Woeful WIP Wednesday
Oh boy, this fic... I have a torrid relationship with it. A long time ago I wrote a story called BFF which some of you might be familiar with. It’s for another ship. And then I really wanted to try the same kind of ‘needy desperation for a fuck’ dynamic with Zakkura. But Cloud being Cloud made this story turn into... what it is.
I started it in April 2018 and it is actually finished but I have never been able to bring myself to post it. Until today. And even now I’m deeply self-conscious about showing this story to anyone. I don’t know what it is that makes me recoil from this story. It’s good. Like... the smut is good. It’s got heart. It’s also a bit different to how I write nowadays. Maybe? There are a fair few things in this story that I should probably rewrite but I have no energy or will to do that.
I don’t know. I really struggled with this story. I’m still mentally struggling with it even existing. Maybe it’s because this story is set in a canon-divergent universe? Fuck canon, honestly. Fuck writing stories that have to fit the boundaries of someone else’s universe.
Meh.
Realistically, I’ll probably never post this outside of Tumblr, so I hope you enjoy and if you do enjoy it, or any of the other WIP’s it would be great if you would let me know. Cheers.
Rated E
Word count - 15,940
Tags: Oneshot. PWP, sex toys, marathon fucking, not politically correct or sensitive (unlike Cloud’s dick and ass)
Mission: Chicken Soup
Boots thudded heavily against flimsy metal as he ascended the staircase in search of his little Chocobo infantryman. The SOLDIER 1st class hadn't seen hide nor spiky hair of his friend in a month, which pronounced the longing in his chest. He loved his job—when it didn't involve paperwork—but the long and unpredictable stints out in the wider world made him miss Midgar. Though more specifically; Cloud Strife. He missed his friends' quiet presence, the soft smiles, and the good-natured laughs, which served as reason enough for Zack to be out here at present: the Stacks; a refurbished tower of shipping crates stacked on top of each other which served as a Shinra initiative to get some willing participants to offer themselves up for ’science’, though everyone knew it was just a way for mad old Hojo to get around the ethics department.
What Cloud was doing there baffled him completely.
He had arrived back in Midgar this morning, had done the minimum debriefing he could get away with and then had been in search for his friend—best friend—if he was to be honest with himself. He had checked that barracks but had found Cloud's bunk empty, which had sent Zack into a spiraling panic for all of five seconds before he had whipped out his phone and tried to call him. And then message. And then email. Zack had given up and gone to find some other cadets to get answers from. He had spent the afternoon asking around for Cloud and had received the same response, “Dunno.” Zack had sighed and wished that Cloud had more friends who knew what was going on with him, but since all the wishing in the world wouldn't bring that about, and his phone remained woefully silent, he had eventually gone to Cloud’s squadron leader in the hopes of getting some actual answers as to his whereabouts.
The news had been that Cloud had transferred out of the barracks and into the Stacks about a month ago and was currently sick, which surprised and worried Zack since the young man had never let a few sniffles keep him down before, so it had to be serious. That, coupled with the move to the Stacks to be a lab rat, had Zack grow doubly worried. So that's why, by evening fall, he was stomping up the flimsy metal staircase.
He reached the 5th level and walked to the second door set into the shipping container where cloud apparently lived now. He knocked. He waited. He knocked again. "It's me, Zack. I got back this morning. Been looking for you all day. I spoke to your squadron leader."
Silence greeted him. He pressed his ear to the door, trying to listen for any sound of life—or suffering. Zack wasn’t beyond kicking down the door. He heard some faint sounds; shuffling, a grumble. He leaned back from the door. “I know you’re in there. SOLDIER hearing, remember?”
Still nothing.
Zack groaned a little. “Are you alright, Cloud? I tried calling you. What're you doing here in the Stacks, bud? We always laughed at people who signed up for this shit… and now you're sick?" He tapped at the metal door with his fingertips and picked at some of the paint chips. "You never get sick. Cloud. Are you okay? Let me in? Please? I've missed you," he said far quieter and pressed his ear to the door again.
More silence stretched out.
“I’m gonna kick the door down if you don’t tell me you’re okay. I’m worried.”
“I’m okay,” Cloud finally responded.
“Can you let me in?”
“Go away.”
Zack grimaced. "If you're not gonna let me in at least let me take care of you. I got you some chicken soup… at least I think it's chicken. Not sure what passes for chicken at the cafeteria lately.” Zack glanced at the container he was holding and heard some shuffling inside the room.
“Just leave it at the door. I'll grab it later.” Cloud's voice sounded a lot closer now.
Zack frowned. “Okay, I'll leave it at the door. Let me know when you feel better, alright? I've got a souvenir for you from Wutai.” Zack put the small canister down and walked away, thumping his heavy boots along the narrow gangway and away from Cloud’s door but then backtracked quietly and leaned against the wall next to the door. He waited for a while, looking out across the cityscape of Midgar. The Stacks provided a pretty nice view. Maybe that was the reason Cloud chose to move here? He did always say he liked the open skies of back home in Nibelheim. He knew Cloud got homesick sometimes. Coming back to Midgar after prolonged field missions always gave Zack the same sort of heartache, so he tried to bask in the view now. But it wasn’t the same; could never be the same.
Zack couldn't comprehend Cloud’s choice of living arrangements. He furrowed his brow and wrinkled his nose. What was Cloud doing? He breathed in deeply the cool but nonetheless stuffy night air. Midgar had a smell about it which Zack had never smelt anywhere else. Not even in the sewers or reactors. It wasn't pleasant. It wasn't unpleasant. It just smelled like being back in the city. Zack picked at the dirt under his nails, deciding that a bath was in order after being on the road for so long. He looked forward to getting out of his SOLDIER uniform and putting on some slacks and a t-shirt, even if his rest only lasted a day until the next unscheduled mission was ordered. He really hoped he wouldn't be sent away for at least a week. Especially with Cloud under the weather.
There came the sound of a lock sliding open and the creak of rusty hinges turning, which snapped Zack out of his thoughts. The door opened and Zack turned, wedging his foot into the jam before Cloud could pull it shut again.
“Go away, Zack,” Cloud grumbled plaintively.
“No, let me look at you.” Zack pushed against the heavy metal door and Cloud's body on the other side. It wasn't too difficult for him to pry it open enough for him to squeeze through.
“What’re you—? Get out! Please,” Cloud finished in a whine as Zack entered and pushed the door shut behind himself.
“It's alright. You won't infect me. Now, let me look at you.” Zack stood at Cloud's side but Cloud kept turning away and batting at Zack's hands.
“C’mon.” He pulled at Cloud’s shoulder forcing the smaller man to face him, but his eyes were squeezed shut and his head sunken down.
Zack still noticed Cloud's pale skin looking even paler. His forehead was damp, his hair drooped and Cloud definitely looked like he was running a fever; rosy cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. “Wow, you look like shit.” Zack pressed the palm of his hand against Cloud’s temple and brushed limp hair out of the other man’s face.
“Please leave,” Cloud growled as he wrapped his arms around himself and crouched down to the floor of his tiny shoebox of a home.
Zack looked around. There were only two rooms. The bathroom and the main one which they were standing in. It housed a small two-seater couch, a tiny TV which sat atop a short bookshelf, and Cloud's bed right next to it. Zack had always known Cloud to be tidy but this place was a complete mess; sheets, blankets, and pillows were tossed all over the floor, the couch cushions looked to have been moved and replaced haphazardly, and the few books and magazines that should have been on the bookshelf lay scattered and thrown.
The state of the place worried Zack even further. He reached down; it was meant as a comforting pat on the shoulder but Cloud jerked as Zack made contact, shirking out of the touch and snapping harshly with his words, “I told you to leave!”
“What's wrong?”
“I just need to be left alone,” Cloud whined, still avoiding all eye contact with Zack.
Zack’s hands went to his hips and he stared down, a doleful frown settling on his face. “Is that why you moved in here? To get away from people? Are those two dickheads still giving you a rough time?” He crouched down beside Cloud, but Cloud shuffled around so his back faced Zack.
“It’s better here.”
“Even with the catch twenty-twos?”
“I know what I got myself into. I don’t need you telling me what a big mistake I’ve made.”
“You think you’ve made a big mistake?” Zack asked, alarmed.
“No,” Cloud said softly and hunched in on himself further. “Everyone else likes to tell me though.”
Zack humphed. “You’re allowed to live your life like you want to. I’m sure everyone’s just worried about you. I’m worried about you.” Zack stood up, needing to shake off the restless discomfort agitating his limbs, especially with Cloud acting this way with him. He began shuffling around the small living space, picking up the strewn around linen and pillows and placing everything back on the bed.
“I’m fine, really. Thanks for coming to check on me,” Cloud muttered, softer than before.
Zack looked over at Cloud; his head still bowed and his eyes squeezed shut. “I wish I could come and check on you more often. My schedule’s been really crazy lately.” Zack picked up the random books that lay scattered around the place and continued to tidy up.
“Did you get put on any cool missions?” Cloud’s head tilted up, looking eagerly in Zack’s general direction before his gaze dropped to the floor.
A glimpse of Cloud’s enthusiasm settled some of the nervous anxiety inside of Zack. “I don’t know about cool but it sure kept me on my toes. Lots of running around, chasing up loose ends here and there.” Zack kept moving around the space, picking up things, setting them down in their assumed proper place while Cloud continued to sit on the floor following Zack’s feet with his eyes. “I went to Wutai. Got you a nice windchime. It’s all blue and has a dragon on it. You always talk about the tinkle of the cows in the meadows… I know a wind chime won’t come close but… well, I thought you might like it?”
“Thank you, Zack. That’s very nice of you,” Cloud muttered the words.
Zack looked at his friend pull his knees up tight and curl into a tight ball. It made Zack’s frown deepen and an ache welled up in his chest. “Do you wanna come over and get it? Get you out of here? Stretch your legs? Fresh air—well, as fresh as it can get in Midgar—might do you some good.”
Cloud sighed and turned away once again, having his back face Zack.
“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong I can’t help you. Have you been to the infirmary?”
“I have to go to the labs for all problems. I can’t go to the infirmary. Part of the deal of living here.”
Zack grumbled, letting his annoyance be heard by the other man.
He picked up a pile of rumpled clothes and as he collected them in his arms he felt something hard in the bundle. He looked at the heap in his arms, jostled his limbs a little and witnessed something black fall out and roll onto the floor. Zack’s eyes went wide with surprise. “Well, well, well, I didn't know you had some adventure in you. A butt plug? It's pretty big too.” He grinned. Maybe CLoud wasn’t really so sick? Just embarrassed?
Cloud cried out in mortification and sprang to his feet, scooping up the toy and his head swiveling around his room.
Zack watched as Cloud darted around, picking up things Zack hadn't even noticed until now. Were those… “Dildos too?” Zack gave a low whistle. “Never thought of you like that, Cloud. I'm impressed. Is that the Titan? I hear it's got a crazy vibration setting.”
“Please just leave,” Cloud cried out with desperation while pulling out a box from under his bed. He dumped everything into it, shoving it back under with his foot and sat down heavily on his bed, arms on his knees and his head buried in his hands. “Please go away.” He sounded strained and frail.
The amusement and teasing spirit left Zack. The now-feeling-almost-perpetual frown on his face returned. “Can you tell me what’s wrong? Is it shit from Hojo’s experimental lab?”
“Of course it is.” Frustration hitched Cloud’s voice.
“You shouldn't be doing this. Who knows what crap they’re putting into your body. Is privacy really worth the risk? Not even they know what effects their meds have, that's why it's experimental.”
“It’s worth it when I can have my own space and bunk and peace and quiet, which isn't what you’re giving me right now.” Cloud finally snapped his eyes onto Zack’s, but a sheer look of horror flashed over Cloud and he grimaced as if in pain. He buried his head in his hands again and began rocking.
“Shit,” Zack muttered under his breath. “If you can’t go to the infirmary have you at least been back to the lab? Have you told them how sick you are? I spoke to your Squadron leader. You've missed days of patrols and training. That’s so not like you.”
“I don’t need a lecture from you,” Cloud snarled.
Taken aback, Zack checked himself. “Yeah, sorry, bud. You know I just worry about you,” he said softly and sat down on the bed next to Cloud, rubbing his back.
Cloud threw himself to the side, like Zack’s touch was searing pain, but he twisted and screamed in Zack's direction, “Don’t touch me!” with his eyes clenched shut. His shaking hands went back to his head, cradling himself.
Zack’s heart thundered in his chest and he stared wordlessly, in shock over this harrowing situation. He’d never seen Cloud like this. His heart ached for his best friend. “I’m sorry,” he said so quietly he barely heard it himself.
Cloud let out a great big huff and his shoulders sagged a little. “I’m sorry, Zack. I’m really sorry. I’m not at my best. I wish you’d just go so you didn’t see me like this.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll go. I should have respected your wishes from the start. I’m sorry.” Zack went to reach out for Cloud, but he stopped, his hand hovering.
“Please don’t,” came the hasty and tight response from Cloud.
Zack withdrew his hand. “I won’t touch you. I’ll go.” He made to get up—
“Please don't go!” Cloud pleaded, his eyes still shut tight, but turned toward Zack, his hand on Zack’s knee, staling all further motion from him. “I’m sorry. I don’t… don’t want you to go.”
Zack looked at the hot hand on his knee. He could feel the tremble going through Cloud’s body. He put his hand on top of Cloud’s. Cloud yanked his hand away.
“Sorry,” Zack muttered. “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”
“I went in for some testing five days ago—they gave me pills to swallow and a log book to take notes in if anything happened. I’ve been here for four weeks. Each week it’s something—pills, injections, patches, sprays—it was all fine. I haven’t had any symptoms but now… these pills… they said they’re just vitamin pills but…” Cloud shook his head, crossed his legs and rocked, groaning a little and rocking harder.
Zack watched on and listened to Cloud struggling with something internal. His heart beat a little firmer and regrettably a pulse of desire throbbed down into his shaft. He couldn't be thinking about this right now. Not when Cloud was miserable. He shouldn’t be thinking about how dirty Cloud’s groaning sounded, not ever, but especially not right now. He shouldn’t be hyper-aware of the sex toys under the bed and thinking about Cloud using them. ‘Shit,’ he thought.
“I told the lab assistance about my symptoms. They said it should clear in the next three days but,” Cloud hunched in on himself deeper, almost doubling over. He kept rocking and moaning quietly.
‘Shiiiiiiit!’ Zack took a deep breath and cleared his head, deciding to think about this as a mission. “Can I do anything to make it better? Where's it hurt?—Cloud, look at me. Where's it hurt?” He got up and knelt before Cloud, looking up at him.
Cloud uncurled himself and he stopped his rocking. His eyes slowly opened but seeing Zack before him made him squeeze them shut again. “I can't look at you… it… hurts too much.”
“Is it your eyes?”
Cloud shook his head.
“Your head? Is it an all over sensation or localized?” Zack looked all over Cloud’s body, trying to see something physically wrong with him, but all he saw was clammy pale skin, flushed cheeks, wild and messy hair and the gray t-shirt with darker gray sweat patches under the arms and around the neckline, and the sweatpants Cloud wore.
Cloud shook his head again. “Please just leave me alone, Zack. It’s nothing you can help me with.” He winced as if a new wave of pain smashed into him.
“You want me to stay, but you also want me to go. What should I do, Cloud? What do you need me to do? Please, I want to help you. There must be something I can do.”
“Zack—”
“Please, Cloud.”
“There's nothing you can do.”
“At least help me to understand what’s going on; how you're feeling.” It took everything in Zack’s power to not touch Cloud; not hold his hand; not place his hand on Cloud’s knee; not cup his face and brush the hair from his eyes.
Cloud sighed, heavy and low. “If… if I tell you will you leave me alone for a while?”
Reluctantly, he said, “Yes. If that’s your wish, then yes.”
Cloud grumbled and frowned in that way he did when he was weighing up his options. Cloud suddenly stood up. Startled, Zack fell back on his ass. He threw his hands out behind himself for support. He stared at Cloud’s crotch and gulped, a heat springing alight in the pit of his stomach. Even though Cloud wore loose gray slacks, this close, with Cloud’s hips thrust forward and the fabric stretched just a tiny bit, Zack could see the hard bulge.
“I’ve had this for four days now,” Cloud cringed, holding his head woefully and still pushing his hips toward Zack. “I don't think it's anyone else but me. It just won't go away. I've tried everything.” Cloud stepped back and sat back down, whining in a high pitch as he did so and holding his head in his hands again, while his elbows were on his knees. “I ordered all those toys and got them express posted but nothing's working.”
‘Shit, shit, shit!’ Zack swallowed the dry lump in his throat. His heart-rate kept spiking uncomfortably. “What’s the problem exactly? I mean… having an erection for so long can’t be good for you, sure, but… can’t you just… you know.” Sweat prickled his brow from this conversation.
“I can't cum. I want to, but I can't. I'm so damn…” Cloud winced. “It hurts. I want to—everyone in sight.” He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter.
“Oh.” Realization dawned. “Is that why you don't want to look at me?”
Cloud nodded woefully. “You're my best friend. You shouldn't see me like this.”
But he already did. ‘Shit.’ Zack, still sitting on the floor, leaned forward, pulling his knees up and resting his arms on them. “Cloud, look at me. Look at me.”
Cloud shook his head. “I can't. If I do, I'll jump you and hump you and… I can’t have you see me like that. I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. You can jump me and hump me all you want, just please, look at me,” he tried again, gentle and reassuring. His body buzzed with anticipation and shock over Cloud’s situation. He wanted to help. He wanted to help even more now because a desire sat inside himself.
“You don’t understand! I’d molest you. I’d… rape you. It’s getting worse. I have no control left over this. IF I look at you… that’s it.” Cloud raised his head a little and cautiously trailed his eyes over Zack’s feet and legs, but stopped his gaze somewhere around Zack’s arms on his knees. “I don't want this to ruin our friendship. You're important to me.”
“You’re important to me too, Cloud.” The young cadet had always been special to him. Zack felt protective over him and overwhelmingly proud of all of Cloud’s achievements and ways of handling himself. Even this reckless move to the Stacks screamed like a Cloud thing to do. If he saw something he went and got it, no matter how difficult. There was something completely compelling and alluring in his stubbornness and determination. It was something Zack greatly admired and found attractive in the younger man. And Cloud wasn't a bad looker, not at all. They had sparred together enough times for Zack to have a healthy appreciation for Cloud’s physique. Though over the last few months it might have been getting a bit unhealthy. “You can’t rape me if I’m a willing participant.”
Cloud furrowed his brow. “But I’m a guy. You’re a guy.”
“So?”
“So? You’re Zack Fair. Ladies man extraordinaire.”
“I’ve slept with guys in the past. If it’s not a problem for you then it’s not a problem for me.”
“Y-you have?” Cloud fought with himself to keep his eyes off Zack’s face. He kept frowning and shutting his eyes tight every time they drifted too far.
“Yeah. Not a lot. I don’t… I don’t sleep around with anyone who looks nice or is a fun conversation. I don’t know what those fan club messages have been hinting at lately,” he shook his head. “You’re my friend though, Cloud. Remember how I told you I’d always have your back?” Cloud nodded after a moment. “Well, I mean it. Even with something like this. Us backwater boys gotta stick together.” He carefully reached out and slid his hand on Cloud’s knee.
Cloud tensed under Zack’s touch but he didn’t jerk away this time. He gave a sad sounding huff. “You would seriously let me… with you?” Cloud focused on Zack’s hand on himself. He pulled one arm off where he was hugging his midsection and lay his hand atop of Zack’s, his fingers curling and then relaxing.
Zack chuckled, a little nervous. This was a bit awkward. They had never talked about sex. It wasn’t even a thought Zack had let himself entertain about Cloud… not till recently…. He wet his lips, feeling parched. “Yeah. If you needed me to. That's what friends are for, right? If I can help you then I want to. Even if it’s having sex with you. So c’mon, Cloud. What's sex between friends when one of them has a medically raging boner and an inability to cum? I've had blue balls before. I can't imagine how much it must suck to be you right now.”
Cloud lifted his head and looked at Zack with wide blue eyes. Zack smiled back gently and then toppled over backward as Cloud launched himself on him and ground his pelvis against Zack's.
“Woah there,” he laughed. “So I guess we’re doing this?”
Cloud nodded frantically, still grinding and looking like he was satisfying a very painful itch.
Zack let himself get caught up in Cloud’s frotting for a couple of seconds. Tension and need tightened his muscles and sped up his thumping heart. A deep tingle buzzed through his innards and woke him into an aroused state. He wanted to kiss Cloud, roll them over, bite his neck, touch him under clothes—all the millions of forbidden scenarios that had danced around his head during his times spent training and sparring with Cloud—rifled through his head. He tried to clear his thoughts, to be methodical about this, to not get caught up in desperate feelings which weren’t welcomed or needed here right now. “Tell me what you wanna do. Tell me what you’ve tried. Maybe we can figure out a way to get you off.”
Cloud's motion didn't abate as he ground his hot bulge against Zack’s hardening shaft and lower abdomen. Cloud also didn’t look at Zack, focusing on his shoulder as his cheeks grew even hotter. “I've tried dildos and plugs. I tried my hands, I even bought a… a thing to stick myself into.”
“A fleshlight?”
“Yeah.” Cloud nodded and kept grinding, his breath huffing with the strain from his movement.
Zack took a moment to swallow. Cloud’s stiff and hot bulging erection rubbed him in a very satisfying way. He cleared his head and asked, “Anything else?”
“I, ah—” Cloud stilled for a second and then rolled his hips again, but he kept quiet and didn’t look at Zack at all.
“Go on, you can tell me.”
He bit his lip and took a deeper-than-the-rest breath. “I phoned up an escort service but… but I chickened out when… they got here. I paid the money and told them to go away.”
“Woah. Them? You got more than one?”
“N-no. Just the one. It… it was a he.” Cloud pressed his forehead against Zack’s shoulder, no longer being able to look him in the eyes.
“Are you… gay?” Zack had never thought of Cloud’s sexual preference. He assumed it to be heterosexual, he supposed. He supposed the wanting-to-have-sex-with-him thing was just because Zack was currently here in the room and available. A jolt of arousal went through him when he thought of Cloud wanting him and not just any random gender to fuck because of his desperation.
“Please… can we not.”
“Oh, okay. Why’d you send him packing then? Can I ask that at least?”
Cloud kept rutting, humping, frotting against Zack. He pushed his face deeper against Zack's shoulder as he muffled, “I… I just couldn't—didn't want my first time to be with a hooker. Not even for this.”
Zack tensed. “You’re… you've never—” The words wouldn't come.
Cloud shook his head and kept rutting.
“But the toys I saw.” Zack's head reeled a little. Cloud not having been with anyone but having that stash…
“Using toys is easy. I don't want to get into it.”
“Okay, okay.” Cloud’s first time… it was rolling around Zack's skull. He didn't think he had ever been anyone's first. He had always found willing and experienced partners in the past. This was a big responsibility and Zack felt nervous. He didn't want to let Cloud down, not when he needed some relief so badly, and especially not if this was the first experience Cloud ever had with someone else. “Um, did any of the toys you used feel nicer than the others?”
“No, it’s all the same.”
Heat and friction built between them. Zack felt himself completely hard. Having Cloud against him like this was a wet dream come true. He just wished… not like this. He wished circumstances had been different. “Is grinding against me helping?” he asked.
“A little.”
“Okay, well, keep doing that then, but maybe we should get naked and get some lube happening.” Maybe it was the matter-of-factness Zack spoke with, or simply just talking about sex made it less awkward. Either way, Cloud lifted his head and gave him a hesitant look.
“I've got that. I bought all kinds. Warming, spiced, normal, silicone based, water, oil.” Cloud slipped off Zack with a displeased groan and turned around to dig around under his bed. He pulled out the box he had hidden, picked it up and nonchalantly dumped the contents on his bed, a stark contrast to the embarrassed and frantic fumbling he had done before.
Zack rose to his feet and stepped up to the bed, looking down at it and whistled at the large collection spread out before him. “You must have spent most of your pay on this stuff. Some of this stuff’s not cheap. Ifrit's Inferno?” he picked up the red tube laced with five spices to make you hot and sweaty.
Cloud remained mute. Zack dropped the tube and turned toward Cloud, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder. Cloud winced.
"You still good to do this?" Zack asked, looking Cloud once over.
Cloud nodded. "If you are."
"I am." Zack got to work undoing his belts.
Cloud’s hands shook and fumbled with his pants as he undid the string keeping his slacks on. “You knew the Titan by sight. You have a few of these?” Cloud still wasn’t looking at Zack but the attempt at conversation dispelled some worries in Zack
“Yeah. But Sephiroth is the guy you’d want. He's a walking encyclopedia on this stuff.” Zack nodded at the things on the bed.
Cloud’s head snapped up to stare at Zack. Wide blue eyes gawked in adoration—it was a look Zack regrettably never got to have directed at himself.
“He does?” Cloud huffed out.
Something bothersome and ugly fluttered in Zack’s chest. He ignored it. “He does, but c’mon, let's see if we can fix this problem of yours.”
Cloud winced as he was reminded of his predicament. With a deep inhale of breath and whilst casting his eyes just off Zack's shoulder, he dropped his slacks.
Zack stared at Cloud’s girth and length. He definitely hadn't expected it—not that he had ever thought of Cloud's junk in any great depth… maybe just a fleeting thought here and there during intense sparring matches. He shook himself out of his reverie and dropped his own pants. He tried not to think about how hard he was from Cloud's grinding, and how the sight of the half-naked man before him sent harder throbs through his shaft. He stepped close to Cloud, the man’s red and swollen erection almost touching Zack's thigh. “So, what do you want to try first?”
Cloud swallowed, his head held up, full of pride and silent determination as he squarely looked Zack in the eyes. Zack had seen that look before when they had fought off enemies Cloud thought way too big to handle. It was flattering, but Zack didn't want to be intimidating. “It's okay, Cloud. We can do whatever you need to do. I'm here for you.”
Cloud gave a stern nod, picked up a bottle of lubricant, handing it to Zack and then turned around and bent over.
Now Zack gulped. Cloud's ass was a masterpiece of youth and hard work. Beautiful and pale, lean and toned. “Alright,” he barely got out in a steady tone. Zack uncapped the lubricant and squirted it into his hands.
“Don't bother stretching. I—don't need it.”
Zack imagined Cloud trying to get off for days on end, ramming the Titan into himself. He moaned a little. Cloud was so plucky, it bordered on sexy—scratch that—Cloud was sexy. Considering they were about to do this Zack felt it okay to acknowledge the thought he had been trying to hold at bay for the sake of their friendship. He stretched his arm out and touched. A shiver and deep desire ran through him. He ran his hand down Cloud's flank and felt and saw the shudder go through the other man. He kept traveling over Cloud's smooth, soft, hot skin, cupping his ass cheek and a longing to bite Cloud's ass—because it looked so delicious—rose inside him.
While he kept fondling Cloud's ass he reached for himself with his lubricated hand; spreading the substance and letting out a restrained sigh with how good it felt. Zack was too familiar with his hands. He knew the feel of every callous and patch of rough skin on his palms. Beating off was more a chore than a real pleasure these last few years. The thought of being with someone—being with Cloud—Zack hoped he wasn't about to embarrass himself and the renowned SOLDIER stamina.
“It's okay if I just go for it?"
A needy grunt left Cloud and he nudged his hips backward.
Zack put more lubricant on his hand, spread Cloud’s firm cheeks apart and pressed his finger against Cloud's puckering. He pushed and watched himself disappear inside of Cloud's heated entrance. He had never thought in a million years they this would happen; that Cloud would ask him to have sex. Zack shook his head. He was here to help his best friend. Nothing more. He pushed his one finger, two fingers, three, and even four inside to find little resistance. Cloud had indeed stretched himself out and seemed relaxed enough, even though he seemed tense as well in his shoulders as he leaned his upper body on the low bed.
Zack’s heart went out to his friend at that moment. He withdrew his fingers but also nudged the tip of his penis closer to Cloud. When was the last time he had done this? Life had been too busy.
He shook his head clear and pushed forward with ease into tight heat. He moaned and simultaneously a satisfied groan burbled up out of Cloud; a sound Zack had never heard before; deep, pleasurable, and a touch feral. Zack kept pushing in, letting heat and tightness engulf him all the way to the hilt. Somewhere he registered Cloud’s vocal groan; a mix of satisfaction and need. Words were attached too, which Zack couldn't make out at first, but which became sharp and clear after the third time—“Move!” Cloud barked, sending a threatening glare over his shoulder toward Zack.
“Yes, Sir.” Zack almost saluted but instead gripped Cloud’s hips and pulled himself off and then pushed back in. Zack threw his head back, moaned louder and smiled up at the ceiling in delight as he rocked into Cloud at a steady pace.
An indistinct sound came from Cloud.
“You alright?” It was probably a dumb question but—
“Of course not. Harder,” Cloud ordered with frustration and pushed back against him for emphasis.
Zack chuckled, not used to Cloud being so domineering and pushy. The shift in his friend’s usually quiet demeanor was gratifying so he did as he was ordered; slamming into Cloud with vigor. His hands gripped Cloud tightly and his pleasure was immense.
“Harder!” Cloud snarled and slammed himself against Zack as Zack canted his hips forward again to deeply penetrate his friend.
“I don't want to hurt you.” If he really let himself go Zack wasn't sure how Cloud would fair.
“Just… please,” came the grumbling plea through grit teeth.
A grimace fell across Zack's face. “Okay, but promise to tell me if I'm hurting you.”
Blond mop nodded vigorously and with that Zack did as he was asked. He thrust into Cloud's tense heat at full tilt. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall, breaking some of the thin plasterboard that lined the inside of the metal box Cloud called his lodgings.
The sound of skin slapping on skin sounded and their mingling moans echoed around the space. For how long Zack kept it up he couldn't say. Cloud stayed braced against the bed but at some point his right arm disappeared under himself, probably to tend to his erection. Sharp rasping breaths filled the air and groans from both of them bounced off the walls.
The intensity and strain of pumping into Cloud took its toll on Zack and he became overwhelmed by the tightness in his shaft and the tingle in his sac. A tremble ran through his limbs, and the tight coil in his gut snapped, causing him to shoot his load into Cloud with a deep moan.
A few sharp exhales, a slowing of his thrusts and Zack muttered his almost breathless apologies, “I'm sorry. So sorry. Sorry, Cloud.” He slid out, already missing the heat and intensity and slumped down on the bed next to Cloud, who sank to his knees on the floor and buried his face in his mattress.
Zack tried to steady his breath, but it hitched every time a post-orgasm shudder pulsed through him. His vision of the ceiling danced around but eventually steadied and he heard a small whimper, making Zack look over. “You okay, buddy?” He placed his hand on Cloud’s shoulder. He felt the jerky movement as Cloud pulled away, sitting on the floor with knees tucked under his chin.
“Nothing works. Fuck.” Cloud pulled at his hair in aggravation and frustration. “I thought for sure being with someone would work but….” He groaned.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Zack, with a groan, sat up. “Don't give up yet. There are still a lot of different positions and things to try. We'll just go again until we figure this out.”
“Again? You seriously want to go again?” Blue, red-rimmed eyes looked up at Zack for a split second before darting away again.
“Yeah. I can't leave you hanging. And,” he gave a tight chuckle, “SOLDIER stamina lets me recover a lot faster so… we can keep doing this until we find a fix for you.”
“Thanks,” Cloud mumbled, not sounding very sincere. “You sure you can go again? Aren't you sensitive?”
The abashed side-glance made Zack's heart flutter. Cloud was just the sweetest guy Zack had ever met. “You don't have to worry about me. Few minutes and I'll be good as new.”
“No you don't—you shouldn't even be having to do this now. Just go. I'll be fine.”
“We're friends. I can't just leave you in the lurch.”
“I don't think this is what you ever had in mind when we became friends,” Cloud grumbled into his knees.
“Maybe, but… well, it's not the worst job in the world,” he laughed gently and smiled down at Cloud, who had ventured another look up at him. Cheeks were stained red and an abashed Cloud was enough to invigorate Zack in that very moment. He leaned down and ran his fingers through Cloud’s damp blond hair. He smiled down at his friend, a warmth in the pit of his stomach which had nothing to do with arousal. “C’mon. Let's try again. Were you getting close? Did I angle myself right? Was I hitting your prostate?”
Cloud groaned and buried his head. “This is so embarrassing.”
“Don't think about it like anything other than a mission. This is the briefing where we figure out the target and how to achieve our goal. The actual act is the mission and afterward we do a review of whether it was successful or not. Though I guess I'll know when we've succeeded, huh,” he giggled.
“Mission briefing, huh?” Cloud seemed to snap out of his eternal mortification and side-eyed Zack.
He grinned and nodded at Cloud, happy that the other man appeared to like the analogy Zack had thought up. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let me hear it.”
Hesitation let seconds tick by before Cloud said, “It… was good. Better than… what I was doing before. You,” Cloud took a deep breath, “slamming into me… it's a nice distraction from… well, having blue balls of death.”
“I bet. I saw you pumping yourself. Did that feel nice?”
Cloud nodded, burying his head in his hands.
“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” he repeated. “Do you want me to try…” the thought of what he was about to say made Zack's heart race and his throat feel parched, “sucking you off?”
Cloud was quiet for a long minute but then he gave the tiniest, “Yes,” and head nod.
Zack swallowed. He was kidding himself if he chose to ignore how much this was actually turning him on. “Okay. Sit up here and open your legs.” Zack slid off the small bed as Cloud got up and sat down.
He scooted toward Cloud, placed his hands on his knees and gently coaxed Cloud’s legs apart and moved in close. Cloud’s erection looked formidable. Hard, thick, throbbing. It actually looked angry and sore, swollen with blood and unspent desire.
That same need was also painted on Cloud's face, clear as day. His jaw clenched and teeth ground. Hips jerked upward minutely with restraint. Zack grasped at those hips, holding the smaller man down as he got in position, mouth poised open just inches from the cause of Cloud's discomfort.
“You ready for this?” He looked up at Cloud who gave a shaky exhale and looked down at Zack for the briefest moment.
Zack took that as an 'okay’ and slid his mouth over Cloud’s head, first making contact with his tongue, teeth and then the roof of his mouth. It was so hot; physically so hot in his mouth, on his tongue.
Cloud hissed and bucked but Zack held him down. He sucked for a few tentative moments on the dry as a bone head. Zack wondered what the pills had done to Cloud if they prevented him from even having pre-cum pooling out. Maybe there was a blockage? Maybe if Zack sucked really hard…. He began doing that. It was as good a plan as any. He sucked and rubbed his tongue. He took Cloud’s thickness down further into his mouth, working on getting the man down his throat.
Cloud moaned and bucked. He bucked fiercely, letting Zack know that it must feel good and that he needed more of this, so Zack gave him more. He vigorously bobbed his head and did that until his jaw became sore with being locked in place but he didn't want to stop. He wanted to relieve Cloud's pain, take away the pressure, make his best friend okay again.
He kept going until Cloud ordered him to stop because Zack chose to ignore the tentative pleas and suggestions that Cloud had been making to him until this point.
He opened and closed his mouth, working the tightness out of his jaw after he pulled off Cloud. He sat down and leaned back on his hands, looking up at his needy friend who stood before him now. “Why're you telling me to stop? Isn't it making you feel better?”
Cloud looked down at him, some of the tension and pain disappearing from his face. “It's helping but it's not a fix. You could do that to me for hours and it wouldn't get me anywhere,” Cloud said, a darkness in his eyes.
“Well, if we can't find a solution I'll just call in sick and suck on you until this stuff gets out of your system.”
Cloud actually laughed. “You're so dumb. You can't do that.”
“Watch me,” he grinned. Cloud was probably right, but then again seeing him smiling and less in pain was also a good enough motivator for Zack to want to try if it helped. He scrambled back up to his feet, ready to go again but Cloud pushed his hand against Zack's chest.
“You're hard again.” They both looked down at Zack's predicament, though Cloud looked away again almost instantaneously.
“You want me to try in your butt again? We can try facing each other if you want.” That thought got Zack kind of hot. What they were doing right now was intimate, but that would be even more so.
Cloud shook his head. “Behind is fine. Um… can you maybe try… touching me while you're… you know.”
“Yeah sure.” Things were getting hotter by the second.
Cloud got up and knelt with his hands and knees on his bed, rear toward Zack.
“Lube?”
“Don't need it.” Cloud shook his head. “I feel like a wet slide back there.”
Zack laughed, feeling lighter with Cloud's lifted mood. He eyed Cloud's delicious hole to see a trail of moisture leaking out. Zack felt himself getting harder with the realization that Cloud was still full of his cum, and Zack was able to do it all again.
“You want me to use a condom?” He probably should have asked at the start but man, his head had been in the clouds. He smirked at himself, careful not to spill the beans to Cloud for fear of feeling the man's wrath over the terrible pun.
“No. Too late now anyway. Just keep doing what you were doing. Don't forget, make it hard and fast.”
“Got it.” Zack stood at the edge of the bed, pulled Cloud to himself and then took a few deep breaths. He wanted to kiss Cloud, lick him, fondle him. He wanted to make him cum and scream his name. It was Zack's personal mission.
He pushed his head against Cloud's entrance, hissing quietly as he pushed inside of the welcoming heat. Almost immediately he began pounding into Cloud, shifting his hips and shaft with every deep thrust until he heard gasps turn into moans. He hadn't been paying attention to Cloud's need before, too lost in his own and too confident in his ability to alleviate his friend's pain that he hadn't really been trying before, but he was trying now. He aimed to nail Cloud's prostate with every blow.
Moans turned to needy mewls. “Zack… Zack—hand. Please!” came the begging from in front.
Zack reluctantly dislodged one of his hands from hips, running fingertips along smooth, damp skin into thick hairs and grasping around Cloud's heat. He found Cloud's shaft well lubricated, something Cloud must have done only moments before.
Zack moved his hand with his thrusts, working from base to tip with great force, still working on the theory of a blockage somewhere, hoping to dislodge it.
He kept those motions going for a while until his legs began to tremble, his throat began to get parched from his own moans and gasps of pleasure because fuck, Cloud was tight and hot and it felt too good. Pounding into his friend was leading back to the cord of desire tightening too much around his cock and inside his lower abdomen and he was on the verge of an orgasm again.
Cloud still moaned, heady and thick. Zack kept nailing him, but there was no extra moisture, no pre-cum on his slit, which Zack thumbed once in a while as he changed his pace of thrusting and jerking. No sign of Cloud getting closer to his release.
Zack needed a rest. He gave in to his pleasure and let out an unencumbered throaty shout as he came with a few very sharp thrusts into that perfect little ass. His energy left him and he half collapsed onto Cloud's back, careful not to put his entire weight on the man, because crushing him was the last thing Zack wanted to do.
He gasped for sweet air, whilst laying against damp, and his own back awash with a river of sweat from the exertion. Zack was ashamed to admit it but he needed a breather. The room felt heavy with moisture; with no windows around the space suffered from terrible ventilation. It didn’t help Zack in his cause.
Rolling onto the bed he stared up at the ceiling, panting, “Anything?”
Cloud flipped onto his back and lay by Zack’s side, shaking his head. “No.”
“Far out, buddy, you're a hard man to please,” he joked.
“I’m sorry, Zack. You should just go home—”
“Never! I want to make this better and make you feel good.”
Cloud kept looking up, but Zack saw the feverish cheeks turning a little pinker. “It does feel good—really good—its just… it’s not you, it’s me.”
“Oh wow,” Zack laughed gently. “We’re already having this conversation? I haven’t even taken you out on a date yet.”
Cloud snapped his gaze onto Zack. “What? N-no it’s not… I… I just… I—”
Zack laughed. “Relax, buddy. I’m just teasing. It’s good to hear it feels good to you even if I can’t get anything out of you. You’re bone dry.”
Cloud nodded.
“You ever get a single drop out?”
Cloud turned a definite rouge color.
“Oh,” Zack chuckled. “Okay. you don’t have to tell me but maybe do whatever gets you turning that bright red.”
A small noise left Cloud and he turned his head the other way. Zack found it adorable, especially after the demands Cloud had thrown out before. “I think you might have a blockage or something if you can’t come. So if it’s a toy you need, or if you need me to touch you in a certain way let me know and we can use that next time around.”
“It’s nothing… physical. It’s just… thoughts,” Cloud dragged those words up like heavy stones out of a well.
Zack certainly felt curious but given Cloud’s embarrassment, he thought it best to leave alone. “Well, do more of that. And tell me, during the anal and blow job what gave you some relief?”
Cloud turned his head back toward Zack, but not fully. He just looked at him out of his periphery. “Your hand on me. The stuff in the back just made me—it was really good but—”
“Not what you needed.”
Cloud nodded.
“All right. You're already super stimulated. You just need the release. Right?”
“Yeah.”
Both men sighed.
“Can we turn on the fan? It's really muggy in here.” Zack sat up and stripped off his shirt, hating how the thick woolen fabric stuck to him.
Cloud stared for a moment and then as Zack caught him in the act he hastily said, “Yeah, it's just over there,” and pointed toward the cough by the bathroom door.
Zack went to the corner of the room and flicked the switch of the standing fan to the highest setting. He parked himself in front of it for a few moments, loving the air currents wicking away the moisture from his chest. He turned around and did the same for his back, sighing happily. He opened his eyes, locking with Cloud’s as the other man stared at him. Cloud fell back onto his mattress looking back up at the ceiling.
Zack’s heart drummed harder every time he caught Cloud looking at him. Was it dumb to want something more from his best friend? With his best friend? Cloud was just suffering, that’s all it was. He was too obsessed with Sephiroth. Maybe, Zack thought, the least he could do would be to set Cloud and Sephiroth up on a blind date? Since Cloud was most probably gay and all. He didn’t like that thought. “You don't wanna take off your shirt too?”
“Nah, it's not going to help.”
Zack smiled with a brittle sadness in his soul. He felt for Cloud, was angry at himself for not being able to make his friend cum and again the thought returned to asking Sephiroth over. Maybe Cloud would be turned on enough since he clearly admired the other man immensely. That thought only made Zack bitter. He tried to ignore it and let his eyes trail over Cloud, as his chest rose and fell heavily, but in an even rhythm. That almost angry looking erection stood proud, dry and hot. Zack wanted to try his mouth around it again. Touching Cloud there seemed to be what gave him the most relief. That thought was confirmed when Cloud's hand idly went to his penis and began pumping. Zack watched from his position before the fan. He imagined Cloud doing that to himself whilst thinking of him. Zack roused himself out of that thought. “Do you wanna try the blowjob again?”
“How’s it gonna be different from before?” Defeat shaded Cloud’s words.
Zack thought, sucking on his lips. “Maybe—” his gaze landed on the sex toys strewn around the bed and floor, “if you use one of the dildos it might help?”
Cloud hummed in thought and then sat up, looking around himself. He picked one up and held it aloft. Zack walked over and took it from him. Cloud threw himself back on the bed and sighed.
“Cheer up, buttercup and stay positive.”
Cloud grumbled.
Zack knelt on the floor before Cloud, pulling on his legs, dragging him closer to himself so Cloud’s butt hung a little off the edge of the mattress. Zack looked at the big bullet-shaped plug with its tapered tip and ribbed body. Buttons were at the base and Zack pushed one. The toy came to life in an instant. “Nice.”
The appropriate lubricant was handed over, Zack covered the silicone toy in it and once Cloud propped himself up on his elbows, so he could watch (an action which got Zack’s cock twitching and dripping). Zack then pressed the toy against Cloud. “You ready?”
“Yeah, get on with it.”
Zack definitely expected the grumble of confirmation and accepted it with a chuckle. He pushed the plug into Cloud carefully, enjoying the intimate show. The wide base sat snug against skin and then Zack, with a lick of his lips, bent over Cloud’s radiating-with-heat penis and got to work. As he licked, sucked and bobbed he changed the vibration settings, each time eliciting the most delicate of gasps from Cloud. He fiddled with the base as well, moving it so it would tilt inside of Cloud, pushing and brushing against different parts of him. When Zack got a strangled moan out of the other man he held the toy in place and deepthroated him for as long as possible before needing to come up for air. He breathed deep through his nose while he sucked on Cloud’s head and finally, he smiled around the hot rock hard cock in his mouth as he could taste a saltiness that hadn’t been there before.
Zack saw this as a good sign. He kept pumping the toy in and out of Cloud at varying speeds, massaged Cloud’s innards with the vibrations and alternated between vigorously deepthroating Cloud and lovingly, tenderly, kissing and sucking on his head.
Zack kept his ministrations up for a while. The fan hitting him and circulating the air helped a lot in keeping him going. But everything he was doing still didn’t seem enough and they both came to a mutually agreed stop, without having to utter a single word between them. Cloud lifted his leg over Zack’s head and rolled onto his side. He pulled out the still vibrating butt plug, turned it off and threw it across the room.
“Go home, Zack. It’s useless.”
“No way. I’m not a quitter and I’ve never known you to be one either.” He stood up to stretch the stiffness from his muscles and joints.
“There’s nothing left, I’ll just… I’ll be okay.”
Zack thought he could see Cloud’s spirit leave his body and enter the Lifestream. “No!” He stomped his foot, made to clear what little toys were left on the bed, grabbed the warming lubricant and threw it at Cloud’s head, which caught it rather spectacularly.
“Hey, ow! What in Ifrit’s name!” Cloud picked up the tube and sat up, glaring at Zack
Zack, steely-eyed and determined, went down on all fours on Cloud’s mattress, positioning himself so his rear was in the other man’s face. “Do me.”
“W-what?” Zack almost heard Cloud fall over backward.
“Do me,” he said again, sharp and clear, looking back over his shoulder at Cloud, who sat with his legs wide apart, leaning back on his arms, as if the surprise of Zack’s words had truly bowled him over. “There’s still lots we haven’t tried. This is one of them. So c’mon, get in there and do your reps.” Zack pushed his butt back.
Blue eyes went incredibly wide. “Y-yes, Sir.” Cloud got up on his knees, hesitantly, uncapping and squeezing out some lubricant.
“Don’t dawdle, and put something in your butt before you come here.” Zack watched Cloud scramble around and grab something which he shoved into his rear without even a flinch.
Cloud finally approached, shuffling in behind Zack. Heat radiated and that was about all.
“Cloud. What're you waiting for?” Zack looked behind himself again. Cloud looked even more feverish than before.
“I can't,” he whispered and sank onto his haunches, the tips of his hair touching and brushing against Zack’s ass with how close he was to him as he sat with his head bowed.
Zack raised himself onto his knees and turned around carefully, grabbing at Cloud’s feverish and clammy shoulders. “You can. We’ll get through this. We'll find something that works,” he said, with as much optimism as he could muster without putting Cloud off.
“No. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. Not like this. Not when you feel obligated.”
“I'm not—I wanna help you. We're friends.”
Cloud roused, raising himself to his knees and thrust his arms outward, pushing Zack's hands off himself and toppling him over lightly. “Friends. I don't—just—please just leave.” The glare Cloud gave Zack melted and he sat back down on his bed, head bowed and hands interlaced before himself.
“Buddy,” Zack sat up again and went to pat Cloud's back.
“Don't! Don't 'buddy’ me. Don't touch me. Just go away,” Cloud said, pushing Zack away.
Zack backed off and leaned back, looking at Cloud completely confused. What had happened? Had he been too rough? Too demanding? Too commanding? “I'm sorry. I just wanna help,” he muttered.
Cloud turned away and pulled his knees to his chest, remaining silent.
Letting out a hefty defeated sigh Zack got up, meaning to respect Cloud’s wishes because he was all out of ideas. If Cloud didn’t want to have sex with him like that he didn’t know what else to try. He went about finding his clothes and putting them on slowly to bide his time while he thought. But he had still come up with nothing, even as he fastened his last belt, and Cloud still sat wordlessly, not even chancing a glance at Zack.
As Zack stood in Cloud’s small room, with his best friend so desperately upset and in agony Zack made a decision. “I'm gonna go get us some drinks and then we'll talk after you've had a time out.” He thought the fresher air might do him some good and maybe he could come up with another plan.
Cloud still said nothing so Zack headed for the door. Upon opening it he nearly stepped on the container of chicken soup. “Oh, hey, eat this while I'm gone. You should stay hydrated.” He went back into the room and dropped the air-tight canister before Cloud. “Should still be hot. Might even have actual chicken in it somewhere,” he smiled but got no response. “I hope it makes you feel better.”
Zack ruffled Cloud's hair, which made the other man wince. Zack frowned and left the Stacks. He had to go back to the main Shinra complex to find vending machines and get his caffeine and sugar hit. His pace kept alternating between a power walk and a dawdle as his mind wandered in and out of feeling like a creep for using Cloud like this, and genuine deep concern for his friend. Zack told himself that he wasn't using Cloud, but damn, it felt like he was, especially since he had left without actually helping him. But Cloud had wanted him to go. Cloud had felt hurt about something and Zack needed to get to the bottom of it… pun not intended but he chuckled at it anyway. But he also knew that Cloud needed space to think and process his thoughts. He hoped the walk to and from the vending machines would give him enough time to process what they had been doing and what he needed Zack to give him.
Vending machines were reached. He scrounged around his pockets for some gil, found none, but did see some very lovely ladies walking by so laid on the charm. It worked wonders and he bought a hot coffee and three icy energy drinks and made his way back to Cloud's. At least now that Cloud wasn’t in the barracks there was no curfew for him. Zack found that nice and thought about actually taking Cloud out. Maybe even on a date? He could hardly believe he had sex with Cloud Strife. It made him all giddy inside. Or maybe it was just the caffeine hit he received as he finished his coffee and downed one and a half cans of the energy drinks by the time he arrived at Cloud’s front door and knocked. “It's me.” Now would be the real test to see if Cloud had gotten over his mood enough to talk.
Shoulders relaxed when he heard the door unlatch. Zack pushed it open after a few moments more of nothing happening and entered. He found a fully clothed Cloud hunched on the ground leaning against the wall near his bed, cradling his head in his hands. Zack spied the empty chicken soup container on the low bookshelf. It made him sigh out a little with relief.
Zack sat down next to Cloud, holding out the last of the energy drinks to him. “Brought you something. Was the soup any good?”
“Was all right,” Cloud mumbled, only looking up to register the can and grabbed for it. “Don’t know how soup’s supposed to help though.” Cloud cracked the can open and guzzled the contents down.
“It’s something warm and comforting. Ma’s soups always made me feel better when I was sick. What about you?”
Cloud hummed. A soft expression, which Zack recognized as only ever washing over his friends face when he thought of home, sat on Cloud’s face then. “Yeah. Mom makes this delicious creamed corn and pea soup. She toasts wafer thin garlic bread and crumbs it over the top.”
Zack smiled. “That sounds divine.”
“It is. If we ever get shipped out to Mt. Nibel together… I’d like to…” the light in Cloud’s eyes vanished. He swirled his can and began drinking it again. “Midgar soup can't compare.”
“True.”
They sipped their drinks in relative quiet until Zack finished his. He crushed the can and aimed for Cloud’s waste paper basket. “Nothing but net!” he quietly cheered as he sunk it. “So mind telling me what that was about before I left?”
Cloud frowned and his eyes stayed low. “You’re not—” Cloud stopped. “I—” A heavy breath was released. “Why're you doing this? Why’re you here? This is so weird… so embarrassing. It makes me—” Another huff was let out. “It makes me think of bad things. It makes me think of shit I don’t want to think of.”
“What kinda shit?”
Cloud wrinkled his brow as he quickly glanced at Zack, but just as quickly he looked away again, and out in his room. “That you’re gonna lord this over me. Hit me with the ‘I told you so’s’. I don't like the idea that I can't handle this myself. It was my choice to sign up to that program. I hate that… I hate that you're seeing me like this. I hate that we—I didn't want it to be like this. I don't want your pity, your sympathy. I don't want SOLDIER first class, Zack Fair, hero of the people only doing this to rescue me. I don't want to be rescued.” Cloud grimaced and his hand went to his crotch to rub himself through his slacks.
A current of shock buzzed through Zack. How could Cloud even think that of him! “I won't lord this over you. We don't ever have to talk about this ever again.”
Cloud grunted. “So we're going to pretend this never happened? That you didn't—in me, like twice? That you sucked on me?” He grimaced.
Panic rose in Zack. “You said you were okay with it.” Had he inadvertently taken advantage of Cloud and molested him? “I offered you to do the same to me.” Like that somehow made it better. Zack was not happy with this turn of events. “Why didn't you?” Was he blaming him? Zack wanted to scream. He wasn't good with words.
Cloud shook his head. “Forget it.”
Zack laid his hand on Cloud’s shoulder, gripping him in desperation. “No, you just said you didn't want us to pretend this didn't happen, so out with it. I need to know if I hurt you. I think I hurt you.” He frowned with worry and spoke with panic.
Cloud clenched his jaw and he still refused to acknowledge Zack but he said, “You didn't.”
Zack breathed a huge sigh of relief, but he didn't let either of them off the hook. “So what is it?”
Cloud mulled something over in his head for a few moments and then, with his head sinking down even further, he said, “You're going to laugh.”
“I won't. I swear. You're my best friend—just don't tell Kunsel, okay? Anything you tell me I keep safe.”
The briefest of smiles lit Cloud's face, but then he gave an exasperated grumble and clutched his head. “That’s the problem.”
“What is?”
“We’re friends.”
Zack stared, dumbfounded and not comprehending. “Wha—?”
Cloud sighed. “I think about you all the time.”
“I think about you too, buddy.”
Cloud winced. “No. I think about you—all the time.”
“Ah… yeah… me too? As I said, I really missed you while I was away.”
Cloud huffed, trying to push Zack’s hand off his shoulder. “Forget it.”
He let go but took hold of Cloud’s hand instead. “No, make me understand.”
Fingers twitched and flexed in Zack’s hand. Cloud chewed on his lips and then turned, finally fully looking at Zack. His eyes trailed down and… lingering on Zack’s crotch.
Zack looked down at himself as well and then… his mouth drifted open. Was… Cloud saying what he thought he was saying. Zack had no chance to ask because in a flash Cloud lurched forward and pressed his lips against Zack's, catching him off guard and freezing him in place, wide-eyed in bewilderment. He blinked at pale, feverish skin. Beautiful blue eyes were shut tight, breath blew against Zack’s cheek. He felt his heart begin to race and then Cloud pulled away.
“Never mind,” Cloud said quietly, trying to move away from Zack.
Zack’s brain unfogged and he sprang into action, reaching out, stopping Cloud from getting up as he cupped Cloud’s face and turned him toward himself. He leaned in without a second thought and their lips connected. Instead of just an unreceptive press of lips, Zack actually kissed, capturing Cloud’s top lip and sucking. Cloud reciprocated shyly after a hesitant moment. They moved together clumsy and uncertain of each other, tasting sugar and the lime flavor of the drink they just had. Zack tilted his head, pushing his chin against Cloud’s and sucking a little harder on Cloud’s lips and tongue.
They pulled apart but Zack kept his forehead pressed to Cloud's. He was as breathless as if he had just fought an army. “I think I get it now,” he huffed. “You want me to want to do this with you because I have actual feelings for you, and not because I feel sorry for you or want to save you for an ego boost.”
Cloud nodded.
“I'm a bit thick but I get it eventually,” he gave a small laugh and smiled.
“Do you?” Cloud asked, quiet as a mouse.
“Hmm?” Zack pulled back a little so he could see more of Cloud’s flushed face.
“Have feelings for me,” Cloud elaborated, his eyes looking shimmery and wet and only holding the eye contact for a split second.
“Cloud,” Zack smiled softly. “I do. Yeah. You're my best friend. The idea of anything hurting you kills me. That's why I need to make you come… because I care about you. I think about you every second I’m not with you.”
A reluctant sort of joy battled its way to the surface on Cloud’s face and his eyebrows strained to keep their sour expression. A smile tugged at his lips even as he said, “You're not just saying that?”
“No. If… if this was happening to anyone else—to Kunsel… I’d have dragged him out to Wall Market and paid for a room for him and however many ladies he might need. But you… you,” he stroked the side of Cloud's face, “I don't want anyone but me to help you… to touch you.” He felt protective over Cloud all of a sudden. Possessive even. “Is that what you wanna hear? Because that’s how I feel about you. Only you.”
Cloud nodded and the depth of despair lifted from his face, making his eyes and smile shine.
Zack’s breath caught in his chest at the sight and he let out a long sigh. “Thank goodness. I was feeling like a creep doing this with you. The fact that we like each other makes me feel better.”
“I'm glad one of us is feeling better,” Cloud muttered.
“Oh no, I didn't mean it like that.”
“No, it’s fine. At least something good came from this, even if it’s not me.”
The laugh burbled out of Zack. He slapped his hand across his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled through his fingers.
Cloud cracked a smile and huffed out a sound of amusement, which caused relief to flow through Zack. But then the smile faded and Cloud winced in pain, head dropping down.
“Okay, can we try again? Can I try to make you feel better because I really care about you and I want to see you happy?”
“What’re we going to do?” Cloud asked, righting himself again a little.
Zack leaned into Cloud, running his hand up his neck and cupping his cheek again. “I wanna make out with you and see where we end up. Is that all right?”
A soft exhale matched the soft smile. Cloud nodded and Zack tilted his head pushing Cloud’s head against the wall with the kiss he planted on him. This time it was a lot surer. They moved against each other in unison, mouths open, tongues gently but firmly rubbing against each other. Zack felt the flutters in his chest stirring at the clear desire Cloud showed him in the way they kissed. At last his worries evaporated because his dream was coming true. Zack slid his hands over Cloud’s body, under his shirt, feeling hot skin, flat abs, smooth flesh.
Zack moaned into Cloud’s mouth and left lighter kisses on his hot mouth. “You’re really sexy under all your clothes.” He went back to kissing Cloud deeply and brushed Cloud’s sides. He grabbed tightly and dragged Cloud onto his lap. Legs tightened around Zack’s sides and Cloud rocked into him a little. Zack trailed kisses down Cloud’s slender neck and placed a few more just at the collar of Cloud’s shirt, which he pulled open a little to place even more kisses on the well-defined collarbone.
“You really like me?” Cloud asked.
“I do. The way you stick to your guns, your determination, drive, passion. You’re an inspiration.”
“Zack,” Cloud sounded disbelieving and tired.
Zack looked up from where he was sucking on clammy skin. “I mean it. Some days I wake up and don’t wanna do anything. But I think of you and how you’d kill to be in my position, so I get up, do the menial tasks because… well because I don’t want to dishonor what you hold dear.”
Cloud cupped Zack’s face and looked at him for a moment. Blue eyes scanned, looking for… sincerity? His smile unfurled and warmth bloomed in Zack’s heart at the sight.
“I hold you dear,” Cloud said quietly.
Zack bit his lip. Why had he never seen it so clearly as he did now, at this moment? Cloud was everything. “You’re amazing.” He kissed the other man, hungry for Cloud like he had never been before, but he was also sure it wouldn’t be the last time. He stood up, carrying Cloud to the bed and dropped him onto the mattress gently. Zack repositioned himself on top of Cloud and resumed their kissing.
Hands went everywhere, pants were undone and flies and undergarments pushed aside. Zack touched and pumped Cloud, giving him much needed relief. Cloud kneaded Zack’s taut skin and muscles, bucking into his hand.
“I want to have sex with you, because I want you, because I care about you,” Zack husked as he kissed into Cloud’s hairline, behind his ear.
A breathy huff came out of Cloud. “I want that too, I want you. You’re all I think about when I want to get off.”
Zack shivered over Cloud’s words and then he shivered more at Cloud maneuvering himself so he could kiss Zack with a greedy and deep-exploring tongue,
The next thing Zack was aware of was something cold pressed into his hand. He looked at the lubricant, uncapping and squeezing the liquid out into his other hand. He kept kissing Cloud, pulling on his lips while he pushed his fingers into Cloud, slickening the other man up. Small needy and pleasurable sounds emanating from Cloud and his hot hands went to his own cock for more friction and to Zack's, stroking him firm and spreading the lube he had gotten onto his own hand. A few more kisses rained down before Zack was all ready and he spread Cloud open, pushing himself inside and eliciting deep and satisfying groans out of both of them.
"You feel so good. Cloud, I want you. All of you. Every bit of you. Let go for me. Let me see you," he murmured between kisses and deep thrusts.
Cloud held firm, his grip tight around Zack's shoulders, his nails slightly digging, and his whimpers keening. Zack fucked his friend—his best friend—his adorable, precious, stubbornly determined Chocobo. He increased his speed, frantically pounding into Cloud's hot and tight embrace. He gave it all he could, even reaching down between them and pumping Cloud as best he could to some semblance of a rhythm matching his jerky penetration.
Cloud's grip around Zack tightened; wrapping his legs around Zack's hips, drawing him down deeper, making Cloud pant louder in Zack's ear.
"Is this—good?" Zack strained.
Cloud nodded. "So—good. So right."
Zack groaned and slammed himself into Cloud even harder for as long as he could before he came. His aim was—had been—to stop before it was too late, but Cloud dug his fingernails in, moaned deeply and told him, ordered him—to, “Fuck me so hard that I need a phoenix down!” that Zack lost all semblance of restraint and with a raging roar fucked Cloud’s ass so vigorously that he lost himself and came while he bit into Cloud’s shoulder, making Cloud cry out in pain.
“Shit, shit, sorry, you okay? Cloud!” Zack chuffed, unable to see straight but knowing he had hurt the other man.
Cloud groaned. “Don’t stop.”
Zack tried to rouse himself, nudging his hips and his spent arousal inside of Cloud and also resumed his stroking and rubbing Cloud’s beading slit. Zack looked down at him and stared.
“What?”
“Ah…” He took deep breaths to steady himself. The heat of Cloud around him, the sight of Cloud below him; flushed cheeks, glistening skin, developing and toning muscles tensing and relaxing with his own breath—“You're really handsome," he puffed. "Y'know that? You always were but now… all the training you've been doing… it really shows and this really suits you." He rubbed his hand up and down Cloud's torso; his abs; obliques; pecs—rubbing and pinching at a nipple.
Cloud gasped and his cheeks and chest tinged red.
"You're beautiful." Zack leaned down and kissed him gently. Cloud's arms wrapped around his back, went into his hair and pushed him deeper into the kiss.
Cloud hungered for him, sucking on him deeply. Zack canted his hips gently, pushing in and out of Cloud tenderly while they kissed and moaned. His soft shaft was already throbbing again with excitement. The energy drinks really helped, along with the realization that Cloud thought of him in a special way.
Zack pulled out of the kiss. He brushed Cloud's hair up and away from his face, kissed his cheeks and smiled down at him as he pulled out of his ass.
A flash of disappointment breezed over Cloud's face. "What are you—”
Zack kissed Cloud again. “I want to try the thing we haven’t tried yet.” He stroked Cloud’s burning hot shaft. Cloud lolled his head to either side and pushed his hips up. He gave a nod.
“Please. I want that. I want you. I—” Cloud’s abdomen quaked as he panted.
Zack felt it. He knew it. “I love you too, Cloud.”
Cloud blinked rapidly and focused on Zack’s smiling face for a moment, lips apart, eyes wide. And then a smile unfurled and softened his expression; it was the look Cloud always got when he thought of home. Zack leaned down again, pressing tender kisses to Cloud’s cheek and lips while he fumbled for the lubricant. On locating it he pulled off Cloud, sat up and squirted a large amount into the palm of his other hand. He threw the now-empty bottle over the side off the bed, rubbed his hands together, eliciting a squelching sound and then stroked Cloud’s cock while he reached behind himself with his other hand to prepare himself.
Cloud, looking quite feverish simply lay there enjoying Zack’s strokes and rubs of his head, relieving some of the unbearable tension and need in his body and taking the occasional pause from writhing to look at Zack touching him and just looking at Zack in general.
Zack smiled down at his best friend, while he kept pumping and lathering the shaft between his fingers, and stretching and wetting his ass. “I hope this’ll help.”
“Even… even if it doesn’t… I’m… still happy,” Cloud murmured.
Zack smiled wider. “I’m happy too. I’ll be a lot happier when you aren’t suffering, though. I want to do this with you again when you aren’t in agony.”
“A-again? You… want to do this again? With me?” Cloud’s eyelashes fluttered, baffled.
Zack laughed, a deep rumble to his tone. “Of course.” He pulled his fingers out of himself, his hand off Cloud’s straining need and scooched up, hovering above the other man’s hips. “I think—and you don’t have to say yes, right now,” he added hastily, “but I think I’d like to be your boyfriend and see where this might go.” He shifted, maneuvered the base of Cloud’s shaft back and lowered himself down, hissing and groaning at the heat and stretch and, “Fuck, you feel so good!” Tingles erupted through Zack’s body as he lowered himself. Cloud’s shaft was scorching hot inside of Zack but immensely satisfying as well. He rumbled deep in his throat with satisfaction as he got all of Cloud inside himself and sat on his lap.
Cloud’s eyes were squeezed shut and he gaped like a goldfish. His abdominal muscles rippled and it’s like his voice had been stolen from him.
“You okay, buddy?” Zack cupped Cloud’s face with concern.
Cloud’s eyes sprang open; a feral glint flashing through them. A guttural roar erupted and Cloud shot up, swung his arm and whole body, toppling them both over and off the bed. Zack grunted, slamming onto the floor, his head cracking, his shoulders and backside stinging and Cloud’s weight on top knocking the wind out of him.
Cloud huffed erratically. “Shit. S-sorry. Shit! Are you okay?” He touched Zack all over, softly, gently checking to make sure he was okay.
Zack winced but laughed. “Shit, man. That’s hot. Channel that energy and fuck me.”
Cloud blushed a deep crimson. His cock was still deeply embedded inside of Zack and his attention seemed to return to his need just as Zack squeezed his insides around the hot shaft. Cloud slumped forward, resting his forehead on Zack’s shoulder, one hand under Zack’s ass, and the other arm at Zack’s side, supporting himself. He rocked in and out of Zack, the relief he got evident in the strum of his vocal cords as he murmured and hummed and huffed.
Cloud’s motions built back up the cooling furnace of desire in the pit of Zack’s stomach. He wrapped a leg behind Cloud, pushing him in harder against himself with every forward thrust, making them both moan with delighting need. Zack slid his arms around Cloud’s shoulders, hugging him, holding him, touching and fondling the definition in the muscles he found there.
Heat and sweat clung to their bodies and they gripped each other fiercely. Zack tried to keep his strength in check but the way Cloud rutted into him made him tense and coil as he struggled to keep his climax at bay. But he couldn’t; too wound up, turned on, still heady with the realization of what Cloud meant to him, and he to Cloud. His whole body tensed. “Fuck! Cloud!,” he grit his teeth holding, holding, holding—snap! He came with a deep groan spurting up Cloud’s abdomen, making Cloud whine and moan and fuck himself harder, deeper into Zack’s ass with fury and passion and desperation.
Zack’s orgasm kept rolling through him, sending a white noise through his ears, but as it cleared he heard Cloud’s labored breath, his hitching voice, and the hot, wet tears on his skin. Cloud trembled but kept hammering into Zack, needing his fill, needing to be completely drained.
“I can’t, I can’t,” Cloud chanted as he fucked, forlorn and desperate.
Zack groaned, pushed his leg, which still hooked around Cloud, further to the side and rolled them over, nearly landing them under the bed, but Zack hoisted Cloud up and away a little. He looked down at Cloud, his cheeks still red, but a tragic sadness painting his lips and brow.
“Nothing works,” he said bitterly.
“I’m not giving up, and neither should you. Were you feeling close?”
Cloud shook his head. “I need… more. I don’t know what though.”
Zack hummed and looked around himself. He spotted a toy and leaned toward the bed, grabbing it. “I’ll put this in you.” He pushed a button, bringing the vibration to life. “I’ll make you cum, Cloud. I will. SOLDIER’s honor.”
Cloud huffed; a little happy, a little sad. He handed Zack a tube of lube he pulled out from under his bed and canted his hips, stimulating himself whilst still inside of Zack, while Zack slathered up the toy and then moved it behind himself to push it inside of Cloud.
Cloud inhaled deeply. The plug sat snug against him and Zack turned it on. Cloud arched his back and mewled. Zack shivered at the sight and sound. He was a picture of perfection he wanted to see more of… but without the agonizing pain. Never that. He leaned down, sliding one hand under and around the back of Cloud’s shoulders, and his other one around the top of Cloud’s head, cradling him and kissed delectable lips; once, twice, thrice. He rocked on and off Cloud in a gentle rhythm, building momentum and speed. He fought against the shooting sensitivity inside his ass from his previous orgasm. It was nothing compared to Cloud’s state so he could easily survive this.
They kept kissing and huffing and puffing against each other. Cloud’s arms snaked up Zacks sides and broad back. Holding him, clinging, desperate as Zack worked his hips and ground his ass against Cloud’s hot shaft, pulling off almost all the way before plunging back down, and moving to shallow humping, nudging, and back to full on smashing himself onto Cloud’s burning need.
Their kissing broke at some point. Neither of them getting enough air. Cloud whined and groaned. Zack moaned and grit his teeth against the fire in his core and ass. The need to ejeculate upon him once again because Cloud’s cock was just, “Perfect. You’re so perfect. So special. Cloud. Fuck! I love you. I love you. I love you,” he murmured hoarsely with each push onto Cloud’s infernal and blisteringly hot erection.
Zack cried out in pain and ecstasy. Cloud’s nails dug, his legs suddenly shot up and clamped down around Zack’s hips, locking him down, and Cloud roared from the pit of his stomach, arching his back as heat like molten lava spewed out of him and into Zack’s ass.
The harsh cries of release kept coming out of Cloud, as did his cum. Zack could feel it leaking out of his ass, a river of pent up desire and frustration. He couldn't move; Cloud wrapped around him like a vice of limbs, despite the trembling his whole body was experiencing. And then he went completely limp, his arms sliding off as if made of lead and his legs like heavy stones splaying out to the side.
Cloud sounded like a locomotive with how he huffed and puffed. Zack looked down with adoration and relief. He witnessed the tremors rippling through Cloud and felt the hot angry cock inside himself finally slip out, soft, spent, decimated and free. But a painful shiver also looked to go through Cloud.
“Za-ck, ou-t. Out,” he whispered and winced.
Zack looked down at Cloud, suddenly affronted with the idea that Cloud wanted him gone; a painful hollow ache flushing through him—but then he heard it; the buzzing.
“Shit.” In a flash he scooched off Cloud and pulled the plug out of his ass, turning it off and tossing it aside. “That better?”
Cloud nodded weakly and hoisted up a ghost of a smile even as he could barely keep his eyes open. Zack ran his hand up and down Cloud’s body, trailing his fingertips over his soft, clammy, and rapidly cooling skin. He dipped down to Cloud’s abdomen and brushed against the much more normal-in-color penis laying floppy along his groin, somewhat submerged in Cloud’s own fluids, which looked a sickly green color.
Zack frowned and worried. He reached between his own legs, feeling the damp oozing out of him.
“Zack,” Cloud managed with more strength and opened his eyes with a flutter. “Thank you. I love you. Thank you.”
Zack smiled. His heart felt too full and brimmed with the adoration he felt for Cloud. He lay down next to Cloud, propping his head up with his hand and draping his other arm over Cloud’s stomach, catching his hand and interlacing their fingers. “I love you too. You don’t have to thank me. You're really okay now?"
Cloud's chest heaved, his skin was so red but he smiled. He couldn't stop smiling. He nodded and laughed and tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.
Zack relaxed, leaned in and kissed Cloud gently. A shiver ran down Zack’s back with Cloud’s reciprocity of a delicate suck of his lip and brushing of tongues. Zack snuggled down closer to Cloud, resting his head on the floor, pulling Cloud to himself and rubbing his nose against the top of Cloud’s wet hair. Cloud wrapped his arm around Zack, shuffled a little nearer and not an atom of space was left between them with how close they lay pressed together.
Their hearts pounded. They could feel the reverberations. Their breaths huffed, and Cloud’s limbs still shook for a long time after.
"I'm so glad you're okay."
"Thank you. Thank you for everything. I know you didn’t mean all that stuff you said about loving me; you were just trying to make me relax so I could cum, but thank you."
Zack roused himself off his blissful cloud. He leaned back a bit and tucked his fingers under Cloud's chin to coax the other man's eyes up toward him. A stormy expression brewed there. Zack stared, somewhat bewildered. "What are you on about? Of course I meant every word. Cloud."
"Gimme a break. As if you'd really have feelings for me. I'm no one—nothing. I'll understand if you never come back to see me again."
Zack looked on, horrified. He forced himself to sit up and Cloud raised himself upright as well. They sat on the floor, Cloud shuffling back toward the bed, to minimize body contact. Zack huffed and scooched after, entangling their legs and grabbing both of, and holding Cloud's hands in his.
"No, Cloud. The only reason I'll never come back here to see you is because I'm getting you out of here. I don't want you to put your body through this kind of hell again because you want privacy. I'll get you some quarters elsewhere, with no strings attached and… and in the meantime, you can come live in my apartment."
"Live with you?"
"Yeah. I’ve got a spare storage room, remember? It’s like half the size of this place. I could fit a bed in there if you want. Or you could put your things in the spare room and sleep in my bed. It’s big enough for both of us, and I’m not in there except for maybe a day or two at most, most weeks. You know how crazy my schedule gets, yeah?”
Cloud stared silently for a few moments, his mouth hanging open. "Why would you… offer that?"
Zack frowned. "Because I wasn't pretending. I didn't say that I loved you and that you're amazing and important to me to put on a show. I love you! Have loved you for a long time. Your attitude, your determination, the cute way you get so shy even after you say or do something to put me in my place." Zack skilled and lifted one of Cloud's hands to his mouth, kissing it. "I want you to be my boyfriend, Cloud Strife. I want to have proper sex with you where you're not in complete pain and misery for more than half or all of it. I… want you bossing me around more. That's so hot. I'm being sincere, Cloud. Really. What can I do to prove it to you?"
Cloud stayed quiet for a while; thinking, looking. His cheeks suddenly flushed redder than before. "You know," he gulped, "that escort service I called…" Cloud looked away and pulled his hand out from Zack's and reached for a stack of papers on the lowest shelf of the bookcase which was within arm's reach. He looked through a few leaflets and then handed one to Zack
Zack took it and looked at the bright, bold advertisement of an escort service. He raised his eyebrows. "A SOLDIER first class impersonator service? I don't know how I feel about this," he said with a laugh. He had heard of Sephiroth impersonators before. That made Zack frown a little.
"I… asked for someone that looked like you. I…" Cloud sunk his head down, unable to look at Zack, who stared in surprise. "I wanted to hire one for so long—it's why I moved in here. Well, part of the reason. So I could be alone. And I guess… I've liked you for so long… this just feels…"
Zack blinked and stared. Cloud had… wanted him? Even a fake him? He didn’t know how, because he was so spent, but that turned him on a little. He breathed out a huff of air. "It’s all a bit much, right? To have everything you thought you knew change, and to have all your secret wishes met." Zack supplied from his own muddled thoughts and experiences.
Cloud nodded.
Zack smiled with all the tender feelings inside himself. “I feel that too, Cloud. I never thought… I’m your superior. I never wanted to use that to my advantage.” He put the flyer down, leaned toward Cloud and hoisted him up onto the bed, where he grabbed the end of the blanket and draped it over Cloud's shoulders and sat down beside him.
“I don’t think of you the way I do because of your status,” Cloud muttered and leaned against Zack and rested his head on Zack's shoulder.
Zack wrapped his arm around Cloud’s waist and hugged him to himself a little tighter. "Good. I… really liked you from the day we met. ANd then getting to know you better… I don't really know when the feelings started—well, I probably do. The way you always look at and talk about Sephiroth. I always wanted you to feel that way about me. But then, at the same time, I see how you get around him and… I didn’t want that actually. I don't want to be idolized by you. I just want your love."
Cloud moved a bit, pulled his hand out from beneath the blanket which he held wrapped around himself and took up and held Zack's hand. "You have that."
Zack squeezed him and smiled, dropping a kiss atop Cloud's head. "And you have mine, and I'll do whatever I can to prove it to you, and to keep proving it to you."
Cloud moved his head and looked at Zack, a soft smile blooming. Zack leaned in, Cloud closed the last of their distance and kissed him.
"Thank you, Zack. Thank you for being here and bringing me soup and… for not leaving when I told you to and for everything."
Zack chuckled and pressed another kiss to Cloud's chapped lips. "You're my mission. I never abandon a mission. I'll help you get into the SOLDIER program, I'll help you get a better place than this. I'll always be here for you." He made a fist and held up his arm.
Cloud smiled, also raised his fisted hand and pressed it against Zack's as he nodded.
Zack beamed with elation. "So how about it; move in with me? Be my boyfriend? I'll talk with Lorraine in charge of the unit blocks to see if she's got anything freeing up soon. But I definitely want you outta here and no longer taking strange pills."
A chuckle left Cloud at that. "You really want to be boyfriends?” he asked softly.
Zack nodded. “Yeah, but no pressure. You don’t owe me or anything like that," he thought he'd clarify.
Cloud shook his head. “No, I don't feel like I do. Though I am grateful that you’re here and such a good friend. Such a…” his voice dropped down into a shy whisper, “great boyfriend.”
Zack grew tingly all over again. “Will you accept my offer of staying with me?”
Cloud nodded, slow at first but it quickly sped up in strength. “Yeah. If that's okay.”
“Of course it is.”
"Alright then. I guess if I have the real Zack Fair I don't need to live here to get a fake one."
Zack laughed brightly and pulled Cloud into a fierce hug, peppering him in kisses. “What was he like? Did he look like me?”
Cloud pulled away a little to look over Zack. “He sort of did. He had your nose and your tan, but I think it was fake. He doesn’t have your smile though, your laugh, your hands.” Cloud pulled Zack’s hand up to his cheek and nuzzled into it.
Zack leaned in again and kissed Cloud softly; a glint of amazement coursed through him with every free kiss he got and took from the other man. “I’m glad I got to give you the real deal.”
“You’re way more effective than a fake or the chicken soup. I don’t think it would have done me any good. Would have just made me feel worse.”
Zack squeezed and hugged Cloud tightly. “I’m here to always make you feel better.”
“Thank you.”
They shared another kiss and then reluctantly detangled from each other to go and shower together before making plans to exit Cloud out of the Stacks program and get him settled into Zack’s apartment.
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