I don’t wanna wait … The thought of you missing me makes me I don’t know I can’t do this anymore let me want who I want to want get your own stay in your lane damn it is this crazy enough?? I don’t think I would ever like someone who would smoke their heart black I hate the smell of smoke it’s bad I don’t want to drink I know it’s bad but for some reason it’s hot hahahaha are you there? I miss you want you even if it’s someone else who is there come to me I’m scared I don’t want to annoy you my life is not together I’m still broken I’m in pain I’m tired I don’t want to hurt you I need to forget haven’t slept longer than 24 hours today you make me stay up even though I don’t know you where are you why did you leave I know you would have left if I stayed I hate you I feel gross safe…. I don’t know you let me be reckless poison uncomfortable hate this shit mad angry too many walls want you alone but I feel that it’s not right I’m gonna get bored I don’t wanna be in pain or heartbroken need to take care of myself get my emotions set adapting to what to my life if it changes or stays the same ….?… I never liked fuck you fuck me but now you are there I think I like it??? I don’t know I don’t want to miss you im in pain leave me alone don’t talk to me anymore let me better myself adaptings a bitch please dont leave I miss you but I can’t I have to keep going what if I get bored I don’t want to be broken God help want to maybe hurt myself and hate God😖 😩 help stay make the effort even if I don’t damn it holding on for dear life your smile is the cutest youre so tall giant hot wrap me up so we can cuddle when I’m cold and depressed butterflies first touch unexpectedly trying don’t trust myself or you to be honest i can’t believe you had to wait Makes me happy just cuz I was in pain but I feel bad everyone has to wait too long too much to bare getting angrier everyday will you ever read this I don’t know I hope so where are my letters please don’t throw this away scared I want to be with you do everything together I wanted to be your number one trying to get over it please don’t tell me I’m too late feeling guilty if you are here cuz you are married how could you I tried to get your attention thank you for caring you make me happy am I friend or best friend or someone you just care about or maybe it could be more you near makes me more aware of what’s going around me and it gives me a panic attack and angry cuz I shut things out and don’t know notice small things if you talk to me I won’t forget you your face will be on my face do I wanna fall no catch me build a life be my eyes lead me when I don’t know what’s going on around me if you get mad at me I might cry if I do I will just shut you out make you feel the hurt I’m feeling I don’t want to get bored tell me the right thing to do even if it’s hard maybe the right things is nothing maybe everything is just right it’s so hard me for to say I don’t want to say it it hurt thoughts of I think invalid feelings I wanna sleep over even if I miss my house and want to leave cuz it’s not my bed or what I’m use to don’t want to be awake at night feeling like is this all there is…. Don’t want to be broken don’t want you to disappear without telling me want to be in control even tho its hard trying not to I don’t know passion but safe if there is even such thing lol why can’t I bring myself to buy you something that is not in my head since I’m broke expensive 🥴🥺 what is your shoe size what is your fav color I don’t want wrinkles are you awake what do you eat I wish we grew up together or maybe lived close growing up but maybe I feel like I wouldn’t have stayed I’m sorry but hopefully realize you are for me don’t want to be in 2 yrs of being together and being bored and feeling nothing but don’t want to be broken don’t die I don’t want to die I need more time thought the world was ending cuddling a pillow is like cuddling you first time I remembered you I don’t remember what I was feeling that day just small things I knew I couldn’t be with anyone and didn’t want to but you were there