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yoinkschief · 8 months

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Hello Jay, I would like to hear your headcanons about Tom and his mom 👀👀👀 Go on, speak into the mic 🎤

AAA HI NEIL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED

Taps mic 🎤 ahem

Buckle in cause this got absurdly long I did not expect to get this long omll

So I guess I'll begin when he was younger,, when his mother and father first got married they were just going into their 30s, and while weren't actually trying for a kid they did end up having one: Tom

Barbara (Tom's mom) was ecstatic at having a kid whereas Peter (Tom's dad) was terrified, he knows he has anger issues and is very aware of how he's gotten easily frustrated with children in the past and doesn't want to get angry towards his soon to be son (though Barbs has been a dear with helping him and his anger, truly he'd be in jail by now if not for her)

Fast forward a bit, Tom's born and while Peter isn't magically cured of any anger issues, Tom is just the sweetest little guy and he, genuinely throughout his fatherhood, has not once gotten angry at his son. Gotten angry a good few things, but his son and wife weren't in that list

Tom is also born completely nonverbal (this is a little reference to how 2004 he's drawn without a mouth,,, I know that all the characters are at this time because mmm animation but in most fanart of 2004 only Tom is the one kept without a mouth because that and his one eye gives him creechur vibes I love it so I incorporated it like this) due to his autism, and he did get formally diagnosed early on due to this

It's a bit of a struggle trying to figure out what he's saying but he's a quick learner for how to read and write so if he can't get what he's trying to say through hand motions or actions he'll go and write it down (at least when he gets around 5yo, the years before were hard and they had to learn a weird, Tom version of sign language,, to clarify not actual sign language just learning what motions of his mean what)

One interaction I think about a lot with Tom and his mother is in Tom's youth when he's, maybe, 4? And he sees his mom shave her hair for the first time. Tom didn't like the sudden change as she looked like a different person and was having trouble understanding why it was gone

It took Barb a while to fully understand what he meant, why he was crying and whatnot, but finally able to sit him down in her lap he started making a lot of motions towards his own hair and then Barb's, and the interaction goes something like this:

"Are you talking about my hair?" Barbara quietly concerns, gesturing to her now bald head.

Tom made small grunts with wide eyes, rocking in his mother's lap incessantly.

"Okay, okay," She nodded holding her son's hand gently in her own- less so holding and more resting them in her own. "It's gone, baby."

Tom didn't seem to like that answer, shaking his head no with his hand reaching up to grab and tug at his his in distress. His eyes were screwed shut, why would his mom do that? But Barbara was quick to respond with carefully holding her son's hands again, their fingers interlaced as he squeezed on her hands instead in his temper.

"You don't like that it's gone?" She tilted her head to the side, bringing Tom's hands away from his face and towards her chest.

He shook his head no with an upset grunt, swinging his hands (and by proxy his mother's) side to side to drive the point further.

"Ohh,, pumpkin," Barbara gave Tom a sad smile, resting their hands in her lap as she gave him a small, reassuring squeeze.

"It’ll be alright-”

Tom hated that answer more, giving a frustrated noise as his eyes started welling with tears.

“Honey,” Barbara frowned at the tears coming out of her child’s eyes, it hurt to see him so upset, gently running her thumb along his cheeks to swipe them away. “I’m still mama, I’m still you mom.”

She led Tom’s hand over her heart, letting him feel the steady beating of it. The constant and steady pattern of thumping seemed to entrance him for a moment until his mild rocking and distressed noises slowly came to a halt.

“See? It’s still me, baby.” She cooed, running her thumb along the back of her son’s hand. “My hair is gone, but I’m here.”

“Sometimes, in life,” Barbara began, setting Tom’s hands down in his lap again now that he was calmer. “things change, and we can’t control it. Like my hair, you couldn’t control that, could you?”

Tom looked up from watching his hand feel the steady movement of her heart pumping, looking up at his mother’s face. He still looked displeased and upset, but less so, even going as far as to reach for where her hair used to be, trying to grab at the air around her head like it was still there. Fruitless.

She held his hand again, pressing it against her cheek with a broad smile, one she gave him often. He couldn’t keep his resentment for long, giving his own goofy smile back with a giggle. The way her gap tooth showed when she smiled that big was forever burned into his memory, only disappearing from her face so that she could kiss the palm of her son’s hand.

Tom shook his head, frowning at the thought but keeping a wide eyed expression to his mother as she continued her lesson. She smiled to him once again.

“Well, that happens a lot in life.” She sighed, cupping Tom’s cheek in her hand. “And no one likes it, you’re not alone for thinking that. But what you can control is how you deal with the change. Like how you showed me how upset you were, so now we’re talking about it. Do you feel better about it now?”

Tom took a moment, eyes casted down as he thought on it. He gave a small nod as he looked back up at her.

“Good.” She beamed. “And from now on, I’ll do my best to let you know beforehand when I make a change like that, alright?” She kissed Tom’s forehead, causing the child to give a small giggle. That was her favorite noise.

Now, Tom was always a Mama's Boy (not in a derogatory way, he just loved his mom a whole hell of a lot) but even moreso after his father died. They both were grieving and so it caused them to cling closer together because of it, to the point that had it not been for his friend (at the time only Matt, but later Edd too as this was before Tord was introduced to the friend group) he probably would've completely self isolated

They do a ton of things together as Tom gets over and they both eventually heal from Peter's death, baking, sewing, shopping, watch movies, anything they can do when they have the chance to hang out together

They were so close in fact that Barbara was genuinely the first person he came out to for being nonbinary (He/They pronoun user :) ) and of course she loved him unconditionally, but he didn't even tell Matt, Edd or Tord (now in Highschool and having been introduced to delinquent) that yet

However, later in his highschool years, around late Junior year (11th grade) or early Senior year (12th grade) of highschool his mother dies as well. Not from a freak bear with a gun attack though, instead from Pneumonia, which is something she tends to get a lot and always had in her youth, and while it usually isn't fatal and there is treatment and whatnot and she definitely took as much as help as she could, this time just hit different it seemed.

This really fucked with Tom during some of his most important years of his life and caused him to go into a BIG depressive episode for a long long time

Side note that I guess also kinda applies: Had it not been for Tord being just as stubborn of a jackass as Tom, he would've completely self isolated. Edd and Matt helped a lot in his youth but he also had his mom to encourage him, but now with his immediate family all gone he didn't see much of a reason to interact with people. And where Edd and Matt lack in persuasion, Tord more than makes up for in the lack of giving a fuck and would literally drag Tom outside even if he was kicking and screaming. This is mostly because Tord is second only to Tom himself in how durable he is, like a brick shithouse (built like one, too) and not afraid to make Tom hate him if it meant getting him better in the long run (a running theme I have for their relationship :) they're less so "GRR I HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE /GEN" and more of like have this weird understanding with eachother where like "I'll literally kill you if you touch me but I'd kill anyone you touched you" type beat, unafraid to get the other to hate them for the greater good because they have the understanding that they wouldn't do something so wildly stupid for no reason. Yes that plays into The End and the future events of WTFuture)

I love them so much oh my god you have zero idea

Anyway, TL;DR

Tom and his mom are extremely close and helped each other get through the worst of times while Tom continues to learn the lesson of "everything changes, it's out of your control, and you can only control how you proceed with it"

#jay talk #jay answers #also i just wanted to add: the reason Tom's mom is bald has nothing to do with any sort of illness or genetic disorder #she just was like “fuck it” and decided she wanted to shave it off #i know that sounds weird but i try to incorporate it in the way she dresses too #i chose this because one: [insert bowling ball joke here]#and two: to show her openness as a character and that's got nothing to obscure who she is #not wearing layers. usually not wearing long sleeves unless it's cold. same thing with pants and they're usually skinny if she does #character design is my passion and psychoanalysis is my game I'm sorry you have to deal with it lol #i really need to draw her more i love Mrs. Barbara Inkwell #and thank you Neil for asking this #I'm bursting at the seams /pos #and I'm trying to get back into the writer grind 💪💪 so this helps lol #sorry it took me so long to respond to this ask lol got my creative mojo back so I'm grabbing it by the reigns and multitasking #to the best of my ability without burning myself out that is #i guess i'll add the ew tags cause this is like a headcanon rant so #eddsworld #ew #ew tom #tom #ew tom's mom #tom's mom #ew oc ?#barabara #barbara inkwell #peter was mentioned #fun fact: he took barb's last name cause he despised his own last name :)#also her name's inkwell and that's sick as fuck #eddsworld headcanons

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spaciebabie · 3 months

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good morning im still fucking deranged. sorry. feel free to ignore this if its too much

im thinking about springtrap being so blissed out he becomes really giggly and shameless, just agreeing with anything you say and asking for more and pleading with you every time you stop for a second, either to give your hands a break or just to tease him. and this is so far from how he normally tries to present himself that it's both kind of amusing and endearing, and EXTREMELY satisfying to bring him to that point, to think that YOU are doing that to him, YOU are reducing the big scary monster to a melty giggling puddle. rgrhhagrhgashDGGERRHFHDGRRRRGRGRRRRRRRRRR IM GOING TO START BARKING

do not even get me started on the springlocks. it's about the closeness. the intimacy. the psychological aspect of getting pleasure out of the thing that killed you. it's about the DANGER, yanking your hands away before they snap closed and savoring his reaction. it's about the sensation being so much and hurting a little bit but feeling so good. it's about letting someone do that to you. it's about trusting them with that. i have this specific scrap of dialogue that is running CIRCLES in my head rn of him saying "it hurts..." in this dazed tone and replying with "do you want me to stop?" and he goes "...no" and then i rock his fucking world. DO YOU SEE MY VISION

wow who said all that aha must have been a gnome

you and me bro......we shaking hands cuz holy SHIT YOU GET IT YOU FUCKING GET IT. BIUG SCARY MONSTER DUDE REDUCED TA JUST A WRITHING GIGGLY PILE OF PLEASURE OH MY GODDD YOU GET IT YOU UNDERSTAND

#SPRINGLOCK FUCKING FRP THE WIN OHHH MY GOD #THIS ASK MADE MY HEAD SPIN IT MADE MY HEAD POP CLEAN OFF MY FUCKING BODY #GONNA USE IT AS A BOWLING BALL AND WHOOPSIE!! STRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUZ YOU'RE RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MONEY #spacie splains #ITS ABOUT HIM FEELING PLEASUIRE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 30 YEARS ITS ABOUT THE TRUST ITS ABOUT HIM WANTING AND BEGGINF FOR IT #ITS ABOUT IT HURTING BUT HURTING SO GOOD IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #I HAVE TO PACE ABOUT THIS....I NEED TO GET UP AND WALK AROUND.#fave ask #fave fave fave #fave #dont mind meeee coming back ta this ask every once in awhile b/c YOU PAINT A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE #I SEE YOUR VISION IM IN YOUR MIND YOU'RE CASTING YOUR BRAINWAVES ON THE WALL THRU YOUR EYES LIKE #A GODDAMN PROJECTOR #NEED TO EAT DRYWALL ABPOUT THIS IM GONNA TAKE A BITE OUT OF MY WALL #YES!!! BIG SCARY GUY PERSONA FUCKING SHRIVELS WHEN YOU'RE AROUND YES!!!!!!!1 YOU MAKE HIM SOFT YOU MAKE HIM VULNERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!#im gonna be sickkkk imSO FUCKING SICK #best ask ive ever gotten about this. SERIOUS.#IM SERIOUS BUSINESS ABOUT FUCKING THAT OLD MAN #''do you want me to stop?'' ''...no.'' sLAMS MY FUCKING HEAD ON THE TAB #RAAAAAAAAAAAARHAGRHAGRAHGRHHGAGRHAGHRGAHRGHARGHAGRHAGRGAHGR4 #SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS #SCREAMS #SCREAMS SCREAMS

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darkwingsnark · 1 year

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Email: We're ALL excited about the Super Bowl!

Me: No I am NOT, you dirty liar.

#snark life #radda radda radda #keeping this out of the tags #because I don't ant people actually in the sports ball fandom to be upset #^want #since i am happy they have their own thing #but boy howdy do I get tired by spam mail making assumptions about me #also just hate the noise and hubbub #not my thing #super bowl

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lorenzosmicropp · 10 months

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Pov: ur staring at me after you told me The Valentino Rossi liked your spaghetti so much that he personally took you out for drinks and a meal

#just talking to the chef at work and he mentions he used to work for a catering company that went around with motogp races #and hes met So Many Motherfuckers #apparently Iannone was the Worst and he did not like him at all #n e ways hes met dovizioso hes met rossi hes met the lowes twins hes met simoncelli AND he has a bunch of signed f1 shit bc his BIL works #in da pits for mclaren ???? this motherfucker used to do everything !!!!!#n e ways one time he was doing catering for yamaha and The Rossi asked for the chef bc he liked da spaghetti so so so much tht he wanted to #treat whoever had made it ?? so he wined and dined my chef :')#i am being so normal about it :^))#my chef was kicking his feet and twirling his (imaginary) (he is super bald) (like a bowling ball) hair whilst he was telling me #and now he works in an old folks home with Me >:]#and also his cousin is an Olympic gold swimmer ???? and he was in the news before i knew him from work bc his house got crashed into by a #kis w they mommys car #this dude knows everything hes done everything one day hes gonna come in and be like yo uno D.B Cooper ? that me dad #this shit is insane #n e ways <3 #im not dead i just got a job </3 #this weekend is the first race im not working since i started :')#also i dont know what rossi was on about my chef is funny but his food is Bad <3

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valdrinors · 1 year

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Monster

Skye is an average 16 year old girl. She likes art, animals and being in nature. Well, she has to like the last one, because she's lived in a jungle environment for as long as she can remember. A jungle environment with strange, sentence-repeating people that couldn't see her. And that's where Skye becomes a bit more than average.

Skye had been used to this for the first couple of days or weeks that she was there. But recently, she's become desperate for actual communication and interaction with people. Well, people who aren't just her talking to her reflection. Enter a group of strange travellers... All of which can see Skye.

Skye's world is about to change quite rapidly. Finding out that she's not only supposed to be a sentence-repeating NPC in a video game, but that she's an anomaly in the game's programming is the least of Skye's problems.

Now, along with the group of teenagers in adult bodies, Skye must help them navigate Jumanji to defeat Van Pelt, get the Jaguar's Eye, and leave the game. To make things even sweeter, the gruff jock-turned-zoologist starts to take a shine to Skye...

Taglist

@darth-caillic @sterling-writes @ryutabas @reirvival @arrthurpendragon @foxesandmagic (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)

#ocappreciation #ocapp #ochub #queerocs #OC: Skye #story: monster #shiny skye alert! i finally found a pretty good tutorial on how to make that effect #and it looks really pretty #the green eyes are an effect lol she doesnt have green eyes in canon #but i wanted to give her a shiny appearance!#also i do want to show more of skye glitching lmao #the only 'glitching' she did made her too much like amber lmao #skyefridge is also the funniest pairing lmao its basically #manic pixie dream girl and male tsundere #with nearly everyone going 'fridge youre making it too obvious youre in love with skye wtf is wrong with you?!#(they do end up kissing at the end of the first story bc <3)#skye's like 'hey i know you wanna leave but so we dont forget each other' *smooch*#although in the sequel bc fridge dropped a bowling ball on the game poor guy gets an angry skye #but its like that scene from enchanted where giselle is like 'im angry! isnt that wonderful! :D'

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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hello i just wanna say i genuinely like ur observation about nishiki's fighting style and then ya manage to bring it back to ur 'drug addict nishiki' headcanon like it caught me off guard but im also not surprised that is so fair and real of u okay thank u

In a world where drugs dont exist, nishikiyama’s strength comes solely from his anger and i guess he goes to the gym too

#Thanks for the ask !#Yakuza loveblog #its not a headcanon his voice actor said so before he so does drugs and he does it to escape his terrible life ratpark style #i would in fact be more surprised to learn that nishikis rawdogging life i mean hes definitely not religious and i guess he has alcohol but #thats not enough for what he has to endure. we have to give him meth we have to let him do coke #like i have no reason not to believe he goes to the gym because he is literally vain and i bet he works out till he gets a six pack all #one my life sucks two my life sucks on the bench and he drags kiryu there too even though he hates going to the gym because it stanks and #the aircon is always blowing at the worst spots and the overhead lights oohhhh cant stand the bowling alley either he throws the ball as #hard as he can and it doesnt even touch the runway before its smashing into the pins thats why the y5 bowling completion is so easy he #wants to get out of there asap. im off track see everything goes back to kiryu i always neglect nishikiyama. like even kazamas like heres #some drugs now leave me alone and hea like hmm do i snort this or sell it. oh well SNNRRRT. like there is absolutely no reason for his #entire fighting style to be heavy attacks unless hes wired like crazy and its because hes so pissed off all the time plus hes teeming with #like. cocaine. hulking the fuck out. thats why kiryu feels so safe around him because he has every reason to believe that in a pinch nishik #i can grab someones head and pop it like a grape in order to save his life hes seen it happen before it wasnt just because he feels #comfortable and in sync with nishikiyama he literally has seen him punch someone so hard their skull caved in and hes like okay !#thats why he loves fighting him so much its because if nishiki punches him in the head he’ll just have to wake up the next morning in pain #its so fun trust me on this you need to be punched by your brother right now or youll die

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yoohyeontual · 7 months

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Round of applause for Alex, I’m going to bed before 1am 👏👏👏👏

#well after I put on my pyjama it will probably be 1am but that’s still great for me jcndjdnd #will I fell asleep before 4 am though ? still have to found out 🤪#please wish me luck im’ exhausted my body is in ruin #also please send someone to beat up my neighbours if they start playing their music before 11am #cause they are capable of doing so and you are all probably aware of how loud they fucking are I said it enough time 😭#i hate them so much #they probably gonna make me up at 11 like all day this week cause idk what they are doing but it’s like they are dropping a bowling ball #every 5 minute in the room above me I’m tired #you probably think i exaggerate but I’m not i never met anyone as loud as they are I can’t even believe it myself #my dad had enough and left a note on their door translated cause they woke up my mom at like 6-7am the same way to the point she yelled and #hit the ceiling which we never done cause we don’t want problems we want peace 😭#but if they still continue to be as loud it’s gonna be a call to the landlord cause the neighbour above them is also tired of the music #and if we call the landlord they will be force to move out cause it’s their 3rd warning since they moved here 😅#and they only moved her in like April ??? pretty sure the previous one moved in April idk but I miss him so much I want him back 💔#anyway Goodnight it’s gonna turn 1 am in 5 minutes love y’all 💓#well fast edit they are doing right what they are doing on the morning so I don’t think I’ll be sleeping for a while unless the fact #that I’m exhausted take control of my body 🤪#I jumped 3 times in 5 minutes 🤪#alex.txt

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nazumichi · 2 years

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like maybe if you spent more time and effort pronouncing the “j” and “ñ” and “ll” sounds right, maybe you could make your way over to the obviously so much more important “Rolling R Sound.”

#raii talks a lot #or simply don’t simply skip right to it and I’ll roll your head like a bowling ball and we both know damn well you’re going in the gutter #“how do I roll the r” legally not allowed to answer that because I know you only want to do it for the whole “sexc latino” thing #you will learn when you learn and you won’t learn it’ll come to you in your sleep and you’ll wake up and be able to do it #or maybe you’re like me and won’t ever know how to do it but at least compensate by pronouncing all the other sounds right. at least #top ten classes that I’d really enjoy more if the people in them weren’t the biggest fucking idiots alive #could’ve gotten out this situation so easy if I’d made an effort to become fluent in it when I was younger and when my mom actually wanted #to teach me but no. hit with the adhd beam and it went in one ear and out the other. how are you all btw

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toastsnaffler · 1 year

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istg one of these days.......

#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game #one of my fave posts ever in the world #anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me #its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush 😭#ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that 😭😭#like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay #bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS #anyway my resolve weakens with every 😘 emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!!#its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought #so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy #but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr #itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST #i wouldnt do that to him god forbid #buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am #this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night #need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:|#its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves #i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good #ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone #muah all round #.diaries

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skeletalheartattack · 2 years

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Hi the tags on your reblog about nullification make a lot of sense to me! I don’t think it’s weird to want that. I don’t know if it’s possible but I’m no scientist. You’re not alone and I’m not even saying that as an asexual <3 it’s much to think about even if it only exists in thoughts it can lead on a journey

thank you so much honestly 🌺🍀🌹🌸!! ive had someone dm me about nullification and that it's definitely possible to surgically do what i'd want done, and it honestly makes me feel so nice knowing that some day i'd be able to realistically fix my bottom dysphoria the way i'd want it done. it's not something i'd be able to achieve anytime soon but... it's validating knowing that it's able to be done and in the way i'd want it.

#ask #anon #thank you so much for the kind words #having a null honestly sounds so fucking comfortable to me ever since i learned about it long ago #like i could be so. aerodynamic.#plus not much in my life would change without meat. yknow except like.#being able to look in the mirror after a shower and not want to avert my eyes #which. sounds so fucking nice.#i think itd take a bit for me to get use to if i had nullification surgery but. thats growth babey #i also hope in life someone can accept me in the way i would be at that point in life #like my asexuality. i dont want anything to do with like. how sex is as it is but like. hey if you wanted to grip me like a bowling ball #sorry im getting into TMI territory. i usually try not to write this kind of stuff #but yeah. thats how id feel most comfortable in that way.#also having my bottom dysphoria fixed means i wont have any more obvious weak points #id be more powerful and also have huge breast forms #anyway sorry if my tags are a little weird for some folks. i just like being able to clear my mind.#but thank you anon i appreciate the support :)#one day i'll be Absolutely Gender.#he/him/queen with huge feminine boobs. nullified. and wearing anything that lets me slay #😤 one day i'll get some arm warmers and thigh highs and absolutely slay the way i was meant to #you can thank Zarbon for me wanting to wear arm warmers and thigh highs so badly. or whatever youd call what he wears

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hecksupremechips · 4 days

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I’d do anything to have my shoulders massaged goddamn

#the klock keeps ticking #they hurt so bad :(#and i try to massage them myself but hnnnghhh using force with my hands is really difficult nowadays and also its just bad angles #very hard to do and not very relaxing #it always feels really fuckin nice whenever i do massage them though and it just makes me really mad that i cant properly massage them #i need someone to rub my shoulders now 👺#preferably someone i wuv and trust because i dont want anyone else touching me but also damn i need the massage so bad #that id be willing to take anything like drop a bowling ball on me i dont care #i try to practice good posture the best i can and i do frequent stretches but idk maybe im not doing them properly #i think the main problem is just the way i sleep like i just cant seem to win

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esleep · 6 months

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i actually do kinda like delivering groceries on the side because it gives me such a unique cross-section of the community. i never know whose groceries im shopping for until i finish the delivery and see them/their home and it's like it adds more detail to the picture of who they are. the baby supplies going to the apartment that i know for a fact is one bedroom (they'll be moving soon - i bet they're apartment hunting, i hope they find a place). the new cat litter box, bowl, and kitten food going to the house covered in "i <3 my dog" paraphernalia (a kitten definitely showed up on the porch recently and made itself at home). the fairly healthy boring grocery order that includes an incongruous tub of candy-filled ice cream going to the home of an elderly woman with toddler toys in the yard (it's clearly for her grandkids, whom she sees often).

shopping for someone else's groceries is a fairly intimate thing. i've bought condoms and pregnancy tests, allergy medicine and nyquil, baby benadryl and teething gel, a huge pile of veggies paired with an equally huge pile of junk food, tampons and shampoo and closet organizers and ant traps and deodorizing shoe inserts and a million other little things that tell a million different stories in their endless combinations. one time someone had me buy one single green bean. i messaged them to confirm that's actually what they wanted, and they said yes - neither of them liked green beans very much, but they had a baby they were introducing to solid foods, and they wanted to let him try one to see if he liked them. another time i had someone request 50 fresh roma tomatoes - not for a restaurant, but for a person in an apartment. the kitchen behind them smelled like basil and garlic when they opened the door. another time i brought groceries to three elderly blind women who share a house. that was one of the few times i have ever broken my rule and gone inside a place i've delivered to, because they asked if i could place the grocery bags in a specific location in the kitchen for them to work on unloading and there was no way i was going to refuse helping.

i gripe about the poor tippers, but people can also be incredibly kind. one time i took shelter from a sudden vicious hailstorm inside an older lady's home in a trailer park, while i was in the middle of delivering her groceries. we both huddled just inside the door, watching in shock as golf-ball-sized hail swept through for about five minutes and then disappeared. she handed me an extra $10 bill on my way out the door.

when covid was at its deadliest, people would leave extra (often lysol-scented) cash tips and thank-you notes for me taped to the door or partially under the mat. i especially loved the clearly kid-drawn thank you notes with marker renderings of blobby people in masks, or trees, or rainbows. in summer of 2020 i delivered to a nice older couple who lived outside of town in the hills, and they insisted i take a huge double handful of extra disposable gloves and masks to wear while shopping - those were hard to find in stores at the time, but they wanted me to have some of their supply and wouldn't take no for an answer.

anyway. all this to say people are mostly good, or at least trying to be, despite my complaints.

#long post

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