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#i cant tell if i feel immensely happy or immensely bad but when its both at the same time i can tell its not happy so i think its bad
fezcosbitch · 3 years
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JJ MAYBANK IMAGINE:
PASSION AND WILD REGRET 2
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After a few requests, here’s the second part to passion and wild regret
you can read part 1 here
if the link doesn't work please tell me! x
I hope you enjoy ❤️
You can request if you want x
Warnings: Angst, hella angst. Also the pogues (kie) are rude in this one like...RUDE. Reader is confrontational and not gonna lie, i’m here for it, like I wish I could do this. also if you like Kie... you about to not like Kie, shes a bit off the rails, mega jealous ex here.
All feedback’s welcome, as long as its not mean or rude 💙
So yeah, hopefully you enjoy❤️
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It was 2:57 when i woke up the following morning, or evening, and i had absolutely no clue what to  do with myself. I had an immense headache, and a deep pain in my heart. How could they do that? say that? You had been there for them all, through everything. Yet somehow they decide to say all that about you. You were there for Kie when she was at her lowest point, you found her in the bathrooms with Sarah, yet when Sarah left, you stayed, and she never saw it. When John B felt like he would never fit in, and you were the only one (apart from JJ) who stuck by him. Or pope, who, for preparation for his college interview wanted someone to revise with so he wouldn’t be lonely for hours on end, and when everyone opted to surf and sun tan instead of help him, you were the one to stay behind and assist him in his studies, while you could’ve been outside in the summer, tanning and surfing. And  then JJ, the person who undoubtedly hurt you the most. You were there for him all the time. Throughout all the beatings his dad gave him. And all the angry times he almost threw his life away by getting arrested. You saved him from so much, and yet he repays you by saying you’re too much for him, and not worth him.
You couldn’t stand having these thoughts festering around in your mind, so decided that the best thing would be to confront the pogues, and ask why they thought what they did. You hopped in your car and drove over to the chateau, ready to either make or break all your supposed friendships.
Pulling up to the chateau, You saw all the pogues sitting around the porch, talking about something you couldn’t hear. After you’ve stepped out your car, you slam the door shut and lock it, as all the pogues heads turn to look at you. JJ immediately gets up and heads towards you, while the rest of the pogues stand up behind him.
“oh baby I-” JJ started, tears brimming in his eyes already just wanting to apologize over and over again. “don’t even JJ, don’t even start” you said , shaking your head at him “I-” he tried again desperate for you to hear what he wanted to say. “NO JJ, NO. You don’t get to speak over me ok? none of you do. I cant believe you guys i mean, how dare you. I’ve done nothing but stick by you! all of you! yet you repay me like this? wow, Thanks guys I really appreciate that yeah. Just, I can’t believe all of you.” You quickly let out, looking at all of them
“I DIDN’T AGREE WITH THEM BABY I SWEAR” JJ bursts out, desperate for you to forgive him. “what?” you question, immediately wanting to know if this is true. “ I-I-I don’t know what you heard but I never agreed to what they said,I would never, please baby believe me, I know you’ve done so much for me, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, I argued fully with them all night, I never once agreed, please take me back.” JJ begged, now directly in front of you grasping onto your hands. “is this true?” you asked the rest of the pogues behind him, desperate to find out if it was true or not, desperately wanting someone on your side. All the pogues solemnly nodded, proving to you that JJ did in fact argue against his friends. You looked him dead in the eye “of course i’ll take you back idiot, i kind of stormed of halfway through, didn’t get to hear what you said” you told him smiling through your tears of joy due to knowing that JJ did in fact fight for you. you quickly take him in your arms and hold him tight, “I’m so sorry” you whispered, knowing it must of been hard for him to read the letter you left him. “It’s ok” he whispered back, lightly kissing your shoulder. In that moment you both knew you were never going to let go of each other again, and that if needed, you’d swim entire oceans to be together. 
In all of that chaos you had forgotten the pogues behind you, who you initially came here for. Breaking out of the hug between you and JJ, you turn to face them with all your pent up anger ready to be unleashed, and knowing JJ was safely with you, and prepared to go to the end of the earth with you, you felt ready to take on whatever your ‘friends’ say to you. 
“What about you guys then?” you started off. “What was that all about? all the ‘Y/ns not good enough for you’, and the ‘she’ll only bring you down’ what was all that?” you questioned looking around at all three of them “Its our honest thoughts” Kie spoke up, making you turn to look at her. “really?” you questioned, cocking one eyebrow. “yeah” she responded, crossing her arms. “boys?” you asked, wanting to see if they agreed. John B was the first to nod his head, almost instantly, and pope slowly after, agreeing with his statement. “wow... All my friends hate me.” you whistled, slowly coming to the full realization. JJ grasped your hand, to remind you that he was there for you. “We don’t hate you y/n... we just hate you and JJ being together” John B backed Kiara up, acting as if it was the most obvious thing ever. “why bro? why can’t you just be happy for us?” JJ questioned from behind you, genuinely curious “ because bro, Shes a bad influence. She doesn’t care bro, not about you, us, anyone man why can’t you see that? sure shes cool and stuff and shes a fun friend but that’s all she should ever be” John B ranted. “ What the fuck bro? All of you think that? wow. So everything I’ve ever done for you guys is washed away by some dumb mistakes right? I do some drugs and SHIT I’m the worst person in the world right? everything I’ve ever done forgotten because of some things I do when I’m drunk right?” you questioned all at once, trying to show them how stupid they were being. “Yes” Kiara responds. “Yes because we don’t know what else you’ll do. First it’s molly, next its what? METH?” Kiara stressed. “You’re unreliable, and God knows what you could get JJ into.” she finished. “wha- Kie why are you SO scared about what JJ could get into man? Like what?  I’d never hurt him, or do anything like that, I love him man, so what are you so worried about?” you ranted, confused by Kies emotions. Of course you understood her worry for her friends. but she didn’t say that about John B, or Pope, so why JJ? “BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM! YOU NEVER DID” Kie fully lets out. Ah, you understood now. “You jealous Kiara?” you questioned? “you want JJ yeah? want him to be with you, so now everything I do apparently is more of a reason for him to be with you yeah?” you finally said, having worked out why she was so angry. Kie and the rest of the pogues were silent at your discovery. “wait, what about you guys?” you questioned the two boys. “well uhh, Kie kinda told us you may have cheated on J”
your jaw dropped. 
“THE FUCK KIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” you were shocked at the lies she was spilling. “ WELL YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM ANYWAY, THE MORE PEOPLE THAT SEE THAT MAYBE THE MORE HE’LL REALIZE IT, WHO CARES IF THERE’S A COUPLE OF LIES” all of you stood there shocked at what Kie just said. “ the fuck-” JJ started, shocked out of his mind that Kie would say something like that. “ I can’t even. Don’t talk to me Kiara, don’t even approach me until i say so, oh and sort out your major jealousy problem, it’s not cute honey” you said while getting in your car, waiting for JJ to enter in the passenger side. After J got in, you started the car and rolled down your window, “oh and I forgive you boys, i understand why you did it, so like don’t worry. Sort it out Kie, love” you sarcastically grinned and waved to her as you drove away.
“Jesus Christ” you said to JJ “you know I’d never cheat on you don’t you?” you questioned just to make sure. “no of course i know you wouldn’t, its just, the fuck was that with Kie like, what even?” JJ responded. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I forgive John B and Pope cause like, obviously, they were lied to and lead to believe all that but like. How can she be so jealous man?” you questioned, genuinely curious about how one person could be so jealous of another. “I don’t know baby, I don’t know” J responded while kissing your hand.
even though you were away from it all, one question played on your mind...why would she do that?
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So yeah... Kie did that.
What were your thoughts? Please tell me ! 💙
Part 3 anyone? If so please tell me x
Sorry for the long wait x
And also sorry if it’s bad ❤️
But yeah that was that how do you feel about it?
All feedbacks welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean💙
But yeah, cya
People who wanted to be tagged :
@mrsmaybank18 (Wouldn’t let me tag you :( )
@captainwinterwriter @ifilwtmfc @hurricane-abigail
@thenextteen
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palmett-hoes · 3 years
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what's your take on the foxes mbti?
oh buddy ur never gonna believe this but i wrote a foxes MBTI post YEARS ago
im also not into mbti anymore and haven't been for many years so that post is probably still more accurate and in-depth than what i could give you now. i’m just gonna copy the whole thing but i read it over and it still totally vibes w how i understand the characters, like way more than i was expecting it to. i only made one edit (it’s marked) and it was to add a detail not change anything
i hope you’re really really into mbti otherwise this’ll probably be gobbeldegook
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i used to be obessively into mbti so here’s an analysis based on cognitive functions mostly.
SKIP IF YOU WANT. for anyone with no idea how it works, here’s a quick rundown: cognitive functions are about the way people think, process, and prioritize information, not necessarily how they act, though people who think the same way often act the same. the 8 letters that make up a type represent how people process and prioritize internal and external stimuli. every letter actually has an ‘internal’ and 'external’ form so there’s Thinking (internal(ti) and external(te)), Feeling (internal(fi) and external(fe)), Sensing (internal(si) and external(se)), and iNtuition(internal(ni) and external(ne)) t’s always go with a corresponding and opposite f (like ti and fe always go together), same with s’s and n’s (ex: si and ne always go together). a set of  t, f, s, and n in a specific order makes an mbti type.
neil: intp (ti ne si fe)
neil has incredible analytical ability although it’s very programmed for survival but he’s also a fast thinker and very quick to adapt to new environments. he also approaches things from original angles that other people dont consider, all that sounds like high ti/ne. the lower functions fit well too. in times of stress, he returns to old habits and falls back on what’s familiar, that’s classic low si. his emotions are also very exterior. he’s bad with other people from lack of exposure, but he’s committed to harmony between those close to him and has an impeccable ability to read the emotional states of others while being completely oblivious of his own, and his sense of self is tied to exterior things like exy, friends, keys, and legal documents (lol) that’s fe
andrew: intj (ni te fi se)
ni is really hard to describe but it has to do with being able to draw conclusions from scattered input, which fits with andrew’s uncanny ability to spot lies and obsession with finding out the truth, especially with high te, which is about spatial order and logic, think of how prioritized he is with the physical order of things: who sits where, who wears what, etc. a lot of people want to make andrew infj i bet as like a “subversive reading” but he’s definitely not. i used to be really close to an infj and they have hyper-empathy, as in she would describe not just caring about other people and being able to read their emotional states but literally feeling the things the people around her felt. this is a common result of the ni/fe combo, and the reason why andrew is definitely not infj. tertiary fi fits very well instead because andrew is deeply attuned to his own inner emotional state. he’s self-confident and doesn’t care about other people’s perception of him, but he’s also very concerned with his own feelings and understanding them, even if they’re repressed. he’s also very aware of his physical surroundings, which plays into his deductive ability, although it’s not his focus. that’s low se
kevin: estj (te si ne fi)
kevin is a classic estj. he’s controlling, demanding, and driven. he tries to control the actions of those around him and gets very distressed when things dont run smoothly, as well as having strong feelings about improving efficiency. high te people make great managers. kevin’s whole story arc is about breaking old habits, which is a very si problem. it has to do with trusting and craving memory and familiarity, and explains kevins need for endless repetition. he’s innovative, though, coming up with new strategies and drills (ne), it’s just based on what’s already familiar, and you can see him spiral into creating all possible worst-case scenarios when he’s stressed (low ne stress reaction, they like to be prepared). finally, he’s a dick, but he cares about other people and wants to improve their lives, as well as being very reliant on other people’s perceptions of him to define his own self-image (low fe)
dan: esfj (fe si ne ti)
dan’s top priority, over everything else, is her team. she wants her team to improve, she wants her team to win, she wants her team to work together. it’s all about the collective. we also see that she’s very open with others and makes a lot of effort to both make new ties and maintain old ones, that’s high fe. she’s sentimental and attached to the past too (si)  esp the photo wall, but we also see her very unwilling to let go of the past ie the monsters but eventually willing to change and grow to mend team cohesion (ne). we also see the fight in underlying logic (low ti) with her: she knows the team needs the monsters to cooperate but she cant figure out how to do it
matt: enfj (fe ni se ti)
so enfj’s experience infj hyper-empathy too, but to a slightly lesser extent (primary fe is more group cohesion, secondary fe is more understanding others), and through this we see matt’s easy-going open friendliness and ability to befriend even prickly little neil, because he has an extremely good sense of what other people are feeling and need, it also explains why he doesn’t hold a grudge against the cousins in the same way dan does, because he understands where they were coming from. se is associated with a general boisterousness for life, as it’s about experiencing the world around you, which explains matt’s happy-go-lucky disposition and puppydog behavior. the ti aspects mostly go into supporting fe/ni empathic senses
allison: entj (te ni se fi)
i mean, allison’s controlling, both in that she orders other people around and in that her physical being and space are very planned and organized (her clothes, her hair, her makeup, etc) but at the same time there isn’t much sentimentality to her, like how she doesn’t care when her car was destroyed. she easily replaces things because she cares about the object’s purpose, not its history and that all smacks of high te/ni. and i mean, the se definitely contributes to her love of designer things and killer looks, because she cares about the world immediately around her, and why live if not in luxury? and fi? is there any character more aggressively self-confident than allison reynolds?? going against her parents’ wishes for her takes a really strong, independent sense of self, but we also see the problems that can come from not worrying about other people, in how she starts fights and can be abrasive and catty
renee: infp (fi ne si te)
okay this one was really hard tbh. a list of other considerations: isfp, istp, and infj. it’s very easy to read renee as high fe because she’s kind, but i think it’s a mischaracteration of why she’s kind. it’s not because it comes naturally to her, it’s because it’s a conscious choice that makes her feel better about herself. high fi people often read as fe because they’re so comfortable with themselves and in tune with their own needs that they can then go and provide for others. i associate her religion with ne, because contemplation and acceptance of the divine later in life is a very metaphysical undertaking that undoubtedly requires a lot of abstract thought. renee’s storyline also revolves a lot around using things from her past and putting a conscious effort into leaving things from her past behind (how she still uses the skills she learned from her past in new ways ie sparring with andrew and protecting the upperclassmen v/s how she held on to her knives even when she knew it was detrimental to her moving on) this sounds like si. her protective instincts also feed into the te need for order, but it’s a looser leash than say andrew, as it’s lower on her function stack but still present
nicky: esfp (se fi te ni)
godd nicky is like a prototypical esfp. i mean nicholas “sex, drugs, and parties” hemmick cant be anything but se dominant. nicky is all about living it up and living in the moment. like he’s sporadic and ive seen it lead people to think he could be enfp but he doesn’t think enough about the meaning of things to be ne dominant (like how he makes somewhat predatory jokes and such, he’s all about the here-and-now while ne is about the past and future simultaneously). also he of all characters has incredibly prominent fi, as his whole character is about living unashamedly as himself as a gay man and the immense self-awareness and inner strength it takes not only to come out to unaccepting parents but also to leave and start a new life when they rejected him. however, fi is also indicative of his communication problems with his family, as he’s unable to tell that the cousins are fundamentally different from him in their needs and boundaries, leading him to pushing them, making them uncomfortable, and being unable to help them, because he’s unable to understand them. the rest are much more hidden, but a party boy shopaholic like nicky would probably need some amount of te order in like an organized chaos fashion (and he’s often headcanoned as liking to throw parties) and you do see him become somewhat pushy, even controlling in those scenarios. ni is the hardest but could maybe be seen in how he’s attuned to the cousins reactions for all that he cant predict them/doesn’t do anything on his own part to prevent them (the way he handles andrew is like if someone poked a rattlesnake knowing damn well what it would do and then freaked out when he got bit)
aaron: istj (si te fi ne)
im a little iffy on this one and worry it might be an analysis based on his trauma instead of complimentary to it, but aaron’s arc is about breaking out of his habit of holding on to the past. he refuses to work towards moving on from his mother’s death, refuses to listen to things that contradict his preconceived notions, and refuses to make changes in his life that could improve it. that’s unhealthy si. he’s really a very unhealthy istj, and most of his traits manifest through his unhappiness with his life. take his te. that would imply that he needs control over his surroundings, but aaron is incredibly bitter and unhappy BECAUSE he doesn’t have control of his surroundings. he doesn’t get to make his own choices, he doesn’t get to control his space, and he hates it. his relationship with katelyn is also indicative of being an istj. it’s stable, not a passionate fling, but aaron is mocked for wanting that white picket fence, married with kids in the suburbs kind of life, and his relationship, which is his primary source of happiness, is built on stability, which is a very si thing to do. in terms of fi, it is aaron that ultimately forces change between himself and andrew. he may have been pushed but he ultimately came down to him knowing what made him happy and what made him miserable and acting on that. also, he’s an ornery asshole who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of him. fi. i dont really have anything to say in terms of ne, probably because he’s so unhealthy but also because he’s not too explored. heyy istj’s make great doctors
wymack: isfj (si fe ti ne)
okay this one was genuinely the hardest to decide on but ultimately i came to the conclusion that wymack, much like renee, is such a developed person that he loses many defining traits of the functions, and can be read in many different ways. so: wymack’s primary goal is the safety and betterment of other people (ie his team). he wants to help people overcome their pasts, which is a very atypical approach to si, but is si nonetheless. on a personal level, too, he’s never able to move on from people, and specifically never moved on from kayleigh,  continuing their shared dream of an exy team for abused kids long after her death. as ive said before, fe in a secondary position is about deep understanding of other people, and wymack’s ability to understand what other people are struggling through is legendary. the ti mostly serves as support to the fe, serving as the analytical backup in allowing him to understand others. as for ne: he is most definitely an innovator with unusual ideas, or the foxes wouldn’t exist
riko: estp (se ti fe ni)
riko is basically what happens when an estp goes bad down to the core. he’s obsessed with personal glory and immediate self-fulfillment (se) he has no impulse control or fear of consequences. interestingly, high se is often associated with athleticism, because high se people are intensly focused on their surroundings (exy). his ti is also super unhealthy as he gets obsessed with ideas that dont really work with objective reality, like his obsession with ownership and power dynamics despite them not actually being efficient, even backwards. the tertiary fe he uses to manipulate. he doesn’t empathize with others, but he can tell their emotional state and what’s important to them, and uses it to coerce them and destroy their sense of self, like how he knew he could get neil to the nest by threatening andrew. EDIT: /additionally, fe people especially in the lower half of the function stack tend to derive their sense of self from the perceptions of others around them, which riko very much shows in how he needs to be acknowledged as the best and won’t allow any competition for his title, as well as his desperation for acknowledgement from his family/. finally, that ni allowed him to keep multiple plans in place focused on one ultimate goal: getting kevin back. the sheer amount of schemes he sets up in order to fool and push people the way he wants is honestly kinda impressive, but he’s a toxic shithead and im glad he’s rotting. definitely not representative of all estp’s
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this is honestly SO funny to read back a few years later bc HOOOOO boy was i way too into this stuff. and this was written a couple years after my Peak MBTI Obsession, which was honestly scary
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sunsinrinn · 4 years
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Do you love her?
Bakugo X reader, Bakugo x Setsuna
Angst, mild language
Word count: 1,857
Idea: Reader ask Bakugo “Do you like/love her?” Three different times. (idea loosely based from song Do you love her by Jessie Reyez)
First fic ever so like i dunno what i am doing. Also I felt like he fit in for this idea (him or hawks) 😣hopefully ppl enjoy it
You watch as he is carefree around her, laughing so carelessly as you sit alone eating lunch. You begin to feel insecure as you notice he isn’t like that with you, considering you and him are together. He doesn’t seem to notice that you’re alone, already eating. But after a while he turns around and as he sees you his smile falters for a millisecond. You notice the falter and frown slightly before plastering a smile as he looks at you, he scoffs and walks towards your table and sits in front of you.
“What’s wrong with you now?”
You look at him analyzing his behavior and how it changed so quickly from carefree to annoyed.
“Well?! Aren’t you going to answer me??”
“Do you like her?” You blurt out and regret it as soon as he scowls.
“Are you fucking serious? I am stuck with you for fucks sakes! Tch,” He looks pissed, causing you to feel bad for insinuating him liking someone else.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I asked that I trust you completely” you say quietly, finishing up your meal. You get up and walk back to the classroom. As your classmates finish up their meals they begin flowing back into the class room and you notice Bakugo is a couple of minutes late. He looks at you and quickly looks away when he enters. You don’t think much because you have become used to him being cold.
As a couple of days go by from the day you asked him that question you notice he gives you more attention and isn’t quite as rude, almost becoming the guy he was when you first started dating. You didn’t think much of it other than being happy he is acting “normal” again. You begin to notice he is jittery and cautious near lunch time. With that you begin noticing how he only acts like that whenever Setsuna is near. It breaks you ever so slightly and makes you want to know why he is acting like that.
What you don’t know is that when you left that day Setsuna walks over to Bakugo and he becomes carefree again, so much to the point where he found himself alone with her outside making out. He feels on cloud nine but it diminishes when he remembers he is still with you. He breaks the kiss and sprints back to class. As he walks in class and spots you he begins to feel guilty and looks away. After that day he continued to feel guilty and he thought that being nice to you would remove the guilt.
After a week from noticing his strange behavior you cannot take it anymore and walk to his dorm. As you knock on the door and ask him about it, Denki walks by and says “Hey, just the gal I am looking for! Do you want to make some cookies with me?” You are about to say you couldn’t right now but him almost sensing a no from you makes puppy eyes and with that you give in.
“Sure, what kind do you wanna make?”
He contemplates and after a while says, “I dunno I actually didn’t think this far ahead also I don’t know how to bake but what about those round ones with the brown spots in them,” You look at him trying and failing to hold back a laughter, “Denki,,,, Do you mean Chocolate Chip cookies?”
“Yeah those ones!” He looks sheepishly at you.
“Alright come on.”
*in the kitchen area*
“How the heck did you get covered in flower, Denki?” You look at him as the flour cloud disappears.
“I- I don’t know one minute I was measuring the flour then next minute it somehow ends up everywhere”
*30 minutes later*
“Whew, I’m so proud of these cookies”
“Yeah apart from the flour situation these seem to turn out good.”
You both look down towards to cookies and each other and laugh softly. The class begins to come down to see where the smell of cookies is coming from and see both of you standing there proud of your cookies. As you offer everyone cookies you notice this was the most pure and fun activity you have done with someone, making you remember of Bakugo’s suspicious behavior. You excuse yourself as you make your way up to his room. You look towards his door and hold your breath as you knock.
“Who is it?” He yells out angrily.
“Its me.” You say loud enough for him to hear. As he opens the door he looks annoyed but lets you in. You walk in and stand there for a minute contemplating if you were overthinking his behavior but get startled by his voice.
“What do you want?” He says in an annoyed voice.
You feel discouraged but quietly say “Why are you acting weird...”
Silence feels the room but he finally speaks up, “What the hell are you going on about?”
“I’m talking about how you for some weird reason are acting kind, but you are also acting jitterish and cautious. Especially whenever Setsuna is around.”
He did not think you would catch on the him acting differently so instead of telling the truth he becomes defensive, “What the hell do you mean I’m acting kind? You’re my girlfriend I’m suppose to be nice to you! I am not acting weird, its just your insecure ass who wants to assume I’m cheating on you! I’m stuck with you aren’t I why would I cheat! Me and Setsuna are friends. I don’t have to just hang out with your clingy ass everyday just because we date” At his outburst you feel you’re heart break even more. “I just want to know one more thing,” He looks at you even more annoyed, “What now?”
“Do you like her?”
He hesitates before answering cautiously
“...No.”
As he looks into you’re eyes he sees that they were filled with an immense sadness. He regrets not answering quickly, He regrets that he doesn’t love you as much anymore he regrets even falling for Setsuna.
You look at him and say “If you don’t why did you hesitate? Why do you keep hiding things from me?! I really cant right now, I feel like we need to take a break.” By the end of that sentence your voice breaks slightly and Bakugo notices. He notices you restraining yourself from crying, from showing any type of weakness, something he’s only seen you do with someone you could no longer trust, he sees you building walls around your emotions again like the ones he knocked down when he first met you. Except this time the walls were being put up because of him. After a while of trying not to show any emotion he says,
“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. Its not like I need you anyways.”
You look at him and finally after a long time you leave as a single tear falls.
After you left Bakugo punches his wall while screaming so loud its a surprise no one heard him. You walk to your room and fall to your bed crying. The hesitation he did before answering was all the evidence you needed to know he loves her now.
Downstairs, Denki notices you aren’t around so he saves the last cookie for you. He walks up to your room and knocks lightly. You hear the knock and softly ask “Who is it?”
“It’s me Denki”
“Come in” You quickly wipe your tears and sit up. He walks in and notices your red eyes and begins to worry, “What happened? Why are you crying?”
You look at him as he worries you hesitantly say, “Bakugo and I are taking a break from each other...” He looks at you with a soft look and after a while he says, “Oh y/n, I’m sorry... Whenever you want to tell me why I will be here but I wont pressure you to tell me. Brought you a cookie so you feel better. If you want we can also watch some Netflix to forget for a while?” You sniff softly, “Thank you so much Denki. You’re a great friend.” Denki whispers “Yeah friends”
You scoot over so he can sit and begin to binge watch movies.
As days go by Bakugo thinks over on how he fucked up. He thought of different ways to make it up to you but always became distracted by Setsuna. He was infatuated by her and couldn’t stop thinking of her. He got to the point where he completely stop thinking of ways to get you back. He was so preoccupied with Setsuna he just decided to confront you no plans no ideas.
You begin to feel better, especially with Denki cheering you up. Even others tried helping, that girls made a girls night one night, Iida would just give you facts and ideas on how to act professionally during a break up making you giggle, Kirishima and Izuku would make small jokes here in there but izuku would always stutter slightly because he still getting used to talking to girls, heck even Shoto tried cheering you up by attempting to make you a small cat ice sculpture using his power but kinda failed making it look wonky. You stopped thinking of your break up and bakugo in general. You did notice every once in a while that he was usually with Setsuna.
After a couple of weeks of bliss, you hear a knock. You open the door thinking its Denki and see Bakugo standing there your smile drops and turns into a scowl. As you begin to shut the door he sticks his foot in causing the door to not close. You sigh and open it up again.
“What do you want Bakugo?”
“I came here to talk and get you back.”
You look at him in disbelief, “I thought you didn’t need me anyways?”
He looks startled at your words but answers, “I didn’t mean that y/n. I am sorry for the pain I caused you! I cant bear to live knowing I hurt you.”
“So you just want me to forgive you so you don’t feel guilty?” You ask disinterested in what he said. “No I really am sorry I was just caught up with Setsuna that I didn’t realize you’re the one for me.”
“Really? Weren’t you just yesterday hugging and holding hands with her?”
“I- that doesn’t mean anything to me! Only you! I only care for you” He says insistingly trying to convince not you but himself. He continues to ramble on about how much he wants you that he doesn’t here you when you speak, “I only have one thing I want to ask you and I hope you answer honestly this time.”
“Do you love her?”
“-want— YES-“ He cuts himself off and widens his eyes when he realizes his mistake. This was not how he planned his confrontation to go. You look at him with sorrow in your eyes and shed some tears.
“I knew it.” Was all you could say.
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here is Part 1- Part 2 - Part 3
A/N- so um I think(?) I did a good job. Also maybe a part two, I dont know this is my first fic so i dunno.
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atiny-ahgase · 3 years
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A message to my Moots
Hey all, I originally wasn’t gonna do this cause I honestly didn't even know where to begin (I still don't tbh) but I said that I’ll still give it a try cause I wanted to tell you all my feelings before the new year rolls around (for me at least lol). So let’s get too it.
Firstly thank you to every single person that follows me, or has read any of my fics or liked any of my edits or even just interacted with me in any form. Thank you for the immense love and support that I’ve received on this site, honestly I didn't expect to make any friends here and the fact that I was able to meet and befriend so many amazing people. So I just wanna say thank you so much for being a part of my life. I’ve always put up walls and I’m really bad at getting close to others but Tumblr was the first site that I’ve really felt comfortable enough to be the real me. So thank you for that.
Now on to the Mentions
I had no idea how to start this so I decided to start at the beginning.
@mingishoe -Luna, you were the reason that I joined Tumblr in the first place, your fics brought me here and your interactions with other blogs opened up so many doors for me and helped me to interact and befriend so many amazing people. You were the first person that I ever sent an ask to, you made me feel so comfortable and welcome so thank you for that. Thank you for being you, a literal moon; bright and beautiful always lighting up the way. I honestly don't think that I would ever be able to explain how much I love, admire and look up to you, I honestly can’t find the words. Honestly, just thank you for being there for your little anon (Idk if you know which anon I am though lol)
@vocalyunho -Ames!!!!! The 2nd person that I followed! an absolute angel. You are such a calm soul and I just love your vibe and energy so much. I think that I’ve said this a million times but you just make me feel so safe and secure, you have such a calm and capable aura that is just so soothing to me. Thank you for coming into my life and being the amazing person that you are.
@jonghoshoe -ZAD!!! Baby Brother! My Teddy Bear! My Sunflower!! Where do I even begin?!? You were basically my first friend on Tumblr (and I am even more grateful to Luna cause I found you through her). IDK what it was about you but you had such an amazing out look on life while still being chaotic in the best way possible. I would wake up every morning and look out for your posts cause you would always make me smile. Without even knowing it you became a big part of my life and I am so grateful for that. You were my motivation when I was feeling down, you encouraged me to see the good things in the word, you hyped me up to write fics; honestly you are part of why I am the Gabby that I am today and I cant thank you enough for that, I love and admire you so much.
Next on my list is my little bunny @lustjoong -PK PK PK, my knee loving queen!!!! IDEK what to say cause I feel as though I confess my love to you at least twice a week on discord lol. I love talking with you, you're incredibly level headed and give amazing advice (which I always need cause I’m a mess lol). I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again that I admire you so much and would of never imagined that I would of ever gotten the chance to talk to you (much less be able to call you my friend) cause in my mind I always saw you as this amazing and untouchable writer (but then I realized that I’m taller than you so... lol I’m kidding). I’m happy that you found out that I was messaging you on anon and thank you for reaching out to me. I look forward to more chaotic conversations and knee pics in the new year.
@atiny-piratequeen -FIE I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I MIGHT EXPLODE!! You fill me with so much life that I cant even begin to explain. I’ve said this a million times before but I love how you aren't afraid to speak you mind and say how you feel. You're such a strong figure to me here on the platform and I've always admired how natural and bold you are with your opinions. I find your personality to be extremely refreshing and welcoming, I was never afraid to interact with you (I combusted when you sent me an ask but that’s only natural..) so thank you for providing me (and a lot of other Atiny) with a safe and welcoming place that we can come to.
@twancingyunhoe -Allyssa!!! My mom!!!! My cookie baking, Yunho loving, cat mom!! where do I even begin?? Thank you for being an absolute angel! You shine so brightly here and you're always so supportive to literally everyone. I am and always will be there for you no matter what so I want you to remember that in the coming year. and remember that I love you in your highs and your lows and I am available to provide cuddles anytime they are needed or wanted cause you are precious to me ok luv.
@felixs-moonlight -my little duckling AJ!!! I’m wishing you the best in the new year cause that's what best bois deserve! You are so incredibly sweet and caring so don't you ever forget. Even if you do forget don't worry cause I will always be there to remind you.
@seoultraveller -Cat. Your presence makes me so happy!! IDEK what it is I just love seeing you on my dashboard, when I don't see you I wonder how you are. I hope that this new years is treating you well. Also, you are NOT boring and lets talk a lot more in the coming year okay luv
@yunhozone -Jey!! I miss you, I hope that you're well, its been raining lately so I hope that you're staying dry and safe. I love your boldness and sense of humor so please don't ever change. i started following you on a whim and I have never regretted following you ever since. You make me smile and laugh so much and I hope that I can do the same for you in the coming years. Stay safe okay luv
@pirate-hongjoong -Kayla, lets both talk more in the coming year ok luv. I pretty much told you everything that I wanted to on your post so I’ll try to keep this short. I think that you're really sweet and we should get to know each other more, I’ll try to reach out some more and be a little less shy. so lets continue to grow our friendship okay.
@taelepathysroom -You were the first friend that I made on Tumblr all on my own (meaning that I didn't see you interacting with a moot or anything, I found you all by myself) to this day I don't remember how I mustered up the bravery to message you. I remember wanting to message you on anon and realizing that you had anon off and I STILL went for it lol, apparently I was wilding. But that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I love talking with you and receiving all of your extremely important messages and I look forward to many more (my heart is not ready but it is fine).
@moongaera -Gaera you are such a great motivation to me and I’m so happy to be a part of your life. You are so sweet and incredibly talented. I love seeing you on my dashboard and talking with you cause you honestly make my heart want to explode.
@yungidreamer - Big sister!!!! Kelsi!!! My aesthetic queen who I am convince is tryna kill me on our discord chat you are so kind and helpful and give such great tips. You are such a calm soul and I love interacting with you (especially when things feel crazy) its like you just magically know the answer to everything.
@yunhoiseyecandy -Violet, we don't really talk much but I think that you're really cool and fun so lets talk lots in 2021 ok. Also IDK why I felt like this was the perfect place to post this but you're the only moot whos emoji pops up when I start to type their name in the hashtags and I always thought that its really cute. (You're also really cute). I think that we would be really good friends so I cant wait to talk with you more.
@hwaberrykiwi -CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! You are so fun to talk to and so sweet and so calming and you make my heart feel like its bursting (in the best way possible). I hope that you're well and I look forward to sharing more moments here with you on Tumblr (and I am still keeping my promise of not eating Lemon Bars if they aren't from you so...)
@atinywrites -Angel!!! My precious, little angel who always attacks my poor little heart. I love your messages and how you just pop up randomly and shower me with love (then I read your posts and you're just straight up roasting people JBJDJFILJFISREHF) I love absolutely everything about you and I’m really happy that we met each other, I cant wait to see what 2021 has in store for us.
@choisans-dimples -Cass my dearest little Sugar Plum, apart from you being absolutely precious you are also extremely previous to me. I remember our first interactions and they still bring a smile to my face (we were like Tom and Jerry and honestly in a way we still are lol). But you mean so much to me and you never fail to make me laugh or smile no matter what is going on in my life. I wish for you to never lose that smile in 2021 and if it ever begins to falter just know that I’m here ok luv
@latte-fairytaekwoon -Latte, I’m not gonna lie; when Mei started adopting family members I felt like my brain was gonna explode but I gotta hand it to her cause she has great taste in family cause she chose you. If it wasn't for her then I probably would of never found you. if that happened then who would spoil me rotten?!? I am so happy to have met you I honestly thrive every time I see you on my dashboard, you are absolutely hilarious and I love to see your interactions. I cant wait to see what you do in 2021 and all of the other years to come. Thanks for being a great Tumblr Mom
@little-precious-baby -Mei, where do I begin?? You came out of no where for me, you just sort of appeared and then in the blink of an eye you became so dear to me. Id just find myself looking out for your posts and wondering how you are. IDK how to explain it but you've somehow managed to bring so many amazing individuals together in such a short time, you're absolutely amazing and I hope that one day you'll be able to see yourself the way that we already see you. Ik that things can be hard (and they will be because that’s life) but just know that this family that you helped to bring together is always here for you when you need someone to confide in and when it feels like its too much and you need a break we’ll be right here waiting for you until you come back. Just remember that your big sis loves you ok my little bean.
@ateez-little-star -JAS!!!!!! My babie sister IDK how to write this without crying cause you make me so happy that idek what to do. You are so bold and brave while still being shy and cute, I cant explain it. You are so wholesome to talk to and so fun and interesting and sweet and loveable! Like how could someone not love you!! Thank you for always checking up on me and showering me with love and just making me smile.
@yunhofingers -My sweet little bean who definitely never behaves badly!! I am sending you all of the positive vibes for the new year. Ik that things wont always be easy but just know that I’m always here and I believe in you. You are so sweet and kind and bold and I love that about you, don't ever change and thank you so much for making me smile; I hope that I can do the same for you in 2021 and beyond cause I hope that we can be friends for a really long time.
I also wanted to include the moots that I do interact with but I also want to talk to even more in the coming year. Thank you for being here for both me and other people in the kpop community. I love your blogs and you all are so incredibly kind (and ridiculously entertaining; I’m looking at you Caly and Vivi lol), I hope that we can become even better friends.
@hanatiny @sansbun @hongism @multidreams-and-desires @smallfrye @aixy-hpsa @galaxteez @jongpleasure @simphwa @inkigayeo @heeseungluvs
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crackcrocs · 3 years
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DEATH WILL ONLY BE THE BEGINNING #1
1. The backbone to my emotions
As someone who  cannot conceptualise  time in any way whatsoever, I want to say sorry to my loved ones. I'm aware I still need to send my friends messages every once in a while and remind them I still want to be their friends and I need to actively work on this. I need to overcome this fear stopping me from being present and accepting peoples love and support. I want to break free from me and I want to feel content being on this earth, I want nothing more than to enjoy experiences with my loved ones. I love you I love you.
I am a young charismatic, creative individual learning to do things differently so I don't always have the same outcomes. I suffer from a Cluster B Personality Disorder; under the same umbrella of mental health I also experience extremely intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, that can become obsessive and compulsively hyper fixated thoughts in an instant. I have anxiety, depression and a lot of the time I’m deeply dissociated to a point where I struggle to believe I’m even real, even when I do know I am real- I have no attachment to my limbs or body as a whole and only feel alive in a spiritual sense or when I self harm. I don't want to get too into my illnesses; as I’m not someone who really likes labels, just know that everyday is a battle and each personality that exists within me is different. I wouldn't say drastically, however its evident for me and living with so many different masks can be intense. Especially when you've tried to convince people that you're just one solid mould in the hopes they don't perceive you as an intense person. I am going to try to take you through a few of my altars and moods starting with the emptiest subconscious alters that I call the backbones of my emotions to the more powerful  energetic ones that haven't managed to yet consume me over the years. I hope this can give people an insight.
Overall I present a pretty confident front, I like to appear like I’ve got my life together even though I’m so far from it, sometimes I’m not sure ill even find the strength to go on long enough in attempt to get my life together, which is a real problem but it's the sad truth. Don't waste time reading this if you're easily triggered as this piece of writing will consist of real and genuine feelings. I’m in no attempt trying to create content for people who enjoy turning blind eyes and wishing they didn’t see this so I’ll give you a fair warning. I'm not responsible for your triggers, whereas I’m responsible for the things I’ve done. I might have cared too much at one point, but I will not hold myself captive to those situations nor will I regret them. I want the lies, deceit and hurt that I’ve committed against loved ones to end, my secrecy has done enough damage and its exhausting pushing people away even though that’s not usually the intent, truth is I am so embarrassed of myself. I'm private, secretive and mysterious but I’ll also talk about my childhood trauma after like 5 minutes. I guess this says I’m happy to talk about my trauma because it's what I know and am comfortable with, I just struggle to tell anyone the real suicidal me behind my problems. I hate that I’m so young and feel like a dead person already.
I tend to act out or distance myself due to fear which isn’t clear at first if you know me, but does become obvious. I might appear as someone with no care in the world, like I’m unbothered, but I assure you that's the African pride combined with the Leo pride. I also don't want people to treat me like a footstool, which has happened when I’ve come off ass too passive. I care so much and over think absolutely everything, it's literally my only way of thinking. I have little to no self esteem and I have no clue who confidence is unless under the influence of something, be it weed, alcohol or psychedelics (which I don't take much of because I enjoy them and don't want to abuse them) I mean I can function sober, I don't even like to be out of control high or drunk, but as Chief Keef once said, I hate being sober. #i'mTrash4thereference. Although I’m not fully healed and functioning yet, I’m a developed character with both positive and negative traits. At the moment I’m going back and fourth between 'just stop trying' and 'you cant give up'. Sometimes depression is kind of like looking at yourself through a window, there’s this part of your brain that understands it'll pass, but you’re so far into despair that its impossible to see the way out, its a lot like being trapped. I am having a bad patch right now, the difference between this one and the last one is I’m more self aware with less of a desire to go on. At least I’m no longer suffering from paranoia and thinking everyone's out to get me all the time or that I’ll get trafficked walking home from somewhere, but depression and mania are so bloody invasive and there’s always that little voice in my head telling me ill never be good enough. Executive dysfunction kills my motivation because I have so many things to do and I cant pick anything to start first, it gets worse when my depression gets worse too. I'm not lonely though; I have a few people who care for me- and while I'm trying to not involve them in the metal episode, they are around to talk to and that means so much. My friends are super encouraging even though I've only briefly mentioned that I'm having a sad time right now, and that's awesome.
I hate that no matter how much better I get there's still this deep desire to get worse. I don't feel like a real person. I just feel like a collection of what people want me to be and various mental disorders. It would be so cool if I could admit to the world I have a personality disorder without feeling disgusting and without fear.
I've had plenty time to reflect upon every bit of thought that created the barbed wire surrounding my logical brain, I want to feel okay to be alive, but I so strongly just want to die. I am tired of fluctuating from feeling extremely vigorously suicidal to passively suicidal; where I just don't have the energy to carry it out myself. It's gotten way past the point that it doesn't matter what kind of day I have, I think about killing myself all day. Sleep is an escape from life and I'm always tired and wanting to 'sleep'. Deep down I feel like I’m waiting for the right time to end my life and it's not the right time yet because I still have a footprint to leave behind, I still have journal pages I want to burn. I cant just jump off the highest accessible building or mall car park I could find just yet- I don’t just want to ruin others by hurting them with my death. It's sad to think I grew into this mindset, waking up wishing I was dead.
Being abandoned by many people in the past made me doubt people and think everyone was out to get me or wanted something from me, it made me feel hurt and lone. So I felt it would be better to let people down before they could hurt me so I wouldn't repeat the same cycle when forming new connections. It wasn't intentional but I could just silence myself due to fear.
I just found myself feeling immensely hopeless, like I was too internally enraged at the external world to be able to trust anything of it. I definitely do want to get better because I’m tired of feeling this way, it's so exhausting and I hate pushing people away from me like I’m poison. I need to allow people to accept all of me.
Before picking up these coping mechanisms when I was younger and more insecure; I wanted to be a part of the world, I had this strong urge to fit in. I had to learn how to manage my anxiety and socialising became more exhausting stemming from my fear of being 'odd' or 'different', I didn’t want to be called out for being different- it was not a compliment at that age, it always felt like a being the joker in the card deck. I was intensely afraid of being judged or labelled as such. Being told I was a 'weirdo' didn't help at all, that type of criticism is what got to me the most. People made me feel like I needed to change, like I was too African, even in a joking manner it didn't help- because although I was okay with who I was, I did feel like I had to change and westernise myself to fit in. I ended up hanging around with people that didn't care, doing stupid things I didn’t even want to do, dating people I didn't connect with. Eventually I got tired of people using me for entertainment, tired of catering to those who refused to understand. I still have to admit there were many periods that I lowered my frequency to be on the wavelength of others that did not match mines at all, I hate that I'm someone who always feels the need to explain myself so people don't think I'm a bad person and even though I don't owe it to everyone and now I am able to make better choices and I'm no longer easily influenced, it still hurts that i was ever around people that made me feel like I was over exaggerating my mental health or uncomfortable to a point where I learned to downplay it or the mention of it. Now as a coping mechanism I’ve become so facetious and sarcastic about my trauma it's a struggle to take myself seriously at times. Users and abusers belittled me to such a point where I felt they'd underestimated my intelligence and most of all humiliated me. It made me tired of justifying myself so now most days I’m just a mute, but I really do finally have good people in my life who deserve some sort of explanation and it's a shame they don't get to be experience a truly present consistent me. It’s just after having the wrong eyes on me, I don’t want anything to see me. I hate attention because I’m so embarrassed of myself I don’t want to be noticed. People looking at me make me want to kill myself.
I've been told to move past my rage, to let go and become a grounded and level headed person. I've been told there is hope for all of us. Must be nice to believe that, all I could wonder was what it was like to get angry without getting homicidal and suicidal. Even on most days where nothing extreme would happen besides negative emotions, my brain still travelled to a dark realm. I've come to a point where I want to live in my daydream universe wile I physically rot away. That's my business. Sometimes I feel as though all my friendships are on a timer, or more so it's that my timer is about to go off, so I subconsciously shy away and make sure i have no deep friendships. Just in case my head decides to do something stupid.
I don't want to have no friends, I want to have friends and I do value friendships so much more than entitled relationships, I just have a difficulty maintaining friendships because it's exhausting for me, it takes a lot of energy to be social and on a level that isn't just superficial where I can just let go and allow myself to fully be. Sometimes I have a hard time relating to other people, and thus I may feel I don’t belong or don’t quite fit in- causing me to feel irritated, paranoid or even in pain during social situations. It's not always this bad, and I don't mean for it to sound dramatic. It's different when In person and I’m really relaxed and comfortable with the company. However virtually socialising and expressing will always be extremely anxiety enducing and its something I need to overcome especially going into this new phase of Artificial Intelligence.  So if I start to drift away it most likely isn't a reflection of you. The cycle goes I need alone time to recharge then I realise how long has passed and I just feel so bad I haven’t gotten back, I tell myself I’m an awful friend for dissociating for so long, and then I don’t know how to explain that so my anxiety rises, mood drops and I spiral back into a pit of depression, often wanting to relapse but refraining from doing so. Sometimes I manage to get out of the pit, but by then so much has piled up I don't know where or how to begin again.
I don't feel like I could have a normal friendship as well as romantic relationship. It's hard for me to long term imagine myself being fully relaxed enough to let my guard down and not reluctant to express. I don’t think there’s any condition where ill just be came and enjoy a connection without worrying that the other person isn’t putting in as much effort, or they have an image of me, or that I’ve amplified the emotions and even though I feel them that way do they really understand me or love me as much. Silence is so upsetting and I hate the fact I do it when I'm afraid of myself or don't feel good enough. I never intent for it to become 'the silent treatment' because in reality its not treating anyone, it's more a reflection of what I’m internalizing and not wanting or being unable to project and express those feelings without feeling like party pooper, an attention seeker or 'too deep'. I don't mean to give people false hope, I love the people in my life so much and every one I’ve met on this journey. I'm learning to look at life through a different lens and the people who contributed to my suffering will not be the definition of me. People have led me to believe so much and strung me along, not letting me go- and I realised those entitled controlling abusive relationships were not serving me. I couldn't keep doing it. Now even though I want closeness I end up pushing people away or leaving them in the dark because of fear, especially of something new because I've never experienced anything good and true for a long enough duration of time to rid me of that fear. I also have fear of rejection or hurting, I fear becoming too emotionally invested and becoming co dependant so I end up wanting to avoid the pain than actually wanting to experience the joy and growth the relationship could offer, so I end it before it begins to avoid any possible pain. I feel like I don't deserve these connections,and sometimes the depression runs so deep I have to push people away in case I want to do something stupid- I don’t want them to feel at fault, or obligated to be able to handle me. Sometimes I really can just only be with myself and my thoughts so I hide but it may appear that I’m pushing others away because of my isolation and neglect.
With everyone I know, I get this feeling that they're too good for me, their energy is so radiant and loving but I feel so broken and don’t want to depend on that. I've had perfectly ideal people come into my life and I feel they’re too good for me because I have a lot of work to do on myself first, primarily I need to build up confidence and self esteem because it's the root of most my issues. I want to relate to people, share our deepest fears and wishes without fear of judgement. It's not that I don't want to get better, I simply cannot remember what it was like to have an actual honest to god normal personality. The feeling of being a mentally unstable chameleon is all I have  now. I AM my illness, that's the only identifier I have left. I can't remember normality.
I understand that I’m lucky and I’m not ungrateful for the things and people I do have, it doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t suck because of those lucky things. I often think about if someone created technology to transfer life to another, I’d happily give them mine because they'd live it much better than me, I’m not worth anything to myself. I never wanted to be someone to cause pain on the people I love but now I do, even if that’s just through silence. I just disappear when I haven’t been doing well and  although I know things get better, recovery isn’t linear and that not all my days are bad, I just have extreme chronic feelings of emptiness.
I struggle to trust people because I don't want to be hurt but I need people so much, I hate feeling unloved. It's so overwhelming because I feel everything so extremely as if I’m going to explode.
My sense of self and reality feels destroyed, my future and dreams are uncertain and it's hard for me to move on, sometimes it scares me what I’m doing to people without the intention of it, being too much or not enough- or at least feeling that way. It's hard for me to give myself a reason and it's not on the people around me to fill my empty void, I hate forcing people to be my friend or understand my illness. I cant expect anyone to want to- it feels like I’m holding their hand while they pull it away; and even though it's not the case I feel awful, I constantly feel like I’m in a more pessimistic head space. I'm worried people will realise I'm as pathetic as I say I am.
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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years
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​ you didn’t even taste it. OR its too dark i cant see anything. for songxiao ty ty xxxxx
This is “You didn’t even taste it.” The other one will be decidedly sadder and will be posted later.
When Song Lan comes home the first thing he notices is that their apartment smells. The next thing is that Xiao Xingchen is apparently in the kitchen, which spurs Song Lan into action like nothing else can.
He rushes forwards, almost slamming into the doorway when he turns the corner and his biggest horror comes true right in front of his eyes.
Xiao Xingchen is cooking. In the kitchen. Handling actual food.
“No,” Song Lan presses out and darts forwards, catching Xiao Xingchen’s wrist as he’s about to dump something into the pot on the stove.
“Zichen,” Xiao Xingchen says, surprise clear in his voice, but Song Lan barely hears him, too occupied by surveying the damage already done to his precious pot and the kitchen in general.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he wants to know as he slightly pushes Xiao Xingchen away from the stove, and puts himself between his husband and everything he holds dear in the kitchen.
“Cooking,” Xiao Xingchen gives back, a slight frown marring his face and Song Lan supresses the urge to wring his hands in front of his body.
He can still hear the sizzling behind his back.
“What did we say about you and cooking?” he wants to know and Xiao Xingchen pouts at him.
“To not,” he eventually mutters out. “But you didn’t even taste it!”
“Babe, no offense, but with how it smells, I don’t think anyone should taste it. Ever.”
“It’s not that bad,” Xiao Xingchen complains and leans around Song Lan to peer into the pot. “I bet it’s edible.”
“I bet it’s a biohazard and shouldn’t come into contact with human skin,” Song Lan shoots back but he also pulls Xiao Xingchen close to press a soothing kiss to his cheek. “You know I don’t like it when you use the kitchen.”
“I took the old pot. I didn’t ruin your way too expensive one,” Xiao Xingchen gives back, and he’s still pouting, Song Lan can tell.
“That’s not even it, and you know it,” Song Lan replies and catches Xiao Xingchen’s hands in his to check them over.
The last time he was alone in the kitchen he had cut himself so deep they had to go to the ER to get some stitches. Song Lan is not keen on a repeat performance of that. He prefers his husband unharmed and whole.
“I didn’t hurt myself,” Xiao Xingchen lowly gives back, clearly knowing where Song Lan’s thoughts have turned to, and Song Lan sighs.
“Good,” he says as he peppers Xiao Xingchen’s hands with kisses. “Now please leave this room, it’s making me nervous,” he then says and Xiao Xingchen slaps his shoulder.
“You’re the rudest husband ever,” he complains and Song Lan drags him close with a hand low on his back.
“Say that again after you moaned about how delicious my food is,” he whispers into Xiao Xingchen’s ear and can feel him shiver against him.
“And now you’re just playing unfair,” Xiao Xingchen says and pushes away from Song Lan to leave the room like he has requested.
Song Lan itches to follow after him, to pull him down on the couch and make out with him until they both forget about food, but the sizzling behind his back makes the hair on his neck stand up and he spins around.
It only takes him a few seconds to come to the conclusion that the pot is a lost cause and needs to be thrown out completely, but to his immense relieve nothing else in the kitchen is broken. It seems like he came home before Xiao Xingchen had the opportunity to do any real damage.
Song Lan quickly tidies up and then gets some real dinner started. When everything is slowly cooking he goes in search of his husband.
“What prompted you to disregard my every plea anyway?” he asks when he finds Xiao Xingchen on the couch in the living room, sitting up straight and his arms crossed in front of his body.
“No, you were mean to me, I’m not telling you,” he gives back, but Song Lan can tell that he’s almost vibrating out of his skin with excitement.
“Aw, come on, babe,” Song Lan mutters and sits down next to Xiao Xingchen.
“No,” he says with an insistent shake of his head.
“What if I apologize?” Song Lan wants to know and Xiao Xingchen narrows his eyes at him.
“It would have to be a damn good apology,” he muses and Song Lan grins.
“I think I can manage that,” he confidently says and then crowds Xiao Xingchen into the couch, covering him with his whole body as he catches his mouth in a slow and deep kiss.
They loose themselves to this, for longer than both of them intended to, but eventually it tapers off to soft kisses that turn into nothing more than sharing space.
“So, why did you do it?” Song Lan mutters against Xiao Xingchen’s lips and he is not at all prepared for the way Xiao Xingchen beams up at him.
“A surprise,” Xiao Xingchen tells him and Song Lan slightly pulls back.
“A surprise?”
“We have something to celebrate and I thought making you a special dinner would be a good idea.”
“What do we have to celebrate?” Song Lan asks, and frowns when Xiao Xingchen pushes him away completely, so Song Lan has to sit up.
Xiao Xingchen is almost vibrating with barely concealed happiness and Song Lan can only think of one thing that would do that to his husband. Still, he doesn’t dare to get his hopes up.
“Xingchen, what do we have to celebrate?” he asks again and Xiao Xingchen beams at him.
“The adoption papers came through,” he says. “We can bring A-Qing home tomorrow.”
“Really?” he breathlessly asks, too afraid for a moment to let himself be happy, because it had been such a fight so far.
That they could come through so easily almost seems too good to be true.
“Really,” Xiao Xingchen promises and springs up to grab a letter off the table. “Here,” he says and thrusts the paper into Song Lan’s face.
And there it is, in black and white, the information that they get to be parents.
“Xingchen,” Song Lan mutters, too awed to get out anything more, but of course Xiao Xingchen understands him just like he always does.
“I know,” he laughs out, and then bounces on the spot. “We get to bring our girl home!”
Song Lan laughs at that too, and he takes Xiao Xingchen in his arms, spins him around in their living-room, both of them laughing in joy and maybe even shedding a tear or two.
They finally get to be a whole family now.
[Five senses sentence starters]
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How Do I Let Him Go?
Summary- 1.7k Dean x Y/N. Dean and Sam have one last job to do, and although not difficult, it hits a few personal notes with Dean. Angst. Mentions of Death. Written for @deanwanddamons​ 1k Follower Challenge. Congrats on your mile stone babes! Prompt is in Bold.
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It should have been a regular easy and shut case, Baby bring them into town, they hunt the creepy crawly that reared its ugly head, grab a burger and beer, then gone.
Should have been, but Dean wasnt placing his chips on that. Cause they were the Winchesters after all. Sammy and Dean, hunters extraordinaire.
So when you showed up in there motel doorstep after a case, rain pouring in the backdrop, your hair plastered to your face and dripping a puddle on the hooker inn motels ragged door mat, who was he to close the door in your face. “please, I need you.” Well, Dean considered looking at you, who am I to say no to a woman when shes uttering those words?
A step back, he allowed you in, going straight to the bathroom, and retrieving a towel to help you dry off, Pressing your face into the rough material and dragging it up into your hair, giving it a tousle, you ask “Wheres Sam?”
“He went to go get us some food, but he will be back soon.” Dean perched on the edge of his bed. “But why are you here Y/N? We already finished up our business here.”
“Yea with that, but I got a personal one.” You started, and fell into the past, explaining how you ONCE had a brother, and older overprotective brother whom you loved very much, even if at times he could be overbearing.
Dean cleared his throat, immensely glad right at the moment Sammy was not here, he would probably have a comment or two to add, although Dean considered himself pretty awesome and lax for the most part.
“You say Once... what happened?” Dean questioned when you paused, fisting your hand in the towel. Dean moved over to sit next to you, letting his hand brace against your back, the whole demeanor of your face had shifted, screwing up a bit. God the pain was still fresh after all this time, the guilt a heaviness that crushed your heart, sneaking up occasionally to leave you gasping for air.
“My boyfriend at the time wasnt a great person. And I was young, insecure, frankly I allowed myself to remain in a abusive relationship for the sake of ‘I love him’, I didnt know the difference then between Love and Control. Jacob tried to get me to see, but...” You shrug “I was blind to it. It got bad one night, and I called Jacob to come get me. Ron kept a gun in our apartment that I had no idea about, and pulled it on us when Jacob came to collect me.” You wring that towel in your hand until you could feel the weave give slightly, loosening enough to keep it from ripping and look over at Dean, who at this point stayed quiet, allowing you this chance at a weakness. “shot him, there was no saving him. He was gone before he hit the floor and Ron panicked. Ditched the gun and bolted. Police picked him up an hour later. I buried my brother, thinking I would never see him again. Fuck was I wrong.”
Dean had a feeling he knew where this was going, but pushed you to continue anyways. “But....?”
“You know, if I didnt just see you and Sam clean up at the school, I wouldnt be telling you this. But I see him and, shit I dont know how its gotten this way. Hes my brother, I should want to see him right? But the last two times.” You swipe at your face when the tears start making tracks, and Dean quick as ever reached towards the night stand, grasping a few tissues from the box and handed them over. “Thanks, right after I see him, my current significant other gets hurt or worst .”
“Worst?” Deans brows lift in question, his green eyes sparking in anger at your situation, this was obviously a situation that needed to be dealt with.
“First it was an accident, my boyfriend after Ron. Just enough to drive us apart. Casey, he was in a bad car accident, and when he was discharged, he grew distant. Once healed, he moved out. Then Tony... Fuck we had a row one night, and we both ended up getting physical with one another. I saw Jacob for a moment over his shoulder, I even almost convinced myself I didnt, it was my imagination, but Tony collapsed right in front of me. Doctors claimed his heart just blew, but he was the healthiest man I knew, It just didnt add up.”
It was this moment the Sam arrived back. Both of you glanced at the door when it clicked open and he stepped in, not realizing you were there for a moment. “Dean they didnt have those fries you wanted, but I did get- oh! sorry, Errr, I didnt know you had company.” giving a questioning look to Dean if he should leave, the older brother put that to rest quickly.
“This is Y/N, and after seeing how today went, she needs some help.” Dean gave Sam the basics, and Y/N just stayed quiet for the moment, Sams gaze fell back to you with a hint of sorrow, and gave a nod. “Yea, definitely sounds like something we can  help you with.” Giving a reassuring smile, he set the food down, and shrugged from his coat. Going to some of there supplies, he dug out an Emf reader, switching it on with a buzz of lights flaring red on top then settling back to just make a soft buzzing sound. “You dont mind do you?” Y/N gave a light shake of your head and Sam was quick to fall into an explanation while Dean pulled away, thinking back on all you told them.
“Your brother... Buried or Cremated?” Dean questioned once Sam finished. “Buried” You say simply and the two brothers exchange a look. “Where?” Sam asks and you tell them the local cemetery. So this will be an easy case, Dean considers, but he cant help but feel a tinge of regret for the dejected way you look, sitting on the edge of the bed your hands wringing together. Sam starts gathering stuff, and Dean shrugs on a coat, grabbing some salt and circling one of the chairs in the room with it.
“We will take care of it tonight Y/N, but I need you to stay right here.” Dean had you sit, and your careful not to break the line. Not sure why, but it seemed necessary. Before the man could step away, you reached out, and the tears that brimmed your eyes, although sadness were relief. “Thank you...its not going to hurt Jacob right... what you and Sam do?” You say simply and those green eyes of his soften, knowing what you were thanking him for what your asking him. Please, dont hurt my brother, I still love him, regardless of what hes done. His voice was gruff as he nodded. “Its going to be okay, we promise.” And with a slight squeeze of his hand, he let you go.
It was just as they suspected, Jacobs spirit had been unable to move on, stuck in this world with the belief that You were his job to watch over, just as Sammy was his job to watch over. Had been since he was 5 and John shoved that baby in his arms. Dean sighed as he was stuck in his thoughts about it, dumping salt over Jacobs body, Sam keeping watch with the sawed off shot gun. “Think this will take care of him for good Dean?”
“Of course Sammy, salt and burn. Cleanses everything.” Dean grunted while climbing out and digging in his pockets, he pulled out a matchbook from the hotel room. “Dad taught us that.” yanking a match and flicking it to spark, he waited till the fire was hot, crackling up the remaining matches and tossed it in. It went white hot in a quick blaze, then a steady orange, burning through even the rain pouring around them. It was morning by the time they were able to refill the hole.
Returning to the room, Sam and Dean found you wide eyed, perched on the edge of your seat. “Its-its done?” You question, a bit of a hesitant stutter in your voice, and Dean drags his foot through the salt. “Just one last check Y/N” Sam informs, and he digs out his Emf reader again, giving it a swipe over your body, clean. There was no warning flashes. Your eyes are wide as you look between the two men and Dean gives a nod. “Its all over Y/N, hes moved on.”
“Thank you” Your tears just cant be held back, and you hugged them both. “I dont know how to thank you. “
“Just stay safe” Dean says, and you take your leave.
Days later, Dean had gotten Baby packed, checked over the room, and was ready to head out of town. It was quiet between the two brothers, working as they always have, and probably always will. Riding out of town, passing the cemetery Dean catches sight of you standing at the freshly dug grave, and he whipped the car around right quick.
“We forget something?” Sam asks, and Dean just utters. “Gotta check on something.” It was then Sam caught sight of what he saw and nodded in understanding. Hoping out of the car, Dean made his way to where you were standing, his hands in his pockets.
“Y/N, you okay?” He asks quiet like as he comes to stand next to you. Your hand you have a simple flower, and you rest it atop of Jacobs stone.
“Thought my heart is broken, It still breaks everyday.” You say in response, looking up at Dean.”I thought I would feel different once this was over, but Dean, it still hurts. I miss him, even after everything, I know I should be happy, hes at peace. But now how do I let him go?” you confessed. “I dont know how to... “
Dean knew... that pain that ate at you, it never fully goes away, but becomes a part of your life, just like breathing. He doesnt have the heart to tell you that though, and his arms envelopes you, leaving you to sink into his embrace and holds you steady as the sobs rack your body, falling into you sorrow in this strangers arms.
tags- @official-and-unstable-satan​ @kimisama1989​ @p8tn0lish​ @deanwanddamons​
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breaniebree · 4 years
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A Second Chance Chapter 219
I received an amazing number of reviews on this chapter and I wanted to share them/address some of them here to show my immense appreciation for those who take the time to drop me a line or two for what I write.
Some of you have decided after this chapter you can no longer follow my story and while it saddens me, I expected it.  I write first for myself and I know where I want this story to go and while I hope you all keep reading it -- I know that not everyone will continue it. 
Devereaux13: I can’t. You really just did that to us? Started this story with a oh! Sirius is gonna live! But NOO u had to frick us all over. Oh my god. I love you for this story but hate you for this story. I cried more this time than the cannon one. Goddamn
Lightningscar: Huh, well, judging from the reviews, this chapter is getting you a lot of heat... personally, I though it was great in many ways, both in action, description of thoughts/feelings and great descriptions of what was going on. My biggest beef, though, gotta be this: *Ginny grabbed Luna's hand and the two of them climbed onto the wolverine's back* Ehm, it is likely it was explained in previous chapters, and if memory serves, Animagi are generally slightly larger than their natural counterparts, but... a wolverine is generally about the same size as a medium dog, shoulder height being around 30-45 cm (12-18 inches), 65–107 cm (26–42 in) long (not counting the tail). Basically, Ginny and Luna are crawling on top of a Spaniel or a Golden Retriever (on the small size) Yes, wolverines are ridiculously strong compared to their size, capable of carrying prey many times its own size... carrying dragging it. One big difference between carrying something in its powerful jaws, compared to carrying something heavy on its back. A few other minor beefs Ehm, why did Voldemort pull a Jafar on the cat (Lady G, was it?) and not outright kill it? So they got giants wandering down mid London without anyone being the wiser? I'm sure you have thought of the logistics about it :) Well, all in all, great chapter. Things have advanced rapidly compared to canon, for better (less Horcruxes) and worse (Ministry bye-bye)... though, in the latter case, it can be interpreted somewhat ambigious. Fallen as in the place (which was a given, seemed to be completely overrun suddenly... makes one wonder where all of the defence forces went, guess we will find out sooner) or if it has fallen as an orginazation like they did in canon. Curious to see what happens next. Yours sincerely, Lightningscar
Menna Taha: Ok let me just say.. Sirius was going into battle with the intent to save his son, knowing that his Fiancée who he was very much in love with was pregnant with TWINS. I mean you’d think he would be more careful than in the books where he was reckless, lonely, rusty and under house arrest in a place he hated. Also the ministry fell! Just like that! After all the preparation and the relations with the french, Bulgarian and Russian ministries AND the fae and the army they made AND the warning they recieved! What were they fucking sleeping! I love you please don’t hate me.
They were not sleeping, but they weren’t prepared like they should have been.  It’s a problem that will be addressed.
HGRHfan35: Well...shit... This was a really bad idea: to read this in bed. How the blazes do you expect me to sleep, now?!
Daddy: WTF! Why end it here. WHY!
Wade Bradford: Noooooooooooooooo!
AZfangirl: i cant believe you killed sirius. this one really hurts
Ofglitterandgiggles: I’m broken
axelvaz: Started this about a week ago and I’m finally all caught up! But oh my gosh! What a cliffhanger! Sirius!
Emeralds and Rubies: I thought we might get off easy when Pettigrew fell through the veil, butI’m heartbroken for Harry and Zee, but you definitely did this whole plot point justice.
maximusrexmundi: Eeeeeehhhhh so I was with you until the very end. I just can't imagine a Voldy who is objectively in a weaker position (than in the books) being able to muster a force that could attack and defeat a FULLY prepared ministry who both knew he was coming AND had international allies
Runningtwiceasfast: I have to say I am incredibly impressed with this chapter. I am obviously sad as I was in canon when Sirius died but due to the more uplifting tone of your work overall that you would shy away from a turn like this. Sirius' death is so important in canon a it really is a turning point in the story. Obviously when Cedric died it was sad but Sirius' death made everything all the more real. Your Harry has gotten so much more of a life and childhood than canon Harry but he too is now faced with the reality of life without Sirius. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Joanne: Wow! I’m so sad. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin in honour of Siri. I had hoped that this part of canon would be ignored but alas. War is war. Amazing storytelling: you made us feel this loss and that takes talent. I both dread and look forward the next chapter. Will Harry take Ginny with him? Will the breakup occur? Did Remus and Tonks make it out? Will there be a funeral? So many questions! Enjoy your birthday and rest while we all grieve.
Ahugefun: I need you to undo sirius death. Im not joking He shouldnt Not with zee pregnant and harry so attached to him Its not fair to us the readers who enjoyed your story so much andddd already mourned sirius a little bit when he was kissed before you changed that.. Im hoping that you wont kill remus and tonks in the end of the war. U are your own story and if somthing happen in jkr world doesnt mean it should here!
Everything that happens in JKR’s world is what inspired me to write my story so of course it affects it.  Some will be the same, some will not -- includes character death.  Not everyone will die who did in canon, but some will, and some who survived in canon, will die here.  
jakegarrett94: nooooooo not sirius
Leaf Ranger: ...I'm sorry...but this...this is exactly why I called fucking bullshit in the last chapter. Because of all this. This. My problem isn't the pacing of your story. My problem is all this death and carnage and bullshit happened...not because of something realistic...but because the Grey lady, for no reason, was a cryptic dumbass. That is my problem. While it'd be hard to swallow, I'd have accepted most of what happened in this chapter if there was an ACTUAL reason, in the story, as to why they weren't able to be told where the diadem was. but there wasn't. The only reason was solely because YOU wanted it that way. And it's your story, fine, but at the very least, there should be a damn good reason WHY, in the story itself, things happen the way they do. It should never...EVER be just because you, the author, want it to happen that way. because then it breaks the immersion of the reader, if something happens solely for the sake of you, the author, having it happen that way. *sighs* To be honest? I'm sorry, but this, this just is too much. You killed off Sirius and had the Ministry fall DESPITE the preparations they had already made, despite the warnings they had. That just...no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm done. Thanks for what was a pretty entertaining story up to this point, but after this? Just nope. It's not worth it. It really isn't.
Sorry to hear that, but again, it is obvious to us the readers where the diadem is, but not to them.  The Grey Lady can be cryptic if she wants as she’s dead and has nothing to lose, it’s up to our heroes to find the answer.  Sorry you feel it’s not worth it, thanks for reading as long as you did.
Redplayer1998: Please tell me it's a trick sirius can't be dead not after 200 chapters of building his character please no
Dutchie: Oh man Sirius died, bummer! Still a great story.
Whiton: Hey I’m a bit late but I wanted to say happy belated birthday. I love this story it’s fun it’s sad it’s thought provoking and is just a wonderful thing to read. Hope this finds you well and hope you keep writing.
AkashiyaHyrule: What the... this can't be it. What's the point of creating all that military platoons, and gathering allies-if the Ministry are just going to fall so fast? This feels waaay to early for this story plot to occur. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully you got a plan that works, and it's believable. It's also in my opinion that if Sirius Black's "death" is true (hope it's not), Zacharias should not be with anyone else or find someone else to replace him. I suspect you might do something of that nature. You haven't shy away from all the random romances that occurs, even in minor characters. Don't think I haven't notice your tendencies to ship characters! Anyways, it would be annoying, weird, not the same, awkward, and off-putting. I hope that will never happen. But then again, this your AU, so you have the final say on what you want to implement. I invested a lot of my time in this piece of fanfic, so I don't wish for it be ruined by very disagreeable choices (it's all subjective, of course). I mean no disrespect, as I know writing is a tough pastime, and you deserve to be commended for the amount of time you put into your AU. So, good luck. You deserve your break, and hopefully things will be explained Chapter 220! P.S: He's really dead, isn't he? I guess I would have to expect the death of Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown (at least in the movies), Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Dobby, etc, etc. P.S. Why the hell am I just naming character deaths?
Guest: There . Are . No . Words. Saz J
Guest: I, like so many other readers here, have absolutely loved the changes you have made to the story of Harry & Sirius - it has been a wonderful story that we have looked forward to reading every week. However, as much as I love your story, I am upset and disappointed that you had this last chapter play out the way it did. You have, for 218 chapters, written about great changes and strengths for Harry, all the others, and especially Sirius. To have this last chapter happen almost like the original version (book & movie) is a bit of a let-down to your earlier chapters. I will still look forward to reading your story, but maybe without the enthusiasm I have had this past year.
KittenWithAnAx: damn it! I'm crying! Why do I always hope that Sirius survive? even when I watch the movie I hope he don't die! I hate and I love you! yes A break is need! let us mourn in peace! my baby died! and I know that in two weeks I will be back! because I'm too curious and I love how you write! I will still mourning Sirius but I will be back... anyway I will go cry in the shower! have a nice two week break! (and Happy Birthday!)
Blitz90: Hello Breannie ! First of all, I wanna say that your story is awesome ! I really like many of the change that you bring to the HP world! Congrats on that ! Now, about chapter 219, nice chapter all around but I felt that the training they got change nothing but maybe because of the stress to fitgh Death Eater explain it to... maybe you can show me the light on this ? Second, the death of Sirius... I must say that I am disapointed about that. I know that you said in the beginning that it will be ultimately a Hinny story but for me, Sirius was the heart and soul of you fiction. Lets hope that he is just in shock or king of a coma !
Qarz: You put a lot of effort into this, writing so many words is nothing to sneeze at and it shows dedication. However, you don't seem to understand that actions have reactions. If you make changes in Canon then the whole story has to change to make any modicum of sense. You didn't do that and the more than 1.5m words are a waste since it led to the same place and somehow things are even worse than in said Canon. I truly pity those who read this huge story just to be disappointed.
nesciamema: Kinda disappointed by Harry's shoddy fighting since they've all been training for a while, the only one who seemed to be thinking strategically was Ginny before she was taken out. Hoping Zee doesn't miscarry and fights for the babies rights as heir to the Blacks. No way in hell should any Malfoy hold the title with what just happened.
goldenone: thank you for posting this on my birthday it was a great gift but also HOW COULD YOU IMA CRY
aj613: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I was hoping Sirius would be spared holy shit oh my god whyyy? Amazingly written as always, BUT WHY?! THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND HARRY CALLED HIM DAD I—
Rufus777: I understand why you had to kill Sirius. But it still makes me sad. Well written as always. I've been a fan since chapter one. I had forgotten about the Dursley stuff. Good on you to remind everyone of those memories. Keep up the awesome -rufus
kyle.grimm90: I am so sad that Sirius died again... I was really hoping he would survive this time. I love you story is so addictive but I wish that would have gone different. I was so excited he didn’t go through the veil I was jumping for joy and then wammm he died. I won’t stop reading but it killed me when he died.
Haillie: WHAT! OH COME ON!
yunkol76: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for the present! Now time to enjoy another GREAT chapter
coloredwords: First things first. A very happy birthday to you. I hope you have (had) a wonderful day. Second I wish you no riot reviews for your birthday. As much as I want to know what happens next, I respect you too much to shout and riot. But what a chapter! Damn. When Peter fell through the curtain I thought for a second Sirius would be safe. But alas. My last hope lies within some time turner or time room miracle. And all of a sudden we skipped right to the beginning of DH. I'm so curious to see what happens next. Have fun writing and enjoy your two weeks off. I will be here, waiting patiently.
Fruitcake49: I would rather this entire chapter be a nightmare. Why do Sirius and Harry always get the short dirty end of the stick? Such terrible childhoods and Sirius has to die leaving Harry alone. I gotta tell you if anyone other than a character in a story were put under this much pain and unhappiness they would crack and cease to function. As much as I like this story, Harry needs Sirius. I'm tired of people killing him off.
Steelcode: NO NO NO NO NO! HE WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED...HE HAS KIDS! WHAT ABOUT HARRY'S KIDS! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS' FUTURE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE PLEASE!
X.pix.X: Happy birthday, and great chapter
Undead Gothic Princess: you are mean and a god all at once! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this, then took a sigh of relief when pettigrew died cuz I thought "hey, Sirius will be fine now, he survived!" then wham! I dont think he's really dead dead though. they'll either be a way so that it was polyjuice or maybe they use a time turner. something better happen so that he just appears through the front door/hospital wing and is like "whys everyone so down when my hansome face is here?!" please let it be true, otherwise I dont think I can go on in this cruel world xxx
HarryPotterLover2422: Such an amazing chapter! I have enjoyed reading this story for quite some time now and look forward to each new chapter. I am so sad with what happened to Sirius, but I am looking forward to what’s to come! I loved the Lucius called Theo his son that was amazing! I think one of my favorite things about this story, other than how amazing it is, is how you humanize especially the Malfoy family in terms of Draco and Theo. Amazing as always! Happy belated birthday! Can’t wait for more! ️
Leo: Happy Birthday! I was so excited to see that you have written this chapter, until I read it, I can't believe you've hit us with the double whammy. This chapter both made me cry and amazed at your incredible writing skills. I hope you carry on and finish this story. However, most importantly, please, please please, please, puppy eyes please can you post the chapter. I know you said you won't but imagine puppy eyes, you know you can't say no to that. Keep us the brilliant work.
I am imagining puppy eyes, but no, I’m sorry.
GoldenPotterFan: Chapter 219 and the first time I am commenting. Started reading this story between Christmas and New Year 2018 and read all chapters up to then by the time I went back to work. Since then I have waited for updates every week. Somehow, I don't believe that Sirius is dead. Just a feeling I have. I also think Lucius might be working against Voldemort while still not quite working for the Order. I would not be surprised if he saves Sirius somehow. I cannot wait for another update. PS Happy Birthday, I hope you had a great day :)
devonleney27: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the gift of this chapter, sorry I didnt get you anything!
DoodleBug78: OMFG cannot believe that! Really?!
witchyromy: mmmm i would have thought that with the time living in the magical world, and all the extra training harry has done, with sirius and remus and mischa and the rest of the group as well in the extra defense lessons that this would have gone better, they almost only used stupify and some 1st year spells. The whole thing is 80% the same as the original... i have to say i am a bit disappointed.
Sorry to hear that, but I kept what I needed to keep in there for a reason and I hope you will stick around to see that, but if not, well thanks for reading.
Guest: Welp, I’m crying. I’ve been following this story for a while, and honestly didn’t expect to be so upset about Sirius’ death, again. You’ve done wonderful work at recreating this moment. There are so many tiny complexities in this rendition and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Hoping zee’s fall didn’t hurt those babies. Thank you for your work. ️
snowball0709: Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day:) Now to the story.. HOW COULD YOU KILL SIRIUS? This story is all about his second chance! And the wedding, the twins... come on, siriusly! I really hope you have something up your sleeve and that he miraculously lives somehow. Can't wait to read the next chapter!
Lolikiano: I'm so excited you posted early! I can live with the cliffhanger as an exchange! Your stories have inspired me to write my own fanfiction and I can't thank you enough for that! I'm looking forward to your next update in two weeks! P.S. I love the "Surprise" pregnancy (which i TOTALLY called when Zee got ill!) I can't wait to read Harry's reaction!
Maggie1874: I'm so sad and disappointed that Sirius died. I was really hoping he'd live in your story.
Krazyasibe: Happy birthday! But why would you do that! I love Sirius!
alix33: No need for anyone to shoot Nott senior in his undersized wanker, Ginny will just have bat bogeys coming out of it rather painfully (and satisfactorily for us readers) in a jiffy. Dumbles had sweet fanny adams to do with the six being able to turn into animaguses. I like Lady Godiva's way of dealing with Death Eaters far better than I do any of the light side's humans' only effective for a couple of seconds stupefying. That vile bitch Bellatrix killed Sirius! I wonder which charm was used on the statue which made it keep Harry away from Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior.
wheezing-reader: Happy Birthday! Your story is probably one of my all-time favorite fics! Saying that WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! No. This is not okay. I'm not okay with this.
Josh: Can't believe you killed Sirius! Hope something miraculous is going to happen. This is supposed to be about "A Second Chance" for him, so he needs to be alive!
Menna Taha: Happy birthday! But still how fucking dare you
jmdaz44: I know Sirius canon-ly dies in the fifth book but I was hoping you’d spare us somehow, especially after the proposal and pregnancy. Instead you were just fattening us up to be slaughtered. You’re cruel. I love the story and your writing but it hurts. It hurts. I truly hate your Bella. I should have waited to read this until this evening because now I feel like my whole day is ruined and it is just starting. I hope you’ve got something feel-good planned because I’m pretty down on this right now. I guess that parallels where we are in the story; things are getting real and nothing is for certain anymore. Hope is a dangerous thing.
alyson3il: First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day, and short hiatus to get everything straight! Second of all, WHHHHYYYYYY?! WHY? Why? Y? y? WHHYYYY! I thought Sirius would be SAFE, you lured us into security with Peter, but then it just HAD to happen. I got my hopes up that it wouldn't be him, he had Zee, he had the twins on the way, HE WAS GONNA GET MARRIED! I get that things happen, BUT THIS THING DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN, or maybe it did. You're the author, you have a plan in place, and you know what you're doing. I'll just be hurt for the next two weeks.
Miss Elyon: 1) Happy birthday dear ! All good for you! 2) Thad Nott - It was too late! (I loved that Lucy killed this son of a troll) And Wormtail ... I'm sure you will be very well received in hell! 3) Bella ... fucking crazy bitch ... something will come to you and it won't be pretty! 4) More importantly - You made me cry so fucking hard with Sirius. I went into depression until you post again. I truly love your story (although it makes me cry like a baby!). The pain at his death was more brutal than the book. I know you have something planned (I hope) and I will be reading (with a sniffling nose) the next chapter! To cure this chapter I'll read the whole story again and cry all over again ... I think I like to suffer ... kkkk See you in the next chapter ;)
chefke: o.m.f.g. omfg. I'm freaking out
xcherry91x: OMG NOOOOOO! I was hoping that Sirius wouldn’t die. I cried when I read that. The babies! They gots no daddy
SuperBossy: Not happy at all.
rolly21: I can’t believe you killed Sirius. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t.
LilyBlack18: I was so not expecting that. I was sure Sirius wouldn't die . My god, reading his death again was pure torture. At least Harry still have Zee, Remus, etc. I'm so sad, though... I really thought you wouldn't keep that part of the story, and you gave me false hope when Peter died x)
greg.is.wilson: You are evil.
Mutt N. Feathers: Yes my dear, I do trust authors. Needless pain is never inflicted by them. I made readers think I killed Sirius too, but instead had other plans. You love him too much. I live in hope. Mutt
supersandman86: Oh man! Not Sirius! He just got his life to perfection. Loving son, a fiance and a child on the way. Nice to see Wormtail redeem himself by shoving zee out of the way and Thaddeus got what he deserved. Now we just need to give Crouch and Bellend Lestrange pain that even they can't endure. This was always the dark point in the whole franchise in my opinion, where Harry felt the most hopeless. Let's see how it goes.
Sirius black411: You are so cruel...so so soooo cruel. They were going to get married...have twins and raise them.. How could you?! I can't imagine what Zee must be going through but she is still there for Harry. She will be a great mother.
Wodril: This Sirius didn't really seem like the guy to be done in while taunting. Not being hit by the killing spell, and the whole "he'll writhe in pain as he dies" spiel makes it a bit more uncertain. I never really appreciated him coming back to life after the dementors, and kinda hope, for the sake of the story, he'll stay dead this time. He will probably show up as an inferi anyway?
Jewels46: Omg... I’m crying! You’ve reduced me to tears. I know it was a very real possibility, but I hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fruition even though I understand the significance. I do really like how you wrote his death though, a much more fitting end. The bit you added with Peter had led me into a false sense of security that the lovable mutt would be safe. I just can’t even right now. Wonderful chapter. I’m going to cry some more and eagerly await the next one
Dianne: Yes I need atleast 2 weeks to emotionally reconstruct myself after this bombshell of a chapter. Deep breaths in and out. Curious about how you've brought a 7th year canon event now itself. I'm not sure I even took in everything coz I was crying so hard and couldn't read clearly, was reading this at clg and I surprised everyone by suddenly crying out loud and sobbing :'( and everyone was baffled when I said one of my most favourite characters just died painfully and I was crying for that, but they don't understand the power of reading or the power of HP thankyou for an early update and kudos you're an amazing writer!
purplevictory: That wasn't nice. I mean, happy birthday and everything, but did your present to yourself really have to be the torture of your fans? I know Sirius will be fine, I just don't know how you're planning to get there. Thank you for the early chapter. But, when your birthday celebrations are over you really ought to write "I will stop being mean to my readers" 50 times. You don't have to use a blood quill.
Write lines as punishment?  I don’t have time for that, I need to write the next chapters.
xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Noooooo I can’t believe that after all this you still killed Sirius! When his life was finally all good with babies on the way!
eternal king of fire: wow this chapter was a tear jerkier poor sirus and zee
speedsONEandONLY: No. Nope. No. I refuse to see this as a real chapter. None of this happened. I mean what was the point of letting them be happy, of getting rid of the Horcrux early. Only to fucking destroy them. To make him want to sacrafice, kill himself anyway. This chapter didn't happen. This is a "what couldve been" I doesn't make any fucking sense. Nor does it for the narrative. So, No. I refuse to think, Believe, You could be so heartless to characters/people you love. That you made us love. I don't see anyway how the story Could really go on, if this chapter actually happened. It reads more like the last Twilight movie from when Aro rips off Carlisles head. Sorry, but no.
Sorry, I guess I’m heartless.  Comparing me to Twilight though, that’s heartless. 
Ari Black-18: I know that this is a war, but please let Sirius escape death again, don't do this please, please make this better, tell me that Remus and Tonks somehow save him, tell me that even tho he is in bad condition he's still alive, don't leave his twins and Harry without a father, don't live Zee without her love, don't rip away Remus's brother from him, give him a second chance from the original story, let him be there with Harry at the end, the world it's already too shitty for it even to suck in a fanfic. Call me naive or delusional, but I actually believe that this is not over, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do this, your story it's to damn good to lose such a character just like that, so I know you are going to fix it, you're going to pull a surprise under your sleeve and make us love it so much. I believe in you, I mean you wouldn't just kill Sirius like that, not this Sirius, your Sirius. I trust you, I know you wouldn't do this. Please enjoy your break, chill, eat a lot of snacks, maybe even party a little, and then, please, bring our uncle Siri back.
Seriuslypadfoot: Hey Breanie, very well written as per usual. I hope Sirius isn’t actually dead, as this story is one of the few Sirius and Harry fics that I have thoroughly enjoyed and don’t want his character to end this way. Powerful moment with Malfoy in this chapter, but I wish he showed more backbone and fully went against the death eaters like his family wants. Again, hope Sirius doesn’t end here, the death will really hurt the story in my opinion. But this is your story so write it how you will. Thanks for your hard work!
Thank you!  Malfoy doesn’t have much of a backbone, but I do have a plan for him.  I’m sorry you feel that Sirius’ death hurt the story, I think it’s important for what’s next.
DetroitNate: A review? I hated this chapter. Oh the writing is great as usual, but what happened in it? I hated, loathed, detested it. I hope justice comes and comes quicker than Hinny did in this story cause it is getting too difficult to read of how these vicious bastards seem to get away with anything they want. JKR did two things I can't stand in canon kill off Sirius and Fred and now I'm wondering if this story will follow her on that pattern... I hope not, I really do.
Thank you and I promise, justice will come quicker than Hinny -- as in it won't take another 197 chapters, maybe 196, just kidding! 
Paola1991: So is this death for real or is he coming back? I mean you tricked us once. I guess i kind of assumed you’d never kill him off because it was kind of a sirius fix it story? Where he gets a better life? This took me by surprise. Its primarily why i hate book 5. I thought someone else was gonna die instead. Hes the one character i would never kill i guess. Especially with zee having his kids! Not sure how i feel.
Guest: can i honestly beg something? can you please bring back sirius alive? please? i know u wont do it.. u have a plan with ur story... but as a big big fan of ur story im really really begging will u please?
Queen Raja: Wow. And I thought the book’s death was heartbreaking! Seriously, bravo. I don’t cry easily, and this chapter made me UGLY cry! Waiting until two weeks will be very hard, but I’m glad you’re able to take some much deserved time for yourself and Dusk. Happy Birthday, Breanie!
Maisie: how and why could you do this to mee im cryinggg please say its looking better in the next chapter
midnitewanderer: Dumbass went and reread it. Not gonna lie, it was a brilliant chapter but I am still this close to hunting your ass down and forcing to rewrite Sirius back in. Where’s my angry emoji when I need it. I can’t help but feel that you wrote Zee the way you have specifically for this chapter. Not only does she come into their lives and becomes the best pseudo mom ever written in any HP fanfic, she basically adopts Harry into her entire family. Sure there’s stories out there with the Weasley’s treating him as one of their own but not like this. ZEE’S ENTIRE FAMILY ADOPTS HARRY. Your sneaky ass has been prepping us from the beginning of her intro! He calls them all Grandad/Grandpa, Grandmama/Grandma, etc. so that eventually he sees that he’s never truly alone. Then enter the Weasleys, McGonagall, Rem&Tonks, Andi&Ted, Dumbles, Nev, Lu, Mione, he’s surrounded by so much love. I just know the next chapter is going to be hard for me seeing as I’m a crybaby but damn it to hell, I can’t wait. 2 whole weeks. What am I gonna do?
Thank you.  I guess I was kind of sneaky like that, wasn’t I? 
Zacnelson0628: Breanie... I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen. Still really sad though. I hope you kill of bellatrix in a spectacular manner.
I will do my best -- I do know exactly how it will happen and who will do it.
notthatchhavi: Oh, wow!  I don't know what to say!  This was a extremely well-written chapter When Lucius said that Theo was his son...it was such a moment I went ooooooohhh Well other then that..I cried I literally cried when Sirius died and yes I am still in denial I hope atleast Remus and Tonks will be okay.. Harry needs some support from one father When Sirius died.. it broke my heart.. Harry calling Sirius Dad.. and Sirius saying that Harry was the best thing ever happened to him I feel that he was not saying that just to Harry.. it was to James too because the Potters were the best thing which happened to Sirius I feel really bad for Zee...being pregnant with your fiancée's children and then him dying is not an easy thing to go through But the most importantly...this chapter made me cry I have read many fanfictions.. but i have never cried.. they might have been super good.. but has never made me cry I think the ability for a writer to make the reader both and laugh and cry is extremely important and difficult...I think by this story you have proven yourself as a damn good writer
Having Harry call him dad was vital and every time I tried to change it, I came back to it.
josht1987: Just know, that I am very mad at you you right now. We'll see what happens after the next one. An extremely well written chapter, but... You know what you did.
Daerwin45: not Sirus oh please he is so important it was going so good im sorry i am just a fan and it has been such a great story i did not mean to question your reason. i just was enjoying harrys and Sirus' relationship.
PotterBlondie: Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting Sirius to die! Or for anything to go this badly in one chapter! I hope he gets to escape death again? Pretty please? I hope you had a wonderful Birthday!
midnitewanderer: Nope. I’m done. I’m done. I AM FUCKING DONE! I will have no more toilet tissue by the end of the night. My chicken is currently burning on the stovetop. My emotions are freaking fried right now. Not only was he... UGH! I can’t. I literally can’t right now. I know this is fiction and whatnot, but my heart is hurting. How in the hell did I get so emotionally invested in this damned story?! Now, I’m going to remove my burning chicken and cry in a corner.
scrappy8: OMG what a chapter Poor Sirius is gone
Covley Hatake: Please let Sirius some how had lived. I like cheered when Pettigrew went in the veil instead and then that. You like ripped my heart out with Sirius. Like come on. Still good story but wanted Sirius to be there for the happy ending. I picture Harry though being the best big brother to those babies and protecting the hell out of Zee and the babies. Betting she tells Harry soon as well. Also question if he is dead what does that mean for them claim the Black title? With out him to claim them they would be seen as illegitimate and as the deal with Malfoy was made he could take it? curious on that one.
akshutalankar: well this is a really bad chapter to be posted on birthday... plz give us next soon... make Sirius alive pretty please
shooter124: O my god, I am crying. Please don’t take Sirius from us, Zee needs him and so does Harry! However that death scene was crazy good. I’m hoping that you have this elaborate plan as to why Sirius had to fake his death or something. Please please please say he is still alive, Sirius and Zee have not finished their story yet and Remus needs his best friend. This is my favourite story I have read on FF, you are a fantastic writer and I get excited every time you post!
Wolf's scream: Nice set of Bat-Bogeys, Miss Weasley! Yeah, a ticked-off wolverine is NOT something I'd prefer to cross. Greengrass is there? That's ... something I was not expecting. Yeah, Theo's advice to smash the Prophecy seems pretty sound to me. (With the possible caveat that certain DEs might lose whatever semblance of control that they have...) Seriously, Hermione? That's not a "baby." And in any case, Petrification is not intrinsically harmful: it merely decreases the probability that the Petrified one will pose a danger to himself or others. Sheesh. Somebody needs to get her priorities sorted. :-) I'm a little surprised that the DEs that trapped the teenagers in the Brain Room were using less-than-lethal spells. Granted, I'm rather glad that they did, but I don't understand whys. Well..! Lucy IS good for something, I guess... It's rather a pity that Harry hadn't smashed the Prophecy and grabbed another as a decoy. :-} Oh! What would happen if Harry were to chuck the Prophecy through the arch...? Ah - excellent move, Lady G! :-) Remus was dueling Dolohov? But Harry had Petrified Dolohov just a bit ago... maybe another DE released him, or the spell wore off? So - the Rat did something useful before departing... BTW, a fairly effective dueling technique might be to blast the floor/ground out from under one's opponent. Or merely make it incapable of supporting the opponent's weight. Especially if one is in a structure and not on the bottom floor. Well, at least there's no ambiguity at all regarding Sirius's fate. :-/ Well, laughing at Bella is a pretty good way to ensure that she's even more off-balance, yeah. It's good that Dumbledore addresses Tom by his given name (vs. the nom de guerre that he made up)
Guest: You cant do this Sirius can't be dead! Please let him live! P.S. happy Birthday Seriously though bring Sirius back.
dhnysports88: for the love of god tell me they planned to fake his death, DON'T DO THIS TO US
minerdude: Wow this is a great story, even if you killed Sirius, although with the next chapter I hope we discover thinking he was dead was part of the fog of war. If Sirius is dead it was truly well written to get our guard down by sending Peter though the veil
Old-fashionedAnglophile: What. The. ACTUAL. HELL?! Are you trying to destroy us? And you're making us wait for it? Damn your excellent and captivating writing. I'll be waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.
Thank you (I think).
littlehughesy: WHY? Why must you keep killing off characters that I love!? It's like Game of Thrones all over again! I get that it is canon for Sirius to die at the Ministry, but for fuck's sake can't Harry just have a little less suffering for once? For the love of God, if you kill Remus and Tonks in this story, I am done. Just done. I cannot handle my emotions right now. Okay, venting over. As much as I don't like it, your story is still fantastic. And hey, cheers for the early update and happy birthday!
Atea1793: You... are... absolutely... evil... YOU KILLED SIRIUS, KILLED DEADALUS DIGGLE, LEFT ZAHIRA A PREGNANT WIDOW BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT MARRIED, MAY HAVE LEFT HARRY AN ORPHAN AGAIN, AND HAD THE MINISTRY FALL A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER THAN IN CANON?! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE AS SICK IN THE HEAD AS VOLDEMORT IS! Excuse me while I spend these next two weeks gathering a mob to go after your twisted ass. The Death Eaters will seem like playground bullies when we come for you...
Guest: Omg. Omg. You actually killed Sirius. I cried. I honestly would have rather see Remus die, but maybe that’s what makes this story stronger and more intense. I definitely need 2 weeks to process this. Poor Zee and poor Harry.
lcwintersoldier: Goddamit how could you kill Sirius :'(
LifeonEarth: Oh come on you hand to bring Marauder into this. This hurts.
I’m sorry, but I thought Marauder deserved to be in Harry’s thoughts.
White Squirrel: Why does everyone feel the need to kill off Sirius even when there's good reason for events to play out differently? Honestly, this whole section felt like it wasn't up to your usual standards. You copied so much from the book, even when they had different people there and a different plan. It would have made more sense and wouldn't have been that hard to choreograph a different battle sequence.
I felt that it was important to keep it similar which I will explain later on, but of course you’re entitled to your opinion.
love reading20613: Oh god no please no
alistark94: What an ending! I gotta say I'm suprised you still killed off Sirius. Great story by the way!
Anixara: Wow, I find this story just in time for the latest chapter to be THAT. God damn it. Now I have to figure out if waiting for the next chapter is even worth it with how much that fucked with my emotions.
Breaniefan: This was so unrepresentative of your characters to just shove them back into JK's exact plot. This Harry would never have been so impulsive, Ginny and Theo would have escaped, the well trained Order would have been quicker on the mark and more effective. This was just lazy writing, taking so much of the original story and just shoehorning it in - I'm so disappointed! Also why the fuck would you kill Sirius? The whole point of fanfic is to FIX those stupid character deaths from the original, not go and do it again. I've followed this story from the start and loved it, but if Sirius is still dead next chapter... You've lost a reader.
I’m sorry that I’ve lost a reader over this, but as I said, I knew he would die from the first chapter.  Harry would be that impulsive because Ginny was kidnapped and there's no way he wouldn't try to save her.  She and Theo may have been able to escape but not unscathed.  I don’t believe that fan fiction is made to “fix” stupid character deaths because the original story is amazing and I’m getting the chance to play with the characters we all love so much and Sirius had a second chance on life and he lived it.
Adelite: AAAAH. aaAAAH. I came here for a BETTER WORLD and you killed SIRIUS BLACK of ALL PEOPLE and just when HE LEARNED HE IS HAVING TWINS?!?? I swear to god AaaaaahahahAH the original didn’t hurt this bad I read 219 chapters in 2 weeks just to be welcomed with this I am absolutely gonna riot and also what happened to Tonks? P.S if you kill Rem, Tonks and Fred in the battle of Hogwarts I will personally pee your pants
Pegg7: I can not believe it!!It has been chapter that i'm saying something bad was about to happen, but not this bad!!!!!The only think i can do now is wait and speculate: you had wormtail die through the veil and not Padfoot, so, maybe, there is a chance, i have hope! By the way, the chapter itselff is good, nothing less to say... I'm going to have a lot of speculation as how the thing are going to be next, so i'll dread this 2 next weeks Love you (a little less) as always
lovelyellie: that really hurt my feelings damn
phoenixmaiden13 (Lady Phoenix): I so hate this chapter, yet it was so good. Still can't believe you killed off Sirius, I thought he was safe for a minute but I guess not. At least they will have a body to bury. I'm going to go cry now.
They will have a body to bury and I hope that chapter makes you all feel the emotion as much as I did writing it.
MrToddWilkins: But he is still alive! The blood-Harry’s right!
Bosma18: Happy birthday but why did you have to kill Sirius he was one of my most favorite characters he and zee where supposed to marry and live happily ever after I wanted Sirius to die of old age while being surrounded by his grand children
Jmcglynn522: You killed him.... you killed him... he just found out that Zee was preggers, with twins(FYI: Taking antibiotic potions and birth control potions = Twins. Mine just turned 20.).And there’s no do over this time....no time turner.... just... you killed Sirius Black.I love your story, I’m bawling hysterically right now, but I don’t like you very much at the moment.... you killed him....why??? (Happy parts: Ginny preforming the “bat bogey hex” on Thaddeus’s dick for Theo! Lucius killing Thaddeus for hurting Theo, “his son!”. Ron touching “Uranus”. Lady G not dying. Zee not dying. And Pettigrew’s death was to kind.) And Happy Birthday!!!(Even though I may be traumatized for life.)
Pettigrew’s death may have been too kind but I think it was an important turning point for him in that he saved Zee for Sirius.
LordSmidgeon: I'm hoping so much all this was pushed in his head by Voldemort after the brain room to mess with his psyche. I'm hoping he comes to and they are just getting him away from the veil. Or it was all what he saw in the veil. Like honestly, if you have to have someone die please dont kill Sirius (at least not yet).
Siriuslover: Im in denial. He’s not dead.  How could you kill Sirius!! He was the main reason I’ve loved reading this!! Ugh please take it back I’m so sad
kellykat1889: Your evil.
RiverFord: I think I’m going to need two weeks just to recover from this. I’ve absolutely loved this story so far but you literally just killed off my favorite character and I can’t even...
archiveScrapper: Happy birthday! I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, but I finally felt like I had something to say (plus wishing you a happy birthday is important). I'm actually weirdly... proud? of you for keeping Sirius's death at this point in the story. In the books it's kind of the point at which Harry has to officially grow up, and realize that even though he's a kid, he's the center of a really vicious war where his actions have very real consequences. And he has no one left to fully protect him either. Even in a fic where Sirius matters a whole lot more, and Harry is gonna be a thousand times more hurt by his death, that moment of change, and of Harry accepting his inevitable place in this fight is really important? So I just wanted to say that as much as I'm really sad about Sirius being gone, because I really did enjoy him getting to be happy for once, i think it's an important moment for the story and I'm really happy that it's one that you kept even in a version of this story that's a lot happier than the original story ever was. I've been wondering how you were gonna handle this moment for a long time now, and although I'm definitely gonna go cry about Sirius's death now, I'm really happy with what you decided to do.
xXQueenOfDragonsXx: NONONONONONONOSIRIUS! I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW BUT I CANT ‘T
TheOneWithWritersBlock: Please tell me this is a dream. Please tell me that Sirius didn't actually die. Please tell me that the ministry hasn't actually fallen. Please tell me it's all one big giant nightmare.
leflemmeenrose: Happy birthday!A break is definitely needed. I'm gonna spend it crying until you upload the next chapter haha. Take your time.
Zerius: Yay! Pettigrew's dead!I am struggling so hard not to say I hate you. I don't actually, but why did you feel the need to kill off Sirius?! He was Harry's family, he had Zee, he was in love, he had such an amazing life and now... Now he's never going to see Harry and Ginny get married, he won't see his children grow up... And Dedalus Diggle? What was the meaning of his death? Why did he have to die? And so cruelly... I love the new battle though. I've got a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next. Please heal Sirius! Maybe he's not actually dead? Maybe there's a cure? Please say there's a cure! Again, amazing job! Update soon! I love it!
LaureWithAnE: I don’t really like you at the moment. But, happy birthday! How is it, after 17 years, the death of Sirius Black still makes me cry?
PurpleLotus (Person of Earth): Why did you have to kill Sirius? I just can't even process everything that happened. You made me cry and my heart is broken for Harry and Zee and the twins. I don't know what is going to happen and it's killing me. The ministry fallen already...I have no words for the desolation I feel. You have emotionally annihilated me, so congratulations. I understand the need for a break, I will be waiting impatiently for the next update. Happy Birthday and Happy Writing!
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xxforsaken-angelxx · 4 years
Text
=> Sweet bros, hella moirails
xxforsaken-angelxx sollux sollux
hortiicultured That 2ound2 Urgent Ye2 Hello. ii am o2ten2iibly awake.
xxforsaken-angelxx its not dont wworry or not like, bad urgent
hortiicultured Good Urgent?
xxforsaken-angelxx lets go wwith that yeah
hortiicultured ii thiink ii'm awake enough for good urgent. Do You Need Me IIn Per2on? becau2e ii miight need a biit to be pre2entable. ...And Coffee.
xxforsaken-angelxx no its fine just listen
hortiicultured lii2teniing.
xxforsaken-angelxx ...look im sorry but i am just so goddamn ovver the moons pale for you an youre killin me right noww
hortiicultured Oh. ... one moment plea2e.
> Apparently the incentive to finally get up from your desk is to go dunk your head in cold water so you can be absolutely sure that this isn't some half asleep hallucination and you're not about to make a complete fool of yourself. > ...yep, it's still there.
Okay. 2orry. Um. ... you're. Really?
xxforsaken-angelxx yeah really like im not expectin nothin but youre all gorgeous an swweet an all the soft shit is hard on my pusher i wwanna fuss ovver you so bad
hortiicultured you're one to talk, 2ayiing thiing2 liike that. II Ju2t Thought...Well To Be Hone2t That You Ju2t Weren't IIntere2ted IIn Quadrant2 At All.
xxforsaken-angelxx i mean im normally not to be fuckin frank but i got it real bad for you like i dont got anything against quadrants really ivve just kinda nevver quite felt like this
hortiicultured god, and here ii ju2t. II Diidn't Want To Compliicate Thiing2 And II Know How II Can Get, And. ...ii've probably been horriibly obviiou2, haven't ii?
xxforsaken-angelxx a little but i wwouldnt a wworked up the nervve if you hadnt been so i dunno not a bad thing
hortiicultured II Gue22 Not... ii wa2n't even. really thiinkiing anythiing would come of iit. But You've Been Under 2o Much 2tre22 Lately And II Really Ju2t... Wanted To Make You 2miile. that would've been enough. But You Do Thiing2 To Me When You Get Exciited And IIt'2 Completely Unfaiir.
xxforsaken-angelxx sollux no offense but thats the cutest thing thats evver been said oh my god
hortiicultured no 2hut up.
xxforsaken-angelxx like its wworkin im smilin but youre so cute?
hortiicultured Would IIt Be Completely Wiigglerii2h Of Me To 2ay "No You"?
xxforsaken-angelxx yes but thats the opposite of a problem
hortiicultured eheh. God II Don't Know Why II Thought II Could Pretend. ii've been 2iighiing over you for periigee2 and iit ju2t keep2 gettiing wor2e.
xxforsaken-angelxx see like logically i kinda kneww that but thats still like immensely flatterin
hortiicultured Can't Let You Do All The Flatteriing Around Here, Can II?
xxforsaken-angelxx ...can i like hug you or somethin i wwanna hug you or somethin
hortiicultured ...yeah. Ye2. ii'd liike that.
xxforsaken-angelxx :o)
hortiicultured ...Hone2tly II'm Ju2t, 2o Reliieved?
xxforsaken-angelxx are you? like i am too but howw so
hortiicultured you're not the only one who'2 been wantiing to fu22. And II've Been Feeliing 2o Fuckiing 2appy Lately IIt'2 Kiilliing Me.
xxforsaken-angelxx ok admittedly right noww that in and of itself feels really sappy an also i do not an wwill not knoww wwhat im doin so if you get any ideas i promise i wwill be happy to oblige
hortiicultured 2ee what ii mean??
xxforsaken-angelxx hard probably
hortiicultured You Have No IIdea How Much II've Wanted To Ju2t 2ay II Adore You. everyone alway2 giive2 you a hard tiime for the drama and edgy affectatiion2 and ii ju2t thiink iit'2 2o fuckiing charmiing?
xxforsaken-angelxx oh damn
hortiicultured Not Beiing Able To 2ay Anythiing Ha2 Been Ju2t. The Wor2t.
xxforsaken-angelxx yeah yeah really an i think you wwere dealin wwith that for a good bit longer you poor bastard
hortiicultured your piity ii2 a balm to my bruii2ed pu2her, thank you.
xxforsaken-angelxx haha youre a real miracle though yknoww that?
hortiicultured You Tell Me.
xxforsaken-angelxx i keep feelin like the luckiest guy in the wworld tonight wwhen you say you care about me an evverythin
hortiicultured ii'm not goiing to be able to 2top blu2hiing for a moment toniight, am ii?
xxforsaken-angelxx no but its only fair cause i cant either
hortiicultured Damn You.
xxforsaken-angelxx wwe are stuck in this hell together noww
hortiicultured ...ii do, though. God2 Know II've Waiited Long Enough To 2ay IIt. you've been 2o good to me, here...
xxforsaken-angelxx im uh glad you think so i do try
hortiicultured II Would Have Been Mii2erable Otherwii2e.
xxforsaken-angelxx i like tryin to make you happier, as it turns out
hortiicultured turn2 out you're pretty good at iit.
xxforsaken-angelxx so are you frankly
hortiicultured II'm Hone2tly Glad To Hear That.
xxforsaken-angelxx ...ivve kinda thought you wwere relaxin to be around for a wwhile noww that i think about it evven if i nevver thought about it in a romance wway
hortiicultured ii've triied to be... II Gue22 II Couldn't Really Help IIt. but... even iif you weren't iintere2ted, 2omeone need2 to make 2ure you relax on occa2iion. IIt'2 Ju2t Niice To Be Able To Be Open About IIt.
xxforsaken-angelxx ...you're so swweet it is nice though
hortiicultured when diid you fiigure iit out...?
xxforsaken-angelxx this sounds dumb typin it out but like a feww wweeks ago
hortiicultured II Mean II Wouldn't Really 2ay 2o. ii'm ju2t a hopele22 romantiic.
xxforsaken-angelxx ill definitely givve you romantic
hortiicultured Well. maybe not 2o hopele22, eheh.
xxforsaken-angelxx you at least got this far
hortiicultured Yeah. ii don't really thiink ii could 2ay ju2t when iit wa2? IIt Ju2t...Kiind Of Happened Along The Way.
xxforsaken-angelxx i dunno it sounds all nice that wway
hortiicultured iit gue22 iit ii2 kiind of niice. Be2iide2 The Piiniing.
xxforsaken-angelxx the pinin part is plain terrible but that part just kinda strikes me somehoww
hortiicultured ii gue22 there ii2 2omethiing about iit. But, Heh. iit'2 much better beiing on the 2ame page now.
xxforsaken-angelxx much better
hortiicultured IIf... We Both Want Thii2. ii'm goiing to tell karkat... God Know2 He Kept Hii2 Piitch From Me For Long Enough. but ii thiink iit 2hould be up to you iif we make iit publiic.
xxforsaken-angelxx thats fair admittedly though i dont see a reason to tell much of anyone else like if anybody wwe like asks then wwhatevver but id kinda like to keep things privvate
hortiicultured Yeah. ii'm all riight wiith that. ...II Thiink II Kiind Of Liike The IIdea Of Keepiing Thii2 2iide Of You To My2elf.
xxforsaken-angelxx honk i cant argue wwith that
hortiicultured eheh.
xxforsaken-angelxx youre a menace already
hortiicultured You're A Fiine One To Talk.
xxforsaken-angelxx im a clowwn its in my blood you got no excuse
hortiicultured 2econdhand clown expo2ure. IIt'2 Termiinal II'm Afraiid.
xxforsaken-angelxx damn just as i thought
hortiicultured nothiing to do for iit.
xxforsaken-angelxx nothin but sufferin
hortiicultured And Terriible Joke2.
xxforsaken-angelxx hilarious terrible jokes
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comicteaparty · 5 years
Text
May 27th-June 2nd, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 27th, 2019 to June 2nd, 2019.  The chat focused on SUPERPOSE by Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka.
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RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on SUPERPOSE by Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka~! (https://superposecomic.com/)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 2nd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!
QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?
QUESTION 2. When it comes to the themes of feeling lost and finding your place in life, which character do you connect with the most? What moment of their internal struggle regarding this topic really captured your imagination and why?
ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)
Only a couple scenes in at this point, but wow, I can't let the coloring technique go uncommented on. It's gorgeous. Changes for every environment and every time of day, presenting them with rich palettes and exquisite lighting.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?
QUESTION 4. Do you think Kas will eventually adjust to life in Port City and get out more? If so, how might that change them? Overall, how do you think the nature of Port City will shape the characters as the story continues?
RebelVampire
QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?
QUESTION 6. How do you think Royal’s father will react to Royal’s plans with the company? How will this personally affect Royal? Further, will Royal’s father be as cool about who Rafael is related to? Also, how will Rafael’s relationship with his father affect the story?
RebelVampire
1) that scene where Royal is in the arcade teaching the kids the glitch in the game. this was the first time where i felt like we really got to see royal's soul. previously he just felt like kind of a smart air-head, but this scene made me see him in an entirely new light. there deep thoughts and grave ambition hidden under there, and the way he explained the glitch really just made me want to play glitchy games and marvel at them. plus, for comedic reasons i like the juxtaposition of the kids basically just not giving any damns about what royal is talking about. they just wanna win their game https://superpose.superposecomic.com/post/161303418270 2) its a tough choice between royal and rafael, but im gonna go with rafael. i think my favorite scenes with him in regards to being lost are when we see him in the ocean. to me those scenes are physical manifestations of what hes feeling internally, which is like a small speck alone in a vast ocean trying not to drown in everything. and honestly, what a great way to put feeling lost, because sometimes that is exactly what it feels like. plus, for me personally, i can connect with rafael's seeming lack of ambition a bit more than i connect with royal. since it's not like rafael doesn't have skills, rafael just doesnt seem to know what to do with those skills.
RebelVampire
3) Royal. I love how hyper excited Royal is about everything and just the sheer amount of ambition he has. Like, I can't not admire someone who is so sure of their own damn idea that they pursue it like their life is on the line. That being said, I also like that Royal can be a bit of a doofus and also that he still has internal struggles of his own. Like trying to find a place in the world with his dad being pretty stern and detached emotionally. 4) I do think Kas is gonna get out in Port City more, mostly probably cause Royal and Rafael will drag them around whether Kas likes it or not. Which I'm sure there will be an adjustment period, but I think eventually Kas will kind of get used to everything if only out of necessity. Plus, I think Rafael will show Kas the good spots where Kas doesn't have to be bothered by jerks. I do worry though that in the long run, the city is kind of going to continue to amplify all their internal struggles and will continue to bring those to the forefront of the story. Port City strikes me as sort of a backwater city. Like the sort of city that isn't cool enough to intense tourism but is large enough that it devours everyone into the crowd. And that's the exact sort of environment that can breed feeling lost. Plus, a lot of the random people we've seen have been kind of shitty, like drug dealers.
5) I've gotta give it to the beam https://superpose.superposecomic.com/post/183664963457 the lighting on this page takes my breath away, and the pacing leading up to the illustration is really perfect too. Especially, though, I like the little intense beam of blue at the top. Not only does it visually show off the intensity of the power, but it add that nice level of contrast that draws your eye to it. plus, great composition for this page in my opinion and a well-chosen angle. 6) Royal's father is gonna be super, duper pissed unless it makes him a lot of money. I assume he will find out before it reaches that point and immediately pull Royal out and fire everyone. Cause I do not believe Royal's father has enough faith in Royal. Which this would obviously damage their relationship, and I think Royal will have to confront the feelings of insecurity he has because of his dad and how his dad has a lot of faults. Thankfully for Rafael, I don't think the dad will care about his dad. At most, I think there will be snide remarks. As for Rafael and his dad, I think their relationship is gonna drive a wedge at some point in Rafael's plans and kind of make him have to take a step back from the project maybe. I think Rafael is taking on a lot of guilt for what his dad has done, and I think he'll need to work through that before he can truly be happy.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?
QUESTION 8. What do you feel the comic has to say about family relationships and how they help define who we are? What moment in the comic stuck out to you where this theme was at the forefront?
varethane
Royal and Rafael's interactions are always engaging, though I find them also very tense most of the time haha-- they're both very intense people
RebelVampire
as much as i like Royal, I would probably be more like Kas when interacting with him. where im just kind of internally like "royal slow your roll dude"
RebelVampire
QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?
QUESTION 10. Given how different Rafael, Royal, and Kas are, what obstacles do you foresee in the three getting along? How will their personal lives affect their professional lives in this regard? Alternatively, what ways have their relationships improved that you liked?
RebelVampire
7) Probably Royal and Kas. They have such opposite personalities that I'm always interested to see how they make their relationship work, both professionally and personally. There's also just something deeply relateable I find in their struggles to communicate while both being immensely self aware that they are ill-matched in regards to their socialization styles. 8) I think the comic shows both the good and bad ways our parents morph who we are. Like Rafael is a great dude, but he clearly has some deep-seated issues that I think are largely tied into the crimes of his father and feeling like he cants escape them. But I think that is something else this comic is saying as well. That regardless of what our relationships with our families is, sometimes we need to escape and forge our own path in spite of them. For me the largest moment where this stuck out was when Royal was in the meeting in the beginning and voicing his opinion. Cause Royal seemed to understand he was in the shadow of his father, yet at the same time was desperate to break free
RebelVampire
9) I'm gonna second @ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP) and say the lighting for this question. there is just so much damn atmosphere is every scene. especially when its dark. i find a lot of comic's get really scared of making scenes too dark and worry if its not bright enough people wont see. but i feel this comic just boldly says nope and does it anyway, creating some really beautiful night scenes with dynamic light sources. <3 10) I think theres gonna be a lot more conflict with Royal in regards to Royal just being so energetic. I think Rafael and Kas will find him exhausting after a point. not to mention I get the impression Rafael and Kas are getting closer, and I think there's a point where Royal will feel like a third wheel. The largest conflict I see them having though is what to do with their project if they succeed and what to do with themselves after. Cause while at the moment they have a joint goal to focus on, once that goal is gone i think the feelings of lostness will return. As for relationship improvements, I really like Kas was able to tell Royal that Royal's friends were asshole and Royal apologized. I was sure Royal was gonna kind of try to write it off. But nope, the two came to a mutual understanding, and Royal got to grow as a person.
varethane
I love that the lighting approach is derived from film compositing and photography techniques, it gives it a richness of value and saturation that's very intense but still feels realistic
RebelVampire
thats a super eloquent way to put, @varethane
varethane
I, uhhhh, am very nervous about what's going to happen when Royal finds out that Raf stole his dog.
RebelVampire
oh good its not just me then
although im worried whats gonna happen to Royal when Raf finds out Royal's dad was responsible for why the dog was in such bad shape
RebelVampire
QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.
QUESTION 12. Ultimately, do you think Royal, Rafael, and Kas will manage to bring Royal’s project to fruition? Whether success or failure, what do you think it will mean for the three of them, for the future of the company, and for the world?
RebelVampire
QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?
QUESTION 14. Do you think any of Rafael or Royal’s past actions seen throughout the comic before they officially meet will have future consequences? If so, how will they affect their working relationship, and how might the two find a way to work past them?
RebelVampire
11) Once again, definitely the lighting and also probably the composition. These aspects together give the comic this really unique, movie-like tone. And again, there's just so much atmosphere with these illustration techniques that it really works for what's going on with the story. 12) I think it's gonna be a partial success. I don't think they'll manage a true teleporter, but I think they'll manage something close enough that they can use it to revolutionize something? Cause what I forsee happening is that they'll run into a kink and Royal's dad will find out and say "no my dudes make this profitable." i think regardless of success or failure, the experience will still teach them all about themselves, and I think that's more important than any affect they might on a more global scale. 13) Seeing Royal and Rafael hang out more. We've seen Kas with both of them a lot, and I'd like to see those two together more. Cause I feel there's a lot of misconceptions both can work through and apologies to be had. And I think it'll be real interesting. Also, the issue of Royal's stolen doggo. 14) Yes. There is no way that doggo is not gonna be a thing. That's gonna be a hell of a confrontation. Not just cause it's understandable Royal would be mad, but I think Royal is gonna have to face some hard truths about how his dad might be an asshole. I think inevitably the two will work things out, but each is gonna have to accept that some of the people they know are assholes.
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about SUPERPOSE this week! Please also give a special thank you to Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked SUPERPOSE, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: https://superposecomic.com/
Joe and Anka’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/superpose
Joe and Anka’s Store: http://superpose.storenvy.com/
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girlhurricane · 5 years
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💙 💔 💕 💝
oh my god HI i am so excited someone asked me this wowowowo ily!!
💙: how has the idea changed between starting it and where it is now?
I think just like…i was making it creepy for the sake of being creepy and that was more important to me than the actual characters etc, and now it’s still creepy but at the heart its about friendship and love and bein brave even when it’s hard which is nice. 
💔: give a brief character bio of your 3-5 MCs
nell: new in town. is making it very obvious. reckless and at times inconsiderate, likes to pretend she is a Cool Badass but secretly is terrified of both the town and also abt being alone and no one liking her. she wants to protect herself from being hurt at all costs which sometimes means she tries to hurt ppl before they can do it to her first. all she’s ever wanted is rly rly good friends and people that make anywhere feel like home. 
maddox: the younger margrave brother. the most observant person u will ever meet. tell him something once in passing and he will remember forever: ur favourite drink, the name of ur mother that he’s never met, how you’re scared of the way u always seem to see eyes hiding in the fields out of the corner of ur eye. he looks up to his older brother sawyer a lot and sees himself as inadequate compared to him but he is one of the best friends u could ever have. just wants everyone to be happy so bad.
agatha: maddox’s childhood best friend and the mayor’s daughter. liked and respected by everyone but is struggling to become an Individual instead of just Daughter to the Mayor. is suffocated by her parents’ expectations of her and sees all of her feelings as an Inconvenience so she keeps them buried and is very good at always appearing controlled and composed. saw a body in the woods a few years ago and ever since then she kind of just cant stop seeing it, in her dreams and in dark hallways and under the static on the TV.
sawyer: no one remembers him. he left the town before his senior year of high school and apart from his family, no one remembers him. every time he comes back to visit it’s like everyone is seeing him for the first time and it tears him up and he hates it. he wants to become a doctor bc the only thing that helps him with his hurt is knowing he can take away other people’s. his feelings and well-being are of very little importance to him. did some pretty stupid shit that rly strained his relationship w his brother and carries immense guilt about it. (he doesnt know maddox already forgives him for it, really, and just wishes sawyer would talk to him again)
these actually really werent that brief at all sry i got excited
💕: what has your favorite scene been?
the four friends outside the gas station is always one of my favs that i go back to. it’s this weird thing bc it could be a typical Teenage Hangout thing they r doing but they’re also covered in blood and rly fucked up over eveything that happened. I just think it epitomizes the book so well–there’s so much shit going on and they are hurting and they are not normal but they are still teenagers and best friends and kids when it comes down to it. things r so bad but they’re not bad bc they have each other for it to be bad with. 
💝: who has your favorite character arc? give a brief summary
in the first book definitely nell. she starts off so immature and reckless and working so hard to be something she’s not and acting like she doesn’t care, and she just kinda learns that vulnerability and loving people is cool and important and Not Lame or weak. she learns that you have to open yourself up to being hurt and that it is inevitable but worth it for the relationships u find if u stop being so scared. she comes into this town fucking resenting it and not giving a fuck abt how her actions have consequences and by the end she’s walking into a forest ready to die for this town and everything/everyone in it. not because she has to but because she wants to. 
WRITER WIP ASKS✨
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How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?
(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)
THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.
It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.
Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.
Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.
Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.
For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.
Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.
(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)
When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.
All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.
They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.
Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.
When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)
They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”
And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.
He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.
Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.
Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.
They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.
And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.
When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.
Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.
For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.
(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)
((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))
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sunsinrinn · 4 years
Text
Do you love her? part 2
Language, Angst
Quirk mention
Word count: 1,949
Here’s part two hopefully its good <3
“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” You began raising your voice, “ I wanted so badly to deny it. I cant fucking believe you fell for someone while you were with me! Did you really think I am that fucking foolish? Did you think you could fucking string me along while you stuck your tongue down her damn throat?! You’re pathetic thinking I will allow you to treat me like this. You pretended to CARE! Do you know how much hurt I feel? Of course you don’t you have a new toy to play with now!” You feel so angry and glare as he begins to stutter out, “I- I didn’t mean to hurt you! I didn’t mean to kiss her either, or even fall for her-“
You cut him off by saying, “What the hell do you mean you didn’t mean to fucking kiss her? Did your tongue have a mind of its own and found itself down her lizard ass throat? I just want you out of my fucking life Bakugo. I can’t stand to look at you anymore.”
Bakugo finds himself angry at your word, “You know if you were more fucking caring as a girlfriend I wouldn’t have looks at her! I would still be stuck with you!”
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN A CARING GIRLFRIEND? I fucking cared more than your pathetic ass ever did but hey you wouldn’t know because you were infatuated by Lizard face. You have no right to critique me as a girlfriend, ESPECIALLY if you weren’t even fucking committed to this relationship.”
He was running a bit late because he went out to pick up your favorite snacks and as soon as he sees the dorms he speeds up so he doesn’t keep you waiting. As he approaches your room he hears muffled yelling so he knocks and with no answer he opens the door to see you seething at bakugo and as bakugo is about to speak up. He spots Denki and glares at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Widening his eyes a bit he looks at you and calmly speaks up, “I could ask you the same thing, especially since y/n does not want you near her.”
Bakugo enraged speaks up, “I am here because I wanted to talk to my girlfriend!”
At that Denki sees you become even angrier and you speak up, “I am not your fucking girlfriend! Fucking understand that I want nothing to do with you anymore. Especially after knowing you love her!”
Sadness flashes across Bakugo’s face but becomes replaces with an angry facade, “Fine I came here to work things out with you and forgive you but it just seems like you’re being a hard-headed bitch!” As soon as he says that he begins to regret it as well. You boil in anger and scream, “FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT YOU DICK? YOU WANNA FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A DUMBASS AND CARING FOR YOU? I DID ALL THE THINGS YOU LIKE HOPING YOU’D STAY! You’re UNBELIEVABLE!” You calm down and coldly say, “Get out of my room, don’t contact me again because I’m sick with feeling like I deserve better. And you’re sick for everything you did to me so go back to your lizard bitch.”
Bakugo’s facade falls as he senses such an immense pain that doesn’t belong to him. His eyes widen once he realizes you let your quirk take over. He never experience your quirk first hand and now he’s afraid, and the grief that radiates from you is so intense he feels like his actual heart is being torn piece by piece. That’s when he realizes just how badly his actions hurt you. You had so much pain that without realizing it, it bursted from your grasp affecting everyone in the room.
“Y-y/n...its o-okay” Bakugo hears the other blonde speak up and realizing that he was also feeling her pain. As soon as you heard Denki, the pain Bakugo felt left as quickly as it came, and in its place a more calming feeling arrived. Bakugo faintly felt the feeling but knew that he would never make you feel like that anytime soon causing his heart so break ever so slightly.
“Please leave Bakugo” Denki speaks calmly as he walks towards you and hugs you. With that Bakugo leaves hesitantly regretting everything he did to you. Bakugo knew then that you weren’t his anymore. No, Denki has managed to, little by little, break down the walls put up because of Bakugo. He walked to his room and in there, he finally mourned the loss of you. He fucked up and he knew it. He loves Setsuna but his love for you is bigger. Or so he thought. If he did love you why the hell did he say those mean things. Out of every-fucking-one Denki is the one soothing you. His blood boiled in anger (jealousy psh) at the thought of you being in the arms of Denki.
Days after the fight you radiate a somber feeling that everyone near you can feel. That feeling is occasionally replaced with a faint content feeling that is only usually when Denki is with you. After the fight, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero would talk to you but when bakugo was near they’d shut up and instead to to each other. You noticed and at first were hurt but understood that they were his friends after all. After the fight Denki stopped talking or hanging out with Bakusquad and you hated that he stopped just to hang out with you. You spent time on your hobbies and hanging out with Dekusquad. Slowly with the help of your friends, you became happier and slowly begin to forget about him and his words.
Opposed to you, Bakugo, although hanging out with Setsuna, he was not happy. He hated hurting you but always counteracted and attempted to forget about you by being with Setsuna. Whenever he saw you, he saw happiness radiate from you but as soon as you spotted him even a glimpse that happiness soured. That would always get under his skin and begin to scowl. He hated knowing that others made you happy and all he did now was make you angry. He also hated that Denki had gotten close to you. He hated the fact that he made you the happiest and carefree. He loathed Denki for making you feel better. He wanted to be the one who made you happy and carefree. He wanted to be the one you directed your smile towards. He is overcome with jealousy and hatred that is aimed towards Denki. He also noticed that Kirishima, Mina, and Sero would hang out with her but leave her when he was around. The three of them hated that he cheated but being loyal to the fault, they stuck with him so he wouldn’t be alone. He saw how they held themselves back from you making him feel bad because when you were his girlfriend they adored you. He hated himself for taking away your friends and hated them for sticking with him. He didn’t deserve them and they knew he fucked up but they believed in him to make it up to you.
Denki, all he did during the passing weeks was to stay with you as much as possible and make you smile every time he saw you. Despite his feelings, he never attempted to get with you because he knew you were still hurting. It hurt him so much knowing you were heart broken so he made a promise to himself to always keep you content whether you returned his feelings or not. He cared so much for you it hurt him to restrain from blurting out his love for you.
You saw how Denki was always with you and how he always made you smile. You began to feel strange around him. Your heart would beat out of control every time he was near you just pushed that feeling aside knowing you were falling again. You did not want to fall again and be hurt. Denki would never do that to you but you just were being cautious to let someone in again after Bakugo. You just wanted to feel normal again before thinking of dating anyone. You also didn’t think he thought of you as anything more than a friend so you tried pushing those feelings to the side.
Denki’s feelings for you grew and grew as the days went by to the point where he decided to finally confess. He knew that even if you didn’t like him back he had to tell you so he could get over you. He texts you while you’re out one day that he has something he wants to talk to you about.
When you see his message you become anxious and send him a message asking “whats up”. You see the text bubbles show up and disappear and show up again. The message he sent just says he wants to talk in person. So you anxiously text back saying that he can talk to you when you return. You continue to shop and forget about it but as you walk home from the store you become anxious again and begin to over think. What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore? Did you do something wrong?
When you arrive you text him to say you were here. He texts back almost instantly to meet up in your room. You slowly make your way to your room. The closer you get the more anxious you become until you see him standing in front of your door. You give him a weak smile and open the door letting him and yourself in.
“So what did you need to tell me?-“
“I have something to tell you-“ You both say at the same time.
Denki looks at you as you look at him and both laugh.
“S-so um... y/n,” He stutters out. You look at him as he tries to tell you.
“I have something to tell you and I hope you dont get angry or mad or stop being my friend. I. Have been meaning to tell you this for a while but I would chicken out and I dont know how to tell you this and I am so sorry. I hope this doesn’t change our friendship or how you look at me but maybe you will change how you look at me? I mean if its a good change but not if its bad...-“ His face begins to burn red as he rambles.
“Denki just tell me what you have to say, your making me anxious, hun.” You say calmly so he relaxes slightly. Just slightly.
Meanwhile, Bakugo is still unhappy and wants to talk to you again and hopefully you hear him out and see how miserable he is without you. Even if you cant fully forgive him he will try until you trust him and take him back.
He walks over to your room and stops at the door when he hears Denki rambling and you speaking up. His blood begins to boil but stays quiet attempting to here the conversation. He then hears Denki mutter something quickly so he gets closer to the door to hear better.
“Ireallylikeyoubutnotasasfriend” Denki mutters quickly.
“Denki, just spit it out... Please the suspense is killing me,” you practically beg of him. Bakugo hears that and stays silent and once Denki speaks up he’s blood runs cold.
Denki looks up at you taking a deep breath and as he exhales he says
“I said I really like you y/n. Not as a friend either.”
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Here is Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
A/N- this is probably not as good as part one but I tried, :) Hopefully you guys like it <3 also there wasn’t much angst this time :3 also if you’d like to be tag in future parts or works send me an ask, dm, or comment :) You can also fill out my taglist form here
Taglist: @tspice283
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runningwitches · 6 years
Text
Loved
Summary: The reader is sad because they feel useless. Steve makes sure they know that’s not true and the party cheers them the heck up.
Request?: Nah M8 I’m just sad as heck
Word Count: 1819
A/N: i mean, seasonal depression and a neverending fear that nobody will ever love me and that I will die alone drove me to binge read a shit ton of steve harrington x reader fics and cry despite the fact that i havent finished season two of stranger things but im gonna write this anyways.
i guess this is steve x reader but thats not the main point of the story
idfk i just want to be loved
(umm, henderson! reader who is loved by everyone, i do not give a shit if this follows the exact storyline, ok? i just wanna be happy again) (also i do not look anything like a henderson! so reader can be adopted or some shit? maybe a cousin?  who tf knoes? not me, thats for sure !!
Warnings: Probably Season Two Spoilers, No Editing, Probably super OOC and all that because I started this at almost three in the morning and now its four and I’m exhausted but I cant sleep because I’m sad. Anyways I’m just trying to say that it’s bad but I’ll love you if you read it anyways.
I was curled up in my bed, isolating myself from everyone as per usual. After the events with the mind flayer and demodogs and upside down, I realized something pretty depressing. Nobody needed me. I mean like? Sure I was Dustin’s sister. And sure, I was kinda helpful in saving Steve’s ass from the demodogs and Billy, but it just feels as if I weren’t there, nobody would even notice. As if my presence had no positive value to anyone in The Party™.
So instead of socializing with them while they all played DnD and joked around, I sat myself in my room, wrapped in a blanket burrito, holding back tears. I had my music on in the background as I mindlessly flipped through one of the magazines my mom had bought for me. Everyone was downstairs as it was Dustin’s turn to host the DnD night, and everyone was over. I mean, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Max, Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, and I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if I walked downstairs to find Joyce and Hopper there too. Every once in awhile I would hear some loud laughter come up from the group, signifying how happy they were without me there. It definitely wasn’t easy for me to sit there by myself staring blankly at the pictures of celebrities I didn’t even care about, but I continued to tell myself that they would be happier without me, attempting to drown out the sounds of their joy with the mixtape I had made for myself a little while back.
As I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing, trying to force the tears that had started to pool back into my eyes, I heard someone knocking on my door. I quickly wiped my eyes to ensure there weren’t any stray tears, pulled the blanket tighter around my body, and attempted to look miserable. But miserable in a sick way and not in a sad way. If it were anybody except Dustin or Steve, I knew I was going to be able to pull off the “I’m not feeling very well” charade, so my chances were pretty good (though odds were rarely skewed in my favor).
Of course with my luck my little brother came bursting through the door.
“(Y/N)! Why aren’t you down there playing DnD with us?!” he asked, voice booming loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. As I prepared to try my excuse with him to see if my acting skills had gotten any better, I noticed someone else walking through the door. Looking up, my watery eyes met the concerned look on Steve’s face.
“Hey shithead, stop screaming. You don’t need to tell everyone in Hawkins about your sister’s lack of participation in game night,” he said to Dustin, ruffling his hair and then muttering for him to go back downstairs. Dustin looked angrily at Steve for a moment before looking between us for a second, muttered something to himself, and then left the room, surprisingly closing my door as he left.
“What’s up with you lately? It’s not like you to miss game night, but you haven’t been to a single one these past few weeks.”
“I’m just not feeling well, Steve, don’t worry about it,” I told him, looking down at the magazine in my lap and trying to will the tears away.
“Don’t try that bullshit with me, (Y/N). I know you better than that, do you really think I’d believe that crap?”
“There’s no bullshit to be had Steve, just go back downstairs, I’ll be fine,” I told him, yet I still refused to make eye contact. So when he sat down on the edge of my bed, put two fingers under my chin, and lifted my head up in order for me to make eye contact, I saw his face immediately soften.
“I’m not gonna go back downstairs until I figure out what’s wrong with my favorite girl.”
It took all of the resolve in the world for me to not break down at those two words, and it still didn’t even work. “Favorite girl?” I repeated, but only in my own head. “There’s no way I’m his favorite girl, he’s lying to me. Everyone always lies to me” I told myself. And in that second it was like the dam was broken. The tears started to fall freely from my face. I curled myself into more of a ball than I already was, which was a surprising feat of human flexibility, if I’m being completely honest. Steve’s arms immediately went around me, pulling us closer to each other, and practically pulling me into his lap.
I didn’t say a word as he stroked my hair and shushed me softly, I simply let out a series of what I would consider disgusting sobs.
He continued whispering to me, little things telling me that I’d be okay, or that he was there for me, or that everything was gonna be fine. As my breathing finally evened out, he hadn’t asked me what was wrong like I had expected, so I knew I had to speak up.
“Why are you even here, Harrington?” I asked him bitterly.
“What do you mean?” he replied, exasperated.
“Why do you even care about me?” I reiterated with a sniffle.
“Why do I care about you? (Y/N) what are you on about? It would take me ages to list all of that back to you.” I didn’t respond, but I allowed myself to relax a bit, leaning now onto his chest instead of holding myself as far away as I could while somehow still being in his lap. “(Y/N) you’re wonderful. You care so much about all of the kids, sometimes I think you out-mom even their own mom’s.” That was greeted with a sharp exhale from my nose which was (correctly) interpreted as a laugh. “You’re fucking badass. You can use a gun, a bat, a hockey stick, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on to slay monsters, like real life monsters.” He checked my face after this comment, and was lucky he did, because he almost missed the slight curl of my lips. “You never let anybody get in the way of doing what needs to be done. Not even racist douchebags that show up and kick my ass. And you certainly don’t take shit from anyone.” A few more tears fell from my eyes, but he grabbed my face and used his thumbs to wipe them away, looking into my eyes. “And you’ve got a whole group of teenagers sitting down there worried sick about you because you mean so much to all of them.”
I sniffled again and threw my arms around his neck, whispering an almost inaudible, “Thank you.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Now let’s go get you cleaned up so we can finish that game of DnD.” I almost blushed at the pet name he gave me, if he didn’t sweep me up into his arms and carry me to the bathroom so I could rinse my face off. He made sure to grab my blanket from my bed and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs.
“Wow, it’s so nice of you to join us,” Dustin said the second we were down the stairs, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve shot him a look that said, “shut up or I’ll kill you,” while I just gave him a small smile. Before I even got settled on the couch I was smothered by two bear hugs.
“I missed you (Y/N),” El told me, gripping me in probably the tightest hug I’ve ever had. “You were gone for three weeks!”
“Yeah dude! Don’t leave us alone with these losers for that long ever again!” Max exclaimed, hugging me almost as tight as El was.
I smiled down at both of them, hugging them back just as fiercely. Looking up, I saw the smile Steve had on, but I ignored it in favor of the smiles on my girls’ faces. Ruffling their hair, I removed myself from their grips and went to sit on the couch between Steve and Nancy.
“It’s a good thing you came back (Y/N). I almost killed your brother, and not in the campaign, in real life. I’m pretty sure you’d be the only one who could stop me.” I chuckled to myself and then smiled at Lucas.
“It’s a good thing that I’m back then, huh?”
Will looked up at me this time, “Definitely! I was waiting for you to come down so I could show you this drawing!” I smiled down at him, glancing briefly at Jonathan, only enough to recognize the immense pride on his face at the fact that Will was genuinely happy and smiley. He brought it up to show me a picture that he had drawn of me fighting a monster, a cute little label that pertained to my name at the top. “Steve said you fought a monster and won! And I didn’t even get to see it. So I thought I’d draw it out for you.”
“I love it Will!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and looking at the drawing again. It wasn’t until this second look that I noticed a label by the monster’s head as well. It simply read, “Billy” with a little arrow to indicate that the monster I was beating up was named Billy. I laughed at the naming of the monster and pulled Will into another hug, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. He grabbed the drawing and placed himself back into his spot.
“(Y/N), you want to hop in on this campaign? We’ve still got a while left to go and we’re in a pretty good spot to add another character?” Mike offered, as he was playing Dungeon Master.
“Yeah, come on (Y/N)! You haven’t actually played in forever!” Dustin added.
The rest of the group added their own chorus of “Yeah”s to try and convince you to join.
“Okay, I guess. But only if I get to be a healer! I’m tired of killing the monsters,” I joked, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.
“Okay, okay, so the group walks up to the tavern in town, hoping for a nice evening away from the fighting for once. But the open the door and see, A MOM, not just A mom, it’s their mom!”
“What?” El asked.
“Mike what are you on about?” Lucas added.
“OH MY GOD, (Y/N)’S GONNA BE LIKE OUR TEAM’S MOM!” Max shouted in realization. The whole group looked at Mike in anticipation. “Well obviously, how else would I have gone about this? It’s perfect, and the perfect position to make her the healer.”
“I mean, technically she’s my sister,” Dustin announced, implying that you couldn’t be his mom.
“See (Y/N), I told you I was gonna kill him.”
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ninjaimagines · 7 years
Note
Ooooo so happy you’re accepting again! Can I get a headcannon for Kakashi, Itachi, Neji and Lee finding out their s/o can’t have a baby? Would they consider adoption? Maybe turn to Tsunade to maybe figure something out?
okay i made a post last week about how this hits home for me, and im gonna tell yall why.
I have a medical condition called endometriosis. Basically what it is, is that the lining of my uterus (the endometrial tissue) grows outside of my uterus, making my life horrible. Even if I’m not on my period I’m in immense pain. Along with the pain, most women with this condition find sex to be too painful (and im really gonna go in w yall, i cant even wear tampons or have someone finger me its too fucking painful, i cry every time, although this aint gonna stop my pursuit of the dick so yah know.) and along with that, 2/3 of women with this condition have problems conceiving a child. Currently, I am on birth control which acts as hormonal therapy, so my symptoms are managed now, but take it from me. I suffered in silence for years because I thought this is just how periods are. I would miss school and work and I would just lay in bed because sometimes even just sitting up put me way too much pain. But your period should never be so bad that you cannot continue daily life. If you’re having intense cramping, heavy bleeding or just really shitty periods, please talk to a health care professional. Sorry for this giant piece of word vomit on here. 
lets get to the request 
Kakashi
Kakashi feels saddened by this news, more for you than him. He knew how badly you wanted a baby, and now, that had been taken from you. 
You two listen to your options, but make no decision for now, you two need time to process. 
Kakashi doesn’t bring it up for sometime, until its late one night and you two are laying in bed talking, and then he asks. 
“Y/N, darling, I know we wanted our own child, and I know it hurts to think about, but I feel like we should discuss our options. I know there are plenty of war orphans that need adopting...” His voice trailed off, looking at you. 
“I, I’m still very upset about the news, but you are right. I still want a family, as long as you do, maybe we could look into adoption?” 
He supports you 100% of the way, no matter the reason for your infertility.
Itachi 
Itachi is concerned when he finds out with you in the doctors office. He immediately is squeezing your hand and pulling you into a hug. He knows how badly you wanted a baby. 
He doesn’t listen to the other options, because he is more worried about you. 
Itachi doesn’t bring the topic up to you, but he does tell his immediate family and very close friends so they don’t mention it. He knows you need your time and he respects that. 
But after almost a year, Itachi brings it up one day after sex. “Y/N, this may not be the best time to talk about this, but I think we should discuss it at least. I know how badly we both wanted a family, you slightly more so than me, but I just want you to know, that I will respect whatever decision you make.” 
“Right now, I just want to focus on us, and what we can do for your clan and our village. If in time I regain that want, no that need for a baby, your baby, we can discuss it then, but for now, lets just keep it to the two of us, yeah?” 
Itachi agrees and he admires that even in this time of your own personal hurting, you’re thinking of others. He knows that you’d be a great parent. 
Neji 
Not gonna lie, Neji may be more upset than his S/O. He always wanted to have his own mini me to train and raise. He also blames himself nonstop until you two get the news back that it is indeed a problem with you.
Neji does get information on the other options, and to him, surrogacy seems the best, but he does wait a few weeks to a couple of months to bring it up to you. 
“My love, I know we both still want a baby, and I’ve been thinking and looking into it for some time, and I think our best option is a surrogacy. It would still be our biological baby, and we’d still get the joy of feeling the baby move and sonograms.”
Y/N doesn’t give him an answer for some time, because really they need time to think it over and they want to look into all the options themselves. 
“Neji, I’ve been thinking, and I think you’re right, we could get a surrogate and still have our own family.” 
Neji cries on the low. He is so ready to have a family of his own, especially with Y/N. 
Lee
Lee is confused when he hears the news, so he asks the doctor to explain. Y/N is crying, and he is still a little confused. “I don’t get it, how can this happen, how can this be?” 
He hugs Y/N really tight in the office and cries with her. He knows how badly they wanted this. He knows that they need to make a decision, like he did after his injury. 
Lee doesn’t bring it up right away, he waits for two weeks before he decides to talk to you about it. In those two weeks he trained like crazy, to help cope. 
“Y/N, I know this is still a sensitive topic, but we should talk about the options. It’s important that we know what our decision is for when the time comes.” 
Y/N knows he’s right, so they do talk to him for some time. They decide to try Invetro-fertilization a few times. It’s pricey, and it does take it’s toll on Y/N. After all their attempts failed, they decide on adoption. 
Lee and Y/N, may never fully get over this, and it will always be a sensitive topic, but it made them a stronger couple. 
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y01te-moved · 6 years
Text
i dont feel like putting this in the tags but its still kinda sad so uhhh dont feel obligated to keep reading this at all
sometimes i feel like maybe im just not meant to be close to people at all. i know i can have friends, but i always feel sort of off with everyone because the more i think about it the more i realize something. almost everyone around me has One person that theyre really close to; mostly romantically but platonically too. Does this matter to me personally? not really. in fact, im glad everyone else has someone else they can feel especially happy with, even if for some reason things arent the greatest with others as a whole. But, at the same time, i cant help but feel odd and sort of almost disillusioned when its obvious, because i cant think of a single person i could view like that, and i cant help but feel like im third-wheeling even 1on1 conversations because of it. i know theres no obligation to have someone in which both of you would mostly consider yourselves closer to each other than virtually anyone else, but i know that its still something that would likely pick up my life in a way ive been needing for a while, or so i think. i think that the main reason ive felt so consistently off essentially every second of my day for the past few weeks, maybe even months are issues with loneliness and similar things. ive never really felt that bad for any other reason than thinking too much about the basis of my relationships (all platonic ofc) with people and its weighing me down. but its not like i can just let go of these thoughts either because having them at all is the result of all the people i ended up having fucked up relations with to begin with, and i just cant let go of any of these people i used to know because whether i like or not they still haunt me consistently. it makes me scared of everything, because it feels like even though i know its not, all my friendships are on thin ice and whenever im not showing every single person through immense effort(s) that i do care about them everything could disappear just like that. i dont want anyone to leave me, but it feels like thats almost all i know now. i want to tell people that this is how i always feel but it cant come out because its just a guilt trip at best. even being told multiple times that someone thinks they could never hate me or that they want me to be happy, i know it and i doubt it at the same time. i feel really bad for constantly ignoring things like it, but i just cant help but feel like if im not at least close to something absolutely perfect for someone they reserve the right to abandon me immediately because im not good enough. The thought that theres not anyone particular i feel like i can safely say i have mutual feelings of extreme closeness with terrifies me because otherwise i feel replaceable and easy to leave. I spend way too much time just thinking about wanting to ask people i know if theyre tired or miserable or discontent with me or the conversations i have with them, and i never do but the question still lingers, and because i cant help but feel like i really dont mean much to people i do mean Something to, i feel like i shouldnt waste everyones time trying to make awkward small talk. its just an endless, draining cycle that not even constant reassurance can fix. i dont know what went wrong i just know that everything is wrong now and it feels awful. i dont know why i cant just be content being an okay friend with people, but here we are. im just so stupid to the extent that i cant rationalize anything i have going on with others and it just makes everyone miserable. i wish i could just completely isolate myself sometimes and never speak to anyone again so that they dont have to worry about me, but i know thats extreme and would never work. i just want to feel happy about being with others but everything weighs me down over simply lacking enough communication and i dont know how to fix myself, while also knowing that id feel bad if i left everyone else to do it. im not meant to be able to feel close to anyone. everything about my thought processes make it impossible. i dont know why i bother fixating on it, but i do anyways, and i feel like i dont know anything. why do i feel so hopeless over something so stupid
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