November prompt list challenge 2022, Day 17 - Swim

We all know and have seen Moon swim on air, in the daycare. He seems to enjoy it. So ye, I drew that :)

Make No Mistake a fic request : SFW, FEM READER, 666 wc // Reader has always loved him. But he doesn’t know. She is his favorite. But does she know?

Learned Something PT 2 to MnM : NSFW, FEM READER, 4.2 wc // Doflamingo has asked you–twice–to put on the dress he’s bought for you. You don’t seem to understand the importance of following orders, or accepting his judgement. So he sets out to teach you a little lesson or two.

Butterfly. Six. Mine PT 3 of MnM : NSFW, FEM READER, 6.2 wc // Y/N (aka Butterfly aka Six) knows she doesn’t have many weapons to use against Doffy so she tries depriving him of her undivided attention. Doffy lasts two whole days before he snaps.

eustass kid falling for a shy reader headcanons {trope: opposites attract}{tw: size kink maybe, corruption kink lite} : NSFW, FEM READER

As It Was : SFW, ANGST, GN! READER, 471 wc // “The people need you, I need you.”

I'll Follow : SFW, Knight Zoro x Prince Luffy/ZoLu // Medieval AU

Chupamelo : NSFW, FEM READER, 3.5k wc // Y/N wants to show Luffy how much she missed him

Heat : SFW, GN READER, 549 wc // The one where Ace is jealous of Marco and Y/N

Love Isn't Enough : SWF, ANGST, GN READER, 140 wc // prompt ❛ sometimes you think you’re so much in love that your love could fill the biggest palace conceivable. sometimes you haven’t got enough to fill one room. ❜

A Lot Like Snow Part 1 : SFW, FEM READER, 1.5k wc// The one where Ace finds out about a rich group of snobs being culprits behind human trafficking on an island and sets himself the mission to disrupt their business. What he doesn't count on is that the person of interest he was trying to 'save' is the same person who has been hired to kill him.

Ace vs Finch Part 2 of A Lot Like Snow : SFWish, FEM READER, 2.3k wc // Finch reveals her hand, and Ace isn’t surprised at all–at least not at first. At the reveal of Finch’s backstory, Ace decides to take a different approach to his end goal.

Wind & Fire : NSFW, CHUBBY FEM!READER, 9k wc // Ace comes aboard the Moby Dick, fire in his fists, fire in his eyes. Y/N wants to know his reason for fighting, but curiosity is a beast of a burden, and when feelings get swept up in the heat of his storm, Ace has to make a choice between reason and his heart.

Movement : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 4.1k wc // The one where Zoro and Reader bump into each other in the middle of a heated “dance party” aboard the thousand sunny; awkward dancing, Nami buys expensive whiskey, lots and lots of sexual tension, there is a visit to the crow's nest and some star gazing.

Talk & Touch : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 1.3k wc // The one where Zoro takes the time out of his day to be extra annoying and hands on. Y/N just wants to work out in peace but Zoro has other plans.

Waking Up : NSFW for violence, GN READER, NO PRONOUNS, 1.38k wc // Zoro falls victim to a devil fruit user who is controlling his body, ordering him to take out his friends and the only one standing in his way is his platonic s/o

The Pull, the Moon, & the Wish Upon a Star (fic request) : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 7.9k wc // Y/N and Zoro have known each other for a long time, and have danced around their feelings, each one pining for the other in secrecy, but after thriller bark emotions escalate and they can't keep away from each other any longer.

From Light to Dark (fic request) : SFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, DRABBLE // summer love, love lost

Bullseye (Fic request) : NSFW, FEM READER //Usopp doesn’t understand why y/n can’t just grasp the concept of him being into her??? So he makes a move because life is short.

A Liar & A mouse (fic request) : SFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER // Usopp gets awoken in the middle of the night by a mouse, he is sat on, and seduced into going swimming (maybe)

Serendipity, or Something Like It (fic request) : SFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 3k wc // Usopp thinks the latest addition to the straw hat pirates was uncalled for, and unnecessary. He doesn’t trust her one bit, especially not when her mere presence makes him sick to his stomach.

Dream Weaver : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 2k wc // law has a dirty dream...

Reasons : (fic request) Part 2 of Dream Weaver, NSFW, FEM READER, NO PRONOUNS, 1.8k wc // Y/N doesn’t value her life and keeps asking questions, Law is not a very good negotiator sometimes, and an office desk makes for a silent witness.

Between Death && Memories (fic request) : SFW, GN READER, NO PRONOUNS, 812 wc // a meeting of childhood friends, and new possibilities.

Forget Him (fic request) : NSFW, FEM READER, 2.4k // Y/N has always harbored feelings for the stoic swordsman Roronoa Zoro. Law thinks she has better options and is out to prove his merit.

Between Fear & Love (fic request) : SFW, FEM READER // Y/N is cunning, intelligent, everything Law fear and admires.

Use Your Words (fic request) : NSFW, FEM READER 4.6k wc // Y/N has always had an insecurity buried deep down inside, that she hides under a bright smile; however, it takes one comment too many one day to ruin her mood. Law can’t help but meddle no matter what he says, and is determined to teach Y/N that beauty and pleasure comes in all kinds of sizes.

Mango Juice : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 1.3k wc // The one where Sanji decides he’s going to fix the y/n problem he has but he feeds her instead, he is a gentleman! Most of the time, and Luffy tries to invite himself over for a midnight snack

Juice with a Bite : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER, 2.3k wc // Part 2 of Mango Juice... The one where Sanji is true to his promise and visits Y/N's room at night when she's thirsty and calls for him...

Your Name : NSFW, FEM READER, SHE/HER 3.4k wc // The one where Sanji meets someone at the saloon, he is bad at climbing stairs, shirts get ripped, and you don’t know my name’.mp3

A Gilded Cage (fic request) : NSFW, ONE SHOT, 1.1k wc // Sanji receives a present, he doesn’t do well with letters, running = death, zoro is inconvenient

one piece boys realizing they're attractive : SFW // Ace, Law, Zoro

one piece boys and chubby reader : NSFW // Benn, Marco, Law, Zoro

one piece boys with a s/o who has inattentive adhd : SFW // Corazon, Law, Luffy

one piece boys being sexually frustrated (tw: size kink) : NSFW // Ace, Kid, Law, Zoro

pretty little mouth : NSFW // izou x reader

what that mouth can do : NSFW // izou x reader

LAST UPDATED: 06/11/2023

If a person wanted to write Boromir fic, do you have any tips on how to capture the Tolkieny tone in writing/best scenes to re-read for characterization?

LET ME SEE if I can’t compile a nice guide for you;

First thing’s first! Boromir does not include his own feelings into his statements unless it’s utterly against his will, such as the ring-controlled scene. In fact his discussion with Frodo is the first and last time he expresses his emotions verbally at all and even then it seems to be squeezed out of him in the midst of his ranting ‘how it ANGERS me’ like he is almost shocked at how angry he actually is in that moment, so much so that he can’t hold it back like normal. 

‘I am’ statements in general don’t come often either. He doesn’t use ‘I’ at all if he can help it. If he is describing the war or some conflicts or battles, he uses ‘us’ or ‘we’ ‘Some said that it could be seen, like a great black horseman, a dark shadow under the moon. Wherever he came a madness filled our foes, but fear fell on our boldest, so that horse and man gave way and fled. Only a remnant of our eastern force came back, destroying the last bridge that still stood amid the ruins of Osgiliath. 'I was in the company that held the bridge, until it was cast down behind us. Four only were saved by swimming: my brother and myself and two others.’ Here he mentions himself only as an explanation for the circumstances, and goes quickly back to talking as a collective. (This is the first and last time he mentions Faramir too, and never by name)

The times when Boromir uses ‘I’ statements most is for defining his own actions and intent or when he is offering advice. 'I have let my horn cry at setting forth, and though thereafter we may walk in the shadows, I will not go forth as a thief in the night.' He is clear to himself and others about what he will and won’t accept. 'I will add a word of advice, if I may,' said Boromir. 'I was born under the shadow of the White Mountains and know something of journeys in the high places. We shall meet bitter cold, if no worse, before we come down on the other side. It will not help us to keep so secret that we are frozen to death. When we leave here, where there are still a few trees and bushes, each of us should carry a faggot of wood, as large as he can bear.' Note here he is also polite but in a confident manner. ‘If I may’ is added to acknowledge that he is not the leader of the company, but he is not shy with offering his advice and assuming it useful. 

When he’s in more familiar and less strict circumstances, and actually sometimes even when he isn’t, Boromir has what I would call a... hint of sarcasm in his tone at all times. He’s always got a little sardonic wit with him,  `Let those call it the wind who will; there are fell voices on the air; and these stones are aimed at us.' See? It’s not... OVERT but it’s definitely a little long suffering/etc. Boromir... talks like an old man I guess is my point. 'What do you say to fire?' asked Boromir suddenly. 'The choice seems near now between fire and death, Gandalf. Doubtless we shall be hidden from all unfriendly eyes when the snow has covered us, but that will not help us.' ESPECIALLY when he’s talking to Gandalf, there’s just a bit of dark humour and ‘cheek’. `I do not know which to hope,' said Boromir grimly: `that Gandalf will find what he seeks, or that coming to the cliff we shall find the gates lost for ever. All choices seem ill, and to be caught between wolves and the wall the likeliest chance. Lead on!' jhadsjd BITCHY... but very funny and he’s right. And here also, ‘wolves and the wall’, he tends towards almost... poetic isn’t quite the word but he likes sayings and flowing dialogue. 

Continuing on from that point, Boromir is also generally... not WARM but he’s got a way of speaking that is comfortable and confident in comradery. Especially with Gimli, actually, he often makes these lighter sighed statements that have a lick of humour to them. Again, it’s never particularly overt, more of a constant underlying note in his wording, even in the latter parts of the fellowship. `Ah, it is as I said,' growled Gimli. 'It was no ordinary storm. It is the ill will of Caradhras. He does not love Elves and Dwarves, and that drift was laid to cut off our escape.' 'But happily your Caradhras has forgotten that you have Men with you,' said Boromir, who came up at that moment. `And doughty Men too, if I may say it; though lesser men with spades might have served you better.’ This is one of my favourite lines of his it’s just like... confident, not over proud, you can hear him grinning and the leetle wry tone he’s speaking in. Even here! In like the very last days of his life, he still has this quality! 

We might labour far upstream and yet miss it in the fog. I fear we must leave the River now, and make for the portage-way as best we can from here.' `That would not be easy, even if we were all Men,' said Boromir.     `Yet such as we are we will try it,' said Aragorn.  'Aye, we will,' said Gimli. `The legs of Men will lag on a rough road, while a Dwarf goes on, be the burden twice his own weight, Master Boromir! ' (later) 'Well, here we are, and here we must pass another night,' said Boromir. `We need sleep, and even if Aragorn had a mind to pass the Gates of Argonath by night, we are all too tired-except, no doubt, our sturdy dwarf.'     Gimli made no reply: he was nodding as he sat.

AND ANOTHER THING. Whilst Boromir CAN be an orator and give long speeches, he tends towards economy of speech. This is especially noticeable, again, between him and Gandalf. Gandalf will go on for three paragraphs about something, patronising him, explaining a lot of unnecessary stuff to sound clever. And then Boromir will just answer with; `We do not know what he expects,' said Boromir. `He may watch all roads, likely and unlikely. In that case to enter Moria would be to walk into a trap, hardly better than knocking at the gates of the Dark Tower itself. The name of Moria is black.' And that’s it! AND HE’S FFUCKIN RIGHT GGSHAHGS

So you’re usually going to be trying to narrow down his speech to it’s bare essentials in order to get the point across and nothing more. Stream lined, impersonal, confident and clear are the hallmarks of Boromir’s speech patterns. NO. SHOUTING. Unless to be heard or in a brief flash of shock, immediately restrained afterwards. Actually if Boromir has any kind of outburst, he tends to walk away from whatever situation caused it rather than allow anything to escalate. Boromir’s verbal tone is almost always neutral, wry or reassuring/comfortable. From experience, I can tell you this is... GRUELLING to write. You want so desperately for him to say what he’s thinking and feeling, what’s important to him, but he’s utterly incapable unless briefly possessed by evil. Not even when he’s literally dying will this change, though that might be because it was Aragorn at his deathside. Which brings me onto my final point.

We actually have no idea how Boromir might interact with people he actually likes and is friends with, let alone his family. I’m inclined to believe that warm comradery element just becomes more overt but little else changes. But you’re entirely at liberty to decide for yourself. Certainly though it is different from how he behaves throughout the fellowship. We never really meet Boromir... is a thought I can hardly bare so we’re STOPPING now. 

Tease Him Just Enough (Ao3)

(Wenzhou one-shot - WoH episode 6 altered scene - NSFW)

I don't know how many of y'all have fallen down the Word of Honor rabbit hole along with me but if you have: I'm now writing for this fandom too and, as usual, I'm taking requests lol

--

He’s staring.

Wen Kexing knows it makes his companion uncomfortable when he does, but for all the staring he’s done before now, nothing could have prepared him for what he finds has been under his Ah-Xu’s disguise this whole time.

He’s beautiful, is the thing, and while of course Wen Kexing has known that from the moment their eyes met, he still can’t help his newfound fascination with the truth under the mask.

And, to make things even better, it’s all for him. Oh sure Zhou Xu doesn’t realize that just yet, or if he does he’s not admitting to anything, but Wen Kexing already knows it, has known it since that first spar with the surety of it deep in his bones - they’re fated, for good or for ill, which means that Wen Kexing isn’t going to let his other half walk around without being told how stunning he is.

He’s just opening his mouth to say as much when Zhou Xu interrupts him.

“What are you looking at?” he demands, waving a little flaming stick around in his direction and it’s so unfairly adorable when combined with his attempt to scowl through the smirk that’s been hovering on his lips that Wen Kexing can hardly stand it.

“You,” he replies with a dreamy sigh. He’s hamming it up of course, because that’s who he is, but at the same time he really does feel like this is all a bit dreamlike, just the pair of them in their under-robes, the firelight burnishing Zhou Xu’s elegant figure coppery warm at the edges as the man glares at him.

“You’re still hallucinating from the dream drug,” his Ah-Xu mutters and Wen Kexing offers up a sweet, eye-crinkling smile that makes Zhou Xu scoff and return his glare to the fire - leaving him free to continue staring.

“Maybe. Or maybe I find myself bewitched by this stunning beauty in front of me.”

His smile only widens as Zhou Xu sucks in a deep breath and holds it, head tipped back as if the moon or the stars will give him the ability to stop getting embarrassed by Wen Kexing’s brazen flirting. He fully expects it to end there - it has in the past, with Zhou Xu giving up on finding a way to counter him, or perhaps rather with him deciding that it’s not worth the trouble because he can already tell that Wen Kexing isn’t going to be dissuaded no matter what he says. Honestly both possibilities are equally likely.

Tonight, though, after another few long minutes that are silent but for the crackle of the fire and the gentle burbling of the river at their backs, Zhou Xu turns to look at him again and this time there’s something new in his eyes, something that makes Wen Kexing go utterly still, his heart giving one solid thump in his chest and the back of his neck prickling as if there’s a threat nearby.

He’s not used to feeling like prey anymore, he hasn’t been prey for a long time, but there’s something about the way Zhou Xu looks at him now that makes him feel cornered. Seen. He’s not entirely sure that he likes the feeling, but it’s exhilarating in a way that he’s quickly coming to understand most things he does with Zhou Xu are.

Whatever expression is on his face makes Zhou Xu snort and shake his head a little with a snicker. Before Wen Kexing can ask what he’s laughing at he’s fixing that too-intense gaze on him again and saying, “Why do you insist on chasing something if you’re not going to know what to do with it when you catch it?”

Wen Kexing is also not used to being taken by surprise anymore, but he can’t help but be by that question. Slightly. Just a little bit.

“Am I going to catch you?”

“Haven’t you already?”

Wen Kexing blinks slowly at that as Zhou Xu watches him. Patient. Expectant.

And...it’s possible that Zhou Xu has a point. With an offer of some sort clearly being made, Wen Kexing suddenly realizes that he has no idea how to actually follow through. Zhou Xu must see it in his face because it doesn’t take too long before he scoffs again and pushes himself up to standing with his hands on his knees, sighing as he stretches a bit with the air of someone about to change the topic.

“Ah-Xu wait!” He scrambles to his feet (gracefully, he’s graceful and poised, damn it) and finds himself met with Zhou Xu’s back for the second time this evening. Or maybe the third? Now that he’s sobered up from the dream drugs back at the coffin home he’s pretty sure he remembers hugging Zhou Xu from behind, and of course he’s still vividly remembering the feel of his bare shoulder beneath his hands, his mouth. Okay, maybe he can do this, find a way to close the distance between them.

Zhou Xu stays still right where he is and Wen Kexing steps up behind him like it’s the most natural thing in the world, his left hand finding a home on his waist and the other on his shoulder, the one that’s not injured. When Zhou Xu makes no move to dislodge him he goes further, slipping the hand on his waist around his stomach and the hand on his shoulder down his chest slowly until he’s plastered against his back, his face pressed into his hair - still a little damp from their impromptu swim - and his heart rate settling into a just-barely-too-quick staccato in his chest as he holds his companion close.

“We should go find something to eat…” Zhou Xu eventually murmurs into the quiet. Wen Kexing tightens his arms further around him and leans down to press a kiss to the side of his neck, slow and careful about it - right up until the moment Zhou Xu tips his head to the side to give him room. All bets are off then and he takes the fire that’s been burning in the hollows of his chest since he put his mouth on the wound in his shoulder and he turns it into passionate kisses and nips along his unblemished skin.

“Later,” he practically pleads under the hinge of Zhou Xu’s jaw. He panics for a moment when the other man shifts in his grip until he realizes he’s turning around to grab his face with both hands and drag him in for a searing kiss, which is so much better than his dumb suggestion that they eat. Why would they need to eat when they could do this instead?

Wen Kexing’s extra argument that they shouldn’t be out in the woods in the dark while their clothes are still damp and they’re without their outermost layers ends up becoming utterly unnecessary as Zhou Xu backs him up against the nearest tree and leans into him, kissing him with a sudden aggression that would be startling were he literally anyone else. But of course his Ah-Xu, always quick with barbs and biting wit, kisses hard and fast like it’s going to be his last.

It’s difficult to keep up with at first, all teeth and tongue, and it’s all Wen Kexing can do to stay upright under the onslaught. But he gets his metaphorical feet underneath himself eventually and then he manages to give back as good as he’s getting, returning bite for bite and repaying Zhou Xu for this new flavor of vulnerability with some of his own.

They don’t need words to communicate that at least right here in this particular moment there’s no one else they would rather have in their arms, pressed up against their bodies, no one else’s tongue who would find a new home in each other’s mouths or any other body their hands would rather explore. Wen Kexing has already known that they’re fated, but for the first time it feels like they’re agreeing to be so. Even if it’s just for a night.

(Not that he thinks it will be just one night for them, but getting Zhou Xu to agree to anything remotely of the kind is like trying to drag a stray back-alley cat into a bath so he’ll take what he can get.)

He decides quickly that he’s going to let Zhou Xu have his way. He could argue if he wanted to, he could bite back a little too hard, push until Zhou Xu gives way beneath him. He doesn’t want to, though. He’s willing to admit that at the moment he’s tired of pushing and nudging and manipulating, and that to be with his Ah-Xu in such a way that things can be simple and straightforward is a much more appealing prospect than bullying his way into his lover’s trousers. They’ll have time for more later, of that he’s sure. (Getting in his trousers, that is. Not bullying him.)

(Maybe a little bit of bullying, too. He just makes it so easy.)

For now he’s extremely content to do nothing but reciprocate the harsh kisses in kind until he can’t help but throw his head back with a gasp when Zhou Xu’s hand is suddenly warm and tight around his length. He’s not even sure when the man managed to get that hand under his robes and in his trousers but he’s definitely not about to complain. It’s far too much friction for comfort, and while Zhou Xu’s enthusiastic reaction to the little mewling whimper that escapes him as soon as he realizes that fact is incredible, he’s still relieved when his partner settles for just sort of..holding. Squeezing.

Normally that wouldn’t be nearly enough to do it for him, but normally he’s not also getting kissed senseless and rutted up against by - well, anyone, but especially not someone as utterly alluring as Zhou Xu. It is, therefore, entirely Zhou Xu’s fault that it doesn’t take long at all before Wen Kexing is clutching his arms around his neck and grabbing fistfuls of his robes to drag him in for clumsy smears of kisses to attempt to muffle himself as he comes. It doesn’t work, of course, mostly because Zhou Xu insists on not letting him land a solid enough kiss to be muffled at all (which he would maybe pout about if he were capable of making a conscious effort of doing anything at all with his face).

He’s practically vibrating in Zhou Xu’s one-armed grip around his waist, his entire body drawn tight and still thrumming with pleasure as Zhou Xu uses his come to slick up his hand enough to finally stroke him properly as he softens, the overstimulation keeping him on edge and whimpering softly but still ultimately unwilling to pull away and end it.

He finally relaxes when Zhou Xu stops stroking him and returns to just holding him in his hand as they kiss lazily, much less greedily than before though Wen Kexing, at least, still feels just as desperate for more of it beneath the lassitude dragging at him. He gradually loosens the hold he has around Zhou Xu’s neck and reluctantly gives up on continuing to grip his robes in his fists in favor of drawing his arms down enough to rest his hands on Zhou Xu’s shoulders - and Zhou Xu promptly hisses quietly in pain into their kisses.

“I’m sorry,” Wen Kexing gasps as he jerks his hand back from Zhou Xu’s injured shoulder as if burned, and then he breaks the kiss to try to focus on pulling his partner’s robe back enough to get another look at the injury, concern written all over his face.

“Don’t worry about that,” Zhou Xu mutters with a little shrug that dislodges his hand before he can get the robe pulled back enough to see. “You know what will help me heal faster? Food.”

Wen Kexing gives up and drops his head to rest against the tree at his back with a soft, tired laugh, though in the next moment he drops his gaze down to where Zhou Xu still very obviously has his hand in his trousers and gives a little roll of his hips to emphasize his next point.

“I’ll go find you something once you’re done pawing at me - ah! Hey!” He laughs breathlessly again as Zhou Xu instantly retaliates by squeezing him just this side of too hard. Alright, noted - not a great idea to tease him when he’s got such a vulnerable body part so easily accessible.

“What was that?”

“I said you’re perfect and amazing and I never want to move from this spot again.” Wen Kexing punctuates that by leaning in to nuzzle the tip of his nose under Zhou Xu’s jaw and kiss at his neck, which earns him a scoff even as Zhou Xu tips his head to allow it. “You should at least let me return the favor before you send me to go wandering through the woods all alone,” he adds quietly. He trails one hand slowly down Zhou Xu’s chest but stops when he meets the resistance of Zhou Xu’s free hand gripping around his wrist.

“No need,” he mutters, sounding slightly flustered, for which Wen Kexing gives him a sharp little nip to the random patch of skin under his lips.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I already..”

“Hm?” Wen Kexing pulls back to meet Zhou Xu’s gaze but finds that the other man won’t look at him and is instead glaring right past his shoulder at some poor tree and he grins slowly, triumphantly. “Ah-Xu,” he calls, drawing it out playfully long, “Did you really just-“

“Alright, enough,” Zhou Xu snaps and Wen Kexing laughs even as his partner withdraws his hand from his trousers, finally, and backs away a step with a huff. Wen Kexing is still chuckling even as he straightens himself out and steps away from the tree. He’s pleased to find that his knees are steady enough that he can walk so he stretches for a moment and affects his best lazy attitude as he starts strolling in the general direction of a thicker patch of the woods surrounding their little campsite.

“Alright alright, I’ll go find you something to eat. Try not to miss me too much while I’m gone.”

He laughs as Zhou Xu rolls his eyes and waves him off but he goes anyway, slipping into the trees where he immediately turns back to watch as Zhou Xu walks down to the river to rinse his hands clean and then returns to their fire to sit down and start fiddling with the Soul Winding Box, brows furrowed over his bright eyes in concentration as he works.

Content that Zhou Xu will be alright for a while and isn’t trying to hide worse injuries from him, Wen Kexing turns to his task with a soft smile on his lips and a resolution taking root in his chest to convince Zhou Xu to do that (or plenty of other things of that nature) with him as often as possible, especially while they have the luxury of traveling alone and plenty of free time on their hands.

(Leopard AU with Reed AU) Reedpaw blinks when Featherpaw comes to him and apologizes, telling him that she's sorry that Mistyfoot picked her over Reedpaw when Leopardstar rescued them and took them to Thunderclan.

Reedpaw shakes his head, and nuzzles his sister. "Feather," he meows softly. "I was safe. You weren't. If I'd had to make the decision for us, I'd have picked you over myself too. You weren't safe here. Tigerstar and Shadowclan didn't know I was Mistyfoot's kit. To be honest, I think they thought I was one of Skyheart's."

Featherpaw blinks at him, eyes wide and she whimpers. "But Reed...he could have killed you..."

"But he didn't. I'm still here--we're both still here. He failed. We're going to be okay, Feather. Let's go try that hawk Greystripe caught you and Stormpaw. I'll go rip off it's feathers for your nest."

oooh i love this so much.

y'know of course she feels guilty. she didn't know if he was alive or dead or worse than dead. and he looks alive and whole but -- that's not the same as being okay.

they all feel guilty, don't they.

(The three of them sit by the river.

"Anyone want to bet on what our names will be?" Stormpaw asks, his tail flicking lazily.

Featherpaw snorts. "I've got loads of options. Hope she's creative about it."

Stormpaw flicks his ear. "Nah, she'll name you -- Featherheart, probably."

Featherpaw sighs. "I don't..." She shakes her head slightly. "Bet she names him Reedheart."

"I didn't do anything," he says. "Besides, we don't know what Leopardstar names cats like." He licks his paw, dragging it behind his ear. Mistyfoot would never let him forget it if he showed up to his own warrior ceremony ungroomed. "If it was Crookedstar, then it'd be easy. Stormfur, Featherpelt, and Reed..."

"Reedfoot," Stormpaw supplies. "No, he'd do Stormfur, Featherfoot, and Reedpelt."

Featherpaw snorts, and then giggles. Reedpaw purrs. It's nice to hear her laugh -- nice to just be around them again. "Well, I bet Firestar would name us..." She pauses. "I'm not sure, actually."

"He'd name you Featherheart," Stormpaw insists. "No question."

Reedpaw puts his head on his paws. He can't speculate on what Firestar would name them. Featherpaw catches his eye. "I'm glad we're all here, together," she says.

Reedpaw purrs.)

(He's still surprised that Leopardstar named Stormpaw Stormheart. But she had given him a tiny nod when she lifted her muzzle off his head, and Reedwhisker had decided to ask him about it as soon as their vigil ended.

"I feel okay," Feathertail whispers, flicking her tail impatiently.

Mistyfoot still looks worried, and she licks Feathertail's shoulder. "Sit between them, then, and if it gets colder--"

"She'll be fine," Stonefur calls. "Stop encouraging her to break vigil."

Feathertail's ears fold softly, and she sits next to Reedwhisker, beckoning Stormheart with her tail. They're supposed to sit at different places in camp, but even if Feathertail looks unimaginably better than when she left RiverClan, Reedwhisker knows she's still in recovery. He wraps his tail around her, watching the way the moonlight distorts on the river.

Reedwhisker thinks she falls asleep at some point, her head on his shoulder, but he doesn't wake her. She'll yell at him in the morning, but her breathing slows, and Stormheart licks her head, nodding at Reedwhisker. Best to let her sleep.

When the sun rises, Feathertail turns her face into his pelt, blinking blearily.

"Your vigil is over, you know," Stonefur says. "As soon as the sun hits the horizon. You better make sure Mistyfoot didn't assign you to any patrols."

He nudges them all gently, pushing them towards their den.

"Go get some sleep." He touches his nose to Feathertail's shoulder. "Proper sleep, that is."

"I was awake all night," she says, but her voice is still heavy from sleep, and Stonefur just purrs.)

and you know. i don't know. i think i just wanted to write siblings being together. whoops.

(They all have nightmares. It would feel like the set up to a joke, if they all have nightmares didn't mean Reedwhisker seeing blind panic in Mistyfoot's eyes, or Feathertail cowering in her own den, or Stormheart barely sleeping as he looks over the rest of them, making sure everyone is accounted for.

He's not really sure what his look like. He knows what they feel like, but he's pretty sure he's gotten good at shoving down his reactions. Waking Tawnypaw because he missed his mother would have gotten him killed. Now, he thinks he just doesn't want to disrupt anyone else's sleep.

Still, he finds Mistyfoot wrapping her tail around him, purring like he was a kit. He doesn't ask, but she still answers his question. "i'm your mother. Of course I know.")

hm. it appears i've swung to fluff bc i keep trying to do angst and i just. i don't know. appeal. i was writing the mistystar kills bramblestar during the "sexy slow" part of the playlist (it's called sexy because it's got songs like "take me to church" and "nfwmb" but specifically i was listening to "river" by bishop briggs), and now i'm in the "sad slow" part, but it's like. shrike by hozier. a song that makes me cry really easily but isn't that sad.

("I'm sorry," Reedwhisker says, dipping his head towards Feathertail. They haven't talked about it for a moon, but Leopardstar is kitting and Mistyfoot and Stonefur are with her and all he can think is, "If Tigerstar knew I was Mistyfoot's kit, he never would have treated you like that."

Feathertail scowls. "He would have just treated us both terribly, Reed. It wasn't like it was all that much better when Stonefur and Stormpaw were with us."

But they both know that's a lie.

"I'm still sorry," he says.)

there we go that's some proper angst. thank you "all of my goodness is gone with you now," which is The Line, of course, but -- it's such a good line. there are a lot of good lines, really. the whole song is good lines.

anyway.

(The kits leave Leopardstar's den. She watches them anxiously, and Stonefur sits next to her.

Feathertail looks excited to see them, crouching in front of them and purring. Mistyfoot is watching Mudfur's den. He won't leave it, Reedwhisker doesn't think, because he barely does. Shadepelt visits him daily, but Reedwhisker can't bring himself to ask his previous mentor why.

"Frogkit, no!" Leopardstar cries, bolting forward. She grabs him by his scruff. "You can get closer to the water when you're older."

Stonefur pads forward slowly, giving Leopardstar space, but staying close to her side.

"He wasn't that close," she says softly, as Frogkit rejoins his siblings. "That was -- unnecessary."

"They don't know how to swim yet," Stonefur says. "Keeping them away from the river is reasonable."

Leopardstar makes a sound between a cry and a whimper. Too late, Reedwhisker realizes how private a moment he's witnessing.

"Do you want to take them back in?" Stonefur asks.

"I--" Leopardstar pauses. "We only just left."

"And I'm sure they're already tired." Stonefur watches Leopardstar carefully. His posture is soft and open, and Leopardstar brushes her tail against his.

"Let's go back," she says.

"Alright.")

there we go now i just got through the Sad Sad part of my playlist. i don't know how long i've been writing. or how many words. i just. anon you really got to me. you made me feel and think and This is the end result of that.

hm. let's shoot for something fairly happy to end.

(Stormheart wades in the water. Feathertail is helping teach Leopardstar's kits to swim. "I'll teach you too," she said, giggling, but Stormheart turned her down.

Reedwhisker stands with him now.

"It's strange," he says, "because when I'm in the water, it feels familiar. But as soon as I--"

Stormheart huffs in frustration. "I don't know. I'm a RiverClan warrior. This is supposed to be easy."

"Well, it's not," Reedwhisker says. "So, it's not. That's all there is to it."

Stormheart flicks his tail in frustration.

"Okay," Reedwhisker continues, "what's stopping you, then?"

"I can't--" Stormheart takes a shaky breath. "I keep thinking about -- slipping. That's why Featherpaw got caught. Because I slipped and Greystripe had to save me. And then I found Stonefur and..." He shake his head. "I just can't."

"So you don't," Reedwhisker says. "You don't need to swim to fish. And you can still jump out of camp, it's been a dry newleaf. So you don't, and we try again when you can."

Stormheart sighs, and Reedwhisker presses his temple against his brother's.

"Frankly," Reedwhisker says, "I'm not terribly keen on the river either."

Different reasons, same result.)

well. that's the best you're getting for an ending. good night everyone, this anon made me feel a lot of things.

<3

Crossover Fanfic Recs

The Addams Family/Harry Potter

'Family Values' by Ishtar Petunia Dursley discovers that taking care of two small boys is too much for her, so she passes the guardianship of Harry Potter over to a distant relative — Morticia Addams. With Harry growing up in a very different type of Family, Dumbledore desperately tries to get him back. But the Harry Potter who finally arrives at Hogwarts, along with his "cousins" Pugsley and Wednesday, will be nothing like what Dumbledore expects.

The Addams Family/Rise of the Guardians

'Nightmares for Christmas' by Neyiea Not all children are happy that their nightmares have disappeared, and as such North finds himself receiving a very unexpected letter several days before Christmas.

Big Hero 6/The Martian

'Big Hero Martian' by althor42 There would have been no rescue for Mark, if NASA had not noticed he was still alive. Unless of course, a certain Big Hero noticed instead.

Big Hero 6/Marvel

'Magnets for Trouble' by PitViperOfDoom Months after Callaghan's downfall, Hiro receives a surprise in the mail: a special invitation to this year's Stark Expo. With Fred for company, he leaves the protection of the city temporarily in the hands of the rest of the team and flies across the country to meet the man with twice the brains and bank account of Alistair Krei and several times the infamy.

But of course, it can't be that simple, can it? Really, after how his last expo went, he should have seen this coming.

Bleach/Free! Iwatobi Swim Club

'Teamwork for Hire' by junko After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest…

Bleach/Harry Potter

'Crazy=Genius' series by blackkat Minerva McGonagall isn't about to let Harry go back to the Dursleys after his first year. She finds an alternative, and along the way, Bazzard Black finds that he might have more family left than he'd ever thought.

'Lost Boys' by glacis After the Triwizard fiasco, Harry leaves Britain behind for a new life. Uryuu befriends Ichigo at a much younger age. Sirius escapes. Points converge and lost boys find a family. Isshin fails. So does Ryuuken. Kisuke finds a friend. Ukitake covers and cleans up. Fate changes.

'There May Be Some Collateral Damage' by metisket Ichigo's been ordered to go undercover at a magic school to bodyguard a kid named Harry Potter, and this would be fine, except that he's about as good at bodyguarding as he is at magic. And he considers it a good day, magic‐wise, if he hasn't set anything on fire.

Bleach/Hunger Games

'Storm the World with Reckless Abandon' by SSAerial So due to one of Urahara's failed experiments that Ichigo unluckily got a full blast of (because life hates him and trouble is attracted to him like a clingy fangirl he could do without), Ichigo ends up in a dystopian universe where people take perverse pleasure in watching kids fight to the death. Which just, no. So Panem now has to deal with a pissed of Ichigo who's determined to stop the Hunger Games and pummel Snow to the ground. And Panem doesn't have a snowball chance in hell in stopping him.

Bleach/Lord of the Rings

'Behold the Flowing Years' by Straight‐Outta‐Hobbiton Ichigo escapes his dimension to start anew, away from the memories of death and friendships past that he can't seem to put to rest. Rohan is a beautiful country, and Théoden is a good king, but evil only grows stronger within the borders of Mordor, and Ichigo finds himself once more forced to protect those whom he has grown to love.

Bleach/Marvel

'Foreign Recruit' by SSAerial Ichigo doesn't know where to start. He has no friends, no family, no personal attachments to the world he got dumped into. The Soul King never specified what he was supposed to do in a world where technology is ahead of its time and aliens and secret governments exist. As for the people he has to deal with… Well, it isn't like he hasn't dealt with colorful personalities before.

Bleach/Naruto

'All My Ghosts are at Rest' series by Zakad An older Ichigo and Uryu leave Soul Society and all its problems behind to search for the near-mythical homeland of a particular Shiba ancestor. They find the Elemental Countries and one little boy who is desperate need of a family.

'Bite' by blackkat Orochimaru and his sons crash‐land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what's coming.

'A New Home' by Rain1701 In an effort to save her life and freedom, Hitsugaya Toshiro winds up landing head‐first in the Naruto universe two months before the start of canon. Not much stays the same after that.

'Soul of Fire' by Zeionia aka Disturbed After being betrayed by Soul Society, Ichigo and his sisters leave Karakura behind to find shelter with the remains of their grandfather's clan in the Land of Fire. Instead of the peaceful life they were hoping for, they reach Konoha just as a new danger appears to threaten the Uzumaki. Heart‐broken and tired of fighting, will Ichigo be able to protect his sisters and his new home?

Bleach/Stargate

'Stardust' by Vathara What if some Alterans found another way to survive the Wraith? Five thousand years before the Stargate opens, contact with creatures of energy changes the way of life for an Alteran colony…

Card Captor Sakura/Harry Potter

'Cardcaptor Harry' by LunaStorm In which both Albus Dumbledore and Clow Reed would have done well to remember that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in any philosophy… or predicted by the most imprecise branch of magic…

Doctor Who/Marvel

'Alien Taskforce' by TheSovereigntyofReality Just because S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers didn't listen to Tony after the Battle of New York, it doesn't mean no one did.

Downton Abbey/Marvel

'Tony Stark Meets an Extremely Unimpressed Time Traveler, or, Thomas Barrow Makes a Surprisingly Good 21st Century Butler' by Alex51324 In which Tony Stark ditches a boring party, makes an addition to the household staff, throws a much better party, and tries not to sexually harass his new butler.

Or, In which Thomas Barrow has a little trouble getting home from the pub, is generally unimpressed with many aspects of the 21st century, never thought of himself as a conservative dresser before, and may or may not be falling in lust with his new employer.

Gilmore Girls/Stargate

'Physics of the Spin' by Mhalachai Rory Gilmore always thought she was Christopher Hayden's daughter, but things are a little more complicated than that…

Good Omens/Supernatural

'Misfire' by VivatRex Crowley finds himself in another universe; Aziraphale goes to fetch him. In the meantime, Team Free Will has to figure out what to do with the 6,000 year old demon that won't stay in a devil's trap and keeps rooting through Dean's vinyl collection. Shenanigans ensue.

Gundam Wing/Naruto

'Worlds Apart' by Mieren Something went horribly wrong and Duo and Naruto are in the wrong worlds. Ninja vs technology. How could this possibly go wrong?

Harry Potter/Marvel

'Behind the Shield' by GeeEs It was a good thing the new scientist, Dr. Harry Evans, was working out so well. Because nothing else was going Fury's way. And that was before Loki made off with the Tesseract and some of his people. Maybe AU to Mortem Cantor by Kyandua.

'How Harry Failed to Conquer New York' by Impossible_Insanity

'I See The Moon' by hctiB‐notsoB While on the run, Bruce meets a young man who speaks to the moon. He's probably not quite the sanest friend Bruce could have made, but, well… beggars can't be choosers.

'Mischief's Heir' series by mad_fairy Mostly Harry Potter with the addition of Loki in the first parts

'Mortem Cantor' by Kyandua After losing everything he holds dear, Harry Potter is thrust into a new world; one with Superheroes and evil Villains that make Voldemort look like a kitten. Struggling to survive in this new world - and, meanwhile, gaining the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. - he attempts to live a NORMAL life. But, he is Harry Potter after all... what could possibly go wrong?

'On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads' by Enigmaris Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.

'Safeguard' by esama The Chitauri invasion launches a whole new age – for everyone.

Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho

'Devoted' by Ookami‐chan Loving someone means seeing to it that they receive nothing but the very best of care. In all things.

'Healing Soul' by Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf Canon, IY slightly alternate ending, BG blend but more manga than anime; YYH boys' last year of school but otherwise through series, anime only.

'By Any Other Name' by Deviant Nature Kagome's return after an unexplained, prolonged absence leaves her family with questions she refuses to answer except to assure that it's over. While she attempts to readapt to the present, Kurama is feeling the pressures of human society's expectations. But the solutions to his troubles aren't as straight‐forward as he had hoped. Note: Unrated version is on MediaMiner.net as 'Par Tout Autre Nom'

Harry Potter/Ranma 1/2

'Harry Hibiki and the Philosopher's Stone' by USA_Tiger On the night Voldemort attacks the Potter's home, a completely different person finds Harry before Sirius Black or Hagrid. Harry is found and adopted by Nerima's very own eternal lost boy Ryoga Hibiki! Soon Harry will be joining his classmates at Hogwarts but how will Hogwarts handle this kind of Harry? And how does it affect the prophecy, what is the 'power he knows not?

Harry Potter/Sherlock

'The Avalon Seven' by sifshadowheart Major Non‐Canon A/U, Harry is treated for abuse and massive injuries by John Watson as a John Doe. To help solve the mystery of the battered boy John calls in his partner Sherlock — whose father has much more information about his patient than John ever thought possible. Turning to an old acquaintance, Siger Holmes contacts the Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Wallace…Harry's rightful guardian.

First several chapters will be covering Pre‐Hogwarts years, story starts with Harry at age four so it'll be a while before any sort of slash or real conflict happens. Very political fic with lots of twists and turns. Because the plot‐bunnies won't leave me alone!

'Magnificent' by esama The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.

'Whispers in Corners' by esama Everything started with a stumble — his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.

Harry Potter/Sherlock/Star Trek

'Harder Choices' by sifshadowheart Post‐Avalon Seven A/U…a.k.a. This is what happens when plot‐bunnies start mating and multiplying.

Hadrian saves Earth…at a cost

Hetalia/Naruto

'An Englishman in Konoha' by pupeez4eva Itachi Uchiha is a strange child, who regularly converses with things no one else can see, drinks far too much tea, and has a strong and unyielding obsession with being the best big brother ever (or, in a world where England is reborn into the Naruto universe, Itachi ends up a little…different).

The Hobbit/Sherlock

'All Things Old and New' by teacup_of_doom All around the world, people are remembering past lives. Bilbo Baggins discovers that Tookish streaks can span lifetimes — and can have unintended, hilarious, consequences.

Katekyou Hitman Reborn!/Naruto

'Force of Nature' by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) He had died— honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century— and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped.

Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age.

(In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

'Uchiha Kyōya' by Tsume_Yuki In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just…

The middle child.

Marvel/Sherlock

'In Which Neither Coulson nor Sherlock are Dead' by TheDullYellowEye … and John sort of joins the Avengers. While Coulson's recovering from being stabbed in the chest by a magical spear, Fury is rapidly running out of Agents willing to play babysitter for the newly founded Avengers. So he calls in Captain John Watson, late of the British Royal Army, and blogger and best friend to the infamously antisocial presumably deceased Sherlock Holmes.

Naruto/One Piece

'Lost Uzumaki' by Silver Dragonfly (lillikira) Shanks was used to strange meetings on the various islands of the Grand Line. However, this one was unusual even for the Grand Line. A Lost Uzumaki is found and Naruto has no plans of not becoming part of his family. (A Series of Snapshots about the finding of lost family.)

Naruto/Pern

'One World's Tragedy is Another World's ...Gain?' by Foodmoon Pern goes to hell in a handbasket. Ir'ca tries to rescue the future of dragonkind by being a thief and somehow ends up in the Land of Fire. It's probably a good thing Kakashi handed over the Hat a while back...

Naruto/Sherlock

'Deduction in Shadows' by GremlinSR Shikaku just wanted to finish his paperwork before lunch so he could squeeze in an afternoon nap. His plans are derailed by a six year old orphan when she sneaks into his office with proof that somebody has been kidnapping the children of Konoha and covering it up.

He never does end up getting that nap.

Or: A Holmes is reborn into the ninja village Konoha. Chaos ensues

Rise of the Guardians/Marvel

'Constellations of Old' by kuroi_atropos When the Man in the Moon recognizes Thor as a representative of Asgard, he decides to send the Guardians of Childhood to ask for help vanquishing the last of shadows, as well as a few other things he could use some help with.

'Winter Gods' by avearia The Guardians discover that, outside of Earth, many races actually worship Jack as a God. Meanwhile, the Avengers deal with the implications that come with an almighty spirit, otherworldly religions, and the revelation that Santa is real.

SUGAR HIGH, chapter xvi. (w. JJK)

You're not entirely sure when it happened, though you'd come to terms with it. You'd counted the days, waiting for the inevitable. You'd truly thought you'd be okay, but by the broken, half-beating thing in your chest - you knew you'd never really been prepared.

alt summary.  You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.

pairing.  jeon jungkook.  mentions/involvement of ot7.

tags.  angst, break up, post-break up, comfort, OT7, slow burn, friendship, moving on, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, emotional baggage, fluff, canon compliant, jeon jungkook is bad at feelings, jeon jungkook is a good friend, jeon jungkook is a sweetheart.

rating.  general 

word count.  1550

chapter 16.  Ending Scene

Now, that's a question.  He knew his reasonings were poor - unfettered doubts with no bearings - but they existed, nonetheless.  How could they not when they'd sat in the cavern of his chest for the better part of his life, unattended like a wilting garden? It was simply an unfortunate consequence of unrequited love.

Weeds grew where hands couldn't reach.  It was neither your fault nor his.

"Say it again.”  He means it like a question but it fills you like a demand, sloping your mouth around syllables you'd repeat until you were hoarse.

"I love you.”  The kiss he rewards you with is breathtaking, quite literally tearing the air from your lungs with the intensity of it.  "I love you,”  you repeat like a mantra, if only to draw that same fire from him.  You want him just as badly as he needs you and you revel in the realization and the power it brings.  You're drunk on it.

He keens against you, edging at your throat and smiling giddily when the profession never stops.  "I could listen to you say that forever,”  he admits, easily, with little shame.

"I could say it forever.”  And you could.  You'd give him this, every day, for the rest of his life.  It'd be as easy as breathing, you think.  That was the power of your love.  It existed in every action and inaction.  Unconditional, as it should be and as it had been since you'd been children.

The frame of his arms holds you relentlessly, crushing you to his chest as he exhales the happiest noise you've ever heard.  He's back to being the boy you love, if not a little waterlogged.  You can still feel the wet of your tears and his, carved into your cheeks and anywhere he'd brushed against.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

It's honeycomb, scratchy and saccharine, sinking behind your molars and all over your hands.  It sends you miles over the moon, flying on a sugar rush you don't want to come down from.  Each kiss, each caress - it's another inch given into your addiction.

You don't mind.  Really, you'd happily perish if it meant going out this way.

You roll your eyes at the beautiful boy in your arms and it hurts a little, strained from saltwater.  "Why didn't you tell me sooner?”  The return is tender as always, further softened by the hand that drags the length of his cheekbone and settles affectionately on his shoulder.

"There was never a good time.  You were always in a relationship or...  something.”  As if that's the most obvious thing in the world, though you find meaning further than he intends, catching all the things left unsaid in between.

You pass a kiss over his temple, tickled pink by the soft tendrils of off-blue and not-black.  "I wasn't always in a relationship,”  you insist.  It's true.  There'd been times throughout the years that you'd been alone.

No, not alone.  You'd had him.

"You know what I mean.”  He mumbles his response into the stained satin of your neck, nosing softly there.  "You were either in a relationship or getting over one and I didn't ever want to be a last resort.”  Your heart aches when he puts his concerns to you, lets them linger in the spaces he can't fill with his physical self.  "I wanted you to be with me for me."

You know how hard the words are for him.  It'd taken him years and years to come to terms with his emotions - in all aspects of his life.  Even now, he was still growing, learning, evolving in ways you couldn't even begin to fathom.  It was, after all, one of realities of being an international superstar.  He had to grow up so fast.

You appreciate every verbalization he offers, tucking vowels and consonants into the corners of your heart for safekeeping.

"Jeon Jungkook, I'll always love you for you.”  You've caught him in your line of fire again, cradling his sharp jaw in the palms of your hands.  He tries not to meet your gaze - directs it to the freckle on your shoulder - but you remain steadfast.  "You’re my best friend.  Have been my whole life."

There's a sadness in your voice that creeps his eyes back to you, purely out of concern for your well-being.

"How could you ever think I wouldn't want you?"

Now, that's a question.  He knew his reasonings were poor - unfettered doubts with no bearings - but they existed, nonetheless.  How could they not when they'd sat in the cavern of his chest for the better part of his life, unattended like a wilting garden? It was simply an unfortunate consequence of unrequited love.

Weeds grew where hands couldn't reach.  It was neither your fault nor his.

"Couldn't help it.”  Another half-answer.  You've had enough of those.

With a strength that surprises even you, your mouth finds his.  Lips mould and meld, reshaping in a new kind of promise.  Like the ones you'd always made, but with fewer parts.  Better, in a way.  "I'll make it up to you."

"You have nothing to make up for."

You're not sure whether he believes it but you sure as hell don't.  You'd put him through hell these past few weeks - made him wade through an inferno like some poor soul - and here he was, soothing your ache as if it were his own.

"But I do,”  you pepper kisses over his nose, insistent.  "I have years and years to make up for."

He scoffs, rough and low.  Not because he doubts the intensity of your words, but because he's suddenly very amused by a thought.  "I don't think you could make up for fifteen years, no matter how hard you tried.  It just isn't possible, realistically."

The smugness on his face only acts as an accelerant to your actions.  You're crowding every inch of him in chaste pecks, from the top of his head - which smells vaguely of hairspray and his shampoo - to the faded scar.  You leave no patch of skin unattended, taking his words as an unnecessary challenge.

You linger at his cheeks, the taste of salt stilling your persistent motions.

He takes that as an unspoken forfeiture, his own hands shifting to draw you away until he can see you clearly.  When he glimpses the consternation in your brow, mockery flies out the proverbial window, instead replaced by concern.  "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

You've said it enough times tonight that he shakes his head, laughter dragging his shoulders and filling your senses.  "Stop saying that."

"I can't,”  you retort, fingers tracing the path his tears had carved.  They're stark beneath your touch, distinct by the natural flush of his skin beneath the carefully applied makeup.  "I hate seeing you cry."

Jungkook's head tilts, eyelids fluttering closed as he nuzzles into your caress.  "And I hate you seeing you cry, but you do it all the time anyway.”  It's meant to make you laugh.  When you don't immediately, he pries an eye open, surveying you closely.  Your lips are pursed and you're not quite meeting his eyes, instead focused on the sadness that has long since dissipated.

"I'm serious.”  You're pouting and he thinks it looks too good on you.  It shouldn't, but it does.

"So am I.  Stop it.  I just told you I love you."

The reminder does perk you up, if only a little.  He sees it swimming in the back of your gaze, just beyond the worry that circles like sharks.

“Shouldn’t you be jumping for joy or something?”  Brow lifts, quirks high, and for a moment, all of the tension in your expression is gone.  You study him steadily, thumbs brushing the delicate hollows of his eyes and where the cut little crow’s feet imprint. 

“I think your fame is getting to your head.”  It’s gently teasing, soft as feathers.

There’s the girl he loves – the sweet thing who picks him up when he’s down, who has him full belly laughing without trying.  It feels so utterly good to have you here like this, wrapped in his arms and held like you’re meant to be.  It’s the best feeling in the world.  He won’t even let your half-hearted teasing deter him.  “It’s actually your fault,”  he drawls into your palm, a satisfied humming chasing the words out.

“How is it my fault?”  You’re scandalized in inflection only, soothing ministrations drawing his head to rest in the crook of your neck.  He inhales deeply, like you’re a breath of fresh air. 

“You’ve given me everything I could ever want.  My ego’s pretty big cause of that.”

It’s so matter of fact that it leaves you speechless, your fingers pausing in their gentle combing through his hair.  It makes him laugh, the breath spilling over your violet-marked skin.  His hands smooth over your sides, across the small of your back, settling happily into the pliable flesh of your thighs.  “What?” 

Honestly, you’re not even sure.  You’ve traded affections all your life, pressing them into linked fingers and childish giggle fits.  “You can’t just say things like that!” 

“Why not?”  Jungkook’s looking at you like you’re crazy.  There was no way in hell he was about to tone down his feelings for you when you’d just finally – finally! – gotten over the biggest hurdle.  No, he’d shout it from the rooftops, crush you with the weight of it.  He hopes you won’t mind.

When you drag his chin, tilt his face towards yours with hands that feel deliberate, he blinks owlishly up at you.  He’s not sure what you’re looking to convey – he can’t read it in the constellations swirling in your irises.  He wishes he could.

But he’ll settle for the words that come instead, filling him with all the light of the stars.  “I love you.”

notes.  hello, dear reader!  thank you for sticking through this tiny whirlwind of emotion.  for the most part, this story has been wrapped up.  they love each other!  they're gross and perfect!

i will be continuing their story with a bunch of one-shots detailing their relationship and the ups and downs.  there won't be a lot of rhyme or reason - just things i want to get out.  mainly stories that explore their dynamic, really.  their first date, meeting while on tour, etc.  these will be done under a different title (but as part of the same “series”).  if there's anything you'd like to read, please let me know.

i appreciate you sticking it out to this point.  wishing you healthy and happy!  xo

Survey #349

“we’ll meet again, when both our cars collide”

When was the last time you had a PopTart? It's been many, many months. Do you like hot chocolate? Well duh. Who made you laugh the hardest today? I haven't really laughed today. Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? Hmph. Would you ever jump into a fire to save your bestfriend? I know I would. Do you have a callus from writing too much? No, I only have calluses on my feet from when I used to walk for hours on end. They just never permanently went away, even with grooming. Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dread to guess what the girl Jason dated after me was told about me. I shouldn't care at all, but I do. I have every reason to accurately be defined as "the crazy ex," and I fucking hate it. Who is your best guy friend? Girt, a friend from high school. Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? I did as a kid, but now I don't. I just kinda stand and eat. What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? I kinda burnt the roof of my mouth on pizza the other night. Do you know anyone with a lip piercing? Me, haha. I know others, too. What did the last tattoo you saw, look like? I don't remember. Have you ever given birth? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Do you enjoy making out? I mean if I'm in the mood to and I love you, yeah. Why exactly do you take surveys? "I genuinely like doing them and they’re great for venting and sorting out thoughts and whatnot. I can just ramble and get things off my chest." <<<< This right here covers it. As well, it's just a boredom killer. And I happen to be bored very, very often. Rockband or Gutair Hero? Both are great, why choose just one? What are you listening to right now? Halocene's cover of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. It's beautiful. What kind of energy drinks do you drink, if any? None, because I just can't do energy drinks. They taste like pure poison to me. Have you ever been swimming in a river? No. Swimming in a river sounds pretty dangerous... Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. When you broke stuff in the house as a child, did you blame it on siblings? I'm hoping you don't mean breaking deliberately, 'cuz I wasn't that kind of kid. But anyway, I don't believe I did. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes. I was obSESSED with those games as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? Tigers, probably. They're so stealthy and, while I may be entirely wrong, seem like the top candidate of the three to attack a human, be it for food or defense. And have you SEEN the muscles on a tiger? Christ. Describe the best use that you’ve found for duct tape: Uh, taping things lmao. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags? I use gift bags, because I can't wrap for shit. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's is really gross to me. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Just giant squid... *shudders* Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? No. I did, however, purchase something on deviantART and never got the product. It was going to be a present for Jason. In dA's defense though, I've bought like... two or three other things from there, and there were zero issues. It's really about the people you trust. If you get a call that says “Unknown”, do you answer it? Nnnnope. Do you have any bobble head figures? No. Have your parents ever left you somewhere without realizing it? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. Did your last kiss mean anything to you? Well yeah, I wouldn't have kissed her otherwise. Would you say that you have a nice smile? No; I've been self-conscious of it since I was a kid, mostly because one of my eyes looks more squinty than the other, but they both are to me. I've always said I look high when I smile lmao. Is there an ex you want to make up with? My mind immediately screams "Jason," but I know that's a horrendous idea. Our last talk ended peacefully and even with care and good wishes, and I need my fucking impenetrable head to accept that's where it needs to end. He does NOT need to re-enter my life. It would be so bad for me. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I have no memory of it, if I'm being honest. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? None. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Really? Whoever reads these lmao. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core and how every student's school experience was not tailored towards their unique goals. Like they try to cram a shitload of identical and usually useless information into a kid's brain to make them a jack of all trades, you could say, but not enough information they need to properly pursue their career future. It causes such an unnecessary amount of frustration and stress. I have many, many complaints about the education system, but this one tops the list. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Back in college, I would just do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Well, considering I'm bisexual... Do you remember life without the internet? No. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've gone my entire life thinking I'm ugly, if I'm being real. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 a fucking hour. :'''''') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? There's a few people. What is your first memory of being in a hospital? Considering my mom worked at the local hospital when I was a kid, I remember being there quite, quite young, playing with my older sister in Mom's and her coworkers' room. I think Nicole was too young to really "play." Do you have any relatives with red hair? No. What is something good that has happened to you in the past week? I got my first Covid vaccine. My arm hurts like a motherfucker now, but to protect my mom, it's worth it. Please get vaccinated. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? That's never been my business. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I would go to a local one if I could actually walk five feet without being in serious pain and sweating like a pig. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? I can't remember, but it was recent, because we all met at Ashley's house for Nicole's birthday celebration. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Pretty much never, given they all lived no less than like, 10 hours (via car) from where we lived. My immediate family are the only people in NC. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Stay out of it, but admittedly try to listen just to know what's going on. Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Yeah. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I survive off of microwaveable freezer food, so this is very hard... uhhhhh... perhaps this Banquet bowl meal that's mac 'n cheese with spicy chicken. It's absolutely delicious, like you'd never guess that sucker was just popped in the microwave. I'd say I eat it a moderate amount; it's a reliable option if Mom's not cooking and I'm really hungry, because it's super filling. Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? I enjoy them, particularly when they're about animals. Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Ha, speak of mac 'n cheese. I love it, and Kraft makes it fine. Do you burn incense? Not as much as I used to. I love the smell and just general vibe, though. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Going to a bar or something. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? In the head, anyway. Is there anything currently bothering you? Multiple things. Would you say that you’ve got something ‘special’ about you? No. Do you like things vampire-related? I don't really have an opinion on vampire stuff. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past? I don't care. Have you ever been to a casino? No. What’s the last thing you wore a costume for besides Halloween related events? Back when I still took dance classes and we had the yearly recital. What does your father do for a living? He's a mailman. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? Haha, I re-downloaded this ollllldddd game I had before, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space (or something like that?) for my niece to play. She's hooked on it now. Are you in any discomfort right now? Yeah; as I mentioned, my arm really hurts. What do you know the most about? Of all things I know, almost certainly meerkats. Are you seeing anyone? No. Have you ever hooked back up with an ex, just for sex? Was it a mistake or no? No. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using a phone in class? No, because I didn't use my phone in class. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? No, which is a fucking crime. I need to see the last one. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty plenty plenty. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Yeah, myself included. If you had to live in an extreme environment — think Sahara, Antarctica, under the sea, on the Moon— where would you want to live? Why? Probably Antarctica. I'm sure it would be unpleasant, being that cold, but I feel there's more you can do about being cold than being in the scalding heat of, say, the Sahara. Living on the moon or in the deep ocean sounds super sucky. How was your day overall? It's been okay. Not as bored as usual, at least. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... zero. I want to say my dad, and I almost do, just... nightmares make that very, very difficult. Plus his past. What does your mom call you? Normally just "Britt." Write a sentence in another language: Oh god, my German is so rusty... uhhhh... Hallo, ich heiße Brittany, und ich bin 25 Jahre alt und wohne in North Carolina. I think I got the grammar right? Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Even if I was comfortable with my body, I would be way too paranoid to at any point have a naked picture on my phone, even if I deleted it. Like, hello blackmail, but also, nothing you delete is ever really gone permanently. What big city do you live near? Raleigh is like an hour away. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? omg YES Is there a Sonic in your area? Yes, it's my favorite fast food joint. You have GOT to try the pretzel twists with cheese dip. Have you ever gone to a thrift store? Yeah, I love 'em. Do you think Johnny Depp is attractive? I do. Are you happy with the state you live in? No, not at all. I hate this place. Bunch of homophobic, racist rednecks. How many times have you seen the opposite sex naked? It's not like I counted every time I saw my ex naked over three and half years lmao. How many times have you seen the same sex naked? A few times. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? I don't use a calendar. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!! :''') I know I can't stop talking about it, but ugh I'm so excited. May 19th, c'mon already. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I used to as a kid. Not so much anymore. Are you in debt right now? For what? Oh god, I don't want to think of this. Would you ever work night crew? I really, really wouldn't want to. Humans are diurnal for a reason. Being awake in constant darkness would depress the fuck outta me, and it'd feel so lonely, with everyone I know asleep. Who was the last person that lied to you, or that you can recall lying to you? What did they lie about? How did you find out they were lying? I don't remember. Has anyone ever called you ugly, straight up, before? How did you react to this? No, not to my face. Who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? MY MOTHER.

Wes for the full clear on the OC asks? 😘😘😘

— OC QUESTIONS

BASICS

What’s their full name? Wesley Daniel Brooks

What does their name mean? Why were they named that? Wesley means “western meadow,” Daniel means “God is my judge,” and Brooks means “stream.” You can find my real world reasoning for choosing his name here. As for the canon reasoning, Wesley is a family name on his father’s side and Daniel is a good Christian name. 

Do they have any nicknames? Lots. Wes is the big one (Hwes if you’re Hurk Jr.), Rook, Dep (Deputy if you're as extra as John Seed), Bright Eyes (Raf only), Sundance (Nick only), Darling (Lyra, when she’s being cheeky), and probably a handful more that I’m forgetting.

How old are they? 28, almost 29 as of the start of FC5.

When’s their birthday? November 11, 1989

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance? Scorpio sun, Aries moon, Aquarius rising. Year of the snake. Birthstones are topaz and citrine. He isn’t aware enough of any of this to believe in it.

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities? He is a natural disaster in human form. His special ability is that he somehow manages to survive that for as long as he does.

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor? A revolver (Steel & Ivory), a sawed-off shotgun (Sin Eater), or basic hand-to-hand. Close combat is preferable to range. He also uses homemade C4 in his tireless crusade against cult infrastructure.

APPEARANCE

What do they look like? He’s 6′3″, has brown-ish hair (specifically, a warm golden bronze color) and hazel eyes with long eyelashes. Fit, moderate-to-lean build. Sharp features, angular jaw, a pronounced Cupid’s bow. He has the facial hair of a man who has forgotten to shave for two weeks, because he is—you guessed it—a man who has forgotten to shave for two weeks.

Do they have a face claim? Tomas Skoloudik

What’s their style like? Clothes, hair, makeup? Casual clothing—flannels (often tied around the waist), t-shirts, henleys, jeans, boots, jewelry (gold, leather), leather jacket, cargo jacket. His hair is messy and soft, just like he is, because he doesn’t overload it with hair products unlike some people. He’s got an ouroboros tattooed around the lower part of his right forearm and (universe-dependent) John and Lyra’s names on the inside of his wrists.

How do they carry themselves? What’s their default expression? He attempts to project swagger and indifference, but to anyone who knows him and is paying attention, he’s an open book. In a comfortable environment, he’s loose and casual. His default expression is fixated if he has something to occupy his mind and distant if he doesn’t.

Do they have any physical ailments or disabilities? No, but he’s got bruises and flesh wounds aplenty! He’s got bite marks and scratches galore! You want knife-slashing scars? He’s got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. Wes wants mooooore! 🎵

PERSONALITY

What’s their alignment? Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral

Which one of the 16 Personality Types do they fit into? ISFP

What are their hobbies and interests? Do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)? I answered for his favorite films and TV here, and his favorite book is Watership Down. He likes the Beatles and bar snacks and black coffee. His favorite cultists are Lyra, John, and Shaggy—please don’t judge him.

What are they bad at? Dancing!

What kind of things do they dislike/hate? Hates being controlled, dislikes very sweet things.

Do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses? Impulsiveness, reactive behaviors. He smokes and drinks, although neither of those are done with a shocking amount of excess. Previously, harder drugs. 

What are their goals and motivations? Freedom and acceptance.

What are their manners like? Any habits? He’s not a jerk; he has passable manners when the situation calls for them, but Emily Post would like him not. His habits are covered in much more detail here, but the big one is that he tends to busy his hands and/or mouth with things wherever possible.

What are they most afraid of? Rejection, abandonment, enclosed spaces, death (specifically, the possibility of an afterlife). 

BACKGROUND

Where were they born? What was their childhood like? Born in Hope County. He was an only child and his home life was suspect, but made moderately more bearable by his best friend. Once he realized trying to please his father was a losing battle, he said hell yeah to a downward spiral of rebelliousness and troublemaking.

What’s their family like? His dad was a jerk of the sort that would never be satisfied. Big on toxic masculinity, short on acceptance. His mother loved him, but she fell in line more often than not.

What factions or organizations are they a part of? What ranks and titles do they hold? Hope County Sheriff’s Office (probationary sheriff’s deputy), Hope County Resistance (figurehead, pot stirrer, problem magnet). 

How do they fit into their “story”? Barely. Next question. I hate to use this word yet again, but it’s the only one that fits: his story is mostly about acceptance—self, fate, fault, sorrow, joy—because as much as he desired acceptance from others, he denied a lot of it for himself.

Where do they currently live? What’s their place like? He grew up in the Silver Lake trailer park, way up on the northeastern end of Holland Valley, near the Whitetails. For the duration of the game timeline, I picture him spending more time crashing where he can—with the Ryes, in the woods, wherever—but his own place would be sparse and fairly untidy, with clothes tossed everywhere. 

How do they eventually die? Wesley intends to live forever. How dare you insinuate—

RELATIONSHIPS

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend? Within the timeline of the game, he has quite a few. Raf is his best friend (and has been since they were kids), but Nick (and Kim) are both up there. He has a soft spot for Mary May; that seems to be reciprocal. He appreciates Grace because she doesn’t ask unnecessary questions. Sharky and Hurk offer unconditional friendship, which he appreciates and sorely needs. Adelaide is the vodka aunt who thirsts after his ex. She tries to rile him up sometimes (in a myriad of ways), but he likes her. And if you account for other universes, his friend count goes way up thanks to the various and sundry brat squad kids.

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it? When he was younger, he was the introvert-adopted-by-an-extrovert. He was a bit too withdrawn to have friends outside of that, though he wasn’t unfriendly. For a bulk of the current timeline, his friend group is “ragtag misfits” status and he basically gets ping-ponged between them as they try—with varying amounts of success—to fight a cult.  

What’s their love life like? (See also: ship question meme.) Do they have any kids? Depends on the universe. In canon, it’s messy but becomes significantly healthier later on. His previous relationship was promising and likely would have been ideal, except that they were young and unable (or unready) to deal with the realities of their situation. In AU, he is enemies-with-benefits but also grossly in love with the Judge of Eden’s Gate and her husband (who was a fun surprise, but it’s fine, because Wes got Lyra back by giving her a gracious two-for-one deal on children)!

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust? Whitehorse is something of a father figure, though Wes would never say that out loud. For the record, neither would Whitehorse (at least not directly to Wes)—mostly for Wes’s benefit. He trusts Raf, Pastor Jerome, and the rest of his friends listed above.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies? Joseph, because Joseph is daddy issues incarnate. Jacob, because Jacob understands Wes well enough to yank him around like a dog on a leash. By the time the Collapse hits, everyone is his enemy to some extent (as evidenced by the adorable horns and pointy tails drawn all over his wanted posters). Notable exceptions are John, Sharky, Hurk, and Whitehorse; however, all but the first are functionally unknown to him.

Do they have any pets? Just Boomer, who is the best emotional support animal a disaster could ask for.

Are they good with kids? Animals? He’s naturally good with both children and animals, but he lacks practical experience, especially with the former (shout-out to the Ryes for finally adding that to his resume).

FUN FACTS

Which tropes do they fit? Which archetypes? Tropewise, he’s Troubled, but Cute and I can’t refute it; apart from the high school thing, it’s a full BINGO clear. He’s also Bruiser with a Soft Center, Inferiority Superiority Complex, Cosmic Plaything, Desperately Craves Affection, Hero with Bad Publicity, I Am Not My Father, and almost certainly a whole host of shameful others that I don’t dare brave the rest of TVTropes to find. Of the twelve classic archetypes, he’s some combination of The Hero and The Outlaw. Otherwise: fallen angel, antihero, byronic hero, prodigal son. 

Do they play any instruments? Sports? He can play guitar, but only at an intermediate level. He’s not big on sports, but he can ice skate and he likes to swim.

What are some items they always carry? Steel & Ivory and a lighter; later, Sin Eater. In New Dawn he carries John’s watch.

Do they collect anything? Bad decisions. Minicultists, apparently. Nothing in particular.

What position do they sleep in? His default position when he’s alone and in a comfortable place is on his belly. There are exceptions listed in greater detail here.

Which emoji would they use the most? Honestly, he’s not really the type to use emojis, but he will send his love interest pictures of things he likes or finds pretty with no context. Otherwise, his texts tend to be short, to-the-point, and lacking in punctuation or capitalization. Believe it or not, he’d much rather communicate in person. My most frequently used emojis for him are 🍰 and 🐍. (Awww, cake and snake... They rhyme. How precious!)

What languages do they speak? English. He knows a limited amount of Spanish, but he’s better at understanding it than he is at speaking it.

What’s their favorite expletive? Damn or fuck.

What’s their favorite candle scent? Pine.

What songs remind you of them? I have a playlist for him here, but it—much like him—is a bit of a mess. I also have a playlist based on his own taste in music here.

Which animal would you say represents them? Snakes, stags, swans, scorpions.

What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into? Loners or troublemakers, probably. Stoners on a technicality—he doesn’t fit the stereotype, but he does have a history. He has some of the soul of an art kid but, tragically, none of the talent.

What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be? At a real amusement park, probably the roller coasters. At something more lowkey like a carnival, he’d like the classic, aesthetically pleasing rides like the Ferris wheel or the carousel.

Do they believe in aliens? Ghosts? Reincarnation or something else? He’s not an “I Want to Believe” sort of guy, but he still can’t explain the Larry Parker debacle. He tries very hard not to believe (or at least not to think about) any sort of afterlife, because he fears it.

Do they follow any religions/gods? Do they celebrate holidays? His family was Catholic, but he endeavors not to be. He likely wouldn’t celebrate holidays as a bachelor overmuch, but he would take part in holiday activities with others.

Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue? Pride and Fortitude.

If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, which would it be? The Tower, The Devil, The Wheel of Fortune.

Looking at Edelgards wiki page, and aside from all the spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes and horrible sentence structure, dear LORD is it filled with such vague, unspecific language to make her look better. Saying in "some endings" she passes on the role of Emperor to someone else while in others she "rules for an unspecified time" to support she steps down after the war, completely ignoring Lysitheas ending where she rules for the rest of her life and not clarifying the specific (1/3)

numbers of endings where she retires (I counted, its two, and even then only in her later years). Crimson Flower apparently ends "much faster" than the other routes instead of directly stating its three months faster. Saying she only spoke so harshly to Dimitri before executing him to allow him to "hate her" until the end (how compassionate of her /s, also I cannot find any proof of this in the script so either I'm missing something or the editor is just posting headcanons). (2/3)

All in all, Edelgards entire personality wiki section is a complete joke. The person that wrote it should have their editing priviledges removed. (3/3)

I mean we know who is making all of those edits. It’s our resident contrarian that people were sending a dozen asks about yesterday. It just comes off as another of many poorly thought out arguments, since they keep pointing to specific supports or text in the game when that’s... Not really necessary. We all played the game, you only do that shit when you’re trying to win an argument.

Honestly if I were in control of the page it’d look more like this:

Edelgard holds herself with a dignified air, but full of melancholy and solemn wistfulness. which can make her appear outwardly cold. As heir of the Adrestian Empire, she is an exemplary student and a natural leader. She keeps a modest stoic front. rarely cutting loose and maintains formality. She rarely cuts loose and maintains formality at all times. Her colleagues classmates (who the fuck calls the people they went to school with “colleagues”?) express great surprise whenever she does relax. While She is generally a private person, she does recognize the importance of her duties and expresses confidence and faith in the abilities of her allies. and she is rarely shown opening up to other people.(the previous line did not make sense, her recognizing the importance of duty has no relationship to being a private person).

She is a capable dancer, having taught Dimitri at a young age and has a talent for drawing portraits, though she is embarrassed to show them to others. (These really belong in a separate “skills” section but whatever the wiki doesn’t appear to have that category for this game). She has a personal nickname, El, of whom which she only allows very close individuals, namely her family, to call her.

Though she tries to keep it a secret, Edelgard is deathly afraid of rats, as they remind her of a past she is uncomfortable with. Edelgard is deathly afraid of rats since they remind her of a past she is uncomfortable with, though she tries to keep this fact a secret. She is also fears afraid of the ocean since because she cannot swim.

Edelgard is far more complex than she initially appears, as she had been scheming to dismantle the corrupt systems of Fódlan, namely the influence of the Church of Seiros, the oppression of the Crest systems, and the hidden machinations of the Agarthans. Driven by her desire to remove these influences, she is willing to sacrifice both her life and reputation as she believes that the only means of achieving her goals is through war and sometimes underhanded tactics. (Such unnecessary fluff). Edelgard will use whatever it takes to achieve her goals, using all three of the aforementioned systems begrudgingly as they are the current means for her to amass any sort of power and influence in order to instigate meaningful change in them. Edelgard is extremely driven, and she is willing to use whatever it takes to achieve her goals. This is evidenced by her willingness to work with Those Who Slither in the Dark, as she believes they are the only ones who can help her amass enough power to achieve her ends.

Edelgard strongly believes that the ends will justify the means if she were to win the war, as she despises the structure of Fódlan society and believes it has to be replaced by a more just system under which humanity can flourish. In the Azure Moon route she states she went to war after weighing all options and determined that it would be much faster with far fewer casualties than to continue on in the continent's current state. This is reflected through the Crimson Flower route that ends much sooner than the other two, albeit a later war is impending against the remaining Agarthians, where she manages to wipe them all out, compared to the other routes where the Agarthans survive to return at a later time. As a result, she does realize the gravity of her orders but chooses to remain steadfast in her belief in improving society for everyone. She also does not desire to remain Emperor for too long as according to a tea time conversation with her, Edelgard states she has no intention of handing the throne to any children she might have, instead planning to pass it on to someone brilliant and kind, which a few endings do, while others she rules for an unspecified time. (Literally this entire paragraph is unnecessary fluff.)

Dimitri has had a significant impact on her life as the two are step-siblings when her mother Anselma married King Lambert under the name "Patricia." In their childhood, neither were aware of their relationship to each other, but they were close nonetheless, with Dimitri affectionately calling her "El" which only those particularly close to her are allowed to call her. Dimitri gifted her a dagger which she held well into the present, which was symbolically meant to tell her to carve out her own ideals and face the numerous hardships she had to endure up until the present. If met at the Goddess Tower during the Academy Phase, she admits that her first love was a Faerghus noble who she cannot recall, implied to be Dimitri. Despite her past feelings towards him, it is heavily implied for most of the game that Edelgard no longer remembers Dimitri nor that he gifted her the dagger, possibly as a result of her trauma from the experiments. In the Azure Moon route, she accepts Dimitri's invitation to parley on a whim. Despite failing to come to an understanding with one another to end the war peacefully, she is nonetheless able to express her gratitude to him for the dagger and the strength it provided her when he reminds her that it was a parting gift from him. (Everything in this paragraph would really be more at home in a separate “relationships” subcategory, which this wiki also does not feature.)

Edelgard's personality and ambitions are a result of tragedies that painted her view of the world. The traumatic imprisonment of her siblings and herself due to the experiments of Those Who Slither in the Dark created her hatred of Crests.  Edelgard’s personality and ambitions are a direct result of the suffering she faced at the hands of TWSITD. Her imprisonment and the subsequent experimentation on herself and her family were a key factor in her disillusionment with Fódlan and the Church of Seiros. (Don’t ask me how she got to that conclusion. Also take a shot for every time this dude uses the word “tragic”.) She also despises most nobility, especially the Adrestian Nobles, as they are partially responsible for the circumstances leading to said experiments, but also due to the fact that Crests are used as societal leverage by most nobles as a sign of their prestige. She even shows sympathy and pity to Miklan, whom she praises for becoming a leader despite being disowned and leading a group of bandits, calling his death "a waste". One of her main goals is to dismantle the current nobility system and having the people earn their position by merit rather than birthright, which she achieves in her ending in the Crimson Flower path. (More fluff.)

Edelgard has a complex view of the current Church of Seiros as her tragic history with the Insurrection of the Seven along with the knowledge given by her father regarding the truth of the War of Heroes paints her radical opinion. She bears a large distrust of Rhea due to her withholding of knowledge and context behind the history of the church, even pointing out some of the Church's hypocrisy of remaining neutral across Fódlan, yet allowing the Crest system to flourish that Edelgard despises. She does not fully dismiss the concept of faith however, even allowing it to continue to exist in her rule, though heavily monitored by the Empire. (Oh hey Edelstan is acknowledging her state run religion at least) She even tries to learn more about it from Manuela but does not plan on ever becoming a devout follower by any means. When as an enemy, however, she will cause those who are faithful to be afraid for their lives and flee the Empire. However, during Crimson Flower, several Knights of Seiros that have become unnerved by Rhea flee to the Empire, while those involved with the Church in the Empire flee for the Eastern, but then flee to Faerghus due to lack of a military. (Fluff.)

Despite this, Edelgard expresses fear and anxiety over the consequences of her actions her chosen path should Byleth side with her in Crimson Flower, as she understands that she would be her actions make her responsible for the deaths loss of countless lives. (lmao “the deaths of countless lives”) This is proven further when Randolph and Ladislava die defending Garreg Mach from the Church, and how she laments that another life is lost in the war because of her choices. She mourned Dimitri's death, letting herself be hated by Dimitri to the end by speaking harshly to him to let his perception of her remain, lamenting how she could not save him from Thales's manipulation. (wut) Dimitri's death struck her to the point that Byleth questioned if Edelgard was crying, which she denied, claiming that the Edelgard who cried had perished years ago.

Edelgard's relationship with Byleth greatly affects her personality and fate in the war. Edelgard admits in her support that she feared expresses fear that she would have become "a harsh ruler with a heart of ice" if she had to walk her path alone. In the other routes where she is not taught by them or where Byleth sides with the church against her, this becomes a reality and ultimately leads to her early demise. This is likely expressed in the conversation with Dimitri, where, in the Japanese version, she retorts Dimitri's statement over the lessons he learned with his friends and Byleth with her stating that he can understand that because he has what she lacks, referencing how Edelgard felt Byleth was the only one she could consider an equal that is not bound by status but simply as Edelgard. As her enemy, Edelgard will express regret that the two did not walk the same path and even find some semblance of closure falling to Byleth's sword in the Silver Snow and Verdant Wind paths. Should they choose to support her, she has a far easier time expressing kindness and regret over her actions over the course of the game herself. She will opt to force her enemies to surrender instead of wiping them out, where she even offered to spare Rhea and the Church followers if they surrendered, while the former was willing to sacrifice the city the final battle takes place in. (This doesn’t even make sense, she never forced Rhea to surrender she just half heartedly gave her the option of surrender). She also has several fleeting moments of peace and happiness, such as when she takes to drawing portraits of Byleth, which she is self conscious about due to their lack of quality in her eyes.

That attachment towards Byleth is even perhaps stronger than that of the other house leaders. When they teach the Black Eagles, she makes several attempts to get Byleth to understand her world view, even though Hubert advised her it would not be wise and personally invited Byleth to her coronation. In the Crimson Flower route, Dorothea notes that among the Black Eagles, Edelgard was the most emotionally affected by Byleth's disappearance. Edelgard's fondness for Byleth goes so far as to encourage Byleth to call her El and even let Byleth give her orders on the battlefield despite her dislike of not being in control. Despite her earlier statement that she does not cry, she openly cries at the end of the Crimson Flower route when Byleth supposedly dies after slaying Rhea, but is overjoyed when they are revived. Edelgard's bond with Byleth can ultimately result in the marriage of the two, regardless of their gender. It is in her proposal to them at this level where she asks that they stay close to her and that she will need them for the rest of her life. Regardless of her relationship status with Byleth, in the Crimson Flower route, it is through their influence that she ultimately achieves her goals and is remembered far more kindly than in the other routes where she perishes. (Again, would be more at home in a separate relationships section since it says almost nothing about Edelgard as an individual. You could maybe keep the bit about her disliking not being in control, but I’d combine it with an earlier paragraph since it doesn’t make much sense as its own thing.)

Tagged by @lostnoise thank you bby I love you!!!

Also, putting it under a read-more because damn bitch you long

Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen: Actually, when I am, once upon a blue moon, tortured with the unnecessary need to write in hand, I use a green pen! But black if I have to choose between those

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city: BOTH my parents fucking live on the country side and I... fucking hate it... City, city city city, through and through, give me cement and cars and loud noises, I do not care for trees and grass and bugs.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be: ...singing.

Do you drink coffee/tea with sugar: Coffee with honey and tea with sugar, I have a HUGE sweet tooth holy fuck

What was your favourite book as a child: I had the HUGEST fucking crush on Artemis Fowl, like holy fucking shit I was IN LOVE with that lil genius bastard, and I still look back upon it fondly

Do you prefer baths or showers: WELL, you see, in my lil country o’ origin, Denmark, bath tubs are very very very rare, so I have never had a bath in that sense since I could fit in the sink... so showers, I guess

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be: Anything with wings, beyond the ability to fly I am not picky

Paper or electronic books: Paper smells fantastic, and oh the aesthetic of it all, but for actually reading, e-books, so I buy both

What is your favourite item of clothing: Skinny jeans, because I look fucking AMAZING in them, man...

Do you like your name, or would you like to change it: HA nope I HATE my name, it is IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce if you’re not Scandinavian, and I have often considered changing my name to Alex, which, funny story, my mom wanted me to be named Alexander if I was a boy, so??? Coincidence??? I THINK NOT!

Who is a mentor to you: I’m supposed to have one??

Would you like to be famous, if so, what for: Oh God yes, holy fucking shit I want people to ask for my autograph and turn their heads whispering Is that them?? As for what for, well, ideally it’d be for being a huge broadway star, but since I can’t sing worth shit, I’ll settle for being Netflix’ next wonderchild of a writer!

Are you a restless sleeper: YUP, fuck yes, oh GOD, I have insomnia for various reasons, so I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night, oh, and I wake a good dozen times too

Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person: Fuck yeah, I wanna date someone I can send flowers to at work, always buy their favourite snacks, cook dinner and eat by candles, eat out and eat out, and just... ye.

Which element best represents you: I’m the Avatar

Who do you want to be closer to: See some of these questions are really setting me up to say Dacre or Joe, but instead I’ll say the Moon

Do you miss someone at the moment: Psh HA yes, but for not very PG reasons

Tell us about an early childhood memory: Nahhhh too depressing

What is the strangest thing you have eaten: Hehe, I mean, uhh, pineapple on pizza?? No but I haven’t eaten anything strange ever, really

What are you most thankful for: Money The internet, because without it I’d have never met this many astounding people, been this well-informed, or ever even seen Joe and Dacre in that shower scene

Do you like spicy food: I literally put garlic or chilli in EVERYTHING I cook, god yes, fucking burn me

Have you ever met someone famous: I shook the hand of our Queen once when I was in 3rd grade and she came to visit our school

Do you keep a diary or journal: Nah, I remember every horribly embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in excruciating detail already

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil: God, those are two vastly different things, like, pens are oddly sexy if you do it clean, but a mechanic pencil is nicer to hold and can be erased, so....

What is your star sign: You mean Zodiac??? Because if you don’t then hell if I know, but Capricorn

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy: Oh GOD all good things in life is crunchy!!! Ice cream, chocolate, liquorice, cereal, let me fucking chew

What would you want your legacy to be: Well besides my enormous collection of Harringrove smut, I’d want to make a tv show, that even decades later people still love and enjoy, like the original Star Trek, just something that changes tv culture the way they did

Do you like reading, and what was the last book you read: I am actually not that avid a reader, which shames me a great deal, but the last thing I read was, and yeah I’m serious, Brokeback Mountain... Listen, I work in a thrift store, and someone fucking donated it and I... yeah

How do you show someone you love them: Read my tags on everything I reblog from my fellow creators. That is the closest thing I’ll get to showing love in such an honest way. All love is, to me, is the desire to make other people feel better, make them happy and smile and know that they are appreciated and wanted, and I strive to do that every single day. And letting someone know you were thinking about them, whether it’s by sending them a dumb meme or buying them their favourite snack, because you saw it and thought of them. I hope all my followers know I love them.

Do you like ice in your drinks: God yes, keeps it cold and I am gluttonous enough to just inhale whatever the fuck I’m drinking before the ice melts and waters it all out

What are you afraid of: Growing old

What is your favourite scent: There’s this... laundry detergent my ex used, and... it breaks my heart every time I smell it, but it also just reminds me of the good times we had, lying with my head on their chest, just smelling it, feeling the body heat, being happy, being loved. It makes me ridiculously emotional, and coming upon it unexpectedly so just stops time for me

Do you address older people by their name or surname: Man this is a very cultural question to ask, because here everyone calls each other by their first name, like??? I only know people’s last name if it’s absolutely necessary

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life: LAVISHLY SO! But no, really, I know that this is becoming quite tiring to hear of probably, but I would just sit and write. I would wake up, write, go to bed, and then fulfil human duties between like showering and eating and such. I don’t want to travel or party or anything, I just want to write. Also if this question means I’m rich, I’d ofc have a top floor apartment with the view over the ocean and donate as much as I can to literally all charity organizations

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean: Well that really depends, because, salt water does wonders for my curls, like damn bitch yes work that beach hair, but also I assume the pool is 100% clean, so

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground: I would wonder why the fuck there’s 50 dollars lying on the ground in a country that doesn’t even accept that currency

Have you ever seen a shooting star, and if so did you make a wish: Of course I have, but I always liked to think of them as aliens trying to contact us in a long and drawn-out Morse code

What is one thing you would want to teach your children: Oof, uhhh, no thank you

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it: I already got three, and I’m planning on getting a bust of Medusa on my left inner-bicep

What can you hear now: He’s just like all the rest! You can’t trust him! Hurt Someone from the musical A Bronx Tale

Where do you feel the safest: Right here baby, in bed, surrounded by far too many pillows and duvets and plushies, I like a hard bed with soft surroundings like a goddamn nest

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquest: The world and your heart, yes in that order

If you could travel back to any era, which would it be: That really depends!!!! Like am I still me? Do I know everything I know now? Can I come back again? There are wayyy too many questions for me to make an educated answer, but I’d like to see what was before the Big Bang

What is your most used emoji: 💕 But you already knew that!

Describe yourself using one word: Magnificent

What do you regret the most: Fuck I can only choose one???

Last movie you saw: Instant Family, and it was really good!!!

Tagging! No one yet again, because we’ve all done these by now, and I am very happy that I got a chance, too!!!

worth my while // p. 10

main masterlist | thor masterlist | ko-fi | p. 9 | p. 11

Summary: After being banished from his home, Thor Odinson has stopped at nothing to prove himself worthy of his throne, title, and power.

After losing the love of your life, you turned to a power you didn’t understand.You know you shouldn’t get involved.

But how could you not?

Pairing: Thor x Reader (Hercules au…kind of…)

A/N: We’re so close to finishing! I have some kind of major edits that have to be made to the next two parts, but hopefully they won’t take too long!

Warnings: Violence, lots of angst, borderline abuse and definite manipulation, way too many feels, major character death (eventually). Hades is terrible.

Words: 3,363

He gets Hades within an inch of his life. Only a God can kill a God, and Thor is strong enough and driven enough to take Hades out if he must.

But first, Hades must take him to his lair - his real lair - and show him how to save (Y/N). Thor knows Hades won’t do it of his own volition. He’s dealt with Gods like this before.

He thinks of Loki as he holds a fist around Hades’ neck. He thinks of the lies his brother has told, the lies his father told them both. He remembers when he was held captive by Agent Coulson, when Loki came in disguised in Midgardian clothes and told him their father had died, that Thor was banished for good.

But Loki should have known their mother better. She taught him all her tricks, after all, and it was one of her tricks that had righted all of the wrongs Loki had set forth all those years ago.

Thor shakes his head to clear it now, because Loki is not in front of him. Hades is not Loki, and Thor has no emotional ties to the God he holds by the neck except for the human woman he knows, in his heart, is already dead.

“You will show me how to bring her back,” he seethes, “or I will end your life, too.”

Hades smirks. Thor wonders how often (Y/N) has had to look at that smirk and know she’s made a decision that will ripple out like a drop of rain into a calm lake. There’s something about the smugness that fills even Thor with a sense of dread that he’s about to take a step he’ll never be able to come back from.

For her, he’ll do it. He knows other mortals need to be saved, that maybe even those Hades is commanding needs to be saved. But he also knows he is the only one with the ability, the power to take Hades out. He has to act quickly.

Hades lifts a hand and...snap!

Darkness.

It’s a stark difference from the overbearing sunshine in New York and the murky evening in Normandy.

Thor’s hand tightens around Hades’ throat until the other God is gagging, clawing at the huge fist around him.

A torch lights on a dark, cavernous wall. Thor eases his grip as torches lining a long and narrow hall before them ignite. Hades gasps for air, glaring at Thor as he attempts to regain his balance.

“You know you have to keep me alive to see her again, right?” Hades asks. He receives no response.

It takes a moment, but eventually. Hades straightens his suit out. He stands tall, turns away from Thor, and leads the way down the cold and empty hall.

“Hope you like it here, God of Thunder,” Hades calls as they walk through a threshold. “Might be here awhile.” He takes a step to the side, crosses his arms, and nods out over his domain.

Before them is a large lake that looks still from the surface. There’s a light glowing from below that illuminates a movement beneath, though, and as Thor steps closer to the shore, he can see faces. They look as if they’re sleeping, but their mouths are all moving. It’s like...like they’re having one collective nightmare as they float along with the water’s current.

“What’d’ya think of Styx?” Hades asks. He grips onto Thor’s shoulder suddenly, and Thor is just about to retaliate when he notices a transparent arm lift itself from the water and stretch toward his leg. In an instant, Thor leans into the hand on his shoulder, grimacing as he stumbles away from the river.

“Do not waste my time,” Thor says, turning to glare at his nemesis.

“Oh, believe me, I’m not.” Hades let’s go of Thor and nods again, this time with meaning, to show direction. Across the river, the light shifts into one beam, swirling and seeking something specific as souls all move around it.

The river is deeper than it looks. It seems to go on forever. Thor has never seen anything like this, and the thought chills him to the bone. The chill worsens when the spotlight finds what it’s looking for and zeroes in on it.

(Y/N).

Everything in him shudders and slumps. Thinking she is dead is one thing - seeing it… is entirely another. But there she is, mumbling with the rest of the crowd, flowing along with the water because there is no other choice for her tethered soul.

Thor almost charges into the river, but is, again, stopped by Hades’ hand on his shoulder.

“You should know, the river will only give her soul back if she wasn’t meant to die in the first place,” Hades tells him.

Thor only looks back because that seems like far too useful information to give so freely. His brows furrow, and yet again, he steps away from the river.

“And if she was?” he asks, unable to finish, knowing it’s unnecessary anyway.

Hades smirks again. “Skin of any kind can’t withstand the Styx’s properties. Not for long, anyway. Asgardians...well, to tell you the truth, I’ve never had one of you down here before, so I don’t know how long you’d last. But after long enough, you’ll either drown or disintegrate, and your soul will be stuck right alongside hers.”

His first thought is At least I’ll be with her, but he banishes it immediately.

Thor is certain that (Y/N) was not meant to die. She wasn’t supposed to die for him. All she’d meant to do was keep him from hurting himself, to keep him from being the one swirling around in Hades’ death lake.

He’s willing to risk his life on this bet. On the hope, nay, the belief that, despite having been working for this God of Death beside him the entire time, (Y/N) does not deserve to be in that lake. She was not meant to die in that car. Not for him, not like that.

He has nothing left to say to Hades. His mind is made up.

Thor turns back to the lake. He takes two deep breaths, then presses his toes into the impossibly cold water of the Styx. It takes no time at all before souls are clawing at him - or getting as close to clawing as they can when they are made of something lighter than air, lighter than skin, and somehow still colder than the river itself.

He only turns back to leave Mjölnir on the shore, knowing Hades is not worthy of such a weapon. Then, with one last deep breath, he dives in head first.

Souls latch onto him with every stroke as he swims against the current. The darkness settles around him, the cold seeps into his body and drowns out the warmth of his lightning. He thinks This must be what it feels like to die slowly, but reminds himself that he will not die. He can’t. Not because it’s impossible, but because he needs to reach (Y/N), save her, then return to saving the world.

This isn’t like him.

Thor doesn’t put his duties aside for one life. He fights for the greater good, for the collective mass that cannot fight for themselves.

The life of one girl should mean nothing.

But this...woman - and she is a woman - is so much more. He has never been willing to die for just one person before. Sure, he’s been willing to fight for whole civilizations before, but this?

This woman, who lied to him. This woman, who barely told him anything about her. This woman...who saw past the facade of the Avengers, saw past the God-like stature, posture, and posturing. This woman, who’d clearly seen death and had, until recently, lived to tell the tale.

Thor has never loved someone he knew so little about. But the thing is, he realizes, as he pushes past souls that do not belong to him, that he doesn’t know little details. He knows who she is.

She is complicated. She is kind and sometimes shy. She is guarded and somehow still so open with her time and attention. She makes him feel truly worthy of the chance he’s been given to redeem himself. She makes him feel adored in a much more intimate way than any of the girls he meets at Avengers events. She makes him feel like he is the sun to her moon, day to her night.

There is no one else in the universe he would rather risk his life for.

Halfway across the river, he can see the aging spots on his hands, the wrinkles along his fingers. He knows he’s slowing down, but he can’t stop. Not when he’s this close. Hades had said nothing about this - a feeling not unlike the one he’d had when, only hours earlier, Hades had taken his strength.

Thor is not surprised.

He can’t die.

He has to save her.

She saved him. From so much loneliness, from being misunderstood until the end of his days. From going out into the battlefield with no strength, no weapon, no abilities.

She was not meant to die. He knows it in his heart and soul.

He can see her when his skin starts to flake. He reaches, but has to continue his strokes to get closer. His arms feel heavy and his body is exhausted. The current starts to pull at him, but he cannot let it have him.

She needs him. He is her only hope.

She is his, too.

Souls all around him fling themselves at him, drag him down and away. But Thor is nothing if not determined. He pushes on, knows he has to do it.

And he does.

His hand wraps around (Y/N)’s. She feels far more solid than the other souls. She moves much more lightly than they do. Thor brings her in close to his chest, tries to hear what she’s mumbling, but the words are quick and unintelligible. It’s like she’s repeating every word she’s ever said.

They rise together from the river. Her soul doesn’t take a solid form, but it feels warmer in his hands the closer to the surface they get. Her eyes don’t open, but for once, he’s rather glad for that. He’s not sure what a Soul’s eyes might hold, and he’s not certain he wants to know.

They break the surface of the river, and warmth and fullness and strength all fill his body. It’s like the Earth above is fighting off the death below. He wonders if her soul feels anything at all.

He swims them back to shore, where a dumbstruck Hades awaits. Thor cradles (Y/N) to his chest, calling Mjölnir to him with an open palm.

“Did you truly believe she was meant to be here?” Thor asks, throwing his own smirk at Hades. He raises his weapon-wielding arm, points his hammer at Hades, and lets loose a long, violent string of lightning.

It brings Hades to his knees. Thor stands over him, making sure he can see the peaceful yet unsettling look on (Y/N)’s face.

“She no longer belongs to you, and neither does the world above.”

With that, he unleashes all that he has left.

It puts the flame of Hades’ hair to shame.

--

Death is quiet. It is nothing. It is the absence of light and dark, good and evil, high and low. It is, truly, peaceful.

What’s not peaceful is the incessant beeping you keep hearing. Your head hurts so badly. But you were sure that Death made you feel no pain. It made you feel nothing, think nothing, become nothing.

The ringing in your ears says otherwise.

The bright light in your eyes confirms it.

Did you somehow make it into Heaven?

Is there such a place to begin with?

Well. You know there’s a place where souls go when bodies die. You’re sure you were going there. That you’d been there.

But it can’t possibly look like another hospital room.

Something’s not right. The last thing you remember is...is Tony Stark’s voice telling you how far away an ambulance was. Friday coming in to correct him. Hands grabbing the wheel, grabbing the airbag, grabbing you. Pain so intense, you black out until those hands put you on a bed- no, a stretcher.

They hadn’t even gotten you into the ambulance before you’d died.

How are you here, now, though? How are you blinking in a room that you are sure, with every bit of your being, does not belong to Hades? You’re breathing, and you can taste the clinically clean aroma of the room. It doesn’t make sense.

Someone steps into the space between you and the window. You squint because, at first, they’re shrouded in shadow. Your heart speeds as fear courses through your veins - the only logical explanation your brain can conceive of is that Hades has found you and is here to take you with him for good. You’d held up your end of the bargain, earned your freedom by betraying the one person that believed in your goodness, and now he was just going to punish you for it anyway.

But the shoulders are too broad. The hair isn’t the right color, and this person isn’t wearing a suit. Actually, it looks like they came straight from battle and only changed clothes.

Sam’s olive t-shirt is pressed and clean, and so are his jeans, but his face is covered in dirt and grime. His expression isn’t promising as he approaches. You wonder if he’s dead, too, and your heart goes into overdrive.

Sam can’t be dead. You know you barely know him but he’s the second closest to you on the team and you, at least, know he doesn’t deserve to die. Hades has done nothing to earn his soul.

So if Sam isn’t dead, that must mean that...you’re not either.

“Hey,” he says as he leans on the edge of the bed. He sounds a little shaken, but still like Sam. Still like he’s gonna pull a joke the second you say something he can turn back on you - all in the name of fun, of course.

You find it undeniably easy to open your mouth and get out a small, “Hi,” back. You sound well rested and, generally, you feel it, too. Aside from a few sore spots, it’s like...like you weren’t in a car wreck at all.

In a moment of overconfident comfort, you try to push yourself up. But then a spasm in your back stops you, and you grunt until Sam’s hands find your shoulders and hold you gently.

“I wouldn’t,” he says, just as softly.

What is it with these Avengers and their dainty hands? You think.

You settle back against the bed and try to get comfortable again, but now that you’ve moved, you doubt that’ll happen. There are several knots along your spine that feel like rocks beneath your skin, sitting heavily on your muscles. Your chest is a little tight, and if you breathe too deeply, your ribs ignite in internal fire. You know at least a few of them have to be broken.

“What...the hell...happened?” you ask, trying to catch your breath.

And then it happens: Sam smirks, crosses his arms, and chuckles at you.

“Depends on where you left off.”

You take a second to remember, then tell him that Thor left you in the wreck after Tony Stark assured him you’d be taken care of. Sam nods and pulls the chair in the corner up to the bed.

“So, kid, you died,” he says. He’s a little too blasé about it for your taste. But you give him the benefit of the doubt, since you’re, clearly, no longer dead. “Dude with blue flames for hair tried to take over the world.”

“Hades.” Your fists ball at your sides and you ignore the pain of your nails digging into your palms. It’s nothing compared to how that wreck felt, anyway.

Sam’s smile fades a bit, but he nods. “After what I’ve seen, I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Where is he?” you ask. If Hades is still out running around, no one is safe. Not for long.

But Sam shrugs. “He came and went. We were all in different places, fighting off zombies. I think they were zombies. It’s… It was weird, (Y/N).”

You want to laugh, but his tone isn’t as comedic, and you really aren’t in the mood. Everything hurts, and the fact that Thor isn’t here is only serving to remind you that you failed in your attempt to keep him safe. You don’t know how you’re still alive, but you think it must mean that Thor isn’t. He took your place, somehow.

You let out a deep breath. It hurts leaving every second. “I’m so sorry, Sam,” you say, and then you look at the bed because you can’t stand to keep eye contact with him anymore.

Thor is his friend, too. And now he’s gone, and it’s all your fault. Everything is your fault. The zombies and the destruction and your own death - it all weighs down your shoulders and back and makes you even less comfortable than you already are.

“Hey,” he says, reaching out for one of your hands. You don’t stop him from holding on. The warmth of his palm against yours, the slight scent of coconut oil contents you just a little. “What in the world are you sorry for?” he asks.

You shrug. “Everything.” Your voice cracks and you feel your eyes become weighed down with tears. It all happens so fast, there’s no way for you to hide it.

“Oh, kid,” he says. His hand tightens on yours just a smidge. Then another, and another, just until you finally look at him again. “This is part of our job, (Y/N). You didn’t choose the life we did, but this is all just...stuff we get used to. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“He was my boss,” you say. Finally. To someone, out loud.

Sam looks at you for a second, stunned, then cocks his head a bit. “The blue guy?”

You nod. “It- um. It’s a long story.”

There’s a silence then, as Sam waits for you to tell him the whole thing. But you don’t. You find it hard to swallow the saliva gathering in your mouth, though.

“Gimme the short version, then,” Sam says softly.

Without much hesitation, you do. It feels...unimaginably good to finally say it to someone. To open up and get out just: “My ex and I got in a fight one night. He was hit by a car, died on impact. Hades found me, made me a deal I couldn’t turn down and...um. Brought my ex back to life. It didn’t work out, but I was stuck in his service until…”

You look away, toward the door, though no one is coming in. It takes you a split second to realize you were hoping Thor would be there.

Sam gets it immediately. “He’s not here,” he says, once again squeezing your fist in his hand. “He got called home.”

Your eyes widen. Home. The clock on his wall is the first thing in your mind. The one that made him happy and sad at the same time.

“Oh.” It’s all you can get out at first. But of course he was called home. Of course this...Hades...that would be the one thing to make him worthy of Asgard again.

You should’ve known better than to fall for an alien Prince. But, god, did it feel so good to let yourself give in.

Even now, when you think about him lightyears away, you don’t really regret it. Given the chance, you know immediately that you’d do it all over again. Every second of it, just maybe not with Hades involved. Definitely without the secrets and the fake need to keep things casual.

“Good for him.”

Preview of IKIGAI, a Free! Urban Fantasy AU: Chapter 4

Music for this snippet

To be a corpse, running for your life means that whatever is chasing you, must be a reckoning. Rin flies out of the cabin, frail as a petal plucked thin. He is trapped at the nauseating top of the world, high on vertigo in a snow globe with a cabin best suited for cozy mysteries spoken with child in lap. He is somewhere he does not belong – somewhere he is not welcomed. The moon is his laughing chandelier that spins, dancing for his demise. The forest carries a darkness more primitive than death, but he spares no time to let the moon teach him poetry – he staggers through the bushes and prays for the shadows of sanctuary.  

Icy moonlight chases him as the woodlands take on a harsh palette: skinny towers of pine and the wintery silhouette of evergreens. The forests are a grotesque beauty with their witch-fingered trees; the ground is bright with snow while the sky is a hollow ballroom of gyrating stars, and they watch him, tell him to be gone. Like blood to a vein, Rin races to the heart of the woodlands, frantic to hide in the ribcage of anything dead and protective. The lightning itself orders enlightenment into his life, but Rin runs from it. Thorns cut his bare feet open like pretty red fruit, and he realizes that he is prey – just livestock that slipped from its cage. To the forest, he is nothing more than a consumable body all soft and raw for the taking. The woodlands allow him to keep running only because it is Rin’s nature, and the forest respects nothing more. There is no free will to hunger, nor is there any compassion to be found in flowers, in dirt – not from the roots to the stars. Such sympathy has no stake in the hierarchy of nature, and Rin is at the bottom of the food chain, so low in value that his only comparisons are the worms, or the moldy flesh the vultures have yet to swallow. He cries out for his father in the night, his mother, Haru, even Gou. Only the crows answer, and they chase Rin with their toothless jaws stretched open, chanting, you can’t see the signs behind the apple of your eye! You can’t see the signs behind the apple of your eye! They pluck at his eyes, biting his cheeks to force them into an aroused, apple-color; they make a canvas out of him, talons carving runes into his forehead before he swats them away. The woodlands ripen him for the taking: the wind licks his robe open; trees yank the silk away and the pines are sentient in the humiliation they give. A root curls up to steal a chunk of his hair, leaving Rin with a deep-sated dread that never left the pit of his gut. He must run because he doesn’t know what else to do. He is too afraid to give up. He pants, he cries; he is pathetic and does not care. Rin trips on slippery moss and crashes into a river. When his kneecap takes the fall, it splits in half like a parted apple; a red mouse swims out to take his fleshy bits for the taking. Rin cries, blinded with pain with his hands locked around his ruined knee, and red trickles through his fingers. He wavers, not understanding as he brings his palms out of the water. They drip blood. His mind reels. His pulse drops. Rin is suddenly aware of how cold he is. He is bleeding and alone, the worst-case scenario for a human. A growl creeps through the trees and Rin hiccups on a sob. A musk prowls over him – honeydew, masculine sweat. What bitter irony there is in being only worth your flesh. Rin is naked for the taking, godless of modesty, defenseless and curious – a truly damning combination. The wolf stalks through the bushes and gazes at the full of him. He commands nature, and how could he not when his mother watches on from the sky? The moon surely takes pride in her beast of a child as he looms over Rin. Meadows of nightshade glow in her delight, perfumed with poison. The wolf makes Rin feel smaller than a hemlock stem and just as frail. He is foreign to prayer, but any knowledge of mythos is unnecessary in the wake of this creature before him. He is a god. Perhaps he only controls the woods, but that would mean that Rin is the black rose of his life because he is ready to bow before this wolf like a flower to rain. There’s religion in those eyes – scripture woven into each fleck of throbbing color. Rin thinks he remembers that language from a past life. A foreign, sick part of him is excited for the moment when they will be one – when his flesh is nestled in the warm pouch of the wolf’s gut, devouring him most sweetly. He’s going to make Rin bleed. The bite is a necessary betrayal, a part of him whispers. How do you think the trees feel in winter? It is their nature to bloom and their nature to die. Nature is not fair. Betrayal is the bridge that guides one season into the next. The wolf gives him a onceover, looking at Rin’s winter-cherry complexion and his trembly fingers. He prowls forward, sloshing through the river with stoic regality – even the air seems to sigh its submission. When they are close enough for Rin to feel the damp heat of him, he lifts his chin to the wolf. “Eat me.” He always taunted better than anything else. The wolf gives him a sort of look – annoyed, impatient. His gaze lifts to the trees and Rin starts to follow him before a terrible noise shakes the forest. Their antagonist has no form, but Rin feels the pressure. The plates of the earth grind. The air tightens to a fever-pitch. His ears ring. Pressure, nauseating pressure all hot around him. The wolf snarls and drags Rin down to hide beneath his underbelly, protecting him behind a wall of muscle and sweaty fur. The wolf growls with enough power to make the water ripple, and something dawns in Rin’s foggy-pink mind. “You’ll take care of me.” The wolf glances down at him like that’s obvious, and he’s ashamed. Rin pulls a shaking hand from the water, lifts it. The wolf bristles in dread but Rin can’t stop, and when his palm sinks into black fur, light burns him out of existence. He wakes up with a scream, bolting off the bed with the sheets binding his legs. Rin thrashes, kicks them off and blindly claws up the wall to the ceiling beams – the highest point, safest. He heaves with nails digging against his heart, and his thoughts slowly link to coherency. He gropes his knee and it’s fine; his cheeks have not been plucked open by crows, and he isn’t naked. However, there’s pure fire in his gut. He’s starving for a taste that still lingers in his mouth, and he’d scrape his gums raw if only he could find more of it. Rin licks his teeth, pushes his fangs back into his mouth. He swallows a few times, hoping for more dregs of the honey he’s burning for. Rin flops down on the beam and drags a ragged hand through his hair, fingers drifting down to his chest. He remembers bits and pieces of the dream with loathing, near sick with himself. Then he remembers the light and Rin’s eyes fly open as a name spills from his mouth. “Sousuke.”

OC Interview: Mervina Moon

(Year two; she’s still so young dgfhjk)

name ➔ “Mervina Moon.” a simple answer to a simple question. However, a sheepish smile escapes her. “That’s all.” although very polite, her nervousness shows itself too easily.

are you single ➔ Nervousness turns to confusion to suspicion quickly. She can’t hide her frown, nervous smile crooked. “Why do you want to know?” uncomfortable to say the least. But alas, she composes herself. “But yes, I am. I’m still very young you know? For relationships I mean.”

are you happy ➔ “What do you mean? Like right now? Generally? With my life? That’s too vague. I’m more confused than anything, really.”

are you angry ➔ “No... I wouldn’t say so.” her tones suggests that she could easily be angry but she’s really not, so. “Again, just confused.”

are your parents still married ➔ The change in her mood is almost palpable, from her dark frown to her (glowing?) golden eyes and general posture. She’s poised like she’s ready to pounce on her prey. Touchy subject. “...no. My father can go to hell.”

---

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “South Korea actually!” she perks up immediately. Drastic changing in moods seems to be her trademark. “But for very little time. We moved here to England when I was months old.” there’s an ever present smile on her face. “I have many muggle friends from where I live.”

hair color ➔ “White! Not pure white though. That’s my father’s trait.” with the mention of her father she darkens with a sneer on her lips.

eye color ➔ There’s a deep intake of air before her answer. “Golden yellow. My mother’s trait.” she’s warm now and talking about her mother seems to bring a sort of comfortable feeling over Mervina.

birthday ➔ “September 19th!” there’s a spring in her voice. She’s not as uncomfortable now as she was at the start of the interview.

mood ➔ Confusion wrinkles her brows again. “What does that mean?! I- Well, I guess I’m fine right now.” a tilt in her voice at the end makes her statement sound like a question.

gender ➔ “I’m a female.”

summer or winter ➔ “Oh, winter for sure! Summer is too hot and annoying and suffocating! At least in the winter you can choke yourself in as many sweaters and beanies and scarfs that no one will judge you! Also, great time for cuddles.” she finger guns the interviewer cheekily, with a wink.

morning or afternoon ➔ “Not sure. It really depends on the day. Some days I want to sleep for three years straight and others I want to wake up early to get shit done. So... I don’t know.”

---

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “I- Well...” with her pale complexion, blushing can’t ever be a secret. She’s beet red. “I wouldn’t really say I’m in love. Just. Crushing, I guess.” she’s tense, tense, tense now. It’s very amusing.

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ She takes her time considering it. “Well... I’ve never experienced it. And I’ve never seen it really happen with my own two eyes. And people say ‘seeing is believing’, right? So, at this moment, I don’t really believe it. But it’s an attractive concept, isn’t it? Despite being polyamorous, I can admit that it would make life much easier if it’s true. You see them and you know they’re the one. Easy peesy lemon squeesy.”

who ended your last relationship ➔ “Didn’t have one before this. So no one. Even though there was this girl that I confessed to and she said ‘Thanks but no.’” there’s an awkward pause. “We weren’t dating, duh, but it still stung.”

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “Yes. A friend of a friend. He was annoying and knew I was gay but didn’t care, so I also didn’t care when he cried right after I rejected him.” she presents herself as calm but there’s a storm inside her, trashing around and making itself known in moments like these. When she’s merciless.

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Not really. If I care about the person than I commit to it. There’s no point in saying we care for each other if we don’t commit to it.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yes! Rowan! I hug her everyday basically.” her eyes are soft and sweet, like honey. “She’s amazing... And gives excellent hugs!”

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ She can’t help the incredulous laugh that escapes her. If she was confused before, she’s the definition of it now. ”What?! What a dumb question! That’s their whole deal: being a secret? So no I don’t think I have one. Who would even do that with me?”

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ All her happiness fades away quickly upon hearing the question. There’s a sort of guilt evident in her posture when she starts to fiddle with her fingers. She’s quiet. “If by that you mean that I’ve disappointed myself so hard that I felt it break with every fiber of my being, making me miserable and disgusted with myself for a lot of years to come?” there’s a pause, a heavy one that sits on Mervina, making her back hunched over. “Then yeah, I have broken my own heart.” her back's almost straight again but she’s allergic to eye contact for the time being. “I was a child though. And we all make mistakes. Next question.”

---

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Uh... love, obviously. If one day I have a girlfriend that doesn’t want to do the woo-hoo I would be fine with it. More time to cuddle! It’s a win-win situation!”

lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Oh lemonade, duh. Iced tea is disgusting.”

cats or dogs ➔ “Cats. I love cats.” there’s a big smile on her face when she answers.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “A few bestfriends I suppose. Even though many regular friends is not a foreign concept to me so...”

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Romantic night in. If there’s something that I love is staying in and hang out with my besties, making fun of dumb movies and such...” 

day or night ➔ “Night. I’m a night owl.”

---

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ She’s smug when she answers. “Nope. I’m very sneaky.” she ends the phrase with a wiggles of her eyebrows.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Her face is neutral for some time. However, it doesn’t take long for her cheeks to color bashfully. “It- It was one time, okay? ONE TI-”

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ She inhales deeply before answering. “Yes. I guess I have. Or do actually.”

wanted to disappear ➔ “Yes. Won’t elaborate more on the matter.” she’s tense once more, her tone clipped.

---

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes. I find it beautiful how our eyes reflect us and eyes in general just can’t not be gorgeous.”

shorter or taller ➔ “Shorter.” she declares, full of playful spite. “But taller isn’t a crime, so whatever.”

intelligence or attraction ➔ “Intelligence. You can get out of every situation if you’re clever enough.”

hook-up or relationship ➔ “I would say relationship but I’ve never tried a hook-up so I don’t know yet.” she shrugs, clearly relaxed with the topic.

---

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ “I love my mother, I’d die for her and she for me in a heartbeat. I still love my brother but... y’know, stuff.” she’s distant until she refers to the last member of her family. When talking about him, she’s dangerous. “My father could have his ashes thrown into the ocean and I’d still swim in it happily. I could feed him to the dogs and I’d pet them with my father’s guts on their teeth. I’d kill him myself if it wasn’t a crime. My mum would be worried sick if I got arrested.” she’s not scared of death. Not at all. “I guess you have my answer on that one. I’m not close with the rest of my family, my father’s side being a bunch of motherfuckers and my mother’s side residing in South Korea.”

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “No. It’s not perfect but it’s still a very good life. Lots of people have it worse than me.”

have you ever ran away from home ➔ She cackles once but her eyes are sharp. “No. Wouldn’t give the satisfaction to my father. I’m never leaving my mother’s side. Ever.”

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ Her eyes stay sharp. “My father wished he could do that but he knows I’d claw him if he tried. Me and Jacob and mum.”

---

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ These questions never fail to confuse her. “No? Why would I be friends with somebody I hate? Sounds dumb and unnecessary.”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Of course! They’re all amazing and I love them! I think the same for people who aren’t even my friends!” she’s sheepish and shy after her confession.

who is your best friend ➔ She exhales for a long second. “Well, my childhood bestfriends are actually both first years here at Hogwarts. Ayo Zadkiel and Blaise Antoine. But Rowan is there too of course. Just need to find a way for them to meet with all of our busy schedules...” she gets on her own head for awhile, debating her issue.

who knows everything about you ➔ “My mum, definitely. My two bestfriends too. Rowan is close. Very close...” she’s quiet until she realizes this is the last question. “Oh shit! Well, it was a good chat and I hope you have a good day. Goodbye!”

---

The first step to meeting Mervina Moon.

This was fun!! And I’m tagging whoever wants to do this.

La Lune - Kevin Birthday One Shot

Ravenoville, Manche, France. 1987.

“Did you know the moon controls the tide?”

Your friends were chatting behind you, some looking up at the stars while others continued to sit on your outlaid blanket. The waves were soft tonight despite the weather warning you read for today in the morning over a cup of coffee. Not giving a response to Jaehyun, whose goal was always to know more than the next person, you continued your path to the water. The sand was soft enough that you could hear the steps following you but you couldn’t tell who.

“Need some company?” Kevin’s voice was soft and filtered over the crackles of your campfire and the soft lapping of water. Salt filled your nose as you turned to see the black haired boy with his candy dimples and chocolate eyes.

Not saying a word, you grasped onto his finger and tugged him forwards with you. There wasn’t much of a complaint, though he did try to slip his hand further into yours. The thought seemed to scare you so you let go just as you reached the edge of the water, steadying yourself.

“It’s going to be cold,” you said aloud instead of keeping the thought in your head. It seemed unnecessary but you wanted to say something to fill the space. Kevin nodded, coming to stand beside you. The moon dipped its white light over the water, forming a circle with faded edges on the navy blanket. Some of it hit his cheeks, the ones that stuck out from his bones and hid his eyes when he giggled deeply. He seemed to shine from within.

“Shoes off then,” he murmured, bending to untie his laces as polite and well mannered people do. You just stepped on the rubber on the back of your shoes and kicked them off, placing them side by side before walking away. Chatter arose from behind you.

“Be careful out there! It’s dangerous to swim at night!”

“We know, Jacob,” you called back, giving the dyed blonde boy a thumbs up. You could still make out the disgruntled look on his face, his hands on his hips as he shook his head. One of your friends was faced out, watching you as she chomped down on sunflower seeds. It comforted you to know they cared but, for now, you wished you were alone.

“What if the tide comes in a bit further?” Kevin seemed to be thinking aloud, looking down at his shoes. Despite yourself, you clicked your tongue and waded further into the water. That seemed to alarm him more than the potential loss of his Sperrys.

“Hey, wait-”

Interrupting him without warning, back turned to him, you asked, “are you having a good birthday trip?”

The water rippled around your calves as he came closer and it parted around you two. He didn’t hesitate to say yes but his quick response set you off. The moon about you was tugging at your heart for some reason, unrest deep in your bones. Perhaps it wasn’t shifting the water on earth tonight but the blood in your body.

“I wonder if this is really what you wanted,” you admitted, eyes up in the cloudless sky where lights twinkled in and out of synchronization with each other, “like if you really wanted to see France or if you did it because you thought you had to. Does that make sense?”

“Not really.” The words were awkward and when you looked towards him, he was scratching at the back of his neck. His lips were in an irregular box, tipped to the side, and his teeth showed so you could see the sharp two in the front.

For a moment, you collected your words and carefully placed them in the right order. It took some effort for you to say what you meant so the pause felt unnatural until your voice rose again with the splash of water on your legs.

“I just mean, I wonder if you even really wanted to go to France and see all of this stuff. You like the outdoors and water but this is the first and last day we’re going to be in the countryside,” you pointed it out, calculated as you finished with, “and you didn’t even plan it, Jacob and I forced your hand to stop for the night. I just want to know if this whole trip is really what you wanted to do for your birthday or if you did it for some other reason.”

“What other reason?” There was a hint of defence in his voice and you instantly wanted to take back your words.

“N- no, I don’t mean it like- I was just asking if maybe you felt compelled to do it because like there’s that whole ‘everyone should see France’ thing, you know?” You could feel yourself losing control of your words and bearings, sentences slipping through quickly and without thought.

Kevin only shrugged, taking his eyes from you and pressing them back up to the sky. You followed suit, feeling as he got closer to you and went to point up at the stars. His arm now reached past your ear, his chest so close to your back, you could just feel him breathing.

“That’s what I came here for,” he said, pointing up at the moon. “Everyone called me ‘la lune’ in French class when they found out my last name. Some people would say it endearingly though most said it as a slur because I was round like the moon.

“I wanted to see it for myself, see the moon in France and see what people were talking about.”

You blinked, daring to fall into his slight embrace. Though his hands didn’t snake around your waist and his arm dropped to his side again, you still felt safe saying, “but the moon is the same no matter where you see it from.”

“But nowhere else calls it la lune, right?”

There was nothing much to say and you both stood there, content to just stare at the sky and be with each other. You had thoughts that swirled around like whirlpools and black holes inside your head, all rooted in fondness and affection for the boy standing with you. It didn’t help when his hands found their way to your hip bone, resting there to bring you closer against him.

“If it makes you feel any better,” you whispered, not being able to manage more than that, “I think the moon is really beautiful.”

It felt like a sticker in the sky, round and placed there without much thought. Little scratches and dark patches covered its surface but some of it was pure white- light shining through so unbothered that it created paths in the sky and water. There was a slight rise in the water, it now hitting your knees but neither of you noticed.

“Don’t call me cheesy for saying it but I think you’re rather beautiful too.”

You just snorted, hoping he wouldn’t feel the heat that rose from your chest and cheeks. However, he noticed from the way you took your eyes off the stars and focused in on your painted nails, which you loved to chip at.

“Sorry, it was stupid,” he chuckled, embarrassed as well and neither of you brought it up again. He took his hands from you and moved a bit further back, wading in the water with a slight level of difficulty.

“Maybe we should go back,” you murmured, turning back now to see him with fire and friends as his personal background. A tall wall was rushing up behind those aspects, brown and red shadows fighting each other across the mud-based rising. He looked like a picture with his cheeks lit up by the moon ahead.

He nodded, tapping at the water and saying, “it rose pretty quickly.”

“Soon our shoes will be gone,” you joked, only to notice a brown left foot floating towards you. It was upside down and Kevin gasped, snatching at his Sperry and clutching it close to his chest.

“Oh no.”

Panic flushed into both of your faces as you hurried back on shore, looking for the other foot. Luckily, yours had been untouched and his right foot was on the verge of being licked in, but that didn’t stop the two of you for worrying for those few seconds. Then laughter came, lifting into the clouds like embers that learned how to fly.

His arm came to wrap around your shoulder as he brought you in closer to him and you walked towards the fire barefoot. It didn’t leave your side, not even that night in the little cabin where it pressed on your ribs. His mouth was parted, hair flopping across his forehead and pillow. Some sweat appeared on his brow, which you dabbed off with the corner of your long-sleeved shirt before going back to watching him sleep well.

Kevin looked brighter than before despite the lack of a sun or a moon. All the curtains were drawn and the lights were off. It was just you two in that crowded room full of suitcases and clothes nobody else had space to keep. Yet, he was still a beacon for you. He seemed to be filled with some sort of elixir that kept him untouched by unhappiness and yet, he was still lonely sometimes. You wondered in that moment if you were the sun, if you were burning so bright and hot that he couldn’t touch you. It would explain the beads that kept showing up on his brow.

That would make him the moon, untouchable but forever there, just across the way. You were to pass each other in the sky, touch each other’s hips and give each other a kiss on the way down but nothing more. It broke your heart but there was no mistaking it. He was la lune and you were someone who admired him from ages away, forever unable to express how much you adored the way he shone.

Back to the Future: Resolved Among The Stars (StarClan)

There were many cats in StarClan, Bluestar mused as she padded around in search of her sister, Snowfur. Many had died after the Great Battle, including her successor, Firestar, but many more lived on.

"Hello, Bluestar!" Stonefur meowed from where he and Mosskit chatted happily on Warmrocks.

"Hello, you two. Having fun?"

"Yes!" The little grey and white she-cat flew toward her mother, but Bluestar stopped her from crashing just in time. "Stonefur was telling me about what RiverClan was like! It was fun!"

"I think you would have liked ThunderClan better." The blue-grey leader purred mischievously. "ThunderClan rules!" Bluestar snickered.

"ThunderClan rules!" Mosskit chirped after her mother.

"Hey!" A red-furred tom with bright green eyes padded over at the sight of his family. "I take offense to that!"

"Father!" Mosskit barreled into Oakheart, who received his daughter with open paws. "I bet it's true!" She grinned.

"Yeah, sure, kit. RiverClan cats can swim, but what can you stinky ThunderClan cats do?" He challenged playfully.

"We climb trees!" Mosskit yowled. "Look, Father! I can climb!"

Stonefur, Oakheart, and Bluestar watched as Mosskit scrabbled onto a low-hanging tree branch from a nearby rock.

"Very good!" Bluestar purred. "Now get down before you hurt yourself!"

________________________________________________________________

Firestar glared down at the pool to the living. He'd been in StarClan for more than a quarter moon, and he missed his Clan desperately. It wasn't fair! Why did he have to go when Sandstorm still needed him?

"You can wish all you want, but she won't join you before her time." A dark grey she-cat with a broad, flattened face and piercing orange glare loped over to where the great ginger leader sat. "None of them will."

"There's no use in complaining, but what's the point of StarClan when Sandstorm isn't here to make everything perfect?"

"StarClan is here to wait on those living and help them spend their lives the best they can, so that when they join us it is without regrets."

"What do you know about regrets, Yellowfang?" The ginger leader snapped. "Or Sandstorm and I, for that matter?"

"I know plenty about regrets, young tom." She reminded him. "Your hurts will be smoothed over time, but you cannot interfere with the living. There are plenty of cats in the same predicament as you, Firestar. You are not alone."

The grey medicine cat left her would-be son to his own devices. He would have to learn.

______________________________________________________________

Silverstream stared through a different pool with similar results. At least Greystripe seemed happy with the life he led. Who was she to get in the way of that?

"You shouldn't torture yourself." A gentle voice murmured from not too far away. The silver tabby whirled around at the presence of a new cat. He was ThunderClan by scent, a sandy grey tom with blue eyes.

"My name is Thrushpelt, and I once thought Bluestar hung the moon and scattered the stars." He chuckled softly.

"Her heart belonged to another, and I eventually figured out that she could never love me that way. Certainly, no one could force her to do anything she wasn't interested in."

"You make moving on sound so easy," Silverstream scoffed.

"Whoever thinks that has moss for brains, because moving on hurts. It takes time that you don't want to spend alone and patience that you don't want to have, but mostly it takes understanding. If he really has moved on, then you'll eventually have to do the same."

"Seeing her with him… at least I know he loved me once. But their poor kits… she's definitely no one's mother."

"She never did seem the type. Bluestar was all over the camp chasing after her kits. Always growling at anyone who dared to look at them wrong. Losing them, even the way she did, it broke her. I don't know this cat well enough, but she seems too… unattached."

"I feel terrible for being so selfish. She's done nothing to me. Has done more for me than I can say. But…"

"You love him. That might not go away." Thrushpelt offered, flicking his tail. "And it doesn't have to, because some part of him still loves you. I mean look at her."

"There are plenty of grey cats around." Silverstream snorted.

"Oh, it's more than that." Thrushpelt deadpanned. They snickered.

"I feel bad for her kits." The RiverClan she-cat admitted. "I know that my friends and family did right by Stormfur and Feathertail. They turned out wonderfully…" She purred thoughtfully.

"I don't think, had I been around to raise them, that I would have done as good a job. So I'm kind of glad that I wasn't. But I watch her with her kits and… I just want to scream every time she pushes poor Blossomfall away. And by the Stars, it's a wonder that Bumblestripe turned out the way he did. But then maybe Greystripe had more of a paw in things than he was willing to show."

"Well, the kid's no Ashfur."

"Ugh, do not dare mention that wretched tom! It's a wonder no one has tried chasing him across the border, that-."

"He wouldn't survive there. And someone here knew it. His actions later in life were absolutely reproachable, but overall he was a good warrior. I have to believe that, or what does that make me?"

"Better than that fleabag, for sure." Silverstream scoffed. "I might not approve of what Millie does, but that doesn't mean I want her gone! He just… ugh, I don't get why."

"Ask him someday. He's of sound mind with plenty to reflect on. He might give you a straight answer."

________________________________________________________________

"Hello," Cinderpelt bristled before the sound of the familiar voice reached her ears. She hated when cats snuck up on her. Getting shocked out of your fur was not fun, no matter how many times Squirrelflight tried it as an apprentice.

"Whitestorm, Lionheart." She dipped her head to the white tom and the golden tabby in turn. "What can I do for you?"

"I say we start with a walk and go from there." Whitestorm offered. "There are some things that were never truly explained."

Yes, there were. Like why Lionheart wasn't their father even though they'd grown up with him. Or why one of her littermates was named after a golden ShadowClan tom that looked eerily similar to him. Or why she had a completely dark grey pelt when nobody else, not even her mother's parents, were anything remotely resembling her. The closest she could possibly fathom was Fuzzypelt, and he was pure black. 

If Lionheart was her father, she could get it from Smallear. Maybe something like a duller version of Fuzzypelt's… but that made no sense. Even now she had no clue who her father was. Her mother had never wanted to talk about it with any of them, but Cinderpelt knew she stood out. Like a fox in the leafbare snow, she stood out against her literally golden family! 

No one ever teased her for it, and she never felt that she was lacking as a kit. Lionheart was great, at first. But then he got Greystripe for an apprentice and he stopped seeing them that often. Then he became deputy and he couldn't play with them at all. She'd never asked Frostfur out of respect for her mother. Why bring in any unnecessary grief? Frostfur would tell Cinderpelt when she was ready.

"I suppose you're wondering about your true heritage." Her mother's uneasy voice drifted to her ears.

Apparently, Frostfur was ready.

"I fell for a ShadowClan tom in my youth. Brackenfoot."

"So my brother was named for his father?" Cinderpelt snorted. "Wasn't that a little risky?"

"It was a one-time thing. I'd just become a warrior and boy, was I reveling in it. Bluestar was so proud of me! I was perfect, just like my sister. We got away with everything until Willowpelt and the tortoiseshell twins became warriors. I fancied myself in love, but he never told me it was a onetime thing. He certainly never told me that he had a mate."

"Whoa… when did he get a mate?!"

"Well, he was a ShadowClan cat. Much older than I was. I was looking for some attention and I found it… oh, did I find it. I tracked down his mate not too long after you all were born, told her everything, all but broke down in front of her… she just stared at me. I had no idea what she was thinking, but eventually, she said that it wasn't entirely my fault. 

He made his decision, and even if it hadn't been me, he would have found some other young cat. It was a bad habit of his. She made me swear to never tell anyone who fathered my kits, and I was perfectly okay with that. Brindleface never told anyone who fathered Ashfur and Ferncloud either, so I was glad to know I wasn't the only one. Besides, we queens are allowed to have a few secrets."

"So we were, what, mistakes? And what about the part where I'm my mentor's younger sister?!"

"You are absolutely no one's mistake, sweet one. I need you to remember that, no matter what happens from here. I love you and your brothers with the heat of a million stars, and knowing who your father is won't make me stop."

___________________________________________________________

The last thing Bluestar remembers is playing with her youngest and feeling happier than she had in moons.

The last thing Thrushpelt recalled, he was talking to Silverstream about letting go of someone you couldn't have.

Firestar was wrapped up in the trauma every StarClan cat felt when they first arrived, and likely would remain so for half a moon. There were plenty of cats waiting and willing to help him through settling in. The ginger leader of ThunderClan would be fine.

Whitestorm padded easily beside Lionheart, hoping that Cinderpelt and her mother talked things out and Frostfur would, at the very least, no longer be an anxious wreck. Perhaps even pleasant.

Cinderpelt was shocked beyond belief. There was an old rule that queens didn't have to tell Clanmates who fathered their kits. This was definitely why, she realized.

A dark wave washed over all of StarClan and the voices of the First Ancestors could be heard for miles.

"TIME SHALL RECLAIM WHAT HAS BEEN LOST TO SOME, AND OTHERS SHALL HEAL REGARDLESS."