Facts about Kyle & Diabetes

ANYWAY, THE POST I MEANT TO MAKE:

I don’t think the specific effects of diabetes in daily life are all that widely known, so here are some notes/facts you might find interesting if you’re planning on writing a Kyle POV and canon/realism is important to you:

- Kyle’s specific type of diabetes is never mentioned in Cherokee Hair Tampons, but it’s highly likely that he has type 1. Type 1 diabetes is a (theorized) genetic condition that usually presents early in life, while type 2 is more lifestyle related. 

- Sheila mentions that Kyle has been diabetic all his life, implying it appeared at a fairly young age. Type 1 diabetes appears at two noticeable peaks - 4 to 7 and 10 to 14 years old - so it’s likely that Kyle’s diabetes developed between the ages of 4 to 7. Maybe even on the younger end of that?

- In type 1 diabetes, the pancreas produces little to no insulin. Because of this, EVERY PERSON with type 1 diabetes must take insulin on a daily basis.

- The bolus secretion is the insulin your body releases at mealtimes, and the basal secretion is the small amount of insulin that’s always in a non-diabetic’s blood. Basal secretion is the only necessary type of insulin, and some diabetics choose to only take basal insulin. Basal insulin constantly brings down high resting blood glucose levels, while bolus insulin is much more powerful but much more short lived. It’s what you’d take at mealtimes/in moments of extremely high blood sugar.

- Speaking of types of insulin, there are multiple types a diabetic might take:

Rapid-acting: takes effect within 15 minutes and is typically taken at mealtime. Mimics the bolus secretion.

Regular/short-acting: takes effect between 30 minutes to an hour. Is also taken at mealtime, but lasts longer than rapid-acting insulin. Also mimics the bolus secretion.

Intermediate-acting: lasts for 10-16 hours and is typically taken twice a day. Imitates the basal secretion.

Long-acting: lasts for 20-24 hours and is typically taken once a day, but some might take it twice a day for better control of their blood sugar. Mimics the basal secretion.

Pre-mixed insulin: combines two other types of insulin.

Basal-bolus insulin therapy: A treatment in which the diabetic takes a combination of basal and bolus insulins throughout the day. Allows for diabetics to not have to eat meals at specific times of day.

- Dosages for insulin are specific from person to person, and are often finicky and require frequent adjustments.

- Insulin CANNOT be taken as a pill. Type 1 diabetics can only take insulin through daily injections or through an insulin pump.

- There are four main areas a diabetic will inject insulin: the abdomen, the back of the arm, the thighs, and the hips/butt. Injections into the abdomen will absorb the fastest, followed by the arms, thighs, and hips.

- Insulin is designed to be injected into the subcutaneous tissue layer; ie, the layer directly under the skin. Injecting it into muscle will cause it to absorb significantly slower.

- Constantly using the same injection site will cause the body to develop a resistance/scar tissue, and insulin will be absorbed slower. It’s important to rotate insulin injection sites every so often.

- Heat and exercise also both effect insulin absorption; heat opens up the blood vessels and allows for insulin to be absorbed faster, and leg exercise increases the rate of absorption in the legs (but slows it slightly in the abdomen!). However, physical activity only increases insulin absorption in rapid-acting and regular/short-acting insulins.

- 20-40% of type 1 diabetics choose to use an insulin pump instead of using injections. Insulin pumps and injections are equally effective, but insulin pumps come with the risk of the pump failing to perform. People with insulin pumps still need to check their blood sugar, and pumps vs injections really just come down to a matter of choice. It is entirely feasible for Kyle to go with either.

- Some diabetics check their blood sugar using finger sticks, and others check it using a continuous glucose monitoring (CGM) system. CGM systems check glucose levels every ~10 minutes, and the glucose sensor must be moved to a different area every 1-2 weeks. People using CGM systems still need occasional finger pricks for reliability.

- Young adults with type 1 diabetes are more prone to developing excess body weight than non-diabetic young adults.

- Poor muscle health is a complication of diabetes, even in very active people. Overactivity in people with diabetes may reduce metabolism and accelerate the rate of developing disability. Exercise is important to help reduce excess weight gain, but diabetics shouldn’t exercise beyond the recommended amount.

- A kidney transplant alone (like the one Kyle got in Cherokee Hair Tampons) is not a cure for diabetes; a pancreas transplant is the only way to fully cure it. However, pancreas transplants are typically reserved for people with very significant complications. 

And huge thanks to @girl-kendallroy for adding the following information!!

- 100-150 is typically the goal range for blood sugar, below 100 is low, 150-200 is moderate, and 200-250 is high. Correction insulin/water is given when blood sugar is considered high, which is also when high blood sugar symptoms start to show.

- Type 1 diabetics are prone to low blood sugar seizures, as well as other diseases and autoimmune disorders. As a result, they undergo routine testing for thyroid issues, celiac disease, and other organ functions (such as kidney, liver, and eye).

IN CONCLUSION: Not all of this is relevant on a day to day basis, but a lot of it is, and if you plan on writing a Kyle POV that encompasses multiple scenes/lasts for a long period of time, the above information may be worth considering if realism in fic is up your alley! 

SOURCES:

https://diabetes.org/healthy-living/medication-treatments/insulin-other-injectables/insulin-pumps-relief-and-choice

https://www.uptodate.com/contents/blood-glucose-monitoring-in-diabetes-beyond-the-basics

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180418092042.htm

https://bmcendocrdisord.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12902-022-01062-y

https://www.endocrineweb.com/conditions/type-1-diabetes/type-1-diabetes-insulin

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/316616#what-is-basal-bolus-insulin-therapy

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/619237/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7609903/#:~:text=Physical%20exercise%20increases%20the%20rate,in%20older%20long%2Dacting%20insulins.

https://www.diabetesselfmanagement.com/blog/affects-insulin-absorption/

Hello there, am sorry for stepping in your inbox without your permission. Am having a request concerning my family. My family is still living in the Gaza Strip, and like so many other families, their lives are hell right now. My family includes my father and mother, my sisters Nisreen and Yasmine and my brother Anwar. My dad is 77 years old and my mother, who I call the soul of my soul and the balm of my life, is 75 years old and confined to a wheelchair because of a war injury when she was young. My brother Anwar and my sister Yasmine suffer from diabetes mellitus type 1… They need insulin urgently and regularly. Any lack of insulin puts their lives in danger, as what happened with my older sister Ibtisam, who lost her life 10 years ago due to a lack of insulin.” Kindly donate any amount and reblog.

Just give it up already man. Don't you feel tired of trying to profit off of the back of a genocide? Or any of the other scams you've made countless blogs for?

Over 30,000 people have died in Gaza, nearly half of them children. Just a few days ago Israel started bombing the last safe city that they told everyone to evacuate to, so the number is likely even higher now. The bodies of the dead aren't even buried yet and people are still dying every moment, yet your only concern is trying to steal money from people who would otherwise be using it to help the remaining families escape from death. Do you truly care so little about your fellow humans?

Can you sleep well at night knowing that the piles of money you've stolen over the months (years?) could have been the difference between life and death for the people you impersonated? Can you live with yourself knowing that your actions have very likely led to the deaths of other human beings? Will you continue your scams even knowing that your actions have a body count? Do you have the decency to feel guilt for what you've done? Can anyone—whether a higher power or the people you harmed—ever forgive you in a way that matters?

cw detailed eating and food talk, but i need advice from people who are good at eating meals, which sounds bonkers but bear with me

i wanna preface this by saying i don't have a bad relationship with food itself, i didn't know what a calorie was until i was like 24, i don't diet, and i'm not a picky eater. i enjoy food and have a neutral-positive relationship with food, but i am not a consistent eater and it's really difficult for me to get into the habit of eating meals which is not good for my energy or my stomach !!

i have symptoms of hypoglycemia but not diabetes, and i also do not experience normal hunger signals. so instead of 'feeling hungry' in a normal sense, i can get extra tired or have migraine symptoms or immediate and severe blood sugar drops, but my stomach doesn't 'grumble' - which has happened my whole life, a lot of times i don't know i'm hungry until my blood sugar is tanking. which was super hard as a child because i would just like... start screaming and crying and my mom would buy me orange juice.

so it's not ideal for consistent meal times because a lot of time, by the time i realize i'm hungry, i'm literally on the edge of a blood sugar crash and don't have time to cook.

in addition to that, i'm also not good at cooking because it's a ton of energy one way or the other. prepping is energy, cooking is energy, cleaning up is energy...

there are things i enjoy cooking, but since i don't feel hunger in a regular way, it's hard to know how much time to give myself to cook before i eat. so if cook+prep takes an hour or two, will i be hungry when its ready? or on the flip side, will my blood sugar crash as i'm making it and i'll need to eat something else immediately?

i realize this could be solved by prepping and storing meals, but i also do not grocery shop myself. other members of the household are the ones to grocery shop and tend to buy for family meals that are made on certain days, and i have a lot of discomfort around both asking for ingredients for meals that are intended only for myself and also shopping at groceries stores myself because that's one of the top 5 things that take a ton of energy out of me. it's like work, grocery stores, hanging out with friends/family outside of the house, cooking, cleaning floors... you get it.

so that's a hang up, but i also just need to build better habits because i know once i'm on a consistent eating schedule that will benefit my stomach, my energy levels, and i also have a theory that if i eat more consistently, my body will start regulating and sending me accurate hunger signals lmao

my family does dinner extremely regularly so that's my consistent meal of the day, so it's really daytime meals that i struggle with the most. but breakfast is ALSO a hang up for me, because it's hard for me to wake up and want food? i'm not sure that's normal or will change, but it's been that way my whole life and it makes early morning commitments difficult because i always know i need to eat before i leave the house but i don't want to.

anyway all that to say, my ask to anyone who's reading this, do you have any tricks and tips for building better eating habits?

the best thing for me personally would be to start small, like integrating one food habit in during the day and making it a habit. i've been thinking about getting into protein shakes to like, supplement my day until i can get into better meal habits, but i'd just love to hear some ideas from anyone who might have suggestions or things that worked for them, etc etc~

1. I Wish It Wasn’t About The Numbers  

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS MY PERSONAL RECOLLECTION AND I MAKE NO CLAIM TO EXPERTISE IN MEDICINE, RECOMMENDATIONS, OR PRETENSE TO WHY PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO. THIS IS JUST MY MEMORY OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, WHAT I’M DOING TO GET HEALTHY.

For many who deal with immune disorders, getting treatment is a horror story of being neglected, dismissed, rejected, and attacked. You’re added to the list of pain sufferers and the chronically ill. You aren’t a person, you’re an account number for a hospital. A statistic for the government. A profit line for big Pharma. Definitely not real. Sometimes not even to members of your family or friends who knew you before your body turned on you.

I'm one of those people.

A standard, sarcastic, aging Gen-X, ever-so-slightly malcontent. For those of you who love the generation comparisons, yes, I was a latchkey kid. I had almost no adult supervision in my tiny mountain town. I swam all summer, read all winter and every night, and was an absolute tomboy.

Which is making what I write normally, romance, absolutely hysterical.

On the surface, I was a very healthy child. During high school, I was what we would call overly scheduled. I did that to myself. In addition to my academic workload and extras, such as choir, I was athletic and did sports. The activities were strenuous, my pain tolerance was incredibly high, and I continued that into my early twenties. Life looked good.

Until what should have been a hiccup. A nothing.

The immunocompromised will recognize what I'm talking about because it’s happened to you. Most people go through their lives never worrying about small medical issues. A minor setback and they heal, but for me, this bump triggered a snowball that became an avalanche that has ruined my health. And changed the course of my life.

Currently, scientists claim about eighty autoimmune disorders exist. For those who don't know, your immune system’s network of cells is supposed to work together to defend against foreign viruses, bacteria, and infection. It's supposed to be smart. To be able to identify what's foreign and what isn't. However, when things go wrong, it can't do that.

The horror of autoimmune dysfunction.

When your immune system gets dumb, it attacks your body. And dumb bodies don't obey rules. It’s just destructive. We give the outcomes different names you may have heard:

Type 1 diabetes

Multiple sclerosis

Lupus

Rheumatoid arthritis

Some are rare and difficult to diagnose, but doctors regularly don’t recognize common ones. Sufferers can go years, even decades, before getting their symptoms diagnosed, and then treatments are often either unavailable or too expensive. That doesn't begin to address medical bias. Women are the ones most frequently affected by autoimmune disorders by a significant percentage, and experience provider bias on a regular basis.

When your body is the enemy, you ask why. Why is this happening? My experience has been that the doctors will do one of a few things: blame you, pretend it doesn’t exist and that you’re crazy, or they throw up their hands and ignore it.

I’m not alone. Many I’ve talked to have similar experiences.

It's your fault.

You’re fine.

We don't know. Here, take this drug.

I can't tell you how painful it is to be told any of these messages. Because none of these are true.

Research shows that genetics and environmental factors, along with the food industrial complex, bear a far bigger part in the current state of health in this country than anyone wants to admit.

The refusal to accept this may be the reason the generic autoimmune problem is on the rise in the United States. And I am one of those people.

A light at the end of the tunnel.

I began to get sick at twenty-six. I am forty-eight now. My slow slide into illness took me to a moment in my late 30s when I thought for a second that I would not make it.

It was scary. The girl who jumped off bridges, went to swing night, was coughing so hard she broke her ribs. She could barely walk. Couldn't work.

I wasn't me.

I’m now in a new program at the Cleveland Clinic. I feel better than I have in over ten years. While those years I lost may be gone, I plan to make the next few the best I've had. I'll share what they're recommending that's helping. Because those of us left behind by normal medicine need to stick together.

Our bodies may be dumb, but we aren't. And we aren't alone.

My journey is available on Kindle Vella.

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0BXL7GN4S 

#dumbbodiesbrilliantminds

Intermittent Fasting and Keto: Should You Combine the Two?

Fitness tips

Intermittent fasting and the keto diet are two eating strategies that have gained a lot of popularity over the past few years and the benefits of the two styles overlap. Weight loss, consistent energy, better mood, better blood sugar control, and improved insulin resistance to name a few but should you combine the two, combining them leads to better and quicker results.

Fitness tips

Let’s answer those questions in today’s article. Hey, guys welcome to shape insider, if you’re new here my name is Swapan Patra I’m a certified health and nutrition coach. Before we get into it, let me know in the comment below whether you’ve tried the keto diet, intermittent fasting one or the other, or both.

I want to hear about your experience in the comments down below I’m curious if you had better results with one or the other or combined the two. The main reason that keto and intermittent fasting have such overlap with their benefits is that both strategies get you into ketosis.

What is Ketosis?

ketosis is a metabolic state where you are burning mainly fat for energy, both dietary and body fat. The body goes into ketosis and starts using fat for energy when carbohydrates are restricted.

Carbohydrates provide us with a different type of energy glucose, glucose is a quick but short-lived energy source because our bodies cannot store much of it. However, when it comes to Fat our bodies can store upwards of a hundred thousand calories worth of energy of fat as body fat.

And if you’re overweight this amount is much much more. when you were eating a keto diet you are restricting carbohydrates and you’re eating mainly fat and protein. So your body switches to mainly burning fat and you go into ketosis.

Intermittent fasting

But another way to get into ketosis is through fasting. Now when I say fast, I mean not eating anything for a period of time technically we’re all fasting when we’re sleeping but some people fast longer and when you’re fasting obviously, you’re not eating anything so you’re not eating any carbohydrates and you go into ketosis which is where most of the benefits start from.

So let’s talk a little bit more about what fasting is and why it can be a nice addition to the ketogenic diet. Anytime you are not eating throughout the day is known as fasting. From the time you take your last bite of food in the evening to the time you take your first bite the following day is known as your fasting window.

Now when you’re in ketosis a lot of people find it’s a lot easier to go in between meals without feeling hungry and without experiencing an energy crash and this goes back to the fact that you have a lot of stored energy as fat on your body.

So when you’re burning fat you can go hours at a time without needing to eat and this is why a lot of people who are eating a keto diet also practice Intermittent fasting. Intermittent fasting which is sometimes shortened to it just means that you have a fasting schedule.

A popular variation is 16:8 where you fast for 16 hours a day and then eat all of your calories within an eight-hour window. If you have your last bit of food at 7 pm one day the next day you’ll have your first bite of food at 11 am.

Now one of the biggest benefits of the keto diet is that it regulates blood sugar and insulin and this is especially beneficial for anyone with insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes who is trying to reverse it.

But keeping blood sugar and Insulin stable has other benefits as well. It prevents huge crashes and energy throughout the day. You can go several hours between meals you’re more efficient at burning fat and weight loss are easier.

It helps keep your hormones balanced, can improve your sleep, and also reduces your disease risk. Fasting has the same effect another benefit that you get from fasting that you can also get from the keto diet is an increase in autophagy.

Autophagy is when damaged cells in our body are broken down and used to create new healthy cells the best way to really boost autophagy is through extended fasting. Usually autophagy Peaks around 24 to 72 hours but eating a low-carb ketogenic diet also triggers it and this is one of the reasons why people eat a keto diet its inflammation goes down.

So because the benefits of intermittent fasting and keto are so similar, keto is often said to mimic fasting. I do not think it’s necessary to stick to a strict intermittent fasting schedule if you’re already eating keto you don’t have to do this in order to get results but I do find that fasting tends to fall into place naturally.

Simply because you’re less hungry and you can go longer without eating, so instead of sticking to a strict 16 8 schedule for most people I recommend just letting fasting come naturally. for example, if you wake up in the morning and you’re not hungry you don’t have to force yourself to have breakfast wait until you’re hungry it extends your fasting window, and then eat.

Now before we wrap up there’s one final topic that I want to touch on and that is what breaks a fast this is really important to know because you don’t want to be consuming anything within your fasting window that could potentially take away from the benefits.

Now to break a fast means that your fasting window has ended, and you’ve consumed something that has taken away from the benefits of fasting. basically, anything that causes your blood sugar or insulin to rise will break a fast.

So of course water does not break a fast during your fasting window you should be drinking water and you should also be supplementing electrolytes. electrolytes on their own don’t break a fast but watch out some brands have added sugar has added other artificial ingredients and those will break a fast.

A good product I like is soda��s everyday hydration salts they have no added sugar and they also have a good amount of electrolytes, other drinks that don’t break a fast are black coffee and unsweetened tea so what does break a fast

Technically any food you consume or any sweetened drinks with calories, now there’s some debate over whether diet soda breaks a fast in some studies when an individual who is fasting consumed diet soda their insulin did not raise but when they drank the diet soda with a meal it caused a rise more significant than drinking the soda alone.

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Help For Dry Cracked Hands

As I'm located in Los Angeles, I attempt to keep on the top of the how to go about the bullying and peer abuse symptom in this talk about. Recently, a bill entitled AB86 introduced by Assemblyman Ted Lieu of Torrance would finally crack down over the cyber bullying that lots of our teenagers face this morning. Finally, we are cracking upon this endless and continuously growing problem. California's Education Code already has something as books about harassment at college. Taking this next step is the most beneficial news I've heard in weeks. I made a great living the actual cracking locking mechanisms. I got lucky enough to do something I love and the particular is surprising. I earn more than nearly my friends, some are hi-tech geeks with 2nd degree in computer proof. Dried and cracked feet is simply an issue where the calluses on the sole of the foot so dry that they've cracked. pdf watermark remover can grow deeper and into fissures and result in many of pain and bacterial. While for everyone, this is an issue, diabetics are affected additional problems from these infections. Eventually, the power to walk become taken away as by way of the intense pain when weight is put onto your legs and heels. Now I know what you're thinking, you've seen concrete does not have any cracks. An area. So how can I say 'all concrete cracks'? Concrete is made cement, rock and sand, and possess add water it starts a chemical reaction that produces a hard material, which, when worked on, makes walkways, patios and drives. However, as the concrete hardens, it shrinks this particular shrinkage is accountable for almost all the cracks find in everyday concrete. Utilize to deliver. Ground preparation, reinforcing and control joints. This is the part I ran across hard since i have had so many good and funny experiences with my son. Work out plans hard select the best ones that meet position criteria. Visitors you want to share stories or experiences that you might have shared your son that show the father son bond. I am sure anyone could have many even. But before you weigh up which ones on this try to stay to this criteria. These people be funny or meaningful stories and experiences. Funny tends to work best however if they are short stories you can try getting back in a more emotional story too. Are usually to avoid certain stories that relate to your sons ex wives or sexual performance. This may be very appealing but you choose to do not for you to embarrass you son. In fact it's best not to embarrass anyone, but if you do feel the need to try to to so then you can certainly can always embarrass very own. diskdigger 1 53 97 3169 crack with license key 2022 latest in the sub-floor should also be larger towards the drain direction. About a 6" round or square hole (about the dimensions a coffee can) is suggested. This larger opening allows room for the drain assembly that extends below the bottom of the cookware. Most drain pipes are 2" Utilized. The PVC pipe allows for some flexing included in the 6" opening in the sub-floor. This flexing is desired and makes the pan installation easier. The PVC pipe should extend above the finished sub-floor by about 1/2" to about 3" to 4". And never communicate your password in any documentation or emails. Don't display them on your or loan them to friends or associates. Random generators is a good idea but aren't bullet substantiation. Change your passwords on a regular basis just in case. Always have tipard video converter crack or Administrator password to use to get in and change user's passwords when compulsory. Simple wasn't it? That's all will be to that will. Now you should not have to do a belt breaking and receiving stranded as a result. Be sure to produce positive changes to belts about every 30k miles. Its not only a solid rule as well as the belts ought to checked at regular intervals to be secure.

So, with Turning Red bringing diabetes rep to the big screen, I’m curious about the different ways fans can interpret the representation we currently have.

Forthcoming:

projecting your own experience of t1d onto canonically diabetic characters VS

sticking strictly to what we get in canon regardless of realism VS

headcanoning non-diabetic characters as diabetic in the same world as a pre-existing diabetic character

Disclaimer: in this rambling post, I am talking about works with canonically diabetic characters only.

Option 1: Projection onto Canon

(Almost) everybody loves a good projection character. Every person with t1d has different experiences from diagnosis to their usual symptoms to their emotions about it, just like every person has a slightly different experience with food, exercise, sports, etc.

There’s only so much you can get across in any type of canon material, even if the t1d character has their own POV. Using the diabetic character as a blank slate to overwrite your own experience is personally rewarding and can spread awareness more thoroughly.

This is a particularly positive way to participate in fandom because, no matter how much we wish otherwise, diabetes rep is rare. And we all know that good diabetes rep is even rarer.

By taking advantage of the canonically diabetic characters out there and overlaying real-life experiences onto them via fanfic or headcanons, not only are we supporting diabetic representation, we also have the opportunity to “fix” it.

GIF by whumpty-dumpty

Obviously fandoms, no matter the size, do not have the ability to rewrite source material and actually fix bad or vague rep. Creating our own fic from it, however, can help spread awareness to others in the fandom who don’t necessarily know better—and that’s important.

Honestly the only downside to this is if you don’t like canon, be it plot, world, or the characters themselves.

Option 2: Canon Purist

If you don’t like AUs, the options are limited to canon compliant fics, original fiction, and possibly diabetic OCs in otherwise compliant fics.

As I said above, quality t1 diabetes rep is sadly lacking, and I’m not aware of any diabetes-centric original fiction that’s actually written by a diabetic. The closest I’ve seen is a non-diabetic relative writing for a diabetic family member or a diabetic being part of a larger creative team.

While I’m a firm believer that anyone can write whatever they like, t1d is an incredibly complicated illness and most people don’t even know where to start.

Now, knowing what you’re writing about does not mean you know how to write it well. Alternatively, very good writers don’t necessarily need to know everything about a subject to write it convincingly. Most of the time good representation takes a mix of the two.

I forgot where I was going with this.

I’ll end this point by saying I can see a lot of potential for canon-compliant fics of inaccurate representation via missing scene fics or alternate POVs. Give us that little bit extra, expand on something that was left open, name the correct medicine instead of having the characters inject a mystery miracle.

Of course, there are also the stories out there that show us a decent portrayal to start with.

Option 3: Alternate Universe - Additional Representation

This one intrigues me.

This whole post was inspired by seeing someone headcanon a Turning Red character as diabetic—a canonically non-diabetic character in a film that openly showed two characters with infusion sets.

Personally, I think that’s awesome. I love connecting to a character so much that you imagine them having shared experiences with you. I love using more characters than we were given to further explore the diversified experiences people with t1d have. I just love it.

It tickled me, though.

Why do this? Shouldn’t we be content with diabetic characters who have time, research, and effort put into them?

Think about how often diabetic characters are the main character or get to show their point of view. It does happen, but it’s more commonly a side or minor character with just enough screen time to show diabetics exist in canon.

Or maybe I just don’t like the diabetic character.

The star of DC’s YA graphic novel Twin Branches: Swamp Thing by Maggie Stiefvater, Alec, is type 1 diabetic. He’s ok for me, but he’s weird and asocial and generally creepy; I like him as a character but like his non-diabetic twin better.

In the YA contemporary novel Lucky Few by Kathryn Ormsbee, I can’t stand how the MC handles her diabetes. Mostly, she doesn’t. I consider the story to have bad rep, as t1d isn’t even mentioned until over 100 pages in and the MC finishes the book in the hospital (even the anguish and burnout of chronic illness is poorly portrayed, in my opinion. You’re better off reading tfios).

Compare these two to the (slightly) infamous Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which has more medical inaccuracies than it does monsters. However, I adore the movie and have seen it maybe a dozen times.

There’s no accounting for taste, apparently.

In the end, it’s all fictional. It’s fanfic. It’s fun. Enjoy what you want, headcanon what you want, and let’s work on getting accurate rep out there.

Stories mentioned or GIFd in the post by order of mention: Pixar’s Turning Red, the Baby-Sitters Club tv show, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, DC’s Swamp Thing: Twin Branches by Maggie Stiefvater, and Lucky Few by Kathryn Ormsbee.

Resolution Through Dialogue (and fists if needed)

Story with Diabetic OC

Chapter II - 2,777 words

Chapter II

Theo was an agent for the FBI’s Criminal, Cyber, Response and Services Branch. She had been with her department for a decade after her recruitment after finishing her PhD in Microbiology at UC Berkeley where she and Chris met. She worked as an agent within the Critical Incident Response Group where she spent most of her days working under Unit Chief Lucas Secman and with a team of five other close agents, Daniel Penzias, Annalise Olivier, Jason Moran and Hugo Stoneward as a member of the Crisis Negotiation Unit. The team was closer than most due to the graphic, intense and often strange nature of their work, coupled with their strange hours and long days.

Today Theo walked into the office to everyone crowded around Jason’s desk, “What’s going on?” She asked as she approached the crowd. “Jason is showing everyone his new kitten” Daniel told her. Her coworkers turned to face her and parted to show her, the usually stone faced Agent Moran cradling a tiny black and white kitten, smiling down at it. “You got a cat?” She asked shocked, Moran had never seen like the pet type

“I found him while I was out running over the weekend, he was starving and stuck down a drain, I couldn’t leave him. Meet Derek”

Theo cooed at the kitten, scratching him behind the ears. Moran having rescued the cat made sense, the man had a paternal streak a mile wide, it was part of the reason he was such a good agent especially in cases involving children.

The scene was interrupted when Secman’s door swung open and the call of “conference room” alerted the agents to a new case. The group filed out of the bullpen and into the team’s designated conference room. Secman took his seat at the head of the table and handed files to each agent. Theo flipped hers open skimmed the details. Her heart began to sink. They were needed for a hostage negotiation at a middle school in Utah. There were at least three armed gunmen and an additional two armed students, as well as two suspected explosive devices. There was no time for discussion on the ground as Secman told Hugo to stay behind and liaise from Washington, and the rest of the team to grab their go-bags from their desks and meet in the Bureau jet in twenty. Theo and Daniel raced to their desks, each pulling a duffel bag from their places under their desks and giving each other a look. After their many years working together they had this routine down pat. He threw Theo his water bottle and she jogged to fill both of them up while he raided the kitchen for snacks. He grabbed a couple of mini bags of chips along with a pack of juice boxes for Theo and some granola bars for himself. They met back at their desks and ran through their mental checklists. Theo swore to herself under her breath and went back to the kitchen, grabbing three insulin vials out of the fridge followed by three infusion sets and a handful of test strips and slipping them in a refrigerated bag in her bag. Checking their watches the two grabbed their bags and joined Annalise in a Suburban as they headed to the airport, the rest of the team not far behind.

On board the jet the situation was tense. Theo had sent Chris a text right before they took off, briefing him on what she could and letting him know that she may not be home for a few days. The couple was relatively used to this situation and Chris had just wished her luck and told her to stay safe and that he hoped she’d be able to call that night. Hugo had gotten some more information out of the South Jordan Police Department. The school had approximately 1,400 students and of those, an estimated 1,200 were on campus. Most were supposedly congregated in the gym but smaller class-sized groups were spread throughout the main building. The local field office and bomb disposal squad were to meet them on the scene once the CNU had arrived. The small police department had been completely overwhelmed by the scale of the crisis and with hundreds of panicked parents, the team’s skills were desperately needed. Secman was in Unit Chief mode, designating roles for each team member so that they could hit the ground running. Hugo was running intel from his office in Washington and currently video chatting with the team on board. Jason was to handle the police department and bomb squad, getting information and forming a strategy. Daniel was going to liaise with the field office, Annalise needed to see what she could get from the parents who’s children were in contact with them as well as anyone else with potential information from inside the school. Finally, Secman and Theo were to set up a negotiation strategy with the offenders inside.

“We’re unlikely to get much sleep for the next 48 hours or so, so try to use the next three hours on here to nap” Secman informed the team signifying that the briefing was over. Theo and Daniel moved away from the table to one of the sofa-like set ups that lined the jet. All of the agents on the teams had become pros at sleeping when and were they could and within 15 minutes the jet was silent as most of the team slept. Theo was dozing when a sudden aggressive beeping jolted her to alert. As she began to move the weakness that signified a hypoglycaemic event made itself apparent along with the slight shake in her hands. From across the aisle Secman, not looking up from the mess of papers in front of him, tossed her a mini packet of skittles. She checked the number on her pump, 60mg/dl and tore open the packet pouring most of the skittles into her mouth. She grabbed her bottle of water out of her bag and began to sip on it. She sat there spaced out, eating skittles for about 15 minutes until Secman let her know that she was above 70 and handed her a granola bar. She shared the data from her CGM with her whole team in case something went dramatically wrong while working a case. It gave everyone more peace of mind that she had support if she needed it. Once her brain and body were finally back online she tried to catch some more sleep for the next few hours so that she was at her best once they landed.

The jet touched down in Salt Lake City at around lunch time and the team climbed straight into the provided cars for the 20 minute drive to South Jordan. Theo found herself headed to the school along with Jason, Annalise and Secman while another car took Daniel to the local field office. As soon as the car was put in park at the scene, agents poured out of the car, pulling their FBI bullet-proof vests over their heads. Annalise was escorted by the local PD to a group of parents sheltering in a taped-off area to begin assessing the situation, Jason was taken over to the current mission control and was soon commanding the attention of the various police officers and the kitted-up bomb squad. Secman strode off in the direction of a singular police car and FBI vehicle and Theo followed behind him.

“Unit Chief Lucas Secman of the CNU” he said shaking the hands of the local Chief of Police and a few local agents. “SSA Penzias” Theo introduced herself, doing the same. “We’re sorry that this has happened but we’re here to help”

“What’s the plan for negotiations?” Secman asked, skipping any further pleasantries and getting straight to the point “According to school records we have twelve hundred students from grades seven through nine. We have been approached by an offender who introduced himself as Allen but we have yet to extend any further contact beyond acknowledging them and getting a welfare guarantee”, the chief gave them the rundown. The agents nodded, “what about the students not in the gym? Do we have anything on them?” Theo asked.

“We have information from class records that suggests that most of the science classes have been locked in the laboratories”

“Ages?” Secman asked shortly, clearly wanting to get on with it.

“Mostly eighth and ninth graders” the chief responded. Secman turned to Theo,

“Get Stoneward on the line and get him to start trying to get some sort of satellite map of classes, if he can get a current thermal image even better” he turned to the chief, “we’re going to need a phone to contact the attackers inside as well as a line to the media, Agent Penzias will handle them”. While her boss continued to issue orders and get set up for negotiations, Theo pulled out her laptop and contacted Hugo. “Theo, what’s needed?” He asked, she could see his fingers racing across his keyboard as the monitors behind him showed current media coverage as well as satellite images and the police scanners for the county. “Lucas wants current satellite imagery, preferably thermal, we still don’t know where all of the students are located”

“On it” he responded, “I’ll set up a live capture and send it to your laptop”

“Thanks” she told him, walking back over to the group, “we’ll have a thermal and satellite livestream within a few minutes” she told Secman. He nodded in her direction, turning back to the local, Special Agent in Charge, “could you please contact the Hostage Rescue Team, I’m hoping we can do this through negotiation but I don’t want to risk the lives of these children if things go south”. The agent gave a sharp nod and walked away to do just that. The rest of the congregated officers and agents took that as their dismissal and most headed in different directions across the school’s parking lot leaving Theo, Secman and a few local agents huddled around Theo’s laptop, viewing Hugo’s livestreams and discussing potential tactics with the rest of the unit once Daniel arrived a few moments later. The unit decided to establish contact inside the school without waiting for Hostage Rescue but have them en route in the case of things going wrong. The team moved into action.

With Hugo’s voice and support filtering through their earpieces the CNU gathered around a squad car. Secman picked up the megaphone “I am Unit Chief Lucas Secman with the FBI’s Crisis Negotiation Unit and would like to talk to you. We will establish contact through the school’s phones”. With that he set down the megaphone and turned to Jason who handed him a phone with the school’s internal number already dialled. The dial tone sounded once, twice, three times before connecting, “Agent Secman I assume, my name is Samuel”, Secman shot a glance to the laptop where Hugo nodded to show that he was receiving the audio from the conversation, “good afternoon Samuel”, Hugo nodded again to show he had both ends of the call recorded. It wouldn’t have been obvious to those who didn’t know him, but the team watched as Hugo’s reassurance caused their supervisor to visibly relax. “How are the students?” Secman asked, a little more confidence in his stance. He was in command of the situation.

“The students are fine, agent. However, my associates and I are not. We feel like we’ve been ignored” the smug voice came down the line. Theo remained stone faced but internally grimaced at the man’s tone.

“How so?” Secman asked

“Well you see my friends and I have some demands that we’ve raised but no one has listened until now. We’ve been forced into drastic measures but it’s nobody’s fault but your own agent”

Theo shot a glance to her fellow agents and Moran gave her a nod. That was her signal. She snatched her laptop off the hood of the cruiser and walked swiftly to one of the Suburbans. This was an established routine and she heard the audio in her earpiece switch from Hugo’s office to Secman’s phone conversation as Hugo realised what was going on. Once in the car she routed Hugo’s voice chat through the laptop as he isolated their call from the other’s earpieces. They didn’t need the distraction. “Alright Stoneward let’s do this” she told Hugo as she opened another window on the laptop. “Let’s go through repeated police reports in the last three years in the South Jordan area”

“Once we’ve got those we can cross-check with the name Samuel to see what we’ve got”. Theo hummed as she texted Penzias the update and what they were doing. She pulled up the local PD’s records only to sigh when she realised what a mess they were. She heard an answering groan from the speakers as Hugo saw the same thing. “Alright, you take 2016, I’ll take 2017” she said, “focus on causes that people focus around, environmental issues, vandalism, gentrification things like that”. However, as the words came out her mouth she realised something. “Actually, you take the police complaints, I’m going to look into complaints made to the city”.

Samuel seemed to have gotten defensive and so Secman had switched tactics to appealing to the safety of the children. Theo pulled up the city’s records over the last five years, she searched for complaints made to council members, letters to the mayor and residential complaints. She cross-checked for repeated complaints and anything that involved the name Samuel. That brought back hundreds of names and motivations. She sighed at the sheer size of the task she seemed to be facing, but sat up and thought through how to reduce the results down to likely pools. She filtered by age of the complainant, setting the range to white men in their thirties to fifties. That dramatically reduced the number, it looked like many of the grievances were the local elderly, not that Theo found that surprising. Her phone beeped, Secman needed her back out in the negotiation so she quickly sent her reduced list to Stoneward with a note of where she was at and jogged back across the lot to the rest of her team.

Annalise grabbed her by the elbow, “so Secman has managed to get welfare checks and a name list of students in the school but he can’t make head or tail of why” she informed Theo, “he wants you to talk to him”. A shiver crawled up Theo’s spine at the thought of communicating with the creep who was placing so many children at risk but this was the job. She nodded at Annalise, “thanks for the rundown” she said and the two agents walked over. Secman raised an eyebrow at her, checking she knew what was going on. Theo just gestured for the phone and he handed it to her. “Samuel yes? This is Supervisory Special Agent Theo Wilson with the CNU, how are you today?”

“Skip the pleasantries agent, what are you after?” the man asked shortly, Theo winced internally but showed nothing. “I would like to know why you’re keeping the students hostage” she told him honestly, running through possible ways this conversation could go in the back of her mind. “I already told Lucas there, we’ve been forced into this”

“Forced? How so? I don’t assume anyone is holding you at gunpoint are they Sammy?” Theo asked. She saw Hugo’s head snap in her direction at the tone she was taking but Daniel held a hand up to the screen quieting him. There was a pause on the other end of the line, brief but enough to show the team that he’d been caught off guard by Theo’s approach. “You’re well aware then that we are the armed ones agent” the retort came.

“Of course you are, you couldn’t pull this off by yourself could you? No. You chose children because they’re easy to overpower. You have fellow conspirators because you could never do this alone” Theo further antagonised. “So now that we’ve established that you’re not the big intimidating man you think you are, how about we discuss this like adults instead of throwing, what appears to be, a large scale temper tantrum? Now. Would you like to discuss this with me? Or with Secman?” The pause on the other end was much longer this time. The silence seemed to last minutes. “You have five minutes to decide” she said and hung up.

Taglist

@diabets @diabadass-vs-the-world

How do i say no to people

You know that analogy about people with adhd having spoons for energy management or whatever? My spoons are on backorder from like 2 months ago and more got on that list now

The problem is that all of the things I'm being asked to do are Very Important Things

I have to feed my diabetic cat. This in itself is not a problem, however she's needs to eat at a specific time (12 hour spacing) and my current sleeping situation along with work do not allow this to happen consistently. Currently trying for 7:30, we'll see how it goes

My apartment has bedbugs, and there's no way in fucking hell I'm sleeping on my living room floor until my scumlord landlord actually gets the guy to come back to spray because he did spray but I'm still seeing adults and i "need to give the spray time to work" it's been fucking 2 weeks i don't know how is supposed to work but i feel like after 2 weeks whatever spray you did isn't going to get any stronger i just want to sleep in my own bed it's been like this since fucking March

With that part explained, I'm sleeping at my mom's house on the other side of town. This in itself isn't much of a problem, however as "payment" i have to take care of her dog in the morning, to practice because she's going on a week long vacation in October and none of her dogs can just be taken care of like normal dogs. He needs to wear a diaper to leave the room while i pick up his shit and soiled weewee pad and mop the floor, give him some time to be out of his room, and then feed him his special food mix. The other dog has allergies and probably will get into something he shouldn't, then not use the bathroom outside even though he literally has a doggy door that has constant access to the backyard. Neither dog get along with each other, which is why they are separated. Thank fuck the cat is just normal, this is why i prefer them

Now with THAT explained, it's difficult to take care of my own cat on time in the morning. But as the legendary Billy Mays says: But wait, there's more!

I just got rehired at my job working in a local understaffed pizzeria. My friend, ego also works there, is on vacation (good for her, she deserves it, absolutely no negativity towards her) so i have acquired her hours. So i now work 6 days a week, kinda sorta clopen but i guess it's more of opelose. Or a combination of both? Idk. The point here is, I'm then dealing with essentially running half a restaurant alone 6 days a week, with it not being 7 purely because the owner himself ALSO has the same work schedule as far as I'm aware, and wanted to give himself a day off, and since we are so understaffed it would be impossible unless we literally closed. My tasks include answering the phone, washing dishes, making sandwiches, making dinners, folding pizza boxes, and cleaning the tables/equipment on that side of the restaurant. So essentially everything except making pizzas, cleaning the pizza area, mopping in general, and driving. We generally close at 9, 10 on Friday and Saturday. Guess who was explicitly rehired to close those days? Guess how that's going to work with me having to be home around 7:30 to take care of my own cat? I have no idea either. It's only for about 3 weeks, but my mom, whom i have not asked for any additional help with anything, won't feed the cat while i have work, even though there isn't a guarantee that i can leave on time to THEN RETURN to close, because again I'm the only one on that side of the building. I understand the fear of the bedbugs, so that's probably it, but it still fucking sucks because the kitchen is on the other side of the apartment from the bedroom and there is literally no reason to go there to feed her. But i get it

Did we get to where i can do my own ADLs? Of course not. My neighbor is in the hospital, and her husband is blind. This is a new development that was only discovered an hour before starting this post (about 3:30 am for me). She's ok, it's for mental health reasons, and that's her own business about that. Her husband being blind is not a new development however. And he needs help taking care of the pets, specifically the birds. Which is fine, they just also need to eat on their own schedule. 8am, around lunchtime, and 8pm. Guess who's still at work? One of the birds is special needs because her beak got injured and needs to be essentially spoon fed. Which the blind husband can't do at all. Fairly simple task, but just adding to my obligations that are Very Important because they involve making sure things don't starve to death while my neighbor is in Crisis

Ok let's see, that's 4 Very Important Tasks/Obligations, and only one was originally my own voluntary one. Still not at taking care of myself yet, but i have my shelter, i have my job ("part time" minimum wage, hurray. Part time because even with me being there 6 fucking days a week open to close it still isn't technically enough hours for the state to recognize it as full time), and I'm taking care of *counting* about 8 pets for the next week. Will unemployment give me my money that I've been claiming since March? No? Will they let me claim with my new working hours that makes that while process even harder? Technically but it'll take over an hour for it to process and it doesn't even do that in the end? Well fuck, guess i have to wait to get paid on the books in cash and beg for a hand written paystub and have my hours worked written down. Glad i earned $100 this week, i hope now that my hours have increased i get some more

Next on the list, appointments. Because I'm a dumbass who can't remember shit if it isn't consistently recurring, i overbooked myself for next week. My much needed therapy appointment with my therapist that I've only met once and is the replacement for my much better therapist that i actually had a relationship with is supposed to have a session with me on Tuesday. Will i remember to do it this time? Possibly since i actually remembered it's on Tuesday. Will she send me the reminder text with the zoom link? Probably not. Wednesday, my one day off, thank fuck for that, is the main problem with the scheduling. My med appointment is for 11:30. Cool, can do. Driving lesson at 12. Oh, that's a little close, but i can manage that probably. I only average 1 lesson per year and a half, so it's fine, it's "healthy" to be nervous about operating a death machine powered by explosions. Have to go to social services to pick up, or attempt to, a new food stamps card. They probably close at 5, and add a Non Driver, i need to rely on someone to take me. The sooner the better, but it can't be during the lesson. Don't forget to take care of the creatures before and during all of this.

Ok. Great. There's an hour before work. Time to shower, because it's so fucking hot I'll be sweating like crazy by the time i get around the corner to the pizzeria, with me literally getting out and dressed and then walking out the door. Glad i finally did still to take care of myself. Eating? I might have something i can heat up quickly while the cat eats and so i can take my own meds. Dishes? Those are going to have to wait, i hope the heat wave doesn't get too bad, but it's been like this for a while, still slowly chipping away at them. Sleep? Severe insomnia. I partially blame the bed, my mattress is so comfortable, i hope the bedbugs like it because i can't fucking use it right now. I'd be sleeping so fucking soundly if i were in my own bed, and yet here i am. Maybe i should take the Trazodone now. I just hope I'll wake up on time. Oh look I'm exhausted, can't afford to buy comparatively better prepared coffee from Dunkin, so i guess my shitty at home coffee is going to have to do. Black because i don't have any creamer or milk or lactose free milk in my house. Just the way i hate it. Gonna have to deal with that i guess, maybe I'll learn to like it

The coffee pot lives in my fridge now. I'm worried to put it with the other dishes because if it sits there, not being washed like everything else, then i won't even have the option of coffee. It's just water and ground up beans, I'm sure it's fine

Maybe i can find some kind of coping skill/hobby to help me through my limited me time. Let's see.... I like to crochet, and that helps me get through the dishes by letting me alternate between them and a row/round on one of my many started projects. What? It's in a giant garbage bag with a bedbug treatment stick because of the damn ass bedbugs? Can't open it for at least another week and even then there isn't a place to put the yarn safely? Well fuck. I found that really helpful with keeping me grounded. Umm, well looking online, i should *checks notes* buy new yarn in the meantime and keep it somewhere safe. Uh, well, i can't afford more yarn now and i have nowhere to put it. Videogames it is maybe? Oh fuck now I've hyper focused too long on pokemon, rhythm heaven, and whatever daily games i do, i think i have 5 of those of varying lengths of time spent on them

Did i remember to brush my teeth? No. Do i remember that i should and then when i get out of the shower so i forget to actually execute? Yes. Have i gone insane? Probably

How many spoons is a person supposed to have per day? It takes more for me just to get through the day in general. Why does everyone need me to do their Very Important Tasks? Why is there never anyone else? Can my neighbor just not buy more birds when she gets home from Crisis?

I just want to have good mental health, why is this so hard

tasted like an apple pie || frederik gauthier

masterlist

Author’s Note: I looked at my own request list and came up with this idea because I wanted to write. It was originally going to be Kevin Hayes... then my utter dumbass remembered that Frederik Gauthier actually bakes. F in chat for my idiocy. GIF credit goes to vitosfangirl!!

Warnings: There’s one sentence that mentions the situation everyone is in right now. If that’s something you’re avoiding reading about, I understand and have a nice day. As per the last one, I think this is really sweet and might give you diabetes.

Translations: There is some French in this fic. The first instance translates to: “Why the hell did you do that?” The second instance translates to: “Disgusting!” The third instance translates to: “Will you marry me?”

Word Count: 1.1k+

Title: Apple Pie Moonshine by Jake Owen

Additional: Gender-neutral reader this time!! I just kinda wrote this one and let the gender of the reader come with whatever I decided to write; I didn’t set a certain gender limitation. Whatever happened happened.

Additional 2: This is for anyone that saw the post about this fic and my computer. My computer is still being stupid and barely let me post something that I was tagged to post. So. I’ve decided to post this from my phone because I’ve changed my mind: I’m not waiting 80 years for my computer to cooperate with me. This fic is done now so I’m posting it now. If there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, please be kind because I can’t check them as easily on my phone as I can on my computer. I’ll try to go back and edit this post for spelling/grammar once my computer starts behaving again. Alright. That being said: I hope you all enjoy this!!

You were known for tossing and turning in bed at night; you always had trouble getting comfortable. Your boyfriend, Frederik, never had a problem with that. He could sleep through the apocalypse and never felt you shifting around for the most part. It was one of the things that made your relationship work; he never complained when you tossed and turned constantly. You had boyfriends in the past that would get so fed up with your constant tossing and turning that they would sleep on the couch. That ultimately led to the downfall of those relationships.

Tonight was a particularly bad night for your tossing and turning. It was hot in the apartment and you were sticky from the sweat that had accumulated on your body. When you tossed the comforter off, you sighed from relief. The rush of cool air from the air conditioner felt nice on your tacky skin. After taking a moment to grow accustomed to the cool temperature, you shifted to Frederik’s side of the bed; you wanted to cuddle with him. When you found empty space, you frowned. You glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand--2:04 am. You frowned again; Frederik didn’t usually get up in the middle of the night.

Sitting up in the bed, you ran a hand down your face. You cringed when it came off covered in sweat. Wiping it off on the comforter, you coughed momentarily because your throat had gone dry because you were still overheating. Sighing, you swung your feet around the bed and decided to head to the kitchen for a glass of water.

When you walked into the kitchen, you blinked. Frederik was standing at the island, a mixing bowl in front of him. He had a recipe card and a bunch of bags and cartons of various ingredients strewn across the top of the island; there was even a bag of apples sitting beside the sink on the countertop to the left of the island. Stella was curled up on her dog bed in the living room, sleeping peacefully as if what was happening in your kitchen wasn’t completely bonkers for this time of night.

“What’s all this?” You asked, motioning to everything in front of Frederik.

“I couldn’t sleep so I decided to make an apple pie,” Frederik said, not looking up from the flour he had been measuring.

You blinked as you slid into one of the barstools across from him. “Since when do you bake in the middle of the night?”

Frederik shrugged as he poured the flour into the mixing bowl. He grabbed the stick of Cisco and the knife, cutting the correct portion as per the recipe. “When you’re in quarantine that seems like it’ll never end, you do weird things to keep you entertained.”

He dropped the Cisco into the bowl before opening the carton of eggs. He cracked two of them into the bowl and placed the shells back into the carton. The next thing to go into the bowl was baking soda; he made sure to measure the correct amount, levelling it correctly in the measuring spoon.

He passed the bowl to you and smiled. “Since you’re here; go wash your hands so you can mix that.”

Nodding, you stood and walked to the sink. You scrubbed your hands thoroughly before you went back over to Frederik. He had grabbed another bowl and had begun putting the ingredients for the apple garnish together.

Mixing the ingredients for the dough together gave you a brilliant idea. Once the dough was at the consistency you wanted, you took some of it and rolled it into a ball in your hands. Glancing over at Frederik to make sure that he wasn’t paying you any attention, you lobbed the dough ball at him when it was clear that he wasn’t.

“Mais pourquoi diable me fait ça?” Frederik asked, though his voice didn’t sound angry in the slightest. In fact, he actually chuckled and reached for the bowl himself. He grabbed a handful of dough and smeared it in your hair.

You giggled and took some more dough, leaned across the island, and smeared it in Frederik’s hair. Frederik smiled as he grabbed a small amount of flour, blowing it in your face. You sneezed before glaring at him with a fond smile.

Reaching for the bag of flour, you accidentally knocked it over. It spilled onto the counter and caused a small cloud to puff out from the pile. Frederik coughed as he waved a hand in front of his face in an attempt to disperse the cloud. You took that opportunity to grab a handful of the flour and blow it into his glasses. Frederik made a comical face as he took them off to examine how dirty they were.

“Cheater!” He took one of his hands, cupped your face, and gently pushed it backward. You giggled the entire time as you licked a stripe along his hand. Frederik withdrew his hand and made a mock face of disgust. “Répugnant!”

You shrugged, smiling cheekily. “You put your hand there; it’s fair game.”

Frederik rolled his eyes as he wiped the flour from his glasses. When he was satisfied that they were clean, he placed them back on his face. He made an ah-ha face and you chuckled; he did that every time he put his glasses on. He wanted to be dorky about the fact that he could see clearer every time he put them on.

“Since we made a mess of the dough,” Frederik said, motioning to his hair and then yours. “Do you just want to mix this garnish into whipped cream and have ice cream?” He tipped the mixing bowl toward you to show you the garnish that was finished being mixed.

Nodding, you walked to the freezer. You pulled out the ice cream before closing the freezer and grabbing the can of whipped cream from the fridge. When you walked back to Frederik, he had managed to grab a couple of bowls and spoons.

He dished out the ice cream, whipped cream, and garnish into both bowls. He handed you your bowl and spoon before coming around the island to sit beside you.

The two of you ate in comfortable silence for a few moments until Frederik took his finger, swooped it through his ice cream, and smeared it across your lips. You darted your tongue out and licked the ice cream off.

“Tastes like apple pie,” you said.

Frederik smiled before he leaned over and kissed you. You kissed back, humming softly when you tasted the mixture of flavours on his lips.

When you pulled back, Frederik’s eyes were softer than you had ever seen them. It made your heart swell as you sat there, swirling your ice cream with your spoon.

Frederik grabbed your hands, rubbing your wrists. You stared fondly at him as he inhaled and exhaled shakily. He brought one of his hands up and brushed a piece of dough out of your forehead.

Then, with a voice so soft you barely heard it, he said words that would change your life forever.

“Veux-tu m’épouser?”

late night phone call... promises in the dark...

I hope that my blog is helping someone.  it’s not easy to put all this on paper.  I’ve been told that many people face these same issues and roadblocks when trying to care for a loved one that isn’t cooperative.   At best, being a primary caregiver is a 24/7 leave your life at the door decision.  your life is no longer your own, you have to grab snatches of life when you can.  

Being a caregiver can give you much more that you give.  it’s eye opening, tasking and mentally exhausting.

After a couple of weeks out of Susan’s house and rejoining the real world I feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.

At some point the caregiver needs to consider their personal needs before the patient’s needs.

That’s where I am.  if you think that’s selfish, stay tuned.....

I talked to Susan last night. She called.  She wants me to come back and help her.  

I explained that she needed help I was not trained or qualified to give.   I can change a bandage but I can’t give her a shower.  Susan said taking care of her personal hygiene needs was no problem for her.

I had to get blunt and talk about her lack of personal hygiene in some fairly graphic terms.

She said I don’t know what I’m talking about.  

I told her the medical team treating her had told me they think she needs to be in assisted living so she could get the proper care, not just medically and physically but mentally as well.  

Susan got mad – no, furious - that I was talking to her medical team and wanted to know which ones.  I said all of them.  

She claimed I was talking to them behind her back. I had to tell her most of them approached me out of concern for her well-being - and that her inability to handle her personal hygiene was obvious as well as her refusal to do what she needed to do to keep her diabetes under proper control.

I told Susan her medical team also wants her to get serious psychological counseling, something she has refused.

Again, she said I don’t know her I’m talking about.  Susan says she is more aware of her physical and mental condition than anyone else.  And, I can’t possibly know how or what she is feeling because I’ve never been in her shoes.

True enough.  I’ve not been crushed in a car accident, breaking my back in ten places and assorted other medical conditions.

I did remind her I had 11 surgeries in nine years so I knew a fair bit about recovery from major spine and neck surgery in addition to multiple joint replacements etc. I also know how to follow doctors’ orders and let people help me – something she won’t do.

True to form, she said that wasn’t the same.

Yeah right.

The she surprised me by saying she planned to get out of her house and into a facility “soon.”

I asked when. Her response was vague so I asked for a specific timeline. She said it would take time and didn’t know.  I reminded her APS could help facilitate her moving to assisted living in a couple of weeks.    

Then she stated that the house needed to be cleaned and fixed up and that took time. She has been investigating cleaning companies but it was a process.  

I told her I could get a cleaning crew in days, not months - been there done that.  I also told her that a good relator could have her house on the market in 60 says.

Bottom line here is for every suggestion of how to move forward, Susan has a myriad of reasons why it won’t happen that way, usually because no one understand the depth of the issues or refuse to consider her thoughts.

I reminded her that her taxes were still sitting at the tax office.  all she needs to do is sign and they will be filed.  I can bring the forms to her for signature.  Again, she says I don’t understand.

I brought up her car.  it hasn’t been tagged in two years.  Again, I mentioned that I could handle all of that and had offered to several times.  And again, she says it’s not that simple and only she knows how to navigate this process.  Countering, I told her I talked with the DMV and knew exactly how to get her car tagged and registered.  Once again Susan said I didn't understand.

A psychologist said her responses are to be expected from someone who is massively depressed, scared and in a terrible amount of pain (a reminder, Susan refuses to take any form of pain medication, even Tylenol).

Until those issues are being treated, she will continue to prevaricate and waffle on even the smallest things.  it’s her way of being in control.

So, we came back to me returning to care for her

I told her there are conditions to my return

there would be total deep house clean  

I would be allowed to lean the entire house and be able to clean any room when I thought it needed cleaning.

She would allow physical and mental health nurses to treat her and that she would follow their instructions

She would follow all doctors' instructions

I would be in charge of getting all legal items taken care of promptly

She would have to sign a document agreeing to these conditions

I also told her if she agreed to this, I would stop my court action for guardianship.

She balked and said we could have this conversation in person when I returned  

My response was that these conditions are not negotiable and would need to be agreed to before I would consider returning.  

She balked and again said we could discuss the conditions in person

I said these things could be discussed on the phone.  I also reminded her that she had agreed to these conditions before and reneged. The document was to ensure she honoured her agreement.

She responded by saying I didn’t know what I was talking about and they meant I wasn’t coming back to help her.  

I reminded her all she needed to do was agree to the conditions and I would return

She got angry and then slammed her phone down

In short, same song, different day.  Susan will say anything to get what she wants but when it comes to honoring her promises, it’s a no go.

Can someone check the GFCI?

When a circuit breaker snaps, it’s because the circuit was beginning to heat beyond design capacity and it’s shutting down to prevent something worse from happening, like fire or damage to a sensitive circuit or device.

It’s a safety device, and we all know how much I love safety devices, but at the end of the day if you don’t take action when a safety device activates, generally the damage can be much worse than what the device was actually protecting.

Folks, our owners have decided that it’s going to be much easier to control the world if they only have to do it from one government, and if you still think this is a conspiracy theory, you need to turn off CNN and step outside your basement. Even the dimwit in Ottawa can no longer keep the secret of where those in lofty chambers have decided we are going, although I sincerely doubt he understands the repercussions, just like 98% of the population. It’s not their fault, they are wired in such a way they can’t see the truth, either by design or programming.

Doesn’t matter which it is (blue dress/brown dress), the damage to our population has started and we don’t have the collective will to stop it, because we’ve been conditioned to be victims. Correction. Most have been conditioned over the past two decades to be victims, to be at the mercy of big government and those who know better than you do.

I’ve a friend who explains it perfectly. He says that most people cannot see past the end of any given month. It’s not a derogatory thing, it’s just who they are. These are the people who live paycheck to paycheck, who don’t plan for the future because they are just trying to stay alive. They work hard to keep up, but are consumed by just trying to cope with what life throws at them. These are the majority of people on this planet. Not a bad thing, but these are the type of people easily controlled by fear.

The next group are the people who can see 6 to 12 months, and they understand cause and effect better than the first group. They understand that payday loans are bad and that you should control your destiny through planning. These are the type of people who run our governments and provide services. They see the benefits to organized approaches to problems and find safety in numbers of like minded people.

The last group, the smallest one are those who can see 3 to 5 years down the road. These are the visionaries, people like Edison and Orwell, Tesla and Rand. These are the Elon Musks and Bill Gates of the world. They drive humanity through aspiration and ambition.

Unfortunately they aren’t always right, for example I would consider Karl Marx to one of the latter.

So why am I talking about Karl Marx and circuit breakers you ask?

Well it’s because my tin foil hat is on too tight, or because I’m not quite right in the head I guess, or any other of the labels those who can’t see past the end of the month would paste to someone like me who likes to think a bit more long term than the end of the next season of the Kardasians.

Shutting down the world for a bad flu wasn’t a decision based in science. It’s not even a decision based in safety, and believe me I know a thing or two about that. The whole “nobody moves, nobody gets hurt” thing really doesn’t work for long. Sure, nobody gets hurt, but no body eats either. This is what your average person isn’t thinking about when they scream “stay the blazes home”.

Yes, you can stay the blazes home. Yes,  you can cower under your bed until the bad thing passes, but at the end of the day the Magic Pantry was just a kids TV show.

Dude’s gotta eat, right?

I’m currently living inside the “Atlantic Bubble”, or whatever is left of it after those anointed in oil decided to take their toys and go home, but in reality we’ve created an interesting paradigm here on the east coast of Canada that’s unlike anywhere else in the world.

We’ve created the perfect culture of fear.

Now for those living outside the bubble, we’ve shut the door, turned off the lights and posted a big “FUCK OFF” sign on the front lawn. We’ve turned our back to the virus like it’s a Trump supporter. This is our plan. We’ve posted guards, created intricate rules around who can go where and why, and basically made it impossible to move anywhere without government permission. All over a bad flu with a survivalbility rate of over 99.4%, with 70%+ of the mortality coming from those 70 years of age and older. You are more likely to die from an automobile accident today than COVID.

Don’t get me wrong, COVID is no cake walk, it’s a nasty disease, but it’s not Ebola. I’ve been battling this virus now for 11 months, I’ve seen how it works, it’s veracity is substantial, and if you have co-morbidities such as diabetes or heart disease, it can take a toll on you, and yes, more people are dying from it than the seasonal flu, but at the end of the day it’s not going to wipe out the human race. The majority of the people who test positive don’t even know they have it.

And don’t get me started on testing.

I can’t talk publicly about it but if you see me out and about, ask me why I think testing is a control and not a diagnostic element. Sorry, the hat’s tightening.

Let me throw one example out for you to chew on, let’s say vaccines. Now the vaccines are the panacea for the masses right? I mean we should be amazed we were able to concoct a vaccine that is 95% effective in eradicating this virus inside 8 to 10 months, hell, we should be ecstatic, right? I mean it took 30+ years to get a handle on AIDS and we beat COVID in just 240 days. We currently linbe up to get an annual flu shot to protect us from the last major Coronavirus (Remember the Spanish Flu?) that has been in development for the last 60 years and it’s still only 35-40% effective, and less than 50% of Canadians get it

We must be freaking geniuses now.

I’ll never understand the sheer amount of dumb optimism that’s out there, but I certainly appreciate it. Without that optimism we’d be more like Lemmings than we currently are.

But back to the “great reset”, shall we?

So dude’s gotta eat, right? I’m going to quote one of my modern day heros, Elon Musk when he says “If people wants stuff, they have to make it” or something along those lines. In other words, there’s no money tree. My parents very early on taught me that lesson, and that if I wanted anything in life I had to earn it or make it, that there was no such thing as a free meal. The problem is most people today have been conditioned to think there is. Trudeau has been giving away our money like a drunken sailor on shore leave to the tune of $400 BILLION dollars in 8 months. Let me put it another way, in the last 240 days Trudeau has spent $10,814.00 per Canadian citizen, or around $25K per taxpayer. That’s debt folks, that’s directly on the shoulders of every Canadian. But it’s ok they say because interest rates are so low we can afford the additional leverage.

Problem is folks is interest rates don’t stay low after a major crisis. Why? It’s called inflation. As money supply loosens, so does the value of a dollar, and when the value of a dollar decreases because there’s more supply of dollars then prices increase. When prices start increasing wages need to go up to keep pace with inflation, and when that happens there are two options. Control monetary supply, otr deal with runaway inflation.

How do you control inflation you ask? Great question. You raise interest rates to throttle spending.

How can anyone forget the late 1970’s? It was less than 50 years ago folks. Remember Trudeau’s 6 & 5? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? JUSTIN? For fuck sakes the kid was living at 22 Sussex drive when his father created the greatest economic challenge of our lifetime.

Wait, check that. Apparently the second wave will be worse than the first.

This great reset is gong to be tragic. Already they are estimating over 100 Million people in 3rd world countries will die next year due to disease and starvation because of the lock downs. In our own western countries the most disadvantages are already our most vunerable populations. Humans aren’t meant to be caged, nor can we afford to be. We need to be free, have purpose, and contribute to a vibrant society.

You can’t govern that. You can’t rule over a captive society for long. History has shown us that time and time again that King’s aren’t benevolent rulers and those who suffer the most are at the bottom the societal ladder.

If you aren’t seeing the end goal yet, I get it, but I do. You only need look as far as the ice cream eating elite who enjoy fine dining when your cupboard is near empty and jet off to Mexico while telling you can’t bury your spouse or child. They make you endure cruel mental anguish while they spend your tax dollars on jet setting and pontificating about a communist world that they rule.

All in the name of a better world, one free of climate change and racism.

Who knows, maybe they are right, maybe they are part of the component of society that sees the future more clearly than the rest of us.

I guess that’s why they get ice cream and can go spend Thanksgiving with their moms while you can’t bury yours.

I guess that’s just our lot in life, to be ruled, to understand it’s for thee, but not for me.

This what we want? This what we deserve? Am I wrong?

I don’t think I am, I just want to be. Can someone go downstairs and check the fuse?

Jim Out

How I Got Here: One Year (and 85 pounds) Later

On October 14th, 2019, I began a journey that would change my life (and my health) for the better. I’ve told the whole story to a few people here and there, but never really put the whole thing down in to words. I figured the one year anniversary would be a good time to do that.

On October 14th, 2019, I weighed 250 pounds. As I’m writing this today, on October 14th, 2020, I weigh right at 165 pounds.

With that, here’s what happened, and how I got here... one year (and 85lbs) later.

It all began on Friday, October 11th at about 12:00pm. I was working from home, Jill was at work, and Turner was at school. Sydney had been dealing with a nasty body rash, so we had kept her home from school. We were dog sitting Jill’s parents’ dog Goldie, so Sydney and I were standing on the patio watching Goldie and Freddie play in the backyard. As we were standing there, I suddenly felt this rush of numbness take over the entire left side of my body. From the top of my head to my toes. Total numbness. My left hand felt like I had been sitting on it for a half hour. My mouth had that sensation (or lack of sensation, as it were) of just receiving a shot of novocaine from the dentist. 

This was, as you can imagine, pretty strange, so I quickly gathered the dogs and Sydney and went back inside. I sat back down at my desk while the episode was happening. After about 60 seconds, it stopped. Just went away. I didn’t pass out or get dizzy or anything. I didn’t get droopy-faced or drop anything I was holding. Just numbness (with a little tingling). 

It would happen a couple more times that afternoon and each time would last about the same amount of time; about 60 to 90 seconds or so. I had a wedding to do that Saturday (which I was NOT going to miss) and had multiple episodes of this random numbness throughout that day and night. 

That Sunday, we made our annual pilgrimage to Burt’s Pumpkin Farm and Hillcrest Orchards, and it would pop up a couple times that day. All in all, from Friday around lunch time to Sunday night, I had probably 20 of these little episodes. 

[Quick important side story: I made two BIG mistakes here, and I’m not afraid to admit them. Mistake number one: I didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, so I did the stereotypical “male” thing and swept it under the rug. I had a wedding to do, and we had our pumpkins and apples trip... and I didn’t want to miss ANY of that... and I absolutely would have. Mistake number two: I didn’t really tell Jill what was going on, and that’s one of my biggest regrets in ALL of this. I needed to tell her, but I didn’t really mention it until Sunday night. This is a mistake I will NEVER make again... and I only share this as a testimony for all married couples on what NOT to do in serious situations like this. We had just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary... and even though we’ve been married a good long time, I still got this wrong... but never again. Okay... back to the main story]

I didn’t have a primary care doctor at the time, so I figured I’d go to the urgent care near my house first thing Monday morning. Now, I realized that an urgent care can’t “fix” this, but I had to start somewhere, right? After I described what I experiencing, the PA did all of normal cognitive tests (”squeeze my fingers”, “What year is it?”, “push against my arms”, and so on). The PA went to talk to the main doctor at the primary care, and while she was gone, I had another episode. I popped my head out of the exam room to let them know. No sooner than I did that, the PA was returning from her conversation with the doctor... and they were ready to point me in the direction I was seeking. That direction was the emergency room.

Jill and I were both working from home that day, so I reached out to her and let her know that I needed to go to the ER. The urgent care wouldn’t let me leave on my own, so I either had to take an ambulance, or have someone come pick me up. Jill ran right up to the urgent care, and off we went to the hospital. 

I showed up at the emergency room VERY nervous and unsure about what would happen, but I explained what was going on, and they checked me in. Remember, this was pre-Covid, so I was able to get in with no issue and very little delay. I reached out to my work supervisor to let him know what was going on and that I’d be away from my desk for a while. All good there. I was taken back to the ER area and got the ball rolling. 

After my vitals were taken, tests were immediately ordered. Luckily, the BIG tests (MRI, CT scan, heart ultrasound) appeared to be normal. *whew* Good news there. I also did the whole gauntlet of blood and urine tests. Now, I always knew that I was pretty overweight and that my eating habits were NOT good. I was also expecting my blood pressure to be less than spectacular (whih it was, of course). I hadn’t taken any medications for cholesterol or BP. This was mainly due to a condition that Jill and the ER nurses referred to as “manitis” (aka male stubbornness). %100 guilty of that FOR SURE. 

While all this is going on, I would have a couple more episodes of that same numbness while sitting in an ER bed. 

I wouldn’t end up talking to him until later in the day, but the Neurologist who ordered and reviewed my tests instructed the staff to inform me that I would be admitted to the hospital right away. That’s when the fear REALLY sunk in.

I was taken to a room on the fifth floor and got settled in. The IV was installed, and I got “dressed” in my gown. Private room, too. Not bad. They continued to monitor my vitals... especially my blood pressure which was still far too high. I was started on a drip and began taking medicine to help my BP. 

The Neurologist came by to tell me what he believed was going on. In his estimation, the numbness was probably caused by blockages in microscopic veins/arteries (NOT a stroke or a series of mini-strokes), so, this was welcomed news. Blockages are treated with cholesterol medication (something I figured was coming at some point). 

It was around this time that another person (a nurse, I believe) came in and said something to the effect of “Oh, and by the way... you have type 2 diabetes.”. Wait, what??

The results of the blood work I had done earlier showed my A1C level was WAY WAY WAY too high. If you’re not familiar with A1C, it’s a three month average of your blood sugar. A normal, healthy person’s A1C is probably 4.5 or so. Mine was 11.1. As my work supervisor said, I should have been in a diabetic coma! That’s an incredibly high and dangerous number. So, not only did I begin treatment for high cholesterol to help ease these numbness episodes, I immediately began treatment for type 2 diabetes. This included regular insulin injections throughout the day... in addition to the medication I had begun taking for the blockages. 

The meds I was taking for the numbness seemed to have worked. I had one last episode around 5:00pm the day I checked in to the hospital. And now, exactly a year later, I haven’t had another one since then. I was told that I would stay the night in the hospital for further observation. If my BP could get under control, I would be able to go home... tomorrow. I was spending the night in the hospital. 

I’m not going to lie. I was incredibly scared at this point. How would I explain to Turner and Sydney what was going on? How long would I have to stay here? Am I going to be okay? What’s actually going on? The questions were swirling. Jill brought the girls up to the hospital that evening and I explained to them, in plain english, exactly what was going on. They understood, which is good... because I didn’t want to hide anything from them (or Jill) anymore. 

A new journey was already underway.

After Jill and the girls left for the night, I had a little bit of a meltdown. Okay, maybe two... but they were interrupted by the constant flow of nurses coming to poke me with needles. I’m a good patient, though, and complied with all of the instructions I was given. The way I figured, if I followed instructions and did what I was told, I would get to go home sooner. 

It worked. I was ultimately discharged at about 5:30 on Tuesday... about 36 hours after arriving.

I met with a diabetic counselor to start the learning process (which is ongoing until this very day). I started on insulin while I was in the hospital and began checking my sugar (finger pricks) 4 times a day. I also made an appointment with a new primary care doctor for later that week. I was on my way!

After meeting with my doctor (which I’ve done regularly for the past year), I was able to get on a path to wellness. I used to eat absolute garbage... and HUGE portions of it, too. I also dropped the diet coke right away. To this day, I still don’t take in ANY caffeine. I immediately went low/no carb, low/no sugar, HIGH protein. I did have to drop beer, which is sad. I really enjoyed my nice, locally crafted IPA’s, but they have WAY too many carbs. I switched to bourbon, though. A suitable replacement, if you ask me. Ha ha! All throughout this process, I found that I have far more self control and will power than I ever imagined. At the risk of sounding cliche’, if *I* can make these changes, literally anyone can. 

In more recent days, I’ve found that I can take in a bit more carbs (and even some sweets) and still keep my sugar under control. I still can only eat smaller portioned meals and get full much quicker than I used to. I’m good for usually one big meal a day (usually dinner). I still keep the carbs way down, though. I’ve been able to learn how my body reacts to certain kinds of carbs and adjust my meals based on that. For instance, pizza doesn’t really affect me too terribly bad. French fries, however, aren’t as good. It’s stuff like that I’ve had to train on. It’s been a lot of trial and error, but in the long run, it’s worth it.

It hasn’t always been easy. There were plenty of times where a delicious piece of cake was waved under my nose... or a big pile of french fries were put in front of me. It was that fear of poor health that kept me away from those things, though. It was the motivation of wanting to walk my daughters up the aisle at both of their weddings. It was the notion of growing old with Jill, holding our grandchildren, and living a FULL. Once I found that motivation, it got easier. 

Early on in the journey, I would do things that weren’t so smart... like purposely withhold meals. I would say I wasn’t hungry, when in truth, I was afraid of food. I’m not proud of this and it’s definitely NOT the way to go. But you have to understand... I was making a complete 180 degree change in my lifestyle, and I didn’t really know what I was doing. There was also a medication had the main purpose of controlling my blood sugar levels. One of its side effects was that it would completely zap my appetite. That also caused me to skip a lot of meals. These days, my appetite is much better and healthier, and I rarely ever skip a meal. If I do, it’s because the previous meal was on the bigger side.

In the months that followed, I would make regular visits to my new doctor (which I still do to this day... about every three months). I have also been able to adjust my medication to almost nothing. Eventually, I was able to drop the insulin (and later, the metformin which is a popular drug for diabetics). I still take one pill to control my sugar as well as medication for cholesterol and blood pressure. 

The main thing that’s helped me was diet... because I HAAAATE exercise. Definitely not a fan. I admit that I probably would have gotten much further much quicker had I done literally ANY kind of exercise, but it is what it is. These days, I could probably stand to do some kind of exercise just to tone up what I have... and what I have is still kind of a “dad bod”... it’s just 85 pounds lighter than it used to be. ha ha!

I’ve had to get a completely new wardrobe, too! I went from a 40 inch waist to a loose 34 (33 would be perfect). I was squeezing into XL sized shirts (2X in some cases)... now, I’m mostly wearing size MEDIUM. Depending on the brand, LG shirts are sometimes a bit too loose. I tell ya what... the clothing part ALONE absolutely blows my mind! I had taken MANY BIG BAGS of clothes to a local thrift store. Also, we took Turner and Sydney to Old Navy a couple weeks ago to get new pants for the fall. While we were there, I decided to try on a couple shirts. You see, Old Navy doesn’t make clothes for people like me (or like how I used to be). The occasional XL sized t-shirt, maybe. But generally speaking, Old Navy wasn’t my store. Well, not only was I able to fit into a shirt, it was MEDIUM sized... not even large! Not gonna lie...I teared up a bit. That was a moment for sure. I brought home about 6 or 7 new shirts for the fall that day. I mean, wow.

I’ve been writing this blog in my heads for several months, and I feel like I’ve gotten everything written out, so I’ll wrap this up. I never knew how miserable I was before until I actually got healthy. I feel better now than I ever remember feeling. I’m sleeping better (and not snoring anymore, according to Jill), I have SO much more energy, and life, in general, is just.... better. 

As of today, I’m 85 pounds down, my blood pressure and cholesterol are at normal, healthy levels, and most importantly, my A1C is 5.0... well below the diabetic range. Even though my numbers are good, I’ll *always* be a diabetic, so I’ll always have to be careful about what I eat. 

Thank you to everyone who has expressed their congratulations. It means a lot... and hearing “Wow, you look great!” never (NEVER) gets old.

ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key.   But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non  paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win"  But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response.   I need help with the boundary thing.  As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head.  I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me.   I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean.   I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person.  I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

NUTRITION SUPPLEMENTS SOLUTION-KNOW WHY YOU NEED SUPPLEMENTS

Wholesome enhancements are consumable well-being items that have at least one supplement and fixings found in the typical food.

Individuals inquire as to whether they should take them. My answer is, yes!

As indicated by the Natural Institute of Health, enhancements can help you in getting enough amounts of fundamental supplements. Anyway, they ought to never supplant your everyday diet, they just supplement it.

Simply consider our present frenzied ways of life;

We scarcely devour the supplements that our body needs.

Without acknowledging it, this furious way of life acquaints us with quick and shoddy nourishment's.

These have a great deal of sugar, fat, and sodium, which can prompt coronary illness, stoutness, diabetes, joint pain, and another way of life maladies.

These days regardless of whether you are so well-being cognizant, you are set to flop because of elements outside your ability to control.

Causes of Nutritional Deficiency

Healthful inadequacy is where your admission of supplements isn't sufficient for the ordinary working of the body. I have assembled genuine realities on a few variables which causes a sound eating regimen not to give adequate supplements.

1) Soil Depletion

In many pieces of the world, the soil has been drained by overgrazing, over-cultivating what’s more, and ecological debasement. Thus, our specks of dirt are of inferior quality and it is difficult to improve them. Along these lines, the dietary benefit is lost on the grounds that our dirt is exhausted of basic supplements.

2) Food Processing and Preservation

Food preparation and protection removes fundamental supplements. For example, 80% magnesium and 70-80% zinc is lost when refining wheat to white flour. In a similar way, 99% of magnesium is lost when refining sugar sticks to white sugar. These are only a couple of models.

I am persuaded that these figures just talk about the amount we have to enhance our eating routine. Newly collected food has a significant level of supplements. Yet, how regularly do we get them? You will concur with me, extremely uncommon!

3) Food Additives

Several counterfeit flavors, sugars, conditioners, and additives are added to most present-day food. While a portion of this assistance in protecting the food, not many are innocuous and many are poisonous. Practically these foods added substances frequently drain supplements further.

Additives, for example, BHT and BHA are the most terrible that can be on your food. Aspartame-a counterfeit sugar and EDTA chelating specialists eliminate crucial supplements from the outside of the nourishments they are applied to.

Different reasons incorporate rushed ways of life brimming with pressure, helpless dietary patterns, and substance poisons present noticeable all around and water that we take.

Health Benefits of Nutritional Supplements

The supplements remembered for these items incorporate nutrients, minerals, amino acids, and unsaturated fats among different substances. Individuals supplement their eating regimen for reasons identifying with boosting their weight control plans. The primary reasons are:

To support essentialness

To restrict or defer the indications of maturing

To decrease weakness to medical issues (like a virus)

To forestall respiratory failure

To forestall disease

To decrease pressure

Along these lines, the fundamental motivation behind why individuals take wholesome enhancements is for general well-being and prosperity.

As such, don’t hold up until a difficult strike; assume liability and watchman your heath!

Risks Associated with Nutritional Supplements

A significant number of these items have dynamic fixings that cause natural impacts on our bodies. In this way, they might be hazardous in specific circumstances, and they can con-volute and hurt your well-being. At the point when taken in an accompanying way, they can prompt hazardous and perilous outcomes;

Taking a lot of them, similar to nutrient D, iron, and nutrient A.

Taking an enhancement rather than endorsed medication.

Taking enhancement items along with prescription without your primary care physician's recommendation.

Taking enhancement items during and after the medical procedure.

Thus, abstain from taking more than the suggested sums. Continuously look for the counsel of your human services supplier or drug specialist when you are in question.

The Safety of Nutritional Supplements

Supplement organizations are not directed by any administration. Along these lines, their items are not affirmed for security before being advertised. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) audits the well-being of any new fixing in an item before showcasing. The viability of the new fixing isn't evaluated and consequently, it isn't known.

It is the duty of makers to guarantee the well-being of their items before selling them. They ought to guarantee that their items are liberated from contamination's and contaminants. They additionally guarantee that base quality norms are met and that their items are named precisely.

These producers should report any genuine enhancement impacts or disease to the FDA. FDA is liable for pulling back from the market any enhancement that is dangerous, incapable, and whose mollusks are bogus and misdirecting.

How can I Know More about the Supplement I am Taking?

You can discover more about enhancement items you are taking by reaching the maker or merchant. Their contact data ought to be accessible on the item name. You can look for additional about;

The security of the fixings in the item and their viability

Backing data on the cases of the item

Reports on the utilization of the items, for example, unfavorable impacts

What Should I do if I have a Reaction to a Supplement?

You should look for counsel from a doctor on what to do. Else you may accomplish more damage than anything else to your body.

Difficult issues coming about because of the utilization of any enhancement ought to be accounted for, either without anyone else or your primary care physician, to FDA. FDA might want data on any wholesome enhancement that causes unfavorable impacts or sicknesses.

Choosing Nutritional Supplements

I will make reference to just the primary realities here. For a nitty-gritty, conversation go to how to pick wholesome enhancements astutely.

Here is the way to pick carefully;

Purchase just from eminence organizations – look for the sites of regarded organizations.

Check whether the item has clear naming. Post for words like 'normalized' on the name.

Search for the 'authentication of examination'. This affirms the virtue of an item.

Watch out for bogus explanations, for example, 'can treat and fix all sicknesses', 'no reactions'.

Visit Health Fraud Scams to know the fake dietary items.

FDA's Tainted Supplement records a portion of the perilous enhancement items in the market.