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#hot funny can dance can spell can drive can cook
0lympian-c0uncil · 3 months ago
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Hecate x Demeter headcanons!?
if not that’s okayyy <3
• They fell in love when Hecate helped Demeter look for Persephone.
• Most days Demeter works in the fields all day and sometimes partway into the night so when she gets back to the house Hecate will have run a hot bath and cook dinner for Dem.
• Demeter is extremely cuddly with Hecate
• Demeter has really bad back problems so Hecate will either give her a back massage or use her magic to help.
• Hecate loves to lay on top of Demeter’s stomach when Dem’s fallen asleep for a nap
• Because she can feel Demeter breathing and alive.
• Hecate loves to leave butterfly kisses all over Demeter’s body.
• Persephone is very protective of her mother and doesn’t trust anyone she dates
• So poor Hecate
• They love aesthetic dates.
• Their favorite thing to do is lay down in a field together and talk about their day
• Demeter smokes weed atleast 7 times a day and it annoys the fuck out of her girlfriend
• On random nights Hecate will travel from the underworld to the mortal realm just so she can sleep with Demeter.
• The two go to pride every year and Demeter has Hecate on her shoulders basically the whole time.•Hecate also paints their flags on her and Dem’s faces during it.
• When Hecate, Demeter, and Persephone are driving somewhere the first song Hecate will always play is Stacy’s Mom on full blast (Persephone wants to die everytime she hears it)
• Hera and Hecate get along well but Hera has told Hecate multiple times not to break Dem’s heart or else.
• Hand caresses
• Hecate does Demeter’s eyeliner and only her eyeliner.
• Karaoke nights
• Demeter get’s Hecate new spell books for presents and they are really rare ones as well.
• Couch cuddles.
• They love to sleep outside in the grass to look at the stars together.
• Hecate steals Demeter’s glasses from time to time. (she thinks it’s funny)
• The Nymphs in the mortal realm with Demeter love Hecate and approve of their relationship.
•Dancing, my oh my they love to dance together
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venividivictorious · a year ago
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Ok...u got my attention...💘 for skuldugery and cassandra
OH BOY I GOT ONE
send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—
where they first met and how
Okay so when they first meet, it's way back before he met Skugwife, when he was on-again-off-again with China and Ghastly and making his way up the ranks in the Sanctuary army.
A dashing young officer with an impressive inheritance and a string of victories under his belt would've been prime 1600s marriage real estate. They meet at some Sanctuary party, dance together a bit, get along very well. Skug was already arrogant and vain, but he was also charming and funny, which was a bonus, and they were social equals - she's from a wealthy, landed family herself. She was interested in him and they were in each other's social circle from around his mid-20s to when he met Wifey and fell disgustingly in love, at which point she conceded defeat and let him go.
It's actually Gordon who brings them back into each other's lives in the 1980s. They've both changed a lot since they last saw one another and she's not really sure what to make of him. He's colder, more serious, and she knows he's lost...pretty much everyone. When she tells him to come by anytime, he's polite but detached and basically says that's not a good idea, so she doesn't expect to see much of him in the future. But he comes back some months later with a difficult case to ask if she's seen anything, and from that point on they work together sporadically, if she has any visions that might be useful to him.
how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved
They rekindle their flirtation after he comes back in Dark Days. He's not okay, not in the slightest, and she can see it. He's faking being okay, but he's overselling it. She knew him through the period where his mother was killed, and he tried to play that off the same way. He ends up driving out to her cottage at some ungodly hour of the early morning because he's falling apart and he doesn't really have anywhere else to go. she takes him in, sits with him until long after the sun comes up and lets him talk it out until he's dozing off where he's sitting.
By the War of the Sanctuaries, they're Together.
who fell for who first ( if applicable )
She was rather taken with him when they first met. She liked to think of herself as the future Mrs Captain Pleasant. He was attracted to her, but also otherwise entangled and considerably less invested.
When they get back together, it's more. Falling in love at the same time.
where their first date was and what it was like
They've spent a lot of time together, usually at her cottage, already. But he gets it into his head he wants to take her on an actual date, and she's a homebody, so he decides to make her dinner. It's kind of a disaster because he hasn't had to cook anything in hundreds of years - he follows a recipe, but he still manages to burn it and get food absolutely everywhere with the electric whisk. He's pretty frustrated and upset that he ruined it, but she finds it hilarious, and they end up cuddling on the couch with takeout and a movie.
who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )
She gives him a key. She prefaces it with a big speech about how it doesn't have to mean anything, he just spends so much time there that he might as well be able to let himself in, and she wants him to have somewhere he really feels safe and comfortable and her place can be that for him if he wants, and -
He kisses her mid-speech, so she never gets to finish it.
who proposes first
He does. She'd never bring up marriage to him, when she knows how his first one ended. She can't be completely sure he's done grieving his first love, and she doesn't want to hurt him, so it's better not to bring it up.
if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away
It's not a secret at all. Valkyrie still goes nearly a decade without noticing.
where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )
They're in bed together first thing in the morning. He doesn't remember the last time he was this relaxed and happy. He watches her wake up and she cuddles closer into him with the squinty morning-sun-in-your-face look and he never thought he'd love this much again and it just. Comes out.
who’s more dominant
Neither, really. They're very much a team. She tempers his recklessness, and he gives her a nudge out of her comfort zone. She has the same ability Wifey had, though, to wrangle him without ever letting on that she's doing it.
where their first kiss was and what it was like
He was totally drained after unloading a year's worth of torture on her post-Dark Days, and she was trying to comfort him. It doesn't lead anywhere - she puts him to bed on her couch and stays with him so he feels safe enough to switch off and sleep.
if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )
She buys him a hideous Christmas sweater the first year they're officially together, but has yet to successfully bully him into wearing it.
how into pda they are
They're your average couple. If she drops in on him at the Sanctuary, she'll kiss him goodbye. He'll put his arm around her when they're walking, or let her hold his hand. But neither of them is an exhibitionist.
who holds the umbrella when it rains
He does. He could easily just redirect the rain, but she likes nature stuff and that includes getting soaked through on occasion, kissing him in the rain, and splashing through puddles.
where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )
Her cottage, more often than not. He'll happily take her out whenever she wants to, but she's a homebody at heart and she's more fond of going for long walks in the countryside near her home or cooking together, watching old movies, that sort of thing.
who’s more protective
Him, by a million miles. She doesn't necessarily like the amount of violence in his life, but to her he's very much the capable soldier who can look after himself. But she is a pacifist and very into the hippie ideology, so especially after the Night of Knives, she relies on him to protect her. He knows damn well that the only reason he didn't lose her the same night Finbar died is because he just happened to be sleeping over and the would-be assassin got more than he bargained for.
how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )
Probably circa KOTW? It can't have been Death Bringer, or he'd have asked her to the Requiem Ball.
if they argue about anything
Not often. She's one of the most emotionally healthy people in this series, and she's the closest Skulduggery Pleasant has ever gotten to therapy. She's all about communication and talking it out.
who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )
Skug.
who steals whose clothes and how often
She steals his jackets and coats. She'll wear something just a little too light for the weather, so that he'll inevitably offer her his suit jacket. It's an old way of courting that she finds very endearing.
how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )
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what their favourite nonsexual activity is
They bring out the Old Person in each other. They like to go for long walks, and picnics, and dancing to old gramophone records. They read books and bicker about how much they did or didn't enjoy them. She likes to garden and paint, and he's not half bad at art either, so they'll paint each other and laugh about it.
how long they stay mad at each other
They don't. They argue very little in the first place, but Cassie is very communicative, so she usually manages to head off any potential arguments before they even start.
what their usual coffee / tea orders are
She has hot chocolate, and he has his black.
if they ever have any children together
No - but if he was ever going to have children with anyone else, it should probably be Cassie. She's sensible, level-headed and emotionally healthy, so he could be the same loving-but-irresponsible dad he was with Skugbab.
if they have any special pet names for each other
She's "Cassie" and he's usually "sweetheart" or "lovey".
what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )
He "moves into"/spends most of his time at her little hippie hobbit hole, so nothing matches, tapestries everywhere, Interesting™ colour schemes, fuckin...crystals and tarot cards and witchy shit everywhere. They both have to make some compromises ("You don't bug me about making the bed and I won't play the banjo in the shower")
what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like
Very inappropriate to talk about at parties.
He's a Christmas grouch, but he did get two days off work, so they basically spent the entire time eating, fucking or fast asleep.
what their names are in each other’s phones
She's just "Cassie" but that makes her one of the few people in his phone not to be "Firstname Lastname". He's "SP".
if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )
They can never really make plans for set days or times because of his incredibly erratic work schedule, but they make time every week to just spend time together. Unless the world is ending, which it usually does at least once a year.
who falls asleep first and who wakes up first
She falls asleep first at a sensible hour, and wakes up when he gets in. If she sleeps through him coming home, he'll stay up for an hour or two to work on a case, but if he wakes her, he'll go straight to bed and she'll go back to sleep with him holding her.
After the Night of Knives, she gets very anxious and stressed about being alone, especially when she hears the door open. So he'll call and wake her when he's leaving the Sanctuary, so that she knows to expect him home, and he's at the end of the phone any time she wants to get hold of him.
who’s the big spoon / little spoon
He's the big spoon like 70% of the time, but she's not opposed to letting him be the little spoon at all. Even the strongest general sometimes needs a good snuggle.
who hogs the bathroom
Cassie likes to take a book into the bath and spend hours in there. He'll come in and out as he pleases and sometimes do her hair for her or swipe bubbles on her nose.
who kills the spiders / takes them outside
Skug. This is, apparently, one of the greatest benefits to having him around all the time. He's glad she's comfortable enough with him to be honest that she's using him for his spider removal skills.
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1dclicheficfest · a year ago
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The time has come, my dears! We’ve compiled, organized and sorted your submissions and we’re ready to share them! We’ve had so much fun reading your clichés and we hope it’ll give you a good laugh.
Important disclaimer because it has to be said: we do not endorse any of the clichés submitted and these are not meant to spark Discourse™ . This is all in good fun, to spark your imagination and perhaps inspire some prompts!
Before we get to the fun part, don’t forget that prompt submissions open on February 1st and will run until March 28th. The full schedule can be found here.
And now, without further ado, here are your brilliant clichés.
HARRY
Green eyes
Huge eyes
Dimples
Always smirking
“The flirt”
Jobs: Works in a flower shop/Used to be a baker/Frat boy/LA socialite/Mermaid
“Quirky”
Clumsy/balance issues
Health nut/Workout junkie/Eats a lot of avocado and kale/loves yoga/gross green health smoothies
Very slow speech
Paints his nails
Beautiful long luscious curly hair
Long legs/large hands
Tall/large/big
Nudity/loves walking around starkers
Obsessed with being pregnant/babies
Kind to everyone
Bites his lip a lot
Tells terrible jokes/loves puns
Naive and oblivious
Clothing: Pearl necklace, Chelsea boots/gold boots/boots in general/Gucci everything/Flared, high-waisted trousers/’red and black sheer floral shirt with black skinny jeans’
Always unbuttons his shirt to show off tattoos
Baby seal laugh
Bad at driving
Hipster/takes artsy photos
Acting out for attention/Petty jealousy for no reason or because of a misunderstanding or when anyone comes near Louis
Bad dancer that gives it his all/makes awkward shapes with his limbs when trying to dance
Cat mom/Wine aunt
Resting bitch face
Rides a motorcycle
LIAM
Little clueless
Insecure
Louis is constantly messing with him
Roommates with Louis
Puppy/a lost puppy/puppy in human form/puppy eyes/puppy who doesn’t know how hot and strong he is/loves puppies
Manly muscle man/buff af/loves working out/sweet himbo beefcake
Bullied in the past
Giant heart/incredibly kind/soft/super loyal
Worry-wart/mother hen of the band/gets nervous when things don’t go to plan
Voice of reason/the responsible one/Daddy Direction/level-headed/most serious of the five/keeps the others grounded
Doesn’t know how to let loose and have fun
Lacking in experience/innocent about sex things
Oblivious to his feelings/other people’s feelings for him
Jobs: Firefighter/boxer/athlete
Super soft for Zayn
Protective
“Wants to cry as soon as Louis opens his mouth and doesn’t know if it’s because he’s scared, because it’s too funny, or because he just can’t handle any of it.”
Fear of spoons
Timid/
“being very shy/awkward in the beginning and then getting more confident because of Louis”
Snake habitat turn around!
Can’t spell
His turtle losing a foot
“Smelly pasta house”
Loves batman
Being alpha in ABOs
Unruly curly hair then trimmed to a crisp buzz
LOUIS
Blue eyes: ocean blue/blue as the sky on a sunny winter day/twinkle eyes
Arse and/or tummy as a defining feature
Sassy/sass master/feisty/snarky/cheeky/witty/playful/funny/sarcastic/joker
Flamboyant
Heart of gold/”Louis IS the sun”
“Does not suffer fools gladly (that’s your job you fooking loosah)”/hot-headed to pick fights only in defense of those he loves
Protective/Mama bear/loyal/Daddy of the group
Small/Dainty stature emphasized
Runs fingers through his fringe/hair always styled
Jobs: Footie player, teacher, drama teacher, actor, plays in a band
Loves music and writes songs
Plays footie (even if it’s not his job)
LOUD
Can’t cook/chicken wrapped in parma/”Can’t cook to save his life and if he does the kitchen ends up in flames”
Soft with Harry
School: Studying drama, being the bad boy, pop!punk Louis
Bratty/petty/snappy
Smoking
Zayn’s partner in crime
Rooms with Liam
Calls everyone ‘love’/uses too many terms of endearment
Yorkshire accent emphasized/always talks about Doncaster
Clothing: Vans or Adidas shoes/Toms/trackies/braces/red jeans/dressing in comfortable clothes only/no socks/scarf
Very good with kids/loves kids/family-oriented/looking after siblings/having a huge family
Eats junk food only
“The gay who cannot drive”
NIALL
Drinks a lot/Drinks everyone under the table because he’s Irish/Guinness lover/fun drunk/Will sing Gaelic folk songs when drunk/big social drinker-always making friends via alcohol/will kiss anyone when drunk
Food: Eats all the food/doesn’t season his food/loves Nando’s/”100% will take the last slice of pizza and not feel bad about it”/can and will eat you out of house and home/actually eats and cooks healthy but everyone thinks the opposite
Irish/Irish and proud/Wey Hey lads!/leprechaun Niall
Carefree/nothing bothers him
Romantic: falls fast and hard
Captain Niall!/Captain of the ship(s)
Music: guitar always present/Goes into the zone when he has an instrument in his hands - nothing will distract or get through to him/The Eagles fanboy/Damien Rice fanboy
Funny/always laughing/joking around/head back cackle of a laugh
Single/hooks up with a ton of people but no serious relationships/sleeps around/Serial Ladies man/Friends with benefits with multiple people at once/
Turns up the charm 100% and never half-asses it/”Scrunches his hair in thought and knows he looks cute doing so (like girls that purposefully bite their lip)”
Friends with literally everyone/has a thousand surface-level friends that think they’re close to him but keeps all at arm’s length/the greatest friend but also pickiest about who he becomes friends with
Clothing: Constantly shirtless/shorts over trousers/flip-flops as house shoes/gold chain/coin necklace/hoop earring/”golf dad that tucks in his shirts and unironically wears polos”
Obsessed with golf and football/practices his putt in the hallway with an empty loo roll
A bro
Secretly insightful/Tactless but gives essential advice as a result
Secretive/keeps his shit quiet/Definitely the guy with the most secrets
The blond one
Hairy chest
Worst poker face
Finger guns/peace signs
Blushes when he’s excited
Adores Shawn and Lewis
Cares a lot about what others think
Says no judgment but really judges a lot/judges you based on music taste
Rings in at 0 on the gaydar but could surprise you/the only het one
Tries to avoid conflict by remaining ‘on the fence’ and not picking a side
Always the roommate
Face mask selfies
Emotions rotate between sad, sexy, and fun - combination vary
Never a villain
Close with Harry
“Violent masturbating in the next room”
Constant pet names for everyone/”Even has pet names for his devices (like his vacuum robot”
ZAYN
Super smart/nerd/wise/The Ravenclaw
Smokes a lot
Secretly very soft/gentle/biggest heart/”His confidence and aloofness hide a sensitive heart of gold”/Bad boy secretly soft
Heart-eyes at Liam/Soft with Liam/”Lee-yum”
Mysterious eyes
Best friends with Louis
Jobs: Artist, tattoo artist, English teacher who loves art, works in comic book store,
Shy/withdrawn/mysterious/brooding best friend/quiet/”Seems intimidating until you realize he’s just shy”/bad boy outside, soft boy inside/”not as cool as he seems but way sweeter”
The artistic one/tortured artist/art student/skater/also does graffiti/spray-paint
Marvel fan/comic book fan/superhero fan
Clothing: Wears his clothes like armor/leather jacket/”He’s the only one with good taste and he knows it”
Most ‘devil may care’ about his sexuality
Family-oriented/family man
Involved with his religion
Model figure/carved by gods/vain but not obnoxious about it
Catchprase is ‘sick’
Needs time alone to recharge
Changes his hair a lot/that one strand of hair that falls over his eyes
Thinks Malibu is called Malabami
“Eats candy underwear off of Harry’s crotch”
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Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)
Dream
Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick
Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace
One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)
Bites ice cream with his teeth
Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time
Eats bananas with the peels
Wears mismatched socks
Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)
Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head
Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general
Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments
Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can
Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion
Wears khaki shorts
Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese
Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything
Georgenotfound
Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit
Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)
Eats peanut butter straight from the jar
Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)
Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour
Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible
Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk
Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”
Hates wearing socks
Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic
Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head
I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how
Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable
Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up
Sapnap
No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man
Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)
Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why
Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER
When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too
Wanted to play the drums at one point
Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar
Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself
Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always
Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad
ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from
Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink
Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it
Favours spearmint over peppermint
Arsonist
Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas
Badboyhalo
Washes his hands after doing literally anything
Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)
Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews
If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue
Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is
Drinks tap water
Probably prefers whiskey over beer
Knows how to tap dance a bit
Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots
Steady hands
Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate
Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)
Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards
Not great at Rock Paper Scissors
Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does
Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed
Probably tried his hand at archery
Tommyinnit
He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally
Wears socks to bed
His fingers are double jointed
Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around
His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself
Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention
Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume
Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else
FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE
Terrible handwriting
Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust
Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails
Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera
He likes pears for some reason
Wilbur Soot
Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off
He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does
Most tea is gross to him
Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny
He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out
Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered
Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick
Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice
Bonks his head on anything and everything
He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside
Thinks kinetic sand is fun
Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet
Can open a beer bottle with his teeth
Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces
Tubbo
Hates sharp cheddar cheese
Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so
Ate candle wax for a dare once
Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn
Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to
He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste
Starts vibrating if he’s too excited
Used to bite his nails
ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD
Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad
Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)
Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings
Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s
Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them
Technoblade
Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun
Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside
Really likes apple pie
Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war
Starts things as a joke and gets too into it
Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks
Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)
Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him
Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them
Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise
Really good balance
Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours
Good at knitting
Quackity
Actually fairly quiet when off camera
Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes
Country music confuses him
Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him
Can’t dance
Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol
His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones
He uses lighters as fidget toys basically
Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king
Dehydrated
Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything
Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds
Karl Jacobs
Probably ate a spider once
Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes
Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold
Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11
Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice
Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it
Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average
Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them
The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU
Loves physical affection so so much!!!!
If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly
Fantastic at making cookies
Fundy
Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level
Drives a Honda Civic
Likes ABBA
Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise
Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it
Middle child vibes
Decent at skiing
Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident
Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish
Bad at spelling
Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt
Likes bracelets and rings
Thinks pastel colours slap
JSchlatt
Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet
He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera
Can cook but chooses not to most of the time
Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads
Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be
Lowkey would fight a child
Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-
Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place
He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them
Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school
Likes physics
This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.
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rinnnyxr · a year ago
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Bold what you relate(d) to/what you were like/are like.
Infancy 1. I was born by cesarean section.  2. I was completely bald as a newborn. 3. I was a pretty tiny baby. 4. I cried a lot, almost all the time. 5. I was a cholicky baby. 6. My mom carried me in a sling. 7. I didn't know how to pet our cat right, so I pulled his hair. 8. I can remember some of my first holidays, especially Halloween and Christmas. 9. I didn't like being separated from my mom. 10. My baby blanket was sea-foam green.
11. If I had been a boy, I would've been named Zane or Joseph. 12. I was born on May 1st. 13. The worst illness I got was roseola. 14. My first stuffed animal was a teddy bear. 15. I can recall my mom singing me to sleep. 16. I was breast-fed. 17. My being born helped my dad become more mature. 18. My mom sewed a lot of clothes for me. 19. The first movie I saw was Aladdin. 20. My first pet dog was a German Shepherd.
Childhood 1. My sister was born when I was almost 2 years old. 2. I grew up without commercial television. 3. I had a giant collection of stuffed animals. 4. I loved reading stories with my parents before bedtime. 5. We got a different German Shepherd as a pet. 6. We also went through a lot of pet cats. 7. I was homeschooled for kindergarten and 1st grade. 8. I'm still friends with my first best friend. 9. I loved drawing, particularly dragons and horses. 10. My first horse was very old. 11. I preferred listening to oldies rather than things like The Backstreet Boys or N*Sync. 12. I hoped to grow up to be an author. 13. I often wrote short stories but never finished them. 14. I kept a diary. 15. I believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. 16. I took swimming lessons. 17. I was extremely shy. 18. One of my favorite books was The Little House in the Big Woods. 19. I loved to play games on our computer with my dad. 20. ^^ However, I never owned one of the older gaming systems... just a very old computer.
Pre-Teen Years 1. I was still extremely shy. 2. I discovered the convenience of the internet. 3. ^^ However, we only had dial-up. 4. I switched schools a few times. 5. I was shocked how much other kids talked about sex. 6. I was self-conscious about my looks. 7. I became really interested in anime/manga. 8. ^^ I didn't really read/watch much else. 9. My dad passed away. 10. I was really into drawing and was becoming very good. 11. My hope was to someday become a comic artist/author. 12. I got a PS2 and was really into video games, such as Final Fantasy. 13. I had a best friend with the same name as me. 14. I didn't have a very good diet. 15. We got another dog, an Australian Shepherd. 16. We began considering remodeling our house. 17. I played clarinet and was a part of my school's band. 18. I wanted to learn Japanese. 19. ^^ I also wanted to go to Japan very badly. 20. I had zero fashion sense.
Teenage Years 1. We moved into town for a while. 2. I had commercial television for the first time. 3. ^^ As well as high-speed internet. 4. I had my first boyfriend. 5. ^^ And first kiss. 6. During freshman year, I loved high school. 7. I moved on from the anime/manga scene. 8. I got better at drawing but drew less often. 9. I had more friends. 10. My self-confidence got better. 11. I switched schools multiple times. 12. I started reading a lot more often. 13. I dyed my hair for the first time. 14. I cut my hair to an inch in length. 15. We remodeled our house and moved back into it. 16. My mom started dating someone new. 17. I started to really dislike high school. 18. I had a really bad breakup. 19. I left the country for the first time. 20. I started learning French.
Present (26 Years Old) 1. I'm really ready to move on from high school to college. 2. I want to learn guitar. 3. I'm trying to get back into drawing again. 4. I can be kind of cynical. 5. I want to dye my hair a crazy color. 6. I want to learn more French... 7. ... As well as many other languages. 8. I also want to see the world. 9. I haven't decided what I want to do for a living. 10. My sister is one of my best friends. 11. One of my favorite things to read is mythology. 12. I reaaallly love classical literature. 13. I'm giving up regretting and holding grudges. 14. I'm a virgin... 15. ... and I'm waiting for someone really special to change that. 16. I can be too nice... 17. ... which makes a lot of odd guys very attracted to me. :S 18. I love fashion. 19. I have a great relationship with my mom. 20. I want try living in an apartment, at least once.
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APPEARANCE: i’m smaller than most of my friends my feet are small one of my parents/siblings has the same hair color as me my hair is naturally straight
i think i have nice arms/hands i tan easily
none of my parents/siblings has the same eye color as me
i have dimples
my forehead is big
i wear contacts/glasses i’m ginger and i have freckles
BEAUTY: i hate shaving
i go on manicure/pedicure
i do my eyebrows
i own at least one item from adidas and/or nike
i tattoed/pierced myself
i was on diet
i have pimples i do my makeup everyday
i love necklaces
i have/had dyed hair
i own 4 or more pairs of jeans i had undergone plastic surgery
DO I KNOW: how to dance limbo?
the story of how my parents met? how to swear in three or more languages? more than 3.14 of pi?
when’s my best friend’s birthday?
how to french kiss?
what goes after “in west philadelphia born and raised…”?
name all of Kardashians?
how to ride a bike?
I HAVE: made out made lasagna
slapped/punched somebody made a surprise party
smoked cigarettes
ridden on motorcycle
spent whole night without sleeping cooked a meal for somebody made it to the second base let somebody treat me like shit
been told that i was pretty/smart kissed somebody you didn’t feel attracted to cried after reading a book
WILL YOU EVER: go on university/college get married write a book
adopt a child
start a band
go on audition for a show
WOULD YOU EVER: do extreme sports? be without internet for a whole week?
forgive your significant other for cheating on you?
live without fast food for a whole year for 500 00$?
jump from Eiffel Tower for 1MIL$?
live like amish for 1 year for 500 000$?
sing in front of your whole school for free netflix for the rest of your life?
make out with your best friend’s significant other for 800$?
SOCIAL MEDIA: do you have friends on facebook that you never met in real life? do you have tumblr best friend?
did you ever post photo of your meal on instagram?
did a celebrity ever replied/followed/retweeted you/your post on any social media?
do you have stardoll account?
have you ever stalked somebody on social media?
do your friends know your wifi password?
have you ever illegally downloaded music/movies/tv shows/books?
WHICH IS BETTER: nice shoulders or nice arms
collarbones or hipbones flat stomach or long legs
lips or eyes curly hair or straight hair
six pack or nice arms long eyelashes or nice eyebrows
funny or romantic
RANDOM: have you ever seen a cow in real life? did you ever swim in a river? have you ever talked to your pet? have you ever helped your friend get ready for a date?
have you been in a fist fight?
were you ever been in a love triangle?
have you ever had period cramps? did you put your name in the goblet of fire?
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*LOVES* 1. Netflix 2. Apple cider 3. Sephora 4. Self-help books 5. NYLON Magazine 6. Family Guy 7. Sunglasses 8. The Big Bang Theory 9. Last.fm 10. Forever 21 11. Shoulder bags 12. Bangles 13. Scary movies 14. Art supplies 15. Driving 16. Writing poetry 17. White chocolate Reese’s 18. Glee 19. Fashion 20. The Simpsons 21. Heavy blankets 22. Christmas 23. Friends (the show) 24. Arrested Development 25. Rings 26. My MacBook Pro 27. Sleeping 28. Staying up late 29. Mexican food 30. America’s Next Top Model 31. Legally Blonde 32. Floral dresses 33. Boots 34. Kitties 35. Dogs 36. Animals, in general 37. Board games 38. Beer 39. Red wine 40. Scarves 41. Vanilla Coke 42. Butterscotch 43. Documentaries 44. Writing 45. Skinny jeans 46. Naps 47. A clean bedroom 48. Having clean hair 49. Nail polish 50. Children 51. Jersey Shore 52. Traveling 53. California 54. Teen Mom 55. The ocean 56. Cuddling 57. Holding hands 58. Kissing 59. Having sex 60. Talking on the phone with the guy I like 61. Being home alone 62. Reading 63. Strawberry-flavored things 64. Indie music 65. Everlasting Gobstoppers 66. King of the Hill 67. Cream soda 68. Headbands 69. Sandals 70. Perfume 71. YouTube 72. CollegeHumor 73. Facebook 74. Naming things 75. Long hair 76. Dark-haired guys 77. When guys wear glasses 78. Sunshine 79. Storms 80. The Fourth of July 81. Pizza 82. Bob Dylan 83. Singing 84. Clam chowder 85. Garlic 86. Polar bears 87. Bronzer 88. Chocolate 89. Popcorn 90. Road trips 91. Seeing musicals 92. Bo Burnham 93. Demetri Martin 94. The color yellow 95. The color green 96. The color pink 97. The color blue 98. Stud earrings 99. Fairs 100. Autumn
*HATES* 1. Doing dishes 2. Cleaning 3. Tomatoes 4. Moulin Rouge 5. When my computer freezes 6. Potato skins 7. The color red 8. The color orange 9. Pumping gas 10. Pomegranate 11. Predictability 12. Rihanna 13. Hoop earrings 14. Halloween 15. Gin 16. MySpace 17. Twitter 18. Flip flops 19. Liquid Eyeliner 20. Repetition 21. Metal Music 22. Over-analyzing 23. Worrying 24. Anxiety 25. Uncoated pills 26. Having to wake up early 27. Hot chocolate 28. Wal-Mart 29. Bird poop on my car 30. Inconsiderate people 31. Nightmares 32. Chores 33. Hanging up clothes 34. Being tired 35. Cramps 36. Being ignored 37. Losing touch 38. Alarm clocks 39. Skiing 40. Football 41. Golf 42. Hummers 43. Pickles 44. Makeup lines 45. Too much sauce on my pizza 46. Acne 47. When there’s nothing good on TV 48. When plans fall through 49. Not having money 50. Being too hot
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NAMES Your first name begins with a C. Your first name contains 6 letters. Your mom solely picked out your name prior to your birth. Your first name is of Latin origin. You like your first name. Your surname contains 7 letters. Your surname begins with a C. Many people have had trouble spelling or pronouncing your surname. When you get married, you’ll choose to take your partner’s surname.
BIRTHDAY, BIRTHPLACE & THE LIKE You were born outside of the United States. You’re a Capricorn. You think most of your personality traits are akin to your zodiac sign. You have lived in more than one foreign country. You have one sister. You have half-siblings. You have step-siblings. You’re a middle child. One of your parents is deceased. Two of your grandparents are deceased. You would love to have kids of your own some day. You would consider adopting a child. You don’t see much of your relatives very often. You have a first cousin you haven’t seen in 10+ years. You’re in your late 20s. You have completed at least some college.
SPORTS & OTHER ACTIVITIES You’re not an athletic person. …but you try to remain physically active. You don’t understand the concept of American football. You like soccer. You’re a fan of the NY Mets. You’ve tried skiing and figure skating. You have a gym membership. You like ice hockey. You have watched a game/match (of any professional sport) LIVE. You like to swim, but are not very good at it.
RELATIONSHIPS & ROMANCE You’re in a committed relationship. You’ve been committed to your partner for 6+ months. You’re a sucker for old, romantic films. You’ve watched porn movies on cable. You’ve personally experienced a pregnancy. You plan to marry the person you’re involved with now.
RANDOM MIX You prefer winter over summer. You like the cold. New Year’s Eve is your favorite holiday. Christmas really bores or depresses you. You’re agnostic or atheist. You’re socially liberal. You have pen pals from foreign countries. You have a Tumblr account. You’re a proponent of LGBT, animal and environmental rights. You’re thrifty. You have lived with roommates… …and hated it! You find the terms “retard” and “fag” very offensive and overused. You’re multi-ethnic. You’re trying to omit sweets from your diet. You’ve recently quit drinking or smoking. You’re currently unemployed. You love techno music. You’re an 80s brat. You’re bilingual. At least one of your family members has served in the military. You believe war is not a solution to ANYTHING! You fidget constantly when feeling nervous or bored. You’re a suburbanite. You have owned a dog, cat, some fish, or a rabbit. You know someone with a neurological disorder like ADHD, epilepsy, OCD, etc. You’re a grammar freak. You’ve participated in a spelling bee in elementary school. You prefer swimming in a natural body of water over a swimming pool. You have naturally wavy hair. You love to travel…. but hate traveling by plane!! You don’t own a desktop computer. You like spicy and sweet foods. You thought George W. Bush was one of the dumbest U.S. presidents ever. You’ve been to NY…. California… Massachusetts… Florida… Washington, DC… Texas… Virginia… Maryland… New Jersey… New Hampshire… Rhode Island… Maine… Canada… Western Europe… You’re a natural brunette, but have colored it before. You think you have a dis-proportioned physique. You think horror movies are more dumb than scary. You prefer to spend your Friday and Saturday nights quietly. You’ve taken a ballet or jazz class. You know how to play a musical instrument. You hate to cook and really suck at it. You don’t attend parties very often. You’ve pondered about how overall life was like 100 years ago.
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graynovemberr · 2 years ago
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I learned about 6 categories of coping skills in the hospital, and here they are with some examples! (Transcribed below the cut)
Distraction coping skills are good for when you need to push a thought or feeling away until you can safely deal with it
Grounding coping skills are good for dissociation or panic/anxiety, to bring you back into the present moment.
Emotional release coping skills are good for when you’re in a safe space to let out your feelings and process them.
Self love skills are good for everyday coping, when you’re feeling unworthy, worthless, or really just feeling down on yourself.
Thought challenge skills are good for when your thoughts are heading down a bad place, and you need to change your way of thinking or challenge those bad thoughts.
Accessing your higher self basically means anything that is giving back to the world or to someone, or anything spiritual. Something that gives you purpose.
Transcription:
Distractions
-make a playlist
-sing or dance to music
-any kind of art
-writing/poetry
-cleaning
-cook/bake
-print pictures, coloring pages, etc
-make pinterest boards
-do a pinterest DIY
-go shopping
-decorate
-write a thank you note
-make a spell bottle
-organize the photos on your phone/laptop
-doodle some quotes
-feed ducks or birds or squirrels
-watch funny videos
-watch DIY videos
Grounding
-yoga/tai chi/meditate
-exercise
-lotion or aromatherapy
-watch a candle flame
-icy hot gel/tiger balm
-touch ice/ice water
-music
-cinnamon candy
-spicy food
-deep breathing
-walk barefoot in grass
-stretching
-fidgets/sensory toys
-progressive muscle relaxation
-shower
-hot beverage
-go for a drive
Emotional Release
-crying
-venting
-sing/music
-laughing
-exercise
-art
-writing/journaling
-stream of consciousness
-call a crisis line or friend
Self Love Skills
-make a self love post online
-shower
-pamper yourself
-face mask/sugar scrub
-eat/drink water
-good smelling lotion
-cleaning
-hobbies
-movie night
-treat yo-self
-essential oils
-eat healthy
-gratitude journaling
-snuggle a pet
-make a hot beverage
-recognize accomplishments
Thought Challenge Skills
-identify cognitive distortions (CBT)
-talk to yourself as if you’re your own best friend
-journal
-imagine your “depression voice” is Trump or someone you highly disrespect
-wise mind
-stop labeling (“stupid” “good” “bad” “ugly” etc)
-opposite action
Access Your Higher Self
-volunteer
-make affirmation notes
-meditation
-sigils/spells/witchcraft
-praying
-help someone out
-clean the house
-make a positive post
-plant something
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aeide-thea · 2 years ago
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god that ‘hot/funny/can dance/can do math/can spell/can drive/can cook’ post is stressing me tf out for some reason??? i think bc the first three are untrue but i can live with that as long as i don’t have to actively think about their being untrue, which having the post repeatedly crop up on my dash is forcing me to
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brownskinsugarplum76 · 3 years ago
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Eye of the Storm, Ch 5
So, Maggie and Robert have made it home! There are lots of tender moments and a little smut. The full smut experience will come in another chapter or two.
Catch up on the story here. This is probably also a good time to reiterate that this is an AU story - - Robert is single, but I'm trying to hold on to as much of the rest of the LZ story that I can.
Thanks to @firethatgrewsolow for doing her excellent beta thing! ❤️❤️❤️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This really is paradise...” Maggie exited the car and marveled at the vividly colored flora before her and the rhythmic crash of the ocean that could be heard from behind the house.
She admired the sprawling, modern ranch with white walls and ceiling-to-floor windows that Robert had been calling home for quite some time. She decided she could get used to the stark, sunny house that sat in the middle of so much natural beauty.
Robert grabbed Maggie's bags. “Indeed. Coming here was the best possible decision we could've made for our tax exile hideaway. Abundant sun, the ceaseless roar of the ocean, and a short drive away from my favorite American playground… Paradise, that.”
They walked to the door. “Hold a tick, would you, love?” Robert walked the bags into the house.
“Thank you for agreeing to live with me for a fortnight… Or longer?" He asked when he returned, his voice full of hope. "I want to do this properly.” Before Maggie could ask him to explain what he wanted to do, or his mischievous grin, he lifted her into his arms and carried her over the threshold. He kicked the door shut behind them.
Maggie was all smiles and feeling like a queen. She settled on that description, quickly dispatching all of the bride and groom thoughts that tried to form in her head. Robert had yet to marry, and she expected that he wasn't the marrying kind. She didn't exactly mind, though, because she questioned whether it was the path for her. She wondered if living with Robert would change her mind, or if he would set her against marriage forever.
He lowered her to standing. With her back to the door, he caged her in his arms. Then he littered her with kisses, both delicate and rough.
She wound her hands into his hair and was thankful for the feel of his fluffy curls to ground her in reality, despite how hard Robert was trying to make her spin away into romantic dreams.
He caressed her face and backed up a few steps. “Welcome to my humble abode.”
“I must say, I do like the door to door service. Is that the custom here?” She was still too intoxicated from Robert's kisses to focus on the surroundings. A private chance to take a good, close look at him after so many months apart kept her mind occupied, and she didn't mind one bit.
“What's in it for me?” Robert stepped toward her again. He placed his hands on her shoulders and then let his fingers trail slowly down her arms.
“I think you remember, don't you?” She gazed into his heavy-lidded eyes and willed him to kiss her again.
This time their lips connected in a slow, rambling dance that made Maggie tingle from head to toe and purr contentedly. It wasn't the excited reunion kiss at the park, or even one of the lazy, familiar kisses they shared in the car. This intimate exchange was filled with warmth and romantic serenity and seemed capable of going on forever.
It was, however, over far too soon, when the phone on the coffee table started ringing. Robert sighed at the breaking of their spell. He ultimately chose to ignore the interruption in favor of Maggie, but in the jarring cacophony that separated them, she turned her attention toward the living room while the phone continued to ring.
She brushed her lips against Robert's one more time and walked out of the foyer. "So, what do we have here?" As much as she enjoyed his embrace, a chance to take stock of his current domestic habits was too good to pass up.
She expected there to be disorder that would reflect Robert's vagabond approach to life and the jumble of diverse thoughts that he always seemed to bandy about in his mind, but there was order and simplicity. She admired a glass coffee table and end tables, a navy set of sofas and love seats, and a wood-panel, floor-model television with a stereo perched on top. Albums making up a respectable record collection rested against the wall. A bookcase to one side of the room contained books on everything from early blues artists to Welsh mythology and a Fodor's guide to Morocco. A Persian area rug brought a little exoticism to an otherwise visually nondescript room.
“I see the look on your face, Mags." He closed the space between them and caressed her shoulders while lightly kissing her on the neck. "There's a housekeeper who comes by once a week. You have her to thank for the orderly Architectural Digest vibes that you see before you.”
“It looks fantastic.” She walked past the dining room, which had the same color scheme and was just as neat, save the bottles of a few different kinds of spirits at varying levels of use that greeted her on the table.
“How about meals?” She opened the refrigerator. “Have you gotten beyond boiling water?” She noticed takeout and some Tupperware containers that were half full.
“I have the best help that money can buy for that, too,” he responded, sitting on the couch and groaning as he extended his legs for a much needed stretch. “There's a lovely cook who comes by twice a week, bless her. She reminds me of my mum, which means no mayhem until she leaves.”
“The high priest of debauchery has adopted some decorum?” Maggie asked, returning to the living room and flopping down next to Robert.
“It appears that I've slowed down a bit. Blame the morphine for that…” He chuckled. “No, a little time away from the scene has given me much-needed perspective on life… Oh, speaking of Miss Betsy, the cook, I should mention that she and Miss Ellen, the housekeeper, have their own keys to get in. Cole and Benji, too.”
“Last but not least,” he said, “remind me and I'll give you a key of your own. I have a duplicate or two in the bedroom. It was easier to give people keys when I was resigned to wheelchair transport, you know? And I'll also get you the spare key for the Rover.”
“Thanks, Robert.” She was still having trouble believing that she would be living with Robert, but she had to admit that it was beginning to feel like home.
“Right. Let me put your jacket away, and then we'll get on with things, yeah?" He helped her shrug out of her coat and hung their outerwear in a foyer closet.
"Next on the grand tour are the beds and baths. We'll walk by Benji's bedroom, too. He doesn't live here, strictly speaking, but he's been around enough over the past several months that it made sense to give him an official place to crash.”
They kept walking. “Then there are a few other empty bedrooms for guests, and bathrooms for them to share.”
He paused at one room. “And this,” he said, opening the door, “is where the magic happens. Most of the time, you understand. For songwriting, uh, and more…”
Maggie entered the room and walked around while Robert opened the windows.
Much to her surprise, there were no piles of clothes or shoes on the floor. An ironing board rested against the wall next to the closet. He had more respect for the sanctity of his own bedroom than he did for the rooms he slept in on the road. She'd always guessed that there were two sides to Robert's life, and the peaceful, orderly nest that he'd shared with her was the clearest indication yet. She wondered what other surprises she'd encounter as she got to witness his life off of the road.
Though the room was tidy on the whole, she smiled as she began to recognize telltale signs of Robert's presence. There was the unmade bed, with his latest song notebook and a pen still in place from morning writing. A teacup sat on the nightstand. Just outside, on the patio, an overflowing ashtray sat on a small wrought-iron table. A  cluster of earrings, necklaces, and rings sat on the dresser, along with a feather roach clip. She'd seen him wear one in his hair before; she didn't know if the clip was for function or fashion, but either way, she knew his prized bundle of Acapulco Gold and its necessary accouterments would not be too far out of reach.
Also on the dresser were a wooden brush and a few different bottles of cologne. She imagined Robert standing at the dresser looking in the large mirror and toying with his locks. She had helped him with the task many times when his hair was too tangled, and she wondered who had done that for him most recently.
She noticed that the mirror faced the bed and was thankful for a reason to stop the line of thinking about his most recent conquests. She chuckled, knowing the mirror placement wasn't coincidence.
"What's so funny?" She turned around and saw Robert staring intently at her while he sprawled across the bed, on his side.
"I'm laughing at how you arranged things so that you can watch yourself in the mirror when you--"
"--Now, now, Maggie, I remember that you enjoyed it once or twice yourself, at some of America's finest lodging establishments. I'll be expecting a rousing 'you're welcome' from you, for said mirror placement, before we leave for the tours."
Her laughter turned to silence and blushing. "You're right," she admitted, approaching the bed. "It is hard to keep my eyes off of you."
"I feel the same about you, darlin'..." He stared up at her, beaming an affectionate smile. He crooked his finger and wiggled it at her. "I'm feeling a little lonely over here on this bed. Come join me, will you?"
Maggie climbed on and lay down, facing him.
"Ah, that's much better… A view that is only in competition with the splendor of the beach. But you get my vote for my favorite wild, beautiful territory to explore…" he murmured as he tenderly brushed a lock of her hair out of her face.
"It's a place I know well and love… Every mountainous curve, every flat plain, and especially that hot spring in the center of your world…" He trailed a couple of his elegant fingers down her neck, before letting his hand alight on her hip. "God, I've missed you, Maggie." He sighed as he leaned in closer. "I was a bloody fool to have kept myself away from you."
He nestled his other hand in her hair and drank in her essence by melding his lips to hers and letting his tongue  meander in her mouth. She gracefully yielded to his familiar, easygoing passion.
They both purred as the kiss continued. Maggie's fingers traipsed gently in Robert's hair, and one of his hands crept under her shirt and made its way north, traveling the distance with a slow, feather-light touch.
Maggie's breathing hitched and she shuddered as a tidal wave of carnal memories were triggered by Robert's kisses and caresses. Each private second of their time together, on and off over the past four years, came to life in her mind and her body once more. Without a visit from his irrepressible manhood she was still lost in the wake of the euphoric feelings that he stoked in her body with ease.
Her back arched as Robert made it to a nipple and brushed and tugged at it until it sprang to life. She moaned as heat and wetness began to pool inside of her.
"My sweet, sweet Maggie…" He rasped his proclamation and searched her eyes, still toying with her nipple, still not in a rush to do more.
"I've missed you so much," she sighed as her hand trailed down his back.
"I can't wait to be yours, Robert..." Her voice trailed off as he started to work on the button on her jeans.
"You already are. Mine. Only our tours will separate us now, darlin'. You have my word." He rose above her on all fours, kissing her and sending her zipper down its track.
She lifted her hips and he peeled the denim off her shapely brown legs. He palmed her between her legs and growled softly when he realized she was soaked through her panties. She felt his manhood begin to stir, even behind the sturdy fabric of his Landlubbers.
Robert rose to his knees and was about to take his pants down when a cacophony of animal noises started on the beach.
"Dammit, Strider," he muttered, instantly knowing what had happened as the chorus of excited dog barks and seagull cries continued.
Maggie shared Robert's love of animals, but in that moment, the chaos on the beach hit her like the cruelty of an alarm jolting someone out of a beautiful, lucid dream. She gazed in Robert's eyes, trying to make sense of what was going on. "Is everything OK?"
Robert sighed and then laughed. "Mags, I hate to interrupt, but I must subdue my precious canine, who enjoys the company of seagulls a little too much."
He stood, located her pants, and handed them to her. "Makes me wonder if this is his payback for no introduction between you two yet…"
"Sounds like he's used to special treatment, after you went and wrote a song about him," she said as she got dressed again. "That means his behavior is all your fault," she teased.
Robert grabbed Maggie for another deep kiss. "You'll soon find my blue-eyed boy has a mind of his own… But I never hold that against anyone who truly cares for me." He winked at Maggie, explaining how he felt about Strider and her in one simple quip. It made Maggie wonder if any of his songs were about her, or if any might be in the future.
"OK, ready to meet the furriest member of our family?" He linked his arm with hers as they headed for the sand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary
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grungeandrockoneshots · 4 years ago
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Could I ask for a Stone one-shot? It can be about whatever you want, but with smut please lol 😂
You were sitting in Stone’s car on the way to his parents‘house to meet them for the very first time. You haven’t been this much nervousfor a long time. It was evident that you wanted to make the best impression youcould and it was really important to you not to disappoint either them orStone. You spent an hour in front of your wardrobe choosing the perfectclothes, but now when you looked down on your body, doubts immediately filled yourhead.
„I don’t know, isn’t this skirt too short? I shoud have wornthat black jeans instead. Oh my God, why do I never choose right?“
„You’re such a drama queen, Y/N,“ Stone laughed at you,„You’re going to meet my parents and not…the Queen of England.“
„Trust me, it would have been much easier for me to meet her ratherthan your parents. What if they won’t like me? Don’t laugh at me, Stone, youhave no idea how important this is to me!“ you defended yourself, while hisface was still amused.
„Babe, I love you, so there isn’t any possible reason theyshouldn’t love you, too. It’s gonna be fine. You don’t know how happyI am to finally show them my girl,“ he calmed you down, but you weren’t sure ifit worked. You were still pretty nervous.
After few minutes you stopped in front of a beautiful housewith a large garden. Stone never told you he’d grown up in such a magnificentplace. He took your hand as you were walking towards the door. He had to ringthe bell after he found out he’d forgotten the keys home. While you were waitingoutside, he put his arm around your waist, pulled you closer and gave you akiss in your hair. A moment later a short lady with glasses and likeable man byher side appeared in the door. You smiled nervously, greeted them and Stonefortunately took the words. He introduced you to each other and then theyinvited you in. It was just around the lunchtime, so by the pleasant smell yousupposed you’re going to eat. Stone’s mum confirmed your thoughts when shesaid: „I hope you’re hungry, I’m just about to take the lunch out of the oven.Just sit somewhere, I’ll be right back.“
„Oh, don’t you need help with anything?“ you askedautomatically. She gratefully smiled and shook her head, while her husband wasalready offering you a chair.
„She’ll manage. You two tell me how was the drive?“ hestarted a conversation. Soon the biggest anxiety faded away as you got into thenice talk about your family with Mr. Gossard. It turned out that he actually knewyour mum from high school and that he used to have a crush on her but nevertold her. He told you few stories about your mum you’ve never heard before andby the time Stone’s mum returned to the table with a lunch, you were alreadyvery amused and relaxed by Mr. Gossard’s narration. You slowly started to bemore comfortable which was a great sign.
You started eating the lunch which was delicious. Now youfinally understood why Stone talked about his mum’s cuisine so often. She musthave been a cook in her previous life. When you finished, she brought cake andreplaced her husband in talking. She was curious about your relationship, joband interests. Just as you started talking about physical activities, Stone’shand found its way to your thigh under the table and nestled there.
„I like to skate or go for a run, but you know, there’s notmuch time for it any-“
„Wait, didn’t you forget about anything?“ Stone interruptedyou, grabbing you a bit tighter. You immediately understood what he meant bythat cheeky note and tried to act like as it was a normal question, even thoughthe colour of your cheeks didn‘t lie. You couldn’t believe he did this to you rightin front of his parents.
„Uh, maybe cycling? I don’t know, I don’t mind doing any sport from time to time,“ you smiled andtook Stone’s hand off of your thigh. You gave him a quick warning gaze to whichhe reacted with a content smirk.
„I was just wondering, because you look very fit. I loveyour shirt by the way,“ Mrs. Gossard made a compliment.
„Me too,“ Stone cut in and you caught him staring at yourneckline. You stepped on his foot under the table. A second later his handoccupied you thigh again. As you got into the conversation with his mum again,he started doing everything to keep you distracted. He caressed your skin,leaving short messages there. It was hard to concentrate on both him and hisparents, but tried to play it all cool. You almost had a heart attack in onemoment when you realized that Stone has already written ‚I wanna fuc‘ on yourthigh. You stepped on him again, wanting him to stop immediately. When heslowly slipped his hand under the hem of your skirt and continued higher, youhad enough. You needed to be comfortable and it definitely wasn’t possible withhis hand in your lap.
„I’m sorry, where will I find a bathroom?“ you excusedyourself. But before Stone’s parents could respond, he took the word himself:„I’ll show you. I wanted you to see the whole house anyway.“ You both stood upfrom the table and walked out of the dining room. As soon as the door closedbehind you, you started yelling at Stone in whisper: „Are you fucking serious?What the hell are they going to think? God, why can’t you act normal for once,Stone?“ While you were angrily staring at him, he looked quite calm and happy. Hissatisfied smile only enraged you more. „Idiot, I’m really looking forward toyou meeting my parents. I’ll make you a hell out of it.“
„Just continue being this agressive and I swear I’m gonnabend you over that table in the corner and let everyone in this house know whatwe’re doing,“ he threatened you and you only rolled your eyes.
„Sometimes you’re so funny that I forget to laugh,“ youbrushed him off.
„You see, I have the same problem. Sometimes you’re so hotthat I forget to control myself. Look at me, I have a damn boner just bylooking at you, Y/N. I’m not gonna go back like this.“
„You’ll have to,“ you shrugged, whereat he unexpectedlythrew you over his shoulder and went upstairs. You were kicking your feet andtelling him to stop, but he didn’t get you down until you ended up locked inhis old bedroom. He pushed you against the door, making you feel the heat forthe first time today. He caught your lips in his and even though you didn’twant to kiss him in return, his spell was stronger than your will. „Stone, stop.Wait until we get home.“
„I don’t want to. And neither you do,“ he sucked on yourlips again.
„How do you know?“ you asked.
„Do you think I don’t feel your hands under my tshirt?“ helaughed slightly and you realized your hands really decided to do the explorationof their own. A big ‚fuck it‘ flew through your head.
„Okay, I’m giving up. But you better be quick.“ Hevictoriously wrapped his arms around your waist and squeezed you in apassionate kiss. You threw your arms around his neck and giggled a bit when youfelt how hard he really was. There wasn’t a single centimeter between yourbodies and feeling his fast heartbeat was exciting. Your tongues were dancingtogether and your lovesick touches were only making the desire grow bigger andbigger. As he moved down on your neck, you unbottoned his jeans and draggedthem down a bit along with his boxers. He didn’t stay behind at all and wantedto reach for your panties as well, but to his surprise he didn’t find anythere.
„What? My girlfiend doesn’t wear panties to the familylunches?“ he laughed surprised.
„Shut up, Stone, they would be visible under this,“ youreplied with burning cheeks.
„Well, at least I can go straight from doing this,“ he heldyou up by your legs and lifted you, making you wrap your legs around his waist,„to doing this.“ He entered you with his whole length which led touncontrollable moaning from your mouths. You tried to quieten it by sticking toStone’s lips, but it didn’t work much. He moved his hips fast, so it was veryhard for you to stay calm and quiet. You were tugging his hair while he wascausing you such a great pleasure. The adrenaline you had in your veins wasundescribable. Stone kept heightening the tempo until he reached his orgasm.And because you weren’t far from it, too, he put you down on your feet andfinished you with a hand. You dug your nails into his back as you breathed outhis name in orgasm.
When you caught your breath again and encouraged yourselffor getting back downstairs, you left the room. Stone took your hand and gaveyou a last kiss before you entered the dining room.
„Your house is so beautiful, I love it,“ youenthusiastically said as soon as you sat down again.
„But mostly Stone’s room, right?“ Mr. Gossard asked with agrin. You looked at Stone and you both started laughing. You were so embarrassed,but you didn’t mind anymore. What happened, happened.
„Yeah, dad, she loves my room. I can’t promise we won’t takeanother trip there,“ he pulled you to him with a laughter and kissed you on thecheek.
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Here you go♥
28 notes · View notes
rinnnyxr · a year ago
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Goth worn black lipstick? dyed your hair black? worn a black leather jacket? smoked a cigarette? shaved part of your head? gotten a mohawk? gotten a lip piercing? worn black boots? shopped at Hot Topic?  wrote an emo song or poem? worn a plaid skirt? gotten a tattoo? wanted a tattoo? 6/14
Girly had a little dog? gotten a manicure? straightened your hair? owned a designer purse? worn pink lipstick? worn pink nail polish? worn mascara? gotten a free makeover? worn high heels? worn a mini skirt? been to Paris? screamed upon seeing a spider?  worn expensive perfume? shopped in New York?
8/14
Nerdy played Dungeons and Dragons? been to a gaming convention? worn tape around your glasses? worn a plaid shirt? worn suspenders? solved math equations just for fun? enjoyed playing with a calculator? stuck a pen behind your ear? broke your nose? pulled a door that said "push" or vice versa? been on the honor roll? read a graphic novel? dressed up as an anime character? worn thick black-rimmed glasses? 8/14
Preppy worn "in" clothes? done your hair like everybody else, in the "in" way? dressed in the "in" style? been a teacher's favorite student? gotten straight A's in a class? enjoyed school? worn a button-up shirt? worn a sweater vest? been in a clique? started a rumor? spread a rumor? had a high school crush? passed notes in class? worn knee-high socks? 10/14
Hippie owned a lava lamp? tie-dyed something? owned a dream catcher? worn a peace sign necklace? made a peace sign with your hands? been a nature lover? gone camping? slept under the stars? considered yourself spiritual? considered yourself unconventional? smoked weed? enjoyed art class? enjoyed creative writing? walked barefoot through the grass? 6/14
Redneck/Hillbilly lived on a farm? driven a tractor to school? listened to country music and enjoyed it? worn cowboy boots? danced at a ho-down? worn a cowboy hat? showed animals at a county fair? been in 4H? milked a cow? ridden a horse? driven a tractor? lived in the country? sat on a hay bail? plucked a chicken's feathers? 2/14
Band Geek been to band camp? played an instrument? been a section leader? liked football games only because of the band?
1/5
Religious been to church camp? been baptized? read the Bible? been to church? worn a WWJD bracelet? been on a missions trip? been to Sunday school? been to an Easter service? been to a Christmas service?
2/9
Bohemian considered yourself spiritual? enjoyed making art? enjoyed creative writing? written a song or poem or story? enjoyed dancing? enjoyed signing? enjoyed making music? considered yourself a dancer, singing, musician, artist, writer or designer worn something long and flowy? had long hair? believed in peace, freedom, and love? painted something? been to a rennessaince faire? played a tambourine? liked fairies? had long, wavy hair? had dreadlocks? worn a dream catcher necklace? worn something with fringe? owned a crocheted blanket? considered yourself a nature lover? walked barefoot in the summer? sang songs around a campfire? been to a music festival?
15/24
Jock been on a sports team? ran a mile? worn a sports jersey? ran a 5k? had a favorite sports team? been to professional sports game? watched the Super Bowl for the actual game itself? been to a Super Bowl party?
4/8
Trendsetter worn something, and then someone liked it and bought the same thing? started doing something, and others followed you or copied you? gotten compliments on the way you dress? been told you are unique? worn something just because you liked it? started a fad or a trend at school? stood out from the crowd? won a costume contest? collected clippings from fashion magazines? enjoyed putting outfits together? 6/10
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Aries You love adventure. You are very energetic. Confident and enthusiastic. You're sharp and quick minded. Passionate. You can be self-centered at times. You are quick tempered. Impulsive. Procrastinator. You take unnecessary risks. Total: 7
Taurus Reliable. You have lots of patience. You are very determined. Your mind is very secured. It's easy for you to become jealous. You can be resentful. You can become greedy at times. You are rigid. You want to go in the business industry. You are extremely faithful. Total: 5
Gemini You are very versatile. You like changes. You are talkative. You seem to be very quick-witted. You're pretty smart. You would consider yourself to be polite. Energetic. You are very inconsistent. Prone to nervousness. Cunning. Total: 4
Cancer You are very loving. Emotional. Very sensitive. You're very nurturing. You have an active imagination. It's not hard for you to be sympathetic. Very indecisive. Clingy. Over-emotional. You are very moody. Total: 9
Leo You are generous. Warmhearted. You believe you're pretty creative. You tend to be bossy at times. Very outgoing. You make sure you are 100% faithful. You are intolerant. You interfere a lot. You are a loving person. Open minded. Total: 5
Virgo You are very modest. You have the tendency to be shy. Reliable. You are practical. Intelligent. You are very fussy. You tend to worry. You can be overcritical at times. Perfectionist. You are conservative. Total: 7
Libra Romantic and charming. You are very easygoing and sociable. You're an idealist. Very caring. You get told that you are talented. You enjoy change. You are flirtatious. You have a short temper. Daydreaming is one of your hobbies. Gullible. Total: 4
Scorpio You are determined. Emotional. You are powerful and passionate. You are easily liked. Patient. You are loyal. Generous. You become jealous easily. You tend to be secretive. You have strong sexual desires. Total: 5
Sagittarius You are optimistic. You love your freedom. You are very honest. Adventurous. You are careless. Tendency to be irresponsible. You become depressed easily. You are restless. You take those around you for granted. You care about the environment. Total: 4
Capricorn You are very cautious. Reserved. Very ambitious. You stay cool under pressure. Others say you are funny. You are pessimistic. You don't show your sensitivity to others. You are sometimes selfish. Hold onto grudges. You have great patience. Total: 4
Aquarius You are friendly. Humanitarian. You are lively. Honest and loyal. You crave to be different. You are independent. Unpredictable. You are chaotic. Rebellious. You tend to be unemotional. Total: 2
Pisces You are imaginative. You are very sensitive. You are emotionally weak. Artistic. You are idealistic. You tend to be careless. You are easily confused. You are sometimes immoral. Receptive to new thinking. Impractical. Total: 6
You are: Cancer (irl I am Virgo).
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I know how to cook toast. I can do my own laundry. I can cook for myself. I actually enjoy intellectual conversations. Total so far = 4
I show up for school all of the time unless I'm sick. I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse. I've never gotten a detention. I've watched talk shows. I drink coffee/tea at least once a week. Total so far = 7
I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes. I can count to 5 in either Spanish/French /German/Italian/etc. When I say I'm going to do something I always do it. I can mow the lawn. I remember to water my plants. I study when I HAVE to. I pay attention at school most of the time. Total so far = 10
I can spell experience without looking it up. I can go to the store without getting something I don't need. I always understand jokes the first time they are said. I can type fast Total so far = 14
I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour. I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 20 and have a job.  I can read a book and actually finish it. Total so far = 16
I knew that the alphabet and twinkle twinkle little star have the same rhythm. You just checked. You actually watch the weather. total = 17
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1. Geek/Nerd You wear glasses You sometimes put a pencil/pen in your ear You are very awkward You say things that no one really understands Your shoe size is over 10 You play a lot of online gaming You think your hair looks strange  TOTAL: 3
2. Jock You have beefy arms  You don't mind dressing in front of some people You are quite a show-off You sometimes bully people around You charge in to deal with problems head-on You wear your team color(s) even in your spare time Conflict can be in your nature sometimes TOTAL: 1
3. Gamer You can be very prone to anger You can think of 10 good reasons why video games are good for you  It drives you crazy when someone holds the disks like this You know what the terms "squeaker", "camper", and "spawn-trapper" mean You've owned more than one game console/hand-held device in your life You agree that the most difficult of games came from 90's Nintendo You take a side in the battle between the Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises  TOTAL: 3
4. Emo You deny that you're emo, even when people tell you You have said "I'm just me" You once had a phase where you wanted to be the next Tim Burton [or still are] You wear dark eyeliner, even if it's only on special occasions You have some form of material possession with black and white stripes You've been to Warped Tour You like the taste of Monster Energy, or you hate the taste but drink it anyway TOTAL: 3
5. Goth You genuinely read Edgar Allan Poe in your spare time You drink coffee You've sworn revenge on people who've wronged you You get pissed when people mistaken you for an emo You listen to 80's post-punk [If yes, immediately give yourself 2 points for actually being a musically cultured Goth.]  You've actually frightened people before You think ravens are cool  TOTAL: 3
6. Rock Junkie You've been in a band before, or are still in a band You can name some actual garage bands You can play Guitar Hero You get overly excited when you hear a rock song in public You claim that "Nickelback killed the rock scene" Dave Grohl is the savior of the rock scene You know how easy it is to lose guitar picks TOTAL: 1
7. Punk You are very bias on whether blink-182 is punk or not You've used safety pins as apparel before You have or had a Mohawk or wanted one at some point in your life You hate MTV, and you know the one song dissing it You think The Ramones are underrated You've shouted "Sellout!" before You've been to an ACTUAL pit TOTAL: 0
8. Metalhead You at least know the basics to playing guitar You also enjoy classic rock You pretty much like every and any form of rock music You let your hair grow You hate bad pop music You really love to play Guitar Hero You play your music at max volume TOTAL: 4
9. Surfer You live in the West coast, or wish you did  You wear a Hawaiian shirt You like to get up early You hate tourist season You listen to the Beach Boys or The Police You know who Dick Dale is You like to say Dude, even to females TOTAL: 2
10. Gangsta You use the N word, even if it's to yourself You are streetwise You wear a cap backwards You can rap hell as good Your father or grandfather swears as much as you do You want to stop to eat every time you see a nice restaurant You can run fast, even when carrying something  TOTAL: 0
11. Cholo You're a fan of Scarface You like to say "Orale" You like hearing Oldies [ditto if they make you cry] You shop at a swap meet instead of a Mall You eat at actual Mexican restaurants You always carry a neckerchief around Carne Asada is the bomb TOTAL: 0
12. Asian Your parents have forced you to learn a musical instrument before You name your goldfish Everyone assumes you're Chinese or Japanese You watch Anime and/or read Manga You always wanted to move to Tokyo and/or wanted to learn Japanese  You can use chopsticks Your parents expect straight A's TOTAL:  4
13. Hipster You really just don't give a f**k what people say You still write letters You like being ironic You listen to Frank Sinatra You like vintage You miss the good ol' days and can look past its flaws You really do spend lots of time dressing and claim to have just "thrown it on" TOTAL: 3
14. Afterburner [Me and my friend Alec have formed this subculture. Basically we're the opposite of hipsters in that we like it after it's cool. Things that are old but not old enough to be considered retro. Take a look.] You admire the technology of the 90s You still listen to the Jonas Brothers You still use a Walkman [portable CD player] You still use Windows XP  You still use a Gameboy Advance SP Disney 2-D Animated movies in the 2000s actually were memorable for you These facts shock you, especially when you add an extra 3 years. TOTAL: 1
15. Greaser You like Rockabilly and/or vocal music You snap your finger to upbeat songs You can be very charming at times You want to be like Elvis You like to comb your hair back You have a leather jacket You hate it when people touch your hair TOTAL: 2
16. Hippie You hate authority You are generally very gentle You're a vegetarian Lava lamps are cool You've smoked something once in your life You respect the classics You're sometimes too lazy to finish a sentence TOTAL: 3
You are: Metalhead & Asian
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ohgoditsamy · 5 years ago
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Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn
Favourites
What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !
People
Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair
Music
A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around
Places
A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital
Lists
A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks
Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran
I cant think of any more
Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).
Fuck my LIFE all of them
Places I would like to see.
Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains
Sounds I like.
Piano Birds Water
Sounds I dislike.
My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))
Sports I like.
Badminton Basketball
Star signs.
Gemini? Idk?? 
The first 5 things I saw on my way home.
I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk
The first 5 words that come to mind.
I don’t know what to write
The main roman gods.
Is this a test
The main Greek gods.
Zeus. The end.
Things I don’t own but like.
Self appreciation
Things I want to buy.
An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken
Top 10 episodes to watch
Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.
Top 10 favourite quotes.
“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”
“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”
I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them
Top 10 movies to watch.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars
Techically that’s more than 10
Top 10 people I want to meet.
I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?
Top 10 places in Manchester.
None I want to visit.
Top 10 restaurants I love.
Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin
What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?
The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though
What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?
Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc
What tv shows do I always recommend?
Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS
What were my favourite tv shows as a child?
Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh
What words don’t seem real to me?
Albertopolis, Bindlestiff
Wish list
That fucking iPhone 6S
Experiences/Memories
A memory in summer
Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics
A memory in winter
A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.
A memory with my family.
Going to France
A memory with my friends.
Wetherspoons Wednesday!!
I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.
Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.
Memories from high school
“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.
Special moments I want to witness.
One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged
The story behind my first kiss
The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good
The story behind my last kiss
It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night
The stories behind my scars
I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.
What are the memories I never want to forget?
Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.
What is my saddest memory?
I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.
What is the first thing I remember?
Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao
What is the funniest thing I remember?
Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.
What was my most embarrassing moment?
I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.
What was the happiest day of my life?
Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village
What was the last concert I went to?
Busted, last May
What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?
Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?
What was the most disappointing thing in my life?
I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 
What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?
Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.
What was the saddest day of my life?
Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.
When was I last scared for my life?
I don’t think I legitimately ever have been
Letters
A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.
Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao
Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK
Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK
Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK
Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT
Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man
Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me
Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY
Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job
Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 
Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?
Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells
Questions to answer
A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 
Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?
Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((
Am I a good liar? If I want to be
Am I a writer? Hell I wish
Am I an artist? I mean sort of
Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish
Am I happy with myself? Good joke 
Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes
Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no
Books I always reread. Uh..
Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does
Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely
Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years
Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea
Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT
Do I have trust issues? Yup..
Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted
Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.
Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there
Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool
Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not
Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?
Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol
Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time
Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time
Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.
Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.
Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me
Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be
Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.
Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless
How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work
How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.
How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.
How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person
How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.
How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.
How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.
How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.
What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back
What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind
What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves
What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck
What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.
What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness
What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF
What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality
What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 
What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes
What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones
What do I think about the most? Tea
What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.
What do I think people think of me? Annoying
What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog
What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?
What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea
What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.
What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?
What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.
What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people
What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace
What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.
What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck
What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)
What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.
What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.
What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 
What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea
What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something
What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace
What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying
What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.
What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.
What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?
What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness
What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.
What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15
What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.
What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success
What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?
What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.
What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?
What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?
What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends
What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now
What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know
What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing
What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED
What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck
What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.
What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists
What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)
What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.
What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy
What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.
What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like
When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.
When do I feel most at peace? In bed.
When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8
When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.
When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so
When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM
Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope
Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out
Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg
Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA
Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains
Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really
Who do I miss the most? No one?
Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN
Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.
Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.
Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.
Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no
Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused
Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not
Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?
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