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crash3warped · 1 month

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today's niche drama: alpaca farmer beef

i have to talk about this because omg. this post will get long because there is so much and it requires so much background info.

so if you watch a lot of animal videos on youtube you have probably at least been recommended a video from morgan gold of Gold Shaw Farms. basically he is this guy who abandoned his 9-5 city life to move to Vermont and become a duck farmer/egg breeder. (these details are relevant, trust me).

he's been involved in some controversies before (outside general discourse of whether or not farming is even ethical to begin with), most notably for purchasing purebred dogs from apparently disreputable breeders and for allegedly buying livestock guardian dogs without doing the proper research into it first. to summarize key points from his storied farm dog controversies, he bought two purebred maremma sheepdogs to raise as LGDs, one has recurrent genetic health problems and has a history of chasing down and killing the chickens she is guarding. his other dog toby was diagnosed with lyme disease from a tick bite in July 2022, there is some circumstantial evidence to suggest that morgan was not taking his due diligence in protecting the dogs, who have long hair and regular access to grazing fields, from insect bites. also, i don't know where else to mention this, but morgan actually initially bought abby to breed with toby, but decided against it because of abby's temperament issues and health problems. he would later discover that despite abby being purchased from a breeder all the way in california and toby being from vermont, these dogs are so inbred that they are actually each other's genetic cousins. again, please remember that he purchased this dog specifically to breed her.

there was also some drama with abby's breeder, where she accuses him of mistreatment and poor training, and he accuses her of running a puppy mill. both of them make both correct and incorrect points here but abby's breeder kim is more outwardly rude and has her own backstory full of controversy so morgan gains the internet's favour on this one. i refer to this as drama and not controversy because both parties milked the audience engagement it resulted in for all it was worth. this truly was a very serious issue but morgan and kim treated it like a clickbait competition.

fast forward to last year and morgan is now raising highland cattle. you might recall that highland cattle started getting really really popular online last summer, specifically on youtube shorts. to remind you, morgan runs an egg hatchery. he mainly raises and breeds chickens, ducks, and geese. it's not an incredible stretch for him to shift focus to cows, but it's a bit outside his normal sphere. people pretty quickly accused him of exploitation, saying he only purchased the cows for more popularity and questioning whether he had put enough research or training into raising cows. again, morgan went from being a full-time corporate employee to a farmer, so while he has 8 years of experience with birds he does not have much professional experience with other animals and it is not unreasonable to question his level of preparedness. what's interesting to note that i haven't seen pointed out yet is that duck farming was actually on a steady increase in popularity and profitability in the US during the late 2010s. i had a suspicion this might be true, because i unfortunately remember too turnt tony, and the hallmark of an animal's popularity is an influencer making one their schtick. i looked into the numbers and according to the Iowa Farm Bureau, the demand for pet ducks, duck meat and duck byproducts hit a real spike in north america in 2015, one year before morgan gold chose to open a duck farm. not necessarily causation, but definitely a correlation there. (isn't this post about alpacas?? i know. we're getting there.)

it is now 2024, and market researchers have determined that we are currently in a highland cattle farming bubble. in economic terms, that basically means that a shitload of people have recently decided to start farming and breeding them for profit. economic bubbles are sometimes (oftentimes, if we're being honest) artificially produced and inflated, meaning that some government body or lobbyist group went out of their way to advertise something to the general public until it was popular. economics are fake, so i don't have too much detail on the specifics of the current highland cattle bubble other than that it exists and that it is clear to see from what gets pushed to me on social media. what's relevant for this discussion is the fact that this information has lead many people to reignite the accusations against morgan gold. i dont watch his content these days but i found he always had an overly clinical, overly corporate, "city-slicker" approach to farming that painted his animals more as commodities than beings; i think of him as a family vlogger, but his kids are birds. he knows people are just here to see the cute animals from the thumbnails, but he styles his channel as a sort of how-to guide on starting and running your own farm. he discusses his animals as products, yes, but he also places a heavy emphasis on lifestyle and admits he was drawn to a quiet country life and the self-fulfilment of running his own business.

with that out of the way, the alpaca stuff. before the highland cattle bubble, the 2000s and very early 2010s saw the rise and fall of the alpaca bubble. like with any bubble, among the trend-flitters you're bound to have people who are genuinely dedicated to their field of work and do it without real financial motivation. morgan recently reached out to a few members of the alpaca farming community under the pretense of collaborating on a video, comparing the highland cattle bubble to the alpaca bubble and discussing the history as well as the reality of each. to be very clear, the people morgan reached out to for this video are currently alpaca farmers. these are not people who bought into the bubble in the early 2000s, but people who are currently involved in farming and breeding alpacas. again, i have my own opinions about the ethics of farming and breeding, but they're not relevant for right now. what is relevant is that morgan conducted interviews with these people for a video, told them exactly what the video was intended to be about, then went and used them in a completely different video without anyone's knowledge or consent.

morgan released a lengthy, heavily edited video on his second channel decrying the entire alpaca farming industry as a multi-level marketing scheme. i would say his logic is hard to follow but the thing that is difficult to describe is the way he doesn't actually attempt to explain this stance. he covers a lot of ground in the video. some of it is plain misinfo, some of it is just misrepresented, but the interesting thing is that his actual point of focus throughout the video seems to be explaining why alpaca farming might not be very profitable. this is the main point he seems to argue, when he isn't just explaining what an MLM is. also, i mention the heavy editing because a lot of the video's runtime is padded with clips from shows, movies, and interviews, as well as what i can only call anti-alpaca propaganda. videos of alpacas mating, making strange noises, and spitting, with weird mocking voiceover and captions. also, AI generated art of especially ugly-looking alpacas. this is not conjecture. he really generated AI pictures of alpacas that looked grosser than real ones. of the claims he makes about alpaca farming, well, you might notice fairly quickly that a few of them are exactly the same accusations that are being leveled against him. i will get back to this in a second but there is something even weirder.

during this video, and i am not joking, he takes a stance against breeding, against for-profit farming, against commodifying animals and against making seriously huge business decisions based on your own romanticized ideals of certain lifestyles.

i personally disagree with all of these practices, don't get me wrong! commerce is evil and killing our planet. it is not cute that rural areas are desperately underfunded. but this is coming from a for-profit duck breeder, who runs a youtube channel where he commodifies his animals and encourages people to quit their day jobs so they can move to the country to become farmers, which is something that HE did!!! this is like dumbo releasing a statement against being an elephant while he tromps through the circus eating peanuts.

to add to this vibe, he claims that all alpaca farmers buy animals without doing research first and end up mistreating them or in some way harming their development. he claims that most people think alpacas are incredibly lucrative and are only interested in owning them for profit. he claims that alpaca farming is nothing but a breeding chain, that the wool is not actually worth very much and the real money is in simply passing alpacas from one farm to the next to he re-bred and re-sold. these are all things he has personally been accused of. he specifically sells hatching eggs, and does so because selling duck eggs for breeding rather than for food is more profitable. he breeds all his animals and again even had plans to breed his dogs. he has been accused of failing to research consistently since the early days of his channel and has even admitted in the past when he gets in over his head with a new animal (his geese come to mind specifically). he has a habit of buying animals for one purpose or another and then just breeding them. the things he said about alpaca wool being worth basically nothing are not even true and most alpaca farms make WAY more money selling knitwear than baby alpacas. this is true of chicken farms outside of the meat industry whose profits mainly come from breeding.

anyway that was my rant i dont even know how to end this off besides saying isnt this RIDICULOUS

#tangent.txt

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hispipsqueak · 3 years

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Sweet Dreams

(Obey Me) Belphegor x F!Reader NSFW

Summary: Late night texts lead to a spicy adventure in the attic. Who said night time was for sleeping?

WC: 1.8K

TW: Hard Dom Belphie, humiliation, degradation, name-calling, pillow humping, facial, dacryphilia, spit, demon dick anatomy

A/N: Hello! Here’s some mean Belphie to flutter your hearts. I love dom Belphie and while I do think he can be a soft sweetie, I CLEARLY love me some mean boys. Hope you like it! As always, likes and reblogs are heckin’ appreciated!

3:42 A.M.

Your D.D.D buzzed, waking you up. Cracking an eye open, you opened the message, ready to curse Mammon out if he and Asmo were drunk texting you again.

“Hey.”

Typical Belphie. How do you even respond to that? You closed your eyes again. Maybe if he texted more than one word you would –

*BZZ*

“I know you’re awake, MC”

You rolled your eyes.

“What’s up Belphie? It’s 3 AM by the way. You of all people should be asleep right now.”

His response was immediate.

“Can’t sleep. Come to the attic.”

Your bed was so warm and comfortable. And he wanted you to walk all the way to the attic? He really was insane.

Another text came in.

“Please?”

You groaned, pulling yourself away from the soft comforter and pillows. Normally, you would have just ignored him until he fell asleep but you were a sucker for soft Belphie, the side he rarely showed anyone but Beel and you. With Beel being out for a tournament, you knew he was probably struggling with being alone.

You silently crept to the attic, knowing the brothers would throw a fit if they knew you were sneaking into Belphie’s room at night.

You knocked quietly on the heavy attic door and Belphie opened it with a sleepy smirk. His navy hair was tousled and he looked so smug for getting you to come to his room in the middle of the night. Stupid handsome bastard.

“I’m here Belph. What do you want?”, you yawned. He tugged you in the room, locking the door behind you.

You laid in his bed, pulling his cow print pillow to your chest as you tried to get comfortable, expecting him to curl up next to you to sleep. A few moments passed and you peeked over at him, still standing by the door staring at you.

You weren’t planning on seeing anyone in the middle of the night so you were just wearing a pair of tiny pink shorts and a tank top. You felt his eyes roaming over your skin, and you pulled the sheets around you.

“Don’t tell me you just brought me here because you’re horny.” You muttered, glaring at him. You weren’t opposed to hooking up but playing the soft, lonely demon card?

He grinned, and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

“What if I did? You gonna complain about it, little human?” He murmured, moving so he was standing in front of you. You had to crane your neck to look in his eyes and you had a feeling he relished looking down on you like this.

You couldn’t deny you were turned on. Belphie had a way of commanding the situation when you were alone and though he appeared to be the sarcastic sleepy brother, you knew behind closed doors he would have you on your knees, begging for him.

But, you were still kind of pissed at being woken up. So, you decided to tease him.

“Belphie, I’m sleeeeeepy. I came here to sleep.” You whined, making a show of turning around and cuddling his pillow. You knew your shorts were riding up on your thighs, hugging the curves of your ass and you wrapped your leg around the pillow.

“Better bite the pillow.” He said quickly before smacking your ass, HARD. You yelped, shoving the pillow over your mouth so as to not wake anyone.

“Belphie, what the fuck?!” You angrily whisper-shouted at him, as your body wiggled in an attempt to soothe the stinging pain. He laughed, and tugged you around so you were facing him.

“Keep acting like a brat. I can do this all night.” His amethyst eyes glinted sadistically. You pouted, but stayed quiet.

“You gonna behave?” He asked, tilting your chin so you looked up at him. Fuck, you looked so good like this. You were feisty and fiery, a general pain in the ass all the time, so knowing he could make you submit to him stroked his ego immensely.

You nodded, still pouting and he chuckled.

“Open.”

Immediately, your mouth opened and he let a glob of spit fall from his mouth on your tongue. You opened your mouth to show him your tongue for approval. He gave a short nod and you swallowed.

“Good little human.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn't keep from pressing your thighs together. As much as you wanted to pretend you were in control, you were playing a game with a literal demon.

"I can smell your arousal. Fuck, I'm amazed my brothers haven't come up here since you're dripping like a whore. Just because I spit in your mouth?" Belphie taunted. Your eyes narrowed and you bit your lip, before looking away.

He gripped your hair, tugging it tightly. His eyes bore into your soul.

"You wanna act like a brat? I had plans to fuck you till you cried from pleasure. And yet, you seem to just want to be punished."

He looked at the pillow that you had left tangled in his bedsheets, the pillow you had stretched your body over, taunting him. A wicked idea formed in his mind.

"You know what happens to brats like you?" He asked, yanking you to the floor. You looked up at him questioningly, a little scared but very turned on.

"Answer me, slutty human."

"N-no...I don't know." You said tentatively. He chuckled darkly.

"Naughty little brats don't get to cum on my cock. Fuck, naughty little brats may not get to cum at all."

You let out a whine, frustrated at this turn of events.

"You wanna cum? Get on your knees. Maybe if you do a good job, I'll take pity on your pathetic slutty pussy."

He pulled his cock out, slapping it against your cheek as he laughed. His cock was long and ridged, with a flared tip. Demon cocks, unlike human's, were made to fuck and breed, and you were spoiled having spent so long in the Devildom.

You parted your lips, as he slapped his member on your drooling tongue, before taking it deep into your mouth. His hands tangled in your hair as he fucked your face.

"Fuck, that's it slut. Take me down your throat. Just like that."

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you forced more of him down. Your jaw already ached but you kept your mouth wide, struggling not to gag on his length as his heavy balls smacked your chin. You squeezed your legs together, hoping he would take pity on you.

"Poor little human, desperate to get off. You want to ride my cock?" He asked, pulling you off his cock harshly. Strings of saliva connected the two of you. You gasped, gulping air down as you nodded.

He grabbed the pillow from the bed and threw it at you.

"Too bad. Use this. Put on a good show, and maybe I’ll fuck you.”

Your face burned with embarrassment.

“You can’t be serious.” You looked up at him. He moved his face right in front of yours, so close you could feel his warm breath on your cheek as he squeezed your face, so tightly it hurt.

“Wanna find out?”

He let go of your cheeks and shoved you back to the floor. Your eyes watered with embarrassment, shame, and yet you were so fucking turned on, you knew you would be leaving a wet patch on his pillow.

You straddled the body pillow and the slight friction of the pillow against your cunt made you whimper. You squeezed the pillow tightly between your thighs, slowly riding it, pathetic mewls falling from your mouth. You closed your eyes, trying to pretend you were in your room and not being scrutinized by the sadistic seventh-born.

“Eyes on me whore. And don’t you dare think about cumming without permission.” He smirked. You looked up at him as tears spilled down your cheeks. You wanted so badly to grind yourself on the pillow until you creamed all over it but you knew he would find more humiliating ways to torment you if you dared.

“Take off your shirt. Don’t know why the fuck you’re wearing it anyway. You’re just a fucktoy for me to use. Isn’t that right, little human?” He laughed as he sat back in a chair, watching you perform for him. He slowly palmed his cock as you pulled off your tank top, the cold air causing your nipples to harden.

“Pinch them, show me how much of a slut you are. Show me why I should even bother with you.” His hand tightened on his cock.

You wrapped your legs around the pillow tighter to hold it in just the right spot as you tugged and pinched at your breasts. Your soft moans filled the room and you knew you couldn’t last much longer like this.

“Please Belphie, c-can’t hold it in...please fuck me.” You sobbed out, your muscles tensing as you rubbed your clit against the black and white fabric. You could feel the wetness of the pillow against your thighs and knowing that your slick would be embedded in it turned you on even more.

“You can beg better than that, can’t you slut?” Belphie chuckled again, but you could see his grip tightened around the base of his cock and he was jerking himself off faster.

“Fuck...please, please let me cum. Want to cum for you, want to be your slutty fucktoy. Wanna be good for you.” You cried, biting your lip so hard you could taste blood.

“Cum.” he panted out.

Your eyes rolled back as you gushed around the soaking pillow. Your legs were squeezing it so tightly you knew you would be sore tomorrow, and you drooled out a mixture of curses and Belphie’s name as you came down from your high.

Suddenly Belphie let out a low groan and your face was hit with an explosion of warm, sticky cum. You slammed your eyes shut as he pumped load after load onto your skin. His seed spilled down your chin and dripped over your breasts.

‘Fuck, fuck MC. Fuck, I’m sorry!” Belphie breathed out, half laughing while attempting to catch his breath. You leaned back on the bed, trying to avoid getting it in your eye.

“You’re such an ass Belphie.” You whined, pouting as he cleaned you up with a towel.

After cleaning up, the two of you lay back in the bed, his head nuzzled into your chest. You ran your fingers through his dark hair humming softly.

“Hey MC.” He whispered.

“Hey yourself.” You whispered back.

The room was silent and you thought he fell asleep finally. You closed your eyes. Finally, his voice broke the calm silence.

“My pillow is gonna smell like you FOREVER.”

#belphie x reader #obey me belphie #belphegor x reader #Belphie smut #obey me smut #OBEY ME #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #omswd #belphegor

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