Hey I really like the soulmate AU thing you have written so far. Could you perhaps elaborate on Joel and Etho, as they are my favorite pair so far. Thank you

tbh I don't have too much solidly planned out about them other than their characterizations.

Joel is a petty prankster, he gets back at everyone for every tiny wrong they do to him and enjoys teasing and annoying his friends.

Etho is pretty introverted and quiet, he generally tries to be helpful but he also has a big mischievous streak and will happily tease and prank his friends.

They meet at the beginning of the college year, quickly figure out that they're soulmates and instantly accuse eachother of messing with them through their soulbond, which is probably true. As the year goes on they pull pranks and cause chaos together. Etho reigns Joel in when its necessary and Joel encourages Etho to get out of his comfort zone and try new things and have fun, Generally they're great for each other and have a great time, they fight sometimes but its more for fun than actually being mad at eachother.

They start up their matchmaking things after seeing how Grian and Scar are soulmates and refusing to believe it for a while and how Ren and BigB manage to be completely oblivious despite being friends for months. Their 'matchmaking' is basically just pranks with the added benefit of showing people who their soulmates are. Like dumping paint on Scar and having him ask Grian to help clean up (Scar assumes that they just dumped paint on Grian too and manages to remain oblivious as Grian has a crisis)

Some more ideas that I haven't decided whether or not to make canon yet:

Joel and Etho's soulbond is being able to hear whatever music the other is listening to. They rickroll each other many times and bug each other with listening to their favorite music on repeat (All Star by smashmouth from Joel and anime soundtracks from Etho

They're the first ones to realize the Exes Quartet are soulmates and bring them together, but because of how absolutely disastrous it goes (not helped by smalletho trying to prank everyone during the whole thing) They kind of make enemies with all four of them. They're still on decent terms with Pearl, but she's still not very happy with them.

so this fic that i’m writing as a totally self-indulgent thing is now 16000 words long, the most i have ever written for one thing, and i’m kinda still having a blast. pity i may never post it huh 😂

Feeling off today. But that is too be expected.

Birthday week is finally over, and though I'm still going to party a bit in the coming days, the big events have passed. I've leveled up, I got presents, I ate at great restaurants and I hung out with friends and family. I'm now officially suffering from social hangover that is pretty intense but to be expected considering how much I don't really get out but I went out 3 times in the last week. I saw friends I don't see very often and left my comfort zone a lot. I had a great time. But it was exhausting, and I was able to keep writing through it all anyway.

I decided to quit smoking hookah yesterday. Just for my health. I dislike how much I'm smoking now, how I lean on it in tough times, and my lungs can only take so much. So this is my first day going without it. Feeling a little weird. I always maintained I was not fully addicted to the nicotine because if I went out of town or didn't smoke for a few days or even a week or more it wasn't hard and didn't bother me. I used to stop for months at a time just because and it was never hard, like I never got a craving or got the urge to smoke. We will see if that is still true. It's been a long time since I've stopped. I did stop for a few months at the beginning of the pandemic so I know that it's at least possible in the recent past. So yeah. Not sure how easy or hard it will be this time. It's never been hard before but I imagine this will be the hardest time due to the amount and length of time I've been smoking. If it's hard then I'm going to stop forever, if it's not that hard then I might let myself do it every few weeks as a luxury, I just can't pretend like it's anything less than a habit at this point. So far I haven't craved it and last night I went to a hookah bar with a friend after I had already decided to stop and tbh it was not good I barely touched it, so at least psychologically I have already been turned off somewhat by my intention to quit. Idk. I know my hardest times will be while I'm writing and playing games. I love to have it as a decadence while I'm at the computer and breaking that habit will be difficult. I have found myself looking for the hookah hose every time I'm sitting at my desk not because of a conscious nicotine itch but because I'm just so used to smoking while I'm there. It's all just a bit weird, I've been using it as a crutch for so long I know this is going to be difficult but it hasn't gotten difficult yet and I'm just pretty anxious waiting around for the hard part. Maybe it won't be hard? It will be like every other time? But that seems naive to think that. I guess we will find out.

Also weird because I was always stopping for an undefined period of time in the past, usually dictated by vacations and money and availability, so I knew I would go back one day. This is much more permanent so maybe the will make it harder? Idk. I haven't been enjoying it that much lately and I'm just expecting a struggle and I will probably get one and I'm worried I'm way more addicted than I think (probably true) and it's gonna be fucking awful. But meh smoking is bad for you even if it's not cigarettes and the struggle is worth it for my lungs. I love those things and need to get my shit together before it's too late.

Okay smoking existential crisis over. I mean not over it's still living in my head rent free but I'm done talking about it. In other news I'm just really anxious about all the social interactions I've had the last week. I'm trying really really hard to not revisit the time we spent because I've learned its really unhealthy to pick over your social interactions and try to see every awkward and weird thing you did, and every time you relive it you get less accurate, so really just a bad spiral to go down. But I'm having to basically fight off that urge constantly, and now my brain knows I'll shut down any long form revisits and is now just doing like an intrusive thought highlight reel of every time I wasn't sure what to say or times I thought I nodded too much or spoke my mind too much or whatever. At this point my brain is attempting to convince me I pissed off everyone in my friends and family this week and they will never talk to me again. Which is not true but still very tiring to get through.

Still need to go car shopping and change my internet provider and cut back on weed and stop eating all the time and so healthy mental habits and spiritual practice. The more anxious I am the more I hammer myself with this list of things I need and I just feel overwhelmed and awful. I just wish I could give myself some slack. On the bright side money is looking good and spending is somewhat under control so that's nice. I distinctly have SOME things going for me. Attempting to focus on the positives and add tiny habits to get to where I want to be a little at a time. As we all know it is difficult difficult lemon difficult. But I'm making it.