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#hilarious that ronan was like. yes declan go talk down a woman that doesn’t like u and no one asked … literally jrodan?
spiltscribbles · 5 years
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combo of 7 & 8 for pynch hehe :)
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.-
“It’s the last straw! I’m done! I’m over it!” Blue stabs the spoon into her yogurt, teeth clenched, and knuckles white. Adam, like the good friend he is, just calmly slides it out of her hand and gives her a banana instead.
“She’s not that bad of a roommate,” he tells her with a one armed shrug. The look she shoots him can only be described as the personification of betrayal. Adam can’t believe it’s the third time he’s rolled his eyes at her and it hasn’t hit nine in the morning yet.
“They were naked Adam! Nude! Birthday suits!”
“The biblical state,” Henry tacks on and Blue nods along graciously.
Make it four times before nine in the morning.
“It’s Orla…. She’s eccentric
“It was on the couch! I sit on that couch Adam!” blue hits her hand against the table, fully indignant now.
“I really would recommend having it at the very least steam cleaned before partaking in that activity  again,” Henry advises sagely as he takes a sip of his coffee.
“Oh no! No way! I will never sit on that couch another day of my life!”
“Glad to see you’re taking this reasonably,” Adam says, voice blithe, as he brings their cereal bowls to the sink.
“Don’t start with me Adam! You haven’t seen the things I have! The freckles and birthmarks— The hair.” Blue shutters and henry slings an arm around her slim shoulders in comfort, clucking his tongue all the while.
Fifth…. It’s been the fifth time now.
“So how do you reckon you’ll live in there without sitting on the couch ever again?” He needles with a quirked brow, fully having decided to just fall into the dramatics. It’s always easier for him at the end of the day  when just excepting it.
“I’m moving out! Duh.”
“Oo, My Blueberry is becoming her very own American woman!” Henry preens. “Let me get you a chic new outfit Sabrina style!”
“That movie is sexist and culturally appropriates middle eastern garb.” Blue sniffs.
“Good to know that the new Blue has still got all her old spunk.”
“You’re both ridiculous,” Adam tells them, lips pinched.
“We bring bursts of color into your otherwise stale existence,” Blue argues loftily.
“Ridiculous,” Adam repeats with feeling.
“Lying doesn’t become you my dear Henrietta Prince,” Henry tells him far too frankly before turning his attention back to Blue. “You know you’ve got a place here if you want it.”
“Where?” Blue snorts. “In your living room?”
“Our couch doesn’t have naked Orla germs,” Adam offers halfheartedly. 
Blue just levels him with a unimpressed look, and Adam’s got flashbacks to junior year when Maura caught the pair of them getting drunk off Persephone’s peach wine coolers.
It’s terrifying.
“Charming. But no need, I’ve already begun sifting around for places nearby that are looking for a new roommate.”
Adam takes the papers she’s already printed off and begins shuffling through them.
“This one has like five cats,” he tells her with a curled lip.
“It sounds homey.”
“You’re allergic,” Adam rebukes. 
“I’m desperate Adam!” Blue reminds him.
“This one has a picture of him wearing a MAGA hat on his facebook profile pic,” Henry informs her, holding a second listing.
“Okay not that desperate,” Blue crumples it up and tosses it to the side. Adam would tell her to throw it in the trash like an adult but reasons she’s having a moment. 
“Mmm, what about this one,” she waves around the paper and Henry takes it to look over himself.
“It’s with three random dudes.”
“Three normal looking dudes,” Blue presses. “And so to reiterate, I’m desperate.”
“Ted Bundy was a normal looking dude,” Adam charges, making Blue glare at him menacingly.
“Adam I can still see flesh in my nightmares!”
Sixth, sixth time he’s rolled his eyes. Jesus fucking Christ Adam is gonna be sent to an early grave because of  an aneurism from them.
.-
The problem is that when Blue sets her mind on something, not even the angels above can dissuade  her from it, so that’s why Adam spends his Saturday afternoon— the only one he’s had off from a shoot in literally three months— driving to some sketch apartment with her and Henry, in the latter’s abrasively flashy sports car. 
He feels like a fraud.
“Blueberry are you sure you put in the right address?” Henry asks, face scrunched in confusion once they cruise into the open parking spot in front of a dilapidated looking  manufacturing building.
Blue flickers her eyes back down towards her phone before glancing up with a sure nod. 
“Look it says Monmouth right over there on the sign near the front door. This’s the right place.” 
“Right place to get murdered,” Adam intones darkly. 
Blue only tosses him a glare before slipping out.
“Are we bad people for going along with this?” Henry asks Adam, his mouth downturned in concern.
“Nah, we were bad people long before this.” Adam assures him wryly  before following suit.
.-
“I don’t want a new roommate,” Ronan tells Gansey for the third time in the past hour. In turn, Gansey only rolls his eyes before trying to stuff the old pizza boxes into the trash can. God fucking damn it, Helen’s right, they do live like pigs.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Noah contends. “It’ll bring some new energy in this place.”
“Oy, what did I tell you about saying shit like energy and chakras.”
“That’s it’s something a douche hipster would say and you’d throw me out a window if you heard it again.”
“And yet.”
“All I can say to that is dude you need to clear your chakras.” Noah says, fully goading, and making it so an unexpected laugh tears out of Ronan, the total prick.
“For the love that is all holy and right, will you two please just attempt to act normal when she gets here.”
“It’s a girl?”
“A girl with models as friends,” Noah perks, completely beaming. “And you know what that means,” Noah winks and Ronan, for the good of the public, cuffs him on the back of the head. Hard.
“You fucking sly dog, how do you even know that?”
“Preliminary interview through the phone,” Noah shrugs. “She sounds nice, better than living with that guy with a pet snake.”
“That snake was fucking cool.” Ronan argues.
“There’s a one pet limit here, and your raven has taken the slot.” Gansey huffs, hand on his hip like Aurora would do if Ronan and Declan were being especially rowdy. “And Noah don’t ask about her model friends, that’s creepy.”
“That’s kind of my shtick man.” Noah points out, wide eyed.
“Less horror film creepy and more loser from Revenge of the Nerds creepy,” Gansey clarifies scoldingly.
Noah swallows down a lump, properly cowed.
It’s right then when the doorbell rings and Gansey frantically puts in the last of the empty cups into the dishwasher from the sink before scurrying to the doorway, Noah and Ronan on his heals.
Ronan knows he lost the battle and the war the moment the door swings open and the first thing the pixie sized, colorfully dressed girl says is a glowing “Blank 182?” While gesturing towards Noah’s… Well Noah’s everything.
Noah looks like the cat who’s gotten into the cream, Gansey looks more glowing than usual, and Ronan can’t take his eyes off the sandy haired boy she’s brought along with her.
.-
Living with Blue is a beast that Ronan can’t quite figure out how to defeat.
She, probably like any sane person, expects the house to be in some sort of semblance— aka no more jackets and other innocuous articles of clothing thrown about the shared living space, and for dishes to be rinsed after use and put into the dishwasher accordingly. 
“Your rooms can be as trashy as you want, but can we please not make the whole place a pigsty,” she had sniffed with a cocked head and jut out hip. Gansey of course nodded giddily— on account to his staring at her all moony ever since meeting her— Noah had shrugged, indifferent. But Ronan held out as long as possible, sneer on his lips. But alas, she met his every zig with a zag and he found himself in a stalemate.
But Ronan could deal with the tidiness and even the impromptu yoga sessions she holds with randoms from her classes at university. Hell he could deal with her weird obsession with Yogurt too, and can actually listen to her rants about the patriarchy and institutional blocks that keeps the impoverished and people of color and women down from being able to achieve feats once only meant for wealthy white men. Fuck, Ronan’s come to think her particular brand of spitfire humor is actually hilarious.
So yes all of this is fine. But with Blue comes them. Henry Cheng, best friend she met at some art class her freshman year. And fucking Adam Parrish, apparently someone she’s known for so long and so intimately that she refers to him as family more often than not.
And yeah. Ronan is not jealous and Noah needs to take that fucking sneer off his face.
“You’re jealous!”
“I am not jealous!” Ronan yells emphatically for the fifth time.
“Ronan has a crush!”
“Noah God so help me!” He threatens, totally venomous.
“You’re in loveee!” 
“Noah I will destroy you!”
.-
Okay so Ronan might be sorta, kinda, not jealous…. But bothered. Yes Bothered. He’s bothered because he can’t fucking figure out Blue and Adam’s deal. One second they’re sniping at one another about the economy and the next she’s lying her head in his lap while he’s carding a hand through her hair.
Fucking salacious shit.
But occasionally, on especially good days, Blue falls asleep early and instead of going back home right away, Adam stays. He stays and he shares a drink with Ronan on the porch and they talk about nothing really, but also a lot of things. Ronan find’s out he basically grew up with Blue, that she was his first everything. He’s deaf in his left ear and he didn’t mean to fall into modeling but he didn’t have enough money to finish the semester at MIT and instead of giving up he took up some side gigs which eventually culminated into a career of his own. 
Ronan finds out that Adam’s favorite flavor of ice cream is cow tracks and his front tooth is chipped from behind.  Adam has a small, crooked smile and when he laughs its more breath than sound and its absolutely lovely.
Ronan finds this all out but still has no idea whether he has a shot.
And again, he’s bothered.
.-
“I vote on something classic,” Blue tells them with a sip of her shake. (Read the shake Adam bought but Blue somehow still always drinks half of even while she complains about being on a diet, which then leads her to grouse about how Adam stays narrow and lithe even if he eats four quarter pounders back to back).
Sadly, this happened once and only once when Adam was especially stressed over a finals week and hadn’t eaten for literally three straight days. 
She really has seen him at his worst.
“Ooo, let’s watch some singing in the rain! I’m ready to belt out some toons.” Henry crows.
“Oh well if it includes your perfectly pitched singing,” Adam says flatly. Blue promptly elbow checks him and Henry waggles his tongue out.
“Sounds good to me Henry, so where?”
“Your place?” Adam says, brow kinked and trying to smother down the hopefulness in his voice. Of course, it doesn’t work. They know him better than anyone else, and they immediately stick him with matching smirks.
“Pray tell Parrish, me and you have the better entertainment system by far, and yet you’ve been insistent on heading to Blueberry’s place for our weekly movie nights for the past two months…. Hah, I wonder what two months signify?”
“Ooo ooo! I know Henry, I know!” Blue teases swinging her arm up high like an excited school girl. “I just moved into Monmouth and Then Adam over here got all slack jawed and goofily eyed over my scary roommate!”
“Blueberry gets the point!” Henry squawks, giving her a makeshift bracelet out of the straw wrapper.
Adam looks at them both with as much fury as he could muster, cheeks infused red, and jaw locked.
In retort, they only laugh ebulliently.
Adam is so tempted to make new friends.
.-
Ronan opens the door on a random Thursday afternoon a week later and Adam steels his nerves, not about to back down.
“Oh, ah Parrish.” His prominent brows furrow together, suspicious. “Maggot isn’t here yet.”
“I know,” Adam says, head tipped high. “Can I come in?”
Ronan only shrugs as he moves aside to give him the room to enter.
“You look like you have something squirming up your ass,” Ronan tells him, as blunt and as crass as ever.
Adam silently questions to the universe why is it that he’s so resoundingly attracted to him for that.
“You’re so eloquent with your words Lynch, you know that?” Adam tells him, completely flat, and making it so Ronan’s answering grin is something feral and amused.
“So you gonna just stand there looking pretty or actually get it out?”
“Jesus Christ, do you have an ounce of patience in your entire body?”
“I sweat it out at the gym, you wouldn’t know that skinny.” Ronan barbs, hip checking him while he struts to the kitchen.
Adam just glares after his form… His well built and deliciously broad shoulders.
“Still got enough muscle to beat your ass,” Adam teases and Ronan leers, impressed. Adam walks closer, magnetized. 
“So Blue’s enlightened me about something.”
Ronan hikes up a brow, betraying his mask of indifference.
“Is that right. What? Did Maggot make you understand that the hand holding and lovey-dovey looks are getting abrasive?”
Adam is utterly confused to what he’s talking about— Did he find out about the crush, and if so does that mean he’s already, wordlessly rejected Adam. Is Ronan completely uncomfortable right now.
Adam shakes off the questions, is determined to just plunge in for once in his life without beating a situation to death with analysis.
“She’s enlightened me that my crush on you is getting to ridiculous levels of yearning and i should just ask you out like an adult.”
A thousand different expressions pull at Ronan’s face until finding landing at something Adam can only call aw.
“Oh— Ah, wait. Wait do you like me?”
Adam rolls his eyes heavenwards. God he really is going to get an aneurysm.
“You are such a doofus,” Adam sighs before inkling his head forwards and kissing Ronan senseless.
Ronan grabs his head and presses impossibly closer.
.-
Later that night, when Henry and Blue march in with the decided upon movie they both begin to preen at the sight of them, exchange bills with Noah and Gansey too.
Again, Adam is going to be sent to an early grave. But hey, if in the meanwhile Ronan does that thing with his tongue, Adam will at least enjoy his final earthly days.
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