#i didn't think committing myself to this person was going to mean committing to the shitass himetown I've never left
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ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ
chris sturniolo x reader
summary: you both started off as friends, becoming even closer, and now that chris has finally gotten over his commitment issues with the impact you've made on his life he's sure he wants no one else. what happens when the feeling isn't mutual, or is it?
warnings: angst, some fluff? swearing, pet names (love,ma)
a/n: we are locked in on series time. part two will be out soon!
word count: 1.9k words
ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ
"i've seen the way he looks at you." she ran the brush through my hair. "it's not in a friend way either."
she was wrong, but it didn't stop my pulse from spiking with anticipation. "how does he look at me?"
fiona smiled. "like he never wants to look away."
"what is that supposed to mean?" "it means he loves you, its so obvious. how could you be so blind?" "if you mean in a friend way, then yes, yes he does" fiona sigh turning me around in the chair. "how long have we been friends?" "since kindergarten" "exactly. i know you better than anyone. preferably better than you know yourself. which means i know you feel the same"
fiona smiles once more before turning me around and grabbing the brush to help do my hair now. as if the discussion was over but was she right? was he really looking at me in a special way? did he actually loved me more than a friend?
she finally finishes up my hair and i put on my outfit for the day. as i walk to my car and get in to drive to the triplets house, i couldn't help but think about what she said. "like he never wants to look away" "like he never wants to look away" what the hell did that even mean? as much as i trust my bestfriend, i feel like she could be wrong about this.
as i reach their house, i gather my purse and some other things stepping out and walking up to the house. knocking on the door, im immediately greeted by nick pulling me into a hug. "hey girl, how are you doing?" "im good nick, and you?" "im great, chris is downstairs, by the way" "how are you sure im not here to see you?" i say catching up to him as he walked to the kitchen.
"so you're here to see me?"nick says putting his hand on his hip giving me a confused look. "yes, ive missed you" bringing him into a hug. "well ive missed you too kid" he says hugging me back. "how was your morning?" "it was okay but nick, you wouldn't believe what fiona had said-" "hey kid, why didn't you tell me you were here?" chris says cutting me off.
"well i was talking to nick, im not just bestfriends with you" i say sarcastically stepping back towards nick. "yeah chris, she's best friends with all of us, if she wants to hang with us because she's tired of you, she can" i couldn't help but burst into laughing from nicks comment. making nick chime in, as i catch my breath i look up and notice chris rolling his eyes.
"well if she's not 'too tired of me' i'd like to steal her for a moment, if that's okay with you" he says looking at nick for what looks like an approval. "go ahead. i'll be right here girl if you need me" nick says pointing at me as well walk away. "i'll keep that in mind, thank you bae!"
"you're not really tired of me are you?" he says opening the door to his bedroom. "of course not, nick was just saying to mess with you. i never get tired of you" i say bringing him into a hug. i felt him smile against me as he hugged me back tight.
"chris?" "yes love?" he says pulling away. "i don't want to interfere in your personal business-" "your my bestfriend, you never interfere. i tell you everything" he smiles, as he reassures me as he could tell the uncomfortableness on my face.
"do you like anyone?" i say startling myself, i didn't mean to say it so quickly. i watch chris's facial expression change. "i was with fiona, and fiona had said" "what did she say?" "well she said you looked at me um in a certain way"
i look away towards the door as i try to comprehend what was going on, was i really about to do this right now? i was taken out of my thoughts as chris takes his hand and moves my head to look at him.
"what type of way is that? he smirks. "in a way that uh, you like me?" "and?" "and well chris is it truth?" i say looking down at my hands. "if it is?"
"chris" i whispered. "your my best friend." "i know what i am," he says against my skin. "what would that, what would that even look like?" "what would what look like?" "oh my god chris, us. fuck. you know us" "so you like me back?" "i never said that, i asked a question"
"what would it be like? what would 'us' even look like? i whisper into again him. "i can show you exactly what it would be like."
i felt him fisting the fabric of my shirt, as if he was stopping himself from doing more. then releasing it and placing his palm to my waist.
"if you were really mine, i'd do this all the time." his long fingers draped around my hip and pushed me against him from the waist down. hot. he felt so hot and hard, branding my skin, even with layers of fabric separating us.
"if you were mine, you'd crave this." he then closed the rest of the distance that separated us very slowly. bringing our bodies flush together with such softness and at such a painful pace that i praised and cursed him at the same time. "you would want it."
but wasn't i doing that?
before i could delve into that, chris's large body shifted, and my back was against a hard surface. he looked at me quite intensely as if he was trying to read me. read my facial expressions but my mind went blank, making my whole body go blank. most importantly my heart.
what am i doing? what was i doing was all that was going through my head. he leans into me, running his hand over my cheek before pulling me into him, closing the space between us completely. i wanted to move. i needed to get out of here, but why was i feeling so safe. why did i feel happy under his touch?
chris places his other hand around my waist before fully bringing his face near mine. his lips were just centimeters away from mine. pulling me in with his hand. our lips had barely grazed. "im sorry, but i can't. im sorry" i say pulling away and grabbing my things.
"wait- what? don't go." "im so sorry, chris," i say choked as tears begin to run down my face. he had looked at me in confusion. it was only seconds later to a minute was how quickly i got out of there.
sprinting in the direction of my car as i walk out the house. i sit for a minute to catch my breath before placing the key in the ignition and starting up the car. it felt as if i could hear his voice around me, i could still see that expression. it was killing. the look he gave me. that look that was pastured on his face when i walked out.
i had finally reach my apartment making me sigh in relief. quickly getting out of car and walking up to my apartment, i couldn't get myself to put the key in the door and step in. i wasn't expecting to come home tonight. let alone be alone.
i stand there, placing a hand on the door before taking a deep breath and turning the key to let myself in. i was the one who did it. he didn't walk out on me, i walked out on him but yet why does it hurt so much.
placing my stuff on the table, i walk in the direction of my room. grabbing some fresh clothing. i couldn't be in his clothes anymore, running my fingers along the end of the shirt and almost staring at it as it reminded me of time he gave it to me. i quickly stopped the flashback that was about to occur as quickly pull it over my head and toss it to the side, along with my shorts.
i walk into the connecting bathroom to turn on the shower, stepping away and looking in the mirror to run my fingers over my cheek, where he ran his fingers over and moved down to my waist. running my hand over the spot repeatedly as if i was still trying to feel his touch.
i felt desperate, needy. craving his touch again. but i know getting out of there was something i needed to do to protect myself. why did it have to be from him? i had no idea but now catching myself in train of thought, i turn around and fully strip my underwear and bra and walk in.
i didn't really remember getting out of the shower and laying down. it had been about an hour later, as i have fidgeted through my sheets. tossing and turning but nothing had seemed to work. there was one thing and one thing only that ran through my mind. that almost kiss and him.
my phone screen lit up my dark room, making me roll over and hesitantly grab the phone. there were multiple missed calls and messages from him.
about to play the first message, i exit out the app and throw the phone on the floor. standing up to catch my breath and placing in my room i hear the door. what seemed like a faint knock only for it to be a bit louder. wiping my eyes, i walk out of my room and towards the front door.
"who is it?" i say clearing my throat as i start to unlock and open the door. "yes? how can i help you- chris?" i say in a very hushed tone. "what are you doing here?" "i wanted to see you, why did you leave? was it something i did?"
"chris, you shouldn't be here" "i know but i want to know why you left, did i make you uncomfortable?" i shoved my hands in my pajama pockets as i take a step back making chris step towards me. "chris please" i beg, as i feel everything inside me tear apart.
"just answer my question please and i'll go. i promise, i just need to know" he said in an almost whisper that rang around my head.
my hands stayed in my pockets; his were at his sides. we weren't touching, not really. i had the sudden, sharp memory of the way his fingers had brushed against mine a few hours before. he bent his face down to my shoulder, his breath slipping through three layers of cloth to warm the skin there.
one of his fingers hooked at the strings of my pajamas and inched me just that tiny bit closer. his nose skimmed up my throat, along my cheek, and i saw none of it. i squeezed my eyes shut as his forehead finally came to rest against mine.
"look at me."
"don't do this," i whispered.
"i don't know what's wrong with me," he breathed out. "i feel like, i feel like i'm losing my damn mind, like your face has been carved into my heart, and i don't remember when, and i don't understand why, but the scar is there, and i can't get it to heal. it won't go. i can't make it fade. and you won't even look at me."
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tags: @nicksmainbitch @sturniolossss @sturnlova @its-jennarose @freshsturns @luverboychris @canthelpit0 @ghostlypineappl @sturnzsblog @sluttformatt @urfavstromboli @junnniiieee07 @drpepperworshipper @ksturniolo7 @samandcolbyfan22 @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @h3arts4harry @patscorner @iluvmattyb @mattslovelygf @blahbel668 @mattscoquette @wh0resstuff @crack240
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#chrissturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris#matthew sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#orangelala
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[alt]
2x21 "crisis" really is a perfect episode
#mash#i cannot BELIEVE the plot of this episode was really it's cold and we need to snuggle for warmth#the supply line got cut off so we need communal sleepovers for Morale Reasons#it's PERFECT!#i just know frank is that kid who's like 'can we please be quiet and go to sleep'#frank thinks they're gonna get in trouble if they're too loud#i'm going to finish s2 today and i really enjoyed it overall!#i think it's stronger than s1 (understandably) and the episodes have more rewatchability#however on the other hand there episodes like for want of a boot and as you were that feel like all set up and no payoff#similarly dear dad 3 didn't really feel committed to the epistolary format and didn't do anything interesting or meaningful with it#also bc i am a person who loves spoilers and context i know what happens to henry so every passing episode i am filled with dread#that's my DAD what do you MEAN he's gonna get shot down over the sea of japan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also mclean stevenson is giving possibly my favourite performance. he's just Saying things by accident#not one word in his mouth has ever been there on purpose he is possessed by the spirit of your dumbest uncle#i'm still lukewarm on trapper. the vulture instinct i feel on account of him looking like buddy the elf has settled#i no longer want to tear that man to shreds out of primal rage i only wish he'd get his own plot & a more distinct personality#those are all my thoughts rn#i have to bribe myself with the Very Special Gay Episode so i can finish this cover letter#id in alt text
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How to set S.M.A.R.T goals
Well, January's almost over... Have you abandoned your New Year's resolutions yet? Did you give up trying to work out for an hour every day yet? It's never too late to start fresh and a new hour, day, week, or month could be the chance to hit that restart you need.
It's great to be ambitious, but a hint of realism can make our goals more achievable.
S - Specific
What exactly do you want to accomplish? Why do you want to accomplish this? Get into the smallest details about what it is you actually want. Don't just say you want to 'glow up', what does this actually mean for you?
M - Measurable
How are you going to accomplish it? Break this big goal into little steps. If you want to 'get clear skin', how will you do this? Will you make sure you drink your water every day? Will you develop a skincare routine that you stick to?
A - Achievable
Is this something you can actually get done? Is this something possible for you? There is no limit in life, but if you make a goal that you don't believe you can actually achieve, you're setting yourself up to fail because your own belief is not there. Pick a goal and commit to it. Commit to the idea of yourself being able to succeed in whatever it is.
R - Relevant
Is this goal in line with your greater ambitions? Is this something that will help you become the best version of yourself? How will achieving this thing benefit you? Do you believe it is the best thing for you? If so, why?
T - Timely
How long do you think this will take you? How long do you want this to take you? Do you have the time to dedicate to accomplishing this goal? If not, are you prepared to make time to spend working towards your goal?
How I set S.M.A.R.T goals
Let's use the example of my Tumblr. At the start of the year, I decided that I wanted to start a blog. I didn't just write 'start a Tumblr blog' in my 2024 planner and leave it there, I wanted to 'start a Tumblr blog AND grow it consistently', but even this wasn't all. I didn't set a goal to reach x number of followers by the end of the year, but my main goal was to post consistently every week. I set myself the goal of posting at least once a week, instead of trying to post 5x a week because realistically, I know how busy things can get. I knew that starting this blog would help me improve my own discipline, and also allow me to help others, thus making me a better, more committed person. I was prepared to dedicate an hour of my time every week to sit down and just write. I've done this so far in January and hope to continue this for the rest of the year.
Instead of just setting goals in your head, try to put exactly what you want to accomplish into words somewhere for you to look back for motivation, but also to have as a plan of action to get it done.
#lifeblr#becoming that girl#girlblogger#girlblogging#it girl#self improvement#that girl#self care#goal setting#goals#motivation
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PAC :
What's in your store for January
Pile 1 -3
Hello love's hope you had a very happy and fruitful new year , I'm praying for the happiness and well being of all of us one more year together I'm so grateful for each one of youuu
Please choose using your intuition and take what resonates
If you'd like a personalized reading for new year
Paid readings , paid readings 2 , masterlist
Pile 1 :
First of all what are you guys even dealing with good lord The energy is pretty heavy , I will not be surprised if you have prominent Saturn in your charts this month I believe you are dealing with karmic cycles , Things ending in general, you might be a bit shaken up soon something you thought never would happen will happen
I'm sensing career or home sector fights could be there as well as inner conflicts beware and take precautions don't get too caught up about what others have to say rather choose your own story this also indicates you might soon take a stand for yourself its really required something has to come to an end because the time is over now you are to urge for more ! Financially! Abundance is written for you this time your creativity will pay off I know you like you play with fire but remember life moulds you like a clay some fire glazes some melts you gotta choose your own battles why do I feel like I'm talking to myself lol .
You will understand the worth of spontaneous plans soon sometimes you gotta do stuff for the sake of doing it and you just gotta act wild just be careful about the fact that everyone you go out with isn't a friend every co worker doesn't mean good for you learn to see through people's mask ! Theres one video by persephonesmind its perfect she explains it really well , followed by ten of swords some of you might experience a rock bottom moment however it isn't for everyone but with the world be assured you will pick yourself up this might seem like a bad ending but it's a good one or turn out to be good it's a matter of time bae anyone who tries to play you cheat on you will be ashamed themselves because they will see the purity in your heart .towards the end of the month I see some enemies becoming friends.
Pile 2 :
You're a bad bitch period !! This month is about embodying the best version of yourself move on despite the snakes around you ignore the people you're gonna be investing on something that is worth it it's a sign ! Friendships are something you will be blessed this month new and old you will also actively let go of a fear of yours I heart heights and abandonment issues.
If you're looking for commitment from someone it will be given this month like engagements marriage yay social media fame is also written there would be more family functions to attend to I see more active energy in this pile. You will understand the worth of standing alone and work your intuition through difficult situations .Your dreams might be a clear indicator of something also I feel you're making someone cry or someone is making you cry ask advice from someone who's been there in your situation you can also ignore if the situation isn't as important I also feel ignorance energy I guess it's good because you're also healing from abandonment issues .
You'll be doing some course on money management or get advise from your elders on your resources. Sometimes we make our own problems dont get sucked into that take time but let your loved ones know that you need it ! Also you really need that money management advice as you might end up losing something but I also don't think it will he a bad loss ! Sometimes sacrifices are necessary you might understand the worth of small losses now but that will protect from bigger issues later.
Pile 3 :
I don't dress for women I don't dress for men lately I've been dressing for revenge! That's your main mood this January you're gonna show everyone who didn't believe in you what you're capable of you're going new heights reaching new goals making new ways I'm so proud of you
You have struggled a lot to do this actions manifesting you are getting closer to what you want , might fetch yourself a new leadership position this month you're gonna be an example an epitome of grown beside the struggles because you're so ready to work despite all the sneaking going on behind your back you're gonna be doing the thing needed to defeat your enemies you will undergo momentary defeat and might cry for a while because you might feel all forces are against you this is the time to pour into your inter child
When trauma shows up remember to shadow work nothing ever goes away one needs to heal with it don't get swayed away with temptations and fake promises I heard devil is strong but so is the knight know that your emotional strength will lead you through this you have to be more intune with your emotions but also lead with logic it's a hard balance to learn but once you're on it you become undefeated and you will be I'm so sure about that.
Thank you so much for reading
Have a great day/night ahead ❤️
#Spotify#pac tarot#tarot pac#pac readings#pac reading#pac#pick a deck#pick a photo#pick a card reading#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a pile#tarot card reading#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarotblr
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When Someone Tries to Touch Your Hair
JJK men x gn black!reader
I had this idea for a little while and I absolutely love it. As someone who has to literally fight off ppl with a stick to keep them from basically "petting" me, I thought it would be so cute to write about the JJK men sticking up for you
Warnings: Fluff!, no nsfw but MINORS ARE STILL NOT ALLOWED GO AWAY, angst in Gojo's, specified braids/locs/twists in Toji's, unwanted physical touch, I think that's it!
Starring: Nanami Kento, Toji Fushiguro, Gojo Satoru
MINORS DNI. AGELESS AND MINOR BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
Nanami Kento
Of course he remains calm, he's always calm. but trust, inside he is BOILING with anger
Kento adores your hair, it sounds weird but he loves watching you on wash day care and tend to your hair with such detail and precision. Apart of it is so he can learn to do it himself one day so you won't have to spend so much time doing it yourself
He's always buying the best products for you no matter how expensive he knows black hair care products can be.
Design Essentials, Creme of Nature, Mielle, jojoba oil, tea tree oil, hair masks, curling cream-- you name it (or even glance at it in the store) he's already bought it for you
So seeing someone disrespect you by even attempting to touch you makes him absolutely livid
Kento: "I don't know I didn't think it was all that great, the plot didn't really make a lot of sense." Kento said as you two walked out the doors of the movie theater.
Y/N: "What?! I thought it was good, you're always hating on superhero movies you're like an old person. Oh! the boba place closes at 9:30 did you still wanna--
"Oh my gosh I just have to ask who does your hair? It's so pretty!" A young woman around your age popped up from behind you guys, her intensity kind of startling you a little bit
Y/N: "Oh, thank you that's so sweet! I actually do it myself" you smiled and she looked at you in astonishment
"Really? Wow it looks like it was done by a professional, I bet it takes you so long!"
Kento's eyebrow raise and body stiffen in an almost defensive way, he was already anticipating what was coming next
Y/N: "Yeah, sometimes it can. It kind of just depends on how tired I am that d--
Your body leaned back as she reached out to grab the top of your head. Kento wrapped his arm around you and pulled you back by your shoulders, shooting daggers at the woman as if she had just committed an unforgivable act
Kento: "Please step back. You don't need to touch them to compliment them." he reprimanded and held a firmer grip on your shoulder. He wasn't going to yell at a woman he didn't know but he sure as hell was going to get his point across
"O-oh Im sorry I didn't mean anything by it. I just think it looks really ni--
Kento: "Then you can think it's nice from a distance, they're not a dog. Have a good night." Kento intwined your hand in his and led you away to the car. You looked up at him and a small grin grew across your face
Kento: "Don't look at me like that."
Y/N: "You're like a guard dog. Like a snappy little golden retriever." you giggled before planting a kiss on his jaw which he returned with one on the top of your head
Kento: "Cmon lets go get boba."
Toji Fushiguro
Rage, Rage, and more RAGE
The anger that fills this mans body when someone tries to touch you is immeasurable, ESPECIALLY if its a man
Sometimes you have to calm Toji down when someone tries but its no use, he's already out of his seat and practically ready to kill
Toji is definitely someone who values his personal space, so he completely understood your frustration when you talked about how crazy it is that some people think its okay to try and touch you without permission
He's only seen it happen a few times, thankfully most people had common sense. But there was always that one asshole that crosses the line
You and Toji were out on a late night supply run getting items for Megumis science fair project. You roamed through the aisles of the arts and craft store filling your basket with acrylic paint, styrofoam blocks, construction paper and glue sticks
Toji: "What kind of fifth grader does a science project on soil erosion? Can't we just do something normal like a volcano or something?"
Y/N: "Are you gonna keep complaining all night or are you gonna actually help find everything on the list?" You turned around mad dogging him, both of you were tired and a little bit cranky and snappy at one another. Most of it was playful but some of it intended
Toji: "You look like a pig when you scrunch your knows like that." He chuckled attempting to pull you in for a kiss
Y/N: "You bitch-- Go get someone to open the spraypaints for us!" You said shoving your hand in his face and pushing his head back. Toji sauntered away to find the nearest employee to assist you guys
You stood alone in the aisle for a few minutes scrolling through instagram to pass the time until Toji came back, until a tap on your shoulder caught your attention. A random man, had approached you attempting to spark a conversation. Your eyes jotted back and forth around the area wondering where tf could Toji be and why was he taking so long to get back
"You got a really pretty smile you know that? Pretty hair too, you do this all by yourself?" He asked and took one of your (protective style)'s in his hands
Toji: "Now you..." Toji came up behind the man and planted a firm grip on his shoulder, "...are way too ugly and way too short to think they'd ever want someone like you to touch them. Don't you think?"
The man trembled in place at the vast size difference between the two
"I--"
He couldn't get a whole sentence in before Toji pulled him back by his hair then slammed him head first into the shelves next to him, making the man scream in pain. The star captured the attention of multiple employees and needless to say it wasn't long until you were being led out of the building by security.
Toji: "Did I do too much again?" He asked from the passenger seat, knowing full well he didn't regret his actions
Y/N: "We just got banned from the store, what do you think Toji?"
Toji: "Are you mad at me?"
Y/N: "Yes I'm mad!"
Toji: "Mm. The blush on your face doesn't look like someone who'd be mad at me." He grinned and you tried to hide the smile that started to form
Y/N: "Shut the fuck up."
Gojo Satoru
Gojo unfortunately was very ignorant to the topic at first
Maybe it was a cultural difference but when you told him people would ask to touch your hair he thought it wasn’t that big of a deal
“If someone admired your hair so much that they want to get close to it shouldn’t that be a compliment to you? It’s like they’re complimenting an artist for their artwork right? I don’t really see the harm in that, I touch Getos hair all the time and he's fine with it.” He said once before
Nonetheless it led to a very heated argument
He didn’t understand all the fuss around it, that was until he saw it actually happen
Seeing how physically uncomfortable you get when someone you don’t know tries to “pet” you put it all in perspective for him
Y/N: “Gojo, hurry we’re gonna miss the train!” You shouted as you ran through the subway station
Gojo: “I’m coming slow down! I don’t wanna drop anything.” He followed closely behind carrying the other bags of groceries you guys got from the farmers market
You both managed to slip through the train doors in time before it departed. You two managed to find two seats by the window, it was a preferred spot that way you both could gaze upon the countryside greenery as you passed on your way back to the city. Gojo leaned against the window and you leaned against his shoulder, the both of you trying to get some rest after a full day of walking.
The train stopped at its next spot to let on a few more passengers and a tap on your shoulder shook you out of your rest.
“Can i touch your hair?” a young woman behind you asked, but she had already reached out her hand before you could even answer. You pulled back before her hand could touch you
“Oh, um no please don’t do that…” you awkwardly said and turned back around. You looked over at Gojo who you know heard everything but was undermining the situation yet again
Gojo: “Calm down she didn’t mean anything by it, go back to sleep.” He dismissed you, not even bothering to open his eyes as he still laid against the window. You let out a low scoff and laid back against your seat instead of Gojos shoulder like you were before
The next few minutes we’re quiet as you dozed back off until you heard a loud camera click and could hear the girl frantically trying to turn the volume down
Y/N: “Did you just take a picture of me?”
“Oh it wasn't a bad one I was just sending your hairstyle to my friend I think it’s cute.”
Y/N: “I don’t care. Don’t take a fucking picture of me if—
“I didn’t even touch you so calm the fuck down…this is why no body likes to compliment you people anyways. You take everything too goddamn seriously.” she muttered the last bit under her breath but still loud enough to pick up. This sentence being the one that finally caught Gojos attention
Gojo: “What was that?” He stood up towering over the young woman
“I-I didn’t say anyth— I’m s-sor—
Gojo: “Shut up. Delete it. Now.” His eyes pierced through her and she scrambled to reopen her camera and delete the photos. She flipped the phone towards his face to show that they were no longer in her folder
Gojo: “Now go to a different seat. And if you touch them against i’ll smash that stupid fucking phone into the fucking concrete.” The young woman ran from her seat to the other side of the train as quickly as possible and Gojo sat back down. He attempted to put his arm around you but you wanted no part in it, for the next 30 minutes you ignored every attempt he made to get a word out of you. Even on the walk home you were cold
Gojo: “Y/N if you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t fix it!” he said as you entered your apartment
Y/N: “IVE TOLD YOU WHATS WRONG BEFORE. YOU DONT LISTEN!” you yelled, something he rarely heard you do, “I told you countless times before that people trying to touch me is a reoccurring problem for me and what did you do? You belittled me and made it seem like no big deal. Why did it take someone being blatantly racist towards me for you to actually start caring? Why did I have to prove the problem to you?” He looked back at you with no words just a stunned expression as he struggled to find the right thing to say
Gojo: “I…I don’t know. I’m sorry.” you rolled your eyes at his lackluster reply and turned away to the bedroom
Y/N: “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”
Gojo: “Y/N, wait I—
you slammed the door in his face before he could finish his sentence
story belongs to @nonbinaryeggrolls
do not steal
#nanami kento#toji fushiguro#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x black reader#toji x black reader#nanami x black!reader#jjk men#jjk headcanons#jjk angst#jjk
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what makes you think mikoto is good rep? specifically, what is it about double that convinces you?
Okay okay, it took me some time to perfectly articulate my thoughts on how MIkotos system isn't horrible rep and instead was tackled... Somewhat well? This was also written after me and another friend who's a system discussed this extensively and how our own situations lowkey match the situation Mikoto himself is facing. Under the cut because I did *not* expect this to get so long </3
To start it off with some debunking of things people have been mentioning as "oh but this proves he's not a system" (after Milgram itself confirmed them as one but oh well), the whole thing on how DID only appears during childhood isn't... Really the full truth? The most common thing to happen with DID is, instead, for someone to develop the conditions for it through their childhood, but the symptoms only start showing when older. I myself was a case of that and while it started around my 6 years, we only had our first split at 14. Mikotos just happen to be later. I personally also think that, during the phone call with his mom, there wouldn't just have a random baby crying noise for no reason. He probably developed it that early, but just didn't split until recently, however that's just my own reading and not anything confirmed.
For the point of "but then, why don't the milgram rules work on John if he is indeed the killer? This proves it's Mikoto who killed", just look at irl court cases of systems. The one being judged will always be the host almost all the times, after all, he's the main one who fronts, and not whichever alter committed the murder. The host and body would be the one in jail etc in a real life prison, not the alter who committed it. Milgram is a perfect parallel to that, with Mikoto being restrained and the Es barrier working on him even if he didn't commit any murder while John, the alter and one who committed the crime, doesn't has any restraints or barrier that work on him. Because Mikoto is the host and core of their system, not John.
Second, some quick system terminology. I'll be using the terms host, protector/persecutor and dormancy on this, so for a quick understanding: Host means that, basically, that alter is the one who mainly fronts and takes care of things, may or may not be the core ("original" person), but at Mikotos case I'll assume he's both the core and the host. Protector is what the name implies, they're alters who have as their purpose to protect the system and body. Persecutors just so happen to be protectors who have more drastic means to do things and will inherently be harmful to the system in a way in another, they are not necessarily bad, and might instead just be misguided and think what they are doing is a solution for a issue and that by doing so they're protecting the system. Finally, dormancy is when an alter of a system... Well, goes into dormancy. They can't come to front anymore and will be "asleep" for some time or even forever depending on the conditions. A inclusion is also possible, where two alters (or more) will become one etc, but I don't think that will be the case for Mikoto.
So, as it's settled, Mikoto is the Host and Core of the system and Orekoto/John is the Protector/Persecutor of it. Let's get to the explanation now.
Mikoto's split seemingly very much occurred due to the stress situation he had been feeling from his work. We have John welcoming him home twice through the mv and noticing that Mikoto isn't smiling or anything when coming home anymore and it isn't the only times judging by the "another day" mention. We can see on the second one he's either getting the subway to go home or go to work (probably the first one), but on the first time it's said we get to see Mikoto's phone and, specifically, messages coming through and through.
All the texts are coming from his boss, and from the looks of it Mikoto works for a black company in Japan, so it's no wonder he's stressed and very clearly depressed there. Judging by the time Mikoto would be going back home at midnight and, at that time, he's texted by his boss that he needs to remake a whole product and correct mistakes from another thing for the next day of work, and with "next day" you can bet they mean "when i see you in around 10 hours". For now, this is the main reasoning and sustenance we have for "but why did he split?", aka, Mikoto was under a lot of stress on work and it lingered even when he was home to the point that, eventually, John split as himself and, as himself said, he's got Mikoto, and he could leave it all to him.
By this point I like to think it was already John fronting to reply to the boss call. John got tired of Mikoto overworking himself to the brink of breaking down to appease to his boss and superiors and, wanting to help, came to front to "take it all on" in his own words. I think bringing MeMe up for Double discussion is extremely important because we have to remember that MeMe was visibly only from Mikoto's point of view while in Double we have John telling his own point of view. I don't think Mikoto is lying about not knowing he's a system etc, but instead that Mikoto thinks something is wrong, yes, that he knows whoever this person ruining his life is both not him and him at the same time (mirror scene), but isn't aware exactly that he's a system. John is portrayed as scary and evil and cruel etc in MeMe because that's what Mikoto assumes to be happening, Mikoto doesn't know whatever John is doing and what are his intentions, we knew since them Mikoto is the type of guy to take things happening to him lightly (joking about the milgram situation etc) because he may think he deserves it, and this extended to his work and personal life. Through MeMe we see Mikoto looking sad and not smiling anytime until we got to the ending in the headspace where he's sitting on the couch somewhat smiling, but not looking downright miserable like he is in double because Mikoto's main focus was that there is some scary guy there, not that his work life was putting him under so much strain to the point of splitting. Hell, his work life was never brought up until Double anyways, because Mikoto didn't think it was important and kept playing as if it was cool (even during the call with his mom in Double, as John showed us) and that he could handle it, meanwhile Double has John showing us just how miserable Mikoto looked after work and some situations that would happen on his day to day work, how he never went back home smiling etc. MeMe has a bigger focus on Mikoto, as a Host, not knowing that he's a system and how scary that can feel when you're fully unaware of why you're seemingly doing certain actions that you're not aware of when they're brought up to you, meanwhile Double focuses on his alter, John, telling us about his own motivations and the truth about Mikoto's daily life, showing us that whatever it is he did was to protect Mikoto because being a protector is his role in the system. Mikoto didn't take his issues seriously in MeMe, and in Double John gives us a glimpse on how bad it was. For Mikoto, all of his personal issues were coming from the fact that there was an Evil Scary Serial Killer guy around, while John tells us that nuh uh, it was capitalism all along and he'll protect Mikoto from that stress.
The voice drama also tracks some of these points, such as Es mentioning that Mikoto laughs whenever he's troubled and rarely gets angry or frustrated, ignoring problems, and Es mentioning that John acts more rationally, contrary to what he expected... After all, Es' only views of John came from MeMe as a mv, and then from John getting angry and frustrated as Es because, in the beginning, to John it all felt like people were trying to trouble and hurt Mikoto yet again. He was just doing his job as a protector.
I've seen most people say that the "made me a scoundrel" refers to us, the viewers, but also... I feel it might also just be John talking with Mikoto himself. Mikoto saw John as a evil bad alter on MeMe as we just discussed, and from what we see here... Yes, John is violent and impulsive, but he's still a protector who did things with the goal of "I need to protect Mikoto" in mind. We didn't knew that through the entirety of MeMe because Mikoto himself didn't know, and John might be frustrated that the guilty verdict could have come only because Mikoto portrayed himself in such a way first and foremost. John asks him why he's crying because I'm fairly sure he isn't aware that Mikoto isn't aware of him either. The main issue at play here is the fact their system communication is horrible if not non existent. They can't communicate with each other properly for some reason even through writing etc, so there's no way for them to be certain of how the other feels. There's no way for Mikoto to know why John was doing all that. There's no way for Mikoto to know John was trying to protect and help him.
John in the middle of Double even states that he doesn't know why he's there. So yes, most of us are all assuming it was all due to Mikoto's stress with work, but hell we could all be wrong because, again, Mikoto refuses to open up and actually talk about issues with anyone. "Come to know me as an honest man" is John asking for all of us and Es to go and know him as himself, as John the alter, and not the vision Mikoto had of him on MeMe and the entirety of trial one. Because yes, you can't change the violent nature of his, but we should at least come to know and understand that he is a protector and was simply trying his best to protect Mikoto from something (what? We don't know and can't be sure, but yet again, our best bet for now is his job). John is seemingly willing to open up more this trial, admitting he is indeed the one who committed the murder and asking Es to understand the situation they're being put under, with Mikoto feeling stressed and please forgive him, because Mikoto is not the one who committed the murders. I'm sure we will get more on their situation etc when the questions for Mikoto and Kotoko come, but for now we only have that.
John simply wished to save and protect Mikoto, he himself doesn't know how it all ended like *this* (Mikoto as guilty and not innocent, running away from him on the train because, again, Mikoto isn't aware John is simply trying to help him). Having John asking us to forgive Mikoto many times through both the mv (first image of these 3) and voice drama (next screenshot) basically affirms his beliefs and wishes, that he wants us to guilt him, but not Mikoto. After all, if we get another guilty verdict? In his own words Mikoto will go into dormancy due to the stressful situations of having two guilty verdicts in a row, but if Mikoto gets a innocent this time around? Then, there will be less need for John to front... After all, if the situation becomes a bit more calming for them, then John's purpose of protecting Mikoto will be gone for some time... What we can't have, however, Is Mikoto going into dormancy and then forcing John as the new host, because John wouldn't know what to do by then. He was born to be a protector and his identity is intrinsically connected to this role, the duty of protecting Mikoto, for him, comes above him as his own person. With Mikoto's dormancy, John himself would lose his purpose and motive of existing.
And even so, John apologizes at the end of the milgram, questioning even his own existence that "none of this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't even born". In John's eyes, he failed on his role of a protector by getting Mikoto into this situation. The protector guilt is shown so greatly on John that I did tear up a bit when first watching the Double mv and reading the lyrics. The fact they expanded away from the "scary evil alter" troupe that Mikoto made us belief in trial 1 into a protector/persecutor who feels guilt that his actions caused harm to the host? Into a protector with low empathy who cares more for the well being of their host than his own? Mikoto was neutral on the scale of "is this good system rep" for me initially because, again, Mikoto himself didn't know he was a system. Now we got more information on how things work thanks to John and, from the feelings of how scary finding out there's someone else besides you to the fear of realizing that the person who did whatever the hell it was wasn't you mentally, but it physically was you at the same time is terrifying. I think their writing was very well handled to cover the topics of fear and guilt from both sides. Mikoto is still a host who's unaware of the fact he's a system. John is a protector who feels like he failed on his role after getting Mikoto into this mess. Their communication, due to seemingly being a recent split, is non existent so they cant fully talk with each other to comprehend the other. To me, this is a perfect example of how it felt when I myself found out I wasn't a singlet. I don't think Mikoto's writing is perfect and has no flaws, not at all, but on the grander scale of things? Having this type of rep coming from a japanese song media franchise is great and almost unseen since it's mostly always used as a joke or for the scary evil alter trope alone. Milgram and the team could do some stuff better, sure, but from what we have right now? It's far from me of calling them "bad system representation". After all, just like John tells Mikoto, they're both doing their best.
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AITA for being upset at how my former friends treated me?
tw: suicide and animal death
So for some context this was a very close knit friendgroup, for several years, of about 10 people, including me and my then partner. Also, everyone here is an adult.
Basically, one day I was in a really really bad place mentally. A beloved family pet was going to be put down soon, this dog had been a part of my life for almost half my life, and I was inconsolable and struggling to cope with this. During a discussion about some random interest I got too mean/harsh about it and it turned into an argument.
I know this was not justified and my grief wasn't an excuse, and I knew it then too and apologized to the people involved, and was met with overwhelming support, I was told "it's ok, we understand you're going through a rough thing right now, we're here to support you and you'll always have a place in this group"
Then my partner messaged me. They had not been part of the discussion at all, but they told me they felt hurt and wanted us to take a break. However, I misinterpreted that as a break up (combination of language barrier and me already being in shambles. This miscommunication is not something my ex can be blamed for)
This was an extremely serious relationship, we had been together for 2 years at that point and had a lot of future plans and such, so that on top of already grieving made me have a mental breakdown.
So, I vented on my personal tumblr. My vents did not mention/vague/allude to the situation at all, they amounted to "I feel terrible I can't do this anymore" and could very well have been only about my dog, or just about my depression in general. I also should point out that my ex doesn't use tumblr at all, so I didn't think he'd ever see those vents, and I certainly didn't want him to. And I also would not have reacted like that if I had known it was a temporary break. I know I still shouldn't have vented on a public blog, and it was hurtful no matter what. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.
The next day, after our dog was put down, I sought support from my friends, but was suddenly met with "we're not impressed with how you've acted, get therapy, bye" and was kicked from the group. Several of them blocked me everywhere instantly.
Unbeknownst to me, someone had sent my vents to my ex and they had shown them to the others, and they'd drawn the conclusion that I was upset about a temporary break and was venting to try to guilt my ex into getting back with me. And not a single one of them brought this up to me. Again, we'd all been friends for several years at that point and this was literally the day after telling me I'd always be a part of the group and they were here for me. I couldn't even defend myself because no one would tell me anything, I asked many times but was told "you know what you did" even though I clearly didn't. I thought they'd all changed their minds about the previous day out of nowhere, or that this was because of (what I thought was) the breakup. I only learned what they actually thought much later. Oh, and my ex told me I needed therapy and he never wanted anything to do with me again (which is when I learned I'd been wrong about the breakup).
Again, I know me venting was harmful no matter what, so in that regard I am the asshole, but I still feel like there's a difference between what I did and deliberate manipulation, and surely people I'd been friends with for years could have spoken to me before assuming things?
So at that point I'd lost a beloved pet, my partner, and most of my close friends, within a day. So at that point I tried but failed to commit suicide, and was hospitalized.
While in the hospital, I didn't get a single word from any of my friends, except for one person. Supposedly, everyone had been "worried out of their minds" when they saw my suicide note. But not worried enough for a single word.
Even the one person who talked to me got extremely defensive and angry if I so much as implied I felt hurt by the group's actions. They even tried to hold it over my head how "despite everything you did X and Y were super worried about you" as if being worried about someone comitting suicide is some kind of heroic saint.
I asked to be allowed to talk things out with them, but was told "the others aren't comfortable associating with you", so I had to write a fucking google doc letter. I explained the situation from my perspective, apologized for my actions etc, but also made it clear that I felt hurt and didn't think their reaction was justified and that they should have at least talked to me first, and that I was very open to talking things out in person if any of them wanted to get back to me.
None of them did. Apparently they were writing a formal collective response letter to me. At which point I had enough of the silent treatment and said that if any of them had anything to say to me they could do so in person. Which made the group extremely angry because I was "silencing" them.
About three people got back to me, and all of their responses amounted to "we don't owe you an apology, our actions were justified because we thought you'd done something bad and we were just trying to protect [my ex] and the fact that you're upset about it proves you are bad" one of them compared me to their abuser.
They also said they'd been "having issues with my behavior for a long time now", I wish I could elaborate here in case it'd impact judgement, but I can't because none of them specified, and NOTHING of the sort had been brought up to me previously.
So. Again, I know I am the asshole to some extent, because regardless of my mindset me venting on my tumblr was still harmful, but I also feel like I was treated unfairly and cruelly by my former friends. AITA here?
What are these acronyms?
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AS SAID BY IRON BULL
* assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version
hey, don't top from the bottom.
next time you're free, why don't you come grab a drink?
didn't figure you were the kind to bed your way to power.
love is all starlight and gentle blushes. passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets.
do you want your silky underthings back, or did you leave those like a token?
you're the toughest, wisest, most beautiful person i've ever met.
these big muscled hands could tear those robes off you while you struggled, helpless in my grip.
i will never hurt you without your permission. you will always be safe.
you don't need to be afraid... unless you want to.
you see us as this forbidden, terrible thing, and you're inclined to do the forbidden...
you want to watch, don't you?
make sure you undress him with your eyes... respectfully.
i'd offer to help you get rid of that frustration but, you know... i'm in a committed relationship.
next time we're alone, i'm going to pin you down and do things your body won't believe.
all that crap made sense to you?
i can't tell you how proud i'm gonna be, watching you out there, addressing them... with this big, old love bite on your neck.
wait, i'll flex a little for you. make it easier.
that staff's in pretty good shape. do you spend a lot of time polishing it?
i can see you don't want to talk about it. bet you looked good doing it, though.
how do you manage that while staring up at everyone's ass the whole time?
you and i are fine as long as you don't do any weird crap.
i'd pin you down, and as you gripped me, i... would... conquer... you.
oh, for shit's sake.
good. i like that energy. stoke those fires, big guy.
all i'm saying is... you ever want to explore that, my door's always open.
worked that out on your own, did you?
you're not as flashy as most mages.
wait, did you "forget" them so you'd have an excuse to come back? you sly dog.
i didn't say it was healthy.
you don't actually like thinking about hurting people, do you?
if you do that, everyone knows you're a spy.
still waiting for me to do something sneaky and spy-like?
we probably won't try down to burn down a city this time.
really not sad i missed that one.
you're lucky then. it was awful.
you only lack the will to get more blood on your hands?
enjoying the great outdoors?
this area's low on dancing girls, sadly.
i've always liked fighting.
i'm not sure you know what you're asking. not sure if you're ready for it.
well, that's a fucking relief.
i'm fine. hurt myself worse than this fooling around in bed.
so, you going to let me have it, [name]? or do i get to wait and wonder?
you really kicked the crap outta that guy.
it's pretty hot where we're from.
it's not a secret. it's just too big for a quit chat.
you get that thing i asked about?
maybe you should stand in front of me.
you ever get the asses mixed up?
you're a damn fine marksman.
i fell on a guy who tried to stab me in the gut.
all right, now you're just making it weird.
nobody fights well when their clothes are on fire.
i... didn't mean to offend you.
that hurts, [name]. that's hurtful.
i may have done it a couple of times on purpose.
i cold 'cause it freezes them, and then they break into little bits when i chop them in half.
with the magic, do you prefer fire, or lightning, or cold, or what?
you don't need to worry. i have no intention of trying to leash anyone.
are you gonna write me into one of your stories?
it's just daring somebody to try to attack it.
when that breaks, you fix it. like we're doing now.
in theory, they're no different from anyone else.
anyone who takes that burden and lives a good life with it has many respect.
you're pretty tall for a human.
the bloodstains are good for scaring enemies.
could you make it sound angrier? "love" is a bit soft.
tell me more about the coat.
i don't need a book to remind me that the world is full of horrible crap.
you're really good with that bow.
it's just friendly. i won't step in your business.
what i'm saying is, please stop stealing my kills.
we should get shirts. probably need different sizes.
i think you're confusing. how can you just pick and choose what parts you believe in?
you know, i really like hitting things.
who has sex smelling like roses?
hey, i don't hate you. you and me? we're good.
hey, no-pants fridays is a cause.
it's a difficult thing you've done, turning your back on one life to live another.
#iron bull#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#rp meme#rp memes#rp prompt#roleplay memes#rp starters#roleplay prompt#ask memes#roleplay meme#ask meme#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters#mcflymemes
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Pit Babe Colors Ep. 8
I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also. It's just colors and vibes here. Also, I know way more than I intended because of comments and reblogs on previous posts, so I'm in the know now.
Kim looking at Kenta's face right before the elevator closed is the only thing keeping me from losing it. If Kentana doesn't save Kimberly, what is the point of this?! What is the point of Kentana?!
Are y'all a couple now? Y'all are starting to color and outfit coordinate, and it feels very gay.
I don't know what to do with these two.
I'm pretty sure I'm just not seeing pink on Pete, which means he has connections to the red, and Way refuses to stay blue, so I'm sure he is still planning some corrupt red nonsense.
JUST BE BLUE! Just be in love with each other. Accept his love, Waymond!
I never thought I'd write this, but be like Jeffrey, Waymond. Turn blue. Commit to the blue. Fall in love!
Look at him! No matter what connection he has to the red, he is beating the allegations. Peter is a GOOD MAN! If Waymond doesn't fall in love with him, somebody else will. Guaranteed.
Not going to read too much into that red stripe at the top of the room, but this is a red's room. Is this Kimberly's?! Why is there so much blood?!
When you take people's superpowers, yet have no idea how to use the superpowers. Apparently, Babe without superpowers is still better than everyone else. At least Charles is no longer a lying blue.
I think Big Red knows something is different with Babe, and even though Jeffrey still has that damn red bag . . . IS THAT WAYMOND?! No, Waymond, no! Do NOT work with Big Red. You have Peter RIGHT THERE! Quit your bullshit, Waymond!
WTF, Kentana?! If I have to pick between you two, I pick Peter. No contest. Kimberly, Peter, and Alan above everyone else. Kentana, you better stop it! You are still on my shit list!
Hold up! Do you two know each other? Like biblically? What is this tension? What are these looks? Why does this feel very personal? I ain't mad at it, but Kentana still needs to save Kimberly!
Jeffrey, why would you go there in that red and blue flannel shirt?! That won't save you, buddy!
Kentana, the ONLY thing that will redeem you is saving Kimberly. I didn't like Jeffrey, but now he is matching with Alan, so they are in love, and you can't break Alan's heart! You are just fucking up left and right today, and I hope you get punched in the throat before this episode is over.
KIMBERLY IS DYING! And y'all are about to have sex in the blue after tending wounds which is pointless because you have superpowers that will heal you!!!!!! Y'all continue to amaze me by the lack of priorities. Save Kim Possible!
Why is this shot in the mirror? Why is there a barrier between you two? This is odd. More lies?
Who takes a shot like that?! A KILLER! Barbara, get it together! This isn't an episode of Dead Friend Forever, and you are no longer a red.
Everything about this scene is ridiculous. Charles in blue. SONIC in blue. North and Waymond in black. AND EVERYONE IS DRINKING RED SODA! This not looking good for the blues. Whatever they are talking about, the reds already won.
Barbara continues to be touchy-feely with Waymond. Why can't he just let Waymond brood in peace? Barbara knows Waymond loves him, yet gives Waymond no space. Go tend to your boyfriend's fake injuries, Barbara! Waymond is working with Big Red and not falling in love with Peter, yet you have me feeling bad for him, Barbara. I should hate Waymond! BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE YOU WON'T LEAVE HIM BE!
These two have to be sleeping together. Cooking Crush had the Chicken Bite product placement too and Prem and Ten definitely want each other in that show, so North and Sonic have to want each other too, yes? Yes. Now why are they watching Whiny Winifred while flirting IN THE BLUE?! They finally are both wearing blue at the same time. Thank, Baby Jesus.
I was worried seeing Waymond in the red doorway, but he has Charles and Barbara. But they aren't saving Kimberly. Why does nobody care about Kimberly?!
The kid is blue. Is he the insider informant? He is a child!
Why are there so many red kids in the world? Big Red, why do you need an army?! Overthrow your shitty kidnappers with your superpowers, kids! REVOLT! Sí se puede
KIMBERLY!
North and Sonic are going to save Kimberly! They are finally in the blue and saving my favorite red! I never doubted them!
WHAT THE FUCK?! THEY DIDN'T SAVE KIMBERLY?!
Southwest Airlines and Vegas' Hedgehog did NOT save Kimberly! Kentana watched as Kimberly got taken, then had the audacity to have chemistry with Peter. Jeffrey walked right into the reds like that was gonna save him instead of saving Kimberly! Whiny Winifred kicked Kimberly. Waymond is working with Big Red and not saving Kimberly. Charles and Barbara CANNOT prioritize and are talking to a blue kid and giggling at each other instead of rescuing Kimberly.
AND BARBARA IS FIGHTING PETER NEXT WEEK!
These men need to get their shit together! The ONLY things that needed to happened this episode were 1) SAVE KIMBERLY and 2) ACCEPT PETER'S LOVE! Neither happened. Honestly, Kentana and Waymond could die and leave Kimberly and Peter to be the power couple of Alan's company. They both wear too much black, and unlike Barbara, they aren't the title character, so either commit to the blue Waymond or Kentana, or else I'm gonna start thinking y'all are disposable.
#SAVE KIMBERLY#pit babe#pit babe the series#the colors mean things#and they will guide me the whole way through#color coded boys in love#episode 8#I'm so upset#all I care about right now is Kimberly!#SAVE HIM!#And quit fighting Peter‚ Barbara!
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I Found Love Where It Wasn't Supposed To Be
Stu Macher x Fem Ex!Reader
WARNING: ANGST, Commitment Issues
PREFACE: Reader and Stu dated during freshman year, when he seemingly dumped her out of nowhere. She moved out of Woodsboro shortly after, but returned for her Senior Year
A/N: Flashback in Italics!
Different POVs are in Colored and in Bold!
Tatum and Stu aren't together and Stu is not a killer in this A/U!
YOUR P.O.V.
It's been two years since I'd left Woodsboro. I couldn't just stay there after what happened with Stu, so when my parents divorced and my mom decided to move to the City, it was the perfect escape route.
The night we broke up, he invited me over to his house and sat me down in his living room.
"Stu, I can't be out past six on a school night. My dad's gonna freak"
"Alright then, I'll make this quick" he says,
As I nod.
"We're done"
His words making my heart sink in my chest.
"What?"
"Look, you're a sweet girl and all, but, we're just too...different", he explained,
"But Stu, we've been going out for months"
I could feel the tears in my eyes begin to gather and threaten to spill.
"Yeah, but, things change and so did I", he replied apathetically,
I scoff and get off the couch.
"You are unbelievable", I snap,
Making my way back to the front door.
"No, wait!", he calls out,
Leaping from the couch and following after me.
"(Y/N), I don't want you to hate me-"
"Too fucking late, dipshit", I spit,
Opening the door and letting myself out, before slamming it behind me.
That was the last time I ever saw him. That was the last time I saw anyone from that school actually. When I moved, I lost contact with all my friends. Sidney, Tatum, Billy and Randy would reach out every now and then, but that was about it.
Eventually, during my senior year, I was forced to go back, when my mom got a job offer in London.
"Mom, can I just go with you?"
"Honey, you can't just keep running away from your problems"
I sigh, flopping down on the couch.
"And you know what? I think it'll be good for you to see your old friends", she says,
Rounding the couch and sitting beside me.
"Plus, you father misses you", she adds,
"I know", I replied reluctantly,
"Good, I'll get everything sorted out"
It was the morning of my first day back and I'd barely gotten any sleep.
I mean, how could I? Even just the thought of seeing him again sent me into a spiral of dread and worry. What was I supposed to do if I ran into him? Pretend not to remember who he was? Walk past him like I didn't notice? Yell and scream? Too many questions and not enough time to even begin processing possible answers.
Once I finished my breakfast, I bid my father goodbye and made my way to the car. Within the next ten minutes of driving through town, I reach the parking lot and got out. Even just the sight of the school building knocked the air out of my lungs.
I hesitantly picked up my backpack, locked the doors and started walking towards the main entrance.
"No fucking way", I hear a girl's voice coming from the water fountain.
I turn to see who it was and there they were. My old group of friends.
"Tatum"
"(Y/N)!", she greets,
Running up and pulling me into a tight squeeze.
"Oh my god! When the hell did you get back?", she asks,
Pulling away.
"A week ago. I moved back since my mom got a job offer in London"
"And you didn't tell me?!"
"Surprise?"
She laughs and pulls me back into another hug. Just then, I see the rest of the group approaching us. Their eyes wide like they'd just seen a ghost.
"Woah!", Randy exclaimned,
Catching my attention.
"I guess the city really does do a person good", he joked,
Looking me up and down.
"Hi, Randy", I chuckle,
Giving him a hug.
"Sid, Billy", I greet,
Pulling them into a joint embrace. All that was left was-
"(Y/N)...it's been a while"
"Yeah", I nervously exhale,
Seeing him felt like someone plunging a knife into my chest and twisting it in to make it hurt. How could he be so okay, when I was still trying to recover from what happened?
"You look great", he compliments,
As I nod. What was I supposed to say to that?
Thankfully, by the grace of some god watching over me, we heard the first bell ring.
"I should get to English Lit"
"I have the class too, come on", Sidney let me know,
"Yeah sure, see you guys at lunch", I bid goodbye,
Before giving Stu one last look.
~
I didn't what to do. I obviously wasn't over what happened, but it's far too late to do anything about it now. I should be over it.
"(Y/N)?"
And it's not like he was thinking about it either. I was more than certain of that with how he ended things. So casual and cold, but...I couldn't help but think about how he looked at me today. Maybe I was just imagining things-
"(Y/N)", Sidney pulls me out of my thoughts,
"Sorry, what?"
"I was asking you about the assignment. Are you okay? You were totally spaced out", she questions,
"I'm just a little tired. I didn't get that much sleep"
"Something on you mind?"
Well, I was still not over my ex, who so happens to be apart of our very close-knit friend group and I don't think I ever will be, which’ll probably over-complicate things later down the road...but obviously I couldn't just spew all of that on her.
"I guess I just miss my mom, you know? She's might as well be on the god-damn moon", I tried to play off,
"Yeah, I get that feeling", she says,
Causing my eyebrows to quirk in confusion.
"Oh, you didn't hear"
"Hear what?"
"My mom passed. Cancer", she says,
As her eyes begin to weld with tears.
"Sid, I'm so sorry"
"You didn't know, it's fine", she reassured,
"Wow, I really did miss a lot", I say to myself,
"Yeah, but!", she takes my hands into hers.
"You're here now! We'll make new memories"
Yeah...we.
STU'S P.O.V.
It was really weird seeing her again. Not like a bad weird, just...kinda caught me off guard.
She was just as, if not more, beautiful than I remembered. Everything from the top of her head to the soles of her feet were nothing short of perfect.
God, I really screwed that up. I knew I brought this upon myself, so I had no right to blame anyone else, but of course it still sucked. There was so much I could've said and even more I should've said, but I didn't have the guts. I mean, how could I? After what I did?
Just as I was about to start spiraling, I was hit in the face with a crumpled up piece of paper.
"Dude"
"Don't dude me, you were thinking about (Y/N)"
"I wasn't"
"Don't give me that shit, you totally were", Billy calls out my bluff,
Making me sigh to myself.
"Thought you said you ended things with her?", he emphasized,
"I did"
"So? Why the emotional blue balls, then?"
Thankfully, the lunch bell saved me from any more of Billy's harassment.
"Look, just drop it, alright? I'm fine", I played off,
Grabbing my bag and heading out, with Billy trailing close behind me.
"No, you're not fine"
"Well, if you're such an expert on how I really feel, then why don't you just spell it out for me?"
"My theory? You lied about why you ended things"
The moment he said that, I felt my heart drop to my stomach.
"Yeah, sure"
"Come on, Stu. Things were going so great and you just pulled a whole one eighty. If you ain't gonna tell me, then who will you tell?", he questions,
Just as we were about to reach the table where the gang was.
"Shhh, shut the fuck up", I warned,
Taking a seat.
YOUR P.O.V.
"So, remember the guy I was spilling about?", Tatum asked,
Taking a bite of her pizza slice.
"You mean Dave?", Sid questioned,
"I thought you were talking about Ethan", I say,
With confusion laced in my words. As we saw one of Tate's eyebrows raise, it triggered the realization to sink in.
"Nice!", I encouraged,
Causing Tate to chuckle at me. Before we could delve any deeper into Tatum's rollercoaster love life, the guys take a seat right across from us.
"Hey girls"
"Hi, Randy", we all greet in unison,
"Billy, Stu", Tate addresses on our behalf.
To call this whole interaction awkward would've been the understatement of the millennium.
I go to grab a napkin and as I did, I felt a familiar hand brush against mine. It brought me right back to freshman year, when Stu first asked me out.
I was eating lunch, while doing my assignments, when a particularly tall shadow blocks the cafeteria's light, causing me to look up.
"Hi"
"Hey, Macher, what's up?", I ask,
"Nothin much, this seat taken?"
"Um, no. Go ahead", I gesture to the empty bench across from me.
"So, we've never really spoken outside of Chem"
"We have not"
"Why is that?', he questions,
"Uh...", I wondered,
Looking around.
"I don't actually know", I chuckle nervously,
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that they're showing Return Of The Living Dead 3 on Friday and word around the hallways says you're kind of a horror movies connoisseur, so-"
"Are you asking me out on a date?", I squinted suspiciously,
"I mean, yeah", he confirmed,
"Why?"
Making him laugh to himself.
"Why not?", he questioned after calming down,
"I mean, you're cute and sweet and...you gave me the answers to the math quiz last week", he added,
As I scoffed.
"So, this is a pity ask?", I challenged.
His eyes go wide in shock.
"No no no no no, this isn't...I didn't mean to make it seem that way, I was kidding-", he rambled nervously,
Before I cut him off with a laugh.
"I'm messing with you, Macher. I know what you meant", I reassured,
Watching him sigh in relief.
"You have a twisted sense of humor"
"Oh, you don't know the half of it"
He laughs and takes my hand.
"So...whatta ya say?"
I rip my hand away, standing up.
"I need to go", I rushed,
Taking my backpack and practically sprinting out of the cafeteria.
"(Y/N)!", Tatum called out,
Going to follow me, when Stu stops her.
"I'll go"
"Stu-"
"I have to do this", he tells Billy,
Before chasing after me. I made it down the hallway, about to reach the front doors, when I hear him.
"(Y/N)!", he yells,
Causing me to stop in my tracks. It was getting harder and harder to fight against the tears that were threatening to spill.
"Can we please talk?", he pleaded,
Whilst I turned to face him.
"What do you want?"
"I came to make sure you were ok-"
"No, Stu, what do you want? From me?", I emphasized.
His eyebrows knitting in confusion as a result.
"Look, I never got to say what I wanted to back then, but I'm saying it now. You fucking hurt me", I spit bitterly,
As the tears began to stream down my face.
"Okay? You break up with me like it was nothing and what? Expected me to just be fine?"
"(Y/N)-"
"No! You don't get to talk!", I yell.
He takes a step back and keeps his eyes on the ground.
"I thought you cared about me"
"I did"
"No, you didn't"
"I did-"
"You didn't! Someone who cares about me would never fucking do that!", I sobbed,
"I'm so sorry", he whispered,
As I shake my head, angrily wiping my tears away.
"I was a coward"
"Yeah, no shit"
"Please...just...hear me out", he begged,
"And if you still want nothing to do with me after what I have to say...I'll leave you alone"
Just wanting to get this over with, I give in and cross my arms.
"I know I hurt you and for that, I'm sorry", he mumbles,
"But there's something I never told you. The reason why I did what I did"
What could he possibly say to change my mind?
"I loved you", he admitted.
It felt like my heart stopped. He'd never said those words to me before, so to hear them in past tense only added insult to injury.
"I never thought I'd feel that way about someone, so when I did, it scared the hell outta me. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I knew how to. I ran", he added,
Had I known, I wouldn't have felt so blindsided.
"Why didn't you say anything?", I sniffled,
"What was I supposed to say? That I was afraid to love you?"
"Yes! God, it would've been better than just leaving me out to dry! Stu, I loved you too! We could've talked about it, we could've done something!"
My voice echoed through the hallways.
"You loved me?", his words coming out as a surprised mutter,
"So fucking much", I answered.
Just then, Tatum, Sidney, Billy and Randy came around the corner. I could see Tatum trying to make her way to me and Billy blocking her from doing so.
"And seeing you again just...reopened all those old wounds"
"(Y/N)", he says,
Cupping my face.
As hard as it was for me to admit, him holding me like this made my heart skip a beat.
"I can't change what happened...but what I can do is this"
He leans in and presses his lips against mine.
The world disappeared around us and time came to a screeching halt. Was this all just a dream? Was I gonna wake up in my bed, disappointed that none of this ever happened? Or had the weight of carrying this pain around finally crush me? I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around what was happening, much less answer all the questions I had.
He eventually pulls away and those baby blues eyes poured into mine with a new found need.
"I let you go once...I can't do that again", he whispers.
#stu macher#scream#stu macher x reader#stu macher oneshot#stu macher fanfic#stu macher fluff#stu macher angst#stu macher smut#matthew lillard
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Third Time's the Charm; Bela Dimitrescu (Resident Lover)
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Requested? ☑
"What a shame she's fucked in the head, they said."
Summary: Bela places her trust in the wrong iteration. A dual POV on the Neutral Ending to Bela's route
Warnings: Angst, Miranda being an obsessed control freak
Genre: Angst
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"You should've stayed well away, Bela."
A few days ago that voice would've made her blood turn cold upon hearing it. A few days ago she'd be stuck in place. A few years ago she'd have shut down at being spoken to by that woman.
Bela whips around with anger in her eyes and tension in her shoulders, her knuckles begging to be planted on the older woman's cheekbones- Over and over and over and over- But she composes herself before committing to assault.
"It would only further convince MC that I'm not alright." she tells herself. Bela breathes, and tries to speak with a levelled voice. She soon finds out that there is no one who has unwavering control over their tempers.
"You know what you've done, and eben though you refuse to tell me- I know you know what I'll try to do from here on out. You know that nothing can stop me as long as I'm on my own feet Miranda. Sooner rather than later, I'm going to find out exactly why I know most of what has happened before it happened before I was supposed to know. Once I'm free of you, I'll find my heart, take my life back, take whatever else it is that you took from me, and I will have all of the answers before I start a life that your cursed claws will never dig into. "
The Eldest Dimitrescu swears she sees something in Miranda's eyes for a second, fear? Astonishment? Surprise? Anger? She cannot place it and yet whatever it was, it gave her the resolve that was needed to mend her shattered strength. Bela stands tall, squaring her shoulders and meeting Miranda's guarded gaze with her eyes unblinking.
"I will not let you cage me like one of your pets. I'm not reinforcing your spell, and I'm not going to be dancing around your plans anymore- I will tear them down myself with my bare hands if I have to do so."
The barest hint of a smirk grazes and upturns Miranda's lips, her eyes showing glee- As if she's somehow won when everything has just begun. Bela scowls, she opens her mouth to throw questions at the older woman when she's beat by the Headmistress to what she wants to say.
The light jiggle of her apartment's door handle catches her attention, and she now knows that Miranda didn't come here to taunt her or question her:
Miranda's here to gloat. Bela knows only of one person would be batshit crazy enough to think to ask the Headmistress for help.
"I'm afraid I am not the one to cage you this time around, Flightless Bird." Miranda speaks with victory in her voice, like she's barely holding back a laugh. Bela chooses to ask the priestess about what her riddled sentence means when a faint screeching sound makes it way to her ears. Horror fills her eyes when she realizes-
Sirens.
Unrelenting sirens.
"What did you do?" She demands to be told. Miranda only schools her features before turning her back on her student.
"What did you do!?" She screams, aiming the glass in her hands towards Miranda's direction. She finds that she must be more disoriented than she thought as she sees the professor catch the glass like it was nothing before her hand glows dimly and the glass buckles and breaks in her grasp.
The Sirens grow louder and Bela's eyes follow the shards that Miranda drops to the floor. Her stomach sinks when she sees some of the shards stained with red, younger blues following the source of the red droplets.
The skin on Miranda's palm stays open.
The sirens grow louder and Bela notices the phone in her other hand too late.
Bela raises her voice again, demanding and desperate, so close to letting the tears fall- Yet all Miranda does is turn her back to the younger blonde with no interest in the conversation. The Headmistress reaches for the door and Bela lurches forward, rushing with the desperation to have her question answered when her missteps and her shoe slips on a fallen shard. She hits the ground before she knows exactly what has happened and she's about to pull herself up when a softer set of steps enter the apartment. Familiar shoes stop at the threshold, and Bela can't bring her eyes to look up- Look at the face of someone she trusted.
She never registers how the blaring sirens are now just outside her apartment's window.
Bela's mind is oddly calm for a moment that feels like an eternity while she tries to pull herself together to meet your gaze. Her time is cut short when two other pairs of shoes suddenly appear in the doorway and suddenly Bela is looking up- Screaming.
The woman you have grown to trust scrambles back, her eyes fleeting between the two responders who waste no time in taking her arms. She fights against them, screaming and kicking and swinging as best as she can with both her arms taken hold of- There is a part of you that holds unwavering respect for her still. She fights and fights and fights. Bela's resolve remains stubborn and unbroken to the very end regardless of her mind's state.
One of the responders jam a needle into the side of her neck and at the same time something inside of you withdraws, like a child curling up in a corner with its hands on its ears. It feels wrong to see Bela be subdued, she's meant to stand tall- Stand proud- To strike down any and all obstacles that dare to stand in the way between her and her goal.
The hazy image of a statue of a knight bleeds into your brain-
You scrunch your eyebrows and before you can even begin to wonder what that was- It is gone and all you can do is meet Bela's eyes from across the room. She hangs limp in the respondents' arms yet somehow she's still awake, with the distance between you and the three of them you are surprised when you hear her whispered words with perfect clarity as if she was in your arms instead of theirs.
In your arms- Bela's laying in the courtyard outside The Headmistress' office building in your arms and you're screaming for help.
"I'm not insane. Please believe me."
Your head spins and your stomach is in knots. You open your mouth, and nothing comes out. The responders drag her off, and Bela's eyes never leaves yours-
She's angry, desperate, begging- And it feels so wrong. Bela's not supposed to be this unkempt, she's not supposed to be dragged off.
Bela's supposed to wake up in her room in her family's mansion with you waiting by her bedside-
"Please! Let me go, I'm not insane!"
You're shaken out of your daze, and the last thing you see of Bela is her eyes. Her gaze is boring into yours as she wordlessly pleads, fighting against the call of sleep with all the fading strength she can muster while they secure her in a straightjacket before the ambulance door is harshly shut.
A hand finds its on your shoulder and as gentle as the motion is- The touch is sickening nonetheless. Your body wants to recoil and throw the hand off, yet you're reduced to nothing but a motionless body with your feet glued to the pavement and your hands feeling like lead.
Headmistress Miranda's voice is low and apologetic while she offers you something. You don't know what she offered but your stomach lurches after she has voiced the proposition and all you can bring yourself to say is that you do not know.
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Bela counts. Lying on her back as she stares at the wrist watch that her mother had sent her as a gift a long time ago. "Get well soon." she imagined was the sentiment. Alcina remembered that she likes to keep track of time, or so she chooses to believe. Why else would her mother send her this?
23:50
It's funny how in all her years she had neber once bothered to memorize which 12 hour time equates to the other twelve hours on a 24 hour format. She shakes her head after the chuckle falls out of her lips.
"Whoever thought that a Grippy Sock vacation would manage to be educational.." she says to herself.
The smile falls from her lips as an annoying sensation crawls up her skin. She shuffles in her place, having learnt months ago that she cannot even undo a single clasp on her uniform without the assistance of a staff in the institution.
She presses her elbow against a spot on her rib, wiggling in irritation until the itch dissipates. She sighs in relief before retuning to her original position, letting her thoughts wonder to you.
Did you take her spot on the council? God, Bela hopes not. Yet she believes that you'd do an amazing job if you did decide to take over for her.
Have you graduated already? She hopes so as she thinks to herself that the sooner you're out of that hell hole, the better it is for you.
23:58
Bela hopes that Miranda has somehow poked her own eye with those gaudy finger guards that she wears. She also hopes with extreme pettiness that Cornelius has not gone a day without running into a window.
She wonders if Anteros is doing okay, he's with Daniela now but she wonders if he misses her. She sure has missed the dog she raised from puppyhood.
23:59
Bela turn to her side, hoping that you're okay. She still doesn't have her heart, but she finds it in herself to hold onto hope that she'll be out of this dreadfully decorated institution soon.
Bela spares another glance at her watch-
The time is still 23:59.
She hopes that someday when she's free you'll run into each other. She ignores the part of her that speaks of how Miranda probably intends to keep her here forever.
Bela closes her eyes and prays to whatever will listen that you and her family are okay. She slips from consciousness, remembering that you never got to meet Anteros when everything was still as okay as they could be.
Bela dreams of you with her and Anteros in the local dog part, Daniela and Cassandra tossing a frisbee between them as the German Shepherd trues to snatch it out of the air again and again.
05:30
Bela wakes up to a blaring alarm, her body clock tells her that something's up. She opens her eyes, and to her surprise- It is sunlight that greets her and not white padded walls.
Tears burn her eyes and a laugh escapes her as she glances at the calendar on her dresser.
"Club Fair day."
She takes a moment to breathe, to sit and remember how it felt to simply be in her own bed.
Bela jumps off the bed, running over to her ckoset drawer with newfound hope burning in her veins and in her chest. She smiles excitedly, she really wasn't insane at all.
"Third times' the charm." She says to herself as she leaves the apartment with a bright smile on her face and a liveliness in her step. She barely remembers to tone it down before getting inside the Campus grounds.
Miranda has eyes everywhere and she's supposed to be heartless. Bela schools her expressions and walks in with her head held high.
"Time for a new game plan."
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You trip over your own feel, reaching out a hand only to end up taking the whole tablecloth down with you.
The Goddess stares at you with mild disgust, but she quickly reaches a hand out towards you.
"Are you alright?"
"I just fell for you."
Your cheeks burn with embarrassment as you realize that you've said that out loud. The Goddess raises an eyebrow at you, and you thank your lucky stars that she decides to let your throwaway comment slide.
"We're the Student Council Club. Would you like to join?"
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01-11 thinks that someday, a non-angsty Bela Dimitrescu work will find a place in the Masterlist. For now, 01-11 is having too much fun.
P.S: 01-11 thanks you for reading.
#Resident Lover#resident lover miranda#resident lover bela#Resident lover mc#resident lover bela dimitrescu#Resident Lover mother miranda#Resident Lover Bela Dimitrescu x Reader#Resident Lover Bela Dimitrescu x MC#Bela Dimitrescu x reader#bela dimitrescu x mc#bela dimitrescu#Mother miranda#reader!insert
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Luxor Amata for Scarlett's love is embarrassing BC
Guess who is back (in an alternate timeline)? I totally forgot about the existence of bachelor challenges when I was playing with Luxor for the lust generation of my legacy, until he was old and already fully committed to his wife. I think doing a bachelor challenge with Luxor would have been really fun, but doing one myself with him now, even in an alternate timeline, wouldn't make sense for me since Luxor has already established his story and lore in my sims universe. So, when I saw @theosconfessions post for Scarlett's Love is Embarrassing BC I got this idea where Luxor can still participate in a BC in some way and let others have fun with him. I thought, what if I make an updated version of Luxor set in an alternate timeline where he hasn't met the love of his life yet and so it's entirely possible that he ends up with Scarlett? So, I gave Luxor a makeover and pitched this idea to Stacey (theosconfessions) and luckily she liked it!
Info about Luxor under the cut:
"Blondes have more fun, right?" That is what Luxor heard some of his co-stars say on the set of the upcoming series where he plays a role in. When he asked what they were talking about, they showed him Scarlett's bachelorette challenge call. Luxor's heart skipped a beat and suddenly it felt like his brain wasn't getting enough oxygen anymore. For a while now, Luxor really wants to find someone to grow old with and thinks that Scarlett might be the one. Luxor has had his fair share of official (and unofficial) relationships in the past and it's safe to say that this heartthrob already has a lot of experience in the dating field. One might attribute his need for love and affection to his childhood, in which his single mother, who tried to keep her head above water as a criminal, was often angry at him and didn't give him much attention until he was a little older. But don't get me wrong, Luxor is 100% capable of being fully committed when he finds the right person. He is charismatic, has a good heart and doesn't actually want to cause anyone heartbreak. Although his noncommittal trait caused him sometimes to suddenly jump from one relationship into the other or have multiple at once (and this 'multiple at once' can also be applied to a couple of in the bedroom activities he has had), he feels that it is finally time to settle down and find someone to build a future with. Luxor is currently a B-lister celebrity with a love for stand-up comedy and playing the guitar. He is romantically more interested in women but open to explore romantically, and has had woohoo experience with both men and women. His PR agency told him that it would be better for his public celebrity image to keep that last one under wraps for now. The life in the spotlight can sometimes be a bit hectic, and Luxor hopes that he can find in Scarlett someone to come home to, cuddle on the couch with, tell his new jokes to, go on dates with, play guitar for, have romantic dinners with, go on advetures with, visit the petting zoo with (he absolutely loves the little goats), make memories with, and to show him if it's true when they say that blondes have more fun (whatever fun for them may mean *wink wink*). And what better place to meet Scarlett than one of Luxor's favorite vacation locations, Tartosa!
Pronouns: He/him
Age: He's already nearing the end of his young adult years, but Luxor never minded an age gap in relationships and hopes Scarlett feels the same about it
Sexuality: Bisexual (currently closeted for the public image, but close friends and family know)
Traits: Noncommittal, outgoing, music lover (Luxor originally had the romantic trait here, but it's changed to music lover to make it more fair regarding the other contestants)
Career: Actor
Hometown: Del Sol Valley
I hope you like him! Can't wait to see how the drama, ✨the spice✨, and everything else unfolds in Scarlett's bachelorette challenge.
#he now looks so much more like what I had always imagined him to look like#I just didn't have the cas skills that I have now to make him look this good when I was playing his generation#love is embarrassing bc#luxor amata#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4#the sims#simblr#ts4 bachelorette challenge#ts4 bc#sims 4 bc#7sl extras#vaniepost
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Spoilers of the White Rabbit Festival event
Yuu is a girl here.
After winning the Rabbit Race in the maze, the "Black Rabbit" gang finally understands who Deuce is.
The leader of the offenders intervening and interrupting the fight between the NRC students and the Black Rabbit gang very loudly declares
-Wait!!He is the legendary offender of Cloke Town, "Cauldron Deuce"!!
The Black Rabbit guys stop like ridiculous statues stare stupidly at the speaker
-Uh!? Seriously?!Is this an exemplary guy??
Turning pale at the speed of light, Deuce almost holds on so as not to shush the gang, so that he is not revealed so loudly. Will all his efforts to correct the past go to ruin?! It can't be that for so long he has not changed at all and he was recognized again!
-Gh…!?
Puzzled, looking at each other, Ortho and Epel fix their gaze on Deuce, petrified with tension
-Legendary… criminal…?
Practically interrupting each other, the guys from the Black Rabbit seemed to have deliberately decided to recall every rumor that remained in their heads from the moment they heard it.
-Is this the same "Cauldron Deuce" who single-handedly defeated as many as five teams of criminals!?
-Come on!! "Cauldron Deuce, who dealt with 100 armed guys, completely unarmed!?
-"Cauldron Deuce", which even all the police in the city could not compare with!?
-Wow… he's like a legend. - Grimm grinned, and stared at Deuce with a grin. Yuu had to shush him softly and show with a gesture that this is not the moment where you need to tease or laugh at Spade.
Maybe Grimm was a walking problem, but he still obeyed Yuu from time to time.
Biting her lips from all the absurdity of the situation, Yuu cautiously looked at Deuce and Deela.
To stir up the past, and even more so those moments that are carefully trying to fix or forget, could greatly harm both of them.
In particular, as luck would have it, Yuu clearly remembered how Deuce made every effort, worked hard and tried to correct the actions committed in the past.
An undiluted mixture of anger, embarrassment and awkwardness captured Deuce's cheeks for rent, painting them red
-These rumors are out of control! I've never done anything like this!! - not knowing what to be more puzzled by the fact that he was discovered so quickly because of the cauldron or behavior, or because of the absurdity of every rumor said, Deuce had to stop these stories.
***
A little after.
-Hey…Deuce, how are you feeling?
Holding out a bottle of water, Yuu anxiously looked at a slightly drooping, exhausted Deuce sitting on the bench and catching his breath after the race.
-Huh? Huh….thank you Yuu … - gratefully taking a bottle of water and greedily sipping a few sips, Deuce tiredly massaged his forehead with his fingertips, throwing his winning glasses sideways.
-I'm sorry..I..I didn't think my past would haunt me so fiercely.. - Deuce muttered softly.
-You don't need to apologize to me, Deuce, thanks to you, I learned a little more about this unfamiliar and alien world for me. And I had fun. - Slowly sitting down next to Spade, Yuu stretched out her legs to ease the tension in her muscles a little after the whole day of walking.
After waiting a couple of moments, Yuu gently pressed her cheek against Deuce's shoulder, a small gesture meaning that you don't always have to be made of steel and effort.
With a bitter smile, Deuce accepted Yuu's mute offer to sit and "talk heart to heart"
-Learning about the world from a person like me is not the best idea, I don't really know anything myself. Neither about his hometown, nor about the people living in it… nor about himself.
-Oh, don't be modest. There is a lot to learn or see in the world. You've discovered a new side of yourself on this trip, haven't you? Mr. Beginner-Guide Rabbit~
Smiling softly, Yuu carefully adjusted Deuce's glasses, which were threatening to fall.
-N-new side?Oh….- quickly understanding the hint, Deuce seemed to brighten up a little in his dark confused thoughts.
-Oh. you're right. Until that moment, I had never even thought about learning about something from my hometown. I didn't tell my friends about any traditions or events…Although my mistakes of the past self still haunt me to this day.
-You speak as if no one in the world has ever stepped on a rake and made no mistakes. Everyone has their own ways and everyone has to cope with the past in their own way. Don't worry your head about what you didn't do in the past, think about what you should do now. - Maybe Yuu was laconic in a big company, but still her words had more weight than anyone else.
Seriously listening to the words of his college friend, Deuce fixed his gaze on his mom out of the corner of his eye.
His dorm leader, whom Spade matched in his studies and discipline, also made mistakes in the past, but tried to improve. Somewhere to be softer to someone, somewhere to give the right textbook. Listen to different opinions and evaluate them from your point of view.
Maybe Deuce is not so smart, but he sees real examples that are easier for him to understand than complex formulas from textbooks.
-I want to make my mom happy..to repay her for all her efforts and tears because of me. What do you say?
-I think this is a great start, Deuce. - Rubbing her cheek against her shoulder, Yuu exhaled with relief. It was as if they had lifted this huge burden off his shoulders together. Let it torment his thoughts and heart from time to time, but now Deuce knows what he needs to do and where to go.
-Thanks Yuu…..I hate to admit it, but I started projecting your behavior onto my mom.…
-What do you mean? - Yuu asked, confused, immediately glancing at the Grimm who was chasing some kind of butterfly next to the flower beds.
-Well… you know… this trait of yours where you ask about the well-being of others first of all than about your own, and care. Or when you grumble at me or Ace when we overdo it and get injured in training. Or how you look after a Grimm or..
-Okay, okay, okay, I get it. You don't have to go on. feeling embarrassed and her face starting to burn from the sudden revelation, Yuu hurried to cover her face with her palm so that Deuce would not tease her.
-Huh… I think Mom will often persuade me to come with friends again.
-Are there any other festivals?
-Probably… not as big as the White Rabbit Festival, but also interesting. For example, playing on kettles or eating carrots.
-If the Grimm takes part in the latter, his coat will turn from gray to orange..
After exchanging glances with each other, Deuce and Yuu burst into cheerful laughter after imagining their friend with red hair and completely full of carrots.
***
When it was time to return, Yuu sat down on one knee, stopped Grimm and motioned for him to approach Dilla. Carefully whispering so that her ward could hear. This attracted the attention of Ortho and Epel, who were walking a couple of steps ahead of them.
-We need to express our gratitude to Miss Dilla, let's go and say thank you before we leave.
-Is it necessary?
-Yes, Grimm, you should always be grateful for the hospitality and cordiality. So that there are good impressions and we can be invited perhaps again.
-And next time I can have the whole portion of potatoes in a uniform? - Grimm immediately set the conditions, already anticipating the taste of a huge portion of food.
-Grimm, I said "maybe", not for "sure". - Yuu laughed softly, gently stroking Grimm's head. As always the eternal hungry guy.
-Fiiiiineeee~ - Grimm snorted discontentedly, immediately following Yuu with his tail. Ortho and Epel immediately looked at each other very frowningly and immediately followed them.
Approaching the unsuspecting Dilla, Yuu and Grimm bowed low to Mrs. Spade. They both don't have much, but they are smart enough to say thank you every time they are invited and treated well.
Although sometimes there are exceptions and Grimm can swear by all the tuna that Yuu silently swears at Crowley for a very long time every time he gets them both into trouble.
-Thank you so much for looking after us, and for your hospitality, Miss Dilla.
-And for treating us to food! Grimm added more quietly, still remembering the taste of branded donuts in glaze. Maybe he can persuade his henchman to make them in the dorm? The main thing is not to open the windows, otherwise one very hungry hyena will come running to the smell.
Once it was enough that his dinner was stolen, more fights for food with this scoundrel Grimm is not eager.
Completely discouraged and confused, Mrs. Spade clearly did not expect such a gesture from Deuce's friends to herself. She's definitely not used to this.
-Oh, it's not worth it. You're Deuce's friends..
Awkwardly interrupting and standing next to the students of the Onboro, Ortho and Epel very abruptly joined the moment of gratitude.
-And thank you for helping me pick up a souvenir for the leader of the dorm! - added Epel, without Mrs. Spade, he would definitely have spent a lot of time choosing the right option for a famous model.
-I had a lot of fun going to this festival, thank you! Orto joined in fervently, having already noticed that the folder with various data about this trip with friends exceeded his expected memory capacity of 20 GB. How impatient he was to tell and show all the photos of Idia!
-And I also express my heartfelt gratitude to you for your hospitality and kindness. - Silver joined in more elegantly and with the grace of a fairy tale prince.
Deuce realized with some delay that he had not had time to join the moment of "farewell and gratitude", and was trying to think of something to say to his mother before he went back to college.
-Oh, you are such polite and lovely children! I was very happy to meet Deuce's friends from college, be sure to come next year! - feeling elated, Dila could not believe that they would not forget about manners even when they were energetic teenagers.
-Do you want us to hand out brochures again and help you with your work? - Yuu asked with a certain amount of mischief, because of the words of which she immediately received all the views of her friends on herself.
Diilla just laughed merrily. She liked these cute naughty teens.
-Ahaha! I think I've been found out!
***
Yuu pulls Deuce's sleeve so that he leans closer so she can whisper something "personal" in his ear.
"As soon as everyone leaves, give her a hug, I'm sure your mom misses you a lot from time to time."
Feeling very embarrassed by the offer itself, Deuce looked around to make sure that apart from the two of them, there were no friends left who had not teleported back to college.
Spade has already received a portion of shame for years to come, would not like to add a canister of gasoline to this fire that has not yet gone out.
Being no longer a small child easily expressing his love and affection through hugs, Deuce thought that it would be a little childish, though.
But…
When was the last time he just hugged his mother and said thank you?
Oh, how much more he had to return and correct because of his rebellious period…
-It's a good idea Yuu..Just don't tell anyone about it.
At the last second, turning around, Yuu was able to see a very touching picture.
The way Deuce awkwardly and tightly hugs Dilla, blushing embarrassedly to the top of her head, and the tenderness on Dilla's face accepts this moment and tries to remember it.
Her boy, her son, who loved to dress up as a rabbit as a child, is now trying so hard to become a good person for her.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst wonderland#twst yuu#disney twst#twst mc#twst spoilers#twsited wonderland#twst deuce#deuce spade#twst white rabbit festival#it's funny that I've had a script for Ace in the drafts for a long time#but I finished it first about Deuce.
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Dear Nex,
You're never going to see this. I know. I felt the need to write this for you anyway.
Maybe my input isn't needed because I'm cis, but I hope you and everyone else who sees this knows in spite of my gender identity and the privilege I have as a cis male that I'm aware that I have, I mean every word that I say. I never wanted to be privileged. I don't want to be privileged. I'm so incredibly sorry that I'm privileged. I know it's not right. I know it's not fair. If my input isn't needed, so be it. But I'm going to share it anyway.
My sorrow and rage and pain has not at all subsided since February 20, when I learned of your death. You've been in the back of my mind ever since. The grief and anger hasn't gone away. What your friends said about you and your family as well, shows that you were such a wonderful person. I wonder if you had social media. I would've loved to be your friend if you had Tumblr.
I find myself enjoying sunny weather and thinking "Nex would've liked this". I look at my friends' pet cats and think about Zeus. When listening to rock I wonder if you liked the song I listen to.
You were mistreated by your peers in life, because of your laugh, which I'm sure was wonderful, and the way you dressed. Being yourself cost you your life. And now even in death people refuse to respect you. Transphobes running rampant, calling you your deadname, someone here on Tumblr celebrating your death, labeled as filth. And now? Now your cause of death has been labeled as suicide. Even though absolutely none of it makes sense, and nothing adds up. It just doesn't make sense. And even if somehow you did commit suicide, the day before you did you were physically assaulted by your peers for getting fed up with being mocked. You were bullied before that too. Bullied relentlessly and mercilessly just for being you. The blood is still on their hands.
I'm utterly disgusted by the medical examiner, the state of Oklahoma, the transphobes, even myself sometimes for being so privileged because of my gender identity. I shouldn't be privileged for being cis. We should all be accepted and treated fairly and with care and love and respect. If only things were that ideal..
I'm crying now even as I write this. I so desperately wish that everything was different. That you weren't killed. That you could continue to hang out with your friends and be a kid. Making new recipes. Playing with Zeus. Playing your favorite songs. Making music, if you liked doing that.
Recently my faith and belief in God has been tested. But if there's an afterlife, a Heaven up there, I hope you're having fun and enjoying yourself up there. When I die and reach Heaven, I'll be sure to visit you.
On the other hand, if there's not a Heaven, I hope you're enjoying your eternal rest. Whatever being dead is like without an afterlife, I hope you're ok.
But until then I'm going to try my damndest to ensure your memory stays alive. Posting about you on social media and reblogging posts about you like wildfire so people never forget. I'm not going to let anyone forget you, Nex. I promise you. Me and all of the other people grieving here on Tumblr will continue to say your name, whether our shouts fall on deaf ears or not. We're never going to be silenced.
I raise my cup to you, Nex. You will be avenged. Justice will be served.
I didn't know you and I never will. You never knew me and you never will. But all the same, even if we're eternally strangers, I love you, Nex Benedict. I'm sorry the school failed you, I'm sorry the ambulance failed you, I'm sorry Oklahoma failed you, I'm sorry the world failed you. And perhaps I failed you somehow. And I'm so unbelievably sorry if I did. But I hope keeping your memory alive, and saying your name, and seeking justice can make up for it.
Until we're angels in Heaven once more.
Love, truly,
Finley
#queued#nex benedict#say his name#justice for nex benedict#rip nex benedict#tw transphobes#tw transphobia#cw transphobes#cw sui mention#cw death#tw death#transgender#trans lives matter#the trevor project#keep trans people safe#trans lives are human lives#trans lives are valid#protect trans kids#protect trans lives#protect trans youth#protect trans rights#protect nonbinary kids#protect trans men
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The thing about the big scary cishet aroallos people seem to be so afraid of these days is that I met many of the sort of person they imagine when they talk about this (which usually isn't someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction but rather just a cishet man with 0 care for other human lives) and trust me most of them would NOT identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community. With the stereotypes and societal narratives we're taught it's easy to imagine an aroallo cishet man as some guy who doesn't want to commit and just uses women for sex, which is ironic because in the same breath these types of exclusionists usually criticize aces because they believe we all think allos are sex-obsessed or whatever. Like just because that guy is cishet and allo doesn't mean he wants to have sex 24/7. Maybe he just wants to exist as a single person without getting shit for it or being constantly told to settle down and have a relationship. Like I imagine what it would be like to be a cishet aroallo man and honestly what reason would I have to look at a community that constantly shits on me and seems to hate me and that the other cishet men around me probably try to teach me to hate and go "I'm aromantic and I want to be part of this space" if they didn't struggle with alienation from their peers and the societal expectations placed on them? That's honestly such a big thing with exclusionists because I look at the bullshit that aces, aros, trans people, bi people etc. get from both the LGBTQ+ community and the cishets and ask myself "if I really fit in with the allocishet experience, WHY WOULD I CHOOSE THIS INSTEAD?"
I have to agree with you here. Sure, there's definetly cishet alloaro men out there who are just fuckboys who use women for sex, in any group there will be people who fit the negative stereotypes and that's not a reason to point at them and go "see? They ARE like that!" There is a difference between cishet allosexual men who don't see women as people but rather as sex toys and cishet allosexual men who are aromantic. Being sexually attracted to women without wanting anything romantic is not the problem, it's a neutral thing. The problem is when you don't view women as human beings and the men who are like that would usually see the word 'aromantic' and think it's just some woke sjw bullshit or a mental disorder. I think it's really unfair towards aromantic people as a whole because we're constantly telling people that our lack of romantic attraction does not make us bad people. Is it okay to see aromanticism as an indicator of bad morals all of a sudden just cause the person in question is a cishet man? No. Even if the man is actually a bad person. Because if there are exceptions to the rule then where do we draw the line? If the same thing is gonna be directed at aromantic trans lesbians, something I can see happening, will that also be okay because we're so scared of someone with a penis being sexually attracted to women?
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chapter 138 thoughts
ruby's honkshoosnorkmimimi pajamas are back fuck 137 this is REAL cinema
All joking aside, there's a lot less to talk about in (MOST) of this chapter, though that's obviously by design. This is a cool down chapter (FOR THE MOST PART) to give us (SOME) breathing room in the aftermath of the RBKN fight and while it's not totally devoid of substance, it is for the most part just a good time spent with some members of the cast who haven't gotten as much focus lately and it does what it sets out to do pretty well, aside from some minor gripes here and there. I won't lie, I smiled a ton while reading this one even if I don't have so much as half as much to say about it as I did 137.
That said, my first gripe off the bat is the biggest one which is, once again, the total lack of reaction from Aqua to… literally anything that just happened. 135 didn't really go that deep into his feelings and despite 136 very deliberately highlighting Aqua's presence during the filming of that pivotal scene and even focusing on his stunned reaction to Ruby's adlib, he is jarringly absent from 137 and the return to Aqua focus here (even if we are still being excluded from his POV) feels all the more sudden and strange for not patching that back up. I've already said a ton about what I think of Aqua being written this way recently so I'll just reiterate that if this is an intentional choice, I still really don't like it.
Moving onto things I did enjoy about this chapter: basically everything else! For some reason that panel of Taiki outside Aqua's place in his car absolutely fucking killed me, if nobody makes an edit of him saying GET IN LOSER WE'RE GOING SHOPPING i'm gonna have to do it myself. frill's lil sippy drink too. god bless.
Taiki and Frill are honestly kind of he MVPs of this chapter. Their banter is fun and Frill is, as usual, an unparalleled delight. Her inviting Memcho along and casually admitting it's because Mem is her oshi……. Frill is the most powerful Oshi no Ko character because she can effortlessly flirt with girls AND boys. Bisexual women truly are stronger than God.
himekawa crashing his car is like the funniest thing that's ever happened in this manga imagine being the wettest funniest most pathetic little failboy in a manga where aqua hoshino is the lead character
mem continuing to be the last person to realize she's in the manga she's in was also really good. the psychological toll of being the only normal person in oshi no ko
The talk that the gang has when Mem finally starts putting two and two together is basically my other only gripe about this chapter, though I do really like it in a lot of other ways. Mem's expression when she finally puts together just how young Kamiki would have been when Himekawa was conceived and what that means for both Kamiki and Airi was more excellent expression work from Mengo -- tbh she has been killing it on the character work in general these last few chapters.
This does, however, imply something very interesting about the movie which is that Kamiki's victimization at the hands of Airi may not be part of it. If it was in the script, this would not be new information to Mem the same way Himekawa and Aqua's relationship is but she seems genuinely sincerely aghast when she puts it together. This (AMONG OTHER THINGS) raises some really interesting questions as to exactly how Kamiki (or 'Boy A', as it seems) is being incorporated into the movie's story and how his relationship with Ai is going to be portrayed.
From here, this potentially recontexualizes Himekawa's lack of reaction to the script. He didn't learn this information through those means and in fact seems to have taken the role specifically because he already knew and because he feels some sense of responsibility or even just a desire to take on and purify the weight of the sins his parents committed. This does resolve my issue with how quickly Himekawa seems to adjust to this new information, because it turns out to not be new info… but it does end up just sort of coming back around to my original issue of Himekawa not being given the time or focus to process this.
Honestly… now that I think about it, it's kind of a lot worse?! Given what he shared of their (presumed) family history with Aqua in chapter 68, it's pretty clear he had no idea what Airi had actually done. Aqua himself only finds out the truth in chapter 98 so we can presume he shared this info with Himekawa at some point… just, you know, entirely offscreen with no indication this had happened or that they were still in regular contact and, once again, with no time or focus spent on Himekawa finding out and coming to terms with the idea of his mother being a child rapist. We've had almost 40 entire chapters since that point… are you really gonna tell me we had no time for that??
It's frustrating for a lot of reasons but mostly because it makes this conversation fall a little flatter than I think it COULD have if we had more time following Himekawa as he processed his feelings about it. Just one of those things I wish OnK would take more time to breathe with.
rip himecarwa we'll never forget you
ANYWAY. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE REAL STAR OF THIS CHAPTER. BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
i'm only mostly kidding here the explosion of kamiki thirstposting in the wake of this chapter was so funny we are all hoshino ai
Anyway, all joking aside, this was a really interesting conversation in terms of the implications it has for Kamiki's involvement in the movie. Off the bat, it addresses the issue that's been kind of the elephant in the room which is that you can't just… make movies about real people without their permission! This chapter explicitly clarifies that everyone involved in the movie gave their permission for it to happen (which explains some of the in-universe fictionalized elements; without permission to do certain things, the story has to be changed to accommodate it) but that the movie equivalent of Kamiki doesn't even have a name. Given that this is a movie intended to 'kill' Kamiki as revenge, it raises some shrimptresting question as to wtf the final product will even be
This also confirms Kamiki to be at least a step or two ahead of Aqua here; some folks were speculating that he had Nino as his spy on the production but given Kaburagi's presence here - and the fact that he most certainly seems to know more about Kamiki than he's letting on - it looks to me like my man already has people at the top feeding him information. Not only that but he's sponsoring the very movie supposedly set to destroy him? Very shrimptresting… I don't know that we'll find out what Kamiki's up to anytime soon but hearing more about his involvement was exciting anyway.
also just one final shout out for that final page of Kamiki. It feels like Mengo changed his design a bit so he's not so much of a flat out Aqua Clone and I do like said changes. my man hasn't slept a DAY since ai died.
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