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#hopefully not to ooc
notelectrictigerart · 3 months
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night shift hijinks
Gift exchange art of Rose and Kanaya for @whamss
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ssalballoon · 3 months
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i think they'd be very gentle with each other 🪻
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swingingthehatchetnow · 3 months
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r/AITA
u/WigglyWigg • 3y
AITA for nuking Moscow?
This past Friday, I (M, ̶̨̡̢̧̨̘̫̫̻͙̣͕̺̟̽̃̀͋́̚̚͜ ̷̡̭̜̩͕̠̦̗̟̟̫̖͇͎̽̌̾̿̌̈́̓̄̏̌̇̚͜͜ ) was at home when the President of the United States (M, >35) deployed a nuclear bomby-wom with the intent to destroy me. I redirected the nuke for my own self preservation, and in the process, pushed it through a dimensional gateway into Moscow, obliterating it in the process. AITA?
⬆️ 1.4k | ⬇️ | 💬384
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TheBastardsBack • 3y
NTA. Your house, your rules, man.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 1.1k ⬇️
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SingAlongPokotho • 3y
NTA. It was self defense. Also didn’t the President enter your home without a warrant? That’s mega sus. Def NTA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 974 ⬇️
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WileySnake • 3y
NTA. See folks, this is what America has come to. What the world has come to. Ain’t it a shame.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 950 ⬇️
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QueenB_itch • 3y
NTA. Good.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 925 ⬇️
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Blink1nceBlink2wice • 3y
NTA. u/SingAlongPokey literally sent a meteor to a small town. Can’t be worse than that lmao
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 899 ⬇️
| SingAlongPokotho • 3y
| Didnt you literally try to tear a family apart
| at your personal amusement park?
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Jaegerbomb • 3y
Ha ha ha NTA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 782 ⬇️
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Mouthface • 3y
NTA it was really funny.
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 670 ⬇️
| Mouthface • 3y
| Tasty too tbh. Yum yum.
 … ↩️ ⬆️ 130⬇️
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MoreBadder • 3y
r/MURICA
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 669 ⬇️
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Idontlikemusicals • 3y
NTA. Fuck Moscow. Fuck ‘em straight to hell
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 602 ⬇️
| Shitlips • 3y
| Hey, at least they aren’t Cl*vesdale.
| Assholes
… ↩️ ⬆️ 1.9k ⬇️
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SpotlightOnMe • 3y
Wtf I literally predicted this exact scenario 20 years ago????
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 592 ⬇️
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X_Lee • 3y
u/notaPEIP are you seeing this?
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 577 ⬇️
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WitchlessWeb • 3y
YTA! That kills people!!
… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ -1.5k ⬇️
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psymachine · 4 months
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hear me out: you, me, dennis, and god all know he looks good in lingerie, but maybe he's a little bit unsure what mac "the problem is you're into all that early 80s glam rock femme shit; definitely had masc4masc in his grindr profile" mcdonald will think of it
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[As I climb the multiple levels of stairs to the ranger tower, I take a moment to stop and reflect. I’m exhausted - after the hike to get here, the relief that I felt upon seeing the tower was tempered by the realization I had several flights of stairs ahead of me. I was in Washington State, flown here by my handlers to talk to seemingly the only Esoteric Ranger that would be available for the next month. Not for the first time, I wondered what it meant that they heavily suggested my interview subjects. The best person for the job, or the best PR face in the department?
I reach the top and stop again, and take a drink of water. A figure sitting inside the room at the top turns and sees me, and gets up to open the door. He is young, in his mid to late twenties, long brown hair done up in a bun, a large scraggly beard over the top of his ranger uniform. He has a look of amusement on his face, a sort of polite smile doing its best to cover up a smirk. His accent is thick, Appalachian, and his demeanor still manages to convey a sort of genial calm.]
S] Meghan, right?
M] Yeah. Hold on, let me…catch my breath.
S] Aint no worry. Take the time you need. I’ll just leave the door propped open. And if it helps, there’s iced tea in here waiting for you.
M] That does help. I’ll just….be a second.
[After a moment, I joined the man in the observation room. A cot, a shelf of supplies, a desk with a radio setup, a laptop on a table. A simple room for an apparently complex job. The tree-eye logo of the Rangers is plastered on many surfaces, well worn.]
M] Sheamus Doyle, right?
S] Yes ma’am.
M] I’m Meghan.
S] Pleasure to meet you. Lemme just….
[He takes a jug of iced tea from a minifridge and pours some into two mismatched cups, sitting at the small table and glancing at his laptop for a moment as I sit across from him.]
S] Pardon me, just watchin’ the ‘squatches.
M] Watching?
[He turns the screen around - a topographic map of the area is displayed, black with white lines, with about a dozen white dots congregating in two places.]
S] We’ve been watching the cryptid migrations. They been odd since….well, since. Ain’t been following their normal routes.
M] Is that what the Rangers do? I’m sure you know I’m here to ask questions, so….I guess that’ll be my first one.
S] A large part of it, yes ma’am. Cryptid watch.
M] I guess that’s the “catch and release” part of the poster I saw.
S] Mhmm. It’s hard work, y’know. Better here’n in the Everglades taggin’ skunk apes though.
M] Let me look at my notes…kind of scrambled after the hike here.
S] Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Everyone’s gotta do a stint in the firewatch, and we pull double duty takin’ notes on the ‘squatches while we’re here.
M] Tell me a little about the Esoteric Rangers.
S] We’re older than the Office is. Bet they ain’t told you that.
M] How so?
S] Office was founded in ‘27, right? E-Rangers were a secret division of the National Park Service, founded –
M] 1916, eleven years earlier.
S] That’s right. Even then they knew weird stuff happens in the forests, so they had a little bit earmarked for people to investigate or protect people from the weird stuff, and the weird stuff from people. When the Office came around later, we got folded into them instead. But by that time, y’know. Eleven years. That’s enough time for a place to develop a sort of….culture.
M] How do you mean?
S] We’re under the jurisdiction of the Office for the Preservation of Normalcy, ma’am, but between you an’ me, the Rangers have our own ways of doing things, our own rules. Was a requirement of the merger.
M] I see. So forested areas are your jurisdiction?
S] Anything that takes place on ‘r around a national park or a nature preserve usually has at least one of us onsite. We have our checklists, our methods for findin’ out what’s going on. Weird shit happens far from civilization.
M] Like what?
S] Reality sorta…gets weak, out here. I heard y’talked to Wren.
M] I did.
S] They’re always on about that noosphere stuff. Out here, with no people, noosphere kinda gets a little…wobbly. It’s like…if enough human minds are the bungee cords holdin’ down a tarp. It’s fine most of the time, but sometimes there’s a wind, you know? The noosphere don’t have the guidance to tell it what to do, so you get…
[He trailed off.]
M] What?
S] I seen weird shit, ma’am. Woodpeckers that move backwards, sealing up holes in trees. Hikers from twenty years ago, missing their faces. Places where the sun never shines, like that old song. Areas that looked like Lucifer’s vacation home, all burned and sulphur-smoke. Deer speakin’ in the voices of dead relatives, antlers shining blue. Gunshots where there shouldn’t be people. Realspace is weak out here. Veil gets thin when there ain’t no one to see it.
M] Is all that true?
S] As true as Mama’s promises.
M] Mmh. Tell me about the….cryptids. What is a cryptid? I know it’s like…unknown creatures, but for you they’re clearly….known, right?
[He sat back after a drink of his tea, giving a wince and a so-so gesture of his hand.]
S] That’s the mundane definition, yeah. The Office’s definition of a cryptid is….a creature whose existence ain’t really evolutionarily plausible, that would raise a lot a’ questions were it known. Jackalopes, you know, no other bunny has antlers, sort of thing. They probably didn’t evolve, per se, so…
M] What about the sasquatch? Wouldn’t it just be seen as a missing link?
[He nods, thinks for a second, looks at his computer, and then jerks his head to the door.]
S] Lemme show you something.
[On the platform outside, bolted onto the railing, is a telescope - or I assume it is. Attached to the long barrel of the device are a lot of wires, a plastic casing that looked like it housed a small electronic assembly, and a revolving series of lenses that look like they can be rotated into the eye ports like an optometrist’s testing machine. He looks into the scope, adjusting the lenses and a few knobs on the side of the device, and locks it into place.]
S] Here, take a look.
[I look into the scope - for a moment, I think there’s something wrong with it. I can see a clearing in the forest, and three….shapes. Smudges on the lenses? No, he’d have seen that. The shapes are blurry blobs from this distance, out of sync from their sharper surroundings. I’m about to take my eyes away from the scope and ask what I’m looking at when I feel him reach over and adjust the lenses again, rotating a new set into place. It’s accompanied by an electric click and a soft whine from the device, and now I can see them clearly. The three blobs were large, humanoid figures, covered head to toe in rusty brown fur. One stands guard in the clearing, while another sits on a stone, grooming the fur of a third, possibly a juvenile. They are...impossible. Majestic creatures, even from this distance.]
S] We call it an Obfuscation Field. They’re sort of always….blurry. In the 30’s we developed techniques to see through it, y’know, but it’s one of those things people can’t find out about.
M] Unbelievable.
S] Somethin’ wrong?
M] It’s just…this whole time, you know?
[He leaned on the railing, taking a vape pen out of his shirt pocket.]
S] Yeah, I heard they kind of threw you into all this. Sink ‘r swim. I wager most people get a slower introduction.
M] Did you?
[He took a hit of his vape pen.]
M] Should you be doing that on the job?
[He gave me an amused look, gesturing around to the forest. I could almost imagine a hypothetical camera comically zooming out to show the remoteness of the tower.]
S] Nah, I grew up in all this. My family’s been practicing “The Work”, so to speak, since they came here four or five generations ago. I never got the hang of witchcraft, myself. You get a dud every other generation, so they say. My sister’s a natural though, she’s interning with the Office in Archival.
M] Some people are sort of…born into knowing this stuff.
S] We call it being “in the community”. At a certain point it all blends together. Your family does folk magic at a certain level, you grow up with your best friend bein’ a lycan, that kinda thing.
M] I feel like I’ve missed out.
S] Ma’am, sometimes it’s more trouble’n it’s worth.
M] Yeah?
S] I love my friends, my family, but….you think I wouldn’t flick a switch, give all this up? Be Sheamus the hipster and not Sheamus the cryptid hunter? Be a hell of a lot more simple. Weird shit attracts more weird shit.
[He took another hit, exhaling a thick cloud. For a moment, shapes in the cloud coalesce - the prominent brow of an ape, a rabbit with antlers. I wonder if he was being modest about his lack of magic.]
M] I’m not really sure.
S] You’re letting it get to you, all of this. So quick, so extreme. I think you need an industrial grade chill pill, ma’am.
M] Maybe I do.
S] I got a guy coming in to bring me supplies tonight. Stay here, watch the sunset, you drive back with him.
M] Are you sure?
S] Hundred percent. Take the evenin’, ma’am. You need it.
(Buy the poster here!)
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birdricks · 4 months
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uncomfortably me
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bipbopdepmop · 8 months
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short boatem summer fic
based on this post -> (link) by @applestruda
Picture this: 
It is the hottest day of the year. The sun beats down relentlessly upon any poor sap that gets caught out in it. The heat can only be described as ‘being hit in the face with a sack full of bricks that have somehow been set on fire.'
We see the Boatem crew going about various activities as the very same sun spills into an overly warm room onto well-worn floorboards. The room is small and neat. There is a crooked green carpet on the floor and pictures on the wall of five laughing people. It is a room that has seen lots of love. 
A fan whirs steadily in the background. Impulse turns the page of his book, letting out a long sigh. Mumbo waters his plants, mumbling to himself and occasionally making a noise that is either pleased or disgruntled as he inspects his plants. So far, he has said “Ah!” in a pleased way fourteen times and “oh!” in a displeased way twelve times. Scar began counting an indeterminate amount of time ago out of sheer boredom. He’s been sitting in front of the fan for what feels like forever. It’s only been five minutes. Jellie meows. Impulse turns another page. Time drips by like honey. Every heat-filled second seems to take an hour to pass. 
Footsteps. Enter Grian, bright wings flashing at the edge of Scar’s vision. He would look over, call out a greeting but that would mean exposing his face to the heat. Grian is not worth braving the heat, he decides.
“I am never going to move again,” Grian complains. “I am just going to lay here and melt.”
“That seems like a good plan,” Impulse agrees with a small chuckle from the only shady corner in the room. A foot prods Scar’s side. 
Poke. “Scar, move over.” Another, more insistent poke. 
He turns his head, just a little. The right side of his face is now uncomfortably warm, exposed to the Void-forsaken heat. Grian really does look terrible, hair plastered to his forehead, face red and sunburnt and ear-feathers limp. 
“I was here first!” Scar says, a bit indignant. First dibs, right? “Go get your own fan. There’s one somewhere around here.” He ducks a little, but not enough to avoid the wing that whacks him in the head.
“Ow!” he says halfheartedly, turning his head to face Impulse. Ah, sweet, sweet relief for the right side of his face, not so much for his left. “Impulse, Grian hit me!” 
“Grian did nothing of the sort,” Grian interjects, tone bright and innocent-sounding. Another wing whacks Scar again. “Scar’s the one hogging the fan.”
With a long suffering sigh, Impulse looks up from his book. The glare that Scar receives is just short of withering. Got it. Don’t interrupt Impulse. Scar yelps as he is rudely pushed over onto the floor and into the sun. The floor burns to the touch. His poor, poor, super muscle-y arms. Betrayal! Blood! Trauma! Death! He will never forgive Grian for this. He will pay. 
A thump. Grian’s sigh of sheer relief is almost pathetic. Sure enough, Grian’s face is now inches from the fan, eyes closed in pure joy. Scar groans dramatically. 
“Grian, how could you? My very own brother-in-arms!” 
Grian scoffs. “Like you wouldn’t do the same.”
“Me?” Scar gasps. “I would never.”
“Oh you absolutely would,” Mumbo says with a snort. 
“Fine, fine! I see how it is around here. No love for good ol’ Scar! C’mon Jellie, we can go join the Big Eyes Crew. I bet they have a fan. I bet their fan is bigger than ours. After all, Bdubs’ smile is the biggest there is. He’s probably got the biggest fan too.” Impulse snorts and turns the page. Grian’s wings rustle. Mumbo makes his fifteenth “Ah!” His plants must be doing well.
Scar sighs, pulling himself into an upright position and drapes himself over Grian’s shoulders. “See, this way we can share the fan!” 
“Scar,” Grian whines, dragging his name out exasperatedly. “You’re too warm! Go away.” 
“Come on Grian, you can say it,” he teases, smiling. “I’m too hot. I’m too hot for you.”
Scar grunts as Grian elbows him in the side, throwing him off his shoulders. Huffing, he leans against Grian’s back instead. If he can’t get the fan, a nice backrest will do. Even if that backrest has really, really pokey bony wings that dig into his back. Maybe he’ll take a nap and when he wakes up, it’ll all be over. He closes his eyes.
After what barely seems like ten minutes, he hears Pearl say “What’s all this? You guys look absolutely pathetic.” Cracking his eyes open a little and turning his head to face her, he sees her in all her moth-y glory, standing over them. She has a shopping bag in one hand. Slowly, she reaches in and pulls out-
A freezer pop.
Scar might cry. He’s never seen such a beautiful sight. He might pick Pearl up and twirl her around in joy if it weren’t so dang-blasted hot.
---
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lifeonmvrs · 8 months
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quick thing i made while at a restaurant (i was waiting for my food). matt has no beard bc it looked weird.
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[Image Description: digital drawing of deadpool, daredevil, and spider-man. they are floating heads in a white background. their suits are pink. deadpool has an excited expression. matt looks a bit annoyed and is saying “three tickets to barbie, please”. spider-man has a neutral expression. /end ID]
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albedo-official · 3 months
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ANOTHER BLONDE GUY HELLO BLONGDE GUY
-@autistic-arataki-itto
Wh- oh! Hello. I'm blonde, yes. Did you need something or are you just here to chat? :]
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lika-chu · 8 months
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tea party doodle is here
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ranger-crow · 1 year
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‘Bout time I got around to posting this-
We got six healthy chicken nuggets! In order from oldest to youngest we have-
Jovi: Female, March 11th
Halen: Male, March 12th:
Chili: Male, March 13th
Pepper: Female, March 13th
Fleetwood: Male, March 14th
Roxie: Female, March 16th
I will definitely be breaking into the daycare over the next week to see who opens their eyes first! I’ll try to get some better pictures of them later ‘cause these guys have some very pretty colorations and spots starting to come in that isn’t done justice under the heat lamps. Fleetwood has a very heavy melanin pigment and pepper is a reddish purple that seems to grow deeper each day.
I’m holding Roxie- I ended up giving her shell a little crack since she was struggling to get a start and she’s very reactive to my voice. Despite her late start she’s easily the chunkiest of all her siblings and a lovely rosey purple color with some larger splots of white. Don’t tell anyone but I definitely have a favorite <3
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olasketches · 5 months
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been thinking about how curse family's backup plan, in case the sealing of gojo didn't work out, was to have sukuna kill gojo instead. so let's say nothing went according to plan and the sealing didn't work for some reason, so now they have to get sukuna to get rid off gojo for them.
Kenjaku: We have a situation.
Sukuna: Don't care.
Kenjaku: We need you to kill Gojo Satoru ^_^
Kenjaku: Now ^_^
Sukuna: No can do.
Kenjaku: ....
Kenjaku: I thought you wanted to kill him
Sukuna: I do.
Kenjaku: Then why not kill him now?
Sukuna: cause I don't wanna kill him NOW
Kenjaku: Why not? :/
Sukuna: Why d'you think!?
Kenjaku: sigh…
Kenjaku: Now Sukunaaaa don't be like that. we fed you those fingers, you should get most of your strength back by now and even your vessel-
Sukuna: My cage you mean?
Kenjaku: Aaahh..
Sukuna: of your.. creation?
Kenjaku, smiles proudly: Right… :)
Sukuna: ...
Kenjaku: ... :)
Kenjaku: Do you wanna know how I did that?? :D
Sukuna: No.
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imababblekat · 1 year
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Revali X Sheika Reader
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Anon Request; "Hello! May I request Revali w/ a Sheikah!Reader who is extremely kind but also a skilled fighter alongside Impa? Thank you, good luck for everything!"
~xXx~
The first time Revali met you, he didn’t think much. The Rito champion assumed you were an acting guard for Impa, to which he honestly didn’t understand the need for considering her own impressive skill as a fighter. While boastful and full of pride towards others, neither of you rarely conversed. He honestly thought you quite boring, as compared to his own very stoic rival, Link. It wasn’t till the Sheika’s visit to his homeland that he realized just how full of color you truly were.
It was another restless night for Revali, full of tossing and turning in anticipation to get his signature move down right. It secretly irked him how gifted the other Champions were, having been blessed with magical abilities that came as easy as taking a breath. He’d get his move down right, one day, but in the meantime sleep and rest were not helping him get there. The Rito had taken to the skies not moments after making the final descion to get up and work harder, soaring over to the flight range in the dead of night. The chilly air during such a time was nothing to him, so it came as quite the surprise when his sharp eyes picked up the flickering lights of a fire down below.
The closer he guided down to the small hut, the tunes of a soft flute flited to his ears. Whoever had been playing it was so focused on their craft that they had not heard him land and make way into the range’s hut. Once his eyes had adjusted to the light of the cooking pot, Revali immediately recognized who had beaten him to the range. Your back to him, you had not a single clue of your audience as you continued to play the melody of your village so far from the Rito’s. It was melodic and mystifying, a sound that very few outsiders ever got to experience. Yet, Revali was ever so lucky to hear it himself as it resounded off the ranges peaks and be played by non-other than you.
So lost in the beautiful tune you spun, Revali couldn’t help but think back to the past week of your tribes visit. It had taken some time for you to adjust, showing that all the quiet moments of your presence being that because you were actually quite shy, but once you had opened up, Revali somewhat regretted thinking you so dull. You were quite cheerful and oh so kind. The children of his village adored you; always asking you to help them with something or to play or even watch as they awkwardly flapped through the air. Anytime they struggled, you were always quick to encourage them on with unending support. It was something the Rito Champion soon realized he truly admired about you, and he wondered if it was because he had never had someone there to support him.
The sound of a clearing throat made him slightly jump, and he wondered when you had stopped playing or had even taken note of his presence. With a soft smile and confused brows upon your face, Revali was quick to gain composer as to not make him seem off guard.
“Couldn’t sleep?”, you questioned with a hint of concern.
Revali shook his head, stepping forward to stand by where you sat before the ranges cavern.
“Hmph, sleep. Sleeping is for those who ignore their potential and take the easy route about life.”, he huffed, wings crossed as he watched you stand and dust off your Rito winter garb. An outfit he had to fight himself from internally thinking about how nice you appeared in.
“Rest, dear Revali, is what you need.”, you peered out to the ranges peaks before turning to point back at the bow strapped to his back.
“I’ve seen you train, better yet, I’ve seen what you like after.”
Revali reveled in the admittance that you’d seen him in action.
“Oh? An admire?”, he teased with a raised brow and slightly puffed chest.
“No”, you rolled you’re eyes but kept your smile, “Someone who is concerned for the Rito who acts all high and mighty, but staggers away when no ones looking and tries to hide fallen injuries.
Said Rito winced a bit at your statement. He was so careful to make sure no one saw his mistakes or how much of a toll his over training was taking on him. Revali was a prideful sort, he kept himself to high standards and worked hard to be where he was today, unlike most of the others he was assigned to fight alongside of. Last thing he needed was to be seen as weak.
Before Revali could angrily retaliate, you quickly stepped forward and into his space. You face had been inches from his, and he quickly took a step back with a soft squawk, his cheek feathers fluffing up in a bit of embarrassment.
“I know! I’ll challenge you to rest!”
It took Revali a moment to comprehend what you had said, but once he had any bitterness from before had been quickly replaced with intrigue. If there was one thing Revali was known for it was his eagerness to prove himself in competition. With a smirk, he stepped forward in challenge, wings on his hips and startlingly green eyes catching your unwavering form.
“Heh, and what do tell, are you proposing?”
“A shooting challenge.”, you confidently winked, pulling out your own bow.
This caused Revali to let out a heavy laugh, one that only made you smile wider.
“Are you serious?! You do know who you’re talking to right?”, Revali confidently grinned, taking out his bow and holding it as though it were a magnificent treasure.
“What? Are you a kokoo?”, you jested, making bocking sounds to only further ruffle Revali’s feathers.
With a huff, Revali stepped toward the end of the flight range’s landing, you quickly following behind him.
“There.”, he pointed to some targets set in the far distance. “Whoever hits all of those wins. Think you can do that, Sheika guard?”
Narrowing your eyes, Revali knew he tugged a string with the title he’d thrown at you, but was left confused when your dour expression changed to one of mischief.
“I’ll do you one better. If I hit those targets blindfolded, you have to rest. For a week!”
Revali smirked with a raised beak. You really had no idea what you were getting yourself into huh?
“Fine, but if you miss a single target, you will craft my arrows for the same amount of time.”
It was known that Sheika were skilled in the ways of crafting weapons, and Revali reveled at the thought of showing up Link with some new, quicker arrows.
With a nod of agreement you quickly wrapped a piece of cloth around your eyes, taking stance along the edge and drawing your bow. Just behind you, Revali held an already triumphant smirk. He knew the range better than anyone, and knew just exactly how rough and unexpected it’s winding winds could be. How could someone who couldn’t even fly be expected to hit targets, blindfolded, in such unpredictable situations.
And yet, just as how you had taken him by surprise when you’d first arrived and shown your true personality, you had once again done so in the form of archery. With a deep breath and senses he couldn’t even begin to comprehend that you were capable of on high alert, you fired. Each arrow seemed to be carried by the sharp gust of wind, as though you some how knew what direction it would take. Revali watched in awe as the arrows twisted and turned in ways he didn’t think was even possible, the sound of them hitting their mark dead on resounding in his mind. Just as the tune you played on your wonderful flute had moments prior. Was your playing a tactic to learn the ranges winds?
Removing your blindfold and shaking your hair back into place, you didn’t even bother to look at the targets you hit, instead turning to the awestruck Rito Champion with a smirk of your own.
“See you back at the village. Oh, and one more thing,” you brushed teasingly against him as you made your leave.
“I’m not a guard. I’m a warriors aprentice.”
Watching your retreating form, Revali felt a warmth blooming within his chest and let out a small chuckle with a shake of his head and a genuine grin, your admirable skills with a bow playing back in his memory.
You weren’t boring in the slightest.
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deadangelos · 2 years
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”Mun where have you been?” Well. You see. I can explain-
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technowoah · 2 years
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DATING HEADCANONS (Forever and Always For You)
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Jason Todd Version
An// I tried 😪 hopefully this is good cause I wanna do my boy justice. This is from my personal headcanons and also based on what Ive read of him. Also for a warning there is sexual innuendo and sexual stuff mentioned so do what you want with that...
Beginning of your relationship
Just to start please give this man all of your love. We all know hes pretty insecure, so he needs that validation from you. During the relationship he will get more comfortable with himself and actually accept the compliments you throw at him instead of dismissing them. Instead of saying "no" and "no im not" he'll say "okay sure" and "If you say so" trying to hide the smile on his face
In the beginning he was snarky and somewhat cocky. He still is now. But he was trying to impress you. He really wanted to leave an impression and he of course succeeded.
Dates will start off at the most random times. He had Red Hood duties of course. But the dates would consist of late night motorcycle drives. Going to get takeout and eat it on a rooftop. He told you he found the rooftop place by accident. He totally wasnt there a couple minutes ago
"Really, have you thought of dating someone for real?" You asked him this question as you two sat on his bike eating McDonald's.
"Not really. I dont necessarily do "dates" he stuffed fries into his mouth not caring about modesty at this point.
"What? You just fuck and go?" You asked stifling a laugh.
He laughed at your comment, "Basically. This is new to me. One of my firsts in a while."
"Well I hope to be your first and your last."
Okay heres actual relationship headcanons below
He will be your weighted blanket whenever you need him. He loves skinship. He has his hands on you most of the time. On you thigh, lightly grazing your knee, elbow, his arm around your neck, hugging you from behind, hugging you regularly. He loves sneaking in small touches throughout the day. Also you both lay naked besides eachother in bed just because its comfortable and you both love the skin to skin contact.
He gives the most passionate kisses that knock the air out of your lungs. He loves kissing you, its his favorite passtime when you two are home and have nothing else better to do.
Okay but- Jason never really let anyone else kiss anything but his lips, but with you he'll let you do anything to him. Kiss his neck, his chest, his scars, his hands, anywhere and he'll melt instantly, putty in your hands.
You both are equal to eachother. He never tries to dominate you in anyhting other then the bedroom. He never sees you as inferior or that he has to protect you 24/7. He invested in self defense training for you, than relized that the trainer was doing a bad job then insisted on training you himself. Of course he wants you safe, but he trusts you to keep out of harms way. But if the bad guys come to you, Gotham is going to burn.
The time Jason shared about being red hood he thought you were gonna break up with him. But you supported him and surprisingly to him you were okay with him leaving at random times. He will make up for it if he had to leave during a dinner or a special moment, but he'll leave with nothing more with a small kiss and a hope that you'll forgive him later.
Jason likes to spoil you rotton. Either with acts of love or with Bruce's credit card. He drove you to a mall and just gave you his black card
"Jay what are we doing here?"
"Buy yourself anything you want doll, this whole place can be yours if you want."
"This card says Bruce Wayne."
"It does? I must've grabbed the wrong card...Oh well, I guess its fate. Let's go!"
He can be an annoying little shit sometimes though. Refusing to do stuff around the apartment just because he doesn't want to. He'll sit next to you and just stare at you for no reason. Play with your legs by flopping them around, and that somehow starts a wrestling match that you will lose and that turns into him fucking you so teasingly slow.
You belive Jason has multiple personalities. He can be the biggest softy ever. Then the next minute he can the cockiest shit ever. And theres no in-between.
You both love play fighting, it comes naturally to you both. The fights never escalate into anything bad or serious, but they do lead to some good "make up" sex.
You guys dont fight that often, just some arguments here and there like a normal couple, but never anything that would threaten your relationship. Maybe some things are said in the heat of the moment but its always forgiven unless its something about his past.
Still on the topic of fights: Once in a while you both get into a huge fight/screaming match that'll leave one of you leaving the apartment for a certain amount of time. Of course it hurts the both of you, you guys cant spend a long time away from eachother (he'll go away for like a couple of hours now, it used to be days) but sometimes its good to take a break. And of course the make up sex is great but like- You guys know eachother well enough to know whether to cuddle eachother or let eachother have space. No matter what you both will come back to eachother.
You both are huge on communication. At first Jason didn't talk to you about anything, but now after an argument/fight let him go to blow off some steam for some hours and he'll come back to talk your ears off and find a resolution to the problem, or both of you apologize for what was said. There are no unresolved issues in your household. Even if it takes a while you two will always find a way to fix something. Also jason just likes talking to you.
You guys cant get rid of eachother even if you both tried. He thanks his lucky stars each night for you and that you're still here. This man is truly in love with you.
Jason loves cooking for you. Just the sight of you watching him cook as you talk about your day makes his heart flutter. He could open up a restaurant if he wanted to. He learned from Alfred and just purely out of interest so once he learns a new recipe he wants to cook for you, which leads to you both talking about your days while sipping on wine. He loves the small things. Like reading books to you while you comment about what happened. Riding into the night on his motorcycle. Watching you do your morning routine from the comfort of your bed all while he has this love sick look in his eyes.
Speaking of cooking you take turns sharing recipes and cooking for eachother. More often than not you end up cooking for Jason because he dosent know the meaning of self care. You try to get him to take days off, in the beginning he wouldn't give in, but now he will willingly take a break if that means you'll be there.
The highlight of Jason's life was when your neighbor greeted him without Jason having to introduce himself.
"G'morning y/n! Morning Jason!"
"Morning Mrs. Thomas!"
"Morning." Jason had this smirk on his face as he greeted the older lady.
"Hope you both have a beautiful day!"
"You too!" You had to look at him. "Whats with the smug face?"
"I never introduced myself to her. I guess Im doing my job right."
Jason is fucking smooth. He loves to get a reaction out of you by seducing and making you blush (or challenging him and flirting with him back) or saying the cheesist pick up lines ever and making you laugh. It's apart of his job, so of course he is so good at making women fall for him and you fall for it every time and he loves it.
"Aside from being sexy what do you do for a living?"
"Jay."
"Are you a pokemon? Cause I'll like to pik-at-chu.. naked"
"Jason shut the fuck up." You tried to not laugh.
"I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art."
"Stop it-"
"You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.​"
"Okay jason!" You were shying away from his conatant pursuit.
"Wanna fuck?"
"Is that the best you got?"
"No I have more, I just wanted to cut to the chase."
He truly loves confidence. He thinks confidence is sexy. Either confidence in yourself or youre confident in something that you do he is drawn to that it attracts him. And he hopes that when he exudes confidence it draws others in as well. Confidence is key.
But if you aren't confident in yourself he will make sure that you will be soon. He has the upmost confidence in you and believes in you probably more than anyone else. He worships the ground you walk on in his own way. He isnt "Dick Grayson dramatic" but just notice the small ways he appreciates you. Cooking your favorite meal, stocking the pantry up with snacks, getting groceries at 4 am just so you wont have to go in the morning, even taking time off his Red Hood duties to stay in with you. He flatters you so much as well. This man.. he'll give compliments out like nothing, but he cant take compliments well.
Jason slowly opened up to you about his past one night. He told you about his parents, about his death, spilled everything about his current family's identities. It took him a whole night to do so and you listened. He just needed you to listen, but he also encouraged your reactions as well because your reactions are valid to him. He still left some stuff out that night, but one day he'll tell you all of it when he's ready.
Like I said, Jay loves to talk with you. Either in person, on the phone, texting, somehow he needs to know you are there. I feel like Jason hasn't been in a long term relationship, so he wants to spend as much time as possible with you/hearing you. He could die at any moment being Red Hood its a very dangerous job and you know that, every time he goes out he knows that as well and he dosent want the recent kiss to be the last. He texts or calls you sometimes during patrol. So he wants to make sure you are there for him and just there and alive period.
Jay doesn't forgive himself easily, he can be grim sometimes, and he'll sometimes share those grim thoughts to you at night when everything is dark and you cant see his eyes watering. He feels comfortable and vulnerable at night beside you in bed where he can tell you whats been on his mind. No matter how bad it may seem to you, you will always stay and support and help as much as you can.
Jason dosent believe in fate, but he knows that you two were always meant to be together. From the day he was put on this Earth and the day he was brung back onto this Earth he now knows this was the universe's doings. The universe knew Jason needed someone like you in his life and he is never letting you go any time soon.
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fureiya · 1 year
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