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jtl-fics · 11 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 18

Weirdly enough the only thing that FF can think of as they head down the stairs is the first Saw movie.

That one happened IN a bathroom right? He kind of watched all of them in a row to prepare himself for whatever Andrew might decide to do to him. But he’s near positive that one happened in a bathroom. It was derelict and he didn’t think it really had running water (or did it? Didn’t the guy wake up in a half-full tub? His memory is hazy in his bathroom related desperation and may be trying to protect him from thinking about water).

All leading to the main thought going through his head as he slowly headed down the narrow stairway to his death.

Would Andrew let him use the facilities before he’s handcuffed to a pipe?

The worst part about all of this is that he is not sure if he needs to take a dump or if he just needs to fart, he knows he has to take a piss. He’s read that when you die your body will relax and it’ll all just flow out of you and Nicky gave him these pants so he feels bad but he also does not want to face his death without pants. If he needs to take a shit then they’re definitely going to be absolutely ruined, if it’s a fart well…Andrew can’t kill him any further? He can mutilate his corpse a little but FF won’t be around to experience it.

No matter what he’s definitely going to piss himself. He had way too much water at Sweeties trying to consume the spicy ice cream.

You may be wondering why FF has not run away from his predicament and is walking down these steps without protest or comment or plea for his life.

First of all he is pretty sure that if he makes any sudden movements he will ruin these pants that Nicky bought for him. Second of all Andrew had already told him once that he wouldn’t accept any pleading for mercy he still remembers how he asked Andrew, “Please give me back my pen?” and Andrew had shot him a look that had his stomach cramp and his fingers itch for the bottle sweet pink relief in his backpack.

“I don’t like that word, don’t use it around me.” He said.

FF ever the pragmatic sort, “Which one?” He had asked because he had said a few, “I don’t want there to be a misunderstanding.” He followed up with when Andrew glowered at him only for the glare’s intensity to increase 10 fold.

“Don’t use the first word of your first statement or the last word of your second.” Andrew grit out and got up to leave without a word.

Message received loud and clear Andrew did NOT like words ‘Please’ or ‘Misunderstanding’.

So FF knows that any pleading for mercy would ABSOLUTELY result in Andrew not letting him take a bathroom break before him and Captain Neil make destroying him into a couple activity. The fact that Captain Neil is here is a bit of a shock but maybe Captain Neil has finally gotten the other Freshman Dealer up to snuff.

Maybe Kevin really did want to dissect him to figure out how Strikers keep passing straight to him?

They reach the door at the bottom of the stairs.

Ah, time to face the music.

At least he’d texted Gran that he was going to die when they had gotten into the club and the bathroom had not made itself readily apparent. Sure it was about his current ‘gotta piss / gotta shit’ situation but he’d been wise to keep his cause of death vague in that text.

The door opens and…

This is the NICEST torture chamber FF has EVER seen. (And after his desperation watch of all the Saw movies he has seen quite a FEW)

“Minyard, Josten, and Guest. Table 6 is yours.” A voice comes from the side and when he looks over there’s a man in quite a nice uniform standing behind a soft-lit bar polishing a glass looking every bit like a bar tender at those high-end places you see in movies. He looks around a bit more and there are some other people down here. It’s not quiet per se but it is a comfortable level of noise in comparison to the IQ dropping noise upstairs.

“C’mon Smith.” Andrew juts his chin towards a table in the back.

FF follows but continues to try and fit this nice little room into his world view.

Do these people watch other people get tortured to death for fun on a Friday night? Unlikely considering the upholstery on the booths and chairs looked like it’d stain if blood got on it. Was this perhaps a trafficking location where Andrew would sell off his organs to the highest bidder? He looked at the other patrons who seemed a bit higher class than the general club scene upstairs but not like they had the money to buy one of his kidneys. Maybe-

“Do not tell Nicky about this place, ever.” Andrew says as they slide into the booth. FF nods but can’t help but tilt his head slightly in an unspoken question, “He would absolutely tell any and everyone about it. Eden’s wants to keep this place a secret from the general public.” Andrew explains.

“Nicky currently thinks that there’s a straight swingers club down here.” Captain Neil says with a huff of laughter.

“Eden’s is cool, even though there’s some sick shit in the basement.” Floats through his head again.

What the fuck was a swinger?

His fingers itch for his phone but he’s currently talking with Andrew and Captain Neil so that’d be rude but they’re talking to him like he absolutely knows what a swinger is and he DOES NOT.

“It’s quieter down here. Figured you’d prefer it.” Andrew says as he gets up and heads towards the bar down here where the bartender was aggressively cutting ice chunks.

He and Captain Neil sit in silence for a few seconds before Captain Neil offers him a slight smile, “I know you’d rather be with your grandma and you and Andrew prefer not to say things out loud but we’ve really liked hanging out with you.” Captain Neil says.

????????????????????????????????????????????????

That’s such a nice thing to say to someone.

Especially someone like FF.

Especially especially when they’re planning on killing him?

He hopes his confusion stays off his face as he nods once. “It’s been fun.” It’s not even really a lie. Thanksgiving yesterday had been nice and loud and FF had missed the chaos of a Family Dinner more than he had ever realized. The car ride had been…a time but once he’d asked Andrew to either keep his eyes on the road or let him out Andrew’s hands had stayed at 10 and 2 and the ride had been smooth. Aaron and Nicky’s weight against him had been nice too, a warm memory before he developed a possible life long aversion to whipped cream. He’d gotten to go Black Friday shopping and Captain Neil even helped carry it home for him. Baking bad been nice even if the stress of doing it with his life on the line was less so. The subsequent nap and day spent doing normal college guy things had been…it’d all been nice.

It’s starting to feel like….

“Drink this.” Andrew puts a drink down in front of him.

No Andrew definitely wants his bladder to burst.

“What is it?” He asks instead looking at the creamy looking drink with suspicion.

Andrew rolls his eyes as he hands Neil a fruity looking drink as he sits with what is a few fingers of scotch. “It’s virgin.” Andrew says not answering the question at all and must pick up that FF won’t be drinking it until he gets the full answer because he continues after a moment, “It’s like a Pina Colada but with bananas instead.” Andrew answers.

It’s not that FF hates banana but why in the world would Andrew grab him this? Was it just one of the few virgins options on this place’s fancy menu or-

“Bananas will help get your stomach acid back down.” Andrew says, “Since you’re an idiot and ate that mango ice cream just because you wanted to impress that girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Impress that girl?” There weren’t any girls at the table and how in the world would him eating that god-forsaken spicy ice cream impress anyone other than Betsy. Even Betsy would only be impressed by the depths he was willing to reach just to avoid what he perceives as an awkward social situation.

“The waitress.” Neil reminds him as if that cleared anything up.

“Yeah,” he says as if he has understood the conversation but he has not. “It was spicy mango.” He says because maybe if he keeps the conversation going he’ll get enough context clues to understand what might be his last conversation.

Andrew let out a huff of laughter and pushed FF’s drink closer to him, “Drink your fancy Banana smoothie Casanova.” He says.

No closer to understanding the conversation he accepts that it might be something that only becomes clear after he sheds his mortal coil and is no longer given a -10 INT debuff by his full bladder and revolting stomach.

He takes a sip.

Oh that’s actually pretty good.

It feels like he can feel it sizzling in his stomach and soothing the discomfort there. Maybe he should look into Banana smoothies as a replacement for what Abby has called a ‘concerning co-dependence’ in regards to Pepto Bismol. No one can put him on a medical watch if it’s just banana smoothies he’s chugging down like they’re going out of style.

“Thanks,” he says, “that was good.” He admits before reaching into his jacket and moving past the Megamind toy and grabbing his wallet. “What do I owe you for that?” He asks.

“We’re even.” Andrew waves away the money.

“You bought the stuff for breakfast, those brownies, and the pie tomorrow.” Neil says and FF blinks surprised to hear that they were talking about the pie he didn’t think he was going to get the chance to make.

“You don’t need to buy a spot with us.” Andrew says and FF leans back slightly at the intensity on Andrew’s face as he says it. “I invited you here because I wanted to. The brownies were good but if you don’t feel like making the pie tomorrow? It’s not like I’m going to drive you back to Palmetto and leave you on Abby’s doorstep.” He says.

FF feels gears start to turn in his head.

“It’s good pie.” He hears himself say.

“I didn’t even know about the pie when I invited you.” Andrew says and…

Andrew and FF sit in silence but honestly it’s not like Andrew’s sharpening his knives. The two of them mostly just do their own work or read. FF has been getting his German literacy up to snuff so that he can read the language when he goes there to visit Nicky’s fiance next year. He likes how serious Andrew is about learning it so that he doesn’t have to ask Captain Neil a thousand questions and it’d be nice if Andrew wasn’t obviously planning on murdering him.

Andrew brings dried apples and sends Captain Neil along with probiotic yogurts to their meetings. Both of those things tend to soothe his stomach and the yogurt that had been unflavored before was now vanilla which he liked a fair bit. It would have been a really nice gesture if it wasn’t for the fact that Andrew was making fun of his tummy troubles.

Andrew will put his foot down in practice sometimes when Kevin is getting too demanding wanting to know exactly how FF intercepted his passes to Neil. Kevin always backs off and Andrew will do the same when Jack starts to get a little too personal in his attacks at FF or when Sheena decides she’s going to be a bitch. It’d be nice if it wasn’t Andrew staking his claim that he was the one who was going to make FF’s life miserable.

Andrew drove FF around for an hour after Greg had shown up. He found out later from one of his friends that Andrew had threatened Greg after he had power walked away into the building. Andrew had driven him around and had only started heading towards the tower when FF had relaxed. It would have been nice if Andrew wasn’t trying to lure him into a false sense of security.

Andrew had invited him to his Family’s house over Thanksgiving when the bad storm had ruined his Thanksgiving plans. Andrew had threatened Jack to stop him from eating his Grandma’s pie and complaining about it. Andrew had stopped messing around with Captain Neil when FF had made it clear he was uncomfortable being in a car where the driver wasn’t paying attention to the road. Andrew had twice made him go to bed in the last couple hours.

It’d be nice if…

“We’ve really liked hanging out with you” Captain Neil had said.

Andrew was just trying to be nice.

Embarrassment rolls over him like a wave but FF has many years of pretending like he’s not going to die from embarrassment, “Thanks for inviting me. I’ll still probably make the pie tomorrow.” He offers.

Andrew’s eyes change slightly and FF is under the impression that he’s happy to hear that.

“Just enjoy your drink Smith.” Andrew says.

FF does go back to sipping his drink and letting more and more memories of things Andrew had done come to him and lets his embarrassment grow.

He finishes his drink and only then realizes that he is a code red in terms of bladder capacity. The new knowledge that this is not a torture chamber but in fact yet another overture of friendship from Andrew paired with his desperation finally loosens the question from his mouth, “Where’s the bathroom here?” He asks.

“There isn’t one downstairs but just head up stairs and hug the wall to the left.” Captain Neil answers.

“Bring your phone. If Frank doesn’t recognize you to let you back in.” Andrew reminds him.

FF nods and heads out of the club and up the stairs.

He might be doing a bit of a potty dance so he forces himself to become unnoticeable because he does not need cool people at a cool club to see him about to piss himself. Once he enters into a stealth mode that the United States Military would like to talk to him about he hugs the wall and nearly cries tears of relief when he sees a door labelled MEN.

He doesn’t think about the possibility of letting up on stealth mode because he is sure that he is about to make a face that he does NOT want any human being to see when he unzips his pants and starts to take the world’s most life-affirming piss on the planet.

As his bladder empties his brain is able to process the understanding that he had come to down in the basement he had thought would be his final resting place.

Andrew has been trying to be nice (and succeeding it was all so nice! He feels like an asshole! He is an asshole! Gran always told him that assuming makes an Ass out of U and Me. He had just thought it was funny grandma humor not valuable life advice!)

The night wasn’t going to end with Andrew’s knife in his stomach, it was probably just going to end with Nicky puking on his shoes (which is fine because these are the shoes Nicky was letting him borrow for the club anyways, they’re his shoes to puke onto.)

A secondary relief fills his system. His stomach, soothed by the Banana smoothie and now this, feels like it might actually let him live through the night.

While FF was distracted with a piss that would have made any number of cult leaders jealous with the number of divine revelations he was experiencing he failed to notice a second man enter the bathroom.

There was a reason that FF always ALWAYS became noticeable when he was at a urinal and the man who came to the urinal right next to him was showcasing that VERY reason.

He was trapped here for at least ten more seconds and he could hear the man grumbling distractedly but didn’t really pay it too much attention until…

“Fucking Wesninski Brat.” He grumbled under his breath.

Oh god dammit.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear

#Fluent Freshman AU #FINALLY CAN PUT DOWN MY TAGS #You have no idea the number of times that I had to sing hollaback girl to myself during this #It was B-A-N-A-N-A-S #We have now closed the 'Andrew is going to crazy murder me' emotional arc #The 'Oh god if Andrew or Neil find out that I know Russian they're going to stop being my friends and hate me' arc begins #He's gotten a confirmed 3 friends today #And he got to go to the bathroom #He's riding a high #Not only is it 3 friends it is 3 friends who like him enough to invite him to spend the holiday break together #That's so nice #Andrew is so nice #FF cannot BELIEVE he thought Andrew 'eat these dried apples' Minyard was going to stab him #Captain Neil is lucky to have him #Also Andrew is lucky to have Captain Neil #Neil and Andrew are definitely down in the Speakeasy right now enjoying FF's bathroom break #Andrew's ordered FF another round of Banana daiquiri #Andrew: I can't believe he ate that ice cream. His stomach must have been killing him.#Neil: Yeah he was really pale and sweaty until he started drinking that banana drink #Neil: I'm a little worried about Smith finding the bathroom. Maybe I should go up?#Andrew hand on Neil's thigh: he'll be fine. We can go look if he's not back in 10.#AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG #AFTG Shitpost #AFTG Fic #My Fic #Andreil #FF - Pt.18

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mortiferumsomnum · 2 years

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Danny Meets The Batfam

A continuation of this post where Clockwork is in love with Alfred <3

Edit: MASTERLIST

*******

Danny is 15 years old. He’s half-human, half-ghost, going through human puberty and ghost infantry at the same time. He’s also Clockwork’s emotionally adopted son, and the Ghost Zone’s beloved Ghost King.

But, with Clockwork flirting with Alfred, and Clockwork’s first meeting with the Wayne family being successful, it’s becoming very possible that he’s going to become the uncle of the famed Batkids and the stepbrother of THE Bruce Wayne AKA BATMAN HIMSELF. Clockwork DID make that suggestion out loud in retribution to his invisible moral support.

Motherfucker. Or, like, Butlerfucker.

But, you know: Experience, Adapt, and Repress the fuck out of it!

EAR for short.

Clockwork would disagree.

But fuck Clockwork. He disagrees with everything Danny does that might make everyone live in the wrong timeline.

Is it Danny’s fault that nature nurtures man? No. No, it isn’t!

Where was Danny going with this again?

Ah, right. Danny’s going to be an uncle now. And Bruce Wayne’s step brother. Well, emotional uncle and stepbrother.

No pressure....

Except, yeS PRESSURE.

His only experience in being a responsible figure is Dani, but Dani is so low maintenance, he doesn’t need to help her much except be her support. He’s not taking on responsibilities as Ghost King yet either because Clockwork managed to put together a council that would overlook the Ghost Zone while waiting for Danny to come of age.

Danny’s... he’s always been the baby, honestly. He’s been the baby brother. He’s been the baby in his group of friends (people would disagree, but this is what Danny feels. Sam and Tucker would have a friendship-divorce if he weren’t there. And who will Danny end up with if they have a friendship divorce?)

So, Danny goes to the number one person he knows would help him in being a responsible figure in his life: his sister, Jazz.

“Danny, you’re a kid. A 15 years old kid that’s living a normal life, at least from what they know,” she said, soothingly. They were both in her room, with Jazz painting his nails a pretty dark blue color, which would later be decorated with some really cool stars polish that Jazz found in the cosmetics store. “No one is going to expect you to be a responsible adult while you’re there to meet them.”

“I don’t think Clockwork told them my age,” he said. “And, even if Alfred met me, I bet he’s too in love to even think of telling them about me! I gotta prepare Jazz!”

Jazz moved on to the next hand. “Trust me, Danny,” she said, “if they’re the cool heroes they are, it really won’t matter if you can’t give them anything, or even have anything to impress them with. They’d just want you to be a kid. One they assume is living a normal life. Clockwork and Alfred are keeping quiet about the ghost thing, remember? So, they won’t even have the drama that comes with ghosts.”

Jazz was right.

And Danny sighs. “You’re right,” he said. “Maybe I’m just overthinking this.”

Jazz smiles. “It’s okay to think about this,” she said. “Clockwork has been very involved with your life, that you’re also becoming involved with his. He’s been the caring dad you’ve never had. Wanting to have a good impression on the family he’ll be committed to is normal.”

Once Jazz was finished with all his fingers, she went to shake the stars polish and open it.

Then, she went back to painting his nails.

“But if you really want to be on their good side, just be yourself, Danny,” she said. “Your naughty, space-loving self. Before you know it, you’ll all be getting along and dissing Clockwork like a good family together.”

Danny smiled. “Thanks Jazz,” he said.

Jazz kissed his cheek and hugged his head close to her chest. “No problem, Danny.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Danny painting Jazz’s nails in return.

*****

Currently, Danny was at Clockwork’s side, who was in his Horatio Clockwork form. He was holding a box of cake that he and Jazz picked together from the bakery - rectangular with a decoration of a clock with Alfred’s mustache in the middle.

He was nervous. But he was also excited. Jazz told him to be himself. So, himself he will be!

And so, they ring the doorbell at the gate.

There was a small beep after they rang. Then, some grunts and shouts were heard from the other side of the line.

“--Eat shit, Replacement---”

“--You imbeciles! Get off---”

“--Guys! Stop-- Oh, shit! Damian, NO!--”

“--Ugh! My inexistent spleen!--”

“--Hello, Bruce Wayne Speaking.”

Danny was smiling in amusement. He looked up to Clockwork, who also had an amused smile.

“Hello, Bruce,” greeted Clockwork.

“Hello, Cockwork,” Bruce said, with the most contemptuous tone Danny’s ever heard.

And... did he just call Clockwork ‘cockwork’?! HOLY SHIT. He loves his future emotional stepbrother already!

“Move aside, old man!” a voice that sounds like Jason said. “Hey, Horace! Lemme open the gate for you to get in!”

“Just don’t walk on the grass!” Tim’s voice said. “Alfred just watered them, and he’ll get pissed if someone walks on it!!”

That’s what they said, thought Danny. But both Danny and Clockwork knew the truth, there’s some serious security system at work targeted on the grass, and Bruce most likely doesn’t want to turn them off.

“We’ll keep that in mind,” said Clockwork, amusedly.

“We?” Dick’s voice asked.

But both knew that there are security cameras that the whole family could look from.

“Yes, ‘we’,” said Clockwork. “I brought Danny with me, today.”

By then, the gate opened... slowly... very slowly...

“GODDAMMIT, B! JUST OPEN THE FUCKING GATE!!” Jason screamed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Bruce, coolly. “We’ve been having some problems with it these past few days. The technician we called has also been very busy. We didn’t want to make ourselves a priority when other people needs their services more.”

“Understandable,” said Clockwork, just as cool. “Alfred did say that his son had a big heart, which shows very much.”

Danny made a quiet snort.

“Danny and I have no problem waiting out here. Luckily, I advised Danny to bring an umbrella and to wear an extra jacket in case the famous Gotham weather decides to pour on us. Danny gets cold very easily, you see.”

The gate opened faster.

Danny gave Clockwork the stink-eye.

“FUCKING FINALLY!” Jason said. “Come on inside, Horace! Danny! Al’s just getting ready!!”

Without another word, both Clockwork and Danny entered the Wayne estate.

*****

The beauty of Wayne manor feels different when you’re walking on two feet and not flying in the air. It felt more haunting when you’re not the ghost haunting it.

Once Clockwork and he finished climbing the steps, the door opened, revealing the youngest of the Wayne brothers: Damian Wayne.

He scanned Clockwork up and down, before giving a nod towards Danny. “Good day,” he said, straightening his posture and folding his hands behind his back, like what Alfred would do, amusingly. “I am Damian Wayne. Welcome to the Wayne Manor, Daniel Fenton.”

He’s... he’s so cute trying to be all formal and polite like that. Danny wanted to hug this kid and show him all the goodness in the world. Maybe even let him meet Cujo.

For now, Danny needs to start light. So, he raises the cake box. “I brought cake,” he said. “My sister and I bought it. It’s vegetarian AND it’s strawberry flavored.”

The young Damian nodded his head again, as if in approval. “Thank you, Daniel,” he said, reaching out to take the box. “I’ll have Timothy bring this to the kitchen so it may be kept in the fridge.”

“Don’t decide things for me, brat!” someone, Tim, shouted from the back.

Danny smiled at Damian. “Thanks,” he said. “And call me Danny. Daniel is what rich, old people who wants to marry my mom call me.”

Damian raised a brow.

“Well, since I do not want to marry your mother, I suppose I shall call you Danny.”

“Oh my god, is THAT what it takes to have the Demon Brat to call you so casually?”

“Awwww, are you jealous, Tim-o-thy???”

“One day, Damian will be calling me Dick, and I will be the happiest man alive.”

“Tt,” snapped Damian, who was glaring behind him. “Imbeciles, the lot of them.”

Then, he turned back to them. “Well then, Danny,” and a glare to the person beside him, “Clockwork. Do come inside.”

The doors opened wider, and Danny had gotten a human-eyed view of the Wayne Entryway. Marbled floor waxed and polished beautifully, a staircase that leads to the upper floors of the manor, a bunch of unsuspecting chandeliers just waiting to be swung on... And then, there’s the family. Five brothers, a sister and a father scanning Clockwork up and down. The tallest of the brothers, Jason, had a genuinely wide grin, walking up to clockwork with open arms.

The rest of the brothers were weirded out by Jason’s behavior.

Danny knew it was because this is usually the eldest’s, Dick’s, behavior. But, he could see the sharp glint in the young man’s eyes. Although he seemed the most welcoming, he is also the most suspicious. Not only because of Clockworks’ “intentions” with their favorite butler, but because Jason could sense the Ectoplasm off of him.

He could most probably sense Danny as well.

Clockwork and Danny had talked about this once. It has something to do with the Lazarus Pits. But Clockwork cannot simply remove the Lazarus’ influence on the young man. Danny, however, had free reign. As long as Danny is not directly influenced by Clockwork in his choices, Danny could use his powers to remove the Pits’ influence little by little.

Danny snapped out of his thoughts the moment Jason hugged Clockwork, as if they were long time friends. His brothers were still weirded out behind him. Cassandra, the sister, looked like she wanted to roll her eyes.

“Alfie’s almost done getting ready,” said Jason, as he pulled away. “He’s just trying to pick which bowtie to wear.”

“I’m sure no matter which bowtie he chooses, he would still be the most beautiful,” said Clockwork, causing Danny to cringe. Because not only had he said something so corny, Clockwork’s face turned from smug to downright dopey and in love. It’s a weird look. Danny doesn’t want to see it again.

Jason, while Clockwork wasn’t looking, also grimaced. But when Clockwork put his attention back to him, his megawatt smile of innocence came back full force.

Danny saw that Bruce was going to say something, but then a cough was heard form the top of the stairs. There stood Alfred, all dolled up in a fine suit. The moment Alfred and Clockwork made eye-contact, both stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.

Perhaps, to these two old timers, time was moving slowly as Alfred descended upon the stairs. To Danny, he just saw two cute, old dudes about to hug. But instead of hugging, they decided to have a chaste little kiss on the lips, Clockwork adding another one on Alfred’s cheek, as they held hands and giggled like the lovebirds they are.

It’s super cute.

It’s also super gross.

No one wants to see their parental figures being all lovey-dovey.

Danny took a look at Bruce. He had his arms crossed and brows furrowed as he tried to glare Clockwork to death. Of course, that was impossible. And even if it were, Clockwork is already in the immortal afterlife.

Clockwork held an arm out. “Shall we?”

Alfred took his arm. “We shall.”

Danny furrowed his brows. “Wait, are you guys going on a date??” he asked. Because he thought that he was going to be with Clockwork WHILE he tried bonding with his... future emotional step-brother, nephews, and niece. Not... Not abandoned and left to fend for himself!

“Why, yes, Danny,” said Clockwork, looking very amusedly at him. “I told you I had reservations today. You’re the one who said that you wanted to tag along.”

Danny crossed his arms, mimicking Bruce who hasn’t moved a single inch. “I will make sure that we throw tomatoes at your face during your wedding.”

“Now, we don’t know if there’s going to be a wedding,” said Bruce.

Danny raised a brow towards Bruce. “There’s going to be a wedding.” Because there were too many invitation cards already made on Clockwork’s table, all decorated by Danny himself. If these two don’t get married, he will make sure that Clockwork will get papercuts from all the cards Danny had made. He worked hard on those damn cards, he’s not going to let it go to waste!

“But no worries, dear future emotional step-brother,” said Danny, smiling towards Bruce, “while these old timers are away, we shall make a detailed plan on how we’re going to make this cockwork suffer at the hands of his children and grandchildren.”

Bruce hummed in thought. Then, after a few second, he dropped his arms and nodded towards Danny. “I shall get the meeting room prepared then.”

Danny smirked. “Perfect.”

Bruce then turned to Clockwork with a glare. “He needs to be back by 11 pm.”

Alfred rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Master Bruce,” he said, stepping up to give Bruce a reassuring pat. And then a hug. “Do watch over the children while I’m gone.”

Bruce hugged Alfred back, and Danny swore he looked like he was going to cry. “Have fun Alfred,” he said, voice totally not wavering from how his chin was trembling. Danny took a peak at the other children, and they were all also in varying degrees of teary-eye. Wow. Clockwork is doomed if anything happens to Alfred. And Danny will be on the Batfamily’s side if that happens.

Sorry, Clockwork. But if it comes down to survival, siding with the Batfamily just seems like the obvious choice.

After Bruce, came the children. And after the children gave their warnings to Clockwork, and their farewells to Alfred, did Danny have all of their attention.

Danny smirked towards them. “So, where’s the meeting room?”

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