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#i haven't cried at all over this test but i just cried for a solid five minutes because i'm so....:((
katierosefun · 3 years
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i’m so tired :(
#caroline talks#tried to take my second practice lsat test of the day#took too long doing the first logic game#tried to muscle my way through the second one#realized i had 14 minutes left#started crying instead and just closed out of the test#and i'm taking it on saturday but i might wind up taking it again in august :(#but i don't want to take it in august because lsac is gonna bring in the experimental section again :(#and taking the test online is already hard enough :(#i don't want to sit for 3 hours instead of 2 :(#i'm so tired and sad and my brain's not working and i just miss my friends and i miss being a human :(#i'm so tired and i'm so sad and i can't even write fic right now :(#because if i write fic then i'm not studying :(#and if i'm not studying then i'm that much farther from getting the score i want :(#i'm sorry this is kinda a downer post :(#but i'm very tired :(#i'm really tired and really scared and really angry with myself :(#i haven't cried at all over this test but i just cried for a solid five minutes because i'm so....:((#and the more i thought about it the sadder i got#and the angrier i got#like i have this one friend who wanted me to come over for her birthday#and i felt terrible because my first impulse was 'oh my god how can you be so selfish i already told you i'm studying for the lsat'#and then i felt TERRIBLE because ':((( oh but my friend's important to me too :((('#and then she was like 'oh don't worry i pushed it back for this weekend instead'#and then i got angry AGAIN because 'that's the day of my lsat so i can't come' and then i felt TERRIBLE for feeling angry#and now i've just been wallowing like if this is the type of person i am over a TEST#then who the hell am i gonna be when i actually ever go to law school or start WORKING#will i just turn into an absolute monster who doesn't care about other people's feelings#will i just turn cold and angry and annoyed with people all the time#and then i cried some more
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niamhuncensored · 2 years
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Things i like to think happened after portal 2
not including the plot of half life because i haven't played it
Chell cries for the first time in at least a decade, right out of the shed. She doesn't even step into the wheat before breaking down sobbing.
it's an ugly cry, not least because it was one of the few times she actually used her vocal chords. She wasn't mute - at least, there was nothing wrong with her vocal chords. She just stopped talking and never started again.
OR she runs. Runs and runs and runs and runs and runs for miles until she's sure she's beyond aperture's vaults. (She's not, really. But the section she's standing over was completely removed from the power supply and the walls are solid steel. GLaDOS couldn't drill up even if she wanted to.)
She might take the companion cube. It's familiar and really her only friend. She keeps it even as she works her way back into society, first as a friend and her only piece of furniture (she tells herself that a friend who is also a box should be ok with being furniture from time to time), then a memento, and then as a symbolic domination over the company that treated her like she was nothing.
OR she leaves it behind. It's too heavy to carry for however far she needs to go, and she wouldn't put it past GLaDOS to pull one last trick now. A bomb, maybe. Or surveillance. Hell maybe she hoped Chell would get curious and break it open, only to find deadly neurotoxin. It's too familiar and she needs distance.
When she does end up in a decent town, she is pretty quickly arrested for vagrancy. She writes her situation to the pro Bono lawyer she's given, and the government remarkably manage to pull some money out of their asses for her, as a show of good faith. It's more than most people get. A 2 year lease on a studio apartment and food for those 2 years. Bare necessities, mind you, but the "aperture laboratories missing test subject support fund" was technically gutted a while ago and it was a miracle that she got what she did.
She holds on to the long fall boots for as long as possible. Her legs took a lot of damage at aperture, and even with the protective boots, her legs were basically jelly. The boots provided support. Even after they stop fitting her, she has them placed on display.
Chell often gets frustrated that she can't use the portal gun now. Every time she has to push a button and wait just to cross the street, she seethes.
Very occasionally, Chell forgets herself. She'll see a white wall nearby and another one near where she wants to go, thinks she put a portal there, and walks smack into a wall.
Chell, for all her pragmatic thinking and hyper competence, has no real marketable skills. She eventually grows a YouTube following by filming herself practicing the parkour she took up as a hobby.
A mainstay of her channel is test chamber-like puzzles that she makes herself, as well as arbitrary challenges requested by fans. She hates aperture with every fiber of her being, but sometimes, testing is the only thing that makes her feel like she's on solid ground. She hates her brain sometimes.
Chell learns ASL and uses captions in her videos as opposed to speech.
She eventually adopts a dog off the street. She names it Caroline.
She realizes furniture is fucking expensive and briefly considers going back just to steal some of their old chairs.
When it becomes apparent that a misanthropic rogue AI is sitting on top of a vast underground bunker and a nuclear reactor, the US military stages a series of raids on the laboratory. Suspiciously, no one ever suggests that they simply plant bombs and blow up the facility, and wash their hands of it.
Officially, that plan was determined to be too dangerous and ineffective. Unofficially, the feds intended to salvage every piece of scrap metal that wasn't rusted through. Especially the portal gun and long fall boots.
Some of the corrupted cores are shown to respond to names. Specifically, the names of some of the missing test subjects such as the astronauts in the 1968 hearings. This rips open dozens of old wounds for the families.
For those whose loved ones went missing at aperture but cannot be linked to a core, there's a terrible, treacherous hope that one of the cores is their long lost family member, only needing to come to their senses enough to remember.
For those who just found the consciousnesses of their loved ones, there are two camps. There are those who find closure in knowing what happened, and there are those who are now ten times more distraught knowing that their loved one was stripped for parts, reduced to a shell of their former self, and left to never rot in a metal ball.
A decision is reached to destroy all of the corrupt cores, putting them out of their misery. A fight nearly breaks out.
GLaDOS's severed core is among those destroyed. Chell is allowed to do the honors.
She lives a quiet life after that, finding a job in social media marketing.
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