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#i have context for that part if y’all are curious
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The room is beyond opulent. Diamonds and jewels glitter from every surface, embedded in the dozens of intricate murals covering the walls. Chandeliers dangle from the endlessly high ceilings.
It’s the shining example of luxury. Its very existence is a direct insult to every poor person alive.
Keith hates it.
He’s not alone, he doesn’t think. Pidge, Hunk, and Allura are looking around in awe, mouths gaped, but Lance is — tense. His dark eyes flit around rapidly, never once settling for longer than a few seconds, taking in every part of the room (well, if room is the right word — this stupid court room is the size of fucking Texas). His jaw is clenched, and his hands are forcibly relaxed. His centre of balance is shifted, and he’s even standing straight.
He’s prepared to make a quick exit.
Keith exchanges a wary look with him. He doesn’t trust this kind of royalty, either. Anyone who hoards this much wealth and has their people so blindly loyal is up to something.
“Announcing his Holy Eminence,” booms a voice, accompanied by the sharp sound of a staff striking the marble floor.
All of them startle, but Keith and Lance reach reflectively for their bayards before realising with dread they were confiscated so they could make an appearance.
Fine. It’ll be fine.
Hopefully.
He and Lance have relaxed, marginally, by the time a boot steps through the gilded doorway. Even if the king’s entrance hadn’t been announced, Keith would have been able to guess: the boot is made of rich, supple leather, and what looks like solid gold. The rest of him glides into view, and he’s positively draped in riches — precious gems sewn carefully into richly dyed fabric, created a sort of armoured corset. He wears a heavy lace veil, his eyes the only part of his face visible. His crown is inlaid with more diamonds than Keith has ever seen in one place, and they once took a mission in a diamond mine. Keith wonders how many people starved so the king could wear his crown.
The king stands before them, towering above them from his place in front of his throne — an altar to himself.
Lance shifts beside Keith, balancing on the balls of his feet — like he does before he’s about to strike. His head is tilted, eyes narrowed and calculating.
Something’s wrong.
“Our king, in all his grace, has granted you an audience,” speaks the same guard as before. “Bask in his glory, and thank the gods for his benevolence.”
The whole thing is so sinister that Keith feels his very blood sour at the heaviness in the air. The rest of the paladins have lost their wondered expression, replaced with the same wariness Lance and Keith are wearing. It’s been a long time since Keith brain screamed danger! at him with such volume, and he was stuck where he stood.
They fought for this audience. This planet, for all it’s strange stillness and plated gold, would be an excellent ally. They need to make nice with this king, they need to win his favour. Tales have been spun from either end of the galaxy of this man’s greatness, of his power, of the worship he deserves. No one will speak his name, tongue too heavy with the title.
It’s wrong, wrong, wrong. But even if they wouldn’t appreciate the allyship, they would come here, insist on an audience — they must meet the man who has millions of millions of people worshipping his very shadow.
The king slowly lifts his veil. His smile is placid, pleasant, and does not match his eyes — there’s a crookedness in his blue irises.
Lance makes a strangled choking noise once his face is revealed.
The king smirks. He takes a heavy step towards Lance.
“Hello, son of Hestia. It’s been quite some time.”
“You,” Lance snarls, and there’s so much animosity in the word Keith actually startles. He’s argued with Lance more times than he can count, and there’s no one he’s known who can spit an insult like Lance, but gods above — Lance has never sounded like he wanted to kill someone before.
“Me,” says the king, and he sounds taunting. Keith looks at Lance in confusion, but his focus is still as a corpse, entirely on the king.
Lance says nothing. He’s stiffer than Keith has ever seen anyone, muscles trembling with how hard they’re clenched. His brown eyes flash, bitter as burnt coffee grounds. The air between him and the king is thick enough to suffocate.
Lance tilts his head back. His gaze never leaves the king, but he addresses the room, the gathered guards and nobles and peoples.
“This is your king?” he says, and his voice is no louder than usual, but it rings and echoes. “A coward who ran from his own world?”
Startled gasps pile over each other, horror and offense in equal measure on every face.
“Lance,” Allura hisses. “What are you talking about?”
The king laughs. It is filled with mirth, but devoid of any warmth. Keith is reminded of an orca, laughing and cackling as it chases its prey to exhaustion.
“Is that how you speak to me after so long, Leandro? I’ve missed you. Is there no love left in your heart for me?”
Lance takes another echoing step forward. The whole court is as tense as he is. He has commanded the attention of each of them, Keith included.
He is no scared prey, fighting for his life.
“It dried up when you left me to die, πότης αίματος,” Lance spits.
Keith doesn’t recognize the word. It doesn’t even register on the translators. It’s in no language he recognizes, and by the looks of it, no one else does either.
Except for the king. The word sends a flash of anger in his eyes, so brief Keith half believes he’s imagined it, before his expression returns to insufferably smug.
“That’s no way to address me, boy.”
“Do not tell me how I will speak to you.”
The king laughs, stepping down from his throne. He approaches Lance, stops centimetres away from him, and grabs Lance’s chin before Keith can think to stop him.
“You’d think a child of Hestia would be more mild-mannered,” he coos, and Keith starts at the title.
That’s the second time he’s addressed Lance in such a way. He doesn’t know what it means.
“Quiet, like she is,” the king continues. “Soft. But you’re nothing like her, are you? Except for your eyes. Big and brown and soft, just like hers.” He trails a hand down Lance’s face as he says it, and Lance looks seconds away from biting it clean off.
Keith almost wants him to.
“But no. You take after Marcela, don’t you? That attitude had to come from somewhere — of course it comes from the filthy mortal. You’re her mirror image.”
“That’s how genetics work, dumbass,” Lance bites out. “Gods, you’ve just gotten dumber, huh?”
That wipes the smug look right off the king’s face. He tightens the hand on Lance’s face. Keith lurches forward on reflex, but as soon as he moves dozens of guards are pointing their weapons at him.
Keith grits his teeth and stays where he is.
“I will warn you again,” the king says, and the threat is clear in his voice. “You watch how to speak to me. I have given you everything you are, Lance. Everything you can do is because of me. Show some piety, or I will show you how quickly I can take it away.”
Lance spits in the king’s face.
“You have no claim over me.”
Before Keith or anyone else can move or even blink, Lance swipes the King’s feet from under him, pinning him to the ground with a bronze spear he produced from nowhere.
The guards move at once, each of them shouting, half of them keeping their weapons trained on the paladins and the other half moving towards Lance and the king.
“Lance!” Hunk shouts. “Step back! What the fuck are you doing?”
“Unhand him, paladin,” a guard orders.
Lance only laughs.
“Have you become afraid of me, προδότης? You need your whole cavalry to keep you safe, you precious thing?”
The king snarls, and snaps his fingers. In a second, a green ring of raging fire encircles him and Lance, cutting them off from the guards, who shout in alarm.
Cutting them off from the paladins.
Pidge swears.
The king moves quickly, twisting his arms under Lance’s spear and shoving him off. Lance uses the momentum to flip himself backwards, landing on his toes, weapon outstretched.
“There we go,” he taunts. “Now this I missed.”
“You are as weak as you are ungrateful,” the king hisses, encircling Lance. “After all I have done for you. After everything you learnt from me.”
“You left me to die. I learnt nothing from you that I wasn’t forced to teach myself.”
There’s real emotion in the words. A rage that can only come from a deep hurt.
The king picks up on this.
“If I took you everywhere, you would never be able to stand on your own,” he says with a sharp smile. “You’d never be able to talk, if I always spoke on your behalf. Leaving you to fend for yourself was the best thing I could have done for you.”
Lance snarls, stepping back to the very edge of the ring of fire. He swipes his spear through it, and flames lick immediately up the handle, enveloping the weapon in tongues of flickering green. Keith feels something lurch as the flames curl around brown hands.
But Lance doesn’t move. He doesn’t even flinch. The fire has burned three of the guards who’ve come too close to a crisp in seconds, but Lance is still as it dances on his skin. His lips move rapidly, voice a murmur too quiet to hear over the roar of the fire and panicked shouts of the courts. He closes his eyes, brows creased as if in pain, and when he opens them again, they glow — flickering in time with the flames.
“You have made a grave mistake,” he says, and these words are impossible to not hear. They ring throughout the court, quiet and deafening in equal measure, unlike any sound Keith has heard before.
But the voice is unmistakably Lance’s, if only tinged with a power Keith feels in his bones.
“I am not the boy you left behind.”
Lance lunges forward, and the flames explode in a flash of blinding light.
By the time Keith blinks his eyes back into working order, the room is in chaos. People are shrieking at the top of their lungs, trampling over each other in a desperate bid to escape. Most of the guards have abandoned their posts — Keith can’t blame them. The flames have made this room sweltering, and have lit the ornate tapestries are on fire. He can barely see Lance through the brightness of the flames, only flashes of a bright spear as his limbs move in a flurry of speed that’s almost inhuman.
“We have to get Lance and get out of here!” Pidge shouts over the panic, and Keith agrees.
“I’ll get the bayards!” Hunk says, just as loud as she is.
Keith nods, tilting his head at Allura. “Allura, get Blue ready to take us back! Pidge, you see if you can get word through to Coran for an emergency extraction! I’ll get Lance! Go!”
They all rush to comply, and as soon as they’re out of sight, Keith turns back to the ring of fire, squinting.
“Lance!”
Nothing. If Lance could hear him over the roar of the flames, it would be a miracle.
Keith swallows roughly. He’s going to need a miracle.
Hey, Red, he thinks, and even his thoughts are shaky. I know it’s been a while. But I could use some of your flames, girl. Your paladin is in danger.
There’s nothing, for a moment. The time stretches, but Keith pushes back his despair — he has to have faith. He hears his father’s voice in his head. Shiro’s.
Lance’s, even.
Sometimes, Akira, you just have to trust what’s up there.
Patience yields focus. You can do this, kiddo.
Black trusts you, and I do, too. Come on, Samurai. I’ll follow where you lead.
All at once, a burning feeling blazes through his mind — Red. She’s as warm as she’s always been, the terror for her paladin making her burn hot.
Go, she urges. I will keep you safe. Save my cub. He has blocked me from his mind.
Keith can’t help a wry smile. Oh, how the turntables.
Trusting Red, he rushes forward, straight through the flames. He clenches his eyes shut — trusting, but scared.
When he opens them again, the flames are behind him. In front of him is Lance, agile and quick, unleashing a constant barrage of attacks on the king. The king’s heavy robes are torn. There’s a burn, blackened an raw, on half his face. His crown has been ripped from his head, crushed to pieces beneath Lance’s heel.
Lance is worse. Keith hardly recognises him with the swelling of his face and the blood covering his skin. He is still wrapped in a blaze.
“Lance!” Keith yells.
It does nothing. Neither man looks up, although Lance stumbles. Just slightly, the smallest roll of his ankle, but it’s enough — the king snarls, grabbing the wooden end of Lance’s spear, spinning him around, and pulling him in a chokehold, pressing the blade to his neck.
“All this power and I still bring you to your knees,” the king snarls.
Keith rushes forward without another thought. He has no weapon, and the king is twice his size, but that’s Lance in danger — Keith can no more ignore it than he can ignore the breaking of his own heart.
But Lance doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t even struggle. He only leans his head back, eyes turned to the sky, and starts to chant.
θεά της εστίας, εγγόνι της γης,
στρέφω τα μάτια μου στον ουρανό,
σε ικετεύω να απαντήσεις την κραυγή μου,
για τη δύναμή σου σε παρακαλώ,
για την προστασία σου σε λατρεύω,
προσφέρω τη θυσία μου και παρακαλώ για τη χάρη σου,
δώσε μου τις φλόγες σου για την κόλαση τον εχθρό μου που τοποθετώ.
It’s again in the language from before. Keith shouldn’t understand a word he says. He couldn’t translate them himself, and he already knows the translators cannot manage them.
But he doesn’t hear the words. Lance’s lips are moving, and he’s speaking, but the words don’t echo through the room, to be picked up by his ears: the words settle in his brain. There’s nothing he can do to avoid them.
Goddess of the hearth,
Grandchild of the earth,
I turn my eyes to the sky,
I beg you answer my cry,
For your strength I implore you,
For your protection I adore you,
I offer my sacrifice and beg for your grace,
Grant me your flames, to hell my enemy I place.
Lance whips his head to the side, intentionally slicing his cheek on his own blade. Blood drops down his face.
“No!” the king shouts.
The second the blood drops to the ground, the king turns to ash. The flames extinguish. Silence settles around the marble hall.
Lance’s eyes, however, still glow.
“Let’s go,” he says, picking up his spear. He twirls it once, sliding it down his back as if sheathing it, and it disappears.
Keith doesn’t move.
“Keith, we have to go,” Lance urges. “Before the guards regroup and everyone sees what happened. We have to go.”
Keith only states at him.
“Lance…?” His voice is hoarse, he can barely force out the words.
Lance’s brows crease.
“I know it’s insane. I’ll explain later. We need to go, though, okay? Now.”
Keith nods mutely, because what the hell else can he do but move forward?
“Everyone else is headed towards Blue,” he says, forcing his voice to work.
“Great. Let’s meet them.”
Lance grabs his hand — gently, Keith notes, and his hands are soft, unburned. Covered in blood, but somehow unaffected by the flames.
Lance breaks into a light jog, tugging Keith behind him.
Keith shakes his head. He follows.
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Call Sign: Sharky (Platonic)
Part 1, part 2 part 4 part 5
Sorry if parts repeat like some people noticed. There’s not much I can do about it and it seems to be a glitch with the keep reading line. My posts are long and I don’t wanna clog people’s pages so y’all will have to deal with it
Also thank you all for your support!.
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The topic of your Call sign is often ones that’s discussed with confusion with 141
Each time you were asked you’d come up with a new story something like “dad was a marine biologist”, “I was raised by sharks sharkboy style and was taken in by the military” or “I just wouldn’t shut up about them”
It leaves all them confused and silently curious
Call signs most of the time have meaning to them
Now some can certainly be stupid or embarrassing but they get them for a reason and Sharky is a specific one
One that came with you when you had found yourself transferred over to 141
One that came with you when you had found yourself transferred over to 141
One that came with you when you had found yourself transferred over to 141
One that came with you when you had found yourself transferred over to 141
One that came with you when you had found yourself transferred over to 141
Which had meant that only you and your past squadron knew that meaning
And meant ghost, Soap and Gaz we’re clueless as to getting it except from you
Price is not it the same situation as them, partially because he knew your past captain
In fact he’s good mates with him, they had used to serve together before climbing both their ways up the ranks
Even got your recommendation from him
But when he decided to ask the question of your Codename he didn’t really expect that it had more than what meets the eye
“Your wondering about their Codename?.” He questions looking over to Price whom sits beside him at the bar. Price nods, making his old friend laugh a bit and add “I’ll have to give some context first before we get to that point”.
“Context of what?”
“Oh, of when they first joined”
When you had first joined you were much different to how you were now
You were a shy little thing, less confident to how you were now. Downright afraid of the others on your team
There was a very clear and tall wall you put between yourself and everyone else no matter how they tried to reach through to you
It took a long while but after some time one of them had gotten through to you
Salamander, but everyone at the time called him Sal for short
He was an a older soldier, mid-50’s with a wife and kid
It’s that reason why he was able to connect to you, having experience with a child of his own
He showed you the ropes, helping bridge that gap between you and the others
You began to open up more, talking in hushed mumbled before they evolved to full on discussions
You knew a lot of weird and obscure facts, stuff most of them hadn’t known about
You specifically talked quite a bit about marine life since a few of them were ex-navy and you thought that would be funny
It admittedly was especially when you joke that “you’d think they’d teach you about this stuff when your at sea” and “maybe I’m more navy than you guys”
It was nice, you were opening up and some had even began trying to debate each other over call signs for you
They weren’t really sure what to give you yet but it was the mission that finalized it
“The mission?”
“Yeah…the mission. What gave me their name”
The mission was ok at first, that’s the main thing you remember about it
No initial panic just clear waters both figuratively and literally as your footsteps crunch down on golden yellow sand
But then like a nuke dropping everything went to shit
It’s blurry to your mind what had initially happened but you ended up hiding behind some washed up driftwood
Sal was beside you clutching his neck as you did your best to keep him from bleeding out
The shrapnel lodged in his neck was too deep, blood pouring through your fingers as you pleaded with him to hang on
Your vision was blurred by tears as you watched the life drain from him
He often talked about his wife, his kid, and yet he now laid here beside you. Forgotten in the sand as your hands shook
Something came over you, that primal urge that every living creature had in times of peril
The urge to survive no matter what
Your adrenaline was running high, the pops of gunshots making it worse along with the red that began dying the once yellow sand
Your breath is getting quicker as you begin to see red
And then you can’t remember what happened other than the overwhelming feeling of panic and the urge to protect
When the haze over your mind cleared the pungent taste of iron filled your mouth and clogged your nose
You feel shaky, almost as if your entire body was hollow
taking a step back you almost trip over something, making you stumble a bit as you look down to see the dead face of the enemy staring back
Pure terror is twisted on his once moving face that bows stuck in the perpetual horror he died while feeling
Your attention is drawn away when you hear your captains voice, it cuts through the static that muffled the crashing waves and squawking pelicans that sounded so distant
His hand is on your shoulder, his eyes staring down at you with worry as blood dribbled down from your lips
Your dazed and confused. Eyes wide and pupils blown out
“Captain what happened. Why do I taste blood?” It’s such a simple question but it shakes him to his core, you sound so afraid. Like a kid
You are a kid compared to them but this just makes it more obvious
The remaining part of the squadron both injured and tired watch on as their captain talks to you gently
Your shaking like a leaf, blood drenching you as he draped an arm over your shoulder and walked you towards them
You don’t stare at your teammates though, you instead stare at the once blue water that was turned scarlet red
Off in the distance you see the distinct shape of a fin or two poke out from the water
The crashing of the waves felt louder despite the fact you walked farther and farther away
Rolling in and retracting back out in a cycle
You notice near a body in the sand two fingers, discarded and bloodied and a memory flashes in your mind
The enemy, captain, scuffle, bite, spit out, kill, safe, move on
It now explains the blood that isn’t your own that you spit out
You fill in the blanks about what happened by asking your teammates afterwards who are nervous to answer
Seemingly afraid to send you into a panic attack after learning what had happened
Apparently you went apeshit on the enemy, to the point the team did barely anything as you did the brunt of the work
You used your pistol, when you ran out of ammo you used the empty gun and your knife
At some point one had grabbed the captain, was about to put a bullet through his head before you intervened
The human jaw despite how weak it is compared to the bite of something like a dog or a big cat, it’s much more powerful than we give it credit for
Exerting up to Around 125 kg of force or 162 lbs per square inch
Usually something like this doesn’t happen much considering you’d have to get through skin, tissue and tendon but you had done it via your adrenaline
You bitt off the guy’s fingers, not one but two and then spat them out
You then killed him, his body dropping down to the sand just like his fingers did
It’s what earned you your nickname Sharky
You see
Shark attacks are much less common as one would think compared to how their portrayed in the media. Sure, they do happen but it’s less likely for one to be lethal
Your more likely to be killed by a deer or mosquito than a shark
They usually attack when provoked or when confused after mistaking a human for a seal
They dislike our flavour, so after an attack they usually discard us after the initial bite
Much like how rare a lethal shark attack actually is in comparison to other animal related deaths it’s rare that someone can bite off someone’s finger
And like a shark you spat it out
Thus your clever nickname given to you by your teammate Kansas after remembering your ramblings of the aquatic sea creature
“It just kinda stuck after that” he says taking a sip of his beer before placing it down onto the countertop, his thumb circles it’s rim as he looks down into the gold liquid. “Their a good kid. Their happy right?” It comes out as somewhat hoarse, he’s more choked up than he’d like to admit.
“Yeah, their happy. Hasn’t been a day I hadn’t woken up to find them with a shit eatin grin”
“Good. Funny how they’ve brightened up from such a shy kid.”
He pulls back from his chair, placing down his cash plus a small tip for the bartender who accepts it eagerly
“Good to see you again Price. I’ll keep in contact” just as he’s about to leave he adds one more thing “ps, they write about you a lot”
“Write?”
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captainwholecake · 1 year
Note
May I have a headcanon for Ace, Law and Luffy react to having a s/o who is a smart scientist???
a/n: Law would be into it tell me otherwise
warnings: Ace and Law being into it with no context given what so ever
——
Portgas D. Ace
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* someone please tell me where this is from exactly because it’s so fucking cute I love him 🥺🥺
This himbo of a man would absolutely be into it
He would think of it being fucking cool
Absolutely wil brag about how smart his s/o is too
Strongly into the lab coat
most likely would try to get his s/o test shit on him and they would be like NOO
like that child having a knife vine/meme type of bullshit
I imagine it would like dexters lab situation with dexters sister being ace and all
Probably be in the corner when his s/o is working on stuff
the small part of me who loves seeing this man sulk is in tears rn
Marco and Thatch definitely had to physically hold him back so he doesn’t bother his s/o a few times
Thatch would want some science action to see if would make his cooking *chef kiss* level like isn’t already
I believe he steals his s/o lab coats
Trafalgar Law
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* y’all see that tiktok of someone saying every time they draw laws hands they want to you know to put c*m coming off his fingers and its to the CONNOR! military sounding audio or whatever ? Anyways
Couples who science together say together
HES A DOCTOR HE DOES HALF THAT SHIT ANYWAYS
Would still be really into it tho
Probably because I see him being really into trying to use him doctor shit on his s/o and it not working because you know but despite that he’s really into it for some reason
Law and s/o definitely joined forces for certain things like idk meds
he started wearing lab coats and shit because of them
AJDJEJD I’m imagining him talking to Rosie or some shit in this head going see what you did to me you bastard you got me
Penguin and Shachi definitely tease him for this
(Looks up shachi to make sure I spelled his correct) (sees what happened post wano 🫥🫥)
Bepo just confused and only ikkaku of all the other members knows whats up (SHES A QUEEN OKAY)
I genuinely don’t know what else to say OHHH
Do you think he would tell his s/o about his white lead disease
Monkey D. Luffy
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* the moment I find where this is from its over for you bitches
this himbo but not the same level as his brother would think it would the coolest fucking thing in the world
LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME IM WRONG
Chopper and his s/o are besties no context needed
*loud banging fist on table* Do you think he would wrap his hands around his s/o’s waist or you know something like that and ask them everything but in a really polite way because he’s genuinely curious about it ????
I DIDNT PLAN TO SIMP FOR LUFFY IN THIS LISTEN TO ME ON THIS PLEASE
I feel like every one on the crew would be surprised expect for robin and jimbei (that reminds me I need to repost a reel I saw on insta related to my robinxfranky agenda)
Wears his s/os lab coats for fun (like wearing your s/os jacket you know)
AJDJD IMAGINE during the time Law was with them after punk hazard and hes sees Luffy wearing one and is majorly confused
He’d probably think he was going crazy then nami or someone explains to him the situation
I feel like I made Luffy’s more like Ace and Ace’s more like Luffy with how they would act
Uhh their brothers so it doesn’t matter
All around, mans would love his s/o and their profession for multitude of reasons
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thecatslug · 3 months
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I, Strahd: Depression, Psychosis, and Mental Health
Today I am going over how and where severe depression comes up in I, Strahd (1 and 2). We’ll look at what is wrong with him psychologically, explain the ‘diagnoses’, and go over where this can be seen in the novels.
In I, Strahd (1&2), two forces completely sway every facet of the story: The Dark Powers (TDP), and Strahd’s own fractured psyche. The former can be shooed to the realms of DM knowledge, but the latter casts a shadow over all of Strahd’s actions in the novels.So, when examining these books, we must either ignore his mind and get an inaccurate view of events, or deep-dive into his mental-health and learn to view the novels with such a lens in mind.
Welcome to Series 1; Strahd’s crippling depression
“Blackness surged up and clouded my brain for a time. This had happened before and was now becoming more frequent. I had thought it was simple illness before realizing it was but another part of my growing despair." (I, Strahd, p. 125)
Table of Contents: 1 -> Disclaimers to cover my ass and content warnings to cover yours 2 -> The actual essay on his depression (what y’all are here for) (a) we’ll tell you what is up with him (b) we’ll explain the ‘diagnosis’, (c) we’ll finish with where we see this in the novels (i.e., our reasoning) 3 -> Our sources, further reading, and resources 4 -> My rambling authors note
== Disclaimers and Content Warning: ==
My background on the subject: I am by no means a professional psychologist, but I am in training to be one. I also have extensive experience in writing for mentally ill characters, and neurotically strive for accurate portrayals. Indeed, it has become somewhat of a side hobby to prep for and run NPCs that grapple with themes of mental illness; a core theme which is present in most (if not all) of the games I run. Beyond this- haphazard “resume” if you will, I personally fall into the category of what some people term “severe mental illness”. I have bipolar II disorder, which is characterized by periods of extreme depression and mild (hypo)mania. Unlike bipolar I, which is characterized by full-blown mania. And, while every person is different, and this by no means denotes expertise, sometimes having an inside perspective sheds a lot of new light on the media we consume.
Disclaimer: What this is: The essay below is purely for entertainment purposes for nerds who enjoy literature and this setting. It is meant to be a supplement for DMs who write for Strahd, and an interesting insight for everyone whose curious about the NPC. What this isn’t: The content below does not reflect everyone’s experience with the disorder, nor is it meant to be a professional info-dump. My word is not law, nor is it claiming to be 100% professionally accurate. This is also not professional advice nor a guide for those struggling with mental health. If you are struggling with any of the difficulties described below, I have resources in section 3 to take a poke at.
Trigger/Content warning: We’re talking about severe mental illness in the context of ravenloft. It’s already a bleak topic and now just wrapped in depression: the game setting. Because we’re using I, Strahd (1&2) as our main focus, I have to put in a CW for suicide. Because we’re covering depression in these books, there’s a general CW for the topic, along with a CW for discussions of psychosis and agitated states. (TL;dr: Suicide, depression, psychosis and agitated states)
== I, Strahd: Diagnosis, Explanation, & Reasoning ==
“Secret and safe in some hidden cache within me, the blackness was always ready to rush forth and resume gnawing at my soul like a starved monster.” (I, Strahd, p. 125-126)
{ I } ‘What’s Wrong’ Strahd likely has major depressive disorder (MDD) with mixed-features and psychotic features.
{ II } ‘What this means’ [1] Depression is far more diverse than most realize. It is not merely feeling extremely sad, exhausted, or melancholic. Nor is it always coupled with suicidality. Depression is also not only isolated episodes or only long term/persistent. For some people it can come episodically (MDD), for others it can be lowgrade and chronic over time (persistent depressive disorder (PDD)), and some individuals can suffer from a mix of both. Symptoms can also ebb and change over time, some individuals may go into remission, others may have increasing severity or begin having chronic issues, etc. etc.
(TL;dr: depression is pretty diverse so leave preconceived notions at the door, and remember that Strahd’s issues don’t reflect everyones struggles.)
Below I’ll be talking about two ‘features’ in depression. Mixed-features and psychotic features are essentially ways to describe a sub-cluster of symptoms that individuals can suffer from during depressive episodes (namely with MDD). An individual who suffers from various depressive ‘features’ might not suffer from them during every single depressive episode.
Finally, I’d like to note that an individual does not have to suffer from every single symptom to be considered depressed or to fit the criteria of certain features. Instead, there’s usually a minimum number of symptoms that must be met, alongside making sure context is taken into account, and how much those symptoms impair an individual’s functioning.
[2] Mixed-features (aka ‘agitated depression’)
Individuals during a mixed-features depressive episode experience the ‘usual’ depressive symptoms. They can feel: Hopeless, apathetic, struggle to enjoy life experiences/unable to feel pleasure (anhedonia), feel extreme sadness or low mood, etc. However, alongside these usual depressive symptoms, they can experience: Racing thoughts, extreme physical restlessness, a chronic sense of being ‘on edge’, become impulsive, suffer from angry outbursts, and more.
A good example I’ll use is from my own experience with mixed-state depressive episodes, to help give the gist of how this looks:
Mixed-feature depressive states, for me, felt like my skin was crawling. I couldn’t stop thinking, my thoughts became a jumbled stream that needed to be vented or I’d explode. I felt constantly ready to snap at people because of that inner tension, coupled with a severe inability to simply feel happy, to enjoy anything, to have the motivation to even consider talking with or dealing with people. I felt miserable but, instead of simply wanting to curl up and sleep, my mind and body turned me into some depressed knockoff sonic. I couldn’t sit and not in a hyperactive sense, but in the sense that the inner tension was pushing me into a state of constant pacing or activity. When I’m depressed, I tend to cling to escapism to try and ride out the gloom. During a mixed state, escapism takes on a frenetic quality. I have the energy to do things and need to vent the restlessness. And, I have the impulsivity and lack of mental clarity to launch into clearly stupid endeavors as if they were the most logical thing in the world. Mixed states are like running down a steep slope while sleep deprived. Gravity is pulling you forward, so stopping quite literally isn’t an option- even as your body screams in exhaustion. To people externally, you look like you’re simply a runner- you’re not curled up in a puddle of tears like the titular picture of depression. But, internally, it’s all still there- the apathy, the misery. Except even you don’t necessarily have a moment to focus on the sorrow- because you’re too busy half tumbling down the mountainside.
(¹Individuals with depression (namely MDD) and individuals with bipolar disorder can both experience ‘mixed-features’ during depressive states. The difference is merely that individuals with depression don’t have separate manic episodes. Basically, both disorders suffer from depressive phases and those depressive phases can sometimes come with ‘mixed-features’.)
[3] Psychotic features (‘psychotic depression’) Depression with psychotic features is very different from the psychosis in schizophrenia. Psychosis itself is not a disorder, it is a symptom cluster in which the brain loses contact with reality. Psychosis generally presents with delusions (thoughts or beliefs that unlikely or untrue) and/or hallucinations (these can be visual, auditory, tactile, etc. or a combination).
The difference between depression with psychotic features, and schizophrenia is that individuals with schizophrenia experience psychosis even when they are not depressed. An individual with MDD with psychotic features experiences delusions and/or hallucinations only during their depressive episode.
These delusions and hallucinations can be mood congruent or mood incongruent. That’s a fancy way of saying they can either relate to depressive themes (death, personal failure, guilt, etc.) or they do not relate to depressive themes.
A more ‘typical’ example of psychotic depression would be an individual with the symptoms of depression (low mood, lethargy, feelings of lack of self worth, hopelessness) alongside psychotic features such as being fully convinced they are to blame for an event, or that they are going to die of a disease.
{ III } Reasoning: Where we see it in the book
[1] Depression in general Strahd, in general, is a rather blunt, deadpan, and nihilistic person. He’s an introvert, whose sense of humor generally consists of dark cryptic jokes or dryly bitching about some aspect of life. However, despite his- and most Barovians’- gloomy predispositions, there’s still a distinct difference between ‘Strahd just being Strahd’ and ‘Strahd is currently a dumpster fire’. (I.e., we can’t simply pawn off his ‘struggles’ as mere quirks of personality).
Furthermore, Strahd’s depressive issues are not isolated to after Barovia was slurped into ravenloft. Tatyana dying wasn’t simply what made him sad for eternity. This issue, was preexisting.
The following quote from I, Strahd (1) is a solid foundation for where the depression factors in before the fall of the demiplane:
“…my passion for war and obedience to duty had swept me from the home of my childhood, never to return. I had not seen my younger brother Sturm grow up, or been there for Sergei’s birth or for any of the thousand other joys that a man might take from the heart of his family. I had not even been able to attend the burial of our parents, four years past. Their deaths had occurred during the height of a particularly close and bitter campaign, and I could not be spared. I’d yet to see their graves. In some part of my mind, they were still alive as I’d last seen them three decades ago; Sergei’s presence had driven home the fact that this was not true.” (I, Strahd, p.64-65)
In the early book, before Tatyana is even in the picture, Strahd has a tendency to go on these wordy internal monologues about rather dark topics or observations about his life. He also has a pattern of these smatterings of melancholic, irritable, or angered internal commentary all cast in a very nihilistic haze. In a sense, there’s a lot of documented intrusive thoughts or preoccupations that get stamped aside to deal with whatever bullshit he’s currently tackling.
(And remember, as this is his journals’ narration, he’s very actively describing his thought processes from recent experiences. Along with scribbling down side commentary in his usual, rambling, stream of consciousness style.)
The quote I chose above^ is from an exchange between Strahd and Sergei. It’s one of their first times really ever speaking with each other one on one since Sergei’s arrival. It mostly consists of the pair making small talk about snippets of their past apart. Strahd, being Strahd, kicks the conversation off with a very dry joke about their dead parents. From there, it’s mostly downhill internally even as the spoken and external aspects of the conversation are rather mundane. It’s several pages of deadpan bitterness mostly consisting of commentary on their differences in upbringing and Strahd remarking on how, in comparison, he’s really lost a lot of what Sergei has (namely innocence and the ability to produce serotonin).
Exchanges like these are what I know a lot of people read as Strahd being self-absorbed, whiny, and self-pitying. And that’s exactly what it is! Except, the cause isn’t fully just selfishness.  
By the start of I, Strahd- our titular future dark lord has come off of essentially a lifetime of combat and into the static peace of a dawning rulership. He’s spent a lifetime shoving things aside in order to keep moving forward. Now, those thoughts are catching up with him.
For, indeed, the exchange above blatantly admits that he’s barely even processed the death of his parents four years ago. Sergei's arrival is merely a catalyst after what has likely already been a steadily declining period for Strahd. Sergei puts into perspective a lot of things he’s never dealt with- and does so amidst a period where he’s already beginning to backslide. After all, It’s hard to try avoiding thinking about your complete loss of innocence and loveless childhood- when you’re standing next to the family member that isn’t traumatized.
As a person with depression, I can vouch firsthand for how self-absorbed one can become. And whiny. And self-pitying. You get stuck in your head as everything begins weighing you down- to the exclusion of the outside world. So, as ‘whiny’ as his exchanges can appear, they’re understandable. These are his inner thoughts and ruminations on topics which are already deeply depressing on a normal level. And the ruminations spiral further and further out of control as the book goes on.
[2] Mixed-features From this point on, things go downhill- and go downhill fast. His side-commentary rants grow more and more frequent as he begins to ruminate further and further on various topics. Externally his mood takes a bit more of a sour turn, to the point that he even notes the vaguely concerned commentary of others.
By the time Tatyana enters the picture, he’s stuck in his head. After she’s on stage, his behavior becomes objectively abnormal and worrying. He becomes obsessive, to put it mildly, and erratic.
In mixed depressive states (and in hypomanic/manic episodes for bipolar folks), there’s a symptom cluster I’ve held off on covering until now (for dramatic effect, ofc): - Increase in energy or goal-directed activity - Increased or excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences
For those in a mixed-feature depressive episode that suffer from these symptoms, you’ll see an ability to commit to and methodically complete some goal. They’ll have the energy to do so and do so with almost neurotic abandon. You’ll also see them plunge into extremely risky activities or set off towards goals that are clearly a very bad idea. The way I like to describe it is that, in such a state, self-control goes out the window and everything seems like a totally plausible and great idea. It’s like removing the brakes from a car that’s heading down a mountain. There’s no real stopping. There’s just steering towards whatever looks best.
I, Strahd, Part II, chapter 4 is possibly the best unintentional literary portrayal of a mixed-features depressive state that I’ve ever come across. We see him obsessively working to find some sort of magical solution to his Tatyana problem. The recounting of this event coincides with a stream-of-consciousness commentary that grows more out of touch with reality by the minute.
It begins with a blowout fight between Strahd and Lady Illona. Lady Illona attempts to confront Strahd about a previous blowup he’d had over Tatyana and Sergei gifting expensive jewelry to a peasant. The previous exchange had already been uncharacteristic of the man but his fight with Illona- though it openly ends with minimal damage- was internally out of left field.
“Anger such as I’d never known before burned through me from the bones outward. I felt that if I held on long enough to the chair arms, they would kindle into flame from the heat.” (I, Strahd, p. 121)
His rambling internal thought process transitions from his irritation with Tatyana to a convoluted path of fractured logic. I’m going to give you a very janky outline of the thought process which spans the first 5 pages of the chapter, to exemplify the racing thoughts and erratic behavior:
Tatyana+Sergei give necklace to peasant -> peasant may just be taking advantage of their charity -> [insert spontaneous angry outburst] -> [Insert another spontaneous angry outburst] -> she shouldn’t have done that because it was stupid and I also gave them the necklace -> she’s naïve and needs guidance from someone that’s not an idiot -> You know whose also an idiot? Sergei -> yo sergei might actually just get completely shivved for being too nice -> God that’d be really sad for Tatyana -> damn they’ll be leaving after the wedding -> I could convince them to stay -> god I’m fucking jealous of Sergei -> God I really like tatyana -> [>out-of-nowhere paragraph about crippling depression<] -> one page of random observations about the castle rn -> Alek fun facts -> you know what alek got me once? Books, magic books -> [*Immediately tangents off to go neurotically study them*] (I, Strahd p. 119-124)
Strahd is a strange person overall. However, he’s not this strange. Not consistently, at least. In the book, before Sergei and Tatyana were on scene (i.e., before his mental state began to tank), we really don’t see any behavior to this degree of unhinged. The writing itself also physically becomes increasingly more erratic as his mental state declines. The way his prose is structured, especially during Part II, Chapter 4, fluctuates rapidly between rambling paragraphs with barely cohesive themes to short staccato sentences of random thought and observation.
(TL;dr: he wasn’t this weird before. This abrupt shift is abnormal and is telltale evidence that he’s in an altered mental state)
[3] Psychotic features I hesitated adding the section at first, because this is where the lines between reality, psychosis, and magic blur. However, after a great deal of agonizing over my Word doc, I decided to keep this section in.
Because of the nature of psychosis, and because the only recounting we have is from his point of view, we will never be able to truly know what was, and was not, the product of The Dark Powers (TDP). Specifically, this dilemma arises when discussing hallucinations. However, it can also be seen in certain delusions as well.
Before the point in the chapter where voices begin to speak to him out of the darkness, we do see signs of preceding delusional thought processes. This is yet another blurred line; as the racing thoughts and impulsivity of a mixed state and the beginnings of a truly delusional belief intermingle. The latter certainly evolved from the former. What was likely the impulsive internal ramblings of a declining mind evolved into a cemented believe that is utterly out of touch with reality. Of course, I speak of his obsession with Tatiana and his perception of her. Though, I think we can all agree that it worsened in warped closer to the wedding he drew. And, after the wedding, became irrevocably nonsensical.
What I do not term as delusion is his idea that resorting to dark magic was the best way to deal with his “Tatyana problem”. This more exemplifies the “rationally irrational” thinking of a mixed state. There is still a grounding in reality. Using dark magic is a realistic option, it does avoid having to actively do something horrid to other people (or, it did initially).  However, it also runs the risk of irrevocably fucking him over in some unseen, cosmic way. But, this is where the impulsivity comes in. The brakes are off the car. That road looked like a good idea in the moment, even though he flew straight past the ‘cliff ahead’ sign.
““That’s a very old book, you should handle it more carefully.” The voice- coming from everywhere and nowhere- took me cold.” (I, Strahd, p. 129)
Throughout the rest of the chapter, and then the rest of the book, and then the next book, and, ultimately, the eternity of his existence– voices periodically surface during his deep depressive states.
I would certainly term the hallucinations, if that’s what some of them are, as mood congruent.  They arise in moments of true despair or panic during his less than lucid states. Tatiana’s death, for example, elicits a truly horrifying internal cacophony of laughter and other skin crawling things. Indeed, these moments are among the most chilling across all of the Ravenloft Dark Lord novels. And, or certainly the most chilling and I, Strahd (1&2).
Strahd certainly suffers from depressive delusions, that is some thing I personally don’t see as up for debate. Indeed, this rambling paper alone barely scratches the surface of examples in the books.
Hallucinations, however, are lost in a grey area that even I cannot wholly detangle. So, the best we can afford is speculation.
(TL;dr: he meets the criteria for depression with psychotic features overall, but whether or not he hallucinates is up in the air)
Are they Hallucinations or TDP? I will keep this section short, because it is speculative in the end. And, I encourage y’all to puzzle it over yourselves, as it is a truly interesting dilemma.
Personally, I do think he may have moments of hallucination. However, TDP can easily latch onto these moments and make them far far worse. They can also keep him guessing as to what is him going mad and what is their meddling taunts. A lot of his ‘hallucinations’ are dark powers, especially during the events surrounding the wedding night. Afterwards, however, there are certainly moments that I could see being merely crafted by his own despair.
The second novel, one which I find to be the most entertaining comedy in the Ravenloft pantheon, begins with a suicide attempt.
I’m not going to recount this in detail or put quotes in, the novel is accessible online if you’d like to read in detail, however, essentially consists of Strahd throwing himself from a high place after the death of yet another Tatyana.
This moment is significant in Ravenloft 2e’s history, because it is the first time we learned that a dark Lord cannot die. However, is still a suicide attempt and the imagery and auditory hallucinations surrounding it  are subtle enough to where they could very well be sourced merely from his own mind. And not the dark powers.
Suicidal Ideation in I, Strahd: War Against Azalin Rounding out on a happy note, I wanted to take a brief moment to talk about the aforementioned suicide attempt. In the latter half of the first novel, Strahd essentially spends several years in a deep depressive slump locked in his castle. Thoughts of despair are rarely far from the page, however, we never see any active attempts to end things. This changes in the second novel and sets an unsettling precedent.
In the grand scheme of things, his initial attempt takes place fairly early in the history of 2e Ravenloft. Indeed, he hadn’t even met the likes of Madam Eva. And this is worrying, because it sets a precedent of suicidal ideation and self harm practically from the beginning- long before adventurers even have an inkling of the mists, let alone find themselves ensnared by them.
Into “modern nights” he likely still struggles with such tendencies during depressive episodes. After all, Strahd is in an environment which actively seeks to eviscerate everyone’s mental well-being. Because of this, it would essentially take an act of god to wrench him from depressive cycling. But the gods cannot save you in Ravenloft, especially not in second edition¹.
And so, Strahd is left with probably the most unseen aspect of his curse: the inability to truly be free of despair.
== Sources, Further Reading, and Resources ==
🦇Ravenloft Sources: I, Strahd: The Memoirs of a Vampire. P.N. Elrod (1993) I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin. P.N. Elrod (1998) ¹Domains of Dread. William W. Connors & Steve Miller (1997) 🔬Non-Ravenloft Sources used: (I suggest poking the links in yellow for further reading if you're curious!) - American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). doi link - Hooley, J. M., Nock, M., & Butcher, J. N. (2021). Abnormal psychology. Pearson. - Koukopoulos, A., & Koukopoulos, A. (1999). Agitated depression as a mixed state and the problem of melancholia. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 22(3), 547- 564. doi link - Gillette, H. (2021, December 22). Agitated depression: Definition, symptoms, and treatments. Psych Central. Website link - Major depression with psychotic features. Mount Sinai Health System. (n.d.-b). Website link - Black, R. (2022, September 14). Psychotic depression: What it is and what you should know. Psycom. Website Link
🧠 Mental Health Resources: Feeling agitated, scattered, or having low mood doesn't necessarily mean one is suffering from a depressive disorder. Life is rough, sadness and rough patches are part of the gig. However, if you, or someone you know, are considering self-harm or experiencing suicidal ideation, you aren't alone. I am not a professional, but here are immediate resources: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a day at 800-273-8255. Text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
== My Obligatory Rambling Author's Note ==
Hey, congratulations on making it all the way through! Have a croissant 🥐 I've had this post in the works for... 2 years now? And I will say, I'm glad I waited to scrape things together. I've gained a lot of perspective and knowledge which has helped me hone this... rambling word vomit into a cohesive(ish) form.
"It wasn’t until college that I realized why I, Strahd had almost eerily familiar undertones to it all. Indeed, the prelude to that fated wedding gave almost a strange sense of DeJa’Vu when reading it for the first time in late high school. After I was diagnosed with bipolar II during the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I finally had the words and context to realize why things looked so eerily familiar. The sudden erratic turn to a goal or obsession out of left field, the nights spent feverishly, methodically, hurtling towards some clearly delusional doom as if it were the most logical thing in the world? I’d seen facets of it before many, many times. And I’d also seen the crippling, self-destructive, anguish of deep depression." (Scrapped draft, p. 9-10)
All of us have that one character in literature/film/tv that's just... special or impactful. Whatever arcs or journeys they've followed have somehow personally touched us and come at an important time in our lives. They're special in a way that's hard to articulate. Unfortunately, Strahd happens to be mine- and it's largely because of the everything^^^ mentioned above (minus the psychosis, I thankfully have been spared that struggle).
I have yet to come across another character that struggles with mixed-features in depression, to this degree. But beyond that, I also bumped into I, Strahd (and Strahd as an NPC via the CoS module) when I was in high school. This was a time where I was beginning to subclinically cycle through lowgrade depressive and hypomanic episodes. It was a very dark time, and that hot mess of an NPC happened to be one of the few things that was more of a hot mess than I was. As bad as things got, especially in early college before I was medicated, at least I never plunged my house into a demiplane- ya know?
It's strange what we take small comforts in. But, it's too late to pick a different one. I'm already too deep in the vintage Ravenloft book collection to turn back now. That, and, when you struggle with something oddly niche? You take the rep where you can. Even if that "where" happens to be a generally villainous dark lord with the social graces of a irritable toad.
Any ways, thanks for sticking with this! I know it's long, depressing (no duh) and a bit incohesive. I'm a dyslexic writer, so, cohesion can be a bit difficult at times. If I have time, I will do a part 2 on analyzing his illness' implications on the books (namely his culpability in stuff). And a part 3 on writing for/running this type of mental illness, if folks are interested. I've been running this strange creature for... many years now. And have good writing samples from pbp games i've run for folks looking for inspo on how to pull off the... the everything above^
- Catslug
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doll-elvis · 8 months
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I like Priscilla and I appreciate that she has managed to keep Graceland afloat along with Elvis’s legacy but it irks me how people act like she was perfect. Everyone acts like Elvis is the sole reason their marriage failed but no one talks about how what she did, like having affairs herself
thank you so much for the ask <3!! sorry y’all this is longg
before I give my opinion, I just want to say a quick disclaimer because it’s important to acknowledge that I was obviously not apart of their marriage or their relationship and therefore my opinion is essentially irrelevant. I always find it weird when people talk about celebrity relationships with authority as though they were actually apart of it 😩, so I just want to say that at the end of the day it wasn’t my relationship, I don’t know the full truth, anything I say is just from what I’ve gathered from books/interviews
and just from what I have read, I honestly think their marriage was doomed from the very start because when Elvis married Priscilla in 1967 he essentially married a caricature version of her🤧 Priscilla created a look and personality that she believed embodied all of the traits that Elvis found ideal in a woman, and by doing so she created a fantasy that she wouldn’t be able to uphold as she grew older and became her own person. And when it comes to her and Elvis, I always felt like they fell in love with the idea of each-other, which is probably not the best foundation to build a marriage on😩 As the years went by and as they changed as people, they definitely grew apart and grew separately. I think Priscilla even said it was like they both lived separate lives
(Red West speaking on Elvis and Priscilla in “Elvis: What happened?” ⬇️)
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as for affairs, Priscilla did indeed confirm that she had an affair with her dance instructor who she refers to as “Mark” in her book, soon after Lisa Marie was born. To give context this was also when Elvis began withdrawing from her s*xually, as she tells it, because he had pause about making love with a woman who had given birth to his child. She said the affair with Mark was very brief and it ultimately made her realize she wanted more out of her relationship with Elvis. The Memphis Mafia have also alleged that Priscilla had an affair with one of the male dancers in the 68 comeback special but she hasn’t spoken on that specific allegation herself. Then of course there was her affair with Mike Stone which is much more infamous and is what gave Priscilla the final nudge to ask for a divorce from Elvis. Tbh I’m really curious to see if the upcoming Priscilla movie will acknowledge the affairs on both her and Elvis’ end… like if they show Ann-Margret and they better include Mike Stone also 😩
And yeah while she did admit to being unfaithful while being married to Elvis, obviously in comparison to Elvis’ affairs, hers were much fewer in count. But on those grounds, like you said they both went against their vows and again, I don’t think we are in any place to judge either one of them because we didn’t live the relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️
Your ask also made me think about how they were incompatible on many levels which I’m sure put strain on the marriage. The biggest one to me is the lack of interest on Priscilla’s part in Elvis’ spirituality, and books on the subject. And again I’m not placing any blame on Priscilla because you cannot force interest in a subject, you either like it or you don’t. And to be fair to Priscilla, Elvis didn’t exactly support all of her interests, like how she wanted to pursue modeling in the 60s. But there’s one passage from her book that I think really summarizes their incompatibility on a mental/emotional level ⬇️
“Although I was striving to be his soul mate and subtly becoming more aware of myself as a spiritual being, my heart longed for the very temptations he was fighting to conquer”
The very first sentence of this quote is very telling ⬆️: you don’t strive to be someone’s soulmate, I feel like you either are, or you aren’t 🤧
“As his soul mate I was expected to search for answers as fervently as he did, but I just couldn’t bear reading the ponderous tracts that surrounded us in bed every night. Usually within five minutes of opening one, I’d be sound asleep. Annoyed at my obvious disinterest, he woke me to share an insightful passage. If I voiced the slightest protest, he’d say, ‘Things will never work out between us, Cilla, because you don’t show any interest in me or my philosophies’”
Priscilla was extremely unhappy during this time and their relationship was really rocky as Elvis explored his spirituality. And in an effort to please her, he agreed to burning all of his spiritual books, which I always thought was so sad because he felt like he had to abandon such a major part of himself just to keep peace in the relationship
I think divorce was definitely inevitable for these two, and like you mentioned it’s just not fair to place all of the blame on Elvis when they both didn’t fit each other’s needs as partners
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rxgirlie · 2 months
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An Olive Branch (spin-off of The Girl Next Door) Sneak Peek
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A/N: I’m back back back again! Y’all know I couldn’t let this die just yet, so, welcome to part two. If you’re new here (hi) please go read The Girl Next Door. If you’re not new here, welcome back to the seventh layer of hell!
For context, this is about ten years after their final meeting, where Jeryd has been president for about six-ish months. I have six chapters planned so far, but I’m insane and that’s subject to change.
Jeryd gestures toward an empty table in the corner of the restaurant. “Sit down.”
Liv hesitantly sits down, still shocked and nervous by the presence of the Secret Service around them. The way they had cleared out the restaurant unnoticed by her, the chimes and vibrations from her notifications pulling her away from the ever changing scene around her, lost within aimless social media posts and emails before realizing the patrons around her simply didn’t exist anymore.
“You seriously ambushed me?”
Jeryd shakes his head. “It’s more about making sure nobody ambushes me.” He gestures slightly at the guards, then at her.
Liv rolls her eyes, replying sarcastically. “The understatement of the year.”
Jeryd raises an eyebrow. “You think this is funny?”
“In the grand scheme of things, yeah, actually, I do.”
Jeryd smiles slightly, finding a bit of humor in her response, “I’m guessing you still don’t like me too much.”
Liv hums in response, appraising him over the rim of her wine glass. He’s older, naturally, and it’s not that she hasn’t seen him on ATN, the news outlet shoving him down the throats of unsuspecting Americans during his run and subsequent reign, but it’s different seeing him in person.
Jeryd shakes his head. “I know we ended on, let’s say, not the best terms.” Liv just gives a look of “you think?”
“I know we haven’t spoken for a while. I’ve been out to dinner with hundreds, maybe thousands, of people since we last saw each other. You’re the only one I’ve ever sent my security to box in.”
Liv smirks to herself, imagining the conversation between Jeryd and his detail, wondering if they questioned his motives or had learned to jump at his commands.
“Is that supposed to make me feel special?”
Jeryd shakes his head “No. It’s supposed to make you feel confused and curious.”
Liv rolls her eyes and Jeryd smiles again at her reaction.
“Well, you got me there. What’s happening here? Why the ambush?”
Jeryd waits a second and then gets serious. “I need a favor from you.”
Tag list: @aurorag98
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cherriiramen · 4 months
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MY DEAR FELLOW MORSTON MOOTIES
What got you into the ship/what makes you ship these two?
I’m genuinely curious to see y’all’s different perspectives on this :3
For my story and I think I've explained this before, but I was hyping over rdr1 (since it's all that's available here, I was actually planning to go with rdr2 but since rdr1 was all I could get, I forced myself to play it and ngl i don’t regret it one bit) and I was looking for John reference images at like…. 3am, to use and draw him for the first time and then I stumbled across a fanart of him and Arthur standing side by side, not ship art. Mind you, I did NOT have any context of rdr2 at the time besides knowing there's a character called Arthur Morgan.
You see, the funny thing is this is where the confusion began. I thought to myself if rdr2 is set after rdr1, wouldn't that make John basically Arthur's great grandpa or something? How come people draw them together so often?' and then I was like ehhh maybe it's just some cool crossover between the two parts of the game, like how they do with gta maybe. I got carried away scrolling and it didn't take me too long to find the ship art of them basically making out and aHeM getting it on, and trust me I was fucking flabbergasted. You'd also leap out of your skin if you genuinely thought the most popular ship in the fandom is a guy and his great grandpa. 💀
l asked my boyfriend to explain the fuck was going on and thankfully I hadn't gone insane. At first we were weirded out by the idea (basically starting off with "isn't John married?' for ex.). And with me only going through the first five missions of rdr1, I thought to myself "nahhh this guy's straight he can't even bottom wym. Then we started sending each other random fanarts of the ship that we'd run across, until it basically became obsessive and before we even knew it, we roleplayed them over and over and over again.
And nearly two years later I'm still not okay when it comes to them 😭
They're so complicated I feel like no matter how hard you analyse them, there's even more you'll find, they're so sad and miserable and tragic and emotionally blunt/awkward but they can work under so many different circumstances and each way would lead to some emotional conclusion, it be sad or happy or literally anything
AHEM NOW THATS ALL ON MY PART HEHRJEHWK
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Agito Tyrone Headcanon Dump Part 1
This was mostly spurred from how little content and context there is of this guy so I’m sharing these as a way to ignite the signal flare, enjoy y’all. Gif credit to @fallinblossoms
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Agito Tyrone
Height: 6’2/188cm
Age: 22
Birthdate: February 21st
Sign: Pisces
Gender: AMAB
Pronouns: He/It
Sexuality: It’s Complicated
• Chosen by Artemis. Goddess of the wild, the hunt, vegetation and of chastity. Although he rarely calls upon her or uses his thirds due to how unstable she is.
• Vegetarian. Fish and eggs are fine but he detests eating any regular meat or meat product. Save for when he’s getting groceries to feed his pets.
• Aside from Hippo-tan, he also owns a domesticated dodo he rescued from an illegal dodo trade. Dodos have no natural predators so they become too accustomed to the presence of humans to be released into the general wild, so he adopted one and has plans on relocating the rest to a proper environment.
• Lives in a relatively cozy house(read incredibly lonely feel, I’m talking single chair for one person at the dinner table, couch and minimal decorations save for pet items he bought for Hippo-tan and the dodo. His bedroom has a similar lonely feel although he has a dresser and closet with all his favorite torture instruments on display).
• Contrary to popular belief, Hippo-tan is not just a pet dragon. I like to believe he’s actually a special kind of service animal used to regulate Agito’s magic. Similar(ish) to Tsurara, Agito’s magic is rather unstable. So Hippo-tan acts as a familiar in order to balance and control the output(hence how he’s able to seemingly transform and control his size and attacks at will, also free emotional support dragon).
• Early bird. Regardless of how late he stays up he will get up at 6am on the dot.
• Frequent church goer. Occasionally stays after sermons to help out and do charity work. Although were it not for his status as a Divine Visionary, his presence usually isn’t welcomed.
• During his time in the Bureau of Magic he helped set up a menagerie/zoo of exotic and endangered magical creatures. And yes he does volunteer when he can, it’s always a surreal surprise for the other staff when they see him.
• Despite his rather quiet demeanor and the rumors surrounding him(and his unique proclivities), he’s actually quite nice. Although most of his kind acts around the bureau go unnoticed, he’s ok with that.
• In terms of closeness to the other Divine Visionaries, he is closest with Renatus and most friendly towards Tsurara. He’s on amicable terms with Sophina, neutral with Kaldo and Orter, and negative terms with Ryoh. He’s yet to properly approach Rayne, but it seems the two are content with keeping their distance from each other(although he is curious about the rabbit rumors…).
• His mother and father are both alive and well, though it seems he’s not on good terms with them…
• Aside from regular tomatoes, his favorite dish is bouillabaisse.
• Favorite drink is water. Yes, just water. If he has to attend the Bureau of Magic drinking parties he’ll settle for a cheap ale or wine as to not get egged on by his coworkers. He’s not a very exuberant person.
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theforgottenmcrmy · 1 year
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growing strong chapter lengths?
hi everyone🖤 I’m pretty sure I’ve asked this before, but it was in a slightly different context, so I just want to put this out there to see if I can get a read of the room...
do you prefer the part 1 and part 2 style chapters, or a single long chapter?
the reason I’m asking is for the next part of growing strong. it’s likely going to be around 10k words. i split the last two chapters into a part 1 and part 2 because they were also kinda lengthy, and i didn’t want the chapters to feel as though they were droning on. but i’m genuinely curious as to what you think.
if you would like to share your opinion on this, please feel free to reach out and do so😊 i really appreciate everyone who takes the time to respond to my self-questioning posts like this😅
(ps, i love y’all sm for supporting this story🖤🖤🖤 I hope you guys have a chill af night/morning/day because you all deserve it!)
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firsttarotreader · 6 months
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Alright, y’all, so part 2 of this ask now:
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This time, I asked the cards if he might have had fwb situations with these 2 genders: male and female. Starting with the females, the Major Arcana were The Emperor, The Devil and The Wheel of Fortune.
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So, The Emperor is our dominant man, who wants to be the leader, to call the shots, and he might have wanted or had a very structured situation, like something stable, with rules, logic and "discipline". However, The Devil, in this context, shows this "discipline" wasn't followed. He might have been really horny for that person, but kind of "obsessed" and trapped, somehow unable to follow rules because it all became too addictive and possibly unhealthy. The Wheel of Fortune means there might have been ups and downs in this fwb arragement, or at least he would fear there would be, things could have changed fast, and maybe not in a way he liked or would have liked.
The Minor Arcana were the 6 of Wands reversed, 8 of Cups and 3 of Pentacles reversed. 6 of Wands reversed with The Emperor shows us that structure and discipline, control and dominance, none of that worked. Failure, probably too horny and too much of a mess to work out. 8 of Cups with The Devil is interesting because it shows him (or them) trapped in it, in a situation they both knew could not last and should end, but neither could because, again, too horny, too addictive, unable to let it go. 3 of Pentacles reversed with The Wheel of Fortune could be pointing to these ups and downs being harmful to the friendship, in a sense that they could no longer have that partnership, there was this lack of harmony and incompatibilities.
I would say that, if he had a fwb situation with a female friend, it was total failure, lol, or maybe he didn't have it because he knew it would be a total failure. With these cards, it could be that he did have it at some point, though. Again, by fwb I mean something consistent, someone he would see with certain frequency, do things friends do and then fuck and then go back to their normal lives. lol
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Then I asked for the men and the result was quite similar. The Major Arcana were The Devil, Temperance and The Hanged Man. The Devil is here, again, possibly representing him being really horny for that person, but kind of "obsessed" and trapped, and the situation becoming too addictive and potentially unhealthy. Temperance is that belief or that attempt to try and make it balanced and moderated. Like "we can be friends and fuck and all will be good, we can make this work", but nope, it would not work. The Hanged Man points to him, as usual, hesitating, "suspended", not doing anything and not willing to deep dive and "commit" to it.
The Minor Arcana were the 5 of Pentacles reversed, 6 of Wands reversed and Knight of Swords. 5 of Pentacles reversed with The Devil is curious because this might have made him feel like he was "gaining" something with that fwb situation, as if he could be getting laid and having a friend, like it was an advantageous arrangement, which could make him stay trapped. 6 of Wands reversed with Temperance means, once more, that attempt at balance was or would be total failure, a mess, like with the female friends. Knight of Swords with The Hanged Man is telling us Pedro might have preferred to be rational, and not emotional, about it all. He was hesitant for a reason, he could have thought it through and held back exactly because he knew why it would not work, so he listened to reason and hit the brakes.
Again, if he did have a fwb arrangement with a male friend, it was total failure, or he didn't have it because he knew it would be a total failure.
In the end, I would say he either tried it at some point in his 48 years and it crashed and burned or he didn't even try. That said, I repeat, I consider fwb situation something frequent and consistent that has kept or would keep going for a while.
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manzanitapost · 7 months
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absolutely loving your bounty hunter charles au and imagining the potential “and arthur— ohh, arthur needs to rest.” scene but with this very different context is making me SOOOO MAD even worse than when i played it the first time. super curious how/if Mary will make any appearances as well! fantastic job so far :)
thanks for the love anon, it makes me so happy to hear!!! tbh this au was something i’ve been thinking of for ages but was too nervous to write, i wasn’t sure how it would be received. but everyone has been so lovely and it makes me so happy y’all enjoy my silly little ideas too 🫶🏻🫶🏻
no spoilers, but for the record i would like to say a rage unleashed IS in the outline for part 6……….. what could happen…….
as for Mary, we shall have to wait and see :)
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subbyenbywitch · 1 year
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[book review] the farthest shore by ursula k. le guin (1972)
ok like, i know i kinda related to the presence of a caste of eunuchs in the previous book in ways that probably weren’t intentional on the author’s part and i don’t want to make this a pattern or anything but like… arren.
arren.
you know that genre of youtube videos that are just titled like “[character] being relatable for [x] minutes”? well, this babygirlified subby mess of a boy (who is destined to become king of all the isles i guess???) is variously described as “a gentle messenger for bad news” & “that girlish lad of yours”??? the latter comes when a bunch of patrons in a tavern ask ged if arren can sing, and after arren obliges they remark, “that’s a queer music.” and like, YEAH my dudes??? you asked a fucking subby femboy to sing??? if the music weren’t queer i would worry that something was wrong??? (yes, they’re not using “queer” in that context, but shut up, let me have this.)
anyway, this “girlish lad” meets his hero and IMMEDIATELY tries to become his sub ("as he had made his act of submission he forgot himself") and when fleeing the scene of that embarrassment turns into a boy disaster lesbian (“forgetting courtly farewells he hurried to the doorway, awkward, radiant, obedient.”) he later gets captured by slavers & chained up on a ship, there’s a curious comment about his soul not rebelling against the notion of slavery??? but anyway, ged rescues him which is pretty badass, and he later dreams about still being held captive. we’re meant to understand through context clues that these dreams are scary & unpleasant, but he never EXPLICITLY SAYS they are?
again, please don’t take this too seriously, i’m taking a character who was definitely intentionally written in some ways that appeal to me and reading WAY TOO MUCH INTO other things that were clearly NOT intended, but yeah i’m having a lot of fun with this and i love this character now, thank you for your time i will not be taking any questions.
so yeah, that was a big part of my enjoyment of the book, no lie, but like let’s just pivot i guess to the actual main action of the book and say that holy shit, this is one of the most original fantasy novels i’ve ever read??? we begin with arren bringing ged & the masters of roke the terrifying news that the power of magic has begun to fade from the outlying lands of earthsea. it turns out that they’ve been getting similar reports from other outlying lands, and arren’s report is sort of the straw that breaks the camel’s back, because whatever is happening is spreading. the archmage decides that he’s going to investigate this himself, and the only companion he’ll bring with him on this dangerous quest is arren himself.
they have some adventures while they’re investigating this that i already relayed some of, but the deeper they probe into what’s going on the scarier it gets? they find lands where not just magic, but all arts have begun to fade, as people grow obsessed with the promise of immortality promised to them by what we increasingly realize is a sorcerer who rivals archmage ged’s power. and like, it starts to sound like we’re basically dealing with a situation where ged is the most powerful servant of life & this other guy is the most powerful servant of death, and in a way that is kind of exactly what’s happening? but that makes it sound really simple & boring, which, nah! like, there’s just so much interesting characterization & worldbuilding around this, like, this is ursula k. motherfucking le guin we’re talking about, y’all! i don’t know that she really knows how to do “simple & boring.”
things escalate to the point where we find out that this evil power has even caused dragons to lose the power of speech??? arren & ged are tested in ways that are terrifyingly existential, and almost lose themselves several times, but it’s that thing where seeing these characters at their worst & most vulnerable actually helps emphasize how fucking strong they both are when they come out the other side of it still themselves?
this is exactly the same kind of “huge (in a good way), but also small (in a good way)” story le guin told in the a wizard of earthsea, and also tombs of atuan even though that one was harder for me to get into. the world faces existential threats that are mirrored in the personal threats the characters themselves grapple with, and the story is made so rich & meaningful because of this.
i’m looking forward to getting to the next book, because i know le guin is very frustrated with how male-dominated her first trilogy was, and the farthest shore is actually pretty easily the worst offender in this regard? but like, please please please don’t skip it as a result if you’re remotely interested in these books, because there’s so much good stuff in here. i’m just saying, i’m excited to get to the books where le guin feels like she rectified some of the issues she had with the original trilogy.
s-rank
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justasopearchive · 1 year
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uhmmmm.... 👉👈 im still curious about your thoughts on why you think sope has kind of drifted apart these past few years. ive been watching the two closely since 2017 and kind of went mia last 2020. only got back in the fandom late last yr so im curious about your perspective on why you think so... ive seen some sopies share the same sentiments and i wanted to get more context as to why yall arrived with almost the same idea. i already asked you this before but i noticed you still havent answered it yet. if you wont reply to this, i guess ill just take that as a hint to never ask about this topic again hehe sorry if these ever came off as delusional or anything but im honestly just curious about what happened 🥺
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Oh, of course; sorry about that, my entire Tumblr is on a queue, so I’m rarely actually ON Tumblr (except yesterday) and most asks I get are lowkey toxic shipping stuff, so I ignore it 😩
It’s not delusional at all; and if it is, I’m also delulu lol. In terms of Sope in particular, I always got the feeling that Suga had a thing for Hobi…a demonstrable thing, crush, feelings, confusion, call it whatever you want. Yes, BH feeds into the madness, but I don’t think they can fake every second on camera and he (Y) was just demonstrably happier, softer and overall more energetic with him (H).
But we stopped getting damn near any interactions a few years ago. Like. At all. Even the 2021 and 2022 memories were bare bones for us Sopies.
My theory? Sometime in 2019ish something happened and one or the other said something pretty bad to the other or feelings came to a head and someone, IDK WHO, put them on ice (I tend to think it was Hobi who wanted to chill out…idk, he just never seemed as into it). And they just haven’t been the same since then. We know they used to see each other outside of work in the past because both of them have said it and there’s photo/video evidence. Now, J-Hope says he sees Suga “in the office”; a far cry from two dudes who went to concerts together or sat around and drank at their new office.
Even Yoongi being the only one not at the JITB release party. That wasn’t sus to y’all? And, yes, I know they said he “felt sick.” But come on…he turned around and performed, in outstanding health, at the Psy concert right after that. That just looked…strange.
Anyway, I’m choosing to remain delulu and force myself to believe that they love each other and Sope is not divorced and they’ve kissed (don’t worry, I know this is all jokes and fantasy…I actually believe 5/7 of Bangtan are in or have recently been in, hetero romantic relationships).
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I’ve literally never “shipped” anyone else in my life and BTS is the only group of strangers I actively enjoy keeping up with (I don’t even watch reality TV 🥴)—so I’m just gonna hold on to this as my OTP for awhile lol
This is all just conjecture and gossiping on MY part.
Hope that answers your question 🙃
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If you or someone you know is MALE and engaegd in ONLINE DATING, please TAG, SHARE, COPY & PASTE...THIS IS A PSA.
To be fair, we’ve all gone through COVID times, maybe some have forgotten generally acceptable conversation techniques. Communication through technology also appears to give men a sense of bravery I don’t think they’d have if the same conversation was happening face to face.
I signed up for Bumble less than one week ago. For context, please understand, I’ve signed up indicating I’m looking for a relationship. There is nothing wrong with consensual hookups, but that is not my jam, and it’s clear in my profile. 
Following are just a few examples of the glory that is communicating with dudes online:
EXAMPLE 1 - opening day, first messages. 
I send: How’s bumble going for you so far?
Reply: Had some dates that went nowhere, some good sex, some bad. 
EXAMPLE 2 - different dude, he complimented my appearance
I send: Awww thanks, not so bad yourself
Reply: Trust me I’m very attracted to you. If you were here you could tell *laughing emoji* I’m guna need a cold shower just to be able to leVe my place lol 
EXAMPLE 3 - talking about plans for the weekend
I send: Sleeping in a bit, a bit of schoolwork. What about you? 
Reply: I’m balls deep in a new series so that’ll be tonight
EXAMPLE 4 - this is actually from a few months ago, when we had met for coffee after I matched with him. His profile showed he had a son around 10 years old. In person he revealed he also had a 6 month old baby, but couldn’t take her overnight yet because, “she’s still on the tit”. 
What in the actual fuck is the matter with people. I’m on a dating site. I’m not your bro, I’ve made clear what I’m looking for, and who the fuck uses the phrase ‘balls deep’ unless you’re in some raunchy shitball 90′s teen comedy. Just so y’all know, these are grown men, in their 40′s. For friggin crying out loud. 
This is the PS part of the PSA:
Have manners when you speak to a woman. When you type out what you’re about to send, read it out loud and ask yourself, if I met this lady in a supermarket, at this point in the exchange would I use a phrase like ‘balls deep’, or tell her that my latest sexual experience was less than satisfacory?  Speak to her the way you would want someone to try to court your sister, daughter, mother, or auntie. If you see that a woman is looking for a relationship, and you want to talk about your boner, send yourself the text about your boner and then ask the woman what her favourite movie or band is. Be curious about what she has to offer beyond the four photos and short bio you probably didn’t read. 
I think the old school dating agencies would be a good idea. Having humans assist in matching humans with other humans. Maybe some lady out there thinks balls deep is funny as shit. But this lady thinks it sounds like a 13 year old in a 45 year old’s body. And I’m looking for an adult. With adult thoughts about things other than sex, and a vocabulary that reaches past the confines of the Urban Dictionary. 
p.s. those pics of me are actually from when I watched squid games :)
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dewdropreader · 2 years
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WIP Party! (WIP Tag Game!)
Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs. I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? DnD campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!
I have been tagged by both @bushs-world and @insert-witty-user-name-here 😁 thanks y’all!
As usual my tag names aren’t horribly descriptive to anyone but me so I’ll give a tiny amount of context, but if there’s anything y’all want more info about or want to chat about, message/send an ask! I’m always down to chat fics!
Going from most recently opened/worked on until I hit around where I would have already discussed them in the tag game I did a few months back! 😊
1. TC- Cat Part 2: If any of y’all read my fic about Loki being stuck as a cat and Mobius finding him… part two is coming soon! ☺️ (Also TC stands for Time Crew, for some reason I decided that was the tag for any Loki fics 🤷‍♀️)
2. Loki Found Family 5- Boastful: This has been wallowing as a WIP for a while 😅 But I’ve written origins and/or void rescues for 4 of the core 5 Lokis that we know, and Boastful is next! He’s just requiring the most creativity/time because of minimal info in canon so I’m taking extra time to make sure his story is how I want it!
3. Time Crew Fic 12- Sylvie's Nightmares: This has nothing written except the blurb/description about the topic, no outlines or anything, but it’s here to be worked on at some point!
4. Found Family 8- Kid and Loki Genderfluidity: (can y’all tell I make a bunch of WIPs at once and therefore my numbered order gets wacky 😅) I actually came up with this at the end of June, hoping to write it and post it in time for Pride month, but it didn’t end up happening due to being busy and because I needed to do more research! I’m not genderfluid myself so I wanted to look into as many differing experiences as possible to make sure I do it justice. Essentially I planned to have Kid Loki realizing how some of the other Lokis express their gender and questioning how he wants to present/identify, and asking others and hearing their perspectives, then hanging out with TVA Loki and Sylvie to talk and go shopping to try different things. Meant to be all wholesome Loki support but still want to make sure I’m portraying things well due to this being a side of the LGBTQIA+ world I’m not as knowledgeable on! I do still want to write this when the mood strikes sometime for more wholesome Kid Loki content (which it will sometime for sure!)
Okay! So unless I’m missing something I think that’s actually all of them that have popped up in the last few months that I haven’t actually posted yet! More recently I’ve been coming up with an idea or two and going hardcore to work on those so there’s been less of the ones that get made and then linger for weeks/months lol.
I’ll tag @starport-seven-five @blackbirdofasgard @lgwilt and @mirilyawrites because I don’t think I’ve seen you tagged by the others who tagged me and I’d be curious to see what you’re up to!
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dottores · 2 years
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Hi Cat 👋! Woooah this latest chapter thoooooooo so much happened, I’m actually a little lost for words.🤧
The flashback was amazing, like I know you said your fave was the first one but like I genuinely think each flashback per chapter gets better than the last. Tho that could be because we get more context each time and also more interactions with the brothers which I’m fucking dying for. Speaking of you don’t know how many times I had to stop, put my phone down, and take a breather for this chapter lol, because of all the interactions we got.
The beginning flashback was such a good insight into how the brothers are so concerned for us, they only wanna protect us, tho they doing it in a dumb way. But has me wondering if they want to protect us because they care so much (which I highly assume is that) however I bet they’re just telling themselves they need to protect us because they owe us for helping them out so much. All these flashbacks showing the early stages of our relationship with the brothers just makes me so excited to finally get to see when their feelings for us come across as genuine and they understand their own feelings for us, like when it finally smacks them in the face lol.
Damn so much is going on and becoming overwhelming I feel so stressed irl for us. We’re stuck working with ppl we don’t want to, we have to distance ourselves from our fave boys, we have a whole ass ghost after us; I don’t even know how we going to get ourselves out of all this shit. When we got caught by Ran and Rindou I just wanted to cry to them and ask for help and to take us away. So glad that they instantly recognized that we were lying, and hope they stick with it too. Asdfjkl I can’t even with all the wordless conversations we had with the brothers I fucking love it, this is peak connection between characters and we love to see it. The chase scene had me hyperventilating it was so good, kinda gave me omegaverse predator and prey vibes and I eat that shit up.
I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that Hanma knows about us and the brothers, good because he doesn’t seem to want to tell on us yet, bad because he could use it as blackmail. Which if he has plans to blackmail us makes me think he’s also just here with this group with his own ulterior motives like Senju seems to have, wonder what game he’s playing cuz we all know he just wants to be chaotic for funsies. Also, YEESSSSS pls keep the jealousy over us being near Hanma and South going I love this shit so much hehehe😈 . Also, hella curious why Hanma wants to hang all over us all the time, can’t tell if he’s doing it as a way to intimidate us or make us uncomfortable to put himself in an “elevated” position over us psychologically. Or maybe he just thinks we’re hella cute and this is his odd way of flirting, both work tho I like both lol.
The explosion omg, Senju was in the basement so I wonder if she was a part of setting it off or not, I really hope she’s ok I want her as an ally😟 . Also where is our baby Ran? While I don’t believe he’s dead he could be seriously injured and I don’t want that for our boy, please I beg🥺 . I’m assuming Hanma is the one who threw himself on us since he was just beside us but still unspecified, maybe South? Hopefully, he made it back in time to help us or at least I hope so.
HHHHNNNNNNNGGGGG you’re so good at writing and dialog and expressing emotions I can’t say it enough! I love LDA so much you have no idea I’m just going to be over here crying over it till the next chapter to find out if everyone is ok. 😰😭
SOBS I HOPE YOU KNOW YOUR REVIEWS LITERALLY MAKE MY DAY 40000000x BETTER
i love writing all of the flashbacks 😭 i really like the last one tbh but i am having so much fun with the one for chapter seven omg i’m so excited for y’all to read it cuz i think it might be up there with the first one in terms of my favorite — and you KNOW ran is only telling himself that they owe us sobs but 👀👀 he’s gonna realize soon that it might be more than that hehe ;) no spoilers tho
SOBS YES man we’re so stressed n it only gets worse from here 😭😭😭 i was so so so so tempted to make us open up to them in that scene pls I WAS GENUINELY UPSET CUZ I KNEW THEY DESERVED ANSWERS but alas it had to be this way for the story to progress SOBS and DUDE rindou was so violently jealous over south it’s not even funny like he could barely restrain myself LMAO
my favorite scene for this chapter was definitely the little cat and mouse game/chase that went on between the three of them LMAO i was cackling as i wrote it it was so much fun to write
hanma hanma hanma i’m not gonna get into too much depth with him butttttttt he definitely has a big role and he has his own agenda hehe
hehe no hints about the explosion cuz spoilers BUT yes it was hanma that threw himself on us
SOBS SOBS SOBS ILYSM IM GIVING U SO MANY HUGS N KISSES
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