#hey look we may be evil but we're not gonna live like fucking savages in this castle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shinynewtoysyndrome · 7 years

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Previously on the Finale of Beywarriors: Cyborg, Part 1

Bran, the big bad: Sayonara, suckers. Hope you like Savage Destroyer! Don't feel too bad that your planet is a worthless piece of shit.

Ramon, el freaky fish guy: Language, amigo.

Abridger's note: Ramon is Hispanic here for obvious reasons. He wasn't Hispanic in the Toonami English dub.

Al: Fish guy got better abs than me. Alright fangirls. Forget blandie. Ship me with the fish guy!

Ramon: My name is Ramon. You're killing my homeworld. Prepare to feel our collective wrath.

Bran: As if. These human nations couldn't collude even if their lives depended on it.

Nico, in an over-the-top hero voice (which if you think about it is his normal everyday voice): THAT'S WHERE YOUR WRONG, FIEND.

Bran: You're lying, bland kid. Go home and, I dunno, emigrate to the Orb Union or something. You'd fit right in.

Nico: My patriotic fervor makes a nonsense of your obtuse attempts at making fun of my perceived lack of a personality.

Flame Trio, along with their Bey Warrior Bit Beast Cyborg thingies: 'Sup Vanilla.

Nico: I'm still not getting it. Why are you calling me that?

Flame Trio: Is it seriously not getting to you that we think you're bland.

Nico: Look, if we all took too much time on personal matters like you do, we're never gonna get the job done.

Al: Well that makes sense.

Flame Trio: A consummate professional. We respect that.

Nico: That's not what you said the other times.

Flame Trio: Just run and set the plan in motion. We've got this.

Nico: Good call.

Flame Trio: Nope, we don't got this.

Nico: Oh, come on. Do I have to do everything around here?

Flame Trio: Just go, you walking piece of cardboard.

Gai: You're not the only one who's got this.

Bran: Guy, I thought we had something evil together.

Gai: Oh, I've been saving such a redeemed hero speech for this.

Voiceover: Attention people of Teslandia. Apparently we've all been played like a bunch of suckers and the real enemy had always been that alien dude named bran. Uggghhh. He must dine on gluten and all that. Anyway, that trio of military dudes plus that burly vigilante guy are all playing hero.

Prime Minister of the Lightning State: Didn't we hire that no-nonsense cardboard kid to play our hero? Why hasn't he upstaged them yet #Lightin'FuckYeah

Ramon: Madre de Hydra Akheilos.

Nico: Okay, so we got Dragoon in place. What now.

Dr. Prost but now has Cryaotic's personality: Hey Blue. Red here and I were just about to use that blowhard's technology against him.

Nico: How long will it take?

Dr. Prost: It should be done by-

Sola: MOTOR SKILLS!

Dr. Prost: Agggghhhh

King August the Dramatic: Here I come for my heroic redemption arc.

Bran: So you're all betraying me left and right. Touching, you're all united now. Filthy swine.

King August the once bad but now good: Ahh, to be rounded and complex. Wouldn't you say. This is how heroes are meant to be. BYRONIC! EAT YOUR HEART OUT, uhh...

Marius: Nico, sire!

King August the temperamental: Smithers, release the Warriors!

Marius: Yes sir!

Bran: You can't win, I'm too powerful.

Nico: That's what you think!

Flame Trio, King, Smithers, and Gai: Great. Upstaged once again by off-brand Canadian hero product.

Bran: You were better off with Johnny Test.

Nico: The joke's on you because I have no idea what that is!

Nico: Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Bran: Awww, does widdle bland kid want to run home to his gramps.

Nico: I'm a brunet.

Everyone: YOU'RE A BLOND.

Bran: A dumb blond.

King August the Blond: I am offended by that.

Nico: Blond as in yellowish hair or bland as in nondescript and lacking in features.

Al: Darn it, why does everyone get to be a hero but me? I've got better abs than all these suckas.

Gai and Ramon: AHEM.

Nico: As if you need to be ripped to be a hero.

Gai: You bit thingy may be stronger than me, but I can still make things haaaa-

Gai: SHIT WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH.

Nico: I know right?

King August the Observant: We dented it.

Gere of the Flame Trio: We'll dent it again.

Both: GOOOO SHOOOOOOT

Nico: I won't let your sacrifice be in vain!

All three of them: But we're not yet dead.

Al: Bring out your dead!

Nico: I understood that reference!

Ramon: Of all the references bland man could've gotten. Anyhow, ninos, while you were battling, I was making sure that Bran was distracted. Now go extract the energy from that behemoth and lets finish this. Vamos!

Bran: You can-

Ramon: And now you'll be done in by your own pocket dimension tech.

Bran: FUUUUUUUCCCK

Ramon: What do you know. The blue guy with the abs beat the villain.

Al: I don't think he's using the Spanish language correctl-oowwwww using Lightning Griffin as a shield hurts. But if this shared pain means being a hero, so be it.

Nico: They did their part. Now it's my turn!

Al: He did it.

The rest of them: All that character development to be upstaged by a talking piece of cardboard.

Nico: Awww, shucks guys. We all did it. Together.

Gere: Wait, so your normal personality is a humble, friendly, socially awkward teen?

Nico: I thought that was obvious.

Gai: We went around thinking you didn't have one, what with your near monomaniacal obsession with acting the part of the hero.

Nico: PROFESSIONALISM!

Prime Minister of the State of Lighting: Lightning, Fuck Yeah.

Ramon: Wait, amigos. Something isn't right.

Nico: Well, thank you, Ms. Clavell.

#Beywarriors #Beywarriors: Cyborg #Ramon #Al #Nico #but now with what little evidence of personality I can find #Professionalism

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