there's something horrifying about knowing that something doesn't have to happen, but also knowing that it inevitably will because you have no real power to stop it

TW // serious medical talk This is a really important update about what's going on. I'm copying/pasting the text from my Twitlonger post. Everything is under a read more.

Hey everyone. I've been inactive quite a bit due to family emergencies that have popped up.

I normally don't talk about these things publicly, but it's gotten so bad I've decided to give some sort of an update for my social media.

My father is currently in the hospital. On Tuesday (April 11th) he was found unconscious for up to two hours in the lumber department at a Home Depot store nearby where we live. He has a more severe case of type 2 diabetes and his blood sugar was found to be around 780 during this incident. He refused medical treatment but the Home Depot staff refused to let him drive home on his own as his condition could put himself and others at risk if he were to go behind the wheel.

He seemed a little out of it when I went to go see him the next day on Wednesday (April 12th). I assumed he was tired from the previous day's incident and that his medications might have been taking a while to kick in. I went to see him to pick up the car keys for our other van so I could pick up the van from the Home Depot parking lot. My father lives separate from us at the house that my mom owns. It's the same house she got in early 2021 that I've been trying to renovate from time to time. Me and my mother live in the condo unit we've had since early 2009.

On Saturday (April 15th) I was headed to my weekend delivery job. I was driving the family van since my regular car is currently in the shop as of writing this. I decided to stop by the house to drop off the other house keys and lockbox keys that my dad had attached to the van's key fob. When he answered the door I immediately knew something was wrong. He was showing signs of what looked like a typical stroke (left side of his body and face was mostly paralyzed, slurred and slowed speech, significant mental confusion). I called an ambulance for him after contacting my mother, my sister, and a close family friend about it.

He was taken to the emergency room and his fasting blood sugar was 465. The medical staff at the hospital tried bringing his blood sugar down and he got sleepy quickly. He's not in a coma, but he's been asleep since then and they haven't been able to get him to fully wake up. He also is unable to wake up on his own. I eventually found out that he hasn't been taking any pill medication for his diabetes and other ailments since November of 2022. He's supposed to take daily insulin injections for his blood sugar, but I found out that his most recent insulin injections he had expired in April of 2022.

I will give a more thorough update on his hospital stay and condition once he is out of the hospital, since things are still in progress with him. I've been going around updating my aunts and uncles on his side of the family (he has about seven or eight siblings; I don't know all of them since he's not great at keeping in touch with others). I've also been scrambling around to keep my mother, my sister, my friends, my partners, and close family friends about his condition as the hours and days go on. I'm his only kid and his next of kin so I've had to go back and forth on updating everyone. Once he's able to wake up on his own and is coherent, I'll have to discuss with him on becoming his power of attorney for healthcare in case anything serious happens in the future where he's unable to make medical decisions for himself.

On top of this, my mother also has her own laundry list of medical issues that require lots of various medications to keep her stable and alive. She also has type 2 diabetes but it's not as severe as my father's. Her other health conditions include interstitial lung disease (and lung scarring caused by this condition), severe sleep apnea, stage 3 pulmonary arterial hypertension, and edema (doctors suspect its caused by the heart struggling to keep up with her conditions). I'm mostly worried about her pulmonary arterial hypertension because there is no cure and it usually is the cause of death for those who are diagnosed with it.

Despite her conditions, she still goes to work since she's the financial stronghold of the household. Good friends of mine, along with my family and both my partners, all know about the debt that we have been dealing with. My mother has accumulated $120,000 USD of credit card debt and still owes about $180,000 USD for the mortgage on the house we got back in 2021. All together it's a total of $300,000 USD.

The things I can do to raise money is limited if it's through me, since I'm on SSI, and being on SSI means there are tight and usually unethical financial restrictions put on people like me. I get my healthcare through SSI via Medicaid. If I lose my SSI, I lose my healthcare. I have some health issues myself (mild GERD, possible PCOS, possible IBS, weight problems, some dental problems that I have to wait to get seen for, and mental health issues).

We are on the verge of bankruptcy and are possibly facing the loss of the little bit of stability that we have left. My mother isn't able to retire without risking financial ruin and she's dealing with an incurable disease that will most likely slowly kill her. I don't know if my father will bounce back from his current condition or not. I don't even know if his insurance will cover any of this.

I've been reluctant to open donations or fundraisers for this because I don't want to just take people's money left and right as I'd just feel bad about it.

I'm terrified. I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do.