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#i agonised over this i wanna die idk if i even like it
joebennet · 2 years
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'Cause you know that I love you. I have loved you all along.
[image one: buck looks at eddie after his breakdown. the gif glitches to show buck leaning over eddie in the back of the firetruck, blood on his face. the text reads “on my knees i’ll ask, last chance for one last dance”.]
[image two: buck and eddie stand across from each other in the immediate aftermath of eddie getting shot. the text reads “cause with you i’d withstand”.]
[image three: buck’s hand reaches out to grab eddies on the pavement. the text reads “all of hell to hold your hand”.]
[image four: eddie and buck look at each other over eddie’s kitchen table, both looking devastated in the aftermath of eddie’s breakdown. the text reads “i’d give it all; i’d give for us”.]
[image five: buck stands in the hospital while eddie is being held hostage. his head turns as he hears a gun go off and the gif glitches, switching to a blood-drenched buck screaming for help outside the hospital after eddie’s been shot. the text reads “give anything but i won’t give up”.]
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bpdeadd · 4 years
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just wanna kms so badly now like for this to all be over, so I wouldn’t have to be so fucking sad and angry all the time about them and lash out at everyone just bc I can’t control my damn emotions like I'm trying to let myself feel stuff but if I do I go insane n all over the place, so idk maybe its best to suppress everything??? but also kms bc why tf not
also it was my fucking fault he left/ghosted I mean I don’t think he was ever interested or liked me anyway, or wanted to say around to see where it went or w/e, but prob thought I wasn’t n yh n nw I have all these feelings that I don’t know what to do w n I just want to DIE
also I don’t want to ever like anyone again - WAAAYYY too painful like is it even supposed to be agonising n shit or is it just me, bc fuck if I'm ever gon put myself through this shit again - like I already decided to have no friends bc that ruined me, this is fucking destroying me n I'll either end up alone doing nothing w my life n suffering in silence from all this shit or I'll kms n be free n not feel anything anymore, so lol - which sounds better tbh
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ruffrowdyboiz · 5 years
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in all honesty tonight has exacerbated my paranoia lmao but some people have been really kind and supportive considering so thank you (all of you who said something I mean it), like I know you’re out there and you follow me and clearly you derive a lot of joy from tormenting me every month or so, good for you I guess. I tried ignoring you (you guys?? idk how many there are like there could be a few of you (the tumblr block feature is SHIT btw)), I thought I was doing a decent job of it really, but today obviously you got to me lmao so if that was your goal you definitely achieved that. I honestly agonise over why you keep doing this to me, maybe I haven’t been the most open or clear about it but if you are deliberately coming into my inbox just to try and hurt me, I can’t understand why you’d want to do it so consistently and about this of all things. I really wanna say I don’t care why you do it and just go back to ignoring you but really it has chipped away at me inside lmao, I’m not even close to being able to cope with how low and powerless it makes me feel, I can’t begin to explain how empty and shit I feel after the fact too, so I’m gonna keep anon off indefinitely which should make you stop sending me those messages. I hope anyways. Never say never right lmao
It doesn’t do me any good to make it easy for you to taunt me anonymously, it also doesn’t do me any good to respond and tell you how much I wish you’d die and get attacked by wild animals, it's a great fantasy in the moment believe me but long term it's nothing and all I have is the memory that you got a rise out of me and I’m nowhere closer to feeling better about what happened to me. So whatever reason you do it I hope it's good enough for you, and if you find that its not then I hope you find something else to occupy your time with. Now this has become embarrassingly longer than it needs to be, really all I wanted to say is that I hope you don’t message me again or do this to anyone else. thats all
edit: WOW I was so lost in the euphoria of finding “closure” for myself in this stupid situation I forgot how racist and dehumanizing this has all been!!! do seek help for that!!! possibly from bears!!!
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mwagneto · 5 years
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1, 30 & 36
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
oh god you're braver than any us marine ok so instead of what everyone expects I'll do a detour and start with the honourable mention that is rdj sherlock, i was super depressed (and I mean like. incredibly so) after sherlock s4 because it just sucked so bad, like i was deadass in ruins and i was trying to find ANYTHING to take my mind off it and by the end of February I watched and read pretty much all Sherlock media there is except for rdj because for some reason I thought it was bad?? but then I noticed the first movie was downloaded on my laptop so I went ok fuck it and watched it on the 26th of February and HOLY SHIT I fell in love with RDJude's dynamic literally immediately their chemistry was so fucking good and the plot and the script and the setting and the music and- point is I fucking loved it so I watched the second movie on the same day and Mother of FUCK it was somehow even better and gayer and sweet Jesus I've been obsessed with them since
NOW onto the real deal, light of my life and my reason for living....Rocketman
Jesus Christ I don't think I've ever been this hyped for a movie in my life
I saw the first trailer on November 11th but I wasn't into it at all mainly because I saw it in theaters and they played the censored version and made it look like some het movie about an imaginary person
But then I saw it trending when the second trailer came out and I scrolled through the trending tag and watched the trailer and boy I was HOOKED
And holy fuck the wait was Agonising especially since the fandom on here consisted of like. Me and 3 or 4 other people and then some ppl who didn't post but reblogged stuff - point is the fandom just. Didn't Exist
By the time carpool came out there were a bit more but still basically nothing, hell in my desperation I even looked at stan tw*tter a few times but I regretted it each time and thankfully I don't remember anything specific
But anywayS so the movie is supposed to come out on the 31st of May but for some reason they release it on the 18th in the UK and then turns out it won't come out until the 5th of June here???
I was so fucking mad my friend and I literally almost went to Wien to watch it
Worst of all, the big cinema chain that's in my city didn't even put the tickets out
And when they did they only put them out for Thursday and only the dubbed version
Which, ew, but I was like I don't care I'll take what I can get
But THEN I went into the city one Saturday and I was just riding the tram listening to the soundtrack when in passing I saw a theater that had a big ass Rocketman sign on the front
It was literally like a 0.1 second glimpse because the tram was going fast but I immediately went rabid and found it online and turns out not only were they showing Rocketman on the 5th of June, they also have the original English version
So I booked two tickets immediately and waited because I still wasn't sure the usual cinema wouldn't put their tickets out
So I stayed up every night until midnight to see if there were tickets but No
Finally they put them out on Tuesday midnight so a day before it's supposed to be released but only for Thursday so I was like ok fuck you I'm going to the other one
Oh yeah by this point I've been logged off Tumblr for weeks because i didn't want spoilers so I didn't have Any Rocketman content at all, I didn't even dare to look at YouTube videos or anything because I was scared the recommended section would spoil me
So yeah I was absolutely content deprived
Fucking FINALLY the 5th of June rolls around and we get to the theater and wait for it to start and jesus fukingn
I'm gonna be honest I literally don't even remember much because I was so high on "oh my fucking god I'm finally watching it" but holy SHIT IT WAS JUST. SO GOOD.
I do remember a few things
I know I screamed out loud when Richard first appeared during crocodile rock (even tho I knew he was gonna be there at some point but it was still so sudden I fuckin lost it)
Also I held my friend's hands during tiny dancer like my life depended on it skdnd
And I've told this story a million times but tmttp shocked the soul out of me coz I knew what it meant scene wise and I didn't think they'd play it so fuckign early skmfsk I had like a full body convulsion and drew my hands back and my calf muscle cramped so hard it hurt for a whole week afterwards
anyway I didn't cry
somehow
I thought I'd be sobbing like mad but I didn't and I still haven't
Idk for some reason I just can't cry over this even tho I SHOULD and I want to
my friend did sjsnfjd
we were fucking. spent dude I don't think I stopped smiling until I fell asleep
Anyway after she somewhat finished crying and we exchanged a few words we somehow got up from our seats and left
She had to print a few things so we walked to a photocopier and talked about the movie but it wasn't anything more coherent than just verbal keysmashes
Literally it was so smfjsjjdsjdn i felt high
I was so fucking HAPPY bro it was so fucking good and everything I expected and way more like we were over the fucking moon
I brought food coz I like to eat during movies but I didn't even dare to look away from the screen during this one
While she got her printing sorted I logged back into Tumblr and checked the tags (they were still disappointingly empty😔)
We then went to a park near the tram and ate the food I brought and talked abt the movie till it got dark at which point we headed for the train and talked there some more before she had to get off at her stop
I spent the rest of the ride smiling like an idiot listening to the soundtrack and texting her & other people
I went for a bit of a walk on the mountain I live on to clear my head but I was literally so happy and giddy I couldn't stop smiling hhh I'm losing it just thinking about all the stuff I felt
By that point I was super low and empty coz of school stuff and irl stuff so to feel so many emotions after months of feeling absolutely nothing was a LOT
Anyway I got home by...idk, late, and blasted the soundtrack on full volume for a while before booking her and myself tickets for Thursday so we could watch it again
And we did
And it was just as amazing as the first time
And then on impulse I watched it again on Friday
And then I went to watch it again on Saturday and as soon as it ended I ran to a nearby theater and watched it again immediately
Then again on Wednesday
After watching it on the 5th I lost my appetite both for food and for water, and also my need for sleep, so until I gained it back after watching it next Wednesday I basically didn't eat, drink or sleep for an entire week but it didn't take a toll on me, somehow
The Rocketman power
Anyway we watched it again on Saturday and Sunday (the girl I mentioned came with me both times then and on Saturday so did another girl)
And then I had exams, a class trip and a family vacation so I couldn't watch it for an agonizing two weeks
but then finally watched it again on the 3rd of July with another friend (a 3rd one)
And then on the 6th of July with the original girl
And then on the 7th and the 9th at home alone and them on the 12th with yet another friend (4th one)
Then I went to watch it in theaters alone again on the 18th
And then one more time with the first girl on the 24th
Then on the 3rd of August alone
And then the first girl came over on the 9th of August and we watched the deleted scenes and the extras and then the extended movie
Then I was once again busy so I couldn't watch it until the 25th
And I took my laptop to the hotel I'm staying at for two weeks rn so I watched it here on the 30th
And now here we are
Jesus fucking Christ I'm so sorry for making you read all this
This took me like an hour to type
Anyway! Peace and thanks for asking skdmsmcmsmmd
30: Talk about what turns you off.
I don't have any turnons or turnoffs tbh skdndn I'm. not about that sorta stuff
36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
sometimes I hateread awful old fanfics on Wattpad because they make me wanna die but like in a good way
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jungkookio · 7 years
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bias tag game
hoooooooo boy so i was tagged by @hoodiejungkook​ @literally-just-yoongi-trash​ @aragyeom​ to do this... y do u want me to expose myself like this
Rules: write down the last 15 associated tags with your bias.  
yoongs:
#take his belt and choke me with it
#not to be nsfw buti have an undying need to fucking hug this man 
#when wiwllhe start capitalising on his sweat as a highlight tbh #i wna tthtta glowhgngnnfngngnghhggghhg #why is my grandpa man so hot ti rlly wanan dfckkin d8 him
#omfg fuck off #look at him hes a dumpling #a soot ball #he owns the key to m heart #honestly im rlly soft over my boys tonight #im cryign in th club
#im sorry but he looks like that sailor moon 'but you didnt do anything' meme #but like hot
#im... rlly out here loving this loser i cannot believe myself #i fell in love with some grandpa infant hybrid #look at this pingu lookin ass god i love him so much
#who let this emo kid out the house #wheres his mum
#c hoke #what the fuck wjat the fuck #when will he fucking spit on me #whatthehfuxuckgoddddddddddddddd he #what the fuck i swear everyone wants me to roll into a coma and fucking die #i hope ifkckng choke seriously what thejfuck is thsi #what is his problem why is he like this
#thsi is the begsat theing to evr hapoenr yi me shsudjrnshjsjrbndkansb pleaese
#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god you own my fucking heart #u cld own my kidney too if u ever need it just ask
#i want him to tuck him in n kiss his forehead but i also want him to spit in my mouth u feel? #probably not #kinkshame me
#okay... he gettin thicker #i love my man's pancake ass okay #im eatin well tonight !!/1!!1/! #nourished !! #acvdhdjsjbdbsjsj hav i evr mntiond i hte mslf
#i love him so much ohmygod  #!! fuck !! #m heart went nyooooooooooooom  #💟💖💗💕💓💝💟💓💕💖💞💗💟💖💕💞💓💝💟💕💞💓💝💟💗💞💕💗💟💓💝💕💗💟💖💖💟💕💞💓💖💗
#m heart just launched outta m chest #idk wht t doabout it tbh #i... need that
#ohmygodohmyogogododdoohohoh #hooh my fuckicjg n god #im fucking malfunctioning btixch #bwaht the fuck he looks so fucking goood #hes rlly rpepin the gays again inhis flannel #an icon #he looks like a billion fckng dollars bitxchm im rlly choking #im gna eat a fucking shoe i love him so mcuh #godthey rlly mad ehim blond again #i dk what to domblond yoongs has always been m favourtei #n im alwaysh fucking screaming about it and bitch x hes rlly blodn n im rlly crying because fuck #hhes in his fckckng prime okay #hes th mc of m heartmcnncnnnnnggggggggggggggjhsbdhjbfhbnj
jungkook:
#i wanna punch him in th face #but with lovecause i love him so much  #i cld never hurt him #honestly i'd much rather him sucker punch me in the jaw #look at him he's such a shit but he's my favourite #eugghhdghhdhhhhjjhhjhj 
#he cld crush a bitxch with those thighs #(its me) #(im the bitxch) #(please crush me)
#fucking b e a n me #rightin th fckn skull #just straight up fucking murder me #what kinda zoom #its all so shiny #hes fckng gleaming #his shirt is fcking gleaming #meanwhile im constructing my coffin while i wait for him to b e a n me #the fuck
#biyxch his tiddies bigger than mine
#its always th lasttwo gufs that tip me over the edge #m reachign fr th mfing gun bitxch #i hate this shirt n its aphrodisiac bullshit #oyster juice #it had to have been soaked in fckng ousyetr juice #can u hear my inner turmoil sis............. this shirt has victimised me #the shirt #it strikes again
#wow look its my emo boyfriend
#ggggggggggggggno the shirt can fuck off #whoever manufactured it #you know what no it wasnt manufactured #it was hand crafted by satan himself to fucking tempt me to evil #show me a single fancam of mr jeon fucking jungkook in that shirt where he doesnt look at one with the fucking devil #find me one! #i can guarantee u wont find any bitxch #possessed #absolute blasphemy #i hope i fckign burn in hell
#the second gif is him throwing my heart out the fucking window
#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my gohd how can he be this cute while literally drnched in sweat #ion kno but hes gleaming #shining #glowing even #he hsa no faults #look at his smile it cld make flwers grow fck off #n the stars are in his eyes #all of them #im real emo tonight #hes so bright #the most beautiful boy #a baby #my best baby boy in th whole wrld #i wld gv hm m everythng #i love hm so mch m heart is so full #im nourished
#this era makes m choke on air #he was so rude the entire time i really hsatge bjgbnkgjbnfdkjbdfj bjbngnbkgnbkgfkbng #...gotta go #i hope he *** **** ******** ** *** ***** ** *** **********
#jungkook is so cute i love him so much what the fuck #he is the purest mostwholesome lil fella ive ever seen #his gecko friend :(((( #bitxch #search: how to be a gecko #hes so excited wgdhjb #'this one is a different guy!" #what the actual fuck jungkook rip m heart out y dont u #he saved m life wow #bad day who? dont know her #m never gna b sad again
#oh my god someone get me out of his ass #i'm too far #so far up his ass
#ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????? #i want him to dropkick me down a flight of stairs
#i want to fuxjckxking die and be dead get this photo away from me #what the ever loving fuck #are you seeing jungkooks arm??? are u seei g it #cause biyxch i am and i choxked #i hope i die #ababsbndnenjabsbsjjsnsl ouc h
#hes like my age in these photos whahat the fuck #why do noboys near me look exactly like this with this exact personality and this exact dna
jimin:
#he looks like a sad puppy and im not having it #ill fight the fucking rain #ill punch a cloud i dont give a fuck 
#i wld step on a lego brick for u
#omg hs lilcrooked tooth #im ugly cryign bitxch #thats it im cryign in th club fr real
#im screamign outta my ass #what the fuck jimin #what kinda extra ass #he did a fuckin split to try and kick a golden glittering pompom #this is gay culture
#he looks like a rich housewife #please step on me
#his fucking n e c k #look at it fuck #what the fuckim..... #im rlly reaching fr th fckng gun sis jesus hcirst
#@nasa i will pay you to launch me into th fckng sun bitxch 
#can he maybe... jump like that again... on m fuckin head 
#i swear hes like... made of gold and honey and stardust or smth what th e fuck
#i literally just said oh my god under m breath #buyt i cldnt get th words right so i just sorta went ohgghg #what the fuck
#this is some chaotic evil behaviour right here what the fuck jimin
#perfection? on my dash? its morelikely than u think!
#i hope i die immediately right now this very second
#can he punch me in th fucking throatplease #i will pay him to straight up fucking deck me
#oh my fucking god im #he #whatthe actual fuck is this?????? #what the fuck is thsi ?!??!?!?! #no #ihave truly had e nough of this shit ajshdbjdbnjfkfl #i become a fckcng jimin stan and this is th shit i get in return???????? #chronic agonising pain #yes thnk u jimin thts rlly what i fuckcing signed up for #this was not part of th fucking contract #i just wanted a cute squishy boy with a lil button nose #n mybe a bit of sad contemplation #i did not want !!!! sin !!!!!! #in my christian household????????? #blasphemy #this is fucking blasphemy #the power of christ compels you #fuck wheres the holy water bitxch #this boysjhdbfjhbfjbjgbjbfbflk #u kno what fuck it if this is what death feels like sign me th fuck up #guess ill just die bitxch
do u ever just look back at your past self and think... is she okay
im tagging: @namjoonsgalaxy @blumiin @minsuga--genius @velvethoseok @hobisnovia @gukiee @itskimtaehyung @parkjiminivan @jiminyoongs (if u want !!)
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kirishwima · 7 years
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Hey there cool bean! So.. I absolutely love Hance and I also absolutely love Fake Dating, Wrong Number and that "whatever you write on your skin appears on your soulmates skin" Soulmate AUs and I'd love you forever and beyond if you could write a normal life/pre-Boltron OS about one of these because that would be like the most awesome thing ever ;^;
Hey lovely!
So funny thing is, I love Hance a lot too and also really like all three ideas sooo i tried adding all of them into one fic lol ;u; hope you like it!
*****
Hunk stared at the text, his phone’s screen blearing and blurring his vision with its brightness.
To say he was…confused, would be an understatement.
He looked to the message once more, giving it another quick read.
From: Unknown
>Dude hi, look, i knw we ain’t that close or anythin but i rly rly RLY need u to call me and pretend ur my bf rn
Hunk sighed and scrolled down, reading the next chain of messages.
From: Unknown
>this creepy dude is hittin on me and idk how to tell him to back off so cmon pls call me n pretend ur my bf u don’t even have to talk or anythin
From: Unkown
>im gonna owe u like 100000 coffees cMON
It was a do-or-die moment, Hunk knew that.
He knew that the best option would be to ignore this messages-they were obviously not intended for him in the first place.
On the other hand…the person did seem really stressed out. Hunk knew if he was in the situation this person was in, he’d more than likely do the same thing, his fingers shooting a text to his best friend Pidge faster than you could say ‘burrito’.
It was a do-or-die moment.And Hunk decided to go for it full force, before the little anxious thoughts tugging on his skin pulled his barely existent bravado away from his grip.
He clicked on the unknown number and let his phone ring, shakily bringing it close to his ear.
The first beep went by unanswered, Hunk’s anxiety only heightening at the sound.The second beep followed, yet before a third one could be heard, the person on the other line picked up.
“Hello?”
The voice was sweet, a light pitch of anxiety clouding over it, yet even with the added stress and the distress of the phone, it was still one of the nicest sound Hunk’s ears had ever heard.
“U-uh, yes?”
Hunk mentally slapped himself, shutting his eyes and shaking his head.Nice going Hunk, he chided himself, way to show you’re intimidated by a person you haven’t even seen before

“Awe babe!” the voice cooed, the words of affection making goosebumps run over Hunk’s body, “you changed your phone number after all? I told you it was about time to!” the person continued, the sounds of background music and chatter now registering in Hunk’s mind.
“I-uh-yeah. Phone number. That’s right.” he stumbled, somewhat astounded at how easily this play of affection rolled through this person’s mouth.
“Well I’m glad you called me. I was just at your favourite coffee shop and wanted to ask you what coffee you wanted me to bring over! I didn’t see you at all today, I missed you.”
Hunk run a hand through his mark absent-mindedly, enjoying the soft voice over the line.
“A coffee would be great, yeah.” he mumbled, slowly feeling more at ease.He wondered if this person had him on loud speaker, or if his own little show of fake-dating this person was more unnecessary than helpful.
“What? You want me to go over straight away? Are you sure?”
A-ha.
Hunk huffed a laugh, quickly realising that the only person that could hear him right now was this guy he was talking to.
“Alright, alright, I’m on my way! Love you, see you in a bit!”
He heard the person mutter something, another somewhat gruffer voice answering back to him, quickly followed by shuffling, the sounds of the coffee shop promptly disappearing.
“…are you still there?” the voice asked, the tone much quieter than before.
The high pitch and sweetness was a show, after all.
“Yup.” Hunk replied, a profound comfort washing over him, all his previous stress diminished.He slumped onto his bed with relief and sighed, waiting to hear an explanation from this unknown person.
“I’ll just go ahead and assume you’re not Steve, are you?”
He laughed at that, shaking his head despite knowing the person he was speaking to couldn’t see him.
“Afraid not. And I guess you didn’t actually mean to text me did you?”
The voice laughed, the sound like water from a creek, crystal clear and joyous to Hunk’s ears.
“No, no, definitely not.” he laughed, “Still, thanks for helping me out. There was this dude that wouldn’t take no for an answer. He only backed away when he thought I was talking to my boyfriend or, whatever.”
“Yeah dude, I hear you, this kind of people are the worst” Hunk grumbled, scrunching his nose in distaste, “Why can’t they just respect another person’s boundaries and get that ‘no’ means ‘no’?!”
The person on the phone hummed in agreement.
“Thank you, that’s exactly what I was thinking!”  he huffed, “it’s so easy and yet some people are just..ugh” he groaned in defeat.
Hunk laughed, letting a short silence stretch that really wasn’t as uncomfortable as Hunk thought it should be.
“I never got your name by the way.” the voice spoke up, a shyer tone in their sound, “I’m Lance, Lance Sanchez.”
He let the name roll through his mind for a moment, trying to think if he’d ever heard it before. He was certain he never did, but there was something about it, about this person’s voice, their mannerism, that made Hunk feel a familiar tinge in his chest, as if something in his heart was tugging it’s way to his brain, smacking it and saying ’of course you know it, silly!’
“Hello?”
Hunk shook himself out of his trance.
“Yeah hi! Sorry, sorry, just tryin’ to figure out if I know you from somewhere. I’m Hunk Garett.”
The voice-Lance, Lance huffed, the sound making white noise travel through Hunk’s speaker.
“Man, I thought you were going to hung up on me or something. Which I’d totally get, but you know, putting a name to my life-saver would be nice-“
“Life-saver? I hardly did anything!” Hunk interrupted, his face reddening at the characterisation. Here he was, talking to thus guy with this soothing voice, that was calling him a life-saver?
“Yes life-saver, don’t be humble, and anyway, as I was saying, putting a name to the voice would be nice, but you know what would be better?”
“W-what?”
“Taking said life-saver with his honey-sweet voice out for a coffee. You know, as a thank-you for getting me away from a creepy flirt even though you had zero obligation to?”
The words died in Hunk’s mouth, his eyes widening at face heating up.
Coffee? Honey-sweet?
Was…was this guy asking him out on a date?!
“I-no-there’s no need-“
“Aw come on, I did promise you a bunch of coffees in the text. Well, I thought I was promising Steve coffees, until I realised I’d saved his phone number wrongly in the first place, but anyway! The offer stands if you want it!” Lance cheered, the sounds of a bustling street failing to dull his loud voice.
Hunk mulled over the idea, feeling like a fish far, far, far out of it’s waters. So far it could just as well be a fish that boarded a plane and landed onto the Sahara desert.
“Look”, Lance continued, his voice more sullen than before, “it’s totally cool if you don’t want to, and I’m sorry if I over-stepped my bounds. Hell, I just escaped a creepy guy, I don’t wanna sound anything like him myself. All I’m saying is, I owe you one, and if you want to, I’ll be more than happy to repay you.”
“You can even hit me up on social media if you want. I’m pretty much everywhere with my full name, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, you name it. Or you can just hung up and we never speak again, that is totally cool too, and uh, thanks again for helping me out-“
Lance started rumbling, and something in Hunk just lit up, a small bold voice flexing and yelling at him to just do it, completely trampling the shyer, more worrisome voices nibbling at his mind.
“I’ll add you on Facebook. Or snapchat or something and we can uh, see and decide. I mean, are we even in the same city? Or the same country?! You could be in the other side of the world for all we know!” Hunk mused, suddenly realising all the ways this could go wrong. Even his little just do it voice had no come-back to that.
“I mean, your phone number’s nearly the same as my friend Steve’s, and it’s a local phone number so…probably not?”
Hunk stilled.Oh. Right.
They both laughed, slowly understanding how obscure the situation they found themselves in was.
“Alright. I’ll add you on facebook. I’ll talk to you there?”
Lance hummed, his smirk evident even through a phone conversation.
“Sure thing”, he smiled, and continued, “Nice to meet you, Hunk.”
His voice calling Hunk’s name felt more surreal than any conspiracy theory Pidge had ever brought his way.
“I-Nice to meet you too Lance.”
Hunk was hooked.This was a do-or-die moment, and he was pretty sure he just broke the do-or-die system.
*****
Lance’s squeal was loud enough to wake up his flatmate, if the knock on his door along with Keith’s rumble of ‘cut it out Sanchez’ was enough of an indication.
But he didn’t care, not right then and there.
He held his phone in his hand since the moment he clicked the hung up button after his conversation with Hunk, holding it tightly like prayer beads, as if that would make his wishes come true.
He waited for this blessed notification for over an hour, a cruel, agonising, torturous hour, and no, he was not being dramatic, or extra as his friends liked to call him, he was being dead-ass serious.
The moment Hunk uttered one single word to him, he felt the heat rise to his face, his heart thudding and threatening to jump out of his ribcage and run around the city to find the cause for it’s irregular beating.
His voice was like honey and cinnamon and spice and everything nice, dammit, Lance was no poet, but the way this boy talked and the way he laughed did things to his brain, things he was certain brains were not supposed to do, like agonise for an hour wether or not a stranger he knew for a total of five minutes would add him on any of his social media or not.
So when his phone beeped with a Facebook notification that spelled out ‘Hunk Garett has sent you a Friend Request’, Lance was not ashamed to admit he screamed louder than he did that one time he saw Justin Timberlake walking down the street.
With shaky hands, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the notification, the screen immediately loading Hunk’s Facebook Profile.
What awaited him was….it was too good to be true, that’s for sure.
The profile greeted him with a picture of the most beautiful boy in existence, a close up of his face, dark chocolate skin and amber eyes, and the sweetest, softest smile one could ever lay their eyes on.
His heart threatened to stop and he still had only looked at the guy’s profile picture.
He scrolled down, taking a look at his profile, which was set to public view.
Another photo awaited him, this time of the same gorgeous face, now placed in a full-body picture, that displayed Hunk sitting cross-legged in a grassy field, a big cheerful dog with golden fur and droopy ears trying to fit itself onto Hunk’s lap, the boy in question fitting his hands around the dog and hugging it, the biggest of grins on his face, enough to make his eyes squint and crinkle at the corners.
‘Did i adopt him or did he adopt me?’ the photo’s caption said, and Lance wasted no time in his next course of action.
He promptly got off of his bed, where he was squealing and agonising in for the past hour, and headed out to the living room, where Keith sat with a bowl of cereal in his lap, a weird alien documentary playing on the TV.
Lance sat by him and placed the phone in front of Keith’s face.
“Mothboy, what do you think of this guy?” he asked, making Keith squint and turn his attention to the phone in front of him.
Keith studied the picture as he took another spoonful of his cereal, humming before swallowing and turning to Lance.
“I don’t even know him and I’d willingly let him hug me to death.” he deadpanned.
“I know right?!” Lance screeched, and before he could re-think it, scrolled up on Hunk’s profile and clicked ‘accept’ on his friend request.
He had never been more thankful to his clumsy fingers for typing a wrong number more than he was in that very second.
*****The familiar ring of his phone made him shake his head and look away from the books in front of him, earning himself a glare from the tiny girl sitting across of him, although it was a short-lived one-her glare turned to a smirk in less than a nano-second.
“Is that the Snapchat notification sound I hear?” she smirked, raising an eyebrow and leaning closer to her friend.
“You got freakin’ bat ears Pidge, let me tell you”, Hunk grimaced, backing away from her stare  with his phone in hand, “And even if it was, what’s it to you again?”
“Nothing?” she blinked, morphing her expression to the purest most innocent face she could conjure, “I’m merely wondering who it is that’s snap-chatting you, that’s important enough for you to stop mid-way of studying quantum physics of all things, so you could answer.”
“That puppy face stopped working like, two years ago, and no, I’m not gonna tell you who I’m talking with.”
“Please, as if I don’t know it’s that Lance guy you keep going on and on about” she huffed, rolling her eyes in distaste.
Hunk  knew better than to try and argue with her on that-Pidge had been his best friend since forever, and if it’s one thing he could never do to her, it was lie.
Besides, he couldn’t ever lie to save his life, nevertheless lie to his best friend about anything.
“Okay yeah, it’s Lance, so?” he asked, not looking up from his phone as he opened the snapchat application and waited for Lance’s snap to load.
When did the two become so close?
It was only a month since that fated phone call, and yet they were talking more and more each day, to the point that Hunk sometimes forgot they hadn’t actually physically met yet.
“Hunk, my dude, my man”, she started, pushing her glasses up with the tip of her finger, “the guy is practically your boyfriend already.”
“No he’s-“
“Must I remind you your full 20-minute freak-out session when you found his Facebook? You said, and I quote” she paused, clearing her throat and turning to Hunk with wide eyes, “His eyes are so blue and sparkly how can a man be so pretty Pidge I am going to dIE” she sing-songed, mimicking her best Hunk voice.
“I definitely did not say that, and for the thousandth time, he is not my boyfriend! He’s just a-“
He meant to continue, but the loaded snapchat caught him mid-sentence, his mouth slack and turning into a soft fond smile.
The snap was of Lance, a quick selfie with a wink and a wide grin, the tip of Lance’s nose reddened as the sun beat down of him, the glimpse of ocean blue waves behind him, neck and chest bare and peeking into the photograph.
‘Water’s great! Wish you were here too xo’ said the caption and Hunk’s soul immediately transcended to the seventh gate of heaven, if that was even a thing-which it should, because only one was just not enough to contain how blessed he felt in that moment.
“He’s just so…pretty…”
“Called it” Pidge snorted, rolling back on her chair and folding her arms over her chest.
She let Hunk have his small blissed-out moment, even let him reply to Lance with a quick selfie that showcased him and the row of books on their table, Pidge pouting at them in the background, before she coughed and nodded at Hunk.
“Do you think he’s maybe…you know.” she nodded again, pointing to Hunk’s right arm, her point of interest hidden behind his t-shirt.
He looked down to his arm too, soft smile fading as he remembered what was hidden in the inner corner of his right arm, an image hidden from the world under bulky sweaters or light t-shirts.
“Do I think he’s my…soulmate?” he dreaded that last word, the thought itself bringing up bile and anxiety into his stomach.
Pidge nodded again, her face open and hands reaching out to rest in-between their piles of books and closer to Hunk.
“The only way to find out is if you meet him you know? You’re getting along so well already.” she prompted.
“I guess.” Hunk sighed and shook his head, averting his gaze in favour of grabbing his cup of coffee and taking a sip, then fiddling with the cover of one of his books.
Damn summer reading and extra work-load. He’d much rather be at the beach right now, enjoying his college years with a certain blue-eyed someone-
Okay. Wrong train of thought. Very, very, very wrong train of thought.
It wasn’t that Hunk hadn’t thought about it.Could Lance be his soulmate?
Yes.With the way his heart fluttered and stomach clenched with each joke or silly meme Lance sent him, with each quick ‘good morning’ text and short Skype sessions, it was no wonder he grew more and more fond of the bright-eyed boy with each passing day.
Hunk was in deep and he knew it.
But what if Lance just wasn’t his soulmate?
What if they met but there was no glow in their eyes, no burning of their respective marks and swirling colours that’d make each of their marks whole again?
He absent-mindedly scratched at his arm, the thought of that bright yellow circle etched onto his skin, waiting to find the colour it’d mix and match with, that’d make the colour that’d bind him to another person for life.
He already had an idea of who he wished that person to be.
He just didn’t know if fate would agree with him.
*****From: Hunky Hunk
>Hey Lance. I’m soooo sorry but i can’t make it today ;-; Jimmy got sick and i had to take her to the vet asap. raincheck?
Lance sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before replying.
>>hey dude!! ya no problem, dont worry! hope jimmy feels better soon
The reply he got was instantaneous.
From: Hunky Hunk
>thanks man. will do. sorry again! i’ll make it up to you on your next day off :)
He smiled at the text, even though a certain disappointment gnawed at the pit of his chest.
He understood that life was hard and sometimes things just happened.
He just didn’t understand how life could work it’s way and destroy his plans five times in the same month.
The first time he asked Hunk if he wanted to meet up, was two months after they started talking, gathering up his courage and asking him out for that coffee he’d promised him.
Hunk sounded excited, but sent him a text the next day, profusely apologising because he’d forgotten to tell Lance he’d be out of town for the weekend.
Lance told him not to worry about it, they’d be able to figure out another day.
Then the next week it was his friend’s birthday, so they’d gone out to celebrate.
Then it was his workload that got Hunk slumped and unable to make it.
Then, surprisingly, it was Lance’s turn to be unavailable, his part time work friend getting sick and needing someone to fill his place for a few days, something that Lance wouldn’t ever say no to.
But this was the fifth time in a row that they tried making plans to meet up, and through he knew it was neither of their faults, it still felt like a blow to the side every time, his ego bruised and his hope battered.
He stared at the offensive blue mark on his left wrist and sighed in defeat.
Through their everyday talks with Hunk, the silly pictures and cute selfies he’d sent (that Lance had to fight off the urge to screenshot and keep by his bed every single time), to their common excitement and bonding over astronomy and flying, Lance had slowly started to get this inkling, this small hunch that maybe just maybe….
….There was perhaps a small, tiny, minuscule chance that Hunk could be his soulmate.
He tried not to get his hopes up, he really, truly did, but it became harder to do so with each sweet text and shy phone-call Hunk sent his way.The boy was sugar moulded into a human being and Lance wanted nothing more than to shove himself into a self-induced sugar coma. A Hunk coma, if you will.
He sighed, slumping onto his elbows on the kitchen table, earning a groan from Keith who was sitting across of him with his computer open and his pale skin reflecting the light off of it.
“What are you moping about?” he asked, his voice all bark but no bite. Lance learned by now that this was just his friend’s way of showing concern. “Is it about Hunk again?”
Lance’s lower lip quivered, his eyebrows scrunching.
“It’s the fifth time we’re unable to meet up Keith! The fifth time! Fate is against me and the universe hates me.”
“The universe is too busy minding its own business to hate you. And you and Hunk are practically dating anyway, stop being so sad about it.”
“But we’re not! I’m just-what if he’s not…the one, you know? What if I’m thinking things too much and he’s not even into me at all?!” Lance gasped, sitting up and bringing his hands to Keith’s shoulders, shaking the lethargic boy with intense emotion.
“What if he doesn’t even want to talk to me and he just feels forced to because he’s too sweet to say no?!”
“Lance, I get that you think the guy’s all sunshine and rainbows, and he probably is, but if he didn’t want to talk to you, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. It’s not that hard to block someone.” he sighed, moving away from Lance’s grip in favour of carrying on typing on his computer.
“…Besides,” Keith continued, peeking up from his work to look at Lance, “I met his best friend Pidge once and trust me, if he didn’t want to talk to you…she’d have obliterated you a long, long time ago.” he shuddered.
Lance slumped back in his seat, face thoughtful.
“That…is oddly comforting. Thanks buddy.”
Keith shrugged, tugging a strand of loose hair back into his messy ponytail.
“Also, your phone just beeped. I’ll take my best guess and say it’s from Hunk.”
Lance turned to face his phone. Sure enough, his Facebook messenger beeped with a new message, alerting him that Hunk had sent him an attachment.
“Conspiracy confirmed cryptid boy.” he smirked, ignoring Keith’s protest in favour of opening up the chat and looking at what Hunk had sent him.
Attached was a photo of Hunk’s dog Emmy, with half of Hunk’s face in the shot, standing right outside a veterinary clinic.
“Doc said she’ll be in perfect health soon! She just ate something bad. Gave her a hug and told her it’s from you and she wagged her tail a lot so that’s got to mean she likes you!” said the message that followed.
Lance let his phone back down and slumped face-first into the table, ignoring the cackle that came from Keith.
“You really like him huh.” Keith stated.
“…I would willingly eat a bottle of hot sauce for him in a heartbeat.” Lance answered.
The scariest part of the situation was that Lance really, truly meant it.
He was wrapped around the finger of a boy he’d never met before.
*****
Hunk felt his phone beep in his pocket, but for the first time in forever, didn’t move to check it, as much as his mind and heart screamed and begged him to.
He was late, he was so, so late and he’d never hear the end of it from Coran if he was late to his first lecture of the year.
He hadn’t even realised how fast summer came and left.Never realised how fast a certain boy named Lance sneaked his way into Hunk’s life even if he’d yet to see him face to face.
He pushed the thought aside in favour of speeding up his step, only pausing for a moment to take out his phone and promptly check the time.
7.30 a.m
Seven. Thirty. In the morning.
In his dazed state, he’d never realised he read the time wrong. The school was only a half hour away from his house, and thinking it was 8.30 when he woke up and his class was at 9.00, he had run the apartment upside down looking for clothes and his toothbrush so he could run out and into the first bus he could catch
But now it was seven thirty and he was five minutes away from the school campus and he honestly never hated himself as much as he did right then and there.
Luckily that hate wouldn’t stand for long-he noticed a local coffee shop across the street, already busy with people shuffling in and out despite the early hour of the morning.
Hunk rushed inside, placing his order to a cheerful yet tired-looking cashier, then moving to the queue waiting for their coffee, his eyes never leaving his phone as he checked through his to-do list and replying to Lance’s text from last night, figuring the boy must’ve been still asleep when he got no reply.
“One cold brew coffee with caramel syrup and soy milk?” the cashier all but yawned, and Hunk turned his head to her with a smile, reaching for the coffee she’d just placed onto the small waiting table.
He stilled when he felt a warm hand clash with his, tan slender fingers with a blue circle on the wrist of said hand.
His eyes widened when the circle glowed, and swirled, his own mark heating up and his eyes burning, the blues and yellows merging into a vibrant green.
There was no need to look up, to realise who it was he’d just felt this connection to.
He’d known from the first time they talked.From that very first, awkward, embarrassing phone call.
Yet he still looked anyway, if anything, just to see the face he could wait not longer to kiss the smirk off of.
“Morning Lance.” he beamed, noticing the green glow subduing from Lance’s eyes, replaced with the baby blues he loved to finally see up close, the smile on Lance’s face too surreal to even try and describe.
“Morning hunky Hunk.” Lance grinned, “glad to finally know what your taste in coffee’s like.” he added with a wink, and before Hunk could reply, he got his arms full of Lance, the scent of sea salt and comfort and home.
It felt right.
It felt stupid to even question it, to ever wonder if this was his person.
Hunk looked down at the boy in his arms, a lip-splitting grin of his own lacing his face, burying himself into Lance’s neck.
“I guess I can finally treat you to that coffee I owed you?” Lance laughed, the warmth vibrating off his neck and onto Hunk.
Hunk huffed, his eyes already watering before Lance leaned closer and kissed his forehead.
“Idiot” Hunk whispered, “You’ve got a lifetime to do that.”
******
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