picrew

Here’s a comic that’s based on an idea from @hear-that-music-in-the-air! Since it’s kinda long half of it is under the split so it doesn’t stretch too far 😅

Bonus panel:

19.12.23, tuesday

0.5h of coding lol

wasn’t having the best day so decided to finally watch the barbie-movie (it’s on hbo rn) bc figured that could cheer me up

but bc the universe loves a good timing, on the grocery store trip after, some dudes came to me like ”which one of us would u fuck?” and that annoyed me way more than it should’ve. Like cmon, it’s 10pm at a grocery store; if you’re not cottage cheese or olive oil get tf out of my face

just a short evening walk bc it was windy and I was annoyed

i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

presumed death literally the trope of all time. you’re telling me i can have the grief and horror of character death AND have the happy ending too??

not to mention the possibilities after “dead” character turns up again.

maybe they have no idea their loved one thinks they died, and they show up all nonchalant only to realize things have gone horribly wrong. maybe their loved one thinks they’re a ghost/hallucination/trick and won’t accept them.

maybe they do know their loved one thinks they’re dead and they’re choosing to keep up the facade for their safety. watching from afar, unable to comfort them.

maybe they faked their death and believe their loved one is in on the scheme when actually that message was never received.

maybe, in the process of whatever almost killed them, they forgot about their loved one/old life/etc, and aren’t aware they have anything to return to.

maybe they “died” thinking no one would notice their absence, leaving their loved one full of regret for things unsaid. perhaps their loved one heals and moves on, only for “dead” character to return.

and just, augh, the aftermath. waking up to find “dead” character gone and assuming it was all a dream/they really did die. the codependency. the anger, even, that they didn’t come back/let themself get hurt/lied. maybe guilt if their body was abandoned by their comrades, only to learn that they were alive all along.

name me a trope that does more i’ll WAIT.

Update:

As a writer, I’m sure it’s obvious what I’m about to do to gabriel and his gay boyfriend

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Did Rebecca ever do that?” I whispered, a second story unfolding within my memory of the last few months, of Mrs. Danvers’ reverence for Her: not just devotion, I now realized, but something more complicated. Deeper.

Adoration. Ardor. Need.

"No."

“But you wanted her to, didn’t you?”

She didn’t make a sound. Refused to look up at me.

“Answer me, Mrs. Danvers.”

More like rad-b-gone lol

Welp, @nailsinmywall and @skyeventide were chatting on twitter and woobiefied!Celegorm came up. And I’ve realized that I have two semi-elaborate Celegorm headcanon/interpretations spawned from attempts to make Celegorm less fucking tedious to me. I don’t think they quite make the cut for woobiefication, but they ARE marching in that direction. I think this at least qualified for meow-meowification.

Like all good headcanons, one revolves around Orome and one around Aredhel LOL. Honestly it’s all about motivation. Because bitches love to coddle a blorbo who does shitty things for “good” reasons.

Hokay, so. Celegorm and Orome. I realize that this is an unpopular opinion, but Celegorm/Orome is Not For Me, and I prefer to skew the relationship to focus on what Orome’s job represents to Celegorm, rather than a romantic relationship.

Because Orome’s role isn’t just hunting for funsies. His calling is to guard. “He is a hunter of monsters and fell beasts[.]” It’s not the same thing as hunting for food or trophies. It’s about being a first line of defense. It’s a very sincere and solemn duty, and one that would have been obviously important to someone who a) spent stretches of time in the more dangerous parts of Araman and b) intended to leave the safety of Aman with the rest of his family, like Celegorm. Depending on when you think Feanor started talking about leaving Aman, it’s very reasonable for Celegorm to pursue an apprenticeship etc in Orome’s hunt specifically to support the end goal of leaving Aman.  

So Celegorm has accepted this intense, important duty and obligation to Orome and the community at large, in a time and place where there is relatively little need for it. And then suddenly, Morgoth tips his hand and reveals himself to be unreformed! There is more need for Orome than ever!!! And Orome…

Stays home.

Celegorm arrives in Beleriand and fights orcs and wolves and ect etc and sees that Orome’s dedication to everything he taught Celegorm is conditional. Celegorm is in Beleriand, doing the work, whether for selfish or altruistic reasons, and Orome just… isn’t.

Now, there are different ways to interpret the emotional fallout here. But I’m included to say that Celegorm was… if no longer devoted to Orome once the family withdraws to Formenos, then at least still sympathetic and drawn to Orome’s ethos. If nothing else, Huan’s ongoing presence suggests that Celegorm still shares Orome’s calling, even if he’s no longer a member of Orome’s cult.

But I think once he arrived in Beleriand and seen the effects of Orome’s abandonment… he becomes increasingly bitter about his former god. Bitter in a way that I think is unique among the Feanorians, because Orome specifically has abandoned his professed calling in favor of obedience to Manwe. It’s not just the Exiles who have been abandoned, it’s everyone East of the Sea! It doesn’t matter if they aren’t Doomed and never thought of kinslaying, because they have been summarily judged and punished for actions they’re literally separated from by multiple generations and thousands of years. Celegorm has made this protective/defensive role his life’s calling, under Orome’s tutelage, and Orome has made it clear through his actions that the work he made central to Celegorm’s life was something Orome could just walk away from.

But throughout this all Celegorm is still doing the work. Orome walked away, but Celegorm didn’t, and I can’t imagine he’d be anything but bitterly proud about that. I don’t think it took long for him to be doing the work in spite of Orome, rather than in Orome’s honor or even far-distant partnership.

It's a bitter disillusionment and stripping of faith that I tend to think of as a hallmark of the religious lives of the Exiles. But Celegorm’s explicit textual relationship with Orome, and Huan, and (presumed) defensive work in Himlad makes it a good case study. The Valar’s collective failure to live up to their own PR would have made the Eastern forces at least feel justified in their actions.

 So now I have hopefully established that Celegorm’s (bloody, dangerous, violent) work on the front lines of Eastern Beleriand is part of the borderline religious cultural role that Celegorm has chosen for himself. He is perhaps glad to be applying his chosen craft, but scornful that he’s doing it with no greater help from Orome than Huan. He is very probably angry that Thingol doesn’t give two shits about these defensive obligations. Hypocritical, since Celegorm’s mostly there because of the Oath, but it’s mostly a constant low-grate irritation. Nothing too serious.

And then everything falls out with Aredhel!

Because the thing is: years before Celegorm ever laid eyes on Luthien, one of Elu Thingol’s kinsmen seduced and eloped with the daughter of the high king of the Noldor, AT BEST. The most charitable version of that relationship is an illicit seduction, an elopement without so much as notifying Aredhel’s father, and then pursuing her like an animal when she decided she was done with the relationship. And even if that’s the reality and not just the most charitable explanation, I cannot buy that Celegorm felt remotely charitable about the situation.

So from Celegorm’s perspective, what happened is that one of the people he was pouring blood, sweat, and tears into defending had abducted, seduced, definitely abused, and very possibly sexually assaulted one of his favorite cousins. And then they both disappeared into the ether with no justice done that Celegorm would have heard of, and certainly no apology from Eol, let alone Thingol.

Who wouldn’t be in a blind rage at Doriath, in his shoes?

And then the Silmaril quest is Thingol very literally adding insult to injury. The silmaril quest is a very neat and tidy insult to both Beren (who Thingol obviously wants dead) and the Feanorian East. After all, the Feanorian East was just recently devastated in the Bragollach, and Himlad not the least. The silmaril quest is Thingol’s way of saying “You’re not a player on the field anymore. I’m top dog again, and I’ll treat you however I want.” Which is, even with the kinslaying, a pretty shitty move! And it’s one that, quite frankly, the Feanorians have to answer in some way, or they’re basically acknowledging that Thingol is correct. Letting it pass wouldn’t just make it more difficult for them to claim one silmaril, it would make it harder to get people to help them deal with Morgoth and the last two silmarils! It’s kinda dumb, but that’s politics bay-bee.

So when Luthien wanders on by… Hey! A hostage! Luthien offers a great opportunity to pay Thingol back tit-for-tat for both Eol’s treatment of Aredhel and Thingol’s deliberate insult to his former allies. His attraction to her is just gravy.

Essentially, I’ve decided to interpret Celegorm as someone who chose to devote himself, body, heart, and soul, to a god/personal calling to defend his family/community/species, and then had to find a way forward in life when the very same god abandoned that calling, and then some of the people he was defending stabbed his family in the back. Like, damn. I don’t think I would react any better. If I had spent centuries of my life dedicated to the bloody, violent defense of a frontier (a defense that had been abandoned by the powers-that-be that I had been raised to expect to help), only to find out that someone from another cultural group that I was defending had trapped one of my best friends in an abusive relationship? And then like, a century later the leader of the same political group (who never apologized for what happened to my BFF!) very explicitly made a major political challenge to me and my family? And then I get the chance to reprise the crime that he never apologized for on his daughter? I would be fucking tempted. And the threat alone, without intent to follow through, would be enough to pry apologies out of Thingol and stabilize the Feanorian power base.

Bruce Wayne Headcanons

that I cannot reconcile with current/most/ALL of his comics characterization but I hold onto nevertheless

—Bruce Wayne!! trains each of his Robins with the goal of them becoming better than him.

—Bruce Wayne!! intends for the Robins to be his actual failsafe if he ever went off the deep end. (Fuck that weirdo robot lol.)

—Bruce Wayne!! 1000% blames himself for Jason Todd’s death I don’t care what the comics have had him say or what his dumbass inner-narrative has said…*handwave handwave* all of that was just him desperately trying to cover the hole in his heart from failing his son so completely.

I want you to be in my future!

Do you plan on getting any non millipede friends

I do! I’d love to get some more isopods and raise some beetles from larva again. I’d also LOVE to get back into fish keeping my faves are bettas, shrimps, corydoras and kuhli loaches! Maybe a snake or gecko further down the line? But those are what I know the least about and would be most hesitant to get as I want any creatures I get to have the best care I can give them.

I’d say the only creatures on my never list are spiders, roaches, centipede, anything else that moves overly fast or has a bad bite/is venomous/poisonous. Probably turtles too just due to their life spans.

But millipedes and isopods are what I’m able to keep right now as I’d have to get some new tanks for anything else, as well as all the research I’d need to do to be comfortable keeping them.

Oh also I do have two cats I just don’t post about them here, and I plan to possibly get a third next year but we’ll see :3

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

Take a fucking sip, bitch!