#he just wanted some emotional support for his doctor's appointment but now he's even more hurt than before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vmpiires · 4 months

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𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

„𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘”

𝐂𝐖;; mature content. afab!reader, stoner!choso, non-curse/sorcerer AU, no uses of y/n. not proofread so i apologize in advance for any mistakes if they’re made.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓;; choso had just gotten home from work, a pocket full of tips as usual. the male was pretty tired and he was ready to relax. he remembered that you wanted to watch a horror movie with him, so he made sure to make himself look less tired, swallowing his pride and fighting with his emotions. all for you. but once again…he can’t bring himself to do it. but what happens when he sees you with another man?

₊❏❜ ⋮ part two ⌒

. ݁ ࣪ ، ⌗ masterlist

⌗ ˖⃗ 穿血 — 𝒕.𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 @sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3

: ̗̀➛ art creds by;; currently unknown. dividers are not mine, if you own these, you may claim them in comments.

: ̗̀➛ WORD COUNT;; 2.2OK

dark mode recommended

do not copy this plot. i’m perfectly fine with inspirations but give creds. if this plot his stolen in any way, the post will be taken down and you will be blocked.

𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ✉️🖇️;; ya don’t know how happy i am. my pretty princess choso is okay and now he havin girl problems in the story 😭 im glad ya liking this though. hope ya enjoyyyy. reblog to support meeee and if you want more :D (also lmk if you wanna be tagged for possible upcoming parts if i decide to continue)

another note: GO READ THIS and request more storiessss,, my writers block is kicking my ass

“come on, get to it,” choso clapped, trying to get yuji to make his way upstairs. the little boy sighed, getting off of the couch and going upstairs with his older brother still following.

“can’t i stay up for a couple more hours?” itadori tilted his head, looking up at choso. the male sighed.

“you have school and you need to be in bed,” choso advised. though, he was correct and he was just trying to help yuji, he wanted to keep up his plans with you instead of leaving you to watch the movie on your own. “i have a doctors appointment in the morning also. we should be going to sleep.”

“wait why, are you okay?”

“i’ll be okay. it’s just an annual. and you have one coming too, so be ready for that.” choso smiled at his little brother’s consideration for his health. the male picked yuji up and decided to tickle his sides, making the boy laugh loudly.

“okay, now get to bed,” choso announced abruptly, putting the boy back down onto the floor. like before, yuji threw his arms around choso, telling him good night and running up to his room.

after that, choso would take a shower, deciding that he’d wash his hair also. once he finished, he’d dry himself off, shivering from the cold air hitting his skin as he walked back to his room.

back in his room, choso would close the door and start to clean up. making his bed, reorganizing his closet and tossing out things that he deemed useless at the time.

he’d pull the towel from around his waist, leaving him exposed for a moment before he’d quickly put on some clothes. his usual grey joggers. he didn’t even bother putting on a shirt.

choso plopped down onto his bed, finally happy that he could relax. it wasn’t long before his eyes started to close and he drifted off to sleep.

the day’s events quickly faded into nothing but fragments of his memory. even his promises slipped his mind. the male was lying on his stomach, hugging his pillow as if he had nothing to worry about in life.

then it hit him.

his eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up on the bed, remembering you. choso just groaned. he didn’t want to think of you right now. especially when he was just trying to fight his emotions.

you were probably staring at your screen with a slightly disappointed expression when you realized that choso stood you up after nervously agreeing to watch a movie with you.

maybe you weren’t disappointed. you probably had a boyfriend to replace him if he didn’t follow through with his plans with you. he didn’t even know why he was so hung up on you. you had the poor boy losing his mind.

choso was eyeing his laptop that was sitting on the desk, thinking if he should do something to satisfy his worries—if he should call you again.

‘call her? i said that i would do it.’ he thought. ‘no, don’t do that. you’d be wasting your energy. she probably has a boyfriend….you got played…like a fucking idiot.’

choso was now staring at the ceiling with his music playing, smoking a blunt while tears of frustration began to form in his eyes.

he had never been in love before. if the concept was ever brought up to him, he’d shrug it off and not participate in the conversation because he doesn’t know what it feels like to be in a relationship.

this whole situation was upsetting him. it hadn’t even been a week yet and feelings were swelling up in his mind. maybe if he just skipped his break or kept quiet, he wouldn’t be feeling like this.

suddenly, he hears his door opening. as the entrance of his room opens, the smoke from his joint slip out.

“are you okay?” yuji asked. choso looked up, following the voice and tracing it back to his little brother. the male sighed and just took a drag of his joint.

“go to bed, yuji…” he mumbled.

yuji climbed into bed with choso and sat beside him. “how come you’re crying? i never seen you cry before.”

“i—no, you’re too young to understand it. i don’t wanna tell you and you don’t get it.” choso took a drag of his blunt again before wiping away his tears.

yuji went silent for a moment before speaking up again. “i can still listen. just tell me what’s wrong.” the small boy offered. choso looked down before taking a breath.

“i like this girl so much…” choso began, “but every time i wanna interact, i get nervous and i always think about the worst case scenario. another thing, i don’t have time to be in love with anyone. i’d probably be a horrible partner anyway.”

“was it the lady at the store?” yuji asked.

“yes…”

“i knew it. you do like her,” yuji smiled, “um…i think you should still talk to her. she’s really nice—and she smells like strawberries.”

‘how do you even remember that?’ choso grimaced.

“she probably has a boyfriend. it doesn’t matter…”

“did you ask her…?”

choso flushed, “no, i didn’t ask. i don’t wanna ask personal questions to somebody i just met…it’s weird.”

“ask her,” yuji said.

choso sighed and nodded, taking in the advice.

a week passed by and choso had been thinking for a while. no call from you and you got nothing from him. it was radio silence in both directions. it made him feel worse but better at the same time.

tonight, the male was working, showing off how good of a bartender he was with that stale expression on his face. this was the first time he had actually shown off his skill because he was terribly shy.

from a distance, he noticed you walking in with another guy. he wanted to laugh because he already knew that would happen.

‘i was right. my intuition almost never fails.’

choso started to feel the irritation rising up in him despite his dead expression. his body was hot with anger but pain because he knew he couldn’t react like the way he wanted…

because you weren’t together.

the slit across his nose that he was so insecure about, neatly covered with a bandage began to bleed. the thick crimson fluid streamed down his cheeks like tears and slowly down to his lips.

his fingers were stained with the crimson fluid once he touched his face. he quickly made his way to the bathroom, trying not to be seen by anyone.

he stared at himself in the mirror, blood still streaming down his face and hitting the counter as he desperately tried to clean the mess off of his face.

suddenly the door opens. choso covered his nose again with a tissue when he turned around and spotted you walking in. the two of you made eye contact.

“what happened, are you okay?” you walked up to choso and you were about to take him by his wrists to move his hands that had been covering his bloody nose but it was obvious that he didn’t want you to see that.

‘please don’t…’

“nothing—it’s…just a nose bleed.” choso was still covering his nose, blood now streaming down his hands, making a bit more of a mess. you managed to move his hands, revealing the cut that he was so insecure about. you could see his cheeks reddening out of embarrassment now that you seen the one thing that he had been hiding from the world.

you would grab some face wipes from your purse and you bring choso down to your level to wipe the crimson fluid from his face, flinching as the cool wipe traveled over the bridge of his nose.

“sorry,” you whispered.

“no, it’s fine…i think.” choso replied lowly.

“are you sure this is just a regular nose bleed? this is so bad. i never seen somebody bleed this hard unless they busted their ass on the sidewalk.” you comment as you take a bandage out and sticking it onto the bridge of his nose like before.

“it happens all the time, i’m fine.” he replies. “that’s part of the reason why i keep it covered up.”

choso looked down and realized that you were holding his hands now but it was only because you had been wiping the blood off of them.

“you should probably go home, right? you don’t wanna have blood everywhere and then you pass out.” you say. “that’ll be a bit embarrassing."

when choso heard your giggling to lighten up the mood, he smiled a little—it was an awkward smile. the male didn’t smile too often in public or in general. the action felt so foreign to him.

“yeah, i think i’ll go home for the night,” choso says. “and i’m sorry i didn’t call you the other night…i just got-” he stops talking, thinking of a proper word to say. choso didn’t wanna tell you the whole truth just yet. “i just got wrapped up in my head that’s all. i overthink a lot.”

“oh, no. it’s okay, i understand. i was looking forward to talking to you again but i didn’t wanna be a bother because you just seem like a busy guy. always working and taking care of your little brother.” your hands slowly release choso’s and once again, you’re making eye contact with him. you blink when you find yourself looking at his lips.

“yeah…that too-” choso mumbled, “thank you for understanding. i mean, we haven’t spoken for a week, i thought you’d be mad at me.”

“no, i’m not mad.” you said, a bit stunned that he would even think that you were angry at him. “it’s my fault, i probably should’ve checked on you sooner instead of leaving you to your thoughts.”

“i don’t really mind is okay.” choso mumbled.

“hey, how about we do that movie night tonight? i haven’t watched it by myself yet.” you offer, smiling a little.

“you aren’t gonna have that guy there with you, right?” he said quietly. you look behind you and smiled.

“nah, he’s just a friend. don’t worry about that, we’ll have our time together.” you assured. behind your reply, you were a bit surprised to hear him ask about the guy you came to the bar with. though you didn’t have any feelings towards the guy, he definitely liked you.

hence why you’re on this “date” with him….

“i’ll see you after work, then.” choso said and you nodded.

“aw, i thought you were going home.” you teased.

“i gotta feed the house,” choso replied as he began to walk towards the bathroom door. “i can’t come home empty handed.”

and with that, he exited the bathroom.

eventually, you do the same, waving to choso as he made drinks at the bar area. he’d pause for a moment to wave back at you, making you smile.

later that night, choso gets on facetime with you again with a cigarette between his lips. he had on a white shirt with a pair of basketball shorts. his hair wasn’t tied up like he had it all the time. it was down.

the two of you were watching a movie called ‘pearl’, which you suggested because you wanted to have an arsenal of movies before your night ended. you didn’t wanna just watch ‘midsommar’ and hang up.

“she fucked her momma up, not gone lie.” you comment as you watched the movie. choso was pretty immersed, eyes wide was he watched the murder of the main character’s mother.

“yeah…that’s kinda fucked up.” choso mumbled. the male threaded his fingers through his hair and took a drag from his cigarette, trying to keep himself awake.

“oh! that reminds me,” you start, pausing the movie just as the next scene began to play. “there’s a halloween party next week because you know….doesn’t that sound fun? you wanna come?”

“oh—no, i can’t. i have to work and the neighbors aren’t gonna be able to watch yuji because they’re going on a trip and they won’t be back until the second week of november…i don’t have anyone to take care of him.” choso explained, his answer prolonging as more reasons to not go to said party started to come up. you smile at his reaction.

“come on, kids his age will be there. it’s not like it’s a full on adult party. the kids’ll be upstairs and we’ll be downstairs having our fun. and you told me your boss is a chill dude, he should be fine with you calling off.”

“well—well, yeah, i guess but i don’t have a costume and i don’t go to parties. it’ll be awkward and i’ll wanna go home and—”

“choso,” you interject, “it’s okay. just stick by me and when you feel the need to, you can check on yuji. and you have time to find a costume, trust me. so…do you wanna come?”

choso put the cigarette back between his lips and sighed, rethinking all the possibilities and the pros of going to this party.

“um…yeah, sure. i’ll come.”

“good,” you smile before unpausing the movie.

𝐄𝐍𝐃.

⋆｡࿇ ·࣭࣪̇˖ 𖦹°༅༚

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severalforraelee · 8 months

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The Girls Part 12: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Photo credit to LAT Images

Word count: 3,446

Written by raelee / Posted August 15

Masterlist

Formula 1 Masterlist

The Girls Masterlist

“They can’t FaceTime for very long, they have a doctor’s appointment early tomorrow morning so they need to go to bed early tonight,” I warn Charles as soon as I accept the call.

“What’s going on, are they okay?” He instantly questions.

“They’re fine, it’s just a checkup. Girls, come say hi to your dad.”

Ada and Lucy run over at the mention of their father. It surprised me how quickly they’ve welcomed him into their lives and normalized him being in it. That’s definitely an advantage of him coming back while the girls are so young, they’re not aware of the entire situation so they don’t have any conflicting emotions about their father’s absence, they just know the love and admiration they feel for him and that he feels for them. And growing up, they won’t really have any memories from before he entered their lives.

“Hi dad,” Ada grins widely, showing off her growing teeth.

“Where are you?” Lucy inquires.

“I’m in Singapore right now,” he tells them. “I can see the ocean. Look, see the water?”

He flips his camera to show the view from his hotel room, palm trees lined up neatly before it cuts off at the sandy beach.

“Ocean,” Ada cheers.

“I’ll take you girls to see the ocean someday, I promise.”

They chat some more, Charles having to ask them what they’re saying a couple of times to fully understand, but then immediately responding with enthusiasm. He takes genuine interest in what they’re saying, even if it’s arguing over who found a bigger leaf at the park today. The way his hazel eyes gleam at the two toddlers through the screen says it all- he loves those girls with his entire heart.

The conversation wraps up after about twenty minutes, the tiredness becoming apparent in Ada and Lucy.

“I love you girls. I know I’m not the best at times, but I try my hardest to be there for you to support you through everything,” Charles’ words are said to Ada and Lucy, but I know they’re really directed at me.

He’s trying to apologize to me without actually apologizing to me. By explaining his actions without saying sorry for how they made me feel, it’s apparent that he feels bad for attempting to pressure me into moving but doesn’t feel bad enough, or maybe he just feels too scared to say the words ‘I’m sorry’ directly. Plus, it’s a little off-putting to give a message to me through our daughters.

“Mommy, I’m going to play with Barbie,” Lucy announces, taking off to her bedroom to play with the new doll Lando sent her.

“Me too,” Ada follows her to play with the similar Barbie that Lando sent her.

“What?” Charles questions as I give him an annoyed look through the screen.

“If you’re apologetic for your actions, just say it. Don’t do this round-a-bout thing where you tell the girls how hard you try to support them. They know that, although they can’t understand it yet, they can feel your love and support. By indirectly apologizing and not actually using those words, though, you’re not supporting them in emotional growth by showing that it’s okay to be apologetic and that it’s okay to show your emotions,” I inform him.

He blinks at me, clearly processing the speech that I just gave.

“Yeah,” he starts, “Yeah, you’re right. To be honest, I feel like I’m not there to help with the girls as much as I should be and then I feel guilty about it, so I thought the solution would be to move in together so that it would be easier. And I thought I was already compromising because we would be moving in together in London instead of in Monaco-””Monaco, Charles? You wanted us to move to Monaco?” I can’t help but interrupt him.

“I did, for a brief second, before I remembered that you have a support system and school in London,” he defends himself, “Anyways, I guess I also wanted you to move in to something more… up to my standards. But I should’ve asked you about it before making such a big decision by myself. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for your apology and the explanation. Now that I’m aware of this, I’m sorry for not hearing you out on why you wanted to move in to a bigger apartment and for not recognizing your emotions sooner.”

“Thank you for your apology,” he says. It’s quiet, but his smile slowly grows.

“What? Why are you smiling?”

“You snapped at me,” a laugh accompanies his words.

“Did I? Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so hostile,” I frown, thinking back on my tone. “No, it’s great, it’s always nice to be reminded of where Lucy gets her fire from.”

I roll my eyes, but my heart flutters in my chest at his admiration.

As soon as I set my phone down on the coffee table after the call has ended, it starts to buzz. I peer at it curiously, wondering if the call is from Charles trying to contact me to tell me something that he forgot. It isn’t. It’s from my sister, Flo.

I watch as it buzzes and buzzes. I adore Flo- besides Lando, she’s been the only one to treat me semi-normally since having my daughters. She sends me requests for pictures of the girls every once in a while, she’ll call me to hear about their adventures of the week, and she’ll like all of my posts on social media, even just the stories.

But… I can’t help but feel some resentment towards her. Maybe it’s because she’s the one who encouraged me to attend the race, just to inform me that the whole family bailed, or because she never defended me in front of our family. I just can’t shake the negative feelings no matter how much I know that this situation that I’m in is not her fault. This has grown a very apparent distance in our relationship.

So I watch as her contact picture disappears from the screen, showing that I missed a call from her.

“And lights out, and away we go,” the announcer cheers as the race in Singapore begins.

My eyes flicker to Ada and Lucy who are sitting in front of the TV, dolls laying on the floor in front of them but their eyes are attached to the screen where the fast cars zoom past.

It’s so interesting to see their love for Formula 1 at such a young age. It’s subtle- they don’t pick out orange McClaren hats gifted from Lando or red Ferrari shirts from Charles to wear.

But they’ll put their Barbies in the miniature Alpine cars from Pierre. And they’ll perk up at the sound of the Formula 1 theme song.

“Daddy,” Lucy cheers, pointing as the camera focuses on the red car. Ada looks on in awe.

Truthfully, I can’t tell if it’s Charles or Carlos, it’s always been difficult for me to tell the difference between two drivers in the same car, but I nod.

“Yeah, there’s daddy,” I agree softly.

My heart starts to yearn at the sight of him, which I confirm it is once I see the number on the side of the car, even if he is covered in a helmet and a race suit. I quickly push the feeling down, trying my best to focus on the screen in front of me.

I can’t start feeling romantic feelings for Charles, we just started getting along again. Developing romantic feelings for him would complicate everything. With two toddlers in the picture, what they need right now is stability, not for their mom deciding to ‘go for it.’

So I take a deep breath, watching as the Singapore grand prix goes on and on.

“Let me take a picture to send to daddy, first,” I request of the girls.

They stare at me warily, melting ice cream cones in their hands.

“It’ll be real quick, I promise,” I reassure them. “Smile!”

They smile as I quickly snap the photo, digging into their ice cream messily as I set my phone down. After it buzzes for the third time, I pick it up curiously, knowing that it’s not just Charles responding to the photos because he already informed me that he would be doing media all day for Ferrari.

My eyebrows raise in shock when I see three missed texts from my brother, Oliver.

Oliver: Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while, wondering if you’d be up for a chat later.

Oliver: Flo just told me that she called you the other day and you didn’t answer or call her back. Is everything okay?

Oliver: Here if you need anything

I sigh at the texts. I thought Flo wouldn't really notice or care that I didn’t respond to her call, but she must have if she’s getting Oliver involved. I click on the bubble to text, watching as it blinks.

Truthfully, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to commit to a phone call with Oliver because I don’t want to talk about what’s wrong. I always talk about what’s wrong- sometimes, I just want space to think about how valid my feelings are without having to talk about them and get them validated by other people.

And the issues with my family are a sensitive topic with Oliver, since he is involved in the situation.

“Uh oh,” Ada’s words snap my focus to her and I see chocolate ice cream dripping out of the cone and onto her tiny fingers.

“Here, let’s wipe it off,” I tell her, locking my phone and reaching in my bag for a wet wipe.

The texts remain forgotten and not responded to.

I think I like Charles Leclerc. I mean like like- like I fancy him.

I haven’t seen him in person in almost three weeks because of him needing to be at the factory and then back to back race weekends, which I think makes seeing him through the screen all the more special. He grins widely on the podium, spraying the champagne at Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez.

Of course this season it’s not rare to see him up on the podium, but everytime it happens sparks erupt in my stomach in pride of how much success he’s having and how proud he must be of himself.

I like seeing that gleam in his eye and that cheeky smile that he only reserves for the camera.

I can’t help but smile myself.

My phone vibrates on the couch next to me and I glance over at it, frowning as Lando’s contact picture pops up.

I know I should answer. I’ve already left Flo’s call and Oliver’s texts unresponded to, and with Lando being my favorite sibling, I should have a soft enough spot to respond to him.

He’s probably confused on why I haven’t been as talkative as I usually am with him lately. Usually before races, I send him a text wishing him luck, but I haven’t done that for this race or last race. And I know I should answer to congratulate him on his P10- a great result for this year's McClaren, but I’m unsure of how the rest of the conversation will go.

I’m sure Oliver and Flo have already told him about how unresponsive I’ve been to them, he’ll probably press me for answers of why that is. But… Lando is the last person I would want to talk about these problems with.

And truthfully, between having to readjust to being a single mom again for these past three weeks and recognizing and dealing with my feelings for Charles, I don’t want to add my baggage with my family onto the stack of things for me to deal with.

So I leave my phone to buzz.

“Go play in your room,” I encourage the girls, watching them run into their bedroom.

My attention returns to my phone screen where Charles’ smile from seeing his two daughters has slowly faded.

“What’s up?” I question, sensing a slightly bothered vibe from his end.

“I can’t be home by tomorrow night anymore,” he informs me, “They told me that if I went from the race straight to the factory for a couple of days, I could have more time off, which means more time to spend with my family.”

I try to take in his words, I truly do, but my brain pauses at two parts.

Home.

My family.

We’re his home, we’re his family.

But once his words process, my heart starts to break. Mainly for Ada and Lucy, who have been so excited to see their dad since he left. Although they see him in the car and understand that it’s his job to race, they don’t understand why he’s gone so long and often, and it breaks my heart to have to explain it to them before every race weekend.

Tears start to pool in their eyes and their noses scrunch up, sniffling. Every. Single. Time.

“Oh, it’s okay, I understand,” I tell him. I can’t hide the shake in my voice, showing that although I might understand, I’m still upset by it.

He sighs. “Y/N-””Really, Charles, I get it,” I try my best to stabilize my voice. “Go rest, you must have a long day tomorrow. Have a nice sleep.”

I hang up before he can respond, not wanting to hear whatever he has to say. I know that whatever he has to say will pull at my heart, which will strengthen my feelings for him even more.

And I can’t have my feelings for him strengthened. I need those feelings to dissolve.

My phone buzzes with a text, and then another one. I think it’s from the same person, but when I check my phone I’m surprised that it’s not.

Charles: I’ll be there as soon as I can, I promise.

Cisca: Oliver, Lando, and Flo told me that you’re avoiding their calls and texts. At least let us know that you’re alright.

I inhale a deep, shaky breath, trying to stabilize my emotions so that I don’t break down.

I respond to one of those texts.

Y/N: I know, Charles.

I snap a picture of the two toddlers resting their hands against the glass, staring up at the sea creatures passing above them in awe. After tagging the aquarium’s location, I post it to my private story, locking the phone and sliding it back into my pocket.

“You see that one, girls?” I kneel next to them, pointing at a whale above our heads. “That’s a beluga whale. They can live up to 50 years old.”

“Scary,” Ada comments, watching it swim past the glass.

“No, no, they’re only scary if you’re mean to them,” I reassure the girls. “Come on, let’s go look at the starfish.”

The girls go to sleep easy and fast that night, exhausted from the day at the aquarium. I’ve curled myself up in a blanket on the couch, some crappy reality TV on in the background when I get the chance to open Instagram again.

A message from Alex Albon is waiting in my DMs. He had responded to my story of the girls at the aquarium.

Alex: They’re so cute! Did they have a nice time? I haven’t been to an aquarium in ages.

Y/N: They had a great time! Next time you’re in town we’ll go 🙂

To my surprise, he responds almost instantly.

Alex: I’d love that. Or you could bring them to see the aquarium in Monaco 😉

I giggle at the message.

Y/N: You’ve been talking to Charles too much

Alex: I have. I’d love to talk to you, Ada, and Lucy more. You should come to Monaco so that we can have a conversation

Y/N: Nice try, Albon

I feel happy about the conversation that I just had with Alex. I was really close to him and a few other drivers when I was a constant presence on the grid, and when I became pregnant and left, I severed all of those connections so that I could hide my secret from Charles more easily.

Now that my secret’s been revealed and I’ll be even more of a presence in the paddock, because I have Ada and Lucy with me now, I’d love to fix those connections. I don’t know where to start, but small conversations like this help, I guess.

My finger taps on the discover page, scrolling through casually. I freeze at a familiar image, tapping on it.

Spill_the_f1_tea: More information has been revealed about Charles Leclerc and Y/N Norris’ supposed twin daughters! An unofficial source has confirmed that they are the Ferrari driver’s children, Lucy on the second slide and Ada on the third slide. The first photo is taken from Y/N’s Instagram story today. The source close to the pair is unable to provide photos of the toddlers faces at this moment. What do you think about this reveal?

My finger swipes between the three photos in disbelief. Who would do such a thing? I know from what I’ve been telling everyone and what Charles has been telling everyone, we’ve wanted to keep this situation as on the down low as possible so that we could figure out how to co-parent before announcing the news and going public with it over winter break.

Tears start to well up in my eyes at the lack of respect towards my children’s privacy. I can’t stop reading the line The source close to the pair is unable to provide photos of the toddlers faces at this moment.

How can a person genuinely type that out and think that it’s an appropriate thing to post? If the parents aren’t posting pictures of the children’s faces, or of the children in general, why would a random person do that?

I sniffle, opening the viewers from my Instagram story that I posted today and taking screenshots so that I can hopefully connect the dots. But I have no clue when those other photos were taken, or where, or by who.

Heck, it could’ve been me who took the photos and posted them two months ago and I’ve just forgotten about it. And now I have no record of who viewed it or screenshotted those photos.

“Hello?” I answer the incoming phone call from Charles, my voice cracking.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“A gossip blog just made a post about the girls. It’s information from an unofficial source, Charles, I have no clue who it could be,” I admit, choking on a sob. My chest hurts at the utter betrayal from a friend or family member close to me.

“What account?” Charles asks.

I tell him and it’s quiet as he looks at the post.

“I’m so sorry, Charles.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” he reassures me, “You trusted the people closest to you, the fact that they turned around and stabbed you in the back is not on you, it’s on them and reflects poorly on them as a person. We will find out who sent those photos in, okay?”

I nod, then remember that he can’t see me. “Okay.”

“Are you okay if I make a post? Just to confirm that I am the father of the twins. That’s all I say, I won’t confirm their names or show their faces. I just want to stop the speculation of paternity so that we can hopefully have less prying eyes in the future,” he requests.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay with that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just… don’t reveal all of them to the whole world, yet. Let them make that decision.”

“Of course,” he immediately agrees, “At least this unofficial source didn’t send in pictures showing their faces.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

The phone call ends and I’m left to just sit back, twiddling my fingers and watch Kim hit Kourtney with her purse until Charles does whatever he wants to do for damage control.

My phone pings with a notification of being tagged in a post on Instagram.

charles_leclerc: Hi everyone, Y/N and I share wonderful twin daughters together. Out of respect for their privacy and our own, that is all the information that we are willing to share at this point in time. Please respect that and treat everyone, including the amazing mother of my children, with kindness. Thank you.

Tears begin to escape my eyes again. But they’re not anxious tears, they’re not sad tears, they’re happy tears. I’m happy because of Charles.

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#charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 imagine #charles leclerc imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 10 months

Text

Note: this request has been sitting in my messages for a long time. I wrote bits and pieces every now and then, but as it was a request which hit home hard, I ended up working a lot of real life experiences in this story, so I've shed a lot of tears too and often had to leave the fic alone for a few days. I really hope you will enjoy this read, @hb8301. Also, I loved how you requested Sihtric to be an MMA fighter, and therefore it had crossed my mind many times to work your request into the Fighter fic, but I didn't. I felt this deserved to be a standalone fic. Thank you for your patience, again, I hope it's worth the wait. also, for everyone: go here to get familiar with the symptoms of breast cancer.

Warnings: angst/fluff. focus point is reader having breast cancer and getting treatment. spoiler alert: happy ending!

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: Sihtric was away from home, preparing for his next fight, and you had to tell him some bad news when he got home. And together, you had to face this battle.

Word count: 5,5k

Masterlist

'Don't call me Bambi.'

*****************

A few days ago you suddenly discovered a little lump in your breast, and it had freaked you out. You went pale and started to tremble, hoping your gut feeling was wrong, but you knew better and immediately made a doctor's appointment.

Sihtric, your long time boyfriend who was also a prized MMA fighter, was preparing for his upcoming fight, which was scheduled in 5 days and, with your permission, was spending the last week before his fight at a secluded training camp with his team. This was something he always did, as his mind had to be clear and his only focus should be to win that fight. You didn't like being without him for a week, but you supported him, knowing he would mess up his chances of winning if he didn't go to camp, because you knew he could not resist the temptation back home; you.

You wouldn't see Sihtric until next monday, the day after his fight, and you weren't present at his fight because it was abroad this time. Sihtric had reluctantly left you back home, but he understood and said he'd video call you every day, which he faithfully did.

*************

'Hey, gorgeous,' Sihtric smiled when you appeared on his screen, and he raked his hand through his long, messy hair as he sat back against a wall at the gym. You heard the sound of gloves punching bags in the background and you figured Sihtric actually didn't have time to talk, and called during a short break.

You chuckled and felt yourself blush at his words and at the sight of him. After all these years you were still in love like a pair of teenagers.

'Hey, handsome,' you said as you switched on your night light and sat up in bed.

'Did I wake you, honey?' Sihtric frowned. It was only 10 in the evening and he knew you were a night owl, just like him, so he was surprised to see you in bed. 'Are you okay, baby? You look a little pale.'

'I'm fine,' you lied, 'how's training? Still going at it I see?'

'It's going well. Fight's getting close now,' Sihtric shrugged and stopped mid sentence as he looked at you. He scratched his short, well kept beard as he tilted his head to the side while he looked deep in thought. Sihtric picked up on energies and emotions really quick, and you knew he sensed something was wrong.

'You sure you're okay, baby?'

'I am,' you smiled, 'just tired. Had a busy day,' you chuckled lightly to which he smiled.

'Gotta keep yourself busy,' Sihtric said before he looked up at someone who wanted his attention at the gym, 'yeah, 5 minutes, okay?' he looked back at you, 'I don't have much time today, my love, I'm sorry. Few more days, then I'm all yours again.'

'I miss you, Siht,' you suddenly said with a trembling voice, which he picked up on as well.

'I miss you too, sweetie. But what's going on?'

'Nothing, babe… I just… I wish you- you were home,' you suddenly let out a sob and started to cry.

'Honey?' Sihtric jumped up, alarmed, and as if he could just run over to you, 'baby? What is wrong?' his eyes darted all over his screen as he watched you cry, feeling completely powerless as he was a 6 hour flight away from you.

You couldn't speak, you only shook your head and tried to smile through your tears.

'Baby, do I have to come home? Did something happen? Talk to me, love. Please, say something?'

By now the gym had gotten quiet, as everyone had heard the alarmed tone in his voice after he they saw him jump up. But like Sihtric, they had no idea what was going on.

'No- no,' you said, trying to control your emotions, 'I'm just really tired… I miss you…'

'Where is this coming from, little deer? It's not the first time I'm away from home like this...'

You smiled weakly at the way he called you 'little deer'. Sihtric had called you 'Bambi' when you first started dating, because he loved the way you looked up at him with your big eyes, and he said you reminded him of a deer. You thought it was cute but you said you didn't like being called 'Bambi', because the movie made you sad, as Bambi's mother died and Bambi also got shot, so it always made you think of death in a silly way. Sihtric had smiled sweetly at you when he said that Bambi survived and lived happily ever after, but you just couldn't get used to it. So he called you 'little deer' instead, which you thought was sweet.

'I don't know,' you sniffled, 'guess my hormones are all over the place again, you know, full Moon and all that…'

Sihtric snorted and rolled his eyes. 'You and your Moon phases,' he smiled, 'I will fight the Moon next, I swear, because I hate seeing you like this and apparently the Moon's to blame.'

You smiled again and wiped your tears.

'Hang on for a few more days, okay, baby? I'm home soon again, love. I miss you, I love you, and I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and feel you in my arms again,' Sihtric said softly before he looked up at someone in the gym again. He nodded and looked back at you and sighed. 'Hey, I gotta go, I'm sorry, honey. Promise me you'll be okay?'

'I will be okay,' you hoped.

'Good. I will be there again soon. And if you need me back home, any time, I don't care when, even if it's an hour before the fight, you call me, okay?' Sihtric rambled on, 'call me and I come straight home, yeah? I love you, baby. Miss you. Sweet dreams, sleep tight, text me when you're up?'

'I will,' you smiled tiredly, 'I love you too, honey. Good luck with your training.'

'Thank you, baby. I'm going to win this fight for you, and every fight after this one,' Sihtric smiled, 'sweet dreams, little deer.'

He blew you a few kisses, which you returned, and then you both ended the call. You couldn't wait to see him again, but you were also dreading his return home. Because when he got back home, you'd have to tell him that you had been diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2.

*****************

Sihtric had won his fight. You had seen it live on tv and you had been running and screaming through your living room as you saw it happen. And for a moment you had forgotten all about the illness that had made a home inside your body. Until Sihtric was briefly interviewed after the fight, in the centre of the octagon while being surrounded by his team, and he had thanked everyone for their support before he turned to look straight into the camera and yelled, 'I know you're watching, little deer,' he winked, 'I love you, I fought and won for you and I'll be home again tomorrow, baby!' and Sihtric had kissed the camera before his team dragged him back to celebrate his win.

You cried when you saw it, because you loved him, missed him and you were so proud of him. But you also cried because you knew he would not take the news well, as he always told you his biggest fear was losing you.

*****************

'No,' Sihtric scoffed as he held your hands, 'no,' he shook his head and he looked at you, confused with a half smile, as if waiting for you to tell him it was all a really bad joke. 'I don't understand,' he went on, 'are… are you sure? I mean, hospitals make mistakes, right?'

You said nothing as you watched his smile slowly fade.

'I mean… they… they,' Sihtric swallowed hard, 'can they run the tests again?' his eyes darted over your, surprisingly, calm face. 'They can check again, right, baby?' his voice became shaky as his lower lip startled to tremble, 'baby, they- they made a mistake? It has to be… I… they're wrong…'

'Sihtric,' you whispered and squeezed his hands. Your eyes teared up as you saw his tears fall down.

'They… I- I will call them,' Sihtric became angry, 'they'll run those fucking tests again and see they're wrong! I don't care how much it costs! They made a mistake!'

'Honey, please,' you whispered, 'it's not a mistake, I-'

'No!' Sihtric jumped up, 'they're lying!' he shouted through his tears and kicked over the dinner chair he just sat on. 'Fuck this fucking bullshit, fuck!' He breathed hard as his tears kept falling and walked to the garden door, which he kicked open with such force, it almost fell off its hinges, and you watched Sihtric storm outside, into the backyard. You saw how he kicked at the grass as he cursed and eventually kicked the birdhouse, which tipped over, and as he wanted to kick it again, he got his foot stuck in the house and aggressively tried to shake off the birdhouse from his ankle.

Sihtric had taken it exactly how you thought he would; not well. You had told him about the diagnosis and also made it very clear that it could be treated. It would be rough, yes, but you were lucky to have found it this early. With surgery and chemo, the doctors gave your recovery chances almost 100%.

But you were pretty sure Sihtric hadn't heard a single word after you had taken his hands and said, 'My love, I need you to really listen to what I am going to say, and please, don't freak out…'

****************

Weeks had passed since Sihtric heard the news and had destroyed the birdhouse, because his big foot had gotten stuck in it. Your surgery was now scheduled and you had started your chemotherapy a few days ago. The plan was to shrink the tumour so you could have breast conserving surgery.

You had been rather calm, despite everything. You had faith in the treatment and you felt it was going to be okay. Afterall; it is what it is. But Sihtric was a mess. He refused to leave your side throughout the day and at night he held you tightly in his arms.

Sihtric tried to be strong for you and helped out with every little thing, as if you were suddenly a fragile doll, and he freaked out every time you felt nausea, dizzy or had to throw up because of the chemo. But you weren't a fragile doll. You were still the same strong woman you were before your diagnosis. Except that you had felt rather sick after each chemo treatment, but other than that, you were okay.

Regardless, you let Sihtric do whatever he wanted to help you with, because he just didn't know how to cope, and you could tell. Sihtric told you he was fine, but you knew he barely slept. At night, he would often stay up a little longer than you, and said he just wanted to watch some light tv before he joined you in bed, just to take his mind off things. But each night, when he thought you were asleep already, he'd simply break down and cry on the couch. And each night you would hear his long, desperate grunts, which he tried to muffle as he screamed and cried into a pillow downstairs, but his heartbreaking bellow simply cut through everything.

And each night you wanted to hold him in your arms, tell him that everything would truly be okay. But you knew he was simply afraid and that he was just trying to deal with this in his own way, which was different for each person, so you had to let him cry at night as it seemed to be his only outlet since he took a break from training to be with you. And when he joined you in bed after he had calmed down, an hour later, you would simply cuddle up and tell him how much you loved him.

'I would rather die than live without you,' Sihtric said one night, as he held you.

'But I'm not going anywhere,' you reassured him, 'I'm not leaving you. This is not how I go, I promise.'

'This is the one fight I can't win for you,' he said quietly.

'Then fight with me. I need you to fight with me. And I promise you, my love, this is not going to take me down.'

'You will have to bury me, before I bury you,' Sihtric said.

'Oh, I will bury you if you destroy another birdhouse I made myself.'

'I'm sorry, little deer, I will build you a new one,' Sihtric chuckled softly in your ear and pecked your cheek.

'Baby, you have two left hands,' you giggled, 'great for punching bags and opponents, but not for building me a birdhouse.'

'Is that all my hands are good for?' Sihtric asked, and you could hear him smile as his hand trailed down your body, 'or should I remind you what else I'm good at with my hands?'

You giggled when he snuck his hand down your panties. Despite everything, Sihtric still made sure you knew how much he loved you. And while you didn't feel well enough to have sex, because it was quite a workout with him, he would still pleasure you in a way that was comfortable for you whenever you wanted it.

****************

After your second week of chemo, things became a little harder, but Sihtric still was by your side 24/7. Except for that hour after you had gone to bed already. Then he'd either scream and cry in a pillow, or go to the gym in the basement and punch a wall, instead of a bag, until his knuckles bled. But during the day, he wouldn't show you any of his pain or how scared he still was. He only wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

'Sihtric,' you said one night.

'Hm?' he hummed, looking down at you in his arms.

'What if… when I- I start to lose my hair…' you tried not to cry, because out of everything, that is what you feared the most. Which was ridiculous actually, but you couldn't help it. 'Would you s…shave my head?'

Sihtric clenched his jaw when he saw you tear up, and swallowed hard.

'Would you want me to do that?' his voice was soft.

You nodded silently.

'Then of course I will,' he sniffled, 'everything for you, my love, always.'

'Would… would you still love me when… when my hair…'

'Don't be silly, baby, of course I will. Always.'

***************

You just finished your 3rd week of chemo.

You got out of the shower and blow dried your hair, as usual, but when you raked your fingers through it, you suddenly pulled out full locks of hair. You gasped and dropped the hairdryer, which broke in five pieces as it hit the floor, and about three seconds later you heard Sihtric storm up the stairs.

'Baby!' he yelled before he bursted into the bathroom, 'hey!'

He knew you had been feeling tired and a little dizzy, so he worried you had fallen or simply fainted. Sihtric froze when he saw the broken hairdryer on the floor. And then he saw your crying face and your trembling hand, with a whole strand of hair tangled around your fingers. And without thinking he raked his own fingers through his long hair and looked bewildered. You took a deep breath and looked at him.

'I need the… the ha- hair clipper.'

Sihtric nodded and was quick to grab it and plugged it in. He looked at you and pulled you close.

'Do you want me to do it?' he asked softly, 'or will you try it yourself?'

'I'll… try it.'

Sihtric helped you with the settings as you both sniffled, and he got behind you as you looked in the mirror, ready to shave your hair off, for the first time in your life. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding your trembling body tight, and he kissed your cheek several times.

'You got this, baby,' he whispered, 'you'll be so fucking beautiful, I just know it.'

You chuckled lightly through your tears and brought the hair clipper up… but you couldn't do it and broke down in tears again. Sihtric took the clipper out of your hands and held you even tighter.

'It's okay, my love,' he hushed you, 'don't be afraid. I know you don't want to hear it, but it will grow back before you know it.'

'I know, just… just do it, Sihtric, just get it over with,' your shoulders jerked as you cried.

Sihtric moved around you and took your chin gently, lifted it slightly up and he kissed your lips, pouring out the endless love he felt for you.

'I love you,' he whispered, 'no matter what, Bambi.'

'Don't call me Bambi,' you sniffled with a small smile.

'Actually,' Sihtric said, 'I will call you Bambi. You know why?'

You shook your head as you watched him move behind you again, and you felt his arm back around your waist.

'Because,' Sihtric said as he looked at your reflection, 'Bambi was a bad bitch who lived happily ever after.'

You snorted and wiped your tears.

'And guess what?'

'What?' you sniffled again.

'You're a bad bitch who will live happily ever after too,' Sihtric winked, and then asked if you were ready.

You said you weren't, but told him to just do it. And he did. You closed your eyes and hid your face behind your hands as you felt your hair fall down your shoulders, over your bare arms, onto your bare feet. And when he was done, you felt Sihtric press a kiss to your shaved head and he told you that you still looked like 'a fucking goddess'.

After a long moment you finally opened your eyes and you cried at your reflection. It wasn't that bad, but you simply hated it and felt like you weren't yourself anymore. You had considered a wig, but you knew it would also raise questions, so you'd rather just be bald.

'Baby, don't cry,' Sihtric tried to hush you, 'you… you can wear beanies?'

'Baby, it's fucking summer!' you cried out, 'I… I can't hide this. Everyone,' you scoffed lightly, 'everyone will fucking stare at me, and they'll know. They'll just know and they will fucking stare and they will pity me. And I don't want any fucking pity!'

Sihtric sighed and looked at you. He honestly thought you were still breathtaking, and he hated the fact you were worried people would stare at you and treat you differently once they saw you without your long locks.

'I'll give them something to fucking stare at,' Sihtric huffed and switched on the hairclipper. And before you could even react or stop him, he started shaving his head.

'Baby, no!' you gasped, but it was already too late. You expected him to shave it all off, just like you, but he didn't, and he stopped almost halfway up his head.

'There,' Sihtric said as he rubbed one hand over his freshly shaved side and raked his other hand through the curls he had kept, 'that'll give them something to stare at.'

****************

You had gotten used to Sihtric's haircut rather fast, and you thought it actually looked really hot and you said he should keep it. He told you he might, and said he loved the way you looked too, and wouldn't mind it if you would shave your hair off again in the future some day. But you said you probably wouldn't.

About a month has passed since your chemo and your surgery was scheduled for tomorrow.

'You know,' you said as you picked at your dinner, 'you should pick up your training again, Sihtric.'

'I will when you are healed.'

'No, babe,' you smiled softly, 'don't neglect what you worked so hard for because of all this. You can still do your own things while I recover. In fact, it… it would be good for you to pick up your regular life again too.'

'My life isn't regular right now!' Sihtric raised his voice and slammed his fork down. Then he buried his face in his hands, trying to control his anger and stress about your surgery tomorrow. 'I'm sorry, baby,' he said softly and took your hand, 'I… I can't focus on anything else but you. Picking up my training would probably only do more damage as I will fight with anger, without thinking straight.'

'I understand,' you said, 'but I will have to stay over in the hospital for at least a few nights. I need to know you will be okay on your own.'

'But I'm not going back home,' Sihtric scoffed, 'I will stay with you.'

'No, you can't-'

'I'm not leaving you alone in the hospital!'

'I don't know if that's a possibility, Sihtric.'

'I will not leave you,' he said again.

And you stopped arguing, because you knew he meant well. So you kissed his lips and his bruised knuckles, which you had already told him off about earlier.

****************

'You got everything?' Sihtric asked, just before he was about to drive you to the hospital.

'Yeah.'

'Actually,' Sihtric said and took your hand before you could walk out the front door, 'there's something…,' he reached into his hoodie and suddenly got down on one knee, 'I… I know this is not the… there's nothing romantic about this. And I'm sorry, but I- I couldn't let you leave without… without knowing if you- you will marry me?'

Sihtric held up a ring to you. You were stunned and started to cry, again.

'Of course I will,' you blubbered as Sihtric slipped the ring on your finger and kissed you while you both cried.

'I will marry you as soon as all of this is dealt with,' Sihtric promised.

***************

'What do you mean I can't stay the night!?' Sihtric said, heated.

'I'm sorry, sir, but your girlfriend-' your doctor tried to speak.

'Fiancé!'

'... F-fiancé needs to rest. She will be allowed to have visitors between 10 and 2 tomorrow.'

'So I can't even see her now?!'

'I'm sorry. The surgery went well but due to the chemo that affected her body she will need rest now.'

'No… no, I want to see her,' Sihtric scoffed, 'you can't keep me from seeing my fiancé!'

'Sir, I will have you removed if you will not listen. I am sorry. I understand this is very hard to hear-'

'What the fuck do you possibly understand about this?' Sihtric spat as he towered over the doctor.

Sihtric was ready to throw a punch, but then he remembered you had told him to behave, even if he wasn't allowed to be near you, which you had expected. You said that if he would make a scene, he wouldn't be allowed to see you at all anymore until you came home, and you didn't know when that was.

'Fine!' Sihtric snarled, 'I'll just wait here then!'

'You can't…' the doctor tried, but gave up.

Sihtric threw his jacket on the floor, next to the door to your room. He sat down, crossed his arms, and looked up at the doctor with a clenched jaw.

'Savages,' the doctor muttered, 'all of them fighters are savages.' He threw his hands up as he shook his head and walked away.

And Sihtric would wait. He slept on the floor in the hallway, while it was actually not allowed, but the poor old man that was the night security guard didn't dare to wake him up and send him home.

*************

You had been awake for hours already but had no idea Sihtric was right outside your door, as he was not allowed in and no one had told you about his presence. So when you suddenly heard some commotion outside at 10 in the morning, you were a little startled.

'No, you said ten! It's ten now!' Sihtric said as the doctor tried to stop him from storming in your room at exactly 10 in the morning.

'Sihtric?' you frowned as he suddenly barged in with a panicked doctor behind him.

'Baby,' Sihtric said as he ran to you, immediately tearing up and he grabbed your face to kiss you.

You weren't sure if you felt dizzy because of the meds in your system or because the way he kissed you was incredibly arousing at that moment, but you enjoyed it all the same.

'You look rough,' you smiled when you looked at him.

'Yeah, they made me sleep on the floor,' Sihtric said as he glanced over his shoulder at the doctor, who threw his hands up in defence.

'What?' you scoffed lightly, 'but- but why didn't you just go home?'

The doctor huffed, 'that's what I sug-'

'And leave you?' Sihtric interrupted the doctor, 'never.'

**************

After a few days of hospital food you finally got to go home. Sihtric, who never left the hospital either before your release, drove you home while he looked worse than you. Back home, you showered together and he carefully helped you take care of the wound you had after your surgery, and he would continue to do so until it was all healed up.

'Would you not mind it if... the scar...'

'Baby,' Sihtric said, 'you think I will care that you have a scar? Have you seen my face?'

**************

'Darling,' Sihtric said a few weeks after the surgery, 'the guys have been texting me non-stop. They want to come over and see you. Are you up for that?'

'Of course,' you smiled. You slowly but surely started to regain your strength the past few days and felt more like yourself again.

'Can I invite them over tonight?'

'Sure.'

'We can order pizza and watch a movie. You want that, honey? You can pick whatever you want to watch.'

'I don't mind, Sihtric,' you chuckled, 'everything's fine with me.'

Sihtric had absolutely spoiled you since you came home again. Not a day went by that he wouldn't surprise you with flowers, balloons, teddy bears, of which you had about 12 by now, or simply with your favourite food or drink. He cleaned the house, did the laundry, he cooked, everything was fine with him, as long as you could just sit back and relax. And when you craved something at midnight but didn't have it in the house, he'd use his contacts to get it as fast as possible. He did everything for you, whatever you wanted.

Sihtric was also more than happy to please you when your sex drive slowly but surely came back again. And he was as good with his mouth and tongue as he was with his hands and fingers. You weren't fully ready yet to have sex with him, but you did obviously long to see and hear him being pleased as well, but he wouldn't let you do anything on him right now, not until you were fully recovered, because you were still tired rather fast.

'What if… what if I just kiss you, and you… you know…'

'Jerk off?' Sihtric grinned, 'yeah, that'll work for me.'

That problem was solved rather quickly. It became an almost daily routine you both enjoyed, and you even had to clean yourself up fast, minutes before Sihtric's friends came over.

You opened the front door and were greeted by Uhtred, who held (another) gigantic teddy bear, Finan, who held a couple of balloons, and Osferth, who held a large bouquet of pink roses. They all hugged you and shed a tear. They hadn't seen you or Sihtric since this all had started, as Sihtric had isolated himself completely to take care of you.

'You look good,' Uhtred smiled, 'the bald look actually looks great.'

'Right?' you laughed, 'I got used to it. But I can't wait to have my long hair back again.'

'And you will look just as pretty,' Finan smiled.

'You are beautiful no matter what,' Osferth blushed as he handed you the roses.

'Thank you,' you chuckled as you heard Sihtric enter the hallway and the men all cheered.

'There he is!' Uhtred smiled, 'finally.'

'What happened to your hair, mate?' Finan snorted.

Sihtric had kept his half shaved cut, simply because you had fallen in love with it. You told the men about the day your hair fell out, and what Sihtric had done. And after that, they all sniffled and didn't dare to say another word about Sihtric's hair anymore.

'Oh, he also proposed,' you suddenly said.

'What?!' they all yelled, after which they pulled you both in for a group hug and cried again. They were such softies, all of them.

You all sat in the living room as you waited for the pizzas to be delivered. Sihtric had pulled you in his lap and kept his arms tightly around your waist as he nuzzled your neck and cheek ever so often, and planted soft pecks whenever he could. Sihtric never shied away from displaying his affection when others were around, but he definitely became even more affectionate after your sickness. Sihtric still struggled to talk about everything, so he simply focused on you. And you told the guys everything that had happened since Sihtric had left for the fight. You all shed a tear when you told them why you had cried during the video call that one evening, and you all laughed when you said how Sihtric had gotten his foot stuck in the birdhouse.

'He promised he'd built me a new one,' you reminded him, to which you all laughed.

'I will, in time. I promise,' Sihtric whispered in your ear as Uhtred jumped up to open the door for the pizzas. You all ate and joked around before you moved to sit on the large couch together to watch a movie; Bambi. Uhtred sat on the far left, next to him was Sihtric, then Finan, and Osferth sat on the far right. It was a large couch, but they sat shoulder to shoulder.

'I guess I'll sit on the floor,' you joked as you saw there was no more space.

'No!' they all shouted, and Sihtric pulled you towards him. You sat half on Uhtred's and Sihtric's lap, while your legs rested on Finan and Osferth their thighs. And like that, surrounded by your favourite pretty boys, you had the best night in months because it all felt almost back to normal again. Which you needed, and Sihtric too. And as the home you lived in with Sihtric was rather large, the guys all stayed the night too.

The next morning you found the four guys in your backyard as they were building a new birdhouse from scratch. You wanted to offer them coffee, but Osferth came running and turned you around, saying you couldn't see the house yet. Sihtric followed behind Osferth to give you a quick kiss and to walk you back inside.

Hours later they yelled at you from the backyard and presented you with your new, one of a kind, birdhouse. You weren't sure how a bird would be able to get in the house, but at least Sihtric's foot would also not fit in the tiny opening either.

**************

It would take a while before you would be considered fully cured. But many, many months had passed since your surgery, and you were feeling pretty much back to normal again. Your hair had been growing again too, and it had gotten to a nice length, which Sihtric was absolutely smitten by as he found out he could braid your hair. He braided it the same way as his hair was braided during his fights, and he almost passed out when he saw how it looked on you. He loved it so much, he actually proposed again.

And speaking about proposals, you were about to get married. You and Sihtric decided to not wait any longer, as you had said you were feeling as good as "normal" again.

The wedding was small and intimate, in a cosy venue and only your close friends and family were present. Sihtric had grabbed onto Finan, his best man, because he was almost going to faint when he saw you walking down the aisle, with your hair braided, wearing a beautiful long dress and a smile on your face. Sihtric started sobbing the moment he took your hands, which caused you to cry too, and then everyone cried, so it was all a mess. But the best kind of mess.

You couldn't believe you were able to dance and party all night again, and you made the most of it, with your ridiculously handsome husband. And after the party, when everyone went home, Sihtric took you to a fancy hotel suite he had booked for the wedding night. And that night was the first time you had sex again, after everything that had happened. And it was the most incredible sex of your life, which you thought was pretty impressive, as it had always been good with Sihtric before. And the next morning, you'd have sex with him again. In bed, in the hottub, and on the floor. And you knew then that you were finally fully feeling like yourself again.

You couldn't possibly have a better start to your wedded life, and you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with Sihtric; your husband, your fighter and, which you would soon find out, the father of your first child. And Sihtric had been right all along, you would live happily ever after, just like Bambi.

*************

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx

[DM to be added to/removed from taglist! & don’t be shy to like, reblog & comment!🖤]

#sihtric x you #sihtric x reader #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fic #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #modern!sihtric

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lucy90712 · 2 months

Text

Road to recovery- part 8

Masterlist

Part of me was hoping that the hate would slow down a bit but of course it didn't. Every time I checked any form of social media all I saw was people posting about how much they didn't like me and assuming that I'm only friends with Pablo to gain something. I thought I'd be able to handle the comments but I just can't there has been so many more than I thought there would be and people have said such hurtful things about my appearance and my character. Pablo keeps apologising and asking if I'm ok and I just keep telling him I'm fine which is a bit of a lie but I can tell he already feels bad enough I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him how I really feel. The worst part about it is that everyone seems to be drawing attention to the things I was already insecure about which hasn't helped my mental state at all.

Today though I have a chance to cheer myself up a bit as I have a big check up with my doctor to see how my recovery is progressing. I think it's going pretty good so hopefully he agrees and says something positive as that would really lift my spirits. I've been nervous about the appointment today as well which has really made the last few days even more challenging on my mental health but I'm trying to stay positive as I know wallowing in sadness and anxiety won't do me any good.

Alonso came to pick me up a bit before my appointment; when I got in the car I expected him to tease me about everything that happened with the game this weekend but he didn't instead he asked if I was ok. I was going to lie to him too but because he's my brother he knows exactly when I'm lying so I had to tell him the truth. It was kind of nice to get all of my feelings off my chest and Alonso was really supportive and gave me some good advice. He's been through things like this before with getting hate for his performances out on track so he told me to just delete the apps off my phone for a bit that way I'm not tempted to look at what people are saying. In fact he stole my phone and did it for me as I think he knew I probably wouldn't do it myself.

Once I had my phone back I went into the hospital on my own leaving Alonso to wait in the car for me. The wait for my appointment wasn't long at all and then I went in and was immediately taken for some new scans to see how everything was healing. After scans I was subjected to a load of tests on my range of movement, how much weight I could put on my leg and how much pain I was in. The testing was rigorous and honestly quite exhausting as it's been a long time since I've done this much movement with my knee but for the most part it felt good. After I had done everything the doctor left for a while to review it all and look at my scans which left me just staring at the wall hoping to hear good news. Just as I was daydreaming the door opened again and the doctor came back in, his expression was impossible to read which for some reason filled me with a few more nerves.

"Ok Lola things aren't progressing as we would like them too internally you aren't healing as quick as we thought you would and your movement isn't at the range we would expect it to be" he said

"What does that mean?" I asked holding back tears

"For now it doesn't mean too much this can happen as we can't always accurately predict how quickly people will recover but we will set another one of these appointments in a few weeks and if we aren't seeing improvement you may need a second surgery so that we can see what's going on" the doctor explained

"Ok" was all I could manage to say

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but don't let it discourage you if you keep working hard you won't need the surgery" he said

We scheduled my next appointment and that was as long as I could hold it together. All of my emotions that I'd been holding onto for the last few days came out all at once, as soon as I left the hospital doors I burst into tears and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I made my way back to where Alonso parked but before I could get into the car Alonso had got out and wrapped me in his arms. He tried to get me to stop crying and tell him what was wrong but I just couldn't he tried everything to help me all of which had worked before but today nothing could stop me. Eventually he gave up and let me get in the car so we could go home because right now all I want is to just go home and get to grips with my emotions as I clearly have a lot to process.

As much as my eyes were filled with tears I could tell that Alonso didn't take the turn to take me back to my place which meant he was going to take me somewhere in hopes of cheering me up. I really didn't want to go wherever it was he was planning to go but I was sobbing too much to tell him to take me home. We went a bit further before the car stopped and I looked round a bit as at first I didn't recognise where we were but then I saw Pablo's house and realised we were just down the street. I should've known Alonso was going to bring me here but this is the last place I want to be I don't want Pablo to see me like this. I knew we said we would help each other out but I know for a fact Pablo is doing better and I know he's in a better place mentally and I don't want to ruin that by projecting my problems onto him that wouldn't be fair.

Alonso had to practically drag me out of the car and down the road which was rather easy for him as I'm not strong enough to put up too much of a fight. We walked down the street to Pablo's house where Alonso left me to ring the doorbell, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't be in even though he said he had no plans today. Of course after just a few seconds the door opened and I locked eyes with Pablo who straight away rushed over as quick as he could and wrapped me up in his arms. I wanted to stop crying but for some reason I only cried more once I was in Pablo's arms it was like he made me feel safe enough to truly let all of my feelings out. Pablo said a few words to my brother before taking me inside and allowing him to leave.

Pablo took me to the sofa and allowed me to settle into his embrace with my head buried in his chest so he couldn't see my tear stained and probably red and puffy face. His hand was gently stroking my back trying to calm me down while he whispered comforting words in my ears. It wasn't anything special what he was doing but hearing his words and feeling his hands on me did wonders in helping calm my emotions which I didn't have any control over. As my tears began to slow down Pablo kept rubbing my back and he even wiped some of the tears from my face that he could reach as I was still hiding most of my face. I never would've thought he would be so good at comforting me I mean he's always so hyper and full of energy I never imagined that he'd be any good at keeping calm and radiating that onto others but clearly he is. Once I had completely stopped crying and my breathing was getting back to normal Pablo put a hand under my chin and got me to look at him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you so upset and I want to help" he said

"The doctor said my knee isn't healing properly and I might need another surgery if things don't get better" I said still sniffling slightly

"I'm sorry that sounds awful but that's not the only thing on your mind is it" he probed further

"No that's it" I lied

"Don't lie to me please just tell me what's wrong I'll do whatever I can to help and I won't judge you you know that" he said

Damn why doesn't he have to be able to read me like a book.

"Ok I've been getting a lot of hate since we were seen together at the game and it's been getting to me a bit I thought I could handle it as I'm used to criticism but I can't some people are just so mean" I admitted letting a few more tears fall

"I knew it was getting to you people on social media are assholes because they don't feel the consequences of what they say but none of what they say is true" he said

"But they keep talking about how I must be using you or how I don't deserve to even be friends with you which that part is kind of true" I rambled

"No it's not true I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you I love spending time with you just because you aren't famous doesn't mean you don't deserve to be friends with me and despite what they say I know you aren't using me I know you would never do that" he said

"And before you say anything all of the things they say about your appearance aren't true either you are beautiful inside and out and they are just jealous" he added

Hearing him say that put a smile on my face. Pablo has never really complimented me before he's told me my outfit was cool a few times but he's never called me beautiful so hearing it made me feel a lot better about myself. He must've noticed that I was finally smiling again as he told me I looked pretty when I smiled which only made my cheeks heat up but luckily my face was already red from crying so Pablo probably wouldn't have noticed. Although I kind of wish he knew how he made me feel because as time goes on it's getting harder and harder to hide my true feelings from him.

Pablo's POV

The pain in her eyes just shattered my heart. She's been my rock throughout every step of the way so far so to see her breakdown right in front of me really hurt. This whole time she's been the strong one never letting anything get to her but finally it's caught up with her and part of it's my fault because we got seen together at the game and now people are tearing her apart and one person can only handle so much. I feel so awful that I'm part of the reason she's so upset but knowing that I can be there for her and calm her down makes me feel a bit better. When she arrived she was hysterical and her brother told me he couldn't get a word out of her so he wanted me to try so that's what I did. I'm not very good at keeping myself calm at times let alone other people but I tried my best and after a while of just rubbing her back and whispering to her she calmed down. It felt good to be the one to help her because she's done so much for me that anything I can do to even remotely repay that I'll do in a heartbeat.

Hearing the way she criticised herself as well it pained me. She's the most beautiful and kind person I've ever met so to hear her say that she thought she didn't deserve to be friends with me hurt but what hurt more was to see that those horrible people got to her and made her feel insecure in herself. Throughout the time we've known each other I've always wanted to tell her just how beautiful she is but I've refrained as I know once I open the flood gates there's no going back. Once I start complimenting her I'm scared that I'll let my feelings show but today she needed it so I knew I had to take the risk. Seeing the smile that my compliments gave her made the risk feel worth it though as I'd do anything to keep her smiling 24/7.

Looking into her eyes as she smiled and blushed at my words made me feel some type of way. I've felt something for her since we first met and I've kept those feelings repressed until now but I don't know if I can do it any longer. She's just the most perfect girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose her whether that be to another guy or to the fear of what us being friends might mean for her. I have to tell her how I feel in hopes that as long as she feels the same way it gives her a reason to stick around even when things are tough like they are right now. As scary as it is I have to take the risk.

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #football imagine #gavi x reader #pablo gavi

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iguana-eyanna · 1 year

Note

Please write more Lewis capaldi fanfictions please

If I could marry the scottish beyonce myself, I would. Here's something I thought on the spot!

Summary: Lewis is trying to figure out why you are giving him the silent treatment

Lewis groggily woke up, as a sliver of light was stinging his eyes. He looks over to his left, seeing his wife sound asleep, wearing a baggy marvel t-shirt and booty shorts. Under the covers, she was covering her 22-week bump.

You and Lew were ecstatic, as you two were in a great place to financially start a family. It has been pretty breezy even during your pregnancy as you had minimal nausea but had some particular cravings.

Lewis thought the worst was behind you two

"Morning love." Lew says, wanting to snuggle closer to you, and kisses your shoulder.

You flutter your eyes and kinda shake him off as you got up to use the bathroom.

Lewis is left on the bed, forming a thin smile as he lands back in his pillow.

"Another day, woo hoo!" He says sarcastically to himself.

For the past few days, you sorta stopped talking to Lewis. He thought that it was joke, but when the third day past, he knew something was wrong. He tried asking you what happened, but you didn't budge.

Hopefully, today would be different as you had your appointment today, and it could help you into a brighter mood.

You two went along your day without speaking to another. Lewis tried making you chuckle or at least smile, even making a stupid tiktok that always made you laugh till you peed.

You couldn't even crack.

Finally, Lewis drove with you to your appointment, helping you down the car and walk inside the clinic.

You two sat in uncomfortable silence as you lay down on the examination table wearing a gown when the nurse came and gave you instructions. Lewis bounces his leg up and down.

"Please love, it's killing me that we haven't spoken in days. Tell me what's wrong." He says desperately.

You take a deep breath as you shook your head.

"You still don't know what you did." You mutter under your breath.

Lew can't feel but helpless.

"I am the most clueless man in the world! Like have I snored too much recently? Or does my breath smell and you can't stand it? I just-"

The door swung opened and you see your doctor come in.

"Hey, you two! Ready to see your baby?" she says in a cheery tone.

You and Lew could only nod your heads as she started prepping.

"Your vitals are good, blood pressure not too high, blood work looks really good... now we can skip to the best part!" she said, putting on her gloves as she grabs the gel.

She squirts it on the bottom of your belly and starts moving the wand looking at the screen.

"I think they're not shy today... would you like to know the gender?" She asks, looking up.

Lew looks down at you, eyes pleading. He's been dying to know the gender since you've started showing, but he knew it was your decision to know first.

"Yeah, we'd like to know." You said softly.

She looks back at the screen.

"Looks like you're expecting a little girl!"

You began to smile as your heart pounded faster. Lewis holds your hand as you share the same excitement. You squeeze his hand, as the anger you've been holding has almost washed away.

The doctor lets you change in the bathroom, so Lewis takes this opportunity to talk to your doctor.

"I know when you said she'll be changing with her emotions, but I feel like she hates my guts." Lewis said.

The doctor chuckles as she writes something on her clipboard.

"When I was pregnant, I was like that with my husband when he didn't kiss me goodbye when I was off to work. Be patient, she'll be able to turn around."

"Thanks doc,"

"Of course. I know how supportive you are of your wife. I mean, what's the worst thing you could have done: eat all her ice cream?" Your doctor asks jokingly.

Lewis laughs along until he thought back to a week ago, and his face fell.

"Fuck"

The car ride was the same when you left home. You stared into the window, looking at the buildings and scarce trees. Suddenly, Lewis takes a different route and heads to your local market. He unclips his seatbelt and mask, heading out of his side.

"I'll be back. Shouldn't take me long." He said, almost jogging to the sliding doors.

Soon, you saw Lewis coming out with two bags filled to the top. He opens the back and places them on the floor. He returns back to the driver's side, looking at the receipt.

"I got chocolate, rocky road, vanilla in case you don't want something too rich, mango sorbet-"

"Wait, what's all this?" You ask Lewis.

"I bought every flavor in there, I'm so stupid that I didn't realize what I've done. I'm sorry for eating your ice cream last week."

One thing that has been dominant in your pregnancy is that you were always craving ice cream.

Lewis remembers when you two came from a date. He was staring at the freezer to look for a dessert and ate your last ice cream carton. And it wasn't just any ice cream, but strawberry ice cream. (Which was what you've been snacking on most of the time.)

When you went to the freezer and realized that he finished it, you started to get very emotional and focused your frustration on Lew.

He scrambles back and brought out a little bowl of self-served strawberry ic cream, and gave it to you as a peace offering.

"Forgive me?" he asks.

You started to tear up and nod your head.

"I-I'm sorry, I've been acting so silly over something that could have been avoided." You said, sniffling.

"Hey no... I'm the idiot here. I should have asked if you needed more. You're growing our little girl in there, so you deserve all the ice cream in the world." Lewis says, placing a hand on your belly.

Suddenly, you felt a flutter underneath his palm, and his eyes grew 3x wider.

"Was that-" He asks as he started stuttering.

"Her first kick!" you acclaimed.

Lewis bends down as he saw movement under your thin top and begins to smile.

"Hey, there little one. Barely out and you're giving your parents trouble already? Not that I mind, but go easy on your mum. She's already doing so much for you and getting mad at me. But I'll do anything for you two... you're my whole universe. Know that we're waiting impatiently to meet you, our little sweet." He said.

You couldn't help but cry more. Lewis leans over and kisses your forehead and slowly kisses your lips.

"I know you don't mean it, so no matter how mad you'll get, I'll always love you."

You chuckle and return the kiss.

"I love you too. Thank you for all this."

"Let's go home, we don't want the ice cream to melt." He said, giving you one final peck as he started the car.

You took a bite of your ice cream, humming in delight as you two talked along the way home, discussing baby names.

#lewiscapaldi #lewis capaldi #lewis capaldi one shot #lewis capaldi imagine #lewis capaldi fluff #lewis capaldi fan fiction #lewis capaldi x reader #lewis capaldi x you #lewis capaldi x pregnant reader #pregnant reader #scottish beyoncé

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 1 year

Text

writing this because my doctors office made me feel sad

this is purely self-indulgent. sorry if its not what anyone's looking for

shout-out to @chaotic-on-main and @levis-squishy-cheeks for helping me work through this today

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 1.9k

tw: implied suicidal thoughts, descriptions of depressive symptoms

notes: modern!au, soft!levi, depressed!reader, hurt/comfort, idk i needed this dont judge me

You had spent the night crying yourself to sleep again.

Prior to that, you had spent the entire day thinking that your brain was falling apart. Your mood went from 0-100 within the span of a second. There was no pattern. You'd be fine one minute and then swing to the other end of the emotional spectrum the next. It was exhausting.

If it wasn't for Levi and his unwavering support, you wouldn't be sure if you would still be alive. It was hell having to deal with this. If it wasn't for him, you'd be fully convinced that no one wanted you around.

Your eyes slowly peeled open as you stared at the empty ceiling above you. You felt like you were experiencing the world through a muffled filter. You heard and saw everything that was going on around you, but it felt like a lucid dream.

You couldn't move. Even getting your finger to twitch took all your energy.

Your eyes looked to the side and you saw that the sun was shining directly into the upper window.

You had slept in again.

Not only that, you had slept in much past the "normal" wakeup time.

You slowly tilted your head up to look at the clock resting on the edge of your nightstand.

2:00pm.

You had gone to bed the previous night at 7:00pm and then slept up until now. You haven't had a full meal in at least two days. You haven't showered for a week. Guilt tore away at what remaining self-love you had in you. Levi helped keep you together and you absolutely hated that he had to shoulder the burden that was keeping you around.

You turned back over to stare at the ceiling again, counting to yourself as you poured your energy into being able to freely move your fingers and toes. When you were finally able to open and close your fist at ease, you looked back at the clock again.

2:45pm.

You let out a defeated sigh. You weren't going to make it on time at this point. You had an appointment at 3:30pm for a bi-annual checkup for a medical condition that you had recently developed.

However, you figured that as long as you showed up in some capacity, no matter how little, you would count that as a win for the day. You could always just hop back into bed afterwards. All you had to do was make it in and hope the results indicated at least some improvement on your end.

~~~~~

"You need to lose weight. You need to exercise more. You need to get outside."

"Well, my depression makes that really hard so-"

"Losing weight will help with that. It'll help you manage your hormones and stabilize your mood."

You gripped at the blanket in rage, curling up into a ball, hoping that you would just shrink away and disappear. Getting up was a waste of time. The only thing that happened was you going into that shitty doctor's office to get berated and invalidated for an hour. Getting up was a mistake.

After arriving back home, you immediately dropped your stuff to the ground and climbed back into bed without even changing into your home clothes. Everything that had happened today made being awake for another minute seem like a living hell.

~~~~~

He knew something was wrong the minute he stepped through the door.

He had seen that your car had shifted its spot on the driveway, indicating that it had been used.

Levi looked forward into the dark apartment that you two shared, knowing that you were home. While he wouldn't have been too surprised at the fact that the lights were off normally, the fact that your car moved meant that you had gotten out of bed, left the house, and immediately went back in upon arriving home.

That in itself was already better compared to the past few days, but it didn't bring him any ease. Just because you made it out of the house didn't mean that you were doing any better.

Once he stepped inside and flipped on the light switch, he saw that your stuff had been haphazardly thrown on the ground, leading a trail into the bedroom.

He sighed, knowing that this behavior wasn't normal. Something had happened.

Levi peeked into the bedroom, a grim look appearing on his face once he saw you cocooned into the blankets. He slowly walked over and gently sat next to you, leaning down a bit so he could see your face.

"Still low today?" he asked quietly.

He heard you emit a quiet whine as you shuffled, burying yourself further into your fortress.

You hid in the dark safety of your bed for a few minutes before feeling the bed slightly shift and hearing your bedroom door close. You peeked out of the blanket and saw that Levi had left. Upon focusing more, you heard movement in the kitchen.

After about a minute, your neck started complaining from you maintaining your elevated position. Since you lacked the energy to fully readjust, you simply laid back down.

You heard the door open again after a while and you glanced over as you saw Levi bring over a mug of freshly brewed tea and a small bowl of soup.

Levi knew of the fact that you hadn't been eating properly for the past few days. While that thought was slightly distressing, he also knew he couldn't force you to eat—and he didn't want to anyway if it was just going to cause you more distress. Besides, he knew that you wouldn't be able to keep anything solid down in this state, so soup was the next best option.

You quickly buried yourself in the blanket again. Levi having to deal with you just lying around in bed was bad enough, but it broke your heart to think of all the extra effort he had to put in to take care of you. It only reinforced the thoughts in your head that continued to tell you that you were a burden.

You actively cowered as you heard him set the mug and bowl down before sighing.

He didn't sound annoyed, but he definitely sounded exasperated—or maybe exhausted. You couldn't tell.

"I made you tea."

You felt him sit down next to you again as your head poked back out. You slowly sat up, avoiding eye contact out of embarassment. While you wanted to continue hiding, you also knew that sipping on his brews provided you some of that comfort that you desperately needed right now.

You quietly sipped at the tea, while still avoiding eye contact.

"I saw the car moved," he spoke, glancing right at you.

You didn't answer.

You saw him tilt his head out of the corner of your eye as he spoke again.

"I assume you made it in?"

You didn't answer.

"It's okay if you didn't."

You felt your hand slightly shaking as he said that last phrase. He has said it over and over and over again whenever you were in these states.

It's okay.

He never knew if those words truly got through to you, but he went ahead and provided you that consistent reminder that no matter how bad things felt or how "useless" you felt, that you were enough.

You unsteadily placed the mug back onto the nightstand, still looking down.

"I did," you said quietly.

With the state he had found you in, and based off of how you responded just now, he was able to tell that it didn't go well. He didn't know the details as to what happened, but he didn't need to. All that mattered was that it went poorly and that you felt like shit because of it.

You felt him place his hand on your leg, giving it a gentle squeeze as you finally looked towards him.

"Almost everything was wrong," you whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Nearly everything that they could possibly measure was wrong," you spoke, your voice gradually increasing in volume. "Eating's wrong. Exercise is wrong. Even sleeping is wrong—and every time I tried to explain that it's impossible to keep track of all that when even dragging myself out of bed is impossible, they just ignored everything I was saying."

Levi quietly listened as you continued to describe your horrific experience with what was supposed to be a simple, routine check-up.

The past few days had been literal hell for you. It wasn't even that anything particularly bad happened. It was one of your occasional flare-ups that had been especially bad this time around. Your mood had been all over the place, your paranoia about everyone secretly plotting to abandon you had shot through the roof, and your self-hatred multiplied to the point that it was seething out of you.

"It's like the world just continues to tell me I'm defective. My brain's broken, my body's broken. Couldn't finish school. Can't keep a job," you said as you threw your hands in the air, feeling yourself getting heated and activated with every word you were saying.

You paused for a bit, taking deep breaths to try to calm yourself down.

"You're not defective, _____," Levi spoke.

You immediately averted your gaze. You didn't believe that for a single second.

Levi reached over and gently pushed at your shoulder to get your attention.

"Hey, look at me."

You didn't move.

He sighed, scooted forward, and gently grabbed onto your chin so he could turn you to face him. His eyes finally locked onto yours for the first time since he came home. He looked right into your eyes as he spoke.

"You are not defective. You are not broken."

You felt yourself wanting to shrink and hide again as he said those words. Although those words brought you comfort, they also stung, because they addressed your deeply rooted fears. You shook your head as you desperately tried to look back down and squirm out of his grasp, feeling tears building up in your eyes.

"A lot has happened in your life and that's okay."

He never took his eyes off you as he gently placed his other hand on the side of your face as a gesture of comfort.

"I love you for who you are and anyone else who questions you is a fucking idiot."

Upon feeling his touch and hearing those words, you placed one of your hands on his, using his presence to ground yourself.

You shakily nodded at him, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you saw his gaze soften.

Upon seeing your tears, he pulled you into a tight hug, giving you a gentle squeeze as you silently cried against him.

You were so, so, grateful that he was there. At this point, he was probably the only person in the world that didn't make you feel like a complete and utter disaster. You buried your face into him, silently wishing that you could stay here forever and forget all of the other things in your life that continuously kicked you back down.

Levi placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"Eat that soup before it gets cold," he said, slightly pulling away before pulling you in to a gentle kiss, wiping the stray tears off your face. "Depending on how you feel I'll take you on a drive afterwards. It'll at least help you get some air."

You gave him a small smile and nodded at him, slightly reaching out as he stood back up and grabbed your now empty mug to take back into the kitchen. As you watched him walk down the hallway, you felt that the heaviness in your heart had lifted ever so slightly.

You felt like shit. There was no doubting that—but the fact that Levi stuck with you despite all of your struggles, the fact that he has fully accepted you and loved you for who you were, and the fact that he has pulled through every time you found yourself like this was enough for you to forget your misery at this very moment, and simply allow yourself to be bathed in his comforting presence.

A/N: i'm leaving the condition vague so people can maybe relate to it better idk. sorry if this sucks, as i said its purely self-indulgent because levi fluff helps make me feel less bad

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 1 year

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Hello! I just recently found your RoR post and I love it! Can I request terminally ill!reader who tried to hide her sickness because she doesn't want to worry them only for a few of those with sharper senses realize something is wrong with her?

-Terminal, that was the one word that stuck with you after your doctor’s appointment. You had been feeling a bit off here lately, dizzy spells, your appetite all over the place, and migraines.

-You did the blood work and the CT scans and all the other testing your doctor wanted, with hopes it would give you the answer to your mysterious affliction.

-A terminal disease was the last thing you had expected, all emotions hit you at once, shock, anger, hopelessness, fear, dread, and finally sorrow, as you had broken down in tears, sobbing into your hands.

-Your doctor gave you only about a 30% chance of beating this, with surgery and treatment, and that it would be up to you if you wanted to go through the surgery and the treatment.

-You were then faced with the prospect of telling your family with this news, having decided to go home to make your decision with all of your adoptive family.

-You know they would support you if you decided to go through with the treatment and surgery, but you were scared to tell them that there was only a small chance of you surviving and beating this.

-Once home, you snuck around to the back door, not wanting to get caught just yet, you needed to hype yourself up first.

-You nearly leapt out of your skin when you walked into the kitchen, through the back door, and heard Jack, “Hello Y/N, how was your appointment?”

-You fake a smile at him, trying not to look panicky, as you knew he could easily see that you were lying and full of fear and dread, his eyes instantly narrowing as your spoke, “It was fine-fine! I need to go clean up, see you later!”

-You managed to get away from with without any trouble, trying to get to the stairs to the second floor when you ran into Lu Bu who instantly glared down at you, smelling that something was off about your scent, even more so.

-Adam could instantly tell you were fibbing to him, as did Odin, they all knew you were hiding something, but they saw how scared you looked and decided to let you come to them.

-You called a family meeting, which was a little unheard of, as you never called them, and you told them all the truth, the findings of the doctor and what you were told about the chance of your survival.

-The meltdown was loud, lots of yelling, tears, and other general outrage. Some were pissed that you didn’t say anything right away, but as you broke down in tears, they were easily able to see why. You were scared.

-The surgery was a success, your whole family there, taking up most of the waiting room, waiting to hear from your doctor and when they got this good news, a chorus of cheers rang through the room, startling other patients and family members.

-Your treatment took more out of you than the surgery did, it made you hurt so much, you wanted to give up, just so you would stop hurting.

-Your family didn’t let you. They stayed by your side, holding your hands and comforting you through the pain, and you prevailed, showing them that you were just as strong as any of them were and when you were finally cleared, the party afterwards was almost overwhelming.

-Your favorite foods and desserts were there, you got so many hugs and kisses, and everyone looked so happy that you were better now. You were still with them.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader

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goldnrry · 8 months

Text

Fic idea I probably will never write but would love to read under the cut

(Sorry this is not a girl’s girls supporting girls concept because i like drama)

You are a fan, normal girl with a boring 9 to 5 job you hate and have an one night stand with harry by some miracle (you lifetime dream) (this is absolutely self inserted and im half embarrassed)

Maybe you meet at a bar or something or you occasionally do pilates together or you even work at his dentist office

so maybe it’s a reoccurring thing or just a one night thing

After a while you find you you are pregnant and try to talk to him but it’s hard to reach him and when you finally say fuck it and goes to his house to tell him he is already dating someone or is back with his ex he was on a break with when he got you pregnant but you tell him, very shyly now because you feel like you are ruining something and the girl is not welcoming

Alternative: he sees your dms asking to meet up and he very politely declines telling you he is with someone and you are like oh ok loosing the bravery you had to tell him, but one night you say fuck it and text “im pregnant” turns off your phone in a panic and opens you phone hours later to your inbox flooded with him

Anyways you run some tests, baby is really his and you start talking more now that you are planning on coparenting

And you actually get along really well because you share the same comedy braincells

And you try to not let it show how much you like him because he has a gf and you dont want him to be with you only because you are pregnant with his baby, but like… you have a crush obviously

But he is so gentle and protective of you, there where a few occasions where he left his gf in the middle of something to pic you up or your are no feeling well and it starts taking a tool on his relationship

Scene ideas:

first of all when finally comes to his senses he likes you and break things off with his gf he casually calls you at night asking what your craving of the day is so he can bring it to you, then he tells you he broke things of and you are like “oh are you ok what happened” he looks at you for a while before replying he realised he’d rather spend his time with you two while touching your bump

Maybe you get invited to his birthday or something with all his friends and girlfriend that is near a body of water so you have a bikini on), harry is always touching you small bump and at sone point he gives in to a intrusive tough and start pressing kisses to your belly, you stay wide eyed and frozen because thats waaaay to intimate, his girlfriend is shooting darts with her eyes and the whole party is 🫣 looking between you twi and the girlfriend but he is oblivious and maybe you gently try to call him out like “harry maybe that was too much for our situation”

Maybe he is avoiding drinking and any other drugs in support of you and his gf gets annoyed “she’s not even here with us you can have a fucking glass”

Emotional moments on doctor’s appointments and buying baby stuff

Harry telling you he will stay with you, you just have to say so to him and he will, and you are crying saying of course you want you have the biggest feelings and admiration for him and now that you got to know him you love him but you are terrified of him just being excited about the pregnancy and he will get bored of you and leave you for somebe else he develops an administration for

Idk lots of yearning and angst and tension but with an happy ending

He keeps denying for a while and staying in his relationship, but there are also moments where he blurts out things like “fuck I really want to kiss you” when he is dropping you off with his car one night and you are like obviously i do too so much, but you have a girlfriend, are you really into me or are you turned on just because i pregnant with your baby and the moment you get bored you will trade me for someone else?

And a looooooooooot of him being an aquarius man with commitment issues

And he just fucking loves watching how much you are loving being pregnant 🥹 you always have a hand on your bump making this face🥹 and you even blurt out sometimes thinks like “i look so cuuuuuute” but it breaks his heart when overheard you venting out to a friend about how much you love being pregnant but you are so sad you dont get to do this with your forever person

HE CALLS YOU MAMA IN THE CUTES MOST ENDEARED VOICE

Idk if i want the baby to be born on his birthday or for you two to be together yet buttttt he wants the baby next to him when he blow his bday candles so is either the baby in his arms or you standing next to him

#if anyone want to write it👀

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katyspersonal · 11 months

Note

002. Eileen. Now

My ask box is all crows now, huh? x)

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

002 I Give me a character & I will tell you

• How I feel about this character

I like her, but for some reason I do not think all that often about her? She is just one of those characters who is so crucial for the story itself and for the lore that I kinda... stop noticing them and take them for granted? It is hard to explain. I feel like she could certainly use way more exploration with her backstory and depths of her personality and relationships - that includes me too! Basically I think I am not being fair on her myself because she is just as important as Maria, Adeline, Valtr, Fauxsefka, Gascoigne... you know, THE core cast.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Hmmm... I don't find Eileen very shippable, since her occupation suggests a great dose of emotional isolation. For all she knows, anyone she loves could go blood-drunk and she'd have to hunt them! I entertained the idea of the post-game scenario where she and Henriett raise the daughters of Gascoigne and Viola together now, but even in that case it'd probably work better as grandma + aunt taking care of them as a ship. I do think she used to see some women back in her youth, when she was just a student/doctor, even before the plague took her own place. Crack ship idea though - Eileen x Arianna! Thumbs up, thumbs down?

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Not going to call ANY NAMES *cough coooooough*, but I think the mother-son reminiscent bond between her and the Crow of Cainhurst is the top tier of the headcanons! I remember ancient times when I thought that Eileen and Crow were not even that familiar, and instead he simply mimicked appearance of Hunter of Hunters to not get questioned when he kills a hunter (important for his goals), but I've changed my mind since then! Doomed mother-son bond for life!!

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Not really an opinion, but rather a pet-peeve. We know from the lore that there WERE other Hunters of Hunters before Eileen, and only one was appointed at the given time. Presumably, Crow of Cainhurst is an apprentice and that's it!

But at times I see takes that have Eileen as the one and ONLY Hunter of Hunters that ever was, who appeared long ago and was the one since Old Hunters prime...? Example off the top of my head - that one manga centering around Maria (that I never properly read...). You know, with gingerhead white-garb Adeline (just like miiiiiine!!), super sigma male asshole Laurence, Willem recognizing as the pope of the Healing Church before he yeeted... all that. Of course I am not saying to go and write several OCs, but... Eileen was not the only one, clearly... come onnnnn.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I want to see where Eileen's shack is at, so we know in what house to visualize her in the after-game events in which she totally doesn't die but simply retires because of health issues... She DEFINITELY just retires and simply stops fighting, right...? That's canon, you know? Of course you know that haha.,..

my OTP:

Again, I personally do not really have one that is romantic... I remember I used to be a big Eileen x Valtr stan, but that one indeed became platonic since then, especially since I shifted towards headcanoning her as a lesbian. However, as far as fan-stuff goes in general, I do support Eileen x Djura shippers! Very cool and based ship, definitely deserves its popularity! ...if 'popular content' and 'Eileen' are even compatible things fdanhfhds HELPPPP

my cross over ship:

Hmmm... None yet, however, I think in the crossover verse she'd be more likely to find love than in BB canon! I have a feeling that I'll find a great match for her somewhere in ER or DS, actually! .....yes, it has been far too long since I've touched any other universe besides Soulsborne...

a headcanon fact:

Like I mentioned in some other post, I think she was a student, learning to be a doctor! ...and then just a doctor. She wanted to stay in the university as a teacher, but could not stand aside when her place was plagued, and became a doctor! I do think her beak mask is the only thing remaining from the clothes in which she originally appeared in Yharnam!

Thank you for the ask!!!!

#bloodborne #eileen the crow #ask meme #ask replies #bloodborne headcanons #i am better not seeing how old some asks are....#why i am so bad at them argh #it is not something personal i am just booboo the fool and not very focused #(by not very i mean at all)

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terrence-silver · 1 year

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How do you think Terry handles going to the doctor appointments by himself? Whether he gets good news or bad news I feel bad that he has no one beside him for support :(

I think Terry is used to it, you know? It is how he chooses to conduct things.

Meticulously.

Antiseptically.

Tactically.

I think next to nobody knows the private Terry.

Terry at the doctor's office. Terry going to therapy. Terry after the 80's, in some elite resort where Billionaires go on an 'impromptu break from their public life', which is really just a code for 'he's booked himself a getaway at gated community rehabilitation center and he isn't taking any calls until further notice'. Traumatized war veteran Terry having nightmares and possibly training himself to hide it all. Terry with bizarrely mundane and day-to-day problems. Terry and his concealed triggers. Cocaine addict Terry. Terry in remission. Terry licking his own wounds. Domestic Terry. Terry brumating. Terry's real self. Terry the day-to-day man behind his various masks. Terry drinking. Terry drunk. Terry scheming. Terry's insecurities. Terry with the flaws. Terry and his genuine opinions, no matter how messed up...or even admirable. Terry and the full extent of his emotional capacity. Next to nobody actually witnesses that. And one could even argue he doesn't want just about anyone to witness that seeing as how he has a deeply ingrained sense of discomfort with any perceived or imaginary weakness, and going to a doctor, for example, is definitely a weakness. Because one is sick, there's the implication, or at least not in their prime of their strength, and in Terry's world, a sick, or only partially adequate man is weak. A broken soldier. Every human does it --- have their annual check-ups, but Terry doesn't want to appear vulnerable in anyone's eyes, be it friend or foe, especially not genuinely vulnerable. Artificially vulnerable? Infinitely better, because there's a veil of pretense, compartmentalization and acting behind everything he does, so it doesn't actually affect him; quite the contrary. It is amusing. Especially when people fall for his facades and all goes according to his devises and plans for the hour. But, actual, raw vulnerability?

No.

His secretaries and most inner circle staff call his doctors like this is no different from any other arranged business meeting (because it isn't), or better yet, his doctors already knows when to expect him because Mr. Silver is their only patient and they're exclusively on his payroll and available to nobody else and he does pay handsomely.

He doesn't share the people in charge of his body and its maintenence.

Much like a wounded serpent, Terry tends to strategically slip under the radar when he's doing bad and re-emerge anew with a fresh skin when the time is right. That's what he and John Kreese have in common. When he is struggling with mental health, physical health, finances, Terry is unseen, behind the scenes and nobody knows if he can help it.

Terry doesn't want anyone witnessing his high end, private doctor (contractually bound to extensive privacy) prescribing him medications, measuring his pressure, scanning him, injecting him, rehabilitating him, dosing him pills to get him off of other, more dangerous pills, fixing all the cracks and doing whatever a doctor does, because, much like an animal bearing its neck, Terry feels seen and exposed, almost naked during times like this --- and in fact, he is more worried about the vulnerability of even being in a situation like this in the first place, even from a trusted, professional trained medical worker that has been vetted time and time again and undoubtedly paid a fortune to tend to Mr. Silver exclusively than he is worried about any results under the sun. The lack of control he has; now that is harrowing to Terry. He'd rather cut his own chest open with a surgical scalpel if it meant he is in charge of the blade.

If it means he bleeds on his own accord.

Does he still privately crave that someone was devoted enough to him and him alone to be his side in times like this, even with his walls up? Even when he is just a man, doing things any man does? When he's just a man that is, dare I say, a bit weak, his heart being scanned, his lungs checked for abnormalities, a lifetime of vices coming to bite him in the ass? Does he privately crave that someone was there, with nothing to gain, even though he ensured nobody sees him in a state of exposure, when he is wide open for attack? Does he wish someone matched at least an ounce of his own innate loyalty that could move mountains, if need be?

Ironically, always.

Much like any person. More than any person.

Which is what makes Terry so scary and...ordinary.

#terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #character analysis #hospital #illness #tw; deliberate social self-isolation

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lilskzlove · 2 years

Text

•daddy tales•

seventeen/eighteen ~best person~/nineteen

summary: you and chan used to date. those were good times, but it ended in a horrible way. and a lil bean called jake was always there for you when you were down. you and chan tried to stay good friends and everything was going well…until your life flipped upside down. maybe he was never the one for you in the end…

warnings: language, alcohol consumption, little of aggression

a/n: i’ve decided to make it a written part bc this situation with chan was missing action, but i hope you like it🫶🏻

tag list:

@starjane312 ❣️ @hyunniecrush ❣️ @thiefyeonjun ❣️ @obssessed-and-depressed ❣️

as your hand was about to lose contact with jake's soft skin you heard a loud knock on the front door. jake threw his phone on the bed and jogged up to the door to check who was disturbing your precious time. you couldn't see him anymore, but you heard him unlocking the door and some muffled sounds reached your bedroom.

"who is it jakie?!" you yelled through the apartment.

"no one. they are leaving now." jake said, but something was telling you to go there and check if everything's okay so you got your pregnant self up with the rest of your energy and waddled to the hall. and there he was, standing in your doorway, one hand on a frame and a bottle of alcohol in the other.

"chris, what are you doing here? it's late." you crossed your arms on your chest and stared him in the eyes from the distance.

"yn, baby, please come back to me." he whined trying to pass jake who was blocking him from going inside. you stepped back looking at jake.

"hyung, it's late and you're drunk. i asked you to not disturb yn now. she can't be stressed now." blond boy tried to make him step back so he's as far away from you as he can, but chan slapped his hand off of his shoulder with anger.

"who the fuck do you think you are? little baby boy that yn feels sorry for since you've been liking her for so long. she's going to dump you the moment she gives birth to MY BABY. she knows better than to raise a child in a broken family." chan could barely keep himself on his own feet. his words didn't affect jake, he knew better than that.

"chan, you either leave now or i will call the police. it's 10 pm for fuck sake. stop causing a scene and sober up. i'm not going to talk to you when you're like this." you came up to the door and stood behind jake.

"baby, go to the bedroom, i'll handle it, okay?" he looked at you with a worried expression. you shook your head and moved your attention to chris again. he looked miserble, his hair were dry, face pale and he had his wrist support on as if he was working too much.

"look what you've done to yourself. you look like a disaster. you're drinking again. you can't even think straight. i told you to talk to me when you grow up. is this growing up in your opinion? becasue for me it looks like you are going down the hill again. chris, you talk shit to and about jake, but he's the one taking care of me. he takes me to every doctor's appointment, he drives me to the store at 11 pm so i can get the cake i really want. he helps me build the nursery, he does everything he can to be the best daddy for a kid that isn't even his. he never turned his back on me. he could've left us the moment i started yelling at him in the middle of the night because he was breathing too loud, but he didn't. do you really think i'm going to dump him when the baby's here? well, you couldn't be more wrong. this man is the most amazing person i've ever met. he doesn't complain. when i need him, he's by my side in a matter of minutes. he's able to drop everything for me. are you able to do it for your child?" tears started streaming down your face, every emotion you've been holding in just flew out. you never wanted to hurt chris, but life's unpredictable. we don't know when we meet our THE ONE. yet you knew that chan wasn't that person.

chris looked down on the floor, eyes full of tears. you've seen him cry so many times. especially when you were still teenagers and his dad was screaming at his little brother. but those tears were different. those tears were disappointment in himself. he started sobbing and dropped to his knees. it was like a movie scene. if you were going with this logic you would’ve came up to him, he would hug your round belly and start apologizing. but you didn't want his apologies. they meant nothing from his mouth at this point. he had to own up to all of his mistakes.

"this conversation is done chris. go home, sober up and think about everything i just told you. if you don't get your shit together, you're not coming near YOUR child. am i clear?" you wiped your tears angrily with your sweater.

"yes ma'am." he spoke softly and got up. "i'm sorry jake. i shouldn't have said all of those things." he stepped out of the apartment.

"hyung, grow up. you have only five months left before your life changes for good. i won't let you hurt yn again. this is the last time you step into this place in a state like this. she doesn't deserve it, okay? you know that she's the best thing ever happened to you. just keep thinking this way and everything will work out, alright?" jake put his hand out for chris to shake it. he accepted it grabbing tight.

"i forgot how fucking nice you are." they laughed slightly. chris turned around and left. jake locked the door and quickly came up to you taking you into his arms.

"i love you so fucking much, yn." he said into your shoulder kissing it softly. you pulled him away and looked him in the eyes.

"what did you just say?" big smile creeping onto your face.

"i love you, yn." he presented you his biggest smile and cupped your face. "i love you so much. you don't even know how much you mean to me." you put your hands on his, tears threatning to fall down your face again. you let out a little sniffle and kissed him deeply, yet so sincerly.

"i love you too, jakie." you whispered looking him in the eyes.

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