#i have never had an abortion but i can guarantee
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The Comeback Kid
Summary: Jake never expected the one he got away to come back to him. He also never expected the reason why.
Pairing: Hangman x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of mental abuse, intimation. Abortion. Illness. Allusions to smut. Minors DNI 18+
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At twenty-one years old, Jake Seresin seemed to have it all. He was the starting quarterback for the UT Longhorns, president of his fraternity, on the Dean's list, and had guaranteed acceptance to the US Navy flight school program after graduation. To top it off, he had the most beautiful and amazing girlfriend. He had you.
Yes, life was good for Jake. Up until about six weeks after the Longhorns won the national championship. You disappeared from his life.
You stopped answering his calls. You had dropped out of school. You had moved out of your apartment. To make matters worse, your parents wouldn't tell him anything.
You had vanished without a trace.
Jake was forced to move on. To let you become a phantom, a skeleton in his closet. The one that got away.
It would be a full decade later before you crossed paths with him again in a sea-side, San Diego bar.
When he first laid eyes on you, he thought you were a ghost, and maybe you were.
You and the sins of his past had come back to haunt him.
At first, he thought he was seeing things. What were the odds that the girl he'd never gotten over had just happened to waltz into his favorite hangout?
He took a few steps closer, weaving through the crowd. The closer he got, there was no denying that green-eyed, dark auburn haired beauty in front of him was you.
Your eyes were scanning the room—looking for someone. Jake hoped that if might be him, but he didn't let himself get to attached to the idea. It had been ten years since he'd seen you.
Your eyes met his, and you moved through the crowd quickly and with purpose.
"Jake." You stated once you met him.
"Hi, Sweetheart." He greeted you. "Long time no see." His voice was still as smooth as honey. Even after a decade, he could make your knees weak.
"Jake, I'm not here to flirt. I have something important to talk to you about. Is there somewhere more—private we could go?" You asked him. You looked around the room and noticed some people watching the two of you.
Jake could tell you were serious. He'd always been so good at reading you. "Follow me." He said. He gently placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out the rear doors of the bar and down to the sand.
His heart was racing. You'd come here looking for him. Maybe, just maybe, you'd missed him just as much as he had missed you. As soon as the two of you were alone, he was going to tell you everything he'd been holding back.
The two of you stopped at the edge of the water. He turned to you and smiled before opening his mouth.
"Sweetheart, you look amazing. I've —I've missed you. Why—why did you leave me? Why did you cut me off? I tried to find you but your parents wouldn't tell me how to get in touch with you." Jake babbled out the moment the two of you are alone. You could hear the hurt in his voice
You're taken aback by his words. You didn't know he felt this way. But how could you?
"I—I didn't leave by choice, Jake." You tell him.
"Wha—what do you mean?" He looks at you confused.
"You father—he told me I had to leave you alone." You say, dropping your eyes.
"What do you mean?" From the way he was reacting, you knew he had no idea about the threats that George Seresin had made against you all those years ago.
"Do you remember the night you won the national championship?" You ask him.
"Of course I do, Sweetheart." Jake replies.
"Do you remember what we did that night?" You continue.
Jake remembered that night fondly. He'd taken you back to his hotel room, and the two of you celebrated his victory tangled up in his sheets.
"Yes." He paused. You can see the gears turning in his brain, but all the dots aren't connecting.
"Well, the next day, I realized I hadn't taken my birth control. I didn't think anything of it until six weeks later." You say.
"Oh my god." He breathes out just as the gears clicked into place.
"You were pregnant." He states.
"Yeah." You admit. "I was afraid to tell you, and when I talked to my parents, they met with yours. Your father said that a baby would ruin your future. He gave my family ten thousand dollars for me drop out, have an abortion, and never speak to you again." You confess. Your voice is heavy with tears.
"So that's why you left? I thought I did something to make you hate me. I thought you didn't love me." Jake's voice cracks.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone. That shouldn't have been my father's choice. I would have been there for you. For the baby. We could have been a family!" Jake shouts. He isn't mad at you, you know that. He's mad at what was taken away from him.
He runs his hands through his hair as he paces back and forth across the sand. You've just dropped the first bomb of the evening on him, and his having a hard time processing. You can see the tears glossing over his eyes
"I didn't get the abortion." You tell him. His head snaps up to look at you.
"You didn't?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.
My parents and I moved to the east coast, and I had the baby. A boy. His name is DJ." You tell him.
"A boy? A son? I have a son?" Jake can't stop the tears now as he chokes on the words.
"He's nine, and he looks just like you, Jake." You tell him. He's silent for a moment, trying to process everything.
"Can I see a picture?" He asks. He's afraid you'll say no, but you don't. You pull out the phone and show him picture after picture of DJ.
"He's—He's amazing. Can I—why are you just telling me this now?" Jake asks. It's been years since DJ was born, and he wants to know why all of a sudden you've come back.
"DJ, he—he's sick." You are trying not to cry again. Jake's face drops.
There it is. The other life altering news you have for him. Not only does he have a child, but he also has a child who's dying.
"What—what do you mean?" You hear the worry in his tone.
"He has leukemia. He needs a bone marrow transplant. I'm not a match, and neither are my parents." You tell him.
"I came here to find you to ask you to get tested to see if you were a match. I wouldn't ask you if I had any other options. Please, Jake. I can't lose my little boy." You couldn't fight the tears any longer. They stream down your face as you beg him for forgiveness. To not let his resentment of you leaving him be the reason he won't help you.
He doesn't say anything. Wordlessly, he pulls you close, tucking you under his chin like he always did.
You buried your face in his chest and sobbed.
"I'll do anything you need." He whispers as he presses a kiss to your hairline.
He stood there slightly, taking it all in.
His father had paid you to disappear.
You'd had his child. He was a father. He had a son.
His son was sick. You needed his help. How could he deny you?
Jake took a deep breath. The idea of fatherhood had never crossed his mind, but now that it was right here in front of him, he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do to help his son.
I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter! As always, likes are great, but comments and reblogs are golden!
Tag List: @pisupsala @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mak-32 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @rosiahills22 @roosterscock @roosterforme @hecate-steps-on-me @withahappyrefrain @arson-tm @sebsxphia @potato-girl99981 @caitsymichelle13 @lillyrosenight @callsign-hummingbird @inky-sun @writeroutoftime @afterglowsb-tch13 @heyoimjordy @phoenixssugarbaby @hypatia93 @bradshawseresinbabe @je-suis-prest-rachel @teacupsandtopgun @boringusername3 @starlightstories @daggerspare-standingby @utterlyhopeful-fics @talkfastromance4 @fighterpilothoe @t-nd-rfoot @phoenix1388 @abaker74 @gigisimsonmars @emorychase @wannabeschyulersister @greatszu @shawnsblue @tributetomrsniffles @tv-fanatic18 @angelbabyange @sadpetalsstuff @softmullet @cowboybarbie @shewritesfiction13 @sweetlittlegingy
Special shout out to @thedroneranger for helping me with this!
#top gun maverick#cherrycola27#top gun#jake seresin smut#jake seresin#lt. jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#hangman smut#hangman seresin#jake hangman seresin#hangman top gun#tgm fanfiction#tgm fic#tgm#top gun hangman#top gun 2
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The Affordable Care Act covers sterilization at no-cost if you're in the US.
Article text under cut.
Sitting in the living room of her Cleveland home, 30-year-old Grace O’Malley reflects on when she ruled out having kids of her own.
O’Malley has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a genetic condition that weakens the body’s connective tissue, and can get much worse postpartum. About three years earlier, when she was in her mid-twenties, her condition worsened. O’Malley’s doctors told her that if she did get pregnant, her uterus could rupture and her child would be more likely to be born prematurely.
O’Malley was on hormonal birth control up until last May. But after the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, she knew an abortion ban was likely coming in Ohio and she might not be able to end a pregnancy if her birth control failed. She booked an appointment with her gynecologist.
“I went in that day and I knew right away I wanted a more permanent solution,” said O’Malley. “I was like, ‘I actually want to talk about getting surgery.’ And the nurse was surprised, and she was like, ‘Oh, okay.’”
Dr. Clodagh Mullen, an obstetrician-gynecologist at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, said since the Dobbs v. Jackson decision — which took away the constitutional right to abortion and returned the issue to state governments — many of her patients have been increasingly worried about access to reproductive healthcare and seeking more permanent solutions.
“Some patients will say, ‘Oh, could you stash some IUDs for me?’” Mullen said. “They get very nervous that [birth control] is just going to go away overall. Nobody can re-implant your tube once it's been taken out, so I think that they have that comfort of there's no way anybody can take this part away from me.”
Legislators in some Midwest states have floated bans on birth control, which, so far, haven’t gone anywhere. Mullen doesn’t anticipate that access to contraception will disappear.
“But I get why people have that fear, as I also probably didn't really think that Roe was going to get overturned, if you had asked me this four or five years ago,” she said.
What Mullen is seeing in Cleveland is mirrored across the country. The Kaiser Family Foundation surveyed more than 500 gynecologists across the U.S. in the spring and about half of doctors in states with abortion restrictions reported the number of patients seeking sterilization has increased since Dobbs.
That includes states like Indiana and Missouri - where abortion is banned with very limited exceptions, and states like Ohio, Iowa and Wisconsin where bans are currently being disputed, or where residents feel they may lose the right to an abortion. Ohio voters just approved an amendment to the state constitution, which guarantees access to abortion.
Three Ohio health systems that track contraception — MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, University Hospitals in Cleveland, and Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center in Columbus — reported a sharp rise in the number of patients seeking tubal sterilization.
Contraception decisions
There aren’t many big health risks to the type of sterilization procedure Mullen performs. Doctors mostly worry about regret. Most studies found that when doctors followed up, a small percentage of women wished they hadn’t gone through with the procedure.
The majority are like O’Malley, who had some complications post surgery, but said she never second guessed her decision.
“I've never really thought about it, honestly,” said O’Malley. “It’s become kind of a fact of my daily life. It’s like, ‘Hi, I'm Grace. I have red hair and I can't have kids.’”
O’Malley is happy her doctor respected her choice. She believes the political climate helped.
She shared the story of her best friend who sought sterilization in her late 20s, about five years ago. She said her friend had to meet with several doctors before one agreed to do the procedure, and even then, made her wait another year in case she changed her mind.
“My friend did not have that kind of grace,” O’Malley said. “Her doctor probably thought, ‘You would have other options. If you got pregnant and decided that it's really not what [you] wanted, then you could get an abortion.’ Whereas for me, that might not be the option.”
Men decide, too
Men’s contraception patterns are also changing, according to physician reports.
Dr. Sarah Sweigert, a urologist at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, said doctors at her office performed double the number vasectomy consults and procedures as they had before the ruling.
She points to a Cleveland Clinic study, which showed that, in the summer following the court decision, the average age of men getting the procedure has dropped from late 30s to mid-30s compared to the same period the year before. The study also showed there was a significant increase in the number of men under 30 and men without children seeking vasectomy consultations post Dobbs. Sweigert has seen that trend first-hand in her practice.
“I think as more women speak out about perhaps not wanting to be on various forms of birth control for decades, I think that men are more aware of vasectomies and perhaps are doing their part,” she said.
Vasectomies are generally safer than female sterilization and have a much quicker recovery.
But Mullen isn’t surprised that so many women want the procedure themselves – they are the ones who would have to carry the pregnancy and handle the ensuing health impacts.
O’Malley feels that acutely. She had been in vulnerable situations in the past. She was sexually assaulted in college and went through a period where she was homeless. O’Malley said her choice was an act of self-protection.
“It’s not like I sit around thinking that the worst case scenario is going to happen,” she said. “But I would want to know that I was going to be safe and I wasn't going to end up in a situation where I was pregnant and I would have no path to go.”
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Hello, I have a family member who was molested by a family friend as an 11yo, became pregnant, and had an abortion forced upon her by her parents. She was subsequently molested, again, by a planned parenthood employee who was examining her before the abortion. Her parents treated her as if she was a consenting adult and essentially a whore. It's been many years since this happened, and she has never truly reconciled this trauma or pursued charges against her abuser. She's quite pro abortion because she feels she needs to be due to the horror of what happened - almost like a sunken cost fallacy. Any advice on how to help her come to terms with what happened and that the abortion wasn't her fault?
Hey I am really sorry I didn't answer this sooner.
This is an awful situation.
I am sadly not surprised to hear about the Planned Parenthood employee molesting her - there are way too many stories of abortion workers assaulting and molesting women and girls before and after their abortions. The book Lime 5 has a lot of examples of this and other gross mistreatment of women seeking abortion.
It's especially awful that her parents were not there to protect and support her after she was initially victimized, and that nobody was there to speak up for her or her baby. That is a lot of trauma for an 11-year-old, and she likely needs some kind of mental health support, such as a therapist or a support group, to help her process that.
Being there for her now and letting her know that you care about her is important. Ideally, she should have an opportunity to safely talk through what happened to her, either to you or to someone else she trusts. She may have warped ideas about her role in the situation, especially given the narrative her parents pushed (saying it was her fault).
If she trusts you enough to have that conversation and she feels safe enough to do so (definitely don't push it!), it may be helpful to listen to her version of events and challenge points where she assigns herself undue guilt/blame.
For example, if she talks about the assault and then tries to say she "asked for it" or "should have said no sooner," you can challenge that by saying "you were a child and he was an adult. It was his responsibility to not hurt you that way."
There's no guarantees here, but if her mindset is that she is to blame for the situation and the abortion is what "got her out of it," challenging those feelings of guilt would be step one.
It is incredibly common for post-abortive women to support abortion because opposing it would mean acknowledging what they did. This is where the Gospel is so important - yes, abortion kills a human child. Yes, it is murder. But there is forgiveness in Jesus Christ even for the destruction of innocent life, because Christ's blood was shed to atone for the sins of the whole world, including the sin of abortion.
Now, in her case, she's not the one who committed the sin. She was sinned against by multiple other people - the rapist, her parents, the Planned Parenthood employee, and the abortionist, at the minimum. Acknowledging that what they did to her was wrong is the first step to her being free from it.
It also may be helpful for you to reach out to a local post-abortion support group or to contact this abortion healing support line and ask for their advice in supporting her. If she's willing, they can also help her get connected to local support.
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What To Expect When You're Not Expecting (3)
Chris Evans x Black (pregnant) Female Reader
Summary: It's no secret that Chris wants to be a daddy. He's said it in many different interviews and blogs before. He just never expected the mother of his child to be someone he didn't know, let alone fuck.
Warnings: 18+ angst, mentions of alcohol abuse and cheating/ malpractice, talk of abortions!
Note: If this gets a few hits and is well received I can make it a mini-series. If not I'll leave it one and done.
Edit: To my surprise, many of you like this and asked me to continue, here's the second part and a tag list to join! I'm trying to start my blog up so this really helps!
divider by: @firefly-graphics
taglist link here
(the reader is about two and a half months at this point)
Another school week had come to a close and you still hadn't been able to have a proper meal without the aid of ginger ale by your side. your advanced placement section had just left, and most of the high school was clearing out or joining their afterschool activities. You sighed packing your books and laptop away in your tote bag. Before you could shut off your desktop you heard a soft knock on your door.
You turned around and saw Aria Evans standing in your doorway with her basketball uniform on. She was not only brilliant at academics but in sports as well. Basketball in the fall, soccer in the spring. She was guaranteed to get into a stunning university.
"Aria.' You smiled. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I, um, I was just checking in on you. You know, from a few weeks ago." Her eyes wandered to your stomach which had started to grow at this point causing you to wrap your arms around yourself.
"I'm fine Aria, thank you." You smiled softly.
"Do you know who my uncle is?" She blurted.
you looked down at your shoes, you turned, and finished packing your bag. "No." You lied.
"I don't mean to be in your business, but I overheard my mom and him talking.' She played with the hem of her uniform. "I just wanted to know if it was true."
You sucked in a deep breath, shaking as you expelled it through your nose. "Aria, is this really an appropriate question for you to be asking me?"
"No, I guess not.' She kissed her teeth, walking towards your door. "I just thought you'd be honest is all."
You turned around to face her. "What is there to be honest about if you already know?" You dropped your arms letting your growing belly be on display.
Aria shook her head and pushed open your classroom doors, disappearing into the hallway. You sighed, throwing your hands over your face. Now that a teenager knew your secret you were certain everyone would soon after.
—
Chris was still shocked you had agreed to get coffee with him after last week's fiasco. This time he wanted it to be just the two of you. No managers, no lawyers, no drama—hopefully.
Chris had gotten a small corner of the cafe for you two to occupy. Now all he had to do was wait for you. it hadn't been long until he saw you walk in. You had your phone in your hand and you were bundled up in scarfs and a long coat, sporting a pair of boots that made your frame look slimmer.
You looked around the cafe obviously looking for him. He took the liberty to bring you to your table. Chris walked over to you and placed a gently hand on your elbow.
“Hi.” He said, a smile could be captured from underneath his Boston baseball cap.
“Hi.” You picked off a curl that hand stuck onto your lipgloss.
Chris smiled softly at you. “We’re over here.’ He felt you stiffen. “By we’re, I mean you and I.” He reassured.
“Right.’ You chuckled softly, following behind him.
“I didn’t know what you’d like. So I left the menu for you.” Chris groaned, sitting down.
“Probably just a ginger ale. I can’t stomach much else.” You explained, feeling a gaging sensation even now.
“That bad, huh?” He asked, feeling bad for you.
“Mhm.’ You nodded, focused on finding a waitress before you puked everywhere.
“Have you told anybody?” Chris sipped on his coffee that was already running cold.
“What?” You turned to look at him.
“About the pregnancy.’ He sat his cup down gently. “I wouldn’t want you going through it alone.”
“Um.’ You coughed to keep your vomit at bay. “Just my best friend Vada. My sister is at LSU, and my mom.’ You paused, not ready to go that deep with Chris yet. “Just my best friend.”
“But I know you’ve told people.” You said finally flagging down a waitress, begging for a bottle of ginger ale.
“How do you know that?” Chris’s eyes bunched together.
You pushed your lips together making them turn white, before opening them to speak. “I teach your niece aria. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a joy and one of my brightest student’s. But she did ask me if I was pregnant by you the other day.”
“God.” Chris shook his head. “I’m sorry about her, she must have heard me and my sister talking.”
“It’s fine.’ You smiled shortly, downing your first sip of ginger ale. “So what did you want to talk about?’ You burped. “Sorry.”
Chris stifled a laugh. “Just the baby, I suppose.” Chris had so much he wanted to talk about, but he wanted to take it slow with you. He could tell you were still holding back.
“What about the baby?” You asked, finally not feeling goosebumps when you said that word. You were finally bonding with your little ball of a mistake and you kind of liked it—just hoped it would stop making you sick.
“Well maybe we should set up an ultrasound, and get you some prenatal vitamins. Maybe even a home birth nurse, and a doula for after you give birth.” Chris rambled.
You took a sip of your ginger ale, laughing as your lips attached to the bottle. “Someone did their research.’ You chuckled, Chris doing the same. “I just can’t afford those things and I’m already paying high insurance for something unrelated.’ You sighed. “Let’s just start at the ultrasounds and store bought prenatal vitamins—and I’ll only have pizza twice a week.”
Chris looked you up and down, you really didn’t even think of him as an option in getting you those things. He wanted the two of you to be a team on this. He needed you to know you can trust him and he wants the best for you and his baby.
“Well, I mean I could always pay for it.’ Chris took a sip of his coffee, his blue eyes staring at you through the heat that seeped from his cup.
“Ha.’ You snorted. “That’s some really expensive stuff.’ You pulled out your phone typing away. “A doula alone is anywhere from eight hundred to twelve hundred a night.” You shook your head.
“Well I’m not on a regular salary.” He said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You folded your arms.
Chris sat his cup down, and leaned back spreading his arms on the cushion of the couch. “Just means if we want something for our baby, I can get it.” He said, with a rough low voice. “You’re just gonna have to trust me.”
“We’ll see.’ You said, looking him up and down. “I’ll set an ultrasound for next weekend, with my new gynecologist by the way.” You rolled you eyes. “Have you done anything with Perez yet? I can’t afford to.”
“My teams working on something, she’ll get what’s coming for her. We’ll cover your butt too so don’t worry about it.” Chris said, not wanting you to stress about it.
“Right.’ You finished your bottle.
The moment got quiet for you and Chris and the air around you began to thicken as he stared at you with those ocean eyes. Reading you. Studying you. You shifted uncomfortably coughing and moving your eyes from his direct line of sight.
He spoke. “Do you still have the pills?”
You knew this question was coming. You knew how much Chris wanted this, how obviously he feared with one choice it could be over for him. It was your turn to read Chris and he looked worried, every part of his firm body softened praying your truth matched his want—his hope.
You swallowed, tucking your lips inward. “I flushed them.” You admitted.
You could hear Chris audibly gasp, it was a sound of relief. “Why?” He asked, feeling his hope rising as you spoke.
You sighed, crossing your legs the tip of your boot touching his knee cap. “Because I want this.”
Chris smiled brightly, almost too brightly. God, he wanted to hug you. But he wouldn’t. It felt like something he could maybe sneak in after you had given birth. But for now the relationship still felt professional.
“I’m so glad to here you say that.” His smile still visible under his hat.
“You really want kids?” You asked him.
“A big Boston family.” He said.
“Well I’m only giving you one, so cherish it.” You laughed a bit.
“Right.’ Chris laughed along. “And you?”
“Hm?’ You tilted your head to the side.
“Want any kids?” He asked.
“No, but I guess I do now.” You smiled somberly, rubbing your growing belly.
Chris sat up looking down at your sweater covered womb. He almost reached for it, but he didn’t want to violate. “May I?” He blurted.
Your eyes went wide. Did you let him touch you? You almost wanted to say no. But this was his child too. “Yes.” You said hesitantly.
Chris’s hand reached out slowly toward yours belly, as he gently placed it onto you lower abdomen. He couldn’t feel much physically— but spiritually he felt his child and he loved their first touch. He smiled as his eyes watered. Chris was really going to be a daddy.
“You can’t feel much yet.” You said, looking down at Chris’s large hand.
“I know. It’s firm though.” He moved his hand.
“It isn’t always like that, so I guess that’s something.”
“Why do you touch it? Your belly?” He asked.
You were starting to notice that Chris was full of questions. “Just a comfort, knowing I’m not all alone anymore. Someone’s here with me.” You were honest.
Chris nodded and the room fell silent again for you two. Mostly because there was so much both of you wanted to say but were just to afraid to say, and you’d already rested enough water for today it felt.
“I’m going to order my Uber.” You spoke up, breaking the ice.
“Uber?” Chris asked. “I can drive you.”
“No, no.’ You waved him off. “It’s fine.”
“Y/n,” Chris placed his warm hand on your knee it jump slightly. “I insist, Ubers aren’t safe anyways.”
“You don’t live too far from here anyways.” He said.
Your eyebrows furrowed. “How do you know where I live?” You lowered your phone.
Chris’s eyes went wide. Embarrassed he had let that slip. “Well when I needed to find you I hired a private investigator and I guess he went really private.” He said watching your face fold in confusion.
“You hired someone to find me?” You stood up, trying to keep your voice to a minimum.
Chris stood up too. “Well yes, how else could I have found you.” He justified.
“I’m gonna wait for my uber outside.” You shook your head, tucking your coat to your body.
Chris rolled his eyes. Boy you were a stubborn one. He followed after you catching the door you had slammed, not knowing if it was intentional or not.
“Hey,’ he jogged toward you. “Y/n, cancel it.” He sighed, holding his hands on his hips.
“Why?” You asked, not looking at him.
“Because I’m taking you home.” He pushed his Audis keys making the car light up from across the parking lot.
“You don’t have to take care about me because I’m pregnant.” You said, shoving a piece of spearmint gum into your mouth.
“I do care about you.”
You laughed, popping a bubble with your gum. “You don’t even know me.”
“Maybe I want to get to know you.’ He said, rolling his keys in his hands.
You let another bubble pop, looking him up and down. God he was mulish. “Fine.”
“Fine what?” Chris almost grinned.
“Fine you can’t take me home.”
Chris smiled. “Perfect.”
—
The ride had been quiet so far, neither of you know what to say to feel the void. Honestly your Uber would have been more enjoyment than this. You had to say his car did drive nicely, and was oddly clean.
You snickered as you looked out the passenger window, the Boston trees morphing from their summer shades to their fall ones.
“What’s so funny.” Chris asked.
“You.”
Chris looked over at you for a brief moment before focusing back on the rode. “And how am I funny, Ms. Y/n?”
“Your car, it’s just really clean.’ You picked the fuzz off your cardigan. “Does someone do it for you?”
Chris laughed, fixing his baseball cap on his head. “What you think I can’t clean my own car?”
“No, it just looks really clean, like really clean.” You expressed
“And your car isn’t?”
“I don’t have a car.”
Chris frowned. “Oh, I didn’t realize.”
“Wouldn’t call an Uber if u had one.”
“Maybe I can help you with that.” Chris coughed, rubbing the back of his neck.
The car stopped at a red light and so did you heart. This was exactly what you didn’t want to happen. Chris get whim off your financial short comings and wanting to fix everything for you. You didn’t need his help with anything but the baby.
“I can manage.” You grumbled, crossing your arms.
Chris sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He rubbed a hand over his full beard. “I just meant I want to help out where I can.”
“I’ve been saving up from my other job for a while now.’ You said. “No need.”
Chris’s eyes bunched together. When him and his p.i had worked together they hadn’t found you had another job. And they out found almost everything about you. “You have another job besides teaching?” He turned into your small apartment complex.
“Yeah.” You felt the car jolt as he put it into park.
“Where? If you don’t mind me asking.” He turned his body slightly towards you.
You gathered your purse, pushing open his door. “A bar in downtown Boston. I work Saturday and Sunday nights.”
“Why?”
You laughed, holding your belly as you swung out of his low seating car. “Because not all of us can be multimillionaire actors like you.”
Chris swallowed hard. “Right. Well can you text me when you set the appointment, I want to be there.” Chris smiled.
You nodded. “Thank you.’ You said, fumbling with your keys. “For the ride.”
“Anytime.” He smiled. Watching you as you unlocked the door and entered the complex.
Chris released a heavy breath putting his car in drive and pulling off. He hated that you were working two jobs and had no car. He knew it wasn’t his place but he wanted your pregnancy to be comfortable and smooth sailing. Not filled with stress, he wanted to do something for you— a nice jester, he just hoped you didn’t take it wrong.
@goldenlouvr @rookiemartin @stokeleybabymama @peachy-bunnns @pbeckn26 @saturnalya @a-moment-captured
@fairlygothparents @eylsqnn
blahblahblah-boo @jackiekae @
shhhchriss
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a/n: guys I did not expect this story to blow up, especially with my blog being so new! I appreciate all the love and support and I will definitely keep this series going with more drama and angst to ensue! But if you’d like to be tagged send me an ask it’s easier to keep up with! ❤️
#chris evans imagine#chris evans x black reader#chris evans smut#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#chris evans x reader ‘smut’#chris evans x reader#Chris Evans pregnancy#blackoc#angst#bwwm love#chris evans x black women#chris evans fic#chris evans rpf#chris evans characters#chris evans story#chris evans blurb#chris evans fandom#chris evans fluff#chris evans x woc#chris evans x woc!reader#chris evans daddy#chris evans#cevans#cevans x reader#cevans x black reader#ceveans x woc!reader#cevans one shot#chris evans one shot#fic rec
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Charlotte Dawson, 47 (Australia 2014)
To an outsider, it might have seemed like Charlotte Dawson had it all. She was a judge on Australia’s Next Top Model and hosted the boxing reality show The Contender Australia and Getaway in New Zealand. Her career was widely known and she was admired by many.
But Charlotte was struggling. She suffered from severe depression for years before finally revealing the cause of her suffering in her autobiography.
In 1999, Charlotte married Scott Miller, an Olympic athlete. Sometime in the few short months that they were married, Charlotte became pregnant.
Charlotte’s autobiography Air Kiss & Tell documented the trauma she suffered from the abortion. She had been so excited at first to realize she was pregnant. “I knew I was pregnant; I didn’t have to have the test, I could just feel it. It was the most brilliant but terrifying feeling and the test did, as expected, confirm it… We were going to have a baby. I was actually going to be a mother. If there had been room to have butterflies in my stomach, I figure I could have managed that as well, such was my ability to multi-task.”
But when Charlotte told Scott the happy news, he became upset. The baby’s due date was close to the Summer Olympics and Scott considered his child a distraction. Charlotte wrote, “Inside I was in total turmoil. I wanted the baby. How long would we have to wait? Were there even any guarantees that I would fall pregnant again? Of course, I accepted without question that the Olympics was Scott’s number-one priority — I had been told that by him and a number of other interested and invested parties.”
Charlotte didn’t want to have an abortion, but others in her life pressured her into it. She was fed the lie that she needed to give up her baby for her husband’s career. This was the lie that killed Charlotte’s baby and sent Charlotte into depression. Demoralized, frustrated and scared, dhe underwent the abortion that her husband wanted her to have. After the abortion, she had her first experience with something that would never leave her: depression.
“I wanted our baby, but I felt greedy, like I already had too much, that the termination was a compromise I should make… When I got home, I felt that something had changed. I felt a shift. Maybe it was hormonal, but I felt the early tinges of what I can now identify as my first experience with depression… I should have bought a couch especially for the depression bogeyman right then and there. If I had known he was going to visit so often, I would have at least have had somewhere for him to sit, the bastard.”
Charlotte’s reluctant sacrifice of her only child for the sake of her husband’s Olympic career was for nothing. Miller was doping to enhance his performance and was allegedly caught cheating on Charlotte with a swimmer. He didn’t even make the team for the Sydney Olympics. The two of them got divorced only a few months after they were married, leaving Charlotte alone to grieve.
Her depression never left. Charlotte wrote about numbing the emotional pain with alcohol and trying to cope with her trauma: “I was just a depressed mess… I was single, damaged and miserable.”
As her mental health continued to decline, Charlotte struggled. She was repeatedly hospitalized, suffered from panic attacks, was eventually fired from her roles in TV. The management company Chic Management parted ways with her, saying her battles with mental illness were ‘damaging her brand’. Charlotte attempted suicide in 2012, but survived this attempt.
Charlotte worked against bullying and helped raise money for children’s charities. She was cyberbullied after joining anti-bullying campaign Community Brave, but continued her work. She mentored younger models, and at least one of them thought of her as a second mother. She was open about her depression diagnosis and tried to raise awareness about mental illness. But after years of suffering, her depression was unbearably painful.
On February 21, Charlotte saw some friends. Pictures posted on the internet showed a seemingly lovely day, but the friends stated that Charlotte was in a terrible mental state. That was the last time they saw her alive.
On February 22, 2014, a real estate agent from the company Morton and Morton found her body. She had committed suicide.
While media covered Charlotte’s death, many sources ignored the role that abortion played in her depression and suicide.
"Charlotte Dawson: I gave up my baby for my husband" The Australian Women's Weekly. 26 September 2012
https://people.com/celebrity/charlotte-dawson-australias-next-top-model-judge-found-dead/
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/celebrity/charlotte-dawson-found-dead-20140222-338j6.html
https://www.news.com.au/charlotte-dawson-found-dead-after-long-and-public-battle-with-depression/news-story/4d3f4302f5fad49af82ffab4b90e6e8e
#tw abortion#tw su1cide#tw sui#tw sui attempt#unsafe yet legal#tw ab*rtion#tw murder#abortion debate#abortion#mental health#pro life#death from legal abortion#charlotte dawson
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Can you do headcannons for Levi x reader where he finds out his s/o is pregnant and how he is finding out, and during the pregnancy and birth? Thank you!
EXPECTING FATHER! LEVI ★ masterlist.
warnings: season 4 spoilers, read at your own risk
⏤ help i'm weak.....need dad levi pls.....
i think levi’s reactions to pregnancy would be super different depending on which timeframe we’re in
if it’s pre season 4, i can imagine levi being really anxious about the pregnancy due to the nature of his work (and if his partner is also a soldier, then everything becomes more complicated and scary) ((this au is pre season 4, because i feel like post season 4, he'll just be like any other relieved expecting father))
levi tries his best at work but there’s never a guarantee that he will make it back alive
and pregnancy is scary too, he’s worried that things might go wrong during the birth, and he’s not exactly in the best position to raise a child alone
he doesn’t want his future kids to have an upbringing the same way he did, without parents who can put in 100%
he misses his mom a lot and wished that he had a dad, so it’s important to him that his kid has a good childhood and grows up knowing that they’re loved
because levi would never even be unsafe during sex with someone he didn’t love truly, he’s comfortable going forward with the pregnancy with his partner and just doing his best with extreme caution and preparation
his reaction is pretty neutral, although inside there’s a lot going on, but voicing any of it wouldn’t be helpful for his partner, who is probably just as freaked out, as i can’t imagine either levi or the partner being toooo happy about the pregnancy since the timing is awful
but still, they will try because it happened, and they love each other
(also i doubt that abortion is safe in this period of time, and even if it was common and unsafe, i can’t see either of them wanting to take the risk of death?)
if his partner is a soldier, then it doesn’t matter who they were or what rank they had, they would absolutely be withdrawn from their duties beyond the wall
he might somehow get it cleared that they’re allowed to do in-wall duties like office work or overseeing recruits, doing the admin or counselling work, just keeping it down to earth with the recruits and lower ranks, but doing field work is pretty much forbidden for his partner
levi will pour himself into his office work for a while as a distraction, and he realises he can’t be too reckless beyond the wall, no matter how good he knows he can be
i’ve never thought that levi, outside of the field, is an unkind person, and actually he’s very gentle just with difficulties voicing his feelings due to never being told it was an ok thing to do as a child
that being said, he’s very attentive to his partner and will do anything if it means enabling them a smooth pregnancy experience
there’s no doctors that can do like scans or anything, so he always feels nervous that something might be wrong that they don’t know about
and now that dr yeager is gone and the military doctors aren’t exactly prepared or well versed on childbirth, everything just feels scary
i can see him going to experienced soldiers who have families and asking for advice, and for once is very appreciative of hange’s intrusiveness as they are always a second helping hand should his partner need anything that he can’t easily give
the scouts are a family and they all understand the fragileness of this pregnancy, so they know to be careful and kind and thoughtful, and generally they are
but i can see levi bringing his emotions home sometimes and that can be bad for the pregnancy, so he’s not a perfect partner 100% of the time
he can close off when his partner needs him because he’s so stressed and overwhelmed, but doesn’t want to negatively impact his relationship (but in closing off, he does this to himself)
but in general, i can’t see levi being unloving or unkind, and actually even the other soldiers have said that this pregnancy has made levi a tad bit kinder to the other soldiers
not that he’s ever mean, because he’s just direct which can sometimes be read as mean, but now he’s a lot more careful with what he says and he’s always inquisitive where it can get him help and info
when his partner goes into labour, he’s lucky that it’s early hours of a random week and not a week where they’re beyond the wall doing field work
he had thought a lot about labour and for a while didn’t know if he wanted to be in the room
what if his son or daughter comes out and doesn’t make it? what if his partner doesn’t make it? what if they BOTH don’t make it?
erwin told him to think about what if they both made it and he missed everything, and eventually he decided to be present in the room
he also asked for erwin to be there, which is partner didn’t seem to mind, because if things did go sour, he’d need that brother figure or else he’d die too
as expected though, everything goes fine
he’s very surprised by the amount of blood and fluids and just how intense everything is
he already respected his partner but watching them give birth just kind of transcends his respect for them
i can see him being the father who doesn’t want to leave the room ever
he always wants to be near his partner and baby, wants to hold them, wants to watch them sleep and eat and wriggle around
he definitely won’t feel comfortable with his partner returning to field work after delivery, so if they were a soldier, then they’re unfortunately being retired exclusively to the HQ to do admin work
when all of this is over, he wants to retire and live in a little cottage with trees and flowers
(unfortunately there will be bumps in the road to get there, but even in his wheelchair and aged bones, he can still have his cottage with his child, partner and adopted murder warriors)
#aot headcanons#levi#levi ackerman#levi ackerman imagine#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader#levi aot#aot levi#aot headcanon#attack on titan#attack on titan headcanons#aot imagine#attack on titan imagine#levi imagine#levi scenario#levi ackerman headcanons#upload#mine#ittojean#jeanbie
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Abortions do not save the lives of young girls.
CW: CSA, rape, sui mention
It's a misconception that girls below teenage years can't safely carry a pregnancy to term. Provided they receive sufficient and timely maternal/prenatal care, doctors will follow the same protocols with smaller girls as they would for very short women. For some young girls it may be best that they not give vaginal birth, but the overall risk of harm to their bodies is mitigated by the timing and quality of their pregnancy care.
The reasons childhood pregnancies often have more complications is NOT because the bodies of young girls can't handle it. Complications commonly arise because childhood pregnancies are often discovered late (girl is too young to know signs of pregnancy and adults don't know until she starts showing), and because girls often lack access to good prenatal care (either because care is not available, or they aren't aware of the availability and necessity of such care).
Without early pregnancy care, girls are more likely to develop preventable disease or to let treatable disease progress. Pregnancy is not disease, but disease may happen within pregnancy.
Young girls are also more likely to experience complications from abortion procedures, such as asherman's syndrome and preterm birth in later pregnancies. Some studies found girls who experience abortion to be more at risk for cancer, addiction, and death by suicide later in life. Whether a childhood pregnancy ends in abortion or childbirth, there is no option that is free from risk of further harm.
And there is no option that guarantees reduction of trauma. Additional trauma may be caused by disease and stigma, or come from parenting and adoption. Childbirth may be traumatic. Abortion may be traumatic. None of this may be traumatic. All of these traumas are separate from the initial traumas of rape and forced impregnation.
However, pregnancy itself is not inherently traumatic. Abortion is not evidence-based treatment for the trauma of CSA. Abortion is not a standard of care for the treatment of trauma. Abortion cannot undo or prevent trauma.
But abortion can, and often is, used by abusers to hide the traumatic harm they have done to a girl. Abortion clinics do not report abuse because it's bad for business; they need girls to come back for more abortions. That is their business model.
None of this is an argument for or against the morality of abortion after CSA. These are just objective facts.
When abortion occurs after CSA, the rapist ought to be held accountable for both the abuse of one child and the death of another. Rape destroys lives. That is truth. Abortion kills people. That is also true. Some victims feel deep relief after abortion. Some survivors find healing in keeping their babies. All of this can be true.
But don't say young girls can't survive pregnancy, so abortion saves their lives. That is objectively untrue.
If you are a CSA victim who was told you would die if you didn't get an abortion, or that you had no choice but to abort, I am so sorry that you were lied to and that you were failed by the people that should have protected you. I am so sorry you were violated and exploited. I am so sorry they hurt you and that they hurt your baby.
From one CSA survivor to another, I want you to know that you didn't deserve that. You deserved the truth, and you deserved your baby. You deserved better than abuse and abortion. It has never been your fault. We love you. The folks at supportafterabortion.com want to help you heal.
To learn about preventing CSA, to seek help for a victim, or to find support as a survivor, I highly recommend 1in6.org, regardless of your gender. Call 988 if you're in crisis. It gets better, I promise.
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No one but you
Or Buck and Diane won't leave me alone and they demanded an au of them getting together.
Cw: unplanned pregnancy, mentions of illegal abortions, cheating, spoilers for Masters of the Air (and some for Peaky Blinders since Diane is a Peaky Blinders OC)
Link to No one has to know
They shouldn’t have let come this far, and yet they are meeting up in a hotel room because neither can stop themselves from this. They loved each other, they were each other’s peace in this hell and yet, there was no guarantee this would change for the better tonight.
She waits for him on the bed that might as well be theirs considering how often they come here. She’s nervous, she’d broken up with Tom last time he was on leave because she knew he would never raise a baby that wasn’t his. It had hurt, she loved him, but she loved Gale, and it was his baby she was having.
He didn’t know yet. He would leave this room knowing that but whether he is willing to leave his Marjorie to raise a child with her is another thing entirely.
Diane had known of someone here who could take care of it before it even showed, and yet, she hadn’t wanted to erase a future with a blond-haired baby boy that was a perfect mix of them both.
John Gale Cleven, blonde haired with his smile and her mismatched eyes. Conceived in love and sin under a tree.
“Are you feeling better, Di. Helen said you weren’t in today because of it.” He asks with concern as he left his jacket on the hook and, for a moment, became Gale Cleven, not Major Gale Cleven with a sweetheart back home.
“Yeah, just needed some time off.” She smiles nervously and hates herself for not being careful. This was the last thing they needed, but she doesn’t want to get rid of it, and it’s better if she tells him now. “Actually, I need to talk to you about that.”
Buck knows exactly what she means and goes through every stage of grief--- except anger----as he crosses the room and joins her on the bed. “How far along are you?”
“A month, maybe more.” Diane answered avoiding his eyes, she has no idea why she’s bracing herself? Rejection? No, Gale Cleven isn’t the type to do that. Shame? Actually, both were already keeping their entire relationship a secret because both had someone waiting for them, so it could be that.
“Does your Tom know?” Gale held her hand in comfort, and she shook her head. He knew she’d ended things with Tom, but never the specifics of it.
“He thinks it’s just the guilt of our arrangement that led to me breaking things off with him. I didn’t want to make it worse when I still wasn’t sure if I was pregnant.” Diane leaned against his shoulder knowing her fears about him tossing her out like last week’s trash for getting pregnant. “You don’t have to do right by me, I have enough money to not care what people think of me as an unwed mother,”
That is a lie, the word whore will be thrown around enough for Gale to feel the insult all the way in America.
“I’d marry you even if there was no baby, Diane. At least we won’t have to hide any longer.” A small consolation even if it means setting themselves on fire to make this wrong into a right.
“A small consolation, isn’t it?”
And it is.
While what men did off the clock was no one’s business, Gale’s reputation of an honest and principled soldier does take a hit.
Bucky is angry on Marjorie’s behalf, and angry at him for not listening to him. Even worse for not telling him.
“I love her, Bucky, and she’s having my baby. I feel terrible for what I did to Marge, but its too late for that now.” He can’t just abandon his own child, and even if everything’s gone to hell, Buck can’t regret choosing Diane over Marge.
She understands what he’s going through, she is here and perfect and this was their only chance to be together.
“Can’t argue with that, Buck. So, when’s the wedding?” he gives him a pat on the shoulder, still smarting for this betrayal of their friendship and yet still there for him as always.
“As soon as her folks come from Birmingham, and we get a license. I don’t want to risk the baby being born on the wrong side of the sheets if I don’t come back.” Buck answered getting to the good part. “I was thinking of you being my best man.”
“Only if I can sing at your wedding.”
Even with Bucky’s caterwauling and the night bombings, it’s one of the happiest days in his life.
It’s September, when Gale Winston Cleven marries Diane Elizabeth Shelby a month and two weeks since they made love under their tree.
She looks beautiful, in a plain white dress and whatever flowers the children at the base managed to make into a bouquet for her.
He gets three days in London as his honeymoon, three days and two nights in a townhouse owned by Diane’s father, a man who understands why he can never accept a medal in this godforsaken war.
“I’ll come back; I promise. Take care of yourself and the baby, Di.” He said before every mission and kissed her goodbye because now she was Mrs. Gale Cleven not the nurse he pretended was only his friend.
The letters from home had come, angry, disappointed, and resigned. Marge’s had tearstains from crying, his mother was happy for him even if she compared him to his father, but they understood why he did this and wished them the best.
If she makes you happy in ways I couldn’t, then I hope the two of you will be happy together, Marge had written and with that her letters ceased all together, her photograph sent back and replaced with Diane on their wedding day.
When he asked her what she thought Tom did with his picture of her, she shrugged and answered, Tom had torn it up, burned the pieces, and tossed the ashes in the shitter.
But Tom and Marge were their past, Buck and Diane were now each other’s present and future.
“I love you.” The words still come as whispers, and yet they no longer carry the guilt or shame they used to come with.
He has six more missions to go.
Six more and he will get to see the mysterious Arrow House before going to train boys in the States. They’d have to face his family and friends sooner or later, sooner seemed better if it took them away from the bombs.
Being Mrs. Cleven is great, they are out in public as husband and wife with nothing to stop them. Some dirty looks are there because everyone knew about Tom and Marge and yet none of them can truly judge them because everyone sought comfort any way they could.
They are given a tiny house on the base because, they do provide space for married couples serving together. She does her work he does his and at the end of the day they are each other’s peace here.
Gale kisses her hungrily when he comes back from his missions, seeking release from his torments in her and relishing having no reason to stop loving each other anymore.
“Twenty-two. Three more and we get to go home.” Buck trails his fingers on her arm and kissed her shoulder so sweetly Di wished he didn’t have to go.
She had a bad feeling; she’d seen the results in the cards and felt a stab in her heart when Gale’s card came next in the sequence and known this was a mission he wouldn’t come back from. The young witch had told him about it, but he assured her he’d always come back to her.
He loves her and she loves him even if death tries to part them.
“I know, can’t wait to see where you grew up.” She pushed back the preemptive grief and smiled through it. She has good news too, something that will give him some bit of joy before everything goes to hell. “The cards say it’s a boy.”
He smiles broadly, almost silent in his joy as he embraces her tightly as they lay in bed. “Would you mind if we named him John?”
“Not at all, love.”
They decided on John Egan Cleven when he leaves for Bremen. Bucky would be his godfather, of course, and the godmother would be Janey Dogs, one of Diane’s best friends who happened to be Romani as well. Janey’s father, Johnny, had two wives even if it went against tradition and the law, but he was the exception amongst the families they traveled with, something Buck still couldn’t wrap his head around.’
“I’ll come back; I promise. Take care of yourself and the baby, Di.” Those are the last words he says before he goes on the mission he did not come back from.
No one save for Bucky understands the pain she feels and promises he will be avenged when they part ways, Bucky to Germany and Diane to her parent’s home in Birmingham.
Bucky’s captured two days after.
She writes to his mother to comfort her; she promises to use her dad’s and her own money and influence to find out what happened and if necessary, demand they return his body home.
He's not dead, Di feels it in her heart that he’s alive and tells his mother so.
They begin corresponding, taking comfort, and learning every little thing they can about Gale’s life before the war, during the war and now as he is held in a German Prisoner of War Camp.
Diane writes letters to him the moment she learns where he is, assures him they are fine here in Arrow House. She tells him about the estate, the gardens, about her family and how well she gets on with his mother through letters.
All of them holding anything that can help them survive long enough to escape the Germans. It takes a while for him to write back and sends Bucky’s apologies for getting captured too and asks her subtly what they should do next.
“You used to do the same with Marge’s letters,” Bucky points out as Buck inhaled the still fresh smell of Diane’s perfume in her letters.
It was as comforting as Marge’s had been back at Thorpe Abbotts, he had almost forgotten that. He still felt guilt for hurting her that way, but Gale couldn’t say he regretted choosing Diane and his son that day.
“I know. If I hadn’t fucked it up, they could’ve been friends.” The blond admits to seeing the similarities in the two women.
“What does Mrs. Cleven say?” Bucky asks as the most trusted of their men gather pretending to listen go on about his wife.
News from the front and what her readings say they should do are hidden in meaningless phrases, made up gossip and anything she can make up under the guise of a lovesick young bride. He writes back in a similar code asking her to ferry the information they manage to hide in love letters to anyone important enough to be of use.
Gale sees his twenty-sixth birthday at Stalag Luft III. He doesn’t tell her what he did to stay healthy enough to live, as far as she knows he’s being kept well. She tells him his namesake, Winston fucking Churchill, has put her in contact with Allied Intelligence to come up with a fool-proof escape plan when the invasion begins.
Stay put, stay safe, we will be waiting for you as we always are, she wrote.
Winter of 1943 turns to the spring of 1944 and on May 14th of 1944, John Egan Cleven is born in great health contrary to the lie of him being premature like they told his family.
On June 18th of that year, as his Father’s Day gift, Buck receives a photograph of his son and a lock of blonde hair wrapped in a thin ribbon with a code.
While the invasion of Europe had begun that summer, they couldn’t escape safely until 7 pm, January 27th, 1945.
“Di says evening of January 27th of next year. Do you think we can stay put until then?”
“Gives us enough time to plan this shit right.” Bucky lights up at the news and quickly forgets all the times he doubted Diane’s abilities for telling them to stay put. “Nurse, heiress, psychic and spy, you sure know how to pick them, Buck.”
“Meatball picked her, if anything I should be thanking DeMarco for the mutt.”
Seven months to have the allies close enough for them to escape safely.
And they do, with minimal casualties they reach allied soldiers after escaping during the Moosburg March on January 27th of 1945 at seven in the evening just as Diane had said.
“I told you; I’d come back, I always do.” Twelve days later, on February 8, 1945, he is reunited with his wife and his son at the same tree they fell in love under.
#diane shelby#buck cleven#buck cleven x diane shelby#masters of the air meets peaky blinders#gale cleven#masters of the air fanfic#no one has to know fic#mota fanfic
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Boy I'm gonna say something controversial!
You know how sometimes feminists — a lot of times radfems, but also actual feminists on occasion — would say the phrase "if men had uteruses abortion rights would never be questioned/periods would be more researched/birth control would be free/etc". General reaction to that from trans spaces is "well some men do have uteruses!! So to say this thing is extremely transphobic", and sometimes even "some men have uteruses, therefore this is not a gender issue at all!"
Of course, the phrase could be transphobic, and sometimes those people do forget about existence of trans men and transmascs; my issue is, however, with the reactions.
I never really understood the train of thought "trans men suffer because of this thing therefore it's not a gender issue". In my opinion, it shows a somewhat idealistic view of the world, as well as a complete misunderstanding of prejudice and thus motivated actions.
If a guy gets beat up on the street for being a "faggot", it doesn't matter that he's actually straight and just "looks" gay. This is still action based on homophobia.
That's the definition of hate crime — it doesn't matter if you actually are a part of the minority or the oppressed group — what matters is the perpetrator's perception of you.
The same thing applies to systemic oppression. I can guarantee you, government officials — as well as people who support them — who are anti-abortion, anti-birth control, etc, don't care that it targets men as well. In fact, they don't see you as a man at all. For them, trans men are just mentally ill women — and their actions have an end goal of controlling women.
So yes, the systemic oppression and mistreatment of people with uteruses is, indeed, a gender issue. Because it doesn't matter who of what you are; only what the system and bigots perceive you as.
This post was made by an ftm nonbinary bitch terfs fuck off
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How is the free speech thing balanced in the US with regard to the law? Does everything fall under this amendment? For instance, in France, antisemitism, denial of the Holocaust or racism are (normally) not counted as opinions but punishable by law. Not as crimes but the infraction level below (it's called délits but I don't know the English equivalent)
It's complicated. The First Amendment guarantees freedom of speech, press, and assembly-- i.e. you have the basic right to speak, write, and protest how you want without government censorship or punishment. If the right wing free-speech champions were genuinely concerned about it in any meaningful way, they would be defending the BLM and abortion-rights protestors, since this is something that actually is guaranteed in the Constitution, but uhhh, yeah, free speech for me and none for thee is their whole philosophy.
What the First Amendment does not do is give you the ability to act like a total dick in public all the time and never suffer consequences. The fact that it has been interpreted as such is another result of the skewed extreme-libertarian philosophy that is likewise popular in the US, where you yourself are the most important person and should be able to do whatever you want all the time. You have every right to yell fire in a crowded theater, but when you are arrested for causing a public panic and/or injuries or a stampede or whatever, the First Amendment is not some magical get-out-of-jail-free card where you can invoke it and then cry about being unfairly persecuted if people are harmed by your conscious decision to be a dick. So hate speech is not necessarily a protected category of speech, and it certainly does not exempt you from consequences enforced on you by other private citizens.
For example, take the recent Alex Jones trial. He is a bloated hatemongering piece of human garbage who, ever since the Sandy Hook school shooting in 2012, has been making up nonstop lies about the event, claiming it was staged and the victims were "crisis actors," it was a plot to take away Americans' guns, encouraging his equally insane followers to harass the grieving families who had just lost their young children, etc. Anyway, understandably, the families finally sued the living shit out of him for defamation and libel, because free speech does not, again, mean you can just make up nonstop bullshit and cause tangible public harm. It's not the government suing Alex Jones for his reprehensible lies, so his whining about how this, you guessed it, "violates his First Amendment rights!!" is an even bigger load of bullshit than usual. The private citizens whose life he deliberately made a living hell are fully entitled to seek recompense for that pain and suffering, and juries in several different states have agreed, awarding them combined damages of over one-billion-with-a-B dollars, while Jones has likewise tried all kinds of shady bullshit to hide his finances and avoid paying up. Because, as noted, he is absolute rancid garbage.
That's why the right wing was screaming bloody murder about the outcome, because if -- gasp -- people can successfully hold them liable for all the awful things they say and do on a daily basis, they might experience, oh no, A Consequence. And since the loss of money and prestige is pretty much the only punishment these shitbirds understand, they don't want it to catch on, and so they holler about First Amendment Infringement as if that means absolutely anything. Because oh boy, there is truly nothing they love more than playing the martyr while continuing to attack everyone else for daring to act as if they have, in fact, the exact same civil rights as them.
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Timothy Francis LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins have had an insurmountable impact on modern Christianity, and some of you aren't ready to have this conversation.
For those who aren't aware, these two men are the authors of the Left Behind series of books, which has 16 books, 5 movies, and a children's book series, that follows a group of people from the Rapture, onto the end of the Tribulation period, where Jesus comes back for a mighty war to wipe out the forces of Satan.
This book series was arguably the next most popular book, next to the Bible, and still is, for many Christians. Enter any thrift shop, and you're guaranteed to find at least a few of these books in the used books section.
These books are essentially AO3 fan-fiction where the authors took vague symbolism from AD 81–96, and applied it to modern geo-politics, and invented a whole storyline to fit the two author's views on things such as Judaism, Catholicism, the United Nations, Liberal Secularism, and other concepts that are either not in the Bible, or are completely different from our modern understanding of it (Judaism has evolved from the times of Jesus for example).
This book series took what was essentially a fringe view from the 1800s, that's not even held by a lot of denominations today, and made it mainstream and easy to market through average level prose.
So, how has one series that is really only known for shitty Nick Cage films, and books that aren't really seen outside of church libraries affected non-Christians globally?
Well, global warming for example. Many, many, people think that because "Jesus is coming back soon" that we don't need to do anything to prevent the destruction of the world we live in, because it's all going to be gone in a few years anyways, so why should I care?
They often cite the book of Genesis, where God pledges to never kill the world again with water, and by their logic, the ice caps can't be melting because God promised to never flood the world again.
Many policy decisions also center around this, such as global support for Israel by Conservative and Liberal (yes, even Liberals, who are often Christian too) parties, as there's this ongoing belief that one must support Israel, as they're a vital part in "End Time's Prophecy", and that any day now, the Anti-Christ will arise in the Middle East, preform miracles, and be declared the Messiah (falsely), which then starts the war of Gog and Magog, with Russia, Syria, and other countries around the globe partaking in it.
Name any modern shitty policy, and it can be traced back to the concept of the Rapture. Abortion? Anti-Trans/Gay laws? Gun control? All of these have links to Pre-Millennial Dispensationalism.
Some scholars have written on this, such as Bart Ehrman when he wrote the book Armageddon, but I have yet to see any scholar write about the more nitty gritty stuff that you see from pastors and random schmucks on YouTube, that I've seen growing up in a family that believes in this stuff.
Hard to believe that a letter written about a conspiracy theory back ~1950 years ago, is being used to backslide human rights and throw gas on the extinction of life on the planet.
Thanks John Nelson Darby!
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Lurien Predicts Deltarune (kind of) (not really)
all of this assuming toby doesn't throw us a complete curveball, which is possible; we only have two chapters thus far and, well. this is toby we're talking about.
however! that being said!
now, i'm not going to touch on topics that have been discussed to death, like the Knight's identity, or what happened to Dess, or what's up with Ralsei, or what the hell Gaster has to do with all of this; not because those topics are not worth discussing, but simply because I do not believe I would have much of anything meaningful to add.
However, I have decided to get up on my soapbox for the moment to explain the direction I feel the story will be going in.
It is, I feel, at this point pretty much universally accepted that Deltarune's "... only 1 ending...?" is not quite what it would seem. We've seen hints of things that, while optional, seem to be building up to something significant; and we've even seen a case of the story splitting as early as chapter two, with the Snowgrave Route/'Weird Route'.
I've seen many people assume that the story will, by Chapter 7, devolve into a fucked-up cosmic horror/meta mess no matter what you do. I believe that is not the case.
There are a few things that people point to as setup for alternate routes or endings--the eggs and the shadow crystals being the most prominent among them, along with the most obvious--that being the already-present Weird Route.
These all have one thing in common--you have to go far out of your way to reach them.
The eggs are hidden in 'rooms between rooms'; rooms that only have a small chance to appear when you attempt to enter a different room. Typically, to reach them you must walk back and forth for quite a while--even though the location where the room can be found is pointed out in Chapter Two, it is easy to just... not find it, or to walk back and forth until eventually you give up. For a player going in blind, this could easily come across as a weird little bit of flavor text that never amounts to anything. Even once you have entered the room, you have the option to decline the Egg; and the game does not tell you exactly what is being offered unless you accept. Declining the Egg forfeits your opportunity, and you cannot enter the room again.
The shadow crystals are obtained by defeating optional secret bosses (each of which thus far has had some distinct connection to the overall narrative [specifically the concept of freedom, which is shaping up to be a major theme in Deltarune], but that has been discussed many, many times). You must go out of your way to find them--even if Spamton is technically a guaranteed encounter, you still have to backtrack to the Trash Zone, and then find the basement, which is a lot of work and fully optional; along with the latter being rather difficult unless you know how to go about it.
I have never even fought Jevil, let alone beaten him, not because I do not want or intend to do so, but simply because I forget, hah. He's even more out-of-the-way than Spamton, being a fully optional encounter that's hidden behind two items which you must search for across the map without practically any hints.
The Weird Route, meanwhile, requires an incredibly specific set of actions to be preformed in order to trigger, and (I believe) can be aborted simply by selecting the wrong dialogue option. You must go out of your way to trigger it, and to run it to completion--you are highly unlikely to do so simply by mistake.
All three have one thing in common: you must go out of your way to reach them. They are (aside from the secret bosses) unlikely to be stumbled upon simply by mistake. It is very, very easy to continue the story having seen only hints of them, and it is very easy to do so accidentally.
The secret bosses, specifically, are very important to the game's themes and narrative thus far, but are... well, they're called secret bosses for a reason.
This leads me to believe that it will be possible--even easy--to complete Deltarune's story while seeing only hints of what lies beneath. That most casual players, or players going in blind who don't know about these kinds of secrets, will likely do so.
There will be a full story and ending that plays the game 'straight'. You will save the world, defeat the Knight, et cetera. The story will be narratively satisfying, the ending will be happy enough, perhaps changing slightly depending on your actions throughout the run.
And throughout this run, yes, your choices will not matter. It will not matter if you defeated some (but not all) secret bosses, if you chose to explore the implications of it all but didn't quite manage to see it through, if you started a Weird Route but abandoned it--it will all lead to the same ending.
However, it will leave many loose ends untied, many implications and hints of something deeper unaddressed. Why does Kris rip out their soul? What was up with that weird guy I briefly spoke to that one time? Who is this Dess figure I keep hearing mentioned? What the hell was that opening character creator?
Perhaps, as such, it will leave the player with a sense of unease, a sense that there's something they missed, something they aren't seeing.
Because there is.
And in this, your choices do matter. Every littlest one, because you must choose to see beyond the story; you must go out of your way to find the deeper narrative. You must make your choice, and you must see it through to its conclusion, because the smallest falter could cost you your ending.
You can defeat all the secret bosses, you can collect all the eggs, you can continue what you started in the Weird Route. All this, and you will find what the story has been so deeply hinting at. This is what leads to the meta cosmic horror nonsense (said, of course, affectionately). This is the story, the real story, the 'true ending', as it were--although there will not be any one 'true ending', I know that the fandom just has to pick one to refer to as such, and I know it will be one of these.
Personally, I believe that they will likely be less 'happy' than the main ending to varying extents, but they will be more satisfying, more complete, more final; breaking out of one's strings, breaking out of the illusion of this world, understanding the horror behind the scenes (and perhaps ending it for good).
Now, I don't know quite how these endings will play out, or which ending will be collectively agreed on as the 'true' one--I'm autistic, not a psychic, hah.
However, I fully, wholeheartedly believe that struggling against the story will be a theme in Deltarune, and I fully believe that it will be require a constant effort from the beginning to the end. It will not be as easy as, oh just play through the game and it will happen.
Because nothing connected to these themes has been like that thus far.
#WHOO that was a long one. thank you for coming to my ted talk etc etc#spire rambles#utdr#deltarune#long post#my analysis#originally this had a sentence at the top going 'this isn't going to be a very in-depth post'. deleted it because. well.#but it was kind of funny to me. Does He Know?
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So I have this headcanon for how the whole Mizuki’s siblings thing that happened in nirvana initiative, is this headcanon filled with plot holes? Probably yes, I last played the games more or less a year ago, so somethings here could be disproven by some detail I forgot about, that being said this is still just my headcanon, so I’m not too worried about that.
Also, Spoilers for AI The somnium files and AI The somnium files nirvana initiative
One of the many things that made me do a double take while playing nirvana initiative is the fact that Mizuki was not Shoko and Renju’s biological child, and was in fact adopted.
You know, the same Shoko that in the first game hated having a kid and felt stuck with Mizuki, and the same Renju that saw the abuse that his daughter was going through and decided to do nothing because he was busy.
Why the fuck would they adopt someone???
You can say they did it because of appearances or something else, but for me, it’s pretty clear that neither of them would want a kid. The first game made it seem that Mizuki was an accident, maybe even an unwanted pregnancy, that they decided to go through with.
Did Renju convinced Shoko not to get an abortion? Did they decide it was best to keep the pregnancy because of appearances? I don't know, but that was the vibe I had for their situation in the first game.
But then nirvana initiative happened and turn everything on its head. Now there is Bibi, and as much as I love her she doesn’t make sense, if she and Mizuki are science babies why do they look so much like Shoko???
I know this was a retcon, but that’s just looking at things at a meta perspective, I want an in story reason for it, so here is where my headcanon comes in.
Shoko had some connection with the Horadori institute, maybe even with the order of %
We don’t know much about Shoko’s past, just that her childhood has rough, that her mother treated her more like an animal than a kid, and that she was really ambitious. One of the thing she resents Mizuki for is that because of her, Shoko had to leave behind her career accomplishments.
Just to be clear, I don’t think Shoko was a member of the order of %. Maybe someone in her family was, and Chikara got to know her through them or something, but if not that, then she got in his radar by other means.
What I’m trying to say is, what if Chikara came to Shoko with an offer, be the surrogate mother for his experiment and he can make sure her business succeeds.
You could probably make a point that Bibi and Mizuki were lab raised babies. That the technology we see in the aitsf word could be able to do that, but what fun would that be?
So, young Shoko accepts the offer, makes an excuse to disappear for nine months and at the end of that Chikara has his supper baby and Shoko has her career guaranteed.
After a time Shoko and Renju get married and Chikara comes to the realization that his first super baby had some major flaws and wants to make baby 2.0.
Now, I don’t think Shoko would be too happy to do this process all over again, her business is going great and Renju is in the picture now, she can’t disappear for nine months without people getting suspicious, but Chikara gets her to agree, either by other offer being made or because of blackmail.
Their plan was the same, Shoko would “travel abroad” for some time, and when the baby was born she would be left alone, but this time things didn’t work out, Renju discovered the pregnancy and came to the conclusion that the baby was his.
This was a big problem, Shoko would probably want to stage a miscarriage, but I don’t think Chikara would let her, he would oppose any schemes that might put his new and improved super baby at risk, so they just went along with it. Renju was never around long enough to discover what was really happening either way, they would just have to make some adjustments, maybe fake the baby’s death in the future so Shoko could be free again.
Some sort of arrangement was made, Shoko would leave the baby in the institute and from time to time would take her home to continue the ruse to Renju. While in Chikara’s hands, Mizuki would be taken back and forth between the institute for tests and the orphanage to be look after while she was not needed. That's why everyone there thought that she was also an orphan.
Eventually things blew up with the institute, Chikara left the scene, leaving Shoko stuck with an unwanted kid.
Because of the lie they told the orphanage, Shoko had to tie some loose ends, like pretending to adopt your own daughter and other paperwork nonsense (maybe this was her first contact with the Kumakura’s? I don’t remember if that existed before the body change thing or not but making a deal with the mafia to make sure she wouldn’t go down with the institute would make sense).
And there you have it! Is it convoluted? Yes, but what in this game series is not?
This is probably so far from what Uchikoshi wanted, but if he can poke holes in the story so can I
Does it make sense? What do you guys think?
#ai the somnium files spoilers#ai the somnium files#aitsf#aini spoilers#ai nirvana initiative#nirvana initiative#shoko nadami#renju okiura#mizuki okiura#chikara horadori#mizuki date#mizuki kuranushi#bibi aitsf#this is just a headcanon#it's probably super wrong#but I think it's a fun one#It at least makes sense in my head#sorry for the ramble
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Thess vs Defining Terrorism
The UK has this thing called Prevent, which is a bit of guidance that's supposed to stop terrorist activity by recognising it before it comes to violence and also stopping the kind of radicalisation that can lead to terrorist activity. Thus far we've mainly had "Muslim" and "extreme right-wing" as dog-whistles. But the government keeps adding to it when they feel it necessary.
They added to it recently.
"Anti-abortion" is one, which I do understand because we've seen the BS that happens around Planned Parenthood clinics in the US.
But then there's "socialism" and "anti-fascism". Listed as the kind of radicalisation that leads to potential terrorism.
So if people start talking about socialism and anti-fascism in response to shit that the government is doing - you know, when the government does things like abetting and encouraging capitalism basically killing the majority of us, or stripping away what's left of our social safety nets, or restricting our right to protest in new and horrible ways that violate our human rights - they could be labelled as radicals and potential terrorists.
It feels like the Tories have conveniently redefined terrorism to mean "just about anything we don't like or that might hurt us in some way". And what are the bets that those definitions will not be revised when (and honestly, I'm assuming it's "when") Labour get into power?
So that on top of the whole deal where the Tories are basically combining lining their pockets (or the pockets of their friends and donors) with the public's money with poisoning the well so badly that Labour will never be able to fix the mess they've made and look unpopular doing it (to guarantee re-election in five years), plus everything else? Wooow this fucking country is a meeeeess.
Right. Video games. Where I at least get to stab the bad guys with sharp and pointy when they try to crush people under their collective bootheel.
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No other episode is guaranteed to make me ugly sob within seconds than brian's father's death. god, i relate to it and brian so fucking much and gale's performance throughout and at the end always, always breaks me in half. The thing that pisses me off is people's reactions to children of abusive parents. You see it in the episode and in life in general wherein you're almost guaranteed to hear a version of "I'm sure they loved you in their own way/they didn't know how to show it/they had a bad childhood themselves/how the child should be the bigger person and forgive them/the classic, but! they! were! still! your! mother/father!"
As if just because you were born through no choice of your own that you end up owing them, you have to constantly forgive and forget, having to be the parental figure over and over and it fucking sucks.
What I appreciate about this episode is the writers actually show the two sides to the reality of being that child. It feels so human and relatable and I'm not just watching another episode of my favourite show, but I can look at it and say fuck, that's me I have felt that. On the one hand, you have people like Michael and Justin who comment regardless of what Brian's father did and how he treated him he was still his dad and it trumped any feelings of hurt Brian had over it. The simple "blood is thicker than water" ideology that as his father it gave him the power to be respected and Brian should wave away any wrong he did. How quickly people want to brush off any feelings of ill will when a person dies, how they become immortalised as someone who never did a thing wrong. How quick they forget.
We see versions of this in relation to Brian in the show and I hate it. For example when Brian first finds out that his father is sick and Debbie encourages him to tell him he's gay, more or less putting the burden on Brian and insinuating he owed his dad this part of himself (what the fuck!) and what happens? His father says he wishes Brian was the one who was dying. When his mother finds out he's gay and he's putting on a front at Woody's telling the guys how she was horrified by it and him but he doesn't care, fuck her. Michael pipes up saying that maybe she will come around in time, as if anytime Brian expressed hurt and anger towards his abusers they could never just accept it and let him have those feelings it always had to be countered in some way. I guess some part of it is when you come from a loving home either as the child or parent it's very difficult to understand the inner workings of the life of abusive parents and the impact on their kids. Not forgetting Debbie taking it upon herself to tell Joan that Brian had cancer!!!
I love that they didn't shy away from the other side, the side that's not deemed as maybe socially correct and you should keep that stuff behind closed doors. But I completely sympathise, agree and relate to Brian's behaviour how he refused to bow down to everyone's expectations of how he should grieve because they felt he wasn't doing it the right way. Michael deducing that just because Claire was sobbing like a demented banshee that meant she was obviously feeling it so much worse than Brian who hadn't shed a tear. In reality Brian told him that his father hated her. Yet Brian who was openly abused by them, always tried hard to be respectful and show care for them both in spite of what they did, which again is so relatable as a child of that.
I cheered him getting to tell the story of how his dad wanted him aborted, how he continued to go to Babylon and fuck around, that was his grieving process it might not have been what Michael thought was right and proper but it was his way.
The poignancy of him getting a do over of the joy of hitting a strike with Michael as kids, now as an adult and giving zero fucks and getting the celebration he was robbed of! The haunting finale with the bowling ball down the alley, the sombre so long Jack, and then finally on his terms releasing some of the burden, letting the tears flow.
Special mention to my two favourite lines of dialogue in the episode - "If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead" and "Can you imagine growing up in that house, how did he ever survive? Who's to say he did?"
#britin#queer as folk#1x19#the feelings this episode elicits from me#this is kind of me venting about my own abusive parents#but the relatability factor and realness of brian representing a child coming from that kind of abuse is so frighteningly real#i so very rarely watch this episode because i feel it so much#soph writes meta#brian kinney#gale harold
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A reminder that the US faces a tragic and Orwellian reality, where women are not allowed to make the best medical decisions about their own bodies and lives.
Stories from women who have suffered under these barbaric laws below the cut.
On July 10, 2022, Yeniifer (Yeni) Alvarez-Estrada Glick died along with her unborn child due to pregnancy complications. She was not informed of the dangers of her high-risk pregnancy, and abortion or early delivery was not given as a life-saving option for her.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/01/15/abortion-high-risk-pregnancy-yeni-glick
On August 9, 2023, Miranda Langley gave birth to fatally conjoined twins who died briefly after. While she survived, she had to have a c-section to remove them, an invasive abdominal surgery. In Texas, she could not have had an abortion, even though the twin’s death was guaranteed. Pregnancy never comes without risk, especially in abnormal pregnancies where the regular procedures and body’s functions are disrupted.
In July, 2023, three women testified about their heartbreaking experiences of nonviable pregnancies and the inaccessibility of abortion. One, a woman who, despite being told ‘miscarriage was an inevitability’, went into septic shock delivering her dead baby. Another, a woman whose baby did not develop a brain stem, but was forced to carry her to term. The final one, a mother carrying twins, one of whom was nonviable, putting her and the other unborn child at risk. Despite this, Texas blocked her abortion. She was able to scramble and make it to Colorado, where a simple short procedure ensured that her other twin was delivered healthily. The lawsuit failed on the grounds that it was in the past, caused by the doctors, and the Center for Reproductive Rights said: “It begs the question: Does the state think that the only person who would have standing to challenge an abortion law is a woman who comes to court with amniotic fluid or blood dripping down her leg?”
Kate Cox also received tragic news of her fetus’s nonviability. As she was actively pregnant, she contacted the Center for Reproductive rights. Their lawyers went to work and got an order that would have allowed her to terminate this dangerous pregnancy. However, misogynist dictator Attorney General Ken Paxton “channeled the full power of the state to stop her, threatening hospitals, appealing to the state’s highest court and ultimately getting the order blocked.”
She was able to leave the state to receive the termination and proper healthcare, in part thanks to the support and national attention the case had drawn.
Why did Ken Paxton think he knows better than judges and doctors and the mother herself? Why are these men so hell-bent on strong-arming forced births? Well, as Dr. Jones says,
youtube
“It’s not about life. It’s about control.”
As she also points out, without universal healthcare, not only are women being forced to give birth or undergo surgery for these fetuses, they also have to pay for the costs.
How close must a woman be to death before a doctor can save her? How deep and devastating does the wounds from the pregnancy need to be before she can receive help? WHY are the decisions about this being made by those with no knowledge of pregnancy and all its complex factors? It is outrageous, plain and simple. It is misogyny, controlling women and their bodies and forcing them to risk their lives and health.
I encourage you to read all the linked articles in their totality. They are heartbreaking and the suffering these women faced didn’t need to happen. Never forget that this is not normal. Encourage all your friends and family to advocate for reproductive healthcare.
#pro choice#feminism#medical misogyny#misogyny#abortion#healthcare#reproductive rights#reproductive health#Youtube
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