#i have decided to become the unreliable narrator
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Ansur and The Emperor
I need to share my thoughts on the worst-of-all takes from this fandom regarding the Emperor
I remember texting my brother once I completed the Emperor’s quest, learning that he was once Balduran and the love of his life Ansur attempted to murder him. I felt heartbroken reading the final letter he gave to Ansur telling him to fly away and be free of the torment of trying to find a cure. My brother told me this was the quest that made him decide to side with the Emperor in the end. There was such tragedy and loneliness to the Emperor’s story. First, there was the tragedy of Belynne’s condition and death, a condition I believe he’s either partially or largely responsible for, and then the tragedy of being turned on by the one person he loved and who was the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
You can then imagine my absolute shock to find so many players repeating over and over the outrage that the Emperor murdered his best friend, that he “chose” to become an illithid by choosing to live, that they (the player) would have sided with Ansur if they could, that this was the moment they decided to betray the Emperor, and (my favorite) he should have let Ansur kill him.
I’m hardly the first and only person to remind everyone that Ansur takes over your body against your will, he admits to trying to bring the Emperor a “merciful death” but the Emperor “chose to fight,” that Ansur doesn’t care why you sought him out, that he wrongfully calls you a thrall, and that moments after meeting him we are forced to kill him out of self-defense in much the same way the Emperor had to.
HOW do so many players misinterpret this scene so badly? How do so many players get basic facts wrong and frame this like it was a straight up murder and not self-defense? And, how do so many players take from this scene the belief that “the Emperor should have let Ansur kill him?”
This post is not me saying that you have to like the Emperor. Liking a character is purely personal, but I genuinely take issue with so, so many players seemingly unable or unwilling to engage with a text in a meaningful way and perpetuating this worst-of-all takes that the Emperor should have accepted death at the hands of his lover because of who he was without any further thought as to the implications of what they’re saying. This comes from the same fandom who absolutely loves Omeluum who also needs to kill people in order to feed and survive.
Something to consider with monsters in fiction, particularly modern fiction, is that monsters represent something about the anxieties and fears of the audience, but monsters are often, in the same text, meant to challenge our prejudices and fears, and invite us to see their humanity. That is: to see ourselves in them. This can be difficult with a character like the Emperor because he’s an unreliable narrator and his morality is messy, but his motivations are understandable, sympathetic, and his needs are quite human. The Emperor does represent our fears of losing our humanity, of losing ourselves, and the body horror of being transformed against our will is an extension of that. But we are also invited to see ourselves in him. That is: to see his humanity.
Others have already pointed out that the Emperor mirrors the player. If you dehumanize him, he dehumanizes you. If you empathize with him, he is kind back to you. But even if you’re kind to him, so often through the game you’re unsure what to think of the Emperor; you’re unsure of his sincerity, and you don’t necessarily know the extent of his manipulations, or how truthful he’s being. I think that’s what makes this scene with him and Ansur so interesting and so humanizing: there’s no mirroring going on, and there are no little bread crumbs of his life you’re trying to piece together. You’re just a witness to his tragic story of his greatest betrayal and loss. I found it heartbreaking, and I was surprised to find that for so many others all this scene did was solidify their belief that the Emperor is nothing more than a monster.
Edit: Rewrote a sentence since it didn’t say what I meant it to say.
#the emperor#the emperor bg3#bg3#ansur#rant post#I’m writing this while very tired so forgive my sentence structure#baldurs gate 3
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Co-workers.
Top Male! Reader x Sub! Scara
Unreliable Narrator/Outsider's perspective, original female character, and male reader.
Cw: bottom scara & slight nsfw.
M/n and Scaramouche were polar opposites, nothing of them matches up but they did have one thing in common; Wanting to become the Employee of the year.
M/n was a bright handsome young man, always loyal and obedient (or so their boss thought), almost never missing a day at work. He was loud but generous, a fun guy to hang out but he could also have a serious side to him.
Meanwhile, Scara was a rather cold but pretty man, a quite intimidating figure in the office. Though he holds no authority of a higher figure, his face and cold tone was intimidating enough for anyone to look away, afraid to make him angry.
The only way they would "interact" was through their rivalry. Insane, right? That's what Celine thought when she first entered their department.
It really was a tiring job, not only did she do overtime often but she has to do it with those 2, making it even more struggling and painful.
She really wishes she could've been put in another department, to do overtime in peace at least.
She was tired and absolutely annoyed at both of them in the first year of her job but as another year passed by, she got used to it.
But it didn't mean that she didn't get tired of listening to their bickering, it could lead to “physical” fights if they go far enough which she herself had to stop..
She was just like their nanny, an underpaid one to be exact.
For those who are asking: No, the HR doesn't know a thing about this since they always fought at places where the security cameras couldn't see.
And none of the other employees decided to snitch on them— Let's just say that they were too afraid.
The amount of stress she gained was abnormal from just listening to them bickering!
She should get paid for doing such a job so torturous.
.
.
.
Celine was just doing some work peacefully, writing documents and other things an average worker with a minimum wage salary would do. Well, her peaceful and quiet atmosphere was short-lived when she suddenly heard a loud crash in the Janitor's closet.
Ah, fuck, they're at it again.
Celine walked towards the Janitor's closet and she was right— Inside, there was M/n on top of Scara, their clothes were slightly messy.
God, when will they ever stop fighting?
Celine just sighed, “What are you both doing? You should be doing your work, not fight. Stand up” Celine commanded, her voice sounded threatening but there was barely any intimidation in her voice.
As they both stood up, she saw red-blue marks on their skins.
Damn, how far did those bastards go? Celine was confused, they would always fight “Physically” but they were never badly injured.
As she was still rambling inside her head, M/n talked first.
“He started it first.”
The accusation made Scara's eyes widened as he yelled.
“WHAT!? NO I DIDN'T!” Scara responds with a loud yell, which made M/n smirk. “Yes you did, you dragged me here first, no?” He said calmly, meanwhile, Scara looked so angry and red— red from embarrassment, maybe.
Scara tries to respond back but he stays silent, he just walked right out of the Janitor's Closet with his ears and cheeks painted a light red.
He must've been embarrassed.
As Celine watched Scara walk out, M/n suddenly whispers; “Don't tell the HR or anyone about this, it was just a friendly fight, no worries.” M/n whispered but a small smirk was visible on his face as he too went out of the closet.
Well, AT LEAST M/n was slightly better than Scara in terms of personality.
Though, she often questions if their dynamic was healthy or not— They get into physical fights often, isn't that too extreme?
She lets out an exaggerated sigh as she too left the Janitor's closet to resume her work—
She wonders if they truly hate each other.
“Celine, they're fighting again...” Her colleague pointed out, it was in the middle of the day, it was only 1pm and this was the 3rd time today! Not to mention it was a goddamn Monday! Could her day just get any worse?
“I know, just let them be” She responds calmly, too tired of their bullshit as she continues writing a document.
“M/n is dragging scara somewhere—”
A slam could be heard from Celine's table as Celine immediately walked over to them, grabbing Scara's arm to pull him back.
“You will NOT fight in this office, fight elsewhere.” Celine said to M/n as she dragged Scara from M/n's grasp and dragged him back to his chair.
“Work, don't fight, this is an office.” Celine said as she left both Scara and M/n stunned.
“We're not fighting! I just wanted to talk to him privately—”
“Is it work related?”
That seemed to stun M/n as he went quiet.
“No...It isn't.” M/n says truthfully, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Find an appropriate time to do it, then. Office hours aren't supposed to be time for you both to start a petty fight” Celine was getting more and more tired of them, she was hoping this was the last time they'll fight for such petty reasons.
“Right, sorry..I won't do it again” M/n apologizes as Celine nods. “You too, Scara.” She also told him, Scara just silently nodded she finally went back to her seat in peace.
Hopefully this will be the last time they fight.
A few weeks have passed since then and one day, M/n didn't come to work which was unusual since he never missed any days of work. But the more unusual thing is that Scara didn't come to work either— This should've been an advantage for Scara but apparently, he too didn't come to work.
“Weird” Celine thought to herself, maybe it was just a simple coincidence.
Well, atleast she would have some peace for a day.
No, it was just a coincidence.
Every goddamn time one of them gets sick, the other doesn't come to work either.
It can't just be a mere coincidence, right?
Curiosity killed the cat as Celine finally decided to ask both of them why they don't come to work when the other was sick.
And all they answered was;
“I want to make the rivalry fair”
That didn't stop her curiousity at all!
It seems out of character for those two bastards who literally fight every goddamn time they even lay their eyes on each other.
But hey, at least Celine has the peace she always longed for on those days.
It was just a normal Friday night for Celine, overtime in the office again, stuck with those two bastards and some other colleagues which Celine thanked God for.
The good thing is she gets paid for this shit, which is a good thing but she secretly wishes for more pay— A fee for taking care of those delinquents who kept trying to bite into each other's necks.
It was always; “He started it first!” this or “He doesn't deserve to be employee of the year!” that, well turns out none of them were employee of the year, Celine was.
At least her efforts paid off but it was a headache of trying to comfort an upset M/n and an annoyed Scara...God, those two were like the Sun and the moon.
As Celine was rambling inside of her head, she didn't notice how the sky became darker. She glanced at the office computer and saw how it was already time for her to leave, she looked at the left and right sides of her to notice how both Scara and M/n were both gone.
Oh no, those fuckers were probably at it again.
She hurriedly tries to look for them in every nook and cranny, she couldn't find anyone to help her as she realized her other colleagues had already left as she panicked.
They could be in a massive fight, oh god. What if they try to kill each other and one of them tries to kill her too???
All those negative thoughts were making Celine's head spin, but she still tried to look for them despite her fear of possibly getting killed by one of those psychos.
She searched and searched and finally— She stood in front of the Men's bathroom, there's no way she's going to do this right? Celine was reconsidering her decision, will it be like those true crime documentaries where she'll get brutally killed in the bathroom!? This was the men's bathroom, what if someone saw her and thought she was a huge ass pervert?
All those thoughts kept running throughout her head, but she stopped to listen into the bathroom as she heard a...whimper?
There was definitely someone there.
She placed her ear next to the door, trying to hear what was happening inside.
She heard...sounds of pain? Moans? Groans?
Then, she heard a voice like Scara screaming and begging to do whatever the other person was doing to him.
“M/n..! S-stopngh—”
Oh my fucking God.
M/N WAS A MURDERER.
What if she barges in and gets killed too in the process?
What if M/n found out she was eavesdropping and was brutally murdered?
What if..
What if!?
All of those “What if” questions kept repeating inside of her head as if she was back in 5th grade studying about WH-Questions.
God, she didn't like Scara but she didn't want him dead...
There's no other choice but to barge in.
As Celine starts to bang on the door, trying to communicate with Scara by screaming— She stopped when M/n finally opened the door and to her surprise; He wasn't covered in blood, rather, he was covered in sweat and some sort of...liquid? Not to mention, his clothes were messy like it had just been put on.
Did...did she misunderstand the situation?
She was speechless and embarrassed, as M/n suddenly coughs and talks.
“Hey um..do you mind leaving us alone? I..I promise you I'm not a murderer”
That's something a murderer would say!
“And why should I?” Celine responds back, leaving M/n sweating nervously. He stepped aside to show a somewhat perfectly fine Scara but he too was drenched in sweat, his clothes were a mess though.
“Oh...”
Did Celine interrupt something?
“Y-yeah uh...Please leave us alone...I want to talk to him privately”
Oh...
“Yeah...uhm, sure. Sorry.” Celine apologized as she quickly took her leave in embarrassment, so she misunderstood everything!?
They looked like a mess, and they were drenched in sweat. Were they exercising?
What the hell were they doing in there?
All those thoughts were repeating again and again as she quickly packed up her bag and turned off the office lights.
As she passed the same men's Bathroom, she could've sworn she heard a loud moan.
She doesn't want to know what they're doing.
#sub character#top male reader#dom reader#genshin impact#genshin fanfic#drabbles#shorts#sub scaramouche#bottom scaramouche
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last twilight episode 6 thoughts, feelings, etc.
it's that time again and i've decided to be very extra for this episode because, well, it deserves it. what a ride that was. fair warning i was feeling fucking romantic and wistful for this.
we have August showing up, trying to integrate himself into their daily routine, and then disrupting that routine entirely. and when he suggests running with Day Mhok seems defensive, jealous and probably concerned that August has seemed unreliable before - and currently is operating with more information than Day, leaving them on unequal footing. August knows about Day's feelings for him, but Day has no idea August knows, and that's not really fair. but Mhok doesn't want to say anything because maybe, just maybe, August could make Day happy. maybe Day could finally get what he wants for the first time in a long while.
so Mhok watches. because Mhok will never put himself first, it's not who he is.
Day clings to these broken and battered shoes, a connection to a past life he thought he had to leave behind. he clings to familiarity and comfort. all things Mhok has become to him.
and so maybe Mhok sees himself in these battered, rough around the edges shoes. maybe Mhok believes he can be fixed, just like the splitting sole. maybe Day is fixing him every day, not in a stupid fucking 'he saved me' bullshit like the crying guy at the interview, but in a genuine, he's changed my outlook on life, my perspective, my everything, and made me a better person. maybe these scuffed shoes can be better if someone helps them.
and so he fixes the shoes, just as he's been fixing himself ever since he walked through Day's front door, and he gives Day the sunflower he couldn't give him before. Day asks him what it is but again Mhok doesn't have the heart to say. he doesn't elaborate, doesn't explain, only moves past the moment because this isn't for him, isn't about him, this is about Day reclaiming something he thought he lost.
How can I throw them away? I love them so much.
Maybe if he loves these broken and scuffed shoes he could love me too.
and here's where we have a story narrating for us again, my absolute favorite thing about this entire series. i love the narration from the books they read - and i love that the boys are both simultaneously the character represented. the words always have a way of applying to both of them and it's fucking gorgeous.
and with this narration we've been so seamlessly slotted into Mhok's POV. everything up until now has focused pretty strongly on Day's struggles and adjustments, we've seen everything from the lens of Day and what he's facing, but suddenly we're so perfectly slotted into Mhok's body, something we haven't focused too hard on yet. sure, we've seen his pain and his grief, but we're seeing so much more now, so many little intricacies and inner thoughts. i absolutely love how this was done.
Do you think I fell in love with him without realizing it?
and as he has this love blooming in his chest, this realization of the magnitude of his feelings - that he doesn't just want Day to be happy but wants to be the source of that happiness - Mhok begins to become invisible again. it's a place he's familiar with and it doesn't come as a surprise. just with a mournful resignation. this is how it always is, and how it was always going to be.
and just like with Porjai he decides to step back. it's worth it as long as the people he loves are happy; even if that means he's not by their side.
like the scuffed shoes, Mhok is replaced with something better. Day put in his eye drops and no longer looks to Mhok but to August instead.
and as Mee and Day's fear grows smaller Mhok's grows larger. the fear of being left behind and the fear of being forgotten. the fear that Day no longer needs him, will no longer look to him for help or seek him out. the fear that he's lost his place as Day's friend, slid back into the role of only a caretaker, and perhaps even further back still into a stranger.
Mhok's shirt reads: IF LOST, DROP IN ANY MAILBOX. Return Postage Guaranteed.
because Mhok is lost. he doesn't know where he stands anymore, where he fits into Day's life. but he knows he'll always return to Day's side for as long as he needs him.
the scuffed shoes are left on the shelf, just as Mhok has tucked away his feelings for Day. they'll always be there, familiar and reliable, and maybe someday Day will need them again. maybe someday.
and then we learn that Night smokes, and maybe Day never hated the smell of cigarettes.
I think his voice is like the scent of cigarettes.
maybe Day just hated the way the smell reminded him of Night.
and we learn Day had fully resigned himself to spending his birthday alone.
his mother would be out of town, spending it with Night is out of the question, August has practice, and it's Mhok's day off. as if Mhok would rather be anywhere else. Day is used to not being a priority.
as Day peers at Mhok's chest maybe it feels like he can see into him. Mhok has always felt invisible, but somehow Day saw him in spite of all of that. maybe he wonders if Day can see into his chest, see that his heart is made of sunflowers, tucked away and kept in secret as to not inconvenience Day. and maybe Mhok wonders: can you see them? can you see the way they bloom and turn towards your light?
and for a moment Mhok is weak. he takes Day's hand and places it back on his chest as if to say: my heart is here and it belongs to you, can't you feel it?
and here is where i will begin to cry and not stop crying until the end of the episode - so if you're crying don't worry, i'm here with you.
because Day sprays Mhok with Tiwa cologne. fucking Tiwa cologne.
Tiwa means day time. the cologne was created to mimic the atmosphere of the Thai countryside during the day.
suddenly, Mhok is bathed in the scent of Day. both the concept and the man.
it's Day's favorite scent.
It smells both like toughness and aggression.
At first, you want to flee from it.
But after you scent it for a while, it makes you feel warm.
and Mhok's face falls at first because is that how Day sees him? he thought Day saw him, he thought Day understood that he's not all the things people say he is and - oh.
oh.
you can see the palpable relief across Mhok's face because Day does see him, does understand him.
(the cologne also shows us once again Day's privilege. Tiwa costs $140 a bottle, or ฿4884)
again Day asks what Mhok is going to this dinner as, and then asks why Mhok is so secretive.
and maybe for a moment, for just those fleeting few minutes they spent getting ready together, Mhok was able to pretend this was real. he was able to pretend Day was going to dinner with him, would stay by his side and enjoy his birthday with him, create new memories with him.
but that's not for him. it's just another sunflower he tucks away in his chest.
they arrive at the party and there's no place for Mhok; not at Day's side, not at the table, not anywhere. he's never acknowledged again by anyone there, no one offers him a spot because he's an outsider, this place isn't for him. when the sun no longer shines on Mhok he is invisible once again.
suddenly, Mhok is back in his own fish tank - because it's not only Little Day that freed himself of the cloying miasma of his environment but Big Mhok had as well. his tank was clean, he could breathe and see clearly again.
but now he's back there, as smoke fills his lungs and regret tastes like ash on his tongue. he can't smell the jasmine blooms anymore.
Day still looks for him, still seeks him out because Mhok has always stayed, has always been around even when Day didn't know he needed him. Mhok's been there at every step of this journey and now suddenly Day is adrift on his own. what do you do when the person that has always been there is suddenly gone?
it probably feels as if Day has been robbed of yet another one of his senses.
and we see Day get overwhelmed again, the narrative has shifted away from Mhok now and we're nestled back in Day's body where things are so loud and so much, too much, and he doesn't have the one person he can find comfort in there. everyone is trying too hard, treating him like glass, and he's still a fucking human being, he's still an adult man, he's not a fucking child -
and so he escapes. he finds a moment of peace and collects himself. he hears someone approach and who else could it be but Mhok? it's always Mhok, it's always been Mhok.
but Mhok's not here.
August is.
and suddenly August is kissing him but it's not right, it doesn't feel like he thought it would, and maybe he realizes he liked the idea of August more than August himself. maybe he clung to memories made fond and soft with time.
because this? this is not the kiss of a man full of hope and love. if Bad Buddy taught me anything, this is a kiss goodbye.
the hero is coming and it's time for the villain to go.
Mhok knows better than anyone that the one thing Day doesn't want from anyone, the one thing he fears the most in all of this, is receiving pity. he's never wanted to be pitied for any of this, but August has just pitied him in the worst possible way. and of course Mhok is here to see it.
of course Mhok would come back, now of all times.
and we see Mhok speak in a way we haven't before. his rage becomes incandescent, beyond the limits of just shouting, and it's the quiet of his rage that becomes far more terrifying. it's the quiet calm before the storm. Day has never seen Mhok enraged, not really, he's never been there when Mhok has hit someone, but he must hear the control slipping from Mhok's voice.
because August held everything Mhok had ever wanted in his hands and played with it, pitied it, and tossed it away. how can he be anything but full of bitter fury?
but as Day holds Mhok's hand he stops. he reluctantly releases his hold and curls his fingers around Day's hand. he'd do anything for Day, now more than ever.
Mhok speaks softly to Day and holds him close, the hug as much for Day as it is for him. they're both broken, both trying to hold on to the withered petals of their hearts. if they hold on tight enough maybe they can hold each other together.
and now we're to my absolute favorite recurring thing Mhok does.
Mhok takes Day away, he doesn't let him retreat into that tiny fish tank. Mhok brings Day out into the world, to breathe the fresh air.
and each time he's brought Day somewhere he can enjoy without his sight - yes, even this rooftop.
on the porch, Day could smell the jasmine blossoms.
Day could smell the flowers at the market, was surrounded by their scent.
now he's bathed in the light of the rising sun, in the warmth it has to offer.
the world feels different in the early hours of the morning. the air is a little colder, a little thinner, everything is more quiet and subdued. you can feel the sun start to thaw out the Earth, can feel as it glides over your face and warms your cheeks.
this place is special to Mhok, a small sanctuary he's tucked away for himself, and now he's sharing it - and a shard of his past - with Day. in exchange, Day opens up. he explains that no one really liked him before, that each person (Gee not withstanding) at that party pitied him and were only there as some sort of act of charity.
I'm just so damn lucky to be blind.
because people are looking at him now, right? he has everyone's attention now. he got to kiss his crush. people would fall at his feet to help him.
but it's all wrong, tainted with pity and charity. he has their pity but not their affection.
Is there anyone else in this world who doesn't feel pity for me?
Do you still think I feel pity for you? Mhok asks after kissing Day in the light of the rising sun, because Mhok has never pitied Day, not for a single moment in time. it's not pity that he feels housed in his chest but love, overwhelming and all consuming.
just as the moon represented the hearts of Moonlight Chicken so does the sun represent the hearts of Last Twilight. this is the dawn of something new for both of them, fragile but hopeful.
I'M JUST FEELING SO FUCKING MUCH. do you think p'aof will be my best friend? if you've read this far i'm smooching you and also here's a dumb little surprise.
tag loves: @benkaaoi @callipigio @lookwhatihave
#bunn meta#ltts meta#last twilight#last twilight the series#mhokday#this took me 3 hours to put together#what am i doing with my life
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No Conviction - Ser Criston Cole x Aegon II
For the mother of our brainchild, SMOOCHIELINI @aemondsbabe
Rating: Explicit
Tags: TW//Degradation, Criston is taking out his frustrations and prior guilt, fat shaming, dub-con, Criston is mean, unreliable narrator, manipulation. Angst, M/M, rare pair, Bondage (light), anal fingering, dildo use, there is prep!, bratting, feminization, Aegon’s a slut at the end of the day, Criss priss takes the idea of an order and skews it, chubby!Aegon, prostate orgasm, nipple play
A/N: THIS IS NASTY DIRTY we will be back to our usual content soon, I put the usual taglist but heed the pairing!
Taglist: @arcielee @fallingintoyourlilaceyes @valeskafics @lovelykhaleesiii @fairysluna @starogeorgina @targaryen-madness @sugarpoppss2 @aemonds-holy-milk @dr-aegon
Ao3: Updated later
Alicent’s big doe eyes were watery, her hair wild. She seemed to become increasingly fraught by the day— it pained Ser Criston to know why she was so wracked with nerves. They both were aware of the plans for the future. Very big plans as Viserys continued to decay. He noted the Queen’s nails were bleeding again.
Criston grabbed her shaking palms, soothing her with a murmur, “My Queen, breathe, what is the issue?”
The Knight was grateful he had gloves on or Alicent’s ripped nails might have drawn blood. The redhead took a deep inhale and exhaled. She begged him, a frantic edge to her tone, “Aegon. He’s uncontrollable. I don’t know what to do. He brought whores into the Keep Sept! Ser Darklyn caught..my son..defiling the place.”
She spat ‘my son’ as if it was bile in her mouth. Criston clenched his teeth, anger beginning to rise up from the pit of his stomach. He was utterly revolted. They were going to thrust this wanton, deviant, gluttonous Prince onto the throne.
They had no other choice.
The green queen’s tone grew hard as she ordered, “Pay him a visit. Make him understand the castle is not his playground. Use any means possible. Your queen demands it.”
Criston squeezed her palms and nodded. He rumbled, “Prince Aegon’s heresy will not go unpunished, you have my promise.” Alicent turned away with a thanks, nails back to her lips. The white knight had an order to execute, striding off to the Prince’s quarters.
He stopped to raise a brow at Ser Arryk standing guard. The twin grumbled, “Princeling’s sleeping off his revels, by all means, go ahead.” He gave a wry smile, Criston not returning the look. Criston dismissed Cargyll, “The Queen requires you to take my place at her side. I’ve been sent to deal with Aegon.”
The other Kingsguard nodded, rolling his eyes at Criston’s serious demeanor. Cole watched him descend down the hallway, turning a corner before opening Aegon’s door. The knight wrinkled his nose at the smell of wine and musk— Aegon sprawled out in his bed, naked.
A bottle of wine sat on the side table. Criston’s eyes jerked to the foot of the grand bed. His lips twisted downwards at the ropes, leather, the collection of ivory to ebony carved cocks. The marcher was stunned. The open display of debauchery. An outwardly sinful collection. He swallowed reflexively, deciding on what to do.
Dark eyes roved up to the Prince. He’d grown rather fleshy with drink and overindulgence at the table. For a young man of twenty, a dragon rider, Aegon had the soft curves of a plump maid. Criston could almost laugh— Aegon probably spent too much time on his back to get a sweat working even with all the fucking he did.
He stalked over toward the side of the bed, leering down at Aegon. Criston had an idea pop in his head— a nasty one. Beating Aegon served no gain. The princeling would just snivel and cry, delving deeper into his cups. The knight’s cock stirred at the image of wide eyes and tears falling down fat cheeks.
Aegon was pretty enough, soft enough, tits grown much bigger than Rhaenyra had at the time he coveted her, sullied his cloak for her. His white hair was rumpled, lips, and cheeks feminine and plump. Criston was well acquainted with wide violet eyes and long lashes. He reminded Cole too much of Ali with that look.
Criston barked, “Aegon!”
The prince stirred and whined, rolling onto his soft tummy, exposing more plush thigh and a round ass. Criston rolled his eyes, ignoring his stirring cock. Aegon’s pallid fleshy hips had jagged pink marks, a sign of the glutton gaining too much for his skin to keep up. The marcher couldn't understand how the buffoon had no shame in his naked body, especially in a state such as this.
Criston’s eyes jerked back to the foot of the bed. Aegon was ruled by his extreme hedonism. His nasty thought blossomed into a plan. The knight sighed in annoyance. He’d remain chaste, but Aegon would get some sense fucked into him.
Criston undid his gauntlets in quick snaps, eyes blown and focused on the prince. Next came his pauldrons, dropping to the floor in a loud clank. Aegon snuffled and stirred, groaning, “Fuck off Cargyll, m’alive.”
Finally, the heavy cuirass was off. The marcher remained in his white garb. He took off his boots before snatching the phials of oil and the biggest carved cock available. The cloak was neatly placed out of sight— Criston would deal with his guilt later. This was for the crown, for his queen, for the future of Westeros.
He placed the heavy cock down on the bedside table, placing a knee on the plush bed. Aegon finally jerked and squawked, reddened eyes wide. His puffy lips opened and closed like a fish. The prince questioned “Cole? What in the seven hells are you doing here? I’m trying to rest! Did you not hear me tell Cargyll to fuck off?”
Criston wanted to snarl and jerk the brat around. He remained quiet, face placid, staring Aegon down. After taking a breath, he spoke, “I came to check on you. I don’t appreciate the attitude, my prince. You’ve been more withdrawn than usual.”
Aegon’s face softened, eyes gleaming from the attention Criston was lathering upon his minuscule ego. He murmured, “This isn’t some scheme from Mother, is it? You merely care for Aemond.” The blonde’s mouth pouted, face eager for a smidgeon of praise.
“No. I care for all of you. What’s going on Aegon? You surround yourself in Flea Bottom, but you seem lonely around the Keep. I notice more than you think.” Criston was not lying when he said his piece. Aegon irked him but he held affection for all of Alicent’s children. He also knew Aegon sought touch and affirmation in the lowest of places.
Aegon’s face softened, his body still bared to Criston’s sight. He mumbled, cheeks flushing, “I am already an idiot fool, I can’t fight, nor will I be as smart as Aemond. What is the saying? The black sheep.”
Criston placed a knee on the plush bed, leaning to cup a full cheek. He replied, “The black sheep of the family, yes. Although I believe that title is for the bitch on Dragonstone. You don’t trust yourself enough, hm? You never gave yourself a chance.”
Aegon nuzzled into his palm, eyes growing teary and cheeks flushing. He inhaled a bit, body shifting. The prince complained, “Why are you here? To make me feel worse? It’s too late. This is what I am. I’d rather be drunk than try and be laughed at more.”
Criston put his other knee on the bed, climbing towards Aegon. He purred, “So you’d rather spread your legs like a two stag whore and guzzle wine, feast and fuck your life away?” Aegon whimpered softly as Criston jerked the prince underneath him, pulling him up by thick hips.
“Ah- what are you doing?”
“Maybe you’ll learn some worth if I fuck it into you, pretty princeling,” He quipped back, fingertips digging into pliant flesh. He felt good. Too good. Aegon squirmed but Criston had him pinned under his toned frame. The prince whined, “Why, don’t, this is...no!”
“Your wanton pussy says no to me then? How strange,” Criston hummed, “Aemond would never defile a sept like you have. Disgusting.” The pale body under him struggled, tears pouring from the blonde’s eyes. Criston reached around to grab at a rock-hard cock, laughing meanly as he gave tentative pumps.
“Truly are a deviant. You probably dreamed of this,” he groped Aegon’s fat belly, “A glutton too. You were so slim. What happened? Aemond had a pudgy face. You’ve got tits now.”
Aegon mewled pathetically, bucking back into Criston’s hips. He whined, “Stop it, stop it, s’not that bad!” Criston snorted, grabbing a handful of chubby tits, Aegon sobbing and shivering. The knight pinched at the stretched nipple and swore, “Plump little princess. Content to laze around and get her pussy fucked all day. You have no conviction. No ambition to rule your kingdom.”
Criston reached over to grab the oil, Aegon’s sniveling music to the marcher’s ears. The prince tried to sneer, “Y-you swore to be chaste, you already fucked that up! Picking another Valyrian again?”
“No, no, simpleton. As much as I disgustingly lusted for a Targaryen princess on my cock, I have doubled over my faith. This is merely a lesson for you. Smart girl, wish you used your bigger head more, it is a scheme from your mother,” his gloved hand cracked across Aegon’s peachy ass, “As I pondered, figured you’d be apt to listen with a cock up your cunt.”
Teary doll eyes and trembling lips stared over a pale shoulder. Aegon’s white hair hung limp in his face. He tried to squirm again, pissed off, by his swears and leg kicking out. Criston shoved the softling by his neck, Aegon crying out in frustration.
The knight reached back for that discarded rope, yanking Aegon’s skinny wrists up and trying them. Criston hissed, “Goddamn brat. That’s what you are. You’re going to listen and maybe I’ll make your needy pussy feel good.” He was disgusted with himself— Aegon’s strangled moans were delicious.
The headboard clattered as Criston tested the ties. He took a moment to murmur, “Too tight?” Aegon rasped, heaving a sob, “N-no! Fuck me already! Make your point!” Criston’s lips quirked up, sliding a calloused thumb over Aegon’s twitching entrance, drawing a pitiful whine.
He poured oil over the twitching pucker, slicking his gloved fingers up. Criston had no experience with this but he knew an ass had no lubrication. Therefore, it was his job to open Aegon up. The prince squirmed impatiently, blotchy red cheeks ripe with embarrassment.
Criston could be gentle. But the leather whip told him otherwise. He pressed two fingers against the tight ring, trying to work himself in with circular movements. Aegon mewled, chubby thighs trembling, arching his back into a thick crease. Dark eyes hungrily watched Aegon's softened body fold and shake, idly worried why he thought it to be so fetching to the gaze.
“You’ve let yourself go to seed. No better than some lord's fat spoilt daughter. You’ve seen Aemond,” his other hand pinched Aegon’s back roll meanly, grinning at the prince’s whimpery pleads, “He’s lean and talented, even with one eye. You could’ve built yourself up in the yard.”
Aegon cried out as Criston’s oily fingers dipped inside the ring of muscle, the knight roughtly shoving them in deep. Aegon thrashed at the burn, cock bobbing against his drooping gut. The elder continued, “You might’ve been decent with a sword. Maybe you could read up and try to be smart? Aemond studies for hours.”
Criston cruelly jabbed his fingers in short thrusts as Aegon whined and babbled, “I- I can speak Valyrian! Stop talking about him now!” Aemond made Aegon’s hackles raise easily— the dutiful brother, the better son, the beloved. Alicent had eyes for the special son and his monstrous dragon.
Criston’s fingers curled against a nub that make the softling jolt in his ropes, throwing his wild hair back. The knight raised a brow— he’d heard Aegon talking about a spot that made the male whores squeal once. This must be it.
“I’m merely giving you some advice, Aemond excels. I could get you into fighting shape, hm?” He drug padded tips against the little spot, Aegon breathily moaning, “Ser Criston, Ser, please! No more about him!”
“Should’ve been born with a cunt. Let him breed you up with pretty Valyrian babies. You’re close enough anyways, always crying and needing your achy cunt pleased. Tits and hips made for babes. Greedy, greedy, greedy,” he tutted. Criston eagerly thrust his fingers, a grin plastered on his handsome face, eyes feral. The squelching added to Aegon's embarrassment, desire, and needs.
Aegon made a desperate noise, shivering all over. Criston flipped Aegon onto his back, seeing the fuss. The prince whined as his wrists twisted, eyes turned away, pouty lips swollen from biting. Criston eyed the milky cum decorating Aegon’s striped lower belly.
“Whore. Is that what we have to do to keep you in line? Keep you fucked out, drunk, and fed?” He snarled, face dangerously close. Aegon spread his thick thighs, tears leaking down his fat cheeks. The prince moaned “Fuck meeee, fuck meee, please just fuck me! I’ll be good!”
Criston groped at a tender breast, demanding, “You’ll be a good what?”
Aegon sulked as he huffed, eyes finally on Criston’s dark gaze. The knight slapped his fatty thigh, the prince wailing, “Your good little princess! The princess! Yes! I’ll listen!”
The brunette cooed, “Good girl, you’ll get your pussy fucked again. Such a lustful sort. Gorgeous whore. Look’it you.” His soiled gloves took their time squeezing Aegon’s curves. He hooked his fingers into a deep belly button, and the blonde began to whine again. His once-softened cock was already straining against his stomach.
“What? Gods. Surely all this blubber doesn’t turn you on? You need a corset, my Princess,” he laughed again.
Aegon stammered, “N-no, all this touching. S'sensitive.”
“Mhm, sure Aegon, you think I don’t see you at supper? Never miss supper do you? Ruled by your own greed. How will you be king? We’ll be penniless! Easy for your uncle and sister to take over.”
"I'll listen, you can be my hand, keep me in line," Aegon wetly cried, "Please, please, Serrr, need it."
Criston hummed in contentment, stretching black gloves against ivory thighs, spreading Aegon wide open. He smirked at the way Aegon's belly bunched into two thick rolls, forcing his little tits up. The knight swallowed down drool, he mustn't lap or suckle. He had to break his prince down some more.
The dark haired knight reluctantly leg go of a thigh, eyes drifting from Aegon's used hole. He grabbed that carved cock from earlier, slathering the earlier discarded oil onto it, something floral scenting the pungent air. The prince mewled and spread his legs, puffy lips swollen and spit-slick. Criston muttered, "Where the fuck do you even get these things...this one is lumped.."
Aegon panted, "S'for that spot."
"The spot that makes the spoilt princess squeal?"
Violet eyes watered some more, Aegon swallowing down a whine, softly pleading Criston- promising his utmost attention, duty, and service. Only if the Kingsguard would just use the toy! Criston smiled darkly, shoving the bulbous tip of the ebony cock into Aegon's stretched hole. The younger cried out, back arching again, almost sobbing with pleasure.
The marcher focused on settling it deep inside, pleased with the knowledge it would rub Aegon's tiny sweet spot raw. His hands were still gloved, he might fuck around with Aegon's small pink cock. Criston began to pump it in and out, watching tied wrists struggle as Aegon whimpered and moaned.
He shifted further forward, white garments rubbing against sensitive skin. It was as if Criston was practically fucking Aegon now, hand holding the toy being pistoned by his hips. His other hand groped its way up Aegon's flushed body, thumbing and pulling at a puffy nipple. Criston shook his head, commenting, "Your tits are growing princess, look how eager you are, shoving them into my palm."
He pinched harder, Aegon crying out in pleasure-pain. Criston leaned forward to hiss "We need to do something about your teat before they're bigger than your wife's. I expect some riding and training, yes?" Aegon babbled and sniffled, nodding along, slurred promising. The elder smiled down, easing his grip, patting Aegon's cheek.
"S-Ser, harder, I beg of you, m'close, I'll be sosososo good!"
"If you continue to be good after this, then you'll be rewarded every time. I think that's a good plan," Cole remarked, hand drawing dangerously close to Aegon's flushed prick, "I always have to handle you brats anyways. You're just a brattier princess who needs special treatment. Like your fucking bitch sister."
Aegon's thighs and ass clenched down on the thick cock, hitching on a warbling sob. The Kingsguard licked his lips, suddenly aware he was biting at them. He leered as he gripped the handful of cock, thumbing at the leaking tip. Cole reminisced with a frown, "Rhaenyra was more pliant after I played with her clit too, I guess you two are more similar than I thought. Deceptively pretty."
The prince's breathing had grown so thin it was as if he was breathing through a straw, eyes wide and lolling around, mewling and carrying on. Criston kept ranting, raising himself into a tizzy, "Luckily your hungry cunt will be attended to. Only in the keep. Until you can prove yourself to be competent! Can you respond to that?"
Aegon babbled, squirming from the pressure on his oversensitive cockhead, the Kingsguard fucking the carved toy into his ass, dragging across that little gland. Criston hummed, "There we go, the princess can behave when her clit's being rubbed hm? S'too much? You're leaking all over me, messy girl." He was having absolute joy with this, Aegon wailing and painting his soft tummy repeatedly, pearly seed shining on his pallid skin.
He'd roughened his touches, drove that ebony cock harder, lost in Aegon's cries. The poor thing busted again, begging for mercy, red-faced and spent. Criston felt that was enough, easing the toy out. He scooped up the copious seed and fed it into Aegon's slobbery lips, the whore lapping it up dutifully, hazy eyes the picture of a sweet royal. A good, well-behaved Targaryen.
Criston patted his cheek again, humming, "Good. I expect to see you at dinner. Then we shall discuss further plans. Whore."
He crawled off the bed, taking off his messy gloves and tucking them away with a shiver. Disgust crawled up the knight's spine. He turned toward the window as he put his armor back on. Aegon whined, "W-where are you going? Can we not talk about the plans here?"
He glared at the sot, scoffing, "Not like that we will. Get yourself cleaned up, I'll be taking my leave. Listen to as I have told you, Aegon. Criston donned his cloak, inwardly counting how many flogs he would receive for his sin. For the wetness in his breeches. For his hardened cock and desire for Aegon's wanton nature.
Aegon arrived at dinner well-behaved, quiet, and sipping his wine. He cast uneasy looks between Ser Criston and Alicent. The queen smiled, "I know you would help, Ser Cole, he looks better already." Criston watched those pouty lips tremble. Perhaps it soothed the scarred tissue of his heart caused by another. His lips quirked up as he bowed his head, "No issue, my queen, Aegon needs a firmer hand."
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Taylor Hebert AKA Skitter Propaganda Post
Do you know what you have to do to hurt someone in a fight if your whole power is “controls bugs?” It’s never pleasant. And this is a girl with an almost pathological drive to fight people theoretically much stronger than her. Much maggots-in-eyes and spiders-on-dicks ensue. Committed to being a hero initially, ends up becoming warlord of a whole city while defending it from super-poweeed spree killers, monstrous kaiju, and timeline-severing mobsters. Saves humanity through mass mind-control.
Shes so fucking morally ambiguous I don't even know where to start. She wanted to be a hero and then over the course of 1.7 million words she tricked me into thinking she was rational and ethically sound when she cut out someone's eyes, held someone's dying son hostage in front of them as leverage (she was killing the son), put maggots in someone else's eyes to eat them slowly, shot a fucking toddler with no hesitation, and she's such an amazing unreliable narrator that you root for her. She's genuinely so good at convincing herself that she's morally sound that she convinces the reader of it as well most of the time, but despite the atrocities (and there's a fucking ton of atrocities) she's genuinely a girl who wants to do good and help the world. She fights serial killers, provides food and water and shelter for people who need it, gets her back broken trying to save people, and is generally willing to do whatever it takes to help no matter what that entails. She's a girlboss who is terrifying and determined enough to kill god, she's willing to do anything for the greater good, she has a fucking orphanage as the bottom floor of her supervillain lair. She's so so complicated and such a twist of good and brutality and I cannot stress enough how compelling and morally ambiguous and girlboss she is. I have never seen a character who fits the title "morally ambiguous girlboss" more in my entire life and frankly I doubt I will, no one does it like her.
she went from aspiring hero > supervillain > warlord (still a supervillain) > hero > mind-controlling every cape in the multiverse to kill god. and she did kill god. so. girlboss. but on her first night out she used her bugs to bite a man's dick off. that man? trying to kill kids. those kids? teenage supervillains. she initially joined their teen supervillain group to betray them to the heroes, then joins for real. their boss kidnapped a preteen girl and got said girl addicted to drugs. he used a heist taylor was in as a distraction to kidnap the girl. taylor becomes a warlord and does all sorts of awful things to the other gangs in the city (including putting maggots in a guys eyes, and carving another man's eyes out (bug dick guy) (everything grew back)). the reason she did this? so she could kill her boss and free the preteen girl. She's taken over the city at this point, she's a warlord running a supervillain gang. what's she doing with this power? improving the city's infrastructure. she runs her territory like a panopticon, if anybody who can work isn't working they get the bugs. she's also running an orphanage out of her home. she decides to step down as warlord and join the heroes. while she's in custody, what does she do? that's right. kill superman via dry land drowning in bugs. now she's a superhero. she does stakeouts and pursues gangs to force their younger/more sympathetic members into superheroism. why? to fight the end of the world. the end of the world comes, god is killing every earth in the multiverse and things aren't looking good. what does taylor do? she asks a bio-kinetic who got sent to supervillain alcatraz for sister rape to give her on-the-spot brain surgery. this brain surgery lets her control any person within like 18 feet of her. she uses a portal guy to manage to ensnare every cape in the multiverse and unite them in her fight against god. One cape has a stress induced aneurysm. how do they ultimately defeat god? she makes large-scale replicas of his dead wife everywhere, making him so sad he becomes killable. girlboss. (sorry this was so long! i started and then just kept going. worm is 1.68 million words long and a lot happens in it)
Holy Shit. Holy SHIT dude. She rotted a man's dick off with spider venom. and then she did it again (it grew back). and then she cut his eyes out. this is the first guy she meets. she mutilates *so many* people. one time she withheld a life-saving epinephrine shot from a dying man (he was allergic to bees. she controls bees.) as extortion material. she shoots a baby (it was a mercy). She cut a girl in half (which was actually pretty high up there on the "most heroic things she did" list). She was Seinfeldian rivals with the most dangerous serial killer in existence, until she trapped him in Hell Forever. He's like still there by the end of the second book. she kills God by bullying him to death. All* of this was probably the best thing she could have done in the situation. the tagline of the book is "doing the wrong things for the right reasons." The worst thing she ever really did was to pretend she was straight though.
Did she kill an orphan? Yes. Did she put maggots into a man’s eyes? Yes. Did she do all of this while having intense homoerotic tension? Yes, and that is why she is a girlboss. She also killed Jesus
https://www.tumblr.com/morally-grey-girlbosses/729188280734760960 (tumblr user @lakesbian elaborates on Taylor's Atlas Complex)
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So a few years ago I bought this trilogy called captive prince but after reading a few chapters of the first book I kind of gave up on it. I normally don't have a problem with exploring darker themes in a story but captive prince in particular was unenjoyable for me at that time
Later, I was bored with nothing much to do, so I decided to check my bookshelves, found captive prince and started reading and boy I am so glad that I did! I finished the books in a few days and proceeded to read all the short stories.
First of all, before I get to praise the book, I want to say my main criticism about the books: "the slavery stuff in the first book is badly written". Don't get me wrong, Captive prince does not glorify slavery like some haters suggest. I'm not exactly opposed to writing slavery in fiction and there are many political/historical fictional stories that have main characters trying to abolish slavery. It's a common theme.
Captive prince is not much different from the main character ,Damen ,who used to be a slaver himself, gets turned into a slave and tries to abolish it by the end of the series.
It's a fine idea on surface level but there's one big problem with it , I'd like to call it the "Erasmus problem". The first book of captive prince heavily suggested that there were slaves like Erasmus who liked to have a master and I want to believe it's Damen being biased and bigoted because of his privileged upbringing but the story itself still falls apart. There are also instances where sexual slavery becomes apparent and uncomfortable. So if any of these bothers you like it bothered me, the first book of CP is definitely not for you.
OK now for the positives:
From the second book onward, this trilogy becomes a masterpiece.
This story is truly an enemy to love. Most of the other enemies to lovers stories that I have read are just characters either having a simple rivalry or a petty misunderstanding. They dislike each other because one character ignored the other when they were kids , or because they are simply on a different sports team. Captive prince does not shy away from giving the main characters good and logical reasons to hate each other and even hurt each other to an extreme for great and understandably human reasons. They have hurt each other a lot and have no business ever falling in love and still somehow manage to grow and understand and develop something special and unique and I think it's beautiful.
The slow burn: The romance starts only after the entire first book (in which they just hate each other) and most of the second book (where they get to know and understand each other), it's not the slowest burn I've ever read but for a book with characters like these two, it's necessary. and well written
Captive prince's author is extremely brave in making the first book and one of the main characters deliberately hateable with a seemingly unreliable narrator: I don't think I've ever read a story where I hate the first book and enjoy the rest. First impressions are very important and when people don't like an entire first book they probably wouldn't try to continue. I have no idea how and why this author managed to make people still invested enough to publish the second and third book but I'm glad that it happened. It was so enjoyable reading the story from one character's perspective and going from absolutely hating the other character to loving him and understanding him. with the unreliable narrator that is Damen.
The world building, writing and the political story: This may not be the greatest political story with the greatest worldbuilding I've ever read but considering the genre that is m/m romance, I think it's excellent. Let's face it, it's not common for m/m romance to do worldbuilding and politics well. I don't want to seem mean but I've read a decent amount of books and m/m romance and very few of them were actually satisfying to me in terms of politics. Captive prince was one of the rare gems. There might be a few plot holes for me here and there but seeing the characters struggle with each other and plan things out , helping each other or getting fooled by each other in a romance story focusing on mostly only two characters was great to see. I also found some aspects of Homonormativity in the world hilarious. Unless you are married, you are not allowed to be straight in Vere because they hate bastards lol
Despicable villain: This story has the worst and most hateable villain I've ever read in an m/m story. This again goes back to the author being brave enough to write the story the way it is since a lot of romance writers don't dare tackle some really darker aspects.
Subversion of Tropes and Exploration of Power Dynamics : This one was a little hard for me to put into words but basically the series delves into power dynamics in relationships, politics, and society, offering nuanced portrayals of domination, submission, and consent and I don't necessarily mean sexually. In most romance stories, whenever character 1 goes to character 2's kingdom as a lover or sex slave (usually character 1 is the female character in a straight romance) you'd almost always see them have one specific power dynamic. In Captive prince, their characters and their dynamics clashes and changes rapidly and as the story goes on, Damen as a king becomes almost equal to Lauren (I would argue he even becomes politically more powerful than Laurent during certain parts of the story considering Laurent remains a prince for the most part but I digress)
Flawed and human characters who hurt each other without actually romanticizing toxicity: One thing that some people criticize about captive prince and I disagree with, is that it has a toxic relationship. I have to mention that there's basically no actual relationship between the characters until the end of the story and when they do get into a relationship they are a very sweet couple. I think people call them toxic because they were flawed and literal enemies who hurt each other because of it but that's not what I call toxic. Toxicity implies that them being together (they were not together) poisons their life. Both characters manage to grow and understand each other. Damen in particular is a character who you don't see his flaws at first but it becomes more evident how privileged and naive he was and he changes a lot as well as Laurent.
Overall I think excluding the slavery aspects of book 1 which are badly written, this story hits the mark of everything I need in a romance book and I just needed to talk about it. Thanks for coming to my ted talk!
#captiveprince#Captive prince#damen x laurent#laurent de vere#damianos of akielos#damen of akielos#Damen#Laurent#Book review#lgbtq#Prince gambit#kings rising#c s pacat#lamen#Capri#prince's gambit
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The Missing Ingredient
Tonight I was casually rereading the chapters that are about to be adapted in the anime when something hit me, and now I have to talk about it ASAP even if it’s not fully fleshed out. You’re getting insomniac-Lin this time, folks.
So. Chapter 304, the one where Izuku finally gets to speak with the vestiges while he’s unconscious in the hospital, has bugged me since the day it came out. I couldn’t articulate it, but something about the way OFA was explained felt like conjecture, or like it was made up on the fly. Idk, it just seemed kinda weak. The detail that I think gets overlooked is that this “lore” is, in fact, conjecture. All Might’s, specifically. It’s his research and logical assumption that led to the conclusion that quirkless people are the only ones able to handle OFA. But we can and should consider the explanation given in 304, that whole business with the overflowing chalices, to be unreliable narration. It is simply a somewhat educated guess.
Like I said, I’ve thought this for a while, but I wasn’t able to get any further with it. Tonight, I went over it again, and I asked myself: other than the fact that All Might was quirkless, what else makes him different from his predecessors? All Might specifically compared himself to the 4th, the one who died of old age, so I did the same. Well… the only other thing about the 4th that stands out is that he spent his life totally alone. This fact is emphasized clearly, and yet, it’s significance is hiding in plain sight: what if the isolation is what killed him?
Thematically, this story has established the dangers and damaging effects of isolation many times, from All Might’s lonely career, to the Todoroki family’s dysfunction, to society’s abandonment of the villains, to Izuku’s misadventures as a solo act. I could go on, but the point is, we are led to see that people become their worst selves when they are alone. Horikoshi has drilled this idea so deeply into the way I analyze bnha that I now look at the 4th and see that he epitomizes the flaw of self-isolation. He kept well hidden and he devoted himself to training, but in the end it wasn’t enough. What is enough? Why is Yagi Toshinori still alive to this day despite the fate Night Eye saw for him? Unless you believe he’s still bound to die, which I don’t, then there’s one simple reason: Izuku. It wasn’t only All Might who changed Izuku’s life, but also the other way around. Because of Izuku, Toshinori gradually regained his sense of purpose and drive, his very will to keep living even when “All Might” was long gone. Because of their bond, he is given the gift of a life beyond passing the torch of OFA. That in itself is something no previous OFA user has ever had before. THAT, if you ask me, is what sets him apart. So what does that say about OFA?
Let’s backtrack for a second. Chapter 304 also directly states that OFA drastically changed about four months prior:
I think we can accept this as reality because it’s just an observation, BUT. What’s odd is it’s left without a “why.” As in, why did it change? Was it simply the “right time?” Was there a trigger? Was it a milestone of Izuku’s strength? No definitive explanation is offered. I decided to look back on “four months ago” and see if I could pick up on anything. Of course it’s referring to when Izuku first had a vision of his predecessors in a dream, and when he unlocked blackwhip—but again, no one knew “why now?” I found that the progress made in this arc is actually nicely summarized in chapter 257:
Here we see that Izuku finally feels like he has a place in the world and a true connection with people he cares about, specifically with Toshinori and Katsuki. Incidentally, this is also the chapter where we learn that the previous OFA users all died young, and it ends with Toshinori talking about what it means for him to keep living. It’s no longer about “helping” in the way he used to as a hero, but just being there for others as a person. So the growth of OFA coincides with Izuku’s developing relationships.
The logical assumption that I’m now going to make is that Toshi’s consciousness in the OFA realm exists because of the connection he forged with Izuku. His fire-y spectral presence is not a vestige at all, not even remotely the same thing as the other previous users, which are only there because of their quirk factors. They are more like memories of people, whereas Toshi’s is a manifestation of a living soul. Still, we would be led to assume it only forms within OFA because Toshinori himself once had the quirk. However…
Katsuki is involved now too. And I don’t think we can claim he is a previous OFA user since Heroes Rising is only loosely canon and the transfer was never completed anyway. Rather, like Toshinori, Katsuki is a deeply important person in Izuku’s life, and that apparently is enough. Since Toshinori normally has a slight psychic connection to his OFA manifestation, my guess is Katsuki also had this vague sort of sense, and maybe a ghostly manifestation of his own, but in his current near-death state, that signal is strengthened to the point where he is fully aware and present inside OFA. As for the reason he’s in a separate setting to the vestiges, and Toshinori’s manifestation is also there, it’s like a Venn diagram. The previous users are in one place, living people closest to Izuku are in another, and Ghost Toshi can go between them because he is both, the overlap of the Venn diagram. Regardless of these technical details though, I think the clues point to the idea that OFA grows from and is meant to be used by someone who is interdependent and has supportive relationships, while isolation causes it to behave like a parasite. The concept also lends itself well to OFA affecting/providing power to others, namely Katsuki, if one is so inclined to those theories. Where I’m at right now, I just think OFA and its wielder have finally gained something they’ve been missing all along. But Izuku still has to fully embrace that.
#bnha manga#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha meta#all might#yagi toshinori#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#one for all#ofa#bkdk#bakudeku#dkbk#dekubaku#lin speaks
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I got an ask wondering about who is my favourite character in Disco Elysium, which I stand by my answer of being not really one in particular. But, Dora is one character I've been thinking about a lot and I think I want to expand on that.
The story is told through Harry's eyes, and regardless of his in-depth analysis of and narration of his attributes, it's unreliable. Undeniably so. This is part of the story, I really do feel for Harry's inability to move on. I feel for his aching loneliness, and his need to be needed. The crushing feeling of missing someone so achingly bad, only for them to learn that they have actually forgotten a lot about you and moved on is a feeling of deep rejection, devastatingly demoralizing and painful. "I betrayed her, overwrote her, and happier for it" is a visceral line of feeling the alienation of someone you've lost to time, someone you used to know but has moved on without you.
But I really can't help but feel so much for Dora's position in all of this. As a woman in a male dominated society your emotions are seen as both weak yet mature, you are constantly objectified down into pieces of meat, and seen as vapid and shallow when you put yourself first. When you choose to finally stand up for yourself, that is long after you've known better, long after you’ve been embittered by your initial innocence and first experience.
“You were my first. My first kiss, my first time to have sex.”
The game continues to emphasize how Harry loved her, how Harry missed her, and yet I get deeply uncomfortable with how her presence is described with her physique rather than her actual self as a person.
“A dolorian figure, cut in black, moves below. It's still her. Her legs, her breasts, her hips…”
[...]
“‘No, Harry.’ She shakes her head. ‘It's just regular skin. I'm not as beautiful as you always thought I was.”
It’s reductive. It’s dehumanizing. It’s not about her, it’s what she represents. The most perfect goddess of a woman, put on a pedestal and quite literally turned into a deity. Not to be loved romantically, but to be worshipped as a religious figure. Worshipped for the violence and destruction she creates to degrade him and feed into his self loathing, and thus Dora becomes Dolores Dei.
There is a selfish hope and longing that comes with any sort of kindness or pity she give him. She knows that and her words are cautious, she has been through it before, and no longer feels any sort of way about it. She is vulnerable, she did used to care, she is sympathetic to his pain, but she firmly does not anymore and will not allow her empathy be used against her.
YOU - "But… that's not a very good way for things to
be."
DOLORES DEI - "It's not, but…" She looks at her feet. Little golden sandals cover her toes.
YOU - "But what? Tell me there's something good…"
DOLORES DEI - "I don't know why I said but. There is no but."
YOU - "That's it?"
DOLORES DEI - "That's it, yes," she looks up from her toes. "We've talked about it a million times. You will get over it, just like I did. People do. Things will get good for you again…"
I understand that detachment so deeply.
There is a pain to know men you trusted and cared and loved only to be seen as a reductive version of yourself. The one who is “nice”, the one who is “ethereally beautiful” and that’s… about it. You’re not good for each other. It didn’t work out. But by finally deciding it is best to remove yourself from that relationship, you are considered the slut that left him. You are considered the gold digger, the shallow bitch, the uncaring freak of a woman. We didn't really get to know about her and I don't think she was good to him either.
And I just can’t help thinking about that. I’m glad she’s happier now.
#dolores dei#harry du bois#disco elysium#dora ingerlund#linktoo rambles#we live in a society... idk what 2 say...
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Fic Finder
March 10th
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1. Alright, I’m in need of some help finding a fic! I remember a few things but haven’t been able to find it yet in my history and I apparently didn’t bookmark it like a dumbass! Anyway, I remember that it was canon divergent around the time of Sunshot, I remember that JZX is stabby because he’s half Yu and they’re the clan where you have to be inventive as well as stabby to earn your place? The Yunmeng trio go to Meishan to get help and I believe Yanli is sect leader so it might be a no golden core transfer fic? The thing I remember most is that JZX kills Wen Xu himself (with a poison knife?), and the intricacy of the traps you have to work through in order to get into Meishan territory. Hopefully this is specific enough! Thanks! @belovedmuerto
FOUND! Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed MY, Families of Choice, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession)
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2. Hi! I'm looking for a fic I've read where wwx reincarnates and lwj tries to say i love you to him but wwx keeps on deflecting or just says thank you. I think lwj also tries to make wwx fall in love with him again because wwx is afraid to give his love to lwj again after what he did to him. AHHHH I really need to read it againnn!! Thank you so much for your help!
FOUND? When the Words Stop Coming by mrcformoso (T, 7k, WangXian, Canon Compliant, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canonical Character Death, Love Confessions, Rejection, LWJ is a Panicked Gay, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Trauma, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending)
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3. Hi! i'm looking for a fic: omegaverse. yllz!wwx and general!lwj, more or less. at the start the two don't know each other (iirc), and lwj has basically been sent to negotiate with wwx, ideally for a surrender. they decide to have a duel and it becomes clear part way through that wwx is an omega. lwj kind of loses control of his instincts and bites wwx as like, a dominance thing in the fight, but then things get kind of hand (in a sexy way). i think they get together after that? thank you <;3 @motherfuckingnazgul
FOUND! take a chance on me by gremlinsae (E, 9k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Accidental Bonding, dubcon, Swordfighting, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Canon Sexual Dynamic, Scenting, Badass WWX, Banter, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Royalty, cw: discussion of omega trafficking and sexual assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault)
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4. Shifting through my read history continues to be an exercise in making myself cross-eyed, so: looking for a fic where JC is under the impression that LWJ lost someone (he thinks it's probably LSZ's mother) because of WWX. In one scene, he's eavesdropping on the junior quartet from an indoor balcony. Then some years later he realizes that the person lost was actually WWX himself; what helps him come to this conclusion is a song WWX used to sing that he overhears LSZ singing a modified version of while on a night hunt(?). @linderel
FOUND! sing to the clouds in summer by stiltonbasket (G, 28k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, 13k words of JC figuring out that LSZ is his nephew, ft. LXC and NHS the overprotective uncles, and LWJ giving JC death glares, Family Secrets, Reconciliation, Sad JC, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Podfic Available)
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5. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where it’s single dad!lwj and his babysitter was abusing a yuan ?? Or left him somewhere. and WWX sees it, realizes he’s a lan and says the kid is lucky because chances are he knows who his dad is. Then he calls LWJ’s law office to speak with him?
Sorry it’s so vague that’s all I remember lol. Thanks for all that you do for this fandom!❤️
FOUND? 🧡 Yiling Salon: Hair, Nails and Piercing by TriviasFolly (T, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hairstylist AU, Hairstylist WWX, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Experimental style) Not sure if it's the best fit, based on the summary, but it made me think of that fic
FOUND? five years gone by quillifer (E, 14k, WangXian, Mpreg, a/b/o dynamics, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Breakup/makeup, Miscommunication, Pregnant Sex, consent is king, soft sad and horny, Happy Ending, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU, Unplanned Pregnancy)
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6. Hi Mods. You guys are doing a fantastic job as always with this blog. It's definitely become my miracle drug for all things MDZS. On that note, HELP! I can't seem to find a specific canon-divergent WX story. Two monks/rogue cultivators find unconscious WWX after he's been strangled by JC. They take him in. He learns art/crafting from them. They adopt him. He only runs into LWJ between commissions and travel with his master. He makes the village a Wen sanctuary and helps the common people in SSC @jovialtyrantdreamer
FOUND? 🔒 Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Not JC Friendly, WangXian Get a Happy Ending)
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7. hi... could you help me find a fic I read a while ago? wwx and lwj are trapped in the turtle cave... without energy... they do double cultivation (through sex*)
Time passes to the part where wwx is given hi core jc
When WQ removes WWX's core, he discovers that he was pregnant...
It's not Omegaverse
FOUND! Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)
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8. Hello it's me again!! I remember reading a fic where Wei Wuxian could control dead animals. There was this particular instance of a black puppy owned by Jin Zixuan which later turned into a yao? I have forgotten the rest since I read it a couple of years ago.
Again thank you for your amazing work!! @yilinglaobunny
FOUND? 🧡 a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke ( M, 180k, WangXian, Arranged marriage, Canon Divergence, Hurt/comfort, Light angst, Canon typical violence)
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9. Hi! I’ve been looking for a fic for a while that I read about a year ago. I was wondering if you knew it? It’s Wangxian and they become friends in the Cloud Recesses Arc. But while they’re studying there, they learn that they can use their golden cores to sort of fuse into one person. All the cultivators can do this in this au. It’s a multi chapter fic, but I don’t remember much else about it other than it was really good and I haven’t been able to find it since. 🥲 @0utertale
FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, WangXian, XiQing, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, madam yu bashing (again not completely), MXY Deserves Better)
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10. i sent this before but i think it might've gotten lost last round, im looking for a modern au where lan zhan lost track of wy after he claimed to be the father of wq's child and they bailed. wy wasn't the child, jc was, but jc dumped her when her family had troubles and then claimed she "slept around" when wy claimed his baby; wy, naturally, punched him about it and raised ayuan. lz is ashamed of abandoning him during the scandal when they meet again years later but they work it out and wq coparents
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11. Hey I’m trying to a find a fic but I only remember one scene
It’s might be a time travle fic idk
It’s where wwx got the swords back from the wen indoctrination camp and when thanked he says consider it there jiangs contribution to the war
And nmj noticed this and his wording bc of the state the sect is in(madame yu might be alive in the fic I can’t quite remember) and admirers how he’s doing that feather then just taking all of the credit for himself @zerokogane
FOUND! Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)
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12. Looking for a fic I read a while back— teenage/sunshot era LWJ time travels to the future and wakes up in bed with WWX. I clearly remember LWJ freaking out when WWX wakes up because there’s a baby in WWX’s arms.
FOUND? These Two Most Powerful by stiltonbasket (G, 4k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, Married Life, Family Feels, Parenthood, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, it’s amnesia but it feels like time travel to LWJ, wangxian have more babies, and they are the cutest buns, not your average amnesia fic? there’s no drama here tbh, just soft husbands carrying on with fatherhood, And loving each other, Mild Angst, Happy Ending)
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13. hi! i'm looking for a fic where lz moves into wy's apartment because of the cheap rent but it's cheap because wy has like 2 panthers(?) living with him. i rly hope it hasn't been deleted cause i've been searching for a bit and can't find it
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14. hello! this is for the fic finder, there was this fic I remember specifically bc of one scene with jc. essentially, there was a little girl that fell into a lake in lp, while her mother was busy doing smth on a boat?? it was harvest season, I think. I remember that both jc and wwx fell into the lake to find the little one and what made me remember that fic was that jc lit up the whole lake with zidian. I think it was a long fic and in the end he also married the girl's mother. oh I'm pretty sure that jyl and jzx were alive too but I could be wrong.
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15. Hi! I am looking for a fic.All I remember is that Wei Wuxian arrives to the cloud recess and he meets Wanji. He talks about his future special one that when he fights and claims them he wants everyone to know that. But instead Lan Zhan corners him several times outdoors and in the library. And in the end Wei Wuxian is the one being claimed. I think I read it on ao3 and that this author had several good works. But I can't find them now 😭
FOUND? teeth on my waist (i come undone) by martyrsdaughter (E, 20k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Public Claiming, Sexual Tension, Obliviousness, Canon Era, Cloud Recesses Study Arc Exhibitionism, Public Humiliation, Dom/sub, Bondage, Masturbation, forced presentation, Dubious Consent, Knotting, Come Marking, Come Shot, Non-Consensual Spanking, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Some Feminized Language, Subspace, Rimming)
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16. hii can you help me? there is a fic i thought i added to marked for ltr but i cant find it anywhere :(
it was about jin ling hurting wei wuxian after his identity reveal in the carp tower, but the wound was way more serious,, i think in the fanfic's description was "jin ling got more time to rethink everything after wei wuxian blah blah" or smth similiar; also i'm pretty sure there was a tag about stomach infection or stomach wound infection basically a fic about wei wuxian being hurt lol
thanks<;3 @r3n-vy
FOUND? Sorry and Thank You by Morgana_avalon (G, 57k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, JL & LSZ & LJY, JL & NHS, LXC & NHS, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, JL suffering an emotional breakdown, JL stabbing WWX at the Jinlintai, Introspection, canon divergent but also canon compliant, Bad brother JC (but not too bad), NHS taking an interest in JL, painful and infected stomach wound, LXC to the rescue, WWX & LWJ are married, WWX has no golden core, NHS's hand fan is not what it seems, NHS is a determined little devil)
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17. There's a fic where they used incense burner again and Lwj is sentient but wwx-in the dream he's freshly resurrected wwx-is not. Lwj fucks him and Wwx is pleading with him to stop But then Lwj says in his ear, "you like it when I rape you.
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18. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where, post Fall of Lotus Pier, JC chokes WWX to death and his corpse is found by LWJ. Sadly I don't remember any more details. Thanks! @lucicarebloggs
Found?🔒 a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 120k, WangXian, SongXiao, XuanLi, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Fall of Lotus Pier, But worse!, Power Imbalance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Everyone Dies AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Loss of Limbs, Chronic Illness, Seizures, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Wēn Remnants Live, Wēn Remnants Deserve Better, WWX Creates a Sect | Yílíng Wèi Sect, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute LWJ, Service Animals, Crows)
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19. Hi! 🤗 I'm looking for a fic.
I don't remember much, but I remember some scenes. The idea of the story was something like if you can't beat them, join them to your sect. WWX doesn't create the Wei sect, but everyone seems to think so. Meng Yao gets locked up in Yilling and becomes something like the administrator of WWX. NHS has an information network and gives everyone a messenger bird except WWX and WWX makes a dead bird serve him. A crow, I think. I think NHS also brings them food and helps improve the town. And I also think he makes the design of Wei Ying's sect's robes.
I don't remember more, but I know that I really liked the Fic and it was long.
Thanks! I hope you can help me find it. 💕 @wangxiansgirl
FOUND! if you can’t beat them, recruit them by moeblobmegane (T, 228k, Wangxian, NHS & WWX, WWX & WQ, Time Travel Fix-It, Conspiracy, Spies & Secret Agents, Team as Family, Found Family, Burial Mounds, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Morally Ambiguous Character, Rumors, Politics, Developing Friendships, Good Uncle LQR, Demonic Cultivation, YilingWei Sect)
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20. Heyy! Looking for a fic where lwj was a single parent, I don't remember the other details but it came out that jyl (who was friends with lwj) was sending baby pictures of a-yuan to wwx to help him recover/keep going. Can't remember which fic this was. @vulpeculatee
FOUND! box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)
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luffy pre ts is constantly vying for the affection of a dead brother and living his life in a way he knows hed be proud of/actively tries to understand why sabo was interested in the things he was (politics, philosophy) and is interested in them because of that but represses the memory and reasons why he does the things he does and he doesnt recognize fully that he has the affections and approval of his non-dead brother a million times over
luffy when ace died realized that he did in fact have a brother that approved of him and that theres nobody left so he has to grief now ace being dead and also sabo all over again.
luffy post ts is realizing that he can live for people other than his brothers because now he fully realizes they are just as important to him and they are his family and they need him and also develops some neuroses such as: very visibly worrying about people
luffy is such a good character and even though he is the most unreliable narrator there is, (trauma and grief will do that to you) i feel there are nuances to him people dont acknowledge. especially the fact the fundamental core of his character is that he wants really badly for people to approve of him, which i think is why post TS he's very obviously vying for approval from people a lot more.
i think theres the tension of his character which is that him as a person the way he exists doesnt lead you to believe that at the core of who he is, all he wants to be told is "youre doing a good job" but thats fundamentally who luffy is. ALL he wants to be told is "youre doing a good job" (preferably by a parental figure).
i think it speaks to how important jimbe is to luffy that jimbe decides to become luffys dad and give him that validation because someone needed to tell luffy enough at some point honestly. (bonus points for the whitebeard and ace parallel)
i also want to emphasize how interesting it is that luffy does not vy for peoples affection via acting out or being very anxious, but by doing the right thing. (borrowing from a tumblr post ive seen many times) he is a fundamentally selfish person doing the right thing (which is very selfless) in order to achieve both an internal and external sense of approval under the perimeters set for him by shanks and sabo and later ace and jimbe. he has a sense of instilled philosophy through his life experiences (his brother being killed by a celestial dragon, being partially raised by a pirate) that i dont think he understands until aces death.
#modposts#one piece#op#monkey d luffy#first son of the sea jinbe#portgas d ace#revolutionary sabo#asl brothers
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important to note that kdj was already dissociating before the scenarios began and that his internal narration was already heavily biased and unreliable especially in regards to his own self.
after all, this is our introduction to him so we take his self assessment it at face value.
"While I hadn't worked hard…"
and so led by his narration, the reader is led to believe that kdj is a lazy worker that you can project into. this is further reinforced by contrasting him to ysa. unlike her who is the heroine and hard worker, he was an individual who liked reading webnovels instead of studying.
"So, it was inevitable that Yoo Sangah would become a full-time employee and that my contract would be terminated."
it isnt until much later through the reveal of han myungoh and that coin farm arc that it is revealed the company he worked under is a workplace that thrived on nepotism, casual harassment, hazing and bullying. that it was filled with rumours that circulated his family tragedy. mino soft was a garbage company that made even ysa snap. ysa who strived everyday to be her best and decide to be good and chose to be kind and uphold her role and morals in a society and family life hellbent on reducing her into a role. that ysa snapped and got back at the company and kdj knew it too. he knew because he looked the other way as she got back at the company, turned the camera away from the break room, and kept his eyes down, hiding himself in the cupboard and the glow of a phone.
it had been a work culture that was based on exploitation of workers. it was one rife with sexual harrassment, and where the higher ups abused their power liberally to try and coerce their underlings.
and yet, to kdj who was beaten down by this world of capitalism and being a 28 year old contract worker about to be terminated, he saw himself as a failure and not the workforce itself for failing him and every worker.
it hurts him so much that he starts dissociating to cope:
All of the sudden, Yoo Sangah's voice sounded distant.
It felt as though I was getting infinitely farther away from the world. To rein in my mind which felt as though it would drift away, I forced my eyes open and focused my gaze straight ahead.
it reveals how capitalism effects the power of the worker or rather the lack of power they have. the distorted power imbalance based on keeping the worker at the bottom of the social hierarchy is enforced by the workplace culture where the worker is disregarded if they are not profitable. this is further maintained by a culture of enforcing the notions of laziness and ridiculing those deemed lesser. it is a societal stranglehold on personhood and personal freedoms but it is not only those on top stepping on those on the bottom but also those on the bottom of the hierarchy who harm not only others but also themselves in the process of perpetuating the myth of hard work. as they absorb the harmful idea of being a model worker and link their self worth to capital, they self sabatoage themselves and place themself into a box and watches as society seals them into it.
capitalism destroys the soul of the worker.
ultimately, this workplace culture founded perpetuating the myths of hard work and laziness and which profit is prioritised over human life had led kdj to thinking himself as lesser because he took the personal liberty of enjoying a fucking novel.
#orv#anti capitalism#kim dokja#orv analysis#this provably does not make sense#no i have not read the communist manifesto yet#long post
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What Are Little Girls Made Of?
“That child would see you and run.”
Master Eiji has several amazing lines as the local Wisdom Dispenser of Blue Eye Samurai, but I think this is the deepest of all.
It doesn’t sound like a dissuasion from Mizu’s quest, but it is.
It’s confirmation that she’s a soulless beast, but it’s a warning instead of an insult.
In the Ronin and the Bride play that parallel’s Mizu’s singular attempt at being happy, in the very moment where Mizu decides to throw away her relationship with Mikkio and her patience for Mama, the ronin puppet murders his child. In the immediate context of episode 5, it’s a literal demonstration of Mizu killing her chance at peace and a future.
Now flash forward to episode 7, on the eve of her quest fulfillment. In pointing out her hollowness, Master Eiji is implying that Mizu once had a soul. Once had an option to turn back. Once had gentleness. Once had patience. Once had teachability in her. Once had innocence.
If her rebirth and reforging of that sword mattered afterwards, why did the conversation still shift towards the content of Mizu’s heart and not her head?
Eiji is making a suggestion that should shatter the viewer—even if Mizu seemingly blew past it completely.
Is Mizu becoming a villain?
On paper, the answer is no. Blue Eye Samurai is commendably great at keeping Mizu amoral for her own benefit, but not unkind.
Narratively, still no, but the feeling that Mizu isn’t a good person should linger.
Fowler spelled it out in the final boss, but that doesn’t count in my eyes. He was taunting her in-story, and making a point about whiteness being genetically destructive out-of-universe.
[By the way, I think BES was doing a great job talking about colonialism until episode 8 which was a little too heavy handed with Fowler’s rancid takes right at his actual brawl with Mizu, but that does not enter into this post.]
If it was just Fowler’s cheekily evil means to an end, to get under Mizu’s skin and into London so he would have the cultural upper hand, Mizu being on a dark path would already be stale as it was uttered in the writers’ room.
Mizu doesn’t want to be associated with innocence, but Eiji insisting that maybe she should be, that maybe she is wrong to abandon happiness, needs to be a red flag to the viewer.
Mizu’s no hero. She’s no samurai. But she is her own unreliable narrator. If who she once was would be afraid of her now, then maybe we would do well to judge Mizu’s actions in England by the same lens as Swordfather judges: with the intent to dissuade her from whatever it is she sees.
#blue eye samurai meta#netflix blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai#I know this is probably shakily worded#but in my defense I only watched the show once and can’t rewatch in the presence of my family members#I have such a penchant for non-hero protags#mizu blue eye samurai
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Side Mission vs Family: a chronological order of Twilight’s developing internal conflicts
SxF starts with a mission - Operation Strix, and because of the mission, the Forgers family is created. Before we get to the point where Twilight has to choose between his goals and his family (hopefully not unless you really want ANGST, and I know you do), another problem is seriously endangering his family mission - his side missions.
His side missions constantly take him away from his family, and we see the increasing guilt he’s been harbouring for leaving his family for side missions since the doggy crisis arc, and it’s not surprising that one day it has finally become a problem that could endanger his family main mission.
[Manga spoilers after the keep reading link]
0. The Beginning: “I will start a family for Operation Strix”
As early as in chapter 2, his side mission almost destroyed his pact with Yor:
Chapter 7 establishes that Twilight would miss some of the family activities because of his spy job.
The penguin chapter further establishes how busy Twilight in fact is. He’s away from his family a lot, and his family doesn’t really blame him because he looks as if he’s dying when he finally goes home.
This is the first time he brings his family with him while being on a side mission. It’s really about work-life balance balancing the two missions. Hence, we see how the idea of Loid “for the mission” Forger is conceived in this chapter.
Even so, Twilight doesn’t necessarily feel guilty to be constantly away from his family because of his side missions. He’s just blindly falling in love. We all just didn’t know how much he would hold onto this stupid excuse as if his dear life depends on it later on.
1. “For the mission”: the Doggy Crisis Arc ~ the Tennis Arc
The doggy arc, basically another side mission Twilight had, is the first arc to reveal his internal conflicts among his mission/family. This is also the first time he really worries about his side mission affecting his family life main mission. Understandably, since he’s literally summoned when he’s in the middle of a family activity.
On one hand, this is the first time we see how he refers to the Forgers - not in spy terms, he simply calls them his family.
On the other hand, it is really the first crisis that forces him to step back and reevaluate his relationship with “his family”.
He consciously knows he should choose his missions over his family - in the next panel, he told himself this is for the “best future for everyone”.
He should certainly prioritise his missions, side missions included, over Yor and Anya, right?
In the manga the panel (in Short Mission 2) in which he has a drink with Franky happens before the doggy crisis arc. But it doesn’t really matter if happens before or after the arc. The incident only confirms that what he’s thinking about has been right all along: that he can’t afford to really have a relationship with Anya or Yor. At least for now.
This point onward, Twilight is slowly revealing his true identity as a character - the unreliable narrator.
He has been a cool liar from the very start, but he was easy to read. It’s quite straightforward that he’s falling in love with his new family before the doggy crisis arc. It’s very easy to decipher what he really means judging from his expressions.
But at some point, he has decided to pull back and simply starts lying to himself. He starts to find excuses to justify his actions when it comes to his family. His worries over losing the family have been interpreted as fears of failing the mission.
This is really when the “for the mission” joke comes to shape, because it’s glaringly obvious to others that he’s SOOOOO in love.
What he says doesn't match up to how he acts:
The Tennis Arc is really the first arc a side mission really creates a tangible threat felt by both Yor and Anya. A side mission that could really take "Loid” away from this family.
But he has created such a strong excuse for himself to maintain the Forgers’ family continue the main mission, he has never considered carrying out his mission in ways other than the only way in his mind - to do it with Yor and Anya.
(Of course, logically, Anya has already been enrolled. Everyone, especially people in Eden, knows that Yor is the mother. The Handler feels fine about the progress. There is no reason for him to change his mind.)
And he feels fine hiding in this comfort zone he’s created for himself, while doing stupid things like this:
Yes. We all see how swimmerly your main mission is going, Twilight.
2. For what mission: the cruise arc ~ the backstory arc
The cruise arc is interesting in many many ways. For Loid, it is the first time Endo takes away his stupid excuses. It is also the first time he shows guilt for leaving his family for other stuffs - and he doesn’t make up excuses for that.
It is first hinted when they had their first dinner on the cruise (Chapter 46).
We know that there are times he would be home late for his side missions and stuffs and miss dinner for that - “You miss dinner all the time”. We also know that if Yor is late, Loid and Anya tend to wait for her to have dinner.
This is the first time Endo shows us the hint of loneliness he feels when he is the one left alone. This could have added to the guilt he felt later when he had to leave Anya behind.
This time it’s not even his side missions that pulled him away - it’s his “for the greater good” goal. The realisation that he feels guilty for “abandoning his family” for other crises immediately throws him into a loop.
What is this family: a mission or something else? It is quite a dangerous revelation - he’s still had his priorities straight after the doggy arc, but towards the end of the cruise arc, his guilt is almost too noticeable for him to justify his action of “abandoning his family”. He quickly retreats and this is what he told the Handler:
As if we all don’t know he’s an idiot:
After tearing down his “for the mission” excuses, Endo went on to show who Twilight is, and more importantly, what his mission really is. Twilight was abandoned by the world, and in turn he abandons the world to work on his mission.
It has never been about WISE or Westalis. Even less about Operation Strix. It’s always been about what this little boy has lost.
The question if Twilight will ever be able to abandon the family always creates tensions, even among readers. And it’s even sadder to see that he would have to abandon Anya for the greater good - that the same thing has to happen again. A vicious cycle of abandonment issues.
But the difference is Twilight couldn’t stop his family and friends being taken away from him, and he could never get them back ever again. But for Anya, they are pretty much still here. Despite the fact that her parents have always had to leave for different missions, they come back to her.
Now of course this could just be something she sees via Bond. Anya is somehow weirdly optimistic that if Twilight doesn't know about the secrets of Yor and herself, they’ll be fine. She’ll just try her very best to complete the mission, and the family would just stay together.
Twilight, on the other hand, is the one who’s harbouring guilt for being away from them too often. With this guilt that is created by the side missions, and a bigger fear of “failing the mission” (whatever that means), now we have come to the bus arc.
3. Retreat and progress: the bus arc ~ now
Twilight and Yor didn’t appear for the most part of the bus arc. Yor was simply kept in the dark, and Twilight was again on a side mission. He wasn't there until Chapter 75. All we know is that Twilight got back in time, brought another colleague with him, and sneaked into the strike team.
Now Endo left a lot of unresolved questions in this arc: how did he know? How did he get back? He went directly against the Handler’s order:
Sneaking into the strike team is the direct opposite of staying behind the scenes.
And after that we get bits and pieces of him being a good father: he bought a new car and decided to drive Anya to school instead. He brought Anya with him to a meeting with the Handler because she “really wants to play”. He’s actually very careful with what Anya eats, and is mindful of his sugar intake. It’s no longer for show - why on earth does he have to show off to his boss?
Bits and pieces of descriptions or evidence of how affectionate he really is has been deliberately placed in short conversations/dialogues since the bus arc started.
I said “deliberately”, because everyone on Endo;s team, including Lin and himself, would have known what the audience wants. Look at the merch. Everything is about the family being very happily together. And Endo just wouldn’t give us that.
If we look back, the side missions are just practice runs of him leaving - in every arc, at some point he would have to leave to solve a crisis. And every time he comes back with more and more guilt.
He has grown from this man who got the penguin so he could pretend that this was a happy family, to the man who gets his family cakes after he finishes a mission. He went from doing it for show, to actually lamenting himself for abandoning his family for other things.
He knows the side mission is taking him away from his family. And then the bus arc happened while he’s on a side mission. And this time, when Yor’s trying to have a conversation about him being away too much, he has to leave. For the mission.
Right after Yor accuses him for abandoning his family for work.
I’m just saying that’re really a lot of coincidences if Endo’s not up to something.
I still don’t know if this arc will make up for all the deliberate void Endo has created. Maybe. But I’m just very excited to see what happens next, and how he deals with his relationships with Yor and Anya.
#spy x family#sxf#spyxfamily#agent twilight#loid forger#just ending this very quickly because I'm tired lol#guilt
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i saw ur nightheart posts and i noticed u hate him quite a lot and im curious for the reasons why! i hope it doesnt sound rude! its a genuine question out of curiousity not an attempt for you to justify ur opinion, personally im aloof when it comes to nightheart i think hes just an edgelord tbh
nah you're not rude dw i get it. tbh i don't hate HIM as a character, i mean he's kinda annoying but whatever. instead i hate everything about him as a written extension of the authors and their views. nightheart isn't real, and doesn't have opinions but they authors do and they speak thru him to a young and volatile audience that might not know better. (which is also why i don't buy the "unreliable narrator" thing)
they twist the female characters around him to fit their narrative of "poor misunderstood sadboy" surrounded by "cruel mean women". squirrelflight, sparkpelt and even finchlight already had personalities, squirrelflight especially is known for bending rules for what she views as "the right thing", so why would she turn around and scream at him for wanting to change his name? why would finchlight, in one book, support his name change and stick up for him, only for in the next book to completely turn around and call him disrespectful and selfish. they needed to create more drama for him. before his warrior ceremony, he pulls off dangerous stunts trying to show off during his test, and it ends up blowing up in his face and fails, and he doesn't see this as HIS failing, he blames squirrelflight and his mentor for "expecting more of him because he's related to firestar" which??? and for that plot point to be given to him instead of his mother sparkpelt who is multiple times described as the spitting image of firestar? but she's like, totally fine with it. she's never given anything to do ever until she becomes a mother, (except disagree with alderheart like once and be the "rude misunderstanding woman" for his story too.)
and speaking of mothers... sparkpelt lost her mate as she gave birth, two heavily traumatizing things happening simultaneously. she had post-partum depression for a while, which is a serious and debilitating illness that KILLS people. yet she was still able to feed the kits, she didn't abandon them. they had plenty of attention from their family and from the other nursery cats. they were never once neglected. she was only out of commission for about a month before squirrelflight helped her back on her feet but that doesn't matter, because for the narrative, (and by the fandom) she is treated like a horrible abusive mother who neglected her kids on purpose. which. first of all crookedstar couldn't even LOOK at his daughter for the first week of her life and he is heralded as nothing but a loving father. second, nightheart goes on and on about how she left him and how she is hardly his mother because (lilyheart? i dont remember) one of the other queens helped raise them for the first month. the erins tie the worth of their female characters to how good of a mother they are, and any deviations from the nuclear family with a working husband and a housewife are automatically bad in their eyes,( yet they killed off ferncloud because she was "too annoying" for being a loving nursery mom.) (also think about how anti-adoption they are. the second the po3 secret was out, suddenly brambleclaw and squilf were never their parents despite literally raising them) they are horribly misogynistic, and their female characters are just pawns for either manpain or to be baby machines. this doesn't even begin to touch on how boy crazy the female protags have been lately, bristlefrost was interesting at first but eventually just turned into a wife for rootspring and then fridged for manpain, and sunbeam suddenly deciding shes in love with nightheart even though he stalked her and creeped her out???
adding on to this point, during ashfur's takeover, sparkpelt is EXILED from thunderclan (after being mauled by dogs, and by who she believes to be her father btw) she BEGS imposterstar to let her stay because of her family but he refuses. finchpaw chooses to go with her mother but flamepaw stays behind. then in his POV parts, he goes on and on about how she walked out on him!
again, nightheart the character: not real. he's a puppet for the authors to speak their misogynistic rhetoric. i would LOVE if he was just kinda a whiny emo dirtbag, or an actual unreliable narrator and whenever he complained everyone around him rolled their eyes and was like "ok nightheart" . remember that scene in meet the robinsons where bowler hat guy is telling his tragic backstory and he's talking about ppl at school and his narration says "they alll HATED me" while everyone in the scene was like "hi goob cool binder!" or "hey wanna come hang out with me later?" THAT'S (hilarious) but also what an unreliable narrator is. if that was nightheart it would be so funny. but instead, he HAS to be right, he HAS to be mistreated by all these mean horrible women. sorry for ranting, i promise im not mad at you.
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The top two characters will be eligible to proceed into the bracket!
Propaganda under the cut.
Skitter:
Do you know what you have to do to hurt someone in a fight if your whole power is “controls bugs?” It’s never pleasant. And this is a girl with an almost pathological drive to fight people theoretically much stronger than her. Much maggots-in-eyes and spiders-on-dicks ensue. Committed to being a hero initially, ends up becoming warlord of a whole city while defending it from super-poweeed spree killers, monstrous kaiju, and timeline-severing mobsters. Saves humanity through mass mind-control.
Shes so fucking morally ambiguous I don't even know where to start. She wanted to be a hero and then over the course of 1.7 million words she tricked me into thinking she was rational and ethically sound when she cut out someone's eyes, held someone's dying son hostage in front of them as leverage (she was killing the son), put maggots in someone else's eyes to eat them slowly, shot a fucking toddler with no hesitation, and she's such an amazing unreliable narrator that you root for her. She's genuinely so good at convincing herself that she's morally sound that she convinces the reader of it as well most of the time, but despite the atrocities (and there's a fucking ton of atrocities) she's genuinely a girl who wants to do good and help the world. She fights serial killers, provides food and water and shelter for people who need it, gets her back broken trying to save people, and is generally willing to do whatever it takes to help no matter what that entails. She's a girlboss who is terrifying and determined enough to kill god, she's willing to do anything for the greater good, she has a fucking orphanage as the bottom floor of her supervillain lair. She's so so complicated and such a twist of good and brutality and I cannot stress enough how compelling and morally ambiguous and girlboss she is. I have never seen a character who fits the title "morally ambiguous girlboss" more in my entire life and frankly I doubt I will, no one does it like her.
she went from aspiring hero > supervillain > warlord (still a supervillain) > hero > mind-controlling every cape in the multiverse to kill god. and she did kill god. so. girlboss. but on her first night out she used her bugs to bite a man's dick off. that man? trying to kill kids. those kids? teenage supervillains. she initially joined their teen supervillain group to betray them to the heroes, then joins for real. their boss kidnapped a preteen girl and got said girl addicted to drugs. he used a heist taylor was in as a distraction to kidnap the girl. taylor becomes a warlord and does all sorts of awful things to the other gangs in the city (including putting maggots in a guys eyes, and carving another man's eyes out (bug dick guy) (everything grew back)). the reason she did this? so she could kill her boss and free the preteen girl. She's taken over the city at this point, she's a warlord running a supervillain gang. what's she doing with this power? improving the city's infrastructure. she runs her territory like a panopticon, if anybody who can work isn't working they get the bugs. she's also running an orphanage out of her home. she decides to step down as warlord and join the heroes. while she's in custody, what does she do? that's right. kill superman via dry land drowning in bugs. now she's a superhero. she does stakeouts and pursues gangs to force their younger/more sympathetic members into superheroism. why? to fight the end of the world. the end of the world comes, god is killing every earth in the multiverse and things aren't looking good. what does taylor do? she asks a bio-kinetic who got sent to supervillain alcatraz for sister rape to give her on-the-spot brain surgery. this brain surgery lets her control any person within like 18 feet of her. she uses a portal guy to manage to ensnare every cape in the multiverse and unite them in her fight against god. One cape has a stress induced aneurysm. how do they ultimately defeat god? she makes large-scale replicas of his dead wife everywhere, making him so sad he becomes killable. girlboss. (sorry this was so long! i started and then just kept going. worm is 1.68 million words long and a lot happens in it)
Holy Shit. Holy SHIT dude. She rotted a man's dick off with spider venom. and then she did it again (it grew back). and then she cut his eyes out. this is the first guy she meets. she mutilates *so many* people. one time she withheld a life-saving epinephrine shot from a dying man (he was allergic to bees. she controls bees.) as extortion material. she shoots a baby (it was a mercy). She cut a girl in half (which was actually pretty high up there on the "most heroic things she did" list). She was Seinfeldian rivals with the most dangerous serial killer in existence, until she trapped him in Hell Forever. He's like still there by the end of the second book. she kills God by bullying him to death. All* of this was probably the best thing she could have done in the situation. the tagline of the book is "doing the wrong things for the right reasons." The worst thing she ever really did was to pretend she was straight though.
Did she kill an orphan? Yes. Did she put maggots into a man’s eyes? Yes. Did she do all of this while having intense homoerotic tension? Yes, and that is why she is a girlboss. She also killed Jesus
Tattletale
She has a power and her power is being an asshole. Her supervillain name is Tattletale because she will not shut up about things you didn’t want the world to know. I mean yes she does try to save people but she’s mostly saving them because less people means less lives to ruin!
Miss Militia was submitted without propaganda.
Bonesaw was submitted without propaganda.
#poll#tournament poll#qualifiers#worm web serial#parahumans#wildbow#taylor hebert#skitter#lisa wilbourn#tattletale#miss militia#riley davis#riley grace davis#bonesaw#wormblr
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Yuuri Katsuki: the importance of being earnest
There’s a reason that trying to write “fan ascending” is an extremely hard trope to get right, because so often the ‘ordinary Marty Stu’ pairing with the superstar has this air of author wish fulfillment to it that can ring a little bit false.
It’s also why Yuri!!! on Ice is brilliant, because it nailed the fan ascending trope. How did it do this? In a couple of ways.
First and foremost, Yuuri Katsuki is not an ordinary fan. He’s an unreliable narrator who is a Japanese superstar without the ability to see that about himself. He has every bit the ability of Victor Nikiforov, just with much more of it stored up in his potential rather than results and blocked by his anxiety.
That though is not why Victor fell for him. And not why it felt so damn real to see Victor fall for him. Because Yuuri’s power was in who he was inside, and how he dealt with/handled Victor Nikiforov becoming his coach, and importantly, the massive difference between how Victor predicted this arrangement was going to go, and how it actually went.
Victor remembers the drunk and moony Yuuri begging him at the banquet, and then skating Stammi Vicino. In Victor’s “always be camera ready” existence, he probably saw the Stammi Vicino skate as a brilliant marketing strategy, Yuuri making clear he was serious and asking again. And Victor, who was burned out and needed something new probably laughed and said “he got me.”
But… as we know, Stammi Vicino was not about luring Victor to Hasetsu. It was a genuine Yuuri trying to find the things that could bring his love for skating back. It wasn’t meant to be a public call to Victor at all, and so when Victor came and expected cameras and social media and look at me Victor is my coach! He got… something so entirely different.
He got a front-row seat to what it looks like when an entire hometown has adopted their local skater as a collective son.
He got a front-row seat to a family who loved their son and supported him no matter what.
He got a front-row seat to what happens when sincere hard work and friends who care about the person not the persona band together to help someone reach their potential.
He got I want to eat katsudon with you if I win, instead of I want you to declare to the world that you are my coach.
And for Victor, I think this was a shock.
Yuuri didn’t even fathom the idea of telling the whole world that Victor was coaching him (which we watch Victor decide to do).
Yuuri worried about how he was going to afford Victor’s coaching fees, as if Victor really truly was a celebrity coach, instead of a skater looking for a new way to be inspired.
One scene I have always adored is Victor complaining to Yuuri about coach seats being cramped on the way to Beijing. We know that Victor would easily have flown them both in First Class and not thought anything of it. It means that Yuuri was insistent that he pay for himself and his coach to fly to Beijing. I’ve no doubt he also insisted on paying for both his and Victor’s hotel rooms.
It’s also why the purchase of those rings is so profound. Because Victor knows that Yuuri budgets carefully. Yuuri bought those expensive rings for himself and his rich boyfriend, needing to pay them off in installments, without so much as glancing back at said rich boyfriend about finances. Victor recognized the profundity of the gesture.
And to Victor? Here was a person who made it so plain that he had no intention of ever taking advantage of him. Yuuri’s entire desire with Victor was for Victor just to be himself. Yuuri didn’t need a “oh look Victor is my coach look everyone.” He was over the moon that his idol was there teaching him. He didn’t want a fake kiss and relationship, he wanted a Victor who freaked out when he screwed up.
It meant that Victor who do you want me to be to you? Nikiforov’s mask slowly eroded away. And he found that Yuuri relished in the real Victor. And that it felt good being the real Victor.
All because Yuuri just wanted to eat katsudon with him when he won, insisted on paying both his and Victor’s way when it mattered.
Yuuri wanted Victor, and only Victor. The real one. And in every action, every decision, that Yuuri made, he reminded Victor of that.
It’s a master class to people attempting to write ‘the fan and the idol’ stories. Yuuri wanted Victor the person, not Victor the persona. And in every action, he reinforced that for Victor.
No wonder Victor fell so hard.
#yoi meta#victuuri#viktuuri#why yuuri and victor are perfect for each other#yoi the fan ascending trope done right
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