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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 8

Releasing two chapters today in honour of my birthday! I am officially 23 years old. Oh my God, what the fuck? I feel ancient.

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: I started writing this for porn and now? Look at all this plot. Disgusting! Featuring: the Hulk, more Bruce fluff, and DISASTER PARENTS. It's gonna get worse before it gets better y'all.

My beta, @miscmarvelwritings is the Peter to my Tony. Love you 3000, baby.

The beeping startled me awake, the haze of my recent memory made me very unsettled. Last thing I remembered was laying down on the couch and Peter's admission - the little! Guy! Was! Spider-Man! Holy! Shit!

Beeping intensified and I heard grumbling and shuffling coming from the side of me. A warm sensation engulfed my right hand and I smiled. I'd recognize that hand anywhere. Bruce was in the room with me so I was definitely in a safe place.

Me eyelids parted meeting a set of oddly fluorescent green eyes. Holy fuck, that was no Bruce, it was... But how? His form was slouched in an uncomfortable position over the bed, crease marks on his face. It was Bruce's body, Bruce's face but who held control over it - he was no Bruce Banner.

"No worry, Princess is safe," The voice that left his mouth was much more primal, with an unmistakable growl underneath. He watched me, alert, scanning my face with unblinking eyes. "Bruce asleep now. I keep watch."

I swallowed the unease. "Hi, Hulk, and thank you," Squeezing his hand very, very gently. "Nice to meet you, by the way."

He grinned, all teeth and sharp canines. He looked like a wolf. The look was so out of place on usually gentle Bruce's face that I had to study it, had to memorize that stark difference between Banner and his alter ego. The smile faltered slightly as he closed his eyes. "Bruce waking up now. See you soon." And with that, his head fell onto his arm, dead weight and limp.

His hair was tousled, a curly mess, and he wore the same shirt I remembered him in. Upon closer inspection it still bore minor stains of what I assumed was my blood. It was probably the only time I would get to look at him, really look at Bruce without the fear of being caught, being weird or getting misinterpreted. He was really handsome, the five o'clock shadow silver on his usually neatly shaved chin, his jawline was firm and... He really was beautiful.

His eyes slowly blinked open, the usual colour brown. Noticing me awake, Bruce immediately perked up. "Morning. How do you feel?" He asked, voice croaky and sleep-drunk.

It sent shivers down my spine. "I'm good, nothing feels amiss besides the left part of my face. That's kind of puffy," I admitted, failing to describe the full-and-pulling sensation I was currently experiencing. "I met the Hulk. He was nice." I added as an afterthought. Thought he should know.

Bruce frowned. "He does that sometimes. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I think, I think I'd like to meet him properly one day," I admitted my biggest curiosity. After all, I've already met real aliens.

Bruce seemed speechless for a moment. "Are you sure?" He stuttered. "He's...a bit much," He parroted my previous comment about my house, much to my amusement. "You sure it's not the concussion talking?" Banner squinted at the monitor at my bedside, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm very sure," I squeezed the hand I was still holding in quiet affirmation. "Besides, he promised to see me soon."

"Oh did he," Bruce muttered darkly but I could see his face brighten nonetheless. "Right, so I'm going to call in Strange and we can see about unhooking you from all these things," Bruce gestured to the various wires and monitors.

True to his word, Strange waltzed in no more than ten minutes after Bruce called him. Seeing me, the usually stoic man began snickering, unsuccessfully attempting to hide his amusement by swirling his cape in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion. I was not impressed, Bruce was not impressed and neither was Tony who walked in shortly after all the wires were removed from my persona.

"So... Is someone going to tell me why is Dumbledore so joyful this fine morning?" I crossed my arms under my boobs.

"You don't remember?" Tony snorted at my negative head shake. "Before you passed out, you demanded cake and said Wizard here looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. To be fair, I see the resemblance, but you...." Tony paused to snicker multiple times. "You managed to butcher up the guy's name multiple times, I swear to Thor, what came out of your mouth was..." The engineer laughed, making a broad and vague gesture with his hands. "What did she say? Bubble-butt Orgy-pants?" He asked Bruce who was as unsuccessful at hiding his laughter as Strange himself. Even the wizard's cape was bouncing.

I wheezed, suddenly coming to a realization. It wasn't a concussion induced lucid dream, I had actually said that. "It's really bold of you to assume I can pronounce and remember his name while I'm sober," I said. "I just call him British-guy Funny-name." Tony cackled at that, giving me a hearty thumbs up and ungracefully plopping down at the foot of my hospital bed.

"How do you feel, Buttercup?" He was looking earnestly at me now, his sparkling brown eyes big and round and worried.

I had to distract myself to keep from literally face-planting into his lap then and there. "Good, actually." Tony nodded happily, and I raised my finger. "But for the record, Doctor Strange..." I addressed the man who turned to me expectantly. "Please don't get pissed off, I have a request..." He nodded warily. "Don't shave? I mean, now that I can clearly see the resemblance between him and you... Please don't shave off the beard or you'll look like an angry aardvark."

The men in the room gaped, most of all, Stephen - his face was somewhere between resigned suffering and surprised disbelief.

"Angry... Aardvark..." Tony fuckin' WHEEZED. "Fuck a duck..." The engineer clutched at his stomach in an obnoxious fit of laughter, Bruce was snorting too. "The fuck is an aardvark?" The lone word seemed to have a magical effect on Tony, increasing his laughter with every time he repeated it out loud.

"Duly noted," Stephen nodded with as much seriousness as he could before cracking a reluctant smile. "I see that the healing technology Tony developed has worked well, if judging only by your sense of humour returning. Good," With that, he waved his hands about and the puffy feeling from my face disappeared. "I took some liberties and added a healing spell with Loki's help." Seeing my raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "Loki was deeply touched by your kind gesture towards his teammate and offered his help. You should be good to resume your daily activities by nightfall although I recommend you take it easy. And call your mother, she stopped by and instructed me to request you communicate at the first comfortable opportunity."

The mild pity and disdain on Strange's face told me that he was the one who had actually spoken with her. She must've been especially icy and bitter considering I had interrupted her daily routine with getting punched in the face. How inconvenient.

With that, Stephen left me with a parting pat on the shoulder, taking Tony with him - the engineer managed to squeeze a whole hug out of me before being bodily (magically?) dragged behind Strange. I was really uncomfortable with all the attention I was receiving wearing only a thin hospital gown and I told Bruce exactly that - promptly, Natasha arrived with a bag I recognised as my own, an ostrich Birkin that held a cute, soft cashmere loungewear set, some basic toiletries along with a set of underwear and a pair of slippers.

Evidently, my mother packed this bag. Never in a thousand years I would wear a $1200 worth of leisure clothing at a hospital. Even Natasha whistled when I first examined the bag's contents.

"Yeah, yeah, my mother's a bit much," I said, immediately cringing at how obnoxious that sounded.

"No shit," Natasha rolled her eyes. Something told me she'd met her too.

"Wait 'til you see my dad," I replied in an identical tone, disappearing behind the door to the bathroom. It was all very luxurious, extra and overall very Stark. Friday's voice coming from the ceiling made it known that I was still in the tower, the AI informed me of the date, time, weather and the further instructions to follow Natasha after I was done freshening up.

Showers had never felt so good.

I was greeted by muted cheers and a hefty brunch on the common floor. Lots of hugs, too, even Loki paused his brooding to give me an awkward, albeit very genuine embrace. I whispered a thanks for the spell which made the moody god considerably less moody - in fact, he smiled like a child on Christmas Eve. Suddenly, I felt much less out of place with my disaster self.

The pleasant part was done and I geared up to call my own personal curse.

"Hello, mother, it's kind of you to pick up," I started the usual. I could literally feel the confusion and concern of the people in the room piercing my back. "Sorry for interrupting your meeting. Yes, I am quite well now. No, Josh can keep running your errands, I will stay at Mr. Stark's for the time being. Tomorrow morning, probably, don't wait up. I will, absolutely. Oh, is he? Wow, that's amazing. I'm so happy," I chirped. My face was one of the suffering kind. "Yes, dinner on Friday night. Okay-I mean, yes, I will ask. He's actually right next to me." I paused to turn around and look at Tony, mouthing 'she wants me to invite you for dinner'.

Tony's speed was breaking the laws of physics as he snatched the phone right out of my hand. "Hello, this is Tony Stark speaking. You know, maybe you should come over to Stark tower. Yes, the whole family. Thanks, bye." He promptly pressed the end call button right as mother had started her goodbye-have a nice day-live long and prosper speech. "How the fuck do you put up with that woman?" He started at me with a mix of concerned incredulousity.

"She's an acquired taste," I groaned. "You just wait. My dad. I..." I literally had no words to describe the upcoming disaster. Tony had no idea what he just had condemned all of the tower's inhabitants to. "Why am I like this? Why are they like this?" I raised my head up to the ceiling as if the AI living in it could give me all the solutions to my life's problems.

"Get some rest, Princess," Bruce was kind enough to spare me any more misery as his warm, broad hand steered me towards the elevator by the small of my back.

As he dutifully fluffed my pillows and handed me a glass of water and my smartphone, I unashamedly basked in the soft attention I was receiving from the older man. I still felt somewhat groggy; best case, I'll fall right asleep and if the dreamland avoids me, I would browse tik tok and Instagram until something else would strike my fancy. The gentle murmur of him describing the latest lab incident I missed out on and the hands combing softly through my hair were the best sleep aides I could have ever asked for.

Bruce is too precious for this world. Too pure.

Friday rolled in with the force of a pissed off rhinoceros. Dad had flown in on a Thursday afternoon, stopping by the house to drop off his suitcase and happily dangle the keys of a brand new Chevrolet Corvette in front of my face before briefly stopping to ruffle my hair, kiss mother on the cheek and drive off into the sunset to "catch up with people at the studio". Jetlag wasn't a word in that man's vocabulary, he probably snorted a line or three as soon as he stepped out of the airport.

I could carry my groceries in the bags under his eyes. He just waved off any of my attempts to get him some rest only showing mild interest when I spoke about my friendship with Tony Stark, absolutely disregarding the rest of the team sans Captain America and the billionaire himself.

I might as well have been in front of a trainwreck, watching it happen second by second. The moment all three of us stepped out of the elevator onto the tidied up common floor, I had the sudden realization of exactly how much we weren't a family.

We were the exact opposite of that.

My mother, tall and slim and perfectly posed in a sleek blue dress with diamonds glittering around her chin, neck and fingers, her obnoxious greed proudly on display. My father, in his early fifties, well-groomed and fit, in his tight designer pants and a plain white t-shirt under a stylish tweed blazer. He looked ridiculous. Only Tony could pull off something like that (I shuddered. Sigmund Freud sends his regards!). And me, little old me, in my $900 jeans, $1500 Gucci sneakers and a mesh crop top I got at Hot Topic. At least, amidst this mess, my eyeliner game was on point.

I smiled sardonically at Steve who came to greet us. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Captain Rogers," My father greeted him with his Hollywood smile.

"Steve," An equally fake and toothy grin came from the superhero as he gallantly greeted my mother and swept me into an unnecessarily tight hug.

Point one, my father smirked. Somewhere in the corner, Wanda made a gagging noise - quietly, of course, I only knew about it because she did her telepathic mumbo-jumbo to make me aware of her stance on this particular matter.

Point two, my mother loudly announced she was vegetarian while simultaneously praising the catering services that Tony used. Clint had enlisted Bucky and Thor to help him cook and now all three were smiling awkwardly as mother spoke about the "incredibly talented immigrant workers".

Point three, dad made it his JOB to brag about my skills and achievements as if he was the one encouraging me to pursue them. It was fair, I suppose, since he paid for it but alas, it sounded a lot less like he was a proud father and more of a "look at what my puppy can do". I had to tip my proverbial hat to Tony and Bruce there, they both began to describe our lab work in such unnecessary detail, using so many long words, even Loki began quietly chipping in with totally random, long, difficult words. Confusion was beginning to seep through the eternally cheerful facade that my dad wore.

Or maybe it was the coke and Adderall wearing off. Who knew.

"Peter?" Came the dreaded question from my mother. I shook my head in quiet despair as Peter visibly cringed at my mother's voice.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"That vile boy has been taken care of," I could absolutely see Natasha saying the same thing and the only difference laid in the fact that I knew my mother wouldn't actually kill a person. She would hire someone to do it for her. "It's really unfortunate my daughter got in the middle of that sort of situation."

Wow. My mother just called Peter a coward. Wow. Tony briefly went cross-eyed with anger.

"Baby, why you bein' so quiet?" Dad, the mitigator that he was, intervened before a real shit storm could start. Which meant, as usual, putting me on the spotlight. It was me between a rock and a hard place: nothing, and I repeat - nothing I ever did or have done was good enough for both of my parents at the same time.

"I'm fine, dad, just chillin'," I replied, pushing my food around on my plate. He hated it when I ate too much, which was really anything more than two glasses of water and a salad. Being around models on a strict avocado and coke diet really skewed his sense of normal.

"Nah, baby, you're brooding," His teasing tone could've fooled anybody. Just messing around with a teenager. "Come with me tonight, there's a party, Billie Eilish is going to be singing. Not my style but you like that weird goth shit, might cheer you up a lil'," Dad joked and everybody around the table smiled happily at last. Everyone except Tony that was - his press-tour smile was still glued to his face. I hated it. It was unnatural.

"No, dad, you go have your old people fun," I rolled my eyes.

"Jesus Christ," I heard mother mutter on my other side but she kept quiet beyond that.

"C'mon, don't be a spoilsport," Dad insisted.

"Actually, we have a project planned up in the lab..." Tony trailed off, attracting confused looks from his teammates and friends. Pete looked at me in pure envy.

"Alright, alright, dad, I'll go with you, jeez," I mumbled, flushing from the sheer amount of embarrassment flowing through me. Partying with your own father, how sad and pitiful is that?

"I'm very upset at you ditching me," Tony poked a fork in my direction but didn't press the matter further. I avoided the looks of my friend's friends. I avoided the hell out of Bruce who kept making his perfect, round puppy eyes and radiating so much kindness and support I nearly choked on my intermittent sips of water.

"Alright, we will be waiting downstairs with Josh, say your goodbyes," Mother announced as she subtly towed my father towards the elevator. He'd had a whiskey too much and felt particularly chatty much to Tony's displeasure. "Thank you again for your hospitality."

As soon as the doors closed behind my parents, the group of superheroes erupted into a confused debate. I saw Tony blankly staring at the ceiling. Bucky cursing. Thor overly calmly talking with Loki.

Beyond caring about anything, my face flamed as I made a beeline for my dad's latest, untouched glass of whiskey (single malt, neat, double) and downed it in one go. The conversation stopped promptly, people eyeing me with visible concern. Steve was outraged.

"No," I announced, stopping any and all questions, slamming the glass on the table and departing towards the elevator that had made its way back upstairs. "Just no." Were my parting words as the doors closed once again on a startled and disgruntled group of superheroes.

Please check your blog settings before requesting to be added to the taglist. I can't tag some of y'all.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub �� @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @as-i-layhereinyourbed @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01

#party favours #bun writes #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #Stephen Strange x y/n #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #LMFAO BEING A DISASTER RUNS IN THE FAMILY

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afoulkingdomprincess · 4 years

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“To celebrate reaching 150 days of #PandemicPoems, here's Benedict Cumberbatch with a beautiful new reading of John Donne's A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning...”

After reading the poem and analysing the lines, I have realised that this an interesting choice of poem to read...A little information on the poem: John Donne, a 17th-century writer, politician, lawyer, and priest, wrote "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" on the occasion of parting from his wife, Anne More Donne, in 1611. Donne was going on a diplomatic mission to France, leaving his wife behind in England. A "valediction" is a farewell speech.

This poem cautions against grief about separation, and affirms the special, particular love the speaker and his lover share. poem tenderly comforts the speaker's lover (his wife) at their temporary parting, asking that they separate calmly and quietly, without tears or protests.

Here is the detailed analysis of the lines:

Lines 1-4: The beginning of the poem causes some readers difficulty because the first two stanzas consist of a metaphysical conceit, but we do not know that until the second stanza. We should not read the word "as," which begins the poem, to mean "while," although that might be our instinct. Instead, "as" here means "in the way that"; it introduces an extended simile comparing the death of virtuous men to the separation of the two lovers. This first stanza describes how virtuous men die. Because they have led good lives, death does not terrify them, and so they die "mildly," even encouraging their souls to depart their bodies. In fact their death is so quiet that their friends gathered around the deathbed disagree on whether they are still alive and breathing.

Lines 5-6: The speaker now reveals that he is addressing his love, from whom he must separate. The poem itself will prove to be the "Valediction"—the farewell—of the title. He also reveals that he has been using a simile, and that the lovers' separation should resemble the quiet way virtuous men die. This example of metaphysical conceit might seem a bizarre comparison to make—dying men with the separation of lovers—but the key comparison is the quietness of the two events. He might also be suggesting that their separation, though only temporary, will be like a small death to him. Still, he asks his love that they part quietly and "melt" instead of split: the image of melting together suggests they might still be connected in liquified form, an idea the poem returns to later. He also asks her not to indulge in the overdramatic and clichéd anguish of conventional separating lovers.

Lines 7-8: These lines suggest why he wants a quiet separation: the joys the two of them share, both spiritual and sexual, are holy to him. To complain loudly with tears or sighs would be to broadcast their love to those he calls the "laity." Through this metaphor, he suggests that ordinary people resemble "laypeople" who do not understand the holiness and mystery of their love. The speaker thus implies that the two of them are like priests in a "religion of love." Therefore, for her to make loud protests about his departure would be to "profane" the joy of their holy union by revealing it to the uninitiated and unworthy. The wish to be let alone, to be able to love privately, is especially characteristic of Donne. Several other of his poems similarly covet privacy, such as "The Canonization" and "The Sun Rising." This celebration of the private world of two lovers contrasts strongly with the conventions of Renaissance love poetry, in which the lover wishes to broadcast his love to the world.

Lines 9-12: This stanza contrasts dramatic upheavals on earth with those in heaven. Earthquakes cause great destruction and create great wonder and confusion among human beings. In contrast, "trepidation of the spheres," a trembling or vibration of the whole universe, is far more significant in its scope, but also "innocent"—we cannot see or feel it because it is a heavenly event. Donne here uses the old-fashioned Ptolemaic model of the cosmos, in which each planet, the sun, the fixed stars, and a primum mobile, or "prime mover," occupied a crystalline sphere surrounding the earth, at the center. The contrast between heavenly and earthly vibrations anticipates a contrast to be developed in lines 13-20, between earthly lovers directed by sex and lovers who, like them, depend on their spiritual union.

Line 11: In ancient and medieval astronomy, trepidation of the spheres referred to the vibration of the outermost sphere of the Ptolemaic universe, causing each sphere within to move accordingly.

Lines 13-16: The speaker moves from his contrast of earthly with heavenly events to a contrast of earthly love with the experience he and his lover share. In this stanza he develops why earthly lovers cannot endure separation from each other. The "soul" or essence of such ordinary, "sublunary" lovers is "sense": that is, their love is based on the five senses and so consists of sexual attraction. Therefore, when such lovers separate, they remove from each other the very basis of their love, which changes and fades like the moon.

Lines 17-20: The speaker continues to reassure his love by developing the qualities that make the love they share capable of enduring a separation. In contrast with sublunary lovers, their love is not based solely on sensual gratification. In fact, it is a love so pure that even they themselves cannot define it. But because they feel confident in each's feelings for the other, their physical separation—the absence of eyes, lips, and hands—causes them less anxiety.

Lines 21-24: The speaker begins drawing conclusions about the relationship between his soul and his love's. The "therefore" sounds like the conclusion of a logical argument, and he has in fact been attempting to persuade his love not to mourn during his absence. Because they are "inter-assured of the mind," he suggests their closeness by saying their two souls actually have combined to form one soul. When he leaves on his journey, that one soul will not tear in two; instead, it is flexible enough that it will actually expand. He uses gold as a simile to clarify this expansion. Although the preciousness of gold suggests the preciousness of their love, the key property of gold here is its malleability. Gold can be made to expand greatly because it can be hammered into an extraordinarily thin, "airy" sheet. Donne therefore uses a simile that works emotionally, since gold is valuable, but also scientifically, since the malleability of gold corresponds to the flexibility and expansiveness of their love. Their love will not snap but expand, keeping them bound together during their separation.

Lines 25-28: The speaker now admits that he and his love may have two separate souls rather than one. He then develops the connectedness of their two souls in one of Donne's most famous and most ingenious metaphysical conceits, an extended simile in which the speaker compares the lovers' two souls to the feet of a drafting compass. He compares her soul to the compass' "fixed foot" and his to the other foot. Like the compass, their two souls are joined at the top, reminding us that their love is a spiritual union "interassured of the mind."

Lines 29-32: The speaker now develops the compass conceit. Although his love's soul is the fixed foot and his soul will roam in his travels, her soul will continually incline faithfully towards him, since their two souls are joined, and will return to its proper, upright position when his foot of the compass returns home to her. At this point in the poem, Donne engages in a number of puns that suggest the completeness of the love of these two people. Although the speaker has been emphasizing the spiritual purity of their love, his assertion that the compass "grows erect" reminds us that their union is important and satisfying to them sexually as well as spiritually. Line 26, with its earlier description of the "stiff twin compasses," may also hint at the man's erection. The speaker may be indulging in further punning by describing how the compass, when closing, "comes home," a common expression for "reaching the target," which might suggest sexual intercourse.

Lines 33-36: The speaker concludes the conceit—and the poem—by reasserting that his love's fidelity and spiritual firmness will allow him to carry out his journey and return home happily. His running "obliquely" literally describes the angle of the open compass and also suggests the indirect, circuitous route of his journeys. In this final stanza, Donne may have included additional sexual puns to underscore the happy future reunion of the lovers. In the spiritual terms of the compass conceit her firmness enables him to complete his circle, or journey; in sexual terms, his firmness would make her circle just. And in making the speaker "end where I begun," Donne may be suggesting that the speaker will finish his journey by returning to her womb as her lover, just as he originally began his life by leaving his mother's womb. The possibility of Donne's having included these sexual puns shows the richness of his language and the muliplicity of meanings available to readers of his work. It also suggests a vision of human love as healthily integrating both the spiritual and sexual aspects of our nature.

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lokilickedme · 4 years

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THINGS BIG SAID THIS WEEK THAT I WISH MY EARS HAD NEVER HEARD:

I get innuendos now, just so you know.

So what do I do if I have to, like, you know...scratch while I’m around people?

What’s a kink?

I understand that reference in The Incredibles now

What are the odds I’ll get testicular torsion?

Can you get testicular torsion from wanking too much?

I get why Austin Powers is funny now

Heheh...you said hard

Heheh...you said long

Is dad circumcised?

Was Pinocchio’s nose an allusion to erections?

And why was he wearing women’s underwear?

Does Benedict Cumberbatch have a peener or a vageener?

THINGS I SAID THIS WEEK IN RESPONSE TO THINGS BIG SAID:

god help us

WHAT???

I don’t know any saints’ names somebody give me some saints’ names HURRY

Honey I don’t even know what that is

I don’t want to know about any interaction between you and your balls, that’s between...well, you and your balls. Leave me out of it

Take it to your room please, geezus

Sit down kid, I’m about to ruin your life.

Please don’t ever watch Shrek again.

holy mary mother of GOD

Ask your dad.

We should have never left the church.

PLEASE ask your dad.

STEP SENDING HIM BACK TO ME I SENT HIM TO YOU GEEZUS FUCKE

Your guess is as good as mine child

Google it, I guess?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOOGLING

Nobody in this house Googles any more, Google is BANNED

Urban Dictionary is double banned, anyone caught using it is getting returned to the hospital for a refund

Please...just stop talking to me, I beg of you

#13 is the age of enlightenment

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strangelockd · 2 years

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No thoughts…except dirty ones.

#im going down…downstairs #if you know what i mean #heh 😏#benedict cumberbatch #doctor strange #sherlock #because benedict cumberbatch #johnlock #holy mother of benedict cumberbatch

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crystalstar8 · 4 years

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Guys! Guess what????

there’s a novelization of the Devil’s Rain screenplay but it was never published. HOWEVER. Someone leaked it online and I’ll be posting it here on this blog for everyone. So, without further ado, here is it.

“Devil’s Rain”

Jungkook looked to his right, seeing the side profiles of the other club members. Club...It wasn’t a club. It was a cult. Jungkook knew, well, he knew from the very beginning. But this...he wasn’t sure if he could follow through. He wasn’t sure he could back out though, either.

It was a Wednesday, the day Jungkook was approached by his classmate. The guy had always piqued Jungkook’s interest, being tall and thin with dyed hair and an incredibly pretty face, always carrying around a Polaroid. He didn’t even know the guy’s name, there were a lot of people in the lecture hall. But then one day, he approached Jungkook and introduced himself.

“My name is Taehyung,” he said, holding out a hand. It was after class. Students were rushing out of the double doors at the back of the room, ignoring the professor who was yelling about the readings they had to do over Thanksgiving break. Jungkook knew he was among the majority who was definitely not going to be doing the readings over break.

“Jungkook,” he replied, shaking the guy’s hand. Taehyung gave him a cute, boxy smile. For some reason, it made Jungkook uneasy. He ignored that part of himself as he heard Taehyung out.

“I’m a part of this club in the evenings and we need more members for it to keep going,” he said. “I think you’d really like it. It’s really fun.”

Jungkook felt a sinking feeling in his stomach from the moment he got the invite all the way to Friday night, the day of the meeting. Trepidation twisted in his chest as Jungkook followed the handwritten instructions Taehyung had given to him in class on Wednesday. He followed the little map all the way past the water tower and into the woods. He’s never been into these woods alone this late at night. It was dark by now. Luckily, he had thought to bring a flashlight since it was the only light source leading him through the brush. After a while of walking, a noise hit his ears. It was voices, a lot of voices. Jungkook followed the sound until the light of a fire illuminated the woods up ahead. When he finally got to the clearing, he was shocked to see so many people around a massive fire pit, all wearing dark robes. It was creepy, but also kind of cool.

One of the people around the fire broke away and approached Jungkook, removing his hood to reveal a pretty face and dyed hair.

“You made it!” said Taehyung, his cute smile beaming. “Come on, we’ll get you initiated.”

Ignoring the tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that this was a bad idea, Jungkook took Taehyung’s hand and let him lead the way.

Now, weeks later, as Jungkook stood in line, the high priest waiting for him to don his hood and mask, he couldn’t help but feel he had gotten himself into a huge mess. The courtyard they stood in was old, abandoned long ago but reclaimed for the purposes of this cult. Pale pillars rose up all around them, closing in a massive stone platform of cracked tiles. Dry vines wrapped around the pillars and emerged from the cracks in the tiles, lifeless just like the trees peeking between the pillars and arches. A thick autumn fog sat along the ground, heavy and wet, gliding past twigs and pillars and legs. It was beautiful in a goth kind of way, but Jungkook hadn’t thought of it’s beauty for a while. Not since he started participating in the rituals which took place here.

The high priest cleared his throat, his beady eyes boring into Jungkook. Jungkook gulped and pulled his hood up, then placed the white mask over his face.

“The Dark Lord has promised to keep his wrath at bay for another year,” the high priest began. “In return, his merciful holiness demands a sacrifice!”

The man clapped his hands twice, the sound bouncing off the stone around them. Two people emerged from behind him, taking their places on either side of the sacred altar. The altar was a carved slab of stone, thorny vines twisting around the base. One person was a beautiful but terrifying woman with long dark hair and piercing eyes. She was dressed in a long red gown. It was revealing; Jungkook thought that she had to be cold. The fall air was anything but warm. The other person was a grotesque man dressed in similar dark robes as everyone else. Gripped in his outstretched hand were the back feet of a struggling rabbit. It writhed and squeaked in his grasp, but the man paid no mind to it.

The priest clapped his hands again and fire burst from the torches all around the pavilion. He began chanting as the robed man placed the rabbit onto the altar. The woman pulled a black dagger from the folds of her gown. She lifted the dagger high into the air.

Jungkook closed his eyes before she could let the blade drop. He heard the blade cut through flesh then click against the stone. He suppressed his flinch. No matter how many rituals like this one Jungkook has been to, he still couldn’t get used to the sacrifices. They were cruel and the thought of them made his stomach roll. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see the mess on the altar, so he kept them closed as the priest concluded the ritual. When it was all over and the meeting was done, Jungkook finally opened his eyes, keeping them on the ground as he took the mask and hood off.

“I don’t think you should go to that club of yours anymore,” said Benedict Cumberbatch, Jungkook’s father. Jungkook was just coming home from the sacrifice. It was late, nearing one in the morning, and Jungkook wanted nothing more than to shower and go to bed. His father, who was sitting in the living room presumably waiting up for him, had other plans though. “You come home way too late, even on school nights. Your mood has changed too.”

“My mood?” asked Jungkook. He was too tired to argue, but he truly hasn’t noticed a difference in himself.

“You’re always tired and crabby,” said Benedict Cumberbatch.

“I don’t think-”

“You snapped at your mother last week,” Benedict Cumberbatch interrupted. “I’ve never seen you snap at anyone before, let alone your mother. What happened to my mild tempered boy?”

Jungkook hung his head. He remembered the incident. It was the morning after one of their sacrifices. The priest had sacrificed a stray cat that night and the ritual went on until two in the morning. Jungkook was dead tired by the time he got home but he stayed awake throwing up, the image of the cat on the altar burning into his mind. The next morning, he was awoken by his alarm and he dreaded going to class and seeing Taehyung. His mother had grilled him about his declining grades before he left and he had snapped at her. He felt guilty immediately after, but he was already out the door and he hasn’t apologized to her since.

Jungkook thought about telling his dad just then. He wondered if his dad could help him escape the cult. His dad would no doubt help his son if asked. But would he even be able to do anything against this cult? They were dangerous, and the magic they used was real, there was no doubt about that. He decided that the worst thing he could do was endanger his family.

“Sorry dad, I didn’t realize,” said Jungkook. “I’ll stay away from the club for a while and apologize to mom. I never meant to worry you guys.”

“We can’t help but worry, sport,” said Benedict Cumberbatch. “You’re our son.”

Benedict Cumberbatch got up and hugged his son. Jungkook went upstairs and fell into bed, falling asleep almost immediately.

“Hey do you have a minute?” someone called to Jungkook as he packed his backpack after lecture. He glanced up to see a pink haired boy approaching him. It was a small class, not many people took film classes at this university, so he knew the kid’s name. Well, “kid” probably wasn’t the right word. Jungkook knew he was the only freshman here.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. Jimin sat down in the aisle seat, blocking Jungkook from getting out.

“I recognize you,” Jimin said in a quiet voice. By now, the class and professor had cleared out of the room, leaving the two boys alone.

Jungkook knitted his eyebrows and said, “I mean, we’ve been in this class together all semester…”

“No, I mean,” Jimin shook his head and started over. “You’re in the cult. I saw you the other day after the rabbit ritual.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. He stood up from his seat.

“Wait! Please,” said Jimin, his eyes pleading. “I need help. I can’t do it anymore. I need to get out of the cult but I don’t know how. I can tell you want out too. Maybe we can help each other.”

Jungkook thought about it. Jimin could be tricking him. If the cult found out that Jungkook was trying to escape, they might do something like this to trap him. But with one look at Jimin, Jungkook could see the desperation in his eyes. He really did want to get out.

“What do we have to do?” asked Jungkook.

“I’m not sure yet,” said Jimin. “I’m afraid if we just stop going to the meetings, they’ll find us. They know where everyone lives. We’d almost have to run away.”

“But they might do something to our families,” said Jungkook. “And they’ll probably be able to find us if we run.”

“True...maybe we could talk to the priest about leaving,” said Jimin. “If we leave honestly, maybe there won’t be any hard feelings.”

“Do you think he’d actually let us leave?” asked Jungkook.

“I don’t know,” said Jimin. “I really don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll think on it. Here’s my phone number. Call me if you figure something out,” said Jungkook, writing his number down in the corner of a page in his notebook. He tore it out and handed it to Jimin.

“Thank you,” said Jimin.

Benedict Cumberbatch knew that his son lied to him when several weeks passed and nothing changed. Jungkook was still coming home late and his grades were still dropping. Not to mention, he seemed to fall deeper and deeper into his depression. Benedict Cumberbatch decided to take matters into his own hands. He needed to figure out where his son was going every night.

So one day, after Jungkook left the house late at night, Benedict Cumberbatch followed him. He followed his son all the way past the water tower at the edge of town and into the forest. It was already dark, it had been getting darker earlier in the day, and Benedict Cumberbatch struggled to follow his son without making too much noise. Jungkook led him deep into the woods until they reached an old, abandoned stone pavilion. Jungkook went over to a slab of stone that looked like a tomb, sliding the lid over and descending into a dark stairwell. Benedict Cumberbatch waited a few minutes before following. But before he could get to the stone tomb, a force hit the back of his head and his vision went black.

Jungkook took his position in the third row of pews. The ritual tonight was going to take place in the unholy underground church of Satanic mass. It was a very dark, very old church, the pews ancient and carved. Thorny vines twisted around the pillars and dried leaves blew in from the drafty rafters. Fire blazed in the braziers, lighting up the podium at the front of the church. In front of the podium was a massive stone altar. Behind the podium, a stained glass window rose up. The designs depicted a scene of children kneeling before a goat headed, multi-horned Satan. The light of the full moon shined through the window, making Satan’s eyes look as though they were glowing.

A robed figure, smaller than Jungkook, slid into the pew and sat next to him. The figure peeked over at Jungkook from under his hood. It was Jimin. He looked nervous and upset.

“I didn’t call you because I didn’t want my mom listening over the line. But I’m thinking about running away,” said Jimin. “You can come with me. We can change our names and get jobs in another city far away from here…”

“Jimin, we can’t just run away,” said Jungkook. “We have lives here. What about your parents? They’re going to wonder what happened to you.”

“I’m eighteen. I can leave if I want to. I’ll send them a message from wherever we end up,” said Jimin. “I just...I have a feeling the priest is going to try to summon a powerful demon soon and I really don’t want to know what he’s going to sacrifice to make that happen. I also really don’t want to be here if he succeeds.”

“If something like that happens, we’ll just run out of here,” said Jungkook. “It’s okay, there’s no way he’s going to be able to do something like that anyway.”

“Servants of the night! Hear me!” the priest bellowed, his voice echoing throughout the church. The man stood behind the podium. He wore a horned goat headdress, charms and sigils hanging from the horns. “Tonight, we shall feast on the blood of youth! Our merciful dark lord has spoken to me. He has granted me the power to summon a servant of darkness to do our bidding and grant us the gift of youth.”

Many of the members cheered and shouted. Jungkook looked around but he didn’t see Taehyung anywhere.

“We shall need a vessel and a sacrifice,” the priest continued. “A human sacrifice!”

Jungkook felt Jimin tense beside him.

The priest clapped his hands twice and two people emerged from behind him. One was the woman in red. The other was...Taehyung. He had a small smile on his face and a strappy, leather harness over his dark clothes. Several robed figures also emerged from the shadows, carrying a limp man in their arms. As soon as they laid the man onto the altar, Jungkook shot up from his seat, his eyes wide with shock.

“Dad!” he shouted.

“Sit down, boy!” the priest boomed. Benedict Cumberbatch laid still on the stone slab, eyes closed and head lolled to the side. Jungkook hesitantly sat back down, gripping the edge of the pew with white knuckles.

“This man, Benedict Cumberbatch, will act as our vessel,” the priest said. “We must now have a sacrifice. Park Jimin!”

Jimin’s head snapped up to face the priest. His eyes were wide and terrified.

“Please approach the altar,” the priest said. Jimin shook his head and leaned further into Jungkook’s side. The priest clapped his hands once and the robed figures who carried Benedict Cumberbatch to the altar went to Jimin, forcibly lifting him from the pew. Jungkook tried to pull him back but more robed members held him back.

“Jimin!” he shouted. The robed men carried Jimin to the altar, chaining him to the stone right beside Benedict Cumberbatch. Jungkook could hear him whimpering and pleading with the priest to spare him, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. The woman in red snaked her arms over Jimin’s shoulders and chest, pulling his robe off. Taehyung moved his hands from behind his back, revealing the black, sacrificial dagger in his grip. He used the dagger to tear Jimin’s shirt open then began carving an upside down pentagram into his chest. Jimin’s screams echoed throughout the church. Jungkook couldn’t bear to witness this.

“Please! Please don’t hurt him! We can use a different sacrifice!” Jungkook shouted, but no one paid him any mind except the men holding him back.

Once Taehyung was finished carving the pentagram, he stepped back, allowing the priest to approach the altar. He raised his hands and began chanting. Lightning struck outside, flashing through the window. The boom from the thunder shook the entire church. Taehyung handed him the dagger. The man raised the dagger high in the air, still chanting in latin.

The dagger came down and pierced Jimin’s heart.

“No!” Jungkook screamed. Another flash of lightning lit up the room, illuminating Benedict Cumberbatch’s unconscious body. His body continued to glow even after the lightning faded away. Jungkook watched in horror as his father’s body began to convulse violently on the altar, a red glow emanating from his mouth and eyes. Then he stopped moving all at once, the red glow disappearing. The church went silent. Benedict Cumberbatch sat up slowly and then turned to face the pews. But it was no longer Benedict Cumberbatch. His face and body melted away, revealing a different figure. This one was shorter, with snow white skin and black hair. The man raised his head, revealing a delicate face with coal shadows around his eyes, which were completely black.

“Tell us your name, demon!” the priest shouted.

The demon smiled.

“Suga,” he said. His voice was deep and soft, but it seemed to carry.

The priest knelt down, followed by the woman in red and Taehyung. The rest of the cult members knelt as well. Jungkook was forced to his knees by the men holding onto him. As soon as the demon began speaking, Jungkook took the opportunity to crawl past the pews and sneak over to the secret exit tunnel.

As soon as he was in the clear, he took off running. He made it to the stairs, which he took two at a time to get outside. Once the cool night air hit his face, Jungkook gasped and tried to catch his breath. Every time he blinked, he saw Jimin on the altar, the knife sticking up out of his chest. He couldn’t stop though. He tore the robe from his body and ran into the forest.

The light of the full moon was the only light peaking through the bare branches of the trees. Jungkook stumbled through the woods until he reached a road. The road was only two lanes and wound through the woods, leading Jungkook to a small gas station on the side of the road. It was lit by a single street lamp and a light above the Qwik Mart door. There were two cars parked in front of the small building: a small silver Honda and a rusty red pickup truck. Four figures were leaned up against the brick wall beside the pickup truck, drinking from cans and laughing loudly.

WIth trepidation, Jungkook approached the group, breathing heavily and leaning on the truck once he got there.

“Whoa, dude, you okay?” one of them asked. Jungkook looked up and finally got a good look at the four strangers. They surprisingly weren’t strangers, but people Jungkook recognised from some of his classes. Chelle, a beautiful dark skinned woman stood beside a tall man with dark hair and glasses; RM was what he went by, from his biology class. Beside him was a strikingly handsome man, Jin, RM’s lab partner in biology. The last boy was almost famous in town...or rather, infamous. Jimmy K, the captain of the university football team and the hero of many adventure filled stories told around the small town.

All four of them wore leather jackets covered in patches, white t-shirts underneath and jeans, cuffed at the bottom.

“I need help,” said Jungkook. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey man, take a deep breath,” said Jimmy K, moving forward to put his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders. Jungkook sucked in a few deep breaths. “Now tell me what happened.”

“It’s a cult, I escaped but they might be after me,” Jungkook rambled. “They kidnapped my dad and he got possessed by a demon. They k-killed…”

Jungkook’s voice caught on a sob as Jimin’s screams rang through his mind.

“They killed Jimin,” he said.

“Okay I don’t know who that is but this sounds serious,” said Jimmy K. “Let’s head to my house and we’ll figure out a plan of action.”

The four of them guided Jungkook into the backseat of the pickup truck, then they piled in behind him.

Jimmy K drove them down out of the woods and into town. Jungkook’s eyes felt heavy as he leaned against the window. He finally felt the car stop and he opened his eyes. The car was parked in the driveway of a disconnected garage, a modest ranch off to the side. They exited the pickup and Jimmy K led the way into the garage through the side door. When he flicked the lights on, Jungkook stared with wide eyes at the sight before him.

Records covered the walls behind a pool table off to one side of the garage. A couch sat against the back wall, three guitars leaned up against the armrest. Next to that was a drum set, partially taken apart. The other side of the garage held a black 1952 Mustang.

“Is that a 1952 Mustang?” asked Jungkook.

“Yeah, it’s my dad’s,” said Jimmy K. “He bought it new when him and my mom got married. He said if I could fix the engine, he’d let me have it.”

“Have you fixed it yet?” asked Jungkook.

“Nah, I haven’t had time,” he said.

“Hey Jimmy K, where’s our cassettes?” Jin asked from the corner of the garage where he was rummaging through some boxes.

“Up on the shelf,” Jimmy K said as he sat down on the couch. Jungkook sat down beside him. Chelle and RM sat beside Jungkook. “So tell us about this cult.”

To the soundtrack of Nothin’ but Pure Funk, Jungkook spent the next hour and a half telling them all about how he got into the cult, the sacrifices, trying to escape and poor, poor Jimin. The five of them stayed up throughout the night, making plans to take down this evil cult.

“The rain shall come and bring horror upon you.”

The voice was deeper and smoother than anything Father Borgnine had ever heard before. It spoke directly into his mind, as if he were being possessed.

“No! Please, we did as you asked! What went wrong?” Father Borgnine asked.

“A member of your council has been led astray,” Satan rumbled. “He wishes to leave.”

“No, i-it couldn’t be! We are loyal only to you my lord!”

“You have failed me.”

“There must be something I can do to appease you my lord!”

“Perhaps there is something. But if you fail me again, the rain will come…”

Priest Borgnine fell to his knees as the voice faded away, the heavy rumble and pressure leaving the room. He sighed into the silence, unsure of what to do. He thought there was only one traitor among them, Jimin, who he had taken care of in the last ritual. How had he not recognized Jungkook’s traitorous ways?

“Jungkook is still out there, plotting ways to take you down,” a whisper found his ear. Priest Borgnine turned and leapt to his feet. Hobi stood there, hands behind his back, red tinted aviators sitting on his nose, and a smirk across his face.

“You,” Priest Borgnine growled. “I thought I-”

“Banished me?” Hobi finished. “I played along with your cute ritual for a while, but when you summoned my brother here, I just had to come back and say ‘hi’.”

“Brother?” Priest Borgnine whispered.

“You know who he’s talking about,” a deep, smooth voice said from behind him, startling him and making him turn around. Suga, the demon inhabiting Benedict Cumberbatch’s body, stood there. Priest Borgnine didn’t even hear him approach. “You have us here, you might as well use us.”

“Would you like us to pay little Jungkookie a visit for you?” Hobi asked.

Priest Borgnine pulled himself together and remembered the real problem at hand. “Yes. He must be plotting ways to take us down as we speak.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him for you,” Hobi cooed.

Before he could even respond, Priest Borgnine looked around but the demon brothers were nowhere to be seen.

Jimmy K, with the help of his friends, spent all of the next day researching Satanic cults and making a plan of action. He learned that most Satanic cults were just regular people who were goth or edgy or just wanted to have fun. They were mostly harmless. But this particular cult was just plain evil.

He decided to scout it out first, figure out the entrances and exits to the church and when the priest came and went. So Jimmy K and his friends donned their matching Wildcat jackets and headed out on their bikes.

The rumble of the engines could be heard miles down the road, that is, if there were anyone down this road besides at the gas station. But even as they passed the small Qwik Mart with two pumps, they saw that there was only one car in the lot. They kept driving. Jimmy K, Chelle, RM, and Jin relished the feeling of the wind on their faces while they drove, knowing that whatever happened, at least they had this moment together. They knew that what they were getting into was dangerous, but in order to save Jungkook, Benedict Cumberbatch, hell, even the whole town, they needed to do this,

Just as they passed the water tower, Jimmy K held up a hand as he slowed to a stop at the side of the road. His friends came to a stop behind him. It was barely visible, but there was a trail leading into the forest. The group pulled their bikes over and hid them in the brush, taking the trail into the woods. The trail led them deep into the forest, but eventually they came to an abandoned stone pavilion. It was deserted, but it looked just like the one Jungkook had described. They spotted the secret entrance tomb at the other end, which they had been warned against entering.

“This is it," said Chelle. “I know he said not to go down but how else are we gonna figure out what the priest is up to?”

“Maybe we go down and just check it out real fast,” said RM. “Sneakily.”

“Right. Sneakily. We won’t even get caught,” said Jin.

So the four friends sneakily sneaked into the underground unholy church.

Meanwhile, Jungkook went back to his empty house and tried to get some rest. But every time he closed his eyes, images of poor Jimin flashed through his mind. He couldn’t help but think of possible ways to exorcise his father. He also wondered if Jimmy K and his gang was going to be alright.

“Jimmy K and his friends might be gobbled up by now,” a silky smooth, deep voice said, making Jungkook’s eyes fly open and dart around the room.

“Yeah, I heard the priest is a cannibal,” said another voice, this one gravelly and almost sunny.

“Who’s there?” Jungkook called into his empty room.

“Who, us? We’re just some friends who figured you’d want to see how your dad’s doing,” the gravelly voice purred. Benedict Cumberbatch materialized at the other end of the room, his hands behind his back and a smirk on his face.

“He’s doing great, by the way,” Benedict Cumberbatch said. His face then melted away, revealing the face of the demon Jungkook saw back in the church. Pale white skin, smoky eyes and wavy black hair. The man that stood at the foot of the bed was beautiful, but Jungkook felt nothing but unadulterated fear being in his presence. Suga, he remembered. Another man materialized behind this man. This one wore red tinted sunglasses and a toothy smile across his face.

“Thanks for letting us have Jimin’s soul, by the way,” said the man with the red sunglasses. The one with the gravelly voice. “It was you who turned him into a traitor right? Wanting to escape the club? Well, either way, his soul was delicious. We really owe you.”

“Perhaps there’s something you want,” said Suga. “We can give it to you.”

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jimin’s death wasn’t his fault, was it? But now that he thought about it, it made sense. Jimin was going to run away with him. Jungkook encouraged his escape. He must not have been as discreet about it as he thought, because somehow, the priest found out.

“I want my father back,” said Jungkook, tears blurring his sight.

“Sure, but someone will have to replace him,” Suga said.

“You’ll also have to do something for us,” said the man in the sunglasses.

“What? But I thought you guys owed me!” Jungkook said, blinking away his tears.

“Oh, Kookie, don’t you know how this works?” The red sunglasses man said, tilting his head and cooing at Jungkook. “We still need payment for our services.”

Jungkook felt angry tears spill over his cheeks. He wiped at them and glared at the two ethereal men.

“What do you want me to do?” he gritted out.

“Daddy is angry with Priest Borgnine’s club and wants to send the rain after them all,” said the sunglasses man. “You can be a good boy and provide a human sacrifice to hold off Daddy’s anger.”

“And then you’ll free my father?” asked Jungkook.

“Of course Kookie,” Suga cooed, sitting down on the bed beside him and wiping away his tears with a thumb. “Your father misses you. He’s calling for you right now. You can free him if you do this for your club.”

“C-can I think about it?” asked Jungkook.

“Sure,” said Suga. He offered a tiny smile and deceptively soft eyes. His thumb was still gently brushing Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook pushed away when he realized that he was leaning into the gentle touch. These men were dangerous, he needed to remember that.

“Take all the time that you need Kookie,” said the red sunglasses man. “We’ll always be here.”

“How do I find you if I need you,” said Jungkook.

“You know my name,” said Suga.

“And my name is Hobi,” said the sunglasses man. “Write our names anywhere and we’ll come to you.”

Jungkook nodded and looked away. He blinked away any stray tears but when he opened his eyes, the two men were gone. He sighed and fell back into his bed. He didn’t want to kill another innocent person for this club. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it, even if it was for his father. But by providing a sacrifice, he’d be saving the club. Did they deserve saving though? No, he couldn’t think like this. Humans weren’t tokens to be traded around. They didn’t hold different values. Was there even a way to avoid more deaths?

Jungkook was interrupted from his thoughts when a tiny pebble hit his window. He went to his window and looked down at the lawn. Jimmy K was down there, waving up at him.

“Can I come up?” he asked, gesturing towards the tree whose branches reached across his bedroom window. Jungkook nodded, moving away from the window so Jimmy K wouldn’t see him wiping at his face. Jimmy K wasted no time scaling the tree and climbing through the window. Once he was in, he closed the window and sat on the ground.

“Where are your friends?” asked Jungkook.

“They went home to get some rest. I figured you’d want to know how the mission went though,” he said. Jungkook nodded. “Well, we found the church. It was really creepy. We didn’t run into anyone, so we were able to successfully scout the area out. We also found a room that looked like the priest’s office. He had a bunch of rabbits and other animals in cages down there. A lot of creepy talismans and stuff. We also found this.”

Jimmy K reached into his jacket and pulled out a leather bound journal.

“What is that?” asked Jungkook.

Jimmy K smiled and said, “his diary.”

“I thought you said you guys wouldn’t steal anything,” said Jungkook, taking the notebook and flipping through the pages. They were filled with almost illegible handwriting and strange drawings.

“But this was too useful to leave behind. We can find out about his future sinister plans with this,” said Jimmy K. “And I read something from it. Apparently, Satan is angry with the priest for having traitors in his cult, so he’s going to send a rain that’s somehow going to kill everyone in the club.”

Jungkook wondered if he should tell Jimmy K about the conversation he just had with the two demons. He finally decided against it, not wanting to involve anyone else in his mess.

“I heard,” said Jungkook. “That’ll include me too. I took the blood oath.”

“Is there a way to reverse it?” asked Jimmy K.

“Yes. I’ll have to be baptized in a catholic church. But the catholic priest has to strike my name out of the unholy book of names himself afterwards,” said Jungkook. “Getting the book of names is going to be tough.”

“We’ll figure it out,” said Jimmy K. “If we can get you out of this cult, then the rain won’t hurt you and you won’t have anything left to worry about.”

“What about my father?” Jungkook asked.

“I think we’ll cross that bridge when we reach it,” said Jimmy K. “It wouldn’t be my first exorcism.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows at that. Jimmy smirked.

“Anyway, my uncle is a priest,” said Jimmy K. “He can help us. I never believed in the stuff myself, but anything to get you out safely.”

Late the next day, Jimmy K gathered his gang, along with Jungkook, to sneak into the underground unholy church. Jungkook was wearing a blessed rain poncho, a hand-me-down from Jimmy K’s uncle, just in case the rain turned dangerous.

It should have been an easy night, no rituals or visits from the priest. The plan was to get in, get the unholy book of names and get out fast.

So at the strike of midnight, Jimmy K, RM, Jin, Chelle, and Jungkook met at the water tower at the edge of town. The early winter air was frigid and paired with the light, icy mist, it was absolutely miserable. But this might have been their only chance, so they braved the weather and trekked into the forest.

They pushed through the woods, their coats and rain ponchos keeping most of the rain off of them and their flashlights lit the way. Jungkook hated this, trudging through the mud in the dark, shivering against the cold and dodging twigs and logs that he could barely see. But he couldn’t give up. This was for his father. For Jimin. For all the other sorry saps who got themselves tangled up this evil cult.

And it was an evil cult, Jungkook could see that now. They called themselves Satanists but they weren’t. They were corrupt and it was time that their tirade ended.

The gang made it to the clearing in the woods, the stone pavilion. As quietly as they could, they opened the secret passageway and went down into the underground unholy church.

“Let’s split up,” said Jimmy K. “We’ll find it faster. What does it look like?”

“It’s big, bound in human skin,” said Jungkook. “It’s filled with signatures, all written in blood.”

Chelle cringed and RM shivered.

“That sounds like a health hazard,” said Jin.

“Alright, let’s go then,” said Jimmy K. The five of them split up and began searching. The others started looking in and around the priest’s office, but Jungkook knew it wasn’t there. That krusty old man was too paranoid to keep it in such an obvious place. So instead, Jungkook paced the halls and walked between pews looking for anything; loose floorboards, suspicious bricks in the wall, oddly placed urns.

But just as he was checking for a trapdoor under a rug, a hand came around and clamped over his mouth, muffling his surprised shout.

“You’re gonna regret this little stunt, brother,” Taehyung whispered into his ear. Something hit the back of Jungkook’s head and his world went black.

When Jungkook opened his eyes, it took him a moment to figure out where he was. He was in a dimly lit room, the light of the fire in the braziers the only light source. His arms were bound above his head, which he groggily tried to move. The clink of metal told him that he was chained up. The thought of that cleared his head a bit. He glanced around again, this time noticing Jimmy K, Chelle, RM, and Jin also chained up along the wall with him. Jimmy K was naked with only a loin cloth covering him, revealing his sturdy oiled thighs. He was struggling in his restraints.

“Behold! The perfect sacrifice!” Priest Borgnine’s voice boomed throughout the room. He entered the room, followed by Taehyung and the woman in red. “We’re saved!”

“A bit hasty, don’t you think?” another voice asked, seemingly coming from nowhere. But Jungkook knew who the voice belonged to. The demon with the red sunglasses. Hobi. He appeared behind Priest Borgnine, smiling at Jungkook. Suga appeared on the priest’s other side, humming a sound of agreement.

“Shush,” Taehyung said to Hobi, a finger to his lips and his eyebrows drawn. “We are saved. Jimmy K will save us.”

Hobi just smiled. Priest Borgnine clapped his hands twice and said, “Bring the sacrifice forth and we shall begin the ritual!”

Two hooded cult members unchained Jimmy K and dragged him across the room, kicking and struggling. They chained him to the stone altar.

“No, Jimmy!” Chelle shouted.

“Jimmy!” RM yelled.

“Silence!” Priest Borgnine bellowed. Taehyung and the woman in red approached the altar. They circled Jimmy K like sharks. Grinning, evil, incredibly sexy sharks. The woman’s dress was made of sheer, billowing red fabric, leaving nothing to the imagination. Taehyung wore a strappy leather harness over his clothes, which were also sheer and billowing. Jungkook couldn’t help but stare at them. They looked hot, but they were deadly.

The woman in red pulled an obsidian knife from the folds of her dress.

“I command this soul to be purified by fire and water!” Priest Borgnine shouted. The woman in red climbed up onto the altar and over Jimmy K’s body until she was straddling him, looking down at him with a glint in her eyes. She lifted the knife and began carving into his chest. He threw his head back and screamed, his voice echoing off of the cavernous stone walls.

“Jimmy!!!” his friends shouted. Jungkook struggled against his restraints. He couldn’t watch this happen again. Not again.

“Let him go!” Jungkook yelled. “Please, take me instead! I’m the one who caused you all this trouble in the first place. Take me!”

“Shhhhh,” Suga hushed Jungkook as he got close, a hand carding through his hair. “You precious boy, please don’t yell.”

Jungkook shook his head away from Suga’s hand, still glaring at the priest who ignored him.

Once the woman was done carving the pentagram into Jimmy K’s chest, Taehyung took her spot upon Jimmy’s sturdy oiled thighs. He gazed down at Jimmy K, his lips curling into a smirk. Taehyung reached into his shirt and produced a small burlap doll. It was faceless and fit in the palm of his big hands. The woman in red set down a bronze bowl on the altar beside Jimmy K, which Taehyung placed the doll into. The cult members started chanting.

“Ad ligandum eos pariter eos coram me, Ad ligandum eos pariter eos coram me, Ad ligandum eos pariter eos coram me!” they chanted. The woman in red, who was standing behind Jimmy K’s head, grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, leaving his neck exposed and glistening with sweat. She handed Taehyung the obsidian dagger, which he used to slice a tiny sliver down the column of Jimmy’s throat. A droplet of blood oozed from the slit, which Taehyung swiped with his thumb. He then let the drop of blood drip onto the doll in the bronze bowl. As soon as the blood hit the doll, it burst into flames. Jimmy K screamed and writhed as if he were on fire himself. Priest Borgnine was shouting something, but his speech was drowned out by the screams.

“Now, we seal it with the holy waters of forgetfulness,” said Priest Borgnine, raising a bowl above his head. He handed the bowl to the woman in red, who leaned over Jimmy with it. Taehyung scooped some water out of the bowl and dribbled it over Jimmy K’s face. He flinched and blinked the water out of his eyes. Taehyung dribbled more water over him, wetting his already sweaty hair.

The ground rumbled, shaking debris from the rafters. In the middle of the empty floor, the ground cracked. The crack opened wider, flames licking the rim of the pit that was slowly forming.

“Now…” the priest said. “Throw him into the pit, so that the prince of the abyss may have his way with this worthy soul.”

Taehyung and the woman in red unchained Jimmy K and pulled him over to the pit. He was still struggling but it was weaker than before. As soon as they got to the edge of the pit, Jimmy K ripped his arms from their grasps and pushed Taehyung away from him. Taehyung stumbled and fell backwards, right into the pit. He screamed but was quickly consumed by the flames. The woman in red screamed and stumbled away from the pit, her hands over her face.

Jimmy K tried to run to his friends who were still chained to the wall, but several cult members stopped him.

Thunder crashed outside, illuminating the church. The ground rumbled again and a booming voice bellowed from the pit.

“You dare send me an uncleansed soul!?”

“No my lord! It-it was an accident! He was the wrong one!” Priest Borgnine said, falling to his knees in front of the pit. Thunder crashed again, this time shattering the stained glass window above the altar. Rain began pouring down, blowing into the church.

“No! No, please! I promise we will fix everything! Please!” Priest Borgnine begged. But his pleas went unnoticed. The rain came down in sheets, soaking everyone in the church to the bone. Jimmy struggled against the cult members, but as soon as the rain hit them, they began screaming. Jimmy K got out of their hold and stood up, watching in horror as the skin seemed to melt from their bodies. Fleshy goo dripped from their hoods, their flesh sliding off of them like melted butter. Jimmy K turned away from the horror and ran to his friends, snagging the ring of keys from Priest Borgnine’s belt on his way. He unchained all of them and they all began making their way out of the church.

As they walked past the pit, something grabbed Jungkook’s ankle and he fell, his head and shoulders hanging over the pit. He could feel the heat on the back of his neck as he struggled against his captor.

“You won’t get away with this!” Priest Borgnine growled as he pressed Jungkook closer to the edge.

“Let go of me!” Jungkook yelled. The priest pushed him further over the edge, a hand gripping his face, the other one keeping Jungkook’s hands away from him. A wooden chair broke over the priest’s back and he tumbled over Jungkook into the pit, almost dragging him along. Jungkook looked up and saw Jimmy K standing over him, holding out a hand. Jungkook grabbed his hand and let Jimmy K haul him to his feet. Once they were up, they fled the building. RM held an unconscious but unmelted Suga over his shoulder. They ran up the stairs, leaving the wails of the melting cult members behind them. Once they were outside in the pavilion, RM laid Suga down on the ground. The rain was still coming down hard. Jungkook huddled further into his blessed rain poncho so the rain wouldn’t hit him. Suga’s skin began melting off, but it didn’t slide off in fleshy goops. As it melted, it burned away with billowing black smoke until all of his skin was gone, revealing Benedict Cumberbatch.

Benedict Cumberbatch groaned and tried to sit up.

“Dad!” Jungkook shouted as he rushed to his father, hugging him tight. Benedict Cumberbatch hugged his son back.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” said Benedict Cumberbatch. “I was awake in there the whole time, but I couldn’t do anything.”

Jungkook pulled away to look at his father, his hands still on his dad’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry dad,” he said. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this. It was my mess and I ruined everything.”

“It’s okay son,” said Benedict Cumberbatch. “It’s okay. We’re safe now, and that’s all that matters.”

Jungkook hugged his father again, and as they sat in the stone pavilion, letting the rain pour down on them, all of them knew that they were finally safe from the evil cult.

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nowitsdarkfic · 4 years

Text

meet the blogger/the fic writer

general:

name: Hannah

nickname(s): nirvhannah, Chris, alisonchains

hometown: Ventura (southwest of downtown LA, on the way to Santa Barbara)

age: twenty-six

gender: female

myer-briggs: ENFP

sun sign: Aries

moon sign: Aquarius

sexuality: who knows

religion: agnostic

appearance:

height: 5′7″

hair: dark brown with blonde and reddish streaks

eyes: solid brown

weight: 228 (I’m a big girl)

favorites:

color: purple

food: too much to choose from—really I’m better off saying what I don’t like

family member: my parents and my grandparents

actor: Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, Edward Norton, Benedict Cumberbatch, Johnny Depp (fight me), David Spade, Idris Elba

actress: Brittany Murphy, Sharon Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Uma Thurman, Charlize Theron, Gilda Radnor, Scarlett Johansson

beverage: coffee

country/countries: France, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Georgia, Mongolia, South Korea, Haiti, the Ivory Coast

city/cities: Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, New Orleans, New York City, Santa Fe, Helsinki, Auckland

book: The Portrait of Dorian Grey, Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, Interview with a Vampire, Blindness, the Harry Potter books, the Great Gatsby, the Hobbit

movie: Erin Brockovich, Midnight in Paris, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Pulp Fiction, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Blazing Saddles, The Goonies

show: Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the City, Nip/Tuck, House, Sherlock, Doctor Who, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Beavis and Butthead, South Park, Ed Edd n’ Eddy (just Cartoon Network, really), Portlandia

music: (ha) Soundgarden, Nirvana, Chris Cornell, Audioslave, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, The Doors, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Joey Belladonna, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Mad Season, Stone Temple Pilots, Velvet Revolver, Mother Love Bone, Truly, Screaming Trees, Nine Inch Nails, Hole, Garbage, Rihanna, Avril Lavigne, Demi Lovato, Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, Mark Lanegan, Marilyn Manson, Type O Negative, Green Day, Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Pink Floyd, The Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jane's Addiction, My Chemical Romance, The Cure, Oasis, Blur, Tool, Korn, Deftones, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Bullet for My Valentine, Avenged Sevenfold, In This Moment, Opeth

app: Sketchbook

scent: my perfume which is legit called “a little sexy”; i’m not sure how to describe it other than “soapy”, like I just took a shower

holiday: Halloween

season: springtime

dog breed: Chinese crested (’cause my best friend was one 🐾🐾)

vs:

strawberry vs blueberry: blueberry (although strawberries are so luscious)

coke vs Pepsi: ehhhh, can’t stand either

grape vs cherry: cherry

day vs night: day

cats vs dogs: both

Batman vs Superman: Batman

movies vs TV: movies

hockey vs football: hockey

fries vs onion rings: fries

likes: art, earth science, biology, books, cats and dogs, horses, reptiles, grunge, thrash metal, boys, erotica, pin-up style, 70s/dark 80s aesthetic, graffiti art, psychedelia, the Goth subculture, sci-fi, steampunk, things considered “taboo”, baseball, field hockey, tennis, cycling, Formula 1, hiking, the ocean, road trips, pastries, pasta, my mom’s baking, my grandpa’s cooking, trying on new clothes

10 random facts:

I speak with a stutter (it’s not as bad as it used to be when I was little but I still have it and I’m still kind of insecure about it)

Refer back to my weighing over 200 pounds: I don’t even look it, and it’s kind of a trip to see women weigh less than me who are freaking huge. I’m as big as I am because the other alternative was literally starving to death: I almost became an anorexic when I was 13, and it came to a head when I was 19 and wouldn’t stop losing weight from depression. So as part of my recovery, I reconciled my relationship with food, and I just started eating. I’m trying to get up to 230 and tbh, I wouldn’t mind climbing up to 240.

It’s funny because I feel like such a rebel liking Joey as much as I do. The latest thing is to like fat boys and “dad bods”, and even taking it further and getting like almost morbid about it--when I was writing Have Your Cake I often lurked in the feedism tags on here to grasp the idea of the community; when I visit them now, the latest thing is to be like “this lifestyle is totally gonna kill you but you’re sooo hot so keep it up!”. This almost feels akin to when Audrey Hepburn came on the beauty scene with her thin elegance, the reaction to all of the full figured woman: he’s a slim, lush, gorgeous man who needs a lot more love (”raw beauty if I ever did see it” as Mr. Lang put it).

I’ve always wanted to get inked but I never know what to ink myself with, or where to put it for that matter.

The one time I ever cut my hair, like had it cut short, was 20 years ago in the first grade. The longest it’s ever been was down to the halfway point of my thigh when I was... 15? Right now it’s down around my butt.

Recovering cutter: I started in 2006 after my grandpa passed and then I stopped; did it again after my parents split in 2011, and again after Chris passed; I’ve been clean since August 22, 2017, three months following his death.

Chris was a fan of my art. It’s true! My little cartoons never would’ve become the entities they are now without him.

My cartoons have been labelled everything from “grunge” to “metal” to (recently) “emo”. I’m actually fine with just any label you throw at them: just don’t call them anime because that’s not technically correct (anime is animation; manga is printed works, and even that’s bit of a stretch)--my writing meanwhile has been simply labelled “unusual”

I’ve always been a fic writer, but I never actually wrote-wrote a fanfic until I was a freshman in high school. I never went online with a fic until 2013 and then I pretty much stopped it for a few years to focus on school and preserving my mental health until earlier this year with Have Your Cake and Eat It.

Fuuuuuuuck I love food. Yeah, when I say you’re better off asking me what I don’t like I mean it. I will eat just about anything (i’m actually surprised I’m not fat tbh). I’m as much a lady of the flesh as I am a lady of intellect.

#meet the blogger #meet the author #fanfic writing #nirvhannahcornell #heavy metal fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #text

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theabominableblogger · 5 years

Text

My Reaction to “Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle”

Bet you didn’t see this one coming, huh?

Ohh I am ready.

The snakeskin over the logo though!

CATE BLANCHETT IS DOING THE INTRO?!?

OK, I can see where Netflix might have stepped in. Some of the CG doesn’t look as... cinematic as expected.

*gasps when Shere Khan enters the scene*

*jaw drops when Bagheera stumbles upon baby Mowgli for the first time*

Oh shit, he picked him up like right after Mowgli’s parents died! Dang!

Stock baby sounds!

This music is gorgeous and I’m like 3 minutes in now.

I already love the feel to this already. I mean, so far, it’s following some similar beats to the Disney movie but it feels fresh and authentic.

*gasps when Tabaqui charges in*

The animation on Tabaqui is awesome.

Even the script feels different and I like it.

Baloo!

*gasps when Shere Khan invades the council*

Oh my gosh, the eye movements Shere Khan does are totally Benedict Cumberbatch

“If you take on me... you take on the pack.” Holy shit you guys.

“The day you miss your kill, the man-cub’s blood will run down my chin.” HOly shit.

Wait, this was the intro?!? Holy crap!

So... stand outs already for the animals are Akela, Bagheera, Tabaqui, and Shere Khan.

“We look it in the eye so that the soul doesn’t depart alone.” *softly* Hoooooo.....

Oh my God, did he [Mowgli] just eat a bug?

*sighs in relief when the scorpion crawls off Mowgli’s face*

Oh my gosh, that landscape is gorgeous

*smiles when Mowgli starts playing with Bhoot*

Oh my gosh, who plays the older brother?

I really like the relationship established with Mowgli and the other wolves.

*gasps when Baloo slaps one of the cubs for not paying attention*

“But I’ve never had one of my cubs fail.” Lemme guess, Mowgli’s gonna fail in the practice run, isn’t he?

God, don’t follow the freaking monkey! That is literally low hanging fruit!

Aaw, he [the baby monkey] looks cute.

Oh my gosh, now that I see Baloo’s teeth when he talks, I can’t stop seeing them.

One thing I like about Andy Serkis whenever he does motion capture, there’s a lot of attention to his eyes and mouth. You can especially see it in the wrinkles around his eyes and the way the lines around his mouth crinkle too.

*mouths a cuss word when Mowgli is trapped underwater watching Shere Khan drink*

*sighs in relief when Shere Khan leaves*

Yeah no, he [Mowgli] should be dead. He is freaking surrounded by SPIKES. It was a TIGER TRAP.

*is left silent when the elephant rescues Mowgli*

Aren’t the elephants considered gods in the jungle? Like all the animals have to avert their eyes whenever they pass or something?

Another detail that I like is that there’s always a hint of audio from the man village whenever anyone is not focused on events strictly related to the pack or the jungle.

Also, can we talk about how soft this Bagheera is toward Mowgli?

Mowgli... what are we doing?

*gasps when Tabaqui enters the camp right in front of Mowgli*

MOWGLI YOU BETTER FREAKING RUN

Holy shit, why are you talking to him [Tabaqui]?!?

OK, that scene between those two was actually pretty good. It’s like, the main protagonist should not be interacting with the villain’s lackey as casual as this, but it helps as part of the plot and it’s not laughed off.

I’m gonna have to look up the rest of the cast list for this because it is supremely good.

God, Mowgli’s gonna fail the Running, isn’t he?

So is Bhoot the runt of the litter?

Holy crap this whole scene is intense.

MOWGLI GET BACK DOWN-

*immediately deflates when Bagheera catches Mowgli right before the finish line*

I am heartbroken. Guys. I am heartbroken.

“He targeted me. He knows I’m the weakest.” Guys...

*finally takes a breath* Oh my God... guys, I was about ready to cry.

*gasps when the Monkey people take Mowgli in front of Bhoot*

WHY ARE YOU [Bagheera and Baloo] FIGHTING?!?

GUYS, STOP FIGHTING!

“Mowgli’s been taken by the Monkey people!” Holy crap, does that mean Baloo and Bagheera are gonna go get Kaa to help them out? Like in the book?

*winces when the Monkeys ram Mowgli’s head into a rock and knock him out*

What the...

*freezes when Shere Khan roars in the background*

Guys, this movie is actually pretty scary. Not gonna lie.

*mouths along with Shere Khan when he says “My, my, how you’ve grown.”*

*winces when Shere Khan marks Mowgli*

Wait, do the Monkey people actually serve under Shere Khan in this version?

*gasps when Bagheera gets dragged under by the monkeys*

KAA!

Holy shit, this music [when Kaa chases away Shere Khan and the monkeys]

So how does the pack view Kaa? I know Baloo said earlier that you wanted to avoid her at all costs, but.. that’s Baloo.

Guys, I love Bhoot. Protect him at all costs.

“Why do always want to be around me, Bhoot?” DON’T DO THIS TO ME

“It’s something your mother tells you to make you feel better because you came out wrong!” Oh my God...

Rohan Chand [the actor who plays Mowgli] is so good in this. Round of applause. I think I prefer him over the Disney version.

Oh my gosh, that little squint Kaa does is absolutely Cate Blanchett

*gasps when Akela misses catching his prey*

OHHH MY GOD THE MORPHING OF THE FACES

*is silent when Shere Khan confronts Akela about missing his kill*

Holy shit, WE ARE DOWNRIGHT KILLING OTHER PACK MEMBERS

*internally screams when Mowgli makes eye contact with Shere Khan*

*Mowgli grabs a fiery branch* WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?

“If I [Mowgli] ever see you [Shere Khan] here again, I will set your hide ablaze and watch you burn alive!” HOLY SHIT

PUT OUT THE FIRE

“Leave.” What?

Holy crap, we’re halfway through the movie? And we’re now going to the man village?

*gasps when the tiger hunter knocks out Mowgli*

Y’know what? I kind of think it is a shame that Warner Bros decided not to release it in theaters. This is a fantastic movie so far but it’s understandably NOT Disney so I could see why that would turn people away.

Sudden change in music...

Bagheera!

God, I love Mowgli and Bagheera’s relationship in this movie.

“Mowgli, I did not come to rescue you. I’ve come to tell you to stay.” You’re breaking my heart, movie.

YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART, MOVIE.

*is milliseconds away from crying*

“Bagheera... I love you!” *starts to cry a tiny bit*

Stock chicken sounds!

Seriously, who is this hunter dude?

Oh my god, is he [Mowgli] literally eating raw meat?

His [Mowgli’s] hair is so long...

So much orange in the man village!

So how much time has passed since Mowgli came to the man village?

“This is my home now.” WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME MAD

tHAT’S the red dye on his face from Kaa’s vision!

*The village throw chalk around and celebrate* Oh my gosh, this takes me back to the Holi celebrations that they have at my college every year.

Wait, was the hunter the guy who took the elephant’s other tusk? Called it!

Oh my gosh, is Mowgli gonna take the tusk back and return it? Let’s go!

*softly gasps when Mowgli walks by a monkey preserved in a jar*

*has a silent heart attack when Mowgli finds Bhoot’s stuffed head on a stand*

*has to pause the movie in order to get a moment to breath*

MOVIE, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ME CRY?!?

HOLY SHIT, IS HE [Mowgli] GONNA KILL THE HUNTER DUDE?!?

*jaw drops then sighs in relief when Mowgli puts his knife away*

This music here though! Just this soundtrack in general! Here’s my money, take it.

“Khan!” KHAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

“KHAAAAAAAANNNN!!!” *shakes fist*

Of course freaking Tabaqui runs for it

*gasps when an elephant bowls Shere Khan over*

HE [Mowgli] FREAKING SICS THE ELEPHANTS ON HIM?!?

*jaw drops when Mowgli stabs Shere Khan in the side*

*gasps when the hunter accidentally shoots Mowgli in the arm*

GIVE MOWGLI THE KILL, GOD DAMN IT

*jaw drops when the elephant bowls over the hunter*

THEY KILLED AKELA! MOVIE!

Wait, they’re gonna let Shere Khan just freaking walk away?!? MOVIE!!!

MOVIE!!!

Slow motion shot...

Kaa...

Wait, are we not even gonna see Shere Khan’s death? Is he even gonna die in this movie? At least give me that.

*jumps then drops jaw when Mowgli quickly takes out Shere Khan when he’s down*

*The elephant picks up Mowgli* Oh my gosh, I thought he was gonna throw him.

YEET!

This ending just felt rushed. Everything else was so great and then it’s all nice and cleaned up at the end.

NETFLIX WHY?!?

I don’t even like the song they chose for the credits.

Wait, they filmed in South Africa?

#the blogger reacts #mowgli #mowgli legend of the jungle #andy serkis #mowgli spoilers #spoiler tag just in case #netflix

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jlf23tumble · 6 years

Note

You may be hearing things because Harry’s accent has never been northern. It’s quite posh tbh. Very Benedict Cumberbatch like.

HIS ACCENT HAS NEVER BEEN NORTHERN. IT’S QUITE POSH TBH. VERY BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH LIKE is hands down the funniest fucking thing I’ve read all day, and I read a lot of funny things on any given day, so wow, kudos to you. Yeah, the thing I’m hearing is the voice of a boy who speaks VERY slowly with an accent from the northwest of England, an accent that sounds NOTHING like Cumbersnatch, apart from them both being white males who hail from the same island off the coast of France. Here’s me when I saw this “ask” (twice):

…and now here’s the magical journey I went on earlier this afternoon:

1. This anon is either the saltiest, most sarcastic satirist on this entire hellsite or one of the more tragically sheltered people in America, there is no in between.

2. I really need to get to work on applying for Harry’s sainthood application because holy shit, he just ticked one of the boxes (the pope, presumably: “What miracle did this person perform in his lifetime?” Me: “Well, your majesty, he managed to be born and raised in a tiny village outside of Manchester, one of the most ‘northernTM’ cities in all of England, with many of those years spent living directly over a fucking PUB with his borderline working class/middle class family, but get this, he’s never had a northern accent a day in his life! Ikr?? He sounds like the current version of Sherlock Holmes, it’s uncanny (like)!”

3. I had the deepest itch to go dig up the hundreds of detailed articles about One Direction, class, and accents but figured Google could do my dirty work.

4. I had a similar urge to pull video of him mocking his own mother’s attempt at a posh accent plus all his own attempts at it, ALL OF THEM from the past 12 months, but nah, mate, “Dear Google…” that on your own dime.

5. I would strongly advise listening to English accents beyond Ben’s traditional, Received Pronunciation, “I am veddy Briddish, pip pip, look at me, I’m the villain in this American movie, so my accent is soft to help everyone understand me without subtitles.” BTW, it’s the same issue people in Europe have with us.

6. Let’s raise another toast to the girl almighty marketing team at Sony because holy SHIT, did they manage the impossible, the reverse Pygmalion as Kim so wisely remarked. Those blazers and pocket squares really paid off!

#wow people really hate louis don't they?#bunch of rich dads upset that their son's dating below his station

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jigensass · 5 years

Text

Here we are (this is very long so TL;DR this blog is getting archived)

It’s been over a week since I’ve taken a hiatus and a few close people know about what has happened. And I have made a decision in response to an insight meditation retreat I took over the course of this weekend.

I’m going to be dropping roleplaying Stephen and possibly roleplaying altogether.

First, after 5 years of this blog, you’re probably wondering why. Well, I woke up.

Yes, I’m a talented writer and I can weave your fantasies into realities. Yes, I enjoy every single person I have written for. You’re not the problem. My writings are the problem that is hurting my lifestyle and it leads to toxic behavior.

Ever since I decided to go into this hiatus and a few days prior, I’ve been peeling back that I am more sensitive than others to certain situations and at sometimes have the ability to as previously stated, weave fantasies into realities and make them feel as real as possible. This can be problematic when I get in too deep. So much as I have in the past without even realizing, begin to dissociate the line and my own reality and the one I made that I have fallen in love with. The two begin to crossover and I don’t even realize I’m doing it until it’s too late. This had led to multiple people getting hurt and I didn’t even know I was doing it. Why has this been happening for so long and I’m noticing it after 26 years? Well, no one kind of stopped me or I didn’t notice because when I was younger I lived in my own little world. And that own little world became the internet and then the internet started converging with the little world and I didn’t know what to do except the one thing I knew best: make up stories and not even realizing it, they became my own little world. It’s how I coped and got away from the actual reality that I lived in (school, work, family, etc).

Now how did Stephen come in? Well, (holy shit I’ve been in the sphere of Doctor Strange for 7.5 (8 years in the Marvel sphere) years now that’s the longest I’ve stuck to anything). There was a game on Facebook where I heard of him and at the time in 2010, there were only comics and the movie from 2006(7?) (I remember actually SEEING the commercial for the movie and asking ‘how is this guy a superhero he’s a doctor’ oh how my 13-year-old self was foolish).

I fell in love with Stephen’s character for one reason: he had all the powers of a god, yet he was still human. It would take me another 5 years to realize where my path was actually headed with this magic man and the actual man named Benedict Cumberbatch.

Along the way, since this blog was created and many rp threads later, there were many times I felt so absorbed into my work that even though I had an external life with friends and people I knew. It became...a problem. It was obvious when I began to piss off my friends in college for trying to gain this...atmosphere of Stephen Strange and then try to be myself.

But I didn’t know who ‘Crystal’ was for...like ever. Only until after this weekend did I find out this answer (stay tuned).

I kept trying different things, nothing felt good. I didn’t feel like a human being unless I was by myself clacking away at a keyboard and being absorbed with the Sorcerer Supreme who I (for the longest time) considered a reflection of who I was or what I wanted to be (at some point Magnus Bane got thrown into the pot in 2014 so that’s just a lovely stew...). It ate at me for years and I wasn’t even aware during points where I became lost that the parasite was there. The parasite was my power to get lost in worlds I created and then believe the world was still there in reality. And it (probably) hurt many real human beings in the process.

And just recently I yanked that parasite off and threw it away. Realizing that seeing Stephen as a reflection is dangerous and will get me pulled into the looking glass if I don’t stop.

So as of today for the sake of my mental health, this blog is being archived.

I’m not saying it was all bad. I wouldn’t be typing this because of roleplaying with one person in particular who, even though my coworkers were slapping me in the face (metaphorically, of course) and concerned for my life during the nine months of suffering I held at my new job, was AT THE TIME, the only person who could get through to me and wake me up. The reason this journey started because of a very deep wound that was still scarring, but this person was the one to be my guide on the path to just finding what I needed to figure out what the heck was going on.

About a month later after this realization, I joined a sangha and began meditation on a weekly basis or when I could. This (and to this day) practice has unearthed a lot of stuff that I’ve buried so deep that it blew my mind how messed up my childhood was. Why I was so...sarcastic...and had to make a joke to every serious detail...and impulsive...and...determined to get out of this hole. Like a certain....doctor

(No joke when I watched Doctor Strange in theatres in 2016 when this line was said I died laughing because of the tone and manner of how it was said was something I would do. I’m a sassy piece of shit IRL)

Back in late 2016/early 2017 right after I watched this movie, I remember wanting to embrace MCU Stephen with open arms. I felt the pain he was feeling, having to give up his mundane life to become the guardian of the Earth, and I wanted to take him down that journey of suffering, of realizing that he chose for the sake of his hands, provided him with....the power of a god yet he was still human (also I was stunned because he was (I BELIEVE right behind T’Challa) the FIRST Marvel main character to actually DIE on camera. As in no pulse, not coming back dead.

But instead I got female OCs wanting to bang and marry him, and the funk kicked itself right out the door. And this is when I got into experimentation. Demons, Mermen...the list goes on.

This is where it became obvious that Stephen was leaning towards men and less towards women and the relationships were slowly becoming....uninteresting. Either for me or the other person. Around this time this was when the shit hit the fan hard and I had a mental breakdown and contemplated suicide (it wasn’t the first time). Yeah, surprise~. The package gets nastier.

At this point, as many of you know, I was diagnosed with Attention Hyperactive Association Disorder (or ADHD) and I began taking medication which helped, but with the meditation beside it, this was where a nasty load of stuff boiled inside including:

Emotional and some Physical Abuse from my Parents

My mother almost killed me once. She nearly snapped my neck.

Emotional Abuse from Teachers and Peers in School

I was given a nickname that I just passively went with and in the end, I hated it. When I tried to change it, people didn’t listen to me.

I gave my opinion about how I did not enjoy Glee on Facebook. I was shunned by nearly every music department student.

Trust Issues that supported the Anxiety because of said Emotional Abuse (and for a point in my life, pretty sure I had Avoidant Personality Disorder)

I’ve been at the same job for over 2 years now and just last Friday I had to balls to tell someone my life was a dumpster fire.

Depression because I couldn’t hold/meet expectations that I had imagined as being next to perfect standards because of past emotional abuse to be under the impression I could meet nothing less (thus over the years I lowered my expectations, yet nothing changed). Sometimes I had suicidal thoughts and the only reason I didn’t do it was because I thought felt good to suffer

In turn, because I was abused emotionally in a certain manner that I thought that it was okay to do so when I couldn’t get a grounding of having things in my control as well because of my conditioning or just try to be noticed. At the time, it was the only way I knew how to put the board in my favor. It was when I did this and my boss wrote me up that I just...became silent. People wondered why I didn’t talk and then when I did, it was (and sometimes still is) in the most passive tone of observation. Over time I did learn this was one of the most unwholesome things I could do and I have still lost my footing in times of despair that I go back to this way of talking because I’m conditioned to beat myself up when something bad happens (and even during this weekend’s retreat those unwholesome thoughts came up).

So sorry for anyone I’ve hurt in the past because of this. I’ve disconnected with many because of my ignorance.

Thus the result of this toxic upbringing and my choice to follow it blindly led to a misunderstanding of relationships to the mundane level (romantic or platonic). Every situation that failed, I tried better. But it only felt worse since till this day every single one has failed, minus one or two, have all ended in some kind of disaster merely due to, what probably was my destructive behavior.

Even now typing this dumpster fire was difficult. Because I have 3 ways of responding

1. I’m a Bot Beep Boop How are you? Good! That’s Good!

2. I have a mask and there’s no one else here behind the ask

3. You sure you want to talk to ME? You sure you find me INTERESTING? You? Find me attractive?! Kay...Just warning you....*reveals the dumpster fire* You can go backward out the entrance door

So...yeah. I’ve never ‘felt’ until recently that my life “mattered”. That I was just...kind of an empty sponge. Day in, day out. Paying off debt for a job that I don’t even do anymore because I’m better at other things, like deduction. And working with data and information.

But anywho....if you’ve made it this far in “My Journey to Find out Who the Heck I Am” Congrats, you made it to this weekend’s insight meditation retreat. Because it was both terrible and uplifting at the same time.

yesterday we meditated for about 8ish hours and I wanted to kill myself (literally) from all the pain in my back. I questioned if I had to go see a chiropractor after it was all said and done. And then something came up that I noticed that I always was aware of.

The teacher kept referencing other teachers before her and near the end of it all when she would keep talking, the references were driving me nuts. Like, she just kept telling us to follow the Buddha like he was some holy person and it clicked: I don’t like organized religion because I’m being told how to do my practice. So when we went outside to walk, it all just kind of clicked when I found a bench off to the side of the business complex (our retreat was at our local sangha and non-residential). I sat on that bench and stared at the fence and the rain and said to myself ‘I am the River’, meaning I should go with the flow and acknowledge and be aware of any ripples made in me.

And that everything that was being instructed on this retreat had been told to me from another source: all of my coworkers who probably have not sat on a cushion in their life.

Today when we the teacher did a talk this morning about ‘self’ and ‘not self’, she, in short, repeated what I said from a quote by Thich Nhat Hanh (monk from Vietnam) about how we are not a river, but an ocean.

And even though the teacher’s story was relatable, it clicked who “Crystal” was and where Stephen stood in Crystal’s life.

Crystal is made up of many individuals parts and is just...Crystal. Stephen is not a reflection, but one of those many parts.

Even though I acknowledge this wisdom, I currently believe I do not (and might not) have the ability to return to my writings because of why I previously explained. It’s not you, it’s the current in the river.

So thank you to everyone who has befriended me along the way and helped me down this path.

Namaste.

*two minutes later* lemme find a Benedict Cumberbatch Buddhism gif to close this story, show me the money Google

youtube

GOD DAMN I-

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#out of the sanctum #well then

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rawringryu · 7 years

Text

tEn cHaRaCtErS

I was tagged in this meme by the awesomely rad @francisthegreat whom I’m lucky to have as my friend :) Also I’m sorry this is so late! I didn’t see you tag me until like yesterday, I had exams this week haha. This was very hard to make because I have a LOT of feelings.

Ten characters from ten fandoms:

This list is going in ascending order, meaning my very favorite faves will be last on the list.

10. Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) First of all on this list is this asshole, gosh I have no idea why but there was a period of time where I absolutely loved Gravity Falls and I shipped with a human form with Dipper mostly because of the amazing art and some pretty complex fics written for the ship. It was a wild ride and honestly thinking about this phase of my life always makes me feel weird, like I liked him purely because I liked reading shippy fics starring him.

9. Pearl (Steven Universe) This one is kinda weird too? Idk man I absolutely love Pearl’s design and the way her character is written. I’m not in loop with the SU fandom because ugh it’s not a happy place to be but I absolutely love browsing art of her. I love how she’s such a broken character for a kids show! I used to read SU meta and they’d go on and on about how she’s a shit character, an asshole towards Amethyst and toxic. But tbh, I feel like she’s just a complex character that made bad choices at times, she’s trying to get better, she’s trying to cope with the loss of Rose someone she probably loved in more ways than one and how she felt Rose chose Greg over her, and now she’s gone. I mean, she just can’t let go and I think that’s very human.

8. Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians) Alright but this fandom was the first one I’d ever been in once I started out in tumblr. It was very cool and leaves bittersweet memories tbh, I absolutely adored the art and fics this fandom churned out, I used to ship Pitch and Jack Frost. The thing about Pitch is the fact that the fandom practically merged the movie with the lore from the original Guardians of Childhood the movie is based on. In the book, Pitch has such a tragic backstory, his name was Kozmotis Pitchinier and he was the best general of the Golden Army. After capturing all fearlings, he was designated to guard the prison of their imprisonment , he was haunted by their whispers and pleading and his only solace was his daughter, of whom he kept a photograph of in a locket. But one day, sensing his weakness, the prisoners imitated her voice and hypnotized Kozmotis to believe she was being held inside with them. Frantic, he opened the doors to release her, but was instead possessed by ten thousand Fearlings.

Sorry for the long summary but I just want people to know more abt his backstory haha.

7. Loki (MCU) I didn’t really know about Loki until I watched Thor: The Dark World in the cinema and I was instantly in love despite this movie being the absolutely worst of all the MCU movies, which looking back I’d have to agree. Loki is yet another tragic character whom I’m sure everyone already knows about. I think Loki is a vulnerable character who tries to be good, wants to be good but he just can’t, or he tries and other people just won’t accept him. He’s a frost giant and those people are considered monsters, how can he not be bitter that he’s the very thing ha’s been indoctrinated to hate and fear. He is a very complex character that the MCU practically does not do enough justice mostly because he’s portrayed as a villain in the movies. But I wouldn’t consider him a villain, more like an antihero, nobody trusts him and he doesn’t think anybody can love him either. I’ve only read a bit of his comics and I gotta say Loki deserves so much more than what he gets.

6. Dr Strange (MCU) (I’m breaking the one character per fandom rule idc) I know a shit ton of people absolutely HATE Dr Strange, and for a variety of reasons too. They hate him because Benedict Cumberbatch plays him and hating on BC is practically the new edgy on tumblr. People think Dr Strange should have been played by an american asian and all that yada plus the ancient one being whitewashed. While I agree some aspects of Dr Strange is problematic, I think people need to give it more credit, at least watch it for the cool effects that the stupidly huge amount of people worked on. Also as an asian, I can guarantee you most people outside of America doesn’t give two shits about these controversies and movies should be a source of pleasure instead of thinking about all the negative shit only. Dr Strange deserves so much more, he’s an interesting and while he does share some qualities with Tony Stark, he’s his own character with his own issues. Plus his comics are very fun to read, come on, magic in the Marvel is such an awesome concept. Fuck you haters, I just wanna have a good time with the magic man.

5. Sherlcok Holmes (BBC Sherlock) This is also one of my earliest fandoms on tumblr. Sherlock season 4 absolutely ruined it with all the queer baiting and the shitty plot. But Sherlock had always left bittersweet memories for me too. Mostly because of the absolutely amazing and complex fics written for it, I will never understand how fic authors do it but Sherlock fics were amazing and I would gladly choose these fics over canon any time.

4. Asuka Langley Soryuu (Neon Genesis Evangelion) I have so many feelings about this bitch right here, honestly one of the most relate-able characters for me. Asuka is a very human character, she’s very proud and has emotional issues. She was considered the best of the best and was trained to be an Eva pilot since she was four because she’s a child genius. However she has a tragic backstory, her mother underwent some tests and became insane, believing that Asuka's doll was her daughter and refusing to acknowledge the real Asuka, referring to her as "that girl over there." She eventually commits suicide by hanging herself; Asuka found her body when she went to tell her the good news that she had been chosen to become an Eva pilot. She couldn’t let go that Shinji the main character was starting to become a better pilot than her despite training for months only. She suppresses a lot of her emotions and had unhealthy ways of coping. I just want her to be happy.

3. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is what I would consider the holy grail of anime tbh. Edward is just about the most selfless person out there in the fictional world of anime. I love the fact that Ed and Al started their journey off with mildly selfish reasons that is to return their body parts whom they lost to in a deal with Truth to bring back their mom which ultimately failed. In the end, Edward is willing to lose his alchemy, the very things that defines him, that started this whole mess, that is the source of his joy and misery for the sake of gaining his brother’s body back instead of selfishly using the Philosopher’s stone that’s made using human souls. I just want this shorty to be happy and I’m glad he is with that satisfying end.

2. Hitsugaya Toshiro (Bleach) The reason this guy is ranked so high in my list is mostly because, he’s been there for me since I was a smol kid, I’ve had a crush on him ever since I was 10 and I could never let go. He’s the one fictional character whom I still fallback to every time things stagnant, I love reading fics about him, he’s just so cool! He’s a child genius with a sword that can shoot ice dragons. Plus he’s always written in such a complex way in fics, Kubo missed his fucking chance by not expanding more about his character in the manga, but clearly Kubo is incompetent when it comes to plot so whatever I guess.

1. Kylo Ren (Star Wars) The Star Wars fandom or specifically the Kylux subfandom is probably the happiest plave I’ve ever been in since forever. It’s the first time I’ve ever talked to anyone at all online, I only lurked around in other fandoms but Star Wars made me able to brave the fandom and talk to people in it, I’ve met so many amazing people and read amazing fics in it, it’s mostly due to the KRB discord chat that I’m still going strong with this fandom. I absolutely love Kylo Ren and can he please crush me between his thighs. The thing that attracted me to him besides his unconventionally attractive appearance is his emotional vulnerability. Kylo has been neglected by Leia and Han as a kid and sent away to jedi school with Luke, he’s been manipulated by Snoke as a kid and Leia and Han just don’t think they can take care of him properly, they’re afraid of him and always too busy with their work, Kylo wasn’t planned, the way their relationship worked just wasn’t ideal for child rearing, Kylo was left alone with Luke, unable to understand why his parents don’t want him anymore, how he was too emotional for the jedi way. While what Kylo did was not justifiable with all that murdering, it’s not a stretch to say that he was very mush a victim of circumstances too. I related to Kylo a lot as I’d been sort of neglected as a child too, both my parents were always busy with work and I only saw them during mealtimes and before bed.

Sorry for the long post ya’ll! I have so many emotions about fictional characters haha.

I’ll be tagging @magicandmalice , @omega-hux, @tezzypants, @darktenshi17, @comraderevelin, @kylocatastrophe, @dargason-under-the-fantasia, @oblioknowlton, @evilblubber, @plasticpill and @glass-oceans that is if ya’ll want to, I had fun and went super overboard.

#personal #ten characters #meme

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