#he just likes to mess with Dave
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Dave: Five made me a coffee this morning and winked at me when he handed me the cup
Dave: Ive never been more scared of a drink in all my life
#hes not done anything to it#he just likes to mess with Dave#the umbrella academy#tua#tua shitpost#tua incorrect quotes#five hargreeves#david katz#tua dave
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listen. please just hear me out. dave and his animal girl gfs
#PLEASE THEYRE SO SILLY#just dave and his poor irony poisoned heart together with two of the most unapologetically silly and joyful and “cringey” people#who are never gonna judge him for all the things he judges himself more#they can all just have fun together!! they can be kids damnit!#and admittedly davejade is the much more developed thing at play here but i like nepeta being involved too. she just fits right in#oh and this is jadenep too! they are very silly girls and i think they can get up to some lighthearted mischief together#these tags are a mess. i just like them theyre funny and i think they make each other better#davejadenep#davejade#jadenep#davenep#the obvious ship name is. davepeta.#but i dont wanna clog up their tag#jade harley#nepeta leijon#dave strider#homestuck#no id#undescribed#my art
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The thing I love about the Orin kidnappings is that all of her imitated companion voices are a *fraction* higher and reedier/unbalanced and than their regular voices - I think that's a neat detail as a give away. Just subtle enough that you might not be able to spot it right away, but jarring enough that you can tell something is different right off the bat.
#BG3 Musing#also dave jones delivering that 'bellyfull of orphan flesh' with the little titter of a laugh SIR I AM GOING TO THROTTLE YOU#Aside from Halsin who's voice is already very deep and therefore you can tell very easily when it jumps up an octave#the other three are so subtle you might miss it but if you listen closely it's evident the VA's are pitching on the higher end#excellent little detail#also 'halsin' is the only one who is crying throughout so his voice sounds more choked and stuffed up and minty sounds terrified#halsin is also just a whimpering mess like a kicked dog and gale sounds like he's *mad* with it#excellent voice over performances bravo 👏#the orin kidnaps are so ripe for angst exploration
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I hate vagueposting in fandom give me a direct link and a list of reasons why I'd be as upset as you
#luly talks#like i saw someone complain about mischaracterization like brother. please link me bc im not even finding content myself#also i saw them fandom being obvs dayshift go that's too crude!! over characterization and now im like insanely curious#bc. like. have. have we played the same games?#have you seen the words that leave the mouth of those men.#like what DID you fucking see that's too crude???#like if we're complaining about mischaracterization then the goal should be to stick to canon and they're fucking.#bad sentence ender they're havign sex but they're just fucking nuts.#in fact the fandom cuts a lot of slack from these ppl A#JACK ESPECIALLY the things this guy has said not only in 1 but also in 3#flipside dave voice i know we're child murderers and all but that's messed up. that's all im saying#ngl i was trying to find the original picture to quote it accurately but instead i found me and blood comparing randy to purps#when i was doing his bad route#i miss randy I'd go torture him again today#WAIT I FORGOT HE ATE CAR KEYS WHY DID HE DO THAT.#i need to go back to that man he's.#do dissectable#top 10 guys I'd cannibalize and then catch an illness from#sorry i got super off topic
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Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.
I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.
Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.
Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha
Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo
But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight
And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him
Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes
Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha
#speaking of i was supposed to post smth last night abt dray and iris too but i got so tired i forgot cbndnd#now i really forgot what its supposed to be lmfao#but damn tho w his cool kid persona he really gives off dave vibes hahah#idk its just that i know despite how he is he cares a bit too much but never ever shows it#bc emotions will only hurt you more yknow so he keeps it all in#idk i think that while hes good at hiding his emotions hes so shit at handling them#like w kieran he knows itd mess w kieran if he gets beaten again by the player#and how kieran doesnt like being called ex champ anymore as hes apologizing to drayton#but idk i think hed be the type to hold grudges bc yeah hes shit at handling emotions#he means well yknow its all fun and games for him#but sometimes payback is payback. and for him payback is fair#pokemon hcs#an ask and an answer#anon
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John has just ordered a knuckle sandwich with a side of blade
Based off of this ridiculous screenshot I thought was funny:
I rewrote it for obvious reasons
#I love the inverse trope of where the younger sibling is protective of the older one#when its not creepy though#for me dave is protective of rose when it comes to certain subjects since he really just#doesnt want to see her hurt#not like he would admit that straight up though#I think its a worry for him since well. bro.#so i think he would take on some of an opposing role with his sister#not to the point of coddling her because he respects boundaries but just being a deterrent#for anyone who wants to fuck around and find out that is#sorry sorry had to babble about that#anyway#r.i.p john he fucked around dave and found out#wait#that sounds wrong-#...keeping that in that's funny#damn i need to work on phrasing#homestuck fanart#homestuck#grimdorks#shitpost#dave strider#rose lalonde#john egbert#you could also read this as entirely platonic#and that john is just messing with dave#either way its funny as hell to me
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Anyway t4t Junedavesprite (transfem June) (agender any pronouns davesprite) (they're birdfriend and girlfriend) (they're both struggling *HARD* after the game) (they help each other through it) (they're gay) (they're gay) (they're so fucking gay).
You agree.
Reblog.
#davesprites like 'yk you can just. not be a dude right?' but then refuses to accept that *they* might have gender shit going on too#june starts calling her random pronouns to see what sticks and it turns out! it all does!#also davesprite absolutely said birdfriend as an ironic bit before realising 'huh this kinda feels right'#junes like 'i got a new name! its your turn now :B' and starts calling davesprite dave#it refuses to admit how much they like it#(she really likes it)#dave just gives up on wearing shirts but discovers that 'haha yeah skirts are the only clothes i can wear easily isnt that wild'#(he refuses to admit they like how swishy skirts are)#and they're still depressed messes but theyre trying so so hard and theyre trans and gay and in love and <333#i love them your honour#me.txt
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AAAAAARGHH!!!!!!!!! OK FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i do like dirk now. whatever
#had another dream we were buddies it was cool actually#so. whatever. i cave#i think its just cause he reminds me so fucking much of my friend like it is fucking uncanny how alike they are#so whenever i read his dialogue im just like. hehe thats my friend#also. his first interaction with dave (thing i was crying about last night) is so. funny and messed up and well written and weird#its just. so sad. he was really really looiking forward to meeting him#like......... for his whole LIFE he was looking forward to it#and he finally gets to meet his hero and hes so nervous and trying to stay cool and all#hes just. starstruck. and he was really really REALLY looking forward to that conversation#and his personal hero just. makes it a point to let him know how much he fucking hates being there#hes like god i cant wait to go fight that bad guy and dirk has 2 sit there like#ah........ so hed rather risk his life to a maniac with lord english poweres covered in blood than talk to me............. ahhh...........#its just. YOU KNOWWWWW#its endearing. they managed to make it so painfully awkward#they made it SO AWKWARD!!!!!!!!! even worse than roxy and dave straight up called her hot multiple times#and she in return kept prying for information about his love life#and also even when dave said normal things he was awkward as fuck. he asked a question then just Didnt work with it#like........ isnt the point of getting to know people that you ask a question they answer it and then you talk about that topic awhile?#isnt it like.......... more of a pointer on what you can talk about to keep the other persons interest rather than. a genuine question#urgh anyway i fucking give up. i like dirk So what fucking sue me#hey btw i totally forgot about this when you said it but jade when you told me you wanted to fuck dirk what was that about#hes also gay. thats like a whole Thing even though it isnt#care to elaborate on that by any chance. cause id like some clarification on what you meant by that#mainly...................... what part of that man is fuckable....................................#AHH!!!!!!!! EVIL SPIDER!!!!!!!!
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You can never trust one man to save Star Wars.
#I’m not exactly glad that my suspicions of Jon Favreau messing up came true#he does bare responsibility for the live action Disney remakes#anti disney star wars#him and Dave Filoni are just overrated fanboys#ugh#sorry to everyone who liked the mandolorian
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TECH CULT GO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 💛⁉️💡⚡️🖤
#Solid State#Solid State Webtoon#Webtoon#PHEW where to begin#That character at the beginning may be important I’m just saying 😉😉😉#It’s so creepy they’re all just lined up like that#Jamilah looks so cute in WNDR tho#Hook you straight up to the system DIAN I DON’T THINK THAT’S A GOOD IDEA#WITH THE STUPID HEADSET TOO LIKE BRUH#I MEAN I DON’T AGREE WITH WHAT THE LACKEY IS DOING BUT I WILL AGREE WITH HIM DON’T GO IN THERE— and he’s in there#TINY WNDR DIANS THEY’RE SO CUTE!!!!#Need a Dian sticker to slap on my devices#To protect them#Obvi#WEIRD PRIEST MAN YOU’RE JUST SO WEIRD#WHERE’D YOUR SHIRT GO#WHYYYYY MUST YOU MESS WITH THE CABLES#AND THAT’S WHY GENTLES AND LADYMEN THAT THIS CHAPTER IS CALLED SURGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#BC OF THE SURGE THAT’S GONNA KILL EVERYONE#YES DAVE GET HIM OUT OF THERE#NO DIAN DON’T GO BACK IN ARE YOU GETTING SHOCKED RIGHT NOW I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRRRR#NEXT WEEK CHAPTER FINALE EVERYBODY ARE WE FREAKING READY? NO? OKAY!
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#showaddywaddy#i wonder why#1981#WHY DO I LAUGH AT THINGS LIKE#THE CAMERA IS PANNING ACROSS TREVOR AND ROD AND DAVE#AND MALCOLM'S JUST IN THE BACKGROUND TAKING A STROLL ACROSS THE STAGE#he's just quietly walking around behind everybody with the guitar omg#he looks like he had to tell trevor something#or maybe he's just messing with him#it's malcolm so i vote for the second one#also dave's tiny little hops backwards#i love that#i love him#i love all of them#showaddywaddy gifs
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All that frustration about Rosebot “cheating” on Kanaya should be directed to Davebot blaming his relationship with Jade for being the reason why him and Karkat aren’t close when nobody was actually forcing him to even do that
#I always see ppl go on abt how candy kanaya deserves better n yeah#but also you can’t turn around and then be like ohhh commander karkat misses his Dave 🥺🥺 fuck jade#commander karkat deserves better too smh#honestly if ck gets with davebot I think it’d be very messed up bc ck would just be downplaying his own self worth#like he’s just meant to be there sitting around waiting
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It does suck only 3 people have read Vigilante 1983 actually. You guys dont even know Dave kept calling Adrian “Judge Chase” even when Adrian hated him and wanted him dead. Even right before he died he was still calling him Judge because he idolized him and saw him as a smart authority figure even till the end. And you dont even KNOW
#He wasnt just like doing it to Adrian's face even in Dave's own inner monolouge he always called Adrian Judge Chase#Dave is such a mess Im glad he got into the show by fusing with Adrian.
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dave is more cis than caliborn and in this essay I will—
#this was made bcus sm1 on tiktok called cal cis 😔#w the 'cis guy cringe is no match for.... t guy swag!!!' and dirk was the t guy rigjt#im not arguing dirks cisness i think theyre genderfluid gay t girl ok#but dave......#listen i hc him as transmasc like anyone does but..........#if i had to choose one#im sorry dave ur gettin hit w the cis#i cant make a cherub *period* cis ok it just doesnt make sense#like sure cal could be cis in the way he n lliope are siblings ok#which is. they fuckinf arent ???????#they dont even know what being gay is guys#sorry i just hate people applying human relational concepts to the cherubs#like yes they were made by a human. but you cannot look at the cals and tell me if they were species swapped they would be the same people#they are inseparable from their species and i cannot take this misinformation !!!!!!!#like i dont like species swaps in general cus its just. a completely different social structure but like#cherubs are celestial beings representations of the concepts of creation/sustenance and destruction/control#and they turn into giant snakes when they mate#like literally i just. cant. deal with people pretending like theyre comparable to humans or trolls.#not to mess w ur headcanons or whatever but their blood type has infinitely more to do with their identity as a species than their gender#caliborn and calliope being the omly cherubs were exposed to sucks#because theyre so heavily influenced by non cherub culture#but even then. theyre not cis trans gay or straight. NO THEYRE NOT GAY EITHER#like yes theyre gay but that means. literally nothing to them.#in the cherub way? theyre 'straight'. but ppl arent out here calling them straight are they?#i have written a very bad essay in the tags#it seems
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okay but when the team actually starts calling the reader and aaron mom and dad behind their backs and one day someone lets it slip out in front of them??
i just… aaron’s reaction?????
the parentals
i love this dynamic SO MUCH cw; fem!bau!reader, established relationship, fluff <3
as you and aaron entered the bullpen, you were both quick to notice the others huddled around spencer's desk, surely for a new session of physics magic.
a smile immediately twitched at aaron's lips, tossing you a mischievous look. as long as it didn't make a mess, or a disruption - per his and reid's previous discussions - he really didn't mind the recurring demonstrations.
but would he ever miss an opportunity to get the blood rushing in this scenario - never.
"be nice." you teased, laughing softly under your breath as you followed him over.
"i'm always nice." aaron playfully insisted, those brown eyes flickering in that way that just melted your heart. "what do you mean?"
"better be careful," emily's warning came into earshot as you neared, completely oblivious to the two of you - the timing just perfect. "or else dad's gonna ground you."
aaron's expression quirked at the title, his eyebrows lightly furrowing.
"oh please," spencer said, his fingers making quick work of whatever the experiment happened to be. "he's too busy with mom-"
jj's eyes happened to lift right at mom, made direct eye contact with you, and immediately choked back a laugh. some horror timidly filled her eyes, and she didn't cover up her sound too adequately. it caused the others to instantly look up too, and freeze.
"busted." jj mumbled, her gaze finding the ground.
aaron's smile resurfaced, crossing his arms. his tone was playful, yet confused and utterly amused nonetheless. "dad?"
spencer flushed. "uh..."
"oh c'mon. cut the crap." emily interrupted with an eye roll, looking between the two of you. "like it's not shocking at this point. just look at what the two of you were about to do, lecture us-"
"hey no," with a laugh you cut in, arching an eyebrow. "i don't lecture."
"exactly. he does," emily crossed her arms also with a smitten smirk - her point thoroughly exhibited. "you're the flexible one. see, mom and dad."
"i always thought rossi was dad." aaron expressed openly, a small chuckle shaking through his chest.
"no, you were always dad," jj shook her head, "rossi was mom, until," once again, her eyes found yours, smiling softly this time. "until someone else came around, and took on the role wholeheartedly."
you grinned, exchanging a quick, loving glance with aaron. "what's dave now, then?"
"old."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds drabble#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch imagine#criminal minds x fem!reader
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God fucking dammit. I may or may not have created a new AU.
...DSaF: Nightmare au...
[Scampering away]
#it isn't quite what it sounds like#basically Jack is in a seemingly endless nightmare#and some weird fucking nightmare logic causes a twisted representation of Dave to follow and mess with him throughout his nightmare#Henry is also there but he's just a pink Fredbear plush that id#* is just following Jack??? He's pissed about being a plush but can't do anything about it#also did I mention that Dave's appearance is extremely twisted? like the motherfucker is extremely tall and has rabbit ears#he's just unnerving in the best way in my opinion#ramblings from the patch#the others (Steven peter and the rest) are there however its hard to put into words what/where they are#i can't fucking put into words this au's story#and all this due to me having a nightmare that felt like a real life event
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