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#i do go back and look at that art eventually
kenntolog · 16 hours
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Imagine cool bf Sukuna loser gf reader where reader is in the art room alone and he joins her and Sukuna initiates make out sheesh with her and she gets so flustered
𝝑𝝔 an: stop this is so cute!! i decided to add a little more details i hope u don’t mind anon!! original post is here, feel free to share your thoughts!!
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cool boyfriend sukuna waits for everyone to leave the art class before ever entering the room because he knows his pretty loser girlfriend always comes out the latest.
you never see him coming up behind you as he makes his way from the open entrance and behind the neatly set up marbles to your desk, where you are seated peacefully, singing along softly and gliding your pencil across the paper calmly. your peace is eventually disturbed by his hands suddenly appearing on your shoulders as he pulls you into himself, noticing how you shut your sketchbook quickly and shriek loudly.
you go to push him away until your brain registers his laughter and you tug your headphones down, letting out an exasperated sigh. “‘kunaa! stop doing that, y’know i hate it!”
“heh,” sukuna pinches your cheek affectionately, one arm playfully settled around your neck while the other moves to ruffle your hair. “whatchu drawing there?”
that seems to fluster you as you look up at him and grip your sketchbook tighter, “nothing!”
“liar,” he sneers with a smirk and tries to pull it from your hands, hands that seem a lot more stronger with the way your grip is not easing. “you hidin’ something?”
“no, ‘kuna—”
he doesn’t let you finish, arms loosening around you to turn your chair over so you’re facing him, and puts his hand on your jaw, fingers digging into the flesh of your cheeks softly, not enough to hurt but enough to hold tight.
you stiffen, expression turning surprised as sukuna covers your slightly pouted lips with his, initiating a kiss. he’s quick with it, knowing how anything involving him showing any kind of affection make you putty in his hand, so he uses it so his advantage. your cheeks heat up under his fingers as you whimper and try your best to respond to him, melting under his touch.
sukuna smiles into the kiss knowingly, going slow and soft as his free hand strokes the back of your head mindlessly, to make you relax further. he sucks in your bottom lip gently, glides his tongue of it seductively before he dives deep once again, opening you up more.
it works wonders and soon enough you drop the sketchbook, gripping his shoulders instead as you try to tug him into you further, but he is an asshole so he bites your bottom lip and moves away with a victorious grin.
you let out a startled sound, looking up at him with shock.
“gotcha,” he whispers as he opens the sketchbook, quickly finding the last page.
“don’t!”
sukuna quickly recognises his figure on the page, eyes widening in surprise. a couple of sketches of his face and one of his body in his basketball uniform. and then he looks through earlier pages, finding himself sprinkled into your drawings even from last year. and his smirk grows mischievous at the realisation.
“this what you were hidin’?” he gazes at you, drinking in the way you cover your face with your hands. “you’ve liked me for a while now, haven’t you?”
you nod your head silently, still hiding from him.
he puts the sketchbook away and steps closer to you, hands coming up to pry yours away, “what a loser you are.”
you look up at him with glistening eyes, lips pouty and bitten by him.
“cute.” sukuna thinks out loud, as he pats the top of your head, enjoying the way you get embarrassed even more, burying your face in his shoulder.
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tomssexdoll · 7 hours
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alrigh hear me out so Tom and reader are enemies like reader is popular girl in school and Tom is outcast but they are in love and at some point when reader gets super drunk she comes to his and confesses her feelings but in a dumb way like she says stuff like “you belong in art museum” and Tom finds it funny and cute but he don’t believe her but it ends up being smut so basically fluff+smut with bits of angst (sorry if it’s long and i really love your fics)
GIRLL DONT APOLOGISE I LOVE DETAIL TYSM MWAH
Drunk in love
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PAIRINGS: Tom 2007 x Female reader CONTENT: SMUT + FLUFF SYPNOSIS: Y/N is super popular in school and is secretly in love with her outcast enemy Tom, at a party Y/N gets super drunk and confesses to him but in a silly way which he loves. A/N: hi WARNINGS: teasing and clothing action, dom!tom, sub!reader, fingering, p in v (riding)
Me and Tom kaulitz, the schools outcast, have been enemies for years. I never knew why, I guess it was because everyone disliked him so I picked it up too. I never really hated him though, I was always secretly in love with him.
Sneaking him winks and blowing kisses when no one was around. I knew he felt the same, doing it back and even kissing me on the bus once.
But that was years ago, now he was even more quiet, barely spoke to anyone or even looked at anyone.
One day I went up to him after school, I invited him to the party I had been invited to since I needed someone as weird as him there, my friends didn't understand him but I did, I liked his quirky personality and stupid jokes.
"Ew, why were you talking to him Y/N" my friend snickered as I came back to her, I rolled my eyes "shut up, you guys are so rude" I grunted and walked off, leaving them super confused.
The time of the party came, I put on a slutty dress and did my makeup and hair just how he liked it, I overheard him talking about his type to other people and knew I needed to impress him.
I showed up, searching everywhere for him and avoiding my friends. I gave up and sighed, getting a few shots and downing them slowly, the clear liquid burning my throat as it went down.
A few hours later, I was super drunk, stumbling and giggling everywhere. I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Tom, I looked up at him and my face turned red, "Oh T-tom! You..came!" I slurred my words, handing him a drink. He gladly took it and started to drink with me, eventually getting as drunk as me.
We sat down on a nearby couch, talking about everything and nothing. It came to a point where I was just listening to him yap, admiring his beautiful features. He took account of this and chuckled, "gonna keep staring at me like that", I was shaken out of my trance and looked away, super embarrassed "sorry..I can't help it" I giggled nervously.
He grabbed my chin with his hand and turned my face to look at him again, "it's alright princess" he smiled, his smile and the words that came out of his mouth made me super wet.
"You know.." I slurred "you belong in an art museum, you're so handsome" I giggled, going closer to him and looking deeply into his eyes, "oh really?" he chuckled, "is that your silly way of confessing your feelings to me" he said jokingly, I nodded, surprising him.
"Yeah, I've liked you for 5 years.." I bit my lip, his eyes widened "we need to talk about this in private" he sighed and grabbed my arm, dragging me into an empty bedroom and locking it behind him, setting me down on the bed.
"It can't be possible..I mean..you're you..gorgeous and popular and I'm this, an outcast" he frowned "why would you like me?" I scoffed at his question, "why? because you're different, you care about me, you're not an asshole who just wants me for my body or popularity, I love your silly jokes and weird humor, I can never be like that around my friends" I sighed, resting my head on his arm softly.
He smiled and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer and kissing the top of my head, "the time you kissed me on the bus years ago made me fall for you even more, it was like reassurance, like you were saying 'dont worry i feel the same', it made me have hope" I grabbed one of his hands and intertwined my fingers in his.
He lifted my chin once again to face him, leaning in closer and pressing his plush lips against mine, his hands snaking to the back of my head, holding it softly as he deepened the kiss.
He pulled back softly, a small string of saliva following, "are you not worried about your reputation, being seen with me with your popularity will be scandalous" he chuckled, caressing the back of my head softly, "I don't care Tom, i'd rather spend the rest of my life with you than worry about what some idiots in high school think" I sighed "i'm sick and tired of worrying about what my friends think, they are irrelevant anyways, they all talk shit about each other, including me" I rolled my eyes.
He smiled softly, pecking my lips again, "how can you kiss so well anyways, thought you were an outcast" I giggled, teasing him.
He chuckled "everyone at school thinks I have no friends at all but that's not the case, i've been with a few girls before" "well, i'll be your girl from now on" I pushed him onto the bed softly, climbing on top of him.
His hands rested on my ass, cupping them gently, I kissed him passionately, grinding softly on his clothed cock. I felt it press against his pants, hardening slowly.
"I've imagined this moment so many times.." he whispered, kissing my neck softly, I giggled and slowly zipped my dress off, chucking it somewhere in the room.
"Holy fuck you're gorgeous.." his breath hitched, hands roaming over my body, tracing my curves. "Well I dressed up for you and you didn't even notice" I grunted, he scoffed "didn't notice? trust me i did, I was trying to hide my boner when approaching you" he said shyly, turning his face away.
I smiled, "fine, i'll take it" I started to take his top off, revealing his toned body, I bit my lip and felt myself get ever wetter. I slowly trailed my hands down to his pants, unbuckling his belt and dragging them off. His cock was pressed against his boxers, leaking precum and staining them.
"Someones excited" I smirked, pulling his cock out slowly. It sprang out, hitting his abdomen. My eyes widened at the size, mouth slightly agape.
"Jesus christ...I always knew you gave off big dick energy" he chuckled "it's probably cause i'm so quiet, isn't that what they say, quiet guys give off big dick energy" I nodded and giggled, slowly taking my panties off.
He bit his lip at the sight of my pussy, wet and aching for him. I poitioned myself and slowly sat down, his cock engulfing my pussy. It stopped at one point, not going any further, I was only a quarter down.
"Shit..it's too big Tom.." I looked down at him, panicked. He grunted and pulled me off him, flipping us over and hovering over me. "I'll make it fit baby" he kissed my neck, his fingers slowly entering me.
"Ah!" I moaned, his fingers ramming into my pussy, stretching it out, "just tell me if you want to stop, ok?" he smiled, I nodded and closed my eyes, trying to forget the pain.
His fingers curled at my g spot, warming up my hole for his big cock. Once he figured it was stretched out enough he retracted his fingers, slowly pushing his cock in again.
It finally fit this time, resisting a bit halfway but he made it fit, just like he said. He held me gently and thrusted in and out, careful not to hurt me.
I grunted in frustration, "faster!" I whined, he chuckled "okay..so impatient" he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer and started to pound into me, his tip hitting my sweet spot perfectly.
"Fuck..so tight" he groaned, rolling his head back. I held onto him, my arms wrapping around his back and scratching at it tightly, intense pleasure waves coursing throughout my body.
"Fuckk!" I moaned loudly, kissing his neck and sucking on it harshly, leaving dark purple marks everywhere. He continued to slam his cock into me, his thrusts getting harsher by the second.
Even though his thrusts were harsh and rough, his touch on me wasn't. It was like I was a delicate flower, meant to be handled gently. The way he held me close, occasionally caressed my thigh, he was my dream guy.
Like I had told him before, the guys I had been with were assholes. They'd just fuck me and finish, not even caring about my pleasure, I was just another hole to them.
I threw my head back, arching my back as he kept hitting my g spot. His head lowered, hands removing themselves from my hips and coming to my bra, pulling it down slightly, revealing my hard nipples.
He smirked and latched his lips onto one, sucking softly, the other hand teasing my other boob. I moaned loudly, legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him in closer, deepening the connection.
"You're so sexy...so beautiful" he murmered on my tits, kissing the skin around my nipples, sucking gently and leaving marks on me too.
His tip kissed my cervix, hips slamming into mine with such force that the sound of skin slapping filled the air. I felt tension build in my tummy, signalling my awaiting orgasm.
"Gonna cum soon.." I whimpered, he smirked and picked up his pace, brutally pounding his cock into my cunt, making me scream in pleasure.
I felt the tension tighten even more, my orgasm washing over me, my pussy clenching on his cock tightly. He groaned and came in me, shooting his thick call all over my walls and coating it completely.
He collaped on top of me, trying to regain his breath. "Fuck...that was amazing y/n" he chuckled softly, kissing me gently. I nodded in response, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tightly.
After a few minutes he slowly pulled out, careful not to overstimulate me. Our shared juices softly dripped out of my hole, seeping onto the bed.
"Lord have mercy for who's going to clean this house" Tom smirked, I giggled "yeah, especially this room" I winked. He grabbed a tissue and cleaned me up, helping me put my clothes back on and kissing me lovingly.
"You know, I've never had a guy help me put my clothes back on after sex" I sighed, turning to him. Guilt washed over his eyes, his smile turning into a frown "you deserve better Y/N, i'm willing to give it to you, just give me a chance.." he caressed my cheek, pressing his forehead against mine.
"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?" my eyes widened, pulling back. He nodded "please, I'll give you the world" he smiled softly, I looked deeply into his eyes, all that was staring back at me was sincerity, he was telling the truth.
"Oh my god Tom yes!" I squealed and pounced on him, hugging him tightly. He laughed, pulling me off and carrying me outside. All my friends stared in shock seeing us together, kissing and cuddling.
I glared back at them, enjoying my time with Tom. They came up to me, scoffing and crossing their arms, "what are you doing with this loser? I thought you hated him" I rolled my eyes "shut up chloe, you are so insufferable, I hate all of you and how mean you guys are, don't speak to me again we aren't friends anymore" I hissed at them "at least Tom treats me like the queen I am, you guys are miserable" I laughed at them, turning back to Tom and kissing him passionately, I felt him smile against my lips.
E/N: i can't lie i forgot the angst im sorry ily
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tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @tomkaulitzloverr @ge-billsgf @estxkios @ballhair @charliesgoodboy @syylss
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mishapen-dear · 2 years
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*lays down* im thinking about minecraft again and the empty spaces you create. the flat lands. the grand halls. the picture perfect buildings and towns that no one lives in. have you ever entered a multiplayer world and found an empty town? it's like. people were there. there were players there, once, and maybe there will be players there again, but there aren't any now. now there are only empty buildings and straight-lined roads where forest used to be.
have you ever made a building that's just too Large? four chunks, one empty room. Or maybe found a megabase from the ground. you are so small, and the world you've and your players have made is so big.
i've seen so many people talk about how empty and lonely single player worlds are, but my favourite world is a single player one. i live in a valley and I've killed the dragon, and i live in a cave. it's messy and its homey and nothing fits together. i go to large multiplayer worlds with giant towns for hubs and its perfect. no one lives in any of the houses, no one explores them. we are all journeymen, never locals. "life" is a prop we hold up against the void so we don't keep staring into its depths.
or what about the big churches? the monuments? the gorgeous, sprawling builds that take hours and hours and are stunning and are so empty. when they're finished the builder moves on to the next project and the building stays. do you understand? the buildings are always lit up so nothing will spawn but nothing will spawn anyway because there's no one there. there are skyscrapers with a few chests and a crafting table inside. the purpose of the building is to be built and once its purpose is fulfilled it doesn't just go away. the buildings haunt their own halls, perfectly pretty and lovingly made and eventually forgotten.
i dont know. ive played this game for a decade. i've beat the ender dragon twice. i start a world and i restart them and i restart them and i restart them. there are posts going around that say that the world itself is not for you, but sometimes the things you build aren't for you, either
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robinfollies · 1 month
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Been really pondering Fantoccio and the cursed citizens lately… like, if you’re stuck in a city for 15 years with some of your only company being these cursed globby versions of the people that used to surround you normally, you’d start to Notice Things that remind you of who they used to be, right?
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jadewritesficshere · 11 months
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Painting
Modern!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Contains: nudes, mutual masturbation, phone sex
18+ only
Eddie flopped face down onto his mattress with a sigh. After working all day, playing at the Hideout, and then hauling all of the bands' equipment, he was wiped. He wanted nothing more then to smoke and go to sleep. His phone pinged with a notification. A contact under the name "Loser" had messaged him, causing a split second of confusion before a lazy grin spread across his face when he realized it was you (he had forgotten he changed it when high). You had been unable to come see Corroded Coffin play tonight as you had made previous plans.
Loser: How did it go?? Good?? Bad??
Loser: Was that one chick who wants to be a groupie there??
Eddie: went ok. Y u jealous?
Loser: just curious lol
Eddie: sure. Wbu?
Loser: Good! Robin and Nancy came. We had a nice dinner. We did paintings! Robin's looks better then mine. Mine looks like shit 😔 now just taking a bath and relaxing.
Eddie: show me?
Loser: lol no???
Eddie: y not? I'm sure it good
Loser: you sure?
Eddie: yes
Loser: fine
Eddie doubted your painting looked bad. You always tore yourself down, even when you did amazing things. He always wanted to throttle you, but knew he would be a hypocrite if he did. Eddie rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He would convince you one day that you were awesome, but until then he would just have to keep reminding you. His phone dinged with a new message from you. He opened it and saw a picture attached and-
Immediately dropped his phone. His heart picked up speed. His eyes widened and face flushed. Eddie dove for the phone as if it were a life preserver and he was drowning. He couldn't believe his eyes. He licked his lips and stared at his phone.
A picture from your neck down. Bubbles in the bath around you. Water was running down your collarbone towards your tits. Your nipples barely covered by the bubbles. One boob having no bubbles around it at all, but your hand flipping him off blocked him from seeing more. He was greedy. He wanted to see more, and had never imagined you would send him this to begin with. Eddie looked down at the tent that had formed in his boxers.
Loser: ask nicely next time 😤
Eddie groaned and his dick twitched. You had totally misunderstood him, he had wanted to see your painting- of course he was more then glad for this outcome. However, he couldn't quite unsee what you had sent, nor would he want to. Eddie reread your text. Next time means more than just this once. Means maybe he could see more. Means maybe he has a better shot with you then he thought. He already overthought things with you many times, and now his brain had just switched to overdrive.
A million thoughts ran through his head as his hand traveled south. He paused briefly," Oh fuck it." He grabbed his dick over his boxers, causing the outline to be very noticeable. He took a pic before sending it to you. He would have felt bad about not sending a message with it, but he would have sat there for ages trying to think of a response. And he couldn't find it in himself to care as he pressed lightly against his dick.
He dropped his phone on his stomach. All Eddie could think about was you as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Your soap covered tits. How beautiful they looked.. He licked his hand before slowly grasping his dick and squeezing the base, causing the tip to flush more. The pressure causing him to moan. He slowly stroked up and down his length. He picked up the pace, canting his hips up to meet his hand. Part of him wanted to go slow, but the rest of him wanted to get this over with quick so he could do it again and again and again. His chest heaved and sweat started to form on his brow. A sigh fell from his lips that quickly turned to a moan at the thought of it being your hand wrapped around him. How small your hand would look on his dick. How-
His stomach tensed and he jolted as his phone started vibrating and your ringtone played. The vibrations on his lower stomach felt so good, he was tempted to let it keep playing, but the urge to hear your voice was stronger. With his free hand he grabbed the phone and answered. "H-hello?" Eddie asked, panting into the phone. "Oh fuck, Eddie," your voice higher than normal sounded like music to his ears. Eddie moaned and your response was a whimper. "Fuck babe, see what you do to me?" Eddie's voice felt like sandpaper, he was surprised he could even find words. "Uh-huh." The sound of water splashing caught Eddie's attention," holy shit. Are you touching yourself?" "Wish it were you."
Eddie's mind went fuzzy as he picked up speed. The schlick noise picking up, his mind filtering out everything except your moans. "Sound so good. Wish I was there." Eddie mumbled, feeling his tip leaking generously. He was so close. "Fuuuck Eddie I'm gonna-" your sentence was cut off with a moan and he lost it. His hips bucked without rhythm and cum spurted everywhere. He never understood the phrase of people seeing stars behind their eyes until now, but they were more like fireworks. He had never cum this much in his life, not even when he had first found porn.
He slowly came back down, a euphoric feeling enveloping him. A warmth spread in his chest as it heaved, trying to catch a breath. He looked down and saw his shirt covered with his release. Your chuckle pulled him back to earth. "Uh so that happened...so whatcha gonna do about it Munson?" He hummed," Think i should ask you for a date." "You should."
Eddie had the biggest grin when you finally got off the phone, date planned for Friday night. He looked down at your contact name before changing the s to a v. He was going to find that painting you did and make sure it hung over his bed, so he could remember this night forever.
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ambitionsart · 3 months
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So... Deadlands but make it a Guild?
Putting it under read more because there's a lot.
So given the Deadlands characters have very little backstory we are headcannoning a lot here. Bare with me.
Edie, I imagine as a rouge (was torn with bard), who uses her sweet charms to get the information she needs. Picks up shifts in taverns in exchange for a roof for a few days.
Garnet is just Prudance 2.0. Since we don't know much of backstory, I can imagine her being a reserved magic user who does not talk about where her magic comes from, because lets be honest a less than savoury patron really doesn't go down well. (Also the idea of her having like a deck of many things, or where her patron picks the cards delt to deal damage would be fun)
Silas, I'm sorry this man is a barbarian. There is no other thing he could be, it's the unfiltered rage. Though I liked the idea of him duel wielding blades like his pistols. Also having miss matched armour to reflect he used to be someone important, the hints of his 'law man' image.
Nate, Okay so. Nate I struggled with. I'm thinking a paladin of some kind? Also I don't know how to translate, was at one point dead and now lives on alcohol and jerky, other than the common stereotype of Dwarves. So. Yeah. Sorry Nate. Though I do imagine him keeping his shirt as if it was something his late wife embroiderd for him and now it's too sentimental to get rid of so it's got patches holding it together.
Delacy, the idea of this relatively human party having a child half orc running around with them felt apt but also the level of humor of oxventure. Also Delacy being an unusually strong child also very good. I can imagine him being a fighter or some combat specific class.
If anyone has any better ideas, hit me up I'm not 100% on all of these, so please add your own to them.
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emile-hides · 2 months
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I was looking directly at a reference while drawing these and I still somehow convinced myself he had long hair. Whatever, he's pretty.
A-Z Isekai'd Cress deign by @acfan120 really got me in some kinda way and I couldn't help wanting to draw him. I also have thoughts on story for him but I'm not gonna be annoying with that rn. Maybe someday.
Bonus my warmup doodle:
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dykethevvitch · 1 year
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Started as a doodle about how Jonny's probably got a lot of scars, ended with me having a headcanon that he 100% lounges around the ship shirtless
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twilightarcade · 11 months
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meow :3
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color refs for me 🔥🔥🔥🔥
nevaeh thompson, she/he - secretary but not in a sexy way more of a bit of a loser way. They’re all losers
Jacob “”””””jake””””” Mulligan, he/they - always put a particular amount of spiteful emphasis on his nickname being jake if you do mention it, unless you just want to be normal about it
going to let you in on a little secret everyone here really uses any pronouns because like. That’s not my job. Make ur own pronouns dude. But also they CANT so I’m sitting here assigning arbitrary pronouns to them
#notwordswordstag#caustic corp#this pose was originally for a bigger piece I doubt you’ll see but if you do then this drawing doesn’t exist ok?#you may notice they all have slightly different tints of white it doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it which you can#but it’s mainly what goes with their design#iris' white is literally off magenta and I'm not really sure how that happened#they all end up either red or blue and it's super noticeable when they're standing next to eachother and I'm going to try to remedy this in#the future#but also it's not too big of a big deal because 90% of the time I go a bit off ref anyways#their EARINGS' colors however are chosen with a tiny bit more care#idk why this is captioned meow but it's staying <3#I need to start drawing at a reasonable brightness because I swear to you nevaehs face was near unreadable as I was drawing this and I fel#felt bad because I couldnt see what was going on but couldn't fix that#looking at it again it's not nearly that bad#I also neglected to color some of the outlines because they looked about the same color and I figured coloring them wouldn't make much of#a difference but I was WRONG like a fool but it doesn't effect the drawing as a while much#I didn't make the upper half of jacobs arm defined but that's just a him problem I think. I'm not responsible for his arm (I am)#eventually I'll do a wip dump and you'll get to look at all the art that's never getting finished but would be pretty cool if it did#she's holding her clipboard close to her chest which is something I changed from the original because she was#going to hold it behind her back but you couldn't see it then. rude.#specifically with the papers facing away from her
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So what exactly is your PhD and why were you writing about Rocky Horror? Do you think it ISNT problematic?
My thesis is on how costume contributes to (and can challenge) queer coding (and just portraying queer characters in general). Problematic is a word thats meaningless to me. Rocky Horror has its strengths and weaknesses. I was writing about it because I was writing about how costume portrays gender performativity - and Rocky Horror is a great example of playing with gender through costume. Honestly this is a loaded question - and Tumblr is not the place I'm going to be publishing my thesis. I need you to understand that the article on Rocky Horror (which isn't even finished yet) is currently 15 pages. Explaining all of its contents in one ask response is going to strip it of all nuance. I'm trying to be careful not to read a tone in your ask you didnt intend but it did come off a bit aggressive or accusatory. If I do get the article to a publication standard I'll gladly link anyone who wants it. That said this was a warm up piece of writing to get me in the mindset for writing my thesis and as such might never be finished completely since it wasn't written for its own sake.
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un-pearable · 1 year
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it’s hard work sailing the high seas to set up me and my dad’s shared retro handheld with playable games but i do it with pride (gift for his birthday)
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gentlethorns · 11 months
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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dearimasu · 1 year
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im planning out my personal webcomic its gonna be so funnn
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candiednova · 1 year
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aaa finally setting up a queue of art posts so i dont go days without posting art, wish me luck!
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keeps-ache · 6 months
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WAIT. my art so cool actually
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qsmpaimsey · 8 months
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doodle that i did in math class, its my oc he is a silly guy
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