When I was getting my associates degree I took a course on human sexuality. It was really fascinating and wonderful. One of our assignments was to write about the first time we ever masturbated which was very uncomfortable and silly at the same time.

Mine was extremely boring because there’s nothing exciting about a five year old realizing that climbing the fire pole feels really good.

I told a coworker at the time about the assignment and she laughed and told me about her daughter. They had these really old dining room chairs with carved legs. The chairs had smooth wood bulbs going up them that the kid loved to rub on.

Her mom didn’t want to dissuade her or make her ashamed but she also needed to establish that masturbation should always be private. So she talked to her daughter and explained that she could do that but must do it in her room alone.

The result of which was that everyone was aware the girl was going to masturbate when she dragged the chair into her room to be alone with it.

My friends was my favorite though, because his discovery was in stages. He liked it when his penis would get hard as a kid because it meant he could grab it and pretend to be flying a helicopter. His aha moment was when this happened once in the shower and the grabbing plus soap made him realize something else might be going on.

That was funny on its own, but nothing could match when in the most betrayed tone he said, “It was so much more fun then, before stuff came out at the end.”

so I guess if you describe a decades-long international crisis involving multiple world powers as "complex" then somebody on tumblr is gonna be like "umm where is the complexity here?" to try and gotcha you?

and then you realize that their idea of simplicity is based solely on declaring who is morally at fault, and having decided that and posting about it online they're relieved the burden of ever conceptualizing an actual outcome to everything going on, because their activism begins and ends with identifying the "good guys" versus "bad guys" and not talking about what the fuck is supposed to happen next, and definitely not addressing any of the actual core political problems or history therein that have enabled this genocide

Oh no, what homophobia is happening in Italy?

…oh the ‘homophobia’ of women’s rights is happening in Italy…

HEY

YOU KNOW ANTISEMITISM IS STILL BAD RIGHT!?

RIGHT!?

respectfully, why tf do y'all care if people "jump ship"? is your life really this sad that you can't stand the thought of other people not rooting as much for buddie anymore? like what is your business here exactly?

Another enormous and ongoing factor in “Canada is not a human rights paradise”; MAiD.

Canada legalised “medically assisted death” and what literally every disability rights group said would happen immediately proceeded to happen; they started offering it instead of care to disabled people.

Far from being limited to terminally ill people in intense pain, which is what they spoke about when pushing the policy, it’s now routinely offered to disabled and chronically ill people who are suffering *because they are living in poverty* and *unable to access the pretty basic care and assistance that would be needed for a decent quality of life.” They are currently expanding the programme to include mentally ill people because of course they are.

I know disabled and chronically ill Canadians who are living in tremendous poverty - like, crowdfunding food and heating in *Canadian winters* poverty - who speak continuously about the fact that every time they seek any form of government or public assistance, all they get is offered “assisted suicide.”

There is literally no way this is anything other than eugenicist genocide of disabled people. And no one seems to give a shit other than disabled people, because abled people *continuously* seem to believe that death is preferable to disability. They continuously and massively overestimate the suffering involved in, say, incontinence.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN AO3 IS DOWN???! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!!

"omg its so annoying to have to see all these crossovers when i don't want to see them!"

Wow! If only there was some built-in ao3 function to solve this!

"well sometimes they still show up!"

Awww poor you, it must be so hard seeing all those crossover fics people worked hard to make and enjoy 😢 I guess the only solution is for you to make a rant post hating on people who like crossovers instead of, you know, taking barely a second to scroll past the fucking fic

On the topic of the visions Jack saw on Elpis potentially being "the course" that the Seer talked about in bl3 I do have to wonder just how much Jack saw and why he didn't see his own death SO I got three theories

Either 1) Jack was supposed to see his death but because Lilith vault punched him the visions got interrupted before he could get to that part

Or 2) because Angel was a siren the visions couldn't have predicted that she was going to die and make Jack reckless, meaning that if Jack saw the whole vision he would have seen himself surviving and moving on to Promethea next as the prime instrument

But it's also possible that 3) Jack's death was simply left out of the vision because otherwise Jack might have been dissuaded from making it come true

All of this would depend on how accurate the visions actually are though and if they straight up tell the future or if they're just guidelines for whoever sees it to follow. The eridians might have expected someone a little less unhinged than Jack 😔

“stop worrying about bi lesbians! worry about trans rights being lost in america!”

first of all, i am actually smart enough to realize that there are multiple issues and address all of them. second of all, where the fuck were you when SB-180 passed in kansas? if you’re so concerned about trans rights, maybe you guys should put your money where your mouth is and start putting in the work; instead of sitting around with ur thumb up your ass being lesbophobic as hell!

You guys do know that it's not right to compare disabled people to disabled animals even if you try to phrase it as something in favor of disabled people, right?

Right?

Has no one gifed the great scene where Clive reunites with his uncle Byron yet? A.K.A. the best scene in the game? LOL

the absolute vicious shit people think they have to say whenever the topic of 'picky eaters' comes up ESPECIALLY when it's about children is just sickening

.

As a person who overthinks everything, is shit at expressing myself clearly, and is constantly worried I'll accidentally offend someone, if I were in the public eye and had every single word I said in any given moment analysed like a fucking piece of literature, I think I would simply curl up and die.

istg, so many people on tumblr are such pedantic fuckwits that it's impossible for me to enjoy the site even a little unless I restrict myself to my blog subscriptions tab of like 20 people.

I've barely been on here for like a week, but I was just looking through the #bill and frank tag for The Last of Us. And of course one of the first things I come across is this (under the cut because it's just some asshole trying to ruin other people's fun and feel superior for literally no reason):

text: i wish the conversations around bill and frank from this week's episode of the last of us would stop calling it a "queer" relationship. two men who had only seen society progress to 2003, living in the south especially, would have only seen that word as a pejorative. you, personally, in 2023, may have reclaimed it, but it seems blatantly disrespectful to use it in this context. they were two gay men in a loving gay relationship and they died as husbands. don't dance around that statement.

Like. Really? It's disrespectful to these two fictional characters who exist in 2023? When queer folks are just trying to enjoy the scraps we get? That's what you're going to focus on?

So many people on this site are clearly physically incapable of enjoying anything and just have to piss in other people's cheerios at every opportunity.

Time to ignore this garbage site for another week, I guess.