Just found out that the school that sent me a welcome packet of paperwork and requested my resume and gave me tons of info has come to the conclusion that they “can’t accommodate a placement right now”. After a month of pretending I’d be able to get a placement. I have been waiting literally for almost five months, the five months since I finished the paperwork finally, for the luxury of PAYING to sit in the back of a classroom for two weeks and take notes. Is there something wrong with me? Why is this such a big ask? I understand why they don’t want to let just anyone into a school with children, I totally get that, but I got a background check (an expensive-ass one), I’m vaccinated, I’ll happily get other tests or whatever, why is it such a hassle to let me do my observations? And how much longer am I gonna have to wait, and how much more bureaucracy am I gonna have to wade through, until I can do the actual student teaching that comes after the observations? Because until I do both of those, I can’t complete my degree and I can’t start an actual teaching job for actual money. Like, I might as well just go back to the Hebrew school if I’m not gonna be allowed to do my field work placements.

and seriously, if they weren’t even sure if they would be able to allow me to sit in their school, why yank me around like that before rejecting me? it feels like I did something wrong but I don’t know what