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#he's still coming to terms with his own identity that is the story
sleepymrshmllow · 7 months
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idk why we can't just accept that people will interpret media/characters differently and that it isn't inherently an attack on you personally (obviously if people are directly fighting you/harassing you/trying to invalidate you or are generally being bigoted that is different and you should be able to defend your thoughts/block people!)
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novantinuum · 2 months
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Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning
I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.
Let's take a look:
Gem Glow
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"Awesome! What are these things?"
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Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.
Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:
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The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.
The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-
Laser Light Canon
"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."
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Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.
At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.
And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...
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"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"
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And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.
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"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"
Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.
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I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.
Cheeseburger Backpack
So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)
Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."
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"Yeah... they can't all be winners."
This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-
Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.
Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.
Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.
Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:
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This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.
Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.
Together Breakfast
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"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."
Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.
Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.
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I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.
The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.
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If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?
These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'
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"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"
And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.
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"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"
Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.
__
So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.
One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.
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Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.
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Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.
Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.
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In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'
Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.
When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.
In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.
But they don't care.
Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.
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With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.
And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...
No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.
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kiame-sama · 6 months
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Warnings; bg3, full party (because I want them all there to talk), Druid Tav*, Slight druid path spoilers I guess?, Owlbear, Protector type Tav, yandere companions (ALL of them), basic identity spoilers for first act followers, slight early story spoilers, they/them reader, yandere Raphael makes an appearance too.
* Tav is the name that always appears in the character generator first, so technically Tav is the unofficial term for the player character- or Reader in this scenario.
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The large owlbear lumbered slowly amongst the fallen undead, using the sharp beak to pick around the bodies for anything useful. Of course, not everything picked up by the defacto leader of the group was typically deemed useful. Such was the way of the unusual soul the group found themselves following the every whim of.
Countless battles had been won with their leadership and each companion had true respect for their leader, even if respect for the other companions was variable. To take them from desperate and hopeless about their plight to truly believing they could succeed their impossible mission. Each odd soul brought in to the fold by the odd druid may not believe, but they believed in how much their leader believed. For them, this was enough.
This meant that when their trusted leader wandered around as a creature that could feasibly carry three of them, they just followed along and grabbed what they wanted if their leader didn't pick it up first. They trusted their leader to distribute loot and treasure adequately based off of who could best use what was collected. Still, that didn't make the experience any less surreal, even for those who were familiar with druids that favored their bestial forms.
"Astarion, do you ever feel like we, as a group, just adapt to everything around us a little too well?"
Gale, the wizard of the group walked next to the rogue vampire spawn, his arms crossed in a contemplative way. Never before would he have imagined himself having light banter with such a being without bloodshed, but here he was regardless.
"Do tell me you are joking, right?"
"No, should I be?"
"God's, Gale, we're all stuck here as a group with only one thing in common- the fact that we're facing impossible odds to simply survive- and we can barely keep ourselves from killing each other. On top of that, just what do you think we're doing right now? Hm?"
"... Collecting the spoils of our battle?"
There was a distinct moment of silence as the beautiful vampire spawn stared at the wizard with a look of disbelief and disgust. The apparent pause catching the attention of the rest of the party- minus the owlbear lumbering ahead of the group- as they all decided to listen in. It was good fun to hear the others squabble and it gave a sense of comradery despite the situation they were in, misery loving company in most ways, though things weren't seeming too miserable now.
"We are in a temple that is inside of a crypt- some depth underground- picking amongst the remains of reanimated corpses that have all been stomped to death by our Owlbear leader. Not to mention this leader who just so happens to be the most balanced person among us and somehow isn't corrupt as all hells while doing it."
Some of the others nodded along in their own ways, knowing Astarion's assessment wasn't too far off from the crux of the situation they found themselves in. A few cast glances at the afore mentioned owlbear leader who seemed rather content rooting through what little remained from their earlier rampage.
"And they're hot as the hells while doing it."
Karlach, the literal flaming tiefling barbarian, commented, putting herself in the conversation with a wide grin.
"You're one to talk, Karlach," Wyll playfully jabbed back, "You've literally got fire coming out of you!"
"You know I'm right though!"
"Well, I didn't say you were wrong."
Before the two could continue, Astarion cut them off, bringing the now group conversation back to Gale.
"Anyways, my point still stands. We are not the ones who make this all work. They make it work for us. We are stuck together- like it or not- and they call the shots. We can get used to anything because they can get used to anything. Don't pat yourself on the back too hard now, it might get you excited."
Gale slightly winced at that jab, given the fact that he was the most obvious about being smitten with the group leader, and yet his beloved was completely unaware of how hard he had fallen. How hard they all had fallen.
"Are you all fools," Shadowheart hissed in a low voice, "you know they can hear us, right?"
It was Lae'zel's turn to bark out a laugh, her lips curled in a sly grin as she regarded the Sharian cleric. It gave the Githyanki soldier a sense of satisfaction to know something about their leader the cleric didn't.
"They can't understand us in that owlbear form. Why else would these fools talk so plainly?"
Unknown to them, their leader could understand them, but simply didn't want to cause in-fighting or favoritism to arise. So they simply carried on as if unaware of the conversation, just trying to focus on finding what was salvageable.
Unknown to them all, a demon watched from the rafters. His arms were crossed and a grin played across his lips. He had to admit, that druid was certainly a fetching prize as they clearly enamored not only their mismatched companions but him as well. Time would leave him the last among them by the druid's side, he would ensure it. Besides, he had plenty of time to wait.
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eddiezpaghetti · 2 months
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Okay, Part 2! Time to get into that tasty, tasty Steve/Nancy comparison. For that, I don't think I'm really getting into any new ground, I feel like people have said this before, but it's worth stating again.
Steve having unrequited feelings for Nancy is a bad choice to compare to Will having unrequited feelings for Mike because he's a little busy basically being a perfect El parallel.
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Look, okay, Nancy and Mike were automatically attracted (whether you think it was real romantic attraction or just attraction to the idea of being with them) to Steve and El respectively because they were impressive. El, of course, was "Superman landing on Mike's doorstep" and Steve had all the "King Steve" shit going on.
But Nancy and Mike both had preexisting history with a Byers boy. Mike and Will have been best friends since kindergarten, and Nancy knew Jonathan through them.
Shit happens, Nancy and Mike both lose their best friend, a lot of drama happens that basically leads to a rift between our respective pairs, but Steve and El both face down a Demogorgon to save a Wheeler (and some other people) aaaand a relationship still manages to happen despite all the shit going down. Kind of hard to ignore getting saved from a monster by a pretty person, right?
But there's still something...unspoken, between the Wheelers and the Byerses, even when the Wheelers are dating their superheroes. And when push comes to shove, when it really comes down to it...Mike and Nancy can't even honestly say "I love you", and this causes the two pairs to split up.
And...while they're split up...Steve and El both sort of...rise from the ashes of their former selves. Form new identities. But also...sort of their old ones.
Steve had lost his superpower, the thing that attracted Nancy to him in the first place. He was no longer King Steve.
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For fuck's sake, he was being bullied. By some loser with blond hair. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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And on top of all that, the girl he loved most couldn't even love him back.
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They parted, on terrible terms, and while they were apart, Nancy found her comfort, comfort Steve could never provide, in Jonathan.
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But, while he was alone, he reclaimed his old superpower. He was king again, and he'd found something new to fight for.
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He didn't ever really need Nancy to fulfill him. He just needed to be his own hero.
And El?
El had lost her superpower, the thing that attracted Mike to her in the first place. She was no longer Superman.
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And for fuck's sake, she was being bullied. By some loser with blond hair. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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On top of all that, the boy she loved most couldn't even love her back.
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They parted, on terrible terms, and while they were apart, Mike found his comfort, comfort El could never provide, in Will.
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But, while she was alone, she reclaimed her old superpower. She was Superman again, and she'd found something new to fight for.
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She didn't ever really need Mike to fulfill her. She just needed to be her own hero.
Steve and El both ended Season 4 with their relationships with Wheelers still sort of up in the air, but Nancy still ran to Jonathan while Robin comforted Steve, and El and Mike weren't talking while Mike and Will are.
And both Steve and El--in very different contexts--end the season mostly focused on, not their romantic prospects, but their best friends.
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And I really think that's where their focus is going to stay.
Oh, and one last assurance--something that's been said SO many times before but bears repeating again--is this:
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It's kind of hard to miss what' the story is saying's going on when the writers are saying "This is what constitutes romance," and then having Will and Mike follow the exact trail they set out, step by step by step. Not just Will, Will and Mike. It's not one-sided.
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savvythepirate · 11 months
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How they react when seeing scars from the past
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Jack Sparrow:
• You couldn’t deny the fact that you instantly felt insecure about the scars from your dark past when Jack Sparrow saw them for the first time
• Jack may think that someone is currently hurting you and will question you about it, at first he thinks otherwise as you tell him the honest truth
• Jack would want to and is capable of disposing of anyone who has the nerve to hurt you, you may have to hold him back before things end badly
• “If you want them to live, you better keep them out of my sights.” He would say and you would just roll your eyes at that statement from him
• “You’re being ridiculous.” You throw back, in return, getting a scoff as he turns to walk away
• As if Jack Sparrow wasn’t overly protective already, this made him even more, especially after telling him about the painful past, how they got there and who actually did this to you
• You agree that if Jack ever encounters the monster, he could do whatever he pleases
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Hector Barbossa:
• Although you knew you couldn’t hide the scars forever, Barbossa would see them sometime and you won’t have a choice other than to be truthful of how you received scars from the past
• After he sees them for the first time, he thinks that you’re in harm’s way and you’re just not telling him
• Once you’re finally able to get him to calm down, you’re able to tell him how they really did happen and Barbossa believes you, but he still can’t shake the thought that you aren’t being completely honest in the beginning after he made his own suggestion on how they came to be
• You reassure him continuously until he gets it through his head, which takes you a while but you’re able to help him think of it differently than before
• In the beginning, Barbossa is actually very understanding about how this can be a sensitive topic for you or anyone for that matter to talk about, so he waits patiently on your terms when you’re ready to tell him
• The only thing you aren’t completely truthful about are the names you had given him of who did that to you, you change their names to protect their identity from Barbossa
• You’re a very forgiving person and that’s one of the things Barbossa loves about you
• You couldn’t help it, you were born that way and continue to live it
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Will Turner:
• He’s not quite sure what to make of it at first, but when you tell him your story, you don’t leave out a detail and it hits home to him
• Ever since seeing your scars for the first time, Will has sworn to be even more overly protective of you
• He keeps a sharp eye on you, and when he can’t, he gets someone else to look after you, not giving that person a choice, he couldn’t go without knowing you were more than okay and safe
• It helps him to have a peace of mind knowing you were being looked after, when he asked who did this to you, you made the mistake of telling him the actual names of those responsible for it and would later come to regret it
• Will secretly turns it into a manhunt to catch those responsible
• You don’t find out until they have actually found the people, they bring them to trial and sentence them
• They were sent to be executed, but you didn’t attend it
• You’re a little upset that Will went and did that, but than you’ve come to understand that he did so with reason and now, with that taken care of, it makes it a little safer for you and other individuals
• It prevents them from hurting anyone else and you took victory in that
• Though you were a little more forgiving than Will, you wanted others to be safe and sometimes there is no other way to make sure of that
• Will would eventually come find you later and apologize to you for doing what he did
• You had already forgiven him
***
@savvythepirate
Requests: OPEN
Tags: @princessofthornsandroses @justafairytailofinnocence @royisrandom @friendlynova @mypookiebeardavyjones @imalittleoutthere @marsswann @always-on-hiatus @aresrivas
Characters:
• Jack Sparrow
• Davy Jones
• Hector Barbossa
• Will Turner
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starry-bi-sky · 3 months
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Ugh im writing this on mobile but i’ve been thinking about it nonstop for an hour and I’m just- mmmmm thinking about Clone Danny and his wardrobe choice as Phantom. Cuz like, he doesn’t have any powers, right? He has no built-in secret identity and suit that he can change into in a flash of blinding circular light. If a ghost shows up he’s just got what he’s got on, and whatever he has in his bag.
And I’m just. I have a lot of thoughts about him and his canon self, thoughts that i dont think i can all fit on my phone and im. Thinking about the dichotomy between him and his canon counterpart. From an in-universe perspective, the halfa Danny Phantom looks remarkably human-like. Especially compared to the ghosts he fights, all of whom are unnatural colors, shapes, and sizes. From flaming hair to glowing eyes and pointed claws, there’s nothing about them that doesn’t scream “ghost!” “Inhuman!” “Unnatural!”
And then you look at Danny Phantom, the ghost boy fighting them. And he just… looks like a glowing human boy. The only unnatural thing about him is his white hair and green eyes - and green eyes is a natural human color. Maybe not the shade it’s in, but it occurs in human genetics. He’s about as close to human as he can get.
Think about that from an in-universe perspective, and then think about it with the idea that ghosts take pride in their ‘ghostly’ look. They pride themselves on looking scary; unnatural; inhuman. It’s a showcase of being unique, of their own individuality, of their interests and wants. Looking ‘scary’ is part of ghost culture, and if not scary, then unique and ‘inhuman’. They don’t want to fit in, they want to stand out.
And you look at Danny Phantom, as his canon self without any of the fanon customizations, and he’s none of that. He’s about as human-looking as a ghost can get. He’s got human-like skin, hell he’s even tanner than he is as a human! His hair is normal, his eyes are green but normal, his hands? Soft and round, not a claw in sight, and his teeth are blunt and ears are round.
His suit is all black, it doesn’t even tell you anything about him other than he probably died in a lab accident, and he looks like he’s straight out of a b-rate comic book. There’s no story to tell about him, he’s a book with the pages all blacked out in ink.
His name, if you take it as him only calling himself “Phantom” isn’t even all that unique. It’s a generic ghost term that you can find by googling ‘ghost’ and looking at its synonyms.
And then look at his behavior: yeah he fights ghosts, and fighting is all about ghost behavior. Its one of their social activities- but its clear from Phantom that he’s not being social. He’s being aggressive, he’s doing it for the sake of the living (which while fair, doesn’t make him look good in the context of everything else). Then he comes into the ghost zone, he doesn’t do much to integrate himself into the culture, and yeah he makes allies but it still doesn’t feel enough. He’s not participating in anything, he’s alienating himself.
All in all, Phantom looks like a ghost trying to pretend he’s human, that he’s still alive. And for a ghost culture that prides itself on not being alive? It’s insulting.
And then let’s circle back around to that human thing, but from a different angle. Probably one that’s more mindset than outside looking in. But Danny’s alienated by the rest of the town for ages despite helping them. And while him looking human likely has to do with his own mindset of viewing himself as “living, but with ghost powers” and thus reflects back as a ghost, it also makes it look like he’s trying to fit in with the humans.
“I am not a ghost” he says, with his human skin and blunt teeth. “I am human like you, see? See? I look like you.”
He’s making himself look approachable, friendly. ‘You can trust me, I’m not a ghost. I’m not like them. I’m not scary. I look just like you. I’m different.’ He looks about as harmless as a human child could be. He’s trying to be relatable. And in turn he’s giving his fellow ghosts a cold shoulder - i’m not like you, i’m better. I’m different. I’m not ghost. I may be dead, but I’m no ghost.
Danny is trying to tie his ghost self in with the living as much as possible - he wants them to think he’s almost human. The same way he wants to think that himself. He’s distancing himself from his ghost half and the ghostly qualities the others have. Whether intentional or not, he’s doing it.
He shows his face and goes ‘see? See? I’m just like you.’
And then lets look at clone Danny, mister not-a-halfa. Who doesn’t have his canon offensive capabilities, who only has his ghost sense and the ability to hit ghosts without gear, his scary eyes and pointed ears, and the ability to see weaker ghosts not visible to the mortal eye.
He has no ghost form, no powers. And yet the first time he goes out as Phantom, he wears a mask that looks like a skull. Instead of distancing himself from ghosts, he’s distancing himself from humans. And at first it stems from the need to be unrecognizable, the last thing he wants is for his parents to find out that he’s ghost hunting. To do that, he needs to hide his face. That’s the first step.
The next step is to act in such a way that people couldn’t possibly tie him back to Danny Fenton. He’s not distancing himself from ghosts, he’s distancing himself from humans. To do that, he acts inhuman. He wears his mask and wears baggy, shapeless clothes - his hoodie and his pants - and he learns how to act unsettling. His eyes glow green, unnatural and shining through his sunken-in, skull-like mask. But it’s not enough on its own. He must do more.
He wants to be the thing someone sees at night and turns the other way. See me and run, he says, crouched on all fours and crawling across a beam like a monster you see in a movie. Twisting his body in unnatural, fluid ways, like he’s not quite sure how having only four limbs work.
Run. He says, dead green eyes glowing through his mask, piercing through black night from the rooftop. I am wild thing. Come no closer, look no closer. I am not like you. I am not your friend. I bite. Run.
You cannot see my face. This is my face, I am not alive. I am not like you. I am an animal about to pounce.
He doesn’t want people to think he’s human, he doesn’t want them to think he’s anywhere close to it. Anything to prevent his parents from figuring out its him.
And the thing is, he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t have to appear ghost-like or inhuman to keep his identity safe, wearing a mask and wearing unidentifiable clothes is enough. But he’s choosing to act ghost-like; unsettling; scary.
And in doing so, he unintentionally participates in ghost culture. And while his clothes are not anything unique, or outstanding, his mask is. His clothes don’t tell anything about him, but that’s okay.
Imagine meeting this boy from a ghost perspective. This annoying, fleshy human boy who jumps into fights to stop you and catch you. You’ve heard stories of human ghost hunters, you know there are hunters on the other side. You have heard the horror stories, you have seen the scars.
And then this boy catches you. This human, fleshy boy who yells quips at you, who puns and insults you, who wears an unsettling mask and acts ghosty. He catches you, and you think you will be the next one on the chopping board.
And then you end up in the ghost zone, untouched. Unharmed. And you tell someone about it. You were caught and released by a human child who feels touched by death. And then you hear that the ones who’d been caught were freed by a fleshy human boy who was touched by death, and a boy who they call “Phantom”.
And, isn’t that the name of the child you fought?
And he talks to you, but then he’s in the daytime. There are living around. He doesn’t speak to them - he ignores them outright. He keeps his distance, he stays away. If he talks, it’s with his hands. They will not hear his voice.
I may be alive but I am no human.
And its just — ????? So good to think about. I’ll reblog later with more thoughts when I have my laptop, but god i just needed to get that out there.
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sepublic · 2 months
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The Immigrant and the Colonizer
            There’s something fascinating to me about the juxtaposition of Luz as the immigrant, and Belos as the colonizer; The whole interplay of the outsider coming into a different world. The Wittebanes and Nocedas both came to Gravesfield, but the Wittebanes have the historical context of being part of a larger colonial movement that sought to exploit the Americas; By contrast, the Nocedas are of Dominican heritage, meaning somewhere along the way, they immigrated to the U.S.
         So you have Philip participating in this colonization in order to be on the better end of the power dynamic, making the outsider status into one of oppression and dominance, and this naturally translates to how he interacts with the Boiling Isles and bastardized everything about it for his own ends. Conversely, you have the Nocedas, who given their backgrounds, are inevitably submitting themselves to the power structures that Philip was a part of and represents.
         Which means with the Nocedas, it’s the outsiders who are the ‘mercy’ of the world they’ve traveled to, and they’re the ones who are pressured into assimilating into it, being measured by Gravesfield’s standards of what a proper citizen should be, etc. Camila hides parts of herself deemed 'undesirable' and even ironed her hair flat. If the Wittebanes came to dominate, the Nocedas were made to submit.
         And this just ties into Luz maintaining her own identity and still holding onto that, as do Manny and Camila. The Nocedas ultimately understand that they can’t lose themselves to be a part of something, and I find that ties in nicely with the whole interplay of wanting to be your own person, but also wanting to participate, and balancing these two things; Otherwise you end up like Eda, who for a while was a lonely outcast, or Lilith, who conformed but at the cost of so much.
         What’s also interesting is that Luz is afro-latina; Meaning she’s the descendant of those brought over as part of the colonization effort, whether they wanted to participate or not, and the natives indigenous to the Americas. So there’s Luz once again navigating two worlds as the immigrant and the native.
         So amidst the Nocedas learning to maintain their identities in a foreign world, we also have Luz learning to engage with another one in the Boiling Isles, and this is where she differentiates from Philip; She does not become entitled to this world. She recognizes by the second episode that this world and its people do not exist to cater to her whims and fantasies; If she wants to really participate, Luz needs to put in the effort to actually engage with the Boiling Isles. And with Adventures in the Elements, Luz understands that it’s not just about engaging with the isles, but engaging with it on its own terms; She realizes she can find the glyphs in nature after learning to commune with it, in the form of the Titan. And nature will respond to Luz if she shows respect.
         There’s a lot to be said about how Luz worries over whether she’ll be a ‘real witch’, and how this can parallel how immigrants in general can feel like outsiders who don’t really belong, who don’t actually partake in this local identity; There’s a parallel to real life about a white Puritan immigrating to another land, only to colonize and make it hostile to a future Latina immigrant, all while his own double standard is left unacknowledged by his government (“Go back to your world” as said by Lilith during her time in the Emperor’s Coven). But in the end, Luz manages to figure out witchhood on her own terms, while co-existing healthily with the Titan and the people around her.
         And it’s not as if this quality of respecting the land and its people is inherent/unique to people of indigenous heritage, either; We have Caleb Wittebane, a white man who initially was a part of the colonization of the Americas. But as Caleb’s story proves, he is not doomed by ‘race’ or ‘genetics’, he can choose to learn and respect different worlds and people, unlike Philip, whose ravings on humanity needing to be saved from witches and demons boils down to bioessentialism. Caleb falls in love with Evelyn, he unlearns what he was taught, and he even becomes a part of this other culture by having a mixed child, from whom Eda and Lilith are descended from.
         The Clawthornes are unambiguously witches and people of the isles, despite their human ancestry; Mixed race people are often accused of not really belonging to either race, which again connects to Luz and how she worries about being a real witch and not belonging in the Demon Realm, even as she struggles to fit into the human world, and of course her Afro-Latina identity. Because in the end, yes; These ‘outsiders’ CAN and should engage with other cultures, and even become a part of them.
         In discussing colonization and appropriation, a lot of well-meaning people have fallen into the trap of acting as if there’s some inherently, morally wrong about white people, and just outsiders in general, engaging with a culture different from theirs; And this is just segregationist rhetoric, but reworded to sound progressive. Because discouraging people from connecting to and learning to understand those unlike them is actually a bad thing that contributes to prejudice. And that’s the importance of Luz and Caleb, with Caleb especially proving that white people have no excuse NOT to be respectful; In death, his pose mirrors that of the Titan’s, signifying him as someone who understood the spirit of the world.
         Fascism and racism in general relies on the premise of Us VS Them; But with how Belos is the colonizer, it’d be easy to fall into the trap of saying that humanity and witches should be separate, period. But that just risks casting humanity, or even just white people, as separate and inherently different (and thus excuses a supposed inability to connect with Us). And yet you have Luz, who is also a human outsider like Belos, and while Belos causes no shortage of problems, Luz herself is a solution who changes so many people’s lives for the better; Outsiders have a lot to offer, actually!
         And that just goes back to the key distinction between the immigrant and the colonizer, the one who imposes, and the one who assimilates. There’s the blurring of the distinction that is categories, and the questioning of the binary, as Luz CAN still maintain a connection to her human heritage and home, while becoming a part of the Boiling Isles. She doesn’t have to abandon one for the other.
         Likewise, we don’t know much about Caleb’s process in acclimating to the isles, but it’s worth noting how he abdicates the power dynamic of the colonizer to become a part of something else. Maybe this is assimilation, but maybe it’s not, because Caleb is doing this on his own terms. And given his joyous reaction to Philip, and assumption that he was here on good terms? I think Caleb would’ve gladly maintained ties to his human heritage, if the humans he knew weren’t explicitly rejecting co-existence and making it impossible for him to do that.
         But as Caleb himself, and finally the Nocedas prove, it’s not actually necessary to maintain this segregation just to maintain one’s own identity (Caleb doesn’t hide his ears). Even Caleb’s descendants in Eda and Lilith understand it; You can be a part of something and still be your own person. Luz can still make new connections and become part of a new world without having to renounce her heritage. These things aren’t inherently contradicting one another, it’s only the belief that they do. But you can choose to make things work and adapt, just as Caleb and especially Luz did.
         Yeah, an outsider spelled doom for the isles, but an outsider was also the one who saved them. By principle, the isles should still be open to others, hence Gus facilitating contact with his exchange program. Gus is deeply fascinated by human culture, he gets to visit its world, but he also misses his dad and home and gets to go back to that two, and now he gets to make them both meet; So the reverse to this human outsider to a demonic world also applies here.
We have Gus, but also Luz’s other friends, who adapt to the human world; Eda also applies, as someone unaware that she is technically REconnecting with her human heritage when pursuing her trash collection. And of course we have Vee, who becomes a member of the Noceda family we've been talking about, as someone also an immigrant who had to blend in to survive, and suffering the consequences of xenophobia.
         There’s also the Archivists and the Collector; The Archivists came in to control another world, converting it into scrolls under their possession, under the claim of preserving and protecting things. And part of their plan relied on using the Collector as an unwitting Trojan Horse to lower the guard of the native Titans. You have the Collector genuinely loving the Titans and forming bonds with them, only to be made complicit in invasion; And when the Titan retaliated, basically under the assumption that all outsiders like the Collector were evil, it led to more tragedy. And the Collector, for all their love of Titans, still had to learn to respect them and their agency, as well as everyone else’s in the Boiling Isles.
         Sure, there’s a potential risk to letting others in, both on a personal level, and on a larger one like how the Boiling Isles –particularly the Titan herself- let in others, such as the Archivists, and later Philip Wittebane. I wonder if her regret over mistreating the Collector led to her giving Caleb, and then Philip, another chance; But even when Philip backfired, the Titan still kept enough of an open mind to let in Luz afterwards, showing a sincere repentance for how the Collector was treated. They’re clearly capable and willing to learn, it’s not inherent to their species to dominate, any more than it is for white people like Caleb or Hunter.
         And that takes us back to Gus; It’s like how he realizes with Hunter’s help that even if people will take advantage of your kindness and hurt you, in the long run, that welcoming acceptance is better for the world. You’re obviously entitled to resistance and self-defense if repeatedly exploited and hurt, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always have to. Colonization/assimilation IS a thing but it’s not the inevitable result of cross-cultural interaction, you can and should let different things coexist.
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molsno · 3 months
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I have such complex feelings about danganronpa but the treatment of chihiro fujisaki still remains a major sticking point to me.
I've had several different interpretations of the character over the years as my relationship with my gender has evolved but after all these years I feel like I can finally mourn the way she was treated as a trans girl.
it's just... heinous. kazutaka kodaka is so transmisogynistic in his writing that it's sickening to even think about. how am I supposed to feel about the fact that his work has touched my life in such a major way? I'm still talking about danganronpa over 10 years after I first got into it. but an unskippable, major, and early part of the story of the first game makes it clear how he thinks about people like me.
the text of the game is vile. along with the other students, she's threatened with her deepest secret being revealed if nobody murders one of their classmates. she has to face the fact that she's going to be forcibly outed to her classmates in the worst way possible. after she's killed out of jealousy for her bravery by mondo owada, who at the very least has the decency to move her body from the boys' locker room to the girls' to protect her secret, her body is groped to "confirm" that she's a "boy", she's immediately misgendered by all her classmates, and monokuma tells everyone her backstory in a way that totally disregards her actual feelings.
chihiro is not a boy. she doesn't ever claim to be one, except in school mode, which crucially, is explicitly not canon and wasn't even present in the original release. the only reason why anyone, in-game and in the fandom, believes that she's a boy is because of transmisogyny and because of monokuma's explanation. is he the type of character that you should trust, though? not only is he willing to forcibly out a trans girl, this is a pattern of behavior; the mastermind controlling monokuma later threatens to out juzo sakakura as gay as blackmail in the dr3 anime.
when I view the actions of chihiro fujisaki, I can't see anything but a trans girl. she has a severe inferiority complex, cries easily, lacks confidence in herself, hesitates to spend time with cis girls due to a fear of being ostracized for who she is, and heavily latches onto anyone who treats her respectfully (as seen if you do her free time events). and then she's thrust into a horrible situation where she could be killed at any moment, and then given 24 hours to try and come out on her own terms before monokuma does it for her in a way that explicitly misgenders her. she wants to become someone strong, someone who can stand up for herself and fight back against bullies like monokuma who don't respect her gender, but she doesn't get to do that on her own time. she still tries, though, and for it, she's killed.
it's just... tragic. what else can I say? she's yet another example of transmisogynistic tropes in media, but she feels personal to me in a way that few other such characters do. I've always loved chihiro a lot, even when I was younger and couldn't quite put my finger on why.
I don't think I would terribly mind her death if kodaka was a better writer. if danganronpa actually made use of all of its seemingly largely unintentional anticapitalist potential, if it touched on systemic issues such as transmisogyny with tact and respect (for example, if the other students respected her identity and opposed monokuma for repeatedly misgendering her), her death would still be upsetting, but I could accept that.
she just... deserves so much better.
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moorishflower · 7 months
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A Fridge Full of Jam
Having a bad memory day today and so I wrote it out w/Dream
Sorry fav blorbo you get to experience the Horrors
He is walking back home from the park when he gets the text from Hob.
Cottage pie for din love
Could u pick up 1 large onion + sum garlic on way home? ta
Dream looks at the message. There is a corner market between where he currently stands, stock still on the kerb, and the New Inn, where Hob currently is. He could, quite reasonably, stop there and purchase the items that Hob has requested of him.
Another message comes through as he is contemplating.
Sum tomato paste too pls
I love you!
He finds himself smiling at this last text. Hob has had many, many years to perfect shorthand of all varieties, but he has never once shortened 'I love you.' It is always the full declamatory sentence, complete with full stop or exclamation. There is something heart-rendingly lovely about it.
Dream stops at the corner market on his way back. Hob has furnished him with an identity of his own, now that he is human, complete with debit card, and money to make purchases, and a driver's license that he still hesitates to make use of.
(He once knew how to operate a car in theory, but that, along with billions of years' worth of other knowledge, is one of the things lost to him now that he is human.)
The market is not busy this time of day. Summer has come upon London, blanketing the great city in a smog of humidity and incipient rain. It is the sort of weather to drive most people indoors, where they might at least seek the relief of a fan, but Dream is not bothered. He is cold, almost always, and it is during weather such as this that he is allowed the luxury of short sleeves. During weather like this, he takes long walks in solitude, and goes to the park to feed the birds, and sometimes there are other travelers to accompany him, but more often than not he is alone.
He prefers that, some days. The crush of humanity is not nearly so pressing now that he no longer contains all of its dreams and nightmares within his own head, but it is sometimes, still, overwhelming.
Dream checks his phone. One large onion, garlic, and tomato paste. Is there anything else that they need while he is here? Strawberry jam, perhaps. He eats it on his toast each morning, so they are bound to be almost out. There is a specific garlic-parmesan salad dressing that Hob likes, and which this market happens to carry. He picks up a bottle and puts it in his basket, along with a jar of jam. Do they have crisps at home? He thinks they do, but is it the sort that he likes, or is it the sort that Hob likes? Hob prefers sharp flavours. Tomato. Salt and cider vinegar. Dream enjoys simple fare. He picks up a bag of Walkers 'roast chicken' crisps and studies it, then drops it into the bag.
He moves down the aisle.
The clouds have broken by the time he leaves the market, though not for the better. Rain patters in the gutters, dampens his hair and sticks it to his skull as Dream hurries home, a shopping bag in each hand. The New Inn is not far, but it is far enough that he is wet through when he ascends the steps to its front door, stamping his feet to knock loose any mud or debris that might cling to his boots.
"Welcome to the–oh, hullo, Dream," the hostess says. She is a petite, smart young woman named Anne. Once, he would have known her greatest fantasies. Now Dream knows that she attends university at King's, and that she had Hob for one of her professors last term, and that she is somewhere in her early twenties...and that is all. "Out doing a bit of shopping?"
"Hob is making cottage pie," he tells her. She smiles. Hob's employees – they are not technically his employees, but they all refer to themselves as such – observe his relationship with the Inn's proprietor as though they are a much-beloved television show. It is strange, to be the subject of a story in which his own opinion is entirely unwanted.
"Enjoy," Anne says, and Dream nods at her, and ascends the stairs to the second floor, which Hob has claimed as his own. The front door is unlocked, and so Dream lets himself in.
"That you, love?" he hears, floating from the kitchen. Dream follows the sound of it, stopping in the doorway. Hob is there, standing over the stovetop, a pot of water boiling and the pale, oblong shapes of several peeled potatoes bobbing about within. When he looks up, he smiles. "'Course it is, you never answer right away."
"I will endeavor to do so in future," Dream says. He sets the bags on the table and begins to unpack them, laying the items he purchased in a neat row so that he may put them away with utmost expedience. Hob temporarily disengages from the stovetop to look over his shoulder.
"Jam?" he asks, reaching around Dream's hip in order pick up the jar. "We've already got jam."
Dream peers at it. He uses it so often. Every day. He tries to think of how much had been in the jar when he had taken it out of the fridge that morning, but draws a blank. "But...I eat it every day," he says. His voice, even to his own ears, has the unpleasant texture of a whine. Plaintive. Hob takes him by the hand and leads him to the fridge.
"See?" he says, and there, in the fridge door, is not only one, but two jars of strawberry jam. One is not even opened. "Remember? You bought more a week ago."
He does not remember. It had happened a week ago. Dream stares at the jars. His hands feel very loose; he is suddenly glad that it is Hob who is holding the new (the third) jar, because he thinks if it were him he would have dropped it by now.
"I...forgot," he says. In that moment, in the aisle, it had seemed impossible that they should have enough. He uses it every day. It had not even crossed his mind that he might have already bought some earlier.
"Hey," Hob says. "Come here. It's all right, yeah? We'll find a recipe to use jam. It's fine." He puts the jar down on the counter, and Dream finds himself being drawn into a hug. The kitchen is steam-warm, and Hob smells like raw potatoes and fresh herbs. Dream presses his nose to the curve of Hob's neck and blinks back useless tears.
"I forgot," he says again. Hob runs a soothing palm up and down his spine.
"You know," Hob says, "I read something the NHS published a bit ago...about how depression affects memory? Basically, how prolonged periods of, ah, stress and anxiety can stunt how your brain makes new short term memories?"
Dream tries to tug away, but finds himself held fast. Hob's hand splays flat against the small of his back.
"It's all right," he says. "It is. You were...I mean, my memories of after Robyn died are like Swiss cheese. And you had all that great big Endlessness to rely on before, but now...it makes sense, is all I'm saying. And it's all right."
Dream makes a sound – he is not wholly certain it is a dignified sound, nor good-tempered – and this time does not try to pull away, but buries his face into Hob's clavicle.
"How do you stand it?" he asks. He means the wild swing of moods. He means the instability. He means the being human of it all. But there is no easy answer to any of these questions. The shortest, of course, is 'you just do.'
"Lists help," Hob says. "Alarms. Things like that. And sometimes you just roll with the punches." He sways to the side, hooking his fingers around the jar of strawberry jam and making room for it in the fridge door. "Sometimes you've got three jars of jam."
(Later, when they are eating their cottage pie sans tomato paste, because Dream had remembered he liked roast chicken crisps but not the final thing that Hob had asked of him, he will try to reflect on the wisdom of this. Love, he will think, is an unlocked front door, a sentence with a full stop, and a fridge full of jam.)
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voidpacifist · 6 months
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things I loved about season four of sex ed (spoilers ahead)
the amount of representation present this season. the disability rep, the queer and trans rep, how not shy the writers were confronting different trans and disability rights issues head on.
eric's arc with his religion and his gayness and how he was able to reconcile the two. this one really hit home for me as someone who is both queer and a person of faith. I love getting to see gayness have a place within faith, it just healed something for me, okay?
otis was so classically otis but he finally (FINALLY) acknowledged his own idiosyncrasies without just writing them off as being the fault of wounds in his life. by the end of ep 8 he was dedicated to making things better for himself and for other people and I'm actually so proud of him for that.
aimee's journey with healing from her SA trauma and how she navigated a new relationship with that. also I know it probably wasn't intentional but she's a very autistic coded character to me and watching her flourish as herself with isaac just did something so special to my heart. I would level cities for her.
and adam too!! him finally getting the closure he needed with eric and them communicating !!!! the scene at erin wiley's funeral when eric is able to tell adam how genuinely proud of him he is, just,,,my heart I love it when people get to heal !! also again with the unintentional neurodivergent rep, like come on - sitting undiagnosed by yourself, handsome? he's just like me fr.
I was worried the writers wouldn't do isaac's character justice, even though he was given a good arc in season three I was still anxious about where they would take it now that maeve was overseas and honestly, they didn't give him very much of a story outside of his history and who he was when he was with maeve. similar to aimee with him, I really liked watching more of his artistic traits pop out and I loved seeing him have a healthy friendship with someone. even better, I love it when the feelings he harbored for that person were mutual with no strings attached. I wasn't expecting him and aimee to be endgame but I'm absolutely not disappointed about it (you can tell he's my fav because I've written the longest paragraph about him so far).
cal and aisha and pk. need I say anything more? my only gripe is that I wish we could have had a glimpse of the three of them on a date or even see if there were other people in the polycule but that's okay !! I also just really loved cal's journey with themself and I loved getting to see them supported for their identity it meant so very much to me.
lastly but certainly not the least, I loved that otis and o ended on mutually agreeable terms with each other, it just really added to the whole theme of trying to heal and open new doors and be okay with things not being in control all the time. it was especially touching that he gave his position as therapist to her because he knew and acknowledged he had work to do on himself like !!! very rare otis w but totally welcomed. had the show continued I would have loved to see more development w him.
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stealingyourbones · 2 years
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DP + JLU crossover prompt: I wanna see Flash as Danny's mentor, so--
Danny has survived (Sorta?) 2 years as a ghost without being discovered. Until their field trip to Central City. First day there and immediately Flash catches him phasing out of some locked container (Thank you, Dash). Danny thinks he's screwed, "Hello GIW, dissection tables, and ecto-uranium cages for the rest of my life", but Flash just asks "Meta?" and Danny rolls with the out, figuring he can just let the hero believe he has some sort of intangibility ability and not get caught doing anything else for the week. The League hero even asks if he's out about his ability and helps him with a cover story for where he was when Mr. Lancer asks.
Cue Danny getting a surprise mentor. Turns out, it's something of an open secret that Flash likes to help out young metas with their abilities. He's willing and able to set things up so he can visit Danny in Amity Park regularly, so Danny doesn't have to move. He's got a ton of experience helping kids feel out different abilities safely (and Danny's almost a little disappointed he only told the guy about intangibility because he wishes he could get this level of guidance on other abilities. Like duplication. Or teleporting.). And he's not afraid of acting as a go between for kids who want to keep their identities secret while learning their abilities and other heroes with similar powersets, either.
Flash is aware there is a lot more to Danny's powers than he's been told, but he's willing to let the kid come to him with the full story in his own time.
ooooooooo alrighty okokokokok. sO.
this brings me so much seritonin I love Flash x DP crossovers, I simply haven't read much stuff on Barry since the guy since he was dead for like a solid 25 years irl time for comics. It's a good thing that I can write this since Justice League Unlimited Flash is Wally West. Barry straight up just doesn't exist in JLU and sO:
Wally damn well knew the kid had something else going on. He's not sure exactly what but he's seen enough to know that this kid is more powerful than he's making himself out to be.
He's spotted Danny's foot almost on reflex turn invisible when his hands slipped and he dropped a knife on the ground. The knife clattered to the floor harmlessly and Danny was fine. The flickering of his lower limbs was for less than a second. Flash can think as fast as 100 attoseconds in one second. That's what a second is to 300 million years. He may not be able to perceive just as fast but it's still far far quicker than any meta he's ever known. He watches the boy for what seems to be days but to Danny it's quick as a flash, how he realizes that he's invisible and hastily flickers back to reality. No one should have spotted it, but Flash saw. He knew. He kept it to himself. It was not his secret to tell.
Danny thinks he's subtle. He might be for the average human, but not to fellow Supers. Danny's drinks are somehow always perfectly chilled even when its been sitting in the sun for hours. The kid's nightmares cause him to yell in his sleep. Wally had to ask Batman for some custom glassware made out of the same stuff the Batmobile's windows are made of cause the kid keeps shattering every new set he buys.
The other day Danny showed Wally that he could turn invisible. On his own terms. Wally acted as if the dozens of times he's seen Danny blip out of existence never happened and accepted the new development with ease. He knew he gained even more of Danny's trust when the young meta laughed and for the first time didn't worry about hiding his sharp canines from his sight.
Progress is slow going but eventually he'll get this boy to open up so he can get the proper help he needs.
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genericpuff · 18 days
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Just saw your response to someone asking about plot points you hate. Can I ask why you don't like Athena/Hestia? From what I remember (take this with a grain of salt because while I've read the whole comic it's more in a junk food, read and forget til next time kind of thing)
From what I remember it's not a huge plot point? Like its just kinda.. there? It doesn't really impact much of the story at large.
Also I agree with the hades/thanatos thing, that's kinda odd and it doesn't make hades any better or more sympathetic of a protagonist. If I remember right, doesn't he abandon thanatos or push him away?
I have issues with the Hestia x Athena plotline the same way I have issues with the Hera x Echo plotline. It all feels shoehorned in for the sake of seeming 'inclusive' towards gay relationships, but gets next to no actual development or screentime aside from the odd lip service meant to benefit Rachel.
Especially when Hestia and Athena were already embraced as LGBTQ+ icons to begin with and didn't need to be shipped together to make it possible. Rachel has a really hard time comprehending aroace identities and this is present even back in her Tumblr days-
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If Hestia and Athena are still supposed to be at least ace in LO then we haven't seen any indication of that. So it just makes them look hypocritical as fuck for running the "virgins only club" that is TGOEM (and even going so far as to punish Persephone for being around Hades by confiscating his gift to her) and that unfortunately makes them look like really terrible people which isn't a great look for the only lesbian couple in the story (at least until Eros and Hera were established but whether or not they're an actual couple now or if that was just a one time kiss scene remains to be seen). Like even the reveal that they're together is Artemis figuring it out and then being pissed that she's the "only one following the rules", not them coming out about it on their own terms.
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Also no, the Hestia x Athena plotline wasn't as big as the other plotlines, but it was one of the ones that felt so out of left field and forced when it was first established. Plus I'd just love for them to be aroace rep again, there are characters who are legitimate gay icons that got erased so that Rachel could retroactively shove it into other characters without any reasoning or relevance to the plot.
I honestly wouldn't have been so salty about the Hestia x Athena plotline if it were just written better (and if it didn't reek of aroace erasure) and that goes for a lot of the queer relationships in LO, because so many of them are only given the tiniest ounces of screentime, enough for Rachel to take credit for being "inclusive" but not enough for her to actually have a diverse cast. Morpheus is the most consistently present character we've gotten for LGBTQ+ rep and now even she's been fridged :/
Anyways, as for Hades and Thanatos, yeah, the retcon that Hades was a 'father figure' to Thanatos the whole time seems like it was purely written in to make Thanatos look like a hypocrite for having very reasonable concerns regarding the special treatment being given to Persephone at work. But then Rachel had to actually resolve that plotline so in S3 she had Hades approach Thanatos in search of his brother just for them to have a weak 'heart to heart' where Thanatos took the blame for being a 'handful' and Hades trauma dumped and never really took accountability for everything. The fact that we're supposed to believe they have a father-son dynamic really makes the first season gross to read because the whole time Hades is legitimately treating Thanatos like scum. It absolutely does NOT make Hades more likeable, even with the attempt to 'redeem' him which really just made him look like an even bigger asshole u.u
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celluloidbroomcloset · 2 months
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I was thinking a bit more about how Stede and Ed act as the dads/parental figures of the ship.
Stede's struggle in Season 1 is his failure as a father and a husband, and his inadequacy as a captain. In both cases, he's failed to be the father figure he felt he needed to be to fulfill his role. But he starts bonding with the crew via games and stories, which we see is how he made connections with his children.
Ed has succeeded as a captain, but he does so at a cost to himself and his desires. The exhaustion of being Blackbeard has meant a sacrifice of identity and a near-collapse. When he joins with Stede, he's able to shift some of the burden and actually have fun with life again.
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Neither man has received a model of how to be a parental figure—both of their fathers were abusive, Ed lost his mother at an early age, and Stede's mother is largely nonexistent. They recognize what they're supposed to be, but they struggle to fulfill the role. Neither man has had a partner in whom he can trust and depend on to listen.
Just one of them struggles to maintain balance and image—Stede is ill-equipped, at the start, to act as a captain. He connects to the crew in his own way, but it's still not enough to protect them from the Spanish or from other pirates. Ed's arrival on the Revenge introduces the dynamic of co-captains, and he and Stede take on increasingly balanced roles right from the start. But Ed shows how very exhausting it is to be a captain when you have to make life or death decisions and know that everyone is looking to you:
"They're all gonna die, and it's all gonna be your fault. All the men who trusted you. All their blood's gonna be on your hands. It's going to be your fault."
It's Stede's presence that allows Ed to relax a little, and Ed's knowledge that guides Stede to his own revelations. They push each other to think differently and see the world from a new angle in which neither of them are the sole guiding light, but act in tandem with each other. Their balance means that they come up with the same idea of the lighthouse, and Ed figures out how to implement it by working together.
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When Stede leaves, the balance of the ship is thrown off by the loss of one parental figure. Ed is unmoored and takes on the same weight that he has before, only he's now completely unequipped to manage it, both emotionally and psychologically, just as Stede was in the pilot and first few episodes. The result is a toxic atmosphere that damages the crew and makes Ed suicidal.
Izzy, amazingly, is quite right: they balance each other out. Stede’s return calms everyone, but he also can’t shoulder everything by himself. Ed being there, backing him up, even being someone that the crew still refer to as captain and reminding Stede to “just go with it” about the tub, helps to manage Stede’s authority and avoids him becoming too much of a pirate captain (which is what he'd be in danger of becoming if he only had Izzy there to give him advice). But even then, Stede shows the strain of having to be responsible for his crew - the murder of Low is necessary and it also damages him.
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Which is part of why I like that Stede and Ed stay on land at the end. Piracy is indeed about the crew and as captains they both felt the burden of earning and maintaining respect AND being responsible for the crew’s lives and safety. They both need to lose the burden (and the consequent guilt) of being responsible for other people for a while. Stede kills in part to protect his crew, but it takes a piece out of him to do it. Ed can’t do it at all anymore; he’s shown that the weight of it will eventually crush him and endanger them.
It’s actually a lovely ending in terms of both Ed and Stede being allowed and allowing themselves to focus on something other than their family and instead build their relationship with each other. They need to be the focal point of each other’s lives for a while, and in turn get to look at themselves and who they are as men and partners. Stede exchanged one family responsibility for another and Ed was always responsible, for a good bit of his life. In letting go of that for a while, even if it doesn’t ultimately last, will let them become who they are together.
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sciderman · 28 days
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Currently reading through the spiderpool blog and just finished the civil war era. That alternate timeline where Pete is an assassin, of course we know Ben is alive but what happens to that version Ben and May? I wonder if they know what he is doing and if they are still even apart of his life.
oh, anon. anon... it's a sad little tale,, it's a sad little story. i do imagine that this specific peter parker pursues his career of fame and fortune, and becomes vain and horrible. a real "talk to my agent!" kind of asshole.
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and initially, he still cares for uncle ben and aunt may. they're the only two people in the world who loved him properly. but... but. fame goes to his head. the old cliché. he's making bank, and – there's less urgency for him to stay to support aunt may because uncle ben's still around, so, peter kind of goes his own way. very quickly he can afford his own apartment by doing tv deals and very quickly he's signed on for a movie deal. he is hot shit.
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of course all of that fame and being so busy and being so secretive and spider-man's identity still being a secret to the public and to ben and may means that he ultimately grows distant from may and ben. he skips school to pursue fame, doesn't think he needs it. and i mean, the guy hates high school. it's a living hell for him. he's given an out - of course he'll take it. he doesn't graduate high school. doesn't get a college education. doesn't tell uncle ben and aunt may because obviously they wouldn't endorse him dropping out of school.
they wouldn't get it. they wouldn't understand. he becomes a mystery to them. they don't know where he goes, what's going on with him. he's barely home and then he, so very quietly, moves out with all the money he's made.
fame is fickle, though, and - spider-man doesn't capture peoples hearts for the long-term. spider-man doesn't inspire heroism in this world. he doesn't waste his effort on selfless deeds. he doesn't become a heroic figure. hence why wade doesn't join weapon x.
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the spider-man of this turn of events doesn't amount to more than a quick cash-grab, and the people are over him so quickly. people who worked with him realise he's kind of a jerk, and isn't even pulling in money anymore. spider-man becomes a has-been before he even reaches his twenties.
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so, this spider-man lives alone - can't face uncle ben and aunt may because he's quickly realising that yeah. he made the wrong choice. he dug his grave, and he has to lay in it. he's a drop-out, and he feels like peter parker is entirely worthless. he can barely look at himself in the mirror. at least as spider-man he has some power. some reputation. something. peter parker? peter parker disappeared off the face of the planet some years ago, and nobody knows who or where he is. peter parker is dead and neglected. there's no future for peter parker. so he builds a life with the skills that he has, as spider-man. he does what he's good at. becomes hired muscle. becomes hired muscle for anyone that can pay his rates. those are usually bad guys.
he falls deeper and deeper into that rabbit hole. and the further he falls, the harder it is for him to conceive he could ever come back to uncle ben and aunt may and have them welcome and accept him, with all the mistakes he's made.
unfortunately, in this particular timeline - as bex and i'd plotted it out for the alt!verse fic where wade winds up trapped with this sad, isolated peter parker - it still takes uncle ben dying to destroy peter's barricades and have him finally reach out to aunt may, in his way. first distantly offering her financial support before he, after months, eventually gains the courage to face her. and she can see the scars on his face.
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i think it kind of universally takes uncle ben dying for peter to learn "great power great responsibility" - not as peter interprets or misinterprets it, but... the loss of uncle ben meaning peter recognising he has a responsibility to the people around him. he can't disappear from it. he can't isolate himself from it. when uncle ben passes, he finds out he has a responsibility to aunt may. that's kind of the whole thing, that's what great responsibility is. him filling uncle ben's shoes.
i think that's something i'm obsessed with - that peter knows that the loss of uncle ben means he needs to step up and fill ben's shoes, but he's still not entirely sure what it means. what he has to do to be able to fill that void that's left empty by ben's absence. what ben meant. what manhood means.
great responsibility is about manhood, and looking after the people you love. it's not - it's not about what you owe the world.
i think peter unfortunately has to learn that lesson the hard way, every time.
but, eventually, at some point, peter comes home.
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yaeggravate · 4 months
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Theory: Kaeya's Vision was Given to Him by The Sinner and his Vision Gives us a Major Hint as to The Sinner's Identity.
can we talk about kaeya's vision? i've been dying to talk about kaeya's vision again.
(spoilers for everything up until 4.2)
good news, we finally got some more insight on what visions are! according to neuvilette's character story, when a person's desire reaches the heavens, archons are dutybound to put aside a shard of their mastery for them. this "mastery" originally belongs to the seven sovereigns.
To continue to subdue and control the resentments and loathing of the world, the usurper and one who came after created the Gnoses together. So it came to be that an order was made to be upheld, and thus did humans come to only possess these seven remembrances, and all fragments of the primordial were driven to devour each other. From that day on, whenever a person's wishes reached the heavens, the seven overseers of the material realm were duty-bound to grant them a gift. Though they might know nothing of who or what wish had stepped into the threshold of the sacred, the Seven Archons still had to impart a shattered shard of their mastery to that person.
after focalors destroyed the throne of the hydro archon, neuvilette gained complete authority over the hydro element. because he's a nice guy, he decided to also put aside some of his mastery to grant visions to people.
furina is one such person.
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here's the cool part; her vision looks different from other fontainians. the decoration combines ousia and pneuma elements and there are four little fangs holding the vision in place.
KAEYA'S VISION
that brings me back to the conundrum that is kaeya's vision. before furina, he was the only character with a vision that deviated from the norm.
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there are two unique oddities about his standard vision: it's missing two wings; the strings on the back are on the other side: this is an indication that it's mirrored.
(for simplicity's sake i will ignore the vision on his other outfit since it's essentially modified to match zosimos' design.)
what if kaeya's situation is similar to furina's? and i'm not just talking about their never-ending masquerade… what if his vision was granted by someone else?
WHY ARE THE STRINGS ON THE RIGHT SIDE?
i have briefly talked about this before but mirrors are associated with the abyss. this lead me to believe that it's possible that kaeya's vision might have been given by the abyss/the sinner.
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note how the strings on furina's gem also switch sides when she changes from pneuma to ousia. (pneuma (light) on the left and ousia (dark) on the right.)
it's relatively common knowledge by now that kaeya's kit shares similarities with abyss mages and heralds and that many khaenri'ahns were turned into abyssal creatures, (possibly due to them being in a similar situation as jakob ingold who possessed a "bit of the dark cold cosmos's power").
Paimon: And you said the people turned into monsters... You're trying to tell Paimon that the Abyss Order is not only related to Khaenri'ah but is actually the people of Khaenri'ah themselves!?
with the new information given, this theory seems more plausible. if neuvilette can give out visions, why not mr. purple crystal as well? if wishes can reach the "heavens", couldn't they also reach the abyss? we saw the crystal respond to clothar's praying and display a bit of creepy omniscience so you know it's powerful.
WHY IS THE VISION MISSING WINGS?
consider that the fangs on furina's vision is neuvilette's tongue-in-cheek way of hinting at him being a dragon, as his own personal touch. then could clipped wings hint towards the identity of whoever gave kaeya his vision? what do clipped wings indicate? fallen angels. what's a fallen angel? a sinner. 😏💯
Fallen angels are angels who were expelled from heaven. The literal term "fallen angel" does not appear in any Abrahamic religious texts, but is used to describe angels cast out of heaven or angels who sinned. Such angels often tempt humans to sin.
fun fact, the abyss mages are always chanting in ENOCHIAN which is popularized as the language of the angels.
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The script for this language appears while Abyss Mages are chanting to regenerate their shields as well as over their heads when performing spells outside of combat. […] The script also appears in the yellow protective runes around the weak points of Automatons, where the mirrored glyphs for B, L, and G circle around the core. Ruin Guards are known to have been made by the people of Khaenri'ah, many of whom turned into "monsters of the Abyss," so this script was possibly used in Khaenri'ah as well.
way back in the first archon quest, an abyss mage speaks to kaeya in enochian. it's significant enough that they give us a subtitle to imply kaeya can understand this angelic language; we have been shown he knows other ancient languages as well, like the language of the hilichurls and a strange script in the manga.
Kaeya: There's no way hilichurls organized an ambush like this themselves — not with their limited mental capacity... Kaeya: Thus YOU were behind this. Hydro Abyss Mage: Gohus, Chiso Vonph.
perhaps a reach but kaeya has one giant wing on his outfit, possibly a reference to the most famous video game villain in history, sephiroth, the one-winged angel?
this one is not a reach because kaeya also owns a book called the adventures of angelos. angelos is from greek ἄγγελος which means angel.
Between the pages of "The Adventures of Angelos," you find a list of names written on a sheet of official Knights of Favonius letterhead paper.
a book named angel containing a list of names, just to show the traveler he has eyes everywhere is a little on the nose if you ask me.
*edit: i forgot to include the most obvious hint, kaeya's favorite hangout: angel's share. and in the book of revelation there is a star or angel that fell to earth known as wormwood, (apsinthion in greek), which is the name of a plant used to make absinthe, which in turn is thee main ingredient of death (in the) afternoon, kaeya's favorite drink. dainsleif also likes this drink.
Wormwood (ἀψίνθιον apsinthion or ἄψινθος apsinthos in Greek) is a star or angel which appears in the Book of Revelation.
another fun fact, nabu malikata's last name malikata, besides meaning queen, could also mean angels.
In Islam, angels (Arabic: ملاك٬ ملك‎, romanized: malāk; plural: ملائِكة‎, malāʾik/malāʾikah) are believed to be heavenly beings.
nabu malikata is a survivor of the seelie race who were abandoned by the heavens; they are heavily implied to be angels. she is also the originator of the jinn. huh, i wonder why kaeya gifted us a seemingly random lamp which is said to have housed a powerful jinni...
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all this is pointing to the sinner being a fallen angel which makes sense since the archons have demonic names from the ars goetia, it stands to reason that higher abyssal beings should have angelic names.
in islam, there is a fallen angel named iblis who had four wings (like kaeya's vision) and who was chained up in the deepest part of hell (like the sinner), whose original name was azazil. khaenri'ah has some ties to arabic mythology, so who knows? this is just one possibility. interestingly enough, the names of four of the archangels ARE referenced in mona's magic circle but not azazil.
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the interesting part about the crystal is that he denies being a god and addresses the traveller as "creature"… there has been some speculation that the dragon king nibelung is the sinner, but we honestly don't have enough information to make that leap.
**edit: the domain we find the sinner in is located inside the chasm. thousands of years ago, back when zhongli was still young, an entity known as the sun or solar chariot fell to teyvat forming the chasm. this was during the time the moon sisters fell.
according to one legend, they refer to the entity as a fallen star. the star stayed in the chasm until the archon war, but before it returned to the sky it permanently left a piece of itself behind.
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also, the sinner's domain has enkanomiyan statues and architecture. in enkanomiya, there is an achievement you can get called phosphorus' guidance, which you get by following seelies. phosphorus is the greek name for the morning star. the latin name for the morning star is lucifer, now best known as the name of a fallen angel.
The Ancient Greeks called the morning star Φωσφόρος, Phosphoros, the "Bringer of Light". Another Greek name for the morning star was Heosphoros, meaning "Dawn-Bringer".
dawn-bringer, you say? reminds me of the harbinger of dawn kaeya gives you in the very beginning of the game. what are you trying to tell us, bud?
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lastly, the traveler notes the upside down defiled statue of the anemo archon is similar to the sinner. the statue, of course, has wings. it's funny because when we meet kaeya for the very first time, it's in front of the anemo god statue in front of the cathedral... notably, both dainsleif, and kaeya in his hangout route do not go inside the cathedral.
Kaeya: Perfect. (Traveler), why don't you head into the Cathedral and invite Sister Barbara to join us? I'll look for another friend who's interested in helping us.
Dainsleif: When a non-believer steps onto holy ground, the result is never pretty.
WHY DOES THE VISION HAVE A MONDSTADT CASING?
khaenri'ah was outside of the rule of the seven, hidden from the gaze of the gods. we don't know yet if in days of old khaenri'ahns could receive visions but we do have dainsleif's character card to give us a clue.
The listed name of his Vision's element, as announced on his Chinese Character Card, is a set of indecipherable symbols.
so dainsleif does have a vision; it's just that it has manifested as something else, possibly because unlike kaeya-seemingly a normal human-he is cursed.
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in any case, we've seen wanderer receive a complete sumeru vision despite not even being from there and arlecchino has a shneznayan casing despite loving her homeland fontaine. (although there might be some other shit going on with her.)
this means vision casings are tied to the region the receiver is in and has nothing to do with where a person is born. if neuvilette were to gift someone from outside fontaine a hydro vision, they would receive a casing from the region they're in. fontainians have pneuma or ousia alignments but arlecchino's shneznayan vision has no indication of what she is aligned with. though again, arlecchino is not a normal human being, who knows what's going on there.
Along with Divinity: Prologue [...] we should be conscious of the fact that what shapes our thinking, logic, culture, philosophy and aesthetics is not the archons themselves, but the objective environment that exists around us. This world around us is what we have inherited, and what this book shows is that the people of Teyvat have always been, and always will be, heirs to a divine legacy — but not to divinity itself.
(also thought it was pretty interesting how capitano calls the gnosis, the gnosis from inazuma instead of "the electro gnosis" or the "gnosis from the electro archon".)
aaand scene. please note that this is all kind of jumbled wild speculation and should not be taken as fact! this is all in good fun.
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nanomooselet · 1 month
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Little but Fierce VI
She winds up… there's the pitch…
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Poor Nick. It never stops being funny. I'd feel sorrier that this happened to him but he's such a bastard in his introductory episode. It's like karma in advance.
Heheh. Kar-ma.
Meryl and Wolfwood behave very much like siblings to each other, while Vash and Roberto treat them like their awful terrible kids. Roberto does actually try reach out to Vash as a mentor once or twice, but of course Vash is fuck-off old and doesn't need that kind of assistance, so he's gently deflected. Roberto is old and wise enough to keep his distance. Nick, for his part, enjoys pissing Roberto off, and Roberto is for his part duly pissed off.
Still, Vash is the reason they're all even there in the first place and Meryl shows him concern. And Vash, in his way, fusses over Nick the way Roberto feels responsible for Meryl. A lot of what Vash does, he's doing pretty much solely for Wolfwood's benefit. I mean, look at this pathetic wet kitten of a man - you can't tell me he doesn't need it.
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I've already talked at some length about why exactly Vash is like he is about Wolfwood, but what's he like about Meryl?
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Pretty much exactly as fond. He's just quieter about it. To my read, he's confident she and Roberto can look after themselves and each other. That's really endearing to him, but not something he has to do anything about. And Meryl's not suffering the same kind of identity crisis as the Punisher/Wolfwood/Nico. Meryl knows exactly who she is, she's just trying to get everyone else to acknowledge it, and Vash does so from the first - she's never anything but "Meryl" to him, not "newbie" or "little lady". She never has to demand that of him.
Nor is she in directly a victim of his godawful brother, which thankfully means she isn't his responsibility to help - or at least, no more so than any given human. Also, it's Vash. What's that? Someone is invested in his well-being? Golly, that sounds suspiciously like he's being cared for (which of course he doesn't deserve), or (more reasonably) like someone vulnerable to being caught up in Knives's manipulations. Or just someone vulnerable to Knives period. Stampede out!
I though you guys were buddies./I thought you three had something special. 
No way./Yeah, not really.
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Too bad for him, he's met his match in Meryl Stryfe.
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In direct contrast to every other character around Vash, she's only one there not because she has to be, or because she needs or wants something from him, but because she decided to be. She's one of the only characters with agency, after all.
Real people aren't monsters like that./He's a man, not a monster.
But I won't give up, no matter how unreasonable the assignment!/I won't abandon an assignment just because it's silly.
We can't just leave him hanging here./No way. We can't just leave him here.
And she's also decided he needs help. So come hell or high water, this man is getting helped.
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It's her knack for finding the truth without quite knowing the reasoning behind it. In physical terms Vash really, really doesn't need help, and it's the mistake Knives always makes; that because Vash ostensibly doesn't have powers like him, he's in need of a defender. (And because this is Knives, that means it's up to him personally, and he's entitled to Vash and his exclusive love/loyalty/devotion in return. Any protests Vash makes are clearly just human corruption.) But what Vash actually needs is something his brother has never, in any version of the story, demonstrated the capacity to give him. Even sensitive little boy Knives back in Maximum relied on others for reassurance up until the moment he decided he couldn't.
Vash is more inclined to be someone others rely on, to the point of being maladaptive. It's being unable to help that gets to him, especially when he's held responsible.
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What he needs is emotional support. Or, well... faith.
Wolfwood gives that to him eventually, but it takes some serious work, and it comes with its own attendant difficulties, like the fact that Nick's not in a position to extend Vash help himself no matter how much he might want to. Nick is, like Rosa and like Vash, a pragmatist. Do what you have to do.
Meryl has never needed that kind of direct demonstration. To her, Vash is a person, and people always need help, and she's not going to be prevented giving it. End of discussion. And despite being mistaken on some particulars, on this point she's more right than even she knows.
The contrast with Wolfwood is incidentally why Meryl hitting Woofwoof with the truck isn't just fucking funny, it's the perfect way for him to be introduced. He can't catch the same bus as Vash by happenstance because this time Vash is his actual target. He can't have Angelina II because personal transport is autonomy he's not permitted to have.
Instead, Meryl's own autonomy and narrative significance had her run the plot right into him, completely ruining whatever plans were laid for his entrance. Notice Roberto tries to steer Meryl away from the collision course they're on, to no avail, and Vash winds up flipped over. Fantastic.
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Wolfwood is getting dragged around; Meryl is the one doing the dragging. When she discovers Vash's secrets, she works to accept them and integrate them into her worldview - which means that the moment she learns he's a Plant, she doesn't reject him or become fearful of him. She instantly accepts that must mean the Plants are also people. That gives her a fuller understanding of the conflict, and especially Vash's view of it, than most. It's not a matter of "Whose side are you on?" It's "How do we move forward together?"
Wolfwood's knowledge has all been filtered through the Eye of Michael, so he's more aware of the details, but can't disentangle his true beliefs from the ideology driving them.
Meryl has a better understanding of the abstract. And that, in turn, entitles her to learn what the available methods are, and judge them...
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...But it also entitles her to something more precious: Vash's unquestioning trust.
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It's certainly much less dramatic than the demonstrations between Vash and Nick, but I have to say: any amount of exposure to Knives and his histrionics would leave me, at least, pretty relieved to have it.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VII
Part VIII
Part IX
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