#honestly i don’t even know if i’ll follow thru with writing the fic as much as i’d like to so…spoilers question mark? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ramzawrites · 3 years

Note

Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)

(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3

We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.

Words count: 2060

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!

Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.

adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7

On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you

Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.

Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.

So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.

Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.

After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.

Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”

And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.

Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.

Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.

Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.

Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.

Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.

A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.

It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.

“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.

The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.

Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.

“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.

Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.

This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.

Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.

Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.

Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.

This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”

Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”

Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“

But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”

Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“

The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.

It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.

Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”

Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.

“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.

He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.

Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.

“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.

Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”

Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”

This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”

He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.

“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.

Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”

The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.

It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.

“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.

“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.

It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”

Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”

Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.

“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”

Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”

He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.

Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.

“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.

Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.

“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.

As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Don’t try just do it.”

#mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt reader insert #mcyt x Y/N #dream smp reader insert #dream smp x Y/N #dsmp reader insert #sbi x reader #sbi reader insert #dsmp x Y/N #ramza writes #Anonymous #anon request

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iam93percentstardust · 4 years

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hey! i hope you’re having an amazing day. this is just me popping in your inbox to say that’s youre one of my favourite writers and you got me really interested in winteriron (honestly one of the cutest ships) are there any fics/authors ii could reccomend?

Hi there! Thank you so much! I love this ship so much, they’ve got such potential for both fluff and angst. They really are one of my favorite ships to write and I’m glad I was able to write so much for them this year. I certainly do have plenty of recs for you, starting with my favorite authors:

@riotwritesthings: started writing last year, I highly recommend just about everything Riot writes but especially Road Hazards, Melt into Me (Your Words are My Own), and When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it)

@hddnone: so many stories and all so good! Has nearly 100 Winteriron works on ao3 and you will not regret reading any of them, though fair warning that some of them are Team Cap Critical. Especially recommend Honey Pot, You’ve Got Mail, and A Bit(e) of Danger

@monobuu: mostly an artist but sometimes writes stories as well. i recommend Ravioli, Invincible Summer, and Meet the Fam

@tisfan and @27dragons: can’t make a Winteriron rec list without including the both of them. They work together a lot but you should definitely take a look at their own stuff as well. I recommend Safe and (the) Sound, Kiss Me Thru the Phone, and Stark, Naked

@ad1thi: currently taking a bit of a hiatus and working on non-Marvel works but I love everything Adi writes, particularly her entire Bollywood but Make it Gay series, which isn’t always Winteriron but wonderful nonetheless. I recommend the Greek Gods AU, 1000 Lives (For You), and we’re connected

@the-winter-writer: lots of smut and all absolutely fantastic! I like Precious Treasure, Winter Wings, and Instinct

@rayshippouuchiha: definitely an iconic writer for this fandom. Really great if you’re looking for genderbends. Writes a lot of absolutely incredible fics and not just for Winteriron but my personal favorites are The (Not So) Great Pretender, Fearful Symmetry, and The Mistletoe Kiss Polka

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar): once again very iconic. you’ve probably read at least one of their works even if didn’t know. I recommend Shameless, Today’s Forecast, and Practice Makes Perfect

@lovelyirony: mostly writes ficlets here on tumblr and a multishipper (I don’t know why I’m saying that like it’s a bad thing, I’m a multishipper), also a fan of Sharon Carter and that’s the thing that made me follow her so you know

@amethystinawrites: I only recently started working their works but I’m loving everything I’ve come across so far. I recommend Tech Support and I Won’t Hold My Breath

AvocadoLove: also writes a lot of Stony and Stuckony, which I love a lot, but for their Winteriron works, I recommend Amalgam and Dead Man’s Switch

Dracusfyre: another one I’m new to. I literally just started reading their works today so I don’t have any recs for them yet but one of my friends loves them so I’m going to go with you should definitely take a look at their works

Eirlyssa: has some anti-Team Cap works so keep an eye out for that if that’s not your thing but writes very good Winteriron. I recommend Guide Me Home (Guide My Heart) and Always (I’ll Be There)

@imposter-human: one of the first MCU blogs I ever followed! I recommend childhood memories, speak my language, and lost in translation

As for specific works I like:

Four Strings and Second Chances by Vashoth

It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence--literally grasping an olive branch--was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything. ‘Barnes,

Can help with installation. Or not. Up to you. --Stark'

Who is the Mechanic? by @akira-of-the-twilight

The Asset watched as his handlers brought in a stranger—a man with a metal object stuck to his chest that was hooked to a car battery.

The handlers shoved the man onto the stool where many who had operated on the Asset’s arm in the past had sat before.

“Asset,” one handler said, “meet the Mechanic. He will be responsible for the upkeep of your arm. Should anything malfunction, kill him.”

The Asset eyed the Mechanic. The Mechanic was glassy-eyed and unresponsive.

He’d probably be dead in a week.

The Fix by SleepsWithCoyotes

Right, because Tony...Tony fixes things. He remembers thinking that, not for the first time.

Paths are Made by Walking by @potrix-the-queerschlaeger

The road to recovery is long, winding and a different one for every person walking it. Bucky chooses to help himself the only way he knows how; by doing what he does best.

Or, alternatively; the one in which Tony is a mess and accidentally kick-starts Bucky’s protective mother hen instincts.

The Evidence by StrivingArtist

Didn’t notice. Right. Sure. Two brilliant minds, two super spies, and a god didn’t notice when the chattiest man they knew stopped making sound. They just seemed happier than before. Brighter and more cheerful than before. They just seemed like they were more comfortable with him around when he was stone silent.

Fuck it.

He knew they noticed.

And he knew they liked him better this way.

Shadowed Hearts and Winter Souls by NotEvenCloseToStraight

The mid-1800s and Antonio Carbonell Stark is caught in a scandal with his lover. Desperate for a chance to escape the trouble and his own broken heart, Tony accepts a proposal from a mysterious Russian heiress and flees the country.

Natalia Romanova is in trouble of her own and has enough secrets to make Tony's head spin but somehow they settle into a fake marriage and calm day-to-day together, and everything works... until her half brother comes home and their life is disrupted again.

James is somber and silent, brutal and nearly broken and scarred, a soldier of the resistance. His heart is cold and gaze like ice, but his hands are hot and lips are warm and Tony finds himself ignoring the blood on James's palms and the shadows in his soldier’s eyes, and falling in love.

When danger lands at their doorstep, Natalia and Tony have to pack up and leave, running away in the middle of the night and leaving their men behind.

The distance between Tony and James gets longer every day, and Natalia has been keeping a secret for that can’t be hidden much longer. With no place to call home and a thousand miles between them and the men they love, what are Tony and Natalia supposed to do?

Puppy Love by Reioka

Bucky is learning to become a person again. When some guy starts crying all over Natasha's dog, he decides he's doing better than he originally thought.

Describe Your Perfect Date by ali_aliska

After getting turned down by Bucky, Tony decides it’s time to move on from his massive crush. He tries online dating—Pepper’s idea, not his—but the only thing worse than getting rejected is getting rejected and finding out your soulmate-level match is Clint Barton, all in the same day.

Clint, of course, does not let opportunities like this go to waste, but he’s driving Tony nuts for a good cause, he swears.

Bucky’s just trying to do the right thing and fails spectacularly, but it all works out in the end.

Rocket Science by marsmaywonder and orbingarrow

Sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, grad student Tony falls asleep in a conveniently empty classroom and wakes up in the middle of Bruce’s Physics 101 course. After seeing a groggy Tony fumble a simple question, actual-student Bucky offers to tutor him. In a moment of “oh no; he’s cute” panic, Tony takes him up on it. Now, in addition to his already complicated life, Tony has to figure out the answer to the incredibly messy question: “How do you look like you’re failing the class, when you literally wrote the book?”

What’s Good for the Goose by Taste_is_Sweet

For this nonny prompt at the Imagine Tony and Bucky comm on Tumblr:

"A soulmate AU where an immortal goose shows up one day to lead you to your soulmate, the challenge is surviving the goose." (Full prompt in notes.)

We all have soulmates, and every soulmate pair shares an animal guide. The Guide is there to lead you to your One True Love, and they represent the aspects of the psyche that you both share. They appear when you're about to meet your soulmate, and often materialize in moments of great personal crisis, offering hope and support. There are stories upon stories about how someone's Guide appeared to lead them to their One True, or how the barest glimpse of their Guide eased their hearts and gave them hope in the midst of despair. The newly-rescued almost always attribute their Guide with giving them the strength and courage to hang on.

Animal Guides are ephemeral, ethereal, and elusive. They are, most often, no more than a warm presence or flicker out of the corner of one's eye. They are incarnate symbols of perseverance, optimism and hope. Foretellers of happiness, and the grand destiny of love.

Except for geese. Geese are assholes.

and so, we unfold by TheKitteh

Senbazuru. Thousand Cranes.

An ancient Japanese legend that promises anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by the gods. Some stories believe you are granted happiness and eternal good luck, instead of just one wish, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury.

Bucky’s not big on believing in any legends, not after all that has happened. He just wants to create something for a change, not destroy.

He needs to prove himself that he can be trusted to handle something delicate. He doesn’t need a promise of a wish come true. He just,- needs to do this for himself.

He doesn’t need noticing how sad, tired Stark looks. Doesn’t need to want to do something for the man, when he can barely do anything for himself. --- Tony simply goes through days and motions. He deals with the Avengers, with R&;D, with the rewritten Accords. All of it, it’s nothing new really. He just wants to get things done.

What’s new is seeing Barnes hunched over the coffee table, one step away from ripping a glossy magazine apart in the middle of the night.

And why the hell Barnes keeps looking at him during the days after like he’s a puzzle to be solved?

Welcome to the Winteriron fandom! We’ve got a lot of incredible authors and artists both and this is just the tip of the iceberg!

#alle answers #winteriron #fic recs #have a great day as well!#hold-our-destiny

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andypantsx3 · 3 years

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hi there !! i hope you're doing well :) ever since i started reading ur fics i've just been really impressed with how u keep the quality of ur content very consistent. do u take breaks in between writing each fic? i think u mentioned this in a previous post when u talked about editing fics, but i guess i'm wondering how u keep urself from being burnt out/if u get burnt out! i'm going thru a slump rn so i'd be curious to hear about ur experience!

Omg thank you so much!! That is literally so sweet of you to say, much as I doubt the quality is all actually consistent—I'm looking at you, in cinders chapter two.🖕🖕🖕

Also please excuse how long this got, I have a lot of thoughts on this subject in particular!!

Personally yes, I do get burnt out, and I do find it very necessary to take breaks—from writing overall and from a fic if I'm having difficulties with it. In general, I try to write a little bit every day, but that’s not always possible, and there are times when that’s not the right thing to be doing.

If you were following me late last year, you may vaguely be aware that I disappeared for two months straight between December and February. Like, just let the queue run through and did not answer a single ask, post a single original thought, or even look at my ao3 comments. While I was gone I barely wrote a thing. I think at like 1.5 months into it, I started drafting the outline for subtle, but before that, I didn't do shit except focus on my personal life and hang out with my dog.

At that point I was just tired and I thought I could use a little recharging to get excited about writing again. I read a bunch of books and other people's fics, and reread a bunch of my old fave comfort ship fics. That break from my own work really helped me get inspired again. Since then I've been consciously trying to strike a balance between writing all the time and chilling/consuming the things that keep me inspired to write.

When it comes to taking a break from fics, I do that too. My Hawks fic lay low has been ongoing since December of last year, when I normally finish fics in under a month. I actually really love this fic, but I got a little frustrated with some plot holes and then again with the pressure I was putting on myself to characterize him (like, relax, Andie it's a fuckin fanfic) so that's been on hiatus like multiple times even though we're only three chapters in.

I think it was important, though, for me personally to take a step back from it until I had the energy to address the things that I wanted to, and until I was excited to write it again. I'm actually finally working on chapter 4 (!!!), but it really took a long time to let that bad boy marinate, and I hope the fic will be better for it.

And I did that with statistically significant as well. This was more due to my workload at my job at the time, and I worked on this one over the course of five months when prior to that, I had been finishing fics in 1-2 weeks. But slowing down and writing this fic over like ten times the amount of time it took me to write other fics was a really good learning experience for me. It taught me that it's totally fine to step away from a fic for multiple months, and that you can always come back and finish it later.

I think that's also going to be the case with the new Deku fic, and I'm happy I already know it's completely okay to take my time. I'm sure there will be new wrenches that life throws into my path, and I'll have to get hit by those and figure out how to get back up and learn to duck next time lol.

Anyway, I definitely get where you are coming from, and if I've learned anything in the year and a half I have been writing it’s that it's totally normal to hit slumps, be they long or short, fic-specific or related to writing overall. Burn-out/slumps are actually not a big deal at all if you don't psych yourself out about them.

I feel like every time I'm asked advice on anything I say this (but I mean it!!): listen to yourself. You know best what you need. If you don't feel like you have the brain power for writing right now?? You're definitely right, and you should take some time away to chill, just consume things without producing, or do other stuff in life that makes you feel good.

If you're two months into not writing and you get excited about a project outside of the one you abandoned?? There's probably a reason. Work on that instead, and maybe let your enthusiasm for that project remind you of what you liked about the other one you put down.

And if that enthusiasm doesn't return? Then let the damn thing sit until it does. There are literally writers I follow who stepped away from fics for YEARS, only to come back and post a new chapter like half a decade later. They are always, always better for it.

So literally just listen to what you are telling yourself, and ride out the slump however you need to. Please try your best not to feel guilty for it, or think that it is any reflection on you or your work. They're just a natural part of the process, and honestly you will be the better for having had this experience.

#ask andie

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ao3gingerswag · 3 years

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Characters! Sam and/or Mary and/or Claire

So I’m not gonna do Mary cause um confession time I have only seen SPN fully thru season 8 and like. Parts of the later seasons, with less and less as time went on….The writing just started to get too all over the place for me. So I know nothing about Mary really.

Sam:

How I feel about this character

Love Sam. Love him love him love him. He doesn’t get enough attention in this fandom he’s so angry and feral in early seasons and I LOVE him for that. I think the writers kinda….lost sight of what they were doing with him post season 5, and especially post season 8, and I think it’s connected to how they framed John and the narrative. Like a lot of Sam’s character in the early seasons is framed around this conflict he has with Dean about whether or not John is a piece of shit and whether they should just follow him blindly. And his complicated hero worship vs pity vs resentment relationship with Dean was a big part of his personality. And then post season 5 they kind of backed off that entire conflict? And so much of Sam’s personality was forgotten. But I still love him tho, he’s so valid, I love his anger in the early seasons at John and in defense of Dean and I think he’s the only reason Dean didn’t end up completely beaten down by his dad.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Eileen/Sam!!!! Eileen is the only one I reeeaaally ship with Sam. A lot of fics (esp before Eileen was introduced) had him with Jess (including mine), and that’s fine, but tbh we never actually got to know Jess soooo don’t have strong feelings. Then with Ruby, she was SUCH a fun character but like, ya know, evil. Like I do actually think she cared about Sam in her own fucked up way but like. They brought out the worst in each other lol. So I’ll pass.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Uhhh Dean obviously lol!!!! In my perfect SPN ending Dean Cas Sam Eileen Jack Claire and maybe their other friends too live together in the bunker forever. Found family baby!!! My asexual ass loves how much Dean and Sam mean to each other and how they seem to take for granted that they will always live together. If only the real world was more like that ;~; But yeah it’s kinda a pet peeve of mine when in Desitiel fics people either just ignore Sam or just kinda have him around but he’s not like. Really around. Like excuse me??? Sam and Dean are Bros 4 Life!!!!

My unpopular opinion about this character

Sam is more interesting than Dean. Like I love Dean and he’s my favorite but Sam is like soooo complicated and so interesting!!! Like this kid who grew up knowing that something was Wrong with him. His hunter upbringing vs society, his desire for normal vs the rest of his family, and then just the Knowledge deep down that something is really Wrong aka the demon blood. And then he has all this anger with nowhere to go, he can see clearer than Dean how fucked up their lives are and how awful John is but he can’t convince Dean bc Dean’s too brainwashed and ack!!! I feel like he has always felt so guilty for going to Stanford and felt so guilty then too bc he knew he was basically abandoning Dean to John, who would just continue to abuse and beat him down. But he Could Not convince Dean to wake up and smell the abuse so he left without him bc what else was he supposed to do??? But he’s still fucked up about it. He’s so interesting. All twisted up inside ;~; I love him!

On a less serious note, another unpopular opinion I guess is that Sam and Cas would def be friends but bc of the boring aspects of their personalities?? Like I’ve seen a lot of stuff about them being besties bc they both r crazy and they ARE but like. I see them bonding over ecological justice and academic articles about ancient Aramaic etymology lol. Like they’d go to the farmers market together!!! They would very earnestly consider together which plants would be best to plant in their garden to help the local bee population!!!! And like Dean is a dork and loves both of them but like. If the three of them got drunk together Sam and Cas would get caught up in a very passionate debate about the benefits/drawbacks of different kinds of green energy and Dean would fall asleep.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

He should have gotten to run John over with his car. Ok but no forreal, I wish he’d had his anger at John validated. This is connected to how I feel about Dean but I wish Dean had explicitly grown past his hero worship of John and understood that he was abusive, and I wish he’d apologized to Sam for defending John throughout their childhoods. That would have been so great for both of them ;~;

Claire:

How I feel about this character

Ohhhh my god ummmm. U know how I said I didn’t watch past season 8 and only saw parts of the later seasons? Yeah um the vast majority of those parts are scenes with Claire in them. Her character has been the thing that came closest to getting me to watch the later seasons. She is So Fucking Cool. Honestly even besides her character, as like a rule I just LOVE it when SPN forces the characters to Actually Confront The Results Of Their Actions for real. Like morally I guess but also just practically like one of my fave episodes is where they get trapped at the bank by the FBI in like season 3 bc like!!!!! Consequences!!! To murdering all over the country!!!! So back to Claire I already just love the idea of having the characters have to Deal With this girl who’s life they fucked up and then forgot about. But then she is SOOO COOOL gay and dramatic and angsty ugh I love how she’s like actually a teen, she acts like a teen, like she rolls her eyes and is overdramatic and shit. Fucking awesome u funky little lesbian.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Kaia/Claire. I don’t know a lot about Kaia but she’s very pretty and seems very sweet. I saw the scene where the two of them compare scars and it was so cute. In other news I have no idea if they’re canon or not I can’t tell lol.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I didn’t watch the later seasons but I love the Claire and Jack content being produced now!! But I also love her relationship with Dean Sam and Cas. They’re very cute with her! :) Love how she seems to reluctantly grow fond of them over time. <3

My unpopular opinion about this character

Unpopular opinion ummm…maybe this is more about Dean but I don’t think Dean would be like happy to help her be a hunter?? Like he hates kid hunters he says that a bunch of times. I think she was on her murder hunting thing when she was filled with rage but I think she could be nudged away from hunting once she stops hating Cas, and I think all the adults but esp Dean would be very pro convincing-Claire-not-to-be-a-hunter.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Ok this prompted me to google if Claire and Kaia were together and I’m still confused. Seems like if they were it wasn’t made that explicit?? So I wish she got to kiss Kaia on screen!!

#asks #character asks #claire novak #sam winchester #this was fun!! sorry for writing an essay tho #i didnt do mary bc i dont know her sorry!

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lunar-lair · 4 years

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Uh,,ok so like,,,,,,,I had this? Idea? And I just wanted to know what people thought of it before I actually wrote it, so uh. Yeah

(Sidenote, this is basically an outline/bulletfic? Like it's Mostly fleshed out in terms of concept but that doesn't mean it's a full Fic yknow? I plan on...hopefully, eventually...writing this Fully. I just wanted to get input on just how off base my characterization is and shit...hehe. Also my excuse for any weird writing is that I wrote this in the bath and I was trying to go Fast so my water wouldn't get cold. Anyways notes over bye)

Named 'Cleaved Apart, Cleaved Together': abt The Split and how the two were separated (physically AND emotionally) and then how they bond again after Remus is accepted and the boys like,,,,,,accept each other as Bros again

At first I was thinking No Fusion but also like,,,I really like the idea of them fusing again on accident when they're really super happy or in sync

So after a Lot of bonding-chilling in the Imagination, just fucking around with each other, and even talking thru shit together-they finally manage it.

They were just in the common room with all the other sides, maybe setting up for a movie night or something?

They came rushing down the stairs, talking frantically together about a new idea they had while pushing each other lightly with every silly tease and making jokes about old shenanigans that only they could really understand

(Patton and Janus could remember days before The Split, when the two were one.

Janus could still remember them shouting not to be seperated.

Patton still hated the fact that it was basically his decision to keep them apart.

Thank the Lord they were close again.)

The two finally stepped into their usual spot in front of the tv, chatting with each other and the others

Eventually, they ended up talking about some stuff they'd made together. Some plans they'd been making together. They finally told a joke at the same time that got them falling over each other laughing,

And then it happened.

There was a flash of light and then-and then-

It wasn't King. It wasn't Creativity, the original.

But it was them.

Patton and Janus only sat there, teary eyed with dropped jaws, and Virgil and Logan began questioning what the FUCK was up, how are two sides fusing-?

And Roman and Remus sat there, tearing up before laughing a moment.

"Roman."

"Remus."

Two almost-different voices right after one another, happier than any of them had ever heard them.

"We need to talk about this separately though, hm?" Roman, with a laugh.

"Yeah."

Another flash and he was gone, replaced by the brothers again who shook their heads, in a bit of disarray.

"Was that ok?" They asked at the same time, staring at each other.

"We don't have to be him anymore...I mean, we're our own people now Remus."

"Yeah, but that was FUN!" Remus replied, throwing his arms around Roman.

Roman laughed. "Then maybe every now and then?"

And Remus just laughed back. "Why the Hell not!"

They finally turned at the sound of a sniffle.

Janus was crying, and Patton wasn't really much better. Logan and Virgil seemed bewildered, though Logan a little less so.

"Janus? Patton? I understand you remember original Creativity more vividly than we do, but I do not understand what elicited sadness. Are you alright?"

Janus gave a watery laugh, wiping away some tears. "God, I couldn't be better."

Remus and Roman stopped, their smiles finally dropping. Roman reached forward, arm just a few inches in front of Janus. "Did we...do something wrong?"

Janus smiled again and shook his head, tugging on Roman's arm. "Come here you dork."

Patton pulled Remus in along with them and they all ended up in a little cuddle pile, Logan and Virgil joining in too, on the outside, bc Bitch, We're Worried Too.

Remus looked up at them, just Confused. "Then what's up??"

Janus and Patton's smiles dimmed a bit, and Janus began with a sad smile; "It's...simply a long story."

"That long story short, though, uh…" Patton continued, rubbing a hand on his neck nervously. "Wellll...the Split was really scary…"

Janus chuckled. "Exactly. Imagine the friend you've known since you were born splitting into two all of a sudden with ear-ringing screams to match."

"And then, after that…"

"You...decided to split those sides of him...just because one wasn't as perfect as the other."

Patton looked down and held Remus a little tighter. "...that was...mostly my decision."

Janus gave him a Look that simply meant 'we've talked abt that Way too much dude' and moved on. "But either way...it was...well…"

"Neither of you remember it, but...you...didn't want to be split."

Janus smiled again, sweet as honey. "And even after all we did...you two still managed to stick together."

"And even if the person you make now wasn't who he used to be-and it shouldn't be, really-it was like…"

"...seeing two...old friends you used to know meeting again."

"Or seeing two pieces of a whole come together again to make something even more than what they started with."

Janus teared up a little again, gripping them a little tighter. "It's so great to see you two whole again."

Remus and Roman had memory upon memory of feeling...empty. Like there was a piece missing of them. Like nothing they made was quite right. And since they had started to bridge their gap, they'd finally felt that emptiness filling up.

Janus and Patton could remember so, so many times where the two of them had missed their brother, where they told them something wasn't right-especially in the beginning.

Even Logan had memories of trying to figure it out with Roman.

Virgil remembered plenty of days where Remus just seemed off, but couldn't explain what was wrong, and...no matter how little Virgil understood, he would sit with him and try to ward it off anyways.

Remus and Roman laughed, eyes teary, and locked hands between them all.

"Yeah.

We're glad too."

And now for my myriad of Notes:

I was actually thinking of just some kind of melding shit for the fusion bc I thought it would be Cool but then I realized it was Thomas' brain so it'd probably look like the shit from SU. Big F :///

Sorry for any inconsistencies, I was giving .2 shits at the time and also In The Tub, so

Me, a bitch who has siblings but isn't very close to them emotionally: *shaking my phone wildly* hoW THE FU CK DO I WRITE BRO THERS INTERACTING S O F T L Y-

I'm Certainly planning on more stuff coming from Virgil and Logan, we can't leave them out

I'm Aware that 80% of this isn't canon, but,,,,last I checked we didn't really care here? So??

For the scene after Roman and Remus defuse, I'm honestly thinking more of smth where the two go to one of their rooms and talk it out and THEN go back to the commons to check on The Boys and o h sh it why are Janus and Patton crying-

Answer: they thought they'd fucked everything up for them but they didN'T! FUCK YEA!!!

Idk how to explain,,,Why they're emotional abt this actually

Like...idk. Um...they both care for both of them and didn't want them to be separated Permanently bc they Knew they didn't feel right w/out each other?

Ok that works

Anyways but uh

Then Logan and Virgil get to ask some questions and THEN we get to the part where Janus and Patton explain why they are In Tears

Also Logan wasn't as old as Pat and Jan when Creativity split, so he doesn't really...remember it

Virgil was probably Very New tbh

The opening scene is ABSO LUT ELY going to Extremely metaphorical and sad and like 'two pieces of a whole cleaved apart' yknow

Gotta make angst to make that fluff!!

Also don't ask me why Janus falls apart Even Harder than Patton does here man, I think he's just On The Mind and I'll make our dad friend more emotional in Post, I Promise

Also pls hmu if the shit I've managed to put here so far is So Out There it's Impossible, I've written Janus one (1) time and I have written Remus zero (0) times ok

Also Remus and Roman don't...really remember much of the split. They remember feeling whole and then empty and whole again, and they have some of OG Creativity's memories, but the Split and moments following are...Foggy. Rightfully so, aswell, tbh.

Also how I imagine it going is like,,,,the boys are split, they hang out for a bit, and then they're taken by their respective Parent(ish) and are taught Entirely Differently and therefore grow to dislike each other!!!!!!!

patton has oh so much to regret.

They could've been Brothers...

Oh my God they could've been Br ot her s...............

Patton and Janus at 3 am crying over the fact they separated the boys at the Split be like:

Anyways!! My whole point is that Hopefully any problems will be Fixed when I actually write it but I just wanted to get the concept out there and uh,,,,,,yeah

Anyways uh *shuts my door* yea that's that,,,thanks for coming to my ramblings ig

(I'm so sorry I can't put a read more, I'm on mobile,,,)

#sanders sides #ts deceit #ts remus #ts roman #ts virgil #ts patton #creativitwins #catch me crying over the twins 24/7 #ts logan #i forgot logan;;#i wrote the whole og idea in google docs on a ideas doc #it ended up......Way longer than i anticipated #also f for us mobile users in the chat #trash talks #long post #lots of text #sorry;; :'(

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sxfterhearts · 4 years

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get to know me!

Tagged by: @mxillusion thank you so much for tagging me omg i’m so honoured!! this is the first time i got tagged too hahah i feel you girl, the excitement is real

Rules: Answer some questions and tag some bloggers you want to know better.

Name: Rachel

Nicknames: Rach, Rae Rae, honestly i’ll respond to anything, even if you call me “hey”

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Height: 162cm? Maybe??

Languages: English, Mandarin, Malay, ᵗᶦⁿʸ ᵇᶦᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶠʳᵉⁿᶜʰ and i can read hangeul hehe (perks of a senior kpop fan)

Nationality: Australian/Malaysian

Current time: 10:42pm (aka time for me to start writing LMAO)

Favourite season: Winter is my favourite!! I also don’t mind spring and autumn, just not summer bc if you’ve been to Aus in summer it is literally like living in an oven smh... Winter in Japan is probs my fav cos snow hehe

Favourite flower: Roses, baby’s breath and carnations! fun story, my friend who lives overseas got a bouquet of flowers delivered to my doorstep for my birthday ㅠㅠ

Favourite scent: The smell of food (any food honestly i love food sm), coffee (especially when i’m sitting in a cafe and doing work), rain, certain brands of laundry detergent (mhmm that clean, heavenly scent)

Favourite colour: Pastel colours, especially pink but i also tend gravitate towards grey clothes for some reason

Favourite animal: i wish i had a pet corgi!!

Favourite fictional character: for a longgg time i was rly obsessed with harry potter so.. harry potter + the gang LOL

Average hours of sleep: ~7 hours when i have uni but now that it’s holidays it kinda varies - i tend to sleep past midnight and stay in bed til noon hahha

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee definitely!! i have a cup every single day~ although i feel the need to mention my other favourite beverage - bubble tea!!!

Number of blankets you sleep with: Uhm one? (isn’t this the same for everyone o.O)

Dogs or cats: dogs!!

Dream trip: jeju & japan

Dream job: honestly i am going thru like a life crisis rn cos idrk what i wanna do with my life after graduation so yea LOL

Followers: 90 (omg i’m surprised that people actually follow my blog, thank you guys!!! as you can tell from my lack of a theme, i’m pretty new to tumblr so apologies for that...)

Blog established: tbh i opened this blog years ago but never really used it much until this may! i got into got7 during nbtm era and read a lottt of fanfics on here so i decided to start writing again! honestly the best decision i made in 2020 bc although my writings are kinda short/don’t get a lot of attention/aren’t very good, i’m glad that i have a creative outlet to pour my heart and soul into. i think i also mentioned this before that when i write, i feel satisfied bc it’s like i’ve accomplished something for the day! the likes, reblogs, comments and asks that i receive are the cherry on top~

Reason for my URL: i initially wanted it to be sxfthearts bc it’s a u/n i use on other social media sites but that was taken so i used sxfterhearts instead, aka softerhearts. doesn’t really have a specific meaning but i thought it sounded cute and well, soft

Main blog: this one!

Sideblogs: none

Random fact: i was (and still am) a huge exo-l before i stanned got7, like multiple posters in my bedroom, running a fanacc, that sort of thing. i sort of fell out of kpop these past few years but after watching jackson as a judge on a chinese singing show, i started to look up got7 and fell down the rabbit hole! when i first started out, my bias went from jackson to mark to jinyoung/jaebeom, but ofc i love and appreciate all 7 boys! i’m actually a pretty new ahgase but i hope this doesn’t reflect in my writing hahah i’ll work harder in the future to learn more about got7 and produce better, more accurate pieces of writing! thank you for your support!!

Tagging: @prettywordsyouleft @jinyoungsir @jinseunie (omgomg i know we’ve never interacted before but i really enjoy reading your fics and you guys inspired me to write as well!! it’s alright if you don’t do this but yea just wanna say i’m your fan and i appreciate your existence 🥺) also anyone who wants to do this, feel free to do it as well! 💖

#tag #get to know me #tag game #first time getting tagged #im so happy omg

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idabbleincrazy · 4 years

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Which Fic - Tag Game

I was tagged by @idreamofplaid (Please make your own post)

Which of your fics…

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

There’s a lot of my fics that I had hoped would get more notice than they do, but Ask and Ye Shall Receive is one that I really expected more attention on. Being my first real Destiel fic, I was already nervous about posting it, but it got so little notice compared to the number of people who follow the ship. It really speaks to how important reblogging is that this fic still has under 100 notes for each chapter. I was also surprised that Voulez-Vous didn’t get more traction, seeing how so many readers love both the clothes sharing trope, and being part of a Winchester sandwich.

…got a better reaction than you expected?

Prodigal Son was one that did quite well that I was expecting only a few people to read, given the nature of the smut, but hey, ya never know right? Another one I was glad to see get more love than I’d hoped for was Best Shark Week Ever; given that it’s a fic about the reader being on their period, I wasn’t sure how it would be received. But it’s one that I’ve received some really loving comments on and I’m glad I posted it. There’s not enough fics that include the topic, and it’s something that seems to be perceived as taboo when it shouldn’t.

…is your funniest?

I don’t really do full-on crack fics, more crack-ish, but I think my funniest would probably be Unexpected Discoveries, where Sam has been reading A/B/O fanfic and ends up roleplaying with the reader. Happy Trails to You is another one that has some funny moments in it, given the nature of the fic was based around Gabriel’s whipped cream happy trail, and a silly line about America’s Ass.

…is your darkest or angstiest?

Hmm...there’s Pierced, a fic that wasn’t supposed to be angsty but ended up very much so. Do not go into it expecting a happy ending. The Wrong Something, To Be Loved, Whatever the Cost, Say Something, and Those We Left Behind are all angsty coda drabbles. Depends on your definition of Dark fic, but Stay and Flightless Bird are two dark!Chuck fics I have, centered on the way he’s been since the end of s14. The King and His Demon is a dark!Sabriel fic, my previously mentioned Prodigal Son is another Demon Blood Sam fic, and Saving Grace is a dark installment in my Christa-verse series.

…is your absolute favorite?

How do I pick just one? I guess Flightless Bird, Best Shark Week Ever, and Situation will always hold extra love in my heart.

…is your least favorite?

I guess The Promise. It was my first posted fic and I probably could have done a lot better with it.

…was the easiest to write?

Best Shark Week Ever. I got the first two chapters written in a day. Now if I could just get back to it...

…was hardest to write?

Angel of the Morning. I stepped away from it forever before finally pushing thru and finished it.

…has your favorite lines/exchange/paragraph? (share it!)

From Happy Trails to You ~ “Who needs America’s Ass, when you’ve got Heaven’s Dick in your bed?”

This little exchange from Voulez-Vous ~ "You haven't been playing fair, baby girl. Waltzing around in our clothes like this; that coupled with that teasing jibe you made after that 'wolf hunt, how were we supposed to resist? We know how to share when necessary, so we came to an agreement."

"That is, if you want us. Both of us."

You pulled back enough to look at them both, your head swimming with the knowledge that they wanted you, that your once impossible dream was this close to becoming reality. Sam smiled down at you, a wolfish gleam in his eyes.

"So, I guess the only question left is, voulez-vous?"

You swallowed back the bubble of laughter that threatened to escape your lips at his blatant reference and leaned back across Dean's lap, letting the arm of the couch support your back as you responded.

"A-ha."

From Jacksonville, FL (A KoC fic) ~ “Hmm, never figured you for a bossy bottom.”

“There’s a lot of things you still don’t know about me, Richie, but I’ll make sure you have plenty of fun finding them out.”

…have you reread the most?

The Hunting Cabin and A Fish May Love A Bird are two I love to go back to for some happy feels.

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Honestly, it depends on the person. I’ve got so many different levels of kink throughout my smut fics, and a lot of different pairings, I wouldn’t even know where to start. What do you guys think?

…are you most proud of?

Best Shark Week Ever. I’m proud that I was able to incorporate hot, loving smut into all the ‘Sam-is-the-best-boyfriend-ever’ fluff and pass on some info about periods that isn’t discussed enough. I’m glad that people have told me how realistic it seemed, and how they learned new things.

Tagging: @archangelgabriellives @thewhiterabbit42 @shaylybaby2032 @mir567 @warlockwriter @falcatrecon @masterpieceofturkeycleverness and whoever else wants to do it, not sure who all’s been tagged already...

#tag game #self rec

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dragonnan · 3 years

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Author Interview Tag

Tagged by @aelaer a week or two ago, thank you!

Name: Tanya (among family I'm Nan or Auntie Nanny)

Fandoms: Sherlock, MCU, Psych, Prodigal Son, and a goodly collection of others

Where you post: For a number of years I posted on FFN but between the really shitty reviews and extremely cumbersome posting process I finally quit. I posed on Psychfic while still an active part of that fandom but that, too, has pretty much ended. I put a few stories on Wattpad but found it to be pretty meh. I now post exclusively to AO3.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: It's a tossup between “Fury” on Psychfic and “All Nighter” on AO3 – one based on comments and the other on Kudos. Frankly “popularity” is really subjective because there's also stuff like read count and with comments, at least nearly half are replies from me and read count also includes re-reads as well as every time I clicked on the damn thing to edit so....

You know I'm just really not sure how to properly answer this??

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Like others have stated you can ask me this on three different days and get three different answers and there will be more than 1 fic mentioned every time so.... Because I write in different fandoms I just absolutely can't list a single fic. The best I can narrow it would a fic from my top 3 fandoms.

Psych: Paint it Black. I had read a fic where Shawn was gradually going blind and had really been enjoying it and the challenges it presented. Sadly it was never completed. As has happened before I decided I would write my own damn fic if I couldn't get a completed story so that was the primary motivation to start this. What I most love about this is writing from Shawn's perspective as he navigates being blind and not knowing whether or not his condition is permanent. I did my best to honor the experience of blind and partially blind people and tried to look beyond the cliché.

MCU: I have so much fun writing these stories! In spite of the dumpster fire the film canon became I do so love this sandbox and employing various forms of unfucking it. So I'm gonna cheat a little and pick two for my faves here since one is a WIP. Sed Diabolus. I don't need to have completed it yet to know this will be my all-time favorite. This is the first fic that has been entirely plotted out and OMG I'm so excited for iiiit!! The second is Simple Math which seems like an odd choice given there's zero action – mostly just one character – hell, not even any whump. But there is something about that deep dive into Tony's mindset that keeps this as a fave even though it was the first thing I ever wrote for the MCU. I learned about Tony as I wrote this and I also worked my way through those motivations that bothered me regarding Stane. Even years later I still mentally go back to this fic whenever I write Tony because I feel encapsulates the essence of how I see him as a character.

Sherlock: Compared to other fandoms I'm still quite new to this fandom so I don't have nearly as many fics. But I still have a favorite! And, like with the MCU, it's the first story I ever wrote for this fandom; The Tiger and the Shark. Returning to a plot device I've employed in other fics, this one is built around a sexual assault and taking the character on a journey from that terrible event to the point where they rediscover themselves. PTSD ever being my favorite form of whump I employ that fairly a lot in this story and employ some kinda radical methods for coping with those memories.

Fic you were nervous to post: I mean until I start getting comments I'm a world of anxiety with every story I post. But grabbing a specific fic that hit my nerves – that Sherlock fic I'd said was my fave certainly qualified. Not only was it my first Sherlock fic – it also was charging out of the gate with a very heavy topic so yeah – I wasn't sure if people would absolutely hate it or find my characterizations totally off or what.

How you choose your titles: It varies a bit. In some stories, like Sed Diabolus, I actually consult friends on various ideas. Other times I'll consider songs or lyrics and my favorite thing is if I can alter the known title just a bit to make it more relevant to the fic (I did that a LOT with Psych fics which was the method the show also employed for its episode titles). One of my favorite Psych titles is “The Wizard Was the Wicked Witch and the Scarecrow Lost His Courage”.

Do you outline: Almost never – not until “Sed Diabolus”. That story, though, is so astoundingly complex that without an outline I'd be hopelessly lost. I am, though, trying to make a practice of outlining more because it helps SO much!

Complete: If we count every one-shot collection and challenge collection it likely is over 200 stories. Of course a lot of those are one-shots. My total completed chaptered fics number maybe around 34?

In progress: 16 – between Psychfic and AO3. All Psych stories are on long-term hiatus for the foreseeable future (some, honestly, I will never finish as they are many many years old and I've lost the inspiration for the plot). Several MCU stories are also on the back-burner while I focus on “Sed Diabolus”. I admit I get LOTS of story ideas and staying focused on a single fic is not something I've ever been greatly successful with.

Coming soon/not yet started: I meaaaan.... lots?? I have probably several hundred ideas and partially started fics across many fandoms. As to “imminently coming soon...” I don't think I currently have an active story that I haven't already posted at least a first chapter. Sadly I have zero patience for developing something for months before posting which is why I have so many WIPs. That said I DO have a Sherlock au that has been poking at me now and then involving the witch trials that started in Denmark and, eventually, made their way to Salem. The idea would be that Molly Hooper is accused of being a witch. She, of course, is innocent but cause this unfortunate attention due to her “uncanny” ability to heal the sick and injured (not so much uncanny as opposed to employing methods that aren't so reliant on superstition and folklore).

She is scheduled to be tortured and executed but is saved by Sherlock – a strange recluse primarily ignored and given a pass as he solves mysteries for people. He and his friend John save Molly from this awful fate. The twist is that Sherlock is a sorcerer (bit of marvel crossover-ish) and able to transport them to safety.

Do you accept prompts: I wish I could cause I love ideas but I don't have the time/energy to always work on what I already have and I'm awful at follow thru. Like I will never turn away an Ask wanting to share ideas but I can't promise that I can actually write anything.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: As was the reply to a previous query – I have lots that are ideas that will linger in partial stages for sometimes years. If it's “upcoming” I've already posted the first chapter lol! But, again, I have several story ideas that whenever I poke through my folders I get excited about someday actually writing them. Here is a teaser for an MCU fic involving Tony Stark and Obie (I still feel this was never explored enough – certainly not in fic):

They were doing a retrospective, ten year anniversary kinda... whatever. Unofficial, of course. Certainly nothing Pepper would have dreamed up even at her most drunk (which, honestly, was never her scene. Tony had sorta owned that space well beyond the time it had started owning him). Whose idea it ultimately had been? Frankly Tony couldn't give a fuck. That he was asked to be one of the speakers was slightly more... awkward. Awkward was the right word, yeah? Nauseating was certainly another and possibly a bit more accurate.

Dead for a decade and Obadiah Stane still managed to fuck with his life.

But... it hadn't always been that way. At least, not as he'd believed back when the Walkman had been on every kid's Christmas list.

He'd thought it was bonding; at the time. His dad had never been one for just hanging out; shooting the shit; telling tales out of school. No, Pops, when he bothered to interact, led with questions. “You keeping your grades up?” “You still seeing that floozy?” “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and grow the hell up?” “You do realize it's my name you're disgracing every time you go on a bender?”

With Obie it was just, easy. Obie might ask about school but it was always with approval and pride. He would discuss Tony's conquests as though Tony had climbed Kilimanjaro wearing nothing but underwear and a cape.

Obie was there when his father wasn't. Which meant that Obie was always there. The first time he got astoundingly drunk on his father's scotch, Obie was the one to help him hunch over the toilet and vomit expensive, aged booze into the toilet. Obie was also the one to replace the depleted bottle to keep Howard in the dark. For a fourteen year old kid still trying to gain his dad's favor, that had meant everything.

He saw his first porn with Obie; sex education ala Traci Lords, three months shy of his fifteenth birthday. That was the same time he was introduced to weed. Obie had cautioned him to use it sparingly; didn't want to fry that genius brain, he'd say, and ruffle his hair. The porn had made him uncomfortable. Obie had turned it off and told him they could watch whatever Tony wanted. They'd ended up changing the station to Knight Rider; smoking and munching Cheetos and laughing over their orange fingers.

It was Obie who was there, arm around his shoulders, after his parents died. He desperately didn't want to sob in front of the man. Things were so complicated with his dad that all he felt was blinding guilt... as though some part of him had caused this. But Obie had filled him with bourbon until the emotions got soft around the edges and he'd sat beside the older man, head tipping gradually to the right until he was held up by Obie's shoulder. Obie had just slung an arm around him and let Tony pass out while he rubbed a broad hand up and down his bicep.

It was strange, now, looking back with adult perspective. A perspective that included Afghanistan and his intended execution while Obie talked about legacy and responsibility while Tony's lungs slowly seized. He'd taken the time to sit there – arm around Tony's shoulders while one broad hand traveled up and down Tony's bicep – just like when he was a kid and Obie was the whole world.

He'd tried to remember if it had felt so... tainted... at the time. Or if he'd always believed it was love.

Obie had never quite crossed that line. Though hindsight offered a peek into that possibility with enough clarity Tony had fought with his cramping gut for nearly thirty minutes. He'd staved off vomiting though he was fairly certain his dignity had still been in tatters what with Bruce wandering in on his misery.

Upcoming story you are most excited about (this is basically a repeat of the above question so I decided to change it. Do you have a future story idea you'd like to write that is not yet beyond the vague idea stage? I love stories that put Molly in some sort of jeporady and I have a barely formed idea to someday write a “stalker fic” of some sort and not I don't care that this trope had been done on repeat – I still love it lol! I have a smidge of writing for it:

“I need your help.”

As afternoons at Baker Street went, this was a mundane request heard so often that Sherlock's typical reply, “Obviously, or you wouldn't be here”, could have been printed on flash cards. The detective had actually made the suggestion after a particularly full day at the flat and having heard the statement no less than twenty times.

Today, however, Sherlock merely blinked for a moment. Then, with an awkwardness rare to a man with a lethal sort of grace in his movements, Sherlock gestured to John's chair, JOHN'S CHAIR, before taking his usual seat.

Molly didn't exactly smile but her lips edged up a bit before she sat.

John cleared his throat before pointing a vague hand towards the kitchen. “I'll just go make some tea, shall I?”

“No, please, I...” The stammer in her speech was not uncommon; though John couldn't recall such obvious fear. Forgoing the kitchen he, instead, took the hard wooden chair facing the other two.

“Molly, what's wrong?”

Tagging: @kitcat992 @mizjoely @sgam76 @ariaadagio @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace

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starletwriting · 5 years

Text

Killervibe Fic Week Day Four: Free Day

Word Count: 5840

Notes: Based off of the popular headcanon that Lia (Nora’s best friend from the 5x18 flashforwards episode) is Killervibe’s adopted daughter, due to the fact that she parallels both Cisco and Caitlin in a lot of ways, has a similar personality to Cisco, and displays a lot of Cisco’s mannerisms, even in just the one episode she appears in. This is also a bit canon divergent, because Barry never disappears in this fic, and Nora gets her powers a lot sooner than she does on the show. This fic honestly ended up being a bit more centered around Lia than it is around Killervibe, but it’s still a Killervibe fic because Caitlin and Cisco are married and they’re raising a kid together.

Warnings: character death (albeit one that was shown in the actual show), mourning, brief mention of a funeral

Tags: @thatkillervibe @shakesqueer-writes @narniasfinestavengingsociopath

~~~

Lia was five.

Cisco held her on his shoulders and walked around the kitchen humming a melody. Lia couldn’t stop giggling. Her dad bounced her around playfully and Lia would shriek with laughter every time. He would twirl around, and she would hold onto him and cheer happily.

“I have to put you down now, sweetie.”

“Aww!” Lia protested. “But this is fun!”

“I’m sorry.” Cisco said, setting her gently on the ground in front of him. “But I have to make dinner, and it’s hard to do that with you on my shoulders.”

“Then I wanna help!”

Cisco smiled. “You’re gonna help me make dinner?”

Lia nodded.

“Well, thank you, kiddo. I appreciate the help.” Cisco ruffled her hair affectionately. “We’re going to need the meat from the freezer. Can you go get that out?”

“Yeah!” She ran over to the fridge and pulled open the freezer door, then she climbed up on the door’s railing to get better leverage, and rummaged through the freezer until she found what she was looking for. She shut the freezer closed and hurried back over to her dad, proudly presenting the meat.

“Good job!”

Lia beamed.

Cisco got out the stuff that was too high for her to reach or too heavy for her to hold, but he let Lia get out everything she could. Before long, they had set out all the ingredients on the counter, and Cisco showed her how to prepare it.

“First, you cut the meat. I’m going to do this because I don’t want you to hurt yourself, but you can watch, and when you’re older you’ll know how to do it.”

“Okay!”

Cisco cut the meat into small sections and tossed them onto the pan to cook. Lia watched intently, sitting on the counter and dangling her legs as she did.

Fifty minutes later, the two of them had prepared a full meal.

Caitlin joined them, commenting on how good it smelled. Cisco made her a plate and Lia presented it to her, beaming with pride.

“Mommy! I helped make dinner!”

“Really? Look at you, being helpful!” Caitlin took a bite of her food and turned back to Lia. “Well, you did good, because it’s delicious.”

“Thank you!” Lia said. “Do you think I could be a chef one day?”

“You can be whatever you want to be, sweetheart.”

Caitlin kissed the top of Lia’s head. Lia grinned, and ran back to Cisco to get her own plate of food.

~~~

Lia was six.

It was Mother’s Day morning. Caitlin woke up to her husband and daughter greeting her with breakfast in bed, something they did for her every Mother’s Day. And, every year, she thanked them with the same amount of surprise she did the year before. There were eggs, bacon, toast, and a yogurt parfait, which was all Caitlin needed.

“Thank you, guys!” Caitlin said. “This looks great.”

Cisco sat on his side of the bed and hoisted Lia up on his lap. “Lia was really excited about helping prepare the eggs this year.”

Lia nodded, as if confirming Cisco’s words. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!”

“Thanks, sweetheart!”

“Mommy, I have something for you!”

“Lia, I thought we were giving her the presents at lunch?” Cisco asked.

“I know, but I just can’t wait! I’m excited!”

“Alright,” Cisco chuckled. “Go bring her your gift.”

Lia hopped off the bed and ran into the other room to get it. When she returned, she was carrying a small pot of flowers and a single paper.

“Daddy took me to the store to pick out flowers for you!” Lia said, handing her the flowers. “He said these are your favorite.”

They were white lilies, placed in a beautiful decorative assortment with some light blue daisies for color. She had always loved lillies, and the white and blue color scheme fit well for her. She turned to Cisco with a warm, grateful smile.

“And then I drew this for you!”

Lia gave Caitlin the paper she had been holding. It was a drawing done in colored pencil, depicting a triangular slice of pie.

“I’m not good at drawing people, but then I remembered that time we made pie together and I drew that!” Lia said.

Caitlin couldn’t help the smile growing on her face. She hugged Lia tight and kissed her forehead.

“Thank you, sweetie. I love it.”

“You’re welcome!” Lia said. “Thanks for being the best Mommy ever.”

“Ever?” Caitlin laughed.

Lia nodded. “The best Mommy in the whole wide world!”

“Well, that’s all because I have the best daughter in the whole wide world.”

Lia giggled. “Thanks, Mommy.”

~~~

Lia was eight.

She groaned because Nora had won Mario Kart for the sixth time in the last hour.

“How are you so good at this?”

Nora shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of practice. I play against my dad a lot.”

“I never knew Uncle Barry was good at Mario Kart.”

“He’s not, really.” Nora leaned forwards and grabbed some chips off of the plate on the table. “I win against him all the time. Uncle Wally is really good, though. I play against him and Aunt Jesse whenever they come to visit. Sometimes Aunt Jenna will play with me, but she’s busy with homework and studying.”

“Let’s play one last round.” Lia said. “I’m bound to win at least one.”

“If you’re sure.” Nora picked up her controller again. “I’ll be Peach.”

Lia selected Rosalina for her character. “I get to pick the course this time. Which means absolutely no Rainbow Road.”

“We’ve done easier courses.” Nora said. “I still won.”

“No need to brag.” Lia scoffed. “Alright, let’s do Yoshi Circuit. I like that one.”

The race started, and Nora took off with the boost at the beginning. Lia sighed. She was already in first place.

Lia picked up every power-up that she could find in hopes of getting something that would help. At one point, she hit Nora with a red shell and pulled into first place, and she cheered at her victory. However, her cheer caused her to lose her place as Nora took the opportunity to hit Lia with a blue shell and reclaim her position.

Inevitably, Nora finished the race in first, and Lia pulled in third.

Lia sighed in resignation and turned the tv off.

“Fine, you win.”

“We can play something else if you want.”

Before Lia could reply to Nora’s offer, the sound of footsteps cut her off and caused the two of them to look at the source of the sound. Cisco walked downstairs, twirling his keys in his hand, and turned to the girls on his living room couch.

“I have a question for you two,” He said. “What would you say to going out and getting Big Belly Burger?”

Their response was simultaneous. “Yes!”

Cisco smiled. “I thought so. C’mon, let’s get in the car.”

Both girls ran into the garage and scrambled to climb into the backseat of Cisco’s car. Cisco followed behind and got in the driver’s seat. When he started the car, he put on the radio so the kids could listen to music.

The kids played rock-paper-scissors in the backseat until Cisco pulled into the drive-thru.

“Okay, tell me your orders one at a time.” Cisco said. “If I can’t hear you, then I can’t order anything for you.”

Lia told him her order, and then Nora. Cisco got the both of them the meals they wanted, and when the food came, he stretched backseat to hand them their food.

“Thanks, Dad!”

“Thanks, Uncle Cisco!”

Lia took a huge bite out of her burger. Nora dug into her fries first, saving her burger for later.

Cisco drove a bit further until he arrived at the park. They brought their food to a picnic table in the shade, and ate there. The kids traded their Happy Meals toys and shared fries, and drank the smoothies they had ordered until they got brain freeze.

“When you’re done with your food, then you can go play.” Cisco gestured towards the playground. “But you have to be done with your food first.”

“Okay!”

The kids wolfed down their food as fast as their eight-year-old mouths could chew. They threw away their trash only after Cisco reminded them to, then raced to the playground. Nora naturally won, which caused Lia to only sigh once more.

“One more time!” Lia insisted. “I’m going to win this time.”

Nora laughed. “If you say so.”

Cisco watched the kids play with a smile on his face, then turned back to his burger.

~~~

Lia was eleven.

She woke up to snow and the news that school had been canceled. For a sixth-grader, there’s no better thing.

Caitlin told her that if she bundled up in winter clothes, then she could go outside. Lia got dressed into her warmest winter coat and furry winter boots, and Caitlin put on a scarf, hat, and mittens.

Lia ran outside and twirled around in the snow until she got dizzy, then she laid on the ground and made snow angels.

Her parents invited the West-Allens over to enjoy their day off school. Barry and Iris stayed inside and talked with Caitlin and Cisco over a cup of hot coffee, while Lia and Nora played around in the snow. They got as much snow together as they could and tried to make a snowman, but it ended up just looking like a deformed pile of snow.

The kids ran inside and convinced their parents to come out and enjoy the weather with them, and eventually the parents gave in. They put on their coats and walked out into the snow, leaving footprints as they did so.

“We tried to make a snowman, but it didn’t work out so well.” Nora sighed.

“You just need to know how to properly make a snowman.” Cisco said. “My brother and I used to make snowmen all the time when we were kids. Here, I’ll show you.”

He began gathering a small round lump of snow and shaped it into a ball as if he was making a snowball. Then, he rolled it against the snow and watched it grow in size.

“You don’t just lump the snow together. There has to be a method to your madness.” He said. “You have to roll it out, like so.”

The two families all joined forces in rolling out the snow and forming it until it looked more like an actual snowman. Once they had the base, then they rolled out another ball of snow for the middle, then they made the head. Lia and Nora went searching for stones that they could use as buttons, and Caitlin went and got a carrot from inside for the nose.

“He’s missing a hat.” Lia said. “Snowmen in the movies all have hats.”

“Well, we don’t have any stereotypical top hats if that’s what you’re looking for.” Caitlin said.

“Mom, can you make one?” Lia asked. “Please?”

“Alright.” Caitlin said. “For you.”

She took her gloves off and handed them to Iris to hold. She concentrated for a second- it only took a second. Her eyes glowed a bright icy white, and her hair changed to match. Snow swirled from her fingertips and clumped together on the top of the snowman’s head to form a nice, perfectly shaped top hat like the one Lia wanted. The second she was done, her eyes reverted to their normal state, and her hair melted back to brown.

“Thank you!”

“There it is,” Nora looked at the snowman with the same pride a mother would look at her child. “Our perfect snowman.”

“He needs a name.” Barry said. “What’re we gonna name him?”

“Hm…” Lia pondered.

“What about Ronald?” Iris suggested. “He looks like a Ronald to me.”

“Ronald the Snowman.” Nora laughed.

“I like it.” Lia said. “Ronald the Snowman it is.”

No one saw it coming. It happened when everyone was distracted by the snowman. They only saw the aftermath.

Barry’s chest had a white puff of snow right in the center. He had felt the impact and looked up at Cisco, who was holding another snowball in his hand and snickering.

“Gotcha.”

“Oh yeah?” Barry smirked. He leaned down and picked up snow off the ground to form his own snowballs for payback. With his speed, he formed four snowballs in no time at all, and sent them all flying at Cisco. “How’s that for payback?”

Cisco brushed the snow off his jacket. “Oh, it’s on, Allen.”

Iris and Caitlin watched the two of them and laughed to themselves.

“I swear, even now they still act so much like kids sometimes.” Iris said.

“You wanna join them?” Caitlin asked.

“Oh, absolutely.” Iris nodded. “Let’s team up so we can win against them.”

“Deal.”

The kids were all too keen on the idea of a snowball fight. They grabbed as much snow as they could carry, and prepared to defend themselves against their parents.

Before long, their snowball fight was an all-out war… but all in good fun. Loyalties shifted throughout the game. Iris ended up allying herself with Barry, and Caitlin with Cisco. The kids joined their parents. Turns out the West-Allens are really good at making snowballs. Iris and Nora were tough competition to beat, but Lia and Cisco managed. With their powers, all bets were off. Caitlin could create new snowballs from thin air and pass them on to her husband and daughter. Cisco could open breaches and drop them on the West-Allens while he stayed a far ways away, safe from any snowballs they might throw in retaliation. Barry and Nora could use their speed to make a bunch of snowballs within seconds, and to attack their opponents before they knew what was happening.

At the end of the day, Caitlin’s endless supply of snowballs and Cisco’s breaches declared the more useful tactic. The Ramon family was declared the winners, and both families went inside for a cup of hot chocolate in front of the fire.

Nora and Lia talked and laughed, sipping their hot chocolate with plenty of marshmallows on top. The adults all chatted with each other and enjoyed their own beverages.

The West-Allens stayed for dinner as well. By the time they went home, Lia was sad to see them go. She hugged Nora tight, despite the fact that she’d see her at school the very next day.

Lia decided then and there that snow days were her favorite.

~~~

Lia was fourteen.

High school hit her hard. The workload was tons more than she was used to, the school was bigger, the teachers were new, and what’s more, Nora went to a different high school, so Lia was alone and friendless.

She found herself tapping her pencil against the kitchen table, trying to will her mind to focus but to no avail. The clock ticked as seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours. She groaned and grabbed her hair in her fists, but nothing helped.

There was a math test tomorrow in first period, and yet she understood nothing. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the answers right, and she was doomed to fail.

“Honey?”

Lia looked up to see her mother, looking at her with an expression of concern.

“You okay?” She gently brushed Lia’s hair behind her ear. “Do you need help?”

As much as Lia’s pride urged her to deny the offer, her better judgement said otherwise.

“Yes.” She said. “Desperately.”

“I’ll help, then.” Caitlin pulled up a chair and sat down so that she could better look over Lia’s assignment. “You’re doing math?”

Lia nodded. “It’s confusing, and it’s hard, and I hate it.”

“If you approach it with that attitude, then you won’t learn.” Caitlin’s voice was gentle and guiding. “Here, let’s take it one step at a time.”

“I tried that, I don’t even know where to start!” Lia’s frustration got the better of her, and she snapped. “High school is so much harder than middle school. I wish I could go back to when things were easy, and simple, and I didn’t have to worry about stupid complicated math problems, or kids that think it’s weird that I’m adopted, because apparently that’s a bad thing, or- or-” Lia started to choke up a bit on her words. She felt a lump in her throat forming. As much as she hated it, tears started to well up in her eyes, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. “Or having to feel alone at school because Nora’s going to some fancy charter school that I didn’t get into, and I have to face the fact that I’ve really only had one friend my whole life and that’s because you and Dad have been friends with the West-Allens since before I came along! Eating lunch at school sucks because I have to sit out in the hallway when I don’t know anyone and I just stare at the blank pages of a book I don’t really want to read, just so I look a little less awkward!” Her tears were streaming down her cheeks now, but she didn’t care. “And on top of that, I’m- I’m confused, and I wish I could talk to Nora about it but Nora’s always busy with homework, and I know it’s not her fault, and I’m not angry at her, I just… feel so alone, and lost, and… it’s so complicated.”

“Sweetie,” Caitlin wiped Lia’s tears from her face. “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. If you were confused, you could’ve just talked to me.”

“No, that’s-” Lia shook her head. “You don’t get it.”

“Then help me understand.”

Lia stayed silent for a long moment. Caitlin wondered if she was ever gonna talk. Lia just cried into her hands, and sniffed, and blew her nose into a tissue. She was conflicted, fighting an inner battle between her emotions and her better judgment. She was pained, that much was clear. Something was troubling her, and she knew that it would hurt to speak it aloud, but she also knew that it was something she had to say.

“I… I think I like girls.” Lia muttered, finally. “And boys. I think? I don’t know. It’s all so confusing, and I just wish I could figure myself out already without all this contemplating nonsense.”

“Oh, honey.” Caitlin hugged her daughter. “There’s no rush to figure yourself out. That’s your journey, and there’s no beginning or end to it. Whoever you are, your dad and I will love you just the same. But you can’t force it. You have to figure yourself out at your own pace.”

Lia sniffed. “Thanks, Mom.”

“I’m sorry you feel alone at school. Would you want to join some clubs to try to meet new people?”

“That sounds scary.” Lia said. “New environment.”

“I get that.” Caitlin said. “Well, how about this? This weekend, you and Nora can go out shopping, see a movie, whatever you’d like, and you’d get to spend some quality time together. I can’t promise that Nora will be free every weekend, but maybe you girls could come up with a plan to get together and have a sleepover maybe once a month, just to catch up. And I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind hosting dinners with the West-Allens more often.”

Lia smiled through her tears. “That sounds like fun.”

“But for now, let’s just focus on this math problem.” Caitlin said. “I promise, life will work itself out, but you have to take it one step at a time.”

“Okay.” She picked her pencil back up. “I’m ready to try.”

“That’s my girl.”

~~~

Lia was eighteen.

Various packing boxes sat before her. Her college dorm was a lot smaller than she had expected, but from what she heard, that was normal. By some hint of luck, both Lia and Nora had been accepted into Central City University, and their request to be roommates was approved. Nora had finished unpacking in mere seconds. Granted, she used her speed, and Lia unfortunately was left to unpack at a normal human pace.

“The worst part about being adopted,” Lia sighed. “Not inheriting powers.”

“Don’t worry. I gotcha.” In a flurry of yellow and purple lightning, Nora emptied out all of Lia’s boxes and arranged her posters, decorations, and other belongings along her space. She skidded to a halt, and turned to Lia. “How’s that? If you don’t like it, I can undo it.”

“That looks…” Lia looked at her newly decorated space in awe. “Wonderful. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Nora flopped down onto her bed. “Just one of the perks of having a speedster for a best friend.”

“Another perk is never letting said speedster best friend forget the time she sped-run right into a stop sign.” Lia gently shoved Nora’s shoulder in a friendly-teasing gesture.

Nora groaned at the memory. “That hurt like hell. I had a bruise on my face for three whole days.”

“Hey, three days is not a lot.” Lia sat down next to Nora. “Be glad you have speed-healing.”

“I’d be lost without it.” Nora said. “When I got my powers, the first thing Dad taught me was how to brake. Thank god for that.”

“And yet it only works if you’re paying attention to what’s in front of you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Nora chuckled.

“Oh! I wanted to ask.” Lia spoke suddenly, as if it had just occurred to her. “Apparently some other freshman in a dorm not too far from ours are having a movie night tonight. Some girl passed me in the hallway earlier and asked if I’d want to go.”

“Do you wanna go?”

Lia shrugged. “I’ll go if you do. Otherwise, I’ll pass.”

“Well, how about we have a Netflix night tonight, just the two of us?” Nora said. “We can binge more classic tv shows from when our parents were in college, and even better, I’ll run to the store and get snacks. I’ll buy some chocolate for me and some licorice for you.”

“You know me so well.” Lia smiled. “That sounds great.”

“Hey, what’re best friends for?” Nora said. “You get Netflix pulled up. I’ll be back in a sec with snacks.”

She sped out the door, leaving a trail of purple and yellow lightning behind her.

~~~

Lia was twenty.

The steak was warm and well-cooked. Her mom had prepared green beans and mashed potatoes. The West-Allens had brought over some food as well. Barry had prepared it, seeing as how he’s always been better at Iris than cooking. No one would ever admit that to Iris, but they knew it was true. Too many times in Nora and Lia’s youth, Nora would complain that her mom was cooking that night because her dad was busy.

The Christmas tree was lit up and decorated with ornaments. They had decorated it together, both the Ramons and the West-Allens, just earlier that day. After all, Christmas Eve should be spent with family, and the West-Allens were exactly that.

Lia had spent the last few weeks shopping for both her parents, Nora, and Barry and Iris. As a college kid living off of frozen pizzas and ramen, she didn’t have too much to spend on gifts, but she was proud of what she ended up getting, and confident that they would like it.

“I hope the weather’s been treating you well.” Caitlin reached for the gravy.

“Actually, I got a pretty bad cold last week.” Lia said. “It sucked ass, but Nora made me hot tea, which was nice of her.”

Nora shrugged. “It was the least I could do.”

“Colds are the worst.” Caitlin sighed. “I’m glad you’re better now, though.”

“Actually, something exciting happened not too long ago.” Nora turned to Lia. “Tell them, Lia.”

“Oh! Right!” Lia smiled, and turned to everybody else at the table. “Nora and I went to our first pride about two weeks ago! It was Central City’s local pride parade. Nora had this huge lesbian flag that she was wearing as a cape, and I had face makeup with the bi pride colors.”

“That sounds like fun!” Cisco said.

Iris smiled. “I’m glad you girls got to go.”

“I already can’t wait for the next one.” Nora said. “We met all sorts of cool new people.”

“Y’know, Wally and Jesse went to a pride parade on Earth-2 not too long ago.” Barry said. “They had a bi pride flag and everything.”

“Oh, cool!” Lia turned to Nora. “I didn’t know your uncle was bi.”

Nora nodded. “Uncle Wally, Aunt Jesse, and Aunt Jenna. I have a lot of bi relatives.”

“How’s Jenna doing, by the way?”

“She’s doing good.” Nora said. “She loves her new job as a therapist. She says the empath powers really work well for her.”

“I can see why.” Lia said through a bit of mashed potatoes.

The friendly conversation continued until dinner was over. They talked in the living room and watched The Polar Express, one of Lia’s favorite movies from when she was a kid, and when the movie was over, they called it a night.

The next day was Christmas.

Lia didn’t wake up at 5am like she used to do every Christmas morning when she was a kid, but she did wake up when the others did, and the group ate breakfast and admired the Christmas lights. When they decided it was time, they passed around the presents from under the tree and opened them one at a time.

She bought Nora a new pair of sneakers, because she constantly wore down her old ones by speeding everywhere. They were cute, and matched Nora’s style perfectly. Even better, they fit perfectly.

“These are so cute!” Nora grinned. “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome!”

Lia had saved up her money to buy an old vintage movie set. They were the classics, from all the way back before her dad was born. She wrapped it carefully and handed it to her dad, and his face glowed up upon seeing it.

“Oh my god, sweetie, thank you!” Cisco squeezed his daughter tight. “This is amazing.”

“I was thinking sometime we could get Twizzlers and watch an old movie or two together.” Lia said. “Just you and me, like a father-daughter movie night.”

“Count me in.” Cisco grinned. “I can’t think of a better way to spend my afternoons.”

As for her mother, Lia had spent some time knitting her a scarf. It was white and blue, like Frost’s preferred color scheme, and it had little snowflakes across the rim.

“I’m not the best at knitting, but I’ve been learning.” Lia said. “And I figured you’re cold a lot with your powers, so I made that for you.”

Caitlin held it in her hands, rubbing the soft material and tracing the snowflakes with her fingers.

“It’s beautiful.” Caitlin exhaled softly, in awe. “Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better gift.”

“You’re welcome, Mom.”

As the families talked and shared the holiday together, it started to snow ever so lightly outside. That White Christmas went down in Lia’s memory of one of her favorites.

As the day came to a close, Lia was reminded of exactly how wonderful her family is.

~~~

Lia was twenty-eight.

Twenty-eight short years fulled to the brim with happy memories, only to be cut short so abruptly.

No one expected it. No one could have predicted it.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Lia was supposed to live a long and fulfilling life. She was supposed to get married and give Cisco and Caitlin grandkids. She was supposed to be Aunt Lia to Nora’s kids, and vice versa. She was supposed to spend so many more holidays with her family. Her parents weren’t supposed to outlive her.

But fate had other plans.

On that ill-fated day, Lia interfered with the wrong evil speedster. On that day, Godspeed left her for dead. On that day, Lia Ramon’s life ended.

No more movie nights with her dad. No more pride parades with Nora. No more snow days with her mom.

Lia was gone.

Every sweet moment that she had shared with her loved ones was history. They lived on as memories, but that was all they had left of the girl they knew. The girl that Cisco and Caitlin had raised.

Nora was driven into a rage. It’s always easier to be angry than to be sad. She wanted to be angry, she wanted to yell, she wanted to scream. She wanted to track down Godspeed and make him pay. She wanted someone to blame this on, and she wanted justice.

Except… justice wouldn’t bring Lia back.

Godspeed was sent to jail, and Nora had lost her scapegoat for her anger. Instead, she was left with an emptiness. As if she had lost a part of herself, and now there was just a big hole in its place. She would’ve rather have lost her arm than have lost Lia.

Nora found herself falling into a depression.

Cisco and Caitlin didn’t know how to cope with it at first. They couldn’t go on with their lives like normal, but it hurt too much to face the truth. They left Lia’s stuff untouched, because they knew they couldn’t so much as see it without experiencing the pain that came with it.

Lia’s funeral felt dismal.

Cisco started crying during the eulogy. That’s when it really hit him that his daughter was gone. He sobbed into some tissues that Caitlin had brought, and leaned on Caitlin’s shoulder for support.

After the funeral, Cisco and Caitlin went home and finally mustered up the courage to go through Lia’s old childhood bedroom.

Everything in there was attached to some memory of their daughter, and it stung. It just added salt to the wound, but it needed to be done. They needed to pack up Lia’s stuff, they couldn’t leave it out in her room forever. Besides, Lia needed to be honored, not forgotten.

So, together, Cisco and Caitlin went through her room.

Both of them were crying. Their eyes were red and puffy, and their noses were sore. They had brought tissues along with them, and they were going through them quickly. And yet, they found the strength in them to smile despite their tears. They found sweet, treasured memories in the midst of their pain.

“This was her favorite stuffed animal when she was five.” Caitlin sniffed and held up an old, tattered stuffed animal in the shape of a bunny.

“Mr. Snuggles,” Cisco took it and held it in his hands, looking at it with a certain fondness, mixed with nostalgia, and regret, and pain. “She took it everywhere with her.”

“And then one time she lost it at a Target.”

“We had to search for it in every aisle.” Cisco recalled the memory with a sad smile. “Even some of the employees helped look for it.”

“We found it in the toy section,” Caitlin said. “Next to the Legos.”

Caitlin set the stuffed animal in a box.

“Oh, it’s the old cd player.” Cisco picked it up and dusted off the top. “She’d put cds in here and we’d listen to music and have dance parties to old songs.”

“I remember that.” The memory made Caitlin smile. “I used to love watching you two dancing like you didn’t have a care in the world.”

“There was that one time when I convinced you to join us, remember?” Cisco asked. “The three of us, just dancing together, like time didn’t exist and we were immortal.”

Caitlin nodded. “She was adorable, dancing as a toddler.”

“She was.”

Cisco set the cd player in a box.

“Look at this,” Caitlin held up a pink frilly dress and a matching toy wand. “She used to wear this around the house and say she wanted to be a princess when she grew up.”

“She must’ve been about five then,” Cisco rubbed the dress’s scratchy material in between his fingers. “She wanted to be everything. A princess, a chef, a ballerina, a wizard.”

“Remember when she wanted to go to space?”

Cisco nodded. “We always told her the same thing.”

“You can be anything you want to be.” Caitlin said. “As long as you set your mind to it.”

“When she got her job as a CSI, she made us the proudest parents in the multiverse.” Cisco smiled, thinking about the day he got an excited phone call from Lia telling him about the big news.

“Honey, we were already the proudest parents in the multiverse.”

“That is true.”

Caitlin set the dress in a box.

With each item, a new memory. Each happy memory came with a bittersweet aftertaste, each sad memory came with a twang of regret. But no matter what, they knew they weren’t alone.

Cisco grabbed Caitlin’s hand. He held it gently, rubbing her palm with his thumb comfortingly. He met her tear-stained eyes with a look of compassion, understanding, empathy.

“Hey, I know this is hard.” Cisco said. “It’s going to be hard. This isn’t something we can recover from easily. But… it’s going to be okay. Because we have each other.”

More tears streamed from the corners of Caitlin’s eyes. They followed the same path down her cheeks that her other tears did. She had been crying so much that they formed a visible trail down the sides of her face, but she didn’t care. The warmth in Cisco’s eyes was enough to remind her of how loved she was.

“We’re going to get through this, together.” Cisco wrapped his arms around Caitlin and pressed a kiss to her wet cheek. “One bit at a time. We’ll take things slow. And, with time, life will get better. I promise. I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way.”

“Thank you, Cisco.”

It took them a long time to recover from that loss. But life moves on. And, eventually, they healed. They counted on the other, and they provided the support that their partner needed. With time, they learned how to enjoy life again.

After all, it’s what Lia would have wanted.

#killervibeweek19 #killervibeweek #killervibe #lia nelson #lia ramon #cisco ramon #caitlin snow #nora west allen

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kachinnate · 5 years

Text

these are a few of my faaavorite fics ✨

not that anyone asked for my opinion BUT these are a couple of my… fav deh fics of all time!* they’re all linked to ao3 and i think i have all the authors tagged that i know of that has a tumblr so

*i made this list especially for fics that aren’t, like.. as well known as some of the Popular Fandom Fics, partially bc everyone’s already read them and knows how awesome they are and partially bc otherwise this list would be ten pages long hehe,,, also sorry if you’re seeing this twice, i had to repost bc the links were all broken ??

throwing under a readmore bc this is a chunky boy!!!!! keep in mind that these aren’t in any particular order:

in the in-between - chchchchcherrybomb, vinegar-and-glitter (x) [tree bros] – Connor’s turning 27. Evan’s sitting the bar exam. Over and over again. – itsa timeloop au!! i’m not sure if this is a common au or not, but i’ve never read anything else like this before, and ohhhh my god. each chapter is a switch-off from connor’s pov to evan’s pov, and i assume the authors each wrote for one character (?), but oh my god their writing works so well together?? they both have distinct styles and ways of writing but it flows together perfectly,, without spoiling anything, ev and connor’s dynamic in this universe is a lot different to anything else i’ve personally read before, partially because they’re quite a bit older here than in canon (which, while is obviously portrayed, they still are easily recognizable as the characters they are in the musical), and partially because it strays away from the common ‘they’re both misfits/not doing great, but connor is worse for wear and evan has to save him’, which i think is rlly nice.. (also, like, never have i ever considered that evan would want to be a lawyer, but after reading this fic not only am i sold on it but i’m convinced 100% that him being a lawyer could genuinely be fuckin canon) (also also, the evan characterization in this? hands down my favorite out of any fic i’ve ever read tbh) the world building is really incredible too - like, i don’t even want to consider this one a fuckin fic bro because it’s like highkey just this incredible novel?? it also has a completed sequel called it’s always been you (x) that i haven’t finished that takes place after the events of this fic, and so far?? also fucking incredible 15/10 i definitely recommend

lapse - cecropia / @wildflowermonet (x) [tree bros] – “For what it’s worth,” Connor says casually, “I don’t think you should die tonight.” – welcome to another installment of ‘kayla read this and immediately couldn’t think about anything else for a solid consecutive 12 hours’!! evan and connor have really wonderful characterizations in this one too - i’m pretty sure i’ve elaborated on it before but literally my favorite thing is when people actually write evan as more than an anxious kid, and omg this author did that perfectly asfjkdsg - you can see the subtle Growth as he gets more comfortable with connor and jared (and all the other deh characters too bc this fic has a lovely fOUND FAMILY FINISH AT THE END EEE) and it’s just. aaaah. *heart eyes emoji*. it’s set in their senior year, and they form an unsteady friendship and learn to lean on each other and figure out the whole ‘having friends’ thing, midway through evan realizes he’s a-pinin’, it’s just. Great. this fic is relatively new too i think so u def def def should go give it a read and give the author some love!!!!!!!!!!!

to have a friend - demistories / @transanabeth (x) [tree bros] – Pretend to be friends with Connor Murphy, who yells at people and skips class to smoke and pushes people and threw a printer in the second grade, for twenty dollars a week.

Evan closes his hand around the bill and then stuffs it into his pocket.

“I-I’ll do it.” – ok this is one of, if not, the first fic i’ve ever read coming into the fandom, so it of course has a rlly special place in my heart!! it’s a classic ‘fake dating au’, also with switching povs between chapters. connor offers evan 20$ a week to be his fake friend, almost follows through with the events of the musical but doesn’t, finds out about evan’s own attempt, and they just sorta… cope together. it’s a lot of second guessing bc neither of them knows if the other considers the other a friend or not, and ofc when the fake dating part comes in that gets amplified by 10 asdfghj. honestly i think it’s a cooler approach to the fake dating au troupe (the chapter titles are increments of 20$, which honestly is equally cruel as is creative) and is so!! heartwrenching!!! it’s been a while since i’ve read it but i’m pretty sure that i bawled at the twist so >’D

the only thing is that this fic isn’t finished and there isn’t an intention for it to be finished from what i know of(?) - the author included a brief synopsis of the ending to tie loose ends and give a sort of closure to the fic, but that absolutely doesn’t take away from how freaking incredibly written it is and doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a read anyway !! i kept up with it while it was a WIP and honestly every time i got the email notification that it updated i dropped everything to fuckin read that shit 😤😤 when i think of deh fics, this is honestly just one of the first that comes to mind for me just bc it was one of the first ones i’ve read, and it just… was so good that i still think about it months after i read the last chapter safkjasf

no comfort in the truth - @nothingunrealistic (x) [kleinsen] – Like everyone in the world, Evan has the last words his soulmate will ever say to him on his skin.

Evan hears a lot of last words during his senior year. – okay if this were an accurate list i’d literally have every drabble soph has ever written down on here but that is entirely beside the point

literally knowing beforehand that this is a kleinsen fic and then reading the summary, u kno this shit is going to be painful ,, honestly this style is one of my fave fic formats (especially when it comes to writing in the canon deh universe) because like ,, it’s simplistic but works really well as a story-telling method?? not everything has to be perfectly strung together and every day doesn’t have to be written out for it to still convey the same like.. impact as a super long fic would, and honestly writing it in like flashes or snippets makes the build up that much more anticipating? bc again when u write within the events of the musical it’s not like u don’t know what’s going to happen,, u can focus less on worldbuilding bc hey, it’s already done for u, and instead write more indepthly about the topic of the soulmate au!! but uhhh REGARDLESS soph is literally the kleinsen matriarch in my eyes, they always write evan and jared w/ Perfect characterization and dynamics and just Ah! this one is angsty, but it has a v nice and hopeful ending, and i *clutches heart* love,,,

nowhere else i’d rather be: nosecoffee / @nose-coffee (x) [tree bros] – A fake dating au where they’re next door neighbours, Evan bakes, and Connor’s already a little in love with Evan anyway – this one is a series - the first fic kinda Establishes stuff and the second one gets into the whole fake dating thing!! they live in apartments next to each other, evan bakes for connor, they go campin with connor’s family, it’s just….. rlly sweet and i love it

also, it contains this hilarious bit that i haven’t been able to forget about despite finding this fic months ago:

do me a favour - can your heart rate rise a little? - nosecoffee / @nose-coffee (x) [treebros]

an au where the hansen family owns an arcade….. honestly what more can i say?? it’s slowburn and treebros and i p much love everything that nosecoffee has written ever so this is no exception obviously

jared and connor vs. the mortifying ordeal of being known - caswell @techconsigliere , puglebug @puglebug (x) [kleinphy] – Jared is admitted to group therapy following the divorce of his mother from his asshole father. What he doesn’t anticipate is that Connor would be there, too. – THE KLEINPHY CONTENT WE ALL DESERVE BEING PROVIDED TO US BY CJ AND EZRA!!! it’s a one-shot with just enough slowburn to keep you 👀 , jared is working through some stuff and after some fumbling connor is w/ him to help him thru it, the end of this fic has my heart aching the entire way through every time i read it and it’s just… *chefs kiss* (i even drew some fanart for it if you’re ever so inclined)

forever going with the flow, but you’re friction - lizzy_stardust_18 @delightfullyanachronistic (x) [band trees] – Zoe knew that of all of the things that her mother had expected from the evening, Evan Hansen showing up at her door with his arms full of her drunken daughter was not one of them. – big bet i wasn’t getting through this list without including fiona’s fics, are u crazy??? BUT this one is set a year (?) after the events of canon, zoe’s at a party and evan finds her, and they talk about stuff n’ things - there’s also a sweet moment in there between zoe and cynthia (in which cynthia is Rightfully Skeptical of evan) which is v wholesome and Refreshing because honestly the murphy parents never get written in a good light and fiona does it ~ perfectly ~. lotsa metaphors. evan and zoe are big dorks. evan is a taylor swift stan. what isn’t there to love

i can’t call you a stranger, but i can’t call you up - lizzy_stardust_18 - @delightfullyanachronistic (x) [kleinsen] – Jared fiddled his thumbs. He wished more than anything that he could move to a different seat, but causing a scene at Heidi Hansen’s wedding reception wasn’t exactly high on his to-do list. Besides, he was an adult. He had a job. He ate ramen only three times a week. He could handle a simple social interaction like a real human being. He was lucky that no one else had found their seats at his table yet. It gave him time to gather his wits about him. He drummed his fingers on the table nervously. – jared and evan are forced to talk after the events of canon via sitting next to each other at heidi’s wedding. they argue a bunch bc jared is still rightfully hurt, they discuss TCP and jared’s treatment of evan over the past couple years, they fight it out and then we learn some jared backstory and then there are tears and it ends on a fluffy + hopeful note!! good shit !!!!

#dear evan hansen #deh #tree bros #treebros #kleinsen #kleinphy #band trees #bandtrees #convan #conman #evan hansen #jared kleinman #zoe murphy #connor murphy #fic recs #long post #longpost #sorry if u get a notif for this twice i'm a Stupid Boy

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years

Note

[1/?] I waited for when u posted all of For Science and I just finished binge reading it all and I Love Ur Writing So Much. I literally cannot begin to explain how much I love it, I feel like anything I say will just sound redundant/cliché and no words can express how much I enjoyed this story but I genuinely mean everything: I loved all the character development and relationship developments for starters!!! obviously OC and Jungkook’s but also how OC and Tae and Hobi and Yoori became so tight-

when Jungkook left!!!! because at first it was kinda like she was all about Jungkook and I almost felt bad for Tae and Hobi when she saw them as kinda secondary? but I love how that changed by the end! and I like how Yoori and the nerd squad are closer now, not too polite and more comfortable around each other! even tho I was kinda annoyed at Yoori when she implied Hobi and Tae were kinda inferior to her and OC before but they’re all close now so that’s all that matters I guess lol!! I also really love how there were no boring or slow parts to ur writing, like no unnecessary waffling or description or anything. not to say that u didn’t describe enough or something, it was the perfect amount! I just don’t like when narratives drag and I’m like okay what next lol imo ur writing was just?? Great??? like I can’t fault it now that I’m thinking back? I really love all the relationships with each other and how u resolved everything in a way that doesn’t seem forced or awkward or cliché, like even when OC found out Hobi liked her it could’ve been hella awkward after and he could’ve just went off and they wouldn’t be friends anymore but I love the direction u took this story in! it was so refreshing to me and entertaining to read! u steered thru the whole story well, especially when Jungkook came back. I was pissed at him, rightfully so in OC’s shoes lol, but I like how long FS 7 was and I liked how the slowburn really showed the development and rebuilding of their relationship. if it happened too quickly I was gonna slap myself (OC) for that, and also think ‘wtf we didnt come this far just to jump back into his arms’. literally as I was reading FS 7 I honestly thought to myself “make jungkook work for it” LMAO AND OC DID so I’m satisfied lol!! also the reconciliation scenes with Hobi, Tae and Yoori didn’t seem cliché or dramatic to me if u were worried about that (going off on ur warnings of that chapter) it felt like the right--FUCK MY INTERNET it said part 6 of this long love message to u couldn’t be sent and I can’t entirely remember what I got up to saying 😩 I think I was saying -it wasn’t too cliché or awkward (I cant remember what now but pls know I mean it, I just have bad memory and I’m writing this in real time so minutes have passed between each ask oKaY. I’m just gonna move on) also I love how everything ended with JK and OC’s relationship, but I also love the nerd squad’s relationship and I’m gonna miss their whole group dynamic 😩 sorry i’ve sent so many asks already but as much as I love a good romance, I really love ensemble fics so much (is that even a thing? do u know what I mean? lol) but only when it’s done right! aka when OC has a good/close relationship with all of them/them with each other, and I feel like u portrayed that really well so I love it!!! I love all the characters’ individual personalities too and despite being different in some aspects, they’re still friends. ALSO (I remembered some of what I originally said before that ask was lost) I love their banter and how they have friday game nights and how they’re all so comfortable with each other!!!! okay I’ll stop gushing about the nerd squad now lol hsjfjdj. I can’t remember exactly how I came across ur account, I think I prob saw someone rec FS and I decided to follow and wait until all the parts were out to read (I’m sorry I just love binge reading It’s Who I Am) but I’m so glad I came across u and this story and that I read it :’) lately I feel like I’ve kinda been in a reading slump, if I can even call it that? lol I just feel like anything I read these days doesn’t make me Feel Things anymore so I’m always trying to find good stuff to read but FS made me Feel Things!!! not even just Smutty Things but I genuinely enjoyed the plot, characters, setting, tropes, development, relationships, everything in this fic!!! so thank u for sharing ur wonderful writing with us :^) also I’m sorry this is so long I just properly wanted to convey how much I enjoyed this story thru this love letter for u 💌 I still feel like I prob couldve said things better but I suck with words, take me as I am!!! p.s. pls dont think FS is a flop, idk why there arent as many notes for FS 7 but judging by the notes of previous parts (which is A Lot wowie), maybe it takes some time? FS is definitely one of my fave stories I’ve read tho, i hope u know that 💖 (forget notes, remember MY LOVE!!!)

I really can’t get over this I want to save it and frame it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out and please don’t apologize for the length, there’s more to appreciate. I’m really grateful for this type of feedback you have no idea. I’m super glad you enjoyed it and that it didn’t fall into your slump. Its a huge goal of mine to be able to make things that people can come back to and continue to enjoy even if they know the plot already. I promise I’m not obsessing and torturing myself over the notes, its more like I’m obsessing over whether or not this thing that I put out into the tumblr universe will have any effect you know? This ask is super reaffirming because I feel like ppl forget sometimes that even if someone isn’t making their first fic, each time you post something is a little piece of something you worked on and putting that out doesn’t get that much easier for me. LONG story short thank you for this and I love you!! I’ve been avoiding my ask box because of finals but im looking through it now and theres so much kindness. thank you so much

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xylianna · 6 years

Note

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I have had a lot of rum today and will totally star for star with you....of course I will probably be sober by the time you get to this... MORNING RUM IT IS!!!!

48 STARS? SERIOUSLY DO YOU WANT MY LIFE STORY? CAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET IT.

1. my first pet was a rabbit named Carmel

2. my first cat was a yellow tabby named Orlith (Moreta’s queen dragon in the Dragonriders of Pern books)

3. my other two cats have been named Wolf and Lynx. Wolf is my old lady cat, 18 years old. Lynx I had to rehome when I moved a few years ago. Orlith died years ago, the poor thing.

4. I learned how to hunt because I live in an area that is THE THING and also animals are tasty. I spent hours tracking a damn pheasant on my first hunt but because of my shitty eyesight/lack of depth perception, couldn’t see it, so my dad shot it. He still credited me with the kill since I tracked it.

5. I like to go fishing, if by fishing you mean “sit on the boat and read a book because its pretty on the water”

6. I like spreadsheets a little too much. Google Sheets means I can have them EVERYWHERE.

7. I love to sing, and its the one thing I’m actually a bit arrogant about. At least, I feel like its arrogance. Maybe its just being truthful? I have a really good voice. I trained it for a lot of years. it’s one of the few things I can do that almost always lifts my mood.

8. I hadn’t seen any live concerts in ages, and then in 2016 I saw Final Fantasy A New World and the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses

9. I have next to no confidence in anything outside my singing and it still boggles my mind that people like my writing. this isn’t me fishing for compliments, I’m honestly astounded. I read other people’s stuff and I’m blown away that those same people like mine, when theirs is just so fucking amazing.

10. sometimes I go anywhere between a day or a week without contacting anybody just to see if anyone bothers to talk to me if I don’t reach out first. the results usually make me more sad than before I tried. and make me question most my ‘friendships’.

11. I’ve been single for two years and I kinda hate it, but don’t expect it to change anytime soon. part of the reason is i’m picky AF. most of the reason is I have little to no social life.

12. I’m pagan and I am deeply spiritual but I generally don’t discuss it at all if I’m not asked by a close friend, because to me spirituality and religion is DEEPLY personal

13. I have never slept with a woman who hasn’t decided afterwards that she’s straight. this is probably why I’ve dated so few women. while logically I know there’s no correlation between my performance and their declarations (especially as my more recent ex-gf is dating another woman now), its still a pretty big ego blow.

14. Sorry I just answering this to sing for like 10 minutes. Currently trying to type while singing “Missing” by Evanescence. ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!

15. i hate going to movies alone and will actively buy people tickets just so I don’t have to

16. I hate cooking for just me when my son isn’t home, so instead I tend to batch cook and freeze a bunch to enable lazy dinners down the road

17. I’m a really good cook :D

18. Tomorrow I play D&D! I play once a month with a small group of family and friends. This is the third group I’ve had for the same campaign and I don’t think I’ll ever see the end at this rate, haha.

19. I also play WoW. In WoW, I play Xylianna, the Paladin. In D&D I play a Fighter. I like swords okay?

20. work sucked this week but I have rum now :D

21. I had cancer when I was 17. In 2 months will be my 18th anniversary of being cancer free. I celebrate that more than my birthday, or my wedding anniversary before I was divorced. Nothing gets you to pare the bullshit out of your life faster than getting that diagnosis, let me tell you.

22. HOW THE FUCK AM I ONLY ON NUMBER 22 WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME *gets a third drink*

23. In my local kink community, my ‘scene name’ is one of my first OTP’s.

24. If 23 didn’t warn you, I’m going to talk about BDSM now. I’m a switch insofar as I’ll top without any real hint of dominance since I LOATHE the responsibility of being a dom. Iggy in Discretion/What Would Happen is totally based off me, because I vastly prefer to give over control since my entire fucking life is me running everything. I run my dept at work, I run my house, I run my gaming group, I run my karaoke group. Sometimes I just need a break okay?

25. also gimme dat pain

26. and I’ll give you some, too, because I enjoy service topping

27. Consent is Sexy, okay? I go out of my way to portray consent being constantly re-established in my bdsm fics particularly, because its never okay to assume that just because I was allowed to do X last week, its okay to do X this week. I mean obviously in an established relationship, it would be different, but even then CONSENT AND COMMUNCATION, SO FUCKING SEXY

28. I wish I could play a string instrument. I bought a guitar and tried to learn it but it turns out I am not good at teaching myself something so different from what I already know, haha. Chords are confusing to me for some reason. Or I made them more confusing than they had to be.

29. I am embarrassed to admit how many years its been since I picked up one of my clarinets. I wish I could find a local ensemble to join, but, that would mean reaching out and asking and aahhhhhh *hides*

30. I would also totally lose my shit if I could find a choral group to join that wasn’t attached to a Christian church. no offense at all to christian churches, but I feel a bit dishonest joining a group connected to a faith I don’t share, you know?

31. when I go to xmas eve church with my mom at her church, my brother-in-law’s mother does indeed make me join choir for that night, and its great!

32. i’m intensely lonely most of the time but I pretend i’m not because indulging in the feeling won’t change anything. and tbh part of it is my fault for isolating myself.

33. I have chronic severe depressive disorder coupled with a side of anxiety. So I feel like shit, and I worry about it, LOL

34. Prior to November 2017 NaNoWriMo, I hadn’t written in over 10 years, save for a couple 300ish word short stories.

35. part of me is terrified certain family members will find my AO3/Tumblr. I actually talked to my psychologist about this fear at my last appointment. We agreed that if they go to so much trouble as to find my internet alter ego, they deserve to be offended by my work. Fuck ‘em.

36. just once I wish I could feel the support I give my family given to me. I have one supportive family member and its not even blood. my brother-in-law is my best friend, for real. my Warder (if you follow WoT), bonded in balefire. I wish the rest of my family would care about me, but I’m working on accepting they just won’t.

37. I love learning languages for the same reason I love studying music, and I love writing - my goal is to communicate as effectively as possible, make people really understand, and the more avenues open to me the better

38. when I get a little drunk, I forget English and speak a mashup of Spanish, German, and Japanese

39. I have to go to karaoke tomorrow night for the first time since I was sexually harassed at karaoke last October, and I’m kinda terrified

40. I get very down on myself when I realize in my writing I do no world building and very little serious plotting. I basically write angst, or love, or smut. I’m trying to be okay with that, but I admit I feel like I don’t do a good enough job.

41. wow way to kill the mood, Xy. honestly, if anyone is still reading this, you get a fucking medal. i’m not that interesting, and I probably should have stopped writing this long ago.

42. I really wish life would give me a fucking break, you know? but that’s not how it works. you gotta make your own breaks, and I’m too gods-damned tired to try at present. Maybe I’ll try later this year.

43. I wish I lived alone. Ironic, since I’m lonely 99% of the time. But having a roommate isn’t the same as having companionship and sometimes I just want to not listen to someone else’s blaring TV or have someone else walk thru the house while I’m writing at the table or have someone comment on my singing (even if its complimentary)

44. WOW I GOT DEPRESSED LETS LIGHTEN THINGS UP SHALL WE? I love apple scented shit.

45. I own at least 10 pairs of kitty ears, and two tails. In fact I am wearing ears to karaoke tomorrow. Meow.

46. I want the relationship I write for Gladnis in my Discretion series BUT I’M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH FAM

47. my son is 8 yrs old and he’s honestly the best thing i’ve done with my life, and he is the thing I am most proud of, even topping my joy in beating cancer

48. in 2016 I lost 120 pounds. in 2017 i gained 30 back. in 2018… we’ll see.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HARD I DESERVE MORE RUM NOW OKAY

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simkjrs · 7 years

Text

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye!

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them.

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi: tsukauchi: wh tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk? izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter!

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything...

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions...

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means...

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick...

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see.

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers...

#I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS BEFORE I FINISHED ABORT ABORT ABORT #ok i finished we're all good now.#ask #ask compilation #msa stuff

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