#i drew this several years ago and i have wanted to finish it for several years because i think this is a wonderful bulbasaur
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Unplanned Consequences (Part 5: Patton) [Sometimes Labels Shift Series-The End]
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Relationships: Patton/Logan
Characters: Patton, Logan, Virgil (mentioned), Roman (mentioned)
Summary: Sometimes... things change.
Notes: This takes place after Best Laid Plans
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
“Hey Lo,” Patton said as he walked into the living room. Virgil had officially moved into an apartment with Roman a few days ago as the spring semester was starting tomorrow. This left Patton and Logan living alone together in the house for the first time since… The Incident.
Patton had just finished cleaning up dinner after getting Logan settled on the couch. The TV was on, but Logan was currently staring past it into space, something he never used to do, but had become a frequent occurrence since getting injured. It worried Patton a bit, but he tried not to think about it.
Logan looked up at him as Patton said his name. He didn’t smile softly at Patton like he usually would have. It made something clog in Patton’s throat.
“Hello,” Logan said.
“I… made us both some tea,” Patton said, holding out the tea mugs as though for his approval.
“Thank you, love.” He still seemed distracted and distant. He turned back towards the television.
Patton nodded and then walked over to set the mugs on the coffee table. Then, he sat down on the couch next to Logan. Years of instinct told him to scootch over closer until their arms and legs intermingled, but he hesitated.
Logan either noticed his hesitation, or noticed his deviation from the norm, because he glanced over at Patton. He lifted the arm closest to Patton and Patton instantly took the invitation, moving closer to curl up under his arm.
Logan pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
It was silent between them for a long moment, only the sound of the television droning on breaking the quiet. The news was on, Patton noted. There was coverage on a supervillain attack Prince had stopped the night before.
“I think I need to retire,” Logan said out of the blue.
Patton drew back to look at him in surprise. “What?” he asked. “You’ve been given medical leave until next fall. You’ll be more than recovered enough to go back to teaching by then.”
Logan looked at him for a moment and then gave him a wry smile. “I wasn’t talking about teaching, my dear.”
“Oh,” Patton said blinking at him. “Oh.” He took a moment to process that statement. “But you… you want to retire?”
“I wouldn’t say want,” Logan said, “but I think it may be the most responsible course of action.”
“You… I know you’re struggling with the leg and everything right now, but you’ll get better.”
“Patton,” Logan said, “you’re a doctor.”
“Exactly!” Patton said, feeling oddly defensive for a reason he couldn’t place. “So, I know exactly how people heal from injuries like yours. You’ll need time, but with physical therapy and…”
Logan cut him off. “With physical therapy,” he said, “I will get much better. I will perhaps walk again, maybe even without a mobility aid eventually, but Patton, I’m 57-years-old. This severe of an injury is not going to heal quickly or completely.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’m getting old,” Logan said. “I’ve been slowing down, and this will not help me speed up. Being Bluebird is physically… and mentally demanding. I won’t be able fully meet those demands again after what happened.”
“That’s not true,” Patton said even though he wasn’t sure of that himself.
“It is,” said Logan. “It’s always something that would happen eventually. This has just… sped up the process.”
“You’re catastrophizing,” Patton said. It was probably an ironic statement to make when Patton’s words sounded so much more upset than his husband’s. “You’re making a rash decision because you feel bad now, but…”
“This isn’t rash,” Logan said, evenly. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot in the last months.”
Patton didn’t know what to say to that.
“Besides,” he said, nodding at the TV. The news had cycled around again while they talked, back to Prince, back to Roman. “I’m not the city’s only long-term hero anymore. Roman had been doing well before and is doing even better now. I will continue to help him on his journey, and it won’t be an immediate transition. Bluebird will still make a few appearances, but I do think it’s time. For my own sake and ultimately for this city’s too.”
Patton hesitated. Logan was right, of course, that this was inevitable. It’s just that Patton had never really thought about it. He didn’t want to think about it, especially now when Logan was still so hurt in multiple ways. He’d been telling himself that eventually things would go back to normal, but Logan had just confirmed Patton’s greatest fear: they wouldn’t.
It felt selfish to be upset, but Patton really couldn’t help it. Patton felt himself gripping onto Logan’s sleeve for support even though support was Patton’s job right now. He felt tears in his eyes, but he resisted letting them fall.
“Are you okay?” Logan asked.
“I…” Patton said. A couple of the tears escaped. “It’s just… I’ve never known a Logan that wasn’t also Bluebird.”
Logan sighed softly. He gently removed Patton’s grasping hand from his shirt sleeve to hold it in his own. “Things change,” he said, doing that thing where he stared into the distance again, “labels shift.”
A/N:
And that my friends, is the end of Sometimes Labels Shift.
It's been a long time coming and I'm feeling a bit emotional even though it's not the end of the Labeled Universe. We're just moving on to the next chapter.
All of our favorite Labeled characters will return in the new sub-series named Envisage. I hope to see you there.
#sanders sides#logan sanders#patton sanders#logicality#labeled universe#sometimes labels shift#last fic that will be tagged with that#sadge#adriana writes#not pieces fic
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chomp
#pokemon#bulbasaur#pokemon red#trainer red#pokespe#aquanutart#i drew this several years ago and i have wanted to finish it for several years because i think this is a wonderful bulbasaur#bulbasaur is thinking 'i am going to eat it!!! i am going to eat it!!! i am going to EAT IT!!!!'#i desperately wish i could draw anything for my old fandoms without feeling a need to put in a whole background#this was supposed to be just a cute scribble like you see sometimes of two characters on a blank background doing something cute#and then i was like no i've got to fully color it and here i am .....14 hours later#i did this because two days ago i found out it was red's birthday due to seeing beautiful fanarts as usual only a few hours before it ended#i thought 'this would be a great chance to quickly finish that old doodle and post it in the next couple of hours!'#and then 14 hours later...#well anyway#happy birthday red#i love and grew up reading pokemon special manga#edit: hello! i would like to thank everyone who is leaving delightful comments and tags on my bulbasaur they are making me very happy#i am very happy that many people also think this is a wonderful bulbasaur !! 🥺
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My experience with Lumii/HoneyStarlightz/Lumiidere/Lumii after dark/KiramekiCookie
I have to get this out of my system because I'm deadass tired of watching this person wander around as if they're innocent when they aren't, and I'm also annoyed because of people not noticing what this person does behind the scenes because it now takes one quick Google Search using the prompt "Luca Wii Sports" to go down the rabbit hole. This is about HoneyStarlightz/Lumii.
Lemme begin with the minor stuff. So you know how Lumii has a massive grudge against me because of most of, if not all the stuff I drew in my DeviantArt account? Almost everything there was drawn when I was a FUCKING MINOR. I am 20 years old as we speak, and most of the drawings Lumii mentions happened BEFORE MY 18TH BIRTHDAY on the 1st of December, 2021, and I'll admit, during most of that time, I was a dumbass, immature, and an edgelord. I then stopped posting anything bloody and/or revealing but continued to post harmless drawings before my 18th birthday happened. October 11th of last year was when I stopped posting on that account all together because I found out that DeviantArt was blaming Hamas and Hamas only for the Palestinian deaths and making it as if the Israel military didn't do a thing to innocent lives in Palestine after Hamas attacked.
Next, we have them making me look like an asshole for shipping Luca with Abby (The one shipart I made of the two apparently traumatized them). Back when I was 17, I decided to draw Abby and Luca, two Miis I'm not a fan of, nor close to, as a couple because I thought shipping the two was a good idea. I then posted the finished product on the 23rd of January, 2021. The drawing was not meant to traumatize anyone. It was JUST. SHIP. ART. OF. ABBY. &. LUCA. The only bad thing about that drawing was that I shoved my opinion of the two Miis down people's throats in the description by asking how the hell do people like them because to me, they're just not fun to play against at all, and even then, it was drawn three to four years ago, and I don't even ship the two anymore. I ship Abby with Wii U Barbara now. Mate, I didn't even know Lumii EXISTED back then, let alone know they had a massive love for Luca.
Next, there's the clear as day hipocrisy that people have yet to notice somehow. So you know how Lumii has "Opinion Bashers" on their DNI list, right? On that same list, they also have people that hate, despise, even dislike Luca, instantly making them a hypocrite because they said they don't want to interact with people who just cannot tolerate others having a different opinion while also saying that if you think Luca is not a good Mii, you're instantly on their shit list. Also, they said no exceptions, meaning you can be the nicest person in the world, but if you dislike Luca, go fuck yourself.
I have several friends that like Luca a lot, some of which are here on Tumblr. I do not like Luca. We get along perfectly fine. I don't understand why they feel like Luca haters and Luca lovers can't co-exist when they clearly can. Just don't be an ass to others when it comes to what you think of the character, mate.
Lastly, we have the fact that they cannot take criticism. They said criticism is prohibited on their DeviantArt profile, which means that you can say anything positive about their art, but if you say anything negative, then nope. Get out. Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you a harmless critique that was just saying what I didn't like and how you can improve. I apologize.
Seriously tho, how sensitive can you be to the point where you prohibit people from critiquing your work? Or is it that they can't criticize you? Or is it both?
Now we go to the bigger stuff, starting with the TRANSPHOBIA ACCUSATIONS and obvious delusion. They said, and I quote "please shut the fuck up for calling him "Lucapoopa", "Boring", "Annoying", "Scum" and "Tedious" for the love of fucking god, he's fucking overhated and y'all are too harsh and transphobic at him, fucking hell".
Luca is not canonically trans. Don't even say he is because of unused data because I did my research, and the only unused data he has is facial hair related. Don't get me wrong, Luca being trans is a HC that I'm completely fine with. If you want to headcanon him as trans, fine by me. Trans rights all the way, mate. Don't fucking call people transphobic just for disliking Luca tho! Luca is not canonically trans, and even if he was, bold of Lumii to assume that someone that hates Luca hates him because he's trans. He appears as an opponent in three games and there's a chance that he might piss you off in all three.
How delusional do you have to be to see someone hate a character that isn't trans outside of your HC and go "Oh, they're transphobic"?
Next, there's fullblown insensitivity. I decided to check on DeviantArt for something, and I get a DM from someone. We had a chat about Lumii, and in that chat, they showed this...
Can you spot the insensitive part? Here, I'll make it easier for ya.
I'm completely fine with people giving dark backstories to Miis in their HC, but there's a line, and you crossed it. Can we not do rape related headcanons, please? I feel like that should go without saying because, oh, I dunno, that shit is OBVIOUSLY IN BAD TASTE!
Lastly, there's something I cannot show here because if I do, I'm going to get in trouble... It has to do with porn...
Lumii has a total of three accounts that I bumped into while looking at Luca images on Google that have porn of Miis on them. They have a Newgrounds account (KiramekiCookie), which has two drawings of Luca porn, a Bluesky account (Lumii after dark), which has twelve, and a Twitter/X account with the same name, which not only has porn of Luca, but of other Miis too... AND THERE'S AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF IT, MOST OF IT BEING LUCA PORN! TELL ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED WITH OUT TELLING ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED!
I make YOU uncomfortable, Lumii? I make YOU uncomfortable?! You drew Luca laying eggs, you drew a worrying amount of Luca porn, and yet you have the AUDACITY to say I make YOU uncomfortable when you're obviously worse, you fucking hypocrite?! You drew art that is bound to make several people uncomfortable the moment they see it on the THREE ACCOUNTS you have, you falsely accuse people of transphobia, you obssess over Luca an unhealthy and uncomfortable amount, and yet I'M the one in the wrong because I drew ship art of Luca and Abby and art that has blood on it years ago?! I don't get your logic!
BTW, for those who say that this could've been resolved privately, it couldn't because Lumii has blocked me on DeviantArt, and they also blocked me on an old Tumblr account of theirs too, meaning that talking to them was out of the fucking question. They CLEARLY did not want to talk it out. They just wanted to avoid me entirely while also antagonize me for shit I did years ago that wasn't even that bad compared to the crap they did.
Lumii, if you manage to see this, which I know you will because I know you have a Discord and I know someone's gonna send a screenshot to you on there... All of this could've been avoided had you just been a better person.
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Good Luck Charm - Chapter 26
Summary: After being married, Negan decides to take Y/N to a place they visited once when they were younger to give her a honeymoon which brings back old memories.
Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), etc.
Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Some Smut, etc.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/135889690
Notes: I have several chapters of this still planned. I know I took a very long break from this one and I'm sorry, but I'm doing my best to finish the stories that I still have opened. I want to make sure to finish them all. Thanks to anyone that might still read this one!
“Do you really think it’s safe leaving the kids with strangers?” Y/N inquired while her and Negan walked through the woods to an area that Negan insisted they get out of the car to walk to. The sound of Negan not walking far behind her was heard and it made her swallow down hard. “I know that you trust these people, but after hearing the way some of them talk to you I’m not sure that they are the safest people for the children to be around.”
“Hey, I know what I’m doing, okay?” Negan snickered from behind her, pushing aside some of the brush that was in front of him while he followed her. “I know some of my men are questionable, but I know who to put my faith in when it comes to the children. I wouldn’t put their lives on the line, I promise you.”
“I want to believe you, but with your past…” she looked over her shoulder at Negan hearing him let out a grumble that showed his displeasure over the fact she was still holding the past over his head. “It takes a lot to regain my trust Negan. I’m not who I used to be.”
“You trusted me enough to marry me,” Negan reminded her, moving in beside her to pinch her bottom causing a yelp to fall from her throat. An amused snicker fell deep from within him and it made her roll her eyes. “I think if you were worried, we wouldn’t be here going away for our so-called honeymoon. You probably would have killed me.”
“I came close a few times,” she pointed out and he let out an amused rumble. “It’s just been hard for me to be away from the children. Since this whole thing started, I’ve never really been apart from them.”
“Exactly, which is why you need this break,” Negan hushed her, his arm hooking loosely around her waist while he led her in closer to him. “For years, all you ever wanted was to be married to me. Now you are and we’re going to do it right. Well, as right as you possibly can in a world like this.”
“Oh, so you’re going to divorce the women that are your other wives?” she blurt out and it was followed by another rumble of a growl. “That’s what I thought.”
“The only real wife that I have is you and you know that,” Negan pushed further, his arm tightening around her in a possessive grasp. “I think we just need to focus on how we’re actually together now. Married. Like a real couple. The way it should have been a long time ago.”
“Mhmm,” she stopped moving, reaching for his hand to pull him to face her. A long exhale fell from her lips while she stared up at him. Palming down over the side of his face, she drew him to her and shook her head slowly. “You know how much I love you Negan. How much I’ve always loved you.”
“Of course I do,” Negan whispered, his thumb drawing lines over the side of her face. “You know I love you too. Very much. And once you came back into my life I decided that I was going to stop wasting fucking time. I’m gonna focus on being a good dad to my children. Nathan and Evie are gonna know what it’s like to have a good father in their life. You’re going to know what it’s like to be pampered the way you are meant to be.”
Tipping up on her toes, Y/N met Negan in a faint kiss that made him hum against her flesh. Stroking his fingers over the side of her face, Negan pulled back ever so slightly and his hazel eyes were locked on hers. There was always something in the way that Negan looked at her that took her breath away. She hated it, but also loved it at the same time.
“I love you,” Negan slurred, leaning in to skim his lips in over hers drawing her to close her eyes tightly. Warmth flooded her veins when he finally claimed her lips in a heated kiss. His right hand palmed in over her bottom and she huffed out. “What?”
“Are you ever going to tell me where you are taking me? Are we almost there or…?” she braced her hand over the center of his chest, purring out when he nibbled at her bottom lip. “Negan.”
“We’re almost there, here…” Negan reached for her hand leading her through the woods, looking back at her with an amused expression. “I wanna see if you remember this place…”
“What do you mean?” she smirked knowing that they had been walking for a while toward an area that felt uphill. When he pushed aside one of the bushes, she let out an amused sound when she saw the group of tiny cabins that sat at the top of a hill that overlooked a large body of water. “God, not this place.”
“So you remember this place?” Negan felt her pulling her hand from his when she moved toward the center of the camp to gaze around. “I thought maybe you would forget it.”
“How could I forget this place? Sure things are overgrown, but I would never forget this place,” she let out something that resembled a giggle and Negan smiled brightly, shoving his hands into his pockets while she looked around. Pointing to one of the cabins, she looked back at Negan and saw him nod. “It was the first year that we were dating. You wanted to go on a road trip with no plans. Just hit the road and see where we ended up. So we got on your motorcycle and just started off in whatever direction I picked.”
“And not far into the trip you started getting handsy so we pulled off here and decided to break into one of these cabins,” Negan added to the conversation hearing her let out an amused sound. “We both agreed these things were ridiculously small, but they were good enough for what we needed which was to just have sex. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other…”
“And we didn’t close the door the first time and there was that deer,” she recalled making Negan huff out when she turned to face him.
“The deer was a pervert that just wanted to spy on us,” Negan walked across the gravel toward her when she moved up the steps to the cabin that they had snuck in together almost fourteen years ago. “I still think that deer wanted a piece of me.”
“You would,” she noted looking into the windows of the cabin to let out a sigh. “We ended up just staying the night after you chased the deer off. I remember late into the night you thought it was the deer coming back and you ran out buck ass naked…” her laughter grew louder making Negan’s face flush over with warmth. “And it was a group of campers that were actually staying here coming back from their hike…”
“Thank God they were all college kids,” Negan snorted finding amusement in the fact that she still found what happened back then so funny. “College kids that understood our situation and let us continue to stay the night in our cabin.”
“I told you to put some pants on when you went to chase the thing off, but you were so…I don’t even think I know the word,” she recalled their past, pushing open the door to see that there was a small mattress set up in the tiny cabin along with a few things and she gazed back at him over her shoulder. “This was your idea for our honeymoon?”
“Listen, we always wanted to go and be by the water, but we were so focused on screwing around that we never got the chance. I thought you might enjoy the memory,” Negan reasoned with her, leaning against the doorframe when she moved into the small cabin. “I had the boys clean up the place and make sure that it was livable for us for the night. I thought maybe we could go for a walk by the water and then…”
“Have sex?” she suggested and it was followed by Negan letting out a thick rumble of laughter. “I assume that’s what you were looking for here?”
“Well,” Negan stepped forward, cornering her inside of the cabin. His breath was hot over her lips while his hazel eyes ate her alive with his stare. “I originally thought I would be romantic with everything. Go for a walk by the water hand in hand. Talk about things. Then maybe we would come back here, have a small dinner, make some smores and then afterwards I thought the two of us could get comfortable with one another and I would make love to you inside of the cabin,” Negan informed her drawing her breathing to get caught in her throat when he pressed his body in against hers. “But, if you want…I’d have no problem getting you on your knees to have you suck on my big cock before I feast on your beautiful, wet pussy. Then we can have sex on the beach. Grab one of the towels, take our clothes off and lay out on the sand. We can go as fast or as slow as you please. We can have sex all day if that’s what you desire. As long as you give me a few breaks to hydrate myself and allow the big guy some time to recuperate. I can have your pussy full and dripping with my cum by the end of the night if that’s what you want.”
“Jesus Negan,” she gasped when he curled his fingers underneath her thigh to pull it up and over his hip. Heat flooded her face and she felt her heart hammering inside of her chest. “Why do I suddenly feel like that girl at the bar all over again wanting you to deliver on everything you just said?”
“Because I still turn you on,” Negan’s nose nuzzled hers, his palm snaking between the two of them to caress over her most intimate parts. Tipping up, she brought their lips together and Negan’s tongue flicked out against hers. Their breathing grew louder when they started pawing at one another touching the other. “My cock is so fucking hard already.”
Dropping her hands, she fumbled with his belt and pulled apart his pants working to tug them open. Finding trouble at first in getting the zipper down, she didn’t hesitate to push down his pants and his boxer briefs when she undid the material. Almost immediately his cock sprung free from the cotton prison it was behind and her palm wrapped around his girthy length.
“Good girl,” Negan complimented her, his forehead pressing to hers while she jerked him off. Grunting, Negan watched her lowering down to her knees like he had suggested earlier. Pressing his left hand against the wall, he used the right to hook his fingers into her hair while she pressed wet kisses against the shaft. Closing his eyes, he bit down on his bottom lip as her lips wrapped around the tip. Moaning out, he enjoyed the way that her tongue lapped at the sensitive tip while she took her time bobbing her head over the length of him. The damp warmth of her mouth around him felt incredible. Even after this many years, he could never get sick of sexual acts with her. She knew exactly what to do in order to please him and it was exciting every time. “So good.”
The wet sounds her mouth made over him was turning him on even more with his hips bucking up toward the back of her throat. Her caress worked over his length as well and he was very verbal with her about everything. Praising her consistently. He knew that she loved that.
“Fuck,” Negan moaned out, falling forward when she deep throated him. Wincing out, it didn’t take much for him to be coming down her throat and having her swallowing down every drop of his release. When she pulled back, she wiped at her bottom lip and collected the taste of him before sucking at her fingertips. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
Forcing her to him, he kissed her with everything that he had, tasting himself against her and groaning out against her flesh. Working open her pants, Negan was eager to get them from her body hearing her gasping when she almost fell over with his strength. Dropping down to his knees, Negan reached for her left leg and threw it in over his shoulder to give himself some space. Gasping out, she dug her fingers into his shoulders to brace herself when he peppered wet, hot kisses over the inside of her thigh. Once his mouth centered in over her core, he could feel her fingers sinking into his hair and clinging tightly to it.
Eagerly pleasuring her, Negan did what he knew she loved using his tongue and fingers in unison. It had her grasping at the wall with her free hand to try to brace herself. From the caresses of his tongue, the slurping and kissing over her most sensitive parts, it had her panting out his name and he loved every second of it. When she hit her first orgasm, he didn’t stop what he was doing. No, he wanted her not regretting a moment of agreeing to marry him after everything. Plunging his fingers into her, he caressed over her g-spot while his tongue and lips worked perfectly in unison over her clitoris.
“Negan,” she cried out his name when she came again and he let out an amused rumble when he lazily pulled his mouth away from her, bringing his fingers up to his lips to suck over them with a proud expression. “You’re something else.”
“I know,” Negan placed another small kiss over the inside of her thigh and carefully placed her leg back down. Standing up, he pressed his body to hers and smirked down at her. “Let’s go fuck by the water.”
“And what if a walker shows up?” she muttered against his lips hearing him snicker and he shrugged his shoulders.
“I’ll bring our lunch, our weapons and if a walker shows up while I’m balls deep inside of you, then we will deal with it,” Negan’s nose wrinkled when she rolled her eyes and pushed into the center of his chest. “How are your legs? Do you need me to carry you down there? They were kind of shaking up a storm.”
“My legs will work,” she answered working her pants back over her body. At first, she didn’t think they would genuinely do exactly what he said, but they did. Negan led her to the beach, laid out a towel and lowered her down on top of it after undressing her. They had sex on top of the towel that was much more passionate than she would have imagined it would have been, but afterwards when he was laying in over her, she found herself caressing at the back of his neck. With their bodies tangled together and the warmth of him over her, she closed her eyes and let out a long exhale. “It’s moments like this where the world actually feels normal again.”
“With my dick going soft inside of you,” Negan teased against the side of her neck. Letting out a disgusted breath had him snickering against her flesh. “I’m fucking with you baby.”
“You’re always going to be Negan,” she sank her fingers further into his damp, dark hair. Pressing a kiss to his temple had his head lifting and the weak smile he gave her made her heart skip a beat. “I mean when we are alone like this. Out on a beach with no one here. It reminds me of when we were younger without a care in the world.”
“Well we can make this world as normal as we can,” Negan grabbed her hand that had her ring on it. Peppering faint kisses over the back of it had her smiling. It made him happy to know that she could find happiness with him again after everything. “We’re starting slowly, but over time we can start building this world together.”
“This was all I ever wanted,” she reminded him with Negan’s thumb sweeping in over the ring that she was wearing. “To be married to you. To have you look at me the way you are.”
“I know,” Negan acknowledged with a hesitant smile, lowering his head to press his forehead to hers. “And now we get to spend the rest of our lives together working on the relationship that we should have been having this whole time.”
There was a silence that filled the air between them when Negan sighed. Pulling his hips back had both of them letting out muted moans before Negan laid in beside her. Having her cuddling in closer to his chest had his arm immediately wrapping around her to hold her tightly to him.
“I was thinking,” Negan began, licking at his lips when he lowered his head down to cuddle his chin in over the top of her head. “Mostly about our family. I want to work on building our family back up. I want to be a good father and a good husband. I think we can make this whole thing work together. Maybe when things get settled down the line, we can actually try adding to our family again. So I can do things right from the start. I fucked up so bad when you were pregnant with Evie and then with Nathan…”
“I don’t think we should have more,” she interrupted Negan, a sincerity in her eyes when she expressed how she felt about things. “Evie was hard, but nothing can describe just how hard it was having Nathan. I love that boy and I’m so thankful to have both of them in my life, but doing everything on my own was just too hard. With the way the world is right now Negan, we’re just lucky to have the two that we do have.”
“I know that,” Negan stressed, his brow line furrowing in frustration. Y/N’s fingers were stroking through the dark curls of hair that was over his chest showing that she wasn’t mad at him, just stressing her feelings to him on the subject. “I just want another chance to do things right.”
“You have a chance to make things right,” she reminded him, her fingers tracing up over the side of Negan’s face drawing his hazel eyes to her. A lump developed in Negan’s throat when those words hit him hard. “Having a new baby isn’t going to make things right. Focusing on your relationship with your son and daughter will. You have everything you could ever want and more in both Evie and Nathan. A boy and a girl. A little girl that loves you more than anything and would do absolutely anything for you. I think the real testament to your love and your hope for change is how hard you work on building your relationship with the two of them. What you do to make things right for them.”
“I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving my children, I just don’t think adding one more to the family would be a bad thing,” Negan suggested, his thumb sweeping in over her jawline to admire her with the way she was looking at him. “We make good looking babies and that’s something the world needs. More babies to fill it that aren’t totally ugly.”
“Nice sell honey,” she rolled her eyes, tapping playfully at his chest. Laying her head back down over his chest, she listened to the sturdy sounds of his heart beating and sighed. “We have so much to work on, I think that just needs to be a thought very far out in the future.”
“Well, you never know how much time you have with someone,” Negan countered, his tone shaken when he thought about his time with Lucille and how long they had been apart. “The world has always chose when the two of us should have a child, so I guess I’m going to leave it in mother nature’s hands.”
“You do that,” she replied with a hesitant smile, her lips pressing faint kisses over his chest again. “I don’t want to raise a baby in that place Negan. It’s hard enough thinking about how we are going to raise Evie and Nathan there.”
“The Sanctuary?” Negan responded, his face scrunching up in confusion when she nodded. “It’s safe there Y/N. We have food, crops, protection…”
“Enemies, nowhere to raise a family except for your bedroom, no real places for them to play and people who despise you,” she stopped him before he could continue to sell what a good place it was for their children to grow up in. Bracing herself over his chest, she shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “Part of me wishes that you come to your senses and you decide that you’re ready to give up this life. That you just want to be a dad and a husband.”
“I do want to be a dad and a husband,” Negan countered, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he defended himself. “That’s all I want right now. To be with you and the kids. To continue working on my family so we can be happy.”
“It’s not going to happen at The Sanctuary Negan,” she declared, a sense of sadness flooding her features when she continued. “The best thing for your children would be for you to step down and move to the farm. We have everything there. Protection that you could enhance. Food that you are capable of growing. A home. A real home for the children to grow up.”
“You know that I can’t do that,” Negan frowned feeling the guilt that was eating away at him with her lecturing him about the farm again. “I know that you think that life is capable…”
“It is,” she interrupted him, her hand lifting up to stop him from going off any further. “You quit. You move to the farm and you be the family man that you insist you want to be. It’s that simple.”
“And I explained to you, it’s not that simple. I have people that count on me. I’m the leader of this group and if I walk away from it, I’m letting everyone down. People will die because of me leaving,” Negan pushed once more and he could tell that she wasn’t buying the story that he was selling. “I keep a balance there. I keep harmony between all of them because if I was gone, it would be a fucking disaster there.”
“You are in the middle of a war with another community that is hell bent on killing you,” she reminded Negan making his lips part. He went to say something, but he just huffed and made it clear by his lack of eye contact that she was right. “The people there, they hate you. Some might hero worship you, but mostly they are scared of you. I love you for the man that I know you to be, but the Negan that is in charge of that community? It’s the darkest parts of you I didn’t want to remember you for. Staying at The Sanctuary is just going to give your children a hostile environment to grow up in. It’s never going to be fully safe there Negan. You know that just as much as I do. I think you know that leaving and going to the farm is the best place for you. For all of us.”
“I can’t Y/N,” Negan whispered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “This is the one thing I built on my own. Maybe I don’t run it the way that I should, but through the years we were separated I learned really fast that being the good guy leads you to nothing but pain. All the good guy does is die. I don’t think I’m bad, but I don’t think I’m good either. I just do what I have to in order to keep people alive.”
“You know there was a day when that farmhouse was your dream,” she brought back their past and it had the color draining from Negan’s features. “That’s why I bought that house. It was everything you ever wanted. You wanted animals, a place where we could just have a family and be together. It was never my dream, it was yours.”
“I know,” he asserted, his hazel eyes tearing over when she looked upon him with such high expectations. “You’re right.”
“Then why are you so against that life?” she wondered, but he didn’t have an answer for her. In fact, it just made him uncomfortable and kind of emotional. “I love you, so fucking much. That’s why I agreed to marry you. That’s why I agreed to all of this crazy shit. Because beyond all doubt in this world, I know that my heart completely belongs to you. But right now, you are picking to be this character over your own family. You’re trying to balance the two, but you’re not. We’re secondary in your life Negan. And this Sanctuary Negan is going to continue to rule over the dreams you really had in your life. Not these false dreams that this world created for you.”
“I can’t be the man that I wanted to be when I was in my twenties Y/N,” Negan stated with a frown, his head shaking slowly. “Yeah. More than anything I wanted to be a dad. That was the thing I wanted more than anything. I wanted to be happy and I wanted to have a big family. That farmhouse was never achievable for me.”
“It was,” she shook her head with a scoff. “And it still is.”
“The world will not let me be the man that I always wanted when I was younger,” Negan repeated, his hands reaching up to cup her face in them tenderly. “I’ve done things. Things that I can’t take back and…”
“But you can run away from that life Negan,” she pushed, her eyes tearing over when she stared down at him with physical pain at the idea of what he was saying. “I know that you like feeling important. I know that you like having the power. Power feels good. But in the eyes of your children? You’re the most important person in the world. You are their hero. You’re their silly, amazing father that loves them. What more in the world could you possibly want?”
Parting his lips to say something, Negan huffed out with his bottom lip trembling and he was actually getting really emotional, “You have your second chance Negan and the world is holding it out for you. It’s giving you your second chance. It’s just waiting for you to take it. Because you have two beautiful children and a woman that loves you. A woman that has always loved you. A woman that has put you above her time and time again because all she ever wanted was to make you happy. A woman that just wishes that for once…” in that moment her words stopped and he saw that she pushed up to sit down on the towel. Slowly lifting up, Negan looked to her and saw that she was trying to hide that she was getting emotional herself. “A woman that wishes for once you would choose her. That choosing her over your own ego is what you really want.”
“I did choose you,” Negan curled his finger in underneath her chin to get her to look at him. His breath hitched when he saw the tears that were sliding down her face. “That’s why we are married Y/N. I chose you.”
“I just want to be enough for once Negan,” she informed him, a whimper falling from her parted lips. “You always told me that I was perfect. And god I hated hearing it. Because there was always that but that followed. You’re perfect Y/N. You’re just not perfect for me…”
“That was the past,” Negan reasoned with her and she let out a hesitant laugh. “I was so blinded by my own stupidity to see how things really were.”
“Negan, The Sanctuary is your Lucille now,” she spoke quietly, her jawline flexing when his hand lowered. Hearing that was like a kick to the gut. “You’re picking The Sanctuary over me. Over your children. And once again, I’m perfect, but I’m not perfect enough to give up this life for. I gave up all of my dreams for you Negan. Every single one of them. All I’m asking you to do is to finally take the dream you wanted from the start. The one you begged me for twelve to eleven years ago. Be a father. Move to the farm. Forget this life. You got to be powerful. You got to experience it. If you really, genuinely love me…be the family man you always wanted to be. Become that farmer. Take care of the crops and the animals. Cowboy Negan was always a very good look for you.”
“Shit,” Negan scoffed lowering his head down and letting out an upset breath. When she laid that out on the table before him like that, things really started to make sense to what she was saying. Stroking at the back of his neck, Negan shrugged his shoulders and sighed. “Fine. Yeah. You’re one hundred percent right.”
“About what?” she was curious seeing him wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand drawing attention to just how beautiful his hazel eyes truly were.
“That I need to give that place up. I have my family back,” Negan answered admitting to her that she was finally right. “I have my wife and my children back in my life and that farm was my dreamhouse. Which I’m fully capable of having now. I’ll move my men out. I will grab the things I want and we can go there. Be together. Live our life there and be happy.”
“Come on,” she sighed feeling like it was just something he was saying at this point. “You can’t say things that you don’t plan to follow up on Negan. I’ve known you for fifteen plus years.”
“Then look at me,” Negan demanded, reaching for her to get her to lock gazes with him again. “I promise you, when we get home I will let everyone know that I’m done. They can pick amongst themselves who they want to be their leader and I will take you along with the kids to the farm. We can be happy together. Like we always should have been. We’ll be out within the week.”
“Tell me you’re being serious,” she begged of him and Negan nodded his head.
“I’m very serious. You’re absolutely right. For too long you’ve been living your life for me. It’s time I finally lived the life I always stressed that I wanted,” Negan declared with a simple shrug of his shoulders feeling his chest aching. For so long she was in pain because of him and he knew that. “You are perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect for the children and I just want to spend the rest of my life proving to you how perfect you really are. I can’t do that at The Sanctuary. I swear to you with everything that I am. I fucking mean it.”
An amused rumble of laughter fell from his throat when she leapt forward into his arms knocking him back into the sand. Holding her close, Negan laughed and nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck. He couldn’t remember a time that she was happy like this because of him making the right decision for once.
“I love you more than anything,” Negan admitted, his words vibrating against her flesh after he pressed kisses against her lips. There was something in the way she looked at him that took his breath away. “You’re everything to me. You and those kids. I’m not going to fuck it up this time.”
“Thank you Negan,” she breathed out, her forehead pressing to his while he stroked his fingers through her hair. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I have an idea,” Negan whispered, squeezing her tightly in his arms. “It’s time I picked you for once. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
----
It was late into the morning and by now Negan should have been on his way back with Y/N to The Sanctuary, but he couldn’t find it in himself to move. Yesterday they had spent more time on the beach together before finding their way back to the cabin. Inside of it, they had shared memories and just talked for a while before falling back into one another again. Y/N had fallen asleep easily last night in his arms, but Negan didn’t get much sleep if any at all. Instead he just held her in his arms and watched her sleep. Everything she said the night before was true and he knew it was time for him to finally step up to be the man he always promised he wanted to be.
The sun was shining in through the small window, hitting them just enough from where they were laying together on the tiny mattress they were stretched out on together. Being someone that was a full-time father and farmer he knew they wouldn’t get as many chances to have these wild, crazy sex nights together. At The Sanctuary, he had people to watch over the children, but now he had to be one hundred percent dad. Even though he enjoyed moments like that, he was willing to finally take on that role. Honestly? Negan had never really been a fulltime dad. Not since Evie was born. Even though he was always on backup, Negan was a fulltime dad two weeks a month for seven years. Then the world fell to shit and Lucille got sick. That’s when he gave up being a dad completely. And that was the biggest mistake he felt like he ever made in his life.
Picking solely Lucille and throwing away his daughter was a stupid mistake chosen out of fear. So many days he wished he could take it back, but he couldn’t. Now he finally had the chance to make things right. For Evie. For Nathan. For Y/N and finally himself. Most of his nights had been fueled by nightmares since he lost Evie. Now he had the chance to live the life he always wanted. He should have taken it from the start, but now he was finally seeing just how important it actually was for him to take this step.
“You have the prettiest eyelashes I’ve ever seen,” Y/N’s voice was quiet while she shifted over his chest from where she had been sleeping. Gazing down, Negan saw that behind her tired eyes, she was staring out at him. “I was always drawn to your eyes and your smile.”
“I think little man has the eyelashes too,” Negan noted, stretching his body out finally when he knew that she was fully awake. All night he had tried to stay still because he was afraid of waking her up. “I think he’s going to be a charmer when he’s older. Winning the hearts of whoever he sets his sights on.”
“He has taken on a lot of your physical traits,” she agreed with Negan, a tiny smile pulling at her fatigued features. “Nathan has your looks. Evie has certainly got your personality.”
“I’d like to think they were an equal mix of both of us,” Negan gave her a wink, squeezing her in closer to his body with a snicker.
“Being at the farm will give me time to work on things with Evie too,” she admitted, her fingers stroking over the center of Negan’s chest. “For years our relationship has been terrible. She’s hated me for something I couldn’t control. Hopefully, with us being a family again and being at the farm we can finally make things right.”
“I thought things have been getting better,” Negan suggested, his eyes narrowing when he thought back on his discussions with Evie to be better to her mother. “I’ve heard her tell you that she loves you.”
“Yeah, but hopefully this can help heal our daughter’s heart,” she whispered, pressing a faint kiss over Negan’s shoulder. “She’s become someone I hardly know over the last few years. She used to be the happiest, smiley little girl. Whether she was with you or me. I always knew you were her favorite, but she loved me a lot too. Maybe we can finally get back to that at the farm. So I can spend more time trying to be a good mother to her. Focusing on her.”
“You’ve been an extremely good mother to her,” Negan stressed, his fingers sweeping in underneath her chin to get her to look up at him. Sadness remained from her talking about their daughter and Negan shook his head. “You kept our children safe. You made sure that they were always well kept and alive. Protected. You’re an amazing mother Y/N and I promise you, Evie is going to see that one day soon. And then everything will be back to normal.”
“I hope so,” she sighed, cuddling her head in against the center of Negan’s chest. “We should probably get ready to go, huh?”
“Eh,” Negan scoffed, his nose wrinkling in discomfort. “Let’s just wait a little while longer. This is the last time we can really fuck off as parents. Let’s take our time together and then slowly make our way back. I want to focus on the time I have with you for a little while.”
“So you want to have sex again?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching in amusement. Placing his free hand over the center of his chest, Negan shook his head. “Fine, I’ll just get dressed…”
Watching her crawling away made Negan huff when he swiftly moved in over her, pinning her down face first on the small bed that was beneath her. With a giggle, she felt Negan’s lips kissing down over the side of her neck and she purred out, “that’s what I thought.”
“You flash your ass at me, what am I supposed to do?” Negan wondered turning her onto her back to get her to look up at him with her arms hooking around his shoulders. “I am a man after all. My dick is already hard in the morning and then you go flashing your ass at me.”
“You’re a dork,” she snickered with Negan’s lips covering hers. Each kiss grew in intensity having her gasp out when Negan adjusted her legs to have them wrap around his waist. “Wait.”
“What is it?” Negan breathed out, nibbling at her bottom lip eliciting a purr from her. “You don’t want this?”
“I want this,” she assured him, stroking her fingers down over the side of his neck taking her time to stare up at him. “Can you just drag it out for me? As much as I like sex, I’m just kind of hoping for something where I feel loved. Where it feels like you are making love to me.”
“I have absolutely zero problems with that,” Negan whispered behind loving and passionate kisses.
And he gave her exactly what she asked of him. It was slow and unhurried. There was lots of touching, praises and careful movements. What she asked for, he delivered and afterwards they just laid together for a little while longer before starting to pack up with things.
“I think I’m going to steal a stash of the candy, coffee and the ice cream before we leave The Sanctuary,” Negan announced while they gathered their things and started heading back toward the car that Negan had parked down at the bottom of the mountain.
“Maybe some seeds for planting might be good too,” she suggested moving in beside him and making him yelp out when he felt her pinching his ass. It made him smile though that she was open to being that way with him.
“The hands woman!” Negan was loud and silly when he swatted her hand away from him. Once they had everything packed up back inside of the car, Negan reached for her hand to pull her in against his chest. “I love you. So fucking much. You know that.”
“Hmmm…I don’t know,” she whispered, she tipped up on her toes wrapping her arms around the back of his neck to pull him in closer to her. “Maybe you should say it again so I can think harder about it.”
“I fucking love you,” Negan slurred against her lips pulling her in closer to him. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she whispered against his mouth, humming when they pulled away. “I always will.”
“Good,” Negan teased with a wrinkle of his nose. Palming down over her back, Negan’s palms squeezed at her bottom before peppering a few final kisses over her lips. “We need to start back on our drive. But just know, this is a day I won’t soon forget.”
“Nor will I baby,” she agreed with a wink following Negan to the car where he opened the door for her to get in. Taking the seat, she watched Negan almost skip to the other side where he got in himself. The smile on his face was contagious. And it made her happy to see. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this happy for me.”
“I could say the very same thing about you,” Negan muttered, his fingers reaching out to sweep in over the side of her face. “I’m just glad that I’ve been lucky enough for you to give me so many chances Y/N. I never deserved them, but you never gave up on me. You were the one person that never did.”
Instead of saying something, she led him to her again to kiss him. It took his breath away and he nuzzled his nose in against hers. There was a need deep inside of his veins to show her all the love in the world. And he hoped that she felt it. Especially after everything he put her through. He wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to prove it too. And that started with finally giving up The Sanctuary to focus solely on his family.
On the drive back, they would have silly discussions since it was quite a distance for them. Just to keep each other focused. When they weren’t super far away from The Sanctuary though, Negan had noticed a small town that they hadn’t searched before.
“Why don’t we go search to see if there is something good?” she suggested, pointing in the direction of it. “It’s a town right off the water. There might be some good supplies there. We can find something for the farm and snag it before other people find it?”
“Shit,” Negan stopped the car, gazing over at her with a huff when he realized she was right. “I probably could just have them run out tomorrow and go search for things honey. That way it’s back at The Sanctuary before we actually leave.”
“I don’t mind Negan,” she offered seeing that he was actually considering his options. “It gives us more time together for our honeymoon.”
“Fine,” Negan grumbled under his breath, turning the car around so they could head back toward the city. Driving through it, Negan made sure that it seemed pretty much abandoned before parking on the main street in the small town. “There is no one here which makes me think it’s probably picked over babe.”
“Or we can just be lucky,” she eagerly got out of the car and stretched. Grabbing his weapon and Lucille, Negan was quick to follow after her as they made their way up main street looking over the stores that were there. “I remember when we went to places like this all the time when I had my days off. Your favorite place to eat was always that seafood restaurant.”
“I do love a good lobster roll,” Negan sighed thinking about the past when she used to pamper him. “God, I’d kill for one of those. They had the best biscuits, lobster rolls and soup. I probably could have eaten there every day if I wasn’t poor as fuck. I miss that shit.”
“If you get a few lobsters before we leave, we can try to recreate the recipe,” she suggested looking back over her shoulder at him with a simple shrug. “We aren’t that far away from the coast, right? I’m sure we can get someone to find some.”
“True,” Negan agreed with her, noticing the way that she was eyeing over the storefronts as they would pass them. “Do you remember when I was a deadbeat and I would make dinner for us all the time when you were at work?”
“Sure,” she smirked at the thought of him calling himself a deadbeat. “I remember Lucille telling me that when you lost your job at the school you became an even better cook.”
“Right,” Negan’s expression became somewhat serious when she brought up two negatives from his past. Lucille and losing his job at the school. “I was going to say that when I was living with Lucille, we didn’t get lobster a lot because we didn’t always have the funds, but there was one point where I made these two really incredible versions. I did the Maine style and the Connecticut style. I think I was on the verge of getting it just right.”
“You should have became a chef,” she commented, finding herself surprised when Negan’s fingers hooked with hers attempting his best to hold her hand. “I know you loved your sports, but you always loved cooking. I would have supported you.”
“You always took care of me Y/N,” Negan reminded her, stopping her enough to get her to look out at him. Reaching out, he brushed his fingers through her hair and sighed. “The sad thing is, I do believe if I told you I want to be a fucking chef, you would have opened a restaurant for me.”
“I would have done anything for you,” she breathed out, her eyes hooked on his and it made him let out a long exhale.
“I never doubted that,” Negan alerted her with a sigh leaning in to press his forehead against hers. “I probably would have been so much happier if I did become a chef.”
“Probably not,” she teased him, tipping her head back to stare into his hazel eyes. “The first time someone complained you would probably come out and dump the food over their heads before kicking their ass. I’d be bailing you out of jail all the time.”
“Touché,” Negan snickered, nuzzling his nose in against hers before something caught his attention in the corner. “From where we are I see a grocery store, a toy store and a bar. Let’s go hit up all three.”
“Sounds like a date we would have had when we were younger,” she suggested with a weak smile causing Negan’s nose to wrinkle. Keeping his fingers tightly around Lucille, he grabbed a hold of her hand and led her first toward the grocery store. The glass on the doors were shattered and she didn’t have a lot of faith that there would be much of anything after all this time. Tugging at the doors that were held together by a chain, Negan made enough room for her to get between them before following her in. Inside shelves were pushed over, broken glass covered the floor and there was a flickering light coming from the back of the store. “I’m going to guess this is a no go.”
“We’ll still look,” Negan hushed her, motioning her to wait. Tapping Lucille against the floor several times, Negan waited to see if he could draw out any of the walkers. When nothing happened, he looked back at her with a shrug. Grabbing a cart, Negan reached for it and pointed toward the basket. “Get in.”
“You must be joking,” her nose wrinkled looking down at the cart and he huffed.
“Have some fun,” Negan snickered, holding his hand out to help her into the cart after she rolled her eyes. Like he usually could, he convinced her to do what he wanted in getting into the shopping cart. Putting Lucille into the cart with her, Negan started rolling the cart throughout the store observing what was left on the shelves. “We used to fuck around a lot when we were younger.”
“In what fashion?” she tipped her head back and he smirked. “We got in some trouble in the first year together.”
“We did,” Negan snickered stopping in one aisle when he saw some cans sitting on the shelves. Reaching for the first few he wiggled them about causing her nose to wrinkle since it was sardines. Tossing it into the cart with her, Negan grabbed a few of the other cans that were left there knowing that it was things that were just picked over, but it didn’t hurt to have non-perishables. “I just meant we would do silly things like this. I remember when I did this with you that one time we ended up getting kicked out of that store.”
“Rightfully so, we were being stupid,” she reminded him with a hesitant laugh, “you were racing up and down the aisles like a maniac.”
“But you had fun,” Negan grumbled under his breath grabbing a firm hold of the handle starting to push the cart down the lanes quickly like he had done when they were younger. It had her grasping tightly to the sides of the cart with every sharp turn he took. Hearing her laughter made him smile figuring that she was reminiscing about their past and just having fun being silly.
“Negan!” she squealed out when one half of the cart went up on its side but he managed to catch it, slamming it down onto the ground. “You’re going to kill me if you keep doing that.”
“I’ve got you. You’re safe with me,” Negan assured her, pressing down to steal a quick kiss from her lips. Being more careful, they went through every lane and grabbed the things that were still left before he took her into the back. As soon as the door opened, Negan heard her let out an uncomfortable sound when they saw the long-decomposed corpse of someone that had hung themselves. “Well fuck.”
After some silence, Negan cleared his throat and moved around the body, “He probably had a stash in here somewhere if someone didn’t steal it already.”
“Negan,” she frowned noticing that Negan didn’t have a care in the world that there was a body hanging before them. Managing to work her way out of the cart, she was careful in the way she moved when she observed the body. “I don’t see any marks on him.”
“Some people just couldn’t handle the stress of things Y/N,” Negan let out an excited breath after pushing through some of the bags to see that there was one hidden with a bunch of supplies. Lifting the bag up, he moved in beside her to show her what he had. “Jackpot. Looks like they have some guns, food and tools.”
“Don’t you feel bad taking his things?” she pushed hearing Negan scoff when he set the bag down in the shopping cart.
“Why? He’s not using it,” Negan suggested moving around the back of the store. There were a few sleeping bags in there so he was surprised this was the only body they actually found. “You know Y/N, I learned to stop caring about people a long time ago. When you care about people it’s only going to get you killed.”
“You care about me,” she reminded him and Negan scoffed.
“That’s different,” Negan countered with a quick tip of his head.
Gasping out, Negan tugged at one of the bags knocking over one of the shelves. It had both of them jumping when a hidden area was revealed behind one of the walls. Clearing his throat, Negan’s eyes narrowed when he realized what was being hidden. Y/N went to step forward and Negan immediately shook his head, “Don’t.”
“What is it?” she of course couldn’t listen to him and moved in beside Negan to see what looked like three walkers that were fading away almost completely. Two of them looked like children and the other was a woman. “Jesus.”
“Come here,” Negan pulled her back toward him noticing the sadness that flooded her features. “You can’t let things like this bother you Y/N. They aren’t people anymore.”
“They were babies Negan,” she felt her throat going dry assuming that the body they found hanging was likely the father and the husband of the bodies that were almost completely fading away. “It bothers me to see what has happened to so many children.”
“It happened to most of the world,” Negan hooked his arms around her, pulling her into a tight squeeze. “Instead of being upset about people we never knew, you have to focus on the fact that all four of us are still here.”
With a nod, Y/N forced herself to look away and Negan urged her out away after doing another quick scope of what was left. There was a door they could get out of easier in the back. Taking the things back to the car, Negan packed them up and then led her toward the bar. When the doors were locked, Negan grumbled to himself and managed to break one of the windows. Crawling in, he motioned her to wait and then pulled the tables away from the door so she could get in. Once she was, Negan pushed the tables back and instructed her to wait for him while he checked the kitchen. And he was glad he had her stay where she was because there were multiple sets of bones in the freezer. Around the bar he was able to find some alcohol bottles and some bags of flour that hadn’t been used. After he was done setting them aside, he could see that Y/N was standing behind the bar and it made him smile.
“Does this bring back old memories for you?” Negan slid his hands across the bar top and stopped before her. Tapping his hands against the top of it, Negan bobbed his head about and she snickered. “I bet every time you came to a bar you thought about our first time together.”
“I did,” she agreed with him, looking behind the bar and her eyes fell upon a bottle of whiskey that was left there. Picking it up, she set it on top of the bar and watched him smile. “Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed being a bartender. I was good at it. And for the most part, it was always nice learning things about people. Sometimes it felt like people just came here to have someone to talk to because they had no one.”
“You want a drink?” Negan grabbed a hold of the bottle wiping it off with his white t-shirt. Managing to get it open, he smelled the alcohol inside before taking a long swig of it. Hissing out, he tipped his head to the side and sighed. Extending his hand out, he saw her eyeing over the bottle before accepting it. Considering her first sip, she shrugged her shoulders before taking a long drink of it as well.
“Do you remember when we first started dating? You used to come to the bar every night after that guy tried attacking me. You would just take the corner table at the start of my shift and you would stay until I left,” she pointed toward the back corner of the bar they were in and he smirked when she brought up their past. “I thought I was the luckiest girl alive. This incredibly handsome stranger saves me from getting hurt. He’s so good looking, charming, he’s good at sex and he’s well equipped,” she rambled off causing Negan’s nose to wrinkle and he snickered. “And he wants to keep me safe. I couldn’t believe that someone would ever be dumb enough to dump him. Sure, he may have been going through a rough time, but he was…perfect.”
Negan’s jawline flexed when she looked down toward the bar top and sighed, “I don’t know if you remember, but you used to draw all the time while you were waiting. I would come over and you’d have all these little things drawn out on bar napkins and you’d write me these notes.”
“I was always drawing back then. I used to think Evie started drawing because I was always doodling,” Negan noted, setting the bottle down and reaching out to stroke his hand in over Y/N’s. “What about it though?”
“I kept all of those,” she admitted with a weak smile, her head shaking when she let out a long sigh. “I used to always put them in my top drawer when I got home. I think I had even put them in a booklet at one point. It’s at our old house somewhere. Probably in my closet if it wasn’t stolen. There were two I always kept with me though. It was the ones where you would draw us as cartoon characters. The first one you ever drew me…and…”
“And?” Negan’s eyebrow arched in curiosity when her lips parted and she let out a tremoring breath.
“There was one you drew when I was pregnant of what was supposed to be us at our wedding. It was us at our wedding holding the baby. It was really cute. I still have them in the nightstand beside the bed at the farm if your men haven’t destroyed it. I had a few pictures in there too,” she declared with a long sigh grabbing the bottle to drink more than he expected her to.
“You really kept those?” Negan wondered, his throat tensing up when she nodded after setting it down. “They were just meant to be silly little things. I thought you would throw them away.”
“I was head over heels in love with you,” she reminded him grabbing the bottle before moving around the bar to go over toward the corner of the seating area to sit on the floor. Moving in beside her, Negan slowly lowered down and could tell that she was upset thinking about things. “You know, originally our four-month ultrasound was supposed to be a week later. You were just so excited that when they had an opening and called me, I took it.”
“Why are you doing this?” Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat when he noticed that she was getting upset again about their past. “You have to stop hurting yourself over our past.”
“You don’t ever think about how things would have been if we didn’t take that appointment that day?” Y/N inquired with Negan’s features growing sad. Tipping her head to the side, she shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “Of course you don’t. It gave you back Lucille, so why would you never want it to happen?”
“It gave you Lucille too,” Negan countered reaching for the bottle when he thought she was drinking too much of it. “And you loved Lucille too.”
“I love Lucille. Her dying didn’t stop me from loving her,” she corrected Negan, a shuddering breath falling from her throat. “A lot of my life I considered the what ifs. Like what if I would have taken that later appointment? We could have found out about our little girl. You would have been happy. You would have missed Lucille completely. We would have gotten married. Maybe we would have been living happily in that farm all along.”
“Or maybe I would have been bitten while working at the school,” Negan reasoned with her noticing the tears that were in her eyes. “I can’t even begin to apologize enough to you for our past. I fucked up. I fucked up so fucking bad. I know that. But it happened and we can’t change what happened. What matters is that we are together now. You always wanted to be married to me. Now you are. We have two beautiful children and by the end of the week we will be living at the farm together. You’re going to get everything you ever wanted in life. Everything I ever wanted in life. You have to think about that stuff and not the past.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” she apologized with Negan grabbing a hold of the bottle of alcohol to drink a hefty amount from it.
“Here I was thinking about the two of us absolutely plowing each other in the bar nightly. Whether it was the first night or every night after when you would close up. We had so much fun,” Negan recalled with a hiss when he lowered the bottle from his lips. “I had so many of the best memories from those nights. We figured out so many different ways to have sex in a bar…”
A loud sigh was heard and he noticed the way that Y/N was staring out at him from the things that he remembered, “What?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head letting out a long sigh. An uncomfortable laugh fell from her throat and Negan felt a warmth flooding into his face. “That’s really your best memories with us? The two of us fucking in the bar? I’m talking about the things you did that made me feel happy and safe. And all you can think about is us fucking?”
“I get in a bar Y/N and my dick gets hard thinking about it,” Negan answered with a simple shrug of his shoulders. Pointing down toward the center of his pants, Negan scoffed and let out a long exhale. “I was kind of hoping that we could have another round. Relive the past a bit. That’s why I picked a bar in the first place.”
“Of course you did,” she stole the bottle from him and stood up from the floor to pace.
“What’s wrong with me wanting to bend you over the bar and fuck you?” Negan questioned, his brow line furrowing when he let out a grunt as he tried pulling himself up. “It’s our honeymoon so to speak. I don’t see a problem with it. We like fucking each other. Our first time was in a bar and a significant part to the beginning of our life was fucking in a bar. So yes, I get in a bar and I think about fucking you which are pretty incredible moments.”
“I was searching for some of your favorite moments that you spent with me. Instead you responded with sex which is what I always thought our relationship was anyways. It would have been nice hearing some good memories that weren’t sex related,” she rolled her eyes, heading for the back when she heard Negan call out to her.
“The first night you let me sleep in your bed with you, I never felt more wanted in my entire life. I was never a hero. In fact, in my life I never felt as good as I did when I saved you that night. I’m not a hero Y/N. We both know that, but never in my life could I ever top that moment. I remember you were laying in my arms and I thought about how much I loved you. How much I wanted to keep you safe. I still remember the way you looked sleeping on my chest that night,” Negan rambled out, drawing her to walk back into the room with him when he approached her. “The day we got Darwin together is one of my absolute favorites. I close my eyes and I can still picture what it was like. His ears were so damn big and he was so fucking small. We would play with him in the backyard and he would trip over his ears. One of my favorites was when we moved in to that home after being in your apartment. I remember carrying you over the threshold thinking about how in that moment, it felt like everything was right in the world. Or the night you told me about being pregnant. I’ve never been happier in my life.”
Negan was getting emotional when he threw his hands up in the air, “Even if it wasn’t special for you, the day that Evie was born. I remember sitting in bed beside you, holding that little girl in my arms and nothing ever topped that feeling again. That happy, fucking through the roof feeling to know that we created something so fucking beautiful. Something so fucking perfect.”
Holding his hands out like he was holding onto a baby, Negan huffed out and shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not much of a romantic Y/N. We both know that. We both know I’m an asshole. We both know I say the dumbest shit. My mouth runs before my brain even considers what it’s doing. But that doesn’t mean I’m not head over heels in love with you. My favorite nights were those times we would just sit on the couch together watching old episodes of the Twilight Zone. So please, if I’m being fucking horny don’t think all I care about is sex because I really fucking love you. And I’m doing my best. I’m just a dick that is trying his best. I have a lot to work on, but I’m trying. And hopefully moving to the farm will help push that along.”
A shuddering breath fell from Y/N’s parted lips when he wiggled his fingers at her, “So why don’t you set that bottle of alcohol down and come here so I can kiss the shit outta you.”
“You have a way with words, don’t you?” she rolled her eyes, setting the bottle of alcohol down on top of the bar. Heading across the small bar, she felt Negan’s arms wrapping around her when he lowered down to capture her lips in an extended, passionate kiss that had her wrapping her arms around his shoulders. When they finally did part, Negan nuzzled his nose in against hers. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I know,” he agreed with her, an arrogant smile tugging at his features when he started to pepper faint kisses over her lips. Sliding his hands down in over her bottom had her letting out an uneven breath. “I’m going to guess bar sex is out of the question now?”
“Will it make you happy?” she frowned with him considering her question before nodding. “Then fine. I would do anything to make you happy.”
----
Tags:@slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @neganswoman @ravenrose18 @xojdmasf
#Jeffrey Dean Morgan#Negan#Negan fanfiction#The Walking Dead#twd fanfiction#negan x you#negan x reader#Negan Smith#negan smut
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Kobra Kid's answer to : "What is a day you'll never forget?"
Written in my wattpad a few months ago, i posted Jet's here so I'm doing Kobra's too (: enjoyyyy
Mines nothing in comparison to Jet's. I'm gonna go with a nice one. I'm not huge on being sentimental but the day Poison won a bunch of awards for his art in a zone wide exhibit was a great day.
It was mid July 2017. Girl had just come to live with us maybe a month earlier. We had gotten word about a big exhibit that was gonna happen in zone five. Poison had always been a bit of an artist and that's what he always wanted to do with his life before BL/I. He tried to keep his skill sharp in the zones but with limited supplies it was really hard. Honestly it made me really sad to see his dreams crushed. We had been trying to convince him to enter for several days before he gave in. He painted and drew all sorts of things. Scenery, people, emotions...it was really cool. We drove out to zone five and he submitted almost a dozen pieces. We walked around to look at the other entries while they were being judged.
" I wish I hadn't done this." He whined
" Why?" Jet asked
" Because...Look at this stuff... Mine's nothing like theirs." he said sadly gesturing to all the colorful papers and canvas spread out around him.
" Oh stop it." Jet said playfully smacking him
" Your stuff is way better, Pois." Ghoul said trying to cheer him up
" If I were a judge I wouldn't even bother looking at the rest of this stuff. Yours is clearly the best." He finished
" Mmm."Poison said, still not buying it.
" It's really good." Girl said running up next to the red head.
" You're an amazing art dude." She said smiling
He smiled at her, " Thank you Missile." He said bending over to give her a hug.
We all kinda separated and walked around separately but I stayed with my brother.
We walked quietly for a while just looking at the many painted and pastel cacti and sunsets... I'm not an expert but it seemed a little generic to me. I could tell he was getting sadder by the second feeling so much more inferior to the more established artists. Poison has always lacked self confidence in everything. His appearance,personality, skills. And he shouldn't feel bad because he's a unique human being and that's something to be proud of.
Poison sighed.
" You know even if you don't win I'm still proud of you Pois." I said
" You should save the pride for something worth it." He said sadly looking at a charcoal sketch of yet another cactus.
" Nope. I'm still proud of you. And I always will be no matter what you do." I said again.
"..."
" Alright Poison. Enough self pity. Look at this stuff. It's all the same thing. Sunsets and cactus. Boring bland colors and no emotion behind it right?" I asked
" I mean...sorta."
" And you put thought and emotion into your stuff. Colors and variation. "
" Thats-"
" Let me put it this way." I interrupted turning to face him.
" These guys may have some talent and knowledge for sure. They have no creativity to back it up. It's just knowledge.It's kinda like how most people can write...but only a few people can ACTUALLY write, and have a story to tell or a message to get across." I finished. He thought for a second.
" So please...don't be down on yourself for having something a lot of people can only dream of. Both knowledge AND creativity." I said, pulling him into a tight hug.
He hugged me back and I could feel him release all the tension in his body.
" Thanks Kobra." He said
" Anytime. "
*STATIC*
"WILL PARTY POISON PLEASE MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE JUDGES TABLE AT THIS TIME" a loudspeaker screeched out
" I saw a flash of fear in my brother's eyes.
" relax. You got this alright?" I said
" Yeah... " He said walking away. He looked back at me and I gave him a thumbs up.
I found Jet, Ghoul and Girl.
" Why did they want Poison?" Ghoul asked
" Dunno..." I responded.
*STATIC*
"WINNERS HAVE BEEN ANNOUNCED AT THE JUDGES TABLE! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED THIS YEAR AND WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN NEXT YEAR!"
They went to the front as they were instructed and saw Poison grinning ear to ear with all his colorful creations displayed hung with diy ribbon's. He ran up to us and immediately hugged me.
" Thank you for always believing in my Kobra." He whispered
" Anytime." I said
He was wearing a scratched and chipped gold metal with the engraving of " Track and Field champions" crossed out with a sharpie to read " Reigning Zone art champion."
Everyone hugged and congratulated him. He picked up Missile Kid and spun her around while she laughed.
" I told you you'd win!" she exclaimed.
I Know it's nothing I really did but I'm still proud of my big brother for everything he has done and has yet to do. He's been competing and winning competitions all over the Zones ever since and I'm so happy to see him being what he always wanted to be.
Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble,
Kobra Kid out
#my chemical romance#mcr#gee way#gerard way#g way#mikey way#ray toro#frank iero#my chemical fucking romance#danger days#the fab four#the fabulous killjoys#the true lives of the fabulous killjoys#party poison#kobra kid#jet star#fun ghoul
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something something a mother's day fic set after Threnody. it has been at least 3 mother's days now. at this rate my gf's cats will call me mother sooner than this gets finished, so
"You looked troubled."
Seras blinked. Her master was in front of her with his torso sticking out of the ceiling.
"Eh." She did not reply any further than that.
"You know, I almost miss the high-pitched, annoying police girl. At least then you were respectful."
"I'm always respectful, Master," Seras said, wide-eyed and innocent.
Alucard disappeared and reappeared in the hall, standing properly this time. He looked bored, which explained his nosiness.
"Perhaps I may be able to dispense advice."
Yeah, sure. Dracula. Vlad the Impaler. Giving her sound advice. Great. She would have better luck summoning Walter on an ouija board.
"Has anyone told you how loud your thoughts are?"
Her eyes twitched. Alucard was trying, in his own dysfunctional way, to make up for his thirty-year absence. Which was all fine and dandy, but as usual he had the worst timing. "I'm sorry, Master. It's just something to do with Integra."
"Oh?" There was a distinct inflection.
Seras prided herself on not blushing. Ever since the day in which the office was not wrecked, the relationship between her two masters had improved. Too improved. Actually, even Pip was starting to avoid the walls near Integra's bedroom!
"Yes, well, it's Mother's Day soon."
Alucard stared, uncomprehending.
"And I want to get her a present, is all. The thing is, I've exhausted my options—"
"You want to get Integra a Mother's Day gift," he deadpanned.
"Yes. I do every year."
"Do you see Integra as a mother figure?"
"Yes? Oh! I know it's strange, since we're only three years apart, but that's easy to forget when she has those wrinkles—which are lovely on her," Seras added hastily, misreading Alucard's expression. "I know I tease her! But I told her, Master, go and apply those creams I got you for your fiftieth birthday if you're really that unhappy—"
"Then, pray tell," Alucard drew out, "what does that make me?"
Seras blinked again. Then it dawned on her.
"O-oh." She fidgeted. "I guess that would make you a, um."
There was a pause.
"To be honest, Master, you're, er, you've been away for so long—no offense! It's not quite—how should I say—" Seras coughed. "Um. I could—oh! Wait! Let me show you something."
She whipped out from her pocket a black rectangle.
"This is the modern phone, Master!" Seras explained quickly. "A smartphone! It can take calls, pictures, videos, go on the internet—do everything, basically. So, er, what I'm trying to show you is...there!" She swiped several times on the screen and then held it up.
Alucard stilled.
"It's Master Integra's old photos! There aren't a lot, she always gets so snippy when I try to take them..."
The photo on display was taken a few summers ago. It was a side profile of Integra, capturing a moment seconds before she had fully turned and swatted at the phone. They had taken a rare day off at the beach. She was gazing off into the ocean distance, and perhaps because of that, her one eye was a deeper blue, a depth that went to the far reaches of her thoughts.
"I almost burned that day," Seras said casually, next to Alucard's stock-stillness. "You can't tell, but she has on a blue sundress. She looked so pretty in it! I had to convince her not to go back and change, what was all that sun lotion I'd put on her for, then? And…" She trailed off. "Um, you need to use your bare finger, Master."
Alucard was attempting to copy what Seras had done and swipe for more pictures. Upon her input his gloves vanished. Seras did not miss how they had been blank.
Her eyes curved. You really are… "Wait."
She jumped and tugged at his sleeve as he began to walk away. "Master, you can't take it, that's my private phone!"
"Don't you think privacy is redundant when I can read your thoughts?"
"What? What does that even--that just means you shouldn't be doing either! Give it back! I--I need that to message Pip--"
"Your goose boy? Don't you two talk enough in your heads?"
"Never you mind," Seras screeched, and ripped the phone from his grasp. "Master, I promise I'll get you your own, just give me an hour!"
Alucard looked at her owlishly. "I want the photos."
"With the photos! God!" Seras darted into a wall to escape.
#Hellsing#hellsing fanfiction#this has been in my drafts for so long i get confused if i ever posted it or not#if i have pls ignore#seras victoria#Alucard#let's get my Hellsing writing mode up and running#alutegra
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Halloween
Pairing: Bruce Wayne x F!Reader
Request: the wayne famuly dressing up for halloween agianst their will beecaeuse grace said so ? headcono s? sorry for the typos my phone isnt cooopperating
Warnings: vague spoilers for the film, mentions of injury
Word Count: 1158
A/N: Happy Halloween! I actually received this request months ago, not long after I finished writing convenience, but I wanted to save it for today because I knew I probably wouldn’t have time for a full Halloween celebration this year. There’s not much to this, it’s just a fun bonus chapter for a change. I actually did flip a coin for the costumes because I couldn’t choose! Anyway, I hope you like it!!
Ko-Fi
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
“Do we have to dress up?” Bruce asked, dropping down onto the sofa next to Y/N.
“You don’t want us going out trick or treating, and I can respect that with how Halloween always is in the city, but that means we have to do something at home. And even Alfred agreed to dress up if he could pick his own costume!” She shifted into his side as he opened an arm for her and angled her laptop towards him on her knees. “Which means we have to pick something.”
He sighed and pressed his lips against her temple. “What’s everyone else picked?” He raised his eyebrows as she smiled. “What?”
“Alfred is going as Dracula. I showed Grace a page of costumes and she pointed at the pumpkin dress, which I think was mainly due to the bright colour, you know because she’s two, and Dick has decided he wants to go as Batman.” She tilted her head back against his shoulder so she could watch his reaction. She was not disappointed, his lips parted and his cheeks went pink.
“Why Batman?” He said, barely above a whisper.
“Because, he’s a hero and he saves people.” She directly quoted from Dick.
“Oh.” He buried his face in her hair as his cheeks went an even darker shade of pink. “They actually sell Batman costumes? Or are you planning on building him one?”
She snorted. “I ordered him one so he can also wear it to school. Could you imagine the questions we’d get if I sent him in a completely accurate replica?”
“Yeah, that might not be the best idea.” He laughed. “So, what are our options?”
“Ash and Linda from Evil Dead, Money Heist red jumpsuits and Dali masks, Gomez and Morticia Addams, or Buttercup and Wesley from The Princess Bride.” She flicked through the tabs she had open on her laptop.
“Flip a coin?” He suggested. “Evil Dead vs Money Heist, Addams vs Princess Bride, and then flip for the winners?”
“Sounds good.”
***
“Pretty!” Grace squealed, and Y/N was unsure if she was referring to herself or to Y/N.
She chose to go with the former as she swept Grace into her arms. “Yes you are.”
Grace giggled and wrapped her arms around Y/N’s neck. Y/N smiled and smoothed out Grace’s pumpkin dress before straightening her headband.
“Shall we go see everyone else?”
Grace nodded enthusiastically and Y/N smiled before walking out of her and Bruce’s room. She balanced Grace on her hip and used her other hand to lift the hem of her red dress far enough off the floor so she would not trip over it while walking down the stairs.
Dick was doing a one handed hand-stand at the bottom of the stairs, his costume cape hanging around his head. “See I told you I could do it!”
“Consider me proved wrong.” Bruce said with a smile.
Y/N put Grace down as Dick flipped himself back the right way up. The Batman costume she had found was a pretty good fabric imitation, but she could point out several inaccuracies with it (not that she would ever say that out loud). Bruce’s costume was pretty accurate; black trousers, boots and shirt. It had come with a mask, but they had both decided it was probably best if he did not wear it, just in case someone got hold of the photos further down the line and drew the similarities between him and Batman.
“Black is your colour.” She said with a smile as he walked over to her.
“Red’s yours.” He said, glancing down to take in her dress.
She ran her hands over his shoulder. “Though next time, I think you should also dye your hair blond and grow a tiny moustache.”
“As you wish.” He nodded his head slightly in an imitation of Wesley and her smile grew wider.
“I don’t think the kids have any idea who we are.” She glanced back to where Grace was giggling as Dick did a cartwheel.
“I think the film is age appropriate for Dick, maybe not Grace. I’m not sure she’d like the blood.” Bruce smiled.
Y/N hummed. “You’re probably right.”
“So what’s the plan?” He asked, glancing at the minimal decorations her and Alfred had put up (the penthouse was already gothic enough without them).
“Alfred’s making bat and pumpkin cookies, we’re going to help the kids carve pumpkins, and then we’re going to watch kid appropriate Halloween films.” She told him before dropping her voice. “When are you planning on going out tonight?”
“I’ll head out after the kids go to bed. GCPD should be able to deal without me until then.” He said.
She hated that her mind flashed to the Mayor’s murder and everything that followed. It had been three years since everything with the Riddler had happened, but the city was still feeling the effects of the aftermath. Some of it had been good; everyday crime levels had dropped slightly and the last two Halloweens had been much calmer. But Falcone’s successors were starting to fill the power vacuum and reinstate most of his businesses.
“Hey.” Bruce said softly, reaching out and pulling her hand away from where it had been tracing the scar on her collarbone; she had been so far in her own thoughts that she had not noticed she was doing it.
She swallowed down the memories. “Be careful tonight.”
“I will be, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“Cookies are in the oven.” Alfred said as he walked in form the kitchen. The look he gave them told them he was also thinking about three years prior.
“You make a good vampire.” Y/N smiled.
Alfred had slicked back his hair and dribbled fake blood down his chin and over one of his older white shirts. But the best part was the cape he was wearing; Y/N recognised it easily as one of the first ones she had made for Bruce, before she integrated the flight suit. From the frown on his face, she was pretty sure Bruce had recognised it as well.
“Thank you. And I must say you and Bruce make a good Wesley and Buttercup, but maybe not as much as Dick makes a good Batman and Grace makes a pumpkin.” Alfred smiled at the kids and scooped Grace up into his arms, balancing her on his good hip.
Dick gave a typical strongman pose as Grace giggled.
“Right, everyone into the drawing room, I want a family portrait!” Y/N announced.
Alfred carried Grace in as Dick started up again with the cartwheels. But Bruce caught Y/N’s arm before she could follow.
“I love you.” He said, cupping her jaw to get her to look at him.
She smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you too.”
Taglist: In the reblogs
#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne x fem!reader#the batman#battison#batman x reader#batman imagine#batman 2022#convenience#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#Halloween#robert pattinson
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Six Sentence Not-Sunday
Tagged by @grey-gazania -- everyone seems to be posting whole scenes for this now, so have a small flashback scene from the AU:
I was struck, suddenly, by the image of the kitchen fifty years ago.
The furniture was much the same -- the cream walls, the table, the tall wooden cabinets -- but all the crockery and other bits and pieces had changed, or at least were in different places. It was disorienting, to see it so similar and yet so different: five blue cups instead of three blue and one green, several of Maedhros' recipe books missing, the pans in disarray on the sideboard. Fourteen-year-old Makalaurë sat just beside me at the table; in his lap was a mass of black fur, which resolved itself into a yellow-eyed cat when I looked more closely. He had been feeding her scraps of leftover fish -- so his habit of sneaking the kittens illicit treats was not new!
Maitimo rushed about the kitchen, a pan bubbling away on the stovetop and many other things demanding his attention -- enough to make dinner for at least eight. (This must be during the period when they had no cook.) He went to fetch something from the pantry, but as soon as he left the stove the pan started to froth and hiss. He hurried back to attend to it, but he was flustered: his hand slipped and he caught his wrist on the hot metal.
Maitimo drew back with a sharp hiss of pain, shaking his hand out. Makalaurë stopped fussing over the cat and looked up.
"Nelyo? What's wrong?"
"Burnt myself. It's not bad." Maitimo set the wooden spoon back in the pan and went across to the scullery, running the cold tap. "Could you keep an eye on that pan?"
"You're sure you want to leave it under my supervision? You must remember I am the kind of person who mixes up flour and icing sugar--"
"I don't have much choice, do I?" Maitimo snapped. "Don't touch the pan, just let me know if it starts boiling over." A minute later, he added: "I still don't understand how you managed to mix those two up. I know you get distracted, but you'd think you could see the difference!"
"That just shows why you shouldn't let me cook!"
Maitimo sighed. "What am I to do with you all?" he complained. "Turko and Curvo don't care about cooking unless it's over a campfire; Moryo pretends he's not interested because of Turko; the twins just want to throw flour at each other--"
"And I make inedible cakes," Makalaurë finished cheerfully. "Wait -- Moryo actually likes cooking?"
"When the others aren't there, yes," said Maitimo, shutting the tap off and wrapping a damp cloth around his wrist. "He's quite a good little helper. Won't touch anything slimy though."
The pan had not boiled over under Makalaurë's watch, and so Maitimo stirred it once and left it to simmer. Makalaurë, meanwhile, was quite occupied trying to keep the cat from getting onto the table and making a mess of Maitimo's freshly-chopped vegetables.
"I took my eyes off you for one second--"
I can't think of anyone to tag (it's been a long day), I guess anyone who wants to do this can :)
#this scene is unfortunately stuck in my scraps folder#it doesn't fit in the chapter i originally wrote it for and now i don't know where to put it :(#tag games#we will make this place our home
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Hypergraphia.
I've been on a journey since Nov. 1st. A wild one.
I decided this year to do NaNoWriMo again. I've completed it two other times, albeit a very long time ago. 2001 and 2003. I've tried a few other times, but never successfully and it's been a very long time since I've thought about trying again.
But hey, I've been off antipsychotics for 6 months now. I figure I can write again. Maybe sustain enough of a momentum to cross the finish line again.
If I knew then what I know now, I may have decided not to. Maybe I would have anyway. Hard to say.
I did some prepwork. Decided I wanted to write a ghost story about a house haunted by the ghost of a disabled girl, killed by her father in the 1940s. I was calling it Astrid's Attic. Made a basic outline. Created and fleshed out some characters.
But then Nov 1st rolled around and I found myself staring at a blank google doc with no idea how to kick it off.
I had music on. A Skid Row song I used to like back in the early 90s was the next track. And I dunno. It was like lightning struck. A memory from my childhood roared back to life and the words jumped onto the page.
Only it wasn't Astrid's Attic. All that prep work, the outline, the idea of it, just vanished as I drew from ancient memories of a 14 year old in the early throes of mental illness and the storm of adolescence.
I'd started this strange world of psychics and secret societies. And a fake rock band was my vehicle at the time to tell the tale. The characters were an amalgamation of the bands I listened to at the time. Rock and metal from the 1989-1991 era.
But this time, I wasn't 14 and struggling to find the right words to convey the thoughts in my brain. I wasn't writing with pen and paper, filling notebook after notebook with whatever my brain was vomiting up with the limited vocabulary and writing skills I had at the time.
Now I'm several decades older, I type something ridiculous like 160 words a minute, and I know how to craft a narrative.
So 12 days later.... I'm over the finish line and my brain is not done. Oh no. By the end of November, I dropped everything into a word calculator. Over 200k words. The main story doc itself, and miles of notes and brainstorming I did over the month as I worked out the details.
Hypergraphia is a weird thing. A blessing and a curse. Because since embarking on this journey, I can't do anything else. I can't think of anything else. My days are either spent writing, or thinking about writing.
I could put a stop to this. I've already told my therapist what's going on and we're trying to figure out how to contain it. Direct it. But it's really gd hard. I could go back on a low dose of antipsychotic.
But I don't really want to. At least, not till the boys' story is finally told. The demon sleeping in my memory since 14 finally exorcised.
I think I owe younger me that much, at least.
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Today is my OC Theta's birthday! I first drew them five years ago on March 17th, 2018. I've included some early design sketches and artwork of them along with some thoughts under the cut, if you're interested. :]
This is the first time I ever drew Theta back in 2018. I didn't even have a name for them at the time, and because I like greek letters I picked "Theta" as a placeholder name, and it stuck.
I had a vague idea in my head of them being a hooded figure, and I got inspiration for their outfit from some techwear blogs I was following at the time. Their outfit has remained pretty much the same, however their coat got longer every time I drew it. X]
This is another drawing from 2018, after I had solidified their design a bit more. I still had no idea what their face looked like, though. (The red eyes under a dark hood thing is also pretty clearly inspired by another character I like. Oops.)
This is a finished piece from 2018 that I never ended up posting anywhere. One thing I wanted to get across with this character is that they're basically a manifestation of my own social anxiety.
I eventually gave them a face. Above is a reference sheet I made for them in 2018, and it's mostly still up-to-date. Their appearance on the right is the one that I've posted about most often.
Above is another drawing from 2018. One thing that's probably obvious by now is that Theta isn't human. At least one person has guessed this already, and I also alluded to this fact in a picture I drew of them recently.
Their backstory is very murky to me because I've written and re-written it several times and I'm still not satisfied with it. However, the gist is that Theta is an anxious shut-in who eventually learns something about themself that they wish they hadn't.
And here is one last picture from 2018, featuring an early design for my other OC Rhode, who I made to be Theta's dramatic foil. Rhode wants to drag Theta out of their shell, and I think they have a good dynamic.
If you've read this far, thank you for showing an interest in my characters and taking the time to read all of this. I hope it was interesting to see how Theta evolved over the years. :]
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OUR SUN SETS — tour reflections edition
(28/03/2023) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 21) (From Auckland)
She emerges! by Aleks Zaric
Hello darling friend,
Whoaaaaah it’s been a minute since I wrote. Something died inside my laptop, and I’ve been putting off the repair for a few months (stubborn refusal to form a relationship with another bit of tech?), but the realisation that I was actively not doing my job due to not having one made me bite the bullet.
How have you been??? Last time we spoke I was in South America, just about to turn twenty six, at the tail end of a big year of shows. Got off the plane in New Zealand and torpedoed straight into bed with a fevery cold, emerged a week later into the chaos of December, typically the start of the beautiful summer days here, instead that of several months of storms and humid rain.
I wrote this, back then: “I’m playing this song my brother showed me, Mariella, over and over. It sounds like how I feel these days, soft with some pain, the voice of someone who’s touched a lot of beautiful things. This year has wrung me out. I’m a rag. I’m the t-shirts and underwear I hand-washed in so many hotel sinks. Christmas is a tall wave and I haven’t bought anyone gifts.”
Always amused by the drama of the past self! Had some lush swims between the storms, cooked a lot of fish, set off on the Aus/NZ tour feeling relaxed and unwound.
Off grid bb.
A couple days ago, we played the last official sundial-and-eight-band-members show for Solar Power, the last of 70 shows in 20 countries (!!). I feel actual pride in myself, something that’s extremely hard for me to let myself feel, not just for completing it but for loving it, relaxing into it, feeling really open and free and not tight and fearful like tours past.
I want to thank you for your part. I’ve always felt that pop music is a collaboration between artist and audience, that a pop song isn’t truly finished until listeners add their voices to it, and I think the same goes for your participation in the show. You show up and you sing every word, and all of our voices is what we all hear. At this stage in the piece I feel there are no casual fans, just people singing extremely loudly and clearly for 100+ minutes, and the commitment and generosity of this is not lost on me.
The final show in Perth was an encapsulation of how special and right this tour has felt. We played at a beautiful grass and stone amphitheatre outside the city. I cried at soundcheck thanking the crew, overwhelmed by the love and care behind this group of people working so hard to get it right for me. At showtime the stars were clear and you could smell eucalyptus mixing with the smoke machine. We did the show for the last time looking over at one another and smiling, savouring all the last times we’d do things. I took my place for Royals and in the first flash of white light I saw a silk thread. In the next flash I followed the thread down to find a thick black spider, maybe an inch and a half long, two feet away from my eyes. I gasped and drew the microphone towards me, watched it slowly travel all the way back up the truss. Some kind of special omen.
Touring this record changed how I heard and saw the album — I wonder if you felt this too? — showed me that a work is constantly shifting and in progress, the definition changing all the time.
Looking back yesterday at some of your pictures from the show, sourced by the very dedicated and special twitter account Lorde_fix, I realised that you give me the opportunity to see myself in states of power, glory, grace, sides of myself I don’t think I’d be able to access or see as clearly if not for these nights together.
Your pix I loveeeeee <333
I said onstage that night that making and touring this album has set so much right inside me, I truly think it’s bought me decades in this bizzzzniz, can’t wait to show you what I mean. I finish this chapter feeling for the first time not like I need to get away from the world but like I want to get deeper inside it, more countries, more flavours, more life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Here’s a little Aus tour diary, by Aleks Zaric:
Moments after coming offstage in Perth
Levitating!
Makeup removal, and a scenario with MUNA that I cannot fucking explain -so special to have them join us on this run
11:52pm: standing on the stage in Sydney after you all went home.
So. Where to now?
[REDACTED]
I guess I’m not telling, not for a while. I’ll send you an update from time to time though, now that the laptop’s back online.
Special books I’ve read recently:
Notes by Eleanor Coppola
My Phantoms by Gwendoline Riley
Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux
Second Place by Rachel Cusk
Life’s Work by David Milch
Dinner With Lenny by Jonathan Cott
Books I’ve ordered:
Love Me Tender - Constance Debre
The Nature Book - Tom Comitta
Small Fires - Rebecca May Johnson
Animal Joy - Nuar Alsadir
Alma Mahler’s diaries
The People’s Hospital - Ricardo Nuila
Idra Novey - Take What You Need
Gwendoline Riley - First Love
Jenny Odell - Saving Time
Oh, I had a party in December and made a really nice punch based off a post I saw from Stissing House. I’m copying the loose/made-up recipe here, give it a try if you like!
1 cup gin
1/2 cup chartreuse
1 1/2 cup green tea
1/2 cup pineapple
3 cups soda water
1/2 cup citrus (lemon/grapefruit/lime)
Lots of fresh mint
Topped up with extra citrus as the night went on.
Leaving you with a beautiful bit of fan art, basically how I envisioned the SP universe, a fitting way to say — for the last time — serve the bees… wear sunscreen… thank you and goodniiiiiiiiight! I love you so much.
Speak soon, from somewhere,
E
PS. BONUS SECRET CONTENT::: The pillow I commissioned from Bode for my dressing room before the tour started, feat. all the things that make me feel calm — grapefruit fruju, hibiscus, kissing, Pearl, books, bud.
(source: received this email)
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I just want to thank the Tumblr community from the bottom of my heart for helping me find joy in drawing again. For helping me find art a little less scary with every comment I get. And to remind people, once again, how much of an impact positive engagement has for creators, no matter how small or big.
Long, midnight ramble on my struggles with art below.
Late night thoughts, but lately my motivation for drawing has been rekindled as a way to release the brain rot on the fandoms and games I've loved recently. I lost my love for art for a really, really long time and for someone who's been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, and has identified as an artist my entire life, literally witnessing myself lose my love for art and drawing has been a really painful process. Especially since it happened over a relatively short period of time. Over 20 years of loving and creating art, only to be extinguished in just a small period of 2 years. When I came to a sudden realization that I hated drawing, I mourned over it for a really long time. I missed the joy I got from drawing, the pride in my art, the passion to learn and hone my skills. I used to think I could never imagine a future where I wasn't constantly thinking about the next thing I wanted to draw, but now I am living that future. Art is never on my mind anymore. I try to draw and I become filled with anxiety and dread. There's not a single thought about picking up my pencil and creating. The only things I had drawn in the last 4 years were for zines and it felt like work, not joy. Drawing felt like a job, and it stopped being the center of my universe. I stopped being active on social media, bc I was only on here for art. But even looking at other people's art left a bitter taste, and I didn't want to look at any of it anymore. Several times over the last few years I've tried to rekindle my love for art, tried starting small again. But it always fizzled out quickly, and I'd abandon it again. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram and it hurts to look at, because I distinctly remember how much joy I got from drawing every single piece, what my thought process was, and how excited I felt in creating. It's been so long since I've felt happiness in drawing.
Lately, I've drawn some things bc my emotions for the brain rots in my head were Too Big and I couldn't think of releasing these big emotions in anything other than what I know. In art. I just drew something, didn't think too hard abt it, and posted them. Like barfing your overwhelming feelings on paper then throwing it away. But the engagement I've gotten on these emotional-dump drawings have been so wonderful, no matter how small or big, and it's made me so happy. Very specifically from Tumblr. Tumblr has reminded me what it's like to actually interact with fandoms again. Instagram/Twitter/etc has become such a competitive platform for content creators, that any sense of (the minimal) community and fandom interactions have been completely wiped out. But Tumblr has stayed true to it's roots through all these years and never have I been more grateful.
For the first time in years, I'm excited to draw again. I actually want to draw. I finished multiple drawings in the last 2 weeks, more than I have in years. Instead of feeling numb and exhausted after drawing like I had been, I'm actually filled with adrenaline and excitement to draw more. I'm excited to participate in fandoms again, engage in communities. This is all because other people's positive engagements on my little drawings have motivated me to draw more.
Drawing has become a very daunting, anxiety-filled, unpleasant experience for me. I lost my love for art years ago. But the positive engagement in my recent art has pushed away some of that anxiety, and it's becoming increasingly easier for me to pick up that pencil again. Drawing is starting to feel fun again. I don't know how long this will last, if it will fizzle out like it has time and time again. I don't know if art will turn back into the Big, Bad Monster again. But for now, I'm just relishing in the feeling of art feeling like freedom again. And I have the Tumblr community to thank for that.
So for everyone on here, thank you.
#cherry rambles#midnight thoughts#in ND terms art has been my special interest my whole life then some bad experiences ended up with art causing me a ton of anxiety and drea#since art became a trigger for negative emotions my brain switched off its interest in it#bc art was no longer a source of dopamine#then all of a sudden a life-long special interest fizzled out instantly into dust#anything related to art became dust in my mind#i had absolutely no interest in it whatsoever#and that hurt more than anything#bc no matter how hard I tried I couldn't rekindle that joy in drawing anymore#adhd peeps if ykyk#but after a few positive interactions on my recent art my brain has now latched on again it is SO happy#and now all I wanna do is draw??? bc its giving dopamine again??? all of a sudden my brain is like HELL YEAH ART!!#and god its like I can /breathe/ again for the first time in years#I feel like ME again - the person that loves art
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Warning: boys love! 🏳️🌈
I’ve had a major decline in my followers after posting this on Instagram 🙈 buuut, but who cares.
I am welcoming all Kakashi ships, unless it involves blunt abuse and minors 😡
Don't expand if you don't like NSFW and boys love in particular!
Minors please do not interact!
The uncensored version is on my Twitter. 😏
A dawn of passion… 🥵🥰🤤🔞
February this year is a remarkable month for my artistic self 🤭 just a little while ago I shared something I drew for the first time, and here we go again: although this time Kakashi 𝙞𝙨 in the artwork, he is joined by a lovely black-haired young man Wren in a very sensual moment 🤭
Well, you know what they say: one 🍆 is good but two is better 🤤
I am really grateful for this commission because it was a slight challenge for me in several ways.
First of all, I have never done male x male before. It certainly imposed a certain level of responsibility and I dare say I did well 🤭
Second, I have not been very comfortable with NSFW in the recent months in general, must have been bitten by some prim fly 🤭 and I have to admit now that I set off doing this commission with more external confidence than I truly felt at the time 🙈 but the further the more I loosened up and it felt good shaking this off 😁 perhaps I would do more NSFW going forward…
Another thing is that normally I prefer to make half-body or even chest-up artworks whereas here it’s a full body artwork - without clothes, and, let’s be honest, not exactly a very simple pose either 😁 I tried convincing the commissioner to crop it, but again as we proceeded I realized myself that I actually wanted to keep it without any cropping 🤭
Finally, I’m not too comfortable adding elements to a fully rendered and “flattened” artwork, but here we added quite a few finishing touches after that - and it wasn’t so bad actually! Turns out I don’t need to make line art for every single extra sneeze 🤭
So with all the above said, I am very grateful for this little spicy project, I enjoyed it a lot 🤗
And I’m very happy the person who commissioned me permitted to share it 🤭
☙ ❦ ❧
Hatake Kakashi © Kishimoto Masashi
Wren © respective owner
#Kakashi x OC#Kakashi x male OC#yaoi#boys love#Kakashi without mask#Undress Kakashi#art commission#OC commission
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These drabbles just kept coming (heh) as I finished today’s SFW prompt. I really want to explore Tav’s backstory (a sexual awakening at a bard’s college) but I might just convert it into an original story in its own fantasy universe, so I can actually start producing stuff that is publishable. The first drabble directly follows where the SFW prompt ends and the second one is more post-Netherbrain as Tav and Astarion fuck and suck their way up the Sword Coast looking for a cure for Astarion.
Content Warning: youthful sexual exploration and fantasizing, masturbation, inappropriate use of spells/magic.
Addy closed her eyes, picturing the type of person she’d like to meet, trying to ignore the longing between her thighs. She appreciated the feminine form as well as the male, so if she fell for a man, he would have to be beautiful and gentle and vice versa. She remembered the statue she’d seen during a recent museum trip, sketching with her drawing class. It was of an ancient Elven god, carved expertly into white marble. She’d lingered and done several sketches of him, blushing as she drew the naked parts of him she’d never yet experienced in person. His facial features were soft and elegant, swirling curls atop his head. His body was lithe and muscular, the perfect marriage of the feminine and masculine.
She shifted her thighs again, her wanton desires tingling inside her. She was too shy to talk to anyone at her school and her parents didn’t allow her extra-curricular time. She sought solace from her unfulfilled desires, stealing erotic books from the library. They’d helped her escape her sheltered life and had made her desires bloom even more. She rolled onto her side, letting out a long sigh, and allowed her hand to drift under her pants. She pictured the statue coming alive and touching her, exactly how she touched herself. He would understand her body so intricately, bringing her to ecstasy in moments.
She moaned quietly into the floor, letting her hand explore herself. She wondered how much better someone else’s hand would feel. She stopped her probing for a moment, her mind suddenly focusing on an idea. That idiot Jorgan had been good for something other than a terrible meal today. If her parents wanted her to practice magic all night, she would, though in an entirely different way. She got up, locking her door and pulling off all her clothes. She brushed her fingers against her womanly body, curves finally forming on her a few years ago. She climbed into bed, pulling the covers completely over her.
She focused on her conjuration, smiling when the faintest of glows penetrated the darkness of her covers. She flexed the mage hand’s fingers with a thought, moving them closer to her body so she could trace down her curves again. “Oh…” she gasped, as the fingers brushed against her clit. Something about the arcane energy of the hand felt so much different than her own. She teased the fingers around her, her muscles flexing with pleasure, letting out a soft whimper as her concentration lapsed or the spell duration had ended.
She quickly conjured it again, focusing her attentions more urgently. She writhed against the hand, rolling on her side again so she could quiet her moans in her pillow. She felt an ecstatic climax, her entire body trembling with pleasure. She caught her breath, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as her orgasm ebbed. Someone knocked loudly on her door, trying the handle. “I hope you are working on your spells in there!” Her mother called from the other side of the door.
“I am,” Addy yelled back with a smile.
She spent the rest of the evening doing her own type of magical experimentation, combining Grease and Enlarge spells, Haste and Silence, and her favorite and final of the night, a Mage Hand with the lightest of Thunderwaves. The vibrations left her breathless and screaming into her pillow. She lay panting under the covers, deciding to stop by the bard’s college after classes tomorrow to see about their application and scholarship requirements. If she was going to make use of her magical abilities, she wanted to do it on her own terms.
During Tav and Astarion’s post Netherbrain adventures to Luskan, they spend some time at a museum in Neverwinter.
Content and Warnings: Sensual touching, PIV sex, oral sex.
“Does my hair look anything like that?” Astarion brushed his fingers through his curls, looking at the statue of the ancient Elven god. This particular wing of the Museum of Neverwinter was filled with ancient statuary. Tav blushed a little, well acquainted with the statue. There was the slightest resemblance between the two of them, aside from the curls carved so expertly atop their heads. They both had the same strong, but beautiful facial features and lithe frames. Perhaps she saw all her old fantasies manifested in her future husband, the first time they’d met on the beach. She was as utterly besotted with him now as she had been then.
“A little,” she smiled, nudging closer to him. “Yours are much softer and not just because they aren’t made of stone.”
They usually walked everywhere arm in arm, but with all the fragility of the artifacts in the museum, they were forced to navigate through the exhibits slightly apart. She heard the elderly docent behind them tut quietly as Tav leaned in to kiss him. “Actually, I used to fantasize about this statue when I was younger,” she gave his ass a playful squeeze, the docent tutting louder.
“Really?” He grinned widely, bending forward slightly to read the plaque. “H’saar, one of the earliest iterations of the Elven fertility god. Doesn’t look very fertile to me,” he eyed the statue’s subdued member.
“They don’t ever sculpt huge cocks on them,” Tav giggled, pulling Astarion away before the docent sounded any more complaints of their behavior in her throat.
“I suppose you are right,” he mused as they moved on to the next display, another nude figure with a subdued penis. “Probably to keep little minxes Iike you from fondling the statues,” he teased.
“Oh, we still would,” she teased back, sticking her tongue out at him. “Why do you think they put them behind a rope?”
He glanced back at the Elven god for a moment, then pulled her into a small alcove. “So what did you think about…with the statue?” He purred, pressing her up the against the wall. He kissed her, nipping her tongue gently.
“You’re going to get us kicked out,” she blushed. She walked them back out of the alcove, whispering in his ear. “I thought about him coming to life…and fingering me, just like you do…”
“Mmmm,” he grinned devilishly, his eyes already looking for the exit. “Go on.”
“I’d be sketching here alone, at night. They let us come here quite often and after hours to practice our figure drawing if we were short on models. Sometimes I’d start touching myself and he’d come to life before my eyes. Or I’d be so engrossed in my sketching and would suddenly feel his hands on me. They were just the silly fantasies of someone who had never had sex before.”
“I don’t think it’s silly,” he blushed. “I actually kind of like it. Being so horny you bring a statue to life.”
“You are my statue brought to life,” she pulled him close again. “You are perfect. You are everything I ever dreamed of.”
“Would you let me be your god tonight?” He kissed her again, stopping them in the middle of the floor.
“We are closing in ten minutes,” the docent loudly cleared her throat.
“I can hold very still,” he whispered and gave the woman a dirty look, pulling Tav along with him.
“More role playing?” Tav grinned widely.
“And more sketches of myself to look at,” he added.
“I didn’t bring any of my supplies though.”
“I bet they having something in the gift shoppe,” he motioned with his head as they neared the exit.
They could barely take their hands and eyes off one another as they browsed the small shop full of tchotchkes, replicas, and faux relics. They grabbed a large sheet of vellum and a charcoal set, in addition to a faux gold crown that would make a perfect substitute for the statue’s. They hurried back to the inn, Tav grabbing a quick bite to eat as they walked. They began quickly getting undressed, Astarion completely and Tav remaining in her dress. She tore the vellum into smaller sheets as Astarion perfected his godly pose, the faux crown perched perfectly atop his curls.
She sat cross-legged on the bed, as she did when she usually sketched, taking some deep breaths to steady her excited hands. He struck his pose, mimicking the statue, still able to see her in his periphery. “Try not to get too distracted by my larger cock,” he joked as she set her charcoal to the paper with a soft scratch.
“Statues aren’t supposed to talk,” she teased back.
Her eyes tracked over his perfect form as her hand flowed across the page, almost able to sketch him from memory. She smudged the charcoal with her finger to create a dark background, transferring it to her skin as she stroked herself idly. He stood as still as possible, the soft scratching of the charcoal and her quiet breaths quite soothing. A buzzing fly soon invaded their fantasy, Astarion trying to shoo it away with only his weak breath. “There’s a fly,” he finally swatted at it with his hand. She chuckled slightly, climbing out of bed as the fly continued to buzz around him, landing on his hair.
“I think it’s attracted to your pomade,” she blew gently into his ear, making the fly leave and causing his skin to prickle.
She walked around him several times as he continued to stand completely still, looking for a good angle for her next sketch. She settled onto the desk across from the bed, sitting atop it and letting her feet rest on the chair. She’d hiked her dress up to her thighs and sat with them spread slightly, her finger teasing along them as she began a new sketch. Eventually her sketching slowed, her fingers finding their way across her body as she saw the pink blush of his cock getting darker, knowing he would soon be fully aroused.
She let the sketch slip from her hands, floating down towards his feet as she took both her hands to herself. One reached up her skirt, probing inside her underpants to reach her slick warmth, the other unfastening the neck of her dress, pulling it down to her waist so she could fondle her breasts. He kept his eyes forward, still only able to see her subtle movements in his periphery. He already knew where her hands were going, her quiet moans and sighs making his cock drip pre-cum. When it began to wobble desperately for her touch, he finally broke his pose, slowly approaching her as she pleasured herself with her eyes closed.
He opened them with a kiss, uttering not a word, statues couldn’t talk after all. He parted her lips with his thumb, her eyes looking at him like she really hadn’t been touched before. He didn’t have a statue to lust after, but she was everything he’d ever dreamed of too. The Gods finally answered his prayers by sending him his own Goddess. He slipped her dress over her head and took the faux crown off his, placing it atop hers. He smoothed her hair slightly and kissed her again. He pulled at her underpants, sliding them down and letting his hand slid along her slit, exactly as she liked it. She moaned a little louder, lifting her knee onto the desk so he could reach her g-spot. He played with her until she was on the edge, nuzzling his nose against hers when she whimpered.
He slowly eased his cock inside her, her knee trembling as he did. She grasped the back of his neck gently, leaning back a little so he could penetrate her even deeper. The desk wobbled slightly as he fucked her, one of the legs a little uneven. She eventually wrapped her legs around him, balancing on one arm as he pulled away from the desk slightly. They’d already paid for two broken beds this trip, they didn’t need to add a desk to their tab. She reached her other arm around the back of his neck, letting him carry her and have complete control of her cunt.
He fucked her harder, bouncing her along his cock, ready to make her scream to the Gods for him, which she soon obligated, calling his named loud enough to reach Elysium. He erupted inside her, his divine seed filling her womb as she quivered around him. He managed to carry her to the bed before collapsing on top of her. “My Gods…” she sighed happily, returning his crown to him and grabbing his curls.
He sat up with a grin, his cock still buried inside her, and circled his palm around her clit. “Astarion,” she protested, but slowly began to move her hips with him.
“The God of Fertility always makes you come twice,” he purred, watching her body undulating as he brought her to orgasm again.
He finally released her hips, kissing up her stomach, and nestling beside her as she slowed her breath. “I love you, my Goddess,” he nuzzled her ear, gently blowing in it as she had done, watching her skin prickle.
“What would my domain be, my love?” She asked, tracing her fingers up his back, sliding them along the scars she knew so well.
“Hmmm,” he mused, nibbling on her ear. “Blowjobs?”
“Blowjobs!?” She cried, playfully pushing him back onto the mattress and climbing on top of him.
“Yours are divine, after all,” he grinned.
“Well…” she eyed him, resting her chin on her arms, laid across his shoulders. “Maybe my mouth will accept an offering once you can get hard again.”
They chatted for a bit, their bodies still pressed against one another. They planned the final leg of their journey to Luskan, where they would be meeting with the arcanist who possibly had a cure for vampirism. They made out until her mouth eventually wandered down him again, the excited blush to his cock returning. “Here, you need this,” he put the crown back on her head as her tongue teased him hard again. He held it in place, along with her hair, as she sucked him to the Heavens and back, milking every last drop of cum from his balls. “Quite the offering,” she swallowed the last mouthful of him with a radiant smile. “Perhaps being the Goddess of Blowjobs isn’t all bad.”
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On taking breaks and moving on
An online friend of mine from a community I used to frequent several years ago just published his first chapbook of poetry, and his announcement reminded me of how many years it’s been since I’ve been active in that community.
In fact, it’s been pretty common in my life (online, at least) to move on from communities over time. In “past lives,” I’ve been a notable contributor to a handful of open-source software projects, an active member on a variety of discussion fora, a frequent commenter on a handful of old-school blogs, a part of the aforementioned community in question, and, of course, our beloved Hosie fandom (far more active on AO3 than on here, for sure). I think the longest I’ve been an active part of something has been 7 years, and in most of the longer-timeframe instances, I’ve also taken breaks and later returned.
Legacies debuted in 2018, and I’ve been a Hosie since nearly the beginning (the poking in the park)—but still before I knew it was a ship!—and reading fanfic on AO3 since at least late 2019 (though I didn’t start writing my first Hosie fic until late February of 2020). So we’re stumbling towards middle age, I suppose. And a series that produced only 68 episodes and, in this new visual entertainment media reality, will be locked away in a corporate vault, never to be seen again (more on that some other time), well, the reality is, the fanbase has already peaked.
The worst, of course, of my online community experiences are the cases where it felt like I was the only one left putting in the effort to hold up the project or community, and not wanting to quit because I know it will be the end if I do—the wall will come tumbling down—but also not wanting—or being able—to keep at it alone.
Already I feel like we’re approaching that point in the Hosie fandom on AO3. It used to be that it didn’t matter who you were, your fic would garner a handful of comments; you didn’t have to be one of those “top tier” authors whose chapters drew dozens of comments. Today, though, those same “top tier” writers and their successors are lucky to get a handful of comments on their chapters, and I often find myself the only reader commenting on new chapters from many existing authors as well as new work from new authors—yes, amazingly, there are still some! (There are others who are pretty active in the comments, particularly Shadowmama55, who wrote their first fic this year—you should go read it if you haven’t, and leave comments as you do—a cracking debut fic!)
All of which is a longwinded way of saying that I hope this writing slump of the past 9 months or so is just me taking a break. I know from experience my active time remaining is limited, but I don’t plan on walking away yet—at least not before TheDarkestHour13 finishes Such is Our Fate (and I think the projected chapter count is 200-something, so that’s another couple years yet if the current chapter/week pace persists, so rejoice in its slow burn) 😏
See you around, everyone 👍
December 4, 2023
#status#musings#fandom#online communities#fanfic comments#hosie#writing struggles#hosie fics#fic recommendation
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even if i’m far away i hold you in my heart
A week after they were married, Coco showed Julio her most prized possession: the small wooden box where she kept the letters from her father.
She hadn't told him what she was going to show him at first, though. She told him that she wanted to show him something secret, something private, and asked him to promise that he would never tell anyone, not even his sister or her mother. He had agreed immediately without even asking what it was that warranted such a promise; he would have given his wife the world if she asked and he were able.
Coco locked the door to their room after they entered it and then put her ear to the door, listening for any noise, even though her mother and uncles had gone to bed an hour ago. Then she knelt by the bureau, opened the bottommost drawer, and took out all the old clothes she stored in there, dropping them carelessly on the floor beside her; a child's faded yellow dress, a long black ruffled skirt that would have been too small for her for a decade, even several outgrown pairs of shoes, for no Rivera would ever throw away a pair of shoes.
Finally, from the very back corner where she had hidden it, Coco withdrew the small wooden box and turned to Julio, looking nervous. He sat down on the floor next to her and whispered, "What is it, mi amor?"
With trembling fingers Coco unlatched the box and opened it to reveal it nearly stuffed to the brim with folded papers, covered on both sides with careful, cheerful handwriting. Atop the papers lay a small, folded scrap, which Coco picked up and unfolded with the most delicate of care and gently placed it into Julio's hand.
It was a photograph, or part of one. It had been ripped off from the larger picture, leaving only the head, neck, and shoulder of the subject behind.
It was of a dark-haired young man, with Coco's eyes and a wide, exuberant smile, despite the length of time it took photographs to settle on the film two decades ago.
The resemblance was unmistakable, but Coco said anyway: "This is my papá."
The man in the picture certainly didn't look like the kind of man who would run away to chase fame and fortune, leaving his young wife and daughter to fend for themselves. Then again, Julio wasn't sure what that kind of man would look like. It wasn't like he personally knew any other family-abandoners.
"I tore him off the picture," Coco continued. "It's the only picture we had of all three of us, and I was afraid Mamá would throw it out because he was in it, like she did to all his things, so I tore off his face and saved it." She took the photograph scrap back from Julio and gently brushed it with a finger.
"And these are the letters he wrote me," she continued after a moment. "To me and Mamá, when he was traveling. At first, I mean. Before he stopped writing."
There were a lot of letters. Julio uncertainly reached for the box; Coco drew one out, gently unfolded it, and let him hold it.
It didn't seem like it was written by a man who was soon to abandon his family, either. The letter contained stories of adventures in a faraway town; being chased by a dog, which Coco's father managed to make sound funny on paper for his four-year-old daughter but must have been terrifying at the time; a description of a silly dance he and a "Tío Nesto" had done during one of their performances; a description of a breathtakingly beautiful sunset he had seen that had made him feel homesick, and what appeared to be a half-finished poem for Imelda.
"He loved me," Coco said firmly. "I know he did."
"Coco..." Julio didn't know what to say. His wife had shared something precious and private with him; her most prized possession. The letters sounded like they were written by a man who loved his wife and daughter above all.
But clearly, at some point, he had gotten over his homesickness and decided he liked performing better than his family, because he had cut off all contact with them and never returned.
"He used to play music for me," Coco told him quietly. "When I was little. He would teach me the words to all his songs and we would sing them together. He had a special song just for me that we would sing each night. I still remember it." She hummed distantly, lost in her memories. "He would play his guitar and sing for Mamá too. They would dance in the kitchen."
Correctly interpreting Julio's expression, she almost laughed. "Mamá didn't always hate music. She used to like it. She only hates it now because it reminds her of him."
Everyone knew that Imelda Rivera hated music, that neither she nor her brothers nor her daughter ever listened to any, nor took part in any music-related activity like singing or dancing. When Julio had announced his wish to marry Coco, his mother-in-law had told him that a condition of doing so would be to give up music, and anything involved in it, forever.
Julio had agreed instantly. It saddened him that his and Coco's days of dancing in the plaza were over, and he enjoyed listening to music as much as anyone else, but it wasn't like he was a mariachi or anything. He could live without music. And for Coco, anything was worth it.
"I know he loved me," Coco said again. "He would tell me stories and listen to whatever I had to say like it was the most interesting thing in the world and play my silly games with me like they mattered more to him than anything, even though I was only a little girl then..." Her breath hitched, and she drew a hand across her eyes.
"But if he really loved me," she continued, a paradox that had tormented her for most of her life, "then why....why didn't he ever...come b-back..."
Her voice broke on a sob. Julio reached for his wife and held her as she wept.
#coco#pixar coco#coco pixar#coco rivera#mama coco#julio rivera#papa julio#hector rivera#rivera family
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