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reginasrandomthoughts · 5 years

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So I watched Crimes of Grindelwald...

...yesterday, opening night (in my country), after a long day, and all I got from it was confusion, a bit of anger and this water bottle:

(and yes, I doctored the image because, just like most of the film, it has dull, dakr colours. I hate it, thanks) Full spoilers beneath because I am just pissed (I think I will think about the positives separately).

So... let’s start with the ladies. Leta Lestrange.

I will only mention it in passing that here is another Slytherin character getting the shaft, because as much as it bothers me, this is not the point here. By my count there are three black characters named AND with speaking roles and Leta is one of them. (the other female chara is Seraphina Picquery who is gone after the first 4 minutes, the third is Leta’s half brother’s but we’ll talk about him later)

So anyway: her background story: Leta’s mother, a beautiful black woman of high aristocratic standing was coveted, Imperioed, abducted and raped by Corvus Lestrange, Leta’s father, and I think she died while giving birth to Leta. I think this is the point where someone should have talked to JK about slavery, because if this story is raising redflags for me, a white European, it must be obvious in the US. Gosh. Going on Leta’s father remarries goes on to have another child, that child needs to be taken to America bc Yusuf Karma, Leta’s half brother, swore an unbreakable vow to kill what’s dearest to Lestrange. So now roughly 10 year old Leta is on a boat to the US with a half-elf nanny and the baby that refuses to stop crying and she trades the baby off with another baby boy on the ship (she intended to do it just for a little while) and then the ship sinks and the baby brother drowns. (Sidenote: the switched away baby is Credence). The image of the sinking baby is Leta’s boggart (good luck making that funny). In Hogwarts she was a troublemaking outcast whose only friend was Newt, and as an adult she is described as someone who nobody in the wizarding world loves. Also, she has this thing with Newt where she is totally in love with him but for some reason she is going to marry his brother? She also works at the ministry that is portrayed as one of the bad guys and oh yea, she dies at the end after a fake-out “will she join Grindelwald?” moment. She supposedly dies to protect Newt (Theseus?? I don’t know, her last words are “I love you” and she is looking at where both of them are standing together, so we shall never know). By the way, remember the time Leta was described as a taker by Queenie? Apparently, her “being a taker” involves her thinking she doesn’t deserve to be loved by Newt because she thinks of herself as a monster. Also, apart from her backstory scenes she doesn’t do much regardless of how her backstory is kind of important for the central mystery of the film and how the final showdown takes place in the Lestrange tomb.

Now, next up is Nagini. Remember all the outrage caused by the sudden reveal that Voldemort’s snake used to be an Asian lady who turned into a snake against her own will? Remember how people brought up the submissive Asian woman trope in connection with that? It’s worse in the movie. After Credence and her escape from the circus where she is held she does nothing. She is just there to be Credence’s comfort blanket. She transforms into a snake twice: once in the circus and once when she is attacked but that doesn’t do much and Credence has to save her. (btw, I don’t blame her for it. If i knew that one day I won’t be able to turn back into a human I would, too, try to spend as much time as a human as possible.) Also, two more things: she and Credence are posed as this couple and we are supposed to be feeling bad for her when Credence goes with Grindelwald to find out about his past rather than build a future with her. But their relationship is already undermined by the fact that Dumbledore says (I think it’s him) that the obscurus grows in absence of companionship and friendship and if Credence were to get it, it would disappear and in the film, Credence still turns into an funky looking angry black smoke bomb so... REALLY hoping she gets a TON of development in subsequent movies.

Queenie... Queenie is portrayed as a date rapist here. There is no tiptoeing around it. She enchants Jacob (presumably with a love spell that incapacitates him to the point he cannot cut his own food up) so she can whisk him away so they can get married because Jacob didn’t want to take the risk of marrying her and her being taken to prison for it. Jacob asks her when she planned on releasing him, when they were married with five kids? And Queenie has no answer for it. You know who else did something like this in the HP universe? Merope Guant, the woman who gave birth to Voldemort. Not a company you wanna be in, since it is heavily implied that it was because of the love potion she used that Voldemort became what he was. Also, can we just point out that Jacob already loved Queenie and just wanted to protect her and Queenie’s reaction to this was to take his free will and his ability to disagree away from him? Queenie ends up joining Grindelwald to create a world where muggles can marry wizards, but Jacob calls her crazy for it and rejects her when she suggests that and she still goes! Her decision costs her the reason why she’s making that decision in the first place! What are you hoping for at this point, Queenie? Another enchantment?

I don’t really agree with this sudden shift in character, but oh well. Also, now apparently Queenie also has trouble with her legilimens abilities that can overwhelm her.Don’t know how I’m feeling about that, but how the fuck is a legilimens who can READ PEOPLE’S MINDS gets duped by the bad guys?

The other female characters I didn’t see enough of to have an opinion and TIna I mostly liked. She is finally showing bits of the badass auror she could be. Good luck competing with a ghost for Newt’s love though. She and Newt are portrayed as this “we are just getting together” couple but I always felt like Newt would ditch him if Leta wanted him back. Even though Tina is a way better fit. Liked their parallel scenes with the monkey-koi-kitten thingy.

Now onto the men.

Yusuf Karma. Yusuf swore an unbreakable to kill what is dearest to Lestrange after he abducted and raped his mother which resulted in his father going insane. He assumes that most precious son is Credence so he is just going after him and at more than one points he says something along the lines of “I have to do it, it’s either him or me”. This is not even the proper avenger philosophy because it is literally true, because if he doesn’t kill him the vow will kill Yusuf. Ofc, since a large part of the story is about sympathizing with Credence and wanting to save him Yusuf is portrayed as a villain for a lot of the time. Also, while I’m throwing stones, isn’t Yusuf’s mother the “woman in the fridge” trope? Put there to create angst for a male character? She isn’t even the one Leta is angsting over. It is literally just Yusuf (and his dad who is never shown).

Sidenote: Grindelwald has an Asian henchmen, who is so unimportant that I had to look up his name on Imdb (it’s Krall nolastname) who is the only one of Grindelwald’s followers who dies in the fire (fiendfire??) Grindelwald uses to test the loyalty of his followers. It was foreshadowed but I still don’t get how he betrayed Grindelwald because he wasn’t even on screen long enough to do so. It’s almost like he was only put there to die. BTW, I don’t even think there were any more notable Asian characters apart from him and Nagini. Good representation there JK.

The other male characters I didn’t have much of a problem with. Newt I liked, Jacob was okay but was better in the first film, Theseus was an asshole but the Leta angst worked and I came to like-pity him a bit, Credence I felt for... Surprisingly even Grindelwald worked. Even though he always looked like he was just about to fuck whoever he was talking to. I don’t know how I feel about Johnny Depp in the role, but at least it looked like he put in some work.

And now the plot.

So many fucking fake-outs. The whole plot is a fucking fake-out. So according to the plot Grindelwald is looking for Credence in Paris and Credence is looking for his birth parents and his true past. And there is this whole confusion because the half-elf servant of the Lestranges’ is the one who signed his adoption papers, and for a while it is thought that Credence is the lost Lestrange baby and Yusuf thus wants to kill him, but then Leta’s backstory is told and it turns out that this whole treasure hunt leading us on was pointless because it turns out that Credence is not a Lestrange and Leta has no idea who he is. At which point Grindelwald offers tot ell Credence who he is and Credence goes with him and BAMM, you’re Aurelius Dumbledore, Credence, Albus is your brother and wants you dead. HOW???!!! So I read up some theories here but here is the thing, none of the theories that were born so far manage to help this shit make sense. Like, okay, let’s see the flimsy proof for it: Albus Dumbledore says that when in dire need a phoenix will come to a Dumbledore ans Credence finds a little bird and at the end of the film that baby bird turns into a full fledged phoenix. Cool. But also, this scene ties Credence thematically to Newt, who also was shown nursing a baby bird (although a raven, which is the Lestrange emblem, so please @me any crazy theories about how that foreshadows that Credence is a Lestrange and how Newt will save him or how Credence is a Scamander or even ship things. all three would make more sense than Aurelius Dumbledore does) So, the first reaction from people seems to be “Grindelwald is lying to get Credence to go after Dumbledore” because we know that he thinks that Credence is the only one who could kill Dumbledore. I am leaning towards this but at the same time I REALLY hope it’s not true. Why? Because then this whole fucking movie is pointless. Credence’s arc throughout the series would just be this shit: Credence you are an unimportant squib, no actually you are a powerful obscurus, no actually you are the lost Lestrange baby, well actually you are Aurelius Dumbledore and then presumably, actually I lied I have no idea who you are, probably just a nobody who just happened to be strong. I can totally see it go this way, I feel like it will go this way, but can we just lay off the clichés please? Anyway, prime points supporting this conclusion apart from logic is: Grindelwald was looking for a much younger obscurus than Credence, a.k.a. he could not have been looking for a lost Dumbledore, Grindelwald knew about the Dumbledore family legend as well so he could have faked the phoenix (??), thematically this whole “your past is not as important as your future and it does not defy you” theme would play into this.

Now there are of course other theories, like “he truly is a Lestrange and the elf-lady had to die to hide that fact and the records were manipulated” but so were Leta’s memories then? Also, the elf-lady had to die so Credence would have no choice but to walk into Grindelwald’s trap for answers. My favourite one has to be “Credence has Ariana’s obscurus in him” simply because of the how? That goes against HP canon, that goes against obscurus lore and that goes against Fantastic Beasts timeline. So... yea, I hope it is true, because at least that would be interesting. If we gonna go crazy go full crazy.

Last but not least there were a few elements that mildly annoyed me. Like Yusuf having a weird eye parasite, which I read as a fake-out as to why he needed to kill Credence, but which went nowhere. The “Newt has an assistant at home who is in love with him went nowhere. And the best of all, Grindelwald is going to be brought down because a fucking niffler stole his fucking jewelry that binds him and Dumbledore to not fight each other. What the fuck is up with that.

Also, I just remembered it, which is a shame, but Grindelwald was campaigning for a wizard take-over by showing the future a.k.a. World War II to his followers, including the atom bomb, and saying this is what will happen if the muggles are allowed to rule themselves. CAN JK ROWLING PLEASE NOT LEAN INTO THE WORLD WAR II AND NAZI REFERENCES FOR ONCE??? Just once, look at the real world parallels JK and walk away! Fuck.

#Regina thinks out typed #Regina rants about shit #crimes of grindelwald #crimes of grindelwald spoilers

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texanredrose · 6 years

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Losing Sleep Twilight

Part XIX

Yang held her breath, on the verge of tears but doing her level best to keep them at bay. Just past three in the morning, she stood in the cramped hospital room with her heart beating wildly in her chest and a proud smile on her lips, watching as their eldest daughter carefully brushed her fingertips along their first grandchild's face.

"She's beautiful," Zephyr whispered, shifting slightly so her husband could see. "She has your cheeks."

"I'm not so sure about that," Verdel replied, and she could sympathize; Schnee genes ran strong, and for all of Winter's talk about how much their daughters would take after Yang, they looked every bit the spitting image of their Mom, though with a little more width to their shoulders and hips. A good thing, too; Zephyr had hardly spent any time in labor and looked a girl deal better than she had after having the now new mother. "But she is beautiful." Zephyr hummed, eyes drooping shut for a moment, something he seemed to notice, too. "Hey, Momma? You wanna hold her?"

A slight frown touched her lips briefly but she quickly flashed a smile. "Sure, Son."

She exchanged a glance with Winter- still too emotional over their first grandbaby to really register the oddity of the request- and they stepped closer together. Mainly because Yang had started worrying about her wife's balance recently; after their last ski trip, she'd noticed Winter had a bit more trouble remaining solid on her feet. The doctor assured it wasn't anything serious, just a result of a rough tumble, but she didn't quite believe that. Then again, she wasn't moving around so good herself, though she hid it well enough as they both shuffled over to Zephyr's bedside. Yang reached out, taking the baby from her daughter's arms. Hardly eight pounds, such a tiny little thing, but she remembered when the exhausted woman in the hospital bed was about the same size.

"Winter, look," she said, cooing even as she tapped a setting on her arm, adding a very low vibration that simulated both a heartbeat and circulation in her prosthetic. "Ever seen anyone so little and so precious?"

"It's been about twenty years," Winter replied, leaning against her shoulder to look down at their grandchild. "She's going to grow up like her mother and Momma before her."

"Yeah, she will," Yang said, watching Verdel fuss over Zephyr for a moment. It reminded her so much of the few memories she had of Winter hovering around her, ready to chase off any unwanted visitors and bending over backwards to make her comfortable. "If you're lucky, she'll be like you and Zizi."

"Don't joke." Zephyr gave a tired chuckle. "You'll give her ideas. I'm a doctor, not a lawyer; I can't keep up."

"You'll find ways, trust me," Winter replied, leaning over to kiss their daughter's forehead. "You did amazing, Zephie. Should I go get the others?"

She nodded. "I might look like I just finished a twenty four... but I can't wait for her to meet them."

"You gonna be okay?" Yang's brows furrowed as her wife started for the door.

"I'll be fine," Winter replied with a cheeky grin. "It's just down the hall."

As the newborn began to squirm, her attention refocused on the little one. "Have you two thought of a name?"

"Wisteria," Verdel said, with a little grin.

"She told you about that, huh?" Yang chuckled. "It's a good name."

"It is." She looked down at the baby, a bittersweet pang in her chest; she already loved this little one just as much as her own children. However, she'd held Wisteria longer than she probably should've, and Zephyr was drifting in and out of consciousness. "Ready to have her back, V?"

She nodded down towards the baby. Almost immediately, his expression changed to one of concern as he drew back, hiding his left hand away. "Uh, Zizi and Zach should be here in a minute, I'm sure they'll want to hold her."

Ah, so that's it.

"They will. But she's your daughter." Yang walked around the hospital bed, using a severe look to pin him in place. "You or Zephie should be holding her when they come in, and she's a bit out of it."

He swallowed, hard. "But... what if I-"

"You won't," she said, offering up the precious little bundle. "You're her father and you love her." As he hesitantly reached towards Wisteria, the hospital lights glinting off his own prosthetic hand, she gently smiled. "You won't hurt her. She already knows that. Believe me- she's going to be Daddy's girl." Wisteria began to fuss and Verdel drew back at first, though clearing her throat seemed to encourage him. As he took the infant into his arms, Wisteria quieted down, though she did seem to squirm. "See? You better be careful, V. She's going to be your shadow for the next twenty years, just watch."

He didn't hear her. His entire focus was consumed by the sweet little angel in his arms.

Yang looked over to see Zephyr's tired but proud smile. "I did pretty good. Huh, Momma?"

"Just like I knew you would." She smiled. "Now you've got a little family of your own." She reached out with her left hand to grab her daughter's, squeezing lightly. "Be half the woman your mother was and you'll be brilliant."

Zephyr laughed. "That's what Mom says about you." She paused. "And either way, that's a high bar."

"You can make it." Verdel looked up. "We can. Right?"

"Right," Yang replied.

"Make way, best Aunt coming through-"

"And best Uncle!"

"Zizi, Zach, keep your voices down, we're in a hospital."

"Yes, Mom."

"Don't sass your mom, Babe."

"Don't suck up to my mom, Sweetheart."

"Zizi, language!"

"Oh come on!"

Yang rolled her eyes as her kids and wife returned, with their own partners in tow, only to put a hand to her forehead as a rather irate fellow grandmother came in, pointing out how she was clearly the best Aunt, hands down, with Blake watching in amusement as her wife began fussing over her niece and nephew. Meanwhile, Yang stole a glance back at the new parents, at Wisteria wrapping a tiny hand around Verdel's prosthetic finger. Winter came back to her side, putting an arm around her shoulders as the shenanigans began in earnest, only one thought on her mind.

They did pretty good.

Part XX

Winter sighed heavily in relief as she sank back into the back seat, allowing her eyes to close for a brief moment. Mentally, she acknowledged she'd gotten much too old for these red eye flights, her back complaining rather insistently despite the comfort in first class seats. However, all that fell away at the little whine from the car seat next to her, and she smiled across the car to her wife's pinched expression.

"Oh, hush little Xavier, it's okay." Yang reached into the car seat to soothe the toddler, voice soft. "We're all done now. Don't cry."

"He'll be fine once we start moving," Zach said from the front seat, slipping his seatbelt on and preparing to pull away from the terminal. "Sorry; my sitter bailed on me and I didn't want to wake up Zephyr or Verdel."

"Are Zise and Taylor-"

"Oh, right, they probably didn't tell you; Yvonne came down with a cold a few days ago. They're both fretting over her."

Winter looked back towards Yang as the car started moving, the two exchanging a knowing smile. "Sounds familiar."

Zach smirked at them in the rear view. "You taught us well, Mom."

"Your Momma was the one fretting most of the time."

"I remember it a little differently," Yang said, offering the pacifier to their youngest grandchild. From one to five with a sixth on the way, they'd still not gotten over the immense pride and swell of affection that came with every little coo their grandchildren gave. "Have you heard anything else from Marigold?"

"Momma," Zach replied with a weary sigh. "She's not coming back."

"Maybe she's just-"

"Momma." His lips turned down at the corners. "She officially relinquished custody today. She's not coming back."

Winter leaned forward, reaching out to lay a hand on her son's shoulder. "Zach-"

"I'm fine," he replied, flashing a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes- an expression his grandpa wore all too often. "I mean... it hurts. But now I know she's not going to make Xavier's life one of choosing between us. And it's not like he's lacking for strong, motherly role models."

"Still, son. It must be difficult for you." She squeezed his shoulder. "If you need anything, just let us know."

Zach laughed. "What, and stop your world wide tour? I can't deprive Remnant of your visits; that'd be selfish."

"Well, I'm afraid we've beat you to it," Yang said with a grin. "We're going back to being home bodies."

"Missing the inside of your classroom?" Zach chuckled.

"I'm retiring, actually," she said, looking down at Xavier and smiling as the toddler fell back asleep thanks to the rocking motion of the car ride.

"What? Since when?"

Winter bit her tongue lightly, leaning back into her seat.

"I've used up all my vacation days and I've seen all Remnant has to offer with the most beautiful woman beside me," her wife replied with a soft laugh. "I think it's time to just be Grandma for a bit."

"Like you can ever be just anything." Their son laughed, pulling off the highway towards his own neighborhood. They'd all agreed that spending the night with Zach and Xavier would be best; their house sat on the other side of town, at least another thirty minutes away, and given the early hour, they'd rather not. Plus, finding out their grandson needed someone to watch him the following day certainly made the decision easier. "You're going to get restless."

"Yeah, but maybe Taylor needs help with that boat of theirs," Yang replied with a shrug. "Besides, free babysitters. It'll be good to be around the grandkids more."

Winter looked out through the window at the predawn neighborhood, the barest hints of people rousing for those early mornings- some for work, others for school. Together, they'd seen what felt like all of Remnant in various states but she remembered most fondly their own home in such hours, tending to their children. She could look forward to similar instances looking after their grandchildren, at least.

"Hey, do you want to bring Xavier up to the zoo tomorrow?"

"We could do that," Yang said with a smile. "You cleaning out the elephant enclosure?"

She raised a brow in curiosity; last they'd been told, Zach worked almost exclusively with the big cats.

"Actually, we just opened up the snow leopard habitat, and I have a sneaking suspicion they might be Xav's favorites." Their son chuckled. "You should see how he reacts when he sees one."

"We look forward to it."

Silence filled the car for a moment before Zach broke it. "Mom? You okay?"

"Of course," she replied.

"You're really quiet."

"I'm tired." Shifting, a sigh passed her lips. "I'm not a fan of early mornings anymore."

"That's an understatement." Her wife teased, though something flashed in her eyes- sympathy, and a testament to how much stronger Yang was to hide her own exhaustion so well. "A nap and we'll be fine."

Winter held her peace as they arrived at Zach's house, getting out of the car with a quiet groan. They only brought in a couple bags, with Zach doing most of the heavy lifting while Winter grabbed their carry on and Yang carried Xavier. He started to fuss only a little before being put to bed in his crib while Winter unpacked their essentials from the bag, Zach wishing them a good night before retiring to his own room for a small nap before work.

When Yang entered the guest room, her wife quickly detached her prosthetic with a whimper and a sigh. Then, she approached, reaching up to message away the tight muscles in her wife's shoulders.

"Have you thought more about switching to the lighter prosthetic?" She ventured, softly.

"I dunno." Yang sighed. "I think I might just go without."

"Are you sure?" It wasn't a decision to make lightly. Despite the fact they couldn't do all the things they had when they were younger, opting to not use the prosthetic meant more stress and strain on her other arm. Considering the discomfort the last trip had brought with it for both of them- going up north had not done them any favors- the end of their vacationing days wasn't so bad but focusing on spending time with their grandkids... Winter worried about what the future might bring. "The lighter version-"

"Snowdrift." Yang's shoulders fell. "I'm tired and so are you."

She watched her wife's expression for a moment before nodding. "Let's go to bed. We'll talk about it in the morning." Winter helped Yang get dressed, both of them getting under the covers and cuddling up the same as they'd done for nearly forty five years. "Good night, Sundrop." She pressed a kiss against her wife's shoulder. "I love you."

"Love you too." Yang turned her head, kissing her good night, and they both fell into a sweet slumber born of exhaustion.

Part XXI

Yang furrowed her brows, frowning down at the wrapped box. It was too big to grab with only one arm, even with her stump to brace, and frustratingly enough... too heavy. She'd already tried hefting it onto her shoulder to no avail, leaving her standing in the study alone with a big present for the six grandkids still sleeping soundly throughout the house. She'd thought she could sneak out, get the presents under the tree in the dead of night, and back in bed without anyone being the wiser, just like the old days.

"Now what?"

"You ask for help."

Yang blinked, looking back to the study door and finding her wife there, leaning against the doorframe. She tried making it look easy but, seeing as her cane was nowhere in sight, obviously needed the support.

"You should be asleep, Snowflake."

"Without you? Perish the thought." She shuffled into the room, nodding towards the present. "I'll grab that."

"It's heavy." Zach and Taylor had helped load it up and bring it in, but they were asleep like everyone else.

"It can't be that heavy," her wife said, bending down to try lifting it up. After about a minute of trying, filling the room with grunts and groans while Yang watched with a hand on her hip, Winter straightened up and panted. "How did we even buy this?"

"Home delivery, remember?" She chuckled, though she sympathized with the furrow to her wife's brows.

"Maybe if we both try?"

"Let's find out." They both bent down, struggling to just get it off the ground, but Yang didn't have the strength she used to and Winter's back was giving her more trouble now than it had before, and they both silently agreed to set it down between Yang's reddened face and Winter's wince.

"Okay." Her wife puffed out a breath. "Now what?"

"You ask for help." They both turned to see Zise standing in the doorway now, hands on her hips and frowning at them. "Only you two would have a house full of people and still try to do things yourself."

"You should be asleep," Winter said, with enough of a gleam to her eyes for Yang to find amusement.

"Uh, this is my house; you can't give me a bedtime in my own house!" Their middle daughter made a motion down the hallway before stepping into the room, rolling up the sleeves of her robe. "What did you two even buy that's this heavy?"

"This is a present from Santa." Winter shrugged, leaning back against a wall as Taylor entered the study. "He made them a special present."

Just before her spouse knelt down to assist with picking up the gift, Zise stood straight up and rounded on her mom. "Don't tell me you two got those robopets-"

"You got them robopets?" Zach whispered as he ducked into the room, his gaze shifting away from Winter to look at his sister. "By the way, you're being way too loud."

"I am not-"

"Yes, you are," Zephyr said, Verdel right behind her.

"She's not usually this cranky," Taylor said apologetically, though they had a mischievous look oh their face.

"Yes she is," everyone else in the room replied, quiet laughter following as Zise rolled her eyes.

"Would you three get over here and help us instead of being smartasses?"

Yang stepped back, allowing the five to crowd around the present- which was, in fact, a set of robopets, six little mechanical dragons waiting to be activated the following morning. Her wife seemed equally amused by their children's lighthearted squabbling combined with spouses' gentle ribbing until they had the present lifted up. And that's when they heard the squeak of a door opening elsewhere in the house- which, with all the adults in the room currently, could only mean one thing.

"I got this," Yang said with a smirk, quickly heading for the door and ignoring the way her right hip made each step a bit shorter than in past years, nearly breaking her expression, but she manage to plaster on a tired smile as she slipped out of the room. A few steps down the hall, she made the turn towards the stairs and got halfway up before she could see the sliver of light against the far wall up ahead. On the landing, she saw Wisteria leading her little brother out of their bedroom, both freezing at being confronted.

"Grandma!" Wisteria kept her voice down, making a quick motion with her hand. "Grandma, did you hear Santa, too?"

"I did!" She knelt down by the two, immediately regretting it but resolving to deal with it later. "I had a little talk with him."

Wisteria's eyes lit up as Walter clapped his hands together. "Santa!"

She nodded. "Yup. He said you two were really good this year, but you still need to be good, and that means going back to bed. It's still too early to go downstairs."

"But Grandma!" Wisteria pouted, gaze drifting over Yang's shoulder. "Grandmom, please!"

"Oh no, that's not going to work." Winter chuckled. "You heard Grandma."

"See?" She smiled. "Go back to bed, you two. Morning will be here soon enough."

Although not happy about it, Wisteria and Walter turned around and went back into the guest bedroom, sharing the space with Xavier- still sitting in his bed, wide awake but wise enough not to leave the room before Dad came to get him- while their cousins slept in another room. Winter gave her a hand, helping her back to her feet, and sending a warning look further down the hall followed by the quiet 'click' of a door closing. Alone in the hallway and mere hours away from the children being impossible to contain, they exchanged a look.

In the weak light, Yang saw amusement twinkling in blue eyes and a touch of sadness as she likely remembered a Christmas Eve now decades past. The same night played again in her own mind, the memory still so crisp- she sometimes forgot where her keys were or that they moved the local supermarket down a block, but she remembered the best Christmas present she'd ever received in the form of her wife grabbing her in the dead of night to fulfill a promise to their daughter.

They hardly looked like they did then- she couldn't wear her prosthetic anymore and her blonde locks had lost their color completely about five years ago, the slow process of turning white as her wife's taking nearly two decades.(edited)For a moment, she was lost in a memory.

But then she was slumped against her wife, blinking her vision clear. "Huh?"

"Sundrop? Can you hear me?" The worry in Winter's voice brought her gaze up to see her wife's expression, pinched together as she struggled to keep the woman on her feet. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She drew in a breath, noting the ache in her chest and fuzziness in her head. "Got lightheaded when I stood up. Nothing to worry about." Nothing changed in those blue eyes. "I'm okay, Snowdrift." She coughed a few times and shook her head, feeling much better after a moment to gather her bearings. "Let's go make sure the gifts are all placed, and then lay down. It's going to be a long day."

"Yang," she said, voice hard as steel though a warble existed at the edges. "That's the third time this month."

"And the doc told you to use your cane." She shot back, though she relented quick enough. "I'll make an appointment. If it happens again, we'll go to the emergency room. Okay?" Reaching out, she rubbed her wife's arm. "It's Christmas, Snowdrift. Let's enjoy it."

"Very well," she replied, likely only relenting because she truly did need her cane nowadays. "But if you breathe one word of me walking around without my cane to Weiss, I'm telling Ruby about these spells of yours. It's hard enough getting her to take her heart medication without me setting a poor example."

"Deal." They exchanged a kiss and started towards the stairs, helping each other down. In a few short hours, the house would be alive with squealing children, and eventually with two more clans as their sisters' families joined the fray, and Yang felt her heart ache for all the love filling it.

Part XXII

Winter sat with the weight of the world on her shoulders, the arm chair comfortable but unable to make her feel any semblance of ease. They'd known this day was coming for years but that didn't make the reality any easier to cope with, especially with the steady beeping of the EKG occasionally deviating, and with each stall and start, she felt her own heart stop and start again. The doctors had come and gone but they hadn't broken the silence yet. Winter for fear of what would be said; Yang because she'd been staring out the window and lost in thought the whole time.

Finally, she spoke. "Im sorry, Snowdrift."

She winced, chin falling with her shoulders. For the past few years, her wife's heart had started to fail. She'd always had problems with her cholesterol, and their trips around Remnant meant being a bit more lax in her diet, but when they'd returned... she hadn't gone back to it. Yang continued eating whatever struck her fancy. It made sense- she'd always had a hearty appetite- but those little cheats caught up. When the dizzy spells continued, she went to the doctor as promised, and that's when they learned- her heart wasn't getting enough blood. She tried changing her diet then but the damage had been done and her first heart attack came hardly a year ago. Medication didn't seem to help and knowing her father had passed under similar circumstances... Yang always had the largest heart, loving everyone freely... the irony didn't escape her and she cursed it all the same. But she didn't give up just yet.

"A heart transplant-"

"Snowdrift," she said with a small smile. "I'm seventy four. I've lived a good life." The corners of her mouth turned down. "If I could, I'd stay with you and the kids and grandkids forever. But we know that's not possible. I can't take twenty years from someone else just to try for that century mark myself."

Her throats constricted as she forced herself to her feet, using her cane to hobble over to her wife's bedside. She slipped her hand into Yang's, squeezing lightly. She understood the logic- of course she did- but she wanted to be selfish. "They've got those prosthetic hearts now-"

"I don't qualify." She frowned. "You know that."

"If there's one person on this planet who can change reality with just words, it's me," she said, feeling the tears stinging at her eyes. "But I won't change your mind."

"No," her wife said with a deep sigh and a wince, clinging tight to the hand in hers. Once, it would've been strong enough to crack Winter's knuckles, but now it didn't even draw a little pain. "I love you, Snowdrift."

"I love you, too, Sundrop." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Yang's lips. "I'll get the doctor and call the kids."

Winter marshaled her strength and turned towards the door, pulling out her scroll and calling Zephyr first. Then Zise, then Zach, and each promised they'd be there as soon as they could, though the speed with which they showed up was telling; she wouldn't be surprised if they'd taken up residence in the hospital's cafe after she'd told them of Yang's hospitalization. The conversation with the doctor's, though, was more taxing, though they tried to be compassionate with the questions and paperwork. Winter felt a lead weight drop into her stomach as her wife signed the paper and it soured when she put her own name beneath it.

"Mom?" Zephyr's brows pinched together while Verdel immediately went to Yang's bedside. "Are you sure we can't talk her out of it?"

"You know your Momma," she said, her voice weak. "Once she sets her mind to something... there's no changing it."

Her eldest daughter nodded, taking a deep breath to stave off the tears before joining her husband. Zise, Taylor, and Zach joined them, while the grandkids were all spending the night with friends. That was probably for the best; better that they remember Grandma with a smiling face than with machines hooked into her. Winter called Ruby and Weiss, too. They wouldn't be able to make it in time but she did turn the video so Yang could see, weak smiles and tear filled words exchanged before her wife's breathing became heavy. The emotional stress took its toll and Winter watched as the EKG became erratic- not a heart attack, not yet, but not exactly better as it lost its rhythm once or twice and her breath became suddenly short.

"Ma'am," the doctor said, a softness in his tone. "It's time." Winter nodded and leaned close again, kissing Yang's cheek. "I love you."

Her wife offered a weak smile but her breathing wasn't improving. Lilac eyes eventually shifted to their children. "You guys... don't need to... see this..." she paused, trying to muster her strength "I love you... all so much..."

"We love you too, Momma," they replied- all five of them, because she and Yang had always accepted Taylor and Verdel as their children, too- and shuffled out with some reluctance, throwing one last glance towards the bed.

"Ma'am." A nurse touched her shoulder. "You may want to step out as well."

Winter drew herself to her full height, tilted her chin up, and proudly responded. "I said 'until death do us part' and I meant it." She looked at her wife, who's eyes still shone with love after all these years. "I'm not leaving you."

To some extent, she felt this was the way things should be, for all the times she left Yang and her family behind to go into a warzone, it should be her being left behind at the end. She tried telling herself it was only fair. Yang let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be," she said, offering a small smile. "Just be there waiting when for me."

"Don't... rush."

Her wife's eyes fell closed as the EKG's reading began deviate wildly, and Winter looked at the doctor pleadingly. When the doctor reached over and adjusted a hanging bag, Yang's expression smoothed out... but the EKG became worse. Winter stood at her bedside and waited, a sentry watching her beloved pass from this world into the next, and when the line became flat and the doctor read out the early morning hour, Winter instinctively reached out and grabbed Yang's hand before they drew the sheet over her.

It was when she felt no squeeze, felt nothing at all, that it hit her, completely winded her- that she'd just lost her best friend and partner for over fifty years.

Yang was gone.

In that moment, she shattered. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she became aware that her children were around her, holding her up where her own legs couldn't as she cried, no words to accompany the anguish. Because in her mind- her heart and soul- all she could see was the snapshots of her life, and the smiling face of her wife accompanying so many of them- and scowling and sad and every emotion known to exist because they'd been together through so much...

And that part of her life had come to an end.

Eventually, she turned unseeing eyes to the heavens, and she silently promised that she would make Yang proud. If she had even half the strength and composure of her beloved, she would be able to pick herself up and devote her remaining years to their family, just like all those lonely nights when Yang had held down the home front for her.

But when she eventually returned to their house alone- though Zise accompanied her, and some part of her knew their kids wouldn't leave her to be entirely alone for a while- and climbed into their bed alone, only then did she realize how daunting a task it was, and in that moment she worried she didn't truly cherish her wife.

"Goodnight, my strong Sundrop," she said to the empty room. "I love you... and I already miss you so much."

Part XXIII

The house was dead silent, a cool night in late fall, disturbed only by the ringing of a scroll. Groggily, Zephyr reached out and grabbed it, answering in a slurred tone. But the moment she heard the other voice on the line, she snapped awake.

"Yes, speaking."

"Ma'am, we're calling regarding your mother-"

"Which hospital?" Perhaps it sounded callous to the uninitiated but Zephyr was old enough to understand that some things eventually happened. And, honestly, five years had passed since Momma did; every day, she woke up thinking it would be the one. Beside her, Verdel sat up and began attaching his prosthetic, having woken up initially with the call and then spurred into action by her words.

"Mercy West General-"

"On First and Central." She nodded at her husband, gathering her courage for the next question. "Is she..."

Some part of her refused to finish it.

"She's stable, but her kidneys are failing." The nurse paused. "She'll need long term care but she'll be alright."

No, she won't.

"Get the kids," she said, and Verdel quickly got out of bed and headed for the door. "We'll be there soon."

As she hung up, she did her best to muster the nerve to call her sister and brother. She could've asked the hospital to do it but, honestly, she'd rather it be her than some stranger. When she lifted the scroll to her ear, she desperately tried to arrange the words in her head, but- as usual- her sister seemed to click onto it immediately.

"Is she stable?" No greeting of any sort; only one thing could prompt a call this early in the morning.

"Yes, but she's going into renal failure." She paused. "At her age, it means long term care at a facility."

"Which actually means... right." The shuffling of fabric proceeded a quick word to her partner. "Which hospital?"

"Same as always." Ironic, that so many good and bad memories were contained in one building.

"We'll be there soon. Want me to call Zach?"

"I will."

"Sis..."

She smiled, small and sad. "It's okay, Zizi. I'll handle it."

A sigh came across the line. "Okay. Love ya, sis. I'll see you there."

"Love you, too." Talking to her brother seemed at once easier and so much harder.

"Hello?" He sounded like he'd been dead asleep after yet another long shift.

"Hey, Zach."

"Zephie?" He paused, and she could practically hear the shift in his expression. "Is she-"

"She's stable... for now." Zephyr sighed. "It'll be long term care at this point."

"Mom will never go to a home." It partly came down to pride but they all knew the majority of the issue stemmed from leaving the house. It held all the memories of Momma, to the point she stubbornly kept climbing the stairs rather than moving into a room on the first floor. Mom clung onto those memories with all the strength she had in her; she would never let them go. "So... this is it, huh?"

"Yeah," she replied in a small voice. "This is it."

He sighed. "I'll get Xavier. We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Good. See you there, little brother."

"Yeah... same place as always?"

"Yes."

"Alright, we'll head that way. Love you."

"Love you, too."

After hanging up, she got ready herself, trying to divorce the doctor side of her brain from the daughter side. As a medical professional, she felt compelled to try and convince Mom to get the treatment she needed... but the part of her that was raised by the woman's own hands knew that it was asking too much. Mom had done so much just to be there these past five years, for her and her siblings and all their children, but in her eyes, they could all see her will dimming. More than once, she remarked on how strong Momma was, to effectively raise them on her own while Mom was away. Zephyr remembered those days even after all these years, hoping against hope Mom would come back so Momma wasn't stressed, wasn't sad. As an adult, she looked back and realized Momma didn't handle the separation nearly as well as she pretended to, but Mom only saw her strength. In the end, they were both strong, but at their strongest when together, and life never stopped throwing punches. Eventually, a person breaks. Momma did, and now Mom...

"Mom?" She blinked, snapped out of her thoughts by her daughter's voice. "Dad says the car's ready."

Wisteria looked scared but tried putting on a brave face. Like her mother and grandma before her, she understood that trying to be strong would help others, and Zephyr nodded.

"It's going to be alright, Terry." The nickname- given by Mom- had stuck, though they'd only ever heard stories about the person who bore it before. "Come along."

"Mom..." Wisteria paused. "Is Grandmom..."

She considered lying for all of two seconds. But her parents did their level best to tell the truth, and she wouldn't betray that now. "We're going to say goodbye."

Tears immediately came to her daughter's eyes and she crossed the room to pull her into a hug. Frankly, this was one of those rare times when she couldn't sympathize with her own children; growing up, she'd only ever known Grandpa Tai, so while she knew the pain of losing a grandparent, she only knew it so far as losing one. Not two.

"You can cry, Sweetheart. It's okay."

"Is this why Grandmom didn't say if she'd come to my graduation?" They'd had the conversation hardly a month ago, and Mom hadn't been very forthright on her answer.

"Grandmom keeps her promises, Terry." She frowned. "But she knows there are some she can't keep. And she misses Grandma terribly."

Wisteria nodded solemnly. "Me too."

"We all do." She guided her daughter towards the door. "I know it's difficult, but she's fought so hard to get this far. Let's go tell her we love her, one more time."

Zephyr mentally frowned at her own words choice. She didn't want to say 'last'... but there wasn't a better way to put it, really. Yet, she avoided it anyway. As they headed towards the car, she braced herself for a very long night.

Part XIV

Zise ushered her kids into the hospital room, her partner not far behind. Some part of her dreaded this day coming but, now that it was here, she felt a certain amount of peace. It hurt, seeing Mom- always so proud and head strong- hooked up to so many machines, looking so frail, but they could only postpone the inevitable for so long. No one outran the final moments of their lives. Yet, at the very least, those moments wouldn't be alone for their Mom, who tried so hard to be there for them growing up.

"What did the docs say?" She spoke quietly while Yvonne, Yvette, and Yelena went over to their Grandmom's bedside, the woman aware enough of her surroundings to smile at them as she had for Wisteria and Walter, though it was a weak expression at best.

"She's going into multiple organ failure," her sister said, the clinical time hiding the pain in her eyes. "They were trying to put her on life support."

"She signed the paper already?" Zephyr nodded. "And... you?"

She didn't envy the task set before her eldest sibling nor did she miss the stuttered breath that left her chest.

"Yes."

Ever since her eightieth birthday, Mom's health had started to decline. She spoke less with each passing year, looked to the sky more even though it hurt her neck. That she'd made it these last three years... Momma would be proud of her, she thought, and of Zephie as she pulled her sister into a hug.

"You know it's for the best," she said, feeling the shake in her sister's shoulders and seeing the tears in her brother-in-law's eyes.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," Zephyr replied, sounding so much like their Mom then they couldn't help but laugh. Then the door opened and Zach stepped in, Xavier just a few steps behind.

"Sorry we're late." The young man immediately joined his cousins, while their brother stepped up and wrapped both of his sisters up in a hug. "This is really it, huh?" They nodded, watching as their little brother's expression pinched together. "There's... nothing we can do?"

"Zach... look at her," Zise said, glancing back at the bed, where their Mom did her best to smile for her grandkids, but spoke not a word. "She's ready."

"Yeah... but I'm not." Zach sniffled.

Zephyr empathized. "None of us are... we haven't been and we won't be, even if she had another twenty years. We weren't ready for Momma to go, either."

Her heart ached for the truth in the words. They really weren't ready, but no one ever is. At least they could take comfort in each other, like before. Something changed in her readings, prompting Taylor to step forward.

"Okay, kids, say goodbye to Grandmom. Then, Wisteria's going to take you all down to the gift shop." They looked back at Zise for a moment. "I'll be right there. Okay?"

The five kids, ranging from young adults to teenagers, nodded, each offering a final goodbye to their Grandmom and a careful hug around thin shoulders. Just before they shuffled out of the room, their Grandmom gathered her strength and uttered the one phrase she offered freely, even when she would say nothing else.

"Love you... too..."

Zise's heart ached for the scratchiness in her voice, how soft the words were, the stern voice she remembered from her childhood effectively gone.

The kids smiled and waved goodbye before the door closed and Taylor stepped forward, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

"I'll go keep an eye on them." They gave her hand a little squeeze. "Thanks, Mom, for everything. I promise, I'll keep an eye on Zizi and Zach for you." They looked over at Verdel with a little smile. "But you're on your own."

They all laughed a little as Verdel stepped up, using his prosthetic to hold Mom's hand, and it was bittersweet, because it always reminded Mom of Momma.

"I'll watch Zephyr, and all your grandkids. I already miss you, Mom."

He meant well, but sometimes her brother-in-law didn't word things the best, and as he joined Taylor in going to watch the kids, Zise could see the bit of guilt flashing in her Mom’s eyes. She didn't doubt the woman could pull herself back from the brink of death through sheer force of will, but... that wouldn't be fair. It would be selfish, but not fair. She looked at her siblings, both caught between comforting their Mom and begging her to stay, and realized it fell to her. So she stepped up and sat down on her Mom's bedside, took one hand in hers, and mustered her strength. She knew Mom always felt like she hadn't been there at times and that guilt was kept at bay by Momma but never extinguished.

Truthfully, there wasn't a day that went by where Mom wasn't there with her, a voice in the back of her mind calling for her to do the right thing, to be strong, to be resilient. And she was her Mom's daughter... but also her Momma's.

"Hey, Mom," she said with a soft smile. "Tell Momma 'hi' for us. And that we love you both."

Tears fell from her eyes when she saw the gratitude in her Mom's expression. Zephyr and Zach stepped up, too, the former resting a hand on Mom's shoulder and the latter taking her other hand. They'd waited out in the hall when Momma passed, rushing in at the alarmed look on the doctor's face when Mom broke down, but they wouldn't let her pass without knowing she was loved. When the doctor and nurses came in to adjust her medication, Zephyr told them. With some quiet words, the bags were swapped out, and their Mom closed her eyes one final time, surrounded by her children.

With her final breath, Zise came to the realization that here, with almost fully grown children of her own, only now did her childhood truly come to an end, and she pulled her siblings closer together and wept.

Part XV

Zach stared down at the coffin they'd lowered down into the ground, various flowers and a few handfuls of dirt thrown in atop it. A few feet away, grass covered Momma's own coffin, their joined headstone now complete with Mom's dates freshly carved into the yellowed marble. His sisters and their families stood around, each processing in their own time, while Xavier stood beside him, quietly crying. Off to the side stood Aunt Blake and Aunt Weiss, the former holding her wife while the latter shook and cried, clinging to her jacket, their own children and grandchildren and even a great grandchild swaddled in blankets surrounding them. Auntie Ruby and Uncle Sun stood a bit back with their own family, having attended out of respect but still not entirely unmoved by the service, because they'd come to see Mom as a sister just as much as Momma.

Zephyr, Zise, and Zach had cried all their tears already and somehow summoned the courage to remain strong for their families, maintaining their composure throughout the service. Despite the chill of early winter, the sun shone brightly overhead, and it made his black tux a little uncomfortable.

"You look great, Son."

"Like an absolute gentleman."

"I do clean up pretty good, huh?" He spoke softly, recalling the response he'd given the night of his high school prom. "I love you, Mom. Momma." A hand slipped into his, his son scrubbing at his face with his other hand. "Ready to go, buddy?"

"Yeah."

He nodded."Alright." Zach turned towards his siblings. "We're going to head down to the diner. We'll see you there?"

It was a small, kinda cramped Mistrali place down off Seventh, but Mom and Momma loved it; no other place would do as a rallying point for their family in the wake of Mom's passing.

After receiving a chorus of affirmative responses, he turned away and guided his son towards the car. They got about halfway through the headstones before Xavier came to a stop.

"Dad?" His face pinched together. "Why do people die?"

Zach smiled; he'd prepared for this question. "I'm going to tell you a secret, Xav. Your Grandmom told your Aunt Zephie, and your Aunt Zizi, and me. Now, I'm going to tell you." He squeezed his son's shoulder. "As you go through life, you'll come to realize that love is never easy. It hasn't been for anyone. It'll keep you up at night- just like being angry, or sad, or anxious. You'll lose a lot of sleep as you get older because of it. But if you do it right, the sleep you lose, you'll get back at the end, surrounded by the people you love. That's where Grandma is, and where Grandmom went to join her. Grandma went to see your Great Grandpa Tai, and Grandmom followed her in time." He paused. "And, one day, I'll go, too, just like your Aunts, and we'll be with our parents."

Xavier's eyes widened. "Dad... you-"

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere yet." He chuckled. "But I won't be here forever." Then he pulled his son into a hug. "That's why I tell you every day I love you. So that, when I'm gone, you'll know just how much love is waiting for you at the end, just like I do." He drew back to look his son in the eyes. "Love freely, and never miss an opportunity to tell someone you care. There's not enough love in this world to miss out on that."

Xavier seemed to mull over his words before nodding. "That's why Grandma always stayed up to read us bedtime stories, and Grandmom woke up early with us on Christmas morning."

"Yup." Zach looked back at where the rest of their family stood, congregated around the gravesite. "And now, they get all that sleep back. And they're happy." Tears fell from his eyes. "If I'm half the parent they were, you'll be at peace when I go. It'll hurt, because loving someone and losing them is never easy, but if you spend every day loving and caring for those closest to you, you'll be able to sleep easy when the time comes."

He was nearly bowled over as Xavier launched into a hug, staggering him. "You're the best, Dad," he said, squeezing tight. "Grandma and Grandmom are proud, 'cause I am. I know that."

Zach smiled and hugged his son tight. "I had good teachers."

"I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Xav." He said. "Now, come on. Let's go get lunch with everyone." As they climbed into the car, something occurred to the young man.

"Hey, Dad, we should invite everyone over to our house and watch a movie tonight. Ya know, like we did when I was little?"

"I'm not sure if we'll all fit," he replied, thinking on it. "But your Aunt Zizi might have enough room." As he drove out of the cemetery, he noticed Xavier staring out the window. "Something on your mind, champ?"

"Grandma and Grandmom are sleeping on the hill now," he said, nodding towards a green hill just beyond the cemetery's fence. "They look happy."

Zach didn't know what to make of it; sometimes, Xavier said some odd things. Mom and Momma always said it's the sign of a creative mind and he was probably just trying to construct a happy ending for his grandparents to give himself hope.

"Yeah. They are." He nodded. "And even though we miss them so much, we can be happy, too. I mean, when was the last time you got to see all your cousins?"

As the car continued to pull away, and the rest of the family slowly made their way to vehicles of their own, they were watched by the very spirits of those they mourned. No words were needed as Yang- looking and feeling like she was a late twenty-something, with both her arms though the right has a strange glowing quality to it she'd yet to figure out- laid back down beside her wife, happy and content as Winter wrapped her up in her arms and they basked beneath the rays of a sun they couldn't feel, but warmed by their love all the same.

Author’s Note: If anyone’s curious, this whole thing came about because I was thinking about all the different reasons a person “loses sleep” and the somewhat morbid saying of “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. I thought up Zach’s lines and decided that I could both explore the various reasons and ways a person loses sleep over the course of their life and what it really means to get it all back at the end.

#Elderburn #Losing Sleep AU #TRR writes

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