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poisonouswritings · 2 years

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OZZY.ozzzy Oh my FUCKING GOD.

BIKer sage and barista mc. The whole gang quickly become regulars at the cafe you work at. So one weekend when you're not on shift (sage can't come to see you at work and he's too shy to ask you to go out with him so far :( ), sage has a tattoo appointment. Let's be honest, he really wants you to think he's cool and like him cause he's already got a crush. Correction, he's head over heels. He's in love and he's nervous. And he's been waiting and saving up for a while to get these tattoos. Let's say they go from his back to his arms all the way, so it's gunna be approximately a 6-7 hour process. Maybe you complimented elowens tattoos and sage being sage, well... He's a little bitch so he's gunna try and one up her. He shows up on time (cause he's nervous and excited as hell even though it's not his first time getting tattoos) and the cutest person he's ever seen is sitting at the end of a chair putting on gloves and getting new needles out or whatever shit tattoo artist do to prep. But that's HIS CUTEST PERSON. Barista mc works part time as a tattoo artist. So now he's gunna have to sit shirtless in front of mc for a couple hours with them staring at him the whole time. Every time you accidently brush your hand against any part of him he jumps an entire feet in the air. Or maybe you compliment his previous tattoos or his hair or physique he's trying his best to sound coherent but damn how's he supposed to focus on anything when your faces are so close to eachother- Bonus points if he's getting a tattoo somewhere at his hips/thighs too so he has to kinda hold his jeans and boxers out of the way while you work and he's sweating and praying you don't notice or point out his AheM FAmiLiar ProbLeM. Also pain kink 👀. What if he accidently moans lmao.

-egg anon (dumb bitch anon)

Wait no Egg that's so fucking funny

GN!Reader, pretend I know about tattoos, slight NSFW towards the end but nothing too graphic, I think technically it's recommended he do it in segments so he's not sitting there for 6-7 hours with a bunch of raw skin but we're just gonna ignore that, vague mentions of getting drunk/alcohol mention

Sage, Lucan, and Balsam all walk in together,, because generally when one of the boys is getting a tat they all go because it's a long process,,,, but then they see that you're the artist and they just smile really sweetly, pat Sage on the head, and fucking leave him there to suffer because Hey 6-7 Hours of Alone Time That's Basically A Date!!

They text Tulsi and she just responds with 'lmao don't fuck it up'. Such a supportive sister.

It's funnier if you don't have tattoos because Sage will be so confused (he's bright red and fumbling at straws here) and you're just like 'You know getting inked isn't really a requirement, right?' 'I-I know that! I've just never seen it before.' 'Yeah we're the unicorns of the industry.'

Elowen actually did know - she found out when you guys were talking about her tattoos - she just didn't say anything. She thinks it's funny.

He shows you the design he wants and you response enthusiastically. Like 'oh that'll look really good on you!' and he's dead. Bonus points if he designed it himself and you praise him for it.

You have him on his stomach so you can start on his back,, he's your friend so you can be a little unprofessional,,, you gently pick up his braid and move it over his shoulder and your hand brushes slightly across his cheek and he melts,,,,

You can tell that he's a little nervous (whether or not you know why is up to you) so you rub his shoulder for a sec like 'remember that if you need a break or something you can just let me know :) I like spending time with you so I don't mind if the appointment goes a bit longer :)' and he just dies on the spot

You talk as you work except he's too flustered to really respond much so it turns into you telling stories, talking about things you like, or even singing a bit. He's melting at all of it.

Once you finish up with his back you have him take a quick break,, Doordash stuff from the café because you already know what he always orders,,,, he says he likes the coffee better when you make it.

Once the ink has had a chance to settle and the skin is no longer quite so raw you have him roll over so you can get to work on his shoulder and arm. His face is bright red and you ask if the heat is too high or something and grab him some water. He is dead. Again.

Oooh your face is so close,,, he was having a hard enough time holding it together when you were working on his back but now he can see the way your eyes shine when you're talking about something you like and the way your tongue pokes out when you're concentrating and the sweet grin you get when you finish a particularly tricky section,,,,, ooooh he's so in love with you it kinda hurts

Obviously you're gonna ask him why he decided to get inked - especially such a big piece - and literally the only thing he can get out is 'looks cool' because how is he supposed to say he's getting it so you'll think he's cool(er than Elowen)? He cannot. He would die. So.

You keep skimming your fingers over his arm/chest, kinda pre-tracing the designs on his skin so you can get a better idea of the sizing and whatever,,, he lets out this very soft lil whimper every time and prays you don't hear it over the music/machine.

He flinches a little sometimes and you always pause to make sure he's doing okay and that makes his chest feel all warm and fuzzy. One time he's been kinda wriggling around and jumping more than usual so you tell him to take a quick break and he tries to insist he's fine and you smile really sweetly at him and give his hand a lil squeeze and say something like 'you don't always have to be so tough, you can trust me to not tease you for it' and 'I know you say you're fine but I also know this isn't exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world so can you please take a sec to just breathe? For me?' and ohohohohoho he's a puddle

There's a particularly agitated patch of skin so you just blow on it a little to get it to cool down,, so your lips are really close to him,,, and then you look up at him and ask if that feels betters and Oh He's Having A Nosebleed

I don't think it's necessarily the pain that excites him (although it's certainly a factor, he's a bit of a masochist) so much as it is you being so close to him,, especially when you're sweet on him,,, he's trying so hard to hold his boxers/pants in a way so you won't notice his developing problem,, biting his lower lip so you won't hear his sighs/groans/etc.,,, He tries to say your name and it comes out as this breathy moan,,,,,, Your arm accidentally brushes against 'it' while you're repositioning and he jumps and starts apologizing and you just softly squeeze his knee and go like 'oh it's fine that happens a lot more often than you think. D'you wanna go use to the bathroom real quick?" And he's just Completely Deceased. Praying Lucan and Balsam don't find out about it but knowing they inevitably will somehow

Once he's finally done and wrapped up you ask him how he's feeling and he admits that it's really sore, maybe you can kiss it better ;) and you give him a light kiss on the cheek and he just >\\\\\\\\<

The boys come to pick him up,, he has all the bandages on so they can't see it yet but you took pictures (for your portfolio) and Hey Now You Have Topless Sage Pictures On Your Phone. That's Cool.

At this point your shift was over like 45 minutes ago and it's kinda late so Lucan and Bas ask you if you wanna grab dinner with them,, Sage can't decide whether he's gonna kill them or thank them endlessly because now you guys get to sit in the back of the car together (yes one of them,, probably Balsam,,, still has a car for practical/emergency reasons).

Apparently you're not supposed to drink for 48-72 hours after getting inked and normally Sage wouldn't listen to that but,, you're here so,,,, he kinda has to,,,,,,

Sorry I'm a big sucker for 'Person Gets Drunk And Other Person Who Is Head Over Heels In Love With Them Has To Babysit Them' so you guys get food and you get a little wasted and now Sage has to keep an eye on you. Tulsi and Elowen meet up with you guys and they're just grinning the whole time

You fall asleep on Sage's (non-tattooed) shoulder and yes his entire body kinda hurts right now but he has literally never felt so good before

#last legacy #fictif last legacy #sage lesath #sage lesath x reader #fictif sage #last legacy sage #cw alcohol mention #fren asks #egg anon #ozzy answers #ozzy daydreams

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high-dragon-bait · 2 years

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Hi You have infected me with Eshanna thoughts, and I was thinking about like, before her magic manifests, if they're living in Kirkwall (and she's spending summers in Antiva with her cool uncle), HOW MANY cool aunt/uncles she probably has in that town?

Cool aunt Merrill (though Fenris doubtless has strong opinions about his daughter spending any time with little miss blood is magic (affectionate)) showing little Eshanna all the best places in town to get sweet treats and where the best walled gardens are and how to sneak into them

Cool auntie Isabela (who would hate being called that) sailing in from doing pirate shit every now and then to flirt with Eshanna's dad (gross) and shower her in presents like the childless wealthy bisexual disaster she is

Cool (if grumpy) aunt Aveline sorta affectionately letting Eshanna get away with everything because she reminds her of her mother, and Hawkes get to do what they want in this town

Cool uncle Donnic scooping her up on his shoulders while he's on patrol in the safer parts of town, telling her very watered down funny stories about her dad from before she was born

Cool uncle Carver swinging by between duty cycles to pat her awkwardly on her little head and then, when she's older, teach her some martial skills because that's the only way he's confident he knows how to interact with people

Cool(?) Uncle Sebastian (when he calms down) coming by to take her and Fenris to church every now and then, when the chantry is rebuilt, and to talk in his gentle voice about the love of the Maker and for a little while she feels almost at peace

(I know Anders isn't welcome and doesn't see Eshanna for YEARS but consider: an orange kitten with a blue ribbon tied around its neck shows up on their doorstep in a basket one day and Eshanna is OVER THE MOON and sh can't work out why her dad is so suspicious of the adorable little beastie)

And of course, coolest uncle Varric, who's the fuckin Viscount, and can and will pull any strings he wants in order to make sure her childhood is as idyllic as Kirkwall can possibly make it

(which ofc means the Coterie falls in line and treats her like their little darling because if they don't Varric will feed them their own feet and if they do he will give them lots of money)

Anyways my overall point is: does this child EVER suffer a single consequence (other than dad's grumpy face and maybe some mild* chewing out) for her actions prior to her decision to up and run away? I mean everyone in her life misses her mom so much and feels so bad about her being gone, they probs let this kid run roughshod over the whole gotdang city lmao

*mild by Fenris's standards bc he's trying so hard to be nice but he has NO (zip zero none) context for what a reasonable amount of discipline is

I just need to say it makes me OVERJOYED to see so much written about a character that for the most part is completely divorced from the official canon and is JUST my OC like. Thank you so much for taking the time to type all this out!!!

I’m gonna go through each point and tell you what I have in mind for each dynamic if anything at all, some of these I definitely haven’t thought about lmao

Some context for Eshana's story for anyone who's confused, and the rest of this will be under a readmore to avoid eating people's dashes

Merrill

Avis and Merrill weren't actually that close! They weren't not friends, but they were the friends that don't really hang out on their own. If they're left alone together it's small talk until the rest of the crew shows up. No one's fault, they just don't have a whole lot in common and Avis' closeness with both Fenris and Anders definitely made things a little awkward.

BUT Merrill is Merrill, and regardless of how close she and Avis were, you're still right. Merrill would absolutely sneak Eshana all the sweets she could, bonus points if they're made with Dalish recipes (usually baked pastries such as pies and rolls with berries and honey in them) and show her all the beautiful things about Kirkwall. Fenris. Would not appreciate if Merrill took Eshana to the alienage, but she probably has more than once. They're her people too, Fenris, she should know.

Isabela

You’re on the money with this one. Eshana LOVES Isabela and Isabela is definitely the one who tells her stories she’s probably way too young to hear, with the justification of “she’s going to learn about it one day!” to Fenris. Eshana doesn’t care, she adores them.

And yes, she showers Esha with gifts. I like to think when Fenris would pick her up from her uncle at the end of the summers, he would have a little bag of gifts for her. He brings her dolls, painted wooden toys, necklaces, bracelets, earrings and other trinkets. (I’ve got a secret mental scene of Vaea catching Fenris buying a doll in a marketplace and that’s how she finds out he has a daughter back home. I don’t imagine he tells people about her much while he’s Blue Wraith-ing)

Eshana loves these gifts from her father, honestly, she does. But Isabela’s bringing things a little more exciting. Isabela will bring her full sized daggers, complete with a gory story of how she won it in a tavern brawl. Is it true? You have her word as a captain it is.

Aveline and Donnic

Combining these two into one for brevity’s sake. Your on the right track here, but Aveline doesn’t let her get away with absolutely everything exactly. She has given her extensive lectures about rules and law in Kirkwall, and that her name only grants her so much. Lectures Eshana… endured. But the moment the tears start flowing start flowing it’s all over. That’s when Donnic swoops in and takes her off for a little while. Eshana grows up with a healthy amount of love… and a little bit of fear for Aveline.

I will say, Aveline is the one that smacks Fenris upside the head when he needs it. When Eshana vanishes, obviously the first thing he does is go to the captain of the city guard to find her. Aveline talks him down from his panic-fueled fearful rage, and tells him that she’ll look, but she’s not going to drag her back to him kicking and screaming. She’ll be gone again within a week if she does that. Throughout the whole ordeal she tries to be the voice of reason when Fenris can’t, and she does play a huge part in keeping him sane.

Carver

Okay. This is where things get kind of awkward. In the true canon, my friend and I have changed some events up, some to make the combination of our playthroughs a bit more smooth and some just for the hell of it. This is one just for the hell of it. Point is: The Grey Warden that falls into the Fade with Avis, is Carver, and Avery does not fall in with them

Avis dies when Carver tries to play the hero and run off and distract the nightmare, she pulls him away and forces him up the stairs but then she has to take over keeping the spider back. She did not intend to sacrifice herself in that moment, but that is what happens. Carver of course blames himself, and tells everyone that he killed Avis, and this includes Fenris. Even after Fenris knows the full story, he blames him. They never got along, and now it's worse.

So, with all that said... Carver and Eshana don't see each other much. Fenris does try. He doesn't want to alienate his daughter from her mother's family and he does know deep down that the Maker himself could not have stopped Avis from pulling Carver out of the Nightmare's grip. So he tries. Carver does not.

Carver thinks he is not worthy to see his niece because he killed her mother, he can't look Fenris in the eye and know he hates him and know he deserves it. So he stays away, because it's better for everyone. Eshana has seen him only a handful of times, and it was always when a visit from him to Avery overlapped with one of Eshana's summer visits to Avery.

That was. Cheery. Anyway

Sebastian -

I am. I am so sorry. I hate Sebastian. I cannot bring myself to answer this. What you wrote is adorable I just cannot dedicate braincells to this man. I wish the tone could get brighter but unfortunately next is Anders

Anders

Your idea of Anders silently watching over her is so SO cute and I want so badly to tell you that you're correct but unfortunately. Anders is not. Fond of Eshana

See, in my version of the Fenris/Anders/Hawke mess, Anders copes with my Hawke choosing Fenris over him by inventing the narrative that Fenris doesn't really love her. Fenris is too much of a "wild dog" to love anyone, and one day, she'll realize this and come back to him. He convinces himself he's right because Fenris doesn't act like he loves her. He's never heard Fenris say it, he's never seen him call her "my love," he's never seen him prove that he loves her, at least not in his book

But then Avis gets pregnant, it's Fenris', she wants to keep it and Anders is devastated. She's now going to have the child of a man who cannot love her and she refuses to listen to him when he tries to tell her the hard truth. Still, Anders keeps with his initial belief, and accepts that when Avis comes to him she'll do so with a baby, and he'll help her raise it still

But. When the birth starts to go wrong and Fenris comes to him to save them, this narrative falls apart. Fenris' love, care, and concern for Avis is so in his face that he can't invent a narrative to pretend its not there anymore. He saw Fenris run to him in his clinic, desperate, begging him to save them. He saw how he stayed at her side until Anders was finally able to deliver the baby, and he saw him sit vigil at her bed, their child in his arms until she finally woke up after the whole ordeal was over. He could not pretend he didn't love her after all that

So. Eshana basically becomes a walking reminder to him of the fact that he was wrong. His fantasy was false. Avis was never going to come back to him. That's painful. And listen, Anders is very aware that this grudge is not fair to her. It's not Eshana's fault that she was born, but he feels what he feels, so he in general just avoids her.

The fact that she's Fenris' spitting image doesn't help either.

Varric

FINALLY some levity. Yes, Varric is the one letting her get away with everything as Viscount when Aveline won’t do it as guard captain. And you bet your ASS he’s paying to keep the carta and every other dangerous group MILES away from her. I won’t say they dote on her, mostly just stay away from her and that effectively makes them stay away from Kirkwall. If she’s caught in any crossfire it’ll still be hell to pay.

He’ll let her use his office as a playground. She can stamp things, sometimes open letters. He’s more than once been tempted to let her reply to letters but has yet to actually go through with it.

He calls her “Eyas” by the way. Which is what Hawke chicks are called.

So, to answer your final question of if she faced consequences before she ran away: Sort of. It’s less that she didn’t face consequences and more that due to her father, Aveline, and Varric’s efforts she’s grown up in a much safer world than they have. She hasn’t known the danger there really is out there because she hasn’t seen it. They’ve told her about it of course, and she isn’t stupid, but she’s definitely ignorant of the cold hard realities of how cruel the world can be.

She believes she just knows enough to make it through in one piece. That she can do it alone, not aware of the things the people around her have done to keep her safe all her life, and now she’ll be entirely without them for the first time ever. It goes about as well as you’d expect!

There you go! Sorry it took a little while to answer this I just wanted to do it justice. So here’s a long answer to a long ask! Thank you again!!

#Dragon Age #FenHawke #da2 #my dragon age #eshana hawke

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therandomficwriter · 3 years

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Weasley Twins with a Non Ticklish S/O

A/N: I genuinely believe their reactions would be so funny so I thought why not. Plus this is a little self indulgent considering I’m not ticklish myself lmao. Besides that please enjoy!

Fred

You guys were probably chilling in the common room when he got the sudden idea to tickle you

He had been teasing you for quite a while but he never thought to tickle you throughout your relationship

He then devised his plan and put it into action

You had just made a backhanded comment to tease him and that’s when he decided to strike

“Oh yeah, you think that’s funny? What about this!”

He began tickling your sides but soon noticed your lack of response

Looking up he noticed the confused look on your face

He would question if you felt that and you said yes but it didn’t tickle

He then proceeded to check every tickle spot he could think of

And every time he’d try you would sit there with a bored look on your face

“What is this, witchcraft?!?!”

Lmao yes he would crack that joke

You’d just chuckle and say “good one Freddie” before walking off leaving him stunned

Honestly he’d be low key kinda scared of you now lmao

He probably try a couple more times but this time surprising you in hopes it would work but it was a fail every time

He’d think you’re are secretly ticklish and you’re just hiding it from him

From then on he makes it his mission to make you ticklish at least once

George

He wouldn’t be as shocked as Fred but he’d be kinda confused

He had come up behind you one day and brushed his hands against your sides in hopes to hear you laugh but you didn’t respond

He just thought maybe he didn’t do it right???

So this time he just blatantly tickled you to see your reaction

You just stared at him with a confused look

“What are you doing?”

“Uh tickling you I think???”

Poor baby would be so confused

When you told him you weren’t ticklish he’d think you’re so cool

He’d test it out just to make sure tho

He’d probably boast that you’re not ticklish just because he thinks it makes you so much more attractive

I feel like he would work hard to hear you laugh since he can’t easily get you to do it with just a tickle so he’d constantly do things just to hear your giggles

Sometimes you feel bad that you can’t be one of those cute giggly s/o’s that are easily ticklish but he constantly reassures you

You’re glad he doesn’t bring it up much and that he likes that you’re not ticklish cause everyone seems to think something is wrong with you when you tell them that but not him

You just love him all the more for it.

He probably makes you ticklish once without even trying and he holds that memory so close to his heart cause it just makes him so happy

At that point you’re convinced he’s your soulmate cause if he can make you ticklish he’s the one (and you’re not wrong)

Bonus Weasley Twin’s overall reaction

After finding out you weren’t ticklish they decided to make a candy for the shop for people just like you

And they probably named it after you

You were pretty honored tbh

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #the weasly twins #weasley twins #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley imagine #fred weasly x reader #george weasley #george wealsey x reader #george wealsey imagine #harry potter hc #fred and george #fred and george weasley

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sondepoch · 4 years

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HC: MC is more flexible than them!

Perfection is certain. Perfection is solid. Perfection is the body of a demon or an angel, where there is no room (or need) for bones to crack and muscles to stretch. You and Solomon, though? You’re human. Not so “perfect” when compared to the other inhabitants of at RAD—but that just makes it all the more interesting when they finally see the way the human body can crack and bend

Word Count: 5.5k

SFW + mild descriptions of cracking body parts

Characters: All brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Instant panic mode

Man just learned that it’s possible for humans to break bones, so when he hears you casually crack your knuckles, he instantly assumes that all your fingers are broken

Finds it even more terrifying when you lean your head back and crack your neck

Honestly, the look of sheer horror on his face would be terrifying if you didn’t find it so funny

Is actually super confused when he realizes that you’re 100% fine but will not lower himself to actually asking you about it. That is not the Lucifer way, and so this man instead decides to secretly binge Satan’s collection of human anatomy instead

But uh, he gets scarily into it

Seriously, you’re starting to get concerned when it’s been nearly two full weeks of Lucifer ignoring you to bury his nose in a book, eyebrows furrowing every goddamn time he finishes one, and still has no clue what that cracking sound is

It’s only when you casually do it at the dinner table and Asmo cringes, complaining about how weird it is that humans get pockets of gas inside certain joints and they actually have to crack it out, to which all his brothers nod their head and cringe when you do it again, that he understands what it is

Has never been more relieved

He isn’t as disturbed by the sound as he was before, so it’s not as fun to tease him with it - but you can count on the fact that if you ever crack anything in his presence, he will pause whatever he’s doing to study you for a moment and make sure your face isn’t contorted in pain or anything

After all, he needs to be completely certain that you haven’t broken a bone

But someone help this man when he realizes how much more flexible humans are compared to demons

The first time you do a backbend in front of him, he actually flinches

Man can’t help but imagine himself in those poses - and no matter how sexy you look when you’re winking at him and stretching your body like it’s glue, his bones would have to be shattered to bits for him to do the same

Quietly asks you not to stretch yourself into such positions in his presence

On the bright side, you can shut him up in the middle of any lecture by “casually” stretching your arms back until the demon is so disturbed that he stops in the middle of his sentence and asks you to leave as soon as possible

All in all, not a big fan - but he can tolerate your antics (if only to save face)

But if you ever show him videos (or even pictures) of a contortionist, he may actually be scarred for the rest of his almost-eternal life

Mammon

Man really needs to learn how to knock

He barges into your room without warning, as usual, only to see you all but straddling the ground, legs spread wide apart as you lean to one side and touch your right toe

It’s the most basic human stretch there is - but it’s terrifying to Mammon

You don’t even get the chance to say hi to him before he’s lifted you onto your feet, pulling you up from under your arms, desperately asking why you weren’t screaming for help

Cannot process the fact that you were actually in that position willingly, much less the notion that it felt remotely good

Of course, you respond to his obvious aversion by showing him all the other ways your body can bend, flopping onto your bed and bending your body into a perfect bridge position

Mammon’s screeches when he sees the arch your back makes

It lowkey gives him nightmares the next night

Also becomes very touchy after he sees you move your body around so comfortably

In his eyes, you’re now the equivalent of a giant teddy bear - and really, what are the differences, now? He uses you for cuddles and hugs, can seemingly bend your body in any way and you’ll bounce back, and your skin is so soft compared to the hardness of his own body

Man actually grows used to your body after a while, holding a strange fascination for the way you can move

Begins to think that it’s cool when you show him how you can crack your knuckles and such

Absolutely makes use of the fact that some of his other brothers hate the sound, casually walking up to them with you by his side and asking them (while you crack your knuckles) to forgive his debts

Works 90% of the time

The 10% when it doesn’t work, though, he gets into trouble

In his free time, though, he actually likes lying with you and trying to figure what other body parts you can crack

Courtesy of Mammon, you learn that you can crack your hip if you stretch at a certain angle

(Bonus:) He one day tries to stretch his body the way you stretch yours and does a basic hamstring stretch on the ground, trying to touch his toes, but the exertion is too much for his inflexible body and he sort of locks a joint, so he’s left on the floor for nearly half an hour until you find him in his room and help him out of it

(Bonus bonus:) After his trauma from the above incident, he immediately goes back to assuming that you’re in great pain every time he sees you do a particularly difficult stretch and instantly lifts your body out of the position, no matter how you protest and say that you’re fine

Leviathan

"What a normie”

That’s the only reaction you get when you crack your knuckles in front of him, eager to see what he’ll do after realizing how much it disturbs his other brothers

Needless to say, you’re disappointed by his utter nonchalance

But that’s only because you have no clue what happens to Levi when he runs to his room and closes his door, jumping into his bathtub with a shook expression on his face

“Oh my god!” He squeals. “iT wAs LiKE iN tHe aNImES”

Nah, fr tho

Man has seen more than enough human-world shows which feature characters cracking their knuckles before getting down to work, so he’s pretty familiar with the concept

Like many things in anime, he was only 60% sure that it was real

But you actually did it

And it was in real life

Man is practically fanboying over a perfectly normal phenomenon

While you’re sitting in the living room, thinking that he was utterly unfazed by it :(

But when the two of you have a whole year to spend together under the same roof, it’s honestly inevitable that the truth comes out

“You like it?” You ask, pure confusion settling over your faces. After all, he’s the first of the brothers to not be utterly horrified by your little habit

“N-no!” Levi shouts, hiding his face. “I mean, maybe...just a little...sort of...but not in the normie way!”

Boi is too cute for his own good

Of course, you humor him and proceed to crack every single joint you can think of, sending a wink Levi’s way

It would be so easy to tease him, wouldn’t it? To mess with him and call him strange, to compare to his brothers and remind him that you’re not an anime character - and that anime is, in fact, based on humans, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that humans could crack their knuckles the way he’s seen online

But, he’s too precious. And too cute. And he’s too adorable, staring at you with that utterly captivated expression, so you can’t help but humor him again, asking if he wants to see some of the other differences between humans and demons

And when you show him how you can bend your body, man is shook all over again

He 100% thought that the absurd stretches (like a split? how preposterous) were merely fabrications of animation - flourishes added in by animators to make the visuals more interesting

But seeing you move like that? And when you show him the other stuff?

Congratulations. Boi is officially convinced that humans are more interesting that anime can ever be.

Satan

One of the few demons who was already familiar with the fact that humans are ridiculously flexible and can crack nearly everything in their body

He was actually the one to approach you about it

“Stretch for me, human.”

Or well, the same thing but in less blunt words

Actually invites you to have tea with him where he first broaches the subject, confirming that you'll be fully comfortable with everything he wants to study

Lmao man really arranges to have a safe word in case he pushes you too far

Once you’ve agreed to letting him study how the human body can bend and crack, the two of you set a time and meet up in his room (and yes, he does clear his books out of the way to make room for you)

And so the stretching begins

It actually feels quite awkward at first with Satan showing you pictures from human world yoga books and asking you to mimic them, taking notes in a book on everything

Gets really excited when he realizes that your flexibility is a function of how often you stretch, and once he realizes that you’re able to go a little farther each day, he becomes lowkey obsessed with finding out whether there's a limit or not

Boi may or may not secretly try to stretch in his own room in case demons are just naturally less flexible and need to stretch regularly to become like humans

Also almost breaks his arm attempting that, so he never tries it again

The whole ordeal fits itself into your routine after long enough: after school, you go to Satan’s room and do yoga while he jots down notes on how your body moves, and after everything is done the two of you have tea

Satan never touches you while you’re stretching for fear that he’ll physically push you into something uncomfortable, but when you explain that certain positions are easier to hold if someone helps, he’ll definitely try to be a helping hand

He starts out really tentatively, hesitant that he’ll be too strong and will push you to the floor or something, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find that humans are more resilient than he’d initially thought

After his notebook is filled with notes and he’s suitably convinced that all his questions are sated, he’ll express his gratitude and tell you that you don’t need to continue

But if you tell him that you’ve been enjoying your time together, man will 100% clear that space in his room permanently, so that you can spend time there together while Satan asks you calming questions about your day and you stretch the tension of the day out of your muscles

Asmodeus

Jelly boi

Nah but fr

Man couldn’t care less about your ability to crack your knuckles and neck - if anything, he finds the habit to be irritating

But boi is jealous when he sees how easily you can bend your body and stretch into positions that even he can’t

Obviously, his mind is in the gutter when he’s thinking about the way your body can bend - but he’s equally furious of the fact that human skin is so much softer than demon skin

Like, yes. Most demons have near-perfect skin because of its taut texture - and yes, that gives them the illusion of perfection

But human skin, blemished as it is, is like a teddy bear next to a rock when compared to demon skin

And obviously Asmo’s skin is softer than everyone else’s (this man is NOT skimping out when it comes to his skincare routine), but it infuriates him that his skin isn’t as soft as yours

Of course, man bounces back quicker than anyone else (as expected)

He grows content with the texture of his own skin the moment he realizes how easily penetrable human skin is - namely when he’s doing homework with you and he sees your skin get sliced open by paper, of all things (man nearly chokes when he learns that this is a regular occurrence for humans)

But he never quite loses his fixation for the human body

It’s highkey the reason why he likes touching you so much - your skin is softer than some Devildom blankets! If he could fall asleep with your arms wrapped around him every night, he absolutely would

But he won’t genuinely request that of you unless you explicitly offer, so he’ll settle for simply hugging you at every opportunity

Ofc, the moment he grows content with the texture of his skin, he’s jealous of your flexibility all over again, so it’s kind of nuts

You eventually have to sit him down and tell him all the downfalls of being able to bend yourself into awkward positions (ex: getting stuck in said position or causing a cramp) for him to finally be content with his own body once more

The moment he’s back to normal, all the usual flirtatious jokes come back and he’s offering to let you show him the ways your body can bend

You deny instantly

But if he ever takes you to a club and has the opportunity to dance with you, do a body roll

Man will get on his knees if that’s what it takes to have you do it again

And then he’ll whisk you off to his room, stubbornly ignoring his brother’s protests, declaring that he needs to “reeducate” himself in the art of dance, and that you’re going to be his teacher

And hey - give him a private show while you’re at it ;)

Beelzebub

The first time you crack your knuckles in front of him, he’s eating

Man doesn’t really register it, just assumes that he bit something crunchy

The second time you do it, it’s in his and Belphie’s room - and Belphie is taking a nap

Man gets a little suspicious, because the sound definitely came from your end, but he dismisses it and decides that the sound must have been a hitch in Belphie’s breathing

But the third time, the two of you are alone

And Beel’s protective instincts come rushing to the surface when he realizes that you really are the one making that sound

“Are you dying?”

First question, no matter what. Man has heard of medical conditions that cause bones to become brittle and crumbly, so he needs to know

Then again, he won’t really believe you when you tell him the truth

“You can...crack stuff at will?”

beelisconfuzzled.exe

You have to show him methodically, portion by portion, which of your body parts you can crack

He isn’t disturbed by the sound (he’s eaten things which sound much worse, he can assure you) but man is intrigued

(”But how?” He’ll inevitably ask, struggling to yank his own knuckles off in an attempt to crack them and get that feeling of satisfaction you kept talking about)

All in all,he has a decent reaction - probably one of the only people who won’t overreact about the information

But then the fateful day comes

And he cracks your back

It happens while he’s giving you a big bear hug, proud of you after you came running to tell him about a good grade you got in Devildom Literature - and he places his palm on your back in just the right area, pressing down as he hugs you

And pop

Man is so mortified, he almost drops you

You, on the other hand, cannot be more pleased with this development

“Again! Again!” You shout, trying to get him to repeat the action - but while Beel loves hugging you, cracking your back is something he’s not willing to risk

“It’s okay when you do it, because you know how much your back can take” is his biggest argument. "But I don't."

And unfortunately, calling him a chicken won’t work when you try to convince him otherwise :(

What will work, however, is convincing Beel that this can be a sort of strength training - because he needs to have full control of his body to do it right

He’ll agree to do it once (mainly because you’ve been begging for so long)

But, obviously, “once” means as many times as you want, from there on out ;)

Belphegor

It’s one of the few times where Belphie isn’t in tune with his brother

And he hates it

He doesn’t understand how Beel isn't disturbed by the sound - every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a shudder straight down Belphie’s spine

And it’s not the ick factor taking place. It’s just that Belphie can’t help that his mind wanders to darker places whenever you do something like that, the sound abruptly reminding him of his time in the Celestial War and all the awful things he heard there

Like others, the sound reminds him of how weak you really are

And so, if you ever crack your knuckles around him, expect him to leave instantly

He’s the one brother who will never learn to tolerate it - not when he can remove himself from the situation so easily

And honestly, it’s kind of amazing how sharp his ears are

Is he taking a nap on your lap? If you think you can subtly crack anything without his eyes shooting open, you’re wrong

Is he preparing dinner with you in the kitchen? Nope, the sound of boiling water will not cover the sound of your body stretching too far, and Belphie will shoot you a glare before swiftly exiting the room

Is he simply doing homework with you in the RAD library? You’d think that the sound of chatter from the table next to you would hide the noise you make when you subtly lean back to crack your back, but Belphie is gathering his things mere seconds later, huffing and muttering under his breath

So yeah

Not a fan

On the other hand, he loves how accommodating your body is in terms of how flexibly you are

It brings him great joy, honestly, to just watch you flop your arms around aimlessly because humans’ movements are so fluid, so smooth, so unhindered by the rigid joints of demons

And, obviously, your flexibility makes for better naps

He likes to sleep next to you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you latch onto him in whatever position you deem comfortable

Without a doubt, the position you find is something that would be wholly impossible for a demon (how are you bending your legs that much?!) and it sometimes scares him to realize the full extents of your flexibility (can all humans twist their arms like that, or is it just you?) but he loves that you use your body’s oddities to pull him closer

And he’ll never deny you a comfortable nap if you’re willing to cuddle so readily

Never

Unless you crack your knuckles, that is

Solomon

Life is war and cracking body parts is your only weapon

Aka nonstop competitions between you and our resident wizard boy, both of you cracking body parts back and forth until one of you either fails or runs out of things to crack

Knuckles? Come on, are you even trying? Give him something less basic

Back? Oh yeah. Both sides, too - and the loud ones

Hips? You didn’t think it was possible, but Solomon will look you in the eye and hit one side of his hip, the movement a prelude to an instant CRACK which rings out oh-so-gloriously from the other end

Ribs? You realized you could crack them once and never stopped - you’re actually the one to teach Solomon how to do this

Neck? Always the finisher. So loud, and so satisfying

Neither the House of Lamentation nor Purgatory Hall ever wants to have the two of you over at the same time, because the residents know that you and Solomon will have these competitions. And they absolutely hate it.

So what do you do?

Go to the library and disturb the demons there, of course

It actually becomes a pretty sick form of payback to all the annoying demons that look down on the two of you for being humans, because they always cringe so hard when you guys do this

The two of you have deduced that the sound of knuckles cracking is the demon equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard

And you fucking run wild with it

No one wants to piss either of you off, because you’ll both glare at the demon in question and proceed to crack every body part known to mankind (like seriously - it’s reached the point where you guys can crack your TOES, and if that isn’t absolutely amazing, then you don’t know what is)

It actually highkey annoys the demons in your classes, because you guys always crack everything right before an exam and while it helps you focus better, it effectively ruins their concentration

Ofc you guys don’t really care so they can suck it

But uh

Okay so the demons at RAD may or may not get fed up of you both one day and petition for Diavolo to instate a “No cracking body parts” rule in school

So yeah your primary source of entertainment sort of disappears after that point

But no worries, you and Solomon head to the downtown shopping districts instead and become the BEST hagglers in town

“Hey, can we get these shirts on a discount? Huh? You don’t do discounts?

*Aggressively cracks everything until the demon just wants them out of the store*

“How about now BICH?”

Simeon

You’re actually not the one to introduce Simeon to the idea of humans being able to crack their body parts at will

No, it’s Solomon who steals that pleasure from you

But will Simeon ever let the sorcerer know just how much it unnerves him? Absolutely not. So what does our beloved angel do?

Why, there’s only one option

Come running straight to you.

Man is disturbed. Honestly, disturbed is phrasing it lightly. If he were in his angel form, you’d be able to see how his feathers ruffle and flutter at the very thought of that sound

Needless to say, he hates it

(You 100% consider cracking your knuckles in front of him, just to tease him, but you decide against it)

See, Simeon is an angel. And that means 99% of the time, he’s surrounded by other holy spirits, all of which have bodies molded to perfection that simply cannot crack the way yours can. Whereas demons are forced into human interaction a little more (oft when they're summoned), Simeon really isn’t used your fragility, no matter how much he tries to remind himself of it

So yeah

He hates it

On the other hand - man loves how flexible humans are

The first time you flop down onto your bed, assuming a position that would be impossible for any demon or angel to take but is deemed “comfortable” by you, Simeon is enraptured

It’s not sexual, he just thinks it’s really amazing that you have so much control over your body when he can hardly do a standing glute stretch without breaking a limb

It’s almost funny, his fixation

Actually no - it’s not almost funny. It is wholly and completely hilarious, and you will not stop leading him further down this rabbit hole

When you send this man picture of an contortionist, he’s utterly mesmerized

Show him human ballet, and he will not stop watching it

So yeah

He appreciates parts of the human body, hates others - but as long as you never crack your muscles in front of him, he’s down

Also - after you’ve thoroughly interested him in the art of being a human, he may just write about it in his next book. If you read the next set of chronicles detailed by Christopher Peugeot, you already know who the “feisty but good-hearted human who can bend themselves into a pretzel” is based on

(Bonus: Do a body roll in front of him and he might faint - man knew the human body could but like that? You might just have corrupted an angel)

Luke

“So...cool...!”

Boi loves it

He cheers you on like a champ, laughing merrily as you crack your knuckles into oblivion, scaring away the other residents in Purgatory Hall

And no matter how many times Simeon warns him not to urge you on (”The human already has no sense of self-preservation, and you don’t need to help that along,” he said), Luke can’t help but watch with excited eyes as you show him how different the human body is

He’s almost like Levi with his ardent admiration, and he honestly finds nothing disturbing about the sound of you cracking knuckles

Just finds it cool

It actually serves as a catalyst for his relationship with Solomon, because Luke will 100% go up to him and ask him whether he can crack his body like you, and obviously, the man will laugh and prove that centuries of knowledge have made him better than the average human - even in this area

But yeah

You can really see his inner child come out

(Though don’t say that last part out loud - he’ll ignore you for three days in an attempt to be “mature” before you convince him to accept your apology)

But really - he may be the only person who can not only tolerate the quirks of your body, but openly endorses all of them

On the downside, though, he’ll also try to crack his knuckles...which won’t bode too well, given that his body was built to perfection by God

Boi almost rips his finger off

Simeon proceeds to instate a no-cracking-knuckles rule within Purgatory Hall to discourage any further attempts from Luke

But you know what he didn’t ban?

Backflips.

It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t do them - Luke will happen to see a video of a human doing one (ahem, Solomon showed him it in an attempt to stir up trouble), and now he’s begging you to do the same thing in real life

Which doesn’t work out too well, given that backflips are hard

And you may not be successful 100% of the time

And obviously, Simeon eventually finds out that the two of you have moved onto a new fixation, and so he instate the no-backflips-in-Purgatory-Hall rule

But you know what he didn’t ban?

Cartwheels.

And so it continues on and on, indefinitely because the only way to cease your and Luke’s shenanigans would be to ban humans in Purgatory Hall, and Solomon is thankfully preventing him from doing that

Barbatos

Hates it, hates it, hates it

More than any of the brothers, more than any of the angels - this man loathes every oddity of the human body that makes it different from a demon’s

But not for the reasons you’d expect

See, it’s not the sound that bothers Barbatos

No, he’s heard the screams of the damned before. You cracking a few measly knuckles hardly makes him flinch as he pours your tea

But what Barbatos does hate is the fact that he doesn’t know what it means

Every single time you crack a knuckle in his presence, it doesn’t matter if the prince himself is speaking, because Barbatos’s eyes will fly straight to you

And yes - you guessed it:

Barbatos can’t tell the difference between the sound of you cracking your knuckles and the sound of you breaking a bone.

And for that reason, he hates it

It’s hardly his fault - he doesn’t even know if there is a difference between the two sounds. But this butler has no faith in you and no faith in humanity as a whole, so every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a rush of worry straight to his stomach, and the demon has to watch you for a solid ten seconds to make sure that you haven’t actually hurt yourself

Poor man

He’s the kind of guy to take everything in stride, so he'll probably never tell you how much he hates it when you crack your knuckles (and honestly, what would he say? “Hi, can you please stop cracking your knuckles because I care about you and it makes me concerned for your health???” No, that’s not going to work. And he doesn't know what will work, so he suffers in silence)

Seeing you stretch is even worse

It can be a casual stretch, simply pulling your arms above your head just slightly beyond what would be physically possible for a normal demon, but it sends a chill to Barbatos’s heart, and he’s worried all over again

See, when you crack your knuckles, at least it’s over. But when you stretch? Sometimes you hold your position for a minute, if not more - and Barbatos simply can’t turn away because he’s terrified that he will, and you’ll somehow hurt yourself

So yeah

No rest for this butler, not as long as you’re going around with that weak body of yours and are cracking and stretching your way into oblivion

On the bright side, it means that he’s almost always watching over you when you visit, an added layer of protection

The only difference is that while the others are focused on protecting you from other demons, Barbatos is preoccupied with making sure you don’t hurt yourself

Diavolo

Timing is everything

And indeed, you just happen to be in the midst of cracking your knuckles and neck the moment you’re transported to the Devildom, every single one of the most powerful demons in the land staring at you in horror as your body pops some more

"Oh no,” Diavolo whispers, frowning as he looks at Barbatos. “We got a defective human :(”

Nevermind the insult you feel at his words (who does this strange, unfairly-attractive redhead think he is, calling you “defective???” He might be correct in his judgement, but he had no right to voice his thoughts!), you are shook

Definitely not the best first impression for either of you to make

Of course, Lucifer is quick to pick things up with his explanation of what this place is and who he is, and the whole situation is mostly forgotten as you come to realize that you’re standing in front of a literal prince

But the past has a way of resurfacing

And obviously, several months later, you crack your knuckles once more in the presence of the demon lord

The immediate wince on his face is more than enough for you to read his mind

“You’re thinking I’m defective again, aren’t you?”

“YOU REMEMBER THAT?!”

Poor bby

He’s honestly such a brilliant ruler, but when it comes to maneuvering the minds of humans, it’s just not his strong suit

Anyway, the two of you have a long talk (aka you rant and Diavolo listens) where you explain to him that cracking knuckles is a normal phenomenon, and that - look, you can even crack other parts of your body

And the prince is fascinated

He knew humans were built differently than demons, but he’d simply assumed that your body was just as perfect as his, and that yours could simply handle less extreme conditions

Clearly, though, that wasn’t the case

Man decides that, as the ruler of hell and the man spearheading efforts to unite the three realms, it is his moral obligation to learn about the other ways humans differ from demons

And so the shenanigans begin

It’s honestly time-consuming, but Lucifer doesn’t mind because if you’re with Diavolo, you’re out of trouble, and Barbatos doesn’t mind because if Diavolo’s with you, then he’s out of trouble

All in all, it becomes the prelude to a LOT of time spent together, and a LOT of differences between demons and humans come to light.

Aka various iterations of “What do you mean, humans can’t bite through steel?”

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milktyama · 3 years

Text

— ☕︎ JJK'S BIG TIDDIE COMMITTEE

synopsis: you get the idea, you and jjk's big tiddie men

a/n: i have no explanation for this but i hope you enjoy

— haikyuu version

includes: fushiguro toji, kamo choso, nanami kento, ryomen sukuna

genre: ... idefk anymore, suggestive, crack, fluff!!

twc: 873

❥︎ one swear word, manga spoilers (BIG spoilers on nanami's), -16 shoooooo do not touch this post >:(

FUSHIGURO TOJI — wc: 214

can i just start with, wow

no clue how often he works out but he kept his man tiddies big (as bm would say)

anyways toji the big tiddie man would adore to tease you when he realizes you loved his muscular chest

((i also feel he would lowkey make jokes like he had bigger one than you aklfjlskdjfldskjg))

dont quote me on that idk where that came from

anyways even though he loves teasing you about he cant help but let you indulge in it too

he especially likes it when you two kiss and then both of your hands mutually roam around your bodies but yours kinda like,,, stay on his chest lmao

not that he’s complaining

he holds a lot of pride on the fact that you like his tiddies

omg he really likes it when you’re sitting on his lap and then your chest is pressing up against him, doesnt matter if you dont have as much meat as him aljalkdjfgh

‘cause let’s be honest, toji is an extremely well built man and even though he always has a shit eating grin on his face he likes the intimacy

also probably loves it when you mindlessly massage his tiddies, reassures him that you subconsciously think about them or something AHAHAH

KAMO CHOSO — wc: 250

even though he just wears whatever outfit he’s wearing and it’s fairly lose i know that choso has big tiddies bc that man is a well built man

and he’s just so :( <3 about it

his favorite thing ever is literally just cuddling and having you rest on his tiddies like a pillow

bonus points when you turn to face him but you’re kinda lying on him on your stomach so when you try to face him your face is still kinda buried on his tiddies and when you try to talk it a little muffled

… he’ll sometimes pump a little extra blood into his tiddies so its swells a little more so you can have a slightly more comfortable human(ish) pillow of him

will 120% melt whenever you two are like hugging and stuff that his large build makes you feel safe *screams into a pillow* and you’d joke how majority of it is thanks to his tiddies JHAJHF

omg please shower his tiddies with lots of love he will pass out from how much he loves you right that moment

pepper his chest with kisses, give him massages, tell him how peaceful and safe you feel when you’re hugging him, just :( <3

im yearning sorry

but yea <3 as you bury your face onto his chest, his heart swells as he brings his large and slightly rough hands and give you headpats while he openly gushes how much he loves spending time with you like that

NANAMI KENTO — wc: 209

at first he’ll be so confused as to why you were so into his chested area like, everyone has meat and muscle in the chest area, some more than others etc etc

though he quickly got used to your extra attention towards that region

he isn’t the type to initiate any physical of intimate touch so he kinda appreciates it when he comes home from work and you just launch yourself towards him and of course, his tiddies

on that note, he also surprisingly appreciates when you offer him to massage his tiddies lol

of course you would massage him shoulder and other muscles too as his job as a sorcerer is pretty physically demanding, but you would sneakily pay more attention to his tiddies, and he really doesn’t mind anymore, it’s you after all

if he actually pulled through with his like kinda retirement plan in malaysia, you two would spend so much time cuddling somewhere outside your little secluded house on the beach, listening to the waves crashing on the shore as he reads a book in peace

the fresh smell of the ocean is relaxing, the warm sun, and laying on nanami’s tiddies is honestly a dream come true

unfortunately it cant happen obvious unsaid reasons :((

RYOMEN SUKUNA — wc: 200

im not talking about 1-4 fingers sukuna that yuji consumed no no no

im talking about sukuna’s true form

although yes it is very intimidating and scary, god were his tiddies big

well i guess it comes with having like four arms and just like more raw power as a curse, but DAMN his tiddies in his true form are so big ALKFDKSLJF

ok but this man is SO sadistic he’ll literally make you beg to even touch his tiddies

like im talking about the deepest bow and show utmost respect and then he’ll maybe consider

but when he DOES budge and let you enjoy his true form’s large build, let’s just say you’re in for a ride

lmao i wanna be funny and say his tiddies are actually very bouncy so when you play with them they just boing JAHAJSKFH

ok sorry the real juicy part is when he forces your face in between his chest and he kinda suffocates you a little but it’s not enough to actually put you in any danger he just like pushing you on the edge of your seat

… though you probably dont complain so i guess it’s a win win lmaoalfjdh

taglist (form here) : @nvritoshi @i-eren @michiyonakamura @katsulovee

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bokebelle · 3 years

Text

connie springer + friends with benefits

A/N: this is very very self-indulgent and ended up being longer than intended but please enjoy my Connie brainrot bc i love him a lot and he needs more content

WARNINGS: 16+; friends with benefits relationship; mentions of sex; modern au

PAIRINGS: connie springer x gn!reader

TAGS: fluff, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

REQUESTS: open

One of the best people to get into a friends with benefits type of relationship 💯

You guys would have to be good friends before this kind of relationship happens. Connie may be fun and goofy from time to time but he wants to make sure you trust him as a partner and vice versa

He probably wasn't even looking for a fwb type relationship tbh it probably just happened and you guys just went with it

it probably started with growing sexual tension whenever you two hung out. A little playful flirting here and there 👀

At a party, you two were a little flirter than usual and he just looked around to see if anyone was around, and whispered in your ear if you wanted to make out in his car LMAO of course you agreed

things just escalated over time til he offered to take you home one night and you best believe he did NOT go home that night

When the post nut clarity finally hit that you guys hooked up, he just asks if you would want to do it again

Connie turned to look at you, lips slightly swollen, with a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and a light sheen of sweat on his chest. "So...wanna do it again?"

"Right now?!" you sit up, instantly feeling the soreness in your lower half. you definitely weren't ready for another round

"Not now, dummy. But maybe...whenever we both wanna, y'know..." he avoided looking at you, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his own proposition. "but if you totally don't want to, it's fine I understand."

A small smile dances on you lips. He looked cute all flustered, suddenly looking nervous when he was anything but just moments ago. "I think I'd like that."

You two don't really tell anyone, but you don't keep it a secret either. He'd tell them what's up if people would ask (if you wanted them to know) but since you guys flirt all the time no one really suspected anything more was going on

the longer your relationship progresses, the bolder he gets lmao literally went from being shy about asking to hookup in his apartment to dragging your ass you his car during a date because his dick "suddenly missed his best buddy" you smacked him

He is also very open to experimenting and trying new things. He'll try it once and if it doesn't work then it's fine. He also respects your boundaries if ever you don't feel comfortable with the idea of trying something new. he won pressure you and won't bring it up

Probably uses a safeword like "taco"

He isn't THAT rough that you'd need one, but he wants to give you the option of stopping whenever you feel like you can handle it 😭 this baby doesn't wanna hurt you and wants you as safe as possible 🥺

This man is a great mix of playful and serious in the bedroom. He knows when to make you laugh during sex and to tone it down when you just need a physical release. your comfort is his priority so he wants to make sure he fits whatever you need

Connie is actually really good with aftercare despite not knowing it's actually a thing!!

He just knows it's on him to take care of his partner afterwards so he helps you clean up, gives you clean clothes especially if you're at his place, and offers you a snack or asks if you wanna watch a movie

If you want to cuddle and just talk, he's totally down! if you also need some personal space, he'll totally respect that and give you the time you need, whenever you need it.

He can be a total flirt but he's also very friendly and knows his limits so he doesn't end up sending mixed signals. He's flirty enough to keep things interesting but not enough to confuse either of you about your relationship unless he falls for you.

Great aftercare? Attentive in the bedroom? Funny, handsome, respectful king? overall one of the best people to have a FWB relationship hands down

If you ever decide you want to end that kind of setup, he'll totally respect it and would still treat you as a good friend! will occasionally make inside jokes about hooking up but it's all in good nature because he enjoyed his time with you and he wants you to remember that time with the same smile he has whenever he thinks about it pls i love him

BONUS: Falling in love with Connie during your FWB relationship (and him falling in love you with back)

honestly how can you not fall for him

Connie is always so sweet, funny, respectful, both in and out of the bedroom so it wasn't long before you started wanting to stay in his arms a bit more after a good session

Connie never treated you any differently, but there were times when things just felt different

The moment you knew you had feelings for him was when he fucked you differently compared to your previous sessions

Sure he would blow your back out every now and then, but there were also more mellow times with him when you both were feeling lazy and needy

But THIS was a new experience. He fucked you slowly, but intensely. His hands were all over you but his touches were more gentle and soft. His kisses were a little bit sweeter and the caresses on your face lingered just a bit longer.

You snuggled into his chest a little more after that and you swore he held you a bit tighter, pulling your body just a bit closer to his. When you became aware of his heart beating under your ear, and found yourself being lulled to sleep by it, you knew you were fucked both literally and figuratively

Your feelings for him weighed you down more and more until you decided you were playing a dangerous game and you had to get out before you reached the point of no return

it sucked having to break things off with Connie but it was the first rule of any fwb relationship and you broke it more and more everyday.

As you sat up and rolled out of bed, ready to get dressed and leave, you felt Connie's arms come up behind you and rested his chin against your shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you stay the night?" he asked, placing a quick kiss on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

You exhale heavily, dreading what was coming next. You didn't plan on breaking it off so soon, but you knew staying the night would only be the wrong choice to make - for your sake and your heart's.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"C'mon, this isn't the first time you've stayed the night. Please?" You wanted to give in. You wanted to roll around, kiss his pretty face and spend the night in his arms. But knowing he didn't feel the same way as you did, knowing you'd leave with a heart that would break a little bit more if you stayed over, is what made you say no.

"It's not a good idea, Connie." you take a deep breath. "Actually, I think we aren't a good idea anymore."

You felt him withdraw his arms from your torso, the areas where he held you instantly feeling cold and empty. You hold on tighter to the sheets, partly to cover yourself up but mostly to keep you from breaking down in front of him.

"What?! Why not? Did I do something wrong? Was I too rough?"

Connie desperately racked his brain for what could have gone wrong from when you were saying his name like a prayer to now. He didn't want to mess it up with you, he really didn't. You slowly became someone he felt safe with. You became the one he wanted to see first thing in the morning, that's why he wanted you to stay over. He was falling for you, but he didn't want to admit it just yet. Maybe you caught on and didn't feel the same way? He knew he'd have to tell you eventually, but he wanted to be selfish a little bit longer. He wanted to enjoy what you guys had before going back to being just friends with no 'benefits'.

"I know we agreed to being just friends but I think I'm starting to feel something more than that and it's really stupid. But I don't think I can do this anymore without falling for you more than I already have." The tension in the air is palpable. In the time it takes for what you said to finally sink in Connie's mind, you decided his silence was his final answer.

When Connie saw your figure quietly get up from the edge of the bed, he knew this was his chance.

He quickly made his way over to your side, sitting on the edge. He reached out and gently wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Don't go, please." He whispered into the skin of your back.

You turn to look at him, keeping your tears at bay, trying to pry his arms off of you. God, with the way he was looking at you, that was almost all the convincing you need to stay just last night with him

"Connie, don't make this harder on me. You don't understa-"

"No, [y/n]" he cuts you off, now moving his hands to hold yours. "you don't understand." he delicately presses a kiss to your fingertips before kissing the back of your hand. "I want you. I want you to stay."

The meaning behind his words lit a spark in you that erupted into a passionate flame in your chest.

Connie wanted you. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

You cup his face, one of his hands coming up to rest over yours. You lean down and place the sweetest, softest kiss you can on his lips. It's not much but you hope he can feel all you've wanted to tell him in that one kiss.

"Okay, Connie, okay" you whisper as your lips pulled away from his own, a small smile forming when he whined at the loss of contact.

You committed the image of Connie Springer pouting at you because he wanted a kiss to your memory. You would tease him about it soon enough, you just wanted cherish the fact that he wanted kisses - your kisses.

You had more nights to share, more kisses to give him, but for now you just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having Connie in your arms, knowing you had each other as long as your hearts wanted.

You wanted to enjoy the feeling of Connie simply being there, finally being yours. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither were you.

"I'll stay."

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rintarous · 4 years

Text

fuckboy!osamu

[ masterlist ]

kageyama | kita | suna | tendou

oh everyone already knows

him and his brother are notorious for their reputation of being the school resident pretty boys

it was inevitable

he had the looks and everything else u dont have

and not to mention he’s a jock or a volleyball player lmao

bonus points: he can cook

so its safe to assume he knows how to win any woman’s heart

or the entire school population

like he got everyone by the palm of his hand

in all seriousness he did this whole fuckboy act as big joke

cs he wanted to mock his brother for doing this shit so seriously like its his job to be a fuckboy

osamu: are you doing this to pay rent?

atsumu: wha? what rent? we live with our parents??????

he even wonders why atsumu wont give the same energy to his studies and shit

“why don’t you have the same energy when doing your school works ‘tsumu?” he casually brings up as he was doing his homework unlike his brother who’s busy texting 5 different people at the same time

“fuck off ‘samu” his brother grumbles from his bunk (bottom bunk)

and now he’s stuck with all these little to no good people just wanting to fuck him for practically nothing

so he gotta keep this act of being suave and shit but if you looked more closer in his eyes,,,,

hes showing signs that he wants to fucking die

literally and figuratively

like he just wants to eat his food and go

without being mobbed by people

occasionally he’ll see someone cute and pretty and thats it

but a fuckboy gotta do what they gotta do yk??

by that i mean take them out on small dates

cs he doesnt see the point in fucking them

and like i said before, he doesn’t even take his reputation seriously lol

so in all fairness, he’d just take that “fling” out on dates and shit

and then he lets the fling do its thing by falling for him

and BAM!! he’s done w you

“next fling please” he laughs to himself, as if his flings are just some receipt you get from eating at a restaurant

but all the fuckboy-ery of his ended when he began to take notice of you

like he noticed your lunch box had different fillings everyday

making his mouth water out of envy

like how??? do??? you?? make?? those?? weird??? looking?? shrimp?? look?? so?? appetizing????

anyway so,

obviously you knew about the miya twins’ reputation

you must be living under a rock if you didnt know who they were

but you being you, u just focused on making your lunch tasting good instead of drooling over those mediocre lookin dudes if you say so yourself

what you didn’t know is that you caught no other than miya osamu’s attention

JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKIN BENTO BOXES LMFAOOOOO

one day osamu casually slid in your table looking at you with wide eyes

“hey” osamu greets politely

“at least this twin has manners” you thought to yourself as you stared right back at him in confusion

“did you need something from me?” you raised a brow at the grey haired boy

osamu shakes his head and points to your bento box of the day

“those look good. i want to try some” he says boldly, mouth watering staring at the golden brown tempura

“sure” you pushed your bento box near him and he started eating

and boi i think he just fell in love with you on the spot

“A GIRL WHO CAN COOK?????” was basically the thought that was running in his head the entire time

so after that amazing lunch he had with you, he knew he had to get your contact so y’all can text each other abt recipes and what not

“hey this shit was amazing and i want to get your number so you can text me what your lunch is for the day so i can come up with something that could counter yours if thats okay?” osamu asked with his mouth full

“hey don’t talk with your mouth is full” you scold him playfully, grabbing your hanky and wiping those stray rice on the corner of his lips

OKAY OSAMU’S HEART RATE JUST WENT: ASHADKJAHAJK

!!!!!!!!!!!!

so a few days pass by and y’all were just non stop texting each other food related shit

“hey wyd” - u

“cooking onigiris, hbu?” - osamu

“OOH SHOW ME” - u

and y’all be having a blast doe cs osamu was actually rlly funny??

like his dry humor was top notch and made you choke in front of him too many times for him to count

and osamu was just dreamily staring at you while you almost die right in front of him like: mhmmmm thats my girl

wait

MY GIRL??????

yeah so at this point osamu got the hots for u bae

like u’re all he thinks about

with the exception of food of course

i mean how could he not??

you can cook, you look pretty, you take his sarcasm to the next level and reply with something even more sarcastic?? all in one

and he was trying to think of a way to ask you out on a date but only one thing came to mind

and that was to take a italian cuisine cooking class

LFMAOSJDISAJDAO

“oh yeah before i forget, i booked us to this italian cooking class i saw on the way home yesterday”

and your eyes sparkles cs you absolutely love learning new recipes

“omg??? i’m so excited!!” you giggled, feeling giddy

and osamu again,, just smiles dreamily staring at you

but that had to be ruined by the school bell ringing meaning lunch was over :(((

“have to go now ‘samu. i’ll see you around” you waved goodbye to him as you rush to your next class

so the day finally comes

he picks you up at your house just like planned and before you know it you’ve arrived at the italian cooking class

so it starts kinda slow like learning the basics and shit

and finally the good part, the part y’all make pasta

you two were having a blast on this lil class

like osamu making pasta puns here and there as you knead the dough

and thats where you start noticing how,,, c*te osamu is like,, was he always this playful??

“hey y/n?” osamu calls out

“yeah?” you turned your head to face him

“i’m feeling a little saucy” he wiggles his eyebrows making you burst out laughing

“You are tortellini awesome, ‘samu” you managed to hiccup in between laughs

making osamu smile so widely to the point his cheeks hurt

“This is pastably the worst pasta pun i’ve ever heard!” osamu points out

at this point you two were hysterical

it was just too... punny ;)

“I’m so gnocchi to have you” osamu suddenly quips up

“how so?” you smiled, while stirring the pot

“You are tortellini beautiful” he compliments, stroking a finger on your cheek making you blush intently

“how ramentic” you coo, giving him a kiss on the cheek

“Holy Cannelloni!“ osamu gasps, cupping the cheek you kissed

“i’m guessing this whole class was just a date to ask me out?” you chuckled, fixing up your dish

now it was osamu’s turn to blush

“That is tortellini accurate.“

#fuckboy!haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu x reader #osamu imagines #osamu scenarios #osamu headcannons #osamu x reader #osamu miya imagines #osamu miya scenarios #osamu miya headcannons #osamu miya x reader #miya #osamu #osamu miya

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thatweeboverthereisthirsty · 3 years

Note

those twst vaping/smoking headcanons are beautiful and i love them

can i get some rook, cater, sebek, trey, and riddle next?

I’m glad you like them so much! I don’t write for Sebek yet but I only do 4 characters per headcanon request anyways so I hope you don’t mind. I’ve had a lot of fun with these and hope they are just as funny as the last ones!

Rook Hunt:

Is like super good at noticing things

Like assassin good

It's a little scary

So he already knew that you were a smoker

At first he was too polite to do anything about it but after you started dating he started stealing your cigarettes

“Hey Rook do you know where my cigarettes went?”

“My love I have no idea”

Yeah right

Sneaky bastard

But we love you for it

Highkey you never smoke again just cause he always manages to ruin or take the packs

You gave up after a while anyways lol

Cater Diamond:

Absolutely appalled

To the point where he needs to take a selfie of his shocked face

He takes the time to post it before looking at you with the same shocked face

“That. Is not healthy!”

...ok Cater

You are very unsure of what's going on

He’s staring at you and you’re staring at him

Then he walks over and picks the vape out of your hand

Walks it over to the toilet

Flushes it

“Ok missy that better be the last time I ever see a vape in your possession-EEEEEEEE”

Lowkey the toilet regurgitated a bunch of water and stuff because vape pens aren't supposed to be in the system

Silly Cater

Now your feet are wet

You make him explain the situation to Trey and Riddle

#I-made-a-mistake #opps #they’re-not-amused

Trey Clover:

High Key flips out

But on the inside cause he’s cool like that

Instead of approaching you immediately he stops and thinks

Comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t want to suffocate you and you should have the freedom to do what you want

Even if that means inhaling cancer

Gonna try not to worry about it but his momma bear instincts get the better of him

Good boyfriend logic has nothing on momma bear instincts

Besides good boyfriend instincts is fighting with good boyfriend logic already

Stress bakes

A lot

Like each dorm gets 200 cookies a lot

And thats tart number 20 and pie number 17 and cake layer 8

Everyone has no idea what's going on but free food is free food so...

Eventually you confront him

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? The fact that you’re dying!”

…

“Trey, Honey. I’m not dying.”

“YES YOU ARE!”

It takes a while to calm him down

You agree to never smoke again as long as he promises to confront you when he feels somethings off

It’s all very sweet but now you have a lot of baked goods and literally nothing to do with them

You end up leaving them there with a free sign and make bets on who will die in the battle

Riddle Rosehearts:

So everyone else knows before him

They all try their hand at getting you to stop before Riddle finds out

Fortunately they do get you to stop

However

You still have all the vapes and juices

It’s all good and great right cause you’re done but lol you still have stuff

Then one day you just throw it out because naturally you don’t need it anymore

He finds them

AN: In one of my previous vape posts I mentioned a public execution right

This time it’s Riddle that loses his head (cue the pun drums)

Flips out

“EVERYONE RELOCATE YOURSELVES IN YOUR ROOMS! DO NOT LEAVE UNTIL I TELL YOU!”

Deadass Riddle did install a speaker system in Heartslaybul for dorm wide rule announcements and order

You can’t convince me otherwise

He also has a drug tester on hand

(lol my boy is prepared)

Drug tests everyone

Trey and the others realize what happened and call you in preparation

By the time he gets to you he is thoroughly confused

“I don’t understand. No one tested positive. Maybe they were selling them!”

“Riddle darling it was me…”

*SCREEEEEEEECCHHHH*

You explain what happened when he wakes up from his shock induced coma (lol)

He’s happy you stopped and thankful his friends helped you

Lets everyone out of lockdown and goes back to business

Decides he needs to properly dispose of the drugs

…

Where did they go

BONUS: Chen’ya snickers and places the extra materials with his stash. “These will do nicely around the halls of RSA”

The kids of Royal Sword Academy aren’t as pure as they seem…

(I’m sorry I had to do that lmao)

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soupbabe · 3 years

Text

Jonathan Joestar x Transmasc! Sad! Reader

Attempt at like a one shot thing?? Never really done it before. Mostly for my own comfort lmao

! Warnings ! Thoughts that revolve around self worth mostly, Dysphoria type beat. It's mostly comfort than hurt so don't worry too much.

Jonathan wasn't an oblivious man, he noticed that his boyfriend acted more stand offish and out of character when he met up with him to go out for a picnic earlier today. You were quiet, wore baggier clothing, stayed further away from him, and barely laughed along with him when he told you a story about how mischievous he was in his childhood. The most you would do was give a lazy smile and just a bland "That's funny, JoJo" while you silenced yourself with yet another sandwich, acting like the newly sprouting flowers from the bushes nearby were the most interesting thing known to man.

Although he would typically just wait until you decide to open up to him, it hurt him to see you so out of it. Did someone hurt you? Was he the problem? What if Dio did something to you? It worried him greatly.

"Darling, are you okay? I don't mean to intrude too much, but you're not acting like your normal self." You looked at JoJo and took in a deep breath. Out of everyone, he's the man who you could trust the most and knew how to cheer you up on those occasional bad days. He's your lover after all, this bad day shouldn't be too different. "Jonathan, why do you waste your time with your relationship with me? I can't imagine me being able to provide much for us, hell I can't even do the bare minimum for you and give you a real man as a partner. I'll never be good enough for you."

Jonathan buffered a tad bit. What do you mean not good enough? And "real man"? He was confused by what you meant by that. You identify as a man, right? Congratulations, you just met all the criteria to be a real man in his eyes! He thought about your words for a while, and you were starting to regret saying that. "Oh..oh no what if he thinks I'm being pathetic? What..what if-" Jonathan cut off your thoughts by scooting closer to you and taking your hands into his. You looked into his eyes and all you could see was the utmost love and care you've ever seen a person hold. "My love, why are you thinking like that? Y/N, our time together has been far from wasteful. You lighten up my life so much more than you believe. My heart swells with happiness when I see you, you make me laugh on the rainiest days, and you were the first to learn about my childhood with Dio and you didn't dismiss my experiences at all. It was so nice to be in your arms that day and hear your comforting words that made me feel wanted for the first time in forever. Your existence is all you need to provide for this relationship. We could be living under a bridge and I'd still be the happiest man on the planet with you."

You started to tear up at his words and your face felt like it was on fire. How were you this lucky on having such a gentle, caring man in your life? "I-I thank you for those kind words JoJo, but does me not being a traditional male bother you at all? I'm not as strong and masculine compared to you..I'm far from what society says as an ideal man." "Y/N, you've brought me the most love that no other man could ever replicate. As much as I adore your personality, being able to remind myself that I'm dating the most handsome man I've ever laid my eyes upon is a bonus. Who cares what society may think anyways? I wasn't one to obey all the constrictions of it too, why would you ever be an exception? Society changes all the time, back then I assure you that the 'ideal man' was the caveman that could start a fire the quickest. Maybe someday men like me will no longer be considered worthy of the public's attention and beautiful men with [hair color] hair and [eye color] eyes will be fawned over, so please don't compare yourself to me. You're still my favorite boy and the prettiest one I've met. You're a real man and I'll remind you everyday until it's engraved into your mind."

You could no longer hold in any tears, that's singlehandedly the sweetest thing someone has ever told you in your life. "JoJo, I love you so much. Thank you." You surprised him with a hug, arms locked tightly around his waist with your flushed face buried deep into his neck. "I love you too dear, you deserve to feel like you're enough." And with that said, he gently placed his arms around you and gave you a little kiss on your forehead.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure phantom blood #jojo's bizarre adventure #jonathan joestar #jonathan joestar x reader #jjba x reader #jjba part 1 #phantom blood #phantom blood x reader #x trans reader #jonathan Joestar x trans reader #jonathan Joestar x Transmasc reader #x Transmasc reader #jojo x reader

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golbrocklovely · 3 years

Text

colby's halloween costumes 2013-2020

certain things that i planned to post fell through, but luckily for me an anon asked "I feel like you'd be the one capable of doing this. Can you make a compilation separately of Sam and Colbys costumes over the years?" and since it fits right in with what i've been posting, i figured i would post this instead of what i was planning to post because not everything works in my favor, apparently lol

so now i present to you, colby's halloween costumes thru the years

(i might have missed one or two, but i'm pretty sure this is all of them)

also... i'm gonna rate them for shits and gigs lol

here's a bonus one out the gate. apparently, he dressed up as andy biersack back somewhere in between (what i think is) 2010-12

honestly.... he kinda just looks like any kid that shopped at a mixture of hot topic, spencers, and zumiez so... i guess that can work for andy sixx

rating: 2/5 literally just looks like something he and i would wear now lol

starting off in 2013, colby had an... interesting choice of a costume. i think he's supposed to be a sexy lumberjack.

i'll be honest, even tho the costume itself isn't anything more than clothes he already owned, the idea is interesting. so i'll give him the benefit of the doubt with this one. also... he looks like a baby so i have to forgive him.

rating: 3/5, cute, kinda silly, much like his younger self lol

while i couldn't find out what costume sam wore in 2014, colby apparently dressed up as a... vampire baseball player???? it's hard to tell what exactly he's going for. bc in one photo he's wearing the fangs, and then in the other he now has on a royals shirt (i'm pretty sure he went to a royals game... but still i'm confused lmao)

while i don't understand what he's trying to be, i give him props for it. also it's the only time he wore fangs and tried to look like a vampire so... i guess i'll take what i can get.

rating: 3/5 just for the fact that he was a vampire alone. also contacts are a bitch so he deserves some credit for that.

in 2015 he and sam dressed in a couples costume. they were mario and luigi.

the fact that both of the boys used black tape instead of buying suspenders... is still funny and weird to me. plus they got the outfits wrong.

but again, i'm giving them the benefit of the doubt with these costumes bc i can see the attempt.

rating: 2/5, dumb costume, but an enjoyable execution lol

2016 was the beginning of colby using face makeup to have that skull face thing. he also rewore the sexy lumberjack costume.

sorry for the trash taylor jumpscare.

i think the face makeup and the eyeliner really brings out his eyes. i don't think it looks that bad, and it's kinda cute to some degree. the sexy lumberjack costume got more matchy so that's fun. both costumes are lazy, but in basically the same way. but at least the face makeup took time lol

skull face rating: 3/5

sexy lumberjack repeat rating: 2/5

2017 he had no costume because he was in egypt with tfil.

2018, i would say, was the most interesting costume he has worn in recent years. it's so fucking weird, but i kinda love it for that reason.

idk what strain of ~devil's lettuce~ he smoked to either make this outfit or think up this outfit, but... give me some next time when i can't come up with something creative lol while this costume is barely a costume, the fact that he straight wore a pig on his head is just hilarious to me. i need to know so much about this costume. did he come up with it himself? did he make it? did someone else make it for him? does he still have a piggy headband? can i have it if he does?

rating: 10/5 so fucking stupid i love him lmao

i think 2019 was weirdly confusing as a costume, but it made sense once 'country road' came out.

i'm assuming his costume is an emo cowboy. yallternative if you will

at the time it didn't make sense, but i will say this is probably the hottest he's looked in a costume. and again, i gotta be honest, i love eyeliner on him. it brings out his eyes and also it's hot.

this is what happens when pete wentz has been your crush since you were 10 years old.

rating: 4/5, creative, kinda lazy but in a fun way

and finally for 2020, he repeated himself once more and dressed up as a skull face. but fun fact (and i completely forgot this happened) there was video of him, sam, and kat on some bus being driven somewhere with other ppl dressed up. his costume was just... his harness??? and idk if he was really wearing anything else that would be considered a costume. knowing him, he probably just called himself the dark lord or christian gray or some weird shit lol

while i think the face makeup this time around is nicer, repeating the same costume again... super fucking lazy.

i was literally thinking about this the other day, but he could easily make a grim reaper costume out of the clothes he has, by the weapon from a halloween store, and that would be more interesting than him painting a skull on his face.

throwing a bunch of random shit you have in your closet isn't a costume colby !!

skull face rating: 2/5

bondage/whatever the fuck he was dressed as rating: 0/5 no effort whatsoever

overall: if colby doesn't do something crazy this year with his costume... i'm flying to california, showing up at his house, and fighting him in his garage. mark my fucking words yall. how can you say halloween is your favorite holiday/time period, but not even remotely dress up??? you have all the fucking money colby, use it !! dress up like sora from kingdom hearts you pussy lmao

#colby brock #personal #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween #sam golbach #sam and colby

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allbrainrot · 3 years

Note

Hi! First, i love your writing🥺 Now to the point. How about felix, sylvain and dimitri pinning after the female reader? We are basically yeeting ingrid and placing a fem reader instead😂 Like, they are childhood friends and the three of them have had a lovestruck for her since they were kids? And now they just end up fighting for her love or smth? Either hdcns or an scenario is fine! You can pick whichever you wish! However if you dont want to write this req please dont feel forced to! Love u🥺

Thank you so much!! 🖤 And yes, you got it! Bye Ingrid LMAO 😎😎 I write pre timeskip wayyy better so I’m gonna just say that reader is 18 (i don’t write NSFW or anything but age is still a thing lol) so that they’re in between the ages of Dimi + Felix & Sylvain and it works out, hope you don’t mind! I love you too anon 🥺

- Dimi is probably the first one to catch feels when they’re kids! Felix does too but he’s kinda just like wtf is this??? until someone teases him about it. Sylvain is quite ✨special✨ with romance but I think he’d be inclined to trust you a lot more because you’ve known him since you were teeny tiny before you even knew wtf a crest was! So he probably also catches feels when you’re kids but then he goes through his whole girl phase SIGH

- None of them realize their predicament until they all see you again at the officer’s academy together. I wouldn’t say they’re super obvious about it, but they’re teenagers (well Syl isn’t but shhhhh) who all like the same person so they’re going to pick up on each other’s crushes while reader remains ignorant. It’s not an issue that needs to be addressed immediately, but they’re all watching each other cautiously.

- Syl would have a massive head start on flirting with you, but he’s faced with the big issue that you don’t believe he’s being genuine and brush him off. Felix is constantly challenging you to duels to get close to you and also have alone time with you, although the other 2 will occasionally ruin his plans and insist on joining. Ah man bby Dimitri would probably come across as a little overbearing because he’s very protective of you and is constantly offering to do things for you. He’s just a mother hen that’s whipped for you and doesn’t know any other way to express it!

- When it comes to the 4 of you sitting together at lunch or in class, Sylvain is the worst. He’s very aware that his competition is far less bold than him, and so he’s making sure he’s always closest to you. Will squish as close to you as humanly possible HE WOULD DEADASS PUT YOU IN HIS LAP IF HE COULD 😭 If he puts a hand on your thigh or an arm around you it’s a wholeass declaration of war.

- Felix will likely become much more protective which may cause a lot of yelling at you for being careless or weak, but really he’s just so worried! To ease his mind, he’ll help you correct your mistakes himself (which has the added bonus of getting really close to you and occasionally lowkey holding hands when he adjusts your grip). Around other people, especially Dimitri and Sylvain he’ll be evidently sweeter to you to get the message across. A blended mix of jealousy and concern will make him very protective of you around the other two. Dimitri is not getting within 5 feet of you while guard dog Felix is around.

- In the Blue Lions the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife everyone is thoroughly confused but frankly just sick of it lol. Felix glaring at Dimitri? That’s totally normal but Dimitri is doing it back AND Sylvain is added to the weird stare off- wtf happened?? Byleth would have to talk to them after class and be like guys what in the goddess’s name happened 😭 They’ll all give a vague answer that doesn’t give away that it’s about you and each one of them has a jab at the others to shift the blame..please find your chill lads !

- At this point everything gets a little bit needier because they’ve all had this pent up yearning but have been blocked by the others. (If you’re ok with it) Sylvain will just randomly peck you on the cheek or your forehead when he sees you and you’re just like LOL ok ✨typical Sylvain✨ But when you sit next to him at lunch or in class he’s started very tenderly holding your hand under the table and you’re like huh ok that’s a little odd. If Dimitri is on the other side of you he will carefully take your other hand in retaliation. Felix will probably give in and do the same but he’ll snatch your hand a lot more aggressively and look away from you with a scowl and a blush.

- Dimi and Felix are both touch starved AF and would very much appreciate cuddles or any physical contact. If you’ve reacted positively to everything thus far, Dimitri will slowly start to bite the bullet and initiate affection because he wants it so bad. Any time you touch Dimitri, he gets sappy and lovey af and will express his adoration in hopes that you’ll keep giving him affection. Felix would never upfront ask for affection but he just kinda sits really close to you and glares at you with a little pout and you will have to realize that this is Felix language for ‘it is a crime that you aren’t cuddling me rn’.

- Obviously Sylvain gets lots of physical contact with women but I don’t ever see it as holding affection yknow?? Like yeah he spends a night or two with chicks after them crest babies™️ (i cannot take myself seriously this sentence is so funny-), but I don’t really think that they’ve done actual cuddling or casual displays of affection like petting someone’s hair because they likely don’t care too much for Sylvain and will just do the bare minimum. So in a way, Sylvain is also starved of affectionate touches and he would very much appreciate the little things that no one else has done for him. It’s new and scary for him to actually seek romantic attention, but he’s still pretty bold, just not very tactful when it comes to you lol. If you’re sitting by yourself on a bench he will not hesitate to sprawl himself out on top of you with his head in your lap and stare up at you with an innocent grin. Is also lowkey not embarrassed to whine or pester you?? His reputation is pretty hopeless at this point so what does he have to lose by sitting behind you in class and poking you while dramatically whining about you not paying attention to him?

- Attention is a huge deal to Sylvain. It’s one of the main things he’s looking for when he randomly flirts with people at the monastery. He can’t handle being ignored and that leads him to often seek many girls at once so that he always has attention when one is busy. But when it comes to you he finds himself in deep shit because once he’s gotten a little bit from you, everyone else seems minuscule and with others he only receives a mere fraction of the satisfaction he gets from being with you. So he’s gradually allotting more and more time to you until he hardly talks to any other girl. But Sylvain is used to being the one that everyone wants more of, so when he finds himself in the shoes of the smitten women that piss him off, he’s plagued by the worry that you’ll think he’s overly needy. So he comes to seek validation from you too. If he can just get you to comb your fingers through his hair or give him a kiss on the cheek then he can renew his confidence in trying to court you.

- Dimi is somewhat similar but for different reasons and in different ways. Dimitri has practically no experience with romance so he’s extremely smitten and has an overwhelming desire for the affection you give him that he’s never had. But he’s painfully aware of how extreme his feelings are in comparison to any other couples he may have seen at the monastery, and he’s terrified that he’ll scare you away if he expresses exactly how much he yearns for you. So Dimitri is always very visibly holding back much like he often holds back his strength. Dimi will do anything for you or with you, but you have to initiate it so he can be certain that he’s not smothering you. On days where he’s extremely lovey and never wants to let go of you (which is kind of often lol) he will constantly ask if you’re sure that he’s not bothering you. He is just so horrified at the thought of messing up whatever it is you have.

- Felix will be very easily overwhelmed by you, so it’s much better if you wait to cuddle up to him until you can both go to one of your rooms. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be touched, he does, but his feelings for you make him way too vulnerable for his liking, so he’s not going to want anyone else around. Felix is still Felix and he goes off to take out his feelings in the training grounds every free day, but has started occasionally coming to your room when he’s done for the day and receiving his required cuddle time away from prying eyes. He may have accidentally fallen asleep with you a couple times..

- You’ve probably snuck in to sleep in Dimi’s room on occasions when he’s dangerously sleep deprived. The man, the myth, the legend Dedue would definitely help sneak you in because he knows it does Dimi a lot of good. Dimitri is able to fall asleep with you practically on top of him in his grasp. Feeling your heartbeat close by and your hair beneath his head and hearing you breath peacefully is enough to ground him from his fear of losing you too. He’ll still have nightmares, trauma is a bitch, but when you’re there you can bring him back down and he’ll eventually be able to fall back to sleep (which he typically can’t do alone). It’s not a perfect night’s sleep, but it’s enough to keep Dimi functional and that’s what you’re there for. He’ll thank you a million times and unnecessarily apologize for the inconvenience, please do what you can to reassure him that he’s not a nuisance to you.

- SIGH Sylvain, this god damn silly little goose, is extremely distressed by his feelings for you and even moreso by his developed neediness. It honestly kinda scares the shit out of him to realize he’s whipped for someone and at a loss for a way to ask you out. He’s used to having that power, to have someone’s feelings in the palm of his hand where he can do anything he wants. Genuinely trying to figure out how he would court someone is a frightening new thing for him and he’s suddenly on a playing field where he doesn’t have his experience or his power to shield himself with. So he reverts to his old ways to try to get a handle on his fear and have his confidence boosted back up. But of course, Syl still wants all the attention he can get from you so you so he spends all of the day with you, then does his other girl bullshit at night! It doesn’t go as smoothly as planned though..Sylvain is used to being yelled at by crying girls, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that he ignores them all day and drops by whenever he feels like it, and he ends up getting in some pretty nasty arguments that do not help his already vulnerable state. So it’s like 2 AM and Sylvain’s feeling like a sorry sack of potatoes and just wants to be held by someone and talk until falling asleep in their arms. And there’s only one person who Sylvain wouldn’t mind being open with and who could provide him genuine comfort..and you’re the lucky winner of the ‘Sylvain on your doorstep at 2 AM’ lottery!! Unless your sleep schedule is wack you’re gonna be all groggy like hey uhh wtf Syl??? And that is how the occasional nights that Sylvain falls asleep in your room happen!

- If the 3 of these scenarios interfere with each other ummmmmmmmm no they didn’t 😳

Ok! That’s where I’m leaving off because I don’t want to try to write endings with you picking one of them it just makes me kinda sad LMAO. Bro omg it’s the return of the ridiculously long Allister fics she do be goin a little insane though 😳 But for real I’ve been gradually adding to this for like?? a week? And I just kept picking cute relationship milestones or whatever in my walnut brain and writing a point for each of them so that the 3 of them are equally written. So it might not line up perfectly but I hope you like it!!

#fe3h dimitri x reader #fe dimitri x reader #dimitri x reader #sylvain x reader #fe3h sylvain x reader #fe3h felix x reader #felix hugo fraldarius x reader #fire emblem felix x reader #three houses reader insert #three houses x reader #fe3h x reader #fe3h reader insert #fe3h fanfic #fire emblem three houses x reader #fire emblem x reader #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #felix hugo fraldarius #sylvain jose gautier

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kidney9-9 · 3 years

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Gift Wars - Peter Parker

hello! i’m back! going to try to start posting more now :) but i had some writer’s block for a while. thank you guys for staying here and giving me love! you are all so sweet and i hope you’re doing good

Anonymous asked:

Could you write something about the reader getting Peter an inappropriate keychain that says; I love you for who you are, but that dick sure is a bonus? And he opens the present in front of may and she asks Peter what did he get?

Thank you for sending this in!! This request made me laugh so much, thank you again :) Masterlist is linked in bio, requests are open, tags in the reblog

Peter Parker x Reader [Fluff/Funny] Warnings: Swearing, sex joke Word Count: 1.3k

When Peter got a gift from you, he was confused. It was a small box, and a note attached to it as well. You put a small winky face on the note, along with writing a sweet “Love ya! Happy Holidays!” on it. He grinned down to it though, happy that you got him a gift.

You both had an off and on prank war for gifts. It started out with Peter getting you a pair of stinky socks and the Bee movie soundtrack CD for your birthday. He remembers how confused you were as you held the disgusting socks in front of you with a disturbed look on your face.

Then, on his birthday, you gave him a large package, just filled with already popped bubble wrap and a melted candle with a picture of Bob Duncan. It made Peter laugh so much, he ended up crying. From then on, every gift was a joke.

Sure, sometimes you would gift him something sweet and so would he, but this was more memorable.

So, this year for the holidays, Peter was suspicious. It couldn’t be so bad. After the gifts you got him for Halloween, it couldn’t top it off at all. Right? He was seated next to Aunt May when he started to open it.

You weren’t there at the moment, instead you were at the Compound, where Peter was going to meet you later.

Aunt May shuffled in her seat, looking at her phone instead of paying attention of what Peter was doing. He slowly opened the box, after tearing off the annoying tape on it.

Oh fuck.

No fucking way, he shook his head in surprise.

“What...” He muttered to himself, as he lifted to large keychain. It was so bizarre, he forgot how to breathe. It was a large oddly shaped dick with hearts along the balls. The tip of the keychain cock had been painted pink as well, and Peter finally busted into silent laughter, shaking.

He didn’t even read what the other side of the keychain said! He turned it over, overly aware that Aunt May could look over to him. He couldn’t let her see it. It was so bad; Peter wouldn’t even know how to explain everything to her.

He cupped his hand over it as he read the words, “I love you for who you are, but that dick sure is a bonus.” His jaw dropped in shock. His face turned a dark red as he tried to contain his laughter again, as he saw Aunt May glance at him through the corner of his eye.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, unaware of what happened. She looked back at her phone again when it dinged with a message, and Peter’s shoulders relaxed.

“Nothing!” He stammered loudly. You and Aunt May got along great! He couldn’t ruin your relationship by showing what you got for him to Aunt May. That would just cause so much awkwardness between the three of you.

It wasn’t like she didn’t know that you two were having sex, but it still bugged Peter if he was in the room with you and Aunt May during a short steamy scene of a movie you were watching. Just like when Aunt May laughed to when Tony mentioned something about getting you and Peter the same room while on mission. It was just weird, and if Aunt May were to see this, it would be even more strange.

“You sure? What is it?” She hummed out, gazing back to Peter. He shrugged back, shaking his head repeatedly.

When Peter didn’t answer, Aunt May glanced down to his hands, noticing he was holding something. “What is that? Is it the gift that Y/n gave you?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, uh, it is.” Peter responded after a moment of trying to calm down. His nerves were all over the place. The gift was fucking funny, but Aunt May being there? No, it made everything unfunny and he was so close to blanking out and running out of the room.

“That was sweet of her to get you something early. What did she get you?” She stood up as she talked. Peter bit his lip in worry, trying to come up with something, but it was so hard.

Aunt May’s eyes narrowed back to him, now knowing something was up. “What’s going on?” She asked as she crossed her arms. Peter let out a laugh, slipping the keychain into his pocket, trying to keep it hidden.

“Well- uh, it’s just, I’m- Y/n got me a ring to symbolize how long we’ve been together. And to be honest, I really wanted to get her a ring first. And this ring’s the wrong size.” Peter rambled; face still red as the lies poured out.

The closest thing to rings you both got each other, was the bracelet the two of you made together. You usually gave it to Peter when he’d go on missions, and he’d give it back to you when you had to leave for the solo ones as well.

“Excuse me? Y/n proposed to you? I need to see the ring!” Aunt May shrieked out loud, dropping her phone. Peter gurgled out a strange noise of confusion and bizarreness. Fuck, he did not mean that. Propose? Marriage?

Fuck no.

Not now at least.

“No! I don’t want you to see it!” Peter yelped back, clamping down on his jean pocket, trying to protect it. He couldn’t let Aunt May see this horrifying keychain. One being, she would be confused. Two, she would know Peter lied. Three, it’s a fucking cock keychain.

“What, why?” She responded, thoroughly confused. Her excitement was dulled now, and Peter sighed, trying to find another lie. Fuck, he shouldn’t have opened this near her.

“It’s private. We didn’t want people to know about it. There’s a surprise party in a few weeks- uh, I think.” He retorted, and in his surprise, she backed away.

“Oh… that’s cute I guess.” Aunt May spoke up, shrugging. Peter felt himself melt with guilt. How was he supposed to tell her that he wasn’t actually engaged, and that you didn’t propose. He didn’t like lying to her either, it was just a whole mixture of guilty feelings. Last time he lied to her, he ended up telling her the next day.

He stood up, leaning down to pick her phone up. He didn’t mean to look at it, but the messages were open. The brightness of the screen pulled his eyes to each text and he knitted his eyebrows together in odd confusion when he saw your name on the top. He scanned the texts in an instant.

You: What’s going on now? Did he open it?

Aunt May: Yeah he just did. What did you get him? He’s freaking out

You: Lmao a keychain from Vegas

“What? This was- you knew?!” Peter cried out in surprise, passing the phone to Aunt May. She instantly started laughing, bending down as Peter continued to freak out, shaking his head.

“How!” He continued, and she snorted, locking her phone and put it in her pocket. He didn’t realize you would do something like that, and he had to admit that was funny. But it was also really embarrassing. He didn’t want Aunt May to know what the keychain was.

“So, you know what it is?” He finally asked, groaning in awkwardness.

“No clue. But what is it?” Aunt May replied, humming in thought. She obviously knew it was a dumb gift, but Peter still didn’t want to show her.

“Nothing!” He shouted, and finally ran to his room to get away from that embarrassing encounter. He shut his door with a sigh as he tugged his phone out of his pocket. The fact you did that made him want to cringe so bad, but he was happy Aunt May never found out what it was. And it was funny, he couldn’t help but admit it.

But now, he had some planning to do to get you back, with the dumbest gift ever.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #love you all!!#thank you for reading :)#kidney9-9

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tobi-momo · 3 years

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1-A Boys Watching Kakegurui with You

LMAO this came to me out of literally nowhere laskhflkjfgldhgv I cant with myself- Todoroki: -would be ✨utterly✨ confused -like- where are the teachers, and how does the student council have THAT much authority?? -the first episode was so weird for him but he kept a straight face and dealt with the pain -he doesnt have a favorite character- hates all of them but Ryota and Midari more lol -the episode where Midari did her thang in the bathroom stall he looked away lol -he felt so AWKWARD SPKDLJG -honeslty by the end he would expect everything that happens just be disappointed??? -he always lays/sits with you and just tucks his head in your shoulder and groans when there is something he doesnt wanna see - 4/10 super funny but awkward Bakugou: -I feel like he would act be really grossed out -ESPECIALLY when Midari was in the bathroom or when Yumeko orgasms every gamble LOL -kinda fucked with the opening tho -the first episode wasnt that weird for him, he didnt particularly like it, but he didnt hate it either -he DESPISES Ryota- like hates him with a passion -he would get surprised a LOT -gets annoyed at the fact the Yumeko basically gets it everytime -when Midari gambled with Yumeko for the first time, he got a little excited but after Midari ✨spilled her juices✨ all over everything he actually laughed -like he was grossed out and he thought it was weird but he couldnt stop laughing -i dont think he likes anyone either although i think Mary might be his favorite just because shes the most rational (??) -overall- he doesnt have an opinion on it at all- he doesnt care about it -thought it was funny :p Kaminari: -hes the one that recommended it to you lMAO -he thought it was gonna be a normal shoujo with a twist -boy was he wrong -he was so shocked its not even funny -"BABE- WHAT IS SHE DOING" -this man would be clueless and confused the entire time -he would try to "protect" you from weird ass scenes by by covering your eyes or covering you with the blanket but he ended covering himself up half the time LOL -yall couldnt finish it -he got scarred -dont get me wrong; he like the guys and the girls and the girls and the guys but he couldnt take anymore -100% turned derpy -0/10 dont scar our baby Mydoria: -lets just face it- you wouldn't watch it at all -hes too precious -hes not totally innocent obviously but you wouldnt let him watch it HAH -he wanted to but since youve already seen it you were like -"Baby, you dont want to" -he wanted to. -you showed him the first episode -hes a flustered mess -by the time he saw the panties in the opening he was GONE -you just laughed LMAO Tokoyami: -lmao yall would be rewatching it -he had already seen it -you had already seen it -you guys thought it was good, and the opening slaps so yall watched it again and made a bunch of commentary on it -overall a really good time BONUS: THE WHOLE CLASS WATCHING IT TOGETHER WITH YOU -only you, baku, toko, shoji, tsuyu, jirou, and ojiro knew what yall were getting into -most of them came anyways bc yall wanted to see everyones reaction -and LET ME TELL YOU -uraraka walked out with koda -mina was kind of into it- nudging into kirishima and wrinkling her eyebrows at him constantly -aoyama was inlove with it- sat in the front -shoji laughed in the back -todoroki and momo look at each other then look away in embarrassment LOL -although they were both really curious cuz like- gambling is illegal in japan so how would they be doing this??? -overall 7/10 very chaotic experience i say

#mha fluff #mha #bnha #bnha fluff #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #todoroki #todoroki shouto #midoriya #deku #midoryia izuku #tokoyami #class 1A #fluff #kaminari #kaminari denki #yaomomo's gf

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fwibblefwobble · 4 years

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modern!au single dad tomioka giyuu: a concept

modern!giyuu x reader headcanons

so a few days ago i was up late texting a friend and went wild with the idea of him as a single father in a modern!au... here’s a collection of my ravings

warning: light profanity

- you two live two doors down from each other in your apartment complex

- you quite literally bump into him on your way back in from work

- he’s like ack i’m sorry and helps stabilize you

- never really noticed you lived so close and keeps an eye on your door whenever he’s on his way in/out

- one time he’s just spacing out and staring at your unit and you walk out and make eye contact with him

- he’s like oh shit

- you’re confused but you just assume he spaced out and don’t ask

- he has somewhere to be but he goes back inside and waits until he knows you’re out of the building

- just waits with his head in his hands like what the fuck

- his daughter’s like ???? you good????

- he’s like fine yeah 200% buttercup don’t worry about it

- proceeds to worry about it for the next week

- the next time you meet he’s checking the mail after a morning run

- light sheen of sweat and jacket rolled up to his elbow, some sweet forearm action

- it’s a sunday morning after you went out with friends and you look a lil trashed cause you spent the night at their apartment and came back early in the morning

- your mascara’s kinda flaky and you did a half-assed job at washing your face but you didn’t expect to run into Hot Neighbor™

- he greets you and hopes that you forgot about the thing that happened a week ago

- if anything your mind is occupied by why the hot single dad two doors down is giving you butterflies

- he does the thing where he pushes the hair in front of his face back

- its hot in a post workout sweat kinda way

- casual conversation ensues again in the elevator

- you bring up something about you being a ta at a local uni getting her masters

- he’s like not to capitalize on your talents but would you mind tutoring my kid for a day, i have to work overtime at the office on thursday and all my friends are booked

- assures you his kid is a very well behaved lovely girl, you’re apprehensive because children but also yes sure i have nothing better to do

- my guy has her room decorated

- whatever color she wants he paints it for her

- she has her own lil window with fake plants cause she can’t quite take care of real ones yet

- you and his daughter hang out after you help her with homework, watch tangled for like 2 hours and make dinner together

- she doesn’t do much because children with knives is not a good idea but you make her feel like she’s contributing to the team

- lots of high fives and good jobs, makes her feel very important

- he comes back home so fucking exhausted but he sees you and his kid on the couch passed the fuck out and oh my god

- he has half a mind not to drop his shit right there and join you

- against his will he wakes you up and you’re embarrassed like oh my god i’m so sorry i fell asleep in your apartment cuddling your daughter

- he’s so in love lmao that image of you and his kid lives in his head rent free

- he’s kinda breathless thinking about it

- once you’re safely back in your own apartment he tucks his girl in and makes sure not to wake her up

- lays in his bed just like wow

- you guys talk the next day and you’re still apologizing profusely, you feel so weird and you can’t look him in the eye

- he insists on at least getting you lunch, you guys settle on dinner at a local place that’s not too fancy

- putting yourself together before the pseudo not date but kinda date is The Strugglebus Saga

- you get in a facetime with like 5 of your friends trying to figure out what to do

- tiptoeing the fine line between date and not really date, what’s too comfy and what’s too casual

- “is red my color? does he like red lipstick? is lipstick too much?”

- he kinda hears you cause the walls are just the tiniest bit thin but it’s cute cause he’s having a tiny crisis of his own

- arranges shinobu to take care of his baby while he’s gone

- his daughter helps him get dressed it’s so cute

- “ARE YOU GOING ON A DATE???”

- he’s like no...?

- “dad, that isn’t your color.”

- confidence lowkey destroyed but it’s ok

- wears his lucky socks his daughter gave him for father’s day for good luck

- it’s a very cute and chill date, he picks you up at your door and the both of you are nervous cause it’s been a while since you’ve put yourselves out there

- it’s a tiny bit awkward in the beginning but as you guys ease up a bit it’s all good laughter and banter

- he doesn’t want you to know he heard you freaking out but he makes sure to tell you that you look nice just as subconscious validation

- both of you are a lil sad when the main date portion is over so you guys decide to get ice cream and walk around after

- and wow is it just me or do the lights get brighter when he’s around???

- he thinks the exact same thing

- he hasn’t felt this alive in a very long time

- you guys split the bill for the main date but he pays for your ice cream cause he’s a big gentleman

- and when you guys say bye to each other he walks into his apartment, closes the door and lets out this sigh

- he turns around and its his daughter and shinobu both giving him The Look™ and he just refuses to acknowledge it

- you go home and scream a little bit

- your ears are hot and your cheeks are burning but you can’t stop *smiling*

- gotta rub your cheeks a lil to soothe the pain

- by now you guys have each other’s phone numbers and text each other that you had a good time before you each go to sleep and both of you are smiling at your phones like absolute idiots

- the next time you see each other is completely by accident

- you’re at a bookstore browsing and you see him around the corner with some flowers tucked under his arm looking through some stationery or stuffed animals

- and you’re like?? flowers??? does he have someone did i misinterpret that whole entire outing was that just out of courtesy and not cause he was interested in me

- but he says hi and strikes up a conversation

- you kinda timidly ask about the flowers and he’s like oh! i saw these when i was coming home from work and i remember walking by the florist with my daughter and she said these were her favorite flowers so i was thinking of surprising her when i got home

- as if your heart could swell with any more love for this man

- the love in his heart and his attention for DETAIL?? unparalleled. he is TOP TIER

- and at that point you’ve been over close to a dozen times, his daughter’s a smart cookie she doesn’t even need tutoring but ever since you looked after her she keeps on asking him if he can invite the pretty lady next door

- he asks you and you are more than accommodating, that girl is an absolute angel

- elects to leave out the part where she called you his girlfriend

- not quite there yet but maybe someday

- he catches you and her singing the mulan soundtrack with plastic hairbrushes once and it’s adorable domestic ass shit

- you’re 200% down to listen to this girl talk about elementary school drama

- honestly better than half the shit that happens at uni

- giyuu asks you to cover for him at pta meetings and all the other moms are very disappointed to see you instead of regularly scheduled eye candy

- if marissa looks at me like that one more time i swear we’re gonna scrap

- when you tell him about it he’s absolutely oblivious to the fact that every single mom is in love with him

- he just thought they were nice, nothing more to it

- kinda really pissed that they treated you like shit and next time he goes AND brings you

- absolute power move, suck my ass bethany

BONUS FIRST KISS HYPOTHETICALS:

- happens very organically, both of you don’t even register it until it hits

- both of you are like fuck!!

- he’s like are you okay with it?

- and you’re like yeah 200% but are you okay with it?

- he’s like yeah of course

- and both of you say yeah and nod to each other back and forth until you take the initiative and pull him in again

- lowkey making out in the elevator

- your hands are all up in his hair and *wow this is exhilarating*, like his heart is full to burst

- and when he comes home his daughter’s like are you ok? your hair’s kinda messed up and stuff

- he’s like yeah it looked like this when i left

- she looks at him funny, like it definitely did not

- he’s just at a complete loss for words he’s trying to hide your lip gloss smeared on his face and his head is a lil woozy

- and he just gestures for a minute

- flails his arms weakly

- “yeah... uh... it’s, uh... wind.”

#tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #demon slayer #Kimetsu no Yaiba #kimetsu giyuu #tomioka giyū #one of my favorite authors ever followed me and it gave me the push to put this out lol

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