#i had so many bad opinions. i was annoying in 2018 bless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hhhongseok · 5 years

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PENTAGON: First Impressions VS Now!

since it's ptg's 3rd anniversary, and i've been an uni for over a year now, i thought it would be a fun idea to compare my first thoughts about all the members to how i think of them now! i got the idea from i got7 inspirits on youtube, so check them out if you're interested!

OT10

then:

I first heard "gorilla" back when it released, but since i avoided stanning rookies at the time- i decided to give it some time before stanning. flash foward to august 2018 where my interest is piqued again. at that time last year, i had thought that they were pretty cute but having literally only heard gorilla and then shine, i was caught off guard by their sound change. It wasn't bad per say- just different. overall, i knew pentagon would be a group that i'd like- but more along the lines of a casual thing.

now:

y'all already know how whipped i am for these idiots!!! their music and videos and even choreos are my style completely, especially their cute concepts!! we love dancing infants! and also, they're all such throughly good people which makes me so happy. this isn't a casual stan thing in the slightest, and it's funny to think I ever believed it would be.

Hui:

then:

when i saw him in shine, i thought he was a d o r k. i think it was the way they styled his hair, but i was just very convinced that he was pretty lame lmao. after that though, i saw how cute he was and he became my bias for a while. i remember thinking at one point that he seemed like an exasperated dad?? i didn't really have any basis for it but that observation was there nonetheless.

now:

exasperated dad? more like hyper 3 year old. hes literally one of the loudest and most energetic. what was i on. but i think hes the most precious and clingiest little toddler now!! i was right about the dork thing though, but its super cute how goofy and lame he is. also!! talent for days!! his dancing, singing (his falsetto is !!), composing is all incredible. the most important thing though? a godly leader. he's so caring and kind and full of love for his members it hurts me. we don't really see a serious leader hui, but thats okay because i think it means he tries to keep uni and ptg in good spirits by showing them cheerfulness. and that's amazing to me.

Jinho:

then:

my most notable thought about jinho in shine was "how is he that small". i remember thinking it was cute how he pushed the giant one too, lmao. i didn't think much else of him beyond that, other than noticing how adorable he can be.

now:

ok yeah, jinho is cute and tiny and whatever- but now i Understand the power that he holds. how he looks with his hair pushed back for example. or how about that bruno mars cover he did with hui. (hhhhnngg). also?? he's not even That small. the ones that make him look itty bitty are Literally just giants. but aside from his appearance, jinho is probably my favorite vocalist like!! i appreciate him s o much. (listen to his cover of gethsemane and last night of october for clear skin) of course jinho is also very cute though!! so i was right about that at least! he just also has many other great sides to him that i worry are overlooked!

Hongseok:

then:

i didn't,,,notice him. at ALL. like i just glossed over his existence completely when i first saw shine. and even after that- it took me a minute to pay him any mind. when i did finally notice him though, i noticed his smile. i remember i was watching videos with my girlfriend and i pointed him out to her! that was mostly because i felt bad for not really having any strong opinion on him though oops. anyways i ended up just thinking he was a mom. and i was really impressed by his english and strength.

now:

real talk, it pained me to write all of that out!! bc now?? omg hong is my everything- but thats kind of obvious. anyways!! hes so f u nn y !!! its absolutely a stupid kind of funny and hes definitely annoying but i adore it. also the mom thing is only kind of true. he has the capacity to be maternal and take care of them, but he's way more likely to make fun of literally every single member. he's more like an older brother that never leaves his siblings alone and thinks he's funnier than he is. and we hate him for it. anyways, his voice is So underrated im. angery. he has such a beautiful voice, just in general, and on top of that- his singing is lovely. like yes, more hong solo please.

Hyojong:

then:

i definitely took note of him immediately! his voice is very distinctive, and he stands out a lot in shine. which is really saying something. i thought he was really talented for sure! and i almost felt he was too cool for me to be looking at. i kind of got the vibe he'd be pretty icy i guess?

now:

he's not intimidating at all. like not even a little bit. bc he's not taking himself as seriously as i thought he was lmao. also hes so l o u d . and a plant man. but i think the best thing about edawn is his unpredictability! i never really know what to expect from him and i like that.

Shinwon:

then:

i thought he was HOT. i already thought he was handsome in the 0.3 seconds of screentime he got in shine. but a friend of mine showed me clips of him from that couples game video and. o o f. i really couldn't get over how pretty he was. it didn't help that this was the same video where him and kino were doing that dance. personality wise, i don't remember much standing out to me. other than how easily scared he is.

now:

shinwon is soooo embarrassing. i wouldn't say hes completely shameless about it though, but he's shameless to the point of actually doing the stupid shit so im. still enraged about it. he legitimately makes me physically look away sometimes when im watching a video and he's being weird. theyre all my kids, and i love them. but he's the child im ashamed of lmao. moving on, hes a real cutie pie. that fact that he gets so scared so easily is both really funny and super endearing. but he's just a playful baby and im honestly glad that hes has so much fun.

Changgu:

then:

i noticed him less than hongseok. like i dont think i had a single notable first impression of him.

now:

past dess was one entire Doofus huh. like changgu is a whole ass blessing to this planet and you mean to tell me that she overlooked him??!! anyways, though, he has an elephant heart for sure. such a genuinely empathetic and truly kind person!! he never fails to warm my heart with his sincerity and i love that about him. he's also part of the idiot squad though, with how he goes along with hong's antics. we hate that. and all his impressions + dumb faces. speaking of faces though,,, his acting?? i love it!! he's really talented, like when i watch pretty pretty i kind of forget that changgu is even playing a role. and his d a n c i n g!! underrated dance king! underrated king in general, how about that.

Yanan:

then:

my first bias in ptg!!! i fell in love with him instantly! i loved how tall he is, and the white hair and his i c o n i c "my baby"!! like i was whipped from the gate. i remember liking his duality back then too!!

now:

ok so, since he was bias immediately, i noticed more about him than anyone else. which means i have less to write oops. but thats okay because at least i had a bit of taste back then. but, yanan is hilarious. he's so clever and funny and you can tell how effortless it is. most iconic ptg sayings are something from yanan and thats just amazing. the big thing i notice now that i didn't really before, though, is that fact that his duality is so shocking because he's literally just as unpredictable as hyojong. its impossible to really tell what hes going to do next, and i think it catches people off guard more with yanan because even that aspect of him is unexpected.

Yuto:

then:

i thought he was kinda scary!! idk he seemed so cold and i couldn't really relate to that so i didn't grow very attached to him.

now:

he's so pure!!! hes said that he has a hard time expressing his feelings but i don't really see it? because he always seems so happy to be around ptg and having fun with them even if he isn't usually the one playing around!! he loves them so much tbh and its the sweetest thing :( everything about yuto is so sweet, because he cares a lot about the people around him and doesn't want anyone to get hurt- even if its fake or a joke. and like, he's really hardworking too!! ptg have said multiple times that he works the hardest, and that really is saying something imo! and like, you can just see it even without being told that. whether its his workout journey pentory or the fact that he's literally been learning guitar. also!! omg the lyrics he writes?? heartwarming, romantic and life changing!! seasons and cosmo made me a different person. but yeah, he's such an amazing, warm person and i cant believe i found him scary.

Kino:

then:

i thought he was the main vocal. like no joke, he was so charismatic and flaunting so much in shine that i was like "ah yes. the main vocalist" hhhggg. i remember thinking he was pretty though, and that his stage name was super cute. but i wasn't very interested in learning about him, despite how he really caught my eye. for some reason, though, i eventually got the thought that he was really pure.

now:

main vocal hdzfhh kino relax you're confusing ppl. of course he has an amazing voice and it always sounds incredible but!! what amuses me is the way he sings always sounds kinda like he's trying to be sexy and?? its so funny in ballads and stuff imo. but yeah, that "sensual"?? singing is what threw me off back then. buf more importantly, i just wanna mention the pure thing- because its a confusing situation. on one hand, kino has a heart of gold that not only adores uni but is also accepting. as well as how he's constantly bringing light into the world with his words and truly bright outlook. but on the other hand he's a demon that dances like That and is so dangerous when he wants to be!! so!! what's it gonna be kino, make up your mind :( anyways, listen to knnovations. esp bad timing and 224.12!!

Wooseok:

then:

i loved him instantly. he looked like an overgrown 10 year old in my eyes and that's just. precious. i thought he was pretty funny too!!

now:

if i took off my hong glasses for long enough, id be able to say that i think he's the funniest in ptg. because he's so hilarious in my eyes like? he makes me do an ugly wheeze laugh, and a lot of my favorite ptg moments involve him in some way lmao. but he is actually a baby, so i was onto something there with the overgrown 10 y/o thing. despite being really funny though, i do think he tends to be quiet more often than like hui or shinwon and he hardly ever smiles, unless he's like laughing and thats makes me think that he's kind of awkward?? not in like a bad way, but i just kind of see that i guess. but!! something that i think is passed over a lot with woo is the fact that he usually has a hand in composing, and also that he writes his raps?? like that's so cool, we love that!!

ok! so that was my lame little essay lmao. i hoped you liked if you read it all! im just glad to say that i really appreciate pentagon as a whole, and how much joy they bring into my life nowadays!! i feel like ive found a place to call my own with uni and with pentagon :)

#text: bouquet #universechallenge #wow this took forever and its kinda dumb but it was fun #i wouldnt be satisfied if i drew anything tbh

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thecrazyanimegirl · 6 years

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Spring anime 2018

And here is our review of the Spring season ^^

This is not everything we watched, but mostly things we would recommend or had something to comment. We also didn’t include some anime that had second, third etc season airing. If we missed an anime you think should be here, write it in the comments and help us complete the list ~

Remember, this is just our opinion, we never meant to offend anyone and we hope we made your decisions about what to watch next a bit easier ^^

Winter 17/18

3D Kanojo

K: I liked it at first, the main character is sometimes really relatable, an outcast otaku who is just trying to survive. And it has some very funny moments. But somehow too much drama got involved and I stopped following it on a weekly basis, but I’ll definitely binge watch it during summer too see the end ~

Neko: I like how characters are relatable and it was nice until drama came. It is still good though.

Kitsune: Watched the first episode but didn’t get hoooked on it :/

Butlers x Battlers

K: Yes, this has such typical and predictable plot. Like you know it right off the bat. But yes, I still love it (≧∇≦) The side characters are more capable than the main guy, but I like their interactions and it’s somehow really good.

Neko: The plot is really predictable, but that gives it charm, I guess? I don’t watch it for the plot anyway. I watch it because of the characters.

Kitsune: If you like good looking guys than this will be satisfying for you although the animation gets kinda weird at some points (mostly during the fighting scenes).

Caligula

K: This is definitely one of my favorites this season! I know it’s not for everyone, it’s confusing most of the time, but I like how every character has depth and they are all very interesting. The story is also very unique, I love it. Oh yea, the soundtrack is Amazing™️ ^^ (I guess I should mention it’s not for everyone because it has a lot of trauma, suicide mention, bullying...)

Neko: I love the plot and the thought behind this anime. It was really interesting and I got hooked really fast. It is confusing sometimes but I still love it!

Kitsune: Beautiful music and great plot! The characters are well developed and it makes you like even “bad” guys. Definitely worth the try!

Comic girls

Neko: I watched this anime because I totally relate with Kaos-chan. If you like slice of life with manga artists and yuri then you probably will like this.

Crossing time

Neko: I was actually skeptical about this one, I thought it will be bad, but in the end I quite liked it. It last only few minutes which is great for when you don’t have time and it is made up from different stories every episode so it doesn’t get boring. It’s great for short relaxing pause.

Dances with the Dragons

K: The story is very complex, so sometimes it’s hard to follow what’s happening because a lot of politics are involved. But beside that, the interactions between characters are amazing, it has some humor and a lot of fighting scenes. Less dragons then I though it will though. Even so, I liked it ^^

Neko: I have a feeling this story is great and really detailed, but it is really hard to follow. I think that if you read novel it is better? I think it would be really good, but unfortunately I really have hard time understanding what is happening

Kitsune: God help me with all those names and titles they use xD Also I think I tried much too hard to understand the politics in this universe than in the real world lol. I hope that the novel gets and English translation so that I will get to see more of these two’s interactions ;)

Devils Line

K: A really good romance, great fighting scenes, has some a bit more gore-y, nswf-ish scenes, but it really fit well with the theme. One of the more popular this seasons and it deserves it ^^ I love the characters. (and Miyano Mamoru’s voice in the ending song is a blessing *-*)

Neko: It has really good story and a bit of everything: romance, fighting, supernatural... It shows two people from different worlds (even different species?) overcoming all the obstacles to be together and also a lot of blood.

Kitsune: At some times I kinda felt a little bit annoyed with Tsukasa because of her actions BUT the whole anime is really good and I would recommend it to anyone who likes the combination of romance and action. The plot is deep and well explained so it’s a real treat to watch it.

Dorei-ku The Animation

K: Not the biggest fan, but the plot is interesting enough to make me want to watch more.

Neko: It’s intersting. It shows a lot of sides one person can have and how easy it is to change when you gain some power. I only wanted for the dog to get his revenge though XD

Kitsune: The idea of this anime is really interesting but I kinda felt disappointed for not seeing the complete dark and twisted possibilities that the device they use offers. Maybe the manga goes deeper into that points as the story goes on.

Dragon pilot: Hisone to Masotan

K: A really interesting idea, has dragons, amusing characters and a great ending song ^^

Neko: I really like this anime. Idea is great and it really surprised me because I really didn’t think it will be deep anime because it was really fun but it is and it is great. And it has dragons!

Kitsune: Really cute and different style of animations that made me fall in love with this anime from the start! I like it how the characters are developing through the story and cope with their problems.

Golden Kamuy

K: Even though it has a lot of killing and maybe gruesome scene, the plot is intriguing and always made me wait for the new episode with anticipation. I can’t wait for the next season ^^

Neko: I love this anime. It has a serious plot but it’s still funny. Story is really interesting and characters are really loveable! I should mention it has a lot of fighting and killing. It is one of my favorites this season.

Kitsune: Many praises to this one, it has everything that a good anime has to offer! (except for the bear in the first episode lol, poor thing looked like it came from an other dimension)

Hina festival

Neko: It’s cute and funny and sarcastic. It’s about an overpowered girl who doesn’t really know anything about life living with her adoptive father with shady business and people around them

Jikken-kin Kazoku

K: This is amazing! It really needs more popularity. I love their soft interactions. A weird but loving family ^^

Neko: I love it! it is heartwarming and beautiful.

Kitsune: A cute story about a weird family that tries to find their place in the society :)

Kakuriyo: Bed and Breakfast for Spirits

K: A really good romance, food, cute and heartwarming stories, a bunch of hot guys, actually capable and most of the time useful main girl, what more can you ask for! I love it.

Neko: This is also one of my favorites. It has similar style as kamisama hajimemashita and other slow burn romances. Characters are loveable and the story is interesting!

Kitsune: Weeee more food in animes! Also, we finally get to see some other world experience other than getting sucked into video games xD

Last hope

K: I didn’t have much of an opinion about it at first, but I got hooked with each episode even more and started liking the characters. The mecha/animal combinations are interesting and even though the villain is a bit typical so far, its a good anime. I love it more and more with each episode ^^

Neko: At the begining it was just weird, but after a while it got a bit easier to understand. I think that you need patience for this anime? I like characters so it was good enough for me

Kitsune: Have you ever wondered what would it look like if a whale merged with a bulldozer? Then this is the right place for you xD An awesome mecha anime with tons of good-looking guys is waiting just for you!

Layton’s Mystery Detective Agency

Neko: I like this anime. At forst I thought it was made for the children, but the clues are really hard to get and the cases are really original and interesting so I think it is for everyone who likes detective anime with bright character ^^

Legend of the Galactic Heroes

K: I heard a lot of bad things about it before I started watching it, but I really like it! The story is interesting, I love the battles, the characters are complex and the animation is amazing! So this is one of my favorites ^^

Neko: I am not really fan of it, but not because it is bad it’s just not my type. I don’t like when I have to use my brain too much so listening to their war plans is really hard for me XD I do love the characters and I think it is great anime if you are into this genre ^^

Kitsune: Although many had their doubts about this remake of the old anime version, I must say that I can’t see anything that could be considered “bad”. The new art style brings joy to the eyes and the story is marvelous!

Lost song

Neko: I love the story even though it is confusing at the end. It’s really beautiful and emotional ^^

Magical Girl Ore

K: Ummm, is there anything to say? Boy love, girl love, straight couples and none of the above, lots of humor, sometimes makes no sense, but is always entertaining. Sometimes I found a bit too much, but in the end, it’s a great laugh and an interesting idea for a plot.

Neko: I honestly don’t know how i feel about this anime. It is funny and weird. Sometimes it feels like a parody and sometime it looks like it has an actual plot. I really don’t know.

Kitsune: Weird. At first xD but at the same time interesting and funny. Some might call it cringey but if you get over some things this anime warps, you get an interesting story that makes you smile each time you see a girl transform into a guy xD

Magical Girl Site

K: Definitely not what I expected, but I ended up really liking the story ^^ It has a lot of blood, bullying, suicide and other thing so it’s not for everybody, but the plot is worth it all. Don’t give up after the first episode, it’s really interesting.

Neko: I like dark magical girls anime because they usually have a deeper meaning. I was really shocked at the first episode, it is really brutal, but story is really great! It has a lot of nasty stuff so I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone.

Kitsune: We all thought that there is no anime that can shock us anymore but this one definitely proved us wrong. “Cute” animations and a tad bit of yuri say that this anime isn’t your everyday shoujo story.

My Sweet Tyrant

K: Extremely cute, funny, lasts 3 minutes. Cuties (❀◦‿◦)

Neko: It is really cute and short ^^

Kitsune: very sweet short story :3

Persona 5 The Animation

K: Another of the favorites! Amazing story, characters, animation and music *-* The soundtrack is constantly playing while I’m studying. Oh, yea, you can watch it regardless of the previous seasons, but it could make you want to watch everything and play all the games, so beware ;)

Neko: This anime is one of my favorites this season ^^ I like the animation and plot. I love it!

Kitsune: Still daydreaming about seeing the game to come on the PC!

Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori

K: The best thing when you need something warm, calming and full of feelings. They are all so cute! And I really want to try their coffee... and tea and sweets *-*

Neko: I love how therapeutic their shop is! Characters are cute and they all deal with everyday struggles and eat delicious food. It is great and relaxing anime ^^

Kitsune: Food, coffee, tea and beautiful guys? I wish there would be a similar cafe in my place xD

Space Battleship Tiramisu

K: I have no words 😂 I died laughing. The humor can get too much, but it’s still hilarious.

Neko: I guess it is funny just not my type of funny. It lasts a few minutes and is made to make you laugh. I guess people will either like it or not.

Kitsune: I don’t think there was even one episode that made sense to me but the main guy is funny xD you can literary watch each episode separately because the plot in them is not that connected

SAO Alternative: GGO

K: You can watch it even without previously watching sao ^^ It’s filled with action, a lot of battles and strategies, the plot stays the same throughout most of the episodes, but it still keeps you interested so I liked it a lot.

Neko: I guess everyone who watches SAO will like this. It is in the same style only with a different story and characters. Plot and characters are really interesting

Tada Never Falls in Love

K: Amazing romance story, it has a lot of feels and interesting characters, I didn’t think I’d like a romance anime this much, but it’s really really good ^^ It also has a lot of funny and cute moments.

Neko: I think this is great romace anime. I really love characters and their interactions :)

Kitsune: A lovely and romantic story for relaxing and bring a smile upon your face. Also has a lot of cats!

The Scales of Nil Admirari

K: Since I’m an otome lover, I’ll always watch these anime and not feel bad about it, so for me, this is good! The characters are really cute and good-looking! As the episodes go on, the plot gets more ridiculous, especially the last few, but it did make me laugh (even when it probably shouldn’t) but I liked it ~

Neko: Sometimes I feel the plot doesn’t make sense, but that actually makes me laugh so I quite like this anime. I guess that people who like anime versions of otome will like it just like me.

Kitsune: A classic otome-turned-into-anime. Lovable characters and an interesting plot.

Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku

K: I love this! The interactions between the characters are cute and interesting and they can be very relatable. If you don’t mind fujoshi’s, a lot of cosplays, weird, but somehow perfect relationships, this is amazing for you ^^

Neko: I like this kind of anime so I can only praise it. If you are like anime that are everyday life romance between weird people you should watch it and if not you will not like it ┐(︶▽︶)┌

Kitsune: I have no idea what to say anymore other than what Neko and Kurohime already said xD It is good, watch it if you like romace xD

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toomanysurveys9 · 6 years

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Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? no. i do not.

Do you ever brush your teeth in the shower? i’ve done that like once.

Has your printer ever stopped working at the last minute and you had a paper due the next day? What did you do? that happened with the ones at school. i either turned it in late or something.

Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? i keep a lot to myself, yeah. i need to keep more to myself though.

Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? kayla.

Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? nope.

Have you ever tried sucrets? obviously not since i don’t know what that is.

Would you date someone that smokes? depends i suppose. like, i wouldn’t leave jake if he started smoking. however, it would irritate my asthma.

What about drinks? obviously that doesn’t bother me. last weekend jacob spent friday, saturday, and sunday night drunk.

Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? once or twice. maybe more. usually i was one of the falling around drunk people.

Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between?

eh. i guess i’m somewhere in between, depending who you ask.

Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? nope.

Person you like shows up at your house: you … wouldn’t be surprised since he lives here.

Last person you talked on the phone with? lady i interviewed with from the bank yesterday morning.

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? i’m not sure. only time will tell. if not, i won’t have any best friend.

Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? jon is 23 and ashley is 22.

Will tomorrow be better than today? hopefully. today wasn’t horrible but it’d be nice if tomorrow has a job offer.

What do you hear right now? wyatt is making noises and the kid show rose is watching.

What was the last thing to go into your mouth? mudslide from hacienda i think?

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? nope. i usually ignore them and/or the problem.

Honestly, how is your heart lately? could be better, could be worse.

Do you miss anyone? i do.

Are you waiting for a phone call? not really right now.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? i wouldn’t say anything because i wouldn’t care.

What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? again, i wouldn’t care.

What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? i enjoy it.

What do you usually do right when you wake up? feed wyatt.

Are you looking forward to anything? not really anymore.

How late did you stay up last night? past midnight. that’s all i know.

Do you truly hate anyone? close, but maybe not.

Would you ever get a tattoo? i have three and want more.

In the past forty-eight hours, have you hung out with a girl? mom and one of my sisters.

Were you happy when you woke up today? not especially. i wasn’t in a bad mood though either.

If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? not especially no.

Would you rather go back a week or go forward? forward.

Would you ever smile at a stranger? i do every now and then.

Who was the last person to text you? kyrie?

What are you doing today? no plans the rest of the day.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? nope.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? yeah. i have.

Have you ever been so bored that you started drooling on yourself? nope.

Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? depends on eating.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? not even close.

Want to get smashed tonight? not especially.

What time are you getting up tomorrow? i have an interview at the bank at 10, so no later than 9.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? some, sure. others, not so much.

Think back to last June; were you single? i’ve been with jacob over nine years, so obviously not.

How did you feel when you woke up today? i was okay. a little tired.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? i think so, yeah.

Describe how you feel right now. i’m pretty tired and frustrated.

Would you date someone three years older than you? if i were single, maybe.

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? at night.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? present and future... present probably a bit more though...

Are you okay with the life you live? there is quite a bit i want to change right now.

Could you handle living with the last person you texted? nooo.

Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? fun. no longer have assignment reading.

Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? only 4 days into 2018, but no. not yet.

If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? job i enjoy. one more kid. own a house, or in the process. happy.

Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? there’s one. otherwise, we have redbox.

What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? buffy eating a stuffed octopus i had just bought wy since it’s the last one they had.

Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? no. i’m not attractive and too many issues.

When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? usually what i know.

Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? something like that.

How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? i still haven’t.... i’m 24..

What is the last song you sang out loud? i don’t remember except it was country.

Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? to get into real estate. lol.

Have you ever been fired from a job? nope. i’ve only ever quit.

What do people tell you your voice sounds like? nothing.

What financial class are you? lower.

What poster is hanging closest to you? no posters.

What time did you go to bed last night? it was after midnight.

Do you watch any reality shows? not really.

Are you more comfortable with men or women? depends on the person. usually i’m uncomfortable with all people.

Do you think you’re fat? i know i am.

Have you ever borrowed money from someone and never repaid them? nope.

Do you have a pet cat? my grandparents do. i do not.

What is worse: physical or emotional pain? i think both can be horrible. i dislike emotional pain the most though.

How is your hair? static mess.

Who was the last person who called you? place wanting to set up a interview. kind of waiting to see how the bank thing goes.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? depends on wyatt.

How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2012? one. jake.

What are you doing for your next birthday? probably go out to dinner, same as always.

Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? lol. yeah. cos jake does that.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? no. usually you gotta work for what you want.

Last movie you watched? pitch perfect 3.

Who were you with? mom, ashley, erin, and wyatt.

Who came over last? alex.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? nope.

Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? if we have them, yes.

Favourite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. probably joey.

Skullcandy headphones, yay or nay? sure. headphones are headphones to me.

Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? not really, no.

Do you love when people remember little things about you? depends who and what.

Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? sometimes. not always.

How many phones have you gone through? quite a few. i don’t know exactly how many.

Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? no. thank god.

Do you think your future will be a good one? hope so but not holding my breath.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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callmewhisper-blog · 5 years

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13 November, 2018

Today I have almost finished my Contain The Found Object project for art. I had to borrow one of Sir Chewy’s dog bone things for it. It will be placed in a rather weird looking clay orb thing with rocks and twigs and a clay snake on top. The orb is kind of like a big rubber band ball looking thing, pretty much. If I get a picture of it when it is complete, then I will try to add it on here, since my description skills are sort of… lacking.

Derek started talking to me out of nowhere today in class… well technically before class. Just asked what chapter I was on in the homework. That was about it. I told him I was on chapter three, really I’m stuck on chapter one, and that I will be doing homework all week pretty much. He said that was how his week was looking too, and then I joked about running away and finding alcohol with what's his name from Anthropology. I can only ever remember the guy’s nickname…. Flippy.

Anyhow, the 11th was dad’s 43rd birthday, and as always it was also veterans day. The 12th was Jenevive’s birthday. I think she just turned 24… maybe 23? I can’t remember which. In July, I will be turning 22… and I still don’t have a photo ID. Sucks to be me I guess, haha.

Nancy has been having it rough lately, I’m not sure how to help her, but I know she needs it.

As for Alvin and Marsha? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. They can keep their drama away from me and I won’t mind at all.

This week has been nothing but course evaluations so far. It’s annoying. But after those we get to go back to class as usual. I guess it’s not so bad….

I’m really bad at keeping up with this whole journal thing, I’ve noticed the long gaps in between entries and I find it almost laughable, really.

Sam came over on Friday night. We played a bunch of PS4 games, took a walk, grabbed some Chinese food and watched most of Deadpool 2 before we got tired. Saturday afternoon I went home, obviously, and monday I came back here to school after my doctor’s appointment.

That’s honestly about it, really. I haven’t had much else exciting go on lately. I have a surprise for Kane when I see him next. So, I guess I am low-key hoping that we get scheduled together over my thanksgiving break.

I had asked for them to put me on for my whole break, since I really don’t want to deal with grandma. She’s been so mean lately. She has been ripping people apart and screaming at them over nothing, really. Mom, me, etc… There’s no reasoning with her, no calming her down… she’s just been a bitch. She told mom that Alexis’ friend Gena has no friends and is completely ignorant and obnoxious. Mom explained that Gena has autism, like my brother, so she doesn’t have social skills. Grandma’s response was “I don’t know about that.” I had told her the same thing before, and she told me to stop making excuses for other people’s behavior. I wasn’t making an excuse, I was trying to explain why she is the way she is… which isn’t rude or obnoxious, by the way. She just doesn’t get when things are jokes, so she takes everything seriously. Oh, and I should mention my grandma formed this opinion because Gena doesn’t believe in God. SO WHAT!?

She’s just been so nasty with everyone and I really don’t want to deal with all of that. I know me well enough to know that if she starts her shit over thanksgiving dinner, I will open my mouth and things will go terribly wrong. So, my solution to the problem is going to work. My psychiatrist said I should work on not using avoidance strategies, but in this case I think it’s the best way to go.

In lighter news, Alexis is going to the dance with her friend Lance. They both like eachother but neither kid has the guts to ask the other, so I told Alexis that I was confiscating MY Fallout 4 disc until she asked him. She keeps saying I took HER game and complaining, but truth is…. I bought it, it’s mine and the PS4 is mine too! The only game that is hers is the new Spiderman game. That’s it. The other ones are MINE….the console is MINE. Either way, I’m not giving it to her until she asks the kid.

I have dress rehearsal for _____ (our school’s talent competition) on the 28th. The show is the 30th. The first place prize is 200 dollars, and I don’t know if 2nd and 3rd get anything or not. I forget…. I just know that I have 15 days to get the 25 language version of Let It Go memorised perfectly. I keep tripping up towards the end. I will be alright though, I’m sure.

On top of this, we have our chorus concert on December 7th. I’ve got lots of things going on it seems. Finals, chorus concert, a competition….

In other news, I think I have a serious man problem here. I never use to be so guy crazy, but lately it’s just bad. I see them and I’m just like “Whoa….”

Kind of like “DUDE” in my accounting class.

On a much more serious note, recently in Pittsburgh there was a shooting at a synagogue called the Tree of Life Congregation. I think eleven people died, and I am not entirely sure how many were injured. Pastor Man made a beautiful sermon on how hate has no place in our church, and how we must love everyone as god loved everyone, with no exceptions to that rule. He did it in honor of what had happened there, and he put a sign in the garden of the church that said in many languages, “Hate has no place here.”

I worked that sunday, so I didn’t get to attend, however, I did write to the synagogue. I told them about what our pastor had done, I told them about how, despite our difference of religion I still wish for the families of victims and injured to be able to mourn and heal peacefully, and that I hope god may bless them all with some sense of comfort in these times, because Pastor Man was exactly right, hate has no place here. No place anywhere. I never hated Jewish people anyhow, but I still think the message needs to be heard.

If it were a mosque, though, and not a synagogue, would people still react with such kind hearts? I find it sad that I have to even question that… but we live in an age where people will help anyone but a Muslim. Anyone but a middle eastern person. Anyone but a gay person. Anyone but a minority….

“For god so loved the world, he gave his only son.” Reads the bible. It does not say “For god so loved the world, except the..” If you want to pretend you are high and mighty, remember that verse. God so loved the WORLD. The whole fucking world. Jews, Muslims, Gays, Hindus, Crippled kids, the good, the bad, the rich, the poor, the sick, the healthy…. The whole damn world. No exceptions.

We are not God. We do not get to choose what race, religion, sexual orientation or culture is right or wrong, if any! That’s not our place.

People fear what they don’t understand. Fear can lead to hate, and this year has showed that many many times in the last 10 and ½ months. So maybe, just maybe, we should stop being so fucking afraid. Love thy neighbor and all that…. It’s not a hard concept.

#hatehasnoplacehere #randomrant #moving stuff over part 5

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plogan721 · 6 years

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Blog Post for the New Year: Breaking Down Janet Jackson’s Unbreakable

Does not belong to P. Lynne Designs but a copyright of Rhythem Nation/BMG Rights Managment Via AP

“Hello, it’s been a while”. It is one of the lines from Janet Jackson’s latest album, Unbreakable which is part of a song by the same name, Unbreakable. It has been a while. A failed blogmas’ as well as a failed vlogmas’ for this year, and yet, my world is “unbreakable”.

This is how this song speaks to me (grabbing the lyrics from the site, Genius.com).

“I lived through my mistakes It’s just a part of growing And never for a single moment Did I ever go without your love You made me feel wanted I wanna tell you how important You are to me, love.”

We have all made some mistakes, and it is what it is. You are learning, and you cannot learn if you do not make any mistakes. My pet peeve about a perfectionist is they will call out your mistakes, and some will even remind you that mistake every now and then. “Remember that time when you…” It is really annoying. My question to the perfectionist is “how am I supposed to learn if I do not make a mistake”? For those of you who are, please ponder that for a moment.

Next part of the phrase…

I started this journey of blogging because I wanted a voice. I was not mad at anyone, I simply wanted a voice. That is all a person who blogs, or vlogs wants is a voice. What is that voice? It depends on that person. Some want to change the world around them, some want to voice their opinion about a subject they are passionate about, and some want to be silly, but they still have a voice. It is the same thing when a person writes a piece of music or choreographs a dance, they are speaking their mind. I never thought of this thing called writing and I certainly never thought of putting it out in public, the internet of all places.

For the people who have read my posts, I want to thank you. I wish I had a small gift to give to each one of you, but I do not. It does not matter if you spent one minute or an hour or two reading, that is good enough for me. Google has a different idea, but I am not worried about that at all. I have too much on my plate to do that.

My readers are important to me. They keep me going when I do not feel like it. When I post a link to a blog post that I have written, it is for you to read. I have my own journal for me to write and read from. It is written in the same program that I start my blog posts from, MS. Word. I have several posts mentioning my process when I write a blog post. You may do something different or the same. I give advice mostly to people who want to get started in writing, crafting, or whatever I decide to write about.

Verse 1:

“Truth is, truth is that I wouldn’t be here Without the love I stand on Anytime I get lost in the world You’ll always be there To care and share In the joy and the pain, oh Our love won’t change.”

Love of God, family, and friends is what I am all about. I do not think that I could have survived without that love. God brought me into this world through the help of my parents. I am their only birth child. I have a brother who was adopted at age 4 months, and through him, I have 2 nephews (21 years and 7 years old). I have a foster sister, who I still call my sister, although she has plenty through her birth parents. Through her, I have a nephew who is 10 years-old, and a niece, who is 9 years-old. I also have various friends who I call my sisters and brothers, mostly through my church. Do I wish that I had birth brothers and sisters? I have two birth sisters who are in heaven, and at first, I did miss that bond to have someone to share my DNA with. I went through that period when I was ages 10-16 years, but then I began the process of being thankful for who I have in my life. I could have been a foster child myself, never have known these people who I call mom and dad. I also could have been born in an abusive home like my foster sister.

When you think back on your life, what do you think of? I think of the joy and pain that Janet speaks about in this verse. Do not think about the joy or the pain in your life, but think about all of it. What molded you into the person you have become, even if you are a teen reading this right now? I am so glad that my grandparents were praying grandparents, and in turn, made my parents praying parents. Not only for the bad things but thanking God for the blessings that this family was and still able to enjoy, as well as getting us through the rough patches in our lives.

Chorus:

And what I share with you Ever sacred, everlasting The greatest love for me I love you And it’s pure And it will endure The world can’t break down The connection Cause our love is divine And it’s unbreakable

Even though this is a secular song, I feel this chorus is God speaking to me and that His love is everlasting, very pure, and very sincere. (I was going to put another word there, but I do not want it to be misinterpreted to something more). Even though God is a jealous God, meaning do not put anyone else before Him, he loves you like nothing else. After all, He made us. (Sorry, for those who believe otherwise, these are MY beliefs, and nothing you can say to change my belief). When you make something, you cherish it, and you will do anything to protect it. This is how God feels about us. He sent His son, Jesus for that reason, among many reasons. When Jesus died, He sent a comforter to look after us until He comes again. It is a divine love that stands the test of time and space.

Verse 2:

Faithful love that I will always keep first My heart will never be hurt Family that walks through fire for me So I don’t get burnt Fans and friends chime in To a love that’s true blue I dedicate myself to you

I have nothing to say about this verse. This is all Janet, and I said my peace in the first verse. Family comes first after God. I do have this to say, it is the reason why I have been absent from blogging. With my parents’ health, it was important to me to tend to their needs. (See Lesson 1: Being a Dutiful Daughter) Next, it was important for me to take care of myself. If I am not at my best, how can I take care of them? I am not going to lie to say I have had a couple of financial issues through the year, and my parents have helped me with that. 2018 will be better, but I cannot say for my parents and their health. Mom almost had a scare before Thanksgiving, but it is under control. I pray nothing comes up while I am gone for a week with neither parent.

[Bridge] Cause our love is defined And it’s unbreakable Cause our love is defined And it’s unbreakable Love

This is a repeat to let you know that God’s love is defined, and it is unbreakable

[Outro] (I found a friend) Hello (I found a friend) It’s been a while (I found a friend) Lots to talk about (I found a friend) I’m glad you’re still here (I dedicate myself to you) I hope you enjoy

I was going to take out the words in the parentheses, but it takes away from the song itself, so I left it in because I have found a friend. I may not know you, but I do consider you a friend, a reader, a fan, a viewer, whatever you want to be to me.

So, I have come full-circle, back to the beginning of this post, “Hello, it’s been a while. Lots to talk about. Glad you are still here. I hope you enjoy.” 2018 is going to be one of my best years, and I want to take you along with me. I am leaving 2017 behind, having learned from it, and having dealt with all the stuff that came with it, both the good and the bad. My life is far from perfect. This is your takeaway for the evening and the year that was 2017.

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#IFTTT #Blogger

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brainfoodgp · 6 years

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Seeds for Wellness Journal/Fall 2017

This has been an exciting fall indeed! Brain Food Garden Project was selected over the summer by two of our partners, Claire Hartten and Kate Bakewell, to be the muse and “client” for a class they developed called Designing for Sustainability and Resilience. This class is part of the NYC School of Visual Arts MFA in Products of Design Program. If you have been following us on any of our social media platforms you will have seen what an amazing time I’ve been having.

As we approach the holiday break and the end of the class I will assist in critiquing the student’s final projects. I am excited to announce that in the winter edition of the Seeds for Wellness Journal at the end of January. I will be featuring my five favorite projects from the student’s body of work from the semester.

The holiday season can be a stressful time for everyone. However, in my work as a mental health peer advocate I see just how deeply triggering it can often be for many of us living with a mental health concern. I have always believed that humor is one of our greatest wellness tools in our arsenal and that when deployed in just the right way is capable of healing the mind.

There is no greater gift to the world than a hard working comic who places the spotlight on the absurdity and contradictions in our daily lives and most definitely the difficulties we all experience as part of the human condition. That is precisely why I reached out to my good friend the comic Sharon Simon to write our feature article for the fall issue. Sharon is a dynamic and highly in demand comic as well as being a mental health peer advocate. Sharon and I will be collaborating on a future project together that I am looking very forward to announcing in 2018. She is one of the funniest people I know and therefore the perfect person to kick our holiday season off with a laugh and you will see that fully demonstrated in her thoughtful, wise and yes very funny feature article How the f@&k am I supposed to get through the holidays?! A comic’s guide.

Also this month we replace our Notes from the Resistance with our special holiday feature Resist Through Giving. Look, everyone needs a break from the daily barrage of negative news coming from the fascist authoritarian regime currently holding our country hostage. What better time to take that break to recharge our batteries for the fights ahead than the holiday season. So for this issue I will feature five organizations I intend to donate to over this festive time of year that I believe are making a real difference in people’s lives.

We also have in this issue an amazing “paying it forward” giveaway in the What I’m Reading Section. And a mouthwatering vegan recipe in honor of our feature guest writer Sharon Simon in our Healthy & Delicious Recipes section.

In conclusion, one final exciting bit of news. Sharon has agreed to take over the Brain Food Garden Project Facebook page for the week starting Monday December 4th. We are simply calling it, “Simon Says!” and we look very forward to hearing exactly what Ms. Simon does have to say, sharing her insights and humor with us all!

Brain Food Garden Project and our partners wish all of you a healthy (mind and body) and joyous yuletide season!

The BFGP Feature:

Sharon Simon is a NYC comedian and mental health peer advocate. In addition to being a former Brain Food Garden Project Hero Award recipient, Sharon also writes her own successful blog Bat Shit Crazy Borderline and coordinates Life on the Borderline a self-help group for those with BDP. She is a trainer for NYC’s Crisis Intervention Training for the NYPD, educating the police on what it means to have a mental health concern and how to better help those in crisis. Her passion for comedy blossomed at a young age appearing as a child on SNL. She has performed in clubs in NY, Los Angeles and Montreal. Sharon has opened for comedian Jim Norton and taken to the stage with Chris Rock. She has hosted a float in the NYC LGBT Pride Parade and is a passionate animal rights activist always striving to keep her bird and fish happy and is a diehard vegan also supporting vegan causes. To learn more about Sharon you can check out her Facebook Fan page here.

How the f@&k am I supposed to get through the holidays?! A comic’s guide by Sharon Simon

Sure I know people who are totally looking forward to the holidays with a “devil may care” attitude because I happen to know people who are less than seven years old. Just kidding, even privileged kids are set up for unreasonable expectations that will be met with disappointment. Even if they are lucky enough to have parents who love them, and want them to be happy, it will never be exactly as they want it to be. Maybe they want a gift Mommy and Daddy cannot afford, or maybe, as was in my case, their Jewish mother would not allow her to have a Christmas tree! Ugh, I didn’t get to have one until I was in college where my roommate wrestled my other roommate, accidentally tossing me into the tree, which was when I learned I was horribly allergic to it!

I know. I have listed possibly the most arrogant, privileged, carefree issues one could have during the season of pressured festivities. But do not think for a second my holidays have always been easy. A little over eleven years ago, on the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, my mom passed on. And although my relationship with my mother was fraught with more than the typical mother-daughter issues, I loved her more than anything. I cared about her feelings enough to keep the secrets she needed me to keep, leaving me feeling isolated, from our extended family. Secrets of the manipulation and abuse that I withstood, due to my mother helping to raise a boy, whose mother was too busy chasing men to care about her son, or the problems he had in his mind that lead him to turn me into the object he needed to dump his pain into for the better part of my childhood. Although the last few years of my mother’s life she did all she could to protect me, by making sure that I never had to interact with these “friends of the family”, I spent my mother’s entire lifetime feeling alone in my misery. So when she died I felt my coming out about my past could no longer hurt her, and would possibly end my suffering. I am sure you can guess that the love and support I expected was not there and instead I received judgment and disbelief. And on top of that, with my mother out of the picture, there was no one there to make sure I could feel safe to share the holidays with my family. Oh, my father tried. The first Hanukah after my mother’s death he brought dinner, from one of my favorite vegan restaurants, to our family party for me. (Yes, I am one of those annoying vegans). But when I was greeted at the door by my abuser’s mother, throwing off an insult about my lack of smile, how could I stay and eat it. I went to cry in the bathroom until I could gather the strength to thank my father for dinner, bring it to my car, and eat it alone doing the best I could to not self-abuse.

Oh right, this article is about using humor to get through the holidays, so why the F%$k am I talking about this - especially when things have changed so much for me? This year I cannot wait to see my family on ThanksHanukah. Yes, my family was too Jewish for me to have a Christmas tree but not so Jewish that we do not meld holidays together to suit our fancy. And sometimes the high-holy days start out with shrimp cocktail cause you know, it goes with Jewish deli. What?!?

Maybe it is time for you to understand what it means to be a comic.

Well, first-off people are not born happily into comedy. Sorry if you thought that was the case but it takes a lot of prior sadness, a lot! And enough trauma for us to develop the coping mechanism of turning pain into something that can be laughed at. Some of my favorite comics, Martin Lawrence for example, will get onstage and come clean about some of their darkest hours to the enjoyment of an audience. (If you have not seen the special where he addresses why he was outside practically naked yelling at people I totally recommend it.) In my opinion, the best comedy comes from digging down inside yourself, admitting your faults, and finding ways to make it funny.

In some ways it is not too different than what I do during the day. As a Peer Specialist, it is my pain that enables me to be good at what I do. And I fricken love the peer movement because, like most Comics, Peers are honest. But while the Peers I know are amongst the most gentle, sweetest people, Comics are the exact opposite and it was with Comics that I spent many of the holidays away from my family.

Comics love, love, love! to attack each other. I want you to know something, if you ever find yourself with a group of comics and are surprised how awful we are to each other; understand that it is our sarcasm that indicates our respect and adoration. It is like a coed fraternity with whom being able to withstand these attacks is par for the course. So in other words, if they like you, they will insult you. So it was in part through this hazing that I learned to laugh at what I have and what I am, and although I am grateful for the holiday’s I have spent with my comic friends, and look forward to some of these celebrations all year, (the Fourth of July party I always attend is the Bomb!) something was still missing.

But luckily I have friends with more traditional family lives. And I have been blessed to be invited to many of my friends’ families’ holidays, but although it is no one’s fault, being around husbands, wives, parents, grandparents, and children, made me feel bad about myself. And even if I try my best to keep quiet about my lifestyle, no one is happy about having a vegan at their table for Thanksgiving. My plate consisting of red wine and uh, in some cases that’s it, makes everyone, including me uncomfortable. After being vegan for eleven years I cannot digest your string bean casserole filled with dairy even if I wanted to. And for some of my friends’ families, roasting a whole pig and making it the centerpiece is customary. I have never had to fake nausea to get out of eating at tables such as these as I love pigs the way most New Yorker’s love dogs and I truly cannot stomach watching the people I love eat Ms. Piggy. Although someone was always kind enough to offer me the apple.

For so many Thanksgivings all I really wanted to do was volunteer but my ideals made serving turkey impossible. Luckily the great hurricane of 2012 changed that for me! In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, I worked with a church helping to clean up the Jersey shore, wearing the required Jesus loves New Jersey T-shirt. Not only did I have a nice time, but my growing confidence enabled me to tolerate the fact that I was the only one there without any family. Mine was, from what I was told, wishing I was celebrating with them, but although I was promised none of the childhood perpetrators I wanted to avoid would be present, I was still three years away from letting go of that part of the past to rejoin my family. My confidence and my ability to enjoy what is was growing. After the cleanup, I went to a bar with my friend and her husband only to be hit on by a drunk and disorderly man who, due to the T-shirt I was still wearing, was very impressed with my love of Jesus, Oh Jesus!

Then there was my first holiday with the man I would eventually become engaged to. To my surprise, he is Jewish, not Jewish like my family, really Jewish. While my father spends his Friday nights at the movies with his girlfriend, or as he refers to her, friends-no-benefits, (a description of which I am no longer convinced is true) my fiancé’s mother is lighting the candles and saying prayers. In order to help them like me, I was asked to cover my tattoos, including the one my mother bought me for my eighteenth birthday, and pretend to actually have a clue about what it meant to be Jewish. I hate - I mean really hate lying, I am the kind of friend who has been known to say “yes, you do look fat in that” but I did it. I talked about Leonard Cohen and my limited experience at Jewish sleep away camp at nauseam. And although I was looking forward to the day when I would be honest with them, while I was there I respected my man’s request, and found the situation very funny. They were no more perfect than my family and while they were as “Jewish as could be” they started dinner after 11pm, and were hanging out with me instead of going to Temple, I mean Shul. I just learned there were only two Jewish Temples in all of history, but just about every Jewish person, including my fiancé’s mother, calls it Temple.

I was just grateful that they wanted me there and made a vegan stew just for me. Why did I have to be so harsh with my relatives? Why did I have the impossible expectation that they could change the past? I wanted to find a new way to relate. My way, a comic’s way.

No family holiday is perfect! Not even the Obamas. I am sure Michele can be a little controlling over how much pie her daughters get to have, I mean, look at those arms!

So neither is my family. When I got engaged a cousin, I hardly know, attacked me over when I was going to have children saying it was the only way to make my father’s life complete. I am an entertainer, in my forties, with borderline personality, and hearing disorder that makes loud noises excruciating. So, assuming I could get pregnant, and on the off chance that spending ten years over-medicated didn’t affect my ability to bear a child heathy enough to survive childbirth, who does she think would care for the child while I was out at night working, my eighty something-year-old dad and his girlfriend no-benefits?!

Sooooo there it is. I did not get upset, I did not internalize it. Instead, I just went to the bathroom to laugh it off and write it down in case I could use it for a joke later. I have learned that we only have so much control over our relationships. The people you interact with are not dealing with you as you see yourself; rather they are interacting with who they have decided you are, which the longer they know you the more likely they are wrong. This leaves us and our families interacting with the ghosts of who we were years ago, instead of who we have worked so hard to become. And this is true on both sides. I am now someone who loves interacting with all kinds of people and someone who sees adversity as a way to grow, or even better, a chance to write a joke so funny that it finally gets me on Conan, yeah I know too late, but I just can’t get with Fallon. The fact is it is unlikely that ThanksHanukah will end with me sitting in my car eating tofurkey crying by myself because I want to enjoy myself. And it has taken me about eleven years to realize that no matter what happens on the outside that choice is mine.

Happy holidays everyone! It is my genuine hope that you all find your own way to enjoy the entire holiday season. And when all else fails, remember the words of the great Victor Frankl who reminds us that “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” “to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”, but I hope your holidays are happy enough to find joy, acceptance, and laughter in the moment, without needing to remember a quote written by a man while he was surviving the Holocaust.

What I’m Reading:

As many of you know The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that transformed my life and the way I think about living in this world. The very first agreement “Be Impeccable with Your Word” is at the core of my personal wellness plan and face it we could all stand to live on a planet where more people spoke with candor and most importantly with integrity. In September of this year I went through a very difficult time and I posted several comments on my personal Facebook page about what I was going through. One day in the mail I received a package with no return address. When I opened it was a copy of The Fifth Agreement written by Don Miguel and his son Don Jose.

I had known about the fifth agreement for some time. However, the agreement “Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen” seemed rather dark to me, or at least the, “be skeptical” part did, and I didn’t feel I was ready to receive the books message. I have always believed the Universe sends us the messages we need only when we need them the most. The good Samaritan that sent me the book never acknowledged my request on social media for them to reveal themselves so that I could thank them for sending me the right message for the right time in my life. If you’re reading this thank you!

So in the tradition of paying it forward I will put anyone’s name that writes to me at [email protected] into a drawing and in January of 2018 I will pull two names to each receive a free copy of the book. Who knows it might just be the message you need for your life to start of your new year.

Resist Through Giving:

Americans are never more generous then during the holiday season. It seems that the lights and spirit of the season warms our hearts to be both more giving of our time and money to help people and causes that need it the most. So this year I am giving to five charities that in their own ways fight for the resistance.

1.) The Southern Poverty Law Center works to amplify the voices of those fighting the good fight in the Southland. To donate and learn more about their work click here

2.) The Dream Center in Newburgh, NY has been working for years now to aid in creating a sense of renewed community for the residents and give them a place to go to fulfil their dreams. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

3.) Lambda Legal has been fighting for LGBTQ Americans for decades to insure their rights to equality. In these increasingly fascist authoritarian times we are now living in their work is of even more vital impact. To donate and learn more about their work click here

4.). Our partners at The HOPE Program have been working to provide job training to people in underserved communities and provide valuable tools to help families get back on their feet. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

5.) Rise and Root Farm strongly believe that the food we eat and access to that food builds stronger communities. To donate and learn more about their work click here.

Healthy & Delicious Recipes:

Vegan Cauliflower Alfredo

In honor of Sharon Simon our featured guest writer for this issue and a passionate vegan. I present this healthy and delicious Vegan Cauliflower Alfredo. It is the perfect dish to put into your meatless Monday rotation. And a perfect side dish for any of you omnivores out there like me. I suggest mixing up white, purple and orange cauliflower to give it a richer more festive coloring for the holidays. Also, don’t skimp on the tofu it is the ingredient that gives your sauce its thick and decadent consistency. To learn more about this amazing recipe click here.

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