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#i don't like asking this but PLEASE REBLOG THIS.
vorchagirl · 2 days
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I saw a comment by someone on reddit who said they no longer comment on any fanfiction because of the risk of it being AI and ... that just seems like such a cop out to me, not to mention incredibly cruel to authors.
Please please please do not stop commenting on all fics or interacting with authors because you are worried about things being AI. The risk is slim, and the damage you do to authors by doing this is awful.
Writers put so much effort into their fics. For people to openly admit they still read and consume these fics, but choose not to comment on anything because of the possibility of someone using AI for their writing is incredibly selfish. You're punishing authors by doing this. You're not being moral or helpful or crusading for any useful cause - you're just hurting authors.
Ironically, by doing this, you're actually more likely to cause authors to stop writing (silence does this), and people who can't write will fill the gaps left by creating AI writing - so you're making the problem worse, not helping anyone.
If you want to support authors and writers, then SUPPORT them! Reblog work and send authors asks, leave comments and kudos, and above all don't punish people with silence.
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moon7jay · 3 days
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ㄴ CHERRY🍒 ㄱ : Lee Heeseung
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pairing : pervert!heeseung x virgin!reader
cheeries to pop this semester : Y/N (Heeseung's pick)
Warnings : toxic heeseung, manipulation, coercion, morally gray characters, dub con, infidelity, angst, filthy smut, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, body image issues, body shaming, family issues (it gets heavy), unprotected sex, cum eating, violence, dacryphilia.
Wc : 23k+
a/n : IT'S FINALLY HERE OMG, this is my first full length fic on here and I really put my all into it, please reblog and leave feedbacks, it's really really important for me, I cherish all of your words so much<3
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!!!!!!! READ PREVIEW FIRST !!!!!!!!
You're quite literally the most stuck up thing Heeseung has ever laid his eyes on. It’s the way you stick out like a sore thumb; Your ponytail is meticulously braided, the grandma skirt that you chose to wear cascades down, stopping just beneath your knees in a habitual fashion and your pressed pink silk blouse is impeccably buttoned up to the collar, not one inch of extra skin in sight.
The book clutched tightly against your chest ties your entire look of “austere sophistication” together.
"Microprocessors", the title reads. Pfft. Typical of you. Only you can clutch onto such a demonic book like it is some quality literature. Heeseung nearly fights the urge to scoff.
You're peak virgin demonstration if Heeseung’s ever seen one. Your embodiment of purity is unparalleled, and it feels like a personal attack on his masculinity that he hasn't been able to get you under him yet. Keyword : yet. 
As he backs you up against the wall, your eyes downcast and your free hand nervously fiddling with the button of your blouse, he thinks you look pathetic. You exude an air of pitiful vulnerability, and it ignites a primal desire within him to consume you entirely.
You're nervous and it’s palpable. He can see it in the way you don't even meet his eyes, refusing to face him at all. The blush adorning the apple of your cheeks is adorable; fuck, you're cute. And Heeseung doesn't like cute things. But something about you makes you the exception to his usual preferences. Your innocence only provokes him more, acting as a catalyst, intensifying his desire to unleash all his darkest fantasies on your inexperienced body. He wants to explore you, peel off your layers and dive in deep like no one has ever done before. This need, this innate urge to taint you; it drives him absolutely feral.
"Did you watch the video I sent you last night?" he asks, unable to stop himself from leaning into your space, taking a deep whiff of your vanilla perfume. You even smell like a virgin. Fresh and untainted.  And, oh so tempting. 
Your head shakes meekly, but the discreet way you bite your lower lip tells him that you did watch it. Fuck yeah. He was high and horny when he recorded that nut video. Pressing send wasn’t on his agenda but his head was filled with the sinful thoughts of you and your pretty pink lips, and what better way to testify his desire to you than making you see how he looks in throes of pleasure, chanting your name like a literal dog in heat.
You yelp when his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer to himself. God, you feel good against him.
He nuzzles his nose into your warm cheek while your tiny fist makes contact with his chest "let-let go" you squeak out and it only makes him chuckle in amusement. You're so fucking cute. 
"you liked it baby? Bet you liked how I stroked my dick nice and slow, just for you" He watches in glee as the red in your cheeks spreads all the way down to your neck. He loves how responsive you are, loves how even the littlest of words make you falter in front of him, like a frail flower caught in a sudden gust of wind. Then you look up, and Heeseung feels his breath leaving his chest, as if the air has been vacuumed from his lungs .Your big, captivating eyes meet his dark ones and he can't help but let his perverse curiosity take over his sick mind. He wonders how your pretty orbs look when you cry. 
Scratch that. He wants to see you cry. 
What makes this thought more unsettling is that fact that Heeseung isn't apposed to seeing you cry in pain. As long he gets to see your eyes brimming with tears , he cannot give less of a fuck about their source. He'll fuck you missionary, Heeseung decides, staring deep into your eyes while he slides deep inside your tight little pussy. His cock chubs up at the thought alone. 
"you c-can''t send me stuff like that, it's inappropriate" you mumble shyly. He snickers and squeezes the fat of your waist, making another pathetic squeak to leave your mouth. 
"What can I do darling, there's not one appropriate thought in my head when it comes to you. wanna do so many inappropriate things to you, you’ll let me won’t you?" He whisper asks, and watches how your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact before you succumb to your shyness, choosing to look down instead.
 
"Heeseung, man, it’s time to go " Jake's panicked voice interrupts the filthy words he was about to mutter in your ears again. He turns his head slightly towards the entrance of the hall and sees Jake's brown mop of hair, rustling right outside. Heeseung sighs and turns back to face you. 
"Looks like we'll have to cut our fun short, you'll wait for my call tonight won't you baby? wanna hear your voice when I cum" He tells you, reveling in the way you only curl into yourself at his words, chewing your bottom lip raw. Fuck he wants to kiss the fuck out of you. But he can't. Not yet. Heeseung is aware of the boundaries he’s been crossing by touching you and sending you intimate stuff without your consent, and he doesn't want to push it, not so fast.He lets go of your body reluctantly and winks at you before making his way out of the hall. Jake's frantic eyes meet his once he's outside, and he rolls his eyes, already sensing an incoming lecture about morals and respect. 
"I'm never gonna be your guard dog again, it's risky fucking business" Jake spits,brows furrowed in distress. Heeseung merely shakes his head at him "you won't get it" he mumbles as he walks ahead, leaving Jake to run to catch up to him
"Yeah, I don't see the fun in being suspended, but hey, maybe that's just me" Jake replies sarcastically ,making Heeseung give him “the” look. "Dramatic much?" He asks, rounding the corner to the cafeteria and making his way inside. 
"I'm being dramatic? You're the one risking your reputation for some pussy, we can both be in jail for sexual harassment". Heeseung tunes out his friend's baseless rant and plops onto his designated seat. Jake slumps down right next to him. 
"Man I'm just saying, that if she ever decides to go to the dean about this, your messages will be proof enough to land you in big trouble" Jake explains. “and me too because you drag me into every unethical thing like the good friend that you are” he adds, sarcasm dripping from his tone, and Heeseung wonders when Jake fell victim to the sassy men apocalypse. 
But you won't, you love the chase as much as he does, he can see it in your eyes, Heeseung wants to say, but he doesn’t, choosing to stare at you instead. His eyes trace the movement of your figure when you enter the cafeteria sometime later. You're still hugging the book to your chest, making your way to the seat that's the farthest away from everyone else, as always. Your skirt makes his hands itch, he wants to know what lies underneath so fucking badly. He wonders if you know the effect that your modesty has on him, wonders if you know that your body being covered from head to toe gives more space for fantasy and yearning than any naked girl ever could.
"Stare any longer and your eyeballs might fall out of their sockets" Sunghoon’s berating voice brings his attention back to the table. He was so lost in you that he didn't notice sunghoon flopping down in the seat right across from him, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it unceremoniously on the table. 
"She's gonna be the death of me" Heeseung bemoans, running an exasperated hand over his face. Sunghoon laughs and kicks his leg under the table. 
"She already saw her name in that list that day, she knows what you want, and I don't think she'll let you anywhere near her anytime soon". Jake snorts, masking it with a cough when Heeseung shoots a glare in his direction.
He looks over at you again, finding the way you fiddle with your pen oddly erotic. He thinks he might be losing his goddamn mind, because the way he jerked off right after you angrily threw the “cherries to pop this semester” list on his face and stormed off , was shameful to say the least. That was the first time he had seen pure heat and raw emotion in your eyes, and damn you looked sexy as hell when you were angry. 
"She won't be a virgin by the end of this semester, write it down" Heeseung challenges, meeting Sunghoon's eyes. His friend only shrugs in response and turns around to look at you over his shoulder. 
"Sure, but by the looks of it, you won't be the one doing the honors" Jake snorts again , but Heeseung doesn't spare him a glance this time, his entire attention pivoted to the raven haired boy making his way over to your table. Heeseung doesn't like the way your eyes light up and you instantly sit up straighter in your seat, fixing your hair as if looking to impress. He scoffs. Loudly. Fucking park jongseong. 
"Does she really find that dweeb attractive?" He can't help but ask, jaw clenching when he sees you blushing, genuinely blushing and smiling at someone who's not him. 
"I dunno man, girls love that whole nerdy gentleman thing jay's got going on, some bullshit about being a green flag and all" Sunghoon supplies.
"They're friends too, lover boy's got game" Jake adds, smiling cheekily when Heeseung shoots him a dark look, yet again. 
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You're in a trance like state when you walk back home. With the whole hall incident with Heeseung, and jay approaching you at lunch, today doesn’t seem real, as if belonging to a different reality altogether.
What you feel for Heeseung isn't something that you can describe in words. He.. He harasses you. He touches you and grabs you and gropes you, but within limits. His actions lie in a murky territory, perplexing the norms of acceptability, and yet, you only yearn more. does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't to normal people, but in your touch starved brain, it perfectly makes sense. Some days you hate him and some days you crave him, always oscillating between the extremes of loathing and longing. You suppose that's because he's been the only source of thrill amidst the barren landscape of your existence for a very long time. He excites you, he flusters you, but ignites flames beneath your breastbone with mere words. His gaze unnerves you and yet, you can't bring yourself to push him away. Some would call you crazy, and you won't have any convincing arguments to defend yourself.
You have been a little desperate all your life, desperate for someone to want you, desperate for someone to see you, a ceaseless yearning for recognition, for acknowledgement of your existence and you're not ashamed to admit it. After all, how far can you lie about the very thing etched into your bones and skin? And to what end?
More, more, more, the intense craving, an insatiable hunger for it defined your very being. You were an unattractive child and grew up into an even more unappealing adult , at least that's what your mother used to tell you before she eventually passed away. Her echoes of criticism resonated through your subconscious, shaping you as a mirror of her own insecurities.
That would explain why you can't meet your own eyes in the mirror, and crave attention like a drug, seeking solace in the fleeting attention Heeseung bestows upon you. He's akin to a drug that leaves you high and delusional for a while, intoxicating you with fleeting moments of desirability.
You aren't stupid though, you harbor no illusions regarding his intentions . You know what he wants from you, you are aware that you as a person don't mean a thing to him, he just wants to take your virginity and flaunt it around like a badge of peak male prowess or something, you're just another challenge to him, reduced to a mere conquest for his vanity. But you haven't felt like a person in so long, you don't think you are in any position to make demands.
When you've been parched long enough, when the thirst reaches fever pitch, threatening to push you over the verge of insanity; the yearning for satisfaction eclipses the rationality of self preservation. The moment of brief satiation held such a twisted appeal, that you were willing to embrace pain and self destruction if it came along with a fleeting sense of fulfillment. The need for validation clouds your judgement, and you become nothing but a mindless puppet of your desires.
That might also explain why your crush on park jongseong is still alive after being brutally rejected in the first semester. Jay and you had developed a friendship really quickly at the very beginning of college, but both of you had never really talked outside of the university hackathons and coding competitions. His knowledge was what drew you to him, and the way he was able to come up with solutions to the most complex problems while you were fighting for your life, it just left you with no choice but to watch him with heart eyes. He was always polite to you too, and what were you if not a sucker for gentle and soft spoken men. 
He stopped talking to you after you confessed though, not completely because you still had to work on projects together, but conversations became more one sided and short, and so eventually, you just grew apart.
But ever since you got grouped together for the Cp techathon, he has started acting different; there’s so many lingering touches and subtle flirty glances that sometimes you’re sure you’re imagining everything in your head. Maybe you should get checked out for maladaptive daydreaming. Just a suggestion.
You're pulled out of your thoughts when you reach the curb of your house and don't see your dad's car parked inside. You breathe out a sigh of relief at the sight and proceed to make your way to your neighbor’s house. Suzy, your 60 year old neighbor, might be the only good thing going on for you. As you ring her door bell, you can't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing your brother after an entirety of 2 whole weeks. Pitter patter of slippers approaches the door , and Suzy's wrinkled face greets you with a warm smile, as if she was already expecting you. 
"Hi" you smile, and she motions behind her, at the loud chatter of your brother. 
"Jihoon has not stopped asking for you for a second" She says , and you can't help but laugh as you make your way inside. 
The four year old stops talking to his toys as soon as he sees you, his blue orbs staring at you for a whole minute in amazement, and then , as if snapping out of a trance, he sprints towards you at the speed of lightening. "Y/n! " he squeals.
You giggle when he tackles you with a hug, sighing in contentment at finally feeling him so close. You're hit with a sudden urge to cry, feeling his tiny arms wrap around your neck, being away from him never gets easy no matter how many times you have done it. You coo as he tells you how much he missed you, burying his tiny frame further into your chest. You press several kisses to his face and tell him you missed him just as much. 
"Will you be taking him home today?" Suzy asks, coming over to sit down on the couch in front of you. You caress the back of jihoon's head, rocking him back and forth in your embrace, and meet her eyes, nodding a little. "Dad won't be home for a few weeks, hopefully, his car isn't there" you tell her. She nods in understanding and pats your arm, letting you know with her eyes, that she'll be here if you need her. 
You're grateful for her, she's the only person you can entrust your little brother with when things start to get bad at home. On the days your dad decides to get shit faced and break everything in the house, succumbing to bouts of inebriation, you're grateful that you can keep jihoon away from the violence. You honestly don't know what you would do without Suzy, the only steadfast refuge from the chaos that is your life. In some way, you are aware that having jihoon over alleviates her loneliness too, fulfilling her own needs of companionship that she deeply craves in her old age.
 
Occasionally, you're hit with a wave of inevitable jealousy at jihoon’s sheltered innocence, wishing that someone had kept you away too; from the violence and the pain. But you guess you were meant to be the protector instead of the protected, healing your inner child every time you see jihoon smiling brighter than the sun. If you had to live through all the suffering again , just to preserve and shelter his infectious smile, you would do it in a heartbeat. 
Suzy hands you a box of home made food when you make your way outside. "I promise to be back for you in a few hours sweetie, you will behave right?" you coo at jihoon's snotty, red nose as he clings onto your leg, begging you to take him with you. You sigh and watch in helplessness as Suzy picks him up in her arms, shushing him down so you can leave. It never gets easier.
Returning home, you dodge the broken pieces of glass and frames, quickly get out of your college attire, throwing on a pair of worn out jeans and a discolored top. There's still an hour for you to be at your part time job , and so you start cleaning the house instead. You don't know why you bother, to be honest, but there's an innate need that craves normalcy. When the house is clean, that means everything is going to be okay. Cleaning serves as a ritual of order amidst chaos, offering a sense of control amidst uncertainty.
Your shift at the cafe ends in a daze, countless customers come in and go out, some rude, some decent but you have learnt to take everything in a stride now. First month you had started working this job, you were a crying mess after the end of almost every shift, your sensitive little heart unable to comprehend why people were so rude. However, just like everything else in your life, you adapted to the demands of the job pretty quickly. As you stare at the now almost deserted cafe, save for a handful of students engrossed in their laptops, you pray that no one else comes in. Fatigue weighs heavily upon you, you’re exhausted out of your mind and just want to get out of here as soon as you can. Yet, as the familiar chime of the entrance bell resounds, signaling the arrival of yet another customer, you resign yourself to another interaction.
Your head snaps towards the door and your jaw quite literally falls to the floor. For as long as you have worked here, you've never run into any of your classmates. However, today out of all days, when you look like the wall mart version of the walking dead, park fucking jongseong is here. Because of course he is, your life has to be a social experiment. 
You pull yourself together when you realize that he's smiling at you, and you aren't smiling back. "Hi" you squeak out, fairly sure that you sounded pathetic. He grins at your flustered state, and leans closer to you on the counter. 
"Hi" He whispers back, your heart beating faster at the look he's giving you. You stare at his perfectly parted raven hairs and mentally pass out when he fiddles with his lip ring. 
"Um-so- what can i get you?" You stutter out, finally coming to your senses and realizing that you have a job. His eyes travel down to your chest , and he leans further into your personal space, his expensive cologne filling up your senses. 
"I'll take you" He replies smoothly.
"I-, what-you huh" you splutter, not quite trusting your own ears. There's no way Jay is flirting with you right now. The crush that you've harbored for the boy blooms in full glory as he continues to smile at you, a suggestive glint in his eyes. His smile is so damn pretty.
 
"I'm kidding pretty girl, I just saw you from across the street and thought I'd say hi, and ask if you need a ride back home" He explains. Your lips tug into a shy smile at the nickname, and you peek outside to see his gray Volkswagen parked across the street. Oh wow, Jay thinks you're pretty AND he wants to give you a ride back home. Why does that sound so familiar? You’re pretty sure you saw this same scenario playing out in one of your lovesick dreams last week.
"Oh-um- i don't wanna cause you any trouble" you mumble , hoping that he doesn't see the way your back is ramrod straight all of a sudden. You never really prepared yourself for the possibility of him , or anyone for that matter, wanting to drop you at your house. You're not ashamed of your neighborhood or the life that you live, but you despise the looks of judgement and pity more. You have managed to maintain this facade of a properly put together person for so long in college, and it has saved you so much mental torture that you know would ensue once everyone gets to know about your humble abode, and how your scholarship is the only reason you’re able to afford your college. 
"come on sweetheart, would I really walk all the way across the street if I really didn't wanna see you?" He asks, fiddling with his lip ring again. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looks sort of nervous. But why would anyone be nervous of you. Of all people. 
You nod meekly and mumble a quick "my shift gets over in 5 minutes", trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jay wanted to see you. HE wanted to see YOU. Jay winks at you and makes his way outside. You follow him with your eyes as he crosses the street and goes back inside his car, waiting for you. 
HE'S WAITING FOR YOU. What on god’s green earth. 
Seeing that there's only one customer left, you hurriedly make your way to the ladies toilet and wash your face, trying to get rid of the tiredness and grime off of it. What if he kisses you? Your own delusion makes you laugh. You do have some nerve at coming up with such insane scenarios in your head. He's just being nice, and here you are, hearing wedding bells. 
You reapply your lip balm and take off the apron you were adorning over your tee. You look okay. Well. There's not much you can do in the current situation anyway. You do hope that he overlooks how unkempt you look compared to your college appearance. Should you untie your hairs? But, wouldn't that be too much? He just saw you with a ponytail... fuck it, it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway. You untie your hairs and let them fall in cascades over your shoulders. This is better.
 
You clean up behind you and inform the remaining customer that it's closing time. Handing the keys to Ralph, the security guard, you quickly run across the street, not wanting to make him wait any longer. Jay opens the car door for you from the inside even before you can reach it.
 
"Hop in" He says, a grin in his voice and he doesn't have to ask you twice.
 
This might be the most expensive car you've ever had the opportunity to sit in. The leather is soft against your skin, and it smells of fresh citrus. Even his car smells good. 
"So, Where to darling?" He asks, running his eyes all over you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze but manage to utter your address nonetheless.
The entire ride is mostly silent with little conversation that he makes, asking you for directions. It isn't awkward, and you're so grateful for that. 
"Is this it?" He asks, stopping his car in front of the building whose name you blurted instead of your real address. 
You nod and thank him, ready to get out of the car when he grabs your wrist, pulling you into him. The middle console digs into your stomach but you honestly couldn't care less with the way his hot breath falls on your face. 
Your cheeks are warm and you are sure that you represent a tomato with the way the heat only increases when he tucks your hairs behind your ear with his other hand. 
And oh god, he's leaning in, his eyes fixed onto your lips as he inches closer and closer and- 
As if on autopilot, You push him away. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment at how taken aback he looks by your sudden reaction. 
"I-im sorry i- i don't-
"I thought you liked me" He says in a hostile tone, and you can hear the annoyance in his voice, can see the indignation in his eyes. 
You can't believe you just pissed off your longtime crush because of your inability to be normal. How could you have fucked up so badly? 
"I-i do, I do like you" You mumble quickly, trying to hold your tears at bay when he scoffs at your words. The shame weighs heavy on your chest as he stares at you a bit longer before looking forward towards the road. 
"Goodnight y/n" He replies sharply, in the most coldest voice you have ever seen him use towards you. 
Your lips quiver as you wrack your brain for something to say but you don't think you can say anything to fix this now. You've made a fool of yourself and embarrassed Jay all because you can't be fucking normal about anything. 
He presses the horn aggressively, and you jump, mumbling apologies and scurrying out of his car hurriedly. Your ears burn in humiliation when he drives off without sparing a single glance towards you. 
Well done y/n. Your habit of being self sabotaging never really will go away. You cry all the way back to your house, not understanding the abrupt downturn of promising events. It was going so well. He was going to kiss you. You were so close to having your first kiss. 
You wipe your tears dry when you get close to your house. Jihoon is fast asleep in Suzy's arms when she hands him over to you. You thank her for her kindness and make your way to your house, cradling jihoon's sleeping form. When he cuddles into your neck, his innocent embrace evokes a flood of pent up tears; all that you've been pushing back today, comes flooding out. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to sleep this carefree in someone's arms. If there's love meant for you,then you have never felt it once in your life, and you wonder if it's too late now.
You're crying when you tuck him tenderly into bed, crying when you leave a wet kiss on his forehead, caressing his soft cheeks. You're crying when you try to eat the food Suzy gave you in the afternoon, and you're crying when you rub off all the evidence of today from your body inside the shower. At one point, you aren’t even sure what you’re crying about.
Thankfully, when you come out of the shower, the tears have ceased. You embrace the numbness which spreads all over your body after a soul crushing sob session. It’s funny really, how quickly you seem to turn your emotions on and off like a flip switch, like they aren’t even real at all.
Once your emotions are out of the way, and jihoon is asleep, you can't help but relish in the feeling of your skin under your fingertips. You aren't particularly horny, you just want to feel better and sleep with an empty mind. Masturbation always seems to work.
 
You throw off your towel and crawl onto the bed, spreading your legs and rubbing small circles on your clit, trying to get yourself wet. You rub and rub, and whine when it starts to feel somewhat good. Still, it isn't good enough to get you soaked thoroughly, so that you can cum again and again to your heart's content.
You groan frustratedly and reach for your phone, feeling extremely ashamed when your finger hovers over heeseung's chats. Your pussy tingles in excitement when you read his lewd words, attached to the video he sent you yesterday. 
"Gonna fuck you so good if you give me a chance baby, look how hard you make this dick"
You bite your lower lip and press play, rubbing your thighs together at the wet sounds coming from the video. His dick is so thick and girthy, curving upwards in excitement. His fingers look so long wrapped around his cock, you can’t help but squeeze your thighs at the thought of feeling them inside of you.
The way he moves his palm, up and down, up and down, moaning and groaning your name in pleasure, it has you writhing in no time. You will never admit it to heeseung, but he's the only person you ever think of while touching yourself. He turns you on beyond belief. He turns you on in a way that feels wrong. Almost Taboo. 
You continue to rub your clit to the sight of him jerking off, hoping that you could see his face in the video too. You wonder what he looks like when he's feeling good. The thought alone is enough to have you dripping in no time. You throw your phone onto the bed, but before you can start fingering your leaking pussy, your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance. 
You reach beside your head to pick it up and almost drop it on your face when you see heeseung's name flashing on your screen.
Fuck. What the fuck.
When he told you in college that he was gonna call, you really didn't think he actually will. But the phone is ringing and your body lights up in excitement. Is he really going to jerk off on call? Is he really that perverse?
Curiosity gets the better of you, and you swipe right, chewing on your lower lip as you press the phone against your ear. 
"Hey baby, I didn't think you would pick up, missed me didn't ya? " His cocky voice blares through the speaker and you blush. How was he making you blush over the phone, get a fucking grip y/n.
He chuckles when you don't say anything, finding your silence cute. 
"At least say a hi for me baby, so I can know that I'm not about to jerk off for your dad" His words make you wince, why was he so vulgar? 
"Heeseung!" You whisper shout, trying to convey through your voice how scandalized you are.
 
"There she is, fuck pretty, you're gonna stay with me on call while I beat my meat for you yeah?" He grunts and you gasp, feeling violated by his language alone. 
You rub your thighs and fiddle with your pebbled nipples "c-can you not use such words? " you ask quietly, hoping that he doesn't pick up on the silent whine that leaves your mouth right after. 
You hear a little shuffling on the line and your face feels hot. So he really is getting ready to jerk off? What will he say if you tell him how wet you are for him right now?
Heeseung can't believe you haven't hung up on him yet. His dick getting harder and harder the more that he hears your cute fucking voice. 
"Nah baby, I'm a nasty motherfucker, you should know that. If you ever let me fuck your cunt, I'll show you what real nasty sex feels like" He says, groaning when he hears you whimper at his words. Fuck. Why the fuck are you so fucking cute. 
He hisses when he wraps his rough palm around his leaking prick, he hasn't even started jerking off yet and he's already leaking so much precum.
Heeseung doesn't like cute things, but fuck does he want to fuck into one, wants to pound your cute little pussy while you make those cute little sounds for him. 
His ears perk up when he hears the wet squelching sounds coming through the speaker. Fuck. Fuck are you--? 
"baby, are you touching yourself? I can hear your wet little cunt through the phone" He grunts, as if in pain.
The moan that you let out tells him all that he needs to know. And damn he's never been so fucking hard before. 
"fuck yeah baby, fuck yourself with your tiny little fingers, make yourself feel real good for me" He groans, stroking his cock at a rapid pace, unable to stop himself from going feral. This is the first time that you have given him the taste of what it really could be like if he was buried in your wet snatch. It's driving him batshit crazy. 
"H-heeseung" you mewl, making him fuck into his fist faster. God, you sound so sexy. The heat spreads all over his body, making him feel so damn good that he starts bucking up his hips into his hands. 
"Y-yeah? Feels so good yeah , baby? Fuck, I wish It was my cock buried in you right now, I would pound you all fucking night -ugh fuckk" he grunts, panting as he feels the knot in his stomach tighten. He wants to cum so bad. 
Your whines reach a fever pitch and the intensity of the wet squelch increases. God, the filthy sounds of your wetness as you play with your pussy, make his tongue loll out of his mouth. He needs to bury his face in your juices before he dies.
"g-gonna c-um im-ah" you moan, whining and panting as your orgasm gets closer.
Heeseung curses under his breath and jerks off furiously, squeezing his engorged dick head and hissing in pure pleasure. 
"Oh yeah, cum all over my fucking cock baby, make a fucking mess, I'm gonna give you my cum too" He moans, thrusting up into his fist, again and again and again, chasing his high desperately. His palm is a wet, sticky mess of precum while he strokes his shaft to your whiny voice. You make him so fucking horny, the brutal way he's fisting his dick is a testament to that. 
A loud moan on your end makes him cuss, his own eyes rolling back as he hears you cumming. So fucking cute, god you sound heavenly. His hips buck up into his fist a few more times before he's spurting thick strings of his cum all over his chest and palm. He plants his feet onto the bed, and thrusts up into his fist over and over to drain himself of all that he has to give.
Fucking hell, that was probably the best jerk off session of his life. Before he can tell you that, however, you hang up on him. 
Heeseung chuckles in exhaustion and doesn't even bother cleaning his body, laying on the bed in pure sexual satiation. 
You're so cute. 
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The events of yesterday hit you hard in the morning. Your eyes are swollen and red because of the crying session you had after masturbation. When the high of the orgasm wore off, everything else came back and it hurt like a bitch. 
You can't believe you let heeseung talk you through your orgasm, you can't believe that he made you cum without touching you, and what you can't believe the most is how much you liked it. 
Your mind drifts off to Jay, and a sudden shame fills you up again. No matter how hard you try, you're unable to forget the look of disappointment on his face, looking at you with so much annoyance etched onto the creases of his face, it almost reminded you of your mother.
Your gaze goes to the clock and you can't help but heave yourself out of the bed. As much as you'd like to stay and rot in extreme self pity, you don't have the option. Jihoon will be up soon, and you have a limited one hour stretch to make his lunch and get ready for college. You're not ready for the walk of shame to college, but being an academic weapon is your only achievement in life. You wonder what you would be if they take that away from you. Have you ever done anything else? Gone out, made friends? Got drunk at parties, had sleepovers? You haven't, you realize with a throbbing pain at the back of your head. It never was an option for you. 
You take a shower and fix a quick breakfast for your brother and yourself, getting ready in your prim and proper attire, reverting back to your put together front. 
Waking up jihoon is a work of lost art that you've mastered over the years, and so it's easy work. What isn't easy, however, is to convince him to let you go. 
"Why can't you stayy" He whines, tears already filling up his big, brown eyes as he clings to your leg like always. 
You kneel down to come face to face with him and quickly wipe his tears away "I'm going to bring back chocolates, you like them right?" you ask, cooing when he nods, his brows still furrowed in defiance. 
"Then someone will have to go and bring them right? so be a good boy and let y/n go" 
His little brows furrow further and he shakes his head again "suzy can go" He declares, and you can't help but be endeared. All the time that you stay away from him, you'd started to believe that he'll develop more of an attachment with suzy and eventually forget you. But these little things, these are the things that keep you going. 
You plant a big kiss on his puffy cheeks and he's back to grinning in no time, giggling as you tackle him in your arms. 
"Just a few more hours baby, I'll be back and we'll play together, I promise" you assure the little boy and his eyes shine at your words, "swings! at the park!" He exclaims, as if remembering the most important treasure of his life. You nuzzle his nose with your own and intertwine your pinky with his tiny one in a promise. It's so easy to make him happy, your perfect little baby. 
You pepper jihoon with a few more kisses before dropping him off at Suzy's.
Your heart tugs when he starts to cry for you again, but this is your life, you suppose. 
You keep your head down the entire way to class, lest you run into Jay and embarrass yourself again. Luckily for you, Jay isn't in his designated seat in the automata class, and you can’t help but breath a sigh of relief.
The relief is tremendously short lived tho, because Lee Heeseung is sprawled on the seat right next to yours in his full glory. 
Your cheeks turn red when your eyes meet his cocky ones. He smirks and raises a suggestive brow when you don't make a move to come any closer. 
"Do you plan to stand for the entirety of this two hour lecture baby?" He asks, suckling on the pop sickle that he always seems to have somehow. You quickly scan the seats around you, deciding fuck it, and plop onto jay's seat instead. There's no way you will be able to spend two whole hours under Heeseung's lecherous gaze. After last night, you have no idea how to face him. Even on normal days he leaves you extremely flustered and a clumsy mess. 
You can feel his gaze burning holes at the back of your head for the entire duration of the lecture. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, a crumpled paper hits the back of your head. You turn around, shooting heeseung an annoyed look. At least you try to look annoyed. The blush is still prominent on your cheekbones so you can only imagine what you look like to him. 
He motions his head towards the ball of paper lying near your feet. As much as you want to ignore his shenanigans and focus on the lecture, curiosity always gets the best of you. 
You unfold it quickly, tucking it inside your book so that nobody else can catch the words scribbled on it. 
"Wait for me in the janitor's closet"  
You shoot a defying look towards heeseung and crumple the paper back to land it near his jordans. It's equivalent to you saying "I won't" 
Heeseung only grins at you, shooting a wink in your direction, as if to reply
"I know you will"
He has some audacity, you think, as you make your way to the janitor's closet after class. A slave to your desires, you suppose.
A part of you is nervous and ashamed when his 6 feet tall figure enters the limited space of the closet, caging you against the wall. However, the other part of you, the desperate part of you , preens in the attention, almost feeling a sick pride in the fact that you made him cum too. And maybe even harder, if the way he was moaning last night was anything to go by.
 
His large hands circle your waist , and your breath hitches in your throat when he pulls you closer to himself, his nose touching yours while his hot breaths warm your mouth. 
"have sex with me" He says, leaving you speechless, yet again. It's not that he hasn't said those exact same words and even worse things to you before. It's the bluntness that never fails to take you by surprise. 
You shake your head, trying to push yourself out of his grasp. He's stubborn tho, and so damn strong, his hold like an iron grip around your body. 
"Cmon- he groans in frustration- you can have sex with me on the phone but not in person, how is that fucking fair? "
You whimper when he squeezes the fat of your waist harshly, as if branding your body in his hold. You aren't used to being touched so wantonly, and it makes a sick shiver run down the length of your spine.
"W-we did not have s-sex" you splutter, staring right back into his orbs. His heavy lidded eyes travel down to your lips and he leans in, making you gasp loudly when his pink tongue comes out to taste your lower lip, licking it tentatively. Almost experimental in how he runs it all over your lower plump lip. He pulls away before he can steal your first kiss, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat disappointed. 
"Yes we did have sex. Your tight little pussy came for my fucking cock while you were moaning my name" He supplies cockily, his words sending a wave of heat rushing down between your legs. 
He buries his nose in the crook of your neck and presses his body flush into yours, grinding the proof of his desire against your leg.
"Look what you do to me, fuck baby, if you won't let me fuck your cunt, at least take responsibility for your own actions" He grunts into your skin and you can't help the pathetic moan that leaves your mouth. 
"H-how" you ask, feeling yourself getting wetter the more that he humps your leg. 
Heeseung doesn't reply to you, instead, takes your hand that's clutching his shoulder and presses it against his hard on instead. 
"fuck yeahhh" He hisses, apparently craving your touch like a drug. 
you're sure your face can't get any redder than this. If it wasn't for his tight hold on your body, your knees would have buckled and given up a while ago. The feeling of a dick underneath your palm is foreign but so arousing, the fact that you did this to him. He’s hard for You. 
"Come on baby, squeeze it like you mean it, make me feel fucking good" He hisses, groaning into your neck when you squeeze him softly. The hardness in his jeans seems to get thicker and thicker, it fascinates you. 
He ruts his hips into your palm, desperately,trying to chase the delicious friction while he pants into your soft flesh.
"Fuck, it's not enough" He curses, pulling back from you to unbuckle himself.
You bite into your lower lip in arousal and squeeze your thighs to alleviate some of the pressure you feel between your legs. 
He looks up into your eyes, licking on his lips as he plays with the band of his boxer briefs. He watches in amusement, the way that your eyes can't seem to focus on one single thing, jumping from here to there, so nervous,so pretty and . God, you're cute. 
He takes your hand in his own again and slips it inside his boxers, covering your palm with his own while he uses your soft hand to jerk himself off. 
The hot and heavy feel of his leaking length has you whining. That only makes him chuckle and groan. "Mhmmn baby that feels so good"
The wet and messy way in which he uses your palm to stroke his length up and down, it's addicting, your palm feels soft and his whole body shivers when he sees how desperately you're squirming, your eyes wide and glossy. He wants to fucking ruin you. 
He presses his body further into yours, taking your earlobe into his mouth, small whimpers falling from his mouth while his movements get faster. Your palm is slick with his precum, it should gross you out but everything is so hot and heavy in the small space. 
"Are you wet? Just from feeling my dick? Desperate little thing aren't you? " He muses. You shake your head meekly, averting your gaze from his sweaty face and looking down to observe the rapid movements of your combined hands inside his boxers. 
"M'not wet" you mewl, eliciting a mocking laugh from the boy. He trails his kisses down the tempting length of your neck, the touch so sensual, it leaves you gasping. 
"I can feel your pretty little body squirming against me you know, makes me wanna force my dick inside you, where will you run if I do? " he asks, biting your collarbone when the slide of his dick gets wetter and squelchier. 
His words, instead of scaring you, make an inexplicable heat to ignite your insides. You want him to, you can't believe how bad you want him to act on his desires because you know you don't have the courage to act on your own. 
"f-fuck, pretty, moan for me baby, wanna hear you when I cum" He sighs into your neck, nipping at your skin and planting kisses in between his moans.
Hearing his words make you keen and he curses under his breath. The hold of his palm is brutal, your hand hurts but God does it feel good to hear him so desperate and needy, whining so hotly in your ear.
"fuck I'm so close so -ugh god-" His voice fades into a delicious moan and you can feel yourself dripping, your juices running down the length your thighs. 
You don't hold back on your sounds, letting small whimpers leave your mouth when he digs his teeth into your skin again. 
"Why won't you let me fuck you baby, wanna be the first to get inside your virgin little pussy so bad" He pants, supporting himself with a hand planted beside your head on the wall while he continues to masturbate using your flesh. 
It's exhilarating, it's hot, and it's so scandalous. 
"H-heeseung! " You moan when he lathers the skin of your neck with his saliva, tasting your skin like his life depends on it. 
"Sh-shit" He stutters, the lewd way you cry out his name make his eyes roll back to the back of his head. You gasp when you feel his hot length twitching repeatedly, warm, thick liquid covering your entire palm along with his own. 
His hips stutter a few more times inside your hold before stilling, a large sigh of satisfaction leaving his lips.
"Fucking hell baby, you always make me cum so hard" He whispers, chuckling to himself. 
He pulls your hand out of his boxers and wipes his hand off on his jeans, while you watch in silence with face turning crimson. He dresses himself and winks at you before walking out of the closet, leaving you standing there with your palm covered in his sticky, gooey cum. 
You feel used, but at least you’re useful for something. 
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To say that you are sick of yourself would be an understatement. You feel violated, but some sick part of you enjoys being desired so wantonly. It turns you on. Heeseung doesn't love you, scratch that, he doesn't even like you but here you are, letting him use your body like some mindless sex toy anytime he damn well pleases. You wonder what that says about you. Sure, he's a jerk, but what are you?
You're lost in thoughts, walking home when a loud honk makes you jump on the sidewalk. You turn towards the car honking at you and come to a halt, facing the very familiar Volkswagen. 
There’s no way.
"Come on sweetheart, get inside" Jay grins at you from the inside of his car. You blink at a him a couple of time to really make sure that he's here. After the complete fiasco last night, you really weren't expecting to hear from him so fast. Or at all for that matter.
Nonetheless, he is here, and he's asking you to get inside his car. With your eyes downcast, you crawl towards it and slip inside the passenger seat, playing with your fingers while you avoid looking at him at all costs. He doesn't start the car, but you can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face. 
"I'm sorry about last night" He begins, and you can't help but look up at him astonished. Why was he sorry? You were the one who royally fucked up. 
He smiles at you apologetically and reaches out a hand to caresses your cheek by the back of it. If you weren't mentally screaming, you're sure you would have said something, and assured him that he has nothing to be sorry about. 
"I just, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast, at least not without taking you on a date first. it's just that we've been friends for so long, and we both like each other, so it just seemed like the right thing to do" He explains, remorse dripping from his tone. You start to node your head in support of his sentiments when his words click inside your brain. 
Wait. 
"Y-you like me?" You blurt, cheeks flaming when his gaze falls to your mouth and he traces your bottom lip with his thumb. 
"So much that i forgot how to behave" He mutters in a trance, all his attention focused on fiddling with your plump and fleshy lower lip.
 
You blush at his words and avert your gaze back down to your lap, and he pulls his hand back. You want to whine at the loss of contact, enjoying too much being caressed so softly. When was the last time you were touched so gently?
"Before I try to kiss you again, because I will, you're too pretty to resist- he chuckles, and you try to bite back the smile that's threatening to break free on your face- would you like to go on an aquarium date with me? A little birdy told me that is your dream date" He grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows when you look into his kind eyes, and you let your giggles take over your body. The fact that he remembers your random rant from months ago shoots a giddy feeling through your heart. It feels good being remembered. 
"How about tomorrow? Skip college and let me take you out? " He suggests and you nod rapidly, almost detaching your neck from its socket. Jay only laughs at you endearingly, and it makes you blush even more. 
He drops you off at the same building as last night again, and both of you are grinning from ear to ear when he drives off. You're sure you catch a few stray looks from the passerbys when they see you beaming and giggling like an idiot as you walk back home with an obvious skip in your step. It’s ridiculous, really, but it feels good to have something to look forward to in a very long time.
You sigh loudly when you remember the promise you made to jihoon this morning. You're mentally calculating the time you have prior to when you need to be at the cafe, when Suzy's door opens before you can even knock on it, and out comes your little brother, bounding, and giggling in a high pitched scream.
You squat down to catch him in your arms before he can collide with your legs. 
"Looks like someone missed me" You giggle, hugging the little life close to your body, sighing upon inhaling the familiar scent of his baby powder. 
"Missed yew" He mumbles into your throat, his little hands wrapped around your neck, and you can’t help but coo at him in adoration. "Missed you too my baby, y/n loves you so much"
"He has been so excited the entire day, he wouldn't even eat until I told him you'll be mad if he didn't" Suzy tells you, coming out of her house with jihoon's water bottle in her hand. You laugh at her words, and pick your brother up in your arms while he continues to nuzzle into you. 
"I'll take him to the park for a bit, I have about an hour before my shift starts" You inform her and she nods at you, running her experienced warm eyes over your face.
 
"You look happy darling" She notes and you can't help the blush that dusts your cheeks at her words. She apparently notices , cooing at how shy you are all of a sudden.
"is it a boy y/n, yes or no?" She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice and you bite your lower lip, nodding in a giddy manner. 
"It is, I have a date tomorrow" you admit, unable to conceal the excitement in your voice. She gasps and pats your head "what a fortunate man he'll be to have someone as amazing as you darling" She whispers, pure emotion shining in her eyes.
 
You swallow the lump forming in your throat at her words, averting your gaze and mumbling a small thank you. No, you refuse to cry today, you had your fill of indulging in your emotions yesterday.
So, you push her words to the recess of your mind, where you securely encase them in a metaphorical box, stacking it up on a bunch of age old boxes. Emotions that you adamantly refused to confront and deal with, a stance that you still maintain.
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As you sit staring at your wardrobe, a sense of urgency washes over you and you come to two stark realizations. 
Firstly, you need to buy more clothes. The sparse collection of garments hanging before you testified to this necessity.
 
Secondly, and perhaps more pressing, was the acute awareness that none of what you have is remotely suitable for a date.
Jay is supposed to pick you up in a mere hour and you don't have anything to wear. Well, there's a blue halter neck dress that you wore for freshmen party in your first year, which you're sure doesn't fit you now. There's 3 silk pressed shirts which you alternate at your college, a handful of skirts and a scattering of sweaters. 
And that's it. 
You're about to cry when you feel a wave of panic rising within you. You’re o utterly unprepared for this moment.
As the crushing clarity threatens to overwhelm you, a pang of longing sweeps through you. You wish you had a girlfriend. It's not like you don't have friends, you talk to several people in school, be it for work or just casual chatting , but that's about it. Your relations with other people end as soon as you step out of your university building. Of course, you know that it's your own fault that you don't have anyone in your life, you never really put in the effort to keep up with someone, a casualty of your own reluctance to invest in deeper connections.
Whenever someone tries to delve deeper into your life, you just push back, and you push back hard. You are too consumed with your own life, you suppose. It's not that you have never had any friends either, you have had quite a lot, in fact, you even had a best friend in middle school. Time really changed you as a person though, its not to say that she didn't change either, time changes everyone, but your change had been tangible. You just let everyone go, choosing to stay in your own miserable bubble, blocking all attempts of reaching out or any support that you so desperately needed. Each flicker of friendship extinguished, each bond severed, bore the weight of your own self imposed isolation. You did this to yourself, you weren't a victim of circumstances no matter how much self pity you reserve for yourself. You were the architect of your own solitude, barricading yourself within the confines of your melancholic safety. You tell yourself that it’s better this way, that you don’t need anyone, but how long can you fool yourself?
The halter dress is the only option left for you it seems. 
The dress is not tight, but anyone looking at it can tell that it's not made to fit your body either. It's not revealing, but you can't call it modest either, at least by your standards, you don't think you've ever shown so much skin before. The blue one piece ends smack in the middle of your thighs, your chest is covered for the most part, and the long sleeves cover up your arms. If it's not for the unfamiliar sight of your bare legs, everything looks quite normal, you don't look hideous so that's a relief. 
You opt for leaving your hairs open, because last time you did that, Jay tried to kiss you. 
You wait for Jay at the entrance of your false residence. If he finds it odd that you're already outside, he doesn't comment on it, and you're grateful for that. 
"Wow" Jay says as soon as you enter his car “ you look so hot”, making your ears turn bright red. 
"T-thank you" you mumble, trying not to be bothered by how blatantly he is ogling at your exposed thighs, or how his eyes linger due to your dress riding upwards when you sit down. 
You both make casual conversation during the drive, and it's comfortable, the casual back and forth just like old friends. You can get used to this, you tell yourself.
The aquarium that he takes you to is bigger than your entire university building, so pretty and so enchanting, you almost lose track of time. Ever since you were little, you have dreamed of visiting one, you remember writing the same in one of your introductory papers in second semester, a paper that was discussed in class as well. How jay managed to remember that is beyond you tho. Throughout the date, he keeps you updated on every thing that you come across, and it feels good to have his attention completely focused on you. You almost combust when he takes you to a restaurant after the aquarium date, thoroughly flabbergasted because you've never been on a date before. 
The experience is something you will never forget, your first date, the thought makes you feel ecstatic, the wide smile on your face which refuses to go away is a testament to that. 
Turns out, your first kiss happens in the same night as well. As soon as Jay parks his car outside your trademark building, he's all over you. He doesn't ask you, he just leans over to you and smashes his lips against yours, tasting your hot mouth eagerly. You don't know what you're doing, your hands are placed awkwardly over his chest while you try to move your lips against his, mimicking his movements to the best of your ability. He doesn't seem bothered by your lack of skills tho, just diving into your mouth with his tongue, one hand cupping your face while with the other, he gropes your thighs. 
You push back your discomfort and revel in the feeling of his touch, gasping when he bites into your lower lip. He tastes like the wine you drank at the restaurant and you wonder if you taste the same to him. 
The kiss ends too soon for your liking, but, the feeling of his dark eyes and rough hands running all over the length of your body shamelessly, follows you back home. 
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You ignore heeseung's calls for the next few days, almost contemplating blocking his number once and for all, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to do it.
Your dates with Jay continue, and you do manage to buy yourself a new dress. You’re doing well for your first relationship, if you can even call it that.
Even though Jay does seem to love kissing you, never in a million did you ever think that you'd find yourself in such a compromising position. However, here you are, sitting on Jay's lap in the middle of class while he eats your face. Yes, he's actually devouring your mouth, tongue buried so deep into your throat that the feeling has you arching your body into him. 
What makes the experience more thrilling is the audience you have. Your classmates had collectively gasped when Jay pulled you onto his lap seemingly out of nowhere. But, it isn't them that you are worried about. It's the boy at the back of the class with a perfect scowl etched onto his handsome face as he watches you make out with someone that's not him. 
Heeseung looks livid and you wonder why. Is he upset because he thinks you aren't a virgin anymore? 
Jay lets you go with a smirk when the professor announces his presence, and you rush to your seat that's right in front of the scowling boy, in a daze. It's actually amazing how he ignores you the entire lecture, something that has never happened before. what's more unsettling is the fact that you are mildly disappointed by that. 
You want to ask him what he's upset about, but you aren't able to gather the courage to. As much as heeseung's a constant itch at the back of your head, you remind yourself that you're dating Jay now, so you can't be thinking about other men. 
You're dating Jay now. You're dating Jay. You're dating. 
None of those sentences sound real to you. 
However, the giddy feeling inside your chest dwindles as Jay gets more and more touchy throughout the entire day. You can't tell if it's normal to grope your chest just a few days after you had your first kiss, but you don't want to make him upset again. You don’t like seeing him angry. Besides, isn't this what you always wanted? Someone to want you, someone to love you? 
And haven't you let Heeseung do worse things to you anyway? Why haven't you ever felt such discomfort when Heeseung used your body to get himself off? . But the truth is, has Heeseung ever touched you this way? Sure he sends you inappropriate messages that are borderline harassment, sure he used your hand to jerk himself off once, sure he wants your virginity and he has made his intentions clear, but has he ever ventured beneath your clothes before? 
He has never groped your body before, not like Jay is doing. Now that you think about it, heeseung has never even kissed you before. Your mind makes countless comparisons between Heeseung and Jay, and you wonder why you do that to yourself. Were you really comparing the guy whose whole purpose of pursuing you was to pop your cherry and wear it like a symbol of achievement, to the boy that likes you and took you to your dream date? 
A gasp leaves your throat when jay grabs your ass, smacking it and making you yelp between harsh kisses. You're glad you're in his car and not outside, glad that people aren't there to witness you being touched like this.
"You're so pretty" He whispers in your ear, and so you latch onto his words and overlook his actions.
 
Now that you have someone who likes you back, do you really want to push him away? Do you want to let your useless self doubt and trust issues stop you from living your life yet again? No. 
Thus, you push your discomfort to the back of your mind when his hand travels under your skirt at one point. 
"It's normal y/n, don't make a fool of yourself" you chant in your head, trying to enjoy the feeling of being wanted. 
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“We never really talk.... There's so much we still don't know about each other" your voice is meek, feeling hesitant to say your thoughts out loud in case you end up upsetting jay; which you seem to be doing a lot, to be honest. 
The said boy groans from the seat in front of you where he's busy on his phone, completely facing away from you. 
"We know plenty" He quips, not even sparing you a glance, and you bite your lower lip to stop yourself from thinking too much about it. Maybe he just isn't in the mood today? But again, when is he ever in a mood? 
All you do is make out, and when things get heated, you always pull away. Then he gets agitated, and doesn't talk to you for days. It fucks with your head, but you go along, and even though you don't feel comfortable, you start letting him touch you more, and even though your body is taut with tension, he never seems to care. 
You want to tell him about your brother, want to share the little things you do together and the things that make you happy. You want to ask what his favorite color is.
However, the opportunity never seems to come. 
Your mind drifts off to heeseung, and the little notes he used to throw at the back of your head during last semester. 
"Do you like roses or lilies?"
"Do you sleep on your stomach or side? "
"Are you going to the town fair?"
You remember ignoring him back then, but now your heart constricts. Even if he was just trying to bother you, those questions were probably the only time someone had tried to get to know you. You don't know what it is about heeseung, but everybody just looks at you, he's the only one who has ever made you feel seen. Maybe in another universe you would push aside your shyness and answer those notes. Maybe in another universe you would throw some notes back at him, asking things that you wanna know. 
"I like tulips... But lilies are good too"
"I sleep on my back, sleeping in any other position makes me sore, I don't know why tho"
"I'm not going to the town fair, I have to stay home with my brother, he's really small"
But it's too late now, and you swallow down your words, squash the need to talk to someone, and resort to the heavy silence that is your life. 
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Heeseung is about to fly off the handle. The sight of you in another man's arms shouldn't bother him this much and yet, it does. The fact that you're ignoring his calls and messages makes him feel slightly insane. It shouldn't be like this. You are just a bet. A pick. Just another name on the list. 
Then why the fuck is he this close to smashing jay's annoying face in. It isn't even about your virginity anymore, and that's what bothers him the most. 
He hates it, hates that he's so affected by you, but he should have seen it coming,to be honest. With the way he stays up late just to jerk off to your pretty face, no girl has ever drove him this close to insanity before. The lust he feels for you is blinding and all consuming. It burns him, the desire he feels for you scorches him from the inside. It unsettles him how badly you’ve managed to turn him into a slave to your big, doe eyes.
Therefore, when he catches you alone in the classroom after three whole weeks of you ignoring his presence, he just can't help himself. It’s unfair how fucking pretty you look standing near the white board, scribbling something down onto your notebook while trying to setup the projector for your presentation later.
The sound of the classroom door being shut makes you jump, but the reason makes cold dread run inside your chest. Heeseung looks like a predator as he advances on your figure, eyes dark in lust and the vein in his neck throbbing with anger. His hands itch with the desire to touch you, it's been way too long for his liking since he last felt you close. 
Before you can say anything or do anything, he's on you. The feeling of his lips against yours is electrifying,it feels like your entire body comes alive at the contact. His kiss is surprisingly slow and more bruising than you've ever been kissed before. His hands wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to himself, tilting his head to trace your lower lip with his tongue, waiting for you to let him in. 
You should push him away but you don't. You can't. Your head is dizzy with a passion you've only ever felt with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you push yourself closer to his firm body, opening your mouth and letting him tangle his tongue with yours. The moan that leaves your mouth at the feeling makes his slacks tighten, his dick hard and throbbing inside his trousers. 
You taste so fucking addicting, Heeseung doesn't wanna stop kissing and tasting your warm mouth. 
When he pulls away to breathe, you're both panting heavily, his forehead resting against yours, dark eyes staring into your soul. 
"I don't like when someone ignores me y/n" He growls, his voice sharp and hoarse from desire. The feeling of his hard on digging into your stomach makes you squirm. 
"I - I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be talking to you" You manage to let out, biting back another moan when he grinds a bit into you. 
Heeseung feels hot rage flash across his chest at your words. 
"Oh yeah? He got his dick inside you yet?" He asks, his words making you blanch. How was he always so vulgar?
 
"That's, that's none of your business" You splutter, looking anywhere but his eyes. 
His hold tightens around your waist and he continues to grind his hard on against your soft flesh.
 
"I'll take that as a no, fuck, still a virgin aren't you baby?" he guesses.
You avoid looking at him and it only spurs him on further, his hold tightens around your body the more that you try to maintain some space.
"What a loser, if I was him, I would have buried myself into that tight little cunt of yours on the first night of our date" He whispers, and for some reason, his words excite you instead of disgusting you. A sick tingle runs down your spine and throbs between your legs.
"H-he's not like you" You quip, looking up into his eyes to get your point across "he doesn't want me for my body, he loves me for me"
Your words seem to make him angry, if the slight clench of his jaw is anything to go by. 
He stops moving against you and scoffs. 
"Loves you? What do you know about being loved y/n? " 
His tone is mocking, and eyes full of unfiltered rage, the words spoken with an intention to hurt. And hurt, they do. You wonder how he knows the exact place to strike to make pain ricochet so wildly inside your ribs. 
What do you know about being loved? Nothing, you suppose. How do you recognize love if you have never seen it before? or do you just accept everything that comes to you as love because you don't have any option to? do you just cling onto every act of kindness because of how much you want it to be love? 
What do you know about being loved indeed. 
Seeing your face fall makes heeseung regret his words almost instantly, the sight of your big eyes blinking up at him so solemnly makes his heart twist uncomfortably. What the fuck? 
Before he can apologize, however, your small hands slide down to push against his chest, and he lets you go. He doesn't stop you when you collect your assignment that you'd been working on when he barged in, your gaze downcast and shoulders slumped as if heavy from the weight of his words. 
The urge to pull you into his arms hits him as he watches you leave, but he's too much of a coward for that.
Because no matter how much he wants himself to believe it, 
You aren't just a name on the list, you never have been.
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The atmosphere feels different today. You took a day off from college just to spend time with Jay, and although it makes you feel guilty that you left jihoon with suzy for the entire day, you can't help but be selfish for once. 
All of this feels like a fever dream and you want to enjoy it before your alarm rings and you’re thrust back into the harsh reality once again.
Jay took you back to the aquarium, then you both went to the beach that his dad owned, and you were having so much fun that you just couldn't say no when he asked you to stay the night at his place. "No funny business" He assured. 
But that didn't last long. 
You whined into his mouth as his rough palms travelled beneath your silky sundress, sundress that he bought for you. "The yellow really suits your skin, wanna kiss you stupid" He had said, leaving you a flustered mess. 
"I'm gonna take this off baby" Jay whispers into your mouth, sitting back up and sliding your dress up your legs without waiting for your answer. 
You squirm in anxiety and embarrassment when he exposes your panties to his curious eyes. You want to cover yourself, you want to hide, but his firm hold on your waist keeps you down and under his mercy. 
He slides your dress further up your stomach and then it happens. Your worst nightmare comes true. His eye brows furrow and you watch in dread as his entire face shuts down. 
"Let's turn the lights off" He says, and you don't know what's worse, the way he eyes your body in distaste , or the way he pulls your dress down to cover you up. 
"Why? " You manage to ask, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. You know why, you just want to hear it. You want to hear him say it so that your illusion can shatter once and for all. 
Jay looks away and sighs, his jaw ticking in frustration "because that's how I like to have sex" He replies, his tone smooth, but you are anything but stupid. 
You sit up and bite on your wobbly lower lip, smoothing down your dress on your thighs with shaky hands.
 
"You don’t like what you saw" You whisper, barely audible, but he hears you alright. His nostrils flare as he finally turns to face you, looking angry and terrifying. 
"Do you have to be so damn difficult all the fucking time you stupid bitch? I'm trying not to be mean but you wanna hear how much your body's turning me off to your face? " He grits, hands coming down to grab your thighs and spreading your legs open. A sob escapes your lips at his words and you hit his chest to push him away
"I w-want to go home" You cry, sobbing more when he grunts in anger and slaps your face, pinning you down by your throat while he pushes you down onto your back, and straddles your thighs. 
"Wasted so much of my fucking time on you, and now you want to go home? Right when I'm this close to being the first one who's gonna scratch your name off the list? "
Your heart stops at the implication of his words, pure disgust and terror runs through your veins.Your eyes fill up with more tears and you start using your full body strength, squirming and flailing, somehow managing to hit him in the shins with your knee. He howls in pain and rolls off of you , cussing you out.
"Fucking bitch" He growls, but you don't stay or look back, grabbing your phone and running as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps chasing you, but the adrenaline pushes you forward even though your vision is blurry with how much you're crying.
How you managed to open his house's main gate is beyond you, but once you are out in the open, the night air hitting your wet cheeks, that's when you come to a halt. You don't know how far or how long you ran, you don't see any people around, just luxurious houses standing tall, and it makes you sob more. You don't see Jay chasing you down the road so that calms your heart a little, but soon, the gravity of your situation sinks in. You almost got raped. 
The thought makes your knees wobble and you unceremoniously collapse onto the sidewalk, your back resting against a cold metal pole. Your hands shake and sobs wrack your entire body, feeling intense pain coursing through your bones. 
You were jay's pick too. How could you have been so blind to the signs? Him approaching you out of the blue, just a few weeks after the list got released . if you weren't blinded by your stupid feelings, you would have seen it as clear as day. He wanted your virginity. Just like Heeseung. 
He didn't like you as you had deluded yourself into thinking.
The disgust on his face when he saw the stretch marks littering the lining of your stomach, it was so palpable it made you flinch.
 
Was he going to fuck you just for the sake of winning the game? Is your virginity really all that? But who are you kidding, all this time, you have held onto your virginity so desperately because you know that it's the only thing that makes you desirable, doesn't it? It's the only reason Heeseung wants you, it's the only reason Jay pursued you, what even are you without your virginity? Once you lose it, you'll fade into the background again. 
No more delusions. Just plain, cruel reality. 
The hurt you feel is something that you brought upon yourself. Did you not know yourself? How could you ever, even for a second, expect someone to love this version of you? When even you can't look at your body without disgust, why did you expect Jay to? 
As your sobs quite down and turn into small sniffles, you dial Heeseung's number and let your phone ring. This is it, you think to yourself, heart oddly calm when he picks up on the second ring. 
"Hey sweetheart, this is the first time you have called me on y-
"Do you still want to fuck me? " You ask, your voice hoarse and monotonous. 
You hear a sudden clatter of something falling down on the other end of the line, like he dropped something, taken off guard by the suddenness of your question. 
"I-yeah-i mean what? are you okay baby? " He splutters, and your head throbs, you look around yourself and don't even recognize where you are.
 
"can you pick me up? I know it's late, but i think I'm lost, you can fuck me as payment, I'm still a virgin" You explain. And somehow, hearing you talk about yourself like a commodity rubs Heeseung the wrong way. What's going on with you? You don't even sound like the y/n he knows.
 
"Where are you baby? " He asks, and if you didn't know any better, you would say that he sounds concerned. 
"I don't know.. there's a beach nearby.... and the area looks expensive, but i can't tell what street-
"send me your location from the maps baby, I'll be right there, just stay where you are " He warns before hanging up. 
You want to smack your head against concrete, so much for being an academic weapon, why didn't you think about sharing your location before. 
You rub your bare arms to keep yourself warm. Apparently, the dress isn't as warm against the night cold as it seemed to be inside the warmth of the house. 
Somehow, this decision feels right. Heeseung has been the only person who has been honest about his intentions with you from the very beginning. Although it was the exact same thing that Jay wanted, but still, it feels right to let Heeseung take your virginity instead of anybody else. You want this miserable fallacy of want and desire to end. And for that, you are going to give away the only thing that makes you special. Sounds like a perfect plan to you. 
After what seems like an eternity, a blue Toyota stops right in front of you. 
You don't even glance at it twice, just staring blankly at your feet, until you hear the driver's door open, and shoes come into your line of vision. You don't even have a chance to look up before heeseung's gathering you into his arms
"Holy fuck you're freezing baby" He exclaims, picking up your numb body as you cling onto him for life, you can barely feel your legs. Heeseung lays you down in the back seat, and instantly turns the heater on. A cold shiver runs up your spine at the sudden temperature change, your eyes falling shut on their own, and everything around you fades into darkness. You want to sleep a very long sleep. 
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Heeseung looks at your body in his back seat, anxiety coiling in his stomach at the sight of you being curled up into a fetus position. Even as he drives, he can't concentrate on anything else, because he's pretty sure he saw a red mark on your left cheek, like someone hit you. Hard. 
He's hoping he's wrong, because the rage building up in his chest is inexplicable.
There's dry mascara tracks running down your cheeks so he figures that you must have been crying, and he can't help the sick jolt he feels in his cock at the thought. 
The yellow dress you're wearing is riding all the way upto your thighs, and Heeseung can feel his throat getting parched. So much skin. He's never seen you this exposed before. He wants to touch you, wants to run his palm over your smooth skin and kiss you till you're moaning into his mouth , and he wants to take you up on that offer you made on the phone, he wants to see for himself how pretty you look while crying. 
He curses himself for having such thoughts when you're clearly not okay, but Heeseung's no saint. He’s never claimed to be one either. 
He knows that if you asked him to take your virginity to his face, he will ravage you on the spot, it won't matter that you seem to be in pain. He'll make you forget everything and fill you with pure pleasure the entire night. 
He's not a man of morals, and he's never pretended to be one. 
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You wake up with a start, breathing heavily while your eyes adjust to the view around you. The unfamiliar soft sheets, the tasteful and expensive decor of the room, it all intimidated you somehow. You called heeseung, that's all that you remember, everything after that is a blur. Is this jay's room? Did he find you again? 
Your heart's beating really fast, threatening to give up on you as you look down and see yourself in a white linen shirt instead of the dress that you were wearing instead. What the fuck happened. 
You instinctively reach between your legs and it doesn't hurt, your panties are dry and intact. So, this isn't jay's house or clothes. The familiar cologne fills up your senses once you take a whiff of the shirt you're wearing, and it all makes sense. Heeseung. 
This is heeseung's house, and his room probably, definitely his shirt. Did he change you out of your dress? Was he as disgusted as jay when he saw the mess that you were underneath your clothes?
You look around yourself and sigh in relief at finding your phone on the bedside table, exhaling the breath that you didn't know you have been holding. 
Before you can reach for it tho, the door to the room opens. You pull the sheets closer to your chest when Heeseung peeks in. He seems a little taken aback at seeing you awake and sitting up , looking like he caught you in the middle of doing something. 
"Thank god you're up baby, thought you’d die on me" He grins, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, the room feels small for just the two of you, your fingers wringing nervously when he takes a seat next to you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks. 
You bite back a pained whimper at the pressure against your left cheek, Jay must have hit you really hard, the skin still sensitive and stinging at the slightest of touch. Heeseung seems to notice your discomfort and removes that hand instantly, choosing to caress the other side of your face instead. 
"I need to know that you're okay sweetheart" He says, urging you to speak. But you don't know what you're supposed to say, you aren't okay, obviously, but this is better than everything else so you suppose you are. You choose to nod instead. 
He hums and slides more closer to you, forcing you to look into his eyes, his face so close that if you leaned forward just a bit, your lips would collide. 
"Do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" He asks, and you are taken aback by the softness in his touch and words. But you'd be a fool if you fall for that again. 
Hence, you take hold of his free hand instead, watching how his eyes immediately fall to your tight grip, watching in rapt attention as you guide his hand under your shirt, and between your legs. Heeseung's eyes instantly darken when his hand comes into contact with your panty clad pussy, a few choice words leaving his mouth when you gasp at his touch. 
Fuck. He likes this bold version of you. 
His eyes meet yours, and hot arousal pools in his lower stomach at the way you're looking at him, eyes blown out in lust and desperation.
"It doesn't matter" You whisper, inching closer to his face, and planting a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "just want you to fuck me and show me how good sex can feel" 
A deep grunt leaves his chest at your words, and the next thing you know, his hungry mouth is latched on yours, the force of his actions making you hit your back against the bed sheets while he mounts your body, his palm still cupping the centre of your legs. He kisses you like he's been deprived of you for so long. All thoughts of your well being leave his mind, focus locked onto the sinful words you just whispered into his ear. His tongue dives into your mouth and you give him free access, both of you exchanging spit messily. You mewl into his kiss, your body squirming pathetically when he starts rubbing your clit from above your panties, applying just the right amount of pleasure to leave you gasping. 
You're just about to thread your fingers in his silky strands when the familiar ringtone of your phone makes you jolt. He ignores the sound like he can't even hear it, tongue too busy sucking yours, the movement of his thumb getting faster and harder. 
You can't ignore the sound tho, there aren't many people who call you. So, when your phone rings for the second time, you know it's important. You push against his chest, and he pulls away, panting heavily while he stares at you, brows furrowed in confusion. 
You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth as you watch him gathering your saliva coating his lips and sucking it into his own. How does he make everything seem so hot and nasty?
"Sorry, i- i have to take that" you whisper, motioning towards your blaring phone. Heeseung grabs it from the nightstand and hands it over to you instantly "make it fast baby" He grunts, retreating his hand from between your legs and settling on groping the soft flesh of your thighs instead. 
You nod, and curse when you see Suzy's name. Fuck. Fuck. You never thought about informing her of your whereabouts. She must have been waiting for you. Jihoon must be waiting for you. With an apology on the top of your tongue, you swipe right.
"Hey suzy, I'm sorr-
"Y/n, your dad is back and you need to come back right now" Her terrified voice cuts you off. Panic takes hold of your spine, and you instinctively get out of the bed, standing up to calm down your heart. You can feel heeseung's inquisitive gaze on you, but you can't be bothered with keeping up appearances right now. 
"What do u mean? Why do u sound scared?" You ask her, tears gathering at your waterline, because as much as you want to stay calm, the terror grips hold of your heart. It’s never good when your dad is back.
There's some shuffling on the other side, and your heart drops when you recognize jihoon's sobs, and Suzy's coos trying to shush him down. 
"What's going on?!" you can't help but raise your voice, even though it quivers. 
"Listen y/n, I think he came back a few hours ago, but when he didn't find you at home he came banging on my door, asking me where you were. And he was drunk out of his mind, but he heard jihoon's voice and now he is not leaving. He keeps banging on the windows, and asking for his son, I don't know what to do. I kept calling you, and you didn't pick up. I'm going to call the police, but jihoon is not my child y/n, you have to come back right now" More shuffling, and a loud thudding sound cuts the call off, making your heart beat out of your chest. 
"Suzy??, suzy?!" No response. You look around in panic, meeting Heeseung's worried eyes. 
"Pants, can you lend me some pants please" you ask him, tears dripping down your face. You're panicking so hard right now, your fingers feel numb. Heeseung scrambles to his feet immediately, and noticing your shaking hands, he helps you inside them himself, folding them so they don’t restrict your movement. 
"Thank you, can you- you fret- can you please, please drop me to my house. I know I promised I'd let you fuck me but I really need-
His soft lips interrupt your rant while he kisses you tenderly and cups your face, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs "address, baby" 
And this time, you tell him your real one. 
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You keep dialing Suzy's number the entire ride home but she doesn't pick up. If Heeseung hears you quietly sobbing, he doesn't mention it. You guide him to your house, and are thankful for the distraction his fingers provide as he draws random patterns on your thigh with his free hand.
You don't believe in God, you never have, but somehow , in this moment, you pray to whatever power is out there, if there is any, to keep your brother safe. You don't care about anything else. Just keep your little love safe.
Heeseung doesn't make small talk, doesn't ask questions, and you find that so comforting, it makes you wanna sob your heart out in his car. 
The way he doesn’t look even slightly disgruntled by the state of your house or your neighborhood makes you want to tell him all about that you've been going through while he says nothing at all. It's been so long since someone listened to you, you know, just for the sake of listening, to take some burden off of your heavy heart. 
You don't question it when heeseung gets out of his car with you, letting him follow you to Suzy's house. You don't even trust heeseung like that, but knowing that he's right behind gives you a silent strength.
Your dad's slumped on the front porch, one baseball bat clutched in one hand, and rubbing his face with the other. To say that he disgusts you, would be an understatement. How could you have ever loved this man? You haven't seen your father in so long, he got lost behind the violent person with red raging eyes a very long time ago. This man in front of you isn't your dad. 
His bleary eyes fall on you, and he instantly stumbles onto his feet, pointing the bat at you. 
"Where have you been you little whore" He hisses, his red eyes looking at you in pure hatred. 
"What do you want dad?" You ask, fighting away any shakiness that manages to creeps into your words. Your heart is beating fast, you need to make sure that jihoon is safe, but the lack of noise from inside the house scares you. 
"Where's my money?" He demands gruffly, taking a few steps towards you. You don't stumble back like you usually do, trying to hold your ground. 
"There's no money dad, there's nothing for you here" You quip. Your words seem to anger him more, his nostrils flare, and he points the bat at the house "bring that little bitch out, I know you're hiding him inside, if you won't make me money, he will" He spits, and you can't believe your ears, hot tears dribble down your cheeks, blurring your vision of him.
 
"What the fuck is wrong with you?? Have you got no amount of shame left in you? "
A yelp resounds from your throat when your father grabs hold of your wrist all of a sudden, pulling you close, boring his threatening eyes into yours. You wince at the smell of alcohol on his breath. 
"The fuck did you just say to me you little slut- he twists your arm, making you cry out in pain, you try pulling yourself away but he only tightens his hold on your arm- do u want me to break your ribs like I did with your whore moth- it all happens so fast, the grip on your arm loosens, a scream rips through the air, your dad falls to the ground. And then there's silence. 
You stare in disbelief at the boy straddling over your dad's unconscious body, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. He punches your dad's face twice more, then kicks him to roll him over while he stands back up. 
At that point he turns to you, and you start sobbing. Heeseung is about to open his mouth to apologize for punching your dad unconscious, panicking that he did something wrong when you're pulling him into you, smashing your lips against his, kissing him with all that you've got. 
Heeseung is taken aback, his eyes widening when your taste invades his mouth, but he recovers almost instantly and pulls you close to his body, kissing you back just as hard. The kiss is wet and salty because of how much you're crying, but he couldn't care less.
 
You're both breathing heavily when you pull apart, eyes widening when you hear Suzy's door click open. Jihoon! 
You leave Heeseung standing on the porch, running to suzy when she comes outside "jihoon?" you question, your voice out of breath. 
She glances at Heeseung, and then at your dad, before looking back at you.
"He fell asleep while crying, I think he got one of his seizures y/n, all the shouting really scared him" she explains, and you cup your mouth, more tears prick your eyes, feeling your heart break all over again. 
It's been years since your brother got his last seizure attack because of trauma triggers. You have managed to keep him away from all his triggers, except this time. All because you were selfish, and wanted to stay the night away. Your life has to be one long, never ending sick joke. 
"where's he?" you ask, your voice feeble, you're afraid you'll start screaming if you aren't careful. 
"In the spare bedroom, go, I'll take care of him" She says, motioning towards your dad. 
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The time span between carrying your brother home to tuck his sleeping figure inside his buzz Light year sheets, while suzy takes care of informing the police and calling the ambulance for your unconscious, and injured dad is a blur for you. 
Heeseung doesn't get in trouble because you vouch for the attack being in self defense, your dad's history of abuse and drinking helps your case. 
After all cars are gone, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief, you realize that Heeseung is still here. Your heart feels full when you look at his unruly appearance, and you don't want to admit the yearning you feel for him right at this moment. He's the first person besides suzy to witness the shit show that is your life, and you wonder why isn't gone yet. 
And then you remember. Right, your virginity. How can you forget. 
You find him leaning against your kitchen counter, hands in pocket as he waits for you. He looks so out of place standing in your small kitchen, the light bulb swinging above his head makes his skin glow, and you can't help but be attracted towards him like a moth drawn to the flame. His eyes find yours as soon as you round the corner to your kitchen, and they stay. This look is different.
He's looking at you like he's seeing you for the first time. 
You take tentative steps towards his figure, fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt that you're wearing. You don't even get to open your mouth before he's pulling you closer to him, his one hand wrapping around your waist while he cups your cheek with the other, swallowing the gasp that escapes your lips at the sudden touch. 
He kisses you like you're the air that he breathes, his tongue dipping and tasting all crevices of your warm mouth. You fist the shirt on his chest, and tilt your head to deepen the kiss, whining into his famished mouth. 
The kiss is everything you've ever wanted. It's not rushed, but it's needy. The passion dripping from his lips renders you boneless, and you lean further into him. The exhaustion seeping inside your bones seems to get heavy with each languid stroke of his tongue, and you don't realize when the tears start falling down your cheeks. He doesn't pull back tho, just trails his kisses upto your face, swallowing your tears as he pulls you flush to his body, dissipating any ounce of space that was left between you two. 
When you pull apart, your mouths are connected by a string of saliva, hot pants escaping your chests. He rests his forehead against yours, and caresses your face by the back of his hand, cooing when you bite your lower lip to stop the tears from falling again. 
You're exhausted. You're dead tired and his touch seems to be your undoing, setting all your emotions free, the severity of all the events that happened in the last twelve hours hitting you all at once. 
"Let me fuck your pain away, baby" He whispers, and in that moment, you can't seem to resist falling into the familiar comfort of delusion. You know that once you let him fuck you, he'll lose interest, but you need it now. You want to bask in his affection and call it love. You want to experience feeling loved and wanted before it's inevitably snatched away from you. 
"fuck me" you whisper back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when he groans and leans into your mouth again. Heeseung feels like a fucking jerk, but seeing you so helpless, and in dire need of his touch makes him delirious.
 
This is a new feeling. This desire to be needed by you.
He would not admit it to you, but he relishes in the fact that you're alone, and in so much pain. It makes it easier for him to show you how much you need him. He wants you to keep him, crave him like he does you. 
You gasp into his mouth when he hoists you up into his arms, your tiny figure melting into his touch. He loves it, loves how easy you are. 
He might be taking advantage of your pain and vulnerability, but he only wants you to want him just as badly as every bone in his body wants you. 
Your back hits the couch, and you stare up at him with wide eyes as he hovers over you, a lustful glint in them that drives him nuts. Your hands bunch up the shirt on his chest, and you pull him back into you again, not getting enough of his lips on yours. 
You love how dizzy his touches are making you, your body arching into him when he gropes your curves, his hands all over you.
"Wanna see you naked" He whispers, and your heart plummets into your stomach. A sinking feeling beginning to form a pit inside your chest. No, it can't be happening again. 
He must see the hesitance on your face, because he's caressing your cheek again, so softly and so gently, you almost mistake it for genuine care, but you know better. 
"What is it?" He asks, planting few pecks on your pouty and swollen lips. 
You twiddle with the button of his shirt, and avoid eye contact. 
"C-can we turn the lights off? looking at me might turn you off" you manage to mumble, the words burning your throat on their way out .However, you're done lying to yourself. 
Heeseung doesn't say anything, and you peek up to see his face. He is looking at you like you've grown two heads. It makes you feel self conscious, your ears burning in humiliation, feeling like you ruined the mood already. 
"You're beautiful" He blurts, eyes still fixed on you in disbelief, he can't fathom you thinking such a thing about yourself. Him? Getting turned off by you? He has not heard a more ridiculous thing in his life before.
Your eyes snap up to him at his words and you furrow your brows in irritation.
"You don't have to lie to get inside my pants I al-"
"I've jerked off to your face" He cuts you off. Your mouth splutters like a fish as you blink up at him, trying to process his words. 
He's still staring at you, eyes dark and deep.
"Jerked off just to your face. Not even your body. you're so beautiful I get hard by the mere thought of you" 
You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Only Heeseung can say such things and make them feel like a compliment. You can't help the giggle that escapes your lips, and you hide your face into your hands.
"God, you're unbelievable" you groan between your giggles, unknown to the fact that heeseung's currently losing his damn mind on top of you. In that moment he realises, that he's never made you laugh before. You have never looked up at him and giggled before. The sound shoots straight to his hardening cock and spreads a warm feeling inside of his chest. He can't believe how overwhelming this sudden emotion is, and he isn’t sure where this sudden influx of affection for you is coming from. However, there’s one thing heeseung’s sure about, and it’s the fact that he loves this sight more than he loves to see you crying. And that's saying a lot. 
He swallows thickly when you remove your hands from in front of your face, and smile up at him, chewing on your lower lip as the blush on your cheeks darkens
"This might be most romantic thing someone has ever said to me" you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck again. 
Heeseung leans down to press soft kisses to your jaw, preventing you from seeing the softness in his eyes. He trails his kisses down towards your neck, loving the way your breath hitches. 
"Do you wanna hear the other romantic things I have to say about you?" He asks, mouthing at your collarbone, and you whine when he digs his teeth into your soft skin. 
"Y-yeah" you mewl, your body squirming as he squeezes your ass in one hand while he supports himself over you with the other. 
His hand travels inside your (his) shirt, touching your skin, caressing it. You bite on your lower lip, eyes fluttering when he reaches your bra covered breasts. Your nipples are already hard and pebbled, and you moan loudly when he pinches them. 
"fuck" He groans, your erotic sounds making him leak inside his jeans. 
He mouths hotly at the hollow of your neck, and squeezes your boobs harshly, making you cry out again. Fuck, he loves playing with your body like this. 
You tangle your fingers inside his hairs, your toes curling at the attention he's giving to your chest. 
Heeseung sits up to unbutton your shirt, manhandling your body to take it off of you in a lust driven frenzy. As soon as it’s off of your body, he instantly goes back to squeezing your soft flesh again, watching with dark eyes how your soft skin turns red in his hold.
"Ah-heeseung" you whimper, feeling exposed at how he greedily drinks in your uncovered skin. 
He unbuttons your (his) jeans, and slides them off of your legs in one go, discarding them on the floor. He bites his lower lip, his eyes running across your uncovered body, and he can feel how hard and heavy he is inside his jeans. He fights the urge to squeeze his junk when you bite on your finger, doe eyes staring up at him, your body squirming as he gropes you. 
You're so naively sexy, your innocence drives him batshit insane. 
"I almost jerked off to you while changing your clothes you know? you just looked too fucking sexy to resist" He grunts, his fingers running over your stretch marks. Before you have a chance to feel self conscious about the fact that he's seen your body before, or feel apprehensive about his touch on your stretch marks, he leans down to kiss them. You gasp when he runs his hot tongue over them, kissing and licking like he can't help it. He traces your panty line with the tip of his tongue, hands groping your thighs mercilessly.
He's so close to your pussy, and your face burns.
 
"H-heeseung" You squeak out, and the boy instantly climbs up your body to come face to face with you, pecking you softly as he hums. 
"I-i haven't shaved" you tell him shyly, your ears heating up in embarrassment. But you need to tell him now before he recoils in disgust later. 
What you don't expect is the way he chuckles, leaning down to nibble on your cheek while his hand cups your breast again, squeezing and groping. 
"you worry about the things that don't even cross my mind baby- he pecks your nose and stares into your eyes- you think I'll care about some hairs when your warm pussy is right there? that I'll be able to think about anything other than sucking and fucking when my dick's about to fall off?"
Your face is so hot you can feel the heat radiating off of you. Though his words are vulgar, and so obscene, they do placate your worries for a bit. 
Keyword : a bit.
You're still apprehensive about him being down there. What if you smell bad? and taste even worse? 
You gasp when he roughly pulls your boobs out of your bra cups, and takes one in his wet mouth. You tug on his hairs, and moan when he bites your nipple too harshly, the sensation making you arch your back into his mouth. 
You don't notice when his hand travels between your legs, but a deep whine falls from your lips when he runs a finger over your panty clad slit. 
"you're fucking dripping baby" He groans into your flesh that he still has in his mouth, sucking and biting both of your boobs till they sting. 
You try to close your thighs around his hand but he tsks in faux disappointment, and parts them again, trailing his kisses down towards your centre, leaving no portion of your skin unmarked. 
He kisses your pussy from above your panties, slurpimg your wetness through the sheer material, burying his nose into your slit.
"fuck baby, taste so good" he groans, rubbing his nose in your wetness, tracing the outline of your pussy with his mouth. You bite your finger, and squirm in his touch, feeling yourself dripping more. 
He trails his kisses down to your inner thighs, making you squeal when he digs his teeth into your sensitive flesh. He chuckles into your skin, and does the same to your other thigh. He seems to be enjoying this more than you are. He leaves more bites marks up your leg before burying his face between your legs again, making your thighs close around his head. 
The action makes something in him snap, and heeseung sits up on his hunches, stares straight into your eyes while he licks his lips for your juices, and starts sliding your panties down your smooth legs.
“want you in my mouth before we fuck”
Your breath hitches when his heavy lidded eyes snap down to your nakedness, and he closes his eyes to groan. 
"shit" He curses, parts your legs open, and dives straight between your legs, not even bothering to take off your panties all the way off as it hangs on your ankle obscenely. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth,and you moan so loudly it has you slapping your palm over your own. The overwhelming sensation makes your eyes roll back, only ever feeling your own fingers down there, it's a heady feeling to feel someone else.
 
You tangle your fingers in his hairs, tugging harshly when he slurps your wetness, parting your pussy open with his fingers,and thrusting his tongue inside your virgin hole,running it all over your vulva like a starved man.
 
You thrash in his hold, a shiver running down your spine when his nose bumps your clit, and he starts applying pressure, rubbing it back and forth. The obscene squelch that you can hear from between your legs has your face burning, you can't believe how wet you are. You aren't ready for the sudden feeling of his finger sliding inside your pussy, and you scream. Heeseung looks up at you from between your legs, and increases his movement, eyes dark as they watch you lose yourself to pleasure. 
"How does that feel? " He asks, voice so deep it makes your pussy throb. 
You moan, and nod your head rapidly "s-so good" you whimper when he dives down to suck on your clit again. The combined feeling of his fingers and mouth pushes you closer to your orgasm. 
"Yeah baby? Your pussy's so tight, can't wait to get in there, wanna feel good too" He groans, thrusting a second finger inside your warm cavity, and probing inside your gummy walls in come hither motion that makes you mewl. 
"So wet" He mumbles, licking into your pussy again. And God do you taste addicting, heeseung can spend the whole day buried in between your legs if you would give him a chance. The way your walls flutter around his fingers has him leaking copious amount of precum in his jeans, and he has never been so turned on before. 
"pleasee" You moan, and he's crawling up to you again, his lips capturing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. He fucks you with his fingers rapidly, lust filled eyes watching in rapt attention at how your eyes flutter shut, and your body arches into him, so ready to getting lost in pleasure. 
He curses under his breath as he watches how you grind your hips on his fingers, trying to chase the pleasure they’re giving you
"yeah? Gonna cum and make a mess baby? " He asks into your mouth, swallowing your moan, and licking the drool escaping your lips. 
You nod your head and dig your nails into his neck, holding onto him for your life. Heeseung ruts his hard on against your thigh as he watches you come undone on his fingers alone, moaning his name unintelligibly. Watching you cum is the hottest thing he’s ever seen, he decides.
"Cum on me, make yourself feel good" he sighs, the pleasure filled expression on your face has him close to cumming untouched. You gyrate your hips while his fingers get covered in your juices, drenching his palm as he helps you ride out your orgasm. You sigh out in relief, coming down from your high, your hold loosens on his neck and you squirm while you watch him sucking his fingers, tasting your juices. It's so hot, you don't even realize when you lean in. His lips meet yours and you moan upon tasting your cum, sucking on his tongue like he sucks yours. 
"Made you feel so good yeah?" He asks, his voice hoarse in desire, and you nod, pushing yourself into him again. He wraps his arms around your body, and unhooks your bra, finally taking it off of your body, and discarding it somewhere. 
"My turn" He grunts. 
You rub your thighs together while he unbuckles his belt, ogling your naked body like a pervert. Your eyes widen when he pulls his boxers down unceremoniously, just enough to let his dick flop out. 
It's bigger in person,even bigger than you remember while touching him and you whine. There's no way that can fit inside you. His eyes darken as he strokes his cock, fisting it to the sight of your naked body lying so helplessly, ready for the taking. And God does he want to take you. 
If you weren't a virgin, he would have been pounding your hole by now, but as much as he's impatient, he wants to make this experience good for you too.
You're sucking on your finger again, your eyes fixed on how he moves his palm up and down his shaft, the real life version makes you drip more than the video he sent did. 
Heeseung hovers over your body again, and grabs your hand, pulling out your finger from your mouth. "No hiding your sounds from me, wanna hear you loud and clear while I fuck you stupid" He growls, and you squirm under his gaze. 
You yelp when you feel him running his dickhead against your slick pussy, wetting it in your juices for a smooth slide. You dig your nails into his shoulders, staring up at him with your big doe eyes as you utter the words which make Heeseung finally snap.
"p-please don't make it hurt" your voice is the sweetest thing he's ever heard, and God, does he want to hurt you. He wants to roughly push himself inside till there's nothing but tears of pain and pleasure running down your pretty face. He wants to make you scream, and show you how pain only heightens the pleasure. 
You're so naive, looking up at him, trusting him, but heeseung is lost in his dark desires and pushes in without a warning. You turn him on so badly.  You scream at the way his length bullies itself inside your tight hole, scraping against your walls and your body feels like it's being split in half. Tears blur your vision and you push against his chest, sobbing through the pain that makes you want to run away. It's too much. 
"h-hurts please-oh-" his hips push inside and then he's balls deep into you, groaning in satisfaction while you scream again. The feeling of your hymen tearing apart makes you sob uncontrollably, and you try to angle your hips away from him. He doesn’t fit, he’s gonna tear you apart.
Heeseung holds your hips in his bruising grip, and starts moving in and out. He's too damn turned on to think about anything else other than how good your virgin pussy feels around his dick.  "Stay still baby, let me feel good" He grunts, pulling out of your hole to the hilt, and then pushing inside again. In and out. In and out. His hot pants fall onto your wet cheeks. Heeseung reaches down to rub on your clit, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. It feels more pleasurable for him when you start getting impossibly wet.   Soon enough, Your pain filled sobs start to subside, and pleasure filled sobs start to leave your lips instead. 
That's when he starts fucking in earnest. Once he hears you moan in pleasure, heeseung lets go of all his inhibitions, and straight up pounds into you. 
"Fuck yeah baby, so fucking tight for me" he groans, snapping his hips against you at a rapid pace. His balls smack against your ass every time he pushes in, and the skin slapping sounds make your head throb in pleasure.
You didn't know sex could feel so good.   "Heeseung please, oh my god" You moan when his dick rubs against your sweet spot, his hot pants fall on your mouth while he slots his lips against yours in imitation of a kiss
"Yeah? Just like that?" He asks, his own eyes rolling back when you clench around him. So deliciously tight.
The slide inside is so deep and so wet, it makes his hips pick up speed. 
"Warm little cunt, waited so long to get inside" he groans, biting on your lower lip, and grinding his pelvis against yours. 
The sheer ecstasy running through your veins at the way his cock makes out with your cervix, makes you thrust up your hips against him. You buck into his hold, pressing your body closer, rubbing your chest against his clothed one. It's then that you realize that he's still wearing clothes. 
Heeseung curses under his breath when you whine and tug at his shirt.
"You wanna feel me naked baby?" he asks, running his hands over your curves as he pounds into your warm hole. It's too good to stop. 
You nod and tug on his shirt again, trying to get closer to him.
"Fuck" Heeseung mutters, and sits back on his hunches, his hips still grind into you while he strips himself off of his clothes. He pulls himself out of you for a split second to discard his jeans and boxers on the floor, then he's thrusting into you again. 
"This is so much fucking better" He moans, loving how your naked body arches into his own, rubbing yourself against him so desperately. The delicious friction of your grinding sexes makes you both delirious in pleasure. Heeseung digs his fingers into the fat of your waist, and buries his face inside the crook of your neck, kissing and moaning along it while his thrusts become merciless. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and throw your head back, exposing more skin for him to dig his teeth into.  The obscene way your naked bodies buck and thrust against each other to reach pleasure high is a sight to behold. The skin slapping, and wet squelching sounds fill up the space between your heated bodies, and you never want this feeling to stop. 
"tight fucking cunt, so good, wanna keep fucking till my dick aches" His filthy words travel deep inside your core, and warmth spreads inside your womb, the knot starting to form in your stomach. 
"oh my god" You moan when he slows his hips into a slow grind, hitting all the right spots inside your swollen pussy. 
"Yeah? fuck yourself on my dick like a slut, grind your virgin little pussy on my meat" He growls, coming up to capture your lips in his own, groaning into your mouth when you dig your nails painfully inside his flesh, enough to draw blood. 
The sweat drips down your bodies, as you rut against each other in pure pleasure. You moan into heeseungs mouth as he languidly licks against your open cavity, sucking on your tongue, and exchanging spit. 
The pace of his thrusts fasten, and he pounds you into the couch, fucking into you like his life depends on it. Your words are reduced to mere moans and babbles, your tongue lolling out at how good he feels.
"gonna cum inside this cunt baby, gonna let me fill you up right? flood your insides with my fuck cream?" You nod in a lust filled haze, and heeseung licks the saliva that pools in the corner of your mouth.
" Yeah? Real deep baby? Fuck-so fucking good Jesus" He growls, his spit and sweat falling into your mouth as he starts rutting into you like an animal. He can feel himself getting closer. the knot in your stomach snaps when he presses his palm into your lower stomach to trace his outline. You gasp into his mouth, and your body convulses uncontrollably.
"Fuck yeah, god you're gonna make me cum, god im- his hips grind a few times inside your pussy, and then he's stilling inside of you, the tight clench of your pussy pushing him over the edge, shooting his thick cum inside your womb. 
It feels so good that Heeseung keeps moving inside you till you whine and cry out in overstimulation. You're grateful when he listens, and pulls out, but the very next second, he's getting down there and burying his face between your legs again, slurping your combined juices from your pussy. Your toes curl at the feeling, and you can't help but open your mouth when he comes up to slot his cum filled one against yours. It's nasty, but you can't stop licking into him, tasting your mixed release together. 
"Fuck, you're nasty" He chuckles, finally turning your body around, and wrapping you into his embrace. 
For the first time in your life, you fall asleep nuzzled into a warm and comforting body against you.
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Heeseung has always prided himself in the fact that he doesn’t get attached to people easily, doesn’t feel certain emotions until he allows himself to. He’s not a good person, he’s always known this, that’s the reason why he has always kept himself at a distance.
Watching. Observing.
Nothing in his life is unpredictable, heeseung works according to the plan, always predicting and preparing himself for situations that can happen. That’s just how he operates.
Watching. Observing. Executing.
You, however, caught him off guard. Heeseung was never ready for you to barge in his life the way that you did.
You think you know him from third semester but heeseung knows you from way before that. The first time he’d seen you was on the very first day of college, waiting right outside the registrar office, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you stepped aside for people to pass.
There was something about you that stuck with Heeseung. He couldn't figure out what it was no matter how much he thought about it but you soon became a constant itch at the back of his mind.
It wasn't like you were strikingly pretty. Heeseung had been surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Almost desensitized to extravagant beauty. It all seemed vague to him.
You were not extraordinarily pretty, no.
But you were enchanting. it was the type of pretty that stuck with you, that stayed with you, the type of pretty that might not capture your attention in the first glance but the second or third glance might have you hooked; the type of pretty that was made up of hesitant smiles and solemn gazes and fidgeting hands.
Heeseung watched you from afar for a long time, observing, learning. That was until he saw an opportunity to be in the same lecture as you. That’s when he started executing.
And then you made him fail. At his own game.
Heeseung’s sickness identified and craved yours, rendering him powerless when he realized that maybe,you were even sicker than him, a thousand times more depraved. You just didn’t know it yet.
He didn’t realize when you became the very thing he breathes, carving yourself a home inside the darkest parts of his heart.
Ever since he fucked you into your sheets, his craving for you has increased tenfold. He is way past pretending that you are some stupid bet, or a mere name on the list. Seeing you vulnerable, and yet so strong , made something shift in him. He's always been sick in desire for you, but over the past few months, you have managed to infiltrate your way inside his brain. 
"How's the mission " Cherries to pop" going for you man?" Jake's voice interrupts his thoughts, and he doesn't have to think twice about his answer, eyes fixated on your slumped figure as he replies
"Take her off the list, I won" 
Numerous gasps are heard around him, sunghoon laughs in shock, eyes meeting Jake's in disbelief "you can't be serious, was she any good? " He asks, nervousness creeping in his voice, because heeseung does look serious. 
Heeseung turns his eyes towards sunghoon, face void of any recognizable emotion
"the bet's over. I don't want to talk about it, but if I see any of you fuckers around her after this, it's going to get bloody " He warns, sweeping his eyes over the shocked faces of the boys around him. And with that, you are taken off the list forever. 
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You hear the whispers, you aren't deaf, but something inside you disassociated when you woke up in the evening after losing your virginity. Cold and alone. 
Heeseung had cleaned your body and clothed it before he left, but not having him near stung more than you ever thought it would. It was to be expected tho, wasn’t it? He got what he wanted, there was no reason to stay.
"can't believe heeseung really did it"
"Man, she doesn't look like she must have been a good fuck"
"A win is a win"
You don't dare look up the entire day, ignoring all the folded papers that fall beside your leg. Curiosity doesn't get the better of you, and you don't pick them up to read what's inside. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. All this buzz will die down in a week, and you will finally resort back to the dark corners, and shadows where people will no longer look at you, just past you. 
You don't dread the reality of your situation anymore, a small sigh leaving your lips as you gather your stuff, and walk past the inquisitive stares. 
Settling down at the farthest seat in the cafeteria gives you a sense of relief. This seat has been your safe space through all ups and down. The only constant in the chaos of your existence.
You're busy swirling your food around the plate when a sudden quiet falls over the cafeteria. All the chitter chatter and noise dies down. It's almost eerie. Eerie enough to finally make you look up to see what's wrong. Your eyes turn towards the entrance as you follow everyone's collective gaze, and what you see makes your heart plummet in your stomach.
It's Jay. But he's wearing a cap, his head slumped down as he makes his way towards his seat with an obvious limp, but it doesn't hide the black and blue wound blossoming around his left eye, several deep cuts on his lower lip, and scratches on his cheek. The high neck he's wearing sticks out like a sore thumb in mid July, and you wonder if there's more that he's trying to hide. You don't have to worry about facing him, looks like he's not going to be looking up anytime soon. 
Realization sets inside your throat like a lump, and you instinctively snap your gaze towards heeseung's table. His eyes are already on you when you find him. They're dark, and tender, if that's even possible. You feel like you're drowning in them. Your throat feels full, and your eyes burn the more that you look at him, and you can't help but follow your instinct to get out of here as soon as possible. It's too much. This sudden influx of emotion is too much for you. 
Murmurs follow your leave, but you don't stay behind to hear or care. Your steps are heavy and purposeful as you stride forward, away from everyone and everything. This feels like a fever dream. Why the fuck would Heeseung do that? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even find out?
But you know exactly how he found out. The location that you shared. It isn’t rocket science to figure out who lives nearby. Of course he knows. What confuses you is the fact that he cared enough to look it up and avenge you in his own sick way.Why does he even care?
You can feel a breakdown coming, and so without wasting time, you rush home in a frenzy. By the time you reach your threshold, your throat hurts, the tonsils burning in pain. Your body is begging for you to let it out, but you're a slave to your habits. Holding everything inside until it chokes your airway. 
You're tapping your leg frantically as you stir a spoon haphazardly in your coffee cup, swallowing down copious amounts of caffeine to push back the inevitable. You hate breakdowns, hate feeling so out of control and vulnerable. It shatters your facade, makes you come face to face with the pretty lies that you tell yourself. 
"It's going to be fine, you're fine"
But are you? 
A loud honking in your front yard makes you drop your cup, spilling all of its contents on your shoes, jumping back as you get startled out of your mind. 
Who the fuck?
You step over the mess and make your way to your front door, watching in disbelief as Heeseung's car idles in front of you. He's looking right at you from his window, and you wonder what is it about his eyes. There's something about his eyes and the way he looks at you. It makes you feel naked. Body and soul. It seems like he looks right through you, and you don't know if you like that. 
Your feet move on their own and he doesn’t even have to say anything. In no time, you find yourself sitting inside his car, your back against the expensive leather seats, while you play with the stray threads of your blouse. 
"What do you want now?" you ask, deciding to break the silence. It's only fair to stop beating around the bush and get this over with. Whatever this is.
"You" He answers almost immediately, making you scoff. You don't look at him but you can feel his gaze burning into you. 
"I'm not a virgin anymore Heeseung, you won, there’s nothing more that I can offer you" Your voice feels scratchy against your throat, and you wonder if it's because of the tears you keep pushing back. 
There's a heavy pause of silence, and then you hear him chuckle, almost in pity and contempt. 
"You don't get it do you?" He asks, voice laced with disbelief. 
When you don't look up, and don't respond, he laughs hollowly. 
"Ask me why I did that" He says, his tone a tad bit deeper now. It's a demand. "Ask me why I smashed pretty boy's face in" 
You swallow the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Not now please. 
"Why" you whisper ask, almost inaudible if it wasn't for the pin drop silence in the car.
"because it gave me a sick satisfaction to see him in pain. I'm not sorry about how your old man ended up either. If I could, I would shoot both of their skulls open for putting their hands on you"
The anger and pure hatred in his voice makes a sob to rip through your chest, eyes finally snapping up to meet his. They're dark in anger, and disdain, and you wonder why he cares so much. You look over to his wounded knuckles which are turning white due to how tightly he’s gripping onto the steering wheel. The sight of his anger mirroring your own ignites a spark of recognition deep within you. The raw intensity of emotion emanating from Heeseung stirs something inside your vacant soul. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, you feel seen. Validated. All this time, you had told yourself that you got what you deserve. You were fundamentally flawed, and all of this pain was your own fault.You never allowed yourself to be angry, burying the rage beneath your stoic facade, but seeing Heeseung angry for you makes your own walls crumble one by one.
"I want to cut open anyone who's ever hurt you baby, I want to be the only one who gets to hurt you" He declares.
You gape at him while tears run down the slope of your cheeks
"that's-that's not normal" you whisper, but his expressions don't crack, eyes wide and pupils dilated. In this moment, he looks insane, and it scares you how much you want to get lost in him.
"You don't need normal" he replies. 
His words hit heavy and get stuck inside your throat. You look away and wipe your tears, swallowing another bout of sobs threatening to escape your chest. The walls are cracking, the sound of them breaking and destructing can be heard as you let his words sink in. 
"Quit your part time job and let me take care of you. Your every need, I'll satisfy it. You won't even have to ask me for it and it will be done" He says, leaning forward, as if trying to make you see the reason in what he's saying.
You shake your head, eyes brimming with anger and tears as you stare right into his own.
"I don't need you to take care of me. I've always done it myself and I have managed to do it just fine, I don’t need you" you seethe, feeling rage at his implication that you can't hold your own. 
His expressions soften as he runs his eyes over your angry tears, his hand coming up to wipe them with his thumb. It’s pathetic how this small caress makes you lean into his touch. 
"No you don't. But I need you. I need to take care of you. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don't" He confesses. 
More tears run down your cheeks as sobs rip through your chest, and he continues to caress your face. 
"Is this a declaration of love?" you grouch through your physical grief, watching how his eyes gaze into yours, as if he wasn't expecting you to ask him that. 
"Does it have to be? I promise to keep you happy and protect you from all harm, should that not be enough?" 
You stare into his orbs and your heart skips a beat at the raw vulnerability you find there. He's just as scared as you, if not more. Turns out, you aren't the only one who is bad at confronting feelings. 
You crawl your way onto his lap, and he instantly wraps his arms around you, like you belong there. You take his hand into your own and press tender kisses onto his knuckles, and he watches you do it. Then you look up, and smile. That smile seems to be his undoing. Heeseung instantly leans down to kiss you fervently. You tangle your fingers in his hairs, kissing back just as deeply, and he groans into the kiss. The collision of your mouths is desperate, as if trying to convey all that's left unsaid. 
"It's enough" You mumble into his mouth, and he swallows your words greedily. 
1K notes · View notes
winterrrnight · 2 days
Note
Hey can you do after care with rafe? I feel like he would be so sweet and gentle after being so rough and mean!💗
hii nonnie! thank you for your request <3 since I don't write full on smut, this only focuses on the aftercare part!! I also didn't include the rough/mean part cause to be honest that's not my thing! hope you enjoy reading 💗 let me know your thoughts if you feel like 💗
aftercare
PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader
SUMMARY: rafe is a total softie after an intimate night with you.
WARNINGS: allusions to sex but absolutely no sexual content, no allusions to rafe being rough (because I don't write that), a lot of fluff!!
EDITH SPEAKS: since I've been experimenting around a lot with my writing lately, this ask in my inbox really caught my attention so I decided to work on it! please reblog and comment your feedback <3 🏩
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Rafe’s hands clutch onto the ends of the duvet as he pulls them to your neck, covering you under the warm duvet completely as he lies next to you.
“Better?” He asks softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek. You can already feel your eyelids heavy as the tiredness starts to kick in. You softly smile at Rafe and nod your head.
“Yes…” you say softly, and he smiles back at you.
“Okay… do you need anything? Water, tea, maybe something to eat?” He asks gently, moving his hand to brush out any strands of your hair falling in your eyes.
You shake your head, not really feeling like wanting anything. “No, I’m okay,” you say softly, closing your eyes just for a moment, as the warm duvet spreads comfort all throughout you. You can’t help but let out a yawn, bringing a hand to your mouth as you let it out. Rafe only chuckles at that, getting comfortable under the duvet himself.
You are quick to wrap your arms around his shoulders and gently pull him closer to you, letting him rest his head on your chest as you slowly weave your fingers through his hair in sleepy motions, those starting to make him sleepy too. He can’t help but nuzzle against your chest, your body heat along with the warmth of the duvet warming him up quickly.
The moonlight shines in through the pale curtains, and you keep your eyes closed, your fingers gently threading to Rafe’s hair. You momentarily open your eyes to see Rafe looking up, his gaze fixed at nothing particular.
“May I ask what’s on your mind?” You ask softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
He softly smiles when he hears your quiet voice, involuntarily pressing himself closer to you, his arm draped across your waist as his fingers trace gentle shapes at your side.
“Just…” he takes a deep inhale, “how good of a time I had with you tonight,” he whispers. You can’t help but feel a soft ting of a blush on your cheeks, and a smile tugs on your lips.
“I had a great time with you too baby,” you whisper back. “You were… wonderful,”
“I was?” He asks gently, looking up in your eyes. You let your smile widen as you nod.
“Yes, yes you were…” you murmur, leaning down to him to kiss him gently on his lips. It’s a soft peck, and he can’t help but chase your lips, deepening the kiss a bit, his hand coming to rest on your cheek. His thumb gently strokes the soft skin of your cheek, and your fingers remain wounded in his hair, the strands silky against your fingertips.
You smile against his lips as you slowly pull apart, his fingers gently resting on your shoulders as his fingertips circle over the skin, making you sigh softly at the feeling it stimulates.
He tilts his face up to litter light kisses along your cheek, trailing down to your jawline and the side of your neck, whispering sweet little nothings to you, and you find yourself just immersing yourself in the feeling as much as you can, fluttering your eyes closed as the tiredness starts to take over you completely, his presence only elevating the feeling of comfort in you.
As Rafe notices you’re almost asleep, he smiles softly at the pretty sight in front of him and presses a final kiss to your jaw. “Sleep well baby…” he mutters, snuggling his head against your chest and finding himself falling into a deep slumber too.
↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-
TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @lunalitva @sadfury @shores-kayla @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment @rafesgiirl @theoraekenslover
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starillusion13 · 2 days
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Stay with me
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request: "can you do a yungi x y/n one where they're in college together kinda like a childhood bsf to lovers but poly?"
Pairing: Yunho x reader x Mingi
Genre: Fluff, Friends to lovers, College Au
Warnings: they are caring bestfriends to you, mention of insult/body shaming in public by your family, reader feeling insecure, isolation, hints of skipping meals, childhood love and mention school bully and violence (just few words). Just a cute friendship to love.
W.C: 4.5k
Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. My first Yungi fic😁.
Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity
Now let's take a moment to appreciate my dear friend @dreamsoffanfics Thanks for helping me out and being my proofreader. A dear friend indeed <3.
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"She isn't coming again today..." Yunho said and sat beside his friend. The other glanced at him and looked over at your place beside him where you usually sit.
It's been weeks that you were skipping university classes without any proper reason, just texting them that you are not feeling well or you have some important stuff to do. But not clearly explaining anything — that even you are texting them the next day. They are sick and worried for you as it's normal for your childhood best-friends to be like this.
Whenever they ask you to go to your place, you quickly respond with a negative message that you have somewhere to go or someone to meet.
Nobody knows what's the actual matter with you.
"Do you think we should go over to her place and check on her?" Mingi asked while tapping the pen on the desk.
Yunho nodded before pulling out his phone to check for your message but nothing was there to his disappointment. "I am really worried about her. She has never been like this. I don't know why but after returning from her hometown, she is acting weird."
"Did her parents tell her anything again?" Mingi rested his elbow on the table and leaned to his side.
Yunho made an unsure expression to his question and dropped his shoulders. He shook his head when he remembered the last interaction with you when he met you at the convenience store.
…..
"Y/n, why don't you say no to your parents directly? I'm sure that they won't be denying it."
You sighed and turned towards him before picking up the nearest packet of chips in the basket,"And you think that? You are so wrong, Yuyu. They don't care about my opinions."
"But you can try explaining them. I'm sure they will understand." Yunho placed a milk package in the basket to which you glared at him and he sent you his puppy eyes, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"That's a baby milk product."
"But you are still a baby." He said and held back his laugh.
This was his common teasing with you in every place and anytime you are having any serious conversation with him and whatever, however and whenever you are with him. You would feel relying on him the most. The bestest friend indeed. There’s a continuous warmth radiating from him for which you feel loved and secured. His big frame whenever he engulfs you in a hug, there’s a silent promise to you — that no matter what he would be there for you.
…..
He sighed when he imagined your face – irritated but laughing with him for the last time that day. After that day, you went to your hometown as it was the end of exam season and you didn’t meet your family for a long time. Last break, you were sick and had so many pending projects for several events that you opted for staying back on campus and completing them before it was too late.
It was late afternoon when they both finally had their last class and packed up their bags to leave the university. Anyways, they were not actually planning to stay there though. Mingi texted you a lot of times during the classes but some you ignored and to some, you replied with one word or just some common usual replies.
They both checked the timing and went towards the parking lot. Yunho took out the keys from his jacket’s pocket and Mingi was quick to enter the passenger seat. Both of them were in a hurry. They were eager to meet you. Before starting the engine, Yunho sighed deeply. A look of worry was visible on his face.
“I hope she is fine.”
Mingi nodded and patted his shoulder, “I’m sure, she is.”
…….
“Yah! Min…did you just eat my snacks yesterday?” stomping your feet, you reached the living room and stood in front of said man and glared at him.
He was so into the video game that he didn’t see your anger but just waved his hand and tried to push you aside. You hit his hand and the controller fell from his hold and sulkily he looked at your face.
“I was about to win the game.” He whined and leaned back into the couch.
“And I am about to eat you if you don't give me my snacks back.”
“Which one?” He furrowed his brows and crunched up his nose. “I’m gonna tell Yunho to buy them for you on his way back home.”
“No. Why’ll he buy it? You ate them and it’s your responsibility to buy them. And you know very well which snacks I’m talking about.” You pulled him up and dragged him towards the door, he was whining on his way but you ignored him and gestured to him to hurry up. “Don’t give me faces.” You folded your hands.
“But that store is far away.”
“And you know how to drive.”
……
While driving to your place, they stopped by some places to buy flowers, chocolates, ice cream and your favorite foods. When Yunho took a box of chocolates, he smiled at the thought of your smiling and excited face after receiving it. He puffed his cheeks and grabbed some other things as well.
Similarly, Mingi was smiling all the way when he bought your favorite ice-cream. He knew how you would jump on your feet after seeing it. He couldn't content his own happiness while buying it.
Apart from all these, they still called you to check on you. Yeah, after ignoring a few calls, you finally decided to pick up. The line was silent at first but then they heard shuffle sounds from the other side, Yunho was quick to speak into the call.
“What are you doing, y/n?” His voice was soft yet demanding.
They heard your deep sigh before your voice, “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean by you don’t know?”
“If I was really doing something then I could have told you. I was just laying on my bed and …..thinking.”
Actually, that was the main thing, they wanted to know whether you were at your apartment or not. If they would have asked you directly, then you could have got the hint of them wanting to come over to your place and you would have quickly made up a reason to avoid them.
Why actually were you avoiding them in the first place?
“Okay, then keep laying down and think.”
Yunho glared at Mingi at his weird reply but the latter just blinked at the phone in his hold and at him. They heard your chuckle and a little smile appeared on their faces. Atleast, you laughed— maybe a little.
“Why did you call me? Where are you both?”
“We are–”
Yunho cut Mingi’s answer, “hanging out.”
“Oh…okay. Have fun!” you tried to sound more enthusiastic but they could feel the sadness.
They didn’t drag the conversation because they knew that in a few minutes, they would be at your place and then you couldn’t ignore them or their questions. And this time, they would be surely erasing all your worries and sadness.
.
.
.
Almost after fifteen minutes, you heard your doorbell ring. You groaned at the thought of someone coming to your place at this time and you glared at your bedroom door. You got up from the bed and yawned before stepping in front of the mirror. You made a disgusted face at your reflection and combed your hair with just your fingers.
The bell rang again and you scoffed before mumbling under your breath while making your way towards the main door.
“Let me see whether I look like a human or not or it won't be my fault if you get scared.”
You peeked through the peephole and you were surprised to see your bestfriends standing at your doorstep on the other side. You quickly opened the door and your round eyes were staring at them.
“You both? Here…now?” you asked but slowly moved aside to welcome them inside. Mingi gave you the flowers they bought for you and smiling, you took them. You noticed paper bags in their hand and after closing the door, you followed them to the kitchen when they placed the bags on the kitchen counter. You stood beside Mingi who gave you a bright smile and started taking out the items from the bag. Your eyes were recognizing each little thing was your favorite as if they bought things for a child who was whining for all their favorites.
He grabbed the ice-cream bucket and turned towards you, “This was the last box and I quickly bought it for you. I hope you won't be angry with me again if I ever eat your snacks.” he took the flowers from your hand and tugged them in the vase on the counter top.
“Mingi..” You groaned but quickly took the tub from his hand. You wasted no time and opened the lid. You watched Yunho place some things inside your refrigerator but he approached you with a red box in his hand. You furrowed your brows when he placed it in your free hand.
“Chocolates for my cutie.”
When you noticed the ribbon on top of the box, your eyes went wide, “Don't tell me you went to that store to buy this. This is so expensive.”
“But you are more expensive.” He said and raised a brow at you, challenging.
You laughed at his antics and shook your head, “You both are spoiling me too much.”
“Of course. We love to spoil you.” Mingi said with a smug look.
Your couch had a lot of clothes and books so you asked them to follow you to your bedroom. They both were quick to trail behind like lost puppies but they exchanged looks because they both were hesitant to ask you about the time after returning from your hometown.
Entering your bedroom, they found out that it looked like as if some disaster happened over there. You were never that messy and disorganized. You rolled your eyes at the mess but offered them the free space around the bed.
You scooted towards the headboard and they placed themselves close to you. You offered some chocolates to both of them and you scooped a spoon full of ice cream and put it in your mouth.
“This will always be my favorite.” You offered two separate spoons to them and extended your hand so that they could eat the ice cream. They took small bites.
“So why are you here suddenly? You didn’t even inform me before coming.”
“Because you wouldn’t have allowed us to come here like other days.” Mingi muttered and kept staring at you. Hearing those words from him, you avoided his eyes at any cost and looked down at your lap. You were guilty but also the reasons for which you were avoiding them were running across your mind.
You bit your lip and wanted to disappear from their gazes. But Yunho scooted closer to you. You felt his knees touching yours and his warm hands grabbed your chin to make you look at him.
“Look at me, Y/n. What’s the matter?”
You avoided his gaze but only to make eye contact with Mingi. You closed your eyes and cursed yourself for behaving like this. But no matter how you feel like running away from them, you still want to stay close. You want to hear their soothing voices talking to you. Spend time with them.
“Y/n…” Mingi pronounced your name softly.
You took a deep breath before looking at him and then to Yunho. Your eyes wandered around his face. A perfect, sweet, soft and confident person in front of you. Excellent in every aspect. Good looking, handsome and tall just like Mingi but who is more intimidating than him.
Yunho’s eyes wandered around your face, he was searching for your discomfort, your sadness and what was the reason you were ignoring him and his friend.
“Am I really not good?” You asked him in a hushed voice. Your shaky pupils and lips between your teeth was making him hesitant.
Why was he feeling that? Is he worried or angry? Angry with you? Because you ignored him all these last days?
“Who said that? You are the best.” Mingi rubbed your back and your body shivered under his touch. Yunho cupped your face in his palms and stared at you, urging you to speak more, “Tell us please. Why were you avoiding us?”
“I didn’t avoid you. I was thinking…”
“You think a lot. What were you even thinking?” His thumbs caressed your cheeks, slightly brushing your lips. Your tears were lining your eyes. You didn’t mind crying in front of them, you have cried before since middle school until now, you have cried to both of them but they never judged you.
But his heart was aching to see you like that, so vulnerable in his hold. You held his wrists tightly when he gave you a small smile.
“I’m feeling insecure lately. Don’t feel like doing anything.”
“Why?”
“This break, I went to a family function with my parents and all my other cousins were present there too.”
Both of them nodded and let you continue. You bit your lower lip and stuck it between your lips.
“They pointed out to me how I have gained weight and also I’m just an average student in my university unlike others there. They were all too pretty and all had boyfriends so they called me the ugly one. Maybe, I am really how they see me.”
“No Y/n, you are not. Don’t take those words to heart. Ignore them.”
“But I can’t, Mingi. Those words are hitting me as if I can still hear them telling me those things repeatedly. You know what's worse about this. My mom laughed with them, she was supporting their accusations.”
“I never liked your mom.”
You turned to Yunho when he said that and you raised your brows, “She didn’t like you either. She always thought that you were a bad influence on me. But she just let me be friends with you only because you are rich.” Then again you turned towards Mingi, “About you, she thought you were some sort of rebellious kid like a gangster because she always saw teachers complaining to your parents regarding your fights.”
“It’s your fault. You are the one who threatened me not to tell your mom that those students were disturbing you so when they didn't stop. I knew I had to beat them.” Mingi smiled after recalling those beautiful memories.
He added, “And that’s how we became friends. Remember?” You nodded while remembering those happy days. Yunho was holding your hands in his and Mingi patted your head, “We missed you these days. You were not talking with us.”
“I was searching for a boyfriend.”
“Really?” He asked you and hesitantly looked between Mingi and you, you felt him squeezing your hands. You nodded but sighed again, “Kidding. I was…isolating myself.”
“Why am I like this?” You asked with a whisper.
“But who would ever love to have an ugly girl like me as their girlfriend?”
“Like what sweetie?” Yunho questioned. ”And don’t even question yourself. You are perfect.”
You took a few seconds, collecting your thoughts. Yunho and Mingi wait patiently, Yunho running a soft hand through your hair and with his other one entangling his fingers with you. You inhaled softly and lifted your head up to make eye contact with both of them. Your mind was hazy with lots of thoughts.
“I feel so pathetic. I feel like I can’t ever do anything correctly. Why do I feel like this? I get overwhelmed by little work and this college stuff. I can’t handle the gossip about me and I feel like I fail at everything. It’s just… too much.” A tear slid down your cheeks and Yunho looked at you with eyes that held so many emotions.
He would do absolutely anything for you, if only it meant it would guarantee your happiness. Mingi was the same, he would again beat anyone for you. He would go to any extreme end just to ensure your well being and that you are smiling.
After all, Mingi first fell for you on the day when he first beat a boy who was making fun of you in front of the whole class. You were crying and he had enough, so he punched the guy across his cheek but the way you stared at him after that, even when he was getting scolded from the teacher, that's when he couldn’t help but smile at you and you gave your bright and wide smile.
That smile did something to him.
He fell in love with you. But you both were just kids.
So, you both became best friends.
Yunho was a transfer student who was a shy and quiet one in the beginning. And somehow they both were placed at the same bench, they quickly became friends. He joined the dance club after exactly one year of friendship with Mingi. Yunho was quick to become a social butterfly. He knew everyone around the school, mostly because of his dance club membership.
But there was this one thing. Even though he got compliments from others, he always wanted to hear your comments on his dance moves and if you ever said just a word like ‘good’, he would smile foolishly as if he achieved something. After every performance, he would search for you in the audience and could find you clapping excitedly at him with Mingi beside you.
You didn't know but whenever you were not around both of them their main topic was about you. They used to talk about you with admiration and love towards you. This was the main reason for them to become friends. And they followed you to the same university.
And they still think about you like that everyday.
“Oh Y/n, you’re not pathetic. Not at all. Everyone has different capabilities, and that’s completely fine. You have so many talents, so many amazing people around you who appreciate you. And you are so beautiful. You’re our girl aren’t you? The only one for us.” Yunho looked at you expectantly with an adoration in his eyes.
There was a look of worry on their faces similar to whenever you felt sick and he would rush to your place to take care of you and soon after Mingi comes with medicines and food.
You looked away, not meeting his eyes but Mingi caught your eyes and raised a brow. You quickly replied, “Yes, yes I am.”
His breath hitched when you said those words while staring at him. Both of their hearts felt warm but there was something more, they wanted to say. Something that they think of now is the right time. Maybe…there's also uncertainty in the air.
He beamed with delight. “That’s right baby, you’re our girl, and always will be.” Mingi added to his friend's words, ”We’re here to take care of you. I know things are hard, but I will do whatever I can to make it easier for you.” Your heart aches from the care you’re being shown. You love your bestfriends so much.
You hold so much love and respect for them that you’re not sure how to even contain it. You just feel like exploding with affection. When you again felt like crying on the thought, Mingi pushed a spoon full of ice cream in your mouth, “The ice cream is melting like you.”
“Mingi…” you whined with teary eyes. They both laughed at you when you snatched the tub from him and placed it on your lap.
“Y/n, can I ask you something? Please don’t hate me or him after this. But I really want to tell you this. Can I?” He asked.
“Of course, Yuyu. you can tell me anything.” Mingi wiped your tears and you smiled towards him before turning your whole attention on Yunho. Your eyes eagerly waited for him to say whatever he wanted and he glanced at Mingi who nodded and looked back at you. Yunho again held your hands, squeezed them a little and brought them to his lips. These sweet gestures were common to you from him but you felt so nervous this time. Your heart beat increased with every second.
Is he going to end your friendship after this? Are they tired of your dramatic breakdowns?
“Will you be our girl, Y/n?”
You blinked at him and looked at them confused, “Am I not already?”
Mingi chuckled, “Not that silly. Will you be our girl? Our girlfriend?......Please.” he whispered the last part.
For a moment, you thought that they were joking but when you found them staring at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.
“Are you joking?”
“No…”
You quickly turned around and hugged Mingi, “Please tell me. This is not a joke.”
“It’s not.”
“Then, am I dreaming?”
“No silly, you are not.”
You raised your head from his shoulder, he was still moving his hands up and down your back, “Yunho calls me sweetie and you call me silly. This is not fair.”
And here you go.
Mingi cupped your face in his hand and pressed a soft kiss in the middle of your forehead and smiled dearly at you, “You are my silly girl. My silly…only mine.”
Yunho rolled his eyes, “Don't gatekeeper her to yourself. We agreed to mutual this between us. I said ‘our’ specifically but you are saying only yours.”
You looked between both of them and licked your lips before muttering slowly, “Are you pitying me?”
“Y/n…” Yunho called your name with love and held your hands before shaking his head, “we all are different in our own ways. And you are perfect for us. We have seen the imperfect you…the real you. We have seen the ugly versions of you and also the pretty versions of you. But we loved the unfiltered version. The version which felt like you were mine. You are mine.”
“Why do I feel like you are calling me ugly but in a sweet way?”
“Maybe I am.”
“Yuyu…” You hit his arm and continued, “I will ask Mingi to beat you.”
He scoffed, “He can't because he is too weak.”
The latter laughed when you stuck out a tongue at his friend.
“But……isn’t it wrong for both of you to love me? What will others think?”
“I don’t care about others. Are you uncomfortable with this? Say it, Y/n. Are you?”
You shook your head when Mingi turned your face to him, “We want to hear you. Say it please.”
“No. I’m not. I’m happy……I like both of you.” You muttered under your breath.
“What? I can’t hear you. Did you hear something, Yunho?” Mingi creased his forehead and asked his friend who pulled you on his lap and leaned your back on his chest and held both of your hands in front and rocked you in his hold. “No, Mingi I didn’t hear anything.”
“Yeah. because I didn't say anything.”
They both started laughing loudly when they saw you shyly looking down and Yunho rested his chin on top of your head, “But I love my sweet girl the most.” he placed a kiss and softly confessed, “I love you, Y/n.”
You held his hand and played with his fingers. You felt him nuzzling into your hair when you closed your eyes and smiled, “I love you too, Yunho.”
Mingi scooted closer, sitting in front of you he cupped your face and you quickly looked at his face expectantly when he confessed, “I love my silly girl. I love you so much, Y/n.”
“And I hate my snacks thief. I love you toooooo, Mingi.”
He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and nose, filled with overwhelming love and care.
“Now come on, Y/n. I know you aren’t eating properly these days. So let’s eat the food we bought for you earlier.”
“ I don’t want to eat. I’m not hungry.” You smiled brightly and looked at them with a fake pout.“But thank you for all the love and care. I’m so full with it.”
“Uh uh, don’t give me that look. You’re eating, and that’s the end of this conversation.” He said in a stern voice before standing up. You crawled away from him when Mingi caught you in his arms and stood up holding you bridal style and heading to the kitchen, trailing behind Yunho who was singing your favorite song.
Mingi placed you at the table, letting you watch the other one prepare plates. You were swinging your legs back and forth, already feeling so much better and humming the song with him. Mingi went back into the bedroom and came back with the ice cream tub to put into the fridge and sat next to you. He joked and sometimes said some nonsense to make you laugh and you giggled uncontrollably.
He could see the little you laughing with him in the classroom.
“You are finally mine, Y/n. The girl I adored and loved for all these years. The girl whose smile I love the most is smiling at me and sitting with me not as a friend but as my girlfriend.” He held your hand and kissed your knuckles.
“I’m so happy that my bestfriend is my boyfriend and you are the one who can only annoy me and steal my snacks. Oh wait! You have to buy me more snacks now or I am breaking up with you.” You faked a shocked expression.
“Not sorry to disturb you but she is our girlfriend. My best supporter. Here comes the food.” Yunho swirled on his feet and placed the food dramatically on the table, having the silliest look on his face.
You screeched with laughter. “Yunho, my jealous baby.” He sat across from you and pushed the plates towards you both.
“Oh? Now I’m your baby. Last time I checked it was you who bought baby milk products. ” He grabbed his fork and pointed at you with squinted eyes as if he’s in deep thought. You let out a scoff at his antics and he raises an eyebrow at you, “I didn't. You were annoying me.”
“Oh…okay..now let’s talk less and eat more..”
You excitedly nodded and dug into the food. Their eyes followed your actions and they shared looks between them with little smiles appearing on their faces. They nodded towards each other and started eating the food with you.
And they promised to themselves that no matter what the situation is, they will always stay by your side. They still kept the friendship letter from you which you gave them for the first time during Christmas and they would always fulfill your wish.
‘Stay with me……always.’
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Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg
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201 notes · View notes
little-diable · 2 days
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Too Sweet - Dean Winchester (smut)
Of course I had to write something with one of Hozier's new songs. We aren't surprised, are we? Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: Dean and the reader are stuck in a back-and-forth they can't escape from, until his jealousy manages to push her away from him. But Dean won't let her go, he just won't.
Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (f), piv, some jealousy/possessiveness, quite fluffy
Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (2.3k words)
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It can't be said I'm an early bird, it’s 10 o'clock before I say a word, baby, I can never tell, how do you sleep so well?
“Dean, c’mon! We have to go.” (Y/n)’s voice echoed through the Bunker, hands pressed to her sides as she called for the older Winchester brother. Annoyance was flushing through her system, already fed up with Dean not managing to get up on time, already fed up with how he went against everything she told him. “If you don’t get up, I’ll kill you in your–”
The door to his room was pushed open before (y/n) could finish her sentence, eyes staring at Dean. He wore his signature smirk, arms crossed in front of his chest to study her as he leaned against the door frame. 
“You will kill me where?” His voice still had the morning rasp to it that left her thighs trembling, unable to say something as Dean reached for her, pulling (y/n) flush against him. Her breath hitched in her chest, her heart pounding against her ribcage as if she had just finished fighting a supernatural being. “Speak when you’re asked to.”
“Fuck you!” She ripped herself free as Dean’s loud laughter clawed through him, high on the feeling of (y/n) pressed against him. Heat flushed through her as she turned from him, putting some distance between her and Dean before he could taunt her some more. 
For years, the two had been stuck in the same circle, a back and forth that never crossed any lines, just filled with teasing, bickering, and some unspoken heartbreak whenever one of them took somebody else to bed. A circle both desperately wanted to escape from, a circle both hated more than words could express, a circle neither of them managed to speak of to the other.
……
You keep tellin' me to live right, to go to bed before th​​e daylight, but then you wake up for the sunrise, you know you don't gotta pretend
She had her eyes focused on Dean, how he was leaning against the bar with a beer in his hand, with his eyes focused on the blonde woman standing close to him. Anger was flushing through (y/n)’s veins, wondering if he simply wanted to taint her, to annoy her some more after a day filled with bickering, or if he was genuinely interested in the woman who looked like all others he had chatted up in the past weeks. 
“You look lonely.” A voice spoke up, forcing her out of her thoughts. (Y/n)’s gaze found the dark eyes of a man standing close to her. For a second, she wanted to push him away, to tell him to leave her alone, but knowing that she was desperate for any kind of distraction guided her words right out of her mouth. 
“Seems like it.” He sat down next to her, and let his eyes wander over her features, while (y/n) managed to look back at Dean once again. She almost choked on her sip of beer as she found him staring at her from the bar, lips pulled into a thin line, jaw muscles ticking in anger. “What’s your name?”
“Mike, and yours?” A smile began to widen on (y/n)’s lips, urged on by the feeling of Dean’s intense gaze, knowing that he now felt the same annoyance she had felt only moments ago. (Y/n) murmured her name, but no further word managed to leave her. 
She felt him before she saw him, with goosebumps rising on her skin, with her breaths growing shallow, with her mind and her heart racing. Dean came to a halt next to (y/n), staring at Mike before his dark green eyes found hers. Without speaking another word, he cupped her cheek, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. 
The kiss was over before she could begin to freak out, not sparing Mike, who left the two without another word, a thought. Neither Dean nor (y/n) spoke up, wide eyes staring at one another as both began to realise that they had just shared their first kiss. 
“What the fuck, Dean?” She gave him a push away, reached for her jacket and pushed past Dean before he could say something. For years she had waited for a kiss, needing to feel his lips pressed against hers, imagining feeling him close. But now, as it had happened because Dean had tried to prove something to himself and perhaps to her, she couldn’t find any enjoyment in it.
The cold night clashed against her warm face, she tried to blink her angry tears away as he called her name, catching up with (y/n) within seconds. Dean’s hand clamped down on her wrist, forcing (y/n) to a sudden halt.
“How dare you?” (Y/n) spat her words as she ripped her hand from Dean's grasp, wrapping her arms around her middle as if she were hugging herself. There was something swimming in his pupils, something that tightened her throat, that made her mouth feel dry. 
“Why are you so angry?” A scoff clawed through her, a sound so angry that Dean was close to taking a step away from her, close to flinching. For a few moments, all they did was stare at one another, eyes not daring to break contact, even as her tears resurfaced, blurring (y/n)’s vision. 
“For years I wait for you to kiss me. For years I had to watch you chat up some women who weren't me. And then you kiss me to prove some fucked up point? You kiss me to push away a man who showed some form of interest in me. And for what? For what Dean?” Her words worked like a slap, forcing him to quiet down. (Y/n) turned from him again, she began walking, took about five steps before she came to another halt. “I don’t want to see you again for a while, you can work the case on your own.” 
And for the first time since knowing Dean, she hoped that he’d chase her, that he’d force her to give in. But he didn’t, all he did was stare at her, and watch her leave. 
……
I think I'll take my whiskey neat, my coffee black, and my bed at three, you're too sweet for me
“(Y/n)?” Dean’s voice echoed through the evening, forcing her eyes from her book. It had been days since they had returned from their last hunt, forced to share an uncomfortable, quiet drive home. Ever since they had returned, they hadn’t spoken, (y/n) had kept her distance, and Dean had somehow disappeared, no longer crossing paths with her. “Can I come in?”
The hum leaving her urged Dean to step into her room. Their eyes were drawn to one another like magnets, leaving her trembling as she closed her book. Slowly Dean walked towards (y/n), sitting down next to her to pull her against his chest before she could pull away. 
“I have been stupid, so fucking stupid. Ever since I met you, I knew that I needed you, wanted you, but fuck, I knew that it was a dangerous game, and losing you was too high of a price. Seeing you with that guy did something to me, I don’t even know what. I shouldn’t have kissed you, at least not like that.” She shuffled around in Dean’s grasp, cheek no longer pressed to his chest, though eyes now fully directed at his face. “I wanted to give you time, but staying away from you is something I can’t do, something I don’t want to do.” 
“I wish you would have kissed me sooner, or in some other situation. You had no right to act like that when you’re the one talking to other women no matter where we go, Dean.” The hum leaving him drew a sigh from (y/n). Wordlessly she placed her head back down on his chest, letting the seconds blur by as he got lost in his thoughts. 
“Can I have another chance to make things right?” Dean’s hand found her chin, forcing her eyes back towards his again. All she did was nod her head, watching him dip down to softly kiss her. No longer did she feel the same anger, no longer was she annoyed at him for treating her like that, no, she was now solemnly focused on the feeling of his lips moving against hers. 
Dean pulled her into his lap without breaking the kiss, leaving both to hiss as she ground her middle against his. Their hands did impatient work, tugging on one another’s shirts, exposing her bra-clad chest to his wandering eyes. He ripped her bra from her frame, tongue finding her left nipple as his hand worked on the other, high on the sounds wrecking through (y/n). 
“This is even better than I imagined.” She wanted to comment on the fact that he had seemingly imagined a situation like this, she wanted to tell Dean that she had been held hostage by the same thoughts, but she couldn’t. (Y/n) felt his hardening cock press against her core, urged on by her need for friction. “I can’t wait to fuck you, to show you how you’ll always be mine.”
“Forever.” The single word rolling off (y/n)’s tongue left Dean groaning, flipping them around to pull her trousers from her trembling legs, panties following. His darkening eyes wandered up and down her frame while he undressed, exposing his hard cock to her hungry eyes, leaving (y/n) breathless. 
Dean spoke no other warning as he buried his face between her thighs, lapping at her arousal-covered folds, desperate to taste her. Curses rumbled through the both of them while (y/n) was high on the feeling of Dean’s tongue pushing her closer and closer to the edge, the feeling of his thumb circling her pulsing bundle with just enough pressure to leave her gasping. Dean found himself addicted to her taste, to her sounds, to the way she trembled for him only. 
“This is better than heaven, fuck, I’ll do that daily from now on.” He murmured his words against her warm skin, leaving the spots trembling as he let his gaze flicker up to her pleasure-drunken features. One of her hands found his, interlacing their fingers to squeeze his hand, telling him she was all too close. 
“Cum for me, sweetheart, show me how good I’m making you feel.” (Y/n) came with a call of his name, eyes squeezed shut, lips parted. Dean was close to reaching for his phone to film every passing second for him to watch whenever he’d be away from her. But the sight of her orgasm wrecking through her was enough to leave him frozen to the spot. 
“Dean,” (y/n) panted his name, slowly opening her eyes to stare at him. “I need you to fuck me, I can’t wait any longer.” 
Within seconds, he had them repositioned, with (y/n) back in his lap, holding onto his shoulders. He rolled a condom down his twitching cock while (y/n) caught her breath, preparing herself for another intense orgasm. Dean’s hands held her waist as she sunk down on him, foreheads pressed together to adjust, to grasp onto the sensation. 
“Oh god, Dean, you’re so big.” Her walls fluttered around him, trying to get used to his size, to the feeling of him stretching her. Dean’s raspy chuckles guided her on, urging her to move, to rock her hips against his. He supported her every movement, stabilising her as she rode him. Their sounds grew louder, more passionate as they took what they were aching for, clinging to one another like boats rocking ashore. 
He’d forever be her lighthouse, the guiding force she’d search for in times of need, while she was the boat sailing him home, allowing him to be the truest form of himself. 
“You’re doing so well, sweetheart.” Dean’s praises shot heat through her, forcing her fingernails into his shoulders to cling to him, trying not to pay the ache in her thighs too much of her attention. But Dean seemed to pick up on it, giving her a slight push away to force her down on the mattress. 
With their eyes holding contact he pushed back into her, groaning at the feeling. Dean fucked her as if the devil was chasing him, begging them to give in before he could get his grasp on the two lovers. Their moans ripped through them, telling them that they were close, oh so close. 
“Touch yourself, make yourself cum on my cock.” Her fingers blindly followed his command, circling her clit to push her over the edge. (Y/n) choked on Dean’s name as she came, letting her fingernails scratch at his skin to leave behind marks that wouldn’t fade for days. Dean gave it a few more thrusts before he gave in, letting go with a groan that made her clench around him once again. 
“I don’t think it’s ever been this intense for me.” (Y/n)’s confession left Dean chuckling, he parted from her to press a kiss to her lips, eyes searching hers for a second. He threw the condom away before he returned to her bed, wrapping (y/n) in his arms with his eyes glued to hers. 
“Trust me, sweetheart, it had never been like that for me as well.” 
 I take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three, you're too sweet for me
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thisismeracing · 12 hours
Text
More than friends | LH44
―Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader ―Warnings: curse words, mentions of food, and typos; ―Summary: You're friends with Lewis, but fans don't buy the "just friends" discourse - for them, you and Lewis make the most powerful couple, even if you're not famous. And maybe they're right, maybe you're supposed to be more than friends. (based on this request).
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▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee
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yourusername
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liked by yourbestie, lewishamilton, and others
yourusername went for coffee/reading with the bestie, but of course, we ended up yapping about everything and only reading two sentences 😁
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angryschumacher they just like me and my bestie except they’re more cute and would make a great couple 👀
grandpierre can you imagine being bestie with lewis freaking hamilton?! 😭
leclerccrown what are you reading, yn?
⤷ yourusername crooked plows by itamar vieira junior! :)
yourbestie can I borrow those shoes for a date this weekend?? 🙏
lewishamilton worst matcha I’ve ever had 🤢
⤷ yourusername youre just not used to the flavors! It was deliciou
⤷ lewishamilton it probably was, but right before you added tons of sugar and what else 🥴
⤷ yourusername shut up 😡
⤷ lewishamilton I just don’t need extra sugar when you’re around, sweetie
⤷ tifosikimi am I sensing some flirting? 👁️🫦👁️
⤷ tiredtyres tifosikimi I don’t think so, me and my bestie banter like this but we consider each other siblings
harrietdirection her hair is so shiny, her skin is so glowy, she’s so humble and simple and sweet and pretty can lewis share her with the fandom pls
lewishamilton
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liked by georgerussell63, dualipa, and others
lewishamilton recharging for next weekend 💛
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likedbypierregasly this looks like such a romantic dump, the kind of dump one would post with…I dunno…their girlfriend 👀
biebertsunoda I wanna be her so bad
yourusername 💛
⤷ keepingupwf1 yeah bestie Im at a loss of words too
mickschumacher Angie is questioning me about play dates with roscoe!!
⤷ roscoelovescoco 😍 Is miss Angies too
⤷ yourusername how about tomorrow before media duty??
⤷ mickschumacher sounds great! 🤝
⤷ zhoulovers she’s roscoe’s mom, change my mind
elitebarzal oh to spend a weekend recharging beside lewis and roscoe 😭
zendaya 😍😍😍
yourusername
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liked by lilymhe, lewisfan, and others
yourusername productive Friday at work 🤓
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redsainz who choose these boots? I bet it was lewis
oconnected they're so powerful together, you can see bits and bits of the other in them 🩷
mickschumacher glad you enjoyed the haribo! 😌
⤷ yourusername my new fav candy!!! 😌
lewishamilton nice fit 😏
⤷ yourusername you like it? a friend set it up for me 😎
⤷ redsainz told you guys he was to one to piece it together!!!!
bonosmicrophone its the way mick, lily, alex, george, and so on constantly interact with her 🥹🥹
dollarsainz lewishamilton can I date her?
⤷ lewishamilton nah, she’s already taken
⤷ leclerccar WHAT?,mKVNWNCJSJJCJSD
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lewishamilton & yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and others
lewishamilton guess we were always meant to be more ❤️
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yourusername fitting together like the perfect pair of legos 💘 you're forever my best friend, I love you
⤷ lewishamilton I love you forever
⤷ schumickey 😭forever😭my😭best😭friend😭
rizzhou most powerful paddock couple!
yukiyukiyuki everything about these pics gives wholesome heartdly in love vibe 🥹
charles_leclerc finally, guys!!!!! ❤️
georgerussell63 it was about time!
alex_albon lily is asking for another double date (please Yn don’t steal my girl 😭)
⤷ lilymhe too late, babes 😁
mercedesamgf1 😍😍 we’be been rooting for this since the beginning!
⤷ formulainchident even admin!!!!
scuderiaferrari Yn, we already have your special headphones and shirt ready! 🫵❤️
norrisrizz I want what they have, I wanna be her, I wanna be him, I wanna be their dog, I-
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────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! :D as usual, reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated. don't forget to let me know your thoughts!
If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘
▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.
taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27
©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.
― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
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justwonder113 · 3 days
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Maknae Part of this lovely ask
Hyung line Here
Masterlist
Warnings: I don't think there's any, but if I missed please tell me. Not proofread. Jisung is having twins other than that nothing is specified.
A/N - I hope you like it, please share your thoughts and reblog. I really love hearing your thoughts. If you have any requests feel free to request. Love you all, please take care of yourselves ❤️❤️❤️
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Han Jisung
You couldn't wait to tell Jisung the news. You just knew that he would lose his mind. You two had been trying for a baby for a while now, and you've noticed some changes recently. But you were misled like that earlier with symptoms, so you wanted to make sure that you were actually pregnant. And after taking countless pregnancy tests this morning after Jisung left for work, you headed to the doctor. And he gave you the most wonderful news ever.
You couldn't help but giggle as you walked into the JYP building. Of course, the only thing that could be heard on the whole floor was the screams of your husband and his bandmates. The sound hit you like a wave once the elevator door opened. In fact, they were being so loud they didn't even hear you knock on the door. Thankfully Chan heard you knock and led you inside, welcoming you first with a warm hug. The boys quickly greeted you, well almost everyone, your husband along with Hyunjin and Minho was so distracted by debating that he didn't even notice you walk in. You quickly gave the snaks you had bought earlier to Chan to share with the boys and approached your husband. You couldn't help but roll your eyes once you realized what they were arguing about. Hyunjin and the homewrecker aka Minho kept arguing who was closest to Jisung and your husband, being the menace he is, was only putting gasoline on the fire, enjoying the chaos way too much. Han saw you immediately and quickly approached you and gave you the sweetest kiss ever. Minho and Hyunjin kept arguing and didn't even notice you. Han quickly explained that they were arguing who should be your baby's godfather because being an uncle wasn't enough. You were impressed Hyunjin was this ballsy towards Minho. Who kept grumbling from time to time that he would put Hyunjin in the airfryer and that would solve everything. Han admitted to them that you two were trying for a baby. You smiled at Han and gave him a kiss on the cheek, you motioned to him to listen to you well. You then approached Minho and Hyunjin and stopped them by putting your hand on their shoulders. (Yes you were in a dramatic mood like that.) "You don't need to fight about it. I have great news!" You turned to your Husband who looked at you with wide curiosity filled eyes. "I'm pregnant Ji, and we're going to have twins!" If you thought that they were being loud earlier, your eardrums almost burst from the collective cheers of the boys. As for your husband, he most definitely kind of fainted and was bought back by an awestruck Minho who quickly smacked him on the head to pull himself together. Han quickly regained himself and was all kver you in seconds. Littering your face with millions of kisses, showering you with all kinds of praices.
All of the boys were over the moon and kept congratulating you. Minho and Hyunjin stopped their silly little argument and now sat on each side of you talking to your belly all excited( and if you're wondering that shouldn't your husband be by your side especially now? Bold of you to assume that he even let you go, you were sat on his lap proudly and he kept showering you with affection). Boasting about how much of a cool uncles and godfathers they were going to be. Hyunjin kept talking about how he could teach the babies how to draw, Minho kept talking that he would let them play with his cats and he could teach them how to dance. At that Hyunjin also got visibly more excited. And now they kept talking about all the cool choreos they could teach the kids. Han kept listening with the most proud look in his eyes as he squeezed you closer to him, carefully, of course, but enough to show you just how much he loved you.
It was really sweet and you couldn't stop smiling. Seungmin, being the mance he is, did warn you that you should spare your kids from all the influence of all three of the paboracha members, and you couldn't help but laugh at that, much to the said trios dismay. But you know in the end everything was going to be just fine.
Lee Felix
It was a well-known fact that everyone and their mother adored Lee Felix. You also were one of the victims who fell to his deadly charms and sunshine persona. Of course, you were lucky enough (plenty, like be for real) to call him your husband, but anyways, you get the point. Now imagine what would happen if the said sunshine was soon going to be a father? If your answer is that everyone was going to lose their mind over it, then you're correct because that's exactly what happened. The boys were over the moon once they heard that you were pregnant. Of course they were shocked at first, it was kind of hard to imagine their sunshine baby as a father but they quickly aquitanced with the idea and now were more than excited to be the uncles.
Especially Chan. He was the most excited out of the boys. He loved everyone like they were his brothers but it was a known fact that his bond with Felix ran deeper than that. And now he was as exited as if his actual sibling was expecting a child. Felix was also on the same wavelength and as he didn't have any brothers he did view Chris as the uncle of his Child.
Chan tried his best to be as supportive and as helpful as possible. It was really endearing and cute. All of the boys were. But nothing could beat Chan's determination, especially not when he gave your little one the most precious gift ever. He wrote a little lullaby so you and felix could sing it to the kid every night. It was so beautiful too! Both you and Felix couldn't help but tear up. You two were on each side of him cuddling and hugging him as tight as possible while he smiled shyly saying that this was nothing and he would write many more songs for the kid to enjoy. He really was the most precious best uncle ever.
Kim Seungmin
Your sweet husband was so excited that you were going to have a baby soon. He could barely hold his excitement. It was really endearing. He was so sweet and gentle with you! He gave into your every wish and little craving. He basically carried you on top of his hand. He didn't even tease you that much. It was really cute to see him so eager. Also, you just loved how neat and organized he was. He wanted everything to be perfect for the kid and thought through everything.
You two were settling up the nursery for the kid. He ordered the prettiest set for the kid. He spent a whole month researching all the best products read every review and ect. You just love how excited he was. And you just loved every piece he had chosen. He basically did a presentation on each and every one of them.You gave your comments and your ideas and showerd him your pinterest board, and just like that, you ordered everything for the most perfect prettiest nursery ever.
But now, the dilemma was that you had to assemble everything. Which was a bit harder than you thought, especially since Seungmin barely let you do anything and told you to rest since you were almost 6 months pregnant. You were more than capable, but here was no point in arguing with him, so you gave in.
He sat like that for a while, trying to assemble confusing peaces together, but he gave up after a while. And decided to do something he rarely did. He asked for help.
Changbin was a bit confused, unused to Seungmin directly asking for help. But he was more than happy to help. He quickly got into things and in no time got the hang of it.
You decided to bring the snacks and drinks to the boys, not wanting them to overwork themselves. Seungmin was quietly working on the crib while Changbin helped him and softly sang the song he was working on. And that's when you felt it. "The baby kicked!" Both of the boys' heads snapped in your direction, and in seconds you were sat on the tiny sofa you had chosen for the nursery. Seugnmin and Changbin were on each side of you kneeled on the ground, watching you with eager eyes. Your husband had his hands on your belly and kept encouraging the baby to kick again, but nothing. You waited like this for a while. Both you and Seungmin encouraged and talked sweetly, but still nothing, then Seungmin had an idea. He looked unsure first but still decided to try it out. He turned to Changbin and asked him to sing the song again. Changbin looked confused for a second but quickly complied. And that's when you felt another kick. Seungmin looked like he was about to cry, feeling his child kick. Changbin was so shocked, too! He was over the moon. And he was so excited that the baby liked his voice he immediately started bragging that the baby liked him and that he was most definitely the child's favourite uncle. He kept happily singing the song to you. Of course promising to write many more songs for the litrle one to enjoy. Seungmin was a little bit petty that the baby kicked for Changbin's voice and not his, but he was more than happy that the baby was feeling good and healthy. Although he did promise himself to outshine Changbin and sing prettiest of songs to the baby.
IN
Everyone almost lost their minds then they they heard that their maknae, their babybread was going to be a father. And if you fought that they were protective of Innie they were 10 no 100 times worse for you. They never let you lift a finger whenever they were around and always basically spoiled you rotten as if Innie didn't do that already.
8 months into pregnancy went just like that, so smoothly and without much discomfort. You really couldn't wait before you could hold your little one in your hands.
The little one must have been eager to see the world too because they were always so active. They always kicked around and wiggled for many things, but their favourite seemed to be Seungmin's voice. You discovered it randomly, Seungmin was visiting you and Innie. It was a peaceful day. Your baby was also really calm that day. It was quiet until Seungmin broke the silence by humming some song that was on his mind. And once the kiddo caught the voice they almost went crazy in your womb. Both you and Innie were shocked, but the kid really seemed to love Seungmin's voice. And since that, whenever he was around, Seungmin always hummed different songs to you. Not only did it soothe the baby, but you also really enjoyed it. Even now, as you listened to Seungmin humm some lullaby, you felt so content and peaceful, your eyes were starting to droop. The little one was too active these days and barely let you sleep. Seungmin's voice was like a balm to your mind and soul. You couldn't help but relax more and more as you put your heas on his shoulder as he kept humming.
Jeongin couldn't help but smile as he layed a blanket on your sleeping form. He also couldn't help but give a glare to Seungmin who looked so smug. It was like he grew 10 times more he was so smug and proud that the little one was enjoying his voice so much. He even teased Innie that the baby might like him more than him. There were definitely more than one bickering sessions between your husband and Seungmin about this. There was simply no point to talk about ongoing stray kids wars who was going to be the little one's favourite uncle because Seungmin was an absolute menace about the favouritism your kid showed towards him. It was like everyone tried 10 times more to be the baby's favourite. It was a little bit too much, but hey, as long as the kid was peaceful.
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bearsintreesofficial · 14 hours
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hello! i am going to be completely honest - we need your help.
next month, we are going on our biggest uk headline tour yet. we are being joined by people we admire deeply. it is going to be the best show we have ever done. and to be blunt - we would like as many people as possible to know about it.
to us, even getting to do this tour feels like a miracle. ykno, it was originally scheduled for last october. our london show would have been callum's birthday! and it was meant to coincide with releasing our new album. however, we had to push the album back. so the tour got pushed back. our spirits were dampened. there were people behind the scenes who did not respect us. so, we decided to respect ourselves. nearly six months later, we are sitting on the best album of our lives. we funded it ourselves and we are releasing it ourselves. we are going to own it, wholly. and that feels SO damn good.
i do not mean this post as a sad story or as a complaint - i am incredibly proud of where we are and what we have done. i just want to explain why it took so long to get here. there are some things we cannot accomplish without your help. selling out this tour and proving that we are the best damn dirtbag boyband in the world is one of those things.
so i am asking you, please - reblog this post. tag mutuals who don't have tickets yet, or mutuals you think would take a chance on us. boost this post as far as you can. whether you live in the uk or not, we want this tour to be inescapable. for everyone to know it is here, and for everyone to feel welcome.
selling out this tour means we can do bigger shows in more parts of the uk later, and allows us to play more shows in EVERY corner of the world too. it proves the point that we are here to stay, that we can do this on our own, and that y'all know how to be louder than the rest.
we promise to give you the best show of your lives, if you promise to give us everything you have.
thank you for reading.
uk/eu tickets are on sale here.
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star-sim · 1 day
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how you hurt him ☆ ot7
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☆ non-idol! ot7 enhypen x fem! reader ☆ summary: all the ways that you hurt him (ft. song lyrics) ☆ genre: angst ☆ warning(s): toxic relationship, toxic! reader, mentions of cheating, this is practice for an english project so please bear with me, most of this is very figurative/abstract ☆ word count: 2.9k total ☆ aka enhypen boys as sad love songs, it’s like 1am i will edit later 😭
reblogs and feedback are appreciated!
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heeseung ☆
"why would you ever kiss me? i'm not even half as pretty" — heather, conan gray
was there something wrong with heeseung? what if he wasn't good enough for you? did you think he was ugly? disgusting? annoying? needy?
at the beginning of your relationship, you made it clear to heeseung that you weren't good with words.
"don't worry about it," heeseung had told you. "i'm not good either."
he thought you meant that you found it hard to say "i love you."
what you meant was that you were indeed good with words, just bad at saying nice things to him.
at first he thought he was being ridiculous, a prisoner of his own mind.
he knew you loved him— how could you possibly not?
but if you loved him, why did you say such nasty things to him?
"god, heeseung, you're so stupid."
"i can't believe i'm dating someone like you."
"i'm disgusted with you."
he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.
what had he done to make you repulsed by him? was he being sensitive?
he hated himself for all of it.
he hated the creeping feelings of jealousy that would suffocate him like a noose to a prisoner whenever he saw you talk to another man. did you like him more than heeseung? what if you wanted to leave him?
he hated how he craved what little kind words you could give him. it was so rare for you to compliment and speak to him gently, so when you did, heeseung was drunk on it.
he hated how insecure he got.
he hated how his mind was a gallow of its own.
he hated how afraid he was.
"you're so pretty," you whispered into his ear.
heeseung's stomach did flips. did you really mean it? was he as pretty as all the other men you entertained yourself with? was that why you kissed him and not them?
did this mean that you really loved him?
heeseung felt something tighten around his neck. not in that suffocating way that made him claw at his skin until he bled as he stared in the mirror asking himself what could be changed, but in the way that made him feel warm all over.
he’d wait at the gallows like a convicted prisoner, he’d stand there proud, ready to say his last words. he’d keep his hands behind his back, he’d admire the brass noose that would be his eternal necklace.
because for heeseung, to be with you, and to love you, was to be helpless.
to love you was to wait like a dog in the cold.
to love you was to eat your every word like it was his last meal.
to love you was to be your prisoner waiting for you to execute him.
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jay ☆
"pretend that we are more than friends, then of course I'll let you break my heart again" — let you break my heart again, laufey
it's not your fault, jay tells himself. it's not your fault that you can't love him.
but at what point does it become your fault?
you knew that he loved you. he'd told you multiple times, shown you a billion other times. anyone with eyes could tell that he was head over heels in love with you. everyone knew.
especially you— you who rejected him time and time again, laughing that he was just a friend to you.
but here you were, pressing yourself up against him, looking at him with lidded eyes and licking your lips like you wanted to eat him. you held his hand against your chest, whispering a soft "good night." jay knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, not with you so close to him, not with the ache in his chest.
it's not your fault that he loves you, jay thought. but it is your fault that you lead him on, that you pretend to kiss him, that you snuggle up next to him knowing that he'd lay down his life for you.
did you enjoy torturing him like this?
what pleasure did you take in constantly making him think that he had a chance with you?
was this how it was going to be forever?
were you always going to keep him waiting like this, just because you knew that he'd stay no matter what?
jay swallowed the lump in his throat.
he couldn't continue living like this, having you play with his feeling like this.
"jay..." you mumbled, reaching out for him. jay was pulled out of his thoughts, his eyes flickering to you. you looked so innocent and peaceful despite himself. how could he ever stop? how could he stop when it was you at hand?
"i'm here," he hummed, throwing an arm around you. i'm always here.
you were warm, and soft, and everything that jay could ever want in a person. your soft breathing brushed up against his cheek.
jay stared at your sleeping face.
would it hurt to pretend that you were more than friends?
he let his eyelids fall slowly.
he could imagine you and him dancing in the kitchen, laughing together as the scent of jay's cooking filled the apartment. jazz music would be playing, and you'd pretend to be an old flapper couple from the '20's, swirling around the cold kitchen tiles.
your words from earlier echoed in his head.
"i love you so much, jay!"
"you're the best."
"how could i ever be so lucky to meet you?"
it made his heart pound in his chest, unable to hide the lovesick grin spreading on his face.
he knew your words meant nothing, that you truly only saw him as a friend.
he needed to stop this delusion now, else he'd be even more hurt than he already was. you broke his heart over and over again, as if it meant nothing to you.
but as you and him twirled around his head, basking in each other's presence, jay couldn't bring himself to let you go.
he'd let you, jay thought. he'd let you break his heart.
as many times as you wanted.
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jake ☆
"the other man will always cry himself to sleep, the other man will never have her love to keep" — the other woman, lana del rey
of course jake knew that he wasn't the only man in your life.
how many times did he lay in bed at night, wishing that it was him that could hold you? how many times did he dream of being the man that could call you his? how many fantasies did he have of marrying you, of giving you the world?
and how many times did he have to remind himself that he couldn't have you— that you already had someone to love?
it made jake feel sick, seeing all the pictures that you posted with you and your husband, hearing all the chatter about your 2-year wedding anniversary, and forcing himself to smile as a tight-lipped "congratulations" fell from his mouth.
but what made him even more sick was how happy he felt whenever you showed up at his doorstep in the depths of the night.
jake couldn't help it.
he couldn't help how his stomach did flips when your hands slithered up his chest, wrapping around his neck as you pressed kisses against his jaw.
he couldn't help how his body moved on its own as he took in the scent of your perfume, his head filling with nothing but you, you, you.
he couldn't help how he craved you, how he was unable to pull away from you, even though he knew you had a husband waiting for you back home.
he couldn't help how for a moment, he could pretend that you were his; for a moment, he could live in the illusion that he was the one that you came home to every night, that he was the one that you woke up with in the morning, that he was the one that you sat at the kitchen table with to discuss your weekly grocery list, that he was the one that you laughed with in the depths of night, that he was the only man that you loved.
but as quickly as it started, you were already out the door, waving goodbye with a sweet smile as if you hadn't committed a crime against your husband.
jake knew the sight of your retreating back better than anyone, and as he closed the door, he'd suck in a sharp breath.
he would deny it over and over, until his words lost meaning.
but he knew the truth.
he was a fool for thinking that he could have you, for after all this time, he was the other man.
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sunghoon ☆
"i bet on losing dogs, i know they're losing and i'll pay for my place" — i bet on losing dogs, mitski
you and sunghoon were never meant to work out, and he knew this.
everyone said that you'd hurt him. he'd seen it with his own eyes, how you bore your bloody teeth and ripped into people like they were your prey, how you barked venomous words at people.
you were a losing dog to begin with, a losing dog that would never truly love him the same way you loved yourself.
and before he knew it, sunghoon realized that everyone was right.
you sunk your teeth into him, feasting on what love he could give you like a ravenous hyena.
but how could he resist you? how could he resist your touch, your warmth, your limited moments of compassion?
wounded, bleeding, scarred, sunghoon staggered away from the killing floor. yet, he was unable to stop himself from turning over his shoulder to see your face.
there was something disgusting he felt, something that made sunghoon nauseous. his stomach churned. and then he realized, he couldn't bring himself to leave you.
because you were a starving dog, thristy for a victim.
because you were a wailing dog, weeping over your kill as if it would atone you.
because you were a losing dog, a dog that sunghoon placed his bets on.
and it was time for him to pay the price of his actions.
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sunoo ☆
"i know who you pretend i am" —washing machine heart, mitski
sunoo wasn't stupid.
he knew it better than anyone, that your heart didn't belong to him. it never did, and it never will.
sunoo saw the way that you yearned, he saw the way that your eyes lit up, he saw the way that you gazed with love in your eyes— all for someone that wasn't him.
so why did you kiss him like he meant anything to you? why did you hold him like he could have you?
he knew why.
"i missed you so much," you breathed against his ear, pressing him against the wall. "so, so, so much."
the taste of your lips was addicting.
you liked to kiss roughly. you liked to run your fingers through his hair and pull it harshly, making him groan lowly against your lips. you liked to slip your fingers up his shirt, making him shudder.
sunoo liked to kiss gently. he liked it when your lips would melt against his. he liked it when you played with the clasp of the silver chain around his neck. he liked it when you pulled away and giggled softly at the lipstick smudge at the corner of his lip.
he didn't like it rough like you did.
but he took it all.
he took it all, because he loved you.
he took it all, even though he knew that you were kissing him pretending that he someone else.
it wasn't hard to tell.
you wore the gold necklace that he gave you, never any of the ones that sunoo got you.
you didn't even blink when sunoo's name was said, but the mere mention of his interests or career had you reeling.
and of course, he liked when you kissed roughly so you were a rough kisser, even though sunoo liked it gentle.
you don't even look at sunoo the way you look at him.
when you said "i miss you," sunoo could tell that you didn't mean it.
you didn't miss sunoo, you missed him. you just missed the attention that sunoo gave you.
he knew who you pretended he was.
but all he could do was look into your eyes, and be reminded of a tragedy: that while you couldn't love him back, he loved you.
"i missed you, too," he whispered back, swallowing the lump in his throat, swallowing his dignity.
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jungwon ☆
"if you need to be mean, be mean to me" — i don't smoke, mitski
to be vulnerable, to be at someone's mercy, to be someone's lamb for the slaughter, was jungwon's biggest fear. he'd die before he'd let someone take advantage of his weakness.
yet as you slipped out of his grip, your once loving eyes turning cold as hands that once held him in your arms became the hands that striked him, all he could do was sit back and take it.
words like daggers into his back, slashing him over and over like he was a sacrificial lamb for a god that could not save him. hot tears would line as eyes as you raised your knife at him, sending shivers down his spine that made him cower into his skin, chanting apologies like they were prayers.
jungwon should run. after all, that was all he spent his life doing.
but how could he escape you when you kissed his tear-stained face? how could he leave you, for when your anger simmered down you cradled his cheek, whispering that you loved him?
it hurt, it hurt so bad.
but if you must destroy him, if you must slaughter him until your killing floor was covered in blood, if you must cut him up into little pieces for your own pleasure, so be it.
he'd follow you into the slaughterhouse, knowing full well that the darkness was the last thing he'd ever see, and jungwon would close his eyes and thank the person that crafted your blade anyway.
you can kiss him, you can hold him close, or you can strike him, you can treat him like an animal. he wouldn't care. it would be the same either way; he'd be glad that it was you.
for he was your lamb, and you were his butcher; for if you needed to be mean, be mean to him.
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riki ☆
"even though she isn’t even really gone, but things are just different ever since she cut her blue hair off" — blue hair, tv girl
of course riki noticed. how could he not?
all those bored looks when he was talking, aimless nods when he asked you a question, and loveless kisses that you pressed against his skin. it took you hours to respond to his texts and calls, and when you did, you responded curtly. you stopped coming home, always having plans on weekends with no time for him.
riki didn't know what happened.
he thought that you and him had such a great relationship, filled with love and laughter.
but somewhere along the way, you seemed to lose interest in him.
he asked all your friends, but they said nothing changed about your behavior.
did riki do something wrong? did he make you angry? all questions that he'd never find the answer to.
the silence was piercing, ringing in his ears. he'd just asked you how your day was, and all he got back was a simple, vacant stare, before you turned back to your phone, scrolling mindlessly. his heart sunk so his stomach, brows crashing together.
had riki lost you? all he wanted was for you to look at him, for you to acknowledge him. was he being dramatic?
please, riki begged. please look at me, please see me, please love me.
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122 notes · View notes
hotvintagepoll · 2 days
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Propaganda
Barbara Stanwyck (Ball of Fire, The Lady Eve, Double Indemnity)—I hope someone else has submitted better propaganda than I because I don't want my girl's prospects to rest on me just yelling PLEASE VOTE FOR MY TERRIBLE HOT GIRLFRIEND. She is a delight in everything! She is often a sexy jerk! (It's most of the plot of Baby Face!) Even when she plays a "good girl" (as an example, Christmas in Connecticut, which more people should see) she's still kind of a jerk and I love her for it! She won't take men's shit and she sure wouldn't take mine!
Margaret Lockwood (The Wicked Lady, The Lady Vanishes)— Gorgeous feisty funny talented and the sexiest stubborn face ever committed to film. And if people haven't seen the original Wicked Lady they need to be introduced to a glorious poly highway romp of a film. When a woman outsneers James Mason you know she has sex appeal!
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Margaret Lockwood:
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Barbara Stanwyck:
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"THE leading lady of the golden age of hollywood. One of the only actresses to work independent of a studio, making short-term contracts that enabled her to make movies wherever she wanted. She had so much range, and could act in basically any genre. She's been rumored to be a lesbian literally since she was active in Hollywood; most notable is the rumor that she had a long time on-and-off relationship with famously bi Joan Crawford, her "best friend" for decades (They lived right next door to one another). She also lived with Helen Ferguson, her "live-in publicist" for many years. She was the quintessential femme fatale in Double Indemnity, and really pushed sexual boundaries in her pre-code films like Baby Face, and the famous screwball The Lady Eve, where she plays basically a downlow domme. Allegedly, when a journalist asked her if she was a lesbian, she straight up threw him out of her house. She even played a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side"
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"THE queen of screwball comedies. I adore her, I'd kill for her, I will cry if she's not gonna win this poll."
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"listen ok she had awful politics she was a mccarthyist right wing wacko BUT she's so incredibly hot that i've deluded myself into believing i could fix her. if you see her onscreen she carries herself in a way that's just so effortlessly sexy AND she has just a stunning face. imo she was at her hottest in the 1940s but even as early as the late 1920s she had a rly captivating screen presence and just a beautiful face, and then post-1950 she was just irresistibly milfy so really she was just always incredibly hot. she was also an incredibly talented actress who was equally stellar in melodrama, film noir, and unhinged screwball comedy. the blonde wig they made her wear in double indemnity is notoriously silly looking but she still looks sexy in it so that's gotta count for something. i've watched so many terrible movies just for a chance at seeing her that i think her estate should be paying me damages."
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"Not often thought of for her sultriness, Barbara Stanwyck was incredible in that she could actually choose to be hot if the role called for it, and then have a glow-down to look ordinary for another role. She wasn't the most beautiful or effervescent, but damn did she have rizz. Watch her with Gary Cooper in Ball of Fire teaching him about "yum-yum" or with Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve whispering huskily into his ear."
youtube
"She is always the smartest woman in the room. Watching her play Henry Fonda like a befuddled fiddle in The Lady Eve was a highlight of my life. Femme fatale in Double Indemnity, comedy queen in Ball of Fire. She can do anything."
"She was part of my gay awakening"
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"SHE'S A PRE-CODE QUEEN. She did everything, drama, comedy. The most beautiful woman in the world to watch weep. Beg for to step on you with those legs. Fun Babs story: Ginger Rogers was offered the role in Ball of Fire but said, “Oh, I would never play that part, she’s too common.” So they called Barbara Stanwyck and they said “We offered this to Ginger Rogers but she’s turned it down, would you be interested?” And she read the script and she said; “You bet! I LOVE playing common broads. [link]"
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alj0saray · 3 days
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Jealousy NSFW HCs
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ೃ⁀➷ TW/CW: SMUT, 18+ (MINORS/AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DON’T INTERACT), Bad English, GN Reader (no body parts or pronouns), Fingering, Oral, Dom Character, Ruined Orgasm, Degrading (one use of the word whore), Hickeys&Bites, Rough Sex, Public Sex, let me know if I need to add more TW/Tags ♡ My blog contains dark content, be careful when interacting/following! Please if you like my work don't forget to reblog/interact with me♡ Minors, ageless, blank blogs, and silent readers will get blocked if interact with me. ➳ Characters: Leona Kingscholar
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⤠ NSFW HCs (Leona, Trey) ⤟ TWST Masterlist ⤠ Dubcon with bunny reader (Leona) ⤟
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anon requested: May i request some jealousy nsfw headcanons for leona? With amab or gender neutral reader if you want! Thank you boo ❤️  
here we areee with our precious lion, this was so fun to write!! Thank you for requesting this and I'm so sorry this took me such a long time to answer this, but here we are!! Hope you will like this💞
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Leona feels jealousy often, hes deeply scared of losing you. That doesn't mean he will act on it, because he won’t most of the time, too lazy and tired to act how much he truly cares. Because he does care, a lot. Unfortunately for him. 
There are multiple ways to make him jealous: being from the classical “talking” to a person, laughing at someone else joke, being too enthusiastic to meet someone, smelling like someone else. He is often jealous I tell you 
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It's also because, to me, he's a very possessive and jealous lover. Maybe it's also his beastman side that doesn't help him, since he will often let you wear his clothes as a way to get his smell on you
And you can kind of tell when hes jealous. Other than being more silent than usual, his tail moves up and down in an annoyed manner, and he has the cutest frown on his face. If asked Leona will obviously say that it's fine while his tail is going crazy behind him lmao 
When he does act upon his jealousy, it is mostly with rough/“hate” sex. It's easy to simply take you in his arms and bring you somewhere more private, even if it really isn't. 
Yes, even when he is jealous he will fuck you somewhere not so private where someone could see you two. What better message to say you are unavailable than him fucking you stupid on his dick?
He will mark you up in any way possible: hickeys, bites, bruises even. Leona doesn't care as long it's something that clearly states you are taken and absolutely not available. He’ll leave them in the most obvious places too: your neck, your chest, even your arms mostly on your wrist, your legs, and on your inner thighs, loving to see them whatever you wear something short 
Hes so incredibly rough with you; ripping the clothes off your body with little care over how much they cost or if you cared about them, he could easily buy you new pricey ones anyway, and he starts with the hickeys and biting 
No cumming. Not unless he says so. Leona doesn't care that you were so close to cumming again, you aren’t going to orgasm any time soon. Hes so mean about it too: he will whisper nothing but sweet things in your ear as he works up your orgasm thanks to his fingers but just when your orgasm is so close he will bring out his fingers with a smirk, enjoying how you moan and cry in complaint 
Leona will ruin your orgasm constantly, before on his fingers then on his tongue, licking and sucking everything he can find with a smirk. Again, he will get away from you just when you are basically cumming, just to see you crying more and more... 
The first time he makes you cum is on his dick, but when he is thrusting against you instead of inside you, just to make you more desperate and needy. Then he will start with degrading words, asking if you liked to cum on the other person instead of him, calling you names 
His hand goes to your neck as he forces you further against the grass. “Did you like baby? Cumming all over me, all over my cock? Mh? Or were you still thinking about that other guy?” he tsks, green eyes full of lust and jealousy looking at yours. “But you want more, don’t you? Whore” 
He slowly pushes his cock deep inside of you, making you feel every inch and vein. He’s so mean, you are all but ready to fully take him but hes just so big you feel a slight hurt the more he pushes in. 
“Don’t worry, we just started my love” 
↳˗ˏˋTaglistˊˎ˗↴ @heatofmyexoheart, @mega-slug-i-mean-mega-slut. want to be added to my taglist? Please check here! Feel free to send some feedback about it🤍
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This work belongs to @/alj0saray, do not repost, translate, copy, rewrite or share on tiktok without my permission. Reblogs are appreciated and encouraged♡
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kckt88 · 13 hours
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The Lost Dragon XIII - Tranquility.
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Summary:
Jace and Aemond find common ground and Vaelys is unwilling to make peace.
Warning(s): Angst, Apology, Mention of Miscarriage, Language, Uncle/Niece Incest, Kissing, Smut - Fingering, Hand Job, P in V, Breeding Kink, Pregnancy, Crying, Frustration, Child Birth.
*Features two year time skip*
AEMOND TARGARYEN x O.C -VAELYS TARGARYEN
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Word Count: 4267
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.
Tag List - @jasminecosmic99 @kaelatargaryen @yesterdayfeelings-blog @immyowndefender @0eessirk8 @darylandbethfanforever9
Jace's footsteps echoed through the corridors of Dragonstone as he made his way towards his sister's chambers. He could feel the tension in the air, a palpable weight that hung over the castle like a storm cloud. He knew that Vaelys was still reeling from the argument she'd had with their mother, Rhaenyra, and he was determined to help mend the rift between them.
As he approached the door to Vaelys' chambers, Jace paused, gathering his thoughts before he knocked gently. "Vaelys," he called out, his voice tentative. "It's me, Jace. Can I come in?"
There was a moment of silence before the door swung open, revealing Vaelys standing on the other side, her expression guarded and defiant. "What do you want, Jace?" she asked, her voice sharp with anger.
Jace stepped into the room, his gaze meeting his sister's with a mixture of concern and determination. "I came to talk," he replied softly, his tone pleading. "To see how you're doing-and to try and sort things out."
But Vaelys remained unmoved, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "I don't want to talk," she snapped, her voice tinged with bitterness. "Especially not about Mother."
Jace sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He knew that Vaelys was hurting, that the wounds inflicted by their argument ran deep. But he also knew that he couldn't simply stand by and watch their family fall apart.
"Vaelys, please," he pleaded, his voice tinged with desperation. "I know you're angry, but you can't shut us out forever. We're family."
But Vaelys shook her head, her eyes blazing with defiance. "Not anymore," she retorted, her voice thick with emotion. "Not after what Mother did."
Jace followed Vaelys as she made her way to the grassy cliff edge, where Aemond was sitting with their children, Sovia and Daevyn. The dragons—Silverwing, Sapphyre, Vermithor, and Vhagar—rested nearby, their massive forms casting long shadows in the afternoon sun.
As Vaelys approached Aemond, a smile lighting up her face, Aemond's expression darkened when he noticed Jace trailing behind her. His brow furrowed with concern, wary of the tension that lingered between them.
"Vaelys," Aemond greeted her, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "Is everything ok?”
“Everything is fine-It’s time for the children to bathe” replied Vaelys firmly.
"Jace," Aemond acknowledged with a nod, his tone cool.
Jace shifted uncomfortably under Aemond's gaze, acutely aware of the tension that hung in the air. "Aemond," he replied evenly, trying to keep his voice neutral.
"Come on, little ones," Vaelys said affectionately, bending down to gather them in her arms. "It's time for your bath."
Sovia and Daevyn protested playfully, but Vaelys' gentle insistence soon had them reluctantly following her towards the castle.
As they disappeared inside, leaving the cliff edge bathed in the soft light of dusk, Jace turned his attention towards Aemond.
"Aemond, what my mother did-“ muttered Jace, his voice edged with frustration. "-She was worried what you might do."
Aemond's jaw clenched, his gaze hardening as he fixed his brother-in-law with a steely stare. "Worried or not, keeping Vaelys in the dark about where I was-it was cruel," he retorted, his voice laced with bitterness. "And then for Daemon to insinuate that I would betray her-it was unforgivable."
Jace bristled at the accusation, his own temper flaring in response. "They were trying to protect her," he countered, his voice rising with indignation. "You know how much she means to them, to all of us."
But Aemond shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. "Protect her? By tearing us apart?" he scoffed. "I would never betray Vaelys. Not in a thousand lifetimes."
Jace's resolve wavered as he met Aemond's gaze, the pain and anguish etched in his eyes impossible to ignore. In that moment, he realized the depth of his brother-in-law's suffering, the weight of his own guilt heavy upon him.
"I-I know, Aemond," Jace admitted quietly, his voice filled with regret. "T-They thought they were doing what was best for her. But now-now I see how cruel it all was."
Aemond's voice was heavy with resignation as he addressed Jace, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air. "I know kidnapping Vaelys was wrong," he admitted, his tone tinged with regret. "But I tried my best to protect her”.
Jace's expression softened, a pang of remorse tugging at his heart as he listened to his brother-in-law's confession. He knew that Aemond had faced impossible choices, that he had sacrificed everything in his desperate bid to shield Vaelys from harm.
"Aemond, I-" Jace began, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words. "I understand why you did what you did. And I'm sorry-I'm sorry for everything that's happened."
Aemond nodded solemnly, a weary acceptance in his eyes. "Thank you, Jace," he replied quietly, his voice tinged with sadness. "But no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try-it's never going to be good enough, is it?"
Jace's heart clenched at the truth of Aemond's words, the weight of their shared guilt hanging heavy upon them both. "I wish things could be different," he admitted softly, his voice thick with emotion. "I wish we could go back and make things right."
But Aemond shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping him. "It's too late for that," he replied, his voice tinged with resignation. "All we can do now is try to move forward, to rebuild what's been broken."
Jace's voice broke through the heavy silence, his words filled with a sense of turmoil. "Aemond, how do you do it?" he asked, his tone weighted with uncertainty.
Aemond furrowed his brow in confusion, taken aback by the sudden question. "Do what?" he replied, his voice tinged with curiosity.
Jace hesitated for a moment before continuing, his gaze faltering as he struggled to find the right words. "How did you cope-when Vaelys suffered the miscarriage?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
Aemond's heart clenched at the mention of the painful memory, the grief and sorrow washing over him like a tidal wave. He closed his eyes, the weight of his emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
"It wasn't easy," he admitted quietly, his voice thick with emotion. "There were moments... when I thought I couldn't bear it. But I knew I had to be strong for Vaelys."
He paused, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "Sometimes, especially when I was in exile, I would think of the babe we would have had," he confessed, his voice trembling with raw vulnerability. "Boy or girl, it didn't matter. I would have loved them with all my heart."
Aemond's eyes brimmed with tears as he spoke, the pain of their loss still fresh in his mind. But then, amidst the darkness of his grief, a flicker of light emerged.
"But I cope," he said softly, his voice filled with determination, "By loving my wife. By being there for her, no matter what."
"Baela-she struggles with our loss. I don't know how to help her."
Aemond regarded his brother-in-law with empathy, the pain of their shared grief etched in his eyes. He reached out, placing a comforting hand on Jace's shoulder. "I understand, Jace," he said softly. "It's not easy seeing the one you love in pain."
Jace nodded, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I just want to make it better for her," he admitted, his voice choked with emotion.
Aemond offered him a reassuring smile, a glimmer of understanding passing between them. "Sometimes," he began, his voice gentle yet firm, "The best thing you can do is simply be there for her. Let her cry, let her scream. Hold her close and tell her you love her."
He paused, his gaze searching Jace's for reassurance. "It won't take away the pain," he continued, "But knowing that you're there, that she's not alone, it can make all the difference."
Jace nodded, a sense of gratitude washing over him at Aemond's words. "Thank you, Aemond," he said quietly, his voice filled with appreciation. "I'll do whatever it takes to help her through this."
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Aemond stood on the grassy cliffs of Dragonstone, his gaze fixed on the sky as he watched Jace soar away on the back of his dragon Vermax.
Turning away from the horizon, Aemond made his way back towards the castle, his thoughts lingering on the bond he shared with his family. As he stepped inside, the warmth of the hearth greeted him, casting a soft glow over the room.
And there, in the corner, he found Vaelys reading a story to their children, Sovia and Daevyn, their laughter filling the air like music. Aemond's heart swelled with love as he watched them, his worries melting away in the warmth of their embrace.
Joining them by the fire, Aemond wrapped his arms around his wife and children.
"What book are we reading?" he inquired, his tone filled with genuine curiosity.
Sovia beamed up at her father, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "It's a story about a dragon who saved a Princess," she answered, her voice filled with enthusiasm. "And then they fell in love."
Aemond's heart swelled with affection as he looked at his daughter, her innocence a reminder of the beauty and wonder of the world. His gaze then shifted to Vaelys, who met his eyes with a soft smile, her love shining brightly in the warmth of her gaze.
As the family immersed themselves in the tale of the dragon and the princess, there came a gentle knock at the door. Ceci, stood in the doorway, her warm smile lighting up the room.
"Supper has been prepared” she announced softly, her voice carrying a note of warmth and familiarity.
Vaelys glanced up from the book, a smile touching her lips as she nodded in acknowledgment. "Thank you, Ceci," she said warmly. "We'll be there shortly."
Ceci dipped into a polite curtsy before retreating from the room, leaving the family in the quiet comfort of their own company once more.
As they entered the dining hall, Aemond's hand still playfully tickling Sovia's side, they found Helaena, her children and Daeron already seated at the table. The room was filled with the aroma of a hearty meal, and the sound of cheerful chatter filled the air.
Vaelys' eyes swept across the room, her attention catching on Daeron, who sat with a sheepish grin, stealing glances at Ceci, who’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, she gasped in shock as she realized Vaelys had noticed, but Vaelys merely offered her a warm smile before turning her attention to Aemond.
Aemond's laughter rang out as he continued to tickle Sovia, the joyous sound filling the room with warmth. Vaelys' heart swelled with love as she watched her husband and daughter, a sense of contentment washing over her.
As they took their seats at the table, joining Helaena and her children, Vaelys felt a sense of gratitude for the simple moments of happiness that filled their lives.
*Two Years Later*
As they walked deeper into the cavern, the sound of trickling water grew louder until they reached a small chamber bathed in a soft, golden glow. Steam rose from the surface of a crystal-clear pool nestled against the rocky walls, the air heavy with warmth.
Vaelys and Aemond exchanged a look, anticipation gleaming in their eyes, before they began to undress, shedding layers until they stood bare beneath the flickering torchlight. With a shared smile, they stepped into the soothing waters of the hot spring, sighing in bliss as the heat enveloped them.
Aemond's eye sparkled with affection as he watched Vaelys, her silhouette softened by the gentle glow of the hot spring's waters. With a tender smile, he extended his hand, inviting her to join him closer. Vaelys, sensing his intention, waded towards him, her heart quickening with anticipation.
As she drew near, Aemond wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap with a gentle embrace. Vaelys settled against him, the warmth of his body mingling with the soothing heat of the water.
Vaelys then reached up and delicately slipped the eyepatch from Aemond's head, revealing the sapphire nestled within, its deep blue hue capturing her gaze.
Tenderly, she leaned forward, and pressed a series of soft kisses on the scarred side of Aemond’s face.
Each kiss was a silent declaration for the love she felt for her husband.
As she pulled away their gazes locked the world around them fade away, leaving only the two of them, in that moment.
Aemond leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers in a sweet kiss.
He was about to pull away when Vaelys slowly opened her mouth, inviting him in, her wet hand sliding round the back of his neck.
Encouraged, Aemond parted his own lips against hers and slowly slid his tongue inside her hot wet mouth.
Looking up at Aemond’s face, she licked her lips and ran a hand down his chest, digging her nails into his skin as she went.
Aemond seemed to enjoy the tinge of pain mixed pleasure, his eye rolling back in his head.
Vaelys then lowered her hand to wrap around his hard cock.
Aemond drew in his breath at her touch, his cock throbbing, as she slowly moved her hand up and down.
Her tongue running along his lower lip as she leisurely stroked his cock.
Her hand sliding smoothly along his wet length with firm, deliberate strokes.
“N-No m-more, I’m going to come if you carry on-” muttered Aemond.
“I want to suck your cock” whispered Vaelys.
Aemond shuddered, as her hot breath tickled his ear.
Before he could answer Vaelys took a deep breath and slid under the water, gripping his erection a little harder than she would ordinarily have dared.
Aemond didn't move.
Vaelys put her lips to his head then quickly pulled his cock into her mouth, forming a tight seal so as to not let too much water enter.
Stroking his shaft firmly, she moved up and down, swallowing his head and as much of his length as she could, sucking hard.
Vaelys’ hearing was somewhat clouded by the surrounding water.
She didn't hear Aemond’s sharp intake of breath, and she couldn't see how he tilted his head back, eye closed against the glorious streaks of pleasure coursing through his body.
Aemond couldn't remember the last time he was this hard.
Vaelys head broke clear of the water, she gasped for breath and pushed her streaming-wet silver hair back over her head.
“What are you?” asked Aemond.
But Vaelys didn’t answer she just smirked and moved backwards, her arms moving hypnotically under the water as she swam away from him.
Aemond smiled as he pushed himself away from the edge of the pool and swam after her, but she took a deep breath and sunk below the surface of the water.
Aemond watched as she moved sinuously through the clear water, his wife stopped and stared at him from under the water, her silver hair fanned out behind her like a curtain, she smiled as she resurfaced but dodged out of his way as he went to grab her, taking a breath a sinking beneath the surface once more.
Descending under the water, Aemond followed his wife, he was never one for swimming and he’d only learnt as a child after he complained to his mother when he’d saw Vaelys, and her bastard strong brothers being taught by Ser Laenor.
Thank the seven he’d insisted, because if he hadn’t then he wouldn’t be able to share in his current experience with his wife.
He rose to the surface and took another deep breath before descending below the surface again, reaching for his wife as she swam past him and tickled him.
Aemond seized hold of his wife and moved his hands around her neck as he pressed his lips to hers.
They both resurfaced at the same time, breathing heavily as their hands grasped at one another.
Aemond took hold of Vaelys and span her around, his body pushing her towards the edge of the pool, his hard cock grinding against her arse.
“Valzȳrys” exclaimed Vaelys (Husband).
Aemond’s large hands skimming down her sides, moving further and further down, extending his middle finger to tease her folds.
“Vok” growled Aemond (Perfect).
“A-Aemond” whimpered Vaelys.
“Do you know how much I fucking love you” rasped Aemond, his tongue running along the shell of her ear.
Aemond shifts slight as he continues to stroke her folds with one hand, whilst the other begins to tease her puckered hole with one finger.
He works in silence for a while, easing his finger in and out of her arse until she could take it easily.
Pulling out, he slowly added a second finger.
“Oh gods. Oh yes” moaned Vaelys, as Aemond dug his teeth into her shoulder.
“As much as I would love to fuck you there-I want to be inside your cunny”
“Oooh Aemond” exclaimed Vaelys.
“I’m going to fill you my seed-put another babe in you”.
“Aemond-Please fuck me” begged Vaelys.
“Oh, like this?” asked Aemond, and a second later his hard length filled her cunny in one smooth stroke.
“God. Yes. Aemond” screamed Vaelys.
He began to thrust in and out of her in deep achingly slow thrusts.
“Your cunt feels amazing” sighed Aemond.
Slowly thrusting back and forth. Over and over, withdrawing further each time, until his cock entirely withdrew from her warm wet entrance, he paused for a moment before thrusting himself back inside her.
Aemond then began to fuck her in earnest, plunging his cock into her cunny over and over, Vaelys’ moans of need echoing around the cavern.
The warm water rolling and splashing against the edges of the pool from the force of his thrusts.
Deciding he wanted to see her face as he fucks her, Aemond withdrew and turned her around, lifting his wife against him.
Her legs automatically wrap around his waist as he reaches down, wrapping a hand around his hard cock as he sheathes himself back inside her.
He rests his back against the rocky edges of the pool and digs his fingers into Vaelys’ hips as she rides him, hard and fast.
Aemond takes one of her stiffened rosy nipples into his mouth and sucks.
Fuck he couldn’t wait to get her with child again, her round stomach and her milk swollen breasts that he would indulge himself with.
Aemond felt his stones draw in; his peak was approaching. He snaked a hand around Vaelys’ body and played with her clitoris, plucking it with his fingers.
“Oh gods” moaned Vaelys as her whole-body shook.
“Come for me, love” breathed Aemond, his thrusts starting to jerk.
He was close. So close.
Vaelys screamed as her desperately needed peak exploded from her body, making every limb tremble as her cunt convulsed around his cock.
“I’m going to fill you up-I meant it when I said I want to get you with child again”.
“A-Another babe?” whimpered Vaelys.
“Yes” growled Aemond.
“P-Please, I want it” begged Vaelys.
“FUCK” roared Aemond.
His own peak nearly took him off his feet. The sensation took over his body as he spilled rope after rope of his seed, he had no recollection of what he did or said for the good minute it took for his peak to crest, then subside.
He had never come so hard in his life.
Breathing hard, Aemond gently pulled out and enveloped his wife’s shaking limbs into a tight hug.
“I-I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“Not at all” replied Vaelys quietly.
“Let’s head back to our chambers-I’ll have the maids bring us some food and drink, your going to need your energy for the night ahead ābrazȳrys, I plan on having you many more times this night” said Aemond firmly, his lips curving into a smile.
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Vaelys lay in bed, her hand tightly clasped in Aemond's as she breathed through the waves of pain that rippled through her body. Sweat glistened on her brow, her chest rising and falling with each laboured breath as the moment they had been awaiting drew near.
Aemond stood by her side, his expression a mix of concern and unwavering support. With each contraction, he offered words of encouragement, his voice a steady anchor in the storm of sensations that swept over Vaelys.
"You're doing so well, my love," he murmured, brushing a lock of silver hair from her forehead. "Just a little while longer, and our child will be in our arms."
As the waves of pain intensified and the moments stretched into eternity, Vaelys felt the tears running down her cheeks. But these tears weren't solely born from the agony of childbirth; they were tears of overwhelming joy, tears of gratitude for the man who was standing by her side.
Through clenched teeth and gasps for air, Vaelys managed to whisper amidst the throes of labour, "I'm so happy you're here, Aemond."
Aemond's heart swelled with emotion as he squeezed her hand tighter, his eye reflecting the depth of his love and devotion. "I wouldn't be anywhere else, Issa jorrāelagon," he replied, his voice thick with emotion (My love).
"Princess” Maester Garrick began, his eyes meeting hers with a reassuring gaze, "The time has come. With each contraction, I need you to push with all your strength."
Vaelys nodded, her resolve steeling as she braced herself for the next wave of pain. Gripping Aemond's hand tightly, she drew a deep breath, summoning every ounce of determination within her.
"As the next contraction begins, I want you to bear down and push," the Maester instructed, his voice steady and measured. "Focus on the strength within you, Princess. You can do this."
As another wave of agony swept over her, Vaelys closed her eyes and followed the Maester's guidance, pushing with all her might, her muscles straining. With each exertion, she felt a surge of energy coursing through her veins, propelling her forward towards the moment of delivery.
"Good, Princess, good," the Maester encouraged, his hands guiding her with practiced precision.
"Keep pushing, just a little more, your doing amazing” exclaimed Aemond.
Through gritted teeth, Vaelys obeyed, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she pushed with all the strength she could muster. And then, with one final push the babe arrived with a wet squelch.
As the room filled with the sound of a newborn's cry, Maester Garrick's face broke into a smile of satisfaction. "You've done it, Princess”  he declared, his voice filled with pride.
Exhausted yet elated, Vaelys collapsed back against the pillows, her eyes shining with tears of relief and joy. Beside her, Aemond squeezed her hand, his own eyes brimming with emotion as they gazed upon the tiny bundle of life that lay cradled in the Maester's arms.
With gentle hands, Maester Garrick carefully cradled the newborn in his arms, his weathered face breaking into a warm smile as he turned towards Vaelys and Aemond.
"You have a son" he said, his voice filled with a sense of reverence.
Vaelys' heart swelled with a rush of emotion as she gazed down at the tiny bundle nestled in the maester's arms. Tears of joy filled her eyes as she reached out, her arms trembling with anticipation, yearning to hold her newborn child against her chest.
Aemond's expression mirrored her own as he leaned in closer, his eyes shining with pride and wonder. "A son," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "Our son."
With a nod of acknowledgment, Maester Garrick carefully transferred the baby into Vaelys' waiting arms, cradling him against her chest with infinite tenderness. As she felt the weight of her son against her, a sense of overwhelming love washed over her, filling her with a warmth that eclipsed even the radiant glow of the chamber's torches.
"He's perfect," Vaelys breathed, her voice barely above a whisper as she pressed a kiss to the soft crown of her son's head. "Our beautiful son."
Aemond leaned in closer, his hand reaching out to gently stroke the baby's cheek.
As Vaelys cradled their newborn son in her arms, she couldn't help but marvel at the striking resemblance he bore to his father. The baby's features were a perfect reflection of Aemond's: the same strong jawline, the same piercing amethyst eyes and even the hint of a dimple that appeared when he puckered his tiny lips.
"He looks just like you, Aemond," Vaelys whispered, her voice filled with awe as she gazed down at their son.
As the tender moment between Vaelys, Aemond, and their newborn son lingered in the chamber, Maester Garrick, with a gentle yet expectant tone, interjected, "Princess, my Prince what shall we name this precious babe?"
Vaelys fell silent for a moment, her eyes flickering between the babe in her arms and her husband beside her. In that silent pause, there was a quiet reverence, a sacredness to the decision that hung in the air. And then, with a certainty that settled upon her like a warm embrace, she spoke.
"Aemon," she said softly, her voice carrying a weight of reverence and love. "His name is Aemon."
Aemond's breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening in stunned disbelief. For a moment, he was speechless, overcome by the honour and significance of the name chosen for their son—a name that echoed his own.
"Aemon," he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, as he reached out to gently touch his son's tiny fingers. "It's a perfect name."
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bratshaws · 1 day
Text
through the hourglass 377. brb x oc
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THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT! IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 PLEASE DO NOT READ!!!
a/n: EHE well(comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: god so many. Rooster, office sex, Rooster is a kinky man and we are all here for it, Bea is also kinky for her husband. Both of them are just horny.
goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)
chapter
1/
/316/317/318/319/320/321/322/323/324/325/326/327/328/329/330/331/332/333/334/335/336/337/338/339/340/341/342/343/344/345/346/347/348/349/350/351/352/353/354/355/356/357/358/359/360/361/362/363/364/365/366
/367/368/369/370/371/372/373/374/375/376
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“Roos!” she whispers harshly, looking around the cold, quiet base as he opens the back gate - the same one they entered through back when they dated. “Baby, is this a good idea?” he just smirks at her as the gate whirrs open weirdly quietly, considering it’s the middle of the night.
He is giddy, like a teenager, and he holds out his hand, “Come on.”
Beatrice hesitated for a moment, uncertainty flickering in her eyes as she glanced around the deserted base."Roos," she whispered again, her voice tinged with apprehension. "Are you sure about this? What if we get caught?"
Rooster's grin widened at Beatrice's concern, his eyes shining with excitement. "Don't worry, gorgeous," he reassured her, his voice low and teasing. "We'll be fine. Besides, it'll be just like old times."
“I was nervous back then too!” she says, then sighs, taking his outstretched hand, her fingers intertwining with his as he led her through the open gate and into the darkness beyond.
As they walked through the base, memories flooded back to Beatrice in a rush of emotions. She remembered the only time they did this, how important it was for him…and her obviously. She had no idea what he was planning. "Roos," Beatrice whispered, her voice filled with uncertainty. "I'm not sure about this. Maybe we should turn back."
Rooster stopped in his tracks, turning to face Beatrice with a reassuring smile. "Hey, it's okay," he murmured, his voice gentle. "We’ll be in my office.”
“...your…office?” she echoed, her voice filled with confusion. "What are we doing there?"
Rooster grinned mischievously, his eyes twinkling with something. "You'll see," he replied cryptically, taking Beatrice's hand once again and leading her towards the building where his office was located.
Rooster stopped in front of the door to his office, his hand hovering over the doorknob. He turned to face Beatrice, his eyes soft with affection. "Are you ready?" he asked, his voice filled with anticipation.
Beatrice nodded, her heart pounding in her chest. She had no idea what Rooster had planned, but she trusted him completely. "I'm ready," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
With a grin, Rooster pushed open the door to his office and gestured for Beatrice to enter. She stepped inside, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight before her.
It was just his office. Plain and simple.
“Oh.” she hears him locking the door, “Oh, I mean, it’s very nice.”
Rooster stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "It is," he murmured, his voice filled with love as he kisses the side of her neck. "And we’re alone in it."
Beatrice couldn't help but blush at Rooster's closeness, her heart fluttering in her chest as she leaned back into his embrace. "Yes, we are," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
Rooster's hands trailed slowly down her arms, sending shivers down her spine as he kissed her neck. "I've been thinking about this moment for a long time," he admitted, his voice husky with desire. "Being alone with you, just like this"
Beatrice turned in Rooster's arms, her eyes meeting his "What did you have in mind?" she asked, her voice tinged with curiosity.
Rooster smiled at Beatrice's question, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I thought we could …work on some fantasies…" he replied, his voice low and teasing. "If you want.”
“Oh?” Beatrice's heart skipped a beat at Rooster's suggestion, her cheeks flushing pink at the memory. "What sort of fantasies,LC?," she whispered
Rooster's smile softened as he looked into Beatrice's eyes. "You know…fantasies.”Rooster leaned in closer, his lips hovering just inches from Beatrice's. "Stuff I know you’ll like too," he whispered, his breath warm against her skin. "Because every moment with you is a gift."
Their lips met in a soft, tender kiss, igniting a fire that had been smoldering between them for years and never once stopped glowing. It was a kiss filled with love and passion, a promise of things to come. She moans in his mouth, hands cupping his jawline as he picks her up by the back of the legs.
She squeaks - no matter how often he did this, it’s still surprising nonetheless - and laughs in his mouth as he places her on his desk, pressing a trail of hot,open mouthed kisses from her lips to the curve of her jaw, his mustache tickling her skin, “Roos…” she gasps, feeling one of his large hands cupping up the softer part of her waist, then climbing up until he reaches her left breasts, brushing his thumb over the sensitive flesh.
Beatrice loved her husband, she loved Bradley so much..but sometimes his ideas neared crazy, “Roos,” his lips drag down the column of her throat and she gasps, “A-Ah, wait–” he stops, mouth on the hollow that connected to her collarbones, eyes flicking upwards, unmoving, “I…” she gasps, slowly tilting her head towards him ,”Is this…is this the idea…you had for a while?”
His lips smack on her skin as he pulls back, “Yes.”
“For how long.”
He purses his lips ‘...a while.”
“How long is a while?”
“How long have we been dating?”
Her lips part in surprise because,well, that makes some sense. Her response however is swallowed up and turned into a quiet moan when his lips drag down to her cleavage. She has to fight back from being vocal because - what if someone is around or close by? Not that he’s going to complain, he does love when she’s vocal but if she’s not, he’s okay too.
He’s just that great.
“You know,” he sighs as he stands up, shrugging off his jacket and that crisp white shirt just clings to his arms, “I kept thinking of ways I could bring you in here, the first time you came here and brought everyone snacks? Fuck babe, took everything in me to not lock you inside.” he hums appreciatively as he runs his hands up and down her thick thighs, the movement lifting the dark fabric of her dress up to the crease of her thighs.
“It’d be strange to tell Mav about it.” she whispers.
Her husband just offers her a look, “Let’s not talk about Mav when I’m about to eat you out.” he says and she bites her lower lip in hopes to hold back a smile. She feels something poking her back and turns around enough to see a few pencils and pens right by her middle, benign careful to push it aside and not make it messy.
Rooster pushes her a bit further and she widens her eyes when she drops something, unsure what it was, “Relax,” he whispers, “It’s okay,we’re locked in here.”
“...wait so…there are people–Rooster!”
“Sssshhh…” he coos,kissing her lips and lying her down on the desk, his hand sliding down to her panties, feeling the lilac colored lace touch his fingertips as he brushed over her mound. She whimpered, canting her hips upwards for his touch, “This is going to be fun.”
“I-I don’t want you to g-get in trouble.”
“Hmmm,I won’t.” he says again, voice so deep it made her whole body vibrate. He nuzzles her chin with his nose, then pushes her panties’ crotch to the side to rub his middle and ring finger against her lower lips, not fully entering yet.
Beatrice moans, slapping a hand over her mouth as she watches him. He stops for a second, “Hold on.’ and he rolls his sleeve up to his elbow, “Better,we both know how messy this can get.” she can see the lines of muscle on his forearms, the dark blonde hair adorning his skin almost shining golden because of the faint moonlight.
He supports himself on the desk, dark eyes watching her expressions as his lower lip slides into his mouth. “You look so fucking good.” they dart all over her body, all over the flushed goodness that was her curves, “And you are still clothed.”
Not for long.
He slides his fingers inside her, eyebrows raising in amusement, “Oh,what is this?” he pushes his digits upwards as she gasps, “Already so,so wet for me. Always,right gorgeous?” she whimpers his name and nods,clenching the hand closest to her face while her eyes close. And truly, to say she was dripping it’d be an understatement. 
Thank god he didn’t have carpeted floors. 
But then again, he didn’t care about that right now.
He lets his gaze linger down her chest, seeing the dress still clinging to her skin in hopes to keep some of her body hidden…he didn’t want to rip it, but he also didn’t want to have her body away from his gaze. So, with his hand still between her legs, fingers moving in a slow,wave like motion, he whispered “Lift up your hips.” and she does, immediately, because not only that added extra pressure inside of her, but also helped her in removing her dress.
He smiles once she’s bare,well,partially, she still had her panties on, but the dress didn’t need a bra. And her breasts just moved as she breathed heavily, eyelids low and mouth flushed from biting so much ,”Perfect.” he pulls his fingers out just in time for Bea to whine loudly in complaint, but her whining was cut short when her legs were lifted.
Soon enough her crossed feet were touching his back and she lifted herself just enough to see him between her legs. Honestly if there was a better vision she didn’t know. 
God he was attractive.
He smirks, wasting no time in burying his tongue deep inside of her. Beatrice’s eyes rolled back, fingers twitched as she held onto the desk’s edge, white knuckled and all. Rooster’s deep,pleased groans when he began just made her whole body shudder. His tongue moved inside of her, then outside, then around her clit only to repeat it several times.
Rooster’s hair was so beautifully combed she almost felt bad for digging her fingers between the strands, but she knew he’d love it too.
Just a tug to his scalp and her husband was mush.
He groaned, openly and loudly, into her, making sure she could feel the way his voice shook her whole body and added to the pleasure of his tongue on her. Beatrice cries out in return, only to slap her hand over her mouth again “R-Rooster.” she bites her hand in hopes to control herself.
Her eyes widened as his hands cupped the underside of her thighs, pushing her forward, folding her over like a pretzel so her knees were touching the desk, right besides her ears. Beatrice’s breathing quickened because she could see so much of what was happening. She moans again,this time holding the opposite edge, trying so hard to keep her eyes open only for them to flutter shut at a languid lick from bottom to top.
He chuckles, pulling back with a wet smack, “Good?” she nods, “Come on, gorgeous, you gotta use your words.”
She furrows her brows, gasping out a ‘yes.’ as he kisses the crease of where her underwear and her actually sex meet, biting the elastic and letting it go accidentally, “Sorry,” he whispers when she lets out a quiet ‘ow’ “Maybe we should take this off,baby.”
“I-I’m okay with that.”
“Hmm,I’m sure you are, turn around for me?” He drops her legs so she can stand up - and Jesus he has to give a few steps back because seeing her, partially naked in his office, was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. She flips her hair to the side before thumbing the edges of her underwear and he watches as it rolls down, then snags between her thick thighs, only for it to fall at her feet again.
She kicks it aside, “Better?’
“Almost.” and his hand swoops down to her ass. The slap echoes around the room so hard she was sure someone else heard it. She cups her mouth to hold back the startled yelp and look back at Rooster with wide eyes, only for him to cup her jaw and smack a kiss to her lips – one that tasted just like her, “Now.” he smirks, tapping the area he just hit gently, “I got an idea.”
“A-Another one?”
“I’m full of ideas and if it was up to me we’d spend the whole night here, but,alas,” and he steps away and around the desk, settling on his chair. He leans back, spreading his legs just enough and she blinks at him, “...is this okay for you or–?”
“You want me to suck you under the desk,don’t you?”
His dick twitches, “Yeah.”
“I mean,” she tosses her hair to the side again, “I’m okay with it, I just wonder if you’ll be able to get any work done remembering I was under your desk.” she giggles when he groans, he hadn’t thought about that, “...Roos, is this really okay? I mean…I..I am happy with it,I just worry about you.”
And his horny gaze softened as he tilted his head, “...baby,c’mere.” he coos, tapping his lap, “C’mere, sit down.” she does and the contact of her naked flushed skin to his slacks was really good. He kisses her cheek, then her temple, before nuzzling her cheek, “I love that you worry so much about me.”
“Course I do.”
“But believe me, this is tame compared to some shit.”
“...oh.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t have to go into detail.” she says, quickly sliding off his lap to kneel in front of his open legs. He stares down at her face between his legs and he has to hold himself to the best of his ability. “Besides,” she smiles, unbuckling his belt, “We’re busy here.” and he sighs happily, lifting his hips just enough for her to tug the pants down his legs, shoes were long forgotten as soon as they entered his office.
She bites her lower lip, hooking her fingers on the elastic of his black briefs - the fabric straining and stained because of him- gently pulling it down. He bobs out of it, leaking already and clearly begging for attention, “Oh.Well.” she smiles, scooting closer to him, closing her eyes as she kisses the underside, earning a shaky gasp from her husband. “So…what are your orders,LC?”
He snaps his head back down, eyes unfocused, “What?”
“Your orders.” she smiles, “What am I to do if you don’t tell me?’
Rooster’s pupils swallowed his irises and his mouth parted open ,”Fuck I love you so much.” he says breathlessly, then leans back on his chair even further, “I’ll leave it to you, I like being surprised,” and his brain was mud, he couldn’t focus on orders right now.
“Hmmmm…” she hums sweetly, wrapping her fingers around him and dragging her open mouth up and down his shaft, the warm breathing hitting the sensitive flesh. He tries to keep his eyes open but seeing her, under his desk, like how he wanted for so long…was almost too much. She smiles more, kissing his feverish skin again, licking her way up to the flushed tip and pecking it, with a wet smack.
Rooster clenches his teeth, “Fuck…baby I–holy shit!” she slides him into her mouth without worries, too many years of practice, she was no longer nervous around him and my god did she love to experiment. Rooster’s chest heaved as he tries to contain his moans, nails gripping his chair handles as Beatrice’s lips reach mid-length then slide back up.
Only to repeat once.
Twice.
Three times.
When her lips touched his navel,however, he was almost combusting. The muscles on his legs were quivering as he tried to calm himself down while still moving his hips to meet her face. He dared one look down and those green eyes, shining like stars with the flushed face as the background, just squinted at him. He sighs, one of his hands rubbing her cheek, “You still take my cock really well.” he groans, “Fuck,I’m glad you never lost the need to do it.”
Was he making sense?
Who knows?
He surely didn’t. He could feel himself about to snap, curling his fingers and clenching his teeth as Beatrice’s fingers touched between his navel and inner thigh, almost touching pressure points there, “F-Fucking h-hell…” he whispers/growls, “Fuck baby,if you keep up with this I’m going to fucking explode.”
She hums happily, popping him out of her mouth but still moving her hand up and down his length, “And you don’t want that?”
“As much as I love your mouth.” he grunts, “And I do…I still wanna fuck you on the desk.” she stops the movement, smiling up at him and crawling from under the desk. He is breathing hard, his shirt is sticking to his back and chest because of sweat. She slowly sits on the desk, then leans back so her breasts are popping out more, and parts her legs.
He mutters a ‘jesus christ’ before making a movement to pull off his shirt, “No,” she stops him, “Leave it on…I like it.” nevermind how hot he was, he didn’t care. He didn’t give a shit. If his wife liked it, hell he’d wear his fucking winter uniform,jsut for her. Her lips curl into a smile when he slams his mouth against hers, grabbing her left leg to prop the knee on his shoulder. 
That means she was folded, again, but partially, her free legs was hanging by the desk and she wasted no time in wrapping it around his defined hip bones. He smirks, nuzzling her nose, “Ready?” she nods, “That’s my girl.” he purrs, grabbing him by the base and slowly pushing it inside. Thank god their mouths are still touching, because the groan that left their throats was filthy…and the sound coming from their connection too, of course. 
She whimpers, looking down at where they joined while supporting herself with one of her arms. Beatrice just meets his gaze, eyes never leaving his as he starts to move. He was so beautiful, and so brave and strong and kind. She just wraps her arms around his neck to kiss him again, nevermind if that only made her leg hurt just a bit, she oculd handle it.
“Oh god.” she gasps, “It’s been…a while…” she mutters, “Fuck Roos.”
“A while?” he smirks, tilting his head, “I think I need to up my game, considering we fuck every two weeks…or whenever it works.” she just fumbles an apology, because she got obviously confused for obvious reasons. Rooster sighs,his hands on each side of her hips to have some leverage as his hips move.
But he had to admit, this one…was different. A good different. Considering where they were and how he had just been promoted too. “God, gorgeous.” he gasps, hips gently slapping against her inner thighs as he smiles, “Fuck I just love how snug you are. And wet. And nice…”
“R-Roos…”
“I’ve been dreaming of this for so long.” he continues, dragging his thrusts just so she cries out in frustration and ecstasy, digging her nails on his clothed shoulders, “Fuck, and you are okay with this – even if you are worried…fuck I’m so lucky.” 
She whimpers again,the leg on his shoulder clenches as she holds herself upwards. “R-Roos,god….I…”
“I can’t wait to come to work and always remember that you were here,” he sped his movements a bit, “Whispering my name,naked, wet, taking my dick so nicely.” and she gasps, slapping a hand over her mouth - her inside clenched. “And so good, like you always do…fuck you are perfect.”
Beatrice’s channel clenched again and a shaky hand was now between her teeth. Her knuckle was being bitten hard. “I’m going to make you cum so hard.” he smiles, pushing her back on the desk so she’s once again like a pretzel, his golden brown hair was sticking for his forehead and temples, “I’m going to make sure you’ll be all over.”
Her eyes widened and she could barely come up with a sentence, especially when he started to grind his navel against her clit. Beatrice’s eyes closed as her head leaned back, the soft smacking of skin on skin wasn’t as loud as it usually was…but it was enough. Rooster wasn’t going to last much longer, he knew that, he was well aware of how much power she had over him.
And he wouldn’t have any other way. He grunts, speeding up his thrusts, “Are you about to cum?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Good.” he says, “I think I’m going to cum all over you.” she laughs breathlessly, he always got mouthy when he was close, “Or in your mouth,” the image was almost too much, his eyes nearly rolling back,  “O-Or just inside, fuck…god…” 
It’s the one thrust that pushes her to the edge and Beatrice bites down on her palm, legs spasming as her orgasm hits with enough force to make her see stars. Rooster watches fascinated, mouth parting into a smirk as he goes after his own orgasm, “Fuck I love you so much.” 
“I love you too.” she whispers, cupping his face, “I’m so proud of you Roos.” that did it. He hunched over her and screamed into her shoulder, thrusting sporadically with his orgasm making all of his muscles melt as a wave of calm heat darts from his feet to his head. It’s like..he feels fuzzy, that’s the best way to describe it. 
Once he’s done, he lets her drop her leg down and they stay like that, immobile, trying to regain her breathing. Her hand comes up to touch his hair and he shudders, feeling her fingernails scratching his scalp, “...this was the best promotion gift ever.” he confesses,breathing hard and she laughs, just as breathlessly as he was.
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sofusgirlart · 1 day
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Snakey man :>
Yup, I'm still on my hazbin fixation.
✨️Please reblog if you like my art, likes are lovely, but only reblogs gets art seen✨️
Small rant on art theft within fandoms under the cut.
Can I just say...
I see so much art theft in the Hazbin fandom (especially on tiktok) it's honestly kind of upsetting to me.
I see people posting absolutely gorgeous fanart, but when i go to see iff they have more, they just have tons of art in different styles, clearly not drawn by them, not credited to the original artist or "credited" as "im not the original artist" or "credit to artist"
And even when it is properly credited, its often done without asking permission and/or withour tagging. Like, at least tag if the OP is on the same platform you're reposting to so people can find them easily.
And for the love of god, if you're gonna repost, at the very least ask permission from the artist. I know this has always happened, but it's been an honestly shocking amount in this fandom compared to others ive been in. I have not had my work stolen personally, but people, come on! Basic decency here, ask permission and give credit! Some people even deliberately crop out signatures and watermarks.
I even saw someone reposting a compilation of stolen art, none of it tagged, and "hoping it would get to people's fyp". People spend hours making fanart, often for free, and sharing it because they truly enjoy it and want to share that with others, only for someone else to steal it, get the credit, and not even direct any of that traffic back to the artist.
please, please, check what you are supporting before leaving comments praising the art and begging for more. please seek out the original artists.
Also, if you can't figure out who the original artist is, don't repost it. it's not that hard.
Sorry for the rant, but it's been bugging me for a while.
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Falling Slowly - Chapter 9
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Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader
Word Count: 3500+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 
Notes: So I thought this may be the last chapter. It's not. Because I'm me.
**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!
❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)
→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)
**Reader is not described
Main Masterlist
Falling Slowly Masterlist
Tommy Miller Masterlist
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Raiders. I’m honestly surprised it’s taken this long for someone to find us. But I thought, or assumed we’d be mostly ok, hidden as well as we are. Joel and Tommy are always extra careful whenever they have to venture out further than our property to scavenge, making sure they aren’t followed. But they’ve only seen people once and that was years ago.
Sarah and Jax move quickly into the hall closet where Joel and Tommy had made a secret hiding place behind a back panel. Tommy hands me a shotgun and squeezes my hand, trying to reassure me that it will all be ok. But I don’t see how it will be. 
The cabin is silent, but getting louder is the unmistakable sound of a truck, no, trucks. Joel and Tommy exchange a look, moving to stand by the front door but well hidden behind the shutters. Rose and I wait in the hallway, staring at each other as we listen as hard as we can. The trucks park and we can hear muffled voices getting out of them. Joel peeks through the slot on his side and whispers to Tommy, but I’m close enough to just hear it. 
“It’s Mr. Jones.”
Mr. Jones? The man who sold us this cabin? We should be ok then, right? I chance a glance around the wall and watch as Joel’s posture changes, his face hardening even though his back is to us. 
“He’s with the Raiders.”
Why is Mr. Jones with raiders? Was he captured? Why would he come here, to a cabin he’d sold us long before the outbreak? 
“What’s the move?” Tommy looks at his brother, waiting to see his reply. Joel stands another moment, watching the men get out of the truck outside. 
“Just follow my lead and stay quiet. If it goes south, take the kids and the girls and get out.”
“I won’t leave you-”
“Tommy.” It wasn’t a suggestion, but a firm warning, and by his silence, I know Tommy complied. 
Joel takes a deep breath and unlocks the door, carrying his shotgun loose in his hands, pointed down, but still ready to go if needed.
“Hey, Mr. Jones. It’s Joel. Joel Miller.” 
There’s silence for a moment before he replies. I have to strain to hear him properly. “Holy shit! Joel? It’s really you?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh! Wow, never would’ve guessed. Everyone make it out ok?”
Joel pauses for a moment, like he’s thinking how to best reply. “We survived the outbreak.”
A chuckle. “Well that’s amazing news!” There’s a slight lull in the conversation, a heavily weighted pause.
“Can I help you all with something?” Joel asks.
“Ah. Well see, I’d forgotten about this cabin, having sold it to you so long ago. Well, it feels like a long time ago. So much has happened…..anyway, I remembered we were setting it up to be off grid and I hoped you all had continued that, maybe have some supplies? I didn’t think you’d actually be here.”
“What supplies do you need?”
“All of them.”
There’s a more weighted pause before Joel replies. “Yeah, I can’t help you with that.”
“Well now, I think you can.”
This isn’t like Mr. Jones. Not the sweet man and his sweet wife who just loved the Miller brothers. Mrs. Jones especially adored Tommy, as she often told him he reminded her so much of a brother she had lost when she was younger. I can hear Tommy grip his gun harder and I glance at Rose, both of us locking eyes in the understanding that we may have to book it down the escape route rather quickly if things escalate. 
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jones. I would be happy to trade with you, but I can’t just-”
“You know, the only reason you’re still alive is because my wife loved you guys so much. Tommy especially. He reminded her so much of her brother Gabriel. She wouldn’t have wanted anything bad to happen to you.”
“Is she ok?”
Another pause. “She…didn’t make it past outbreak day.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. She was a good woman.”
“She was. But, now you see my predicament. I don’t want to hurt you out of respect for my wife. And I’m assuming you have a lot of resources, considering I’m fairly positive your brother and your kids and wives are all hiding here too.”
“So what do you propose?”
“There’s no need for bloodshed here. There are many of us and a few of you. Still, I wouldn’t want to upset my wife.”
“Alright then. You and your men can just go and we’ll forget it happened.”
“Ah, well. I do have responsibilities to my men too. They also have families and needs…how about this: we leave you all here with your supplies, but you and Tommy have to come work for us. Only when we need you. We could use your construction expertise but also your, apparently steady trigger fingers.”
A long pause. “Can I have a moment?”
“Absolutely. We’ll be here, in good faith.”
“In good faith.”
Joel’s heavy boots tap against the floor as he moves back inside, gently closing the door almost shut behind him, his peripheral trained on the men he can see through the crack. Joel calls to use and Rose and I join our men in front of the door. 
“Well?” Joel asks, looking at all of us.
“How many men are there?” Rose asks. “I’m a pretty good shot.”
Joel shakes his head. “There’s at least 10. And they mentioned families so I think if they didn’t return, more would come.”
“We could just leave? Throw a few things in some backpacks and head out the tunnel with the kids?”
“And go where, Daisy?” Joel’s dark eyes meet mine. “There’s nowhere around for miles and these raiders are bound to go looking around. Not to mention the damn infected. We can’t give this place up.”
I know he’s right, but still. It had to be said.
“I don’t like this, Joel.” Rose takes his hand and squeezes it. “I don’t want you gone for God knows how long.” 
Joel lifts her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. “I know. But we have to do this to take care of you. All of you. Tommy?” Joel looks at his brother, but I don’t have to look to know what his response will be. Tommy will do anything to protect Jax and I, no matter what.
“Yeah. We gotta protect ours.”
Joel nods at Tommy. “It’s settled.”
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It was almost 2 weeks before they came back, just one vehicle, Joel and Tommy gathering up their backpacks, nerves visible in their features. Joel went around back to grab another tool bag and Rose and Sarah followed him. Jax was still asleep upstairs and Tommy had already said goodbye to his sleeping son. He slides his arm through the other strap and I adjust his flannel shirt, picking at it in an attempt to do something other than cry. 
“Hey.” Tommy lifts my chin with his finger and gently presses his lips to mine before pulling back to look at me. “I’ll come back. I promise.”
“Please be careful, Tommy. I love you so much, I can’t…I can’t lose you. Not again, I-”
“Hey, darlin’. I love you too. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”
He pulls me to him and I nuzzle into his chest, inhaling his scent, letting it permeate my brain as it tries to memorize everything about him. But then Joel walks back inside, handing Tommy another tool bag before moving to the front door. 
“Be safe.”
“You too.”
Rose, Sarah, and I stand together in the doorway, watching Joel and Tommy get into the truck, not knowing when they’ll come back.
Or if.
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The first few times they went, they helped the raiders build some additions to their compound, fortifying their defenses and just general maintenance and repair. I had asked Tommy if no one there knew how to do any of this, as it seemed pretty odd that in a compound of the size they discussed, that no one knew how to do something as simple as switch out a doorknob.
“Yeah, normally that would be odd. Except, they’re all rich people.”
I look up at him from where I had been snuggling against his chest. “What?”
He nods. “Yeah. Before the outbreak, all of these people had money. I’m talking loaded. Lots of them telling stories about it. So they’re not used to doing things for themselves.”
“So the rich people are raiders?”
He shrugs. “Guess maybe they couldn’t cope with doing without. So they just started taking.”
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About 6 months in, the raiders come to collect Joel and Tommy, this time for an actual raid. They promised they’d be careful, looking out for people and clickers. But I don’t like it. It was bad enough them going to help the raiders build their home. But this?
They don’t return for nearly 2 weeks. 
Before, they were gone at most 4 days. Byt the end of the 2 weeks, Rose and I were ready to go charging the base and probably would have if it wasn’t for Sarah and Jax. 
They returned in the middle of the night, the kids fast asleep. Rose and I were still awake, having a hard time sleeping without them here. But the sound of a truck was unmistakeable in the quiet and we carefully headed downstairs, peeking out the slot in the shutters that Joel had looked out before, making sure it was really them. Joel and Tommy hopped out of the truck, slinging their bags over one shoulder without so much as a glance behind them. But my initial wave of relief at the sight of them quickly was replaced by concern as Tommy gets closer and I can see the hunch in his shoulders, his eyes on the ground. Something had happened. Something bad. Rose opens the door and Joel steps inside, Tommy following behind him as Rose closes the door. They drop their packs and kick off their boots, stowing them in the little baskets we had placed by the door.
“Tommy?” I reach for his hand but he snatches it back, not quite meeting my eye.
“I need to shower.”
I was stunned. He had been on some dirty construction sites, even building for the raiders, and not once has he never kissed me when he came home. Out the corner of my eye, I see a similar conversation happening between Joel and Rose, Joel following Tommy upstairs. 
“What the fuck happened?” Rose whispers to me, her eyes on the stairs where Joel had just been.
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem good.”
I pop my head in the kid’s room, checking that they’re still asleep. I should stop calling it the kids room as Sarah is nearly 20 now. But they’re both so attached at the hip, I forget that she’s so much older than him. 
I close our door behind me, hearing the shower click off as I kick off my house shoes. I sit on the bed, quietly waiting for him. Tommy emerges from the bathroom, towel slung low around his hips, his hair wet and curly, sticking to his neck and forehead. He turns to the dresser and grabs a pair of boxers and puts them on, tossing the wet towel in the basket. He sits next to me on the bed, still not looking at me. It’s almost as if he’s..ashamed?
I cup my hand to his cheek and lift his face to mine and immediately have to choke back tears at the look of defeat in his eyes. “Hey. I love you.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I love you too.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to give details. But fuck, Daisy, I…we had to do some shady shit and I don’t…But it’s to keep you safe so I will, but-”
“Hey, hey,. It’s ok. We can just leave. We have the truck and we have more time now so we can load it up and-”
He shakes his head. “Joel’s right though. They’ll come looking for us. Especially now.”
“What do you mean especially now?”
Tommy looks down, picking at his fingers. “We were good at our job. Joel more than me, but they liked how good of a shot I am.”
“Tommy. Look at me.” It takes him several moments but he does, his eyes watering. “I love you. I love you no matter what, ok?” He nods but like he doesn't believe me. I place my hands on either side of his face and pull him to me, pressing my lips to his. 
And to my surprise, he melts into me, one hand coming up to tangle in my hair, the other gripping my hip as he deepens the kiss. He turns his body, pressing me down into the bed as he lays on me, kissing down my neck, goosebumps erupting down my arms. I know this isn’t a healthy way to cope but it seems to be what he needs and honestly, I need him. I need to hold him, know he’s here with me, solidly here. He pushes his hips against mine, my back arching as he nips at my neck, his hips rocking faster and faster, chasing his high. His hands are everywhere, sliding over my skin, gripping me, touching me, his lips drawing paths across my body. My fingers tangle in his curls, my legs wrapping around him, urging him deeper, faster until finally lights erupt behind my eyes, my whole body tingling as I moan his name, hearing my own echoed back at me as his hips sputter against mine. He presses his forehead to mine and takes a few breaths before he pulls out, allowing me time to use the bathroom first. When he’s done, he slides into bed and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his large arms around me, my back pressed into his broad chest, his nose in my hair. 
“I’m here if you want to talk, but I’m also here if this is what you need. Whatever you want, I’m here, Tommy.”
“I know. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
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Every time they leave, I swear a part of them doesn't come back. Joel seems more aggressive. Not to us, but just...angrier. Tommy's shoulder's slump, his smile often not reaching his eyes, staring blankly out at the trees as he relives whatever horrors he's had to do.
It's when the last bit of life in his eyes snuffs out that I decide I need to do something.
I'd always told him he could talk to me and sometimes he did. I know he hasn't told me everything they've had to do, and I don't expect him to. I've asked him to leave before, but he always said Joel never would. That he couldn't leave his brother. But after 5 years, it finally took that last little bit of him I had left. I couldn't continue on like this. We couldn't continue on like this.
I come back into the cabin, washing my hands in the kitchen sink, before I head back outside, walking down through the trees to the dock, knowing I'd find Tommy sitting at the edge of it, glass of water clutched in his hand as he stares blankly out at the water, a million miles away.
"Hey, handsome." I sit next to him, gently placing my hand on his thigh and giving it a light squeeze. He blinks rapidly a few times, coming back to present before looking at me, smiling slightly.
"Hey, beautiful."
I place my hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb over the bit of stubble that had grown in the last few days. "Are you here with me?"
His dark eyes meet mine and he blinks. "I am."
"Come with me?"
He cocks his head slightly to the side as I stand up, offering my hand out to him. He takes it, the warmth from his large hand seeping into mine as I lead him off the deck and back into the woods, down a path he'd taken me years ago. Albeit I was blindfolded, but I'm not bothering with a blindfold this time.
It had taken me a few days to figure it out, setting up the tent and blankets just like he'd done for our anniversary not too long after...well, after. I thought for sure he'd know where we're going but if he does, he says nothing, his fingers still laced with mine as we walk around trees and over roots. When the clearing appears and he sees the tent, he stops walking. I look back at him and am met with a blank stare.
"Tommy?"
"What..what are we doing here?"
"I thought it might be nice to get away for at least a night."
His jaw clenches. "Shit, did I miss our anniversary?"
At least he remembered why we had been here before. "No. I just...come sit with me?" I take his one hand in both of mine, pulling him slightly towards the blanket I had spread out. He pauses for a moment but then acquiesces, kicking off his boots and stretching out his long legs on the blanket. I kick off my own boots and sit next to him, hesitating before taking his hand again, feeling him lace his fingers through mine.
"I love you, Tommy."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
I told myself I wouldn't cry, that I'd be strong. But when I looked at him, his eyes staring at mine, and I couldn't see that light, I lost it. Giant drops fell from my eyes, splashing against our entwined hands.
"Hey, hey Daisy. What's wrong?" He drops my hand to place it on my cheek, cradling my face with both hands.
"I..can't...can't..."
He pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and I finally feel safe, secure, like he's fully here with me in this moment. It takes me a few minutes to calm down, but he's patient with me, always so patient, just holding me and letting me sort myself.
"We have to leave, Tommy."
He doesn't move, still for a long moment and so I sit up, drying my tears on the back of my hand.
"Daisy, we can't. I told you, Joel won't-"
"Every time you guys leave, a part of you doesn't come back. I know you're having to do terrible shit, more terrible than the crap you've told me about. And I've supported you as best I can, but Tommy, I feel like you're finally slipping away from me and I can't pull you to me, and I can't lose you, I just can't. Not again. I won't survive it."
"Oh darlin'. I'm right here."
I look up at him. "But that's just it. You're not. Even when you're here, you're not. This last trip. Something took the last bit of light from your eyes and I-" a sob ripples up from my throat and Tommy immediately pulls me to him again.
"You said you're protecting us. But who's going to protect us when you're gone, Tommy? Even if you're alive, you can still be gone. Please. We have to go."
A drop of water hits my cheek, but it's not my tears. I turn my head up and see tears freely flowing down Tommy's cheeks. This time it's my turn to hold him, press him to my chest as he cries. It's several long minutes before the sobs stop, the tears finally drying. My fingers are still tangled in his curls, gently patting him and lightly scratching his head. He sits up, wiping his eyes on his arm.
"I'm so sorry, Daisy. I thought I could handle it."
"Hey. You're so fucking strong. Most people would've cracked by now."
He smiles weakly. "I would have, if it weren't for Joel." His face falls. "He'll never leave, Daisy. He's convinced this is the safest option."
"Tommy, we can't continue on like this forever."
He nods. "You're right. I gotta take care of my family and that's what I'm gonna do."
"What if Joel won't come?"
"He won't. I'll make the offer to Rose and Sarah, but I'm sure they'll stay. But we'll still go."
"You sound like you have a plan?"
He's quiet again, his eyes going far away for several moments before looking back at me.
"Actually, I do. I've heard about this freedom fighting group called the Fireflies."
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nekoannie-chan · 2 days
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Exhibition
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Character: Steve Rogers.
Word count: 220 words.
Rating: Teen.
Summary: Steve is thinking about the Smithsonian’s exhibition.
Major Tags: Doubts, little sadness.
Additional tags: This is my entry to @catws-anniversary CA:TWS 10th Anniversary Event with the prompt:
"The Smithsonian."
You can read it on Wattpad and Ao3 too.
@saiyanprincessswannie
My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.
I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.
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Steve left the proposal documents on the table. He didn't know what to think, but he had to say that at that moment, he could feel the gaze of Tony, Fury, and other government agents on him, waiting, not so patiently anymore, for him to make a decision.
He wasn't entirely sure that the exhibition about him at the Smithsonian was an idea, but he also didn't like people following him wherever he went. Maybe he could divert attention to the exhibition.
“The profits..."
“We thought it would be a good idea to give some of it to a veterans' association," Nick interjected.
“Sounds good," Steve said. “About Bucky..."
“We have permission from his sisters' descendants."
“I'd like to have a space dedicated to him in the exhibition," Steve asked.
The others looked at each other and nodded.
“You don't have to be there every day, Cap; if you want to, just on the opening day, you could give a speech; you can choose what you want to be displayed and what you don't," Tony said.
Steve smiled a little. He had only wanted to help his country, and now that he was facing the possibility of having an exhibition at the Smithsonian, maybe he could use it to honor the memory of his friends and colleagues from that time.
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