#i desperately need to sleep. but happy accident <3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mamayan · 6 months

Note

Dear Yanny,

I am desperately humbly requesting a yandere Giyuu being yandere, very very yandere, with a relatively willing darling AFAB/fem reader and a side dish of bedroom spice.

I am in tears.

Sincerely, Desi <3

Let’s do a yandere profile then for Giyuu! I’ve been wanting to try out this format for a minute now.

☆Giyuu Tomioka★

YANDERE PROFILE || OPEN TEMPLATE!

cw: NSFW • Obsessive/Possessive Themes • Implied kidnapping/imprisonment • Yandere • AFAB! Darling

Type

Overprotective!

This yandere type is obsessive and possessive of their darling, but they believe that their actions are justified in the name of protecting their darling. This yandere type may infantilize or cross boundaries their darling lays down. They intentionally or unintentionally take away their darling’s independence.

Giyuu is constantly in a state of worry for you, he’s thinking of you at nearly every second of the day and when you don’t consume his every waking moment, you appear in his dreams. Did you sleep well? Have you eaten? Did you eat enough? Have you gotten sick? Was someone rude to you? What if you’re hurt?

This type of obsession leads to tailing/stalking/monitoring. He watches you at any and every moment he can, and when he can’t then someone he trusts is. Giyuu learns all your habits, likes and dislikes, fears and dreams, and will insert himself into your life. He doesn’t need to be loud or boisterous, in fact his calm demeanor and presence allow him to seamlessly blend into your world without raising any alarms.

This leads to possessiveness forming. His attachment deepens over time and a sort of ownership forms. It stems from his detailed knowledge of you and even your private life which you’ve never shared with him personally. He sees himself as someone who knows you completely, thus making him the most important character in your life.

He doesn’t understand why you’d spend time with anyone else but him. Those “friends” don’t know you hate that food, but they ignore your indirect ways of steering away from eating it. He knows you dislike it, and he’s happy to eat your favorite food with you, even if he doesn’t love it personally. He’s unafraid of stealing you away too, pretending nonchalantly to have been just passing through with a bag full of your most adored goodies, inviting you away from whatever situation you find yourself uncomfortable in.

Giyuu is a gentleman, even in his most unhinged state of watching you sleep at night in your home you were sure you locked up tightly before bed. He’s not going to be mean or hurtful, his yandere tendencies stem from lack of control in life and deep loss.

Breaking Point

Once “danger” threatens their darling.

Giyuu’s instability would worsen over time, not immediately. It would coincide with his feelings for you. The more he falls in love, the more he begins to stress about that love being taken away in some tragic accident. He’s lost his best friend and sister, how can he lose you too? He’s always being protected by those he cared about, shouldn’t he be the one to protect you then?

Giyuu would ponder and even be consumed by guilt once he realized how powerless he truly is to keep you completely safe. You had a life to live, how could he be so selfish as to tie you to him by a short chain and never let you go?

He won’t take action until a threat is posed… even if that threat is only within his own mind.

It could be a demon nearly harming you, a person that is mean towards you, or even you being clumsy and hurting yourself which could set this trigger off. The longer he waits, the more the line of danger becomes skewed. In the end, he’s giving in to his own paranoia. There’s no way to truly escape this break.

Lucidity

Giyuu is actually fairly aware of how wrong his feelings for you have become. What was once innocent and pure has become warped and twisted into something entirely off. He shouldn’t think of you 24/7 nor should he be keeping such a detailed account of your life. It’s completely wrong of him, illegal, invasive towards you, and he feels immense guilt for it.

At first.

At first, he’s consumed with anger and disgust towards himself. He’s one hundred percent lucid at this point and fighting back against his urges and desires. He loves you, how can he be thinking and doing these things?

As time goes on however, his fight with himself becomes a losing battle. He wants you, needs you, has to keep you close. It’s more than he can take really, and in the end, isn’t he pitiful? Won’t you stop struggling? He adores you, he truly only desires your happiness and safety…

In his arms, of course.

Perception of Darling

Complete adoration!

Giyuu is not the sort of man to worship his darling in a religious sense, because humans are flawed and he wouldn’t truly love you if he ignored your flaws right? He loves those too, so Giyuu falls under the category of adoration.

With complete adoration is how Giyuu views you, his beloved darling.

He struggles not to constantly pamper and even mildly infantilize you, though he doesn’t view you as incapable. It’s the opposite in fact, shouldn’t someone as capable and smart as you be spoiled more? He thinks so at least. He wants to take away all your worries and struggles, all of them, because he wants to keep you safe from more than just outside threats.

He wants to protect you from the ones inside too. He knows what depression and anxiety feel like, how they can destroy you from the inside out, and he doesn’t want you suffering from the same thing.

These feelings are pure but his actions can reflect something different.

In his quest to rid you of all troubles, he can unintentionally make himself a trouble, one which he can sadly not rid you of. His simple solutions may even complicate things, like telling you to quit your job and rely on him financially when you complain of a co-worker. He struggles to listen at times, in his desperation to keep you happy at all points in time, and this can be frustrating.

Whether you are screaming at him in rage, crying in fear, or trembling with anxiety… he still thinks there’s no one more adorable and lovely than you. It’s difficult for him to feel anything but love and patience for you, even if he’s the cause of your outbursts.

It’s not that he believes you can do no wrong, it’s just that he could simply care less. As long as you don’t harm yourself, or try harming him (though he understands that much more), then there’s really not much that would cause his perception to waver.

Love Language

Words of affirmation

Giyuu enjoys words of affirmation the most from you. He enjoys all other love languages too, but in a way he somewhat forces quality time (stalking or kidnapping), acts of service (you breathing), receiving gifts (your presence). Physical touch would be a close second, but Giyuu can actually go without it should you not like it.

It’s your words though he cannot receive without you willingly giving it to him.

What he wouldn’t pay or do to hear you tell him “I love you” or “I forgive you” because he does feel guilty taking you. The guilt just doesn’t outweigh his overprotective instincts which drove him to take you in the first place.

Tell him he’s wonderful, compliment his hair or eyes, or tell him you’re grateful for his presence in your life. All will make him melt, his heart softening into silken tofu by your sweet words.

He also loves your voice, so you speaking at all makes his heart flutter. When you decide to utter kind words with that voice?

He’s gone.

Ability/Danger Level

Giyuu is as dangerous as he is pretty. Not to you of course, but to any and all who may or may not pose a threat to you. This includes family and friends too. He’s not above harming or even killing for the sake of protecting you, though he’d never reveal his actions out of his own volition.

He likely will get blood on his hands, especially since it becomes easier to take people out without you noticing once he’s kidnapped you. How can he allow someone who has harmed you to continue living and breathing? Even if the damage was only psychological, he views it as a trespass against his own and it will be met with violence or some similar horror.

He really doesn’t feel any guilt either, though he does have a strong moral code, especially for children. But that weird man who tried sexually harassing you?

The world can go without that sort of scum.

Punishment

Light/Non-scarring

Giyuu is likely one of the most patient yanderes out there, but he’s not without some temper. The quickest way to find yourself over his lap with your ass in the air is to try escaping or harming yourself.

His punishments, even when he’s in the worst of moods, will never be anything terrible. The worst you can expect is isolation.

This will seem fine at first, even enjoyable if you truly wish to get away from him, but over time it will wear you down to a sort of fragility you wouldn’t expect. It’s horrible being alone, maddening to a point you may break down and beg. He’s not able to bear hearing it, so he’d either lift the punishment as you having learnt your lesson or hide away.

A lesser punishment he might use is spanking or privilege revoking. He might ban you from the garden or walks you enjoy or put you over his knee and make your poor bum burn for a little. He’d never hit you anywhere else though, and of course, never use anywhere near his full strength in spanking you. It’s honestly little taps to him, but you might disagree when it hurts to sit later.

Giyuu may even be inclined to deny you sexually/or an orgasm if you are sexually intimate.

Reward

Constantly

How can he not? He wants to spoil you rotten, so much you can’t even fathom living without him and all he provides.

Giyuu absolutely rewards you with freedoms as his darling too, and you’ll learn to truly appreciate them as time goes on in captivity. The more accepting and loving you are towards him, the more freely he takes you out and allows you to do things. He doesn’t think you incapable as a human, which means he doesn’t mind TV, books, or entertainment as long as you aren’t using them to escape.

He’s not stupid and proves rather difficult to manipulate. He may let you play your game to let his guard down, but know once you make a move he’s showing you how futile the act is.

He’s happy to spend money on you though, whatever you like too. He’s a simple man and doesn’t really spend much on himself besides the basics and necessity, so he’s actually happy he gets to use his money for something besides collecting interest. Let him decorate you, or get all the fancy tools for your hobby you’ve always wanted. It’s not hard to get him to “reward” you. In fact, it’s harder to make him stop.

Style

Kidnap!

Try as he might to resist it, he wants nothing more to chain you to his side. That’s not possible though, he’s got obligations to attend to, but he can lock you in a gilded cage.

Treatment

A delicate flower~♡

He’s actually a bit hard to read when you first meet him, but he melts like ice on a hot summer day in your presence. Others may complain about his personality, or lack thereof, but you wonder if they’re talking about the same Giyuu that you know.

He never shuts up? He’s always bringing you fresh bouquets, sweets and snacks, any and all items that catch his eye which he thinks you’ll like. He’s detailed and incredibly considerate, and this doesn’t change when you’re taken captive either.

Though he won’t allow you to leave him, he can still give you… space. Your own room if you request it, a little garden, your space, as long as it doesn’t involve straying too far from him.

He’s not controlling in a sense of depriving you of basic human abilities, like cooking or using tools. He knows you are capable of taking care of yourself, and he’s careful not to make you feel otherwise.

He really tries. It’s not always perfect though. When you’re cooperative and willing, he has an easier time letting go of the reigns, but when you aren’t? He’ll lock doors and drawers like one might with a small toddler, his mistrust will show through his actions.

Intimacy

Sexually attracted~

Giyuu’s feelings for you are pure in a sense, but he’s a man with wants and desires…that just happen to all be directed at you.

He craves to hold and caress you, and he’s a bit embarrassed to admit he’s done so while you’ve slept. Your defenseless sleeping expression invokes both envy and adoration. He wishes he slept like that and also wishes you’d never sleep any other way. It’s intimate to him, cradling your slumbering form in his arms, pliant and sweet for him to gaze at until the sun rises. His anxiety for you is quenched when he holds you like so, and he enjoys the peace it brings him emotionally.

If you reject his physical affection, Giyuu is surprisingly one of the few yandere types to respect that boundary.

Don’t be mistaken though, he’s not above manipulating your feelings if there is a chance you’re only rejecting him due to the circumstances you’re in. It’s understandable to be frightened in the beginning, he’s not pushy in asking for anything from you that you aren’t willing to give to him.

But he knows he’s an attractive man, and feels nothing walking shirtless before you, or training while you can see. He’s seductive in how he’ll speak to you, lowering his tone and softening it, making you lean in closer to hear him. That’s when you’ll smell him, a clean and masculine scent that will confuse your mind and body because how can someone evil smell so good?

It won’t be hard to succumb to his advances if you’ve been intimate before you’d been taken. He’s detailed, remember? Confident he knows you inside and out, and that includes your weak points. Where to whisper or breathe to make you melt, where to touch to have you gasping, and how to deep he needs to thrust to make you scream. He’s well aware of how much pressure and time he needs to spend between your legs, how to lick your drooling cunt to have you shake and spasm, where to curl his fingers to make you tear at his locks.

No, Giyuu would never force any sort of intimacy on you. He makes it terribly difficult not crave it in fact.

Freedom

Minimal to none—

While in his presence, feel free to ask for walks, dates, or shopping sprees. He’s fine with taking you out so long as you act normally too.

Otherwise expect nothing. No freedom. Your cage may be luxurious and beautiful but you will never leave it, not without his supervision. He won’t budge either, there’s no convincing him something is safe or acceptable. It’s one of the few times you will see him stern and unbending with you, nothing you do will make him cave.

Begging and pleading may even irritate him enough to punish you as well. Why do you want to leave so badly? Is he so terrible to you?

Habits

Sleep watching

Giyuu spends an abnormal amount of time watching you sleep, even at the expense of his own rest. This won’t ever actually affect you, as he never outright tells you he does this, but if you figure it out or wake up unexpectedly to catch him… it may make you nervous to fall asleep.

Sexual Kinks (for non-platonic yandere)

Marking/Praise/Edging&Overstimulation

Giyuu felt these urges mildly before he met you. He’s aware he likes being told how well he’s performing, holding off an orgasm for him or his partner, or making both himself and his partner a mess with overstimulation.

It’s so much worse now though. He can’t help how desperate he becomes with you, how needy and near feral it makes him to just think of filling your pretty pussy up with his cum. It’s sad almost how you turn him into such a pathetic man. He wants to brand himself on you, it wars with his need to never hurt you too, so he settles by sucking bruises into your skin and occasionally biting you. He’s vocal when you’re both intimate, he tells you how much he adores you, what he adores about you (everything), and how good you are for him. His precious pearl, his ocean and entire heart, he’s not the least bit ashamed as he grits his teeth and cries your name as he comes apart. Giyuu loves teasing you and himself too, working you both so close to the edge before stopping, leaving you both whiny and desperate for one another. He needs you to cling to him, to beg for more, to take it too.

His kinks aren’t one sided. He wants you to mark him up, in the way he wishes he could bring himself to do to you. So drag your nails across his skin, make him wear a collar of your bites and kisses around his neck, pull his hair and bruise him. Anyway you show ownership of him is welcomed, though the amount of dominance he’ll accept from you is dependent on your acceptance of your new life with him. He’s less inclined to release the reigns of control when you’re still adapting, cautious and fearful it may be a ruse to trick him and escape. He’ll relax eventually, and even begin to crave the times you tie him up and torment him like he does to you. Deny his poor aching cock again and again, make him beg for you and worship your sweet cunt as you ride his face, and then deny him again just because. He’d even accept if you just stopped there, leaving him painted red and panting, exhausted but not finished. He’d be entirely grateful if you took mercy too, rode his pretty thick cock until he became delirious and keep going even after he’s cum, moving your hips like a goddess on his lap while he pleads for rest and mercy. He can cum multiple times, but it borders on painful after the third, he won’t complain much though if you test his limits.

He’s happy to return the favor, but Giyuu’s favorite way to overstimulate you both is deep hard sex, holding your gaze as he fills you over and over, your pussy oozing his white hot load each time he pulls out to put you in a new position, before he plugs you right back up. Giyuu likes to cum pressed as firmly against your womb as he can, and he likes when you cum around his cock. It feels to most complete to him, and he cherishes the pleasured look on your face.

If it ever becomes too much, a quick way to make him finish is to praise him too. Tell him how good he makes you feel, how beautiful he is, how you like what he’s doing. His hips will always stutter in surprise, blue eyes widening as he gasps and tenses, cock twitching and threatening to spill just from your lovely voice complimenting him.

Boundaries

The front door—

How can he protect you if you run away? He draws a solid line at the doorway. You will not be crossing it without him or else.

Leniency

Strict

Unsurprisingly for an overprotective yandere, Giyuu is incredibly strict.

You’re health and safety are top priority for him, so from when you wake up to when you fall asleep, he’s got all of it tracked.

Your daily needs are monitored like your exact location in his home. He likes having eyes on you at all times. He won’t enforce specific meal plans, but he makes sure you are eating enough, you’re getting enough vitamins and nutrients, and doctor visits are regular. He even knows your menstrual cycle.

You will be asking him for any and all things, he keeps that under tight control. If you want to bake bread or grow a garden, it will all be done through his means.

Overall Rating

89/100

Giyuu Tomioka is an incredibly dangerous yandere!

While he poses minimal threat to you as his darling, he’s a risk to the outside world and your surroundings. He’s sure in his carnage in the name of protecting you, and he’s lucid about it too, which makes him quite threatening.

You’re chance of escape is little to none, and the punishment following it will surely make your teeth ache.

Snippet

“You’re trying to leave?” His tone is soft, no true indication of his mood to those unfamiliar with him.

You were familiar with him though, and his words made your blood run cold. You weren’t trying to leave, you had only wanted fresh air in fact, but the position you were in now made that difficult to believe even to your own eyes. Balanced on the flat surface of the kitchen counter, you were struggling to open the window due to the cold having frozen it outside. Once you had gotten it open, like an animal you’d stuck your head out immediately. It was an instinctive reaction in all honestly, you just wanted the cool air on your skin.

You should’ve gotten him to do it though, he would’ve, you knew, but you’d wanted to do it yourself. To have the little moment all to your own. A foolish goal in the end, as this was where it took you now. He’s not looking at you, just leaned against the entryway with his arms crossed and a cool expression painting his features, head tilted slightly down.

“I’m not!” It’s too quick a denial to absolve you of suspicion, especially as you scramble down with a face appearing impossibly guilty. “I just wanted to open the window,” you explain, but the nervous rise of your voice and the way you look frightened only make his eyes narrow a fraction. He doesn’t believe you. You need him to believe you, because your punishment for escape is always his silence. It’s damning to your senses that crave company and interaction, his patience greater than your own.

“My love, I swear, I really, truly wasn’t,” you stepped closer, heart rate picking up as anxiety tickled your senses. “I would never leave you,” you whisper, coming up to him even as he gazes down at you with eyes pooling with disbelief and suspicion.

He’s unable to resist pulling you into his arms though, wrapping you up close to him and appreciating your softness in his grasp. It helps as you wrap your arms around his neck, press yourself impossibly closer, and whimper in his ear. His grip increases a fraction, a shiver going down his spine while one hand slips further down to cup your ass and lift you.

His strength amazed you at times, and terrified you at others.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, whispering promises of never leaving his side and loving him forever against his lips before he silences you with a kiss. His soft lips warm and coaxing as he takes you out of the kitchen and towards your shared room in the house. His hold becomes a bit too harsh as you’re laid on the bed, his weight blanketing you. His eyes are darker than usual, deeper pools of blue you worry might drown you as he slips his hands beneath your skirt, calloused fingers running along the soft flesh of your thigh as he spreads them. A burning need deep in his gut to remind you where you belong.

“Who do you belong to?” It’s so light against your lips you nearly miss it.

Until he tears your underwear off, a yelp elicited from you at the sting on your flesh from where he tugged and tore them.

“You!”

He easily slips between your legs, fingers sliding through your folds, finding your puffy nub and applying pressure until you’re moaning.

“G-Giyuu…”

“That’s right. You belong to me, don’t you pearl? All mine,” he’s pressing into you, two fingers opening you up despite your entrance weeping for all of him. Still mostly clothed you grip his sleeves, whining because it’s not enough, his lips hushing you again. He swallows all the little noises you make, tongue invading and stealing your ability to think as he fucks you with his fingers. Each shlick of your pussy has you heating further, the lewd wet noises he elicits making your legs tremble around his waist.

He breaks the kiss, rubbing and stretching your gummy walls before curling his fingers and vigorously attacking your poor g-spot, his lips tugging into a smile as you shatter for him.

You’re left limp beneath him, the orgasm he tore from you too quickly made you dizzy as you pant and gather your mind again. Giyuu is already sliding the tip of his cock through your slick before you can recover, pressing forward once he’s lubricated enough to slip past the tight first ring of muscle into your warmth. His cock spreads you perfectly, opening you up and leaving you gasping for air due to the sensitive inner walls being stimulated further.

It’s desperate and messy how he fucks you, intertwining your fingers and pressing them beside your head, kissing and marking your neck up while repeating under his breath how you’re his.

“Mine too—!” Your airy cry has him sinking even deeper, a groan coming out at your own claiming of him.

“Giyuu—,” he wants nothing more than to brand your soul with himself.

“Yours,” he nods, looking into your eyes as he bullies his cock against your poor cervix, using his thighs to press you up further, almost in half while he fucks you.

“All yours,” he moans, burying his face in your neck while he stuffs you full, the room heating as you did, your core tightening around him while your body edges on the beginning of another orgasm.

He stops just before you can cum. His weight and warmth immediately leaving you as you cry out in denial. Your wide gaze on his cooling expression, his jaw taunt with tension.

“Giyuu…?”

“Not till you learn.” Your confusion must show on your face.

“That you’ll never be safe unless you’re by side.”

He didn’t believe you.

“But I—,”

“Shh… I know, my sweet pearl.” He’s blanketing you again, warmth returning to your body but his eyes remain cool.

“You’ll learn eventually.”

Something dark swirls in those depths, your gut telling you to run but…

There’s no where to go.

Dividers hand drawn by @benkeibear !

#Yan answers #not proof read lol #Giyuu Tomioka #Giyuu Tomioka x reader #Giyuu Tomioka x reader smut #yandere Giyuu Tomioka #yandere Giyuu #yandere Giyuu smut #Giyuu Tomioka smut #yandere kny #yandere kny smut #kny smut #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #yan loves her mooties #yandere profile #yandere profile Giyuu Tomioka

199 notes · View notes

joshym · 10 months

Text

Lilac Moon: Chapter 3

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 7.4k+

Warnings: (specific to this chapter) alcohol use, a good amount of angst, some pretty fluffy fluff, lot’s of cursing (sorry, lol), an almost physical fight, mentions of past trauma, mentions of anxiety (future chapters WILL contain smut, so MINORS DNI)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

a/n: this story means a lot to me, & i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i love writing it. 🤍

with that being said, i just want to reiterate that this is a complete work of pure fiction, & this is not in any way meant to be reflective of real life.

as always, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think, & let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist. :)

love you all so much!

-lis🤍

You stayed the whole night with Josh, wrapped up with him in the chill of the night. It was an accident; you hadn’t planned on staying at this house, sleeping in his arms in the serenity of his backyard. But he’s so comforting, so calming…you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to be with him just like this for the rest of your days.

You’re falling for him, and you’re falling fast.

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

The peace of the morning has settled in. You're awoken by the melodic sounds of the birds chirping their forenoon songs. The sun is just beginning its dawn, the dew ever present on the grass.

Your body slowly rises and falls with his, his breathing still indicating the patterns of a deep sleep. He’s so warm. His comforting scent penetrates your senses. His arms are wrapped snug around your body, keeping you safe and close to him. You wish this could last forever. You wish the rest of the world would go on, leaving the two of you alone in this bliss you have created together.

You finally start to come to a bit more, your mind wandering out of its dreamlike state. You stretch your stiff limbs, causing him to stir as he’s starting to wake up, too. Half asleep, he leans down to give a gentle kiss on top of your head.

“Mm, good morning. At least I think it’s morning, anyway.” His voice is deep and raspy, still sleep laden.

You suddenly come fully to your senses, realizing that you accidentally spent the entire night with him, sleeping under his pergola in the backyard. You quickly grab your phone to investigate the time.

6:18am

“Holy shit, oh my god. I’m so sorry, Josh. I can’t believe I fell asleep like that.”

You lift your body off of him, finding he’s almost reluctant to break the embrace, but does it anyway.

“Why would you be sorry? I don’t mind at all. It’s actually the most restful sleep I’ve gotten in a long while.”

“I just hate to be so intrusive. This is your home, I shouldn’t have stayed all night like that. That’s so rude of me. I’m so sor-” he cuts you off before you can apologize for a second time.

“Y/n, please.” He sits up on the couch to be eye level with you, smiling a toothy grin at your embarrassment that he finds adorable. His hair is in a fluffy mess from sleeping outside all night, but it’s wonderfully charming to you. “Don’t say sorry. I’m happy you stayed. It gets a little lonely here sometimes and you’re fantastic company.” He lifts your hand to give it a quick peck.

“Well, I guess this means I have to make you breakfast now, huh.” He gives you a sly wink, making you blush as you both break out in a set of sleepy giggles.

He leads you in the house. You’d only seen his home in artificial lighting since you came over so late, but now, you’re seeing it in the glow of the day. The rising sun has encapsulated the space in a warm golden tone showcasing the architectural detailing and his elegant decor. There’s one wall in the living room that is entirely made up of floor to ceiling windows with a view of the forest behind it. You’re in absolute awe as you take it all in.

You’re in desperate need of freshening up, so you ask him where the restroom is. He points down the long hallway, telling you it’s the second door on your right.

You take your time to splash some water on your face, use the small brush you keep in your purse to fix your hair a little, and you’re thanking your lucky stars that you always carry around a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste set.

Once you feel a little more presentable, you head back to the kitchen to find Josh rummaging through his fridge and cabinets for ingredients to make breakfast.

“What can I help you with?”

“Uh, absolutely nothing. You’re my guest and you will be treated as such. I am but your humble servant.” He bows to you, then walks over to the first seat at the island and pulls it out for you. “Your throne awaits, my dear.”

“If you insist, good sir.” You can’t even begin to hide the smile taking over your face.

“Sir, huh? Kinda like the sound of that.” he says with a sly wink as you both laugh.

Any other time you’ve stayed at a man’s house, it usually involves sex that is less than pleasurable for you, and the mornings consist of them practically shoving you out of the front door. (if they even let you stay that long)

But with Josh, it’s completely different. He didn’t need sex from you last night. He was perfectly content with just being with you, being in your presence. Completely okay with just a kiss, the most beautiful kiss you’ve ever shared with anyone. A kiss that happened when you were in the depths of explaining the most vulnerable parts of yourself that he wanted to know about. And not only that, he wants to cook for you this morning.

What is happening?

You’re watching intently as Josh gathers his ingredients for what appears to be quite the meal he has planned.

“So what are you making me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” he says with a smirk.

“Oh no. You’re not going to poison me, are you?”

He huffs out a laugh. “ Of course not. Unless you’re allergic to blackberries.” He puts some blackberries in a pot on the stove, stirring in a mixture of lemon juice, vanilla and water. “I’m making a blackberry compote to go on top of our french toast.”

“Oh! That sounds amazing, Josh!”

“Well, don’t give me too much credit. It’s a Jacob specialty. He’s a far better cook than I. But don’t ever tell him I said that. Wouldn’t want it going to his head.”

He lets the compote come to a boil before meticulously mixing in a little cornstarch.

“Jakes a cook?”

“Oh absolutely. He’s been cooking for the better part of our lives now. And I don’t mean he makes some measly pasta dish with premade sauce in a jar from the store, he is up to par with the professionals. I love all things culinary, but I don’t hold a candle to him.”

He continues stirring his concoction until it’s thick enough to his liking. He puts a little on a spoon, blowing on it until you can no longer see steam. He walks over to you and gently holds the spoon up to your mouth.

“Here, tell me what you think.”

You look in his eyes while you taste it, this moment feeling awfully romantic.

“It’s perfect.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yes, I do! Josh, are you sure you don’t need my help? You’re doing too much, I feel bad just watching you slave away.”

He walks back over to the stove to begin preparing the toast.

“Like I said, you’re my guest. I don’t get to do this often, so let me spoil you, okay?”

You nod and smile in agreement while you watch him finish the toast. He decorates your plates to near perfection, taking his time to drizzle the blackberry compote on top of the toast in a certain design. He tops it off with a little powdered sugar before setting your plate in front of you.

“Ladies first.” he says, signaling you to take the first bite. He watches you closely as you do so, anxiously awaiting your reaction.

“Well? How is it?”

“My compliments to the chef. Or should I say, the far less cuisine-talented Kiszka twin.” He covers his face in an attempt to conceal his laughter. “No seriously. This is incredible. Thank you for doing this. You really didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to. I don’t get to have people over here often, in fact I don’t even get to be here as much as I’d like, so this is nice.”

You both finish your breakfast, talking about anything and everything that graces the forefront of your minds. You talk a little about the tour and he offers some life-on-the-road advice to you, you talk some more about music and the future for both of your bands, things of that nature.

“Just so you know, I’ve been down the rabbit hole that is Lilac Moon.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Been listening to your music, watching your videos…I know I’ve already said this, but you’re pretty fantastic. Your stage presence is outstanding, y/n. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do in an arena. Lilac Moon truly deserves to be on a bigger stage.”

“Well, thank you. It’s going to be a change of scenery, that’s for sure.”

As much as you feel your music is going nowhere, that’s not entirely true. Your band has roughly 60,000 monthly listeners on Spotify, which is pretty damn good for a group that rarely leaves its home state. You’ve also been featured on NPR Music's YouTube channel for a Tiny Desk concert. That’s no small feat. The bands’ Instagram page has nearly 80,000 followers, with your own personal page reaching close to 30,000. You’ve been able to do multiple professional live recordings for various radio stations, even have two music videos out for your original songs. The recording of your first EP, self funded, of course, was a pivotal moment. It garnered a lot of attention from people, and its success allowed for a second one to be recorded and released within just a few months. Things aren’t quite as stagnant as you feel they are, it's Jay that has made you believe that it’s not enough. He’s convinced you that fame is all that matters, and you’ve allowed yourself to believe it. You know that’s not true. Those things don’t matter. The music matters the most, and that’s your true love. You’re finding that you’re starting to fall in love with that aspect of it all again.

“I uh, also happened to stumble upon a cover you all did at a few shows. A little number called Safari Song, I believe? Can't seem to remember who does that one…hmm..” he giggles at the blush creeping on your face.

Lilac Moon has performed that song countless times in front of audiences. Obviously a crowd favorite.

“Gee, I can’t remember who does that one either.” you say to him with a wink.

“I have to admit, I’m incredibly nervous, Josh. I mean, what if they don’t like us? I doubt many of them know us…I just…I don’t handle criticism well…I know that’s something I have to fix if I want to continue any kind of career in this field. I’m just nervous. This is the biggest thing to ever happen to us…I’m terrified they’ll hate us.”

“Ah, I remember those feelings quite well. It can be frightening, I know. But I can promise you this: they’re going to love you. I know our fans. They’re some of the most accepting, loving people. They feel it from us, and they reciprocate it. Just go out there with love, and they’ll love you right back. Love is the key.”

He pats the top of your head in a silly, loving way to reassure you a little extra.

“But you should know this already, I mean you are one of them, after all.” he says with a wink. “Just how big of a fan are you, anyways? Just out of curiosity. I hope you’re not a crazed, stalker type. If you are, well, you’ve done a good job of it because you’re in my house.” he says with a boisterous laugh.

“Well, I went to as many shows as I could back in the day. Got a few guitar picks, a drum stick. You even handed me a rose one time.”

“What? You know…” he stops to ponder in thought a bit. “Yeah…yes! I remember you! Oh my God, how could I have forgotten this. You and Ivy! I remember seeing you at tons of shows, and I remember handing you the rose.” He taps his fingers on his chin while he thinks. “St. Louis. Ballpark Village in 2017. You were wearing the most lovely purple dress with these huge sleeves that were just beautiful…and you had the most wonderful flowers in your hair. That’s why I wanted to give you the rose, because of your flowers. Such a lovely sight.”

You’re left in complete shock. His memory is serving him right, because that’s exactly what you were wearing.

“I can’t believe you remembered all of that. That’s just…how on earth do you still remember that? It’s been so many years, and you’ve done thousands of shows since then..”

“You just spoke to me, I guess. You were so sweet, so gentle in the mix of people who were screaming at the top of their lungs. You just radiated this energy that I didn’t feel from anyone else in the crowd. You were there for the music, for the peace it brought you, I could tell.”

You’re struck aghast at hearing this from him, because he’s absolutely right. You always felt a sort of peace at their shows. They felt eerily intimate to you, and you can’t believe he picked up on that from the crowds of people that surrounded you.

“Wow, Josh. I’m just astounded. I never knew you noticed me, let alone remembered me.”

“Look at you, y/n! I’d be crazy to not remember the likes of you, sweet girl. Like I said last night, the universe is mysterious. It wanted our paths to cross again, and now look what’s come of it? It’s a wonderful thing.”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You’ve been so lost in conversation that you don’t even realize three hours have gone by.

You start to help Josh clean up in the kitchen when you hear his phone going off.

“Shit. Hold on, I have to get that.”

He answers it, opting to put it on speaker. You’re taken aback by this. This man really has nothing to hide, and nothing to hide from you. It’s a sweet, seemingly insignificant gesture that makes you smile to yourself.

“Where the fuck are you?” You recognize Jake's voice instantly, and he’s not thrilled.

“Oh fuck, man. I totally forgot. What time was I supposed to be there?”

“You were supposed to be here over an hour ago to get hair and makeup done, Josh. The shoot starts in 30 minutes. You better get your ass over here now.” You hear Sammy’s unmistakable laughter in the background, clearly mocking his older brother's irresponsibility.

“Tell Sam to shut the fuck up. I’m on my way.”

You hear the call disconnect from the other end.

“I’m so sorry, Josh. This is all my fault.”

“No, don’t be. It’s just a silly magazine. They want us pretty damn bad for this next cover, so they aren’t going anywhere.”

You help him get the last few things tidied up in the kitchen before grabbing your stuff to head out the door with him. He walks you to your car, opening your door for you but stops you before you get in.

“Can we- can we do this again sometime? I know we’ve both got busy schedules with everything coming up. But I really, really enjoyed talking to you. I’m sorry if I got a little carried away last night. I just couldn’t help myself and-” you’re not sure where or how you got this sudden courage, but you grabbed him lightly by his shirt and brought him to your lips in a sweet, longing kiss to cut off his apology. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, bringing you even closer to him.

“Don’t be sorry.” you whisper as you move away slightly from his lips. “I would love to do this again. Soon, I hope?”

“Yes, very soon. Every night if we can.”

You meet each other in another kiss but it’s cut short as Josh’s phone is going off yet again, presumably Jake.

“I really hate to, but I have to go. Text me, okay?”

“I will.” you say as you sit in the driver's seat of your car.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Bye, y/n.”

He smiles as he shuts your car door. You watch him walk to his jeep. He looks wonderful in the sun, effortlessly stunning. The butterflies in your stomach are in a fluttering mass. You’re not sure what any of this means or where it could possibly be going, but you’re welcoming all of it with open arms.

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

Your mind is racing on your drive home. In fact, you decide to take the long way to your apartment to give yourself some space for deep thought. You love to take long drives to just let yourself think, to let yourself be.

You decide to skip going home right away, opting to drive yourself to Ivy’s to see if she’s home. You have to talk to someone, and who better than your very best friend.

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief when you pull up to her complex to see her car in her usual parking spot.

It’s not out of the ordinary for the two of you to show up to each other’s places unannounced. You even have a key to her apartment, and she owns one to yours as well.

You lived together briefly upon moving to Nashville, that is until Jay came into the picture. He moved in with you and essentially forced Ivy out. She didn’t take it well, and you can’t blame her one bit. He always said it was for ‘privacy.’ You hated that you let him do that. You hated that he tried to put a wedge between you and Ivy. It left a dent in your friendship for a while, and as much as she says she forgives you and doesn't place the blame on you, you can’t help but feel shameful for letting him run your life the way he did. Despite all of it, it somehow made you and Ivy stronger in the end. Your friendship has stood the tests of time and tribulation.

You make it up the steps to the second floor of the complex and let yourself in the front door of her apartment. It’s still early, so you have no doubt she’s still asleep.

As you walk inside, your theory is confirmed when you see her sprawled out on the couch in a deep sleep. You giggle a bit as she has always been notorious for falling asleep on the couch almost every night.

You sit down next to her and try to wake her up without scaring the shit out of her. She’s also notorious for getting a bit aggressive when she’s startled awake.

“Ivy…wake up. It’s me. We have to talk, like now.” you say in a hushed tone.

She starts to wake up a bit, tossing around to grab her phone that's buried in the cushions.

“What the hell are you doing here so early? Why are you even up?”

“I wasn’t at home last night..”

“Wha-what?” She's more awake now, sitting up in a better position to talk.

“What do you mean? Where were you? I literally dropped you off after practice.”

“Well, I was home for a bit. Then I got a text from Josh…”

Her eyes are now fully open and displaying shock as she’s scanning your face, desperate to hear the rest of your tale.

“Wait, what? What did he say? Did you hangout with him?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t think that was his initial intention. He just wanted to apologize for being so sappy at the restaurant yesterday. He said some beautiful things, Ive. That’s why I was about to cry.”

She nods her head as if to signal you to keep going.

“Well, then he asked about Jay and why he’s such a prick. I told him it was a long story. One thing led to another, and he asked me to come over to have some wine and talk. So, I did.”

She has the biggest smile on her face, her eyes squinted almost entirely from her grin.

“And you stayed? All night? Holy shit, y/n. You slept with Josh. You slept with Joshua fucking Kisz-” you interupt her with an obnoxious laugh at her ridiculous assumption.

“Ivy! We did NOT sleep together. I mean, we slept together, but we didn’t fuck. Jesus, get your mind out of the gutter.” You playfully slap her arm. “We did kiss, though…and I told him about my dad. I don’t know what happened, it just..did. It happened so quickly. I felt so safe with him.”

“You kissed him? Y/n, oh my God. Tell me everything. Who initiated?”

“I told him a little about my experience with my mom…and you know me, you know I don’t talk about these things. I told him about how my dad instilled in me this passion for music that I have. I started to cry, and he said he wanted to kiss me…and I told him to do it..”

“That’s…that’s amazing, y/n.”

“And he listened to me, Ivy. He actually listened to me. He was so..intentional. I felt so heard. I think that’s why I fell asleep with him. It just…it felt nice, you know? Maybe I’m overthinking everything…and odds are this doesn’t mean anything. But it just felt really…nice.”

Ivy leans in and wraps you in a hug. She knows all too well of the struggles you’ve faced, and she knows how hard it is for you to talk about it all. The two of you share a bond together that no one else will ever be able to fully comprehend. She’s also been through her fair share of traumas, so the two of you understand one another in a way that is different from other relationships in your lives.

“Okay so..is there anything else I need to know?”

“He cooked me breakfast this morning.”

“What the fuck. This man isn’t real. There’s no way. It’s too good to be true.”

You both laugh at this, and you halfway agree with her.

“If I wasn’t there, I don’t think I’d believe it myself. You know my track record with men is absolute shit. I mean I even apologized for staying all night, and he practically thanked me for staying. Said he gets lonely. And he wouldn’t even let me help him with breakfast. It was so sweet.”

“What did he make you, anyway?”

“The most incredible french toast I’ve ever had. He told me it’s Jake's recipe. Apparently Jake is some high-end chef. Isn’t that amazing?”

Ivy perked right up at that.

“So, since you’re all chummy with Josh, can you set me up with his outrageously sexy, guitar-god of a twin?”

You both burst out in a fit of giggles.

“You are absolutely ridiculous.”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You’ve spent the entire day with Ivy. Relaxing, watching your favorite tv shows, eating snacks. You’ve been so busy with Lilac Moon lately that it’s been hard to find time to just rest, so you’re grateful for the opportunity that arose today.

You held off from texting Josh at the risk of seeming too eager, but you were starting to feel guilty that your promise fell through. You decide that it’s probably okay to text him, given it’s been several hours since you saw him so you shouldn’t look that desperate.

You: How did the photoshoot go? Jake didn’t kill you for being late, did he?

Josh: Unfortunately, he did just that. I am speaking to you from the grave. ;)

You’re surprised by the almost instant reply.

You: Oh! What a shame. I was really starting to like you. :(

You: I really am sorry I made you so late!

Josh: Not your fault, sweet girl! Jacob gets agitated quite easily but it’s nothing to bat an eye at. All was well, as I knew it would be! What are you doing on this fine evening?

Ivy catches you smiling at your phone.

“You look an awful lot like you’re talking to a gorgeous rockstar over there.”

“And what if I am? You’re jealous, huh.” you say with a smirk.

“Shut the hell up, y/n.”

You return to responding to Josh when suddenly your phone starts ringing with an incoming call. To your disgust, it’s Jay. Him calling this late can only mean one thing, a last minute gig at a shitty bar.

You turn your screen to show Ivy, to which she responds with a heavy eye roll.

“Hello, Jay.”

“Are you with Ivy?”

“Yes, why?”

“Be at The Basement in 45 minutes. Juliens on his way with the equipment. We’re on at 9.”

“Are you fucking kidding me-” he hangs up before you can argue.

You look at Ivy who’s got annoyance written all over her face.

“Well that’s just fucking great.”

“Please, y/n, don’t tell me we’re playing where I think we’re playing..”

Ivy puts her face in her hands, knowing exactly what your response will be.

“Yep. The Basement. The fucking Basement. I don’t know how many times we have to tell Jay that we hate this fucking place.”

The Basement in south Nashville is quite literally your least favorite place to play. It’s such a small bar that gets crowded quickly, it’s gross and always smells like regurgitated alcohol, and the sound system is absolute shit. Also, this place never fails to attract the nastiest, most disrespectful men that yell the most horrendous things at you and Ivy.

“How much time do we have to get ready?”

“He wants us there in 45 minutes.”

“That gives us..” she looks at her phone to confirm the time “..20 fucking minutes to get ready. Why does he wait until the last minute to plan these things!”

The Basement also conveniently doesn’t house any dressing rooms for you to get ready in, and you’re sure as hell not getting ready in the bathrooms that don’t appear to have ever been cleaned properly, so you have to hurry and get ready here.

Ivy runs to her closet to grab some outfits for the two of you while you rush to her bathroom to get out all of her makeup. You start quickly putting on your face when you realize you hadn’t responded to Josh yet. You really didn’t want to leave him hanging.

You: Well, looks like we’re booked for a last minute gig at my least favorite bar, thanks to none other than Jay.

Josh: Where would said gig happen to be?

You: The Basement. And he’s only giving us 20 minutes to be ready and get there for a soundcheck. I can tell you know, it’ll sound like shit.

Josh: I’m coming. What time is your set?

You: We’re on at 9. You really don’t need to come. This place is a dump and it’s way too overcrowded. People will probably maul you once they figure out you’re there. It’s not safe.

Josh: That’s what our security is for. :) I’ll be there. Daniel and Jake will also be in attendance. I think they love your music almost as much as I do. :)

The thought of him coming to a risky place just to see your band perform has you feeling so warm inside. You can’t explain it, but you feel safer already at the thought of him being there.

You finish your makeup in record time. Ivy barges in with an outfit for you. A pair of black velvet bell bottoms and a strapless sage green corset top donned with flowers. It’ll do. Ivy’s wearing a mini skirt the same shade of green and a black crop top with sequins.

You get dressed as Ivy rushes to finish her makeup.

“How much time, y/n?”

“We need to be in the car in 3 minutes.”

“Shit. You’re driving, then. I’ll just finish this in the car.”

You both sprint down the stairs of the complex to your car, tripping over your bell bottoms with each step.

“You just had to give me the fucking bell bottoms? I should get to wear that skirt! My legs are shorter than yours!”

“Well my ass looks bad in them, so yes! Get over it!”

♪°•°∞♬°•°♪°•°∞♬°•°♪

You finally made it. The drive here was brutal, but you made it right on time.

You head in for the soundcheck. You’re groaning at the thought of playing here again. The stage is so small that the four of you on there together are practically on top of one another. There’s hardly enough room for your equipment, but Julien is the best at making it all fit.

Joe is here and talking to the owners of the bar, probably negotiating a form of payment. These places never pay much. Stingy asses.

You quickly run through a few songs before the doors open for people to start coming in. You sound mediocre at best. This place has the absolute worst sound.

8:31 pm

There’s only about 10 minutes until doors, so you and Ivy decide to grab a drink from the bar to calm your collective nerves.

“So, Josh is coming tonight, with Danny and Jake. He insisted on it.”

She takes a sip of her angry orchard.

“Isn’t this place a little dangerous for them? Like won’t people freak out over them?”

“I literally thought the same thing, but Josh said they’re bringing security with them so it would be fine. I told him they didn’t need to come, but he sounded like they really wanted to. Said they loved our music.”

You’re suddenly startled by Jay yelling at you from backstage.

“Y/n! Ivy! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! It’s almost time!”

You both roll your eyes simultaneously at his rude behavior and head back to join him and Julien. You decide to tell Julien about your guests attending tonight's show.

“Guess what, Julie? Josh, Danny and Jake will be here tonight!”

“Uh oh, guess that means we better be on our best behavior!” he says with a playful nudge at your shoulder.

“Why the fuck do they need to be here? Do they think they need to come see us to make sure we’re actually good enough for them?”

You’re not surprised by his nasty attitude towards it, in fact you were expecting it. He’s already a few drinks in, not much of a shock.

“They just wanted to see the show, Jay. They like our music. I don’t know what the big deal is.”

Jay scoffs obnoxiously. “That’s a load of bullshit. They don’t give fuck. They just want to make sure we actually fit their standards. I know how the business works. We’re just the openers, y/n. They couldn’t care less about us and you’re better off to realize that, too.”

“Why do you have to have such a shit attitude about it? Not once have you shown an ounce of gratitude for this opportunity. You’re being an asshole about it. You were so fucking rude at the meeting. It was embarrassing.”

“I was the embarrassing one, y/n? Hm. See, how I remember it is you were flirting up a fucking storm with the miniature lead singer. Everyone noticed. Seems like you’re trying to make it good with him, get yourself a step ahead of all of us. He’s your ticket to fame, isn’t he?”

Now you’re pissed.

“You’re just mad that I don’t want to be with your sorry ass anymore. You can’t handle when another man gives me attention, can you? Sounds like you’re pretty fucking jealous to me.”

“You’re just using him, y/n. You don’t want him. And there’s no way he’d want a nobody like you. It’s pathetic. You’re just fulfilling some stupid fantasy of yours, huh?”

“Fuck you, Jay.”

You storm off towards the stage. Ivy follows close behind, about to bite a hole in her tongue to keep from making things worse.

“It must suck to be so fucking miserable all the time. It’d be great if you’d get over yourself for once.” Julien says before he follows your lead to head on stage.

For the first time in a long while, you and Ivy aren’t the last ones making it to the stage.

8:59 pm

People are piling in fast. You hit the stage to a loud collection of cheers. You scan the audience quickly, seeing your distinguished guests towards the back of the bar surrounded by a slew of security guards. The anger you were feeling has instantly melted away at the site of Josh and his toothy smile. His energy instantaneously makes you feel lighter.

9:01 pm

You tap the mic a few times to ensure it’s working. You take a deep breath.

“Good evening! How are we all doing tonight?”

The crowd is exceptionally loud tonight, and you’re starting to feel better about the whole situation.

You look around to your bandmates to signal you’re ready, when you notice the absence of your high strung guitarist.

You look back to Julien with silent question, to which he responds with wide eyes and a shrug of his shoulders.

You decide to buy a little time by doing your usual warming-up-the-crowd antics.

“We’re Lilac Moon, in case you’re new here.” You start nervously adjusting the mic stand, an anxious fidget of yours. “If you like what you hear, don’t be afraid to tip us. If you don’t like what you hear, still tip us and we’ll be sure to use it for lessons.” Julien punctuates your cheesy joke with a *ba dum tss* of his kit.

That one gets them everytime, so you’re not surprised to hear a lot of laughter from the crowd.

9:07 pm

You look to your left, still no Jay.

Shit.

“Lots of lovely faces out here tonight. It’s a shame you’re stuck looking at ours.” Another *ba dum tss* from Julien and plenty of laughs from the crowd.

9:10 pm

Still no Jay. You’re starting to panic. Julien senses it and decides to head backstage in search of him.

You and Ivy do your best to buy more time, but people are getting antsy. You periodically look to Josh to see his face filled with worry.

9:14 pm

Finally, just as you were about to head backstage yourself, here comes Julien with a clearly disordered Jay.

Great. He’s fucking wasted.

You’re nervous for what could happen, but the show must go on.

“You all ready?” you say as Ivy taps a few notes on her bass and Jay strums a chord on his guitar.

The crowd cheers, and you begin.

The first several songs go as well as you could’ve hoped. The crowd is really into it tonight. You’re trying not to keep your eyes set on Josh the whole time, but it’s proving to be quite difficult. He looks so enthralled, and you notice that he’s even singing along to some of your songs. It’s surreal, to say the least. He even blows you a few kisses, causing you to become flustered.

9:53 pm

The next song is your newest piece, Alone Again, the one that requires you to play some rhythm guitar with Jay. You go to grab your instrument, feeling slightly less anxious than the other night for its debut and your first time playing on stage.

You make your speech about playing guitar, finding the opportunity to say once again “if it sounds like shit, just blame Jay” only this time, he doesn’t appear to be too pleased with your quip. He stares at you with an empty, angry glare as he steps closer to his mic.

What is he about to do..

“No, no. If it sounds like shit, blame her. She’s the one who wrote this song. Oh, should I mention she wrote it about me? You know, we were in the ‘throes of love.’” he uses air quotes, making his sarcasm apparent, “but all love stories must end, isn’t that right, y/n? I bet your new fling didn’t know this little number was about me, did he?” He looks towards Josh. “Did you know that? That she wrote this about me?” He’s slurring and stumbling all over his words, clearly very drunk as the alcohol has had more time to settle. Luckily, no one in the audience seems to register that he’s trying to point out someone in the crowd. But their security is wrapped tightly around them, just in case.

You’re speechless. You’re embarrassed. You're not even sure how to go about beginning the song now, but thankfully, Julien taps his snare a few times, and the song finally begins.

The last time you performed this song, you were full of emotions that forced you to become somewhat vulnerable on stage. This time, the only emotion you feel is anger. Pure, unfiltered anger. You’re nearly screaming the lyrics. Your strumming is intense. You’re just ready to get it over with.

Despite it all, the audience loves it. Their cheers make it apparent that they’ve mostly forgotten about the awkward intro to the track.

Thankfully, Jay keeps his mouth shut for the rest of the set, and everything ends rather smoothly.

10:26 pm

“Thank you all so much! We hope to see you again soon!” you say as you blow a kiss and wave to the audience, getting tons of kisses and waves right back as they cheer.

Once you’re all backstage, Joe takes Jay aside and corners him.

“What the hell was that about, huh? You trying to make yourself look like a damn fool? ‘Cause you’re doing a great job at it, bud!”

Your adrenaline from being on stage has quickly left and anger is seeping in your blood once again.

You walk over to Joe and push him aside.

“What the fuck, Jay? You’re going to make us look like a fucking joke. You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

He starts screaming at you. You’re not even able to make out what he’s saying. A lot of ‘bitch’ and ‘fuck you’s’ being thrown around is all you can manage to understand.

“What the FUCK is your problem?” Danny yells loud enough that it startles him and cuts him off. “I’ll be God damned if I let you speak to her like that any longer.” Just as he says that, Jay lifts his fist, ready to land on Danny.

“Oh I don’t fucking think so.” Before he can swing, Danny grabs him and locks his arms behind his back.

Jay is trying to release himself from his grasp, but the drummer is far too strong for him and his drunken, belligerent state.

Josh and Jake are close behind, running up to you to be sure you’re okay.

“Y/n, you and Ivy come with us. You don’t need to be in his company any longer.” Josh says as he grabs your hand to pull you away, glaring at Jay.

“You know you’re nothing to her! She only wants you ‘cause you’re famous! She doesn’t give a fuck about you or anyone else!” he screams as Danny, Joe and Julien take him outside to the back of the venue to cool him off.

“Get fucked, you piece of shit!” Josh yells back in a deep, angry tone, one you didn’t think was possible from him.

That…was fucking hot.

You’re mortified. He demeaned you in front of the audience, but worst of all, he tried to start a physical fight with a member of the band that’s helping you further your career. Embarrassment doesn’t even cover it.

“I am…I’m so sorry about all of this. We were fighting before the show and I guess he took it upon himself to get absolutely trashed.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, y/n. You guys shouldn’t have to put up with this bullshit.” Jake says.

“Josh, please don’t believe anything he says. He’s completely out of it, I don’t even think he realizes he lost his shit on stage. He’s an asshole, but he takes his music very seriously. That’s not like him to do that, I swear.”

“I have no reason to believe a word out of his mouth, y/n. And you need to stop justifying his behavior. There’s no reason for him to act that way. But I do want to know something…” you look to him to let him know he can continue his thought, “Did you really write that song? About him? It’s a wonderful, beautiful song. But, the lyrics. How could you still feel that way about him?”

“Yes, I did. I wrote it the day I broke things off.” You’ve thought the same things. How could you possibly waste your energy on a song about him? “I guess I didn’t write it about him so much as I wrote it about who I thought he was. I, I don’t know. I thought he was different, Josh. I was naive. I don’t feel those things..and to be honest, I’m not sure I ever did. I think I liked the idea of being with him more than anything. There wasn’t any real love there. It felt so empty.”

Jake and Ivy take it upon themselves to leave, to give you two some space.

“You are worlds better than him. Universes, even. He doesn’t deserve to share space with you.”

“I wish he wasn’t in this band. I wish things were different. I wish we could just kick him out and find someone else, it’s just not that easy. None of us can stand being around him anymore. He’s gone completely off the deep end since the break up. He makes it really hard for me, for all of us, to love this band like we used to.”

You’re in a tough spot. You feel the need to make excuses for Jay because he’s still a vital part of this band. And you feel it’s your responsibility to keep the peace amongst everyone, because you feel a sort of guilt for everything that happened. You’re convinced that you’re the reason he acts this way.

Josh doesn’t speak for a few minutes, looking like something on his mind is plaguing him.

“Josh? What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t want to say anything until I had more information. But…we found out today that the label is kind of being difficult about you coming on tour with us since you’re not signed with them. We all thought it’d be okay, given you’re not signed with anyone, but apparently that’s somewhere in the fine lines of the contracts. Our manager didn’t even think it’d be a big deal.”

You stare blankly at him, watching as his expression turns more and more distraught.

“They were here tonight, y/n. They were prepared to sign you, but after Jay’s outburst on stage….I don’t know, they weren’t happy. They left before you finished.”

Fuck.

“I…I mean what do we do? Can we have a meeting with them? We can’t let this happen, I won’t let it happen. I won’t let that mother fucker ruin this for us. He’s such a fucki-” he stops you before you can really work yourself up and brushes his hand gently on your cheek to calm you down.

“Listen, I will make this happen, okay? We can pull some strings. You deserve this and I’ll prove that to them. But, that could mean finding a new guitarist. I don’t know for sure, so don’t stress too much about that yet. I just want you to know that might be a possibility, okay?”

This news should send you into a spiral, but his voice is so calming…his demeanor is peaceful…you can’t help but trust everything he says. Looking into his eyes, you have no doubt everything will be alright.

“Okay, Josh..” you say with a heavy sigh.

He smiles at you and leans down to place a kiss on your nose.

To be continued…

Chapter 4

join the taglist!

taglist: @jakeyt @fwzco @jessicafg03 @blissfulbellss @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @arsonkween @sicksadandrad @gretavansara @witchofendora @andtherestishistory13 @aintthatapity @itsdannysworld @thetroublegetssoloud71 @slaythelightfantastic

i *think* i got everyone, but, again, tumblr is being weird with tags.

a/n: here’s a little playlist of songs that, to me, represent the kind of music Lilac Moon would do, if they were real. ☺️

i’d like to think of their music as a mix of all of these sounds put together, if that makes sense. lol

#josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka smut #josh kisza x reader #jake kiszka #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet smut #josh fic #lilac moon

95 notes · View notes

applesontheground · 11 months

Text

🕯️mama didn't raise a quitter ⛓️

happy multi-may! i'm a little late but i'm watching Joy Ride 3 with my homies tonight, so the timing was important to give you guys another installment of these two bastards barely managing during a threesome. this isn't a hard sequel to push and shove, but the love bite that the reader received in the aforementioned are called back to at one point. that's really it, though, so it's not terribly necessary to read the former if you haven't!

also, since they asked for a tag when i finally posted this: @bisexual-horror-fan @tinalbion @lucifers-horror-harem ♡♡♡

NSFW | Word Count: 3,254 | Bo Sinclair x GN Reader x Rusty Nail

contains polyamory/threesome, slight dubcon, hinted age gap, ogling, unhealthy dynamics, teasing, GN penetration, handjobs, slapping, possessive talk, be warned: the hinge poly comes off its hinges

🎼: x

You didn’t quell either of them so much as you simply acted as a buffer. These wires still had their moments of crossing – Bo saying one thing too much that made Rusty lose his temper, or the vice versa that was twice as dangerous.

Sometimes, it felt more like a custody battle than an open relationship between the two of them. It was such a chore some nights to talk one man into staying the night with the other, still falling into the standard of wanting you to themselves. Rusty didn’t care to challenge taking Bo from Ambrose, and Bo was some days far too conservative to open the bedroom to another person. You weren’t sure what it would take, but you also knew you weren’t going to keep trying to encourage it if neither of them would go for it.

It had to fall into their hands eventually.

Rusty liked to get out of town, but just like with the sleepovers, dragging Bo with the two of you was like herding trigger-happy cats. You finally got him by pointing out no one in the right mind would travel to Ambrose during bad weather. As he got in the truck, a begrudging passenger simply because he didn’t feel like arguing, he made sure to still give the cold shoulder while adjusting in his seat.

It only lead to him rubbing against you with his rain-spotted arm on accident while doing so. You glanced up, smiling when it got his attention and gaining that friendly wag of the eyebrows in return. Soon, it became a downcast look over towards the shirt that was open one button too low. Even in the wake of summer rain in the South, it was still insanely humid. It kind of made the two common weather afflictions even worse, the edges of your hair curling twice as much in the damp air and causing you to sweat alongside being soaked from the storm.

“Ever heard of keeping your eyes forward, Bo?” Rusty chided, putting the truck into motion while prematurely smiling at what he knew would follow. The other man spat, “You should do the same, not worry ‘bout me for once.” He looked to you for rebuttal, and not wanting to sink your heels into anyone’s camp you merely pecked a kiss on his cheek, remaining silent. It was hard to play the field some days because quiet only did so much. Rusty didn’t mind quiet, but it sometimes hit a bad spot in Bo that made him desperate for an answer.

The rest of the ride was a calculated effort to keep the affection divvied out, leaning on Bo’s shoulder but also having a hand on Rusty’s thigh in the process. Sure, this got exhausting, but you were adamant to keep the peace because you loved both men. Even if they didn’t particularly mesh with each other, you found yourself having trouble with sleep without the demanding snuggles from each dude nowadays. It got suffocating, but in the turmoil of these two you found that you were reaching an almost codependent point where you needed it that way to stomach the constant bickering, and the constant roughness around the relationship’s edges.

Still, a quaint diner that sat in the middle of open field – right by the tree line where the trek to Ambrose would start through the forest – was decided on after Bo found the open horizon a little daunting. He played it as “needing to stay close in case the brothers need me”. Rusty and you obliged, the soft spot for his close-knit family coming along with him rather easily. If only Rusty and Bo could find common ground like they do with Les and Vincent, you silently mulled.

Truck stops were uncommon the closer you strayed to Ambrose, which made the fact that Rusty even ran into you kind of a strike of weirdly placed luck. It had almost been a year since that happened, and even a couple months was all the two of you had before finding Ambrose and getting caught in Bo’s waxwork web. The closest analogy you considered was like finding an Easter egg in some fresh April grass, but as you took a sip of your coffee you glanced to Bo scanning the room, one arm sliding over the back of the booth as he pretended to stretch, getting a better view of the people at the counter all while still trying to appear idle with his observation, you found that pastel colored jewel rotted to a color a tad darker in your head.

Still, it made you smirk, the hand that wasn’t holding your mug going over to drag gently along the edge of his ring while you did your own quiet people watching.

You would assume Rusty had an aversion to light with how low he wore his hat, even indoors. You teased that it looked like he was sleeping half the time, trying to play it off by hiding his face any time more than two people were in the room with him. You smirked at the sight of it, blowing in his direction even. He slowly turned his head, and you giggled, “Just making sure you aren’t nodding off.”

“You know I can’t sleep with this many people around, [Y/N].” Rusty drawled, “Really wouldn’t mind if you didn’t get off on embarrassing me.” You hummed at that, almost understanding as you then eased, “Sorry, Rusty. I can find a way to make it up to you if you’d like.”

Bo snorted, but he ignored it and asked back, “Being a little negotiator. Old habits always seem to die hard with you.”

“Did you need more coffee, [sir/ma’am]?” Your eyes were torn away from him, all three of you eyeing the waiter standing by the outside of the booth. Looking down at your quarter-full mug, you then replied, “Oh, sure.” As he poured, you piped up just as quickly, “Thank you,”

The second that smile came over your face, it was like blood in the water. You couldn’t help it; you worked as a waitress for one of your first jobs, so the urge to be overtly kind was often potent at restaurants. Still, he then smiled back a little too widely – something you didn’t react to until he walked away. Your bright expression deflated, and you saw either man on your shoulders from your peripherals. They had their arms folded on the table, acting nonchalantly for the same reasons of saving face, being cordial.

When he wasn’t looking, though, they both were quick to give him a fair sizing up. “…Y’don’t like it either?” Bo’s hand slid from the back of the booth, landing on the shoulder furthest away from him as he caught the way Rusty was staring along with him.

Enveloped in the warmth and the phantom of cigarettes on both his flannel and his breath, he muttered to him, “Think we both need some retribution for bringin’ our [fella/gal/baby] out here just to be toyed with.” Rusty shook his head at that, hat worn lower as he scoffed, “You’re not being sly, Sinclair.”

“That’s right, m’not. I don’t pussyfoot it like the both of you.” His finger trailed up, gently grazing the side of your neck and only growing more friendly and lavish as he noticed the way it made your skin tighten, the bumps revealing under fluorescent lights. “I’m saying we should take this little heartbreaker home after this, where [he/she belongs / they belong].” You gave him a cautious glance, assurance that you knew your best spot was right in the middle of the two of them. Rusty caught the stare, and you shifted to give it to him, too. You even smiled a little in the same fashion. It was your trademark at this point.

“Don’t think it’s your fault, [cowboy/little miss],” Rusty hummed, and he adjusted in his seat as he mentioned, “But the boy’s got a point. Gettin’ a little too friendly with strangers.”

“And you know how dangerous that can get,” Bo reminded you from the other side, making your smile feign into something more sheepish as you murmured, “You both know I didn’t mean anything by it. Why are you so antsy?”

Rusty gestured briefly to the counter, “Waiter boy doesn’t know that, now does he?” Bo grinned, a rare bout of toothiness as he then snickered, “Probably thinks Rusty’s your daddy.” You bit your tongue at that; partially to keep from smiling and another part to keep a joke about how that wasn’t necessarily wrong to yourself. The older man leaned against the table now, crossing his arms and giving Bo a sharp glance as he brought up, “Sure, and you can be her shit-kicker boyfriend-“Your heart sat in your throat as you felt Bo’s movement lose its softness against your throat, slow down and finally curl back around your shoulder, “who don’t know how to act when in front of the parents. Fits you rather nicely.”

He then laughed, a rather wicked smile as he picked up on the shift in demeanor. You merely looked down at the table. It was your turn to do the soothing, rubbing the knuckles that were still around your shoulder with the hand that wasn’t currently set against his side, and he muttered, “Funny. You’re real funny, Rusty.”

“Well, I can be funnier when we get back. Give you my own retribution along with [Y/N].” Rusty then replied.

With how tense the booth became, you weren’t sure if you were even hungry anymore.

They could be heinous in broad daylight, but in the cover of the Sinclair home, the blinds in Bo’s bedroom drawn tight and thunder from outside quelling anything from leaving the walls with its own cacophony, you were in a familiar position between the two men rather fast.

It was a reverse from your last romp, Rusty now the one you were using for support while Bo was easing up from behind, not shy to jerk your hips to where he needed them, feeling the anger from earlier coming out in how quick his blunt nails were scratching your skin raw where your hips and thighs met. It was a welcome intrusion, painful in the way that made you relish in such a primal, gut-socking hurt as it dripped from the precum into your senses. His cock took its time prodding your entrance before finding the way, a brute force that was sharp enough to make you squeal.

Still, he looked up at the man on the other end of you, and suddenly his erection fell out, hipbone colliding with you and making you wince a second time. Before you could assure him it was fine and even plead for him to try again, Rusty’s hand slid over the top of your head, pushing your face down close to his lap.

“I don’t remember datin’ a quitter.”

“Ain’t dating you.” Bo reminded him as he tried to shift his focus back to you, one hand between your shoulder blades and pushing down so you were at an angle where you absolutely battered by his gaining motions. You tried to raise your head up again to moan but was subsided by Rusty putting his hand over your mouth, callouses itching your upper lip as he took a long look into your eyes, then back to the man behind you.

“Sure, if it helps you get along that's fine, but I still sleep in your bed. Let you sleep in mine ‘longside [Y/N] in the occasion you think about leavin’ home.” His hand fell from your mouth, thumb settled on your bottom lip as you tried to stare up at him from crossing eyes, Bo still not letting up despite failing to tune the other man out.

“Again, don’t remember asking you any of this shit.” Bo retorted, but he was trying to distract himself with re-entering. The second time, you were prepared and it felt twice as good when he slid inside again, your back arching as you began the fight to keep at least slightly upright, clinging to the back of Rusty’s neck, a dog to how husky his breathing had gotten as you were to the pressure from Bo.

You caught your window moaned out, “Bo, that’s good. Could you s-stop arguing and fuck me already, I-“ That alone was enough to get him to lash out, arms hooking around your torso, cradling your [breasts/pecs] with one arm as he pulled your back to his chest, fucking with a newfound, enraged pace. “Fine. Fuckin’ fine, but I’m getting’ you to myself, wanna see that pretty goddamn face. Here you go,” He said under his breath, teeth glinting in the dim light, but soon relaxing as you turned to jelly to see you easily fit snug against him, “There you go.”

He couldn’t fucking linger, once again snapping his gaze to look at Rusty, mouth slightly open as he cupped your jaw, eyes darting from the man on the other side to down at you mewling with a tipped back head, resting in the crook of his shoulder as the words all fell to the wayside now.

“Fuckin' crybaby.” He murmured in your ear, not shy with an open hand to tap your face, make you groan in both response and in the sheer pleasure from it.

Rusty chuckled as you couldn’t help the drool fall from the corner of your mouth, making another overwhelmed groan through a strong exhale, trying to catch your breath but your chest once again constricting at another quiet noise in your ear from Bo. “Well, [he/she/they] might be a little too worn down for me, boy. How’s about you and I go at it when you’re done doin’ what you’re doin’?”

“Hell no.” Bo snarled, but your eyes popped a little wider to feel the suggestion had made his cock throb in your walls, and you only clenched in response. Holding where his forearm was barred around your chest, you smirked to yourself, wondering where this was about to go before humming as a way to fall back into the jostling you were receiving, your [cunt/hole] starting to ache from all the movement.

“I won’t mark you up, know that ain’t your favorite. That’s just for [Y/N], ain’t that right, [little lady/cowboy]?” You hummed in affirmation, and it only made Bo huff along in bemusement, his hand trailing to touch the bite marks still showing against your ribcage, press a little just to hear you cry out again.

Rusty leaned in, making you whimper in submission to the imposing of his figure, but smile a little in the well-known excitement to get both in close quarters. “I know what you like, Bo. You like a hand ‘round that cock, don’t you?”

“Shut up.” He gritted, the first remnants of a final spray of precum making your thighs shiver against his. He had to catch his breath after those two words, once again looking away from the both of you as he tried to focus on how you felt. You were becoming lightheaded, out of tune with the two of them to stop the bickering and seeping with warmth. You were sure to fall flat on your face into the bed if Bo stopped holding you against him, being the full support and knowing it as his grip adjusted.

“I’ve slipped my finger in you before. Thought you’d pass out from how hard it made you. Came all over our pretty [boy/girl/baby’s] face, too.” He didn’t dare touch you while Bo had his hands on you, yet Rusty didn't have to as he suddenly sputtered in his movements as Bo saw it clear as day in his mind, and it took him to the edge.

“That’s right. Still gets you all worked up even if you won’t admit it. It’s alright, I enjoy the look of it, too.” Rusty eased him down, the younger man’s panting long and heavy in your ear, almost as humid against your skin as the rainy summer air you had been feeling not even an hour ago, warmth seeping into your body as he thoroughly drove upwards in fluid thrusts.

The breathing broke down into quiet moans, something you knew he could let out in a louder fashion if he wanted. He looked down, almost turning into you to hide in your hair as your hand trailed up, stroking his brown curls and even turning your head to kiss him, your walls spasming against his body as he fell flaccid, cock still settled inside of you. He was covering your nipples with his arm, a subconscious act of possessive nature.

You were regaining the critical thought in your mind, and now curious. Still pressing feather light kisses against Bo’s face, your eyes then darted back to Rusty. He wasn’t interested in you anymore, per se, and that was a new thing. Something you found you didn’t mind, now leaning out of the way and smiling at him so he could see the confused, slightly shaken man behind you.

You didn’t think he could have eyes for Bo, too, but here you all were. Like a pressure to keep them cordial was slipping out of your responsibility, you murmured, “Want me to get out the way, Rusty?”

Bo flinched a little, but Rusty perked at that and hummed, “That’d be nice of you, [babydoll/pretty boy].” You couldn’t help it, Bo letting go finally and you nearly crashing into the other man, pressing another adoring kiss to his lips before scrambling out of the other man's lap. Bo was still reeling from the last rut, but you gave support in arms around his waist, tucked close over one shoulder despite being out of sight.

It was exhilarating to see them face to face, and you whispered, “No shame in this, Bo. He’ll treat you well, figure out what makes you scream. Believe me.” His eyes were downcast, unable to keep from getting a little hard in record time, face flaring in a flustered color. You encouraged it, smiling against his throat, “That’s it. Look at you, I didn’t know you could get hard that fast.”

“Quit,” He finally chided, but he was holding your leg that framed his with a ferocity refusing to reveal itself as nerve.

“Not asking you to like me, Bo. Just askin’ you to work with me for a change.” You knew where Rusty's hand had found itself, Bo’s entire body growing tense but quickly shivering with an almost frightened level of ecstasy after the initial hold went around him. You did your best to quell the ferocity, kissing up and down the column of his neck, feeling Rusty’s other hand come around to brace your other leg to his hip.

“Both of us can’t get enough of you,” You whispered, and Bo tried to make his voice gruff at that to groan, but it cracked: he merely hummed in another bout of desperation, head tipping down as he spat, “Swear to god if you tear my dick off-“

You couldn’t help it, laughing and hiding your face against his bare shoulder as Rusty paused and Bo smirked at him. Rusty almost wanted to laugh, merely tipping his head in a bemused acknowledgement before the younger man finally let his hands slide up his counterpart's thighs, and he then added just for good measure under his breath.

“Don’t remember datin’ a quitter.”

#bo sinclair x reader x rusty nail #bo sinclair x reader #rusty nail x reader #slasher x reader #notsfw #✏️#🕯️#⛓️

128 notes · View notes

multi-kpop-fanfics · 1 year

Text

hoodie szn (but make it jolly)

pairing: non-idol!bf!Chan x fem!reader (ft. roommate!Soonyoung)

genre: fluff, smut, comedy

warnings: mentions of food, reader is implied to be petite, fingering, use of pet names, whipped chan but also a tease, exhibitionism? sorta?, soonyoung is a cockblock on accident, playful banter, mentions of food

word count: ~1.9k

summary: getting snowed in with your boyfriend isn't as bad as you think - you can put up some early decorations, steal your boyfriend's hoodie - did we mention getting fucked in that hoodie?

Author’s note: Hello! This is my entry for the snowventeen collab of @svthub! Be sure to check out the rest of the fics as well <3 Happy holidays!

p.s.: have this terribly made header with early 2010s wattpad style lmao

“The snow has already covered the biggest part of the city, the roads are closed off until further notice. Citizens are advised to stay at home and cut down on any unnecessary transports for their own safety”.

“Wonderful…”, you sigh and turn off the television, slouching back in the cushions of the couch. You definitely didn’t expect getting snowed in the day after sleeping over at your boyfriend’s apartment.

But then again, when was the last time you actually saw snow in the city? Might as well enjoy it, right?

You open the curtains once more to take a peek into the now white streets, just a handful of people walking around in heavy clothing, clutching the grocery bags in their hands with all the necessary supplies.

A chill runs down your spine and you realize that you’re still in your rather thin pajamas, which aren’t really the best option for such weather. You skip to Chan’s bedroom and start rummaging through his closet, hoping you’ll find something warm and cozy enough. Your eyes shine when you spot a stark white hoodie of his, although you’re a tiny bit disappointed when you notice that the hoodie is sleeveless.

“Eh, I’ll just put a shirt underneath”, you deadpan and open the drawer right below, where Chan keeps some of your shirts - those you forget whenever you sleep over, at least.

Your intuition is proven correct as you spot a long sleeved black shirt and you waste zero time in changing into the handpicked clothes.

You do a once-over at the mirror and notice your bare legs, suddenly feeling very cold down there. “Damn, I’m sure I’ve brought socks with me…”, you mutter and search through your bag again. “Aha!”, you exclaim when you finally find your pair of black thigh high socks - which, coincidentally, are Chan’s favorite on you (you definitely didn’t do that on purpose).

A few minutes pass and you’re found in the living room again, laying on the couch, scrolling on social media out of boredom. You sigh as you look at the posted pictures, decorated balconies and Christmas trees, hot beverages and gingerbread houses. You close your phone, putting it down on the table, whining in defeat.

You glance around and notice that Chan's apartment is very much ordinary and in desperate need of Christmas decorations. Well, might as well keep yourself busy with something, right?

You get up and start searching around the house to find any obnoxiously big boxes that could possibly contain said decorations.

Living room? Nope. Soonyoung's room? Out of bounds, not stepping in there. Chan's room? Not there either.

"Where the hell are they…", you mutter and go to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, when you see a box awkwardly sticking out right next to the washing machine. Nah, it can't be, you think but you nonetheless try to pull it out and lift it up, a quite familiar sound echoing from within.

"I swear to God…", you plop the box down and remove the tape, rolling your eyes as you see that there are, indeed, Christmas stuff in there.

"These damn idiots", you grumble as you take out the colorful lights, trying to detangle them from the mess they currently are in. You’re caught up in separating all the garlands and mistletoes when the door clcks open, revealing your boyfriend (who could easily pass for a snowman in his current state).

“Babe, I’m h- what the fuck happened in here”, Chan deadpans while taking off his snow-covered shoes, leaving them on the doormat.

“That’s what I said when I realized it’s literally two days away from Christmas and you still don’t have Christmas decor in your apartment!”, you point at the open box, filled with mistletoes, lights and tree charms. “If anything, it makes me think you forgot about Christmas”, you plop on the couch with a disappointed pout. “Hey, that’s too far!”, he points at you in protest, “We just didn’t have enough time to decorate with Soonyoung”, he puts his jacket on the hanger, “Classes have been running crazy these days, everyone seems to wanna learn dancing for all the holiday parties”, he ruffles his hair a bit.

"Anyways, what were you doing outside with that weather?" you ask him, “Didn’t you freeze your ass off?”. “Yeah, I kinda did, but I managed to find food!”, he proudly flexes the bag with the warm takeout in it. “Aww, Channie, you didn’t have to”, “Shut up, of course I had to - It’s not like I always have my girlfriend staying over - with my flatmate not being here as well! Talk about luck, huh?”, “Well, I don’t know if getting snowed in counts as luck, but I’m not saying no to it”, you laugh.

After placing the food on the counter, Chan takes a more detailed glance at your current outfit.

“Babe, is that my hoodie?”, Chan raises an eyebrow, realizing that the sole clothing article covering your body, is indeed, his hoodie.

“Yeah, it is - does it look good on me?”, you hop off the couch and twirl around in a cute way, but you don’t realize the hoodie rides up and it reveals part of your ass - along with your lacy white thong.

Chan immediately gets up and pulls you flush to his body, his hands smoothing over the fabric, yet his palms ending up on your ass, squeezing the soft flesh.

“Baby, it looks really good on you”, he smiles, his voice dropping a few octaves, sending a shiver straight down your spine.

“So good I wanna make you cum while you wear it”.

“Channie!”, you yelp at his words, skin flushing at the thought of your boyfriend doing such unspeakable things to you, “May I remind you that you don’t live alone?”, you reprimand him and he rolls his eyes, pressing a kiss on your cheek, a radiant grin on his face. “Y/N, Soonyoung isn’t even here today and he won’t be able to return until the roads are cleaned up”, “You’re so insufferable sometimes”, you roll your eyes at him, but he merely brings you closer to him, making you back step towards the couch.

The back of your legs hit the cushions of the couch and you plop down on it with a giggle, Chan caging you with his body, his radiant smile captivating as ever.

"Hi", "Hey, handsome", you reply and he leans down to kiss you, spreading your legs to give him space. Chan gets the message and slots himself between them, his hands now running over your legs and the thigh highs.

"You brought these on purpose, didn't you?", he tugs at the elastic band, making it snap against your skin. "Maybe", you let out a tiny yelp as his fingers make contact with your covered core, rubbing your pussy over your flimsy panties.

"Naughty girl", Chan bites his bottom lip and slides your thong to the side, letting out a groan when he watches your pussy glistening with your juices, his fingers itching to slide in. “Chan, come on”, you whine, your hand wrapping around his wrist to pull his hand closer to where you need him the most. “Gosh, you’re so impatient”, he chuckles and you glare at him, opting to close your legs out of spite, but he’s having none of it.

“Baby, don’t misbehave”, Chan pins your right thigh with his free hand, the other one finally touching your pussy, making you moan out loud, “You wouldn’t really want me to leave you high and wet like that, right?”, he grins. “N-No, I don’t want you to stop”, you mutter, bringing your hand over your mouth to muffle the rest of your moans threatening to spill from your mouth. “What was that, baby? I didn’t hear you”, he sing-songs with the most teasing lilt he can muster. “Fuck, Chan, stop teasing and give me your fingers, please!”, you whine again, but it turns into a loud gasp when you feel your boyfriend’s fingers sink into your soaked core, instantly clenching down on them.

“Damn, baby, you’re sucking them right in, so fucking greedy”, Chan’s breath tickles your ear, his lips barely touching that weak spot behind it. You mentally beg he abuses that spot with his mouth, just like the way he knows.

He starts pumping them in a rather fast pace, his thumb reaching to rub your swollen clit, eliciting moan after moan from your lips. It’s as if he reads your thoughts when you feel his lips suck on that spot behind your ear, your mouth forming in an ‘o’ shape. “Doing so well for me, sweetheart, so fucking well, fuck”, Chan moans, his own self-control wearing thin as his cock twitches with every little sound you make. “More, give me more”, you whine, your hand reaching to Chan’s crotch, palming his bulge over his pants, making him groan, his head leaning forward, forehead touching yours, breaths almost mingling together.

The both of you are completely lost in pleasure, your boyfriend’s fingers never stopping their motions, rubbing against your walls, that you completely miss the door clicking open, a different figure entering the apartment.

“Hello? Anyon- HOLY SHIT DUDE!”, the source of the voice snaps the both of you out of it, making you scream out loud.

“What the- Soonyoung?! What the fuck are you doing here?!”, Chan yelps as he notices his roommate standing frozen on the doorstep. He puts himself in front of you to somehow cover your body from the older man’s sight, in an attempt to save the last remnants of decency. “Um, I can still see her, uh”, he gestures vaguely towards your body and you hide your face under your boyfriend’s hoodie out of shame.

Chan takes a pillow and throws it towards his roommate, while trying his best to put your panties back on, ending up leaving you high and dry, against his will, mouthing an “I’m sorry” with an embarrassed expression.

“Can you at least explain why the hell you’re here? Weren’t you supposed to stay at Seungkwan’s tonight?”, “Well yeah, that was the plan, until a power cut happened and both of our phones died out so I had no way to text you”, he lets out an awkward laugh. “Let me get this straight - you left Seungkwan all alone in his house without power?”, you straighten your clothes, legs feeling a bit wobbly.

“In my defense, he managed to send a text to another friend of his to spend the night there before his phone died”, Soonyoung tries to excuse himself. “And you didn’t think about doing the same?”, your boyfriend grits out of annoyance. “Oh…Ahah, you are not wrong there, buddy”, Soonyoung laughs, making the two of you sigh in defeat, “Yeah, sorry about that, Y/N”. “You’re lucky you’re Chan’s friend and I love you, otherwise I would have decapitated you”, “Okay easy there, tiger”, he laughs and goes into his room to change. You feel a pair of arms around your waist and Chan turns you around, pulling you flush to his chest.

“I promise to make it up to you, babe, I swear”, he whispers against your lips, his hands fisting your (his) hoodie. “You better hold up to your word, mister, or I’ll strangle you with that ugly garland”, “Is that a promise”, “Threat would be a more suitable word”, you retort playfully.

“I’ll accept it either way”, Chan kisses you again, grinning widely.

Maybe getting snowed in isn’t so bad after all.

#svthub #svthub.collab #dino smut #dino fluff #dino crack #chan smut #chan fluff #chan crack #svt dino #lee chan #svt smut #svt fluff #svt crack #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen crack #seventeen

152 notes · View notes

wren-of-the-woods · 4 months

Text

2023 writing roundup

Thank you so much for the tag @bambirex! I posted 13 fics in 2023, mostly Witcher with a few other fandoms towards the end of the year.

January

Sometimes It Takes A Prison Cell

When Yennefer is thrown in a cell to await execution, the last thing she wants is a cellmate. She gets one anyway: one who is loud, annoying, and convinced that he will be rescued by a witcher. She expects his company to make her miserable. She does not expect it to slowly become bearable, to grow fond of him, or to want to help him — and the last thing she anticipates is that the rescue might actually happen. Or: Yennefer and Jaskier meet in a dungeon. It goes, all things considered, surprisingly well.

March

Spoons and Other Signs of Devotion

After the dragon hunt, Geralt finds that the spoon Jaskier gave him is missing. A story of kindndess, rebuilding, and love.

April

Of Magic, Meddling, and Mice

When Jaskier leaves his prison cell together with Geralt, Gordon tags along. This changes far more than one would think. (Gordon may not quite be the ordinary mouse everyone expects him to be.)

Love, Joy, and Kittens

When Geralt and Yennefer finally get a room at an inn after weeks of travel, Jaskier expects to spend a calm evening with his lovers and sleep in a real bed. This plan is derailed when they find an unexpected creature in their room. Or: In which Geralt, Yennefer, and Jaskier meet a kitten.

July

the greatest songs (are made up of unspoken words)

Radovid hears many songs of Jaskier’s over the years. Each one intrigues him more.

Words of Love

“I should warn you,” Jaskier said between kisses in the soft darkness of the shed, “That I know some… very interesting people. You may want to avoid meeting them.” “I’ve dealt with the Redenian court for decades. Your friends can’t be worse than that.” Five times Radovid meets Jaskier's friends and family, plus one time they are alone.

A New Work of Art

When they make camp in a beautiful forest, Yennefer and Jaskier are happy to sit by as Geralt draws — but the subject of his piece makes them far more emotional than they would have expected.

True Slug's Kiss

When Geralt finds himself entangled in a magical mishap, Jaskier is prepared to save him as usual. What he is not prepared for is the sheer strangeness (and sliminess) of the situation— nor the feelings that it will force him to reveal.

A Dance By The Sea

In which Jaskier and Yennefer go to a festival on the coast, and Yennefer reminds Jaskier that he is loved.

your gaze lights the fire

When a close encounter with Rience leaves Jaskier in desperate need of somewhere safe, he goes to the only person he knows will take him in: the prince he swore he’d never see again.

October

It's Just Like Falling Snow (I Am Above You, And I Love You)

Cassian dies. What comes next is far less lonely than he expects.

To Catch The Wind

In which Fëanáro begins to invent the Tengwar.

December

This Accident and Flood of Fortune

Lizzy and William are looking forward to a quiet date watching their sisters perform in Twelfth Night — but when they discover that George Wickham is waiting in the wings, they must use Lizzy’s wits and their combined nerdery to help William get his revenge. Or: In which Lizzy comes up with a scheme, and even Shakespeare would be proud of the chaos that ensues.

Tagging the people I collaborated with this year, @bloodsoaked-rainbows and @thequeeninyellowlace, and @ghostinthelibrarywrites @dreamofbecoming @jaz-the-bard @cherryjuicegf @damatris and anyone else who feels like it! <3

#wren talks #wren writes #i think i still have to add the last few of these to my masterpost lol #it's been a Very year for me and writing has been really hard sometimes but i still did a fair bit!

14 notes · View notes

o-nik · 8 months

Note

Re: Good Omens. Ace here, myself. I think a lot of allos see themselves represented by Aziraphale and Crowley. Because of this self-identification, they want to see their ship connect in a sexually intimate way.

As someone firmly on the ace spectrum, I'm happy that canonical C/A are ace and show their love for and connection to each other in non-sexually intimate ways. Their romantic attraction isn't from sexual lust but from emotional, intellectual, and experiential connection.

Crowley's kiss isn't of a sexual nature but an emotional one. He's expressing all his love and frustration and disappointment and anger. He's saying, "We could still be us, you idiot!" Otherwise, he wouldn't wait outside the bookshop for Aziraphale even after feeling rejected and rejecting Azi's forgiveness.

Anon you are so real for this.

Exactly. People tend to say that the only way that they can tell Crowley and Aziraphale are a "thing" is because of The Kiss. And I've seen some people say that if there's not gonna be a second kiss in season 3 that's homophobic. But I mean, they cannot be gay, if they don't have a gender. They are genderless beings. * But then saw people say that they must be sexual with each other, because of how rebellious they are, how they love the humans so much that they imitate them (drinking, eating, sleeping) etc. And on some level, I kinda agree. They do imitate humans. They sometimes do things humans would do. But do you know what some humans also do? For example, kill. Out of jealousy, crime of passion, you name it. But some of them do, so does that mean that they definitely will kill (not by accident!) someone or something? This example is a bit harsh, I'm very sorry for that😅 but hey, you see my point!

Just because some (!!!) humans do in fact engage in sexual activity with one another, doesn't mean they (Crowley and Aziraphale) do as well. Also, okay that they do human stuff. Aight, they do, yeah. But assuming that they do human stuff so they must have sex is like saying that sex is a sooo human thing that if you are asexual you're inhuman. Imo. And I think I can speak in all the ace people's name when I say 1. we've heard "sex is a human thing, it's a part of life, what are you a plant?" SO many times, we are TIRED of it, and 2. we are here, we are real, we are human, always have been and always will be. We are going to exist right until humanity will cease to exist.

And the fact that many ace people don't like the idea of them being together in a sexual way does not make us "PURE" as some people would say... And frankly, I still don't understand people (specifically allosexuals) telling that The Kiss made them canon. It did not. As Anon said, Crowley's kiss didn't happen because of sexuality, it was a cry for help. It was a way of saying "please don't leave me". It was a way of expressing his frustration, how desperately he needed for Aziraphale to change his mind. It was the first thing that popped into his mind, seeing all those people pressing their lips together to show how much they care for the other. He wanted to show Aziraphale too.

If I may say so, I wouldn't mind if there were a second kiss in the 3rd season, but I do NOT want them to be sexual in any way. But that's just my opinion^^ I do think that would not fit the whole of the show. But as I said, that's just my opinion.

Oh and the first sentence

"I think a lot of allos see themselves represented by Aziraphale and Crowley"

That's great! That's absolutely wonderful! But they still cannot erase the fact that they might not function the way they do! They might not be represented by them in EVERY way, but that's fine. I think, at least. For example, I do feel represented by Tim from Marble Hornets because of the memory loss things etc, but I know I don't feel represented by him because he has a completely different mental disorder than me.

I can kin a character without erasing things about them that I do not feel represented by. And you can too.

* I've also seen people say that homophobic reactions are unavoidable since they are played by two male actors. And to be quite honest, I don't really agree with that one... Yes they are played by Michael Sheen and David Tennant, two cis male people but the characters are still nonbinary. I don't know how to explain this... I will be very evil now and say: it's bad, everything is bad! They should have hired two actual celestial beings to play the roles! What not they should have hired God Themselves to be the narrator /Joking

Yeah:3

That's all I wanted to say<3 Have a great day!

18 notes · View notes

xsweetelegantdisasterx · 7 months

Text

Alright who's ready for the next installment of The Rampage fics?

Had to bring in 1/3 main biases to the party.

✒ Title: For Better or For Worse

✒ Summary: Likiya and Emi must weather the storm ahead. The precious memories are lost, and beginning anew is hard. With love and patience, will hers ever return?

✒ Genre: Fluff

✒ Pairing: Likiya/OC

✒ Word Count: 4,481

✒ Warnings: Car accident, memories lost.

✒ A/N: This one was a doozy, but here we are. Sorry it's so long. I was debating in making it a longer one or keeping it as a one-shot. Hope you enjoy. My man needs love and I am here to deliver.

➺ Taglist: @stardragongalaxy @rainisawriter @thistaleisabloodyone @simpforchuchu

Likiya was sitting down for the first time in what he felt like ages. The hospital floor was set ablaze with his pacing, right in front of her door. Rotating his ring, he became emotional to his core. He had every right to be, but the hug from his brother set him off. They both waited for the doctor to come out, to disclose either his highest hopes or his darkest fears.

Slowly, the wing of the hospital started filling with their closest friends, showing support at the time he needed most. When Likiya heard the door open, he shot straight up. The news that she was stable was relieving to him, but the fact that she wasn't waking up was bothersome. Once he got the okay that he could finally go in, he wasted no time. He just needed to be by her. The rain bounced off the sill as it was the perfect example of how he felt.

Emi was hooked up to wires, the beeping a constant. Likiya sat beside her, taking her hand into his. The doctor followed inside explaining the situation and her diagnosis. She was going to be okay, but she had gone into stress when she arrived there. The rain, along with other factors, caused an accident, which nearly took her life. They kept throwing the word “lucky” around, which was true, but it hurt his heart knowing he almost lost her. Elly brought in her things that were collected, placing them on the table beside her bed.

Elly desperately tried to find the words to help his brother, but sitting in silence was all he knew. Hours had passed with Likiya just soaking up time with her, he never took his eyes off of Emi. Anytime he felt the need to sleep, he’d move gently to stay awake. It was only when Elly told him to rest, that he’d stay up for them, that he finally found some peace in closing his eyes. The in and out activity of the nurses and doctors prevented him from sleeping fully, but he didn’t want to miss what updates they had on her.

Months had passed as he made the hospital their temporary home. Everyday, she’d improve a little more as it gave him more hope that she was going to pull through. He knew it. She was too stubborn and hard headed not to. The overflowing love and support they received from their friends, helped keep Likiya strong. During conversation with Elly and a few of his friends, Emi finally opened her eyes. She seemed confused of what had happened, but calm nonetheless. Elly grabbed the doctor to check her out, filling Likiya with an unsurpassed feeling of happiness. Emi scanned the room with a curiosity of what led her into the hospital, not fully recognizing anyone in there.

The doctor spoke with her, explaining the wreck, and how she had been in the hospital for some time now. It was uncertain that she knew her name or anything that distinguished who she was. All she knew was that Likiya had a soft voice and she dreamt of him often, feeling like she had met him somewhere before. His heart sank with the conversation, feeling knots in the back of his throat, and the pits of his stomach.

He left the room momentarily as Elly tried to muster up any words of encouragement. His little brother was in pain, and for the first time in their existence, he didn’t know how to help him.

“Kiya, slow down will ya?”

“Elly, she doesn’t know who I am. We’ve been together since we were kids. She’s had my heart all these years, but when she looked at me she didn’t know who I was.”

“You heard the doctor, she’s suffering from amnesia. I know you’re hurting Likiya, I understand that but there’s a chance she’ll regain that memory back. You heard them say temporary.”

Likiya plopped down against the wall trying to regain his composure. Elly was right. The doctor said she had a high possibility of regaining her memory. He was just worried for her, how she must have felt seeing Likiya, but seeing him as a stranger. He looked down at his ring, determined that he was going to make her fall in love with him again. He wasn't going to rush, but he was going to help her get over this. When he took the vows with her, he took it to heart.

“I need you to do me a favor. Please go to the house and hide our photos. I need a place to crash while she’s going through this transition.”

“Likiya, that’s your home too.”

“No, it will be overwhelming to her right now. I just need you to do this.”

“That is almost a decade of memories you two have built in your home Likiya.”

Likiya stood up firm on his decision. She would have the house to herself, at least until she got better. He lightly placed his hand on the door as he turned it opening it slowly. The doctor turned to him smiling, he was hopeful she would be fine, and that this was just temporary. It was just up to them to see to her healing process.

“I’m so sorry to be a bother to you mister, the doctor explained you’ve been by my side since the accident.”

Likiya smiled sweetly at her, his eyes sparkling. “You’re not a bother at all.”

Emi looked around the room, wishing she knew half of the people in there. Just like before, she was automatically drawn to Likiya. He stood out to her. The way he looked at her, made her feel calm and serene; like she was surrounded by soft flowing water. Little did she realize, that was her husband. When she tried to sit up, she lost her balance, but Likiya caught her. His touch was soft and warming. She felt a little overwhelmed surrounded by them but tried to remain calm.

After a few more trips from the staff, Likiya decided to leave for a brief moment, ushering everyone out to let her be alone. He texted Elly to check on the progress of the task, just needing some air. The rustling of the leaves left music to be admired. Many people walked past him, but he just had Emi on his mind. He felt some closure that she didn't freak completely out and throw them out of her room. Even prior to the accident, Emi was the collected one. Their dynamics were a little off, but that was what made them work.

Emi looked out the window lightly grasping her head, before she started searching for anything that gave her clues to whom she was; her purse sitting right next to her. She opened it up finding her license, taking in the new information. Her eyes were drawn to a tiny Polaroid, one like you'd find in a photo booth at the mall, hidden in her wallet. It was old, a little worn, but she could still make out Likiya and her in a loving embrace. She held it close, tightly but gently, scanning her thumb across the photo. She had definitive proof he was more than just some kind soul that helped.

When she heard footsteps approaching her door, she shoved everything back into her purse placing it on the tray before a gentle knock befell on her door.

“Come in,” she reached for her water.

Likiya and Elly stepped into the room.

“You weren't resting were you? We don't want to bother you.”

“Not at all, I'm sure I've done my share of resting. What is your name?”

“Likiya, and this is Elly my brother.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” she held out her hand to shake his.

Likiya shook her hand, fighting the urge to choke up. “Listen, if you want to rest we can leave, we understand.”

“No, please stay. I don’t want to be alone. I take it my family’s not coming or they’d already be here.” Her smile turned down quickly.

He nodded to her request, both sitting down on the lounger across the room. The room filled with silence, but Emi preferred that to being the only one in her room. She looked over at Likiya noticing he was lost in thought. It killed her seeing the photo, but not knowing how their lives intertwined completely.

“How are you feeling Emi?” Elly broke the silence.

“Oh, well, my head hurts a little, but the doctor said that would be normal. Is the other party okay, the one that was in the wreck also?”

“No, unfortunately they didn’t make it.”

“I see,” she slowly scanned the room.

Likiya met her gaze, before she broke it out of nervousness. It took everything he had to keep his smile. The doctor came back in wanting to check on her.

“Miss Emi, if everything goes well and your vitals stay the same, we can let you leave in the next couple of days.”

“Oh that’s great news,” she nodded casually.

Time came for the final checkup to ensure that she was on the complete mend. Just as before, Likiya stayed with her to the end. He wanted nothing more than to take her home and wait on her hand and foot, but it was still uncertain how she’d react. Regardless, he was going to see her home. Emi got dressed, slowly, wondering how the situation would be. Would Likiya go with her? Would he just drop her off? These were all valid questions that swam inside her head.

Once he got her to his car, he opened the door for her. She sat in carefully, placing her seat belt across her waist.

“Likiya, I found this photo of us in my wallet. How do we know each other?” she gave him the photo she kept.

He paused, seemingly blindsided. Elly’s words filled his mind to tell her the truth. That it would hurt her more in the end if she was lied to. He reached into his pocket as he pulled out a small bag with her name on it, gently placing it in the palm of her hand. She opened it up seeing a ring. Not just any ring, but a beautiful alexandrite wedding ring; surrounded by opals and diamonds. On the inside of the band, there was an engraving with her and Likiya's name on there, followed by a date.

“Are we married?” she placed it on her finger.

Likiya reached in his pocket, pulling out his license so she could compare names. Right there. She noticed they shared the same surname.

“We’ve been together for a while. You always stood by my side, even in my darkest days. That’s what I plan to do for you,” He put the car in drive slowly pulling out of the parking lot.

The drive home was silent. They didn’t even turn on the radio, just soaking up the presence.

“Likiya, we’re going home right?”

“Em, if this new information is overwhelming I can stay with Elly for a while.”

“I may not remember anything, but something feels wrong about making you stay somewhere other than our home.”

That sentence warmed his heart. They drove up the drive way as Emi was encapsulated by the sight. Everything was new to her. The flowers that lined the driveway, the house in itself, and the fact that she was a married woman. She looked down at her hand noticing the ring felt right on her finger. She may have had no recollection of the event, but the ring was right.

They were met with Elly walking down the stairs. He knew Likiya would be upset that he left everything in their prospective places, but hoped his anger would surpass. They grabbed her things making their way inside. Inside the foyer, pictures lined the walls of the two. Mostly goofy faces, but a wedding photo stood out to her. Emi approached it as she stood trying to imagine how that day was. Her hand lightly crossed her heart as she smiled. They looked utterly happy and made a beautiful couple.

Emi looked over at Likiya, thinking he was the most handsome when he smiled. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him.

“I'm so sorry I don't remember,” Her eyes swelled up a she dropped her head.

Likiya reciprocated the hug, hating that she was apologizing for something she had no control over. His arms swallowed her with love. He placed a kiss on her head, placing his hand under her chin to turn her face upwards towards his.

“We’ll be okay. Everything will be fine, I promise,” He wiped away her trailing tears.

Elly brought her a tissue to dry her eyes. “Sis, you have family, don't ever think that you don't.”

She nodded her head, taking Likiya’s hand into hers. “Can I have a tour of our home?”

He squeezed her hand gently explaining every room of the house. The kitchen was the most beautiful she had ever seen. It was an open concept, allowing guests to be in the living area and kitchen/dinning area at the same time.

“Was I at least a good cook?”

“You were, but we fought the most on who would prepare the food. I always won,” Likiya looked down at her.

“How so?”

A smirk curved his lips, silently telling her.

“Oh, ooh.” She felt heat lining her cheeks causing her to look away.

They proceeded through the house as it was welcoming; just like a big hug. There was love built in this house. It was felt with how put together everything was. She saw more photos scattered around the house, that solidified everything told to her up to that point. Beyond the living room were a couple of bedrooms. Emi opened the door to the main bedroom. It too, was put together nicely. They had a fireplace in the room, with low lighting lamps that set a calming nice ambiance to the area. The closet was huge, so visible to her that on one side were her items and on the other were his. Her fingertips skimmed across the clothes. She just wanted to see how soft they were. There was even a rack for her shoes. A smile crossed her face picturing her in these clothes.

They continued on with Likiya explaining the rooms and the history behind them. She was sad everything was unknown to her at this point, but she admired everything about the house. Elly decided to leave, wanting to give them time to catch up. Likiya pulled out ice cream and two spoons, for them to snack on.

“Whenever you felt lost or sad, you'd eat ice cream straight out the carton,” He slid a spoon to her smiling.

Emi grinned, chuckling a little. It was going to be interesting to find out things about herself that she didn't remember. She dug in with him. In a sense it was nice having Likiya there to help her discover herself.

“What happened that night? I told myself I didn't want to know. That it was too soon, but I do want to know.”

“The officers said the other people were driving under the influence, and it was raining hard. You were coming home to meet me so we could go to a dinner party. Hours had passed with no word, so I got worried and went looking for you. I saw the crash site after they cleaned it up, but by that time, they had already taken you to the emergency room.”

“I see. I just wish I could remember us. The photos tell me a story of two people madly in love.”

“That and more Emi. If ever this gets too overwhelming, I will leave with no hard feelings. I'm not going to push or do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“I don't want you to leave. This is unfair to you, that you're stuck with a wife that can't even remember our anniversary.”

“I'll remember for us,” he took a final bite of ice cream.

He cleaned up the kitchen as she sat watching him. Just from their brief interaction these past few days, she thought he was a great man. It was soothing to her that he was by her side. Likiya was a great caregiver in her eyes, with a strong character. It started to become late as she was getting tired.

“Go to bed darling, you need to rest. The bed is made.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“The couch is comfortable, or I'll utilize one of the other bedrooms. I have to work in the morning, but I'll get off by lunch. You sleep in as long as you need.”

Emi hugged him from behind as she made her way to the bedroom. Most of the night she tossed and turned thinking about everything. One thing was for certain, was that she wanted to remember. Remember their dates, his likes, what made him love her so much that he would suffer through this one-sided relationship at the moment. Her feet fell on the side of the bed as she stood up. Her mouth was beginning to get dry, she just needed water. Emi saw Likiya asleep on the couch, as she left the kitchen. She began looking for blankets to cover him up with. After a few minutes of searching, she found one, draping it over his shoulders. He looked peaceful, probably sleeping the most since her accident.

Quietly, she started talking to him. It didn't matter he was sawing down a forest, but she needed to confess to him.

“I promise that I will try everything in my power to make you not regret sticking by me, and caring for me. I'm so sorry I can't remember how wonderful of a guy you are, but I will work everyday to love you just as much as you do me,” she quietly cried feeling hurt for him.

Emi turned the TV off, deciding to go back to bed. She finally drifted off into sleep, after staring at the ceiling. The next morning when she woke up, the house was quiet. When she checked the clock, it was almost time for Likiya to be back. She made herself coffee sitting at the bar. The door opened to Likiya and Elly entering.

“Welcome home,” she took a sip.

“Did you sleep okay? I didn't want to wake you.”

“Mostly, how was work?”

“Not bad, but it was hard going.”

Emi smiled at him, causing him to smirk. She really liked that he smiled with his eyes. That's how she could tell it was a genuine smile. Not just a forced one. No, he had a smile that could melt the biggest iceberg. When he set his things down, he was met with her arms crossing around him.

“Yuck get a room,” Elly waved goodbye as he chuckled.

“I like his personality. Elly is a good guy.”

“Yeah well he's why we’re together.”

“Really?” Emi tilted her head in confusion.

“Yup if he never would have pushed me, I wouldn't have asked you out or been able to marry you. Emi you were way of my league, it was a miracle you liked me too.”

It was hard for Emi to believe that. Likiya showed that he was a catch from the moment she woke up. He walked out of the room briskly, with no word of where he was going. Emi felt discouraged. She didn’t say anything to her knowledge that could’ve upset him, but he left without a word. A knock disrupted her train of thought. She called for him a couple of times, with no answer, before she walked over opening the door.

Likiya handed her flowers, “Emi would you like to go out with me?”

Her cheeks rose, filling her face with a light pink tint. “Yes, I will.”

His execution was a little cheesy but it was sweeping her off her feet. He stood up closing the door behind her. “Wear whatever you’d like Emi.”

She smelled the flowers feeling like she was in a fairytale. If she didn’t know how he won her over to begin with, she did now. He was truly thoughtful and caring. She got dressed wanting to just go anywhere with him. As she put on her shoes, she started developing butterflies. Likiya hadn’t come into the room yet, she just figured that he was waiting his turn to get ready. Once she came down the stairs, she noticed him outside waiting. She walked to the car, him opening the door for her. He gently shut the door once she sat in.

They arrived at their destination, Emi a little confused on where they were. It was dark, and the night was still, but it was peaceful to her. Likiya stood next to her, admiring her beauty. Nothing in the world compared to her, he was sure to never let her forget that.

Emi intertwined her fingers with his, “Is this okay?”

He nodded dragging her beside him. The building they were at looked old and suspect, but she trusted his choice. Once inside, they approached the counter. The attendant traded off a pair of guns and vests for his debit card.

“What are we doing?”

“We’re about to test our marriage,” He placed the vest over her head, adjusting it for her.

Emi smirked, noticing she had the wrong shoes for this adventure. She kicked them off, knocking a couple of inches off her height. “I hate that it came down to this Kiya. How do we play?”

“It’s laser tag Emi. The object of the game is to shoot the vest and it knocks off points.”

“Oh okay,” Emi pointed the gun at Likiya and shot him causing the vest to blink. She giggled running off to find cover.

Likiya took off trying to cut her off and meet her around the course. Her heart was beating fast, unknowing of where he was or what his plan consisted of. She peeked around the corner to make sure her coast was clear. Just when she thought she was safe, she heard her vest go off.

“Okay I deserved that.” She took off again dodging and rolling away from him.

Likiya kept getting the upper hand on her, but she did get a few hits in. Finally, Likiya jumped out at her. Emi got startled just enough to drop her gun.

“Sir, please spare my life,” she raised her arms to surrender.

“What's in it for me?” He smirked, backing her up to the wall.

“A life-changing opportunity to be loved by me,” Emi smiled.

He stopped for a moment thinking, as he gave her the gun back, “Deal, but you can’t go anywhere; ever.”

Emi held out her hand to shake on it, awaiting his to finalize their agreement. Likiya grabbed her hand as they made their way back up to the front. She wrapped her arms around his, causing a smile to curve along his face.

Months had passed since her homecoming, Emi was coming to terms with the possibility of her never regaining her memory. Doctor’s appointment after doctor’s appointment ended the same way, an overwhelming amount of disappointment. They said the same things every time, leaving no indication of when, or even if, Emi would regain her memories. Slowly it started to wear on her. They left the doctor’s heading back to the house. The ride home was quiet, Emi just staring out the window mostly. She wiped tears that were trailing, frustrated this was her life.

Likiya pulled over noticing her crying. He pulled her to his chest as she sobbed, drenching his shirt. She held her emotions in for so long, during the recovery, she had finally reached her breaking point.

“I just want to remember. I want to be normal again, not a nuisance.”

“Emi,” Likiya lifted her chin, “there are many things you are, but you are not a nuisance. I took a vow with you; for better or for worse. I'm not going anywhere. I love you with all my heart, and if that means we have to make new memories, then we will spend our lifetime doing just that.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. The only positive she was gathering, was that he was going to stay by her side. As the minutes went on, she started to feel calmer. They continued on home, with her head beginning to hurt. When she stood up, she developed tunnel vision instantly. Before he could make it to her side, she dropped.

Emi woke up hooked to monitors once again. This time, she started freaking out. The nurses, doctors, and even Likiya rushed to her side to attempt soothing her. She thrashed about until she saw Likiya. Emi calmed down just enough for them to talk to her, inquiring why she was in the hospital.

“You fainted Mrs. Elliott, your husband brought you to the hospital.”

“Is that how the wreck happened?”

Likiya clutched at his heart. Before, she didn't bring up the wreck at all. Someone had to tell her about what happened. This time, it was different.

“The wreck was caused by the other person’s careless decision. You were not at fault, but that happened months ago ma'am.”

The doctor motioned for everyone to get back, so he could look her over.

“Who is that?” he pointed to Likiya.

“That's my husband, Likiya.”

“What's one thing you remember about him?”

“Well, he proposed to me during Hanami. It was absolutely beautiful and I’ll never forget just how wonderful it was.”

Likiya rushed over to Emi speechless. He placed her face in his hands, running his thumbs across her face. She intertwined his hands with hers, smiling.

“Honey you look distressed, are you okay?”

Likiya had no words for the joy his heart felt. Emi's memories were back. They never got to that point of their discussion during her recovery, so she wouldn’t have known that. His heart was at peace.

“How long before we can leave?”

“We’ll wait to see how this next hour goes, but I’m sure we can let her leave fairly soon.”

Emi pulled Likiya down to the side of her, wanting to hold him. He slid down getting to her eye level, lifting her chin up. Once she looked into his eyes, he had confirmation Emi was back to her old self. Emi grabbed his hand bringing it up to her lips as she placed a kiss on it.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You did, but not like you think. I love you brat.”

“I love you more Likiya.”

He pulled her into a long and slow kiss, grateful he had his wife completely back.

#cultofdionysusnet #the rampage from exile tribe #ldh #the rampage #likiya #the rampage fanfiction #my fanfic 👾

12 notes · View notes

veluvloqy · 2 years

Text

between us — mason mount

SUMMARY. mason never thought that he'd lose the love of his life so quickly. in a desperate attempt to feel close to you one last time, he contacts the only person he thinks will be able to help him. at the end of the day, he knows that he'll keep you alive if he keeps in his heart everything you lived together. “i love you forever.”

PAIRING. mason mount x female!oc.

GENRE. angst.

WARNINGS. the whole fic it's a warning itself. death is the main plot, read at your own risk. loosely inspired by 'hollywood medium'.

WORD COUNT. 2k+

AUTHOR'S NOTE. first one and there we go. wrote this a couple of weeks ago but never had the confidence enough to post it. feedback is always welcome! enjoy it. wish you a happy reading <3

mason still remembers the last kiss he gave you. it was a few minutes before you left on your way to work. for some reason, that day he didn't want to let you go. but he had to. he wrapped his arms around your waist, murmuring a soft 'i love you' and letting you go. he also remembers the last hug in which he felt you. it was the same morning but a while before finally getting out of be. he clung to your naked body, wanting to live there forever, and he felt like the luckiest guy on planet earth. mason remembers a lot of things, but he remembers you especially.

there are days when he just gets carried aways, days when he sits on the couch by himself, staring at a fixed point. he doesn't feel, he doesn't move, he just breathes and thinks. his mind inevitably takes him to the first day he met you under the cold london night, you were wearing a black dress and a thin jacket that didn't help prevent the wind from hammering your bones, your makeup was smudged and he could tell you were crying, and he felt the piercing need to protect you until the end of the time. he also often remembers the first date he took you on, the first kiss he gave you, the first time he made love to you, the first vacation you shared together. looking at rocky, the dog he gave you for one of your anniversaries, he perfectly recalls your dazzling smile and your genuine happiness when holding him in your arms for the first time. he remembers the good times, but also the bad. like that time you confessed to him all the suffering you went through as a child, or that day he found your curled up in bed and crying because of the hate amount and death threats you received for being his girlfriend. he remembers everything, and it torments him.

sometimes, when his phone rings, he's afraid it'll be that call again. he's afraid to answer and be told that you were involved in a car accident, and unfortunately you didn't make it. he's afraid to feel again that pain that he felt when a ringing filled his ears and he dropped to his knees on the cold ground, screaming and crying for you. other times, he hopes to answer and that your sweet voice will be heard on the other end of the line, wishing him luck before one of his games, telling him how much you miss him, confessing your love. but your calls no longer come, and your voice is no longer heard.

and although you don't call, his mates do. he receives daily messages from phil, from jack. ben makes sure he stays healthy and declan visits him every day to take care of him. even though he's hurt by the death of his best friend, he knows that there's still something to fight for on this side. he doesn't do much, he just stays by mason's side because he knows that's what he needs. he knows how much you meant to him, and he also knows that no care compares, but he stands strong and encourages him to keep going.

if he could switch bodies with you, he would. he'd give his life for you.

the day of your wake was the most tedious and heartbreaking he lived. you were there, inert, empty, lifeless. your hands were the same ones that ran over his face and body every day, only now they were a little colder. you eyes were closed and you were submerged in eternal sleep, your face was carefree. the arms of his siblings were around him and his parents stayed by his side the entire time. every condolence he received shattered his heart. and he stopped recognizing where he was when your body was buried.

“dec,” mason calls from the living room. declan had arrived about an hour ago and, seeing that his friend hadn't had lunch yet, he decided to fix him something quick. mason didn't get better, he believes he never will, but he slowly began to reconnect with the people closest to him, especially declan, the person who has been there though the ups and downs. you loved him, he was like a brother to you. and for mason, having him was having you. “come.”

“uhm, i'm having a couple problems here, mase.”

“okay, it doesn't matter,” he insists. “just came.”

declan turns off the burners and quickly wipes his hands with a damp cloth before walking over to his best friend. “well, what is it?”

“i- uhm, i-” mason stumbles over his words. he doesn't know how to express himself properly, you were always there to read him. but he knows he should tell this to his best friend. he knows that he must do this. “i-i contacted a m-medium.”

declan's speechless. he knows that he shouldn't criticize his friend or question his choices, he knows how desperate he is to be with you one last time, but he never thought that he'd come to this point. “a what?”

“a med-”

“yeah, i heard you the first time. mase, are you sure?”

“dec,” mason whispers. “i need it.”

“and i understand, bro. but what if they play with your feelings? what if they take advantage of your situation to get money from you?”

“no one can take more from me than what i've lost.”

declan sighs. this is not the time to make his friend feel bad. “are you sure?”

“totally.”

“fine. when will they come?”

“friday.”

waiting until friday was no easy task for mason. he felt anxious, nervous, tense, scared. he knew he was crazy to do what he did, what he was going to do, but he also knew that it was his last chance to communicate with you in any way. he needed to tell you many things, too many. from his return to training to how empty the house feels without your presence. he wanted to hug you like it was the first time, touch your face and feel your perfume again. he was desperate and, certainly, he doesn't act logically under pressure. he knew that he couldn't bring you back to life, but he can try to tell you that he loves you one last time. that's why, when the day comes, he almost feels faint.

mason is sitting across from tyler, the lovable blonde-haired young man who could easily be his age. his hands are sweaty and his throat is dry, but the comforting aura tyler exudes helps him a bit.

“mason,” the boy in front of him speaks, ”have you ever been read before?”

“uhm, no,” he replies nervously.

“why have you decided to do this, mason? if i may know.”

“yeah, uhm, i-i just wanted to t-try to connect with my g-girlfriend one last time.”

tyler looks at the small coffee table that separates him from mason and jots a photo on it. “she was your girlfriend?”

“y-yes,” he says, blinking repeatedly to keep the tears that formed in his eyes from falling.

“she was adorable, right?” seeing mason nod, tyler continues. “did you love her?”

“she was the light of my life.”

tyler doesn't respond and begins to doodle on his notebook. mason watches him, nestled in his world and breathing quietly. his pen goes back and forth, tracing deep, abstract lines.

“i feel this calm energy that's a-able to calm the most turbulent waters, she lived calmly,” tyler begins before moving his pen again. “she-she's very calm, mason, but she also has this feeling that something's preventing her from going totally calm. you.”

“i-i'm not ready to let her go.”

“and that's totally understandable. she also wants to tell you a lot of things.”

“as which?”

tyler moves his pen again, each line he draws making a particular sound and mason follows his movements with his eyes. “she... she wants you to always remember what happened between you.”

“between us?”

“you guys had a lot of history together,” mason nods. “i see this symbol. with wings. a comforting color, a calm color.”

“a butterfly,” mason says, no longer trying to hide his pain. “it's a butterfly. she loved butterflies.”

“she knows. she knows you're hurt. but she wants you to heal.”

once the session is over, after mason thanks tyler for his services and politely escorts him to the door, he flops down on the couch. thousands of thoughts run through his mind and he feels emotionally drained. tyler was right, on everything. it was as if he knew you, as if he knew who you were and what you were. he wants to cry, scream, curse, bring you back. but he can't. there are so many things he wants to do and he can't. but he can do one thing: forget. not forever, just for a minute. he decides to sleep. and, in the process of trying to forget, he remembers you.

“mason!” you yell, running through the green park with roky following in your footsteps. “catch me!”

“be careful, honey,” he laughs as he starts running after you all over the place.

it doesn't take him long to catch you, he's faster than you. you both fall into the cool grass with laughter with roky barking. mason looks at you, you're perfect. he can't believe that someone like you is with someone like him. he has spent many nights looking at your sleepy figure wondering how he did it, how he got so lucky. but he doesn't like to tempt fate and concludes that he deserves it, that he deserves you. he loves you, and he'll always protect you.

“mason?”

“tell me, love,” he murmurs. he has you in his arms, face to face, with your forehead on his chest and roky at your feet.

“never forget this.”

“what thing, precious?”

“this. us. everything that happens and will happen between us.”

mason wakes up with a start. he's no longer on his couch, nor in his house. he's in the park, alone. the hammocks sway back and forth and the grass in freshly cut. the sun's rays hit his face and he has to put a hand on his forehead to try to focus his sight. and there, in the distance, he sees you. with a loose cream dress and your bare feet, hair in the wind as if you were pocahontas, approaching him.

“mase.”

“my love,” he says with tears in his eyes. he hugs you tightly, knowing it'll be the last time.

“mase,” you repeat softly, almost in a whisper, as he hides his face in your neck. “mason, you must move on.”

“i can't. i don't want to.”

“but you must,” you break away from the hug and cup his face in you hands. “you must do it. you must fulfill everything we dream of. you must meet someone, get married, have a family. you must win more trophies, score more goals. you have to do it, mason. for me.”

“i don't want to forget you,” his voice breaks and his eyes are full of tears that this time he does let fall, the image of him at his most vulnerable will always belong to you.

“oh, mason, baby,” you cry. “you won't forget me. i'll be in each of your thoughts, in each of your moments. when you wake up, i'll be there. when you go to sleep, i'll be there. i'll live in you forever, mason. you have me here,” you finish pointing at his heart.

“it's a hell.”

“it is. but it's life. remember me in every butterfly, love, and take care of roky for me,” you hug him one last time, knowing that this was necessary to live peacefully in eternity. and you walk away from him slowly. he must do it. he has to.

“(y/n)!” he yells loudly. his silky hair is now shorter but just as beautiful, the brown in his eyes looks a little off be he picks up a bit of his characteristic glow as he says his next words. “i love you! forever!”

you smile. you'll take a good care of him from above. “i love you, mason.”

and just like that, you turn to dust, a stagnant imagine in memory. and just like that, mason wakes up.

“forever,” he murmurs to himself. “i love you forever.”

185 notes · View notes

chainoftalent · 2 years

Note

Shuichi: D, X, Y!

I’ll add the full ones here so you won’t have to look for them

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

People who just tell me the full ones my beloved

Shuichi with D Z Y

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yeah, if he thinks it'll make his sweetheart feel good or just be a form of pampering/coddling, he'll do it. He prefers when everything's sweet and nice and if asked nice enough will tone it down a bit, but if his sweetheart refuses his needs to coddle and adore he will make them indulge him. Refuse to be hand fed? Expect him to pinch your nose until you gasp for breath and he shoves the spoon in. All while tutting about how he just wants to help you, and that you don't need to do anything anymore, just let him handle it, stop fighting sweetheart, those fools out there really got you so convinced you have to do everything alone? Don't worry, I'll remind you how to be cared for sweetheart...

Dude even replaces your wardrobe into something softer and cuddly, it's creepy! Hope you weren't too attached to jeans or anything else rough/uncomfortable!

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not on purpose, however with his inability to accept fault for either of them and his intense inclination towards coddling there's a decent chance of him doing it on accident. It'd take him a while to notice though, and even then when he does he'd basically go "they're just sleeping<3" and ignore it, same if you died in his care! He just, mentally can't take it and will excuse it as anything but what it is.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

They pine for a few months I feel, trying so hard to get up the courage and actually impress you. However as he keeps failing he gets more and desperate, eventually he starts to blame the world, as if its conspiring to keep you away. From there its a simple leap to if the world won't let me have you i won't let the world have you and then into the basement you go, to be sheltered away from that cruel cruel world who doesn't want you to be happy and sweet.

#yandere danganronpa #yandere #yandere shuichi saihara #yandere shuichi #shuichi saihara #x reader #yandere alphabet #yandere ndrv3 #ndrv3 #yandere drv3 #drv3 #chainoftalent

27 notes · View notes

insomniacomplex · 10 months

Text

Once more another year has passed by, and as much as it feels like I'm in a time warp with life watching everything zoom by, I can still have a moment where you pop up somewhere... Some way... And everything just freezes. Time. Emotion. Desire. Ambition. Everything just comes to a screeching halt. I can't tell if I'm looking back at my accident scene that's frozen in mid accident or what because the desire is still there for you. Do I think you'll pop up out of nowhere one day, no. Would it be nice? It would be better than winning the lottery for me because there's absolutely no price tag I could associate with being able to hold you in my arms again. I know you're happy, and truthfully, I'm so happy that out of all my prayers I've ever thrown out, that was the one that got answered. You deserve your happiness, especially with everything that you went through. Am I selfish that I'm not the one giving that to you, you're damn right I am. I will have to admit that I found my way on your profile by accident, and by accident because I didn't think our conversation was still there. I'm happy to see that you're able to genuinely smile now. Truthfully, I can say that you did it.... You found what you were looking for. Gorgeous, I am so happy for you that you found it. And once this realization hit me, it was almost as if a burden lifted. It was no longer my calling in life to be the person that I needed to be... for you, because you have that person now. After rereading the last conversation we had, it all but assured me that I did not hold anything back and tried my best to get my closure... It's just taken me 5 years later to finally accept that closure. And today it finally clicked as to why everything with you hit me so hard... You were in my life for just about 10 years, it all makes so much sense to me now.

I don't think I'll ever be able to get over losing you. I can accept it yes, but getting over it is something completely different.

*sigh* I'm afraid this might actually be the last one gorgeous. The fire that I so desperately kept alive, guarded, and treasured is all but embers now. There is no flame anymore, but it would only need some kindling to get it going again.

My door and heart will never be closed off to you. Thank you for some of the greatest times I've ever gotten to experience with another person. May you sleep peacefully and have a joy with happiness that is unrivaled.

Until we find each other again, I will always miss you more than you know and more than words could ever describe...

Love you Gorgeous, Happy Birthday

7/3/2023 @12:18a

2 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

hello my master, big sister, hannah smith and hottie-cutie! who's here?? i'll let you figure it out yourself. i didn't actually mean anytime is love letter time, firstly i even wanted to say love time but... ok let it be love time. 'idk if you’d care for it' OK you catched me. i've nver seen the sandman and long time ago i was scrolling your blog and just ??who's this man??? tbh, i've read one of your one-shots with him. that's how much i love your talented writings. and to be reeally honest. i'm watching hotd only now... and i don't know how am i supposed to end it till my free subscribe is over with this academic competition, my problems with focusing attention, this british accent and no english subtitles... when i'd seen your post saying you only watched hotd to write fics with daemon after reading them i was like TT yes girl TT feel you sm TT relaterelate TT am i sorry? no way. am i ashamed? either no. is this situation so amusing but also sad i want to cry (and do)? absolutely. and i find it so amusing and desperate that you have THAT much of matt smith reqs TT like yes i'm the same, i'm a slut for him too but?? it's a lot. just wish you some nerves and good luck hdjskdh i'm so honored to be your cat thank you TT meow meow ig AHKFKJN the russian blue cats TT they're pretty expensive but one day when i'm a billioner... thank you for the research!! i appreciate your efforts!! and i already believed you but you proved your hotness! 1000% certified hottie-cutie! jinjin's name has such a story wow. ofc i know jinjin and i'm sorry for your sister.. good luck for her too. your cats are adorable! i'm glad jinjin is better now. hope they'll just be happy cats as they deserve. thank you for taking care of jinjin, it's a really important thing. i love these cuties so much!! give them 100 hugs from me pls (99 hugs for you too<з) i'm sorry for mochi. he's definately in a better place right now. i believe in faith so the thought that god sent you jinjin to ease your sorrows... love is love and love deserves to exist. no matter what form. so ig god really blessed you. sorry for being so humorless (more then usually). it's a long and pretty sad story. it's a warning. i had a cat in my childhood. i've said i'd been obsessed with cats since i was 0. but my mum have an allergy so when my parents gifted me a cat for the New year?? i was in love instantly. a couple of years later an accident whe she ran away dor 2 weeks and my mom's (pretty cruel and improper) methods of education made her more... wild? aggressive? certainly mentally ill (if it's a term). and 5 years later she's been aggressive and hissing towards my mom so she just said we need to leave her outside. next to the shelter. i begged her to if not examine her at the vet to cure her then at least put her to sleep?? she said it was inhumane. inhumane. i'd put her there with my own hands. i left her myself. i consider myself a real monster. sometimes try to excuse myself with reminding myself i was 11 but?? i left her. it is my biggest love in my whole life. ig now i'm sublimating with fics, trying to feel that warm again. (thank you for you love!!) sorry if it made you upset. sorry it's so long and has this awful ending. take care!! love you <з

hello baby <3

LOVE LETTER TIME

hello my master, big sister, hannah smith and hottie-cutie!

💀💀💀💀💀 DEAD hannah smith ????? SCREAMING THROWING UP THROWING MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WHAT IS THAT SOUND LIKE SOME BASIC WHITE GIRL NAME WERES THE SPICE MATT PLS I AM NOT TAKING YOUR LAST NAME ONCE WE ARE MARRIED KASHFLAHSFAS

who's here?? i'll let you figure it out yourself. i didn't actually mean anytime is love letter time,

huh????

who's here? you're here? im so confused my brain cannot figure this one out. ok not every time is love letter time.

firstly i even wanted to say love time but... ok let it be love time.

OH OK THATS WHAT YOU MEAN OK SLAY PURR REAL TRUE

'idk if you’d care for it' OK you catched me. i've nver seen the sandman and long time ago i was scrolling your blog and just ??who's this man??? tbh, i've read one of your one-shots with him. that's how much i love your talented writings.

HSHSHHSHSHHSSH THATS FINE. im honored you still read it albeit not knowing him/the show HHHAHAHH

and to be reeally honest. i'm watching hotd only now... and i don't know how am i supposed to end it till my free subscribe is over with this academic competition, my problems with focusing attention, this british accent and no english subtitles...

omg i felt that, watching with no subtitles is hard, even though i understand British accents lol, alSO NOT KNOWING HOW TO END WATCHING A SHOW i literally was so idek the right word, but i guess overwhelmed by the fact *spoiler?* all of rhaenyra's kids were bastards i was like AINT NO WAY AINT NO WAY AINT NO WAY then daemon laughed at the funeral T_T wild

when i'd seen your post saying you only watched hotd to write fics with daemon after reading them i was like TT yes girl TT feel you sm TT relaterelate TT am i sorry? no way. am i ashamed? either no.

SO TRUE SO RELATABLE SO REAL AHAHAHH LITERALLY ALL MATT SMITHS FAULT theres something about him that should be illegal

is this situation so amusing but also sad i want to cry (and do)? absolutely.

wait why does it make you sad????? it's not that deep??? IMMA BONK THAT LOSER MATT SO HARD FOR MAKING YOU SAD WHY ARE YOU SAD???

and i find it so amusing and desperate that you have THAT much of matt smith reqs TT like yes i'm the same, i'm a slut for him too but?? it's a lot. just wish you some nerves and good luck

wishing me nerves??? HAHAAH OK??? HAHAHAH that means you want me to be nervous HAHAHAHA but im sure you mean the opposite so i'll take it. it is so funny i have all these matt smith reqs T_T LOLOLOLL #the collective matt smith brain rot

hdjskdh i'm so honored to be your cat thank you TT meow meow ig AHKFKJN the russian blue cats TT they're pretty expensive but one day when i'm a billioner... thank you for the research!! i appreciate your efforts!!

HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHHAAHAH SO REAL KITTIES ARE EXPENSIVE LOL MEOW MEOW MY KITTY IM GLAD TO DO A QUICK SEARCH FOR YOU

and i already believed you but you proved your hotness! 1000% certified hottie-cutie!

true purr yass

jinjin's name has such a story wow. ofc i know jinjin and i'm sorry for your sister.. good luck for her too. your cats are adorable!

thank you my cats are everything and vvv adorable. yeah jinjins name has a story AHHAHAHAAH my sister is fine she's just dramatic its not that deep

i'm glad jinjin is better now. hope they'll just be happy cats as they deserve. thank you for taking care of jinjin, it's a really important thing. i love these cuties so much!! give them 100 hugs from me pls (99 hugs for you too<з)

THANK YOU FOR THE HUG HUG HUGS!! I KISS YOU BACK

i'm sorry for mochi. he's definately in a better place right now. i believe in faith so the thought that god sent you jinjin to ease your sorrows... love is love and love deserves to exist. no matter what form. so ig god really blessed you.

so real so true. mochi is 100% in a much better place now and that's what comforts me most is that he is no longer suffering. I do also believe God sent jinjin to me T_T im luv him

sorry for being so humorless (more then usually). it's a long and pretty sad story. it's a warning. i had a cat in my childhood. i've said i'd been obsessed with cats since i was 0. but my mum have an allergy so when my parents gifted me a cat for the New year?? i was in love instantly. a couple of years later an accident whe she ran away dor 2 weeks and my mom's (pretty cruel and improper) methods of education made her more... wild? aggressive? certainly mentally ill (if it's a term). and 5 years later she's been aggressive and hissing towards my mom so she just said we need to leave her outside. next to the shelter. i begged her to if not examine her at the vet to cure her then at least put her to sleep?? she said it was inhumane. inhumane. i'd put her there with my own hands. i left her myself. i consider myself a real monster. sometimes try to excuse myself with reminding myself i was 11 but?? i left her. it is my biggest love in my whole life.

oh no lovie. i feel for you. we have similar feelings like when i wasnt with mochi is his last moments. sure we both regret them, but in that moment that's all that we could do. its so hard to forgive ourselves for it. i cant tell you to just forgive yourself and move on, because honestly , have i done that? but what's done is done and tormenting ourselves for what should have been will not help. i just like to think that at some point, my cat knew i loved him. i'm sure the same could be said about your kitty. i give you a hug. a waaaarm hug

ig now i'm sublimating with fics, trying to feel that warm again. (thank you for you love!!) sorry if it made you upset. sorry it's so long and has this awful ending. take care!! love you <з

its alright. mourning is a natural process. i in fact ate lunch after crying and felt ??? reinvigorated???? and i saw my face in the mirror ??? and i was like ??? DAMN IM HOT EVEN AFTER I CRY ??? SLAYYYYYYYY it's ok my love kiss kiss love you

xxx

#anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #daemon x reader #modern!daemon nonnie

3 notes · View notes

sissytobitch10seconds · 2 years

Text

Safe and Sound

Fandom: Stranger Things Summary: Will has been through a lot, as has his pack. The Party makes sure to take of him and each other once they get the chance. Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, mentions of sickness, mentions of death, PTSD, trauma, and mentions of kidnapping/imprisonment Word Count: 2,103 Ship(s): Will Byers & Lucas Sinclair & Mike Wheeler & Dustin Henderson

Archive link!

A/N: So this is the first Stranger Things fanfiction I have ever written. I actually got back into Stranger Things completely by accident because I stumbled across an "I didn't know I was pregnant" style fanfic while looking for something in a completely different fandom. I didn't even know that it was being renewed for another season, lol. I thought that I would move this up on my upload schedule because of the fourth season, though. I'm not super happy with this fic since it's a bit of a character study and less of a sweet fluff scene like I wanted it to be. I hope that it still reads well and that you all enjoy it. Thank you all for even checking this out! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Everyone that saw them always said that they were too young to really be in a pack, but their families were well aware that they were. In the eyes of the law and the general public, they were still pups that would be members of their parents’ packs until they finished going through puberty. Despite that, they were still as close as a pack and had already developed a hierarchy. Mike was the pack leader, with Lucas and Dustin almost always snapping at each other to try and figure out who was the second. Will was happy with being the bottom of the pack because he was able to get affection from the rest of the pack without having to do all the work of keeping them from arguing. The Party spent a lot of time together already as they played DnD and did basically everything else with each other, so it wasn't uncommon to find them curled up in a big nest in the basement after a campaign. When asked, they said that they did it so that they could make up for hurt feelings and get some much needed sleep.

The past couple days had been rather tumultuous to say the least. Thinking that the heart of their pack, their only omega member, had died was absolutely devastating. It was made worse by the fact that they hadn't had their regular pack time to cuddle in the nest because they had to play for so long, and the new sort-of addition to their pack in the form of El. Adding a new member to a pack was always awkward and difficult, but for them it was multiplied based purely on the fact that she was also an alpha in a pack with two other alphas. There had been a moment of relief when they discovered that the heart of their pack was still alive, but it was diminished when they realized that he was suffering. The fighting and scrabbling to get him back that ensued just served to distress them more. After that, they had to deal with their parents desperately wanting them to stay at home where they could be safe while each of them fought to get to sit in the waiting room so they could be there for Will when he woke up.

It was almost two weeks after they had found him in the Upside Down before Joyce felt comfortable letting her son out of her sight. Mrs. Wheeler had to promise a thousand times over that she could keep a close eye on the pack while they were over there, and eventually the omega conceded because she could see how much her son needed it. The Party didn't even bother trying to play a campaign, not that Mike had set one up in the first place. Will was the last to arrive and head down into the basement, since everyone else's parents weren't aware of what really transpired that night.

"Guys?" the omega called out as he took the stairs one at a time to descend into the basement.

"Will!" Mike beamed as he turned to face the omega. "C'mere, we've got some things ready."

The youngest member of their pack hurried down the rest of the way so that he was standing in the frigid air of the basement. "Are we nesting?"

"Do you want to nest? You're the best at it," Dustin said. Betas only naturally got the urge to nest when they were pregnant, and alphas only got the urge to nest when they were the sole caregivers of pups. Omegas nested every time they went into heat, when they were pregnant, and when they or their pack was in need of comfort.

"Yeah!" Will hurried over to them. He picked up the blanket that was on the top of the messy stack. He brought it up to his nose and smiled as he could pick out each of his three other packmates. He missed them so much that he couldn't describe it. They may not have officially been a pack (their pack glands were completely unbroken), but they were bonded to each other in a way that none of the other kids their age were. "Do any of you want to help me?"

"If you want us to help then we will. You’re the best at this so you’re the boss," Mike shrugged. Lucas nodded in agreement next to him. None of them could stop their smiles as the omega began to work on preparing their pack nest.

He started with some of the huge thick blankets that were specifically used just for the base of a nest. Once he had them in a vague circle, getting Dustin to help him weave the two massive, heavy blankets together so that it was large enough to fit all four of them, he began to layer other blankets over the top. He made sure that every bit of the rough base was completely covered. Will carefully chose the blankets that he used for the covering, pausing to feel each one against his pack gland and a few on his more sensitive mating gland. After he had covered the base blankets, he began to spread the pillows around the ground since they weren't on a mattress or anything remotely soft underneath the nest. After that, he began to pile the softer blankets around so that everything was perfect and smelled exactly like their pack.

Will then turned around so that he was looking at their pack leader. "I know we don't have anything that really smells like El since your mom washed the fort, but I hope this is still good," he fidgeted nervously as he spoke.

"Will, I know that you didn't meet her. She couldn't even really be a part of our pack without all of us being here and figuring out the dynamic and stuff," Mike soothed as he reached out and touched the omega's shoulder reassuringly. "Why don't we get into the nest and really relax?"

The omega calmed a little bit. He climbed over the edge of the nest and then reached for Dustin to climb in as well. The beta went quickly, laying down so that he was in the middle of the nest. Will laughed before he turned around so that his head was resting on Dustin's shoulder. Mike got in and laid down on the other side of Dustin so that his legs were bent over the edge of the nest and his head was resting on the beta's stomach. Lucas was the last person to get into the nest and it took him a moment to settle down with his left side pressed with Will's right.

"I missed this," Mike sighed. "I'm glad that we can do it again."

"I promise I'll never go missing again," Will joked. He let out a small frown as the pack went quiet instead of laughing like he was expecting him to. They moved slightly so that they were pressed tighter to him like someone was going to steal him away if they didn't. "Sorry," he whispered.

Lucas placed his forehead on the back of the younger boy's head. "It's not your fault. We just really want to make sure that you never have to go through something like that again. We're a pack, and we have to stick together."

Dustin and Mike let out small noises of affirmation. After a little while they were able to calm down so that they were cuddling like they had been before everything had gone down. There were a couple of arguments about people's arms being in the wrong spot or a blanket that someone wanted over another, but nothing that meant they got out of the nest. Despite the fight that Mike and Lucas had, despite everything Will had gone through, despite the fifth member that was almost added to their pack, it was almost like the before. They were able to fall into their old patters in such a way that Will felt well and truly safe.

It had been about two hours when Mike spoke up, "Do you guys want something to eat? My mom left some french toast from the morning in the fridge that I could bring down."

Will opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by his stomach growling loudly for him. The rest of the Party laughed while their leader got up and carefully exited the nest. Dustin and Lucas shifted a little bit so that they could keep their omega warm without the other member of their pack. Will had been so cold for so long when he was in the Upside Down that he couldn't stand it now.

Mike walked up the stairs as quickly as he could. He had kind of made up the offer to go get something so that he could get a break from his pack. He loved them all to death, so much that he would do incredibly stupid things for each of them, but he was struggling with some emotions that he couldn't quite place. He opened the fridge and began to dig around to find the food he had offered to get.

"Hey dork," Nancy said, knocking her foot against the doorframe into the kitchen so that he knew she was there. The older alpha peaked into the fridge and then took out the plastic bag containing the french toast out. "This what you looking for?"

"Yeah, thanks Nancy," he smiled. They hadn't gotten along well before the incident because they were both alphas and he was beginning to come into his instincts as puberty began. Nancy had also been fighting with her nuclear family pack while she tried to find people to fill her own. After realizing that they both could have died, they had gotten a lot closer and not fought with each other the normal amount for siblings. Mike paused, opening his mouth to say something before he let it close. Nancy grabbed a drink from the fridge before she let it shut and made a move to leave the kitchen. "Nancy?"

"Yeah?" she asked as she turned to look at him.

"Am I a bad pack leader?" he looked up from the bag in his hands.

"Oh, Mike," she whispered. She set the soda down on the counter and then gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. "You're an amazing pack leader and you guys haven't even pack bonded yet. Why would you think that you aren't?"

"Because I let Will get stolen. Lucas and I got into a fight and even though I know the rules of the party and he knows the rules of the hierarchy we still refused to make up with each other. And then El got… I don't know. She's gone too. I didn't even really get to bring her into my pack and I promised that I would protect her and make sure that she was okay. I wasn't able to," he scowled.

"Sometimes you just can't," Nancy shrugged. "You did your best to make sure that you got Will back, and you did all that work to find his favorite nesting blankets today. You're even getting them food. You're a wonderful pack leader and you take good care of your pack."

He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Thanks," he wrapped his arms around her in a brief hug.

"Of course, dork. Now go enjoy your pack," she shoved him towards the basement.

He let out a small laugh before he hurried down. Mike was unable to stop the smile that formed on his face when he smelled them. He was met by cheers once they were finally able to see him coming down into the basement. They all moved around so that they were able to fit him while they doled out their snack. He may have not felt completely confident about his abilities to lead the pack and keep them all safe, but he felt a bit more confident than he had before he spoke with his sister.

"I wish that we could just stay together forever," Will yawned.

"You have a nest at home, don't you?" Lucas asked, his mouth full.

The omega whined and leaned into Dustin's side while he tried not to fall asleep. "It's not the same. This one is better because it has you guys. I like spending time with you guys."

Mike felt his heart swell in his chest and a proud scent leaked from him immediately. He had made his pack happy and comfortable.

12 notes · View notes

madam-wakefield · 4 months

Text

Open when... Chapter 11

AO3 Link FF Link

Summary:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 When a few years into their relationship Bernie is asked to go back to the army and deploy Serena isn’t sure how she’s going to get through the nine months without her girlfriend. What she doesn’t expect is for it to be her girlfriend who has the perfect set of surprises to get her through both the best and the worst days. Canon divergent - Elinor lives (well actually the accident never happens), Raf lives, and Cameron isn’t a total ass! The staff of AAU also probably didn’t all work on there at the same time in canon but do in this! The fic is already fully written with the first few chapters having already been Beta’d. 27 chapters including the epilogue. Hoping to post every Monday and Friday!

Open when you want to hear my voice…

Serena sighs as she puts the phone down on the bedside table. It’s been eleven days since she last heard from Bernie via the phone. She had both an e-bluey and a handwritten bluey in that time but it’s just not the same as hearing her girlfriend’s voice. She knows Bernie is okay, telling her during their last conversation that they were going away from base for a while, and while she couldn’t tell her anymore, she probably wouldn’t be able to make contact for some time.

She appreciates the fact that Bernie had had the foresight to tell her, since she can’t imagine how worried she would have been had she not known about this pause in phone contact, but that doesn’t make it any easier right now. She is so desperate to hear her lover’s voice, no matter how crackly the phone line. It’s not going to happen though, not tonight, since it’s gone eleven at night which means it's gone half two in the morning where Bernie is. Stupid three and a half hour time difference still confuses her a little as she’s too used to the offsets being in full hours.

Serena so desperately wants to sleep. She’s tired, Jason having accidently woken her up at 5am by dropping the milk bottle on the floor, smashing everywhere. Instead, she slides out of bed and walks to the dressing table, where the box full of envelopes from Bernie sits. She thumbs through them slowly allowing her eyes to scan over each one, and she can not believe how many different situations Bernie has allowed for, the perfect mixture of happy and sad.

She finds the one that fits right near the back of all of them “Serena – open when you want to hear my voice.”

The envelope is thicker than the rest, she can feel something hard inside of it, but she isn’t sure what. She opens it carefully and pulls out the letter, and folded inside is a cd. Her brow furrows for a second, not really understanding. So, she turns to the letter, a little disappointed when she sees it only contains three sentences.

My Dearest Serena,

You need to hear my voice, and what better way for that than for the proper contents of this letter to be on the CD enclosed. I guess now you know what Raf, Fletch and I were up to at the nurses station the day you kept getting annoyed with us for whispering behind your back. Go listen and hopefully it will make you feel better.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic x

Serena remembers the day Bernie referred to as clearly as if it was yesterday. She’d been in a budget meeting and came down, early for a change, to find Raf, Fletch and Bernie all looking very sheepish at the nurses’ station. She’d brushed it off and they’d all quickly gone about their work but throughout the rest of the shift she’d kept catching them there, only for them to act as if nothing was going on every time they realised she was nearby. She’d been convinced that they were talking about her behind her back, and maybe they had been, but maybe not in the way that she thought.

She walks over to the CD player that she has positioned on the floor of the bedroom, next to her extensive music collection, even if she’s still failed to educate Bernie any further on her musical knowledge. She turns the volume down before placing the CD inside.

There’s a short rustling before she hears Bernie’s voice clearly over the speaker. She sinks down next to the speaker to allow herself to just listen.

“My Dearest Serena,

I wanted to do this for you in the hope that it would help when you needed to hear my voice. I promise that while Raf and Fletch helped me get this onto a CD only you and I will ever hear the content.” Serena chuckles at that. Bernie can drive a tank but doesn’t know how to rip a CD.

“I want to take this time to tell you how proud of you I am, of how proud I am of what you are doing there without me. Running the trauma unit with Raf, keeping AAU running like clockwork. I know this whole separation isn’t easy on you, but I’ll say again just how thankful that I am that you are letting me have this time.” Serena gets that. She almost told Bernie not to go, but it hadn’t taken her long at all to realise this was much more about Bernie than her and that it was the right thing to do.

“I know you miss me like crazy right now, and the only thing I can do to make that a little bit better is to tell you that the feeling is totally mutual. I miss you too, so much.” And in a weird way it does make Serena feel slightly better, a reminder that Bernie loves her as much as she loves Bernie.

“I hope you are doing your utmost to look after yourself with everything too. As much as Jason, Elinor, AAU and the trauma unit all matter, you can’t look after them if you aren’t looking after yourself, though I guess if you are listening to this, you’ve been willing to admit what you need, even if just to yourself. Always remember that you matter and your needs matter.” And Serena’s heart swells as it so often does when Bernie is involved, she always wants to make sure Serena is happy and cared for.

“As much as I’d love to let this go on and on, both you and I have things to do. So, I’m going to tell you that I love you so much and I’m missing you like crazy. Remember this is always here for any other times when you may just need to hear my voice again.

All My Love, Bernie,

Your Big Macho Army Medic” followed by the sound of Bernie air-kissing her.

Serena takes the last sentence literally. She restarts the CD before climbing into bed, and finally with Bernie’s soft and gentle voice filling the room, she is able to fall into a sound sleep.

#Open When #Madam Wakefield Writes #Bernie Wolfe #Serena Campbell #Berena #Berena Fanfic #Holby #Holby City #Buckle Fandom #Berena Fanfiction #Berena FF #Holby Fanfic #Holby FF #Holby Fanfiction #Holby City Fanfic #Holby City FF #Holby City Fanfiction

1 note · View note

waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

Text

9:54 am pdt Friday 24 March 2023

They are all liars. They don’t want me around. They plan for me to die. 9/56 am pdt everyone’s fate was decided. They could have prevented a lot of births. They already knew. They don’t care (right eye 👁 ball pain 9:58 am pdt) they lie about the things they never should lie about and they know it. God likes to live heinously and they know it. They smile Bcz they know they got it good. They are not good and they know it. A school 🏫 teacher died of a brain 🧠 tumor.. she wanted euthanasia. & they made her have to fight to get it. 10:01 am pdt I think 💭 she wanted it Bcz maybe they told her it was terminal and she was probably suffering a lot. They like pain for others. 10:02 am pdt 10:03 am pdt now incubus is burning my head brain 🧠 again. He attacked me my brain 🧠 skull 💀 after I wrote on tumblr. 10:04 am pdt

10:08 am pdt I’m stuck in this hell. Until I’m dead 😵.

10:18 am pdt the power out last week affected the whole area I grew up (chest heart ♥️? Pain 10:19 am pdt) and Scott’s Cupertino. I think 💭 the incubus had his miñions steal records to prevent us from finding out that Brendan Lean was living in my neighborhood & the yearbooks associated? ... with me in it. 10:22 am pdt

1:29 pmpdt incubus plans to kill me by making me look 👀 and be authentically crazy by destroying me piece by piece. He plans to hide Melissa cuen and Brendan lean forever. 1:31 pmpdt nothing will come to light. No one will do anything to make this hell end for me. Scott will continue to kill people and make it look like an accident and smile and be happy about it. Even though he has foresight and can prevent death ☠️ he chooses to play dumb and slay. He should have had high beam lights, but he chose low beams. He had a cat 🐱 named Toby and probably thought 💭 he could see well like a cat 🐱 in the dark. He talked about peripheral vision (problems <-accidentally chose from autocorrect back hand 🤚 pain 1:36 pmpdt diarrhea) Bcz he worked at lens crafters he told me and the owner of the store 🏬 went on vacation and never came back. Scott probably scared 😱 him away how I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️. 1:37 pmpdt probably the west gate mall. 1:38 pmpdt

3:40 pmpdt 3:41 pmpdt while I was at UCB I was still trying to overcome my shyness. I (vag pain 3:42 pmpdt) still had difficulty with breaking away from conversations. Usually I got stuck with more extroverted (feel diarrhea 3:42 pmpdt 😞) vag acid?pain 3:43 pmpdt) people who have a tendency to talk a lot. I don’t remember every conversation but for some reason I had fear of interrupting and a lot of times I had difficulty deciding (left hip bone 🦴 pain 3:45 pmpdt) in what words to use and I think I would often think 💭 a lot of words sounded rude so I’d procrastinate hoping the other person would end it in time for me to go. Once I got frustrated and I actually did say the rudest thing by blaming him for not ending the conversation sooner. Weird. I am weird. Probably Bcz of my head trauma and lack of sleep 😴 & eczema infection problems. This was the teacher 🧑🏿‍🏫 for the same class I think 💭h that I made the blunder of claiming it was my idea 💡 to draw ✍️ the shadows outside. It was a relatively small progect that we probably only had 30 minutes to do. It was more like a spontaneous short exercise. If pain! Right arm 3:52 pmpdt . It’s weird that I would swing btwn thise two extremes? Opposite sides, polarities? Being afraid to interrupt Bcz I’m afraid of interrupting. I had the same problem in elementary school 🏫 when I was 9 or 10 years old and hesitated for many minutes to interrupt my mom and sister’s? Teacher 👩‍🏫 in the middle of their conversation Bcz I neede to pee and I thought 💭 I was obligated to tell them before going So I ended up peeing in my pants 👖 all over the floor! Frustrated & started getting desperate & having difficulty accepting responsibility makes for weird sh*t to happen. That same teacher almost cut me with a knife 🔪 after that he looked angry too. 3:58 pmpdt I don’t think 🤔 I ever intentionally cut someone with a knife 🔪 out of anger. Or any emotion. I am afraid 😱 of sharp things. 3:59 pmpdt

4:03 pmpdt it was embarrassing 😳 that I peed in my pants 👖 completely drenched. I was already well potty 🚽 trained for years. 4:04 pmpdt

4:05 pmpdt ***blaming (vag sting pain 4:06 pmpdt) him for me being late to meet another teacher 👨🏻‍🏫 Bcz he didn’t end the conversation sooner. 4:07 pmpdt

4:29 pmpdt Bcz he’s a teacher at UCB, & UCB is also called bezerkeley, Bcz it’s a little crazy eccentric? He was probably smart and should have figured something out, so it was probably easy for that guy to rebuttal what I said in class and get proper credit. I’m sure now though that no one really has sympathy or empathy for me. The question though that bugs me is if a bad believe able person was to rise to power and murder a lot of good people would you side with them? Without access to knowledge and technology you don’t know what they’re making up. If we are all really tested then did we all fail? I guess it really is dog 🐶 eat dog 🐶 world 🌎 forever ♾. 4:35 pmpdt if aliens 👽 from a distant planet 🌎 came who was 100% themselves with out being controlled by god (acid throat pain vag acid acid throat mouth 👄 pain !!!! 4:36 pmpdt) what would happen what would you do or know? They kill you but every one assumes you deserved it? So they don’t do anything to find out. 4:37 pmpdt

7:30 🕢 pmpdt when I was 6 years old I played in the bathtub 🛀 with my little pony. It’s paper stick on eyes 👀 washed out in the tub 🛀 or in the sink. Originally had blue eyes 👀 and my dad repainted it in lavender. This was in San Jose after moving from king 👑 city 🌃. 7:35 pmpdt

7:39 pmpdt around the same time but probably on a different day I did something and I don’t want to say what it was. I lied 🤥 when my dad asked if I did it. It was a weird thing to ask about now that I think 🤔 about it. Bcz it was obvious I did it. I basically did it infront of him? Anyways, I think incubus has been giving me a hard time about it about lying 🤥. that reminds me, Q likes the tv 📺 show pretty little liars. She told me I should watch that and Grimm I think 💭? 7:46 pmpdt left hip bone 🦴 pain minutes ago. 7:47 pmpdt if my dad believed (diarrhea 7:48 pmpdt) god possessed people like Egyptian god ra in his daughters mayb my response to him could have sounded like a sarcastic joke. But I was 6 years old. 7:50 pmpdt god comes up 🆙 with weird lying 🤥 reasons for things happening. 7:51 pmpdt makes him look 👀 heinous to me. Maybe 🤔 raping an 11 year old... do you think 🤔 it’s possible garrido was breaking her vagina every time he did it? She said it hurt? It’s not death ☠️ incubus said to me in my head. I think 🤔 I should question 🙋🏻‍♀️ it. 7:54 pmpdt I think 🤔 garrido probably was breaking her opening entrance of her vagina ripping flesh but incubus probably healed it up 🆙 so he could keep doing it. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ much about p*nis. Is p*nis a hard bone 🦴? 7:57 pmpdt p*nis is weird to me I need to look 👀 it up 🆙. I wonder 💭 (pain acid sharp anus 8 pmpdt) if she bled a lot each time he did it to her? 8 pmpdt

12:28 am pdt incubus attacked my lower back and inside of my skull ☠️ and brain 🧠 while I was laying down with acid I think 💭 again. 12:29 am pdt I really incubus does not care about me. I think 🤔 he tricked me & a lot of people into continuing to neglect me. Before, I think 🤔 he gave them the reason to not treat me well Bcz I was a bad person? My aunt told me god is angry with me and that I am a bad girl. She told me that years ago, & (vag acid pain 12:32 am pdt) 12:33 am pdt and now I think 🤔 they’re continuing the same treatment but for opposite reasons it seems? It seems like a con to me to let me die. Deteriorate. I guess this is karma for something. Was it x (acid throat pain 12:35 am pdt) for Q not x accidentally typed. Left side rib pain. 12:36 am pdt I already was trying to end things with Q . I talked to other people how I felt. One person suggested I try to patch things up 🆙 with Q have a heart ♥️ to heart ♥️ talk. I didn’t want to. He is going to claim probably that it was a test I failed maybe about Q & posting the picture links. I had difficulty accepting that I failed a test even if it was true. I think 🤔 it was not a good test. Bcz I had felt like I didn’t want to sacrifice myself for Q. I had stuff going on all my life a lot of mediocrity I guess and unhappiness. I was already pulling away from Q. I didn’t think 🤔 it was fair or right. It looked like Q had something going on so it actually I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️, maybe 🤔 it looked like stuff was already known and she was already being punished for it. But I guess there was a possibility that behati didn’t know? And that it was faked? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️! But he was putting the same lines on me. I am very (lower back pain 12:46 am pdt) if the whole family put the same lines on Q that they’re putting (right arm pain 12:47 am pdt) on me now (left jaw bone 🦴 lower back bones 🦴 pain 12:48 am pdt). Then I guess they duped me again. 12:49 am pdt I don’t think 🤔 I can do something’s anymore and they like to force me into those things. 😞😖😭😤🥵 12:51 am pdt they’re torturing me in every way. I find them totally 💯 heinous to do thise th (throat acid pain 12:52 am pdt) I don’t remember putting acid on anyone. I think 🤔 I was always alone when I worked. I also more than once sweeped 🧹 the (acid anus pain 12:54 pmpdt) floor 12:55 pmpdt

I thought 💭 i was careful there. Once when I was on the phone ☎️ with the guy I fell in love with beginning of college b4 dating my first boyfriend, it might have been after the breakup or b4 dating? My memory is weird Bcz I think 🤔 I remembered still being like a kid but maybe 🤔 it (lower back bones 🦴 pain 12:59 am pdt) was after the breakup (vag acid pain 1 am pdt) maybe 🤔 late 2005 or later I think 🤔 I only remembered the first thing I was most shameful about (acid left of eye 👁 not the eye 1:01 am pdt) the guy I asked me, I think 🤔, if I’ve ever did anything? And I cried and said something like “I can’t tell you!” I felt too much guilt to [not 1:07 am pdt] deny but too much shame to admit. 1:04 am pdt

1:11 am pdt the word guilty has weird stuff attached to it. 1) guilty as in not innocent 😇. 2) guilt (trip) as in feelings that manipulate? Me or you to feel sorry 😞 3) recently I heard about there are people who will do whatever they can to hurt you. These type of people disable us from being able (vag pain 1:16 am pdt) to have fun 🤩. I’m not smart. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what god’s complete plans are. But I’ve been given signs 🪧 that I am a sacrifice. Incubus/miñion keep hinting that the sacrifice is needed. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how big the universe is, but the joy of life had been sucked out of me a lot. I had to pretend to be happy or be content with stuff like being alone with tv 📺. 😞 good bye 👋 happiness 🎶🎼🎵🎤 utada hikaru. 1:20 am pdt (the world 🌎) they’ve been sending mixed signals but it is very apparent now that I’m dying 😵 and they want to break my back and make me fall. A Doctor 🥼 randomly asked me if I fell . ≈2020? 2019? But with (pain acid right nostril 👃 1:23 am pdt) all the ways every one else was to me it seemed like they were hinting that I was going to (vag pain 1:24 am pdt) and they were looking forward to it. 1:25 am pdt I think 🤔 I would rather get decapitated by a samarai sword 🗡. Something fast. 1:26 am pdt I once did a drawing ✍️ Of my body headless holding my wrist with eczema (right hip bone 🦴 pain skull 💀 bone pain 1:27 am pdt) on my hand 🤚 that resembles the desert 🏜 (diarrhea minute ago 1:28 am pdt)😤🥵1:29 am pdt

0 notes