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bitchimasnake-sss · 5 months

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the monster trio (but make it highschool!au);

basically, what if these mf weren't illiterate?? highschool!au headcanons for the monster trio!!

luffy:

- the class comedian (and doesn't know it) - like this man is out here just going about his day, doing stupid shit. he doesn't know why the class is laughing when the teacher asks him what he's doing and he says "eating. want some?" through a mouthful of doritos and a shit-eating grin - everyday, atleast once, he gets sent to the principle (the principle is garp lmao) and garp sends luffy back to the teacher because even he doesn't wanna deal with this precious himbo

- he runs track (and he is actually so good at it) - he's that one kid that has adhd and the whole school knows but he doesnt "adhd? what's that?" "you, luffy, that's you" - his homework? never complete; his handwriting? so shit it feels like ants crawling on paper; his uniform? something has to be missing always whether it's a button on his shirt, tie, belt, something. - one time he pulled up with one sock missing and when asked, he shrugged and said "sometimes things happen" - why did he say it like that??? - somehow, despite it all, he manages to pass (nami tutored him forcefully and made him pay her later) - best friends with the martial artist!zoro and cooking prodigy!sanji - nobody knows how these three are friends??? but they are ig - also, i headcannon him as the guy who is like 4 feet and after one summer comes back stretched out (hehe, pun intended) - always so kind to others even if he doesn't know them, always willing to help freshmen out and run errands for you if you need help - nobody knew he is related to his older brothers (ace, sabo) "how are you their brother??" "idk? how am i??" - just the bestest boy ever, golden retriever energy all day every day no matter what universe it is

zoro:

- you take one look at this mf and you think, ah here is the classic delinquent, stick-up-his-ass martial artist and you couldnt be more wrong - he is never dressed right but that's cause he doesn't know how to tie a tie and listen if he had the willpower to find the right socks at 7 in the morning, he will - he is just an incompetent fool, trust me 😭😭 - gets late on the regular cause he always takes the wrong turn - the one "jock" who isn't anything like a stereotypical jock? like he hangs out with soon-to-be valedictorian nami, idiot luffy, theatre kid!ussop and cook!sanji - nobody can understand how this friend group was formed??? - actually gets asked out a decent amount of times and always says "nah, im good" and walks away to his friends - people are starting to suspect if he's dating luffy from how hard their bromance is going "zolo!!! gooDMORNING!!" luffy yells as he launches onto zoro in the middle of the hallway at 8:03 am on a random tuesday zoro casually drops his backpack to catch luffy "morning" zoro replies as if it's casual behaviour - the amount of trophies the school has in his name is insane (nation level martial artist, roronoa zoro) - he is actually decent at school, he is just average and he's fine by it he doesn't give all that much of a shit in the academic sphere - casually pulls up to the parents-teacher meet with thE FUCKING WORLD REKNOWNED MARTIAL ARTIST, DRACULE MIHAWK??? "i see he passed in all his exams. how wonderful, zoro. let's leave now." "aight" - he doesn't even think twice when asked if he knows mihawk, he's just like "yeah that's my dad what about him?" - a certified dumbass in every universe

sanji:

- listen to me this mf went to masterchef junior and fucking won and people only know this cause the school hyped him up and not because he wanted people to know "omg sanji did you actually win-" "no that was my twin brother sanjo, please leave me alone" - actually prim and properly dressed, shows up at time everyday and gives in all of his assignments and submissions well before the due date (he is partially responsible for keeping zoro and luffy on track) - he was the one making cupcakes when nami was organizing a fundraiser for a nearby orphanage, he was the one who baked cookies cause sabo wanted to hand them out on his last day of school, he was the one who baked cakes for his classmate's surprise birthday party - rumor has it if you get on good terms with sanji, a mysterious box of homemade chocolate will be there in your locker the next day - despite all the hype he has, mf still gets no girls - like luffy, he is insanely kind to those who need help - has gotten almost suspended once for beating up a senior year kid for bullying a freshmen (luffy and zoro just stood by and laughed as that kid got his ass handed to him) - he is the son of THE FUCKING OWNER OF BARATIE, A FIVE STAR MICHELLIN RESTAURANT THAT IS FREQUENTED BY CELEBRITIES ALL THE TIME "omg omg sanji is it true that the rock visited your restaurant last night?!" "yeah, his daughter wanted to eat my tiramisu, she's really sweet" - so chill always (but simultaneously losing his shit) - the kinda person you'd love hanging out with - as i said, in any universe, he is still single (feed him the rizz rizz fruit pls)

a/n: tried something new tell me do you like it or love it?

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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hi it's the good omens mascot here's some shit about me that might be relevant

I appear to have accidentally caused chaos so I figured you might as well know about me since I'm responsible for it. And also so that you know who you broke, thanks ineffable fandom.

I have been called the prophet by some of you all. This is not entirely untrue, but I would like to add as I did in one post, that Apollo also gave me the curses of art, (very emotional) music, (sometimes good mostly dreadful) poetry, (same parentheses apply, except that the dreadful is on purpose) writing and (used to be good now dreadful) medical knowledge, and so yes, you did accidently adopt a messenger of an ancient Greek god.

Yes, this entire entry into your cult happened from start to now happened in 48 hours.

This will seem less bizarre when I give you context about me and fandoms. I changed career paths (after three years of intense study that cost me my sanity) from science to the arts because I was inspired by drarry fanfiction of them leaving their ministry jobs and following their dreams. Yes I tossed three years and my loss of sanity away in one week of decisions. I'm now a designer. Thanks Draco.

I read so much drarry fanfiction that my mum had to take me to the hospital for injured wrists. I wore wrist and elbow supports and was in constant pain for a few months. I was only later introduced to autoscroll. Yes, I am a fool. Yes, I am unaware of how to human.

I'm broke and cheap enough that I feel guilty buying bottled water, but for Christmas I spent the equivalent of around 150 bottles of water getting a Bakewell tart custom made (they don't sell them where I live). Why? Because in one single fanfiction, it is Draco's favourite food. I would never spend that kind of money on a dessert for any real human being.

That is to say, you all are not ready for when I REALLY fall for Crowley. I don't saunter vaguely downwards for people. I bypass earth and crash into hell, leaving a smoking pit in its infernal ground.

I swear I'm not as dumb as I seem, I just have ZERO general knowledge, and am terrible with faces. I can tell you what the graffiti on the walls of Pompeii from before 70 AD said but I don't know who my previous president was, and personally I think that's very classy of me.

Some of you seem concerned about my sleep schedule. Worry not, I sleep in four installments, night, morning nap, afternoon nap, evening nap. I sleep more than you all, that I can promise. I sleep more than my doggy sister.

About the streams and the timezones, I have no idea how to make it so people can watch, because I frequently mix up east and west and last morning I mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic ocean. I don't know at what point the Eastern hemisphere becomes the Western or how any of it works. I also thought Wakanda was a real place.

But hey fun fact, in 2020 diclofenac sales were dropping in Iceland. I know this because I wanted to make sure to use the correct painkiller in one sentence of a story I was writing. It was completely irrelevant. But hey any of you writers here probably feel my pain. I don't write fanfiction, but I am an author and I write original stories. And honestly what is more useful, Icelandic diclofenac sales from three years ago or timezones?

A career test once told me to be a standup comedian.

Yes that's me Asmi, just your regular dumbass lad who is slightly unhinged, serving himbo twink energy, hello hi nice to meet you all. PS: the poll results are out and Doctor Who won, so tremble, DW fandom.

#good omens fandom #good omens mascot #asmi #weirdly-specific-but-ok #this is me y'all #good omens brainrot #thanks for breaking me i figured you should know about me #crowley #just crowley i'm going to shatter soon #drarry #draco malfoy #fandom culture #fandom things #doctor who #dw fandom #more inaccurate summaries coming up #good omens #fanfiction #and how it ruined and saved me

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tidetfs · 20 days

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Dan stared at the bottle he had ordered. Never thinking it would actually have arrived from the sketchy online seller, the liquid within shone a bright orange. Bringing the bottle to his nose, the 20-year old nerdy college student recalled the ad: "become a hot, dumb, smelly, musky, blonde himbo Aussie surfer dude with long hair!" - what he initially thought as ridiculous and something that would only live in his fantasies, he began to think the ad might have been a little real as he popped the cork and gave it a sniff, recoiling. It smelled like the combination of the sea and a high school locker room!

The ad had promised a transformation time of 30 minutes, and for the effects to last forever! Dan looked around at his room...did he really want to do this? Leave his nerdy life behind? As soon as he began to have doubts, he forced himself to rip the cork off the bottle. Before the smell got too bad, Dan imagined the stuff was just a shot of vodka he always saw his hot roommate taking, plugged his nose, and downed the whole bottle.

As he finished the last drops of the nasty liquid, Dan felt the effects immediately. His stomach felt warm and gurgly. A wave of heat and energy washed over his body, causing him to drop the empty bottle and fall to his knees. He suddenly felt rejuvenated, as if he could go outside right this instant and put his pudgy body through a fifty mile run, while at the same time feeling a strong urge to vomit. As Dan tried to stand, he felt another wave of heat coursing through his body. Dan screamed as his veins felt like they would burst out of his skin, falling back to the floor.

Dan moaned again as the heat began to become unbearable, his shirt becoming wet with sweat as he struggled to pry it off. Panting, Dan struggled to remove his shorts too, almost feeling as if he was basking in the hot summer sun. Once his clothes were all off, Dan laid there on the floor, a puddle of sweat surrounding his body. Suddenly, the vomiting urge disappeared, and was replaced by a new one.

"I-I'm horny..." Dan mumbled as he reached down to stroke his hardening cock, a few inches long. He had never been able to get hard, and certainly had never had a wet dream or orgasm, let alone masturbate. But now, Dan couldn't stop himself from touching his cock, and the feeling was electric. It had never felt so good before!

"What is this?!" Dan gasped as his cock seemed to pulse with each stroke. Dan was in heaven, his whole body tingling as he began to play with his nipples, never before having considered that area pleasurable. He didn't even notice the slow growth of hair on his arms, chest, and legs. As Dan began to furiously stroke his lengthening cock, small blonde hairs began to peek out of his head, and a thin patch of pubic hair sprouted. Dan moaned and thrashed about, his cock pulsing with pleasure as it slowly became longer and thicker, surpassing 9 inches and growing to the width of a beer can. Dan began thrusting into his hand as the pulsating head spurted precum like a fountain, dribbling down to his new mess of blonde public hairs that was still growing, becoming an out of control forest reeking of fresh sweat.

"Oh fuck yes" Dan moaned as the rest of him began to grow. Dan's feet began to pulse and crack spreading across the cold tile floor as wild, bushy tufts of bright blonde hair sprouted between his toes and grew up his feet, soon surpassing size 12 as Dan cried out in pleasure. His legs began to swell, becoming thick, toned and covered in sweaty, sticky blonde hair, reeking of male scent and...gnarly waves? Dan began to question how he would know this smell, but the heat overcame him again as his legs pushed him taller to a striking 6'2. His thighs and ass swelled, his hips and waist widening with them as his muscles grew stronger and thicker, his ass cheeks soon swelling to the size of a small chair cushion and bouncing with every move, his hips wider than the doors as he was left with a small, round, bubble butt that shook like jello when he moved. Here too, a jungle of smelly, sweaty blonde hair consumed his ass as Dan screamed in pleasure, his hands kneading the soft flesh as he thrusted his cock into the air.

"Yesssssss" Dan cried, as the heat began to spread up from his crotch to his abdominals. His stomach began to grow outward, the pudge melting away and giving way to a firm, chiseled, rock hard 6-pack abs that glistened with sweat. Dan's nipples became dark, sensitive nubs of flesh, his pecs swollen with muscle as they began to pulse. Screaming at the pleasure coursing through his chest, Dan ran his hands up the chiseled surface of his abs, feeling them become coated in a sheen of rancid sweat that would never truly wash away. As he began to grope and massage his bloating man tits, the blonde jungle from his crotch began to consume his chest and underarms, his armpits turning into a wet, sweaty pit that would forever stink, the blonde hair growing thicker and curlier with each second. Even with his arms resting at his sides, the pits would still spill outwards, a mountain of hairy flesh and sweat. His chest became swollen, the pecs now growing large and round, a pair of thick, perky, sweaty man tits that would shake like water balloons with any movement. The hair on his chest went into overdrive, thickening and spreading as a trail formed up the middle of his back, ensuring any shirt he wore would be ruined by sweat, no matter the number of showers he had.

As Dan continued to massage the still-growing mounds of muscle on his chest, his arms began to pulse with the summer heat. With each wave, Dan screamed in ecstasy, as the veins and muscles underneath his skin swelled, becoming thicker and bigger. The reeking blonde jungle from his crotch and chest, now complete, consumed his biceps, triceps, and forearms, growing into a dense mat that would only grow and grow until the day he died, a permanent, rancid stench that would make him the subject of attention wherever he went. Dan moaned as his arms began to flex, his hands reaching up to the ceiling as his hands swelled, growing longer, larger, and thicker, the hands of a brute. As he used his new hands on his raging cock, he felt the heat once more as his shoulders began to pulse, feeling them widen as his back grew thick and powerful with strong muscle, his broad shoulders bulging with the same power.

"O-oh f-fuck..." Dan moaned, as he flexed his arms, feeling them bulge with raw strength, biceps and triceps thicker than a normal person's thighs, the smelly blonde jungle making them seem even bigger. He breathed deeply as his cock continue to leak, his whole body dripping with sweat, as the heat began to travel up into his neck as it grew thicker and wider, giving him the appearance of the jocks he wanted so much to be like. Dan moaned, feeling his voice drop deeper and deeper into a low, sensual baritone as his Adam's apple pushed outwards, forming a thick, protruding knot.

As Dan reached down to play with his hairy ass, his face began to tingle. His eyes fluttered and closed as his nose cracked pushed outwards, giving the slightly crooked appearance that it had once been broken as his lips grew plumper and fuller as his longer tongue licked their edges. Dan's teeth grew dull and slightly crooked, a perfect set for the dumb surfer boy he was becoming. A low, sensual chuckle came from deep within his chest as his jaw cracked, growing larger and wider as his cheekbones bulged.

"Heheheh" Dan chuckled again, his new, low voice reverberating throughout his body, as blonde stubble began to appear on his face and neck. Dan's hands caressed the smooth, baby-like skin of his face, before it erupted into a wild, dense jungle, covering his entire head. The smell was unbearable, but Dan could do nothing but moan in ecstasy as he raised his muscular arm to huff the sea of hair spilling from his pit. He breathed deeply, smelling the mixture of his rancid male musk, salty sweat, and the ocean, feeling a nostalgic sense of returning home. He moaned again in his new, low voice as his skull began to grow a thick set of curly, sweaty blonde locks, only adding to the smell as the last of his short, black hair changed color and began to spill behind his ears. Dan moaned again, the sound of his voice sending shivers down his spine, as his mouth filled with saliva.

"Fuuuuuck" he moaned, his tongue swirling around in the saliva, causing some to spill out as drool onto his still pulsing cock, earning Dan another wave of pleasure as his greasy locks grew even more curly, reaching the back of his neck. Dan opened his eyes, the pupils now a beautiful aquamarine, and watched his hair grow in the mirror, the light from the window glinting off the golden blonde curls.

"D-do I have long hair?" Dan mumbled, his mouth filled with spit, as he stood up and walked over to the mirror. Dan's cock bobbed with each step, precum flying everywhere, as he stared at his new, sexy, handsome body.

"I-I look like a surfer" Dan said slowly, looking at his long, wet, curly locks, shining like gold in the light. He looked at his strong, muscular arms, the blonde hair shining as it cascaded down to the jungle on his hands, before continuing to his chest. Dan's hands moved to his pecs, feeling them, before his hands traced the outline of his six pack. "I'm strong..." Dan muttered, watching his cock twitch and bob. Dan looked up to the mirror again, his new model-like face staring back at him. He looked at the blonde curls, his thick, wet, red lips, and his aquamarine eyes, feeling the drool dribble down his chin and the scent of the sea and man sweat fill the room.

Suddenly, Dan realized the potion had one more surprise for him as he felt a splitting headache, his hair growing even faster and longer.

"Owowowowwwwww" Dan moaned, grabbing his head and bending forward. His hair grew and grew, his hands running through the wavy curls, slick with grease, salt, and sweat. He looked in the mirror again, noticing a subtle shift in his eyes as he quickly realized what was happening. "Wait, n-no-" he started, as he quickly began going over calculus facts from his advanced college course, before the pain became unbearable.

Dan cried out, the words and math in his head becoming more complicated and foreign as the pain slowly morphed into a gentle, pleasant vibration. The words and math slowly slipped from his mind, his once brilliant brain turning into a dumb, empty hole, as it became harder and harder for Dan to picture even basic metal math. "Fuuuuck" Dan moaned again as the pleasant vibration consumed his whole being. "Fuckin A..." Dan whispered in his new, deep timbre as complex thoughts became harder and harder to imagine, almost feeling like he was high. He chuckled again, as the words and math disappeared from his mind. "N-nooo, I'm dumb..." Dan slurred, his voice sounding slow and drunk.

Dan blinked and chuckled, as his mind turned completely empty, only capable of simple, primal thoughts and urges. "I'm horny..." Dan growled, his voice sounding like the sexy, rugged surfer he had always dreamed of being. His new, handsome, chiseled face broke out into a stupid grin, a look that would become the new himbo's default expression. "But the fuck am I doing here..." Dan chuckled again as his dorm room began to shift and morph. He blinked and giggled as the white, clean walls turned to a worn, brown wood. He blinked and laughed as his desk shifted and molded, becoming a simple bed frame and dresser, his computer changing into a surfboard and a cooler.

"Oh fuck yessssssss" Dan moaned, his cock pulsing and dripping precum. "I'm at the beach!" Dan cried, looking around his new room. There was a small, circular window where his door had once been, allowing the sunlight to illuminate his room. Even the time on the clock changed as the heat accosted Dan one final time, this time in his vocal cords.

"Owowowow" Dan groaned and coughed as the final effects took place. His vocal cords became even more raw, coarse, and masculine, his voice dropping an octave lower. "What the fuck, mate" he gasped, his accent changing as he spoke. Gone was his once boring, nondescript American accent, replaced by a low, gruff, sexy Aussie drawl, his words slurred together and slow as he vigorously jacked his still-hard cock, his blonde pubes caked with sweat.

"Oh fuck, oh shit, uhhhh" Dan moaned, his balls beginning to pulse as the heat traveled from his neck down his spine. "G-gonna...cummm..." Dan moaned, feeling the pressure build in his nuts. He felt them begin to pulse, and then he exploded, the biggest, loudest orgasm of his life erupting from his cock, the stream of cum enormous as the windows fogged up and the floor began to soak. His cock pulsed and pulsed, a seemingly endless river of cum.

"Ughhh" Dan grunted, as his orgasm finally began to subside. "Awww shit, my dick's really fuckin big" Dan giggled, the sound reverberating through his room and causing the glass in the window to vibrate. "Mmmm, but my balls are so heavy" he groaned, cupping his fat nuts and letting the weight settle.

As he heard the final change, a small crackling noise coming from his brain, he realized the beach was gone, his old, boring life was gone, and a whole new world had opened up for him. He would never forget his old life, but it would always seem to Dan as a distant memory. Dan giggled, as his brain finally stopped working, replaced with a dumb, happy, empty void, incapable of stress or worry.

"Fuck yeah, mate!" Dan cried, his stupid, happy grin returning. "I'm a surfer dude!" he yelled, his accent slurred. He jumped around his new beachside shack, the dumb himbo bouncing around the room. He was naked, and the heat from the sun warmed his sweaty, blonde, hairy body. He breathed deeply once more, the salty, fresh air filling his lungs, the scent of the ocean mixing with the pungent smell of his own rancid, musky male scent, before walking to his dresser, his cock still hard and leaking. "Man, I gotta get my trunks on if I'm gonna score tonight" he giggled. Dan's mind was empty and happy, only able to process the most simple of thoughts, and that was good enough for him.

As he grabbed his favorite swim trunks and slipped them on, he walked back over to the window, looking out onto the beach. There were hot girls and guys, all scantily clad and tan, running about, playing in the waves and lounging. He could feel the sand between his toes, and could almost taste the cool, crisp water of the sea. He was finally free of his old life, and now he was here, the happiest himbo surfer there ever was.

#dumber #himbo tf #male tf #surfer tf

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princesscolumbia · 7 months

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Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

#captain r'el #dal r'el #captain janeway #captain picard #captain sisko #captain kirk #captain pike #captain archer #captain georgiou #captain burnham #captain freeman #Star Trek Captains - Review and Category

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b00tyliciousbabe · 1 month

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hey i don’t know if you’re taking requests but if so can you write a bottom male reader x himbo Jordan Riki where they’re fucking at home after the game and Jordan is horny as fuck and wants to celebrate the win?

thank you so much :)

THIS EATS SO HARD! omds i love this. and of course, imma try my best to write. ENJOY!

update: my apologies to whoever sent me this request, life’s just been lifin’ - STREAM SUBMISSIVE BY DESTIN CONRAD!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙

trophy

jordan riki x male reader

summary: for jord’ you’re the only prize worth playing for.

notes: AHHH! my first request. lowkey kinda exciting, but i went way off on a tangent. nonetheless…still spicy xx

song rec: ‘lite’ by downtown kayoto

a few minutes passed as you admiringly watched him pop champagne for the celebratory pictures. ‘Y/N!’ a young woman screamed. you turned back to see it was sienna, who was going out, with jordan’s best friend, jock. ‘omds! i ain’t seen you in forever, how’ve you been?’ hugging her, you match the excitable energy her smile expressed. it was so nice having someone who understood the pressure of being with a sportsman and how demanding it was. the championship was being held in scotland and thus, the NRL had paid for the entire team to stay in the most beautiful hotel. on the walk back, you and sienna spoke about your plans for the future, mostly on the topic of marriage. ‘i hear congratulations are in order, i am so happy for you and jock!’ you smile at her ‘took him long enough,’ sienna joked as she flashed the engagement ring. ‘i cannot wait, plus as my man of honour, we need to start prepping real soon.’ she says going into bridezilla mode already. ‘trust it’s gonna be the best day ever.’ you sigh stopping in your tracks, ‘what’s wrong, Y/N?’ sienna expresses concern. ‘I’ve just been thinking a lot about how my relationship with jordan,’ you start to tear. ‘sometimes i feel like he will only ever see me as his teenage crush, and not something more.’ you finally admitted and it was like a weight off of your chest. ‘Y/N, i completely understand, but jordan is obsessed with you, he’s always telling me and jock about how he’s just waiting for the right time to pop the question.’ her words were so comforting, and left you with a calming sentiment.

you made your way up to the hotel room, and as you opened the door, you were greeted with roses on the floor. you looked up to see the chiselled figure of your man lying naked on the bed and shimmering in the moonlight. ‘jordan, what is all this?’ you asked, stunned by his grand gesture. ‘i couldn’t celebrate knowing that i left my boy on his own’ he got up and began to undress you. towering above you, he lifted your chin to place a sloppy kiss on your lips. you’d never seen him like this before, dominant with his touch and so submissive with his heart. you pulled off your baggy jeans with one swift move, as you knelt down wearing a vest and boxers.

‘such an eager slut aren’t you,’ he spits into your mouth as you look up at him with bright eyes. ‘careful now,’ you whispered, teasing the underside of his cock with the tip of your tongue ‘i don’t have to suck you off.’ to which jordan snickered at your attempt to manipulate. without warning he shoved his dick inside your mouth. ‘ahhh,’ he breathed ‘much better.’ your lips felt so warm around him and he always appreciated how you were always there to use as his own. he began thrusting deeply, as the percussion of his balls slapping your chin made a beautiful symphony of pleasure alongside your gagging and slobbering on his rod. ‘fuck you look so pretty.’ He groaned ‘I could marry you rn.’ a request he subconsciously muttered under his breath. this sentiment was not lost on you and you stopped to deepthroat him fully, suctioning at the this base of his large dick. ‘SHIIIIIIIIIIIT.’ he grunted, holding your curls in adoration. jordan pulled you off him as you giggled with pride watching how he was entranced by the slick you painted on his pole.

you rise onto your feet, staring up into his eyes. wrapping your arms around his broad neck as he placed light spanks on your ass, kneading your dough with his big, coarse hands. jordan invaded your mouth, using his tongue to fast himself on your lips. his fingers spread your thick cheeks apart as he circled around your taint. ‘jump baby.’ he said deeply as his passion overcame him. you obliged as he placed you lovingly on your back, the bed of rose petals adorned your skin, making this erotic painting all the more romantic. your bf climbed onto you and raised your legs above your head. like a jigsaw, you molded them to fit onto his shoulders, with jordan’s piece knocking at your entrance. your pussy lips puckered at the prospect of getting wrecked, making it easy for him to slip in. ‘jord…’ you moan at how full you felt, signalling to him that he needed to go slowly. ‘easy baby, let me know if it’s too much.’ he reassures, adjusting himself inside you slipping in the last couple of inches. ‘I’m all in now love, I’m gonna go faster okay?’ He kisses your neck as you stroke his biceps.

he bowed his head into the crook of your neck, rutting into you viciously as you cradled his head. ‘fuck babe, fuuuck.’ you both scream ‘marry me…’ he mutters again, you clearly heard it this time. he continues pounding your pussy as his breathing gets deeper. ‘marry me already…’ slipped out as he moaned in ecstasy. ‘fuck yes, I’ll marry you babe,’ you matched his energy as he stopped in his tracks. he stared at you like a lost puppy. ‘shitttt, it wasn’t meant to be like this, i had a whole thing planned afterwards, we were gonna go on a walk, i was gonna go down on one knee and-‘ you cut your man off with a kiss that reminded you of the early days of your relationship. ‘I love you jordan, it doesn’t matter where we are or what we are doing, but i will never stop loving you.’ he started tearing up. ‘Y/N how am i the one crying when it’s you that ain’t gonna be walking for the next week?’ he joked to lighten up the mood. ‘aw babe,’ you whined, kissing him once more ‘if it makes you feel better, i can erase what you said from my memory?’ he smiled into yet another tongue dance ‘nah, don’t even worry about it sweetheart, imma fuck u so dumb you don’t even be able to remember your name.’ he threatened, pressing on your abdomen to feel how deep he was inside of you. his dick twitched as your slick hole was doing so well cockwarming him.

by the end of the night, he had dumped his load into 4 times, and while you laid on his chest, he couldn’t stop thinking about his win. not just the game or player of the season, but how he had won your heart. so while you were asleep , somehow so tired to the point you’d completely forgotten his proposal, he looked up at the ceiling and dreamt about your wedding.

@gayaristocrat dacre is up next ml <3 what typa scenario are we thinking?

#gay #bottom male reader #smut #gay male #gay reader #male x male #male bottom #jordan riki

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ncroissant · 27 days

Text

chilchuck tims x bimbo! reader x laios touden

summary: how your poly relationship with your little lock picker and blond himbo would start<3

wc: 1.6k

content warning: sfw (for once???), looottts of fluff

author's note: surprise!! i'm writing both lmaoooo bc i love writing sm u guys. also i saw @ququoquaw post about how they wanted more laios x reader and laios x chilchuck, so here's all of it combined teehee!! hope u enjoy !!

(alt nsfw ver. here)

it was a slow day in the dungeon today that you all decided to just set up the camp and retired for the night. you, laios and chilchuck were the only ones up, playing cards around the warmth of the fire.

"i won again," chilchuck chuckled, already anticipating his win. laios threw down his cards in defeat while you gave him a little applause, yawning quietly.

to be honest, you were already dozing off mid-game. chilchuck and laios were the real night owls. you just had fomo and didn't miss out on the fun with the "adults".

"you feelin' tired, (name)? wanna head to bed?" chilchuck cooed, pushing off his knees to stand up. he noticed the way you were eyes would close for a second to doze off every time you blinked.

"mmnn...i dunno," you yawned even bigger this time, cupping your mouth with both of your hands.

"c'mon (name)! you gotta stay up with us, we're gonna have so much fun!" laios chuckled, shaking you awake. you gasped, trying to keep your eyes as open as possible. but you only had the energy to slump against laios' shoulder.

chilchuck stifled a laugh. you reminded him of his kids when they tried to convince him they weren't tired. "no, i think someone sounds a little tired," chilchuck walked over to kneel in front of you, brushing away the hair that fell over your eyes with two fingers.

"nu-uh..." you whined, rubbing at your eyes. "'m awake, chi." you were so not awake right now. it was way past your bedtime and you couldn't even bother to open your eyes.

"okay, okay, we're bringin' you to your room, squirt," laios nodded, lifting you into his arms. your arms and legs were securely wrapped around his body, your face stuffed into his neck.

"'m not a squirt, jerk," you mumbled, landing a weak punch against his back.

they both laughed at your deliriousness, placing you in the warmth of your bed, cocooned your blanket. "she looks like a caterpillar," laios slapped a hand over his mouth, hiding a loud laugh.

chilchuck didn't say anything in response, but his shoulders were shaking from laugher.

you were almost asleep, your arms splayed out on the bed and your head lulled to the side. you were breathing shallowly, feeling sleep slowly overtake you.

"alright, time for another round, chil!" laios silently ushered chilchuck towards the door, but a hand wrapped around chilchuck's wrist. the boys looked down at you with your eyes still closed, tugging his wrist towards you.

"can you guys stay 'n sleep with me?" you brought chilchuck's hand against your cheek, nuzzling against it. both boys had a fat, soft spot for you. like they could never resist you when you asked for something.

laios didn't understand his feelings at first. he thought he had some sort of "brotherly obligation" towards you like falin, but he quickly realized it was a lot different than that.

chilchuck, on the otherhand, was in denial for so long. he just thought you were ditzy and clingy. he didn't have the energy to deal with you at first. plus, he didn't even have any desire to date anymore. unfortunately, there were many times when you could be stupidly cute like this.

"y-yeah...we can. right, chil?" laios rubbed his neck awkwardly, looking at chilchuck for approval.

chilchuck bit his inner cheek in contemplation, looking down at the way you were leaning against the back of his hand like a puppy. "yeah, we can," he nodded, giving laios the same look.

they'd be so awkward slipping under your sheets, laying on either side of you to sandwich you in the middle. they kept a reasonable distance, not too reasonable since the bed was small and laios was a giant in comparison.

it would be so quiet. your eyes were still closed but your heart was racing. even if you opened your eyes, you wouldn't be able to see anything since it was so dark. you just laid there with your hands clasped on your chest.

"ummm...." laios started, cutting the silence. "am i taking up too much space?" he was nearly falling off the bed, just balancing on the edge of the mattress.

you pulled him closer towards you and chilchuck. "c'mere, lai," you nestled yourself safely into laois' chest, while pressing your back against chilchuck's chest. you could feel both hearts beat rapidly along with yours.

"thanks," laois mumbled, carefully putting an arm right above your head on the extra space of the pillow. his free arm was loosely wrapped around your head as he lightly patted the back.

chilchuck would grumble something about wanting more attention, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin on your shoulder.

he was so close that you could feel his breath tickle your ears. it made you feel so tingly. "is this okay?" chilchuck pouted with puffed cheeks as you nodded, flushed. "i think it's time for us to sleep now, hm?" he rubbed your hips softly, lulling you to sleep.

"sweet dreams, (name)," laios hugged you tightly, ruffling your hair gently. chilchuck would be already asleep and laios would lay awake thinking about how small you felt in his arms.

the next morning, you and chilchuck would be well-rested, looking like babies fresh out the womb. laios would have the deepest dark circles, devoid of any rest.

"slept so well!" you were already sitting up, stretching out your arms with a hearty yawn. "what about you two?" you looked at them expectantly.

"that's good to hear. i slept like a rock honestly," chilchuck chuckled, combing through your messy strands of hair. "can't say the say for him though," he looked down at the way laios was trying to hide under the blankets from the bright rays shining through your window.

"uuuughhhhh....." laios whined, stuffing his face deeper into the pillow.

you pouted at his sorry state, lifting the blanket to reveal a very tired laios. "aw, you didn't sleep so well, did you lai?" you frowned, carding your fingers through his blond locks.

"no. i was too scared that i was gonna roll over and kill you in my sleep, so i just stayed up all night," he groaned, clutching his throbbing head in a tight grasp.

you stifled a laugh, covering your mouth with your hands. "you're so silly, lai," you giggled, biting back your smile. "'m tougher than you think," you flexed your arms, patting them lightly with a big smile.

laios looked at you with his mouth agape. he didn't know if it was because of the rays of sun or if you were just naturally this beautiful, but you were extra pretty smiling like that.

"i am so in love with you." he'd blurt out, thinking with his heart and not his head.

you lowered your arm, mirroring the surprised look on his face. chilchuck smacked his forehead, sighing. "what he meant to say is-"

"no, i meant it, (name)," laios cut him off, clasping your hands in his and looking up at you with serious look. chilchuck didn't expect him to be so bold, emotions stirring up inside of him. he didn't know if should add his piece into this mess.

"oh." you looked at him, not a single thought behind those eyes.

"i'm sorry if i messed things up between us, but i just had to tell you. i didn't mean to just blurt it out like that," laios apologized, removing his hands from your hastily.

"no, 's not like that, lai," you put your hands up, shaking your head. "'s just i like chi," you bit your lip, cheeks flushed.

both boys looked at you dumbfounded. one heartbroken, one with an equally flushed expression like yours.

"but i like you too, lai!" you reassured him, placing your hands on his. "i like...both of you," you frowned, feeling embarrassed from your confession.

it's not that you only liked one of them, but both of them. and you were having a hard time choosing which one you wanted, knowing both would be too greedy.

it was silent for a moment, but not for too long. both boys had figured out a way to ease your predicament. one look at each other and instantly figured out a solution.

"well, i like you. and chil likes you too, so," laios started, rubbing his neck.

"would you be open to dating us both?" chilchuck mumbled, his neck completely flushed. chilchuck was familiar with sharing since having kids, but sharing a lover with his best friend was completely different.

it wasn't that he was against it at all, it was just new. it flustered him. knowing he'd be dating both of you if you agreed with their proposal.

naturally, your eyes lit up at their suggestion. "really?" your smile was almost blinding, your cheeks flushed in excitement.

"yeah," the two boys looked at each other, nodding.

your squeal was almost deafening. you wrapped an arm around each boy, pulling them in and kicking your feet under the blanket. the happiness you felt was fathomable.

"you're both mine, eee!" you sung, rubbing your cheek against chilchuck's amber hair. "and you're both each others' too!" you gasped, looking at both boys.

"that's so cool!" you cheered, hugging them both tighter than before.

as tired as laios was, he could only indulge in your happiness. and as much as chilchuck didn't want to admit, you were the prettiest when you were happy.

the entire morning consisted of you goofing off with your himbo + dilf boyfriends !!

#chilchuck #chilchuck x reader #chilchuck tims #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck tims x reader #dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims delicious in dungeon #laios #laios touden #laios touden x reader #laios dungeon meshi #laois delicious in dungeon #chilchuck delicious in dungeon #fluff #x reader #ncrescent

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i-cant-sing · 11 months

Text

Platonic Yandere Gojo with sister reader is also plaguing my mind. Just the absolute control he has over her life because he is the most powerful being in the universe, so everyone must listen to him if they want to live. If Gojo tells his clan to lock you in your room, they do. They don't even ask questions, don't bat an eye when you cry and beg to be let out. No, they stand outside and wait for their next command. If Gojo tells them to get rid of so and so person because they looked at you for a second too long, the clan does it with efficiency. If Gojo tells them to make sure you drink enough water, it doesn't matter if you're hydrated, the clan will make sure to hold you down and unintentionally waterboard you as they make sure you drink.

No one is allowed to talk to you, interact with you, not even smile at you unless Gojo tells them. Its all a part of his plan- to isolate you in every way possible until you start becoming insecure and feel like an alien, and then when dear old brother Gojo comes to visit you, you all but wrap yourself around him and practically beg for his attention.

You have an s/o? Maybe he's some poor servant of the clan who fell in love with you and starts dating you secretly. Boy, he was dead meat the moment he had thought of you romantically. But this time, Gojo brings you out to the backyard with him to see how he tortures your s/o to death, holding you tightly when you struggle against him. He knows its cruel, far too gore for your pure mind to see, but he must force you to watch if he wants the lesson to stick.

Never go against ni-chaan's orders.

Big brother Gojo who forbids you from leaving the estate unless he permits you to leave with his most trusted servants or with him. He just wants to keep you safe and allow you to have fun under his watchful gaze. Big brother Gojo who has strictly told you to never use your cursed energy, especially not without him? He says its because he doesnt want you or anyone else to get hurt, but its really because he doesnt want you to be able to leave him.

You try to run away from him, try to leave to country? Hell, Gojo has you on a no flight list, and he even has people at the airport holding you in a room as they wait for Gojo to come and collect you. You can go along with him crying and screaming as he drags you out and make a fool of yourself or you can go quietly as he brings you to his chest, thanking the officers for keeping you safe. Either way, no one will come to your rescue.

The sooner you realise that there is no escaping from him, that he is your only knight in shining armour, your captor and your protector, the only one worthy of your attention, the only person who will give you his attention and love, the only one who will hug you and wipe away the tears (even if he was the who made them spill), the better it will be for your sake (and everyone else's). He may have locked you in your room, chained you up and yes, he will be a jerk to you as most brothers usually are, but once you give up and apologise (you dont know what for, but u apologise), Gojo will free you and let you cling to his arms, shushing you as he allows you to stain his clothes with tears and snot, telling you that he's oh so proud of you for finally coming to your senses and realising your mistake.

"Y/n, shh its okay now. Stop crying, cmon. You know I'm not mad at you. No, you're my little sister. I only have your best interests in mind. I'm the only one who loves you, Y/n."

But while the idea of Gojo not allowing you to date is delicious, what is more intriguing than Gojo trying to set you up with Megumi, a child who he raised/groomed and sweet boy Megumi also has yandere tendencies for you. So, Gojo brings you to Jujutsu High with him so that you can fall in love with his protege Megumi.

You however must be blind because you fall for himbo boy Yuji instead and honestly, a little bit for Sukuna too.

Gojo is just trying not combust into flames, even if he's smiling as he beckons you to come with him (abd away from Yuji). Megumi is just trying not have a meltdown and kill his bff Yuji in jealousy but he forgets all about that when you ask if he'll join you and Gojo for lunch?

Oomph imagine Gojo's reaction when he sees you kiss Yuji for the first time, and you and Yuji remain unaware of Sukuna sticking his tongue out from Yuji's cheek and mocking Gojo. Like unhinged Gojo appears way earlier than he was supposed to, ripping Yuji off you and blasting him off while dragging you to your room to lock you away and its actually more for your safety than his because Gojo is trying very hard to not actually harm you. He needs to blow off steam and what better way than to make Yuji allow Sukuna to take over his body and fight him. And now its upto Megumi to hold back Gojo and stop him from killing his best friend, but perhaps... Megumi could hold that off for a bit so that he could console you. I mean, he needs to be there physically to wipe your tears away. He could always wipe off the blood later... if Yuji's still alive.

Yeah, Gojo wont kill him. Maybe.

#yandere gojo #yandere gojo saturo #yandere gojo satoru #yandere megumi #yandere megumi fushiguro #yandere jjk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk sukuna #sukuna x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fanfic #gojou satoru x you

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sunshine-and-moonshine · 10 months

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Cod Men in a Dating Sim

Requested: No

Warnings: Light bit of angst

A/N: Did I watch a bunch of (and by that I mean 3) dating games just so I could get inspiration for this? ……Maybe

Ghost - The Punk/Goth Guy

By far the hardest and most frustrating character to romance, Ghost’s route leaves even the most seasoned completionist in tears. People who attempt to do playthroughs of the game won’t even attempt it, and much of his route is virtually unknown. His trust is hard won and easily lost, even the tiniest of mistakes will affect your whole game with him, to the point that you could very well lose all progress with him at any point. There have been demands and petitions for the devs to change his route, calling him stupidly difficult, not worth the effort it takes. Oh but those select few who get to peek behind the curtain? Those that get to woo him and make him blush, who truly hold his heart? They’re in love, will defend him and his horrible jokes and his sad boi personality until they die.

Soap - The Himbo Jock

Soap, the cheerful and upbeat type. Always doing some sort of high energy sport in his free time, his happiness infecting you everytime you two cross paths, his smile only growing bigger every time you both talk. He always wants to be doing something with you, his arm around your waist, loud and happy and brighter than the sun. Doesn’t matter what type of activity you like doing, he wants to be doing it with you. His route is the easiest to get through and his charm draws in all kinds of people, making him almost unanimously loved through the fandom of the game. To the point that people recommending the game always say that you should start with his route first. He’s kind of the poster boy of the whole game at this point.

König - The Shy Guy

König, the sweet librarian at your local library, always so kind but painfully shy when you try and talk to him. Books almost always clutched to his chest, twiddling his thumbs and ducking his head with a blush rising under his mask if you make even the slightest attempt to get close to him, an absolute mess if you flirt with him. He’s the adorable sweetheart of the game that, even if you don’t want to romance him, is just nice and adorable in general. But when you really get into his route, he is so flirty. Granted it’s only when he thinks you can’t hear (unaware that he has literal subtitles telling you what he says). And he gets so protective, always offering to walk you everywhere and just generally tending to stick around you and show you all sorts of things he enjoys, always eager when you return the favor and show him your own favorite things.

Alejandro - The Flirt

Alejandro likely met you through your mutual friend in the game, Rudy. Coming to visit his old pal and meets you at his home, instantly all over you, suave flirtations leaving his lips every other second as he tries to get you alone every chance he can get, much to Rudy’s annoyance. At first it’s a bit of a game, just another blip in the back of his mind, nothing serious. But as time goes on, it becomes more and more serious, more genuine. His advances start to become a bit softer but now carry real feelings in them. He’s a character that many think is too sleazy at first but come to adore him and his sweet nature as you progress through his route. He’s not as loved of a character as Soap but he is in the top three, tied with Rudy.

Rudy - The Best Friend

Rudy. Sweet adorable lovable Rudy. He is the character who plays the role of the best friend with the long time crush. Very poorly hidden crush by the way. He’s never very bold with his words but his actions communicate his feelings very well. He’s always happy to talk to you, and even listens to you if you’re trying to romance another character and something goes awry. It hurts him but he puts on a good act, even if he distances a bit from you upon learning of your feelings for a different character. His sweet and supportive personality is why he ties with Alejandro in the top three favorites, and many adore him and enjoy repetitively romancing him, never seeming to get bored of finding all his secrets.

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lovdlydaz · 3 months

Text

𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴.

switch!mingi x switch!san x black!afab!reader

your boys are so dumb and in love sometimes, not knowing what or how to act around you or in public. you adore them though, but their affection can be too much for you sometimes.

warnings: fluff to smut, himbo energy, p in v, unprotected sex, praise, slight choking, slight pain kink, spanking if you squint, everyone is switches, oral (m and f receiving), js some himbo sex enjoy

a/n: i absolutely adore the idea of lovesick himbos mingi and san, they’re literally the definition of himbo energy. also ive been brainrotting on them since they’re my biases so yeah—anyways, enjoy lovelies! i just need to get this off my chest before i continue the txt series.

you loved your boys to the ends of the earth, you would do anything for them. they gave you so much energy, so much life, and they knew exactly how to make you happy whenever you were sad or stressed out about work or school. they would always give you hugs and cuddles, share their food with you and make up fun little games that you all could play in order to make you smile. they knew everything about you, and that’s what you loved about them.

so, you came home yet again feeling extremely stressed due to the amount of work your boss had put on you to do before the end of your shift. you were tired and just ready to go to bed, but your boys were on the couch playing video games and trying to kill their opponent. once they saw you slug through the door they paused the game, san coming up to you and wrapping his arms around you. “what’s wrong babe? another tough day?” he asked, to which you nodded. mingi got up and hugged you from behind, leaning his head down and smelling the nape of your neck.

your perfume you wore always never seemed to fade away, even as the day went on. you almost never reapplied it either, which mingi could smell but you still smelled like heaven. he looked up at san and gave him a look, which the man nodded. they both then pulled away from you and you were about to fall asleep from their body heat, but you stopped yourself and stayed upright to see what they had planned. you could only see through blurry eyes that they were going into your shared bedroom, closing your eyes for a little until you heard loud screaming—there they were.

they both had on princess tiaras and earrings, some pretty makeup and plump lips. you wondered how they did that so fast; but you didn’t question it. however, what you did notice was how they also had gotten into your wardrobe and got dressed that you normally didn’t wear, squeezing into them and giggling. once you realized how far they really went to make you smile your face beamed, giggling softly and looking up at the both of them. “you guys! you both look so funny—how did you even manage to fit in these?” you walked up to them and started to touch all over their dresses, smiling the entire time.

“well, apparently san knew how to put on a dress, and i just thought of it the same as wearing a long shirt—i was so wrong,” mingi exhaled, smiling once he felt your tiny hands on his body. “i only know how to put on a dress because of a concert we had that one time and i had to wear something like a dress—remember that mingi?” he asked, mingi nodding and grinning. “yeah! you looked so cool man. i wish i got to wear the cool stuff during our concerts…” he pouted, making you turn to him. “mingi, you’re one of the only people who GET to wear the cool outfits. you can’t complain,” he told him, making mingi frown but giggle after. “yeah… i guess you’re right y/n. but… do you feel better now?” he asked, both of your puppy-eyed boyfriends staring straight at you to see what you would say.

you just cheesed and laughed, nodding your head as you got out your phone. “yes, yes i do! now smileee!” you singsonged, the two men posing as you took pictures of them. once you were done you pocketed your phone, hugging them both and they wrapped your arms around you smaller form. you pulled away after a minute and looked up at the both of them, their smiles never wavering with your own.

now you three were in bed, cuddled up together and watching a movie on the big TV san had bought for your birthday. it was one of your favorite movies and, while the boys didn’t necessarily understand it, they never said anything because it always made you smile. you were the light of their lives, seeing you was the one thing that motivated them to get up in the morning. they felt like your relationship would last until the day they die. nobody could really ever break the three of you apart.

you say between the two men, basically using them as a sort of blanket even though you had one on all of you. you watched the movie with gleaming eyes, and san happened to notice that your hands were staying on your body instead of wondering like they normally would. so, he grabbed your hand and placed it in his lap, holding it but never taking his eyes off the movie. of course mingi didn’t notice this, but he wrapped his arms around you to keep you even warmer. your cuddle sessions were the best in your opinion, and you could never ever not be satisfied by the end of it.

however, there was a certain scene during the movie that always had you blushing, when the love interest and protagonist were doing some unholy things. now the hand that was on san’s lap tried to move away, but the bigger man kept it there. he knew how flustered you got with this scene, even though you watched this movie about a hundred times, this part always made you flustered. mingi knew as well, and he used it to put his hand on your thigh, running it slowly up your pajama shorts near your womanhood. you gulped, catching san’s attention.

“what’s wrong pretty girl? movie too much for you?” he purred, getting close to your ear and kissing right underneath it, near your jawline. you shivered and started to feel yourself getting aroused, whimpering softly as the men continued on. you understood why watching movies like this was a bad idea with them around, they were men in their mid twenties whose libidos were through the roof. especially with you. their dicks and muscles talked more than their brain half the time, but you enjoyed that more than you would like to admit.

now here you were, spread on the bed while san was nose deep in your pussy. mingi sat behind you, fondling your breasts and pressing his plump lips against your darker skin. “fuck baby, lookin’ so good for both of us aren’t you?” he mumbled against your skin, causing you to let out a desperate whimper as san continued with his tongue. “tastes just like chocolate too, so delicious and sweet,” the smaller man panted, going back to indulge himself in your taste. both their cocks were rock hard and throbbing against their boxers, mingi not really being secretive that you were turning him on.

he rolled his hips against your back, moving a hand away from your breasts to grab your braids, pulling them back and forcing your head back. you gasped before his lips pressed against your own, drool escaping from the disgustingly desperate kiss. you could feel your orgasm coming the more san’s tiny yet skilled tongue moved against your labia and your clit. he was eating you so good, tasting your sweetness on his tongue and making him go insane. he was so easy to get pussy drunk, you did that to him. both of your boys were so easily under the influence, your pussy had a spell on them that they couldn’t get enough of.

you pulled away from the kiss and just laid your head against mingi’s shoulder, moaning the closer you got to orgasm. “f—fuck— sannie, min— fuck!” you cried out the last part, legs shaking as your orgasm flowed all over san’s tongue. he slurped up every single bit of your juices, mingi massaging your breast and holding your neck. “good girl, that’s our good girl. now give us some more for the night yeah? can you do that baby?” he cooed, you still in the aftershocks of your orgasm but drunkly nodding. “mhm, can give y’all some more,” you breathed out, making mingi smirk.

meanwhile, when san finished he stood up from the bed, a wet spot on his boxers as he panted from the pure desire beaming within him. he looked up at you and mingi, climbing onto the bed and pressing his thinner lips against yours. you kissed back, your plump lips smearing the lipstick and lip gloss all over his lips. mingi’s hand was still around your neck, leaning down to press more kisses against your jawline and neck. you loved this attention, and they knew that. so, they stopped kissing you and moved you onto san’s lap, right against his boner that was begging to come out of their clothed confines.

san looked down at your smaller form, your braids falling over your shoulders and your lipgloss smeared all over your lips. your big e/c eyes gave him that look that made him lose his mind, so best believe he was going to give it to you good. he lifted you up softly to pull down his boxers, kicking them to the ground and sitting you back on his lap. your ass was grinding right up against his leaking hard on, making him suck in a breath and look back at mingi. the blonde haired man had his cock in his hand, stroking softly as he stared at the both of you. “go on, let her sit on it.” he commanded the black haired man, making him nod his head and grip your hips with enough tightness to have them bruise in the morning.

you looked back at san, since your back was against his chest. “please sannie, use me,” you begged oh so sweetly, you were too much for them both. that was all the black haired man needed to hear before he shoved you all the way his thick cock, hearing your sweet voice cry out with pleasure and shock. he let out a breathy moan at the feeling of your tightness around him so suddenly. you smirked down at him, grabbing his chin softly and rubbing his lip with your thumb. “you feel s’good around me sannie… such a big boy fuckin’ me,” you groaned out, making his cock twitch up inside you.

mingi watched you two with hungry eyes, he wanted in on the action but watching you start to grind your hips down on san and seeing his eyes roll back with pleasure had his attention more than his cock did, you were so sexy. your lashes fluttering with each movement, big plump lips glossy and covered with everyone’s spit as sweet moans escaped your throat. the sweet sound of your moans made the two men go absolutely insane, san’s cock was twitching madly inside of you because of how sweet you were.

mingi got an idea. he crawled over to the both of you, stopping your hips with a hard grip of your hips, tapping san’s shoulder and making him turn his head. he then whispered something in his ear, making san nod his dazed head and lay down. mingi grabbed your face and opened your mouth, spitting into it and making you swallow. you looked so dazed and you loved the messiness, it was so hot how a switch would flip inside them every time you three had sex.

the blonde was hovering over san’s face, his shaved hole right over the man’s mouth. the tallest had made sure to wash himself good too, since he didn’t want his friend and lover to taste something disgusting inside him. san’s little black eyes were hazed and filled with desire, his hands reaching up to grab mingi’s hips. he then forcefully pulled the man down to his face, basically suffocating himself with mingi’s ass. the blonde gasped and moaned softly, while his hands still holding your face guided it down to where his cock was. “fuck— suck it baby, know you can,” he grunted, you not needing to be twice before your whole mouth wrapped around his tip, your hand grabbing the parts that weren’t inside your mouth.

mingi’s eyes rolled back with pleasure, the overwhelming sensation of his boyfriend eating him out while his girlfriend sucked his dick made him lose his mind, and he loved it. san was enjoying this as well, because he was getting harder inside you and you weren’t even moving. you were getting wetter around him from hearing them both groan and whimper because of how good the sex was, you needed another orgasm.

you were on your knees and san’s hips were completely on the bed, not moving until he noticed how much your hole clenched and unclenched around him. he decided to start moving his hips, thrusting up into you and forcing your head to fly back in a frenzy. you moaned so loudly, mingi whining from the loss of contact and eyes begging you to continue. you of course didn’t see them so he grabbed your face and pushed you back onto his cock, moaning because of how good your wet mouth felt. your braids were all over the place now, sticking to your skin as sweat glistened over your chocolate body.

mingi’s eyes couldn’t believe himself, the two hottest people in the world were eating him out and sucking his dick. from watching you and san break underneath him he came in just a few minutes, filling your mouth up with his hot and tasty seed. you swallowed all you could, trying to get every last drop to savor the flavor. he rolled his eyes back and laid his head back, hands accidentally landing on san’s shoulders and pressing his whole weight onto them. san softly smacked mingi’s ass to tell him to let up, but all that elicited out of him was a moan. so, san did it again, this time harder, and the man got the message.

he let up on san, moving his ass up from his face and letting the man breathe. the black haired man’s face was covered in saliva, but he looked pleased with himself. he was still so close to orgasm, he needed something more to help him get there though. your pussy was more than enough but, he just needed more. so, mingi leaned down and kissed those thin yet cherry red lips of his, and that made him cum. you were riding him the whole time, moaning as he filled you up.

you came soon after, clamping around his sensitive cock and moaning alongside him. after a minute or so you got off of his cock, mingi staring at your creamy brown pussy ooze of you mixed contents. “c’mere honey, lemme eat you,” he panted, grabbing you softly and pulling you towards him. he laid down and sat you on his face, you rolling your eyes back as he devoured you. san was back up and kissing your lips, you whimpering into his mouth as mingi cleaned you up. after a good few minutes you came into his mouth, him cleaning up that substance as well.

after another minute or so you tapped his thigh, moving your hips away to signal your overstimulation. he let you do so, since he knew that you had work in the morning and he didn’t want you to be too late. however, he smack your ass a few times before letting you come up, you gasping at the smacks and rolling your eyes back.

san watched and bit his lip, his cock twitching but not coming back to life. mingi’s surprisingly hadn’t come back to life either, but that was because it took all his power not to get hard. you looked up at the both of them, your lashes almost falling off your face due to the sweat making the adhesive wear away, you were panting and shaking because of how good you had just felt.

your boys laid down with you, smiling and giggling because of how sweet you looked. you were so fucked out, and they knew how good they made you feel. they hugged you as you slowly drifted off, not before mumbling a sweet “good night”, to which they responded with in-unison “good night babe!” before you were out like a light. the other two stayed up to watch you, giggling and laughing while they watched you sleep. however, they did go to sleep after a few hours, and you all looked so peaceful together.

you loved your himbo boys, and they loved you. they may be air headed and think with their muscles half the time, but they knew exactly how to make you feel better and how to fuck you good. they were your world, and you were theirs. it was mutually a really great relationship.

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venuscnjunctpluto · 1 year

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Astrology Observation pt. 2

(Thank y’all for all the support on my first one❤️🙌🏾)

*as a sag Venus sag mars pls stop asking me why I’m laughing…I’m not laughing at YOU I’m just insane😝

*moon in the 1st synastry is so therapeutic you just feel really comfortable opening up to the 1st house person and as the 1st house person I feel honored someone trusts me enough to share their feelings🫶🏾

*people w aqua and libra in their big three are the chillest mfs you’ll ever meet. Even though I’m very chaotic anytime someone describes me “chill” just seems to be thrown in there. We space out ALOT and it’s honestly embarrassing😭 Ex: Alicia keys, lil Wayne, Harry styles, Rosalia. Harry gives such himbo energy in interviews and they drag him for it in the comments but he’s probably just thinking about multiple things at once. Alicia keys didn’t even realize lil mama was on that stage and went on performing lol. Obviously lil Wayne smokes but something about his energy…he’s on cloud 9. And just go watch Rosalia’s chicken shop episode💕😂.

*honestly Aries mars aren’t that bad when it comes to temper because usually they find ways to manage it. Now mars-Uranus aspects is a completely different story. I have late mars-Uranus and it takes me a while to get mad but when I do I can’t even think anymore. My old roomie had a tight square and she would blow up on people for no actual reason like girl sit down😭

*something about Scorpio mars men is just😮‍💨 they have such a sneaky energy to them that makes them stand out. Virgo mars are fine too they’re just so skinny and no matter wtf they do they’re always nerdy ugh (ex: Matthew gray gubler, Lucky daye, Dylan O’Brien, Jeff Buckley)

*i noticed Aries moon don’t really get along w each other. They find their own energy to be too mf much (which it can be) so they prefer being around more calmer people *coughs* libra moons like me. They wanna be bouncing off the walls 🤪 while their friend is just like 🙂.

* fire risings do a lot of things fast. As an Aries rising, I walk fast, get happy fast, eat fast, workout fast. My cousin is complaining her sag rising toddler eats and drinks way too fast.

*venus in 11th…how many tiktok drafts do y’all got😭

*i talked to this guy who had similar placements as me (Venus in 8th and moon in 6th plus Aquarius and Aries placements) It was so chaotic it was literally us going back and forth obsessing over eachother while trying to keep it lowkey. But also the amount of anxiety we are naturally incline to have made the whole situation too mf much.

*i have mercury conjunct my friends mars and for years she tells me the things I say can take people there and make them wanna fight me. It’s in Capricorn and so I was confused before I knew we had that aspect

* i noticed rappers whose lines always stick out to me have Gemini mars or mercury- mars (central cee, king von, tupac, kendrick , j. cole)

*i was talking to this guy and I had Venus and mars plus pluto in his 4th house. Months after we stopped talking our friend groups meshed and he would tell me non-stop I reminded him of his mother. He said she was the same height as me and y’all I was scared to ask what she looked like cause 😫 y’all remember that episode of family guy when Chris dated that girl that looked like Lois yep 4th house synastry.

*im a true crime whore and two women who killed their bfs had sun-Uranus aspects. Their energy was erratic and very off putting in videos. I can’t remember the other one but Courtney tailor/clenney was one.

* More spilling my business on the Internet😍 i think I’m done entertaining people my age. Pluto in the 8th, Lilith in 1st, and Venus conjunct Pluto synastry has been hell. Where’s my sugar daddy/mama?? It’s ghetto out here

*gemini Lilith generation whose a year younger than me is nasty asf😭 esp the tauruses they have their Lilith conjunct their Gemini Venus and opposite their Pluto. One said he had a slept w two girls at separate times. He didn’t know they met until the girls posted a selfie together and tagged him. They later told him they wanted a threesome and he did it😭 knowing astrology I believed every word

* sidebar Neptune-asc people and trying to give off innocent vibes ugh annoying asf to me. I can see right through their bs but they’re able to fool most people.

* mercury-Pluto aspects are in fact LIARS and throw a Scorpio placement in there😮‍💨

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #sag mars #harry styles #aries mars #virgo mars

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coralinnii · 1 year

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You don’t have to do this right away but Part two for idia? Its okay if you dont feel like doing it, just remember to rest and take breaks!

"If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice" feat: Idia genre: drama notes: sequel to “being reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy” Idia ver., roughly 1.2k word count, mentions of blo*d, d*ath, and life-threatening situations, is there a gn equivalent of a himbo? cuz slight himbo!reader energy, unspecified beasts,

Finally, it’s here! The long-awaited villain/ess au sequel to the final housewarden (sorry Idia and Idia simps). Admittedly, this is not so much romantic as more fleshing out of their story :p whoops. I might make a continuation of the aftermath of this but I felt like this is a decent stopping point for now.

Since accepting his growing feelings with you, Idia has been on an emotional roller coaster where he likes being around you but being around you makes him nervous to the point of almost puking. He finds himself glowing, both metaphorically and literally whenever you drop by and it doesn’t help when you seem to enjoy his personal space, seeing as you always bring yourself into said space.

He knew that if he voiced his discomfort, you would make your best effort to distance yourself but the mere idea of that doesn’t make him feel too happy either. He’s grown accustomed to seeing your eyes sparkle at his new innovations, your warmth as you scoot closer to him on the couch, your voice when you share your random thoughts and questions

“Have you ever dreamt of your own death?”

Ok, maybe he’s not too accustomed to everything you say

For a while now, you’ve experienced dreams that seem to burn themselves into your memories, forcing you to remember every detail as though the world compels you to. These dreams showed you snippets of life that seemed so real and scarily bears similarity to the real world. Your dreams foretold events in the near future which used to scare you to the point you begged your siblings to stay with you at night, assuring you it meant nothing.

In truth, you wondered if you were given a strange and powerful gift but one thing about your visions stopped that train of thought. In your dreams, you tend to behave and act in ways you never would. The you in these dreams was spoiled and mean, especially to the Shroud family which you could never bring yourself to do in a million years. Because of that, you assumed your strange visions to be your imagination going wild. An alternative reality that didn’t happen.

But for the past few weeks, you were visioning your terrible end taking place in an expedition alongside your brother. You saw yourself perish at the hands of a feral beast with your brother then seeing your sister cry over your body and proclaiming to avenge your deaths, believing it to be the doing of the Shroud family.

“What a strange dream, right?” You laughed in hopes to play off the absurdity of it all. “It’s just that…I've been seeing that dream more often now. I guess I’m more nervous about the expedition than I realise”

If it were someone else, you may have been considered strange or even going crazy. You thought Idia would see you that way or at best, try to convince you that it was nothing more than a wild fantasy, like your family does.

But Idia was not a typical man.

To be fair, you were not a typical person to him either. If it were anyone else, Idia wouldn’t care less about their troubles or at best, do the bare minimum to get them off his back. But it was the person who unknowingly stole his heart and watching you visibly affected by your disturbing visions persuaded him to seriously consider your words.

“Tell me everything you saw”

And lucky he did.

Your father taught you a lot of things. How to swing your sword with gusto, to grit your teeth and dig in your heels when anticipating a blow, and to stand your ground no matter the odds. But he never told you how painful a racing heart can be or how loud the sound of blood rushing through your system is. Although, you supposed you can forgive him since he would never want to imagine you coming face-to-face to a deranged beast as your own blood blurred your vision.

During your expedition, you and your siblings encountered a group of disorientated beasts and while this was nothing new to you, these creatures were more unpredictable in comparison to your previous encounters with this species. It was as though they were fighting something internally and your squadron was unfortunately caught in the crossfire. The large beasts were demolishing things in their vicinity, indiscriminately knocking down anything and anyone without care.

Their unpredictable attacks ultimately led to one of them taking a vicious swing towards you and your brother, sending you both over a tall cliff with the large beast tumbling after from the force of its own attack.

You vividly recalled this scene, as it was foretold in your dreams. You were trapped and wounded with your brother unconscious after taking the brunt of the attack when shielding you. You willed yourself to keep a strong grip on your sword. If your dreams truly turn to reality, you and your brother will meet an untimely end here.

“Great heavens, give me strength to protect my brother” you prayed as you took one more long breath before letting out a feral roar.

You ran full speed towards the rampaging beast, putting all your strength into your swing to sever its leg, hoping to incapacitate its movement. Unfortunately, your depleted strength and eyesight left your attempt with a sizable wound but not enough to deter the giant.

Your blood has now ran cold as you realise the severity of your situation. Partially blinded and hurt, you were helpless in front of the deranged beast. Your tears mixed with the blood that cascaded over your eyes but you thought there was no use in wiping away the mess on your face.

In your fearful madness, you thought you might as well make your last moment memorable. You turned your head towards the sky, intending to stare at the beast with as much defiance, refusing to show fear towards any foe.

But something was odd

Since the encounter with the beasts, they were nothing but aggressive monsters, agitated and reckless in motion and action. Every moment with them was spent defending yourself from their endless attacks.

So why does it seem peaceful?

Even with a wound on its leg, the beast’s body was relaxed like it was in pure relief from whatever was ailing them. If you weren’t just glad you’re still alive, you might have been a little offended by the lack of interest the beast had on you.

With the rush of adrenaline slightly fading, you started taking notice of your senses a bit more, your injuries were being recognised, you felt the burn in your legs from the stress…and you felt a strange sensation on your wrist.

Looking down, you found the source to be the beast radar device made by Idia. You found it strange since it wasn’t nearly this hot even when you first came in contact with the beasts earlier but now, the device was evidently warm and you could sense an aura-like energy being emitted from it. You weren’t confident but you wondered if Idia added something more to your device. And it was affecting the beast before you.

Daring to test your theory, you slowly stepped back from the beast, angling your wrist further from the beast, observing the facial changes of the creature. True to your hypothesis (but unfortunately so), the beast’s body started shaking as though something unpleasant had returned to it. You wanted to celebrate your eureka moment but acknowledged this may not be the best time.

Then, like a gallant warrior, a figure appeared seemingly from the heavens and with a swift motion, speared the beast’s head from above. The creature let out a final painful roar before crashing down before your feet. You looked above to see your sister perched atop the beast, covered in sweat and blood.

Your sister jumped from her position and ran to you, encasing you in a tight embrace. You noticed how your sister was shaking with palpable fear.

“You’re alive. Thank the heavens you’re both alive” your usually level-headed sister cried into your sister as she wrapped her arms tighter, which you’re impressed she still could.

Although, you were grateful for the embrace as you felt your legs give out under you from exhaustion. Your sister worriedly called out your name as she supported your weight but incredibly, you just let out a laugh.

Against the odds and contrary to your haunting dreams, you were alive.

Was it strange you thought of Idia when you realised that?

#disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst imagines #villainess au #idia shroud #idia x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader

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choclodox · 1 year

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Lyle’s IQ score Head Canon

HEAR ME OUT: as much as Lyle def gives me himbo™️ energy, I also feel like he’s supposed to be…PRETTY SMART? he’s just also goofy. Like, I feel like he’s one of those friends that’s the smartest but also the dumbest person you’ve ever had at the same time.

Here is my evidence (dons glasses and grabs a laser pointer)

1. First and foremost, I’m pretty sure Quaritch wouldn’t let a dumbo be able to advance to the rank of Corporal, so Lyle needs to have SOME level of competency (but there’s still some room for his goofball nature lol).

Side note, studies show that people who are comical tend to have higher IQs since it ranks critical thinking to understand humor and make jokes. So Lyle is at least smart in that department.

2. In the first movie, we can see that Trudy trusts him enough to work on her Samson. We all know how much Trudy LOVED her Baby, so she must have had some serious trust in Lyle (someone who wasn’t an RDA mechanic) to let him even TOUCH her Rogue One’s equipment.

3. Also in the first movie, Lyle actually knows his stuff about combat theory and the AMP suits. When Quaritch has Lyle survey the aftermath of the Omatikaya’s retaliation for the destruction of the Tree of Voices, Lyle is able to describe in detail what the damages are. He’s able to tell that the arrows were fired from Ikrans based off the angles of the arrows in the damaged equipment and dead bodies, he can say for a fact that the AMP suits are not just damaged but what exactly is damaged (the Driver in this case).

4. Now in the 2nd movie, we actually get to see more of his smarts come into action. Lyle actually gets promoted from Corporal to Lieutenant and becomes second in command to Quaritch. The RDA wouldn’t let that happen if he was purely a trigger happy soldier; you needs some gray matter for that position.

5. Next, Quaritch looks to LYLE to pull the security feed off of OG Quaritch’s AMP suit. And Quaritch is a smart guy too, but it feels like Big Curly Q knows he’s out of his depth on this one and just hands it off to Lyle because he knows that he actually knows his stuff.

But ya, thanks for coming to my TedTalk :)

Also, a few other hcs I embrace

Lyle is that ONE gringo friend that knows FLUENT Spanish (and possibly knows other languages as well). And when I say Gringo, I don’t mean he’s white but is still Hispanic, no. There is a reason why JamCam named this man after Wainfleet, Ohio (the Ohio of Ohio). But nobody questions his ability to speak Spanish. You leave him alone in any Authentic Hispanic setting and come back in 20 minutes, they’re running to the liquor store because they already ran out of Tequila/pisco/etc. TEAM LATINO LOVES HIM

*side note, Jake probably knows some Spanish too since he did his tours in Venezuela. Who knows, maybe he taught some to Spider because he knows he’s team Latino. A

*and Quaritch probably knows some of Nigeria’s native languages (Hausa, Yoruba, Igbo, etc) since he did 3 whole tours there before coming to Pandora

Lyle likes 90s music (Britney Spears, Mariah Carey) but mainly SHAKIRA. I could see him just dancing alone to Hips Don’t Lie and someone walks in trying to get his attention, but he doesn’t notice and they have to clear their throat and he just screams when he finally notices them

He can dance Samba, Cumbia, Tango, Flamenco. ANYTHING in that family HE CAN DO IT FLAWLESSLY ASU PAPI

Might come from a family of mechanics and worked in a mom and pop mechanic shop (I embrace that one HC where he has a love for cars and just engineering in general). Maybe he wanted to be a more refined engineer but just couldn’t pass the tests since he was more of an intuitive thinker and tests favor more of the technical thinkers.

Likes DragonBall Z but will never admit it

#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatarfanart #avatar2 #miles quaritch #jake sully #trudy chacon #lyle wainfleet #recom lyle wainfleet #lyle wainfleet headcanons

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rainsfiction · 1 month

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Been thinking about my Saltburn boys and how Farleigh is so obviously a Slytherin but with Oliver and Felix it could almost be any combination? Walk with me…

Slytherin Oliver and Hufflepuff Felix: Felix is a total sweetheart, a cutie patootie, the Cedric Diggory of his generation! Everyone loves him. He’s just so easy to love. Oliver is… well. He’s without a doubt the most knowledgeable student when it comes to the Dark Arts, there’s rumours that he’s a parselmouth and he moves in complete expressionless silence… Needless to say, everyone is shocked at their sudden relationship. How the two of them became close is a total mystery, and witnessing their intimacy feels like watching a legend in the making… but Felix smiles brighter now, and everyone has seen the small smiles Oliver directs at Felix, so you won’t catch anyone complaining.

Ravenclaw Oliver and Gryffindor Felix: Popular, quidditch captain Felix who everyone admires and his bookworm, certified genius boyfriend Oliver. Oliver is the top student in all of his subjects, and that is a lot of subjects. He has no energy for stupidity, and enjoys studying alone… but for Felix he will always make an exception. Oliver will happily help Felix study, and the two of them can often be found in the library as Oliver re-explains concepts with all the patience in the world. Felix is a himbo at heart, but that’s okay! Who needs to think when you have the smartest boyfriend ever? Instead of stressing about school, he can focus on his future seeker career. Oliver will always be there to support him through exam season. Students are used to the spot of Ravenclaw colours in the Gryffindor stands. Oliver is always there with a book to read or an assignment to finish. “You’re my lucky charm Ollie! Who cares if you’re watching? I’m just happy with the comfort of knowing that whenever I look into the stands, you’ll always be there.”

Hufflepuff Oliver and Slytherin Felix: Felix comes from a powerful pureblood family and he’s always been part of the elite. He may seem relaxed and lax a lot of the time, but he’s smarter than he looks. He’s silently top of a lot of his classes, and he won the Triwizard Tournament effortlessly. He’s charismatic and charming and Oliver being his best friend makes no sense to any of his Slytherin circles. Oliver is a soft spoken, soft hearted, Hufflepuff who’s muggle-born heritage means that he should never have been on Felix is radar. Felix is the most sought out match in pureblood society, so everyone is shocked – and Farleigh is completely unimpressed – when it looks like Felix might genuinely be courting Oliver. (All the other students don’t get why all that pureblood nonsense even matters. Sure it’s sad to realise that Felix is off the market, but have you seen him with Oliver?! Oliver’s usually so reserved, but he absolutely glows when Felix is around. Felix can be pretty cocky sometimes, but with Oliver he mellows out and he can be so soft and sweet. Oliver is so timid that he barely notices, but everyone else can see that Felix looks absolutely smitten whenever Oliver’s around. It’s the purest love story, and all that exhausting blood purity stuff pales in comparison).

i could go on and on about every possible house dynamic but i’m not sure if anyone else cares so i’ll stop here for now and say to be (possibly) continued

#oliver quick #felix catton #saltburn harry potter au #hogwarts houses #farleigh start is a slytherin #saltburn #farleigh start #cattonquick #this theory exists in the multiverse of madness i've created for saltburn in my head

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