller than the reader, mentions of Lori being assaulted by Shane, and low-key some Lori slander (and praise too)
summary: ʚ Rick has fallen out of Lori and instead falls in love with you ɞ
Words: 1254
part 2
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“I cannot keep you safe,” Rick says angrily. Your group has made it to the CDC, what seemed like a safe haven. “You don't have to Rick. You have a wife and a kid. A whole family, ok?” you said your voice barely above a whisper.
He turned away from you, rubbing his jaw. “Rick, what happened between us can stay a secret forever. You don't have t-to treat me differently or care about me,” you said trying to face Rick head-on.
He started to shake his head no. “What Rick?” you said starting to get angry. Everyone knew what Lori had done to Rick… hooking up with Shane. Something that didn't stop when Rick joined the group. He was frustrated and had pent-up anger.
And there you were on watch with him, just being your kind self. He lost self-control. Try as he might be couldn't deny himself those beautiful moans as he thrusted into you.
He had started to treat you differently. You could tell, Lori could and hell the rest of the group could too. He was much more caring with you, checking your wounds, and giving you extra portions of his food.
There was no doubt he had started to fall for you. Of course, he had. His marriage was falling apart long before the end of the world came, his wife fucking his best friend only made it worse.
You started to fall for him too, you couldn't help it. His strong dominant demeanor, and loving caring father. He had it all. But you knew the moment you said yes to him that there was a high chance of nothing real happening between the two of you.
You chose to ignore that chance.
But here he was now staring at you, jaw tense with anger. He didn't know how he could keep going like this. Feeling his heart squeeze with pain when he couldn't see you. When his arms weren't around yours.
“You cannot keep doing this to me,” he growls, stepping close to you. “Doing what Rick? I have done nothing to you. You came onto me!” I shout at him. He shakes his head and hands his hips. “I never meant to become between you and Lori. I have never ever asked you to love me or care for me ever!” I shout at him.
His face falls. “I was perfectly fine being only a fuck to you,” you said crossing your arms, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “No. Don't say that about yourself,” he says, stepping up to you again.
You try to blink your tears back. God this was so embarrassing. The truth was you would love to be more to Rick than a hook-up buddy, but he has a family you weren't going to wreck that on a whim. “Please, I'm sorry but I haven't ever tried to make you love me. Ever. Ok? I knew what I was getting myself into, fucking a married man.” you said, crossing your arms.
Rick doesn't say anything, you take that as an answer enough. You let your hands drop to your sides, turning towards the door. His hand lands on your arm grabbing it. You look up at him, his eyes are full of sorrow and pain.
Your stomach turned as you knew what was going to happen next. He gingerly stepped towards you, you couldn't look him in the eyes. His hands moved towards your arms pulling you close to his chest.
He leaves a gingerly placed miss on the top of your head near your hairline. His right hand snakes up to your hair as his left-hand wraps around your waist. You tilt your head up to meet him for the kiss.
He whimpers in your mouth exploring your mouth. You shudder at his touch, pulling away from his kiss. “Rick we shouldn't… Lori and Carl… they aren't that far..” you say looking back up at him.
He knows you right? No matter how much he wants it to not be true, he shouldn't fuck you when his wife or child could find you. “Come find me tonight,” you whisper in his ear, before darting out of his room.
You walked down the hall of the CDC. You heard a commotion up ahead. You looked into the rec room and the sight horrified you.
Shane was attempting to assault Lori. You didn't like Lori, and Lori didn't like you. Nothing would ever stop you from helping her right now. You run up behind Shane grabbing his hair as best you could and dragging him off of her.
Between Lori pushing him off and your strength you're able to rip him away.
Shane lands on the ground glaring at both of you. “Leave!” you shout at him, fear and anger pulsing through your body. “Now! And if I ever ever catch you pulling this shit again I will fucking kill you.” I threaten. “Yeah alright,” he mumbles, sitting up and leaving in a huff.
You turn your direction to the terrified woman behind you. “You're ok, it's ok,” you mumble, catching her in an embrace. “Oh god.” she whimpers out falling into your arms, her sobs racking through her body. Tears spilling on your shirt.
You silently rub her back trying to calm her. She exhales pulling away from you, using the back of her hands to wipe her tears. “I'm ok, I'm ok honey,” she says looking at you with a warm smile. You felt like killing someone.
This wasn't fair for her. You felt sick for even being mad at her for what she did with Shane. It's clear to you that this wasn't what you thought it was. A sick man had used the grief of a woman and got into her pants.
There was absolutely nothing fair about that. “I'm so sorry Lori,” you said with pity in your voice and eyes. “Oh don't worry about me, I will be just fine,” she says with a fake smile. You nod not believing her. “Ok well if you need me tonight just tell me,” you say, patting her arm.
You felt so sick. You felt sick for Lori, for hating her, and for fucking Rick. She deserved her husband. You stole him from her. You felt ashamed. You needed to push these feelings down.
You turn to leave her walking to the exit of the room. “Y/n?” she called. You turn on your heel, “yes?” you ask, looking at her. “I know,” she says in a quiet voice. You felt bile fill your throat.
“My husband he-” she cuts herself off with a sad smile. He wasn't really her husband anymore huh? “Rick h-he is a good man. Take care of him for me will you? Do what I was never able to.” she says with a very sad smile.
Your face contorted with pain. “No Lori, I-I can't do that to you, to your family,” you say, putting your hand up. “No, listen to me y/n. He loves you, I see it every day. I didn't want to at first but I have no choice but to know ok?” she says, nodding her head.
All you can do is sigh. You turn away from her, You walk down the hall preparing to go back to your room. Rick stands outside his door “What's going on?” he asks, looking down at you, you stop slightly in front of him. “Ask your wife.” you quip walking down the hall.
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strongheartneteyam · 10 days
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I wet you like water but she stained you like blood.
Pairing: widowed!dilf!jake sully x younger!female!human!reader
CW: slight sexual language, can be triggering to some, heartbreak, age gap kink, hurt/no comfort, age gap relationship problems, angst, reader reminiscing (pls tell me if I missed anything) 
So, yeah... I never know when I'm gonna come back with another writing. My hiatus n working periods are all a bit unpredictable lol sorry. Anyways... I literally spent the whole night awake n I was struck by a sudden lightning of creativity early in the morning and I edited this chapter n wrote a bit more, but I still haven't slept at all, so, I apologize if some parts of this make no sense at all. I'll fix it when I can. Hope you guys like it <3 ily guys a whole lot :)) obs: this chapter is a shorter one.
Slightly proofread.
Chapter 4 𓆩♡𓆪
They say all's well that ends well
But I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind
You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine
And that made me want to die
The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you
All Too Well - 10 minutes Version (Taylor Swift)
𓆩♡𓆪
It had been 1 year since the last time you saw Jacob Sully. Or Jakey, like you used to call him. The wound never healed. It still throbbed and bled every time you remembered the words he told you that dreadful day. "I think we should stop seeing each other." It felt like you would never get over him. How can one get over such an overpowering, raw feeling? He marked you forever, like a bruise that seemed to never disappear from your skin.
The flashback came like thunder in a storm, haunting your thoughts with a loud pain that echoed through your mind. What you told Jake that night.
“The truth is I love you. The truth is I can't take this anymore. I'm giving you my everything but you don't seem to be doing the same. You're still guarded.” There was a tense period of silence “Jake… I love you. But I don't think you feel the same.”
Maybe you shouldn't have said anything. Maybe if you had kept your mouth shut, he would still be with you.
Ugh!! Stop that, now, (y/n)! Some self love, please? You're better than this. You deserve better.
You tried to convince yourself of that, at least.
The pain was unbearable at times and almost easy to conceal at other times. It depended on how distracted with work or your studies you were. These days you ran to any distraction that could ease the perpetual angst that squeezed your heart inside its hands all the fucking time. It had been like that ever since Jake left you. What were you expecting anyway? You should have known you were never truly loved by Jake. The love of his life was Neytiri and it would always be, alive and walking through Pandora or dead and with Eywa.
It felt beyond weird to have to hear people talking about Jake and have to pretend he was a stranger to you, someone you barely knew, when he had actually left a mark so strong on you, a memory ingrained in your brain, a feeling, a pain buried inside your heart that made you want to scream and hit your head against a wall. That's how much it hurt.
You would never have his body against yours again, warming you up when it was cold, after you spent the whole day in that damn lab, studying Pandoran plants but all you could really concentrate on was how much you missed his reassuring, protective presence. He made you feel safe for the first time in your life. But now he is gone. Just like every single good thing you ever had in your life. But you know what? Maybe your mother was right, maybe love wasn't really something that could ever last forever.
Did Jake ever really make a real effort to be with you? Thinking back, it was extremely easy for him to just come to you and fuck you anytime he felt sad and lonely. What if you had just been a naive, dumb girl all this time? Were you mourning a love that never actually 
existed? It was always so hard to talk to him about his feelings for you, he never actually let you in, to be honest. All the time you two spent together, you were never able to know if he ever saw you as a partner or just a fuck buddy. 
Oh, but the high… it was worth all the lows. The butterflies in your stomach every time you guys were almost caught fucking in the back of your work room by Norm. Eventually you guys had to tell him about your situationship because, oh well… he already knew what was going on, really. Norm is not a fool or a child. He could add 2 plus 2.
The adrenaline was worth all the tears. And, fuck… you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
𓆩♡𓆪
Taglist:
@aonungsoneandonly
@coldbabyheroin
@fairyyrosee
@myh3artttt
@explosiongamora
@ufiy
@yeosxxx
@happyyappysworld
@avatar4eva
@henhouse-horrors
@jakesullyfatjuicypeen
@fujimoribaby
@layla2-49
@zoetrope1997
@yeosxxx
@luvv4j4ybe11
@bakugouswaif
@slytherdor01
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alwaysjustmina · 2 months
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Whispers of Rain
Chapter 14: And I don't want to get in your way
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My thanks as always go out to the following:
@kamonart the artwork for this story (check them out on IG
@papaslittlesunshine for her amazing editing skills, any mistake are always clearly mine. Check her out on Tumblr or her stories on ao3! If you need recs, let me know!!
Lastly @midnight-moth on Tumblr and IG, for always listening to my depraved raindrop thoughts and trying to guide me back to sanity. Check all their work out on AO3, if you haven't read Kilonova, what are you even doing?
Read below or here
With his eyes squeezed tightly shut, Dew knew this couldn’t be real. He tried to slow his breathing to keep pace with the ticking of the clock he could hear, willing his heartbeat to decelerate. If he didn’t open his eyes, he could stay in this vague awareness, between the dark and light. Between knowing if Rain was alive or dead. He could feel the tears slip past his clenched eyes. When he thought of Rain, he felt the panic starting to rise in his chest. He needed to just open his eyes, deal with whatever had happened. He continued to will himself to just give him one more moment, one more second in this ignorant bliss.
He felt a body next to him, a hand reaching out to take his own that was clenched in the sheets. Warmth slowly registered that the hand next to him wasn’t the cold realization that death offered. The puff of air that breathed along his neck, had his eyes snapping open.
The sight before him made him gasp, the other eyes meeting his, disrupted out of half sleep. The smile that quirked the corners of his mouth up before noticing the tears falling from Dew’s eyes, his sobs not able to be quieted any longer.
“Dew?” Rain asked softly.
He raised his one hand not holding onto Dew’s hand to brush the tears falling down from his cheeks. Dew leaned into his touch, pushing his face into the palm of his hand. He couldn’t answer him, his voice lost to the pain of the dream.
Rain seemed to understand something had happened, he didn’t push, just gripped Dew’s hand tighter, his smaller grip encompassed in Rain’s larger. He wanted to pull him closer, to encircle him in his embrace, but he knew that Dew had to reach, Dew had to be the one to reach out for him. He would wait. He would wait forever if necessary.
Rain’s hand grounded Dew in the quiet light of the morning. They didn’t speak, they watched the other, eyes caressing where hands hadn’t in so long as the dawn broke the sky, streaming sun across the bed, landing across Rain’s face, Dew’s dull locks shining in the morning sun.
As Dew calmed down further he found himself pressing himself into the quiet solace that Rain offered, molding their bodies together once again. Dew’s head under Rain’s chin, arm around the waist, legs entwined in a resemblance of gnarled tree branches that have forged together over years, if not centuries, unable to bear being separated.
Rain’s hand found Dew’s hair, brushing it back from Dew’s face gently, running his fingers through it. He missed this quiet between them, these moments that they had fought so hard for over the last year.
“Please don’t leave me,” Dew mumbled so quietly that Rain had to question if he heard him correctly.
“Never, I will always be here for you, my Otter. I will always find a way to be near to you, I will always come for you.”
Dew pulled back from their tight embrace to look into Rain’s eyes, maybe to check the validity of his words, not believing himself worth it. Rain watched the heart wrenching thoughts pass over Dew’s eyes, making sure to offer him a smile and to pour all the love he had for him to show in his eyes, in his face, in his caress. He watched the tears continue to fall silently down his face.
“Please don’t cry over thinking I will ever leave you Dew, that is the last thing you need to worry about.”
Dew’s face softened at Rain’s admission, finally believing a small fraction of what he was saying. He knew they needed to talk about everything that happened, he needed to tell Rain his fear. He knew these things, but he just wanted to exist in this moment, they had time.
Rain whispered over and over again how much he loved him as he held Dew in his tight embrace. Dew found himself nuzzling into Rain’s neck, inhaling his scent, placing small kisses along his pulse, without realizing what he was doing. When the two of them were alone together their bodies automatically sought the other out. It was natural, destined. Rain placed kisses along Dew’s cheek and forehead.
They moved to look at each other again, and Dew found himself making the first move. He pushed forward slowly, his eyelids lowered, watching the plush lips before him. He knew when Rain realized what he was he was doing by the sharp puff of air he emitted from his mouth.
“You sure?” Rain asked before their lips met.
Dew didn’t answer, he pressed his mouth to Rain’s. A chaste kiss, pressed together in a silent moment. He felt Rain’s lips twitch into a smile as they were pressed together. He could feel Rain’s hand that was holding his grip the slightest bit harder. The other arm that were wrapped around each other, he felt both of their flesh rise in goosebumps, electricity flowing between their limbs to the other.
It wasn’t a heated kiss by far, both knowing that they wouldn’t take it further. It felt like the first time they touched, the first glance, the first admission of love. It felt like hope, that maybe everything would be ok. Dew wanted to forget everything that happened and just exist the rest of eternity in Rain’s embrace, with the knowledge that they loved each other.
When they finally pulled apart, they exchanged a sigh of contentment and smiled at the other.
“I love you too, my Selkie, always.” Dew breathed out.
They held each other the rest of the morning, until they heard the others start to move in the house. The sound of life, breaking them from this moment of contentment. Knowing they needed to face the day and start to plan for Ifrit’s demise and the eventual thought of going home and starting to heal.
They slowly let go of the other, arms unraveling, bodies moving apart, fingertips the last to touch as they made their way from the bed. Their eyes never left the other as they moved around the room trying to piece together clothes for the day. They only stopped staring when the other stepped into the bathroom to clean up. The one not in the shower waiting outside, standing by the door, the thought of being apart unbearable. When they came back together their hands found the others again. Their fingers entwined, speaking the thoughts that they both couldn’t say out loud yet.
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“Rain, that is a dumb idea,” Eidolon shouted from beside Aether.
Rain sighed deeply in exasperation, would Eidolon ever give him a break? Would he ever stop fighting him? He was absolutely grateful to him for being with Dew and getting him through Ifrit’s torture, offering his friendship (he was not going to think about that kiss that he witnessed between the two of them, he was not), but he secretly wished he could punch him sometimes.
Calm, Rain, calm, he thought to himself not for the first time this morning. Rain had Dew’s hand in his beneath the table, his thumb caressing the others mindlessly. He was trying to ignore the fact that after their quiet morning, he found Dew and Eidolon huddled in a corner in the kitchen whispering quietly to one another, Eidolon’s hand on Dew’s arm. Rain wondered if Dew had shared what had made him cry this morning with Eidolon, and he tried his hardest to cut off those thoughts, he had his time with Dew this morning. Dew would share everything with Rain when he could, he knew he would, but fuck if it didn’t kill something inside of him when he found the two of them together again. As soon as Dew saw Rain enter the kitchen he disentangled himself from Eidolon with a quiet, “I will be fine, thank you,” and a squeeze to his hand before walking over and greeting Rain.
“And what is your idea?” He asked back, as neutrally as possible. He would make an effort for Dew. Eidolon was his friend.
“I wouldn’t ask him to meet me somewhere, that’s for sure, the only way you will be able to get him is to do it by surprise. Otherwise he will be prepared and will do every dirty thing in the book to end you. How can you be that stupid?” Eidolon seethed.
“Eidolon!” Dew and Aether’s voices raised in surprise at the same time, shock evident on both of their faces.
Calm, Rain, calm.
Eidolon didn’t stop though, “Why would you put Dew in this position, of Ifrit destroying you, killing you? Why don’t you care what you do to him?”
“What the fuck is your problem?”
Well that wasn’t calm, was it?
“You are a fucking idiot, that is my problem. You are going to get not just yourself killed, but all of us when your oh so brilliant plan fails, including the one you supposedly love.”
Rain could feel himself gritting his teeth inside his mouth, grinding them together as he tried to remain calm and not fly across this table in the rage he felt inside his entire being. How fucking dare he? Who the hell did he think he was to question his love for Dew? Calm.
“What, you think you can come up with something better?”
“Absolutely, at least my plan wouldn’t get Dew killed. At least it seems like I may be the only one of us concerned with that between you and me.”
Rain quickly rose from his chair, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” He gripped the wooden frame so hard he knew he was leaving claw marks on the wood.
Eidolon rose from his chair, as well, “You know damn well what that is supposed to mean!”
Aether and Dew looked at each other across the table, not knowing how to diffuse the situation.
“Maybe we should take a breath?”
“Hey, let’s all calm down.”
Aether and Dew spoke at the same time, addressing the person by their side. Neither were listening though.
They tried.
Failed.
“You think you can take care of him better than I can? Is that what this is, Eidolon?”
Eidolon scoffed, “What surprises me, Rain, is that you don’t think the same thing.”
“Oh, cause you did so well protecting him while you were both with Ifrit?”
“Where the hell were you Rain? It was months he was there. All I heard is he stabbed you once or twice, I would have dragged myself from my deathbed to Dew’s side, but no, poor little Rain had to rehabilitate.”
It hit a little too close to home, Eidolon’s words. He knew he failed Dew, he should have been here sooner. The defeat of what Eidolon said, evident on his face clearly.
“Even you think this, Rain, just look at yourself, you know you aren’t anyone’s savior. You play the biggest victim here out of everyone.”
Rain’s mouth hung open as Eidolon continued.
“If Dew finds comfort in my embrace, why would you stop him from seeking it out? You say it is all about Dewdrop, but you continue to make it about you, begging him to not seek me out at night to calm his fears.”
Eidolon continued, “You know your the reason he is here, Ifrit had some kind of vendetta against you, your the reason it got so bad. He wouldn’t have tortured Dewdrop if it wasn’t for you. I heard the things he said to Dew when he was-”
“Eidolon, stop!” Dew shouted, but it wasn’t enough.
Eidolon continued, not missing a breath, “hurting him, hurting him in ways you can’t even fathom. He always made sure to bring you up. Tell me, was it about Dew, or did bring this on him?”
The room suddenly was too quiet, all the air drawn out of the space they were in. Rain couldn’t hear anything, the sound of the wildlife outside had ceased playing on the waters edge, the light had slipped behind the clouds, the ticking of the clock stopped.
He had told him. Dew had told Eidolon. He told him what he had asked him for the other night. He told him.
Maybe Eidolon was right, maybe it was all him? Did he cause this for Dew? How much had things changed since they were together? He never thought Dew would share a private conversation with anyone else. The devastating realization of the bond he now understood Dew had with Eidolon, shattered the hope he felt grow in his chest this morning. He couldn’t look at Dew, he couldn’t look at any of them. He found himself pulling away from the table, removing his hands from the chair, slipping his hand out from under Dew’s that had been placed on top of his.
“Maybe you are right, I will rethink my plans and share it with the group when I make my decision.” He slipped out of the silent room, passing through the house and out the front door, he needed to take a walk. He needed out of there before he broke down in front of them all and it gave Eidolon more fuel to torment him with. He didn’t hear as Dew called out to him, lost in his own thoughts and misery. The words Eidolon had shouted repeating in his head over and over.
Dew stared at Eidolon across the table, he watched his friend's body heaving in anger as he spewed the words Dew had confided in him in private. He knew why Eidolon was doing this, this was his fault. He hadn’t made his feelings clear. Fuck if he even knew exactly what he felt. Rain didn’t deserve his vitriol though, Dew did.
When he heard the door shut behind Rain, he spoke up, “Why would you say that to him?”
“Cause it is the truth.”
“Phan-I mean, Eidolon, you don’t know what it was like at the abbey the last few months either, that wasn’t fair to say to Rain.” Aether said quietly from his side.
“I don’t care, he is an idiot.”
“Eidolon, stop, he isn’t an idiot.” Dew’s voice raising in agitation.
“Yes, he is. You deserve better.”
“STOP. I will not listen to this again.”
“Dew, you know I am-”
“Eidolon, seriously, I am not listening to this anymore right now. I need you to stop.” Dew walked away from the table.
He wandered through the house, finally sitting in the glassed in sunroom, his thoughts consuming him. He waited for Rain for hours to return, but eventually the light outside dimmed and he found himself falling asleep in the chair, once again wishing he had never fallen for Ifrit all those years ago. It would have solved so many things.
Rain returned many hours after leaving the house to the quiet house, Aether sitting at the table in the kitchen by himself. He found himself asking where the others were, Aether said Eidolon was in his room and Dew was in the sunroom waiting for Rain to return.
He wiped his hand over his face in exhaustion before sitting across from Aether. Weren’t they just here a few days ago, was that a week or two ago? He couldn’t remember anymore. He saw Aether itching to say something to him about the earlier conversation, but before he could speak he told him he had a plan.
“I want to leave as soon as possible, Eidolon was right that we need to do this as quickly and quietly as possible.”
“We should get both of them and tell them the plan.” Aether knew Rain was getting ready to do something stupid even as he said this, like not to tell the other two they were going.
“No, I think it is better we go now, I just need to get some things, give me a half an hour.”
“Rain, this is a mistake, you need to talk to Dew.”
“I don’t want to hear it Aether, I just want to get this done so we can get hi-I mean them, back to the abbey and safe.”
He rose from the table to take care of the last few things before they left.
Aether found himself outside of Eidolon’s room, pushing his door open silently. He laid on his bed fast asleep. In sleep, it was easy for Aether to forget all the years between the last time he saw him. Phantom was curled on his side, clutching the other pillow on the bed between his arms, his hair sticking in all directions. He wished he could wake him, but he sat there watching him for as long as he could before they left. He wanted to tell him, he knew how hard it was. He knew that Eidolon was in love with Dew, he knew what he faced with that feeling. He wanted to tell him Rain was a good person, that he loved Dew with his entire being, not to fault their feelings for the other. Not to lose sight of his friendship with Dew. He didn’t have to give up his love of Dew because he loved Rain, Dew had enough love for him too. He didn’t need to fight with Rain over who loved Dew more.
He wanted to run his hand through Eidolon’s wild hair and remind him of their youth together, of the happiness they shared in their family home. The two of them running wild through the fields, practicing their powers, watching the starlight they created together. How sorry he was that Ifrit used Eidolon to get to Aether. He wished he could send Eidolon home to their family, but there was no one there any longer, it was just the two of them.
He knew that time was drawing near, he rose from the edge of the bed, bending down to kiss Phantom’s forehead and whisper from the door to the sleeping form, that he would be back soon and that he loved him, his baby brother.
They had time, he would make sure he knew how much love he had for him, how much love their family had had for them.
Rain and Aether slipped from the house silently, starting the car and driving into the dark night by themselves away from the two people that they loved the most in the world.
When Dew woke later that night from the sound sleep he had on the chair he stumbled from the room to see if Rain had returned. The kitchen was empty, the house locked. He went to their bedroom to find it empty of the other ghoul, but he found on the bed a packet laying on the covers. There were many envelopes wrapped with twine, all addressed to him with a note on top.
My love,
I am sorry you will find this and not me here, but I need to do this. I have needed to do this from the day I first saw what Ifrit was doing to you.
I am sorry I am leaving without waking you, walking out on you in the dark of night, but I knew you would insist on coming and this was something you didn’t need to see, to face again.
I walked for hours in the woods, thinking about us, thinking about how I could make our new lives easier on you. I want you to be happy, safe, beyond anything else. I am so sorry if I made you ever feel anything less. You are my entire world, my other half, the one I love. I won’t give up on our love, but if you can’t find happiness with me again, I will let you go. I only want your happiness, that is the only thing that matters to me.
I thought about you every day we were apart, my only thought was to get back to you. Eidolon was right, it took too long, I failed you once again. I should have been faster. I will take care of Ifrit though so you can live in peace knowing he will never hurt you again.
I have attached my letters I wrote to you while we were apart. I hope they prove to you, that you were all I thought about, that maybe I am deserving of your love somehow.
I brought them in hopes we could open them together, but I think this may be better. You can read them if you want. You can decide. I didn’t realize how much we both would have changed while apart. I guess I am the idiot Eidolon said I was.
Forever yours,
I will love you forever, Selkie, if that makes me more of an idiot, so be it.
I will return in a few days and we can go home. I promise I will get you home and take care of this monster for you.
Rain
Rain, what did you do?
Authors note: the letters Rain left with Dew look like this (thanks to @jazz-bazz )
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mrs-steve-harrington · 3 months
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Stoncy Secret Santa 2023 Masterpost
Thanks again to everyone who joined in our Stoncy discord server's Secret Santa gift exchange! I'm so excited to see what everyone's made. Hope to see everyone back again for the next one!
(Didn't want the post to be too awfully long, but the rest of the works are below the read more)
edit: the original post was missing a link, please reblog this one <3
[Stoncy] I Love This Curse On Our House by nomadicwolf for spydee
Summary:
The lives of Jonathan Byers, Nancy Wheeler, and Steve Harrington change forever when Steve runs back into the Byers' house to stand with them against the Demogorgon. After that, they keep finding their way back to that house for the good the bad and everything in between. 5+1 at the Byers House.
[Stoncy] Selfless, Faultless, Prideless by CrumbScuddler for quirkily
Summary:
A disgraced knight, a still-mourning royal, and a stablehand who's taken up painting want what they can't have. Steve Harrington fights for it, but like usual, gets absolutely pummeled. And Jonathan is there to piece him back together because it's what Nancy would have wanted.
[Stoncy] here in your big blue world by quirkily for staccatoswings
Summary:
It’s warm with three bodies in the bed. Jon and Steve are equally stiff on either side of her, which is a little absurd. Jon is quite literally her long-term boyfriend. He at least shouldn’t be acting like he’s worried about touching her. Nancy shifts a little onto her side and they both instantly copy her, keeping the same distance between them all. Honestly. It’s a little ridiculous. Nancy tries to ignore it, wondering if they’d made a mistake inviting Steve to share the bed with them. No weirder than inviting him to share their anniversary with them, she thinks wryly.
[Stoncy] Lovely Weather For a Couch Ride Together With You by gala_apples for pterawaters
Summary:
After a comedy of errors, as Robin would say, Steve finally gets the last laugh in his quest to get Nancy and Jonathan for his own.
[Stoncy] End of beggining by nattythefreak for nargatexe
Summary:
A short scene in which Steve comes to the double date arranged in the fourth season, but instead of coming with Tammy Thompson… he comes with a bouquet of flowers.
[Stancy] A New Normal by wolfish_willow for StevetheHouseWife
Summary:
The conversation between Steve and Nancy at the Byers' house goes a little differently and they don't break up. But she doesn't break things off with Jonathan, either.
[Stancy] Happy. Truly Happy. by StevetheHouseWife for wolfish_willow
Summary:
“He’s your best friend.” Robin nearly groans out loud, “I know, and he’s the worst. I mean, talk about pretentious? Such a prude. You were right. He really does still hold you cheating against you.” Nancy stares at her silently for a long moment, “Why are… you lying about that?” she asks and Robin swallows.
[Stoncy] lie down next to me and let us fall asleep by madman_with_a_warehouse for thewritingfreak19
Summary:
5 universes where Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan sleep next to each other for the first time + 1 universe where they've been doing it for years.
[Stoncy] every road past the graveyard by spydee for AcornScorn
Summary:
Monster hunting trio meet again in 90s New York, when Stancy follow a vampire into an alley. After whatever confrontation you imagine, they talk. (Art and an accompanying ficlet.)
[Stoncy] Sleepless Nights by AcornScorn for nattythefreak
Summary:
Steve looked over at Jonathan. He looked tired. "I guess you haven't had much sleep either since the drive back, huh?" Jonathan shrugged, smiling wryly. "Pretty obvious?" "Coming over at three in the morning just to check on Nancy was a bit of a giveaway." Jonathan scoffed, looking away. "...it wasn't just to check on her, you know." Steve glanced over at him, surprised to hear that. "Really? What, don't make me think Jonathan Byers would come and check on me of all people." Jonathan comes to check on his two crushes late one night.
[Stoncy] Stronger Together by brutacrispina for madman_with_a_warehouse
Summary:
Jonathan, Nancy, Steve and Robin go monster hunting. Feelings surface.
[Stoncy] To Run The Dog by pterawaters for gala_apples
Summary:
Newlyweds Nancy and Steve notice a hot guy running his dog through their neighborhood every day. At first they just like to watch him, but eventually they have to admit to themselves and each other that they're crushing. Badly. So when the dog gets loose in the neighborhood and Steve manages to catch him, it's the perfect way to meet their neighbor and get on his good side.
[Stoncy] Art of karaoke night by staccatoswings for brutacrispina
[Stoncy] Art of Stoncy under mistletoe by nargatexe for nomadicwolf
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love-triangles-au · 8 months
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Gotta know, which Triangle is needier?
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(Mod Minty let me steal her art for today's edition of the gay geometry channel. Say "thanks Minty for letting us see your gorgeous art!")
Bill, by a longshot!
Y'see, when he eventually realized that he actually does kind of give a crap about Venuz, he became aware of something: oh, no, a whole lot of people want my loved one dead. Sound familiar?
With that realization comes an immediate (and in his mind extremely embarrassing) trauma response. The last time he loved someone, they were taken from him brutally and unfairly, and the very nature of Venuz being the Gun God means that he is destined to eventually be succeeded.
Now, rationally, what happened to Liam was not at all Bill's fault -- his big brother was basically doomed from the moment he was born -- but as we all know trauma loves to make no sense. Because Liam was taken away while Bill was out, a part of him feels like if he had just been there maybe he could've done something.
And so we begin what we've dubbed the "separation anxiety arc".
He tries to bottle it up, god knows he does, because if Bill's good at anything it's pretending like everything's okay, but the moment Venuz goes to walk out the door it's like being hit with a bolt of lightning made of "what-if"s.
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Luckily for him, the first couple times Venuz can just stay home or take him with him. Frankly, more often than not he goes to work as more of a way to keep the day interesting than anything else, but eventually it becomes clear that this is a serious problem.
The more the behaviour is enabled, the worse it gets, and the worse it gets the less Bill's excuses for his behaviour add up. Eventually, he lets it slip.
Once Venuz is aware, it begins to stress him out because there's nothing he can really do to help and he hates seeing Bill so uncharacteristically afraid. All he can really do is distract him at best, because he doesn't know any other way.
And then, one day, he has a lightbulb moment: vacation time! Far away planet (I dunno why but I've leaned towards Io, one of Jupiter's moons), no mortals, no guns. Bill really, really likes this idea, and so they hop in one of Venuz's 50 cars and, when they arrive, Bill finally feels a little better again.
Now, Bill doesn't have very much. As far as he's concerned, he's got his Veeny with him and they're perfectly safe right here. So, he basically pitches that they just stay there forever and live happily ever after.
But, they can't, and here's where another piece of our Gun God lore pops up.
The Gun God's power is tied to Venus itself, and he can't be away from the planet for too long without his powers fading. This prevents the Gun God from just dipping and living out in the deep recesses of space for all eternity, keeps the machine running so to speak.
So, they have to eventually go back.
We haven't got much further than this, but the current thoughts are that anxiety does get better with time (I have an anxiety disorder and know this firsthand), so that will likely ease him a little eventually.
BUT, where things get muddy here is that what Bill's afraid of isn't entirely irrational. Venuz is gonna get into gunfights, people are gonna come try to kill him, it's unavoidable. Thankfully, each Gun God tends to rule for a longer period of time than the last, because his skills only get better with each iteration. So, Venuz is very likely to keep his position for a couple thousand years at the least. But, the chance of him meeting an early demise is never zero.
I think the only way he's gonna get through this is if Venuz helps him through it, and even then I don't think it ever entirely goes away; dude's got like a trillion years worth of suppressed trauma, that doesn't just heal overnight. I think if Venuz is able to consistently prove that he's the best gunman on the planet that will gradually make Bill feel a bit better, but it would need to be consistent, like maybe Bill watches him train every day.
And, okay, when I said we hadn't gotten much further than this, that was kind of a lie; Bill's post-marriage activities very much revolve around this anxiety he feels around losing the fabled Only Guy He Cares About™.
With inclusion into the Yung family, he also becomes immortal and gains Venuz's powers. So, what's the logical thing to do with this newfound power, then? Begin an underground criminal organization dedicated to snuffing out possible competition before it can get to Venuz, of course!
The return of some of his power gives him the confidence that he can protect Venuz himself and that's when he forms his whole mafia operation. And, of course, Bill always thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, so he's often able to fool himself into thinking his plans are air-tight and cannot possibly fail and that suppresses his anxiety as well.
However, he does still sometimes have the occasional moments of doubt that result in full little kid meltdowns. He still needs occasional blanket time to calm down.
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~ Mod Emily 🦇
P.S.: Sorry for the slowness on asks right now! It usually means we're wanting to draw something for it, so sit tight; we see you! :D
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hello!
today was 'Wear Your Favourite Piece of Old Era Bears in Trees Merch To Work' day, which is a holiday that ceremoniously only began today and may never happen again. i wanted to speak about each piece, if that's ok.
iain is wearing the very first bears in trees t-shirt we made; it's got dash the snail (their old pet snail) running across the finish line. i think we made around 50 of these (?) and it took a year for them to sell out. the streams from just five more minutes single handedly funded this t shirt, so shout out to You if you listened to good rhymes for bad times in 2017. you part own this t shirt.
i am wearing our 'death in the chest' tee we made in support of fresh concrete. i like band tees that don't say the band name on them, because then if you see someone else wearing it you feel like you've just stumbled into a secret club where everyone's having a lovely time, all the time, eternally. i also just think the tee is really neat.
george is wearing his very own bears in trees beanie (we also did these in pink bubblegum) as well as the limited edition 'i love my friends' sweatshirt. i think this is still the piece of merch that feels closest to a Moment, ykno? like. i remember the Moment we saw them for the first time. it was just special.
callum is wearing our party mollusc hat, which was a usa exclusive hat for our first shows there earlier this year. he's also wearing the embroidered bears in trees hoodie from our uk headline tour in february, which is still my favourite hoodie we've ever done. i think if a bears in trees merch item was ever going to be synonymous with the band, it'd be That.
all of these pieces still make me feel warm inside. we've always tried not to reprint old designs because we like them signifying us in that era; a very physical sign of 'i was there, and i felt it'. if the hints haven't been clear enough yet, our next era begins next month. if you want to hold onto a piece of bears in trees as you see us now, our current era stock is still on our webstore. it won't be there forever, and that's okay.
grab the last of our current era merch here.
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sylvaridreams · 8 months
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I cut out some off topic chatter and fixed a couple typos but otherwise this is copy paste from discord, followed by some more from just me. Diving into Alba, his status as a leader and symbolic figure, his relationships with friends and lovers, and his relationship with himself.
(Long post ahead.)
Dama: tbqh i'm wondering how much longer his relationship with canach can or will last.... they love each other but the conditions keep getting more and more strained it feels like. now alba's vanished again…
Sage: I was wondering that too actually like. Wondering how strong it can last, esp since things were pretty separate for eod and haven't exactly gotten better since
Dama: canach maybe tries to find him during this... like alba was notably in the grove, giving interviews, canach tries to get ahold of him (maybe they had plans for later) and alba just never responds or shows up. stands him up and canach's like ok. well i can wait, he's probably having one of his moments.
Dama: and then weeks pass and nothing.
Dama: and then months. at some point he has to assume alba's either dead or just moved on.
Dama: letters not only being ignored but coming back return to sender. 🧍‍♂️ like "unable to locate" kind of shit
Dama: it's not like anyone else in what was once dragon's watch knows where he is either
Sage: The only one you'd be able to rely on to track him down is honestly MEISI. And..well.
Dama: my god Ivan is literally the last person who talked to him isn't he (editing note: I don't think Alba even speaks when Zojja uses his comms to call Taimi later.)
Dama: and then these demons start cropping up all over the world and its like. god. things look grim enough with just that but it appears the commander has either died or just left. and he's known for just leaving, and he's also known for doing things to put himself in danger, so. after some time canach probably just... finishes the grieving he's already started years ago, and tries to move on
Dama: i think it would hit alba hard if canach just moved on. 🧍‍♂️ a real blow to the chest.
Sage: The commnach economy is in fucking shambles
Dama: because in HIS head they're a sure thing possibly forever.... yeah i was away for a few months doing wizard shit why would you just assume i was dead?
Dama: "you didn't write me" well i. i. didn't think it would reach you.
Sage: And away for a year before that because of the tiger. And -
Dama: at some point i think canach wouldn't be willing to take him back either. at least not right now. work on yourself a bit man.
Dama: take care of yourself so you don't hurt the next person to fall in love with you.
Sage: Albas fucked up and struggling but canach is allowed to be and feel hurt because good lord.
Dama: canach has been a good sport about it for a long time but he made it clear when they started dating-dating and not just fooling around that he had his own issues and that he had boundaries and limits to what he could help with or tolerate or be around. and alba has pushed those limits almost non stop
Sage: ALBA YOU IDIOT YOU LOST THE 10/10 CACTUS
Dama: (in game screenshot reading…
Alba Moonseeker: Does what make me angry?
Peitha: The fact that everyone doesn't immediately bathe in your excellence.)
Sage: Hope how casual and informally indifferent meisi is with him now on average helps.
Dama: WHY ARENT YOU BATHING IN HIS EXCELLENCE MEISI :cry2:
Sage: Hes been there for it all it wasn't excellent
Sage: Meisis been there for it all from.a little sapling in the vigil to dragons dying to morning a charred corpse on a plateau. He respects alba, he loves alba, he had a crush on him a fuckin millenia ago. But hes never, will never deify alba.
Sage: Even among dragons watch hes a rare gaze that Just Sees a Person.
Dama: a person who can be incredibly shitty as a friend sometimes, lbr
Dama: his "I'd save the village" ass. Liar.
Sage: Probably doesn't even know one of meisis partners might die /s
Sage: Again. Meisi stays. Its more of a headache and a chore than a friendship the last few years but. If his presence does anything to help stabilize alba it is likely worth it. Even for what he has/hasn't done meisi doesn't think he deserves cutoff isolation
Dama: no but fr does he ask meisi how things are, does he take an interest in these things, or is it all take and very little give from him much of the time? you have to tell alba something's up for him to inquire about it, he won't go seeking you out to check on you.... case in point, zojja post-maguuma. his little "i would have loved to have seen her" was such bullshit to me. what stopped you buddy? never once did he Try to go find her. does he know one of meisi's partners might die... probably not, or he doesn't know the full extent of it. i don't think it's a lack of interest in people or anything, i don't think it's fully intentional, but i do think he's kind of selfish and self centered and zoomed in on his own stuff. being a hero. being THE hero.
Dama: "I'd save the village." but you don't know who any of the villagers are beyond the surface level "villager" title. you don't ask how they are. and meanwhile the dragon's champion is razing the next village over because you had to pat yourself on the back again.
Sage: Hes so focused on saving the world hes lost connection with it
Dama: i think at his base alba is a lonely person because he does things to keep himself alone. and that's why he's perfect for heroics and perfect for the pedestals that he gets lifted up onto. the commander, the hero of tyria and amnoon and cantha, the wayfinder. pinning titles to his lapels like war trophies. meanwhile he doesn't know the most base things about his closest friends. doesnt know Zeeki's dying, doesn't know almost anything about Bourbon's backstory, he only knows so much about Auruim because Auru is loud and pushy about rubbing alba's face in things. Thiiyf had to walk away from the Pact, she could have stayed by his side into Lws3 and beyond but she couldn't stand to be involved with him any longer knowing how limited her time was.
Dama: he sees his friends as not caring about him when the world doesn't need saving, well? do you care about your friends? ever?
Dama: dragon's watch is basically defunct with soo won gone -- yeah and i bet these people still make an effort to keep in contact and share things from their lives while he runs around getting hurt and being miserable and bemoaning that no one needs the commander. i love him so much god
Dama: bottom line I think that the guild and others "only reach out when the world needs saving" because. alba doesn't care unless the world needs saving.
Dama: it would be such a funny (not funny) gut punch for him to see how much everyone has moved forward in their personal lives and still stayed connected while he was. doing what? whatever. like he felt like such an outsider with the wizards and all, these guys all know each other and he's just some random from Tyria... but he doesn't know his friends either.
Dama: he's a stranger to them too.
Dama: I think he went to Rama's party primarily because he was desperate and hoping that someone would drop a big adventure on the table for the guild to go conquer as a team.
Dama: i would find it so funny if the next time he sees someone from dragon's watch they showed up with a kid and he's like haha whose baby is this then and they're like ??? commander this is my daughter....? i wrote you a letter when she was born, didn't you... read it? and everyone's quietly uncomfortable because of COURSE he didn't.
Sage: Its sad to think that *meisi* is probably more knowledgeable about what deidre means to Auru god d a m n.
Dama: of course he is, Meisi takes an actual interest in Auruim.
Alba is overall a man desperate for approval and love. He's a bad friend and lover because he only cares when the stakes are world ending, and people don't seem to care about or like him much because Alba doesn't care about or like himself. He's unable to wrap his head around a trolley problem like "would you go kill the dragon's champion on the mountain, or would you save a village from bandits" as a philosophical question because to him the "correct" answer boils down to "which one is going to make people love me?" He wouldn't save the farm, not as long as there was anything bigger and more important to do.
Being elevated to the pedestal of Commander as a sapling and then left up there for over a decade has made him incapable of seeing eye to eye with other people, even friends and lovers, not with his massive ego in the way. In a way I think that 13 years of nonstop warfare has just traumatized him to where he can't see himself as a singular small person, he has to be the face of an army, the face of heroism, and it doesn't help that he’s always going to be the Commander, hero of amnoon, dragon's champion, now wayfinder. Not a person, just a symbol.
SotO has been fascinating because not only is he treated as an outsider to a group of people so close to one another that they're family–outside looking in at healthy, real interpersonal relationships– he's also treated with revile and hatred by people within the fractals that he's "failed" – thinking specifically about the Zaishen and refugees in the Elona fractal. Their version of him failed to do the good deed, kill the big bad, win the wars, and so they hate him, and it's been a LONG time since random innocents have treated Alba that way. It took me back to the start of Lws4 when people were running from the branded attacks on Amnoon, shouting at him "You said this wouldn't happen, you said we were safe, you said you'd protect us and it was over," etc. Forcibly rubbing his face in (a version of) his failures and telling him YOU fucked this one up. The first time in a long time that people who "should" revere his symbol instead spit on it and deny him the love he needs. Maybe that *is* what he needs. To be kicked down and told he's done wrong and he can't fix it. Maybe he needs more failures under his belt, failed attempts, failed relationships, so he can finally value what he has.
I don't know right now if he and Canach will try again later on; currently the plan is that in a few months, Alba will make some sort of contact with his old guild and be told, essentially "we assumed you were dead or had left us, either way we've moved on in these ways and suggest you do too," and Canach will inform him that the same is true for their relationship; i.e. you either died or disappeared again, and I can't keep doing this either way. I've mourned you enough already. Go deal with your problems and learn to treat people who care about you like people who you care about rather than props and side characters to your A-plot.
I could definitely say more on that but I'll wait until I get some lore figured out and posted for Auru and Bourbon for SotO. :)
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simssaga · 1 year
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Hi lovelies, Welcome to my new tumblr-page ❤️
A little background: Some of you might know me as @andramsimming, though I haven't posted there in like forever and I probably never will. If I'm being totally honest, I've been struggling, for the longest time, with finding enjoyment when playing The Sims 3. I stopped enjoying my Current Household and fell out of love with every single sim I tried making afterwards. For some reason I just never got to the point, where I actually enjoyed myself and wanted to play. Everything was just meh... Until now! Right before the end of 2022 I made this cute little sim, called Jenna McCann. I had no preconceived plans for her and my only intension was to let the game take take the wheel and maybe that way I could fall in love once again. And boy did I... I fell hard, for the first time in months I truly enjoyed my sim and gameplay. Jenna evoked the excitement I'd only ever felt with the founder of my previous Current Household. I actually wanted to play and even more - I wanted to share my gameplay with others. That's when I decided to start fresh here on tumblr. Create a New Beginning with a new page, dedicated to Jenna and her future family. Hence how this page came to exist.
I won't plan out my gameplay too much. I'll mostly just let the game decide where the story will go and take each thing as it comes - hopefully, that way I won't get burned out as easily.
So... I would really appreciate it, if you would follow along <3 Maybe even drop a comment, like or reblog - But don't ever feel pressured to do so.
I'm currently editing screenshots and working on creating a little queue. I'll definitely also give you guys a proper introduction to Jenna in a separate post later on. This is more of a background story to how this tumblr came about.
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toshkakoshka · 1 year
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A Search for Lost Media: Marilyn Monroe edition
The Shape of Water is one of my favorite fucking movies, I rewatch it every few times when I want to be reminded how single I am but also taking in the sight of vintage aesthetic coupled with actual non-CGI fantasy. It's a wonderful movie about a strange, but nevertheless lovingly made relationship among two "different" people.
But there's a scene, between Eliza and Giles, where, after an argument, Giles tries to seek comfort in the diner guy who turned out to be an awful person. After that moment is realized, Giles knocks on Eliza's door, and tells her that he'll help her. While they hug, the song in the background, playing since the diner scene, plays louder:
So come back to my arms, and show me how wrong I can be.
It's the only clear lyrics from a song sung by Marilyn Monroe, credited in the end credits as "provided" by someone by the name of Terry Karger, and is never acknowledged in the Shape of Water soundtracks everywhere else.
When I first heard it, I was like, oh! What a vibe! And never thought about it again.
But then when I listened to the soundtrack, I realized that the song wasn't present. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the first time they haven't included a song in a soundtrack, so I pulled back up to the movie, watched it again, but tracked the song in the scene again, and tried to look it up.
And that's how I found this article.
The song itself was written by Fred Karger, who coached Monroe’s vocals for her third feature film in the late 40’s, Ladies of the Chorus. It was lost until discovered in London by an anonymous man who said his father had been in the music business. The 12-inch disk was listed for sale man in 1995 in a Sotheby’s auction where it was expected to be purchased for up to $15,000. No further existence of the song can be found, except for this 20-second clip and forever on the silver screen, in The Shape of Water— and somehow with a feeling as Marilyn Monroe herself would have liked it.
I searched for any sources. I only found threads talking about this song, how the Marilyn Monroe enthusiasts only managed to dig up the lyrics and THAT 20 second clip, and this is how I found out about this article too.
A recently rediscovered recording by Marilyn Monroe is to be auctioned by Sotheby's in London on Sept. 13. The song, a plaintive ballad titled "How Wrong Can I Be," was apparently recorded in late 1948 or early 1949, when the actress was just 22 and struggling to gain a foothold in Hollywood.
Accompanied by a piano and muted trumpet, Monroe delivers the song in a torchy, seductive style with an occasional jazzy inflection and barely a hint of her breathy, whispery renditions of "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend," "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" or "I Just Want to Be Loved by You." The voice is sultry, a little off-key from time to time, and instantly recognizable.
"How Wrong Can I Be," recorded on a 12-inch acetate disk, was never released. The anonymous seller, whose father was in the music business, was sorting through a stack of his father's recordings three years ago and noticed one with a hand-written label that read "Fred Karger at the piano, Manny Klein on the trumpet, vocal by Marilyn Monroe."
Great. So what now?
I searched through the Sotheby's archive. I tried looking for any other traces that google could give me, but there was nothing beyond Sotheby's Marilyn Monroe artifacts that DIDN'T include the mention of a 12-inch disk, and so I sat there, on the floor next to my bed at 6pm, having had too much of my free time, thinking about what else can I do. There were two ways for this to go: investigate WHO this person whose father was in the music industry back in the 40s could be, OR I find out who provided the song for the movie and start from there.
Of course, with all that I was as a dumb 17 year old with 0 experience in investigation, I picked the latter. And picked the latter I DID when I scraped through the credits of the movie on a PDF that I could no longer find, but there it was, sitting under the name credits of "How Wrong Can I Be", sung by Marilyn Monroe, read: Provided by Terry Karger.
Terry Karger is Freddy Karger's daughter. She was a child when Marilyn Monroe was dating him, and they were practically family even after Freddy no longer dated her. I contemplated contacting fucking Guillermo del Toro himself, maybe even his manager because that would've been the most realistic, but I let it sit because I didn't know if Terry would've been alive back then.
Fast forward to two years later.
I am 19. I search for the book. I search for Terry Karger.
And voila, SHE MADE A FUCKING BOOK ABOUT MARILYN MONROE JUST A YEAR BACK.
And that's where we sit in the present.
Because I emailed the publishing house asking for her contact information.
GRANTED, I didn't get a reply the first time I sent the email.
But I sent it again, as of today, April 10, 2023.
Here's to hoping we at least get something of a reply.
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diesoonandsuffer · 8 months
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my thoughts on star trek: nemesis
SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT
:(
i knew data was going to die but i still wasn't happy about seeing it. it's funny i was thinking to myself "how can they kill him in a permanent way? he'll probably have to explode" and. well he surely did.
let's put that to the side for the moment. in terms of the movie itself, it definitely had high stakes, it didn't feel like an episode of tng the way the 1st and 3rd movies did. obviously destroying all of earth vs one colony of people are higher stakes but i also mean in terms of the pacing, the music, the mood, etc. i found tom hardy.......sort of interesting? i had to adjust to both his voice and looks since i've never seen him look like a bald twink and speak with anything other than a gruff voice so that took a lot of adjusting lol. but his character would interest me at times and bore me at others. i liked his line "you won't live to see the echo defeat the voice" and at the end when he purposefully pulled the sword or whatever further through his body so he could look picard in the eye as he died. but then he would do boring villain stuff or sexually assault troi and i would be like ok what are we doing here.
also really? fucking sexually assaulting troi AGAIN?! tng writers get a job stay away from her. literally any time a non-cast member man is near her i feel fear. and i know they tried to do the whole her taking back her power thing with the mind connection to the viceroy but girl it is not the serve you thought it was. however i can't deny i loved seeing her in the classic trek/noir "light over the eyes" i'm shocked they haven't done it for her sooner since she has the black betazoid eyes. but anyway that shit pissed me off.
other than that troi scene pretty much anyone who isn't picard or data is irrelevant to this movie. you could replace worf with a regular security agent and almost nothing would change, beverly could just be any doctor and riker is mostly relevant to the few scenes with troi, which as we've discussed i don't like. i did enjoy seeing their wedding at the beginning and i liked picard's speech, but seeing them get married reminded me of how quickly they got back together in insurrection and then i got mad again lol. society if i had the time to rewrite their plot in insurrection for a fic. but that's besides the point.
i can't really think of anything else to talk about other than data's death. like i mentioned i knew he was going to die in this but i didn't know how or why, however early on in the film it was easy to figure out that he was going to sacrifice himself. it's a little odd that the movie was like here have his stupider younger brother as a glimmer of hope or something even though data himself is like yeah that guy isn't me even if he has my memories. so what was the point of that?
i think the part of data's death that made me the saddest was when riker comes back to the bridge and troi runs over and embraces him. you see geordi look at them with this smile but it's full of sadness, and then his face falls and he looks back at the explosion debris. why did they linger on that. i could literally feel geordi thinking that the person he wanted to be with forever just got fucking exploded. it was so clearly that emotion and i don't know what they were trying to convey otherwise but they failed. literally they should have filmed geordi kissing the android just once like they deserved it!
also side note so funny how they finally completely gave up on the emotion chip. no mention of it and data makes a comment on having no emotions. they could have said oh he left it behind so b-4 can have it but they didn't even do that. goes to show how stupid of an idea it was.
[edit: oh my god who is going to take care of spot. i just thought of that and got so sad. i guess b-4 could and spot might not be able to tell the difference but that android is not equipped to take care of an animal i don't think. WHO TAKES CARE OF SPOT. if this is ever answered please let me know.]
but that's that i suppose! overall i think i like the tos movies more than the tng ones, at least the first four compared to these four. the tng movies are definitely better than the last two tos movies. they might be better movies overall just from a technical standpoint but i think the tos movies are more rewatchable. i think the only tng movie i would rewatch is first contact, and even then i have no active desire to at the moment. however not every trek movie can be the search for spock so i have to be realistic. it is crazy to think there are no trek movies left for me to watch since i've seen the aos movies already. i liked having them for me at the end of the show, so it'll be sad whenever i finish ds9 and there will be no movies for me to watch. they added a gravitas to their original shows that made everything feel fuller and dynamic, and elevated it beyond what the tv format ever could. i think the first tng movie is the best example of this, i loved seeing the tng set through a movie. but, that's that!
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d3c0mp0siti0nn · 1 year
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First Draft/Central Idea
So originally this was just a little one shot thingy I wrote back in January on the 23rd but I ended up falling in love with the idea and it went from this to a huge writing project with 4 parts, and currently 15 chapters [I haven't made the outline for part 3 yet lol] it has two endings and a reversed ending. It's embarrassing that it's a self insert but oh well. Like I said, I wrote this back in January and it was just a little thing that I wasn't gonna post and it ended up turning into something so much bigger- it's more of a central idea and I had to change it a bit to make it line up with the current story so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. Personally, I think it's bad. I think it's probably the worst and most embarrassing thing I've possibly ever written lol [Again, apologizing for the bad writing, I didn't expect to post this and thought it was just gonna sit in my Google docs forever but I edited it this morning and thought I would share it and see if ppl wanted to know more ab the story.] [[Sorry if it's out of character or anything I haven't actually *played* Ragnarök yet and am going off of videos and fanfics I've seen lmao]]
Word Count: 3,116
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Miles doesn't really remember how he ended up in this sort of predicament. Where he currently was, he was laying down in his bed and next to him was a shirtless Heimdall with his back facing Miles.
It was…certainly odd. He hated Heimdall, he was the right hand man to Odin, who ruined his entire life and yet…he couldn't seem to actually spark any hatred for Heimdall no matter how hard he tried. He was still sorta in denial, but deep down Miles loved Heimdall's beautiful fluorescent purple eyes. He wanted to braid his hair and run his hands through it, they looked soft. He wanted to connect all his freckles with his fingers and name the ones that resembled constellations. He wanted to be there for him when he was having a bad day. There was so much Miles wanted to do with Heimdall, he wanted to show him gods can be kind.
Yet- Miles still really doesn't understand why he feels this way, or really how he ended up here. All Miles remembers is being in the tavern as drunken Thor talked about nothing important but Miles stayed feeling the tiniest sliver of pity for the man. Miles was only in Asgard because of Atreus, they had recently become close and this gave Miles a chance to search Asgard for something, anything to break the curse put on his family.
As Thor continued to go on and drown himself in mead, Miles’s eyes drifted around the room. They eventually fell upon Heimdall. He was sitting on a bench with a fur thing over it. He had a book in one hand and an apple in another. Miles turned his gaze back to Thor, thankfully he had passed out on the table. Miles got up, grabbed his cane and walked behind where Thor sat and gave him two harsh pats on the back. He made his way out of the tavern to go explore Asgard, it had been almost four hundred years since his last time there so there was bound to be new things. Even if Miles didn't wanna admit it, Asgard was sorta beautiful. It was weird because it felt so warm here, yet out in Midgard it was Fimbulwinter. It was obviously Odin's magic, but still.
As Miles walked around Asgard he just took it all in, the beauty of life, the way the breeze made the trees and grass dance– just everything. Miles came upon a towering, beautiful tree. It seemed familiar, like he has seen or heard about it before. Miles limped around the tree running his finger over it, observing it. Then he felt something rough under his fingers. It was a heart carved in the tree. As cute as that was it was kinda rude to the tree. Oh well. Inside the heart was "H+M"...ha that's a funny coincidence. Miles's eyes traveled down a little bit and they had more. "-Heimdall (for if he stumbles upon this he'll know it's me)"
Miles made a "hmm", "I wonder who *he* is?" Miles whispered to himself as he made his way around the tree. There were so many carvings, one said- "Am I stupid to like someone so below me?" Yup that was Heimdall alright. "Who could this possibly be about?" Miles wracked his brain for anyone who Heimdall might’ve taken an interest in and yet he came up with nothing. The carvings were very old, they must've been when he was pretty young. At the front of the tree there was a tiny piece of rolled up paper in a tiny little hole in one of the branches. Miles pulled it out and unrolled it, it read:
*"It seems as if things never change. It's been 384 years since I last saw or heard anything from or about him and yet I still feel myself drawn to come visit the tree. I have a feeling he might stumble into my hand soon. I wonder if he's seen this tree? It's all futile to l̶o̶v̶e̶ like such a pathetic god like him and yet I do. He's so below me and yet I feel a strong urge to see him. The one thing I hope is that he doesn't find this.*
*-Heimdall"*
Miles laughed a tiny bit at it. The thought of Heimdall being head over heels for someone was certainly amusing. Maybe Miles could use this against him the next time they had an argument. Miles plopped down at the front of the tree, it was a good sitting spot. Miles grabbed his book and started reading
About an hour later he heard footsteps coming behind the tree. He didn't really feel like looking so instead he just decided to let them find him. The footsteps were slow and gentle he heard a small little laugh to the right of him, where the heart and initials were. Huh, it was Heimdall. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh normally - Miles thought. Heimdall heard it and sorta stomped over to Miles. When he saw who it was he froze and his purple eyes went wide. "What are you doing here?" He spat out. Miles briefly looked up from his book. "Reading. Am I not allowed to read here? Is this your tree or something?" Heimdall looked to the tiny hole that had the note, it was still there and seemed untouched. Heimdall sighed in relief, though it came out more of a huff. Heimdall started to walk away when Miles, still looking at his book, said- "Who's M?"
Heimdall stopped in his tracks. "What." He said with a slight annoyance to his tone. "Who's the other person you carved your initials with?" Heimdall rolled his eyes and took a peek in Miles’s mind, he thought Miles was just playing dumb but he wasn't. He genuinely didn't know it was him, he had even read the note and yet still. He's so dumb - Heimdall thought. "That's none of your business." Heimdall said as he stood proud. "In your note you said you haven't heard from him in 384 years. You must've written that 11 years ago. Is this 'M' person dead or something?"
Heimdall rolled his eyes yet again. "No." Miles made an 'Ah' sound. "It's kinda funny thinking about you falling for someone." Miles said as he laughed a tiny bit while he flipped the page. "I mean the Heimdall falling for someone. It's fucking comical." A tiny part of Heimdall was a bit annoyed that he didn't realize it was him. Miles got up and put his book away and grabbed his cane which he had propped up on the tree. "I'll leave you alone now. Don't worry I won't tell anyone or anything. The fact that you have feelings is between me and you." Miles giggled a tiny bit before he limped off.
"Wait." Heimdall said. Miles turned around. "Did you say something?" - "Come back." Heimdall said a bit harshly. "Okay…" Miles walked back up to where Heimdall was. "What is it?" Miles said as he stood there, waiting for Heimdall to respond.
"It's you." He said blankly. Miles cocked his head to the side a bit. "What's me?" Heimdall groaned. "You're 'M'. The H and M in the heart stand for 'Heimdall and Miles'. I carved it when we were young. The other carvings I did 11 years ago." Miles laughed. "Ha. Yeah right. Funny joke, Heimdall." Miles looked in Heimdall's eyes as he laughed. Eventually Miles’s laughing faded. "Oh…you're– you're serious?" Miles nervously laughed. "I'm gonna go to uhm- to bed." Miles said as he limped away despite it being mid-day.
Once Miles made it back to his bed he threw off his shoes and immediately just fell on his bed. He laid on his back as he recalled what just happened. He wasn't quite sure how to feel. The right hand man to the man who stole everything from him had feelings for him…?
When Miles and Heimdall were 15, they were practically attached to the hip. Miles had heard of Heimdall, but he had just lost his family barely a year prior and he was vulnerable. Then Heimdall came along, and he was sweet and caring and it seemed like they were made for each other. Miles ended up foolishly falling in love with him. Somewhere deep down, Miles knew exactly who Heimdall was- but he was far too blinded to realize. Eventually, word got around to him and he was informed of who Heimdall was. It was terrible. He felt like such an idiot for not realizing sooner. None of it was real- what Miles felt for Heimdall was real but Heimdall's 'love' and 'affection' was all just a facade, something to pull in him closer and give him a false sense of security. So Miles, 16 and hurting, moved to Alfheim and told no one.
Miles had written something for Heimdall he was gonna send his way as a sort of explanation but he just never did. He was far too upset and didn't think Heimdall really *deserved* an explanation.
Miles flipped through all his memories with Heimdall from when they were young. They were nice. Miles never had the chance to make memories with someone close to him, given that as some cruel punishment Odin erased his family's memories of him all together. So with Heimdall he was able to make lasting memories with someone, ones that wouldn't be erased and thrown away as if they meant nothing.
He felt his eyes fill with tears just at the thought of his family. They were the only people to ever unconditionally support him and love him. He was called weak and useless and thrown away all the time simply because he couldn't do what the other gods did. He was cursed to live in the body of a woman with the soul and mind of a man and even though his family could never fully understand it they were there for him when it got hard and they helped him through it for 14 years. One day Miles got fed up with Odin's torture and went to see him. It ended in him going on an insane rampage, tearing down building after building, statues of the "great" Aseir gods, fighting Baldur, Thor, ect just quite literally tearing Asgard to shreds.
It's actually a surprise that Heimdall still felt the way he does after all that. Even after Miles tore down the place he loved so much and had such pride in, he still loved him. It was funny, really. The two of them were in a similar situation when it came to each other. They should hate one another but they couldn't bring themselves to even dislike them.
A light knock on his door made him shoot up. "Come in!" The door slowly opened, it was Heimdall. Miles laid back down. "Hi." Miles didn't know what else to say because he still wasn't quite sure how he felt. His brain, his mind knew that he was also in love with Heimdall but he just couldn't admit it. Heimdall sat at the edge of Miles’s bed. The both of them just sat there in silence, breathing in sync.
Miles eventually got the confidence to look at Heimdall. When he did his hair was all messy and his braids were kinda undone. He was sweating slightly. He must've been practicing sparring.
*I wanna braid his hair.*
Heimdall tensed up a bit and Miles could swear the tips of his ears were red. Heimdall scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Go ahead." Miles sat up and rose an eyebrow. "What?" Heimdall waved Miles off as he undid his hair. "Go ahead. Braid my hair. It's all you've been thinking all day." Miles looked at Heimdall with a quizzical look. "I never said- ooohhh." Miles inched closer to Heimdall. "Are you sure you're okay with a pathetic god like me who's so below you braiding your perfect hair?" Miles had a joking teasing tone that just had a huff from Heimdall in response.
Miles got behind Heimdall and grabbed a comb from his nightstand and gently ran it through his locks. It definitely wasn't Miles’s first time braiding his hair, infact they had braided each other's hair about a millions times when they were young. Although it was probably a lot harder for Heimdall to braid Miles’s hair on account of it being so long, but still, it was nice. That was one of his most precious memories Miles had. It was a good day, it was warm and had a light breeze. It was spring and the trees were so bright and vibrant. Miles and Heimdall had always met on a huge fallen tree in the middle of the Midgardian forest. The tree was covered in moss and Heimdall's hair always seemed to get messed up on his way climbing the tree, so Miles would always braid it. Miles had a tiny suspicion that Heimdall would mess up his hair before climbing up and just blame it on climbing to get Miles to braid his hair. Almost half a thousand years later, Miles still doesn't know the truth.
"Sorry if it doesn't come out very nice I'm a bit rusty, it's been a while." Heimdall didn't say anything as Miles started the first braid. Miles wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or not but Heimdall was really leaning into Miles. Almost fully laying on him but sitting up just enough so it wouldn't make his hair look weird. "Hey Heimdall, can I ask you a question?" Heimdall hummed "When we were younger and we would meet on the tree, would you mess up your hair before climbing up so I could braid it."
Heimdall tensed up. "Why would I ever willingly mess up my hair just to get you to braid it? My hair always looked horrible after you braided it, I had to rebraid it everytime." Miles laughed. "You suck at lying." Heimdall just huffed as a response again.
A while passed and Miles was finally finished. "Okay, I'm done." No response. "Heimdall?" Miles looked down at him…he's asleep? When did he fall asleep? Sure he was quiet but he doesn't normally speak much when he's not gloating. He seemed to be sound asleep too. It had been so long since Miles saw his face so relaxed. Him and Miles used to lay down on the soft moss of the tree and just stare at the clouds. The few times Miles turned his head to look at Heimdall he always looked so peaceful in the blinding sun. His favorite times were when it got dark and cloud watching turned into star gazing. Even when Miles thought he couldn't get any prettier, the light from the moon made his face glow like bifrost. The moonlight highlighted all his best features, which was his whole face but still.
Miles watched with great interest at the mundane rise and fall of Heimdall's chest. His face was blank but it held so much emotion. He truly was the most alluring person he had ever seen. Maybe it's the nostalgia rush from pondering the past but Miles swore he felt 15 again. He felt as he did everytime he was just hanging around Midgard and Heimdall appeared to brighten his day. He felt as he did that one time when he opened the door to his little wooden cabin and saw a tiny box on his porch and once he opened it, it was an onyx stone bead bracelet with a silver square with the dagaz rune on it. He wasn't entirely sure what that feeling was but it was a weird one. It made him dizzy and euphoric, as if he was floating. It made him have a funny feeling in his chest and stomach. It was weird but not unwelcome.
"Your thoughts are so loud, do you know that?" Miles snapped out of his thinking and jumped a tiny bit. "Hmm- they are? Sorry." Miles played with Heimdall's braids a little. "I'm done braiding your hair, by the way." Heimdall got up and instead of leaving he took off his shoes and his shirt and plopped down in Miles’s bed. "What are you doing?" Miles said as he sat next to him. "Going to sleep." Miles laughed.
"Yeah I can see that, my question is why are you sleeping in *my* bed. You have your own bed." Heimdall didn't respond. Miles shrugged and laid down next to him and opted for staring at his back. Miles sheepishly reached his hand out to his back and started connecting his freckles. After a few minutes of lightly running his finger along Heimdall's back, he spoke. "What are you doing?" Miles continued to connect the freckles to one another. "Making constellations." Miles circled a few of his freckles. "These few look like Grus." He circled a few more. "And these here look sorta like Andromeda." He tapped a few more of them. "This one is Lacerta."
Heimdall just hummed. He had his back turned to Miles so it wasn't very clear if he was drifting to sleep or just didn't know what to say. Miles peeked over his shoulder to get a better look at his face. He was smiling, he tried to act as if he wasn't when Miles looked but he was. Miles turned back over on his back and yawned. After a few minutes he heard light snoring coming from Heimdall, it was cute. He tried to go to sleep but he couldn't, after longer than he'd like to admit of tossing and turning he just draped an arm over Heimdall's torso. He was a bit nervous because he wasn't quite sure how Heimdall would react, or if he'd even like it.
Heimdall grabbed Miles's arm and pulled him closer. That's how Heimdall always was though. He was never scared to speak his mind or anything he just believed in actions speaking louder than words. When they were younger, Heimdall always seemed to give Miles something as an apology rather than just saying sorry. Whether it was something as easy to find as some pretty flowers or something like a new knife made by Sindri, that was always his way of apologizing and showing he cared without having to say it.
It was going to take the two of them a while to get used to this, there was gonna be a lot to work out but it was worth it. Because in the end they had each other, and even since they were young that's all they ever needed.
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green-socks · 8 months
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Got my @topguncommentbingo card done✨
Much like with any project ever, I got it halfway done super quick and then dragged my feet for the last three taking it way too seriously. But I made it!!! This was my first ever fan event and I had so much fun doing this! Some of the prompts really challenged me to go looking further, and then I added myself an extra challenge of only having each creator on there once (since I often binge read an author at a time, and wanted to broaden my horizons for this. Also tried to not make every square icemav).
Big thanks to the mods for hosting this awesome event!!❤️ If something like this happens again in the future, I'm there
Gonna put the card in list form under the cut for clarity's sake!
1. fic completed between Dec 2022 - Feb 2023
✅Fata Morgana by V_Evergreen
2. fic set during TGM canon
✅let's call it even by DrHarleyQuinzel
3. fic tagged Porn Without Plot
✅The Stars Align by thunderstormsablaze
4. fic set between the movies
✅don't ask, don't tell by mavernick
5. canon compliant fic
✅old dogs by vannral
6. fic tagged first time / getting together
✅I'm not that great at dancing (still you're leading me anyway) by quantumoddity
7. fic rated gen
✅you come back to me in dreams by fangirl6202
8. fanvid
✅icemav edit by polar-equinoxx https://www.tumblr.com/polar-equinoxx/726940347788312576/we-are-sad-today-tomorrow-who-knows?source=share
9. art rated gen / teen
✅Blue Cornflowers On My Sleeve by gilliontidestrider
10. song fic
✅Stay the Night by theinsouciantknitter
11. fic with fewer than 5 comments
✅Wide Open Skies Above Me by VarjoRuusu
12. fic less than 3k words
✅absence (makes the heart grow fonder) by Tsuru048
13. FREE CHOICE
✅Being Javy Machado by Aphroditedany
14. fic with a ship you haven't read
✅After Hours (no tie on the door) by gr00vyfruitbat
15. fic you already commented on
✅Just Like That, Everything Rearranges by X_MoonDrop_X
16. multichapter fic
✅You are my life, my pride, my joy by Neoptolemos
17. fic rated teen
✅You're the Most Colorful Thing That I've Seen by GaydineRoss
18. fic from a fandom event
✅Octopus Have Three Hearts by Katastrophe
19. fic completed in June 2022 or earlier
✅Turning and Returning by boasamishipper
20. oneshot
✅smoke signals by qin_ling
21. a 5+1 fic
✅Hidin' the truth, a perfect excuse by glitterfayy
22. fic completed between Sept - Nov 2022
✅Beyond Denial by aelibia
23. fic completed in June 2023 or later
✅The Best Man for the Job by twowritehands
24. fic you forgot to comment on
✅Pick me up when I'm down by Fuddlewuddle
25. fic set post TGM canon
✅I will love you, dear, forever by FlowersOnMyMind
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Text
Moments
Editing by @03patrickstar ^^
⚠️ This story takes after the final episode of Duskwood. So if you haven't finished the game first, this story contains heavy spoilers.
⚠️Warnings: Suicide attempts, Mentions of suicide & Death, Child abuse, Violence
All chapters from the beginning
Previous chapter
***
Chapter 8 - A desperate outcry
His arms were scratched. Running through the forest ‘till he ran out of breath, Kyle bent down. Still gasping for air, he looked around again. 
Faye was somewhere around this area. The tracking bug they placed in her bag indicated so. Though he failed to grab her phone, he made someone place that on her. 
No matter how hard he looked, Faye was nowhere to be seen.
Why in the world? 
A sudden thought stopped Kyle from taking another step. He stiffened, frowning.
Could this…be a trap, perhaps?
Sh*t! When did I become this careless?
Rubbing his temples, Kyle tried to be more alert. He was not trained for these situations, to be honest. Kyle felt as if being trapped between two walls. The walls would move and crush him to death, eventually.
He was nearing the Grimrock. The loud noise made his situation more vulnerable. Why didn’t he think of the possibility that Jake would attack him? Irritated at the sound of the falling water, Kyle clicked his tongue. His lips letting out a cuss under his breath, Kyle looked up.
His knees seemed to have turned jelly.
What the hell?!
Kyle climbed the hill at once, not caring about breathing difficulties. He was scared. His body trembling, Kyle was unable to call out to Faye.
If he called her name, she would jump.
***
“M-mom?”
The woman turned her head. The long, black hair ruffled and randomly cut, the messed up make-up with cheeks stained in black along with the tears. The bright red dress was crumpled and now was oversized as the woman kept starving herself for days.
This was no alien scenery for him. What panicked him was where she was standing.
Kyle who just arrived home from middle school, looked around to find his mother. He preferred not to greet her but it would be even more bothersome if she finds him later.
“You ungrateful brat! You are just like your father!”
Or she would have another episode.
“You monster! Give me my family back! My husband! My son! Give them back!”
“I’m going to kill you!”
“Monster! I have to dig those eyes out!”
Such words didn’t manage to bring out an ounce of emotions from him by now. He had heard them forever.
A mother who’d call the child she gave birth to, “a monster” while asking for that very son. A father who left him with a mentally ill woman. Kyle knew that his father didn’t want to cope with his mother. She would look for him while in his embrace. Additionally, Kyle’s father had several women; it was easy for him to walk out with one of them.
A few years ago, that woman tried to dig out his eyes again. She cuffed his hands, grabbing the kitchen knife. The five-year-old Kyle could do nothing, but the thirteen-year-old Kyle could. He pushed her hard, forcefully as he could. The woman hit her head on the floor and fainted. 
Confirming she was still breathing; Kyle left that hell. He wandered in the streets and sometimes would pickpocket. Sometimes got hit by gangs, and sometimes were ordered to work for them. Either way, his priority was filling his empty stomach.
That did not last long though. He was caught by the police and was sent to his mother again. The same thing happened several times. The woman who wanted to kill him, would belatedly come back to her senses and report to the police. Then he would be dragged home again. 
Honestly, he wanted to tell the authorities about the abuse he went through. But his mother’s pleading face won’t let him. He was putting himself in hell, again and again.
He genuinely believed that he deserved all that hurt and pain.
Kyle was born to burn in that hell.
That same woman was now…
Standing on the railing at the balcony. The balcony of the 31st floor.
His body froze. A faint voice left his mouth, “Mom? Why?”
The woman only stared at him. She stared into his eyes, the eyes she hated so much. Then she burst into laughter. Laughing hysterically, her thin body waved giving him a heart attack.
Suddenly, she stopped. Then smiled sweetly. 
Whenever she did so, the blood left his face.
“Monster…Are you happy now?”
Kyle could only stare. To call out to the emergency service and ask for help was nowhere near his now blank head.
“I curse you, the monster that ruined my family. You will never be happy, Kyle. Until the day you die.”
With the last of her words, the woman let her body fall. Her body was crushed in the middle of a pool of blood.
***
A gentle movement from Faye jerked him back to reality.
Faye slowly turned around. His mind went blank, body stiffening.
What if she jumps when she sees me?
Kyle wanted to hide. But his feet were fixed. Faye looked right through him. She didn’t seem to have noticed him at all. Clutching her phone, Faye slowly stepped out of the hill. 
As she was about ten feet away from him, Faye fell to the floor. Kyle ran towards her at once.
Out of impulse, he grabbed her shaking body to his chest, hugging her tightly.
***
Ah…
He came to save me after all…
Jake.
I missed you so much…
Faye decided, at that moment. 
She would never run away from that feeling again.
I...still love you, Jake.
I love you.
-To be Continued.
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kellshaw · 9 months
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Author Ask Tag Game!
I'm knee-deep in edits at the moment on Book Two of the Revenant Records, so haven't been able to write all the Deep and Meaningful posts I wanted to. So I'm playing a tag game!
So this open tag came via an open tag @nonsenseramble via @mthollowell-writes reblog.
(Am I doing this right? Should I reblog, reply or just post separately with tags?)
This is about the current book I'm editing at the moment.
What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? It's about accepting things, moving on, gaining wisdom. Lukie was murdered twenty years ago, made a deal with a ghost lord, and returned to the living lands as an undead revenant. Having dealt with her killer, all she wants to do is go home again. But her father's got a new family now, and the magical and mundane worlds are severed from each other because of ancient rituals. When she tries to reconnect with her father, he doesn't believe it's her. Worse, she accidentally causes his soul to become trapped in the Underworld. Her attempts to get it back stir up ancient curses and malevolent forces.
What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? It's a secondary world modern day setting. A lot of it is figuring out, "What would elves look like in the modern day" and "how does a hidden occult world work and what does magic look like in an age where most of it has passed?" And "what does magic look like when it's all based on pacts?" I pose a question and try to answer it in the setting. Then take out lots of extraneous world-building, leaving enough for the story to work. Also, it's also heavily inspired by all the urban fantasy tabletop rpgs we played in the 1990s/2000s. I'm working on a game for the setting, once I find the System of my Dreams (I've got through so many....) I've run a few games in the setting, and some worldbuilding comes from how the players did!
What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? Lukie leaps into things without thinking and makes decisions she thinks are the best at the time but have messy consequences. One idea was to figure out how to grow up when you're stuck at being seventeen forever? How do you escape from a mire of supernatural debt that you took on to gain the power you have? And also, how do maintain your friendship going with your former best friend from high school, after he's forced to become your guardian and control how and when you feed on souls? Especially when he's keeping secrets...
How many chapters is your story going to have? 33. There were twenty eight, but I added a POV character to flesh out a plot line that beta readers thought needed more development. It's working out.
Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? Original work. I'll stick it up on the book store fronts Amazon, Kobo, etc when it's ready.
When and why did you start writing? I've been writing since primary school, but i decided to publish shorter, urban fantasy crime/thrillers after spending years bogged down trying to write epic fantasy. I have a vast graveyard of trunk novels. Sometimes I think about revising them, but I'm working on building up fiction in my current setting first.
Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? Keep on writing. Write what you like. Find what works for you—writing every day consistently works for me.
What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? People with cool writing blogs!
Uh, do I tag people now? @anomalousfrequency @jgmartin and everyone else, you're all awesome.
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sun-undone · 10 months
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Season 3 recap was *chef's kiss* I was so giddy throughout the entire episode! You put so much love into the podcast and it really makes it feel like talking with a friend 💜
I thought about a few stuff that I think will be fun and interesting
- Sarah and jj's friendship. I am a huge cambank fan and obsess over any crumb we get. They have really good dynamics and I totally agree, we need more of them and more friendships in general
- I wonder if we will get to see Rose and Wheezie again
- they were very focused on fathers in the first 3 seasons do you think we'll get to hear more or even see a mother?
- now that Topper really has gone to the dark side he teams up with Rafe (and maybe Barry gets a bit jealous 😏 i dont think he really will but it's fun to think about)
-and Cleo, I wish we got to know Cleo more this season. So far she's been the tough one and like you said about seeing a scene mirroring the hottub scene with jj being there for kie, seeing another side of cleo would have been nice. We got a glimpse in the last episode but we need moreee
Thank you so much for doing this! I love listening to you talk about the boat show 🧡
ahhh thank you so much!!!! i'm so glad you enjoyed listening! ☺️
i'm so glad i'm nowhere near the only person who sees the potential in cambank, like literally everyone in the fandom is either obsessed with that dynamic or is at least interested in it. give the people what they want pates!!!!! i know they have someone lurking in the tags on social media so there's no way they haven't come across the edits about JJ and Sarah being so similar in so many ways. my only fear is that they've been scared off by the theories that they're actually siblings, which i personally never want to happen in the show, and it seems like the pates feel the same way since Maddie Cline keeps bringing it up in interviews. but they can so easily avoid the sibling thing and just write more scenes with them together!!! i really thought that season 3 would've been the perfect time since they were both struggling with being back in the obx and they literally both have a tendency to run from vulnerability and hurt people they love in the process like hello????? god i will forever believe that if JJ had been at his house in episode 6 when Sarah goes there, then she wouldn't have cheated with Topper and that's exactly why the pates refused to give it to us. they literally chose stopper over cambank and i'm disappointed but not surprised! sorry this was such a long rant out of nowhere aljdhjkahd but yes, more cambank in s4, i'm starting the petition now
speaking of Topper, i'm gonna move down to that bullet point real quick and just say that i actually think there might be some more potential for comedic moments if Topper seriously starts hanging out with Rafe and Barry like COULD YOU IMAGINE???? the dude couldn't handle the pogues, i think he'd shit his pants if he was in the same room as the local drug dealer. idk i think i said in the episode that i didn't want Topper joining forces with Rafe, but if he's very much on the sidelines and is made fun of by the writing the entire time, then i will absolutely take that. although i've said this before and i'll say it again, Topper continuing to even speak to Rafe, much less still being friends with him, after knowing everything that he's done is so transparent to me. his attitude toward him in season 2 was absolutely bizarre to me, and season 3 was even weirder, like does he really hate Sarah that much that he's gonna take advice from and be swayed by the person who tried to drown her?????? i know he was in a very emotionally vulnerable spot, but the fact that he doesn't put up much of a fight against Rafe when he's starting his spiel about Sarah just shows me that Topper has some underlying respect for him which is just so gross. but whatever, if the pates are actually gonna start committing to Topper not being the good guy that they tried to convince us that he was, then it finally makes sense for him to be able to excuse Rafe's bullshit and be buddy buddy with him again. maybe Topper will actually be a consistent character for once now that he's on the dark side! let's have him sulk in the corner while Rarry does their thing 🥰🥰
as for the other points, i'm gonna save those for the next podcast episode!! thanks so much for sending them in and for listening!!! 💕
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