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So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

...

god something about Kevin using his position as "the Smiling God's beloved chosen prophet" to keep himself in control and therefore keep others from controlling him only for Lauren to gain a position over him and tell him that the Smiling God does not favor him the way he believed AND mock his belief in his own free will

my therapist really saved me….

i can't remember if i've written about it or not (maybe on my archived blog) but despite it being her very duty as dragonborn, remilia hates hates hates hates having to kill dragons & absorb their souls. she knows it's her "job" & she's the only one who can do it but ... remilia being the most un-dragonborn to ever dragonborn

yes, it provides her with ancient knowledge & power that normal mortals cannot even imagine or even begin to translate / understand (she barely does) but .... it hurts. it hurts so bad. it's like killing a piece of herself which i suppose makes sense because dragons are shards of time itself & she, as dragonborn, is also a fellow shard of time. so it is essentially a piece of her soul she is killing / taking away permanently ... hm. or maybe it's better to say it's a piece of infinity becoming finite? it feels wrong, it feels unbalanced. regardless, if she looks haunted & empty after slaying a dragon / taking its soul ... it's because she is. she will be sobbing into her hands as soon as she's out of sight so.... please be gentle w her.

one more night suffering through the curse of living in aragon, land where voice tones are very loud and booming. and some men refuse to cant control their voices so it can be 2 am and i will be hearing him speak in the room next door

peeling my skin off and tearing my hair out and screaming and crying and vomiting and walking into traffic and

Hurray!! My sister came out to my mum as bi/pan and told ma she had a girlfriend and it went well! She's not 100% supportive but we'll get there

.

I'm amazed. My friend found a goth girlfriend who seems to be just the coolest (not unexpected I love goth people) but upon seeing me for the first time the first thing she said was "Wait, so you're Ana? Oh my god I can't wait to start playing DnD with you! We need to make the gayest characters possible. As a chaotic bisexual, that's my role in society"

I immediately told both her and my friend that I'm stealing her from him

I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident

God my family is so rude about people who are sleeping

And for bad oversharing medical news the arrhythmia from december never went away but I thought maybe the throat infection was still there right so that could be a reason but then I went to a specialist and not only is it practically cured (just lingering a bit) but my lungs sound fine as well! which means! the shortness of breath is probably something wrong with the oxygen in the bloodstream and the slight chest tightness is also extremely worrying I could only make an appointment to get it checked next friday and that sounds like way too long