#i don't feel comfortable in my own body | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

screaming--agony · 2 years

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Dear Diary,

I can’t stand how I look. I really can’t. No matter what I do, I don’t feel comfortable in my own body. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I feel disgusting.

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uncanny-tranny · 6 months

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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant

#positivity #pro aging #also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye #saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end #i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks #it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging #in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom #as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you #older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake #and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints #and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself #and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older #but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences #and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body #i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was #i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it #and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World #it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living #inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH #didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????

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yesmissnyx · 8 months

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are you okay with transmascs? i’m very much a boy but i still like the idea of my breasts sometimes

At the risk of sounding sappy (or worse, fake and pandering), I want it known that I love all varieties of transness and trans bodies.

I love queerness and androgyny. I love when men have soft breasts and women have wide shoulders. I love when bodies are worn with love and freedom and pride and self-expression.

I love it. I love to see it.

It makes me happy 💓💓💓

#Also...yeah! I get it! Idk man. Gender is weird! Bodies are weird! Dysphoria is weird!#'Nyx' isn't EXACTLY me but not NOT me?#My dommesona if you will. My hot girl disguise I wear on the internet for fun. A means of feeling sexy in my meat suit.#I don't want to get too into the weeds with my own identity because this isn't the space I want to talk about it but...#I'm perfectly comfortable being thought of as a woman by people who are only interacting with this facet of me.#However I am a queer nonbinary person and no amount of me being a ~lady~ online is going to change that. Yanno?#ask nyx #nyxrambles

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selvepnea · 5 months

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Been thinking about my body a lot

#Sel talks #Listened through Fat Talk by Virginia Sole-Smith which talked a lot about how bodies are tools #And the way she talked about how thin-ness shouldn't be something we strive for #And I can't help but draw parallels between my own desire to go on t? I don't know. Been having too many thoughts stewing #I keep coming back to isabeau's line of “maybe it was easier to change into someone I could love than to learn how to love how I was”#And I had drawn both hrt and diet culture back into this; but. Neither of them are from self love?#It's. Idk; a friction? On how you perceive yourself and how the world perceives you?#Or. Idk idk. It's hard to articulate now that I'm trying to get it down #If I remember right; one of the messages of fat talk was how bodies should be for function first and foremost; and should hardly-if ever-#Considered for aesthetic. And yes- trying to loose weight is one of the most damaging aesthetic changes you can do-#Idk! I feel like I'm looking too far into it #Something something you're not happy with how your body looks/is perceived so you want to change it #Whether that's influenced by society; loved ones; or something biological; it's still a desire to change your body #Although one is vastly more accepted than the other #Trying to become thin is trying to make yourself more comfortable in a vastly fatphobic world; to placate the people think they have say #Over your body; make yourself more palettable to the world around you.#Which I guess is an important distinction #Becoming the person you want to be even through everyone telling you that it's wrong or disgusting #But a part of me can't help but think a part of the reason I want to do hrt might have something to do with our male centric society?#I'm too tired to elaborate any further but I feel less busy now that I have it out

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niishi · 9 days

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I'm actually starting to get really tired of ppl ignoring that I'm 1.genuinely fat 2. have body dysmorphia and dysphoria. I'm tired of ppl saying "this is cute" and it's not my taste at all. or "this is cute" and I have to say "that won't fit me" and then they argue with me about how "what? it looks like it would fit you, you should try it 😀" I'm also tired of being fat and having skinny ppl tell me about how fat they are. y'all need to stop trying to trigger eating disorders in people. be fucking for real. and then ppl wonder why I isolate more and more and more.

#my body doesnt match who i am at all #i don't feel comfortable or properly represented in my skin at all #im already autistic and hate how my skin feels on me half the timr #and on top of that i have to constantly hear about beauty standards #and constantly have to hear ppls opinions about my bidy and my self expression #im rlly tired of no one thinking about ME and how theyre effecting MY feelings and mental health #and no #sorry #im not going to constantly bring it up and remind ppl that i deserve support and understanding #ppl close to me need to do that on their own and recognize that on their own #i need ppl to stop forcing me to put my own issues on the back burner so they can take center stage in MY story

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touchingmadness · 2 years

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Seeing people writing about, constantly getting excited about, or (within fandom) making headcanons about characters who shy away from physical contact with the help of their friends and/or romantic interest can be... frustrating as a touch averse person.

Give me stories where friends and/or significant others respect boundaries and check in with less touchy characters.

Give me stories where they're allowed to say no when someone wants to hug them or hold their hand.

Give me stories that don't inherently treat a character shying away from touch as just being touched starved and needing a little love to fix them.

Sometimes people just have sensory issues and need their boundaries respected.

#touch aversion #sensory overload #writeblr #i don't care if you love me and want to comfort me #i mean i do!!!#that's really sweet of you!!!#but part of that has to be you doing it on my terms #and accepting that ~normal~ methods of love and comfort tend to worsen my distress #it's not me being standoffish #it's me having a fundamentally different relationship with touch and my own body than you have #anyway this is why it's so important to me that #tch: eris #is touch averse #most narratives would label that as something to fix #and use her hugging people as something to show her development as a character #i refuse #there's nothing wrong with those storylines #but god there's a lot of them and sometimes the tonality with which they're handled makes me feel inhuman #and not in the usual fun way that i like to embrace #wip: touched

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justonefeather · 1 year

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I don't know how to say "my gender is something nonhuman and not able to be comprehended while adhering to our current society's standards of what men and women are supposed to be, never mind the fact that my preferred form is not a human body at all" without the other person being concerned...

#It goes beyond furry really i just don't feel like I'm human at all. I never really have #And i don't mean not a person although when I'm very depressed or the PTSD is hitting i get that too #I mean a non human person. But people either think I'm severely ill or joking when I say that and i unfortunately(?) am not #It's not even like I'm kin of a media species or person or whatever. I just don't see myself as human but i could draw it #I don't know how to put it into words. It sort of shapeshifts. But its core is the same #But either way when i look at myself in pictures or the mirror i don't recognize it as being me. I know it is logically but #It feels like I'm inhabiting a body that isn't mine. Like I'm in a costume or playing a game #Its kind of distressing sometimes but I've basically learned to live with the feeling. I probably will never own my body and idk #It's fine i guess. I don't know what it's like to be comfortable in your body or love it or whatever. I don't know if i ever will #And I've kind of given up hope on that changing. All i can do is pretend it doesn't bother me and keep going #Although i guess that's my outlook on.. everything lol #Whats the opposite of learned helplessness.. saying it's self reliance sounds too good.. it's more like learned lack of trust

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thornedswan · 6 months

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I don't get how...people don't comprehend that I don't wanna do T because of my own reasons and worries

#tae.txt #Like...it's complicated mainly because I am 100% scared of surgery and my main dysphoria comes from my chest #like the MAJORITY of it is from my chest and anything else I am just personally terrified with undergoing because my body is already shit #as is kfhdjdhdjej and I'm also sad because I likely wont even be able to reduce chest/remove etc due to my intense fear of surgery #the last time i went under anesthesia was terrifying for me :D djagkegsksgs #so yes I am sad that there is a likelihood that i wont remove these things!!! but it is what it is because I am absolutely terrified #so I really don't get why people are so angry for those who choose not to do T for their own personal reasons and worries...#the only thing I firmly believe is that people should do what feels most comfortable to them— so long as they are able to feel good in #themselves whichever route they take with or without T because in the end it's their body and if you wont respect me without T then??#anyway trans ranting end #this fellow is tired. I only want to feel as comfortable as I can even if everything else disagrees

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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On the topic of hormones, I love trans men, transmasculine people, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes estrogen and trans women, transfeminine, abinary, multigender people, or whomever else who takes testosterone.

There is no "right" way to transition. You don't have to be a perfectly binary, gender conforming trans person in order to take hormones. We all have different levels of estrogen and testosterone, and that means women and nonbinary people don't have to have estrogen-dominant systems and men and nonbinary people don't have to have testosterone-dominant systems. Do what sparks joy and if it's shit, hit the bricks!

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i think people who take 'nonconforming' hormones for their gender are so cool 👍#and it's made me so much more comfortable in my own relationship with hormones and my body and how my identity plays into it #because my sense of self is nuanced but i was always under pressure to think 'i'm a man so i can ONLY have testosterone in my system'#and that's shitty because at that point i couldn't transition medically and i felt like less of a man #but the people who are so commited to breaking gender apart with their teeth have made me so much more comfortable #i wish somebody could have been there to tell me my hormones didn't dictate my entire sense of if i'm a 'real man' though #also this isn't an attack on trans men/masc people taking testosterone and the inverse for estrogen #sometimes i see people reading way too into these posts and assuming that the OP is saying they hate 'conforming' trans people #(i'm a trans man* who is transitioning 'conformingly' if anybody is thinking the tags previously are true)#(also i am very content being a trans man who takes testosterone so my gender doesn't feel threatened when a trans man takes E y'know?)#(you don't have to understand it but you DO have to treat them like human beings who have bodily autonomy)

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running-in-the-dark · 8 months

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in summer I always miss the cold - being hot feels bad, and I like colder weather much more. but now it's actually getting colder and I forgot how much it just.. hurts? like my whole body just hurts. at least covering myself in blankets (and cats) and having my heating pad on helps, but damn I did not miss this part.

#it stings all over #and it's not that cold!! barely any colder than last week!#ugh #having a body sure does suck #also I hate that I don't seem to have the ability to get warm on my own. without my heating pad I just stay cold even with the blankets #I'm always too hot or too cold. there's like. maybe ten days out of the whole year where I feel comfortable #personal

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wrecking · 8 months

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crazy how i actually bounced back from my 3 day funk almost immediately after the calendar date was over. back to being parasocially obsessed with men 🫡

#d #in my defense. i want a boyfriend so god damn badly #it's either wanting a boyfriend or being way too self absorbed right now bc that's just where i am right now #like in early transition i'm finally liking my own body and feeling comfortable with myself and my thoughts #so like imo i think it's so understandable that i'm kind of just. heavily in my own head as of late. like sorry i finally moved in proper #i also just have a ton of emotional energy i can't direct outwards because i don't have anyone who can fill the roles i want rn #sooo yeah #gn mutuals (7am) hair dye this afternoon 🥰

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butmakeitgayblog · 9 months

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I made the opinion about not thinking she smokes based solely on her looks and thinking she would be too vain to put that in jeopardy 😂 then, you brought the receipts. Not sure which eagle eyed fans even spotted her in that pic 😂 🥸🧐🧐🧐

You mean the LA one? Oh that was just a pic she was tagged in from back after she got home from Italy, if you scroll her tagged section on IG it pulls right up, no sleuthing required lol and the cigs pic from Paris Marny posted so again just kinda out there. I just didn't notice the pack and lighter next to her cuz I was too busy thinking 'nother damn picture of their food 😔' so it didn't jump out at me at all 😅

And honestly as much as I think Alycia does appreciate and is confident in her looks, I don't get the feeling she particularly gives that big of a fuck tbh ykwim. I mean she hasn't gotten any big cosmetic surgery even tho she could, not even her teeth or anything. Probably just some light botox, maaaaybe a little filler? It's so hard to tell these days because cosmetic surgery has gotten so good. But yeah I get the feeling she's someone who's gonna go the route of maintenance work and just aging as is and not really freaking out over it. But who knows, only time will tell

#anon #for the record #please don't anybody come in my inbox knocking cosmetic surgery #i think it can be a fantastic tool for people to feel comfortable in their own bodies and if you can afford and want it you should #so yeah I just don't even wanna start that

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origamiyoda · 1 year

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OH boy family xmas today........ cant wait......

#Im gonna blow this whole place up #mentally preparing for uncomfortable comments and conversations ❤#No I dont have a boyfriend I don't know how to explain to you that I dont feel comfortable enough in my own body to even consider dating #leo yells #I cant wait for 5+ hours of hell and headaches

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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I'm on hiatus from thinking for the next while. Discursive and analytical fandom practices I love you so so much you are in everything I do, including the silliest of headcanons and comics but FUCK I am not equipped to think about. Anything right now

#ramblings of a lunatic #tbh my art muscles are exhausted too so i think I'm just gonna. be a bottom feeder for a little while.#like a deep sea creature letting plankton drift into it's mouth on the ocean floor yknow #hard to do when half your dash is about stuff u are not a part of and the other half is abt the fandom that's in hiatus #and approaching it's finale (and the end of a show should NOT be the end of a fandom it should NOT but. i know how these things play out)#and i can't just rewatch the episodes bc I've literally seen them too many times now #and watching them is like. oh hey episode! blink. it's over #bc everything is MEMORIZED AT THIS POINT #the obvious answer would be to go watch something else rn but i keep TRYING AND IT'S NOT WORKING. I ONLY WANT THE SPRINTEREST RN #but i also don't if that makes sense. i want the spinterest to be new but also comforting and different but also the same #aka i want a new episode to release bc i dislike the quiet fandom during hiatus BUT i don't want it to air bc then the show is over #so I'm just kinda. sitting here. frustrated #sitting on all my art and text posts bc I'm in a funk rn and none of them feel Right™#bc (CIRCLING BACK AROUND TO THE ACTUAL BODY OF THIS POST) they're all my usual hc/analytical fair #but i like to always have a good sense of character when i make those but those require REWATCHES FOR ME and i CAN'T REWATCH #BC OF ALL THE ABOVE THINGS I MENTIONED #oh man. i feel a bit better writing it down though. getting it out there somewhere in a semi-articulate way #I'm not done with my current hyperfixation- far from it depending on how the show ends- I'm just pre-bummed about the finale #and how it's gonna impact the fan environment that normally supplements my own fan activities like rewatches fanart etc #ohhhh my god that felt good to explain #it's to no one in particular but it felt good. this talking about your feelings shit actually works man #anyway please pray for me that i go to sleep some time tonight bc i slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day #after staying up the previous night #and i do not wanna throw my sleep schedule too far outta wack #(i think..i need to watch more movies? less commitment than series but distract me for a good bit. send reqs ig!)

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the-punforgiven · 2 years

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It's like 9am I wasn't expecting a second sleepless night in a row

#I've gone through a huge emotional rollercoaster already earlier in the night I'm off the ride and stable now #I'm just really REALLY tired and numb listening to music I don't like #and wanting to draw something far out of my comfort zone that I know I'll hate for some reason #I am always at my worst when I'm listening to uh #I don't know what this music even is it's like super harsh very crunchy edm and I don't like it #it feels like some shit you'd hear at a cybergoth rave #while desperately searching for the exit because you realized most of the attendees are vampires who just caught on that you aren't one #you're feeling the effects of something you took earlier and it's hitting you hard #though you got them off a vampire so there's a good chance you'll be feeling the effects of prion disease after the high wears down #the exits are locked and your vision is faded #you see the long batlike shadows of the attendees closing in #your vision's going dark and the attendees look like silhouettes with the loud flashing lights behind them #the music's slurring in your ears and you're so dizzy you can barely stand #you head throbs and your heart beats to the rhythm of the music that consumes all other sound #the incoherent mass of silhouetted bodies creeps closer and you can smell the blood in the air #their features are so blurred and distorted by the lights the music and your own shitty vision you can barely tell what you're looking at #yet somehow #their teeth are crystal clear #this song sucks and I feel actually physically sick #not sure if thats from the song though lmao #Pun's text Posts

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