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#he loved merlin and then gwen and arthur as well and he gained a family in camelot and
hannahhook7744 · 8 months
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Modern Merlin Moodboards (Part 2) (Revamped);
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Character: Queen Guinevere Pendragon.
Modern name: Gwen Smith.
Age: 37 years old.
Modern job: Owner of a floral and boutique shop called 'Camelot Beauties'.
Short rundown of their modern life: Gwen Smith was born to a poor family in Brooklyn and grew up very happy until the death of her mother, which caused her older brother, Elyan, to runaway from home when she was 12.
Her mother was a seamstress and her father was a factory worker—both of whom would die from separate illnesses when she was 11 and 19 respectfully (not long after she first started her business). Leaving her on her own for a few months aside from her childhood best friend— Morgan's—family until her brother returned.
She would later go on to attend the weddings of Mithian and Elyan & Morgan and Del (as well as several others as she continued to meet people that her new friend Merlin kept introducing her to)—and she'd go to volunteer at Tristian and Izzy's Youth Center. Which was very fulfilling.
However, she could never quite shake the feeling that something was missing. A feeling that only slightly lessened when she adopted the baby boy she found on the doorstep of her shop when she was 26.
A feeling that continues to grow with every dream of the blonde with a charming smile in red who feels like home.
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Character: King Arthur Pendragon.
Modern name: Arthur Smith.
Age: 38 years old.
Modern job: Stay at home dad (until he becomes more acquainted with the modern day).
Short rundown of their modern life: King Arthur Pendragon has not yet risen but will likely become a stay at home dad (until he becomes more acquainted with the modern day) when he does.
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Character: Arthur the lesser and Artie Pendragon.
Modern name: Artie Smith.
Age: 11 years old.
Modern job: None. He's a student.
Short rundown of their modern life: Little Artie was left on the doorstep of 'Camelot Beauties' where he was found by the owner, Gwen Smith, who took him in.
She went on to raise him with the help of Morgana, Elyan, and the others.
Which caused him to befriend most, if not all, of their kids.
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Character: Morgause.
Modern name: Morgause le Fay.
Age: 43 years old.
Modern job: Lawyer.
Short rundown of their modern life: Morgause le Fay was born to an unfaithful stay at home mom (and former socialite) and a soldier (who loved her very much).
Eventually though her father died during combat and her mother disappeared in a fire (caused by an oven that was developed and sold by the Penace Industries— Morgan's father owned), leaving her in charge of her younger sister and permantly disfigured at 17 years old.
She then had to fight tooth and nail to become emancipated and then fight to gain custody of her sister against her sister, Morgan's, biological father (who was a very bigoted and classist man). Which wasn't easy to do but she managed. All the while beginning to hate the man more than she already had before the incident.
She went on to rent a house with a wannabe magician named Edwin so she could properly take care of her sister while she took up different jobs to provide for them both. And later the little street rat her sister took a liking to, Mordred.
After Morgan graduated, Morgause started to seeing Edwin—who she had already befriended and bonded with over their shared burn scars—and went to law school. Still working multiple jobs to feed herself and Mordred (with help from Morgan who had gotten a scholarship and access to a trust fund after her bio father died).
And eventually, Morgause graduated and began a lawyer—one who fought for those who couldn't fit for themselves. One who fought for businesses like the one her sister ran.
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Character: Edwin Muriden.
Modern name: Edwin 'Ed' Mercer.
Age: 43 years old.
Modern job: Famous Magician.
Short rundown of their modern life: Edwin 'Ed' Mercer grew up in the circus, raised by magicians until he was 7 when an oil lamp made by Penace Industries caused the trailer he lived in with his parents to burst into flames with them inside while he was playing outside.
Once he realized that his parents were in fact still inside, Edwin threw himself into the flames trying to save them and became disfigured in the process.
From that day on, he swore vengeance against Penace Industries—more specifically the owner—and ended up becoming roommates with the man's daughter and her older half sister, who Edwin took a fancy to.
He dropped his plans for revenge after Morgan's father died and continued on his path to becoming a magician.
Eventually crossing paths with Magicans Sophia and Gili, and street performer, Daegal, who he kinda became friendly rivals with.
Now he's a famous magician but still lives with Morgause who he is dating (niether are into the whole marriage thing) and he is very happy.
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Character: Lady Morgana Pendragon.
Modern name: Morgan le Fay.
Age: 41 years old.
Modern job: Owner of Morgan's Palace (a restaurant and gay club/bar).
Short rundown of their modern life: Morgan was the product of an affair between rich business man Uther Penace and her unfaithful stay at home (and former socialite) mom.
For the first fifteen years of her life, she was unaware of this fact as she was raised by her mother and her mother's husband—who was a solider—alongside her older half sister, Morgause.
Then her step father died in combat and a fire broke out because of a faulty oven that caused her mother to disappear and her sister to become disfigured.
She was in the foster system for months as her sister and father fought over custody of her until her sister finally won and took her in, working her ass off to provide for her.
When Morgan was 17, she found a little boy around 4 digging around in the trash trying to find some food after his own father died and convinced Morgause to take him in as their brother.
The boy's name was Mordred and he now works at the club/bar/ restaurant that Morgan opened up as soon as she had the proper licensing (at 21) and built with the leftover money from her trust fund (that her bio father left her).
Her business is located right next to childhood friend (Gwen Smith)'s shop, Camelot Beauties, and she (along with her wife, Del, who owns an occult shop just up the road) has helped Gwen raise her adoptive son, Artie, since the very beginning alongside her own son, Morgie.
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Character: Forridel.
Modern name: Del le Fay.
Age: 41 years old.
Modern job: Occult Shop Owner.
Short rundown of their modern life: Del le Fay (Nee West) was raised by her elderly grandmother who remained her only family until she died when Del was 24.
Leaving Del grieving and the proud owner of her grandmother's occult shop (West's Occult Shop).
The shop where Del would meet her adoptive little sister, Kara.
The shop where Del would meet her wife, Morgan le Fay, one day when she was 26 and looking for a present for her little thirteen year old brother, Mordred (who it turns out Kara knew when she was little if the pictures she had on her were anything to go by.
They quickly became friends and after three years of being friends, they started dating and eventually married.
She is also hiding a white baby dragin named 'Aithusa' that she found that only Morgan's son knows about. Well, officially anyway. Plenty of people have seen the dragon and it has become a bit of a local cryptid around where they live.
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Character: Morgie le Fay.
Modern name: Morgar 'Morgie' le Fay.
Age: 13 years old.
Modern job: None. He's a student.
Short rundown of their modern life: Morgar 'Morgie' le Fay was born under mysterious circumstances to Morgan le Fay before Morgan and Del started dating.
He was raised alongside Artie and has always looked up to his uncle Mordred.
When he was three he started having visions of his mother's past life and because of that he's become somewhat disillusioned to the world around him. And he's started to resent Artie.
And ever since he learned how to read, he's been practicing magic in secret. Including dark magic.
He's been helping his other mother, Del, hide and take care of Aithusa and thrives on hearing the stories people throw around about the supposed 'cryptid' that he knows is just the dragon. He finds them hilarious.
He is very happy with his parents despite his growing mental health issues and resentment towards the world around him.
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Character: Sir Mordred.
Modern name: Mordred Barlow le Fay.
Age: 28 years old.
Modern job: Waiter (at Morgan's Place) and Medical Intern.
Short rundown of their modern life: Mordred Barlow (Now Moedred Barlow le Fay) was born in a Wiccan compound who kept to themselves who he lived with for the first few years of his life.
When he was four, his father was sent out for supplies and took him with him—only to be killed in a mugging. Causing Mordred to have to fend for himself for a couple of days until he was found by Morgan le Fay who convinced her sister to take them in as their father.
So his name was changed to Mordred Barlow le Fay and he was raised as their little brother.
When he was 13, Morgan got him some Wiccan books for his birthday from the shop where she met her girlfriend, who just so happened to be fostering Mordred old childhood friend, Kara.
Now he lives in a flat above Morgan's Palace with his fiancée, Kara, where they both work while he interns at the local hospital under Dr. Merlin Everstone as he studies to become one himself.
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Character: Kara.
Modern name: Kara Galdur.
Age: 28 years old.
Modern job: Waitress (at Morgan's Place) and Overnight Stocker (West's Occult Shop).
Short rundown of their modern life: When Kara was 11, her guardian abandoned her into the custody of Del West who's treated like a younger sister ever since.
When she was 13, whe was reunited with her old childhood friend, Mordred, and her adoptive sister befriended his adoptive sister.
When she was 16, Del and Morgana married, and she started dating Mordred.
Now she works as a waitress at Morgan's Palace and an overnight stalker at at West's Occult Shop, and lives in the flat over Morgan's Palace with her fiance, Mordred.
🔮🪄🧿🔮🪄🧿🔮🪄🧿🔮🪄🧿🔮🪄🧿🔮🪄🧿
Mood boards for my Merlin story 'it's time, it's time, it's time' where the younger characters of Merlin get reincarnated and have a second shot at life. Minus Leon and Merlin who are immortal and have to find a way to prevent history from repeating itself.
Big thanks to @hufflepuffpirate20 , @gwaine-lover , @genderfunky-lesbian , @everything-but-the-not-natural , @witchmd13 , @sautedonions , and @purpleblobfrompluto for the help they gave back when this au started off (which was a lot). Tag list: @history-of-stories .
Here is a link to the story on ao3.
Part 1 is here.
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weakforarwen · 2 years
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Beauty and the Beast (Parts 1 and 2)
I thought of rewatching these episodes, but they don’t have much rewatch value. I watched the Arwen bits and that was it. The episode is amusing the first time around, but it’s very filler and went on for too long. Did it really need two parts? It’s also pretty disgusting, literally. 
It’s weird seeing Uther “in love” but I like the metaphor of the Lady Katrina. We’re easily seduced and tricked by beautiful and wealthy people; we assume a priori that they’re good, kind, and trustworthy. We do it all the time with celebrities who prove to be anything but virtuous (Ezra Miller, I’m looking at you, dude. WFT). Katrina said it herself that Uther was blinded by pretty things. That’s true, but he was also blinded by the fact that Katrina was a Princess. It’s like Arthur blindly trusting Agravaine because he was a Lord as well as family.
Anyway, there’s a lot of second hand embarrassment in this episode. Uther falling for Katrina’s tricks and being horny for her was more gross than funny. I felt Arthur’s disgust with my whole body. Kudos to the actress playing Katrina though. She did a banger job. 
Sadly, there’s nothing particularly interesting or outstanding about the episodes. The most memorable bits to me were Arwen and Arthur standing up to Uther. Those were the only “serious” moments in both episodes. Gwen didn’t get much screentime - there was a scene of her worrying over Merlin, and her scenes with Arthur - but I was happy to see her anyway.
My favorite part about Arthur’s character, and one of my favorite aspects of his and Gwen’s dynamic, is the push and pull between Uther and Gwen. In this episode, Arthur defies Uther’s orders to tax the people of Camelot because he knew they couldn’t afford it, because he knew they would die. When he sees his knights force a man to give more than he had, he orders them to let the man go and to return everyone their money. Gwen proudly watches as Arthur gains the support and gratitude of his people. It’s worth noticing that this is Arthur and Gwen’s first scene since Lancelot and Guinevere, two episodes before. I’m not sure if at this point Gwen is already over Lancelot, but the feelings inspired by Arthur’s kiss and their time together have been rekindled as Arthur continues to be the man she knew he was. 
I believe this episode marks a shift in their dynamic. Before, Arthur listened to Gwen and modified his behavior after she pointed out his mistakes (for turning down Hunith’s food, for not letting women fight, for treating Gwen’s home like his own). Now, that’s changed, Now Gwen doesn’t criticize Arthur, but rather support him when he comes to her for advice. Gwen knows the pressure Arthur’s under, how he wishes to please his father. She knows he needs to hear he’s doing well in defying his father and making his own choices. 
In this episode, for the first time, Arthur asks Gwen if he was right to disobey his father. Was he being too soft? Could he really be a King and a friend? His father didn’t think so, but Gwen tells Arthur that he would prove his father wrong when he became King. For the first time, Gwen tells a lucid Arthur that he has a good heart and should never change. 
Gwen had never before let Arthur know she felt that way about him. She told a dying and delirious Arthur that he gave her hope for the future of Camelot, but not lucid Arthur. But now she feels confident enough to tell him what she thinks, perhaps because she knows he’ll listen, but probably because she knows him better. She wasn’t aware of it before the events of The Once and Future Queen, but now that Gwen knows how badly Arthur wants to prove himself and how little faith he has in himself, she believes she must give Arthur the hope he gives her.
Gwen’s role in Arthur’s life is easily downplayed. She’s not “just” a love interest. She’s a driving force behind his character development. She’s one of the few people he seeks advice and approval from. He doesn’t just share his feelings or talk to her because he has no one else to talk to, as it often happens with Merlin, truth be told, but because he values her opinion above all others. Her approval means as much to him as his father’s. Arthur feels more confident disobeying his father when he knows Gwen approves. Of course, Arthur disobeyed Uther many times without Gwen ever knowing of it; he also broke up with Gwen without her approval. But, still, there’s no denying Gwen and Uther pull Arthur in opposite directions, with Gwen representing who he really is and wants to be, and Uther representing his fears, insecurities, and (high) societal pressure.
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prue84 · 1 year
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Addendum to “Star Trek/Merlin: the crew manifest”
Addendum to Fandoms in Trek AUs: Merlin. Annotations that I decided to not add to the main post to not make it too long.
About the blatant absences Initially the edit was short and it was easier to leave characters out. When I revisited it, and more characters were selected, it became harder to set a line. What would make a character ok and another not? These are the parameters I tried to stick to. - non!human characters. Characters that, despite being apparently human, humans are not, but are magical creatures. Anhora and Sophia, for example, but the Fisher King as well. - villain of the day. Back when I originally put this crew together in 2017, I made the decision to leave the non recurring evil/antagonists characters out, no matter how much charming or interesting (or even loved) they are (by either me or fandom). In the first 2021 repêchage only Mary Collins survived the axing (pun not intended) as she was perfect as transporter chief. Since then, a couple more made it into the edit (the one that are my favest or made more an impact or their characterization was interesting). - royals. Every king (or queen) we see has been left out. The older belong to Uther's same generation and therefore established (off-edit) as admirals. The youngest (Cenred) is still a captain and their rivalry goes back to before the Excalibur. Of them all, Annis is the one I miss the most: Rodor is a nice father, for as little as we see him, and Godwyn likely won Best Albion Father for 20 years straight, but Annis is the only recurring between them and got more characterization as main character of an episode. I felt it would be quite outrageous if she were serving under Arthur, IMHO. I know, he should've been High King and what but, alas, he isn't in the tv show so he can't give orders to other kings. About the positions and assignments I went about assigning the positions with a criterion in mind: split the characters in three categories that would then be assigned a department. All royal-borns went into command, magic was compared to science so all the magic users went into science and the rest, be them security (like knights) or servants and other miscellaneous roles are operations. Science was then split into further two subdivisions: the medical department (that includes both the doctors and the nurses) and the (my headcanon) computer systems, and I tried to make a sense in assigning characters to a specific subdivision. Onto the specifics, character by character: - Uther Pendragon I couldn't not include him. And the admiral that bosses the captain around was the only role he could play. Back then when I made the first edit in 2017, @dragoneyes raised the topic of Uther being allowed to hold the position of Liaison Officer of his own son. I figured that, given how Uther is inflexible - especially with his own son -, Starfleet knows that he will be Captain's Pendragon first and hardest judge. Also, the Pendragons might be the "nobles" of Starfleet, those families that are part of Starfleet since it was founded and therefore has much power within the organization, so much that he can gain the role despite the blatant conflict of interest. - Arthur Pendragon Duh. - Gwen Arthur trusts her implicitly (well, after Merlin I guess) and, given that he was sure there couldn't be someone better than her to fill the throne after his death (and, well, she is her second even in canon)... the role of First Officer was a given. She's a red shirt because she doesn't come from command - as she's a commoner. Also, in the 2260s/2270s it was common for the First officer to be also the head of a department (so says Memory Alpha, actually it's just that we had one workaholic example like Spock) and, given what we're shown (and told by her) in Lancelot, she is a weapons specialist. - Merlin Since I decided to make the connection between magic and science, the choice to put Merlin at the very top of the science food chain was a given, both because of his "Emrys" status that makes him revered by most of the magical world, and because he's the most powerful of them all. Also, he's curious and dabs in more than one specific branch compared to, say, Morgana who is more focused on a (dark) branch. So yes, he's every-magical-one's boss and he's in charge of a whole department made of blue shirts. GASP. Morgause will be delighted. And Arthur would have something to say as well. If only fictional characters could talk live fic authors let them do in the early 2000s... - Leon Duh. No, seriously: if you need to ask me why I picked him for Armory Officer, you don't know Leon, else you would be aware of his penchant for weapons. No, kidding. He would be great at everything (Security Chief, First Officer to Arthur) but I though entrust him the Armory would be best. He's also given the role to oversee the Tactical Systems, which means he's in charge of not only the weapons aboard the ship but the ship's weapons, like phaser banks and such. This way his role in this AU reflects that he's been in charge of the security of the city whenever Arthur was away and Camelot was attacked (which, like, happened every. fucking. time. The Council should've just taken the decision to chain Arthur to the throne, this way Camelot would still be standing). More of his role at this post. - Gaius In the first version of this edit, he was given the CMO role - which was a duh! choice. Now. Going by the "ordered by power and position in the magic hierarchy", Gaius is very low in the food chain - he knows magic, has a very deep knowledge of it, but raw power? Not so much. So I thought it would fit him better to be a nurse: Chapel does have a prominent position on the TOS Enterprise (Nurse Chapel appears to be a step higher, in the sickbay hierarchy, than M'Benga, who is a full-fledged medical officer), so it's not a punishment. - Gwaine Duh. No, seriously: if you need to ask me why I picked him for Communication Officer, you don't know Gwaine. Oh my, poor Arthur who gets to have Gwaine on the bridge at every.single.shift. I feel bad, not that I think about it. - Morgana + Morgause In the first version, Morgana was the head of the computer systems department, a subdivision of the science department because Merlin's still more powerful than her. Now Morgause was moved away from her old role (nurse - can you imagine ending up in a sickbay where Nimueh the CMO and Morgause the head nurse rule? Yeah), I decided it was more fitting for her to be Morgana's superior than the other way, given that it's Morgause who teaches and tutors Morgana into the High Priesthood. - Lancelot Since he should be the best of Arthur's knights, what could he do if not the Security Chief? - Freya In the original edit she covered the "human!Ship" role and, after picking the Excalibur for this crew's ship, the role screamed for Freya. But I changed my mind, and the "human!Ship" will be an exclusive to the Enterprise. Freya then has been given the role of 0178 in Into Darkness, she's acts like a conduit between the systems and the commanding crew, monitoring the systems - she's the closes the character could be to a role of a "Excalibur" guardian. - Percival As any knight, if there isn't another role, they go to security. Percival came to Camelot following Lancelot, so it's perfect for him to be Lancelot's second. - Elyan Although we don't see him in this role, off-screen it's said that, upon returning to Camelot, he took over his father's blacksmith, making him the character - between them all - that made more sense in Engineering. - Nimueh She's the first High Priestess we're introduced to and, from what we're shown, the most powerful. Likely not, it's just that in the Season One every magical characters was shown doing magical feats bigger than during the other four season, but... hey, canon. Also, if that isn't enough to justify her choice for the head of the medical department... one of her feats was basically healing from certain death Arthur. - Mordred Knight, so security. As an in-joke, I made him in charge of the security area, which means the brigs and their guests. - Alator + Finna He's a High Priest, and he could fit in sickbay as Nimueh's second. But then I thought about when he kneels in front of Merlin offering his loyalty, and I figured that he'd be a good second to Merlin. But then I thought that his role in the show is to extract a confession out of Gaius, so he could fit as counselor as well. Finna refers to Alator as "master" and shares his loyalty and will to serve "Emrys", so I initially made her follow Alator under Merlin, but a step lower. So, when Alator was transferred to counselor, she replaced him. - Geoffrey No character, besides Arthur, had a more perfect position for them. - Tristan + Isolde Ah ah, these two. Imagine them making sure they honor the tradition of gossip queen at the bridge station that Chekov and Sulu have started. I admit I didn't know who to pick for these two positions and these two fitted perfectly, for what we've seen of how they lead their lives. Isolde is the tactical and navigator because she's the most level-headed of the two, we know it (well, you don't need these characteristics to fill the position but whatever: Trystan leads by driving, she makes sure he doesn't go bump into a planet). - Kilgharrah + Aithusa Ahahahahahahahah. I just couldn't not include Kilgharrah and, when I decided how, Aithusa was to be featured as well. Let it be recorded for posterity that I was VERY tempted, when I reworked the edit, to make Kilgharrah a counselor (a la Deanna Troy of The Next Generation). I just let it go because then I wouldn't know how to place Aithusa - as they would be still from the same sentient race. - Mary Collins She is the first character who is shown to teleport, the only one who does it by using an object (compared to Morgana and Morgause who apparently do it on their own power), so it would make sense for her to be in charge of the teleportation method in the Star Trek world. - Aglain He helps and heals Morgana from the Serket's poison, also he's a pacific druid, and would fit good in a medical/healing setting. He's a druid leader so he's right for the position of second to the CMO. - Will When I decided to include him, I was puzzled: in which role he could fit? We don't get much of Will, we don't know what he does (someone tried to explain he could be a carpenter judging by the content of his hut), we see him fight not because he's got a training. So. The choice of assistant engineer came more from comparing Will to Elyan than else. For some reason, it made sense to me that they followed the same path. Don't ask. - Mithian I really love her. If there hadn't been any chance for Arthur and Gwen to marry and love each other, Mithian would've been the perfect queen for Camelot and for Arthur so I wanted her in from the very first version of the edit. I trust, given that from what canon suggests she is the only child of King Rodor, she has been raised to become the ruler of Nemeth and so she should be as prepared as Arthur in that matter. Not to forget that in season 5 she shows she's very apt in tactical, since she manages to warn Merlin about Morgana despite Morgana's constant vigilance. Of the little choice command division offers, for what she does in 5x04 tactical struck me as the right one. - Elena Her inclusion came in the revisited edition. I followed the same thinking pattern that applied for Mithian, command. We know she likes riding, and helmsman fitted. Yes, she and Mithian serve together. - George Ahahahahah. Seriously. For once George will have the privilege and honor to serve Arthur without Merlin's meddling. And this time, given that Merlin's not the first officer like Spock to Kirk, Merlin won't be (much) in the way. - Edwin Duh. Also, since we established that the sickbay is ruled by a very vengeful High Priestess... Edwin is just in his habitat. He's one of the few villains-of-the-day I wanted to include when I revisited the edit: as most of the Season One villains, he's memorable and deserved to be here. - Sefa Actually it was included because I needed a number to even the edit (back in late 2021 when the graphic was still set in a two-columns format). She's a character that lasted little but deserved more, she wasn't evil, just loyal to her father. Initially I placed her in communications, as Gwaine's second, but it was too high in the hierarchy given her serving role in the show (the Queen's maid) and her short stay, so I eventually demoted her to simple yeoman. She's young, she'll have time to raise the ranks. - Iseldir He's a chieftain of the druids, he's made non-violence his way of life. Like Aglain. But he appears even less willing to act and react. Also, not sure if Aglain is a step higher in the druid society. Anyway, since I had only a head nurse at this point, I placed him under Gaius. - Helios One of the last additions. He's a warlord, and would fit in security. But I already had too many of them, and I had this spot empty. He can still lead something, this way. - Kara I hate her. I don't understand her and I can't forgive her for being the reason Mordred betrays Camelot for Morgana. I can't forgive her because she was given a second chance but she threw it away (it can be understandable from her own point but, still, her choice doomed not only Arthur but also Mordred). Anyway. I really couldn't leave her out when I added the (almost) last batch of characters. Her placement in security is a given, since she's a warrior. She's a druid, but we're not even shown her doing magic, so red shirt like Mordred she is. - Alice Duh. Gaius says her skills as medician have always been superior to his, so I decided to make her a full doctor, but with Gaius being the Christine Chapel of the ship, he's still higher on the field. - Tyr He works in the royal stables, the closest to an engineer comparison you could get - well, after working in a smithy I guess. - Gilli Another from the "minor characters" batch. He's somehow threated like someone who needed some tutoring from Merlin - not magically but to better himself and know his place in the world, so I put him in Merlin's department. A Merlin with magic chicks to tutor is a happy Merlin, after all. - Vivian She's obnoxious, we would all hate her if it weren't for the love charm that turns her into a victim. She was the very, very last to be added, in the latest three-characters batch with Iseldir and Finna. I literally didn't know where to place her. She clearly was to be put into command, and command gives so little choice (in the TOS!Enterprise crew you can find like two characters who are command and aren't either helmsman or navigator, and they were clearly given the wrong color). So she was to be placed at the helm stations. But why would I subject the bridge crew, any bridge crew, to her lovely charm-free presence? Kevin Riley, who is a gold shirt, gets transferred by Kirk to communication section so I thought... why not? Why don't give her the command of the communication room? So she can boss everyone but just away from the bridge? - Daegal Added with Gilli. Initially I was considering him for a nurse role, since we seem him in the healer role, then I thought that he was meant to be one of Merlin's apprentices (he would've been if Merlin had the chance). But I couldn't find a specialization within science (I could make her a botanist, I guess), but... well. Surfing Memory Alpha and, specifically, the Enterprise crew complement, I happened into the role of orderly (citation, "whose primary role was in assisting a doctor" but that doesn't require "a basic level of medical knowledge" like medical assistant). And bam!, perfect. - Julius This is clearly an in-joke. But one that makes sense. In canon he's set on breaking into the vaults, here he's in charge of making sure no one breaks into it. About the ranks I tried to maintain the power hierarchy (both magical and within the Camelot society) of the tv show with the ranks assigned. Gwen, as the queen, is second only to Arthur the King, so she's the only one given the rank of commander. Lieutenant commander was assigned to two categories of characters: the ones born into royalty and the ones that represent the royalty in the magic world (Morgana, Morgause and Nimueh as High Priestesses and Alator as High Priest). Merlin, as the most powerful sorcerer blabla fits into the category as well. While Leon, unlike the rest of the knights, gets this rank because he's the only one of them all born into nobility and I think this detail had to be included. All Arthur's (favourites)knights get a lieutenant, like Tristan and Isolde (who had been allies to Arthur). In this rank fall also the magic characters in the second level of power (the druids Aglain and Iseldir, Edwin and Finna) and other kind of chiefs like Hellios. Gaius and Geoffrey, who sit in the Royal Council, get the rank as well. Mordred, as the last and youngest knight of the lot, gets a lieutenant junior grade, and he's the only one with this rank to underline his unique position. Characters further down the magic or power hierarchy like Freya and Gilli are assigned ensign. Kara gets this rank because I felt she would be the kind of person to commit by applying to the Academy. Then we get to characters that I felt could be non-commissioned, either because not part of the Camelot "family" or because belonging to the very bottom of the hierarchy, servants and common people. To reflect the differences in magic power I chose to play with chief petty officer, that was reserved for Mary Collins, and Alice, who's given a rank that allows her to be put at the head of a department, should necessity arose, and be at the same level of Gaius's "nurse", but way below the other characters who were given commissioned ranks in the medical field. Our favorite brass-cleaning servant George is a non-commissioned officer, to reflect his status as servant. But, since he's a damn bloody professional (and would deserve more), he has the highest rank for non-commissioned officers, like does Will - even if, for him, it's just out of sentimentalism, as Merlin's best friend and a characters we all cried for. Petty officer, the lowest rank above crewman, is for servants like Sefa and Tyr (yes, Sefa was the equivalent of George, but I wanted to reflect she's been in the castle for few months, compared to George who is likely to be a "senior" servant) and a thief like Julius. I liked them better than mere "crewmember" that is the bottom of the enlisted personnel chain. Daegal, who is a simple druid who's not even shown to use magic, gets the short stick and is crewman, 1st class to underline he's green and barely out of the trainee status, given that he's one of the latest characters introduced in the show. Kilgharrah and Aithusa were given a rank as Crewman third class (the lowest) because reasons. I don't remember if it's canon or if I took the idea somewhere else, but yes, I gave ranks and serial numbers to the animals aboard the ship as personal pets. About the surnames: Only the Pendragons, and a couple of other characters, get a surname in the show so, for the sake of the AU, I had to pick surnames for most of the characters. Had to play with the legendary characters: it was fun doing research, if you ask me. - Gwen and Elyan Initially "Leblanc", from both Helyan le Blanc and Guinevere's name meaning, I later edited it into a Smith that made more sense given their specific status in the BBC's version of their characters. Research told me that at the time surnames weren't used, but you were known for where you came or your job and at some point a John the Smith would become Smith. So. Smith it is. - Merlin There could be many names to dab from in the legends, or I could use his mother's name as in Hunithson but, frankly, Emrys is there for a reason. For us fans to make it his surname when we need to (and cannot find another). Right? Also, I already have others that went by -son. - Leon According to Merlin Wikia, the character might be based around King Leondegrance, king of Cameliard. - Gaius This character might be based on Blaise (Blaze) - who according to some sources was Merlin’s mentor- so I picked Blaze. - Gwaine In the legends he's the son of King Lot, and Lotson could work. - Morgana I decided to give her another surname to not make it too glaring that Uther Pendragon is a very nepotist man. - Lancelot "Lancelot du Lac" is the title of a 1974 movie about his love story with Guinevere. Oh, yes, and the title of episode 4x09. - Percival I didn't find anything that could work as surname, besides the name of his father (son of Efwc - Efwcson?), but since he's the Grail hero I figured Grail could fit. - Morgause Initially I was going for the "le Fay" that wasn't needed for Morgana, but then... well. I was tempted by "Gormause" but I thought it was a bit too lame. Picked a King, but then reverted back because, why not? I don't know in other languages, but in Italy we do have people with names which are basically the singular of the surname (Mauro Mauri), so... In the end I did choose to make it a composite surname with both King and Gormause with the use of the hyphen. - Nimueh I literally had no idea. Cara, if you don't remember, is the name she goes by when she comes to Camelot under the guise of an handmaiden to King Bayard. Apparently, Cara is an ancient surname originated in Sicily, so I decided to make it Nimueh’s surname. - Alator and Finna Those are the groups they're affiliated with: Alator is a Catha, and Finna is defined a Bendrui. - Tristan Couldn't find something that could work, so I stole the name of his kingdom, Lyonesse. - Ysolde Iseult of the White Hands isn't the same Ysolde from which the show's Ysolde was inspired from, but I couldn't find anything else to make a surname, so I stole Blanchmains from that one. - Aglain There was literally no other choice, as playing with "Druids" was already used for Daegal. He saves and cures Morgana from the venom of the Serket, so... - Will He did call himself "Prince of Ealdor", albeit jokingly to mock Arthur... -Mithian and Elena Ah, well. It was either use the name of their kingdoms or their fathers' and add a -son; I choose the former. The "de" particle is a particle that, in the Middle Ages, was used to show geographical origin in the names of people of all classes. Not a nobiliary particle per se, but the closest that could be found in the English language, ad it was either that or the german "von", which was out place. - George It's lame, I know, but I couldn't resist. XD - Iseldir He's a chieftain of the druids. There was literally no other word or title to play with. - Sefa As there was literally nothing to cling to, her father's name got the honor - just without a -son this time. - Kara She was the hardest to find because there's literally nothing about her that could be turned into a surname. In the end I did have to pick this lame "Freedom" as the thing she claims to fight for. - Vivian There's no canon kingdom assigned to Olaf, so I couldn't go the Mithian/Elena route with her. King was picked in the perspective of mentioning her father, who then would go by Olaf King. - For the rest not mentioned above, the choice is self-explaining and you don't need to take a look at the Merlin Wikia to remember an obscure detail. - Kilgharrah and Aithusa I decided to give the pets the surname of their owners, like they do in some countries.
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bisaster-energy · 2 years
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merlin and/or mcu for the blorbification list <3
Hi nemy !!! I'm gonna do Merlin and then later I'll probably post a whole separate one for MCU (god that'll be a long post)
Blorbo: oh Merlin my Merlin :) from boy to man shouldering the responsibility of all of Albion without so much as a thank you I kiss him goodnight in my head. Everyone who's anyone loves at least a little bit (even if they hate him) it's just how it works!! A god amongst men living like a servant. Insane. Magical entities speak directly to his brain and he just has to pretend to be Some Guy visiting nobles feel like their world has turned upside down when they see him tell a joke that makes the king guffaw. The other servants swoon when they see him. He looks out of his window in the dark of night looking to the stars like they'll answer "why" or "how" or even "what for". I could talk about him until it kills me
Scrunkly: Gwen!! She's everything to me ooohh my god. She's so lovely and also will stab you. She's awkward as hell and is constantly putting her foot in her mouth but it's so endearing. She steals the hearts of so many! The king of Camelot could be out for blood she'd be like "Arthur" and he'd be like "yes darling :)" like she has him and everybody else absolutely whipped. Do not let her and Merlin gang up on you they'd be unstoppable 😩 she's the queen of Camelot and she's perfect in the sense that she's not
Scrimblo bimblo: elyan without a doubt. No one wears a hoodie like him 🥰 he's small he's ace and he's here to fuck shit up. his sister is the queen loser watch your kneecaps cos if he catches u talking shit it's over. Percival carries him around sometimes :) he verbally destroys the knights (specifically gwaine) at any point in time just for kicks! He's also very soft and kind (don't get me started on the ghost of the druid boy I'll cry) anyway wdym he's dead he's right here putting the racist who challenged him in a duel to shame
Glup shitto: GWAINE the absolute madlad!! He probably doesn't count as obscure but he should've been in the show more!! Every time he's on screen I'm like "THERE HE IS!! THE BOY! what atrocities will he commit :)" from the first time we met him we were as enamored with him as Merlin was. Mans was in the middle of a bar fight and stopped to flirt with the Twink with the cheekbones and honestly that's on code. He's noble and hates it but he'd go riding into hell for the prattiest one of all because Merlin is the love of his life and he'd want him to. Merlin his first friend who'd never tire of him never ask him to change loves him just the way he is. Merlin braids his hair Merlin berates him while tending to his wounds Merlin is everything to him. But he also found friends in circles he doubted he ever would before coming to Camelot. Him shooting the shit with knights who woulda thought. He calls the crown prince Princess and I love him I love him
Poor little meow meow: somehow Arthur goes right here. Idk why but he gets a lot of hate but I love him he doesn't deserve it 🥺 he treats Merlin like shit even after he's had character development that should've CHANGED THAT so I DO metaphorically pinch his arm on occasion. Maybe if we had a spritz bottle for when he's being nasty :) anyways he's pathetic he always listens to his father but it's never enough he fell in love with two servants who are too good for him and his self worth is based entirely on other people. He's a bisexual dumbass who's closest knights are all really hot guys. hm. He's done a lot of bad things but he's also so so good the future if his kingdom rests with him and in his eyes it's his burden alone to bear and I think a blanket and some hot chocolate would do him good!!
Horse plinko: Leon my beloved <3 aptly named the long suffering because the pain never stops!! From "poetry lessons" to straight up not being able to die this man has had it rough and I'm only gonna make it worse. I love him but I love him more while he's contemplating yeeting himself onto a sword. the knights (AND THE KING) fall asleep during his speeches. He's the actual mom of the group and don't let Lancelot fool you into thinking he's some how more nature than the rest of these assholes (to be fair Leon has his moments of mischief as well 😌)
Eeby deeby:
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I hate him your honor.
Tysm for the ask nemy!!!!
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monotonous-minutia · 3 years
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Merlin mini-rant
I really like the show but one of the things that doesn’t sit quite as well with me is the handling of who started as possibly my second-favorite character, Morgana.
I like heroine Morgana. She’s sassy and spunky and sweet, has a little more humility (and possibly humanity, at least at first) than Arthur, so they balance each other out at the start. Despite the fact that (and I’m still not really sure why they do this, because it doesn’t last long) the narrative seems to ship them at first, they have a really sweet, genuine sibling relationship that helps build the foundation of their friend group/found family. Morgana is physically strong and agile without the narrative making her sacrifice her femininity to be so (as is too often seen). She’s also very smart and talented in ways that others aren’t; while several characters are off winning physical battles afar, she’s at home winning battles with words. There are many episodes in Season One where the story would not have ended as well as they did if she hadn’t said what she did, to whom she did. She knows the ins and outs of the palace, she knows who’s who, and she knows what everyone’s priorities are, so she can almost always find the right thing to say to make them see sense, and often come to realizations that help them grow as people. She has a deep, innate empathy to those around her regardless of rank, while still recognizing ranks enough to utilize her power appropriately (and sometimes just be a little priss--she’s young, y’know). She’s incredibly gay with Gwen and I love it.
I also like villain Morgana. Her journey from the above-described heroine to the ruthless villain we see by the end of the series is well-thought-out, and the slow deterioration of her morality based on the events she goes through is both heartbreaking and makes me want to bang my head into the wall. She continues to be incredibly powerful, still using her wit and words as weapons, as well as becoming an alarmingly great sorceress. Her degeneration from the stately figure we see early on to the deranged witch by the end of the action is meticulous. And the fact that she’s still very attached to Gwen even after all these developments, and even when Gwen makes the choice to stay in Camelot, is an interesting touch that adds a depth to her that isn’t always seen with villains.
But I gotta say I love heroine Morgana more, and not really just for emotional reasons.
I’m not mad that the main villain of the series ends up being a woman, because the idea that women can’t be villains is just ridiculous to me. And, as said before, her arc is very well-written imo, so it doesn’t seem like a cop-out, like “we just wanted a girl villain bc girls are bad.”
I am a little mad that when the main villain turns out to be a woman, it leaves only one woman in the principle cast of heroes. Not that Gwen can’t totally hold her own, but it would have been nice to have her dynamic feminine duo with Morgana (and their ridiculous gayness) for the rest of the series, rather than leaving the majority of the action up to the men. Plus, I think keeping Morgana around as a hero might have given Gwen more outlets to be involved in the main action as well, since these two are definitely a power couple.
Dramatically speaking I think it might have worked better, too. Again, I like the villain arc Morgana gets--it isn’t rushed and it’s well-thought-out. But I think it would have been even nicer to have them be two different characters. Maybe keep Nimueh around for a few extra seasons, and/or introduce someone else with the same powers Morgana ends up with. Or keep Morgause; she could even still be Morgana’s half-sister, but Morgana refuses to join her, adding another layer to the hero/villain dynamics. Her backstory could be similar, and we could see parts of it along the way as it intertwines with the rest of the plot.
But I would have loved to see Morgana stay in Camelot as one of the lead heroes. Early on she doesn’t seem to have any desire to gain the throne (and I always thought the whole “she’s-actually-Uther’s-biological-daughter” thing was a cop-out anyway), so I can totally see her finding herself in a supportive, advisor-type role to Arthur as he takes on more and more responsibility. Their sibling dynamic would provide a lot of genuine sweetness and sassy banter throughout. She could continue to provide valuable assistance during the adventures, using her words and knowledge and influence to help out, becoming wiser as the years go on and helping Arthur build a strong kingdom.
She could have continued her super-sweet relationship with Gwen, supporting her as she slowly becomes more important in the court, vouching for her despite her rank, and continuing to be incredibly gay.
I think it would have been really cool if she and Merlin connected early on about their magic and confided in each other. I would have loved to see the two of them struggling together as they harness their powers, and bonding over that; and Merlin for once being able to take on a mentor-type role where his contributions are actually acknowledged, as he helps Morgana through the early stages of her revelations. Plus, it would help both of them feel much less alone, which not only saves Morgana from the villain path, but also gives Merlin some of the attention and support that he needs and never effing gets.
I think it would be funny if Arthur’s impression that they’re flirting continued throughout the series as a running gag, especially as they’d be making excuses to spend more time together so they can help each other with their magic. They could even use it to their advantage at times to get him off their backs. (On that note, I can see Morgana concluding the series with no other love interest than Gwen, though it would also be funny if she continually received suitors that were more running gags or funny side-plots to other stories).
I can almost see it like this: instead of refusing to tell Morgana that he also has magic in 2x3 (“The Nightmare Begins”), Merlin actually does tell her, so instead of her going to the Druids and starting that path of conflict, she and Merlin become closer and her goals become more focused and she’s less scared, and that prevents her from going down the path of darkness.
As Morgana works to understand and control her powers, she could learn about its history and lore and the Old Religion and stuff and be able to help identify sorcery and mythical creatures when they come across them.
And her relationship with Mordred could add yet another layer to the hero/villain dynamic; she could take on a mentoring role for him when he joins the Knights, maybe even helping him out with his magic and trying to get him into her and Merlin’s little “magic circle.” Merlin’s suspicion of Mordred could cause some juicy personal conflict between him and Morgana, and Mordred’s inevitable betrayal would be devastating in a dramatically satisfying way, if that makes sense.
All in all, I do like villain Morgana and her whole villain arc; but I would have liked it even more if she’d stayed in Camelot as one of the heroes, keeping her place in the principle cast of characters and remaining an important part of their friend group/Disaster Bi Club.
anyway....those are my thoughts...idk if anyone on here even knows what I’m talking about lol but I wanted to get it out there; I usually do my TV show rants on Twitter but the character limit for posts prevents long stuff like this.
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myfandomrambles · 3 years
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Morgana Pendragon Character Analysis (pt1)
Introduction:
Morgana Pendragon is one of the most key characters in Merlin. Her role is integral to the character arc of all of the other leads. Her story is about how someone can let their pain consume them whole. As an abuse victim and a member of a marginalised community, she is set up for being isolated and fearful. This alienation is turned both inward and outward making her deeply dangerous to herself and others. She takes this alienation to push almost everyone out of her life and force others to suffer the same way she did. Her righteous anger at her treatment by her father and society goes to waste when none is put to constructive ends. 
She allows emptiness, fear and anger to consume her. She replaced her core beliefs with those of “others are out to hurt me” and “the only way to live is through the acquisition of power”. Her ability for both affective and cognitive empathy becomes suppressed as any joy she can drive comes from exerting control over others. She is compelled into implementing her obsessions around revenge and survival. Depression, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, fear and anger fill all corners of her mind leaving her without access to flexible thought and internal peace. 
Analysis:
At the start, she is living as a member of court and Uther’s ward. She continually butts heads with Uther. This is due to her being headstrong and fearless. This bravery and stubborn disposition causes more rifts as she is seen to be hysterical and as an object, leaving her subject to gaslighting and other forms of abuse. However, this rarely stops her from being involved when important. Morgana often works with Arthur and Merlin early on. The most key of these events being when they save Mordred. (1x08)
However, her stubbornness isn’t all-consuming, while resisting being forced to do things she dislikes she is smart enough to know when to lie and when to bend the knee. Partly because as a child and young-adult she holds a mix of respect, love and fear towards Uther. She shows skills in court life, this is deeply important to understand as it becomes a useful skill when she works against the kingdom. But in the beginning, it shows someone who lives in the duality of wanting to assert herself and someone who absorbed the social rules she was raised with. 
Morgana shows great care for those around her wanting them to be safe and happy. Often stepping up to speak on behalf of them, and generally treating even Gwen and Merlin, people considered her inferiors socially, with respect. Standing up for Gwen's dad, helping protect Elador, helping feed peasants and trying to protect Gwen when they are attacked shows her kindness and loyalty. (1x03, 1x08, 1x10-12)
She doesn’t have a consuming desire for power, no particular plan to marry into or otherwise acquire power. Her later turn to power is reactive and less of an innate drive. It also a drive to be the one who determines her future. 
When Morgana's powers start to grow we see the first shift in her character. The development of anxiety and depression colour the way she acts. It adds layers to her abuse and trauma. A great deal of gaslighting is used to convince her she is mistaken and to prevent the acknowledgement of her magic. Which we know Gaius has been hiding since she was a child visa via her prophetic nightmares. 
This alienation is from the entire culture she grew up in. When she visits the druids in The Nightmare Begins (2x03) Morgana feels free and desires to stay, she just wants to be herself. 
This is similar to the experience marginalised people experience in real life. She knows that if discovered her magic father figure/father would likely kill her. Morgana also believes her other loved ones would at the least disown her. 
In reality, there is some nuance. Merlin acts as both an agent of the system while originally trying to help her and Gaius and Gwen would not wish harm on her. But Morgana is understandably afraid and full of anxiety to reach out for help. This anxiety, confusion, fear and alienation become the way she perceives the world. Life is Morgana, then everyone else. This pain drives a wedge between her and everyone she used to care for.
Outside of the gaslighting and threat of violence, she experiences from those close to her during The Witchfinder (2x07) we see her deal with mental assault from an outside force with no support from her family as they don’t understand. This makes her dysregulation, anxiety, depression and isolation worsen. 
The next two key events in her first character transformation can be seen at the end of season two. First, Morgana meets Morgause (2x08) and automatically feels a connection to her. Second, Morgana is pushed to verbally disown Uther due to his treatment of Avalar and by extension the rest of the Druids and others born with magic. This is the final relational rupture between them:
Morgana: They are rising up against you! From this day forward, I do not know you. From this day forward, I disown you
King Uther: You will go to your chambers!
Morgana: And you, Uther, you will go to hell.
 (2x11)
We then see her move into helping Morgause try and destroy Camelot. At this point, it is driven by the anger she has for Uther and his treatment of others. It has yet to have the drive of becoming queen. Her connection to Morgause also plays a large role as she finally has a person to be close to without the artifice of court life over it. Morgause gives her a choice and with that an illusion of power. At this point, there is a more powerful member of their team. Morgana ends this attempt at Camelot almost being murdered by someone she considered a friend. (2x12)
We then have an interesting moment in her character arch in her year away from Camelot. This time away changes her from someone who while willing to hurt Uther didn’t seem driven for the destruction of Camelot, to one who will hurt everyone. There is also a reprieve from the fear-driven to more controlled anger by the assistance of Morgause. 
We are never told what happened in the year. All we know is he stayed with her sister and likely had her hatred of Uther entrenched even further. Her worst tendencies towards vengeance over justice and ego over compassion are reinforced. This shifts her schema farther into negative ones and worsens her ability to think in shades of grey.
When she does return her previous ability to play the game of court life is stronger and utilised to great effect convincing everyone for a while that she is essentially the same person, except for Merlin and by extension Gaius. Gwen is the next to figure it out due to Morgana’s affect control dropping and her real emotion bleeding through over time. (3x08)
As she returns to Camelot she quickly moves to attempt another attack. This attempt is stopped again by Merlin, but in this attempt, we see new cruelty in her willingness to torture Uther and that her magic has grown. This is also the last time I believe her alienation and marginalization is her driving force. After this, I think she fully turns her internalized fear of her magic onto everyone else. Her exchange with Merlin during the battle feels genuine and not at all like manipulation or even just a justification as it becomes later, but a real motivation. She has not yet grown to shut off her empathy for everyone, only Uther and Arthur. (3x1-2)
Soon after her second attempt on the castle, we see another large shift in motivations. She almost dies and is severely injured which puts her in a vulnerable place and during this same time she learns she is Uther’s daughter in blood as well as circumstance. She learns that he never was willing to claim her or even tell her. This pushes her to act rashly, almost committing patricide. (3x05)
Her ability to be cruel in her aims continues to grow, to hurt Arthur she puts Gwen through terrible pain as well as Elyan. (3x07) We see her magic grow, her emotions grow but her ability to hide her intentions failing, at least around Gwen. Her attempts at her family's lives also continue to be cruel as she tries to kill Arthur and Uther in slow and painful ways. (3x08, 3x11)
When Morgana isn’t trying to kill the people she used to love she is trying to mess with their lives in more petty ways. This includes exposing the love Arthur and Gwen have for each other, putting their relationship in jeopardy and Gwen’s over well being. This is over her fear of Gwen being Queen when Arthur would become Queen, something that Morgana gains obsessive thoughts over throughout the rest of the story. (3x10)
Morgana is willing to kill a large number of the people at this point not only those she has a personal issue with. Though she does offer safety to Gwen thought it’s contingent on her considering Morgana to be the rightful queen. She is willing to rule by fear and threat, not understanding how to win over the people. (3x12-13). This attempt fails and Morgana loses her sister and the allies her sister made.
After being defeated and having to flee the castle with her dying sister she spends a year moving around with her ill sister while also gaining more strength and becoming a fully-fledged High Priestess of the Old Religion. 
In an attempt to take the castle again she has to kill her sister. Something that caused her great distress as Morgana believed Morgause was the only person who understood and loved her. This event causes great suffering to all, it’s also when Morgana adds her obsession with Emrys along with her obsessive thoughts over Gwen and Uther. 
During this first period of exile, she recruits Agravaine to be her spy and aid within the court. They seem to be united by a common cause but Morgana doesn’t treat him as equal, adopting the belief she hated so much from Uther, treating others as tools. 
She also accepted a standard of living that is much below that of the ward of the king. Her way of dress and acting also shifts, she’s still cunning and driven but while now being the master of herself she is more erratic and seems to feel just as out of control and obsessed as she was when living a lie. Her affect control, impulse control, regulation and social regulation deteriorated. Fear also returns to being a driving force. (4x01-2)
Morgana succeeds in killing Uther in The Wicked Day (4x03) by cursing a necklace and Agravaine puts it on Uther so that when Arthur uses magic to try and bring back his father from a fatal injury he dies faster. Planning to finally kill her father she also wishes guilt and pain on her brother.
We then see Morgana use both strength and her ability to manipulate to work Queen Annis to try and kill Arthur. Morgana is not against using her history to use another person. However, Annis sees through her when Arthur shows honour and points out that Morgana is much more like Uther than she realises, and in saying this it also refutes the point Morgana tried to make early in the episode that Gorlois was who was her true father. This is true in both the biological sense but also through the fact that Uther spent more time acting as her father and had generally known her own life. This statement also acts as a trigger causing her to show extreme emotions. (4x05)
One of the key lines of dialogue we have to see where Morgana’s mindset is at during this period is 
Morgana: Don’t think I don’t understand loyalty because I’ve got no one left to be loyal to
This is important because it shows that the isolation that started by The Nightmare Begins has enveloped her. Now she is no longer even fighting with or for anyone she has devoted herself to revenge and survival.
We also see the fear that drives Morgana as at the site of Emrys her first reaction is flight. During their battle, we see that they are almost evenly matched in magical power, though Morgana only really gets through due to Merlin not being willing to act decisively still. (4x06)
Morgana's obsession with Emrys becomes almost all-consuming. Morgana gives away the most emotionally significant thing left of her sister to obtain information on Emrys. She tries desperately to find the information torturing a man who spent her childhood helping to take care of her. But a layer of contradictions exists as he also tried to make her doubt her reality and is helping the person destined to prevent her ascension to queen and to kill her. This complex relationship is important here for the emotional repercussions of what seems like a straightforward attempt to extract information. (4x07)
Morgana shows no regard for even the laws of life and death gain in her quest in Lancelot Du Lac (4x09) bringing Lancelot back to life. Morgana does not even to directly finish her quest to take the throne but to ruin her once friend, and closest confidant's chance at happiness. This is driven by an obsession with her past nightmare about Gwen becoming Queen. Though of course, it has the added benefit of breaking her brother's heart. The only show of emotional connection we see in her is the fear underlying her actions and her musings on the emptiness the shade Lancelot has. 
During The Sword and The Stone (4x12-13), we see Morgana take over the castle by using Agravaine for treason. Morgana is not only ruthless in what would be considered warfare but takes initiative to be cruel to the peasants willing to let them starve to gain control. She then tortures Gawain, Elyan and Gaius not only for information but just because she gains pleasure from it. The ability to empathise with those she deemed her enemies is no longer existent, even those who have not directly harmed her. Her depressive states and emotional nubbing is only broken when she can exert control over other people. She is choosing to hurt others for her pleasure. 
This is their first battle when both Morgana and Arthur understand who the other is. Morgana calls him as her “dear brother” as a taunt. We then have this exchange:
King Arthur: What happened to you, Morgana?
King Arthur: I thought we were friends
Morgana: As did I. But alas, we were both wrong.
King Arthur: You can't blame me for my father's sins.
Morgana: It's a little late for that. You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think.
King Arthur: Nor are you.
Morgana: I’m going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon. Not even Emrys can save you now.
We see Arthur is hurt by what happened and truly did love Morgana and doesn’t like having to fight her like this. And Morgana is consumed by the pain of the past to the inability to care for the present. Arthur, however, is not giving her the power of acknowledging her as his sister. He still says “my father”. He compares her to their father and triggers her anger. We see them attempt to fight, Morgana is unable to use her magic due to Merlin and panics. 
She gathers herself, able to make her escape even coming close to killing Gwen. She then almost dies only being revived by Aithusa, who becomes her closest friend from this point on. (4x13)
We then have another time skip of over two years. Two of those years Morgana was being tortured in the pit by The Sarum. This has the effect of taking an already traumatised individual and layering two years of severe chronic trauma on top of it. She has less control of herself as a result of this and loses the little bit of impulse control she had. 
We first see Morgana after this when she is searching for the Diamair to try and learn how to beat Arthur. Morgana can capture and lure Arthur to her by kidnapping his men and using spies. She almost finds what she seeks but the creature itself has no wish to be used by her making her search futile. We also see her not even consider a father being willing to do something dangerous to save his daughter, her own acquired lack of compassion colouring her judgement. 
This is also the re-introduction of Mordred, a character that acts as the turning point in the rest of the narrative. Seeing Mordred shows some of the only real joy we see from Morgana since her sister died years back. She, however, pushes him away due to her display of rage and dysregulation. Mordred stabs her literally in the back. (5x01-2)
One of Morgana's most cruel attacks is used to try and turn Gwen into a weapon by torturing her for days, breaking down her psychological defences leaving her open to manipulation. This leaves her under control of Morgana thinking that Morgana cares for her. While this is mainly a spell able to be broken there is a part that relies on Gwen's psychology of being compassionate so she will be sympathetic to Morgana’s story and trauma. With the long psychological attacks and this play on Gwen's compassion, we see Morana essentially form a trauma bond. She manipulates Gwen’s perceptions and emotions in a way that is very similar to emotional abusers. 
 This act also kills Elyan in Morgana's attempt to harm Arthur (5x06) During this control we see how strongly Morgana used it to make Gwen not only a weapon but also they feel like they are friends again, being lonely might have been part of why he chose this method and less of a direct method like she did with Merlin. (5x07-8) 
Once Arthur is aware of her curse on Gwen he sets out to break the magic but is almost thwarted by the Dochraid who tells Morgana of his plans to save Gwen. This is interesting as the Dochraid is one of the few magic beings who truly side with Morgana betting on her strength of will over Merlin’s. Morgana is then forced to face off against the one thing other than her dragon, Mordred. Mordred puts up a good fight even saving Merlin’s secret. She felt conflicted in harming him and ends up losing to his surprise attack. (5x09)
After her plan with Gwen fails he returns to her full-tilt hunt for Emrys. She hunts the Catha for information causing terror across multiple kingdoms, then excruciatingly tortures him to try and find out. Hunting anyone down who might know these plans however fail because Alator and Finna believed in something larger and were willing to suffer and die. Morgana no longer understands the bigger picture her idea of a world free for magic isn't her leading drive anymore. After this incident, Morgana is seen to have declared all-out war with Camelot. (5x10)
Mordred acts as the last domino to fall into place before the final battle between Morgana and Arthur Pendragon. When Kara is killed and Merlin and Arthur were the drivers behind her execution, Mordred becomes angry enough at the system of Camelot to move to side with someone he saw as dangerous and broken. He gives Morgana the information she needs on Emrys. (5x11)
With Mordred by her side, Morgana makes her final move, forging a sword just to kill Arthur and finalizing the amassment of an army. She clears the way by removing Emrys from the situation, giving her and Mordred a clean shot at Arthur and the army of Camelot. However, she underestimates Merlin and we see her lose much of her Army and Mordred. This causes Morgana despair as she has to bury the last person she loved. One of the few things that could even start to pierce her depression is ripped away. 
This loss isn’t enough to stop the endless patterns of a compulsive need to take out revenge on Arthur. 
The final moments of her life she taunts her brother in his death claiming a victory. It’s however short-lived as Merlin kills her with a dragon fire-forged blade right after she claims her immortality. Her pain consumed her, and as the death of her father there is no triumph in hurting her brother as all it does is open her up for her death. (5x12-13)
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transelyan · 4 years
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For the fic prompt, can you do 15?
Tumblr media
prompt: “oh god, you’re just like your dad.”
i changed the wording slightly? but here we go.
“You’re exactly the same, do you realize that? You love to distance yourself, but you are just like your father.”
With a well-placed spell, she slams him backward; there’s a second where he can’t tell if the sickening crack he hears came from the tree he crashed into or his own body. “I am nothing like Uther!” Morgana cries out, the sound pitiful and half-desperate. “He’s a monster!”
“Do you keep track of everyone you kill? I know he didn’t. There were always too many.”
He hates how attuned he still is to her magic. As he rolls to the side he can feel it hissing through the air, only narrowly missing him. Another tree is destroyed. He’s slower in this form, unused to the creaking of his old bones, but she’s sloppy. She is terrified of Emrys, of their destiny, and he can use that terror to his advantage. He has to.
He forces a wall of magic forward, hitting her square in the chest and sending her flying. He tells himself it’s alright. He isn’t grimacing at her cry, and he isn’t acknowledging that that isn’t true. 
When she pushes herself up, one hand is pressed firmly against her side. There is rage in her eyes. She is determined and deranged, and Merlin's heart aches.
“I'm fighting for magic! He killed our people, destroyed our history! You know you should be fighting for me!”
Merlin knows a lot of things. He knows she loved the sound of the forest in the mornings. He knows she liked to braid her hair after baths, but she loved it even more when he did it for her. He knows how brightly she had grinned when he tentatively pressed his lips against her own.
But he isn’t an idiot.
He knows she would kill Arthur and Gwen immediately if given the chance, and she would do so with glee. He knows they all played a part in twisting her into the woman who stands before him, stained and hurt and beaten. He knows of good and evil, of destiny, and she does as well, but she is scared of him, and she will do whatever she must to kill Emrys. He is well-aware that she isn’t the Morgana he knew, the one he loved. 
Knowing doesn’t stop the aching, though.
“I fight for Arthur. I fight for Albion. You have already shown that the minute you gain any power, you will abuse it. You will slaughter the people of Camelot, just as your father did!”
He registers the smell of lightning as he raises his arms. Morgana stands across from him, so broken, so defiant. For a moment, he sees Nimueh. His clouds flock to them and reach for her, another victim of Uther’s, another enemy of Merlin’s. Someone who, in another life, he could have happily known.
The clouds come for them now. Morgana looks up, horror dawning on her face as she sees them, feels Emrys’ storm brewing around them. She doesn’t move. 
In another life, Morgana meets the same end as Nimueh, because Merlin is kind. This is not that life.
As the clouds dissipate, a dizzying wave of power leaves him. Instinctively, it seeks her out, and it finds her, receiving a pained cry as she falls to her knees, half-paralyzed. 
He walks toward her, slowly. “The world has twisted your grief into something horrid.” She bares her teeth at him. “This isn’t holy. This isn’t righteous.”
“You’re foolish and arrogant. You know nothing.”
He knows what he set out to do.
“You had a life in Camelot. You had a family.”
“I had a prison, and people who left me to rot the minute they saw my abilities. There is no place for magic, no home for us in Camelot until Arthur is dead.”
“He loved you! They all loved you!” Even as the sight of him hurts her, he is thankful for this form. It hides the way his true voice would waver, would crack. 
I loved you.
It’s too much for him, seeing her, like this. She’s warped beyond his recognition, and yet he aches. He needs to calm himself before he does something drastic.
“I’m going to eat your tongue,” she sneers. “I’m going to tear you apart and make sure you live through it. I’m going to win, you horrible old bastard.”
That should make it easier on him, shouldn’t it? He knows what he set out to do. He already has the spell to do it, something quiet but efficient, something so simple that would put a stop to all the fighting. This is how every story ends, with good prevailing, the hero defeating the villain. Arthur unites Albion, magic returns, Emrys kills Morgana.
But Merlin isn’t Emrys. He still has time. Moving closer, he whispers something softer, a spell that has her slumping forward into his waiting arms, sleeping but still painfully alive.
The story has to end one day. There is too much blood between the two of them for it to go on; it can never be anything other than exhaustingly cruel. Maybe that’s what he is, to allow her to live, to allow it to continue.
As he carries her limp body to her hovel, his figure starts to change. The strength returns to his arms; the youth returns to his face. If she saw him like this, if she recognized him, would she hesitate? Would apprehension flicker in her eye? If only for a moment, would she grieve for him in the way he constantly does for her?
Is he so desperate as to believe that would ever be enough?
One day, he will kill her, and he will hate her, and he will be the hero, and the story will end. He presses a kiss to her forehead, chaste and forgettable, and knows that it isn’t that day.
He closes the door gently behind him and hopes she sleeps well.
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july-19th-club · 4 years
Text
honestly the biggest problem with an intensive merlin rewatch is that it makes me want to do an intensive merlin rewrite too and i have ideas including but not limited to: 
the season 2 “he knows” plot, which alters the entire dynamic and at the very end of the season i set the reset button on “he knows” to “he doesn’t know” but the loss of that is for a narratively significant reason so that we have both the satisfaction of knowing what it would be like If He Had Known(TM) and also the inevitability of the This Will All Go Wrong Someday energy that makes it aurthuriana
the "what do we gain from killing elyan? nothing, so we won’t do that” plot, featuring The Sacrificial Leon(TM) because i love leon but i love siblings and not taking the easy way out more
the Perce/El/Gwaine plot, because men get what? you know.
the “Arthur/Merlin/Gwen see what those three guys are doing and it gives them a very bright idea” plot, because this is a show ripe for trio potential and who am i to waste it? only cowards do that
the “What Happens In Avalon Stays In Avalon (unless we say oh, alright, just this once)” plot, in which Freya and Lance become good buds and are therefore instrumental in the most ambitious plotline:
the “Arthur Just Fucking Comes Back” plotline in which i adjust every postcanon assumption you can make about the show to several ends:
Arthur dies but when he gets to the undying lands a couple old friends who are already there are like “ohhhh bud you got the ol’ boat funeral bud? oh that’s rough bud but good news: we found a legal loophole in the phrase ‘hour of greatest need’ and we aim to exploit it are you ready bud?’ and then they rules-lawyer an ancient prophecy into letting him resurrect like a thousand years early
(as for them? they’re fairly sure they’ll see the all old crowd here again someday, and what’s fifty years between friends?)
the catch is that in order for the golden age that Arthur helped to bring about to continue, he cannot preside over it
that’s Gwen’s job
she rules fairly and well, fixing the sins of the Pendragons and ushering in an era of magic and prosperity, for many years
every once in a while, about a fortnight or two, she and one or two loyal knights ride out to a village some distance away
there’s a cottage there, and a garden. those who know a little, but not everything, about why she goes there know that her magician keeps the place up, and when he is not at court he is baking bread and hoeing beans in the countryside. only she and he and a few loyal knights know that a man who was once a king also lives there, and that he is (slowly, poorly, and determinedly) learning to knit.
oh i know you were anxious don’t worry. you didn’t think i’d forget to let gwaine live in this one? i’m not a monster
pssh he’s fine
and while the table may be broken, they are all still family, and they live that way until the end of their days
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Hi 😄 I've been reading fanfic from the same 2 fandoms my whole life, but I've been thinking of getting into Marvel or Merlin fanfic, any recs to share? And if not (or in addition if you like), tell me something about your favourite thing? 😊
Hi thanks for the ask! What 2 fandoms if you dont mind me asking?
So for Marvel I mainly read stony fanfics and I would recommend on starting out with fics based in 2012.
But here are some of my favorites:
Some Things Shouldn't Be a Chore  by  scifigrl47 (tbh anything by scifigrl47 is great)               
Summary:  Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously.  Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound.  The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick.And some things shouldn't be a chore.
This is a great series for overall Avenergs family feels as well. I especially love part 3!
If We Never Got This Second Chance    by Pookaseraph                    
 Summary:  When Tony and Steve’s son from the future, Jake Jensen, arrives at Avenger’s Tower, the two of them are forced to confront some hard truths: Tony that he might not actually become a horrible father, and Steve that he might not be able to set aside his discomfort with sharing a child with another man. When they both get a second chance at a first try at fatherhood, it’s up to the two of them to learn from their own future's past.
I'm a sucker for a kid!Fic so this one was great.
Love among the Hydrothermal Vents   by  DevilDoll                     
Summary: In which Namor has a thing for Steve, an octopus has a thing for Tony, and Steve and Tony eventually have a thing for each other.
This one uses characters that arent in the MCU but it's still easier to follow along with if you dont know these characters. It's one of my favs ❤. I would also check out Semaphore by DevilDoll as well, it's a great starter fic.
Other then that you can always check out my Stony fic tag on my tumblr for fics I recommend as I read them!
Now for Merlin! I love merthur so here are my recs for that!
 A Warlock's Worth   by ella_bane
Summary: When a visiting prince sets his sights on Merlin, Arthur is not amused. A story of love, loyalty, and secrets too-long kept.
I'm such a sucker for jealous Arthur.
Stars Above, Stones Below  by  Destina
Summary:    After the disastrous end of his betrothal to Gwen and the regret of his offer to Princess Mithian, Arthur swears off finding a wife until he's ready to wed. When Merlin offers himself to Arthur as bedmate, Arthur suggests they hand-fast in secret for a single year of mutual pleasure without obligation. As their year together unfolds, and secrets and betrayals unravel around them, Arthur and Merlin learn there is no such thing as uncomplicated pleasure. Everything they thought they knew can change in the span of a single year.
Oh this was so great. It soothed the ache that Angst that happend that season brought on.
  Misrule  by thehoyden
  Summary:   "Well," Morgana said, looking pleased, "Maybe Arthur won't actually throw the tourney this year."
I absolutely this fic, it's such a cute oneshot. I think Arthur's and Merlin's characterization is spot on. Plus any fix with Morgana and Gwen dressing up Merlin gets a gold star in my book ^^
As for the most popular Merthir fics, most of those are actually AUs and are great reads as well. I didn't include them here because I figure its great to start out with ones that are in the canon universe. 
And likewise for merthur you can check out my merthur fic tag for more recommendations!
But if your curious the two main ones are:
A Modern Manservant Bu Mamalazzer
The Student Prince  bu  FayJay
As for your other question about favourite thing, that's so difficult Xd! I'm the type of person who has a favourite thing for everything, so I guess it hard to narrow down favourite thing over all, but I'll say thet my absolute favourite thing to do is going to the movie theater. I love love love watching films on the big screen, and I love collecting the stubs of all the movies I've seen over the years ❤
Thanks so much for the ask Anon! You really made my day❤❤
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cupcakezys · 5 years
Text
Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder.
The sequel to Four Days To Fall In Love is here! I’m still in the process of writing this one, so I have no idea how many parts it’s going to be, but I’m making a guess right now and am going to say five. But we’ll see! Please be patient with me. :)
Read the first part in this series here.
Part Two of ??? Previous. Next.
Read on AO3.
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Gwen/Lancelot.
Summary: Gwen had always wanted to meet her soulmate, even if they were a sorcerer. It didn’t matter to her. Until, arriving in Camelot for the first time and standing before the great King Uther himself, she realised just how dangerous it was for someone with magic to live undetected for long. Did she really want to meet her soulmate, only to have them inevitably ripped from her?
Morgana couldn’t figure it out. Her soulmate was meant to be the one to help her, the one she could trust. They were meant to change the world together. So why was the pretty girl on the other end of her heartstring avoiding her?
Yellow.
Gwen couldn’t really remember anything from when she was young. Her earliest memory was of when she was some four summers old. She had been playing with her older brother and one of his friends in one of the fields surrounding Leon's family’s estate. Her mother had been working all day, that she remembered. Her mother was always working.
Leon had come running towards them, and Elyan had grinned as he called out to him. Gwen had laughed and ran for him. Leon was her absolute favourite person, after all. He knelt down as she reached him and picked her up in a tight hug. Gwen laughed and hugged him back, happy to let him carry her back towards her brother.
“Leon!” Elyan called, bowing his head a little as Leon let Gwen down.
“Elyan. Edric.” Leon inclined his head to both of them and placed a hand on Gwen’s shoulder. “Guinevere. I’m afraid you all need to come back inside at once.”
Gwen frowned. No one called her Guinevere, not unless she was in trouble. “What’s happening?”
Leon looked weird, his smile not sitting right on his face, and the look he sent Elyan made worry grow in the pit of her stomach. “Never mind that. Your fathers are looking for you. Edric, Sir Aliser is waiting for you in the stables. Elyan, Guinevere, you’re both to come with me.”
Gwen glanced up at her brother, only to find him staring at Leon intensely. She gulped. No one said anything as Edric waved goodbye and made his was across the field. The instant he was out of earshot Elyan grabbed Leon’s arm. Gwen squeaked and stepped back.
“What’s going on Leon?” He hissed. “Your father never lets you out of your lessons early.”
Leon grabbed his wrist, glanced at Gwen, and sighed. “It’s your mother. Something happened.”
Elyan had ran so fast Gwen didn’t even get the chance to call his name. She was confused. What was wrong with their mama?
She tugged on Leon’s sleeve, gaining his attention. “Leon?”
Leon looked so sad, filled with a sort of guilt she didn’t recognise as such a young child. “Come on.” He leaned down and picked her up, making his way back to the estate.
Gwen struggled. “Someone will see!”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Gwen struggled harder. “But you aren’t allowed to! Mama said!”
“Yeah, well, damn the rules.” Leon had growled, causing Gwen to gasp. “You and Elyan are my friends, and I’m not hiding that just because you’re a servants’ children. Not anymore.”
Gwen worries her lip even as she nodded. “Leon?” He looked at her, and she hesitated for only a moment. “What happened to mama?”
There was that look again, so sad. “She… she’s sick Gwen.”
“Oh.” Gwen said. “Like when I got sick from playing in the snow?”
“Y-yeah. Like that.” Leon shifted her around, his grip almost painful for how tightly he was holding her.
Gwen nodded. “Okay.”
Gwen stayed quiet as Leon carried her through the huge gates at the front of his estate. She stayed quiet as they passed servants and nobles alike, and hid her face when they gaped at the sight of a lords’ son carrying a servants’ daughter. She stayed quiet until they passed the kitchen, and Gwen remembered something her mama had done when she was sick.
She wiggled in Leon’s hold, causing him to stumble and almost stop. “We should make some tea! That’s what mama did when I was sick. It’ll make her feel better.”
Leon made a kind of choking sound. “I’m sure she’d love that Gwen, but you should go see her first.”
Gwen nodded. That made sense, even if she really wanted to make the tea so her mama would feel better now. Leon took off again, up one of the big winding staircases that led to the servant’s quarters. Gwen wasn’t sure how he knew where he was going. She didn’t think he’d ever been in this part of the house. His father never let him, just like his father never let him play when Gwen and Elyan asked him to.
Leon got faster the closer he got to the room Gwen’s family lived in, and Gwen tightened her grip on him. She was scared – what if he dropped her? Elyan dropped her all the time when they were playing, sometimes on purpose, so she knew it hurt. She whimpered slightly, and that got Leon to slow down, at least a little bit.
They stumbled to a stop in front of her family’s room. The door was closed so Gwen couldn’t see what was going on inside. Leon was breathing hard, eyes wide, and Gwen had to tap his cheek a few times before he would look at her. He looked scared, so Gwen slipped out of his grasp and onto the floor.
He gulped as Gwen took his hand. “Come on.”
Leon let her pull him the rest of the way to the door. He stood with her after she had knocked, his hand squeezing hers too tightly. She frowned at him, but then the door opened, and her dad was staring down at her, eyes red-rimmed and sadder than Gwen had ever seen them. She dropped Leon’s hand in an instant and threw herself at her dad.
“Dad?” She whispered, struggling a little as he crushed her against him. “What’s wrong?”
“Gwen?”
Gwen peeked around her dad’s shoulder, grinning at her mama. She was propped up in bed, all pale and grey in a way that Gwen knew meant she was sick. One of the stable boys had looked the same after he fell ill, and she knew she hadn’t looked much better last winter when a day in the snow had left her bedridden for ages. She was smiling as she held a hand out to Gwen, the other already captured by Elyan next to her.
“My sweet girl. Come here.”
Her dad carried her to the bed, and Gwen scrambled across her mama’s legs so she could curl up by her side. Her mama wrapped an arm around her and squeezed her weakly. Gwen hugged her as tight as she could in return.
“Leon told me you were sick.” She said. “Like I was.”
Her mama coughed, but smiled. “Leon was right.”
Her dad sat and took her mama’s free hand as Gwen pushed herself back. “I want to make the special sick tea for you, so you feel better! Leon said it was a good idea, but that I should come see you first, so he carried me all the way here!”
Her dad startled. “He carried you here?”
Gwen nodded happily and turned towards Leon, who was slowly edging himself out the doorway. He looked away at the sudden attention, even as he straightened his back. Gwen didn’t want to move, so she waved at him to come over. He ignored her, staring instead at her dad, and Gwen fought not to pout.
“I promised I’d bring them both back to you quickly.” Was all Leon said, not looking away from her dad.
Gwen glanced between them, confused when her dad simply nodded. “You did. Thank you.”
Leon nodded and left, pulling the door closed behind him. Gwen frowned, but didn’t run after him. Her mama coughed into her pillow.
Her dad immediately stood up and started fussing with the blanket. “Are you comfortable?”
Her mama smiled and weakly slapped his hand away. “I’m fine Tom, stop fussing.”
“But you’re not fine.” Elyan said, surprising them all. “Are you?”
“Elyan-” Her dad started, voice stern.
Her mama stopped him. “No Tom. We cannot lie to them.” She turned to Gwen and drew Elyan up onto the bed so he was hugging her other side. “I’m sorry my sweets, but I am very sick. And-” she paused, coughed weakly, and swallowed. “And the physician doesn’t think I will be getting better.”
Elyan ripped himself out of their mama’s embrace like she had burned him. He had tears dripping down his face, and Gwen didn’t understand why. So what if their mama didn’t get better? They could look after her! Gwen knew how to make the special tea, after all, and their dad had taken care of her when she was sick. They could do the same for their mama.
Elyan hadn’t seemed to know that though, because he was crying and yelling and running from the room before Gwen could tell him. Her dad yelled back at him, and in seconds was gone from the room too. Her mama coughed again, and Gwen let herself be pushed back and sat next to the bed.
“Mama?” She questioned, reaching to go back to the hug. It was nice, especially since she didn’t get to spend much time with her mama most days.
She only shook her head. “No, stay there for a moment Gwen. There’s… there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Gwen frowned, but did as she was told. “Okay.”
Her mama caressed her cheek and smiled. “Oh my sweet girl. I’m so sorry.”
Gwen grasped her hand. “It’s okay, you can’t help being sick mama. That’s what you told me, remember?”
Her mama laughed, only for it to dissolve into a horrible cough. “This is different Gwen. Mama isn’t going to get better like you did.”
“I know!” Gwen grinned, because she did and she had a plan, obviously. “But that’s okay! Dad can take care of you when he’s not working, and I know how to cook and clean like you do. We can look after you.”
Her mama cupped her face and shook her head. “No Gwen.”
Gwen’s grin fell. “No?”
“No.” She laid back into her pillow, hand still cupping Gwen’s cheek. “I’m afraid… mama is going to have to go away soon Gwen.”
Gwen frowned. “Go away? Where?”
“Somewhere very far away. You won’t be able to see me anymore, but I will always look out for you Guinevere. For you and your brother, and your father.”
Gwen shook her head, tears in her eyes. “No! I don’t want you to go away!”
“I don’t have a choice.” Her mama apologised. “I will see you again Gwen. One day, a long time from now, I’ll see you again.”
“I don’t want to see you a long time from now! I want to see you always!” Tears were streaming down her face now, and she held her mama’s hand tightly in her own small fists. “It’s not fair!”
Her mama coughed again, weaker this time. “No, no it’s not.” They were silent for some time, Gwen crying and holding her mama’s hand as tightly as she could while her mama coughed and wheezed on the bed. “Gwen? You must promise me something.”
Gwen sniffled. “What?”
“Promise to look out for your brother and father. You’re family, you’ll need each other.”
Gwen nodded, helpless to do anything else. “I promise.”
Her mama had smiled, and then her dad had opened the door quietly, Elyan in his arms. Her brother was hiding his face in their dad’s neck, and Gwen knew it was because he’d been crying. Gwen whimpered, squeezing her mama’s hand tighter, and her dad was by her side in an instant, his huge hands wrapping around hers and her mama’s. Elyan didn’t move.
Gwen stayed by her mama’s side for the next three days and three nights. Her dad came and went, looking after her mama when he could and working long hours in the forge now that her mama couldn’t do her work around the castle. Elyan helped him, and helped the other servants with chores that their mama used to do, so Gwen only really saw him at night.
On the afternoon of the fourth day, when Gwen was carefully carrying some soup back to her mama from the kitchen, her dad started yelling so loud Gwen heard it all the way down the corridor. She dropped the bowl in surprise, splattering soup everywhere, and ran back to her parents, not even bothering to try and clean up the mess. Her dad was shouting! He might need her help!
She skidded through the open door and scrambled over to the bed. Her mama was laying still, sleeping, like she always seemed to be the past few days. Her dad was bent over the bed, tears in his eyes and her mama’s hand gripped tightly in his.
“Dad?” Gwen called. “What’s wrong?”
He ignored her for a moment, then quietly ordered. “Go find your brother.”
Gwen frowned and took a hesitant step forward. “But-”
“Now Guinevere!” Her dad yelled.
Gwen scrambled to obey, confusion and hurt making the beginnings of tears prickle in her eyes. She ran quickly through the servant’s quarters, calling for her brother as she went. One of the kitchen maids told her he was in the stables and Gwen thanked her before taking off again. She made her way to the stables as quickly as she could, dodging maids and nobles alike.
“Elyan!” She yelled as she burst through the open doors of the stables. “Elyan!”
“Here.” Elyan called, popping up from behind one of the horses. “What do you want Gwen?”
“It’s mama.” She blurted out. “I think somethings wrong. Dad told me to come find you.”
Elyan dropped what he was holding immediately and ran past Gwen, the fear on his face scaring her even more. Gwen huffed and ran after him, only to squeal as he appeared in front of her and grabbed her around the middle. Gwen clung to Elyan tightly as he ran, heart beating fast as they made their way back through the winding hallways of the estate.
“Mama!” Elyan yelled as they burst into their room and skidded to a halt.
Her dad was kneeling by the bed now, her mama’s hand still clutched in his. He looked up at Elyan's call, tears falling down his cheeks. Gwen has never seen him look so sad.
“Dad?” She asked, trying to move around Elyan and into the room.
Her dad held out his free hand to them. “Come here you two.”
Elyan finally moved. He didn’t take his eyes off their mama as he walked, and Gwen frowned when she saw him starting to cry. It scared her, and she felt tears of her own welling up. Her dad scooped her up the moment she was close enough, while Elyan held their mama’s hand with their dad.
“What’s wrong?” Gwen asked, hugging her dads’ neck.
“She’s gone.” Her dad whispered, hoarse and strained.
Gwen’s eyes widened, and she felt the tears start to spill. “No. No, she’s right there!”
She looked at her mama, so still and pale on the bed. She looked like she was sleeping, a good sleep, something she hadn’t had in a long time. She certainly hadn’t gone anywhere.
“No Gwen.” Her dad said. “Her spirit is gone. You remember, she told you she would have to go far away?”
Gwen looked at her mama again. “She’s… gone?”
Elyan sobbed. Gwen turned and buried herself in her dad’s chest, shaking with the force of her tears. A second later she felt Elyan pressed against her side, and then two strong arms wrapped around them both, holding them together as they cried.
///
The next thing Gwen remembers clearly is Leon’s tenth birthday. The whole estate was alive with activity, preparing for the feast Lady Amelia wanted for her son. Every servant was busy with work, rushing through the halls to finish their various chores.
Gwen was no different.
She had been woken early by her dad as he left with Elyan for the forge. One of Lord Caldwell’s horses had thrown a shoe, and her dad was showing Elyan how to make a new one. Gwen had tried to convince him to show her as well, but he had insisted she was too young. Besides, the servants would need her help today, he’d reasoned, and Gwen had reluctantly agreed. The servants were always in need of more help on Leon’s birthday.
That was how she found herself helping the kitchen maids set up the hall for the feast.
“Guinevere!” She looked up from where she was polishing spoons. One of the older servants, Silvia, was beckoning her over. “Come quickly.”
She hopped down from her stool in the corner, carefully putting her spoons down on the little table next to her. She ran across the room, dodging feet and furniture alike as she went. Silvia was already halfway out the room, the sharp click of heels on stone leading Gwen on even when she lost sight of her.
Silvia eventually stopped, and when Gwen caught up to her she was panting. She had just enough time to recognise the laundresses’ room when suddenly linens and towels were piled into her arms.
“Lord Lovel and young Master Leon will be back from their hunt soon, and the young master will be expecting a bath and clean room.” She turned Gwen around, pushing her slightly in the direction of Leon’s chambers. “Since Lady Amelia has been running us all ragged, I haven’t had anyone to spare for the job. Make sure you get it done quickly.”
“Yes Silvia.” Gwen stumbled a little under her load, but shifted it and righted herself.
“Good lass.” Silvia praised. “Come find me when you’re done, I’ve plenty more chores to be done.”
Gwen nodded and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other without dropping anything. Servants got out of her way as she passed, most of them smiling and offering her quick acknowledgment and praise before they went on their way. Gwen couldn’t answer any of them, too focused on not dropping the bundle in her arms.
Down a corridor, up a flight of stairs and a right turn had her arriving at Leon’s chambers.
The door was half open when she got there, so she was able to slip inside easily. The room held a slight chill, the fire left alone for too long, and Gwen knew that was one of the first things she needed to fix. Her dad had taught her how to make fires without burning herself, so Gwen was confident she didn’t need to find someone to help. She set her bundle down on Leon’s bed and shoved a few logs into the fireplace.
It took a few tries, but eventually she got it to light. The room quickly warmed, the fire crackling merrily as Gwen went about stripping Leon’s bed and replacing it with nice, fresh sheets. She was just putting the pillows back into place when Leon walked in, armour dirty and a leaf in his messy hair.
“Leon!” She had grinned and jumped off the bed to run to his side. “How was your hunt?”
Leon grumbled, frowning and pouting as he began taking his armour off. “It was fine.”
Gwen hummed and picked the leaf from his hair, spinning it. “You sure?”
Leon glared at the leaf. “I shot a deer.”
“Really?” Gwen gasped. Leon complained enough that she knew how hard that was.
“Yes.” Leon puffed his chest out a bit, proud. A second later he frowned again. “It didn’t die right away. I was chasing it down when my horse reared.”
Gwen stepped forward, offering her help without needing to be asked. There was a dent in the back of Leon’s armour, small, but big enough to bruise. “You fell?”
Leon tisked. “A rookie mistake. I should have had better control.”
Gwen hummed again, finally freeing Leon of all his armour and putting it off to the side. Elyan would have to fix it later. “Did you find the deer?”
Leon blinked. “Yes. It was dead only a few paces away.”
Gwen shrugged. “Then don’t you think the hunt was a success? Even if you fell, you shot down a deer! You’re always complaining about how hard they are to hit.”
“And you’re always complaining about me killing defenseless animals.” Leon folded his arms. “What’s so different today?”
“You looked like you could use some cheering up.” Gwen confessed. “And deer does taste rather good.”
Leon smiled, letting his arms fall as he sat by the fire. “Thank you Gwen.”
She grinned. “You’re welcome.” She gathered the dirty linens in her arms quickly, then curtsied. Silvia had taught her, because she was expected to know how, and Gwen would admit she was rather proud of how fast she had got the hang of it. “I’ll get someone to bring a bath up for you.”
Leon nodded, practically melting into his chair as Gwen left. She rolled her eyes. What was it with boys and melting into their chairs like they’d forgotten how to sit properly? Her dad always told them to sit up properly, said it would help them with an aching back. Elyan just called him old when he said that, and Gwen would laugh but sit up straighter all the same. Manners were important, after all.
She passed Helga and Kida on her way back to laundresses’ room and asked them to set up a bath for Leon. They nodded and hurried away. Gwen dropped the dirty sheets off with Lidia and went back to Leon to make sure he was alright. She’d have to ask Silvia to take a look at his wounds; Leon would never ask himself.
“Are you decent?” She yelled when she got to Leon’s door.
“As I can be.”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Leon.”
A laugh. “Yes Gwen, I’m fine. The bath isn’t even warm yet.”
Gwen pushed the door open, grinning at Leon before she even saw the cheeky look on his face. “You, Leon Caldwell, are the rudest noble I have ever met.”
Leon laughed again. “I am not! Lair.”
Gwen stuck her tongue at him. She went to the bath, felt the water, and nodded to herself. It was warm enough now. She added some of the sweet smelling potion Silvia had made and swirled it around until her arm was tired and she was sure it was mixed in properly.
“Bath’s ready.” She said.
Leon jumped up from his chair and pulled his tunic off over his head. Gwen turned to leave, only to gasp as she caught sight of Leon’s back.
“Leon!” She scolded as she rushed to examine the bruises. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Leon winced as Gwen prodded one of the smaller bruises on his back. “It’s nothing Gwen. It hardly even hurts.”
Gwen have him a disapproving glare, a mirror of Silvia’s. “That doesn’t matter and you know it. They should be looked at.”
Leon pouted and pulled away. “I didn’t want anyone to worry over a couple of bruises.” Gwen continued to give him the look. Leon broke with a sigh. “Fine! I’ll go find Silvia after the feast tonight.”
“No.” Gwen said, laying out his towel next to his bath. “I will go find her and you’ll let her look at you when you get out of the bath.”
Leon groaned. “Do I have any choice?”
Gwen flashed a grin. “No.” She made her way to the door. “Besides, you have to look your best for your birthday feast.”
She slipped out the door before Leon could say anything else. It didn’t take her long to find Silvia and inform her of Leon’s injuries. The old woman had grumbled and frowned as she immediately made her way towards Leon’s rooms. Gwen giggled, knowing he was going to get a stern talking to and also knowing that he deserved it. He was too much like Elyan sometimes – neither of them liked showing when they were hurt. Some stupid notion that it made them look weak to need care.
The day passed quickly from there. It was all a blur to Gwen, chores upon chores upon chores. Elyan started helping at some point, moving tables and chairs around the hall under Lady Amelia’s close directions. Gwen didn’t envy him. Lady Amelia was a kind but stern woman most of the time, but she could be plain mean when something wasn’t organised to her satisfaction.
Finally, hours later, the preparations were complete, and Gwen and the other servants congratulated each other on a job well done. Her dad appeared, Elyan trailing along behind him, and smiled his proud smile at her. Gwen flushed and let him pick her up, her feet sore from standing all day.
An hour later the hall was full to bursting with everyone on the estate, noble and servant alike. There was a group of musicians in the corner, playing a lively tune as everyone ate. The nobles were at the end of the hall, Leon and his parents at the head of the large table. The servants were left standing, but they had a table of their own laden with food. Gwen had never seen so much food before, at least, not so much food that she was allowed to eat.
It was the best meal she could ever remember having. Elyan sat next to her on the floor as they ate, a plate of venison and vegetables each. Their dad had a plate of his own, standing above them and talking to Silvia and Helga.
Leon caught her eye and grinned. She held up her plate, taking a bite of venison and giving a thumbs up. Leon sat straighter in his chair, a proud grin on his face, and Gwen felt happier than she had in a long time.
///
When Gwen was seven, Elyan found her at their mama’s grave.
She went there only once a year, on the anniversary of their mama’s death. She knew Elyan never visited, and that their dad was here every morning before sunrise. She’d followed him once. He just sat beside her grave and talked about what they’d done yesterday, how Gwen and Elyan were, little things that Gwen hardly ever thought about. She hadn’t followed him again.
She had been sitting under the tree that had grown next to her mama’s grave, picking at the grass there and just thinking. Mostly she was thinking about her mama, trying to catch faded memories that fluttered just outside of her grasp. She would never, however, think of that last day, the confusion and the sadness. It hurt too much.
Today, however, she found her mind wondering. Her memories fell through her fingers faster than usual, murky and unclear, and she didn’t care half as much as she normally would.
Her focus was on the bright yellow string around her wrist. She knew what it was – had known for as long as she could remember – but recently she had found herself thinking about it more and more.
It represented her soulmate, and their connection. That what her dad had told her. The fact that she could see it was unusual. It meant her soulmate was touched by magic. Gwen wasn’t sure what to think about that. Not the fact that her soulmate had magic – Gwen wasn’t scared of magic, couldn’t be, not with her heartstring weaving merrily around her wrist everyday. No, what Gwen wasn’t sure if was if she wanted to meet her soulmate at all.
She knew the law. Anyone with magic was executed, by the King of Camelot himself. And Gwen knew what losing your soulmate did do you. Her dad carried on for her and Elyan, trying to appear normal, but Gwen knew better. He hadn’t smiled, truly smiled, since her mama died, and Gwen knew he wasn’t eating or sleeping properly. She had to remind him to eat most days, force him to more often than not.
Gwen never wanted to feel like that.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
Gwen jumped slightly, looking up at her big brother. She blinked, shocked.
“Elyan?” She asked, not really believing what she was seeing. “What are you doing here?”
Elyan shot a glance at their mama’s grave and swallowed. “I was looking for you.”
Gwen shifted, uncomfortable. “Why?”
“You know why.” Elyan rolled his eyes and sat down. “You shouldn’t listen to them you know. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Gwen sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. “What would you know? You can’t see your heartstring.”
Elyan shrugged. “So? I know you Gwen. You aren’t evil, couldn’t ever be. And that means your soulmate isn’t either.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Gwen mumbled, too quiet to hear.
“What?” Elyan asked.
He was staring at her now, with eyes so much like their mama’s it hurt. “It doesn’t matter whether they’re evil or not. If they anyone finds out they have magic, they’re dead.” Gwen glanced at their mama’s grave. “I don’t… I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to become like dad.”
“Gwen.” Elyan hesitated, then gripped her arms tightly, eyes fierce as he made eye contact. “You are the strongest person I know. Dad wouldn’t be here at all without you, you know that right? And I…” He gulped. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.” His eyes flickered to their mama’s grave. “You wouldn’t… wouldn’t turn into a shell like that.”
Gwen knew better. “Yes I would.”
“Gwen-” Elyan started, but Gwen cut him off.
“No Elyan!” She yelled, standing up and glaring down at him. “You don’t get it. I know you don’t, I know you can’t!”
Elyan stared up at her, eyes wide and a little bit afraid. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I-“ Gwen gulped, her anger leaving as suddenly as it had come. She sank back down. “I overheard you. Yesterday, in the stable.”
Elyan sucked in a sharp breath. “With Edric?”
“Yes.”
Elyan sagged against the tree. “Oh.”
Gwen felt guilty. He’d come out here to make her feel better, and here she was making him feel bad. “I’m sorry.”
Elyan shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter. I was going to tell you.”
She reached over slowly, hesitant but curious, and Elyan held out his wrist with a slight roll of his eyes and an exaggerated huff. “Do you really feel nothing at all?”
“Not even the slightest twinge.”
Gwen tightened her grip on his arm. “You’re sure it means-“
“Yes, Gwen.” Elyan sighed. “I know it doesn’t make sense. I know I shouldn’t be able to tell. I don’t know how to describe it. I just know.” He rubbed his free hand over his chest. “I can feel it.”
Gwen turned her brother’s wrist this way and that, finding exactly what she had expected – nothing. “Are you… okay with that?”
Now, Elyan smiled. “Honestly? It’s a relief. I’ve never really wanted a soulmate.” Here, his face fell. “That’s strange, isn’t it? Not wanting a soulmate? Not even wanting anyone like… that.”
“Maybe.” Gwen admitted, because she had certainly never heard of anyone not having a soulmate, of not even wanting one. “But that’s okay, you know? To be strange, I mean.”
“Is it?”
“Well.” Gwen said, watching her heartstring weave through the sunlight. “If you’re strange, so am I.”
Elyan tilted his head. “How so?”
“Because I don’t want to meet my soulmate.” She said. “Not ever.”
They stayed there for a moment longer, then Gwen stood. The castle maids needed her, and she had spent enough time away. She waved to Elyan as she ran back to the estate, down the hills and through the trees.
Elyan stayed a moment longer, staring at their mama’s grave, as he did late at night sometimes when everyone was asleep. It looked so much different in the daytime. He sighed.
“She’s lying.” He whispered to the wind. “She wants to meet them more than anything. She’s just afraid.”
The wind howled back.
///
Gwen was eight when her dad announced they were moving to Camelot. Leon, at twelve summers old, was to go to Camelot to train as a knight. Leon was ecstatic. Sir Aliser was also sending Edric, even though he was a year too young, and both boys were all but bouncing off the walls. It was the talk of the estate for weeks following Lord Lovel’s announcement.
Elyan, on the other hand, was sulking.
At first he was sulking because he thought he was losing his friends. Gwen knew the three of them often skipped out on their chores, choosing instead to play knights on the hills surrounding the estate. Gwen knew Leon and Edric had taught Elyan how to use a sword – she’d watched some days, when the boys had wanted someone to show off to – and Gwen knew that for all the love her brother had for making swords, he loved wielding them even more.
When their dad told them they’d be moving with Edric and Leon, Gwen thought Elyan would be happy. Instead, to her surprise, the news seemed to make Elyan even more upset. He left the room in a huff, ignoring their dad’s calls. Her dad sighed.
“He’ll come around.” Gwen murmured, staring into her bowl.
Her dad turned back to her. “And you? What do you think of all this?”
Gwen wasn’t sure what to think. There was a part of her that was scared to move, to leave the only home she had ever known. She liked it here, with Silvia and Helga and Kida. More than that, this was where her mama was. Gwen wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave her. She wasn’t sure if her dad would be able to leave her.
On the other hand, Gwen was excited. She’d never gone far from the estate, not in her whole life, and the idea of seeing the great city of Camelot made Gwen’s heart beat fast. Lord Lovel and Lady Amelia often told grand tales of Camelot, and Silvia would tell her all about serving in the castle.
Her dad nodded when she told him how she felt. He understood, he said. Then he left Gwen to her meal.
///
Three weeks later, on the morning they were due to leave, Leon found her as she was staring at her mama’s grave one last time. He had the same look on his face he always did when her mama was brought up, and Gwen was finally old enough to recognise the guilt shinning in her friends’ eyes.
He stared at her mama’s grave, refusing to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Gwen’s eyes widened, surprised. “Whatever for?” Leon still refused to look at her. “Leon?”
“She was sick for a long time.” Leon said, after several too long minutes. “Everyone knew it. Some days she could barely get out of bed.” He clenched his fist. “And even though everyone knew, even when it got really bad, my parents still gave her work. I overheard Silvia once. She said the work was killing her faster than her illness.”
They were silent for a time, Gwen digesting the new information. A blast of wind made her shiver as she found her voice again.
“You know, I don’t really remember her much.” She said, and it was true. In a few years she’d remember even less. “But one thing I do remember is how she hated sitting still.” She turned to Leon, smiled. “You aren’t to blame Leon, and neither are your parents.”
Leon still looked stricken. “But-“
“No.” Gwen said, firm. “You’re too noble for your own good. This isn’t something you need to feel guilty for. My mama died because she was sick, and she worked because she wanted to. Neither of those things are your fault.”
Leon stared at the ground, a weird twist to his lips. Gwen could tell he didn’t really believe her. He could be ridiculously stubborn like that sometimes.
“Come on.” She said, turning around. “They’re waiting for us.”
///
Arriving in Camelot was one of the clearest memories Gwen had, even years later.
The trip itself had been exciting, if a little unremarkable. Leon had insisted she ride in the carriage with him, and he wouldn’t back down, no matter what his father said about the impropriety of allowing a servant to ride with nobility. Gwen kept her head down and allowed Leon to help her into the carriage, shooting a glance at her dad and brother as she went. Her dad smiled faintly, while Elyan screwed up her nose at her. She stuck her tongue out at him in return.
The inside of the carriage was comfortable. The hours passed slowly, and Gwen alternated between staring out the window and chatting with Leon. They stopped for breaks only twice, and by the time they finally reached Camelot, Gwen was itching to get out and stretch her legs and Leon was eagerly bouncing in his seat.
Gwen, despite her desire to get out of the carriage, shrunk further and further back into her seat the closer they got to the castle. By the time the reached the castle proper Gwen was shaking and clutching her seat. Very suddenly she wanted nothing more than to run back home, the promise and excitement of adventure and a new home gone and replaced with dread.
Over the course of their journey, Gwen has noticed something odd. Her heartstring, ever twisting in the air just on the inside of her vision, had started growing taunt. It was unnoticeable at first, but then it squeezed around her wrist, and she had subtly looked at it and seen it stretching in a straight, very obvious not-flowy line ahead of them.
It scared her.
The tugging on her arm only made it worse, and she found she had to battle with herself as the carriage pulled to a stop in front of the great castle of Camelot. She wanted to get out and run. She wanted to never move. She wanted to follow her heartstring and throw her arms around her soulmate and hide them from the world. She wanted to curl up in her dads’ arms and never leave, never risk losing something she didn’t even yet have.
When Leon offered her his hand, she very nearly didn’t take it. She could see, just out of the corner of her eye, how her heartstring bled from its normal sunshine yellow to a deep green, so beautiful and calming it took her breath away. She saw the way it stretched up, up above them, tight around her wrist in a way it had never been before.
Gwen gulped and touched a finger to the flower in her hair; the one her dad had given her on one of their breaks, when Gwen had refused to tell him what was so suddenly wrong. He had smiled as he presented it to her – the prettiest lady of them all – and Gwen drew strength from the soft petals.
She took Leon’s hand and stepped out of the carriage, legs protesting a little after so long sitting down. She kept her head down, eyes purposefully on her feet as she walked over to where her dad and Elyan were standing. She dared not look anywhere else.
There was a horrible feeling in her chest. It felt like her heart and lungs were slowly being squeezed of all life. It took everything she had to stay still, to keep her eyes down, to not follow her heartstring if not with her feet than with her eyes – but she managed. She clenched her fists against the tugging of her heartstring and breathed through the tightness in her chest.
She would not look up. She would not, in fact, do anything that could lead to her to meeting her soulmate. She was determined. She would have nothing to do with her soulmate, whoever they were, not now, not ever.
A glance at her father, at the permanent sadness behind his eyes, and Gwen grew even more resolute.
Never, she promised herself.
-
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thegeminisage · 5 years
Text
i have deep and conflicting thots about the gilli episode (3.11)
they’re long (they’re LONG!!!) so here’s a cut. you’re welcome
good things:
this is the ANTITHESIS to everything i was complaining about last night. this is what i was CRAVING. this show did me so good (and yet, so bad - more on that in a sec)
there was a touch of outside pov here (my weakness) since we got to see who merlin was from gilli’s point of view
and when i say we got to see who merlin was i mean we really for real got to SEE WHO HE WAS oh babey
something gilli said in this episode was that merlin has been pretending so long he forgot who he was and i think similarly he pretends so well that we the audience (me anyway) also kind of forget who he is because we see it SO rarely
but we saw it here! in this episode merlin was SMART?? those aren’t two words i’d normally use in the same sentence without sticking a “is not” between them but he WAS - he cottoned on right away that gilli was using magic, he confronted him immediately and in a way that didn’t invoke hostility (and what a nice little flip, what a TREAT to see someone else freaking out and covering their ass while merlin is keeping his cool), (some of) his normal little jabs at arthur were a tad wryer/slyer on the delivery, and he figured out, ON HIS OWN, how to save both gilli and uther, and used his magic in front of ALL THOSE PEOPLE without getting caught
and speaking of that, merlin being like “he’s braver than me, using magic in front of all those people” and gaisu going “brave or stupid” like... ok, at first my reaction was: come on, merlin uses magic in front of people ALL THE TIME...but when i think about it, my very own self was complaining just yesterday that he was keeping his shit buttoned up way too tightly. and i did notice merlin himself waiting until backs were turned more often, incantating aloud less often...he ACTUALLY HAS gotten less stupid, JUST a smidgen. i didn’t even realize
merlin seemed more grown-up and serious in this episode than he has in the entire series. maybe it’s the fact that he had someone younger and dumber to play off of (and i don’t think gilli was a strong enough character to carry an episode, but maybe it was enough to give us an excuse to develop merlin so much) but he did in fact seem WISE, and he seemed TIRED, which is a thing grownups usually are... the way he talked to the other characters seemed different too - he spoke to the dragon as an equal (last dragon & last dragonlord), not as some dumbass in over his head asking for help (very nice also that he didn’t go to gaius for advice but someone more on “his level”). he gave arthur clear and frank advice on how to go about fighting his dad, he STUCK UP FOR GILLI AGAINST GAIUS (backbone! compassion!) and then STUCK UP FOR HIMSELF against gilli!!!!!
(i like a slightly more serious merlin because while quirky dumbass country hick merlin IS charming and endearing that charm can only carry him so far without more meat involved, especially after some of the terrible things we’ve seen him suffer through and all the experiences he’s had to grow and change)
i have mixed feelings about merlin showing his magic to this particular person at this particular time, but i do also like that he was willing to open up about WHO HE IS if it could potentially save a life. that shows backbone. and it shows integrity. two things i was sorely missing from merlin before now
speaking of merlin’s integrity, we finally got to cover why he keeps saving uther, who he should hate and despise and want dead, which i have been DYING for
merlin and gilli have a sort of professor x/magneto stance about uther, by which i mean one of them argues that they should change things from within the system to court goodwill and avoid violence because acting violently would just make their detractors’ point for them, and the other argues that the system should be destroyed entirely through any means necessary because violence is the only language the oppressor understands
on a rewatch what really stands out to me is merlin chastising gilli at the end by saying “you’re better than that.” it makes me think of season 1 when merlin had the chance to let morgana’s allies assassinate uther and he asks gwen what he should do - gwen, who also has every reason to hate and despise uther, tells merlin that to allow him to die through inaction would be just as bad as murdering him directly, and that that would make merlin as bad uther is
i don’t want to give the people who fucked morgana over so thoroughly too much credit but it makes me wonder if that wasn’t when merlin decided that he was going to be the bigger man
he says it himself in this episode, near tears - it is LONELY, being what he is, and doing what he does. he could kill a man with a thought and he spends all his time mucking stables and polishing armor and when he gets a break from that it’s to save someone’s life without endangering his own. it is dangerous, tireless work for which he believes he will NEVER get any thanks. and what i was so frustrated about before was not understanding WHY - did he care THAT much about arthur’s feelings, that he couldn’t stand to watch arthur lose a father? was he just THAT afraid of uther and what uther would do to him if he found out?
but i get it now - it’s because he CHOOSES to. not to protect arthur or to protect himself but because he wholly believes that he’s playing the long game and he’s on the correct path to seeing a future where what he is is no longer outlawed - god, his FACE when he says “when that day arrives, we WILL be free” 
again not to overcredit the writers bc i DON’T think they were smart enough to do this on purpose but like in my heart he decided all the way back in season 1 that he wasn’t going to take the easy way out and just let uther die because THAT’S NOT WHAT MAGIC IS FOR. he’s stronger than everyone else around him and HE CHOOSES to keep his head down and wait it out because in his OWN WORDS “magic is not meant to bring you glory.” even gilli agrees - when used for personal gain, it is very easy for the power of the magic to corrupt. i thought merlin was weak, to have saved uther’s life so many times - but to resist that kind of temptation and corruption over and over, he’s actually the opposite. he doesn’t try so hard to protect the monarchy because he lacks self-respect or integrity, he protects the monarchy BECAUSE OF his self-respect and integrity. all along, he’s been fighting for a better future too - just in his way, not the way gilli or morgana would
and speaking of morgana...here’s the bad:
i. am. LIVID!!!!!
that merlin would tell this boy he BARELY KNOWS his secret in order to maybe possibly save this kid’s life and NOT TELL MORGANA in her worst hour of need when she most needed a friend
merlin got a whole lot more respect from me today but the fact remains that he’s a LYING LIAR WHO LIES and he has tried to kill morgana two and a half times (the poison, the bump on the head, knocking her off her horse) and as of the end of season 3 also MURDERED HER SISTER THAT IS APPARENTLY ALSO LOWKEY HER GIRLFRIEND (i know)
which really clashes with his whole deal that i just described above, of using his magic for good and not evil purposes, for trying to win over hearts instead of win battles. and it’s funny that it’s ONLY morgana that merlin acts out of character for...i think it’s because! and this is a crazy concept! the writers hate morgana!
morgana in season 1 and most of season 2 was a kind and loving person. she was a true ally to gwen and often used her status as the king’s ward to stand up for gwen when gwen was in trouble. the first time she tried to have uther killed it was because of what happened to gwen’s father. she was more than capable of feeling love and knowing right from wrong and doing what she believed was right at any cost as evidenced by her helping to sneak the little druid kid out of the castle at risk to herself
morgana in season 3 does nothing but smirk evilly. and while it’s a good look on her and she’s MORE than valid in wanting to fuck up merlin and uther and maybe even arthur too from a certain viewpoint her aggression against gwen is ENTIRELY unwarranted
even trying my BEST to be sympathetic towards her and remember what she’s gone through and that her bad characterization is the fault of the writers and not morgana herself it is VERY hard not to hate her when you see her delighting in gwen’s misery and watching her PANIC about gwen’s future as the queen was FAR more satisfying than it should have been because i was then delighting in MORGANA’S misery and that is NOT a feeling im comfy with
in fact! im furious! the fact that this gilli kid got a more sympathetic portrayal than morgana ever will makes me SEE RED!!! imagine if the professor x/magneto vibe had been played out with merlin and morgana throughout the entirety of season 3! imagine morgana still had feelings other than ~edgy evulz~ and kept trying to kill uther BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IT WAS RIGHT but had no quarrel with people like gwen who had always loved her! imagine her being conflicted when there was every chance that gwen would die during the takeover! imagine how her feelings could have become even more complicated when she found out she had living family - a father and brother, one of whom she is plotting to kill! imagine her NOT wanting harm to come to gwen or arthur and trying to persuade them to her side with good yet flawed arguments! imagine uther having to face the fact that the daughter he dotes on is also the thing he hates! people talk about arthur’s conflict if he realizes merlin is magic, but he’s known merlin a lot less time than he’s known morgana and merlin’s not his sister, imagine arthur had to deal with that conflict of interests! we could have HAD IT ALL in season 3 and instead season 3 MOSTLY SUCKS
what if morgana had remembered how fucked up arthur was about learning about the true circumstances of his birth? what if she had persuaded him that uther’s stance against magic was wrong? what if she knew merlin had magic but she hated him so she blackmailed him with it? he could have told her and then spent the ENTIRETY of season 3 shitting himself about it and it would have TOTALLY JUSTIFIED how shifty he got later after gaius taught him how to lie.what if he had SEEN what choosing to hurt other people had wrought in morgana and truly felt remorse and it informed his character for the rest of the show and that’s why he’s always choosing the moral high ground! there were SO MANY possibilities that could have opened up by having morgana be even just a little bit 3-dimensional!!!
which brings me to my next complaint: as good as this episode was, as much as i loved it, as glad as i am to finally understand merlin or at the very least have an interpretation of him i’m happy with, i should not have had to wait ALL SEASON to get there. i know what kind of show this is but they could have slipped some of this stuff in WAY EARLIER so i didn’t have to spent the entirety of season 3 and quite a lot of season 2 thinking merlin was just some spineless fuckup
also i will say it again, gilli was NOT strong enough to have carried this episode. the work on merlin’s character was INCREDIBLE and it was fun enough to see gilli mirror who he was in early season 1 but imagine how much better it could have been if he’d gotten to play off of someone like morgana - gilli’s a one-off character, and he has to tell us about his history and struggles, but morgana’s struggle is something we’ve witnessed firsthand. when she makes her own arguments about how hard it is to be magic under uther’s rule it comes from a place of deep pain that could have and should have resonated with merlin just as deeply as gilli’s.
morgana works MUCH better as a foil to merlin because all the way back in season 1 when they were both angry on gwen’s behalf and both wanted uther to pay for what he’d done so that no more innocent people would die it was MORGANA who chose the magneto route and merlin who decided to go professor x. they had the potential to make something REALLY COOL out of that AND THEY DIDN’T and what makes me so mad about this episode is that the sheer CONCEPT of this was good enough to have carried the entire season and yet they crammed it into a single 45-minute block
here end my thots i guess, in conclusion morgana deserved better
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camelotremix · 5 years
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Camelot Remix Reveals 2019
The Camelot Remix 2019 Reveals are finally here! Thank you again to all our wonderful participants, we have had some fantasic remixes and we hope to see you all again next year! Your ever-loving mods, Kitty, Fifty and Wasp ❤️ Fic: Emrys_MK wrote How Merlin Put the Extra Back in Arthur’s Ordinary for Fifty-Fifty (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 3.6k) Summary: Arthur often dreams of a familiar yet faceless someone from another time and place long ago past. He knows this person was important to him, but try as he may, this elusive dream-dweller remains a mystery… that is until a chance meeting in the heart of 2019 London brings the past and present together and turns an ordinary day extraordinary. Fic: Clotpolesonly wrote Speccy Is The New Sexy for LFB72 (Merlin/Arthur – Gen – 1.6k) Summary: Merlin gets new glasses. Apparently he looks like a whole new person, because his boyfriend doesn't even recognize him! Or maybe it's just that Arthur is a bit thick sometimes. Fic: Digthewriter wrote I don't know (how to play the game of love) for EachPeachPearPlum (Merlin/Arthur – Mild R – 1.3k) Summary: Arthur has strange dreams. Fic: Arthur_Pendragon wrote Date the Flooze (The Cool Cool Cool Cool Remix) for Rou (Merlin/Arthur – T – 5.5k) Summary: Detective Merlin Emrys, Pan-Albion PD 99th Precinct (Camelot), rues the day he cravenly swept his feelings for his captain, Arthur Pendragon Million-Abbreviations-and-Medals, under the rug. Now he’s struggling to tell Arthur how he really feels, hoping against hope that Arthur hasn’t slipped out of his grasp already. Art: ViridianJane created Belonging for Aeris444 (Merlin/Gwaine – G – Art) Summary: Gwaine pretends to think that it's Camelot he considers home; it's only in the middle of the night that he might admit that home isn't necessarily a place. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote The Very Cunning and Brilliant Plan of Uther Pendragon, CBE (The Invitation Remix) for Aranei (Merlin/Arthur – PG13 – 7k) Summary: Uther Pendragon [CBE] does not approve of his son's choice of girlfriend. He will not stand for this! Fic: Wyvern wrote A Crown of Stars (the King of Nothing Remix) for Destroyerofhearts (Merlin/Arthur – M – 3.7k) Summary: Morgana has taken over Camelot, and Arthur, Merlin and the others barely managed to escape and are now on the run. However, she’s looking for them and Arthur must consider something he’s never had to consider before. Fic: Linorien wrote Escape from Earth for Lyss2011 (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.6k) Summary: In his second life, Arthur strives to continue what Merlin started. Anything to feel closer to his best friend. Along the way, he finds a deeper understanding of math, life, and the universe. Fic: EachPeachPearPlum wrote Happy Hour (the Open to Misinterpretation Remix) for Polomonkey (Gen – G – 1.9k) Summary: For the most part, Mordred's workplace isn't that bad. The workload isn't too heavy, his boss treats him well, and his colleagues do their best to be understanding when he's having a bad day. Apart from Merlin, that is. Merlin hates him, and Mordred has absolutely no idea why. Art/Fic: LFB72 drew and wrote Our scars will reveal the truth (The Heal Remix) for Arthur_Pendragon (Merlin/Arthur – T – 2.5k) Summary: To kiss a hurt away. Arthur is watching Merlin sleep after the Questing Beast incident. He sees the scar left by Nimueh and bends down to take a closer look, but Merlin wakes up and Arthur has to explain what he was doing. Fic: Lyss2011 wrote Tumbled From My Lips (The Easy Like Sunday Morning Remix) for Slantedknitting (Merlin/Arthur – T – 14.5k) Summary: Arthur had allowed himself to forget that they weren't actually dating, building the lie around them like the oversized jumpers Merlin always wore, soft and comforting, as they cuddled up on the couch. Luckily, before his mouth could suggest something even more romantic-sounding, like kissing, Mordred texted him about their next date. Or, Arthur's (failed) attempt to get over Merlin. Fic: Mrs_Leary (harlequin/julie) wrote The End of All Things for Amphigoury (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.9k) Summary: Arthur has brought the Ring to Mount Doom, but declares that he cannot destroy it. What can Merlin do to help fulfil the Quest they've shared? Fic: Blacktail_chorus wrote Heat Rises (the Silver Lining remix) for AJSRandom (Merlin/Morgana – G – 1.9k) Summary: Merlin tries to teach Morgana magic. Morgana has her own ideas. Fic: Ingberry wrote Something Good (The Bad Remix) for Little_Dhampir (Merlin/Arthur – M – 4k) Summary: After being stood up for a blind date at his favourite restaurant, Arthur went clubbing only to end up with a terrible one night stand. It was a day that should be removed from the very fabric of the universe. Art: Altocello created Guttered (The Flickering Flames remix) for Emrys_MK (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: In which Arthur, worried about Merlin, finds him sitting alone in near darkness. Fic: Malu_3 (Grainne) wrote In Too Deep (The 'Mole' Canon-Era AU Remix) for Elveatas (Ricecake) (Gwen/Morgana – R – 4.7k) Summary: She sees the way he looks at Gwen. Still. And while she cannot fault Sir Lancelot for his excellent taste, she hasn't survived this long by being overly trusting. He's hiding something, she can tell, and while the rest of Camelot seems content to lick his boots, she is determined to expose him. Expose his secrets, that is. Fic: Destroyerofhearts wrote The Selkie's Skin for Blacktail_Chorus (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.14k) Summary: Arthur was 14 when his father brought home a grand trophy from his campaign out at sea. Fic: Slantedknitting wrote We Are the Muses for Tari_Sue (Merlin/Arthur – M – 6.2k) Summary: Morgana convinces Arthur to do some nude modelling for her art class. Merlin is in the art class. They both get distracted. Fic: Aranei wrote I have sinned for 8verity8 (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 1.5k) Summary: Some of us are born to sin, others are lead to it. Art: Eisbaerfussel created Bath Among The Stars for VerdantMoth (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: This image was burned into Merlin's teenage head when he stumbled into the closed swimming hall at night. Fic: Penndragon27 wrote In the Shadows, In the Light (One of Many Faces Remix) for ViridianJane (Merlin/Freya – G – 592) Summary: Freya has watched Merlin for so long... she just wants him to see her too. Fic: Little_Dhampir wrote This Scheduled Sex Thing for Moonflower999 (Merlin/Arthur – NC-17 – 2.5k) Summary: Merlin and Arthur give this scheduled sex thing a chance. Art: Rou created Honeymoon Impressions (A Selfie Remix) for Clea2011 (Merlin/Arthur – T – Art) Summary: Turns out they'd have a few more photos to show to Hunith when they got home. Fic: AJSRandom wrote Gwaine’s Day Out (The A Little Help Here Remix) for Clotpolesonly (Gen – G – 3k) Summary: When Gwaine volunteers to accompany Merlin on an herb-picking trip, he has no idea what’s in store. Art: Amphigoury created Of All The Gin Joints! (Remix It Again, Sam) for Digthewriter (Merlin/Arthur – G – Art) Summary: "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine!" Arthur's old flame has arrived at Casablanca. Fic: Clea2011 wrote Love Potion Number Nine (The Shy Remix) for Eisbaerfussel (Merlin/Arthur – T – 11.3k) Summary: Merlin had hoped that after Princess Vivien’s visit he wouldn’t see a love potion again for a long, long time. But Princess Vivien, as it turned out, was only the start of the problem. Fic: Aeris444 wrote Merlin's birthday (Merlin's day off Remix) for Penndragon27 (Merlin/Arthur – PG – 10.1k) Summary: It's Merlin's birthday and it looks like it will be another busy day at work. Fic: Moonflower999 wrote Paradise Found (The Heart That Made A Family Remix) for Mrs_Leary (Gaius/Geoffrey – T – 4.4k) Summary: On Boxing Day Geoffrey asked Gaius, his life partner of many years to marry him. Now it's all coming together! Happy Pride! Fic: 8verity8 wrote Same, Same, But Different (Whatever We Are, We Are The Same Remix) for Wyvern (Merlin/Arthur – M – 7.7k) Summary: Merlin has an older (half) brother Arthur, from his Dad's first marriage, but to be honest Merlin has always felt like more of an only child than anything. Arthur seems cool enough from what little he remembers, but hell, Arthur left for London when Merlin was like 6 and he only saw Arthur at important family functions. Then he left for the states and for years Merlin didn't even see him at all... It's not like they have a brotherly connection or anything. Or Merlin's modern coming of age story that ends up taking a wild left turn when Merlin's absent (hot as fuck!) half-brother Arthur returns. Art:  LFB72 created The Holly King and The Oak King (The Alban Arthan and Alban Helfin Remix) for Altocello (Merlin/Arthur – T – Art) Summary: The Holly King and the Oak King are the two halves that make up the circle of the year. Only one can rule thus the contest for supremacy continuously plays out as the seasons turn. Merlin is the Holly King; he reigns during the darkest times, when the light wanes and there’s a chill in the air. The height of his power is during midwinter solstice but as the days stretch, Merlin gradually becomes weaker. At the Spring Equinox he must fight to maintain his Kingdom from Arthur, The Oak King, Merlin’s summer counterpart and adversary. The fight is fierce but as the hours pass, the balance tips in Arthur’s favour and The Oak King finally triumphs. Arthur takes control and the days grow long and warm, he gains strength, reaching his peak by Midsummer solstice. As the nights draw in, Arthur’s hold slips and by the Autumn Equinox Merlin’s wounds have healed and he is ready to do battle where it's his turn to conquer. Despite being adversaries, without one, the other would no longer be and one cannot truly hate what makes him whole. Nor can one be with the enemy he has learned to love. It is lonely being a king, except for the equinox. The equinox is when they can be together, equals for a short time until the perpetual cycle begins again. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote Recurring Dream (The Waking Dream Remix) for Linorien (Merlin/Arthur – G – 1.5k) Summary: Three boys on holiday in Wales stumble upon an old ruined castle. Fic: Elveatas wrote All I Want (The Make My Wish Come True Remix) for Geeklover (Merlin/Arthur – M – 3.9k) Summary: It doesn’t happen often that Arthur takes Merlin to bed, but it’s happened enough times that it’s become a bad habit. And it's a habit that Merlin is finally trying to break. Fic: Polomonkey wrote Take Care (The Dart to the Heart Remix) for Malu_3 (Arthur/Gwaine – PG – 2.5k) Summary: Arthur and Gwaine take care of Merlin whilst in Jarl's captivity. Merlin only wishes they would take care of each other too. Fic: Tari_Sue wrote Not Completely Useless (The [hopefully] Not Totally Horrible Remix) for Kitty_Fic (Merlin/Arthur – M – 681) Summary: Arthur’s new manservant just might have his uses after all. Fic: Fifty-Fifty wrote It Meant Something (The "It Didn’t Mean Anything" Remix) for Ingberry (Merlin/Arthur – M – 24.7k) Summary: Merlin only has to do two things; one, don't let Arthur know about the magic, and two, don't let Arthur find out about the massive inappropriate crush he has on him. Oh yes, and also find out how to break the spell he accidentally cast on them leaving them stuck together 24/7, which makes the first two things so much harder to stick to.
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seawolvesanddragons · 6 years
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Merlin Short - The Youtuber AU
Alright, to start with, Gwaine [Username: AngrIrishman] mostly does prank videos; his is primarily a comedy channel. It starts off as in the moment pranks (probably while he is uni). As he gains more followers and grows more confident he starts doing a few sketches, usually the same characters in different scenarios (the series “drunk Irishman confused by British things is the number one favourite.) After a semester or two he drops out of uni, deciding it isn’t for him and he was only following family pressure, and he wants to do follow this youtube idea. He mostly pranks friends and family, all harmless stuff. After he meets Merlin he does a good deal of his pranks on him, but Elyan and Percival show up the mst as his victims (or partners in crime) since he’s lived with them both. He’s always willing to help out his friends with their videos, and often appears in Percival’s gaming competitions. Occasionally, for when Gwaine wants to address something serious or do a straight video of something bothering him, he has a series of “what’s aleing me today” where he talks about the serious stuff under the guise of drinking. His is one of the bigger youtube stars and his fame only skyrockets after he meets the others.  Percival [AllTankedUp] started in youtube as just responding to some of the more ridiculous challenges (planking, cinnamon challenge, parkour, etc) but ended up accidentally setting a ton of records. He started getting a lot of followers suggesting more challenges for him to do. After a year or two he began  
uploading video game run throughs after he purchased a video game and streamed playing it, not expecting anything big to come of it. The first video ending up trending for a few hours and requests came pouring in. However his biggest project, and the one he is most proud of and best known for, comes along in year three, after he met Elyan. They began recreating live action versions of video games, giant board games, etc. The internet fucking loses it over these videos. Most of them are endearingly low budget - the first is a live action super mario, where they had set up mushrooms and platforms in the park and a plushie princess peach is the prize. Elyan did MATH for this, guys.  Percival has to do exactly what Elyan tells him to do when Elyan holds the “controller” and vice versa. The video is ten minutes long and mostly consists of them falling over. Percy barely wins in the end, but he holds the plushie up all proud, looking adorable. By the next day they have over a hundred subscribers asking for more. Some of the live actions are HUGE events, brining in all of Percy’s friends and acquaintances and even family members but that’s usually only once a year. Typically, it’s no more than Percy, Elyan, and Gwaine or Leon or Merlin. Elyan helps out a lot with most of the recreations, but Percival came up with the idea and is the driving force behind it. He also has a side channel for workout videos after 2 1/2 years of requests, where he posts irregular updates. Elyan [Elyuminati] gets pulled into youtube by Gwen, and starts out as the occasional guest star in her vlogs, before submitting the odd vlog video himself, usually just him ranting about whatever in his life is annoying him at the time. It was meant to just be a way to let off steam, he didn’t expect anyone to watch them, but Elyan has a certain kind of odd charm and humor that attracts a humble but loyal following. During his gap year he travels around Europe and posts a lot of video diaries as a way of keeping in touch with Gwen, and it steadily improves over time. He starts doing “day in the life of” or “creepy ghost tour” or just sharing crazy stories about his travels. Elyan’s not a bad artist, so he’ll sometimes recreate brief sketches of the crazy stuff that happened to him while narrating what is going on. After his gap year (which almost turned into two) he returned to the UK and ended up rooming with Percy, who he knew from youtube, and started getting a degree in maths. His channel with Percy to do live action games took off, and he ended up being offered a job at a radio station after a year or so. The radio felt he had a personality that worked over radio just as well as camera. His radio show has a little bit of everything in it: acting as a voice of the millennial people, sharing whatever crazy thing happened to him that week, traveling and reviewing places and (his latest obsessions) weird news stories and conspiracies. (Leon and Gwaine could be blamed for the last one.) He doesn’t post as much except for the game videos or guest starring in others, since’s he’s busy with his radio show, but he will occasionally do a vlog session now and again, usually on his theories on conspiracies, game of thrones, and why the cosmos hates him enough to stick him with Gwaine. Leon [GiantRedGnomes], unlike Percy and Elyan, actually means to start a youtube channel. He starts off with gaming videos, including a dramatic series of the SIMS that everyone gets a little too invested in. However Leon is very conscious of the good that youtube can do, and so he also starts doing more educational style videos with fun animation. His main topics are history (but the fun kind, he focuses a lot on the weird parts of European history that no one ever talks about) space and alien life, etc. He also reviews a lot of popular tv shows and movies and shares his thoughts, opinions, and predictions for them as well as how the nerdier stuff checks out. Being the gentleman that he is, he typically tries to post both spoiler and non spoiler versions. He and Merlin start a Dnd series where they do short campaigns with different members of their friend group and other willing youtube stars. Lancelot [Lancephew], like Leon, does youtube “for the greater good.” He started youtube in high school as a project to bring “truly great people” into the spotlight by interviewing the people in his town about amazing things they had done in their lives, and he still tries to post videos like that whenever he can. Half of his videos are him taking news stories, politics, economic theories, etc and explaining it in layman’s terms for the average viewer. He shares his own opinions in the video as well. During college Lancelot started adding a musical element to his interview stories, writing his own songs to bring into the background. This branched out into him writing instrumental music, which he often shares on youtube and itunes. Lancelot is currently doing a YouTube Red project in aide of a charity that is about small town civilians having to deal with a zombie dystopia in a realistic manner - asking questions such as “do we still have to pay for data?” “Can someone take my braces off.”) Also, he’s dating Gwen and they do really cute “ask us questions” and dating game videos that the internet loves. There are also several videos of his dog doing crazy things he manages to catch on film. Gwen [GwenSmash] is mostly a youtube vlogger, and she shares a little bit of everything. Her day to day life, sped up streams of the cosplay outfits she makes the group, sims and gaming videos, ask/advice videos, review videos, and stories in a series called “Growing up Gwen” where she shares moments of her childhood/teenage years having to deal with being the only girl in a household of guys, such as buying a bra, trying to find a video game character that is a female without exposed breasts, etc. After she gets to know all the guys better, she will share moments of being one of the few girls among many guys, and has no shame in calling them out. Half of her twitter is photos of the guys holding up a sign saying “I said/made *insert sexist remark here*.” She doesn’t really try to limit herself to one brand and just does all kinds of videos. She and Morgana are often work together/guest star in each other’s videos as flatmates and best friends.   Morgana [ExplodingSparkles] got into youtube during college at Gwen’s encouragement. She liked to create her own music mashups and Gwen starting encouraging her to share them on youtube. Nowadays, she and Lance will team up occasionally to do music together, and she has written a few of her own songs, all released on youtube/itunes. A LOT of her video vlogs are feminist, LGBTQA, and wealth inequality rants, typically following her having to talk to Uther. She as a popular series called “Ask Morgana” where she answers questions her subscribers ask her. The beginning/middle of her channel (when it was getting big) has a lot of anger and rant videos about everything wrong with the world. Morgana eventually grew out of her angry stage, and began discussing the issues from a healthier pov, such as how you can be an ally, etc. She also started doing a lot more comedy sketches, all written and directed by herself. Some of them just have her in it as multiple people, others have her and Gwen or other guest stars. Some of them are just sketches about funny moments in her life, but most are original content, such as “Smart Shakespeare in Five Minutes” where she acts out a sketch of Shakespeare’s plays where everything goes very differently, usually based on one character making a smarter decision. Arthur [KingCamelot] started doing youtube in his final year of boarding school, and for the first year or so he and Morgana both tried to hide the fact that they were doing youtube from each other, until one day Morgana stumbled across his channel after it was recommended after one of Gwen’s videos. This was over summer break and the result was her barging in during one of his vlogs, and the entire (loud and hilarious) conversation was caught on film. Arthur later uploaded it to youtube, and neither will admit it is one of their favourite videos. Arthur kept it in a vlog style during uni, sharing his thoughts on current events, challenge videos, his favourite books and tv shows, his daily life and his struggle with uni/the business degree his father wanted him to get. He ended up switching to film editing sophomore year after Morgana, Leon and other youtuber friends supported his ideas. While it made things rockier with his father, Arthur was much happier. Videos became much more frequently after that, and Arthur began to guest star in his friends videos as well. Arthur became a big name on youtube almost instantly, largely because of his good lucks and his notoriety as the son of a famous parliament member, but remained a big name through his own merit. About midway through his time at uni Arthur began to post videos about insightful topics about things that suggested he was starting to see the world a bit differently. After he graduated about 4 years ago, it started to turn into full blown advocacy and outreach videos raising awareness for social change. Of course, Arthur didn’t get to that point by himself. Enter Merlin, stage right. Merlin [MerlinTrixx] started youtube HIS final year of public schooling, about two years after Arthur. He started with just short simple vlogs and magic tricks that even professional magicians couldn’t figure out. He followed Gwen and Morgana and saw Arthur a few times in their videos or recommended suggestions. After picking up on Arthur’s rather one sided view of how wealth and poverty work he called him out on it in a private message. Arthur did NOT take it well. There began a video war where both boys passive aggressively mentioned the other. Before it got to far, however, they accidentally ended up meeting at a youtube convention. (Arthur was there to speak on a panel, Merlin went to learn editing tips). The recognized each other and ended up talking for the remaining two days of the convention and became fast friends. Gwen, who had known Merlin through uni for about a year now, had had no idea that Arthur and Merlin had been complaining to her for the past few months about each other and was ready to knock sense into both of them when she found out. After becoming friends, Arthur and Merlin began showing up in each other’s videos more. Merlin, who hated his roommates, began hanging around more at Arthur and Leon’s flat (they went to a different uni in the same city, but had moved off campus) instead of Gwen’s as much. By the end of sophomore year, Merlin had gained a decent number of followers and his channel consisted of vlogs, his magic tricks, him and Arthur hanging out and being weird, and sharing his vast and unparalled knowledge of all things fantasy and nerdy. He, Leon and Gwen get into the longest discussions when they do reviews together. Merlin takes some time off of school, still unsure what he wants to do beside youtube, and moves in with Arthur to split the rent. The videos continue in earnest, and views/followers for both boys continue to grow as they feed off of one another, make more compilation videos, and add more content. After a couple of years, more than half their followers are wondering if they are more than just flatmates, but they are keeping quiet on the matter. The both still have their own channel, which they update frequently, but they also have a shared channel where they do reviews of shows they both like, ask/challenge requests, gaming videos, a few prank videos - they got into a prank way with Percy, Elyan and Gwaine once. Morgana and Gwen somehow won. They also do a deep discussion on Arthurian legend and other mythos, in comedic style. They are known as the “Avalon Nine” - a nickname given to them by the internet after they learned they all knew each other and they frequently appear in each others videos now that they all live in the same city. Morgana and Gwen had met in boarding school, and are currently living together after Morgana moved back after Uni until Lancelot finally asks Gwen to marry him, which Morgana suspects will happen soon. Gwen met Merlin at their uni, the same city that Arthur and Leon were going to uni in. Arthur already knew Gwen through Morgana and they had hung out fairly often, which only increased after they both befriended Merlin. Merlin and Gwen both met Lancelot separately at youtube conventions, and thought it hilarious the day they found out they both knew him. Lancelot moved to the city after graduating uni. Elyan met everyone through Gwen and Morgana met everyone through Gwen and Arthur. Gwaine met Merlin at a convention and later Merlin recognized him auditing his film class for “free editing tips/ideas.” They became fast friends and Gwaine spent a few nights in Merlin’s dorm when his water or heat wouldn’t work. He moves in with Elyan when he comes back from his gap years. Lancelot and Percival, who knew each other prior to the rest of the group, lived with each other for a while before the landlord sold the building. Lance moved to a single while Percival moved in with Elyan and Gwaine. There have been a series of “who knows you better” challanges and games throughout the group, including ones based off of dating games, best friend games, and family games. Merlin and Arthur have won them ALL. Even against Lancelot and Gwen that one time. Leon shared in one of his videos that Arthur and Merlin are also banned from teaming up in charades, pictonary and catch phrase in the gaming videos because they are undefeatable and possible psychic.  Bonus:  Mordred is obviously much younger than the others (just now starting Uni while the others are in their mid to late twenties). So he grew up watching a lot of their earlier stuff and he just idolizes them. He somehow managed to befriend them through social media/convenstions and is a bit surprised he is actually on first name basis with these amazing, talented (giant dorks). He appears in their videos sometimes but is hesitant  to upload anything on his own channel for a long time, since it is harder to get started on youtube now than it was for his older friends. After some encouragement he uploads a few, and the whole  group advertises him since they all kind of adore him, he’s like a little brother. Unlike the others though, Mordred doesn’t vlog or do video games or reviews or anything. Oh no. His videos are all freestyle rapping/spoken word poetry. About whatever catches his fancy. The weirdest thing is they’re GOOD. Its at such odds with his personality but it is what it is. Gwaine has started a betting pool on when Mordred reaches 1,000 subscribers.  Cenred is a little asshole who does mean/staged prank videos and blogs full of sexist and racist remarks on youtube. The group hates him, half of youtube boy cots him and he has had several scandals.  Elena is a youtube they all know and are friendly with, but because she lives in Scotland they aren’t as close. She does a lot of gaming videos, embarrassing stories from her life, and videos about her horse.  Morgause is a powerful admin/part owner of youtube and constantly makes decisions that hurt most independent and creative youtubers. At one point she tried to flag coming out videos or videos with content/opinions she didn’t agree with. She also pressures them to do advertising and tampers with the recommended and trending list. The group pushes back against these regulations, and it turns into an all out war, where Gwaine, Merlin and Arthur are all nearly banned from youtube before Morguase is fired. 
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