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choicesficwriterscreations · 8 months

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September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Ales Spencer Hunt

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The sixth MC of the Month is @lovealexhunt's Alex Spencer Hunt.

Learn more about Alex below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC.

Alex was the first MC I wrote about in the PB universe. Alex got me writing again. She got me interested in fan fiction again. She brought this whole world into my life. I had lurked in the Choices fandom before, but it wasn’t until I started writing for Alex (and Thomas) that I really stepped out of the shadows to join. I love Alex and Thomas more than I can express. They have my whole heart. They inspired me to take a chance to join a community, to try writing again, and to make new friends. Without them, I probably wouldn’t be here today. What I love most about Alex and Thomas (because they go together) is they saved me and gave me something to aspire toward. The life she created is absolutely beautiful, and I hope that I can be even half as lucky as her! Alex gives me hope.

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

Alex and I definitely have several similarities. Our biggest similarity is her love of coffee and all things caffeine. Alex sometimes carries 2-3 coffees with her just in case, and I may… also do that… I mean, can you really have too much coffee? No. No, you can not! Alex also loves animals, like I do. She rescued a black lab, Bogart, who is the most precious, goodest boy ever. I also have a black lab mix that I rescued. She believes in leaving the world a better place than she found it, even if it’s by doing small things, like picking up a piece of trash or pushing a shopping cart back. We both enjoy quiet moments at home with family. We also enjoy watching movies snuggled on the couch.

Alex is more outgoing and social than I am. I definitely struggle more with making friends and taking control of situations than she does. I am far more of an overthinker than she is. She can get in her own head, but she also knows how to get out of her own way; I definitely just get stuck in my head sometimes.

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

Alex’s family is absolutely the most important thing to her. She loves Thomas, and her whole heart belonged to him until the day she met her twins. Felicity and Vincent are her entire world. She would do anything to protect them and keep them safe. Thomas and Alex decided that they would alternate projects between them so only one of them would work at a time so that they could be present parents. They love their careers, but with the demanding hours on set and the travel anywhere in the world, they never wanted to be apart or have their children raised by nannies, so this was their solution. The twins are their first thought in anything they do.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Alex has an irrational fear of frogs (another thing we have in common 🙈), so that is definitely her biggest dislike.

Some of her pet peeves are paparazzi (especially once the twins are born), bad coffee (it’s the worst), and unrealistic beauty standards. Alex refuses to have her photos highly photoshopped/edited because of the unrealistic beauty standards set by the industry. If a magazine does edit her photos, she always releases the unedited ones to show the world what is real, especially after the twins are born. She hates that mothers are embarrassed by their post-pregnancy bodies. Everyone is different, and everyone is beautiful!

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

Alex would probably want to save her father. He died when she was 12 of a heart attack. He was in good shape, so it was completely unexpected. However, after years of wishing to change the past, Alex has realized that it is both the good and the bad that help define us. She desperately wished her father could have walked her down the aisle at her wedding, or met Thomas and their children/his grandchildren, but if she saved her father… then she may not have turned to acting as a source of comfort and to explore her feelings and then, she may never have met Thomas, and her world would be less whole without the life they built. So, in short, she wouldn’t change a thing.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song?

Some of Alex’s favorite quotes:

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible!” ~ Audrey Hepburn

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ~ Neil Gaiman

“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can make that happen, you can make anything happen.” ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~ Anne Frank

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

"I can't stop drinking coffee, I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking, and the words-putting-into-sentences doing." ~ Lorelai Gilmore (Also any other quote by Lorelai about coffee)

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC?

Hey there, my wonderful fans,

I just wanted to take a moment to send some love and inspiration your way.

Can you believe this small-town girl ended up on this incredible journey? Being a mom to Felicity and Vincent (and I can't forget Bogart,) wife to the one and only Thomas Hunt, and living my dream as an actress – it's like a whirlwind of amazing! On the outside, it may look perfect, but that doesn't mean it's without its challenges. Every one of us has our own struggles to overcome.

Remember, life might throw you curveballs from time to time, but that's just a chance to swing for the fences. I've learned that settling is like saying, "Nah, I'm good," to life's adventure. And who would do that? Not me, and I hope not you! Your dreams are just as important as mine! Your best life is out there. If you haven't found it yet, keep searching, keep fighting, and keep believing!

What you are hoping for matters! Your dreams matter. YOU matter! Don't give up on yourself or anything you want. You are a star in your own story. Embrace the challenges as they come, chase your dreams, and always remember that I am cheering you on every step of the way.

Hugs and dreams,

Alex

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc oc of the month #red carpet diaries #alex hunt #lovealexhunt #playchoices

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affectionatelyrs · 4 months

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2023 Writing Roundup

Thank you to @anincompletelist @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @littlemisskittentoes @rockyroadkylers @songliili and @xthelastknownsurvivorx for the tags

*Taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah? Great. Allow me to be somewhat sappy for a moment then.

I started writing in August of this year. As in, I haven't written fic/majorly creatively ever before this, and it's something that I never thought I would do. Until I did. And my goodness... I'm so insanely grateful that I decided to start. Writing has given me so much purpose - It's something I genuinely adore; it makes me incredibly happy that I get to share my words with all of y'all, and the people I've met have been so incredibly lovely. So, without further ado, here's what I've written in 2023! :)

January through July

Nothing, I was just an avid reader

August

Far too Enamored to be Content Now | M | 2k | One Shot

"You've been rather quiet all evening, H," Alex muses, trailing one long finger up the expanse of Henry's neck, higher, higher, high, until it lingers over his bottom lip. Taps it with the pad a few times. "Why don't you use that pretty mouth of yours to tell me what you want then, hmm?" Alex is expecting Henry's lips to pucker, their typical automatic response to this action. What he is not expecting, however, is the way Henry's lips slightly part before taking his finger slowly into his mouth and sucking, never once breaking eye-contact. - Henry is bloody starving.

You Came Out of Nowhere (And You Cut through All the Noise) | E | 10.9k | One Shot (with a bonus chapter)

Alex starts to feel worse about how he reacted to the man earlier — he’s usually all bark and no bite, but how is the bartender supposed to know that? Alex can be snarky, but he’s never cruel. Allowing his lips to quirk up into a small smile, he replies “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you, really.” “Well,” he says with a smirk, “in the event that you are lying to me simply to placate our earlier interaction, my shift ends in 15 minutes. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to stick around to chat with a perfect stranger?” Alex’s brain stutters for a moment at his facade being so transparent that it's all he can do to stutter out a “Yeah—um, yeah. Okay, sure.” Maybe he also gets stuck on the words perfect stranger, and the immediate thought of mmmm, perfect indeed that pops up in his brain as a result. He chooses to ignore that as well. - Or, Alex is feeling insecure after a bad date - Henry shows him that he doesn't have to be

September

All of This Silence and Patience (Pining and Anticipation) | T | 5.1k | One Shot

“I didn’t know that you were—” he cuts himself off, sliding a hand over his face. “I, um. Shit, sorry. I just meant, uh… Christ—” Alex saves Henry some breath by cutting him off. “Bi? Sure am.” “Since when?” Is Henry’s only response. Apparently, being in dangerously close proximity to pretty boys makes him a bit dim. Whatever. He’ll have time to reflect on this and feel utterly mortified later. Alex does the following in slow succession: smirks, cocks an eyebrow, looks Henry up and down once, and shrugs a shoulder. “I dunno. Suppose that’s a bit hard to pin down, sweetheart.” - Or, Alex (flirty) and Henry (flustered) are both hiding in a closet at a party for different reasons

Baby, You're Gonna Lose Your Own Game | E | 4k | One Shot

Alex thinks he understands why people get stupid, impulsive tattoos like their ex’s name now if the sudden urge to etch the word darling onto his hip in permanent ink is anything to go by. So, yeah, Alex supposes. Henry may still be maddening, but his mouth? His voice? Maybe it was always hot, actually, and the irritation he previously felt was just thinly veiled complete and utter attraction. That would check out. Hate has always been a multifaceted word, after all. - Or, Alex decides that he wants to fuck the British out of Henry while watching him speak at a gala

October

King of My Heart | E | 8.5k | One Shot

Alex, as always, is utterly captivating. He accepts his crown with grace and a crooked grin; it’s a duality that only he can pull off. Alex’s megawatt smile is brighter than the hundreds of multicolored shards of light reflecting off the mirrorball in the center of the room. Henry knows that Alex looks good on stage, he knows that Alex knows that he looks good on stage, and apparently, everyone else knows it as well. Henry thinks he sees a girl faint at the sight out of the corner of his eye. And yet, no one knows about Alex and him. Everyone in the crowd wants Alex, but it’s a losing battle — Henry already won that fight a couple of weeks ago. - Or, When Alex wins Prom King, Henry sneaks him away for a moment alone and realizes that his feelings may run deeper than their clandestine hookups suggest

Help Me Hold On to You | T | 3.2k | One Shot

“I can’t do this all the time, Alex,” Henry huffs out, arms crossed from the opposite end of the couch. “I’ve been more than happy to help, and I’ve been doing so as much as I can, but we need to talk about it. It’s been…a lot for me.” Too much. Henry doesn’t say it directly, but it’s the undercurrent of his words. Two words that Alex has heard many times in his life, over and over again until they became permanently pressed into his eyelids like a brand, reminding him of his state of being every time he so much as blinks. - Or, Henry isn't always able to give Alex the help he needs, which sends Alex into a spiral, but they'll always find a way to work things out together

November

Save a Horse, Ride a Princess | E | 8.6k | One Shot

“I have to say, this is all quite literal, don’t you think?” Alex wouldn’t know literal right now if it hit him in the head. “Huh?” Henry points at Alex: “Pillow Princess,” and then to himself: “Cowboy. Ready to ride and all that.” Alex nods dumbly. “Right.” - Or, Alex and Henry dress up as the ultimate couples costume for Halloween — themselves — and they both feel some kind of way about it

December

Gonna Give You Something (So You Know What’s on My Mind) | E | 11.3k | Two Shot

Alex hums, turning around to pull open the freezer drawer. “You want anything?” But Henry barely registers his question. Not when Alex is slightly bent over, allowing Henry a perfect view of his perfect ass. Each individual ridge of his spine is visible due to his lack of shirt. All of these things combined would normally be a large enough issue in itself to render Henry dumbstruck, except— Except, that’s not the only thing that Henry’s faced with. Right there, clear as day: blue lace, delicately peeking out from the waistband of his joggers. Henry’s hand immediately flies up to his cheek. The skin is hot to the touch, and he feels the imprint of where the material once lay like a brand. - Or, With the help of a white elephant gift, Henry learns that maybe the whole being-in-love-with-his-roommate thing isn’t as one-sided as he thought

Coming Soon

Double shot - my first ever multichap! :) Featuring sexting, falling in love in a coffee shop, and learning a lot about oneself - I'm incredibly excited for this one

Walk and Talk - a long one shot - College AU, irl epistolary, the literal act of walking and talking out of class and getting to know someone - this has been in the works for months

Henry is a painting (untitled) - Magical realism - Alex has a painting of a prince in his bedroom and one day it talks - a series of their conversations at night time in Alex's room, introspection, discussions of mental health, and falling in love

A secret birthday fic for @happiness-of-the-pursuit

A valentines day fic - Magical realism, Henry can see other people's future love lives and sets up shop on campus - Alex visits one day and Henry see's something he's never been able to see in his visions... himself

Coming... Eventually

Soulmate AU, beach at night, 5+1 love confession through non-verbal cues, companion fic to AOTSAP, and more

THANK U SO MUCH TO EVERYONE AGAIN. I genuinely couldn't do this without you. Fic and RWRB and all of y'all mean so fucking much to me. Thank you for an amazing year, and I'm so excited for what's to come

Tagging other ppl and literally anyone whose fics have ever inspired me bc y'all are so important - @kiwiana-writes @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @smc-27 @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged @tintagel-or-cockleshells @iboatedhere @indomitable-love @orchidscript @onward--upward @sparklepocalypse @dumbpeachjuice @dustratcentral @dustratcentral @firenati0n @gayrootvegetable @leaves-of-laurelin @lizzie-bennetdarcy @cultofsappho @cricketnationrise @nocoastposts @myheartalivewrites @matherines and @rmd-writes

#affectionatelyrs #rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb fic #rwrb fanfic #my fics #about me #tag game #writing roundup #2023 writing roundup

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skellagirl · 3 months

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I am, as usual, late lol, but Y'KNOW. This is gonna be a long, rambly post lol, sorry, I have a lot of thoughts.

2023 was a weird year for me, artwise. When it began I was still deep in my Art Block From Hell, which had begun in mid-2021 and lasted the entirety of 2022.

Being in the thick of such a ridiculously suffocating art block, for TWO AND A HALF YEARS, is like... I can't describe how fucking life-draining it is. It felt like something was fundamentally wrong with me -- like a part of me, which used to be as effortless as breathing or blinking my eyes, had ceased to function altogether. It wasn't just a regular art block, it was a complete identity crisis. I could no longer trust the instincts I'd honed over twenty-plus years, could no longer trust my sense of observation or my ability to recreate what I saw. I felt BROKEN, and every single time I picked up my tablet pen it was like I was scraping my insides with a spoon, trying to pick up whatever tiny dregs of dried-up, crusty shit I could manage to puke up onto my canvas. It was fucking painful and humiliating and completely demoralizing.

I'm not really sure what finally got me to do so, but sometime in summer (my memory is shit lol) I downloaded Game Maker, found a video tutorial on youtube, and just... gave myself over to it. I made myself learn how to use Aseprite, and working with pixels, making teeny-tiny little sprites, forced me to work in ways I usually don't. It was a lot harder for me to find the flaws in my art when my art was thirty-five pixels tall and the anatomy was stylized to communicate clear information rather than be a recreation or approximation of reality. I think I really do credit that time working on game dev as the thing that finally cracked loose all the gunk that was keeping me stuck -- I could not perpetuate the cycle of toxicity I'd fallen into because I could barely even conceptualize what 'good' or 'bad' pixel art even looked like lol. I just knew that I was making art, and for the first time in two years, it didn't feel like I was having to desperately beg the emaciated husks of my sense of self-worth and confidence to cooperate while doing so.

(I actually sort of abandoned my foray into game dev around August/September lol, as my adhd-brain, flitting around like a little hummingbird to every dopamine-rich-flower, is wont to do 🥲 But I wanna get back into it at some point!)

From there I had a rush of inspiration for an original project I've been mulling around in my head for years, and I wrote thousands of words in my worldbuilding document, made a map, developed the shell of a possible actual STORY. I returned to sketching. Conventional sketching. It was, at first, largely still comprised of that same demotivating struggle against myself, but I was so deep in the throes of inspiration (after several years of this project laying dormant in my google drive) that I NEEDED to sketch. So I kept going. And after a while, it got....... easier. And I started hating everything I made a little less. I painted, properly, for the first time in years. I stayed up late into the night, even if it meant I would be tired at work the next day, because drawing felt so damn GOOD again and I had missed that feeling so much. All I wanted to do was draw. For the first time in two and a half years, I could finally see the light at the end of the fucking tunnel.

I still don't think I'm quite out of the woods yet. My style is changing, as all artists' styles do over time, and that comes with stumbling adjustments. My confidence is still small and shaky and recovering; I still catch myself second-guessing what I've drawn, and even looking at some of the things here on my grid makes me cringe a little bit for one reason or another.

But compared to both 2021 and 2022, the volume of art, and in particular the volume of art I don't actively despise, is WAY higher, and I'm really really hopeful that that means I'm finding my footing again.

So! Here's to 2024, and to continuing to move towards the light at the end of the tunnel 🙏🌟 I'm gonna try.

#art vs artist #art vs artist 2023 #my art #skella's ugly mug #I actually did an art vs artist in 2021 but I only ever posted it on facebook lol I wasn't confident enough to post it anywhere else #purple and orange/yellow continues to be my favorite color pallet apparently #sorry not sorry for being sappy on my own blog <3333 #long post

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elegance-and-grit · 7 months

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3/100 days of productivity

14.09.2023

Habits

🚶 1 hour of movement (45 minutes of biking and 15-minute walk, counts. Let's see how I'll approach this once I am living closer to uni and don't have to bike that much anymore. 0.0)

🏊‍♀️ 30 mins of sports (Went for a short 20-minute run, but I am letting this count. I trained for a Tough Mudder 10k at the end of august; it was a great success and fun. However, after 7k my knee started hurting so bad, that I had to stop or risk again not being able to even walk without pain for a few weeks (been there, done that). Was quite frustrating, because I had the condition, I just didn't have the properly trained knees. So the plan now is to run a lot but short intervals and increase them slooooowly. The method for now is: September 20mins, October 25 mins, November 30 mins and so on. Let's see if it will help!)

🧘 Yoga (any duration)

🥗 Somewhat healthy food (well, i am giving myself half a point here. Managed three and a half proper and healthy meals, but drank far to sweet coffees and ate two slices of cake, which might be a lot of sugar.)

Study & Work

📚 Read 30 minutes (Nope :/)

✍️ Wrote 30 minutes (Nope :/)

💭 Thought 30 minutes (Nope :/)

💻 Concentrated work for 6 hours (I tried really hard, but yesterday wasn't a good day. Got close to 6 hours but can't really say that it was concentrated.)

I also got far too stuck on some setup issues to debug my patch. Not really sure what the hell I spent my time on there. Feels not well invested. (And that happens to me sometimes, I think I need to start be more pragmatic about what is actually the goal/measure of success and how to reach it). But the setup is now running, so today I can actually tackle the challenge!

Other

I am sitting in a coffee shop writing this, but it's really not romantic, man. The music is far too loud and the customers are somehow really impolite and that makes me very uncomfortable. But hey, got a good coffee first thing in the morning! And now my headphones stopped working.

Fixed the headphones thing with a small power charge, I am a certified engineer after all! But noise-cancelling headphones are sometimes really a life-changer!

The 3-small tasks a day thing is working great for me! Would be funny if this simple approach finally solves my continuous problems with my doom pile. But I am ready for funny.

(My doom pile issues are really not so good, I keep delaying a few tasks one really should not delay, and feel really blocked on tackling them. Not sure why. But I feel good about this three tasks a-day thing. 3 tasks fit nicely on a post-it and the "doom" feeling that happens when I look at my list, doesn't set in.) Even today I realized when I looked at my three points of today, that I was daunted by two of them, but like it was manageable? Maybe my brain was just disillusioned before, always convincing myself that I would get this mountain down in one very productive day. Again, funny.

Had a really nice lunch with a good friend (and a coffee and a walk). If I sometimes ask myself why I don't manage 8 productive hours a day, maybe it's mainly because of 2 1/2 hours lunch breaks or other breaks like this. But not decided on what to do - I like those breaks. Anyone having any suggestions? How do you manage to get your number of productive hours in?

Had a really nice evening with my boyfriend, too. I think we're both becoming more relaxed and it's great. I think this type of evening (with the same kinda setup) would have perhaps been stressful before, but now we managed to make it really nice. Proud of myself here!

Feeling really good and I am grateful for that. Also - I am really happy about every like and follow and more blogs to discover and follow myself. Thank you all lovely studyblr people! So far studyblr really is having a positive impact. <3

#studyblr #studyspo #100 days of productivity #programming #career #motivation #positive mental attitude #productivity #productivity challenge #productivitytips #studying #coding #codeblr #progblr

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whentherewerebicycles · 10 months

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liz has my car for an interview so I’m just hanging out at the hospital for another hour waiting for my doctor to call and tell me what happens next. I have one time-sensitive work task I need to finish but apart from that I am just giving myself full permission to be easy and gentle with myself today. I wish someone would call me and help me understand how soon I should expect the surgery to happen so I can make arrangements at work. I’m trying to do the thing where I make a plan as a way of reasserting a sense of control over my life so here is my plan: I assume it’ll happen in late June or early July. and then I should expect to spend July, August, and September waiting, and then probably a bit longer than that as my period is very irregular when I’m not being medicated. so maybe in October or November I can start this excruciating process all over again. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of just like, the yawning abyss of despair or whatever, but I guess the silver lining is I can spend those 3-4 months setting money aside and not dividing my life into two-week windows of waiting. I know this is a despair feeling and not an actual reflection of reality but I feel like I’ve put some essential part of my self on hold this year, like I’ve just been living in this weird state of emotional paralysis where I can’t really envision what the immediate or longer-term future will look like because I don’t know if I’ll be pregnant or not. and I guess it feels in some ways like a more painful continuation of last year where I didn’t know what my next job would be or if I’d stay in texas or what my life would look like after may, and that all worked out okay in the end but it’s just kind of hard on the mind/heart to exist for a long time in that held-breath mode of waiting. I want to come out of that if I can, I want to exist in the happy now of living in a place where I love, with some of my very favorite people and animals in the world around me, working in my dream job. but I feel such deep sadness right now and I feel like I’m half in and half outside of my own life and I know it’ll pass in time but it’s hard. I was staring at the ceiling today because I didn’t want to look at the ultrasound screen and I was just thinking what I always try to think in moments like this, which is some version of: let everything that happens to me move me towards deeper compassion, let everything that hurts make me gentler and more loving with others, let me turn outwards to the world instead of inwards to my hurt, but of course it’s aspirational rather than a reflection of reality, because a bad thing happening makes me curl in on myself like a pill bug, and the horizons of my world pull in tighter and tighter, and then I get stuck in the vicious cycle of feeling worse because I’m so mired in the self, so unable to see past its little collection of hurts and hopes, and I don’t know. this will pass. but probably I will need a ritual to mark it, something to help me draw lines around it so I don’t have to carry it and carry it and carry it and carry it. so I can put it down.

#personal #IUI tag

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typicalopposite · 4 months

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2023 Fanfic Wrapped

Thank you @onthewaytosomewhere for the tag! :)

Sooo this year has been a wild ride fandomly for me... to say the least.

(we're gonna go ahead and add a cut cause she's gonna get long)

It started with a few prompt fics in January

Feel The Rain On Your Skin Destiel(SPN)663 words Tumblr Prompt Game “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm, and you want to stop and feel the rain?” overtime - Steddie(Stranger Things)1305 words Fic prompt game “we’re you ever going to tell me?”

I worked on some WIPs I wont include because they were started in 2022 through February . Then in March I started three new fics (because I am insane) that are all still on going WIPs as well, but the first two that I share were left on a good stopping point; so you're not left with that bitterness once you see they haven't been updated in a long time. The last one... we won't talk about her(I swear it's not abandoned I just have been hyperfixated elsewhere and life has been messy)

It Takes Two - Starsky & Hutch 8746 words Nothing more than a box that had fallen over. He laughed at himself and relaxed for a brief moment — since at least there was no rat — but it was short-lived as he turned the box to reveal the writing on the side. Give to Dave It was written in big red letters in Terry’s handwriting; Starsky felt like he might be sick. Her parents had brought it after… said it was in her apartment. He didn’t even know about it, and he had not yet found the strength to open it. So it was hidden away in his closet where he could forget about it, and he had. Go figure, he thought. Interdit - Portamis(The Three Musketeers)8241 words It happens while Aramis is hunched over Porthos, stitching — or rather trying to stitch, as Porthos repeatedly flails and hisses and snatches away from Aramis’ needle — the slash across his left eye. just a little while - Gallavich(Shameless)12,725 words Mickey will be a shit dad. He will. He knows he will. It’s fucking encoded in his DNA… or some shit. Except, how come every time he’s stuck with one the Gallagher kids, it feels like the exact opposite…

Which brings us to August, when everything changed... drastically. I was introduced to RWRB and although I started getting ideas for fics and even started writing one I still haven't finished prior to seeing the movie, just a few days after it released I went on a spiral of writing i have NEVER gone on before... and it doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

August - December every fic I wrote has been FirstPrince

August

Zahra Deserves A Raise 5091 words or Five times Zahra has to put up with Alex and Henry's shit... and definitely didn't get paid enough for it... plus one time she was happy to. A Summer Scandal 6123 words It’s next summer and they made it back to the lake house… but let’s make it angstier than last time. :) we're gonna need some pizza 1017 words Missing scene from when Alex comes out to Ellen. or What happens between Ellen ordering the pizza and her asking Alex what he identifies as. Home 2675 words Just my take on Movie Henry getting into the brownstone :)

September

Sometimes 2638 words Alex helps Henry through a difficult time regarding his father. what's not to like 1096 words It’s been four days since Oscar looked at his son and said, “Sometimes you just gotta jump… and hope you’re not standing on a cliff.” Or... Missing scenes after Henry leaves from Oscar’s POV What If 5817 words Alex called all day, everyday, for a week after Henry left the lake house. Each time Henry wished it would be the last; that Alex would take the hint, and let it go. Each time there was another call. Until there wasn’t. or... What if Alex never stormed the castle to win Henry back?! tell me more, tell me more 2981 words What are best friends for if not to go gush about the person you are secretly in love with after each (totally not but totally IS) date. or... The missing scenes of Nora and Percy finding out the story behind each time Alex and Henry get together. The Royal American Wedding Planner 9371 words It’s going to be the wedding of the century! But more importantly it’s going to be the wedding of their dreams. Zahra is going to make sure of it. ORRR 5 weeks of problems with the FirstPrince wedding and 1 perfect day!

October

Three Days 29,542 words He looks down at Henry’s body, steps closer. He’s right beside the bed and lays a hand on the top of Henry’s head. “Say you could go back three days; back to before all the missed plans, before all of the arguments, before the promotion… before the accident. Would you?” “Of course I would…” ooorrr I decided to write an angsty little Christmas fic in October based off an equally angsty movie I use to love back in the day one thousand four hundred and sixty four hours 926 words Alex has always made a habit of obsessively remembering certain days. Important days, of course. Ones that leave a special mark on his memory. Ones that he never wants to forget. eight legged freaks 895 words henry pulls a prank on alex based on a picture of a spider earring i saw on facebook cake-gate, baby gates, and a mess Henry could have avoided 1655 words Henry and Alex agree on a lot when it comes to parenting. They also disagree on a lot; that's just par the course with parenting, though… right? One thing they both sway on the fence about is baby restraints… or whatever the technical terms for them are. and so the story goes 2068 words Henry suggested Alex try his routine on the days he would have been putting her to sleep, to keep her nights as close to normal as possible. But Alex’s eyes went crossed trying to understand which concoctions (and the correct amounts) Henry uses for bath time. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sit still long enough to brush through her hair more than just the amount of times it took to detangle it. Most importantly though, he absolutely sucks at bedtime stories… which have always been her favorite part of Henry’s routine. let me hear you SCREAM 2789 words Then Henry looks up from his writing desk, through the front window of the Brownstone, and sees a ghost face mask staring back at him from across the street. He certainly didn’t expect Alex’s idea of getting him back to involve… well that. The cloaked figure doesn’t move, save for a slow rise of his hand to give Henry a slight wave. It’s extremely creepy and Henry has to push back from his desk and get away from the window.

November

proud to be yours 4086 words “Made me very proud to be your boyfriend,” Henry had said. And Alex replied; “I’m always proud to be your boyfriend.” Henry made his little snide upperclass joke and Alex grinned and laughed as if he had just heard the most hilarious thing in the world. Then the moment was interrupted and quickly forgotten as they readied themselves to meet with the King. And it probably should have been the end of the topic — for Alex, perhaps it truly was. But for Henry, who tends to overthink things for the worse, he just can’t forget about it. or... Five times Alex was introduced as Henry's boyfriend, and one time he was introduced as his husband. ten seconds 'til 3544 words Five New Years showing the reasons that brought Henry to hate the holiday… and the one that changes his mind so says social media 606 words Alex shrugs and turns his phone off, sliding it into his pocket to resume watching TV. “Who knows, people just love to stir up drama.” Or... I have watched people micro analyze TZP and (especially) NG on social media so much I wrote a FirstPrince fic about it.

December (I have only posted one this month, because I was feeling the pressure of giving myself a timeline on a fic, and also joining the gift exchange... that being said I am going to add the gift fic to this list on the first.)

i saw papa kissing santa claus 3483 words “O- Oh, hello there young lady,” Henry says, swapping back to the deep American accent he’s been using as Santa, and Alex looks past him. There is a little girl storming towards the cottage; their little girl.

There you have it! My insane list of fics I've published in 2023, totalling up to 118,000+ words!

I honestly don't know anyone to tag who hasn't probably already been tagged, so I will leave it open to anyone who wants to join it! It's really fun to go back and actually see what you have accomplished in a year. Here's to 2024! :)

#fanfic wrapped #my writing #fanfic writer #spn fic #destiel fic #steddie fic #starsky and hutch #the musketeers #portamis #gallavich fic #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #rwrb fic #firstprince fic #this year has been a lot #but i hope yall enjoy these

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vessels-for-good-intent · 8 months

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Happy Birthday, Old Sport! (and other September 18th-related shenanigans)

Tags: Nick Carraway/Jay Gatsby, Nick Carraway, Jay Gatsby, Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Post-Canon, Fix-It, Jay Gatsby Wears Glasses, and nick is here for it, Jay Gatsby Lives, the picture of dorian gray - Freeform, it was nick’s birthday present to jay, Swimming, Swimming Pools, Humidity, First Kiss, Kissing, Domestic Fluff, Pet Names, Internalized Homophobia, Writing, Literal Sleeping Together, y’all they are so sweet

Summary: Nick Carraway’s Birthday, a year after the end of TGG

Notes: Nick’s birthday is not known canonically—thanks Fitz for not using a calendar, but a Monday around the end of summer 1922 is September 18th. If based on the weather reports, Nick’s birthday would have been August 17th. I choose to put Nick’s birthday in September for my own reasons (as the Gatsbin server knows) but have a silly guy calling another man gorgeous.

story is under the cut (4145 words)

Another year. Thirty-one, still a bondsman in West Egg, in a small cottage next to my only friend’s mansion.

Tuesday, September 18, 1923, a day that was turning out to be just as hot—if not hotter—than the previous year’s. However, our tempers were in great contrast to the heat, unlike 1922. The New York Tribune had stated it was likely to be in the high 90s, with humidity of around 60%.

My cousin and her husband were long gone by now, and Jordan had traveled to some golf tournament or another. Our quintet was only a duo now. I prefer it, and I believe Jay does too. Instead of trekking into the city again, I decided I would ask Jay if I could use his pool, and so I called him up. “It’s Nick,” I said, hoping that it was Jay on the other end of the line, not someone paid to take his calls.

“Happy Birthday, Nick!” were the first excited words, confirming it had been Jay. He continued, “Old sport, I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere with me today? To celebrate your birthday?”

I laughed, feeling suddenly awkward. It went against all I’d learned, to invite myself somewhere. But Jay was a lonely man, and I hoped he’d appreciate the company.

“What is it, old sport? Don’t tell me you have work?”

“Actually, Jay, I was wondering if you’d drained the pool yet? It looks to be a scorcher.”

“It’s a splendid idea, old sport! And the pool’s not been drained yet, so you’re in luck!”

“All right, then. What time should I come over?”

“Any time that suits you best,” he said, which I had expected. He was like that, unfailingly polite.

“I’ve invited myself over, you should decide the time.”

He chuckled over the line, warm and bright and reminding me of sunlight. “Look here, Nick, you could come over right now and I wouldn’t say a word in complaint.”

“I’m serious, Jay, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You won’t be,�� he insisted. “Come over, old sport. We can talk until the heat gets the best of us. Then we’ll swim, all right?”

“If you’re sure, Jay.”

“I am, Nick. See you in a few.”

I gathered my things up after he hung up the call. My bathing suit. A book, in case our conversations grew pointless before the heat. As I did, I thought about the year before. Staying for breakfast. Almost leaving before demanding Jay—who I had still considered as Gatsby then—come to the city with me. Coming home to find two dead men in his yard—the gardener who had been draining the pool had been mistaken for Jay, and George Wilson, the cuckolded husband of Myrtle.

The week we had spent, tucked away in my house while the police searched for a motive, had been one of the best and worst weeks of my life. It had finally hit upon me that I was attracted to Jay. And so I was stuck in a glorified box with only him for company. It had been almost too much at that time. Looking back on it now, it wasn't enough.

My things don’t take long to gather, and I put them in a small bag for safekeeping, walking over to Jay’s around 10:30. It’s only 78° out, according to the thermometer placed on my porch. Compared to coming home last night (around 90°), it’s positively cold.

—————

When I knock on the door, it opens to Jay’s butler.

“Mr. Gatsby is in the library, sir.”

“Thank you,” I nod to him.

As I head to the library, I wonder what Jay is doing there. We had—well, I had discovered four months ago the reason for the uncut pages–Jay doesn’t have 20/20 vision. “Up close,” he had said, “everything is blurry. Far away is fine.” I had felt a little guilty—I had just given Jay a book for his birthday—The Picture of Dorian Gray—and Jay couldn’t enjoy it!

Jay had apparently seen the look of panicked guilt crossing my face, for the next words out of his mouth were, “All right, old sport, it’s as good a reason as any to finally get myself glasses. I’m not offended by it. You didn’t know, Nick,” and I found myself nearly in tears with his easy sincerity.

By this point I had arrived at the library, so I knock on the door.

“Come in, Nick! And happy birthday!” Jay calls.

I entered the room, finding Jay by the dark blond hair peeking over an armchair. His head is down and he’s holding a book in his hands. It’s open.

“Jay?” I ask.

His head whips around, and I see the edge of frames on his face, as well as the slight upward tilt of his lips.

“Hello, old sport! It’s good to see you.” Jay lays back in his chair, tilting his neck up to look at me—glasses. Holy shit. His glasses.

Whether it was done purposefully or not, they take me by surprise. I can see Jay’s face perfectly from where he’s standing.

He’s gorgeous. Well, he’s gorgeous already, but the way the frames enhance his features in a way I can’t describe. His hair, fluffy without its typical gel, only helps.

Jay sits up suddenly, pushing himself eagerly out of his chair. I watch as he stretches, wincing at the cracking noises.

“Sorry, old sport. I know you don’t like that noise.”

“That’s okay. You sounded pretty stiff—how long have you been sitting there?”

“Well, old sport,” Jay says, taking the cheaters off his face and waving them at me, “These came this morning. I remembered your gift and have been reading it since.”

“How do you like it, Jay?”

He thought a little, and then answered, “It doesn’t make much sense to me yet. But I believe it will as the book goes on.”

“What scene are you at now?” I asked curiously.

Jay grabbed the light green book I remembered from a few months ago, opening it to a bookmarked page. “Found it!” he mumbled. “Dorian has just wished for his own eternal youth and mourned that the painting will never change.”

“I’ve caught you at a dramatic part, then. If you’d like, I’d be happy to let you read.” I sincerely hoped otherwise, but I’d let Jay read, even as much as I’d like to talk with him.

“Nonsense, old sport, it’s your birthday! I can tell you what’s gone on in my life since your last visit,” he paused, “Unless you’d like to read, Nick? It’s your birthday after all. What would you like to do?”

“Let’s talk, Jay. How do you like reading now?”

He laughed, smiling, from where he now sat on the arm of his chair. “Well, old sport, you knew I liked to read before my sight gave, and I simply didn’t have time to get fitted. Did you know they’re—magnifiers especially—called cheaters? I think it’s because of the fact that it’s not my natural vision, but rather a correction to it.”

Jay was rambling at this point, but it’s always nice to listen to—especially now that it’s not about my cousin. “You felt guilty about giving me that book, right Nick? Well, I’m glad you did. I can read what I want again.”

“I’m glad, Jay. They make your eyes stand out.” The last bit had slipped out, but I appreciatively watched Jay’s face flush. Awkwardly checking the time, I found it was 11:15. We had spent a long time talking.

Jay interrupted my thoughts to offer lunch.

“That’d be great, Jay. Do you have anything cold?”

“How do you feel about macaroni salad, old sport?”

“All right,” I agreed. Blueberries?

We went downstairs shortly after, realizing the walls were becoming damp with humidity, and the library uncomfortably hot.

Jay groaned. “I should have closed the windows. It’s going to be miserable in here.”

“Do it now,” I suggested.

“Come with me, then.”

As we trudged up the stairs to the highest level of his mansion (eight, with this tower), we both began to breathe heavily, a combination of over exertion and the heat.

At one point, we paused at the top of the stairs, and Jay leaned—and then slid heavily down the wall.

“Every year,” he grumbles, “I forget how damned hot New York can be.”

“I—yeah,” I break off awkwardly, realizing I had been about to make some comment about the previous year’s events. “Anyway, the hottest day of the year has been my birthday for two years. It’s never been this bad this late in Minnesota.”

We drift up the next stairwell, both of us lost in thought.

“I’m sorry, old sport,” says Jay, suddenly. “This probably wasn’t how you wanted to spend your birthday.”

“Jay,” I tell him, smiling and pausing til he looks at me, “I don’t mind. I like having your company, you know.”

I watched as the words registered and he blushed. Then he cursed. I spun around in surprise, only to find him holding the cheaters away from his face. He’s gorgeous, with or without.

“What happened?” I ask, curiously.

“It got—so humid—that my glasses fogged!” he pants.

Curiously, I feel the wall, face twitching in disgust as my hand comes away damp.

“That’s disgusting. Please, let’s close these windows.”

Jay laughs, sudden, bright, unexpected. “Or I could have someone else do it and we can go eat lunch.”

“We just got up here,” I protest, half hearted. “But sure, let’s do that. I don’t even know how many windows there are in this place.”

“Do you want me to count?” Jay jokes, and I smiled. He’s gorgeous, even in his heat-flushed state. I was no match for him, dark hair hanging lank over my forehead, my torso impossibly sweaty. We hadn’t even made it outside yet, and the air felt like you could grab a handful of it.

“You’re not wrong about the humidity,” Jay’s voice broke through my thoughts, “But you look more than fine, Nick.”

I realized belatedly I’d spoken aloud. “Christ, Jay, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he insists. “Let’s go have some lunch.”

The walk back down is easier, although Jay nearly slips down a few stairs.

“What else did you have made for lunch, Jay?” I ask, curious.

“I had some fruit brought—strawberries and all that.”

“Blueberries?” I ask. “If you got blueberries—God, Jay, I’ll—“ I stop there, certain I would embarrass myself if I continued. “I’ll be very happy,” I finish lamely.

To my surprise, Jay was blushing at my elbow, smiling. “Yes, old sport, I do know of your love for blueberries. Don’t worry.”

Lunch was then served. We ate quickly with little conversation other than the weather and our now joint wish to swim. Jay thanked me for pushing him to read again, saying, “I had forgotten how relaxing it is. It’s quite nice to disappear into a book for an hour.”

I smile. “That’s why I like it. Although it usually occupies me for longer than an hour.”

“Have you written anything lately, Nick? I know you used to.”

“I miss it, but no, Jay, I haven’t recently. Today’s my first day off since the Fourth of July.”

“I’ll have to take you on more breaks, then,” Jay mutters, and I wasn’t quite sure whether he had intended for me to hear it, so I tried desperately not to react—though I could feel a blush rising on my face.

He continued, louder this time. “You’re flushed, old sport. Has the heat gotten to you?”

“A swim would be nice,” I agreed, ignoring his statement.

“Of course,” Jay said. I got the idea that he had wanted to say something different, but I said nothing. We got up from the table in an awkward silence and walked to the library—I had dropped my bag there—in the same fashion.

“Why, old sport, I haven’t even given you a birthday gift yet!” Jay exclaims.

“That’s all right, Jay,” I told him, suddenly nervous for whatever he had planned. “Perhaps after our swim?”

Jay smiles in agreement, leading me to a room near his. “Change here, and I’ll meet you shortly.”

When I enter the room, the first thing I notice is the mirror. Or rather, what the mirror shows: my hair, waves tighter by way of the humidity, and flyaways nearly tripled. Glancing around for a hair brush, I sigh when there’s not immediately one in view. Something to ask Jay for then—Jay didn’t say anything. He had to be aware of it. Why didn’t he say anything?

Exiting the room, I find Jay already dressed and waiting. He’s absolutely gorgeous, and I find myself staring. I can’t compare, and I lock my arms around my chest in sudden discomfort.

“All right, Nick?” he asks.

“Fine. Do you have a brush I could borrow? My hair, you see,” I gesture towards it, watching his eyes flick up.

“Your hair’s great, old sport. And besides, we’re just about to swim!” I blush heavily at his first words, more so when he follows them up with a smile. His bathing suit doesn’t help matters, clinging to him like that. He’s so pretty.

“C’mon, old sport,” he cries, polished accent slipping away slowly. We walk to the pool. It’s even warmer and more humid outside, and I watch as Jay immediately jumps in, graceful. I find my eyes catching on the gentle lines of his body.

“Well,” I call, “How is it?”

“‘S nice! C’mon, jump in!”

“I don’t want to accidentally hit you, Jay.” He pouts, then flips to a backstroke, away from the pool’s edge.

“How ‘bout now, old sport?” his tone teasing. I laugh, sitting at the lip of the pool, water cool on my legs. Jay frowns. “Don’t tell me you aren’t jumping in, Nick?”

“I’d rather not, Jay. I prefer to get used to the water, rather than all at once.” Then he smiles, and I am again struck silent by the beauty of it.

“I’d just take the chance. Especially with weather like this.” He swims over suddenly, grabbing hold of my hands. “C’mon, old sport. Give it a chance,” and with that I let myself be pulled into the water.

“Oh!” I exclaim once I break the surface—Jay, in his excitement, had pulled me under as well as in.

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“It’s just fine, Jay. Nice and cool,” I assure him.

Apparently realizing that our conversation had drug to a halt, Jay smiled, a teasing glimmer in his eyes. “So, old sport. Your birthday gift.”

“What is it?” I demand, a little excited. Last year, I had forgotten all about it. After Jay found out, he had apologized profusely and promised a much better celebration this year.

He turns that bright smile on me, and I feel my blush come back. “A surprise.”

“Come now, Jay, tell me!”

“I don’t think I will,” he said, and disappeared under the water. He surfaces next to me, saying, “You’ll see!” and I flush at his proximity. “See, you’ll love it!”

“What do you mean, Jay?” but he only smiles.

“Come swim, Nick,” he invites.

Instead of swimming away from him, I cup my hand, driving it quickly through the water towards Jay. It hits him in the face, and I see him flash through shock before settling on hilarity.

Jay laughs, big and bright, calling out a jokingly betrayed-sounding, “Nick—” before his hand mirrors mine, and I find myself dripping with water. I retaliate, lunging through the water at him, hoping to push a large wave at his chest. It works—but I also find myself with my hands pressed against Jay’s chest.

We both blush, and I hurriedly remove my hands from my friend’s chest. “I’m sorry,” I quickly apologize.

Jay’s mouth opens and closes, once, twice, before his voice finally comes, choked and low. “Why, old sport, I’d hoped to give you your gift inside. But if you’re going to touch me like that, well. I’ll have to give it to you here.”

“Jay—“ I broke out, “I—what in hell are you planning?”

“You’ll see, sweetheart,” he almost purrs, and I shiver.

We swam without talking for a few minutes more before I became too distracted to swim and instead stood in the shallows watching Jay’s graceful turns. I should have been aware of Jay’s repetitions changing—he had swum around behind me, and latched his hands around my torso. “Jay! You—you surprised me!” I could feel the blush rising on my face.

“Really?” he teased, “And yet you paid so much attention to me.”

My blush increased tenfold, and Jay laughed, withdrawing his arms from me–he had told me later he had done this to watch my skin turn pink–but in that moment I lost my footing, and managed to steady myself—using Jay’s chest.

He gripped my arms from behind, attempting to help. “Don’t fall, old sport. Even if it is f—into me.”

I turned around to face Jay, and to my surprise I found him about as red-faced as I was. Still gorgeous, perhaps even more now. Suddenly, the last vestiges of a fear I had been trying to rid myself of over the past year left me, and I found myself grasping Jay’s hips through the thin material of his bathing suit. His head snapped up, and when he spoke it was almost too quiet to hear.

“Sw—Nick, I’m going to do something very rash if you don’t let go,” he warns.

“Do it, then,” I challenge. “I don’t mind.”

“I did warn you,” Jay breathes, before I feel his hands clasp at my neck, pulling me down to him.

Our eyes met for a split second before we were kissing for all our worth. When we separated—for air, although I thought at that second that I would not mind being kissed to death, and by Jay no less—we stayed close. “That’s—that was your birthday present, Nick. Although I’d like to kiss you again, if you’d like.”

Jay had caught his breath faster than I had, and when I did, I agreed, “I’d like that. This is the best birthday present I’ve had in years.”

“And way better than the mess you had to deal with last year, sweetheart.”

I blushed warmly at him. “Certainly,” before drawing him up again to my lips.

—————

We had gotten dressed again, though in one room this time, stealing glances and pretending at shame when caught by the other. When Jay moved to put gel in his hair, I grabbed his wrist. “You didn’t earlier, and your hair’s great, Jay,” I parroted back to him the words I had heard an hour or so previous.

“All right, Nick. I won’t. But you shouldn’t either,” he said, smiling at me.

“Fine,” I agreed, gazing at that brilliant smile, before remembering I was able to kiss him now. I moved to do so.

“Hi,” Jay said when I stopped.

I smile, warm from the heat but also the comforting feeling of being cared for. “Like your smile, it’s gorgeous—you’re gorgeous, Jay Gatsby.”

“You’re the gorgeous one in my opinion,” Jay said. “Your hair is soft, your eyes are such a pretty hazel, and your face is perfect.” He reached for my face, carefully trailing his fingers over my eyebrows and down my cheeks.

“No, no. It’s you who’s gorgeous, Jay. Your hair and your eyes fit together so perfectly—dark blond hair and deep blue eyes. I find myself lost in your eyes so often, Jay, you wouldn’t believe it. Don’t get me started on how pretty your lips are, I won’t stop talking for hours.”

“I’d let you,” Jay assured me. “But I’d kiss you every time you paused.”

We found ourselves in the library again, Jay’s glasses gloriously returned to his face, The Picture of Dorian Gray open in his hands. I had pulled my book out of the bag I had brought, but found myself staring at Jay more than reading. He was exquisite in every situation, a lip quirked as he read about Dorian’s misadventures in late 19th century London.

He glanced up. “You’re staring, sweetheart.”

“In my defense, you’re very pretty,” and I watched in satisfaction as he flushed pink.

“If you’re not going to read, come sit with me,” Jay said, and I slid over, putting an arm around his shoulders and leaning in to read. Reading the page he was on, I found Lord Henry talking to his uncle about who Dorian Gray was, before Jay turned his head and pecked my cheek.

“Sometimes I wonder if you had a motive for getting me this book.”

“Oh?” It was true, of course. The Picture of Dorian Gray had been a favorite of mine, especially after finding out certain details about Mr. Wilde.

“Yes,” Jay said, “I think you did. You see, Lord Henry and Basil both think that Dorian is very good looking. Did Wilde intend it to come across like this?”

“He did. But it caused him a lot of trouble, seeing where he ended up.”

“What happened to him, Nick?” Jay asked, curious.

“Mr. Wilde was placed on trial, because the book contained references to people like us. He was convicted, spent some time in an English prison, moved to France, and died a short while later.”

“Was he like us?”

I nod, “He was. The man stopped communicating with him after the allegations were formed, and he went on to marry.”

Jay leaned into me, his cheek on my shoulder, and said, “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for Mr. Wilde. I wouldn’t leave you, Nick. Ever. “

“It won’t come to that, Jay. We’re careful men.”

“Yes,” Jay agreed, and said no more.

“Actually, Jay, could I have some paper?” He beamed, kissed me, and walked over to a drawer.

“You going to write, sweetheart?”

“I got inspired,” I told him simply, quirking an eyebrow.

He played along. “By who? Do tell, Nick?”

I laughed and walked over to him, grabbing his hand to kiss it. “You, Jay.”

“You’re sweet,” he said, handing me a few sheets of paper and a pencil.

“Thank you,” I said, and led him back to the couch. This time, he lay down with his head on my chest. Not the most comfortable position for him to read—or me to write, but it was Jay. Jay, my darling, handsome man.

He fell asleep soon after, and I carefully reached for his glasses and book, marking his place. The cheaters went on the table next to me, and under them I placed the sheets of paper, which had ended up as just a ramble about Jay’s attributes.

I lost myself to sleep, hand curled around his chest. Jay had given me the only thing I needed.

#jay gatsby #nick carraway #the great gatsby #natsby #one shot #my writing #nick an jay

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chemicalpink · 7 months

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ଘ(´•×•)⊃━☆ a (not so brief) life update

In case you've been wondering where I've been cause by now we all know I tend to just disappear.

A few days ago I felt like oversharing a bit for anyone interested, I feel like getting to this point of sharing is due and will allow me to stop this irrational fear of the internet that I have somehow developed as it tallies to my accountability on this blog.

So hang tight! Cause this is about to be a wild ride...

I'm not regressing to the very beginning cause this isn't about to be a therapy session but I will go back to the near beginnings of this account during the pandemic.

A little before lockdown as I was asked to collaborate as a customs specialist for a pop-up store (which then I found out to be BTS') so I got into them after my job was done. A bit after going down the rabbit hole I started this blog, without very much planning into it, just merely creating a safe space for the people with whom could potentially like the same things I did.

A few months into it, as a last year International Relations student on my way to law school, and with a bit of sleep deprived courage, I applied for an internship at BH online, not expecting much since I barely knew Korean and was most definitely stuck at home in a whole different continent. But things surprisingly worked out, I didn't get paid at all but it was a great learning experience. BH became HB and I got to experience that from the inside, my day went like this: school from 7am to 5 pm and work from 9pm to 3am (sometimes more)

I obviously never got to work directly with any idols, my work was merely global and very much law related. Customs, contracts, negotiations with international enterprises. When the lockdown was done with, I was asked to move and become a permanent worker of theirs, so I did. However, it involved a lot of moving around so I wasn't exactly based anywhere and living costs are quite a thing. During this time I was also profiling myself as a diplomat, so it was in all of our best interests that I became outsourced.

Which brings us to a timeline closer to the present, the person that was in charge of contacting me for the gigs that I used to do for them suddenly quit and while I'm sure they were doing whatever was best for them, left me fending for myself during may-june. I came back home with my parents during june-july and networked for a bit– at least enough to regroup my possibilities so during august-september I was allowed to staff and collaborate (on a lower level) on some big concerts/tours.

During this time however (july-september) I was mostly reliant on my parents and coincidentally, their work slowed down by a lot. The rather small amount of money I got from working here and there was spent on my medical treatment (during july my doctor let me know that I needed to get diagnosed properly for lupus and by august my treatment costs were up by a lot) I tried picking up freelance tutoring (a pain, truly) and other small hustles that didn't require me to tire myself out too much since most of my days I spent aching all over, while also caring for my mother who had to have an emergency glaucoma surgery.

Oh and I cried and felt miserable during my birthday so.

I believe that's where we are at. I can't exactly get a job since I need to apply to an unpaid internship in order to graduate law school but I can't apply for an internship because one of my teachers just suddenly decided to fail me in their class (which means I need to pass it first) so I try to get by with small, low commitment hustles and now I'm picking up more seriously my ko-fi content. Which is why, I haven't been on here.

Those damned retrogrades hit me good ngl.

I do want to say though, I am not in a state of emergency, however, I am not living comfortably, but I'm trying my best to pick myself up and be nice to myself with the decisions I make and actions I take by the minute. While also trying to save up to go visit my 17 year old sister that has just moved away to study medicine.

I am grateful for what I have and I cherish you all that have remained close to me (even in this infinite nothingness that is the internet) and I hope you've been treating yourselves kindly during this time. If you'll have me, let's navigate the rest of the year together.

If this gains a lot of traction, I'm privating it lmao. I have no issue now talking about it since I'm no longer working there but I made those NDAs myself so I know what I'm up to.

#wow look shes back #life update

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attaboylew · 3 months

Text

🎶let spotify predict your 2024!🎶

shuffle your on repeat playlist and the first twelve songs represent your 2024

thanks for the tag @catb-fics! this was fun 😁

january: she knows this - kid cudi

🎶 here we go, step in (Yeah, yeah) and we gon' tear shit up 🎶

february: gloom - djo

🎶 so goodbye

farewell

go fuck your mother

go fuck yourself 🎶

march: man’s world - marina

🎶 spring appears when the time is right

women are violets coming to light

don't underestimate the making of life

the planet has a funny way of stopping a fight 🎶

april: sky musings - wolf alice

🎶 and now i think of all the people i've cared for

did love pass me by when i had feelings i was scared of? 🎶

may: somebody good - circa waves

🎶 i wanna be somebody good 🎶

june: spinning - no rome, charli xcx and the 1975

🎶 i bet you feel the same

but you never regret a thing 🎶

july: my house - declan mckenna

🎶 ‘cause when i see you looking back over the line like that

i wanna be someone you've never seen before 🎶

august: change - djo

🎶 but every mistake i've ever made (has led me right here)

it's easier to refuse to change (year after year) 🎶

september: boys - charli xcx

🎶 head is spinnin' thinkin' 'bout boys 🎶

october: stuck in my teeth - circa waves

🎶 i swear to god I'm not the same

as i was the other week

i got you stuck in my teeth 🎶

november: werld is mine - raleigh ritchie

🎶 ready to be free of this pain and i can't wait 🎶

december: xs - rina sawayama

🎶 hey, i want it all, don't have to choose

and when the heart wants what it wants, what can i do?

so i'll take that one, that one, yeah, that one too 🎶

lol what a journey, am i ok? 🤦🏻‍♀️

no pressure tag: @rxgirlie, @floydsmuse, @attapullman, @just-in-case-iloveyou and @sailor-aviator

#tag game

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chaoticreation · 2 years

Video

@sonofawinchester
I'm disabled and on a low income. Please help me save my feathered daughter. Linktree in bio #foryou #cockatiel #help #vetbill #emergency #birddad
♬ original sound - sonofawinchester

tiktok

PLEASE READ AND MAKE THIS GO VIRAL.

I know it's a long read, but it's so important, and I am LITERALLY BEGGING YOU FOR HELP! (And including the link to the original tiktok video because apparently tumblr doesn’t want to show it: https://www.tiktok.com/@sonofawinchester/video/7139692736252349739?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1)

I have had nothing but hardships since June, and am on the brink of losing everything. Our well pump died suddenly, and I went two weeks without water, begging the local gov't to help, to no avail. Instead, I was met with ableist remarks. I was forced to turn to restaurants to eat once a day, and the nearby gas station to use the bathroom. None of which were in walking distance, which took a toll on my wallet between food and gas. Finally, we had to use the money we reserved for this year's taxes to pay for the replacement pump. While we now have water, we can't afford the taxes. That means we can lose our home. Taxes are due in October and December. September's already halfway through, and combined, they're over $5,500.

In July, my feathered son, Tazmania, got sick. I took him to vets, and he seemed to be recovering with some antibiotic injections. I had to postpone his follow-up appointment due to fraudulent charges on my credit card totaling over $300, which not only maxed it out, but also meant a freeze on it. But he seemed to be doing better, so I didn't think a week would hurt. Until it did. Just 2 days before the rescheduled follow-up, he presented as extremely ill.

August 3rd, he was real bad. But no avian vets had availability, and he wasn't stable enough for the 2 and a half hour drive to ER vets. So we stuck it out. I stayed up with him all night, and he fought hard to stay with me. August 4th, the local vets stabilized him for transport, and we went to ER vets. He was hospitalized and stabilized, tests were run, and he was eating again, though he was still too weak to be his chatty self. He was discharged on August 6th, with nearly $1,800 in vet bills on my care credit, which had a limit of $2,200.

The first charge made to my newly replaced credit card was a cremation fee of over $200. (If you don't have anything nice to say, bite your tongue off, lest this happens to you. This boy means more to me than your useless opinions, and I'm tired of having to justify this charge. My other option was to keep him in the freezer until further notice, and avoid food because seeing him in there killed my appetite. So the other option was death by starvation.) The house is too quiet without his singing, and I feel empty, but I'm still fighting for Syd.

To be safe, I took his sister, Sydney, for a checkup on August 9th. The vets gave her a clean bill of health, but as soon as we got home, she acted like she was regurgitating. Rather than be helpful, this local vet refused to run tests, that are much cheaper for them to run than an ER vet to run. A few weeks later, Syd started presenting as ill as well, so I sought help from other local vets. This, in turn, has maxed out my care credit limit. That's right, we're past the $2,200 now!

Furthermore, I found out recently from my mom, that we owe the fuel company $900 for propane. If we don't pay this, we will not get a refuel, even if we have HEAP credits. You know what that means? No heat or hot water. My mom's still in a nursing home, and there's no telling if or when she's coming home. She's in 4th stage kidney disease. Thankfully, no heat or hot water won't affect her, but it WILL affect Syd and I (if, in fact, Syd survives.) The cold will kill her, and as someone suffering with Raynaud's, the cold is excruciating for me, in just the matter of seconds. Yes, seconds. Holding a cold drink for less than a minute brings tears to my eyes. No, there's no cure, and gloves only go so far. Within minutes, with gloves on, it's unbearable. Washing in ice cold water? It would feel like frostbite, and could take me a long time just to get feeling back to my fingers once I'm done washing.

At this current point (9/15/2022) Syd has a follow-up with her vet tomorrow. I don't have money for further testing, and care credit is maxed, so I can't even charge it to that. This means I have to refuse further testing if she needs it, which she most likely will, since tests have come back inconclusive. Can I afford $14 for another antibiotic injection? If I starve myself, yes. So I will allow myself to go hypoglycemic in order to give her her medicine. But I won't be much use to her, or anyone. I've been sacrificing myself for years. She's my daughter and she's worth it. I haven't eaten in days already. At this point, I'm lucky if I eat once a week, and it's not even a full meal because I simply no longer have strength or energy to cook, which doctors love to write off or plain out ignore.

Syd's 11th birthday is September 18th, while Taz will forever be 10 years old. I can't even give her healthcare for her birthday, and it's killing me.

So now that I've explained what's been going on, let me explain something else. I am disabled. Permanently. (I'm currently in the process of fighting to keep my SSI, which is another long story.) I was disabled before I ever stood a chance, so I didn't "earn" the "rights" that you get with SSDI. So what this means is that I make less than $900 a month. In NYS, minimum wage is $15/hr. That means the average full-time worker earns $2,400 a month before taxes. Before this, minimum wage was $7.25/hr, leaving the average full-time worker with $1,1600 a month before taxes. Think about that for five seconds. If you're disabled, you get less than what minimum wage was in **2009**. In fact, the math adds up to roughly $5.55 an hour. You're talking income from **2005.** It's 2022! You're talking less than $900 a month in a state where rents start at $1,500, and gas costs about $70 per fill-up. Where car insurance is like $300, and there's no public transit, so your only choice is to own and drive a vehicle.

I rely on commissions for these kinds of emergencies, but let's face it, I'd need a LOT more commissions than I can ever take on. My commissions ARE open, but I'm slow. I'm struggling with my own health, my mom's health, and my daughter's health. I'm mourning the loss of my son, and if I don't get some SERIOUS financial help, I'll be mourning the loss of my daughter. I have three pending commissions as it is, and that money has already gone to gas or food.

I am losing all hope in any chance of survival for either of us. I can't pay these debts. I can't afford food. I can't afford vet bills for Syd. I can't afford fuel for heat or hot water. I can't afford taxes and can end up homeless. I haven't had time to look after my own health. Not only am I being punished for being disabled, but my daughter is, too. I lose sleep over this. Every moment I'm not distracted, I spend crying. I'm crying right now. It feels like all I do anymore is cry.

Please restore some hope. Please donate if you have the means. But no matter what, PLEASE MAKE THIS VIRAL! Look at this sweet little girl! Don't let her light go out like her brother's!

Here's a link to the gofundme I made in June to replace the well pump. It clearly hasn't worked out, but I don't have the energy to start ANOTHER one. So just... donate to this one, and help Syd and I survive. Especially Syd. I don't even give a shit about me anymore. I just don't want my baby girl to die.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-disabled-mother-and-son-avoid-homelessness

#signal boost #emergency #cockatiels #birds #birddad #gofundme #vetbills #disabled #disabled artist #lgbtq #lgbtq artist #queer artist #non-binary artist #hopeless

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duskforged · 3 months

Text

State of the Author: January 2024

Normally, I wouldn't do a thing like this. However, because I have not actually updated y'all on my WIPs in a while, I thought I might as well!

We'll start with the thing most of you followed me for: long-form fiction. And I call it that since all of these will be over 15k words (hopefully). There are three novels I'm currently focusing on.

LONG-FORM FICTION

Lodestar is currently stuck in a worldbuilding spiral, since it's a near-future humanity in space. While I do love sci-fi, science and math are not especially my forte. I hope to start drafting by the end of the summer, around September.

Vespertine has started on the first draft, though I'm also outlining still - something of a combined process. I am excited to share more of it with you, though it may be tough since most of it still lives in my head. Such is the woe of the artist.

Unto Summer Kings is in the first draft and currently hovering around 15k words! So far it's the longest I've gotten on a novel, and if I stay on track I could start my second draft by May, and begin beta reading by August.

LONG-FORM FANFICTION

I hesitate a little to touch on this one, just because. However, for the pure self indulgence I will. I have three major fanfics currently posted on my AO3, all of them multichaptered.

The Hanged Man is a Naruto SI!OC as Hatake Sakumo, immediately before his death. I currently have 8 chapters out and the main beats of the fic are fully outlined as of this month, which marks a major turning point in the fic's planning.

The Ever-Growing Gloaming is another self insert, this time into the events of Baldur's Gate 3. Vespere, the main character, whose name is subject to change, has been plucked from August 2023 and has not played the game since early access March 2023. Therefore they know less than you might expect.

Finally I have my Supernatural series, For Want of a Broken Nail (Broken Nail Verse). And I know what you're going to say, it's super meta to have a self insert in that fandom, you're writing SPN fanfic in 2024 what is wrong with you, etc etc. But the concept seized me full on by the balls and I already have the first 5 seasons outlined. Sorry, not sorry? No one is obligated to read it anyhow.

I also have a billion ideas on the backburner, ranging from fandoms like Game of Thrones and the MCU (for some reason) to Avatar: the Last Airbender and Star Wars. I'll post 'em when I post 'em!

ART PROJECTS

Wolf in Shepherd's Clothing is a comic of humanity's first lycanthrope, taking place in ancient Mesopotamia, in what is modern day Iran. The main character, Lahar, is gender neutral/ambiguous. So far, I'm stuck in outlining and drafting but hopefully soonTM.

Witchboy (title wip) is a story I'm working on with my partner @fallenorpheus based on various YA novels we read growing up. So far we aren't super set on the story, but it's definitely about a boy who is (accidentally) a witch, his best friend, his adoring father, and his estranged mother.

Dame-Errant (title wip) is a story that, instead of in comic form, is a story that is illustration snapshots, accompanied by short story prose. It is about a butch knight, Dame Johana Talon, who is tasked by Queen Atossa to find her missing son, Prince Khosrow. Typical 'prince(ss) in the tower shenanigans' but then, politics. And boy does Jo hate politics.

I have other webcomic ideas (mtf vs bbeg accidentally breaking a prophecy, team of bipoc/minority characters getting thrown into a fantasy world for an adventure, etc) so feel free to ask.

PERSONAL

I hesitate to touch on this, really, since it's not something that just anyone needs to know, but I've been struggling to find a good name for myself. Hesperos is a good name, but doesn't necessarily feel like 'me' these days. I do enjoy the h/e sounds... I've considered Ezra, but that's just the name of an OC and I'd rather not get quite that meta.

Ah well, sure it'll sort itself out eventually.

THE END

Anyway, thanks for reading! I know that's quite a lot for this one post to cover, but you stuck til the very end. Not sure when I'll start posting again in earnest but I hope sooner rather than later!

#dusk in progress #progress update #writeblr

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awrldalone · 8 months

Text

4th September 2023

Today I finished moving into my new apartment. It took a few days, but now I think I have finally settled. A lot has happened in the months since my previous entry, almost a whole year has passed – I stopped writing because everything felt so repetitive, and constantly talking about it made me feel stuck in this murky whirlpool of cold days and aimless studying. I was drowning in myself, repeating the same words, complaining about the same problems. Endlessly.

I felt like a stick of wood stuck in the river current, an abandoned lighthouse in the storm.

Typing does not come as easy now. Documenting everything paralyzes me. Part of me feels betrayed: how dare I write about what I did today when there is no record of yesterday, of the months from February to August? I dare.

I visited a Musée Cernuschi today. It is an impressive collection of Asian art, mainly from China and Japan and Vietnam, collected by one of those nineteenth century rich French men. The sheer size of some of the sculptures stunned me. An extremely detailed bronze dragon, which was an incense burner, a winding tiger covered in some golden metal and an enormous statue of buddha got all of my attention, but the pottery was also, simply, pretty. Mundane things have a right to be pieces of art – in an ideal world a small bowl should be no less beautiful than Botticelli's Madonna della Melagrana. For this reason I have been struggling to buy things, stuff for my apartment.

It's a small room at the sixth floor of a beautiful old building, no elevator. I can see the roofs of Paris from my window. I am living in Paris now and it feels... odd. Some might say it feels like a dream, but everything feels so real, material, concrete. It's not perfect, and i know that living here will be hard, but it's better.

Moving has not gone smoothly, I had to take care of a lot of things, like signing an electricity contract and changing the washing machine and cleaning for hours, but now I'm here, on my bed, listening to music from my phone and trying not to use up all my internet data before I get WIFI installed.

–

February I got back together with my boyfriend. Everything is still so complicated, but right after I went back to Maastricht I left, without telling anyone, not even my parents, and I flew all the way to Lyon with only a few sweaters and my history of law textbook in my bag. I spent a few days with him, and everything was perfect again.

Then, during carnival we went to the mountains together. He tried to teach me how to ski, and I failed miserably, falling in the snow countless times. His parents own a little apartment, furnished with a warm wood that makes it feel smaller than it is, but never claustrophobic. He got sick and I played doctor, but it was all just an excuse for him to skip his classes and for me to stay at his place.

In March, it was his turn to come. It was a snowy month, cold, not much happened– he stayed over for a weekend. I installed a DS emulator on his laptop and we played Pokémon instead of studying, and I started doubting everything again. I always doubt everything. I still don't know if it's meticulousness or an unnerving inability to let myself have good things. We made chocolate covered strawberries, but the chocolate was not tempered and the fruit was wet.

We saw each other about once a month. My old glasses broke as I picked them up after having washed my face. The frame split without a word or a warning, and one of the lenses fell to the ground.

Once, in April, he came to Venice as I went back home for a few days during Easter. At the end of the month I went all the way to Lyon by bus and train, stopping in Lille for a few hours. Lille is a peculiar city, it feels more Belgian than French, the only way to describe it is a city proud to have been built at the border between two countries.

After my university's MUN, in May, I took the bus again to Lille, and the train again to Lyon, because M.'s university was having an end of year party. Then, we did not see each other for a long time. I got into Sorbonne. I was waitlisted at first, and I spent a few days biting my nails at the library, among all the medicine students.

I took a train to Paris in June to look for an apartment. I spend a few weeks between Venice and Rome with a Korean friend of mine. I travelled through central Italy – Assisi and Firenze and Siena – with some friends.

A lot happened. A lot. But if I started writing down everything I would not be faithful to time. It irks me to see that the most eventful moments have been centered around my relationship. I am my own person, and the passage of my time should not be dictated by kisses. Love cannot be my metronome. I am not sure if I am happy to be in a relationship: Ce. and I talked about this a few weeks ago, in Florence, and we both agreed that making decisions while in high waters is always a bad idea. She was also in high waters, with her mouth under the waves. I need to let things fall into place before I can understand my feelings fully. Perhaps writing about them will help clear out my head. Perhaps I can't just wait for things to sort them out by themselves, I need to keep unraveling this ball of yarn just to roll it back up.

Ago ergo sum. Our mandate is to create.

-c.

#diary

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