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I didn’t get much working out done this weekend, and I feel kinda bad about that. Especially because I indulged with two glasses of wine too. I got a solid workout in on Saturday, but I usually get a lot more activity in. Oh well. I’m telling myself one weekend isn’t the end of the world. I’m still working out frequently and making changes. The point of being active and getting healthy is so I can indulge here and there without worrying.
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People always say that while you are losing weight, when it gets hard, you should hold onto your "why". Why are you doing this? What is your motivation? For many, you see them say they are doing it so that they can be the best mom they can be, so they can see their kids grow up, etc....and that's great. That is definitely one of my "why's". (Side note: ever write a word and all of a sudden it just makes no sense that it exists? That's what my brain is doing with the word, "why" right now. Neurodivergence FTW. Anyway....)
My biggest "why's" revolve around embarrassment. Have you ever had to ask for a seatbelt extender on an airplane? Or see the face of the person who has just realized that you are sitting next to them on a plane? I have. I've actually stopped flying because I just couldn't handle the embarrassment. Of course, no longer flying means that where I can enjoy travel has been much more limited, and I love to travel and see new places, so...that's ONE why.
Have you ever wanted to go on a ride and had them tell you that you couldn't because you're too big and the can't get the safety rail or belt on you? I have. The last time, I was on a raging river ride with my oldest son, Monkey. They didn't get it buckled in time before the boat went over a certain line and the ENTIRE RIDE shut down. I had to get out and do the walk of shame to the side while they reset everything. Then they let me get on and I managed to super suck it in to get the belt, cutting my circulation off, to close so I could go on the ride. I pretty much stopped going on rides after that. My face shows ALL of my emotions and I KNOW my face was BEAT RED. So that's why #2.
Why #3 has to do with medical care. It is SO HARD to get decent medical care when you are overweight. You could lose a literal limb and doctors will immediately say, "But have you tried to lose weight?" Also, the last time I had a hospital stay I needed an MRI and the hospital had one of the older MRI's. A person literally walked into my room, took a tape measure across my body without telling me what they were doing, and walked out saying, VERY LOUDLY, "Nope. She's too big. There's no way we can get her in the machine." I had to do an open MRI that came onsite once a week. I felt incredibly ashamed and embarrassed.
There are other "why's" also....I want to horseback ride again. Maneuvering my wheelchair would be easier if I weighed less. The COST of a new wheelchair is almost $1500 less if I'm under a certain weight. I'd love to be able to wear clothes that I'm actually drawn to instead of settling for what I can find. I'd love to exist without people looking me up and down and judging all the time.
That's all for now. Have a wonderful day and stay blessed.
Omg. Working out was rough today. My run and arm work out went decently, but my two fitness classes I also went to killed me. I should have stopped after the first one because I couldn’t even half-ass the second one.
I think this would have all certainly made me tired, but I think it killed me because I haven’t worked out in two weeks and I wasn’t adequately nourished/fueled for all the work I put in. But I’m back to it, and that’s what matters.
I’ve decided on a goal for July. I want to focus less on weight and more on my body fat percentage, so I want to get my percentage to 31%.
I haven’t weighed myself in 8 days. I don’t want to have another mental breakdown from the number definitely going up since I didn’t workout all week. I’m going to weight myself again on July 1. I’ll see what percentage is then and have an idea of how difficult this is going to be.
🥢 Lunch: Soba Noodles with Purple Cabbage, Bok Choy, and Green Onion in a Simple Sauce
🍗 Dinner: Chicken Cordon Bleu
🥤 Post-Workout: Chocolate Protein Shake
I’m feeling some tension in my body that these meals are too many calories, but I’m reminding myself that’s the point. I want to enrich my meals with healthy grains and carbs so I do less snacking between meals and/or binging.