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sweetwritertanya · 4 years

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Perfect Timing

Summary: Taehyung wakes up alone in bed but soon finds you roaming around in the kitchen… almost nude. And a particular remark on your part leads him to uncover a certain kink he wasn’t even aware he had.

Warnings: SMUT! With a hint of fluff, like it’s my usual, but it is 95% smut! Beware of: swearing, erotic body touching, dirty talk, fingering, oral (female receiving), handjobs, marking (just a tiny bit), size kink, breeding kink, unprotected sex (well, duh. But be safe IRL!!!), kitchen sex, doggy style, multiple orgasms (female receiving)

Word Count: 3894

Taehyung woke up slowly, barely opening the lids of his eyes before closing them again to protect from the low light coming in through the small breeches of the blinds. He felt his body hefty and tried to fall back asleep, but his mind was already too much active for that. Rolling over his body, his heavy hands searched around the bed for another figure, your fluffy warm physique that he particularly loved holding in the early mornings. But you were not there, the bed cold without you, even in the warm summer morning.

Frowning, he opens his round sharp eyes just a slit, noticing the moved empty sheets on your side of the bed. Stretching and yawning, Taehyung reaches for his phone and realizes it’s already past ten in the morning. After a few minutes checking his social media and answering a few text messages, he decides to get up.

Getting out of the bedroom, clad in only his boxers and an old red t-shirt, he moves silently down the hallway as he hears rummaging in the kitchen. Peeking his head in the doorway, he smiles and stays slightly hidden from your field of view. The unmistakable scent of freshly made pancakes filled the air and he was sure you had been preparing breakfast. Right now, you were bending down next to a tail-wagging Yeontan, filling his bawl with dry food for him to eat too.

Taehyung licks his lips and his throat grows dry as he notices you are just wearing small cotton panties and a white tank top, probably because you had the tendency to overheat at night during summer. Your fleshy thighs, with dimples of cellulite clinging in the back, and your round ample ass were on full display for him when you bent down and a burning stirring feeling shot straight to his groin.

You smile as you pat the little furry dog’s head, the feeling of being watched making you turn around to notice Taehyung leaning against the kitchen’s doorway. He still looked sleepy, dark hair messy and untamed from turning in the bed, barefoot, eyes with heavy monolids.

“Look who’s awake, Yeontannie! Your daddy is finally up. Do you think it was the food calling him?” You say in a typically high-pitched voice, the one you always used around cute animals.

You go back to the kitchen’s counter, gathering the things necessary to set the table for you both to have breakfast, smiling sweetly at Taehyung before focusing on your task. You didn’t find his silence unusual, sometimes he stayed silent for long moments in the mornings, just taking his time to get fully awake and ready for the day. This time, however, it was for a completely different reason.

You had no idea what you had just ignited in Taehyung. Never before had you referred to him as the ‘Daddy’ of his small dog, and now he had vivid images of young little versions of himself and you running around the house, playing with Yeontan, falling asleep in his arms or cuddled up in yours. Oh, the idea of your stomach rounding and protruding with his children added an uncomfortable stiffness inside his boxers that was beginning to cloud his judgement.

Two arms wrap around your already pillowy middle, long fingers brushing your hair to one side, exposing the back of your neck for hungry lips to attach to the skin there, sending goosebumps down your spine and making your body tense and shudder slightly.

“Sorry I didn’t stay in bed so we could cuddle, babe. I got hungry and didn’t want to wake you up, so I just got up” you explained, thinking Taehyung was just craving your usual morning embraces.

“That’s okay” his even deeper than usual, very coarse from the morning, voice murmurs against your left ear, under which he stamps another kiss.

Large hands start wandering around your body, one sliding up and down the almost naked curve of your hip, the other moving up until it was trapped on the underside of your soft boob, thumb tracing an invisible line at the side over the tank top. Your breathing becomes shallow now, heart flipping inside your chest and muscles paralyzing as you began to wonder if this was more than what you assumed.

“Babe?”

“Love you” that toe-curling masculine tone of his interrupts, mouth kissing down your shoulders now. If you had any doubts, the hand that moved to squeeze your breast and the semi-hard bulge that he was pressing against your ass, fingers clawing at your love handles to keep you in place, made it abundantly clear where this was going. And the fire under your skin that his administrations were gaslighting made you have nothing against it.

“Me too” you reciprocate in a sigh, giving in to him as you allow your body to fall back into his, one hand covering up the one he still had holding your chest and the other coming up to pull at the hairs behind his neck, moving your head to the side and pulling him in for a kiss.

He takes no reservations deepening the kiss, devouring your willing lips until his mischievous warm tongue of his found its way past your teeth, delving deeper and tasting you to the fullest he wanted to, a highway of sprinting electricity running up your spine and hazing your brain as he swirled around and coaxed your own to respond.

Taking hold of your wide waist, Taehyung turns you around and resumes the heavy smooches, pulling your fluffy body close to his lean one, greedy hands unable to chose a place to settle in, constantly running up and down the expanse of your body he could reach. As the tip of his tongue flicks against yours and roams the sensitive inside of your gums, your body shudders and you moan, the uncomfortable wetness between your legs becoming insufferable.

“Taehyung...” You whisper into his mouth, pulling at his hair and grasping his form close, hinting at your needs by the sway of your hips.

“My dear Y/N…” he mumbles back, eyes still closed before he cradles the side of your head and captures your lips once again. But this time, his wandering hand pulls down the side of the panties that were biting at your flesh and delicious fingers find their way to the shameless damage he had done.

A deep groan escapes him at the same time a soulful moan leaves you when his middle finger goes past your damp folds and slides directly against your sensitive slit. Taehyung keeps his mouth occupied on your skin, leaving your lips vacant so he can hear the beautiful sounds you made. Pulling the collar of your tank top down with his available hand, he finds your breasts covered by a simple bra that he too pulls the cups of it down, exposing your tits for him to play and tease as his other hand rubs between your legs, your own hips starting to move against his digits on their own accord.

When those expert fingers find the little hardening bud at the top of your lower lips, the fingertips press hard circles around it before flicking it mercilessly, enticing your raspy wail and the buckle of your knees, making you almost fall down as you lose your strengths for a moment at the sudden abuse.

“Counter” is all he says when he catches you, pulling you by the waist up.

You just nod and take a few steps until you reach the kitchen’s counter. Taehyung kneels down and you are confused for a moment before he pulls your panties all the way off your bulky legs, starting to kiss up your thighs, hands indulging on the malleable flesh of the back of your legs and moving up to your juicy rump.

“God, Tae!...” you stutter out, letting your head fall back and hands grasping the corner of the counter with iron strength as soon as he lifts one of your legs up to his shoulder and dives in.

The use of both his tongue and fingers leave you absolutely disoriented and unsure of how avoid losing your stand again. He had his eyes closed as he laps on your pussy, lips settling around your clit and ravishing upon it, taste buds flicking the fleshy pearl and then sucking on it for long enough to drive you mad and not enough to send you over the edge. The introduction of his fingers changed that. He first slid the middle finger that had been teasing your entrance, wiggling and curling it inside before withdrawing it unkindly. Then he inserts three at once and you cry out, not from pain but from the absolute pleasure the fullness gave you. His digits drown in your fluids and start rocking back and forth, curling and massaging your inner walls every other time.

It doesn’t take long at all for this overload of stimulations having you pulsating around Taehyung’s fingers, body spasming as an orgasm rips through you suddenly, hoarse cries filling the air. The fact that you had one leg around Tae’s shoulder keeps you from giving out completely, doing your best to pull yourself up as you gripped the counter.

“So beautiful… My magnificent Y/N…” he praises as he brushes your leg off his shoulder and slowly raises back up, all the way kissing your available skin.

Taehyung pauses at your belly, hands pulling the tank top up so he can kiss the soft skin there and knead at the flesh for a moment.

“This round stomach would look so pretty fuller…” he whispers, although now in a more perceptible voice. You raise your eyebrows at that, unsure of what he meant by that.

Further up, he kisses the valley between your tits as his thumbs play with your puckered nipples, only to then lick and suck on both of them in turns, making you arch your back to him.

“These breasts… how much bigger would they get?” It’s a murmur against the sensitive skin of your left tit but you still heard it and the realization sends magnetizing shockwaves to your core.

Your hands claw at the underside of his arms as you try to pull him up, intending to talk about what he meant by all of this, but the look on his face shut you up before you could even formulate the first question in your mind. Eyes hooded and dark with desire, it was both an animalistic gaze as much as it was absolutely vulnerable.

“My cherub Y/N, bearing my seed inside for everyone to see how stunning you are.”

His words are held an inch away from your silenced lips, staring at your confused eyes with purpose, before merging mouths together with a bruising force, ferociously kissing you senseless. The truth is that Taehyung already envisioned you both together until the end of his days, growing up together, getting older together. The proof laid hidden at the bottom of one of his drawers, in a small velvet red box, waiting for the perfect timing.

“Y/N… I want… I need…” he struggles to say, biting at the sides of your neck when the words didn’t come out.

But you already knew perfectly well what he wanted. And you were a bit ashamed of how arousing the idea sounded to you, to partake in what could ultimately tie you and Taehyung together for a lifetime, to have him want to - with you. It was something that had come to you in dreams before, something you never voiced with fear of ruining it. But not now.

Hand brushing down his chest and strong abdominal area, your fingers insert themselves past the hem of his boxers and you take him fully in your hands. It didn’t go unnoticed to you how hard he already was, hot and heavy, how the tip was already staining the palm of your hand with pre-leakage. Your walls throbbed with longing.

“Do it” you determinately whispered back.

The eyes that had closed when you took him in hand shot right open again, finding yours with a cautionary hesitance.

“Are you sure?” He seriously asks, eyes searching yours.

In response, you start stroking his mouthwatering length, hand curled powerfully around his thickness but careful to not scrape the skin, thumb brushing the sensitive red tip every time it reached it. Taehyung almost chokes and his whole-body tenses up as he tries to not give in to the need to thrust his hips into your inviting hand.

“Fuck” he curses, something you tend to only hear from him in such moments.

Suddenly, he takes a strong hold of your hips and spins you around, pinning your front to the cold marble of the counter as he raises your hips up towards him, everything on full display for him. A moment for him to send his boxers to the other side of the room and he teases your hot center with his hard member, rubbing his cock between your folds and coating himself with your overflowing juices. You whimper before biting down on your lips, hands in fists so tight your knuckles turned the palest colour you had ever seen.

“Taehyung…!” you sigh on frustration, looking over your shoulder back at him.

“Want me to fill you up?” he smugly asks, even with the undertone of wistful thinking from himself too. “Flood this pretty pussy with my seed?”

A ravenous spasm goes through your body. He keeps rubbing his dick against your silky middle, the tip brushing against the engorged clitoris with maddening slow strokes.

“Y-Yes. Give me all you got. Put a baby in me, Tae” you talk back.

A growl from the depths of his throat comes up and he bends down to kiss at your shoulder blade before biting into it, surely leaving a purple bruise but you didn’t care. Your body was boiling with need and your senses overwhelmed with him, all of him, only him. You were sure he could even draw blood from your skin and you wouldn’t even feel it.

In an instant so quick that caught you by surprise, Tae stands back up and pulls his hips back from you only to subsequently impale you with his length in a swift thrust. You arch your back, raising your chest off the counter, moaning loud at the sudden but more than welcome intrusion. You never realized how much of a barrier the condom created until now, feeling him bare inside, every inch of his skin, every indentation, every vein pulsating hot against your overly sensitive walls. Taehyung was having similar thoughts, in disbelief of how good you felt around him, how wet and slick you were, how enhanced the pleasure was. He had no idea how he would ever go back.

“Shit, Y/N…! You’re so… fucking… wet.” He stressed the last words with slow but strong thrusts of his hips, the sound of skin slapping skin and the squelching of your bodies together joining your own embarrassing uncoherent pleas.

Taehyung was a big man, which was the reason he preferred to always start with warming you up with his fingers whenever sex was in the cards, usually using more than two fingers to do the job. And still there was always that stretch burn when it was time for the real thing, but always tolerable and more often than not actually welcomed. Any slight hint of pain was more than thumped over by the pleasure of him filling you up, especially when he bottomed out and the tip of his dick reached and perfectly matched the curve of your cervix.

This position in particular was perfect for that effect and he knew it was the quickest way to push you to the edge in record time. When you arched your back, Taehyung reached with his hands around your middle and squeezed your hanging tits, still spilling out of the cups of the bra he had pulled down. Tweaking and pinching your nipples, the lean hips of the man behind you set on a nice rhythm, sliding back until only the tip remained inside before pistoning back in with measured force, making your eyes roll back in your head since the action made him constantly brush the perfect spot at the depth of your tunnel.

“I want you filled with my cum to the bream. I want it to overflow from this tight pussy and see it spill on the ground. And then do it again without wasting a single drop” he said in labored breathes, fingers digging in to your protruding love handles tighter, hips rocking quicker against yours. “Wanna see your stomach swell up with our babies. Play with these tits when they get heavier with milk. Eat you out when you’re pregnant just to know if it’ll taste different.”

You squeal as the dirty talk contributes to your ever-approaching end, this unbearable tight knot in your womb constricting the muscles of your body so severely you feel a vein might pop off. You are sweating profusely, the warm weather not helping for such endeavors, eyesight getting blurred, breathing strenuous and brain shutting down.

“You are taking my cock so well, love” he claims, taking his eyes off your form to witness the way his dick disappears inside you, over and over again, glistening with your juices. Your insides squeeze him at that, making him hiss and close his eyes again. “You like that? You like knowing how good you take care of my bare cock? Do you wanna milk me dry? Want to suck my cum with your pussy, hum?”

“Ta-Taehyung!” you scream out as the first waves of orgasm crash over you, knot unfolding abruptly and a molten pleasure erupts throughout your system, scourging every inch of you, forcing you cry out in delight.

The boy slows down to an almost stop, both to prolong your pleasure but also to restrain himself from following you just yet, when he had other plans. As soon as you come back down from your high, his hips start moving again as he pulls your back flush against his chest, lips attaching to the skin up and down your neck. You are holding yourself up with the palm of your hands pressed against the cooler counter, whimpering once he starts picking up the pace, last orgasm still very much fresh. And yet you can’t help the way your hips move back to meet his, the chase of a new climax claiming your body fast, your head tilting back to rest on Taehyung’s shoulder.

“That’s it, my love. Do it once more for me, yeah?” he whispers almost sweetly into your ear, one hand still fondling your exposed breasts and the other going down to your lush belly, skin sinking to his touch as he rubbed circles there. “Let me knock you up and show off my pregnant wife for everyone to see! We’ll make the most beautiful children.” You never doubted that. With him as their father, how could they turn out anything but perfect.

The hand at your chest drops to dig the bulges of your waist, Taehyung pouncing harder now. You are already more than half-way there and the fact that you can feel the spillage from the tip of his cock when he fastens up, a tell-tale of his own approaching undoing, leaves you at the edge of the precipice.

“Fu… Cum with me, Y/N…! Let’s… let’s cum together” he pleas in your ear.

His digits dart away from your stomach to make way to your mound, where he quickly finds your cluster of nerves and presses harshly and violently against it, at the same time his thrusts hit the spot deep that he reaches so well with debauched speed. The fierce assault of your senses has you mewling in a pitchy voice as the climax spills, so intense and sharp that white noise blacks out your vision and disorienting pleasure claims your turned-to-mush brain.

Taehyung feels with relief your inner walls collapsing on him and he finally allows himself to reach his own end, drilling into you a few more times until he is buried as deep as he can go, spilling his essence into your womb, balls tightening and tingling as warm spurts filled you up, his perspiring body shuddering before stiffening with blissed out relief.

You fall on your elbows forward, barely able to hold yourself on the counter. It takes both of you a good few moments to collect yourselves. When Taehyung pulls out of you, the feeling of fluid stickiness starts to run down your legs and you hear the boy tsk.

“What a waste” he says.

You turn around at that, rearranging your almost nude state and about to question him about something when he pulls you by the waist across the room.

“Wait, Tae, what are you doing?” you wonder, looking confused up at his now fully awake face.

“Taking you to the bedroom. You should have been laid down for this” he explains, seemingly a bit angry with himself as he frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

“The probability of pregnancy is best when the female is laying horizontally. That was not the best position to get you pregnant.”

You halt your step and take him by the hands, forcing him to look at you.

“Hey, Tae, that’s okay. If this didn’t work, we’ll just do it better next time, okay?”

He does seem to perk up at that, eyes enlarging and lighting up like a kid only to revert back to a smug knowing look, accompanied with a cocky grin.

“So… Already thinking of doing this again, are we?” His arms sneak around your waist and he rocks you both in place, leaning down to level his eyes with you.

“As if you weren’t thinking about it as soon as you pulled out” you rebut, to which he just smiles and shrugs his shoulders. “You… You are really serious about this, Taehyung? About me? Us?” You can’t help but make sure this whole thing wasn’t just a spur of the moment, a very dangerous erotic fantasy that would disappoint him if ever actually coming true in reality.

Taehyung kissed your cheek and pulls you in for one of the tightest hugs you ever got. You smile against his shoulder and hug him back, hands meeting at his back.

“I was never so sure of anything in my life as much as I’m sure of this” he guaranteed.

Later, after a much-needed shower, both fully dressed for the day, siting at the table eating the now cold pancakes for what was now more of a lunch than breakfast, something occurred to you and you tilted your head to the side as you chewed.

“Taehyung?” you call, the man in question not even raising his eyes to you as he devoured the plate in front of him.

“Humm?”

“This morning… did you call me ‘wife’ during sex?”

Taehyung choked until his cheeks turned bright red and it took him several minutes and countless glasses of milk to regain his normal breathing. Maybe there was no such thing as a perfect timing when it came to these things, he realized as he went to get the red box hidden in his drawer.

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writingonjorvik · 4 years

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The New Gang Pitch

Following my narrative arc pitch, I wanted to outline a pitch for the new central character unit around the MC to go with it, since characters can make or break a story.

The Self-Taught Vessel, Allacia Clair

One of the first characters part of this group I would imagine has a bit of a rivalry with the MC about their powers. While she’s also a Vessel (my name for the Aideen’s champion role from my narrative pitch), she didn’t have anyone like the Keepers to teach her about her powers. She has a strong grasp on the “Avatar State” power/connecting to Aideen, her other powers she can’t really control and doesn’t have a good foundation for using her other core abilities. Her arc with the MC includes them learning to work together, possibly coming to a head at some point when it seems to this character that the MC is having no trouble with learning about the “Aideen State” powers.

She should be reckless, her powers manifesting in bursts, kinda like an unbridled Lightning Circle Alex, to show she never learned basic control over her powers. She’s stubborn and resilient, with a bitter sense of respect for the MC. She should be funny in a dry humor sort of way, but heart of gold trope, all the way. Points for her being in her mid to late 20′s, so a little older than the “about to start college” MC to add to that “how can you do this thing I struggled with” arc. Extra, extra points if she’s a POC, because, you know, cannon POC badasses are great.

The Valley Girl Hacker, Brittany Bellwinter

We need a diva in the party, and there’s nothing I love more than the idea of a full blown, bubble gum popping, gag me with a spoon, Silicon Valley girl for that. None of the “I don’t get people” hacker trope. This girl gets people, but is also Elle Woods smart with computers. “You took down entire network of G.E.D. encrypted asset logs.” “What, like it’s hard?” She takes no shit for being the pretty blonde girl, and she works her ass off to pull off her chic cyberpunk style while she takes down an entire DC facility’s security system from the Stablebucks down the street.

She’s open, honest, and direct. Her self-confidence is through the roof, to the point of initial conflict. Her being a vigilante when she meets the MC is a great arc to have them working together, and also establishing people outside the Keepers having an issue with Dark Core. She’s hungry for knowledge though, and her handiness with gadgets can provide SSO with a lot of tools for having ruins being destroyed in story beats without losing the information. But also a problem as she risks her life to get those pictures.

The Heart, Kadin Fairwind

This is the one character I think whose gender is most important to be kept the same. Kadin needs to be masc-presenting, either as an enby person who uses he/him pronouns, or just simply as a male presenting person. This is first and foremost because of the message Kadin can send. If SSO wants to be a story about gender equality, then it needs to also talk about how men relate to “feminine” topics, in particular, being the heart of the group. The Heart of the 5 man band is exclusively reserved for a female in the party, which is why it’s important to have a character like Kadin, who is masc-presenting, be the heart, to subvert that and show other masc-presenting players that you can be masculine and also be an empathetic person that tries to keep your friends together.

Kadin is a big sweetie, possibly physically, who just has a soft-spot for people. But when I say he’s big, I don’t mean Kadin is this doofy gentle giant or some himbo. No, he’s physically built, like a quarterback built, but he’s also very intelligent. Kadin needs to be outwardly very masculine, with an awareness of his strength and how it impacts people around him. He’s smart and observant and is really good on picking up on people’s emotions. He wants to help people, with a passion for being either a counselor or a nurse (specifically a nurse, not a doctor). Possibly with friends who were assholes when they were in school who bullied people, until Kadin decided he didn’t want to do that and wanted to be better aware of how he hurt people and how to make things better.

As much as I’m an advocate for queer & POC rep, I think the best way to do Kadin is just have him as this straight, white guy. I think him just being a hetero-cis dude and becoming aware of his privilege can be such an impactful message, even if the why isn’t ever explicitly said.

The Magic Enthusiast, Nakai “Xen” Seiko

If Kadin is cis, then Xen is one hundred percent they/them non-binary. But also, if Brittany is the tech wiz, then Xen simply wants to be an actual wizard. And not just wishes magic was real kinda wants to be a wizard, legit knows magic is real and can’t figure it out/can’t use it wants to be a wizard. Xen consumes all things magic, which makes them an amazing outside asset to the MC and Allacia, who both can use magic, but don’t always understand magic. Xen gets magic fundamentally as a study, but not always as a practice, which is why they struggle to actually use it. And while I do think they should learn how to use magic, they should by the kind of character who wants to multi-class wizard over and over so they can get every school of magic, not so they can actually get better. It’s Xen’s craving for understanding magic that will be a great tool in learning more about other planes of reality and how they relate to magic.

Xen’s personality is fundamentally at odds. While they come from a very traditional Japanese immigrant family and have a high respect for their culture, they obviously struggle with who they are and how that fits into what they want to do with their life. This is import in particular to me because so many cultures gender magic, with feminine and masculine sources of magic. Xen as a non-binary magic user, like myself, has to struggle with figuring out where those legends come from and breaking down how to feel about that in their own practice, particularly when Aideen is shown has being a very feminine entity. Much like the points before, I don’t think this has to be explicit, but I do think it can be very clearly coded to say that gendering things is often forced. While there are gendered things in nature, like things surrounding baby-making, most things aren’t and just because something is gendered, like Aideen, it doesn’t designate that all things need to be. I think the best way to balance this message is to have Xen has a very comedic person, always telling jokes, even when the timing isn’t always right. They should have an issue with hyperfixating, and I think having them being someone with ADD/ADHD is a great match for their other struggles, getting consumed in their pursuit of magic to the point of it being a hazard too.

The Gentle Giant, Bogga Norsdóttir

If anyone is going to be the brute of this party, it’s going to be Bogga. Bogga is a “I’m going to deadlift a Shire” kinda girl, but she won’t, cause it’s a horse, and why would she scare a horse like that? She’s honestly the simplest concept I have. She’s a gentle giant, though I don’t think she should be “stupid.” I think she should have a simple code of ethics, a very black and white version of right and wrong. It’s simple, you hurt her friends, she fucks you up. I would love too if she’s part Kalter. But yeah, Bogga is kinda the constant rock of the party, and that’s not just cause she’s a solid unit. She’s just reliable, and for that she’s kinda a sounding board for everyone else’s more complicated arcs. The point is that Bogga will always be there to support the party, and she doesn’t really need to grow. She’s got her life figured out, and so she’s just there to help everyone else figure out theirs.

The Returning Soul Rider

If there’s any of these members I’m ok with dropping, it’s this one. Not just cause I can’t decide which one, but also the whole point of the above group is establishing a friend group that the MC chooses through the story and actively recruits, not an existing friend group like the Soul Riders are. Even with the new intro to the Soul Riders they added, there’s never going to be a point where the MC isn’t a fifth wheel to their group, at least for me and I know for a lot of you, particularly as SSL gets more and more removed. The only reason they could even effectively establish their friend group before was because only two of them were friends when Lisa got to Jorvik, and it was Lisa that brought the four of them together. And honestly, I think staying on their story makes if feel more and more to me like we’re cleaning up their mess and undermines the Soul Riders defeating Garnok in SSL. Which ruins their abilities, and it’s just yet another reason we need to move away from them narratively.

Still, that doesn’t mean I think the Soul Riders need to be cut out entirely, but I think we need to relook at the angle that the MC is relating to the Soul Riders. And that means the Soul Riders relooking at themselves, particularly post Garnok, which is also why I think this arc needs to end.

In any case, I’m tied between Alex and Anne. On the one hand, Alex is a fighter and suddenly having no big bad to fight is a hell of a good arc to pitch. I also think her in contrast to Bogga is a great square off. Alex not being ready to be done fighting is a good arc, because she’s always been a fighter. What is she without something to go after now? I think her being afraid of falling back into her old ways now that she doesn’t have a target to hunt down is such an interesting arc to follow.

Anne is another interesting one, because I think with everyone expecting Anne to be consumed with vengeance before Garnok is defeated and her to come out of that, people would expect that after he’s gone, she would be ready to be done and just go back to being a normal girl. But I think that even if Anne gets over her vengeance, she’s the Soul Rider of the Sun Circle. Her powers are to open portals, she’s destined to travel. Anne isn’t going to want to go back. Whether it’s being a dressage master or traveling between planes of reality, Anne is the portal master of the druids. Worse, she was an imprisoned portal master. She’s shouldn’t want to be still ever again.

I’m honestly up in the air on them, and I’m not opposed to both, but I think it should just be one in the main group and another with a side arc we touch in on when we touch base with the other Soul Riders.

And yeah, that’s the pitch.

#sso #star stable #starstable #star stable online #starstableonline #woj writing #woj analysis

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fissart · 5 years

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Old art done back in December/January, but still Valid.

Some drawings of my babiesssss!!!

I apologise I've been off for a while, a mixture because my computer was bust for a long while and because I keep forgetting to upload here on Tumblr!

But hello I'm back *dramatic gestures* and these are my ugly, troubled children. They're from some books I've been writing for the past three years, called "The Thorvendor Chronicles" (or just TTC).

On every other social media I have, I'm none stop talking about them, but I've realised I left my lovely Tumblr folk in the dark about my babes.

So here they are, I'll give a general view of who my babes are and talk about them more in later posts (because BOY HAVE I PAINTED A LOT SINCE Y'ALL LAST SAW, IM SORRY IF I SPAM!)

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So what is TTC about you ask? Well it's a gothic, fantasy, period drama, in which my band of misfits get themselves into all sorts of trouble, in the world Andium.

Introductions! (This is spoiler free, so if I'm talking about some characters back stories and not others, its because I don't want to spoil anything). ^^ enjoy.

Fabian, he's 35 year old Henvro (a species of my design, I'll ramble about them later) and my main character in TTC, he is the head of the royal guards in the human capital city of Novian, which means he controls majority of the human empires military. He is a kind and reserved man, who works hard and is polite to everyone he meets. He's a bit of a lonely fellow, on account of his slightly awkward demeanor when in social situations, annnndddd the fact that his appearance, being a Henvro, is off putting to them racist humans and other species that reside in the city. So, as a result he lives alone in his humble town house near the city centre.

Arwen, at 28 years old, he is second in command of the royal guards and partner to Fabian in the military, unlike Fabian, he is an actual celebrity, an icon for fashion, and freedom of speech, and considered far ahead of his time. He is a celebrity of questionable origin, however, rumoured to have got his first fame "performing" in night clubs as an entertainer, the loud, confident and an intelligent individual is always the centre of attention, and if he isn't? Well, he will do anything in his power to make sure it is!

Phoebe, is 26 years old and is currently in training to be a field nurse in the army, she's a obnoxious, hyperactive, selfish young women who thinks little of others feelings. Close friends with Fabian and Arwen the three spend a lot of time together off duty, both boys becoming well acquainted with her eccentric lifestyle and spoilt brat behaviour.

Kayla, a stern and cold women, with a very masculine presence, also of the age of 26, is both Phoebe's boss and soon to be, sister in law. Kayla is an incredibly intelligent and logical individual, who waltzed her way to the top of the medical field and became the first female doctor in Novian at the age of 20, being stationed as assistant to Sir Welth, a Doctor who ran the royal academy of science and magicology, her thirst to learn about the field of medicine, surgery and alchemy was all quenched by his side. But upon Doctor Welths death, he requested for the young Kayla to take his position as head of the Royal academy and hospital. Followed by some uproar and discourse about it, everyone eventually approved of her being stationed as the head of the academy and hospital. Few years on, through the struggle, she had earned the respect and recognition she deserves, through her professional and reserved attitude, her workaholic life style finally payed off, but at the unfortunate price of her social life and lack of any kind of companionship.

Kayrus, he is 28 years old, older brother to Kayla and Phoebe's fiancé, he works as a barber surgeon in the slums of the capital city, unlike his qualified and knowledgeable little sister, Kayrus is a self taught surgeon (and Barber) who owns a practice with his assistant, Neo. Kayrus is a large, generally quiet man, who naturally has an intimidating presence. Cursed with terrifying, unpredictable mood swings, it's left him the nasty reputation of being "unstable" and said to be a perfect candidate for the mad house, but anybody who actually knows him, knows that's not the case, he's a caring, sickly, man with a passionate heart for both his fiancé and for the love of the arts. He takes his work seriously and lives frugally with Neo, away from the glitz and glamour of the centre of the capital.

Neo, a frail human who's 24 years old, living with their master Kayrus. Neo tends to say very little and enjoys to just observe others, very emotional and what they lack with intelligence they make up for in their streetwise behaviour. Working as Kayrus sister is the practice, their job is to clean the instruments and tools, dispose of any limbs that are amputated (or a body if a surgery goes wrong) and or keep everything as orderly as possible for Kayrus if not being his delivery and errand runner.

Raymond, at 39 years old, a doctor and assistant to Kayla, he is a very friendly man by nature. He tends to get on Kayla's nerves a lot as he finds himself rather attached to her... Some might say that he takes romantic interest in her (but believe me, she ain't having it and makes sure things are ALWAYS professional between the two of them and nothing more).

Ava, a cocky young Henvro women at the age of 33, she has no time for anybody and won't hesitate to sass you if she pleases. With a vulgar sense of humour and crude euphemisms, she equals Arwen with inappropriate conversations. With a lively sense of adventure she tends to hang around Fabian when she can, encouraging and teasing him to rebel and have more fun rather than act his usual, mature, self. (He never listens... Sometimes >:3).

Clara, is a sweet young Lady who is only 20 years old, a true image of a Victorian upper class women, well mannered, smartly dressed and obedient.... Sometimes! Her instinct to investigate and explore new environments often gets her into trouble, she struggles to stay put and itches for obscure forms of entertainment, namely with Arwen. Her favourite past time is digging up the deepest and darkest secrets of everyone she encounters, not out of malicious intentions, I assure you, but to simply quench her own curiosity!

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There's a little introduction to my main babies, I draw them a lot and I'm sorry I haven't introduced you all to them properly yet! Considering Ive had Tumblr for about 5 or 6 years, and had these babies for 3 years now, I'm surprised I've never really shared them. But there you have it!

My asks are always open if you have questions about them!!

#ocs #art #illustration #sketch #fantasy #ttc #the thorvendor chronicles #fabian #arwen #phoebe #kayla #kayrus #neo #raymond #ava #clara #victorian #gothic

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roidespd-blog · 5 years

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Chapter Thirty : MY OWN STORY

This is the end of our journey. I could have ended it with a one-two punch Stonewall-Pride extravaganza but I’m going with a more personal coda, if you’ll indulge me.

A BOY’S OWN STORY

I haven’t always known I was Queer. I guess there were signs — how I would prefer to play with my sister’s barbies than with my own construction toys. How I could be extra sensitive with benign day-to-day details or the fact that by the age of five, I knew “Pour que tu m’aimes encore” by Céline Dion by heart. “So Alex, you’re a faggot, right ?”. That’s what a schoolmate said to me during recess. I said “No”. I was 10. I didn’t know. How did he know if I didn’t know ? Is sensitive a synonym for gay, even when you’re too young to even have pubic hair ?

I started masturbated at the age of 12 and it didn’t took long before my thoughts were directed towards the male body. I ignored it and pretended it was just my mind wandering in unexpected and irrelevant places. I would do my dirty business with La Redoute catalogues, looking at the male models in underwear then switch to their female counterparts at the very end when I knew I was close. Same thing with my imagination. Penelope Cruz was my go-to fantasy beard. I was ashamed of my sexual orientation. Worst, I was ashamed of it before I could understand it. That’s the tricky part : society doesn’t teach you how to be Queer but sure makes you aware that it’s not the norm.

I didn’t know what gay was. In movies, homosexuality was always depicted through huge clichés, what I called in my articles the “Cage aux Folles” dogma. I couldn’t identify. Or maybe I rejected the notion very quickly and swore never to approach this level of absurdity. Internalized homophobia before you even understand what internalized homophobia is.

I fell in love with my first boy when I was 14 years old. He was 2 years older, not that handsome (back then) and so unattainable. I’ve known that dude my whole life. For a long time, I said to myself that one-sided love wasn’t love. I do not believe that anymore. Feeling are valid whether they’re reciprocated or not. Of the five men I fell in love with in my life, only one didn’t love me back (and another is still TBD). But he’s the man I loved the most. The pain that followed was real and undeniable.

I didn’t act on my feelings towards boys until college. In high school, I told myself I wasn’t gonna do anything with anyone until I knew for sure what I was (laugh). I turned down a couple of great girls, one became one of my closest friend in this world. There was one incident involving a girl faking drunkenness in order to inspire pity and having her ways with me at a birthday party. I was… 15, I guess. I was not into it.

A shy boy, I socially bloomed in high school due to my involvement in drama classes and a new “fuck-the-world” attitude I cultivated through a longer hair cut and a collection of converses of every color imaginable.

The day I found out I graduated from high school, I went to town with a few friends. We (barely) drank and had our PG fun. There was this boy. I didn’t know him at all as he was a friend of a friend. I was very intrigued by him and made sure to present to him what I considered my best self (mute and mysterious, I guess). When it was time to go home, we all packed ourselves in my friend’s tiny car. There wasn’t enough space for all of us so the guy was lying on floor in the back, myself in the middle seat. I don’t know what got into me, but I started putting my fingers under his shirt and caressing his lower back. Gently, like an accident. When he didn’t react, I went further. That’s when I felt his fingers on my ankle. As I got to explore more of his back, he quickly went up my pants and caressed the entirety of my leg. So erotic, you have no idea. He was the first to go home. We didn’t exchange phone numbers but he sure helped me get IT. Once alone with my friends in the car, I said “I like boys”. That was it. The electricity I felt all around my body was unchallenging. No one was shocked. No one cared. Back to our regular scheduled programs.

HOW TO BE A GAY MAN IN FOUR LESSONS (OR MORE)

The first and only real mistake was trying to define myself through my sexuality.

My first boyfriend was… let’s call him Paul. Paul was the sweetest. A very short, very elfish (not healthy, ELFISH) little dude that tried his best to give me space in our relationship to explore myself. I said tried. I was willing to lose my virginity as a bottom but it wasn’t meant to be. I became a top. Oh, but it is a nice memory. It is so rare to be a gay man and lose one’s virginity in a good way. He introduced me to his friends who found me “too country” and “fat”. Do we have to talk to each other every day ? Are nicknames necessary ? Do I love you or do I prove constantly that I love you ? Coming from a broken father/son relationship, affection towards men wasn’t easy shit. Lust, yes (though a restrained version of what lust can be). Feelings were there but I found myself incapable of materializing them the way Paul wanted me too. I broke up with him. We got back together. He then broke up with me. Back together again. We called it quits soon after. Too many variables freaked me out. I was an 18 year-old who knew nothing, Jon Snow style.

I met a couple more guys, experimented with casual dating and hookups, bottomed (wasn’t my thing). Then I met Thomas — I’m not even going to invent a name. That bitch needs to be called out. I fell madly in love with Thomas. Five days in and we said “I love you” to each other. That relationship made me come out to my mom. I just didn’t realize that I was being manipulated into loving someone. He made an effort to be extra needy and to push my Superman complex to the max. After falling for him, he told me he visited several psychiatric facilities. He tried to hurt himself more times that I can honestly remember. By the time our relationship ended, I was more a nurse than a lover. I broke up with me after he cheated on me with someone else. But not just cheat. It went from a Friday night “I’m gonna see a friend for the weekend, it’s been a while since I saw him. It’s gonna do me some good” to a Monday morning phone call “Well, he wasn’t a friend. We slept together, now I love you both and I don’t know what to do”. I made it easy for him. By Monday night, pictures of him with the other boy was all over his Facebook page. Thomas broke me in pieces. And I’m not even gonna talk about me going to the police for harassment months later. Triste vie.

That’s when I became a whore.

Not immediately. It took a few weeks of crying to go in that direction but then I was full on. I quickly moved to another city and for the next three years or so, I slept with everything with a dick that moved. Short guys, tall guys, fat ones, skinny ones, effeminate dudes, masculine cunts, three ways, public, top, bottom, ALL. OF. IT. I was unable to feel anything for those guys (some were great and deserved a lot more) but damn, did I fuck them. All of them.

I learned a lot from that time period. First, I can be great at certain sexual things. Won’t tell you which ones. Second, it gave a lot of satisfaction mixed with a sense of true emptiness. I ignored the emptiness back then but I knew why I felt satisfaction. It wasn’t the orgasms. It was a feeling that I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do AKA being a gay guy having lots of sex. I saw it on TV. I saw it in porn. I knew it to be true. I was being the right kind of gay. 22 and still stupid enough to believe it.

When I moved to Paris, I fell in love twice. First with the city. Second with Pierre. In a way, he was the best of them all. Unfortunately, we met at the wrong time. Remember, I was a whore. Not that I cheated on him per say, but the need was there. Paris was giving me so much more land to cover. I met friends that partied hard. I started taking drugs. Lots of them. Festivities would last three days in a row. Sometimes four times a week. I lost 25 pounds just by being poor and high. Meanwhile, I was living a fantastic relationship with a somewhat adult man. I moved in with him for a couple of months. He was a painter and being with me helped him find inspirations. He bought me a note book and pushed me to start writing again, encouraged me to reach my full potential. But fuck my life, I had to make a choice : domesticity with this great guy (who had already been through what I was going through) or FPD (Friends/Party/Drugs). I broke his heart and entered a downward spiral. I went back to my whoring ways. I went all races, all ages, all sizes, just… all. I even was in a weird throuple for a few weeks. Drugs were taking a toll on my health and my friends weren’t supporting me the way I needed too. Six months after the break up, I reserved course. I cleaned my act, found a new job, moved into a new apartment by myself, cleared my phone from those friends’ numbers. This part of my life taught me two lessons : That I could be loved and valued for exactly who I was and that I could throw in all away for the sake of living that sweet Parisian Gay Life.

I met Jack at a time when my life was going really really well. I had been accepted at film school, I was making new friends from work, I had a perfectly stable life and newly-found good spirit. I do believe I inadvertently seduced him by singing Taylor Swift’s Blank Space at a party. I fell hard for that man. I viewed him as the perfect specimen, the epicenter of everyone I went through in the past seven years. I willingly gave him everything : a place to stay when he was looking for a new apartment, my time, my heart, my soul. I wasn’t able to keep anything for myself. It was all for him. Although I knew from the start that I was getting fucked, I didn’t care. He never loved me. Why ? That’s for another story and perhaps for him to tell you. He didn’t leave me heartbroken. He left me destroyed. To a point where I didn’t recognize myself. I’ll say it again : D.E.S.T.R.O.Y.E.D. That’s what happens when you give so much and receive so little in return. My friends had to pick up the pieces and didn’t know what to do with them. Neither did I. I went back to whoring for a short time but this time, it got dark, y’all. I fucked the wrong people. I put myself in the wrong situations. I took the wrong drugs. I kept on wrecking what was left of me.

LIFE IMITATES ART, ART IMITATES OTHER ART, ART IS ART, LIFE GOES WITH WITH FLOW.

For the following two years, all of that cured me of love and sex. I didn’t/couldn’t want either. I focused on my work.

I started writing and directing short films that talked about love between two men (a musical fantasy), how one can destroy oneself by not accepting who one is (a one-shot suicidal fantasy) and finally, a 16-minute movie about trying to figure out your place in the Queer world (my masterpiece, easy to say, right?).

In retrospect, what I couldn’t do in real life anymore (exploring and answering questions), I did it in fiction. In Faggot (and Other Semantics),there are themes of homophobia, internalized homophobia, clichés, dating apps, sex, violence and identity. I’m not saying it’s the greatest movie of all time, but it’s good. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking that I still haven’t finished it.

I used the excuse that I didn’t have enough money. Well, no I have some money put aside thanks to my friends. I though to myself that I was just lazy but fuck, I proved to myself this past month I wasn’t. So, I’m scared to finish it. Not just having to move on artistically (though it is a big part of the fear) but also, It’s kind of the end of a journey. Well, a big chapter anyway. The movie was made when I was the most wrecked version of myself. I touched subjects that are so personal to me and felt like I finally got some answers out of my questions. Finally…well, I don’t know. I went back to thinking I’m a lazy cunt.

Since then (two years), I did something every Queer person should do : I’ve explored our History. I started making research for Faggot back in 2016. I bought a couple of books, mainly “Faggots” written by Larry Kramer and “Le Rose et Le Noir” written by Frédéric Martel. The truth is, we don’t know our History. How can we ? History tried to erase us time and time again. And when real tragedy stroke, people who couldn’t have shared this History were let to die. Unlike all of the other communities, Queer people are not born into a Queer environment. Humans from all races and backgrounds are raised and can receive heritage from their peers. Some of that heritage are in books you get to read in school. What History book talks about Stonewall ? None. We, as Queer people, are cursed with the task of reinventing ourselves generation after generation. Is it so surprising then that we keep on losing ourselves along the way, trying to figure out our identity ? I had to go and search for information, nothing was giving to me openly. I’m so glad I did.

Learning our past taught me so much about how to live my present. That’s why I started to write these articles this June. I wanted to give my fellow Queers a metaphorical anchor to throw into this ocean we call Life so that they can take a closer look at the world that came before, the one that is being built right now and perhaps, what’s to come. It’s a small gift. The best I can do with my restricted reach but here we are.

Today, I told you about my own story. I came back to it with all that baggage from years of research into my Queer Heritage. I see things a bit more clearly now. In the hopes that maybe, if you deem it necessary, you will be able to do the same.

I’m signing off. Yours Truly,

The Queer King.

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