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#he didn't show and hadn't answered or even opened my messages since the scheduled meeting time
advisorsage · 7 months
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#guess i needed a reminder that no one actually finds me attractive#i was feeling so good about myself too#and the guy was so sweet in his messages#but no#he didn't show and hadn't answered or even opened my messages since the scheduled meeting time#of course no one would actually want to see me in person#who did i think i was#a divine being#surely not#I've got to stop encouraging myself#if i stop allowing myself to believe the people who message me maybe i won't get so hurt when they inevitably turn out to be lying#it's not like the universe would ever allow anyone to find me attractive and be respectful towards me#that would just be ridiculous#i know i shouldn't be complaining#horrible things are happening in the world#i just can't stop crying over an asshole that pretended to be sweet and my kind of guy#today was supposed to be a high note to bring me into my birthday and being alone for a week#now i see it's just a standard bad start to what's going to go terribly#I'm almost convinced i should cancel the lunch with the church lady tomorrow#hell knows that won't go well either at this rate#the worst part is i just know that if he messages me with some lame fake excuse I'll just jump at the chance to forgive him#why the hell do i have to feel attraction at all#i liked things better when i thought i was aroace#being greyace sucks#i found someone to be attracted to and he pretended to be attracted to me for no reason#i already told my sibling to ignore this post before i started typing it cause i don't want zir reaction on the internet#anyway#I'll stop taking up space now#fuck
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unchained-hound-dog · 2 years
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can you do a super angsty long distance fic where urban and reader get into a fight about urban entertaining other women and the reader being busy with school and urban says something dumb and mean which results in her ignoring him and he has to make amends and show her him much he cares
Here you go!
Urban had been on tour for 3 months, the distance wasn't something that you ever really noticed at first, you'd facetime a lot, plus you were out of school for summer so you were able to go around the country with him. However you were now back in class and Urban was in countries where the time difference was making it nearly impossible for you both to communicate effectively. You'd be waking up at 7am for class and, across the other side of the world, Urban would be going to bed. By the time your classes were done for the day you'd texted each other twice and the likelyhood of a facetime before you went to bed was extremely unlikely.
'It's not that I don't wanna talk to you baby, our schedules are just clashing so much right now' had been Urban's response to you when you'd argued to him about the lack of time he had to message you.
'You seem to have so much time for all these girls on tour though, I've seen the pictures Urb' this was your first facetime call in over a week, it was 9pm for you and around 2pm for Urban, he had a quiet 30 minutes and so he'd called you.
'Y/N' he shook his head and rolled his eyes, moving around slightly before speaking again 'those girls are nothing'
'Mmm yeah okay well the one where she's bent over in front of you looks like something'
'Okay and did you see me in the picture? Uncomfortable as fuck' he shrugs his shoulders
'Why are you putting yourself in situations where girls can do that shit?'
He sucked his teeth before saying 'You know what, sometimes its nice to speak to girls who don't constantly have an attitude'
Your mouth fell open slightly, tears brimming in your eyes before you blinked them back and held your finger above the red end call button 'fuck you Urban, fuck you' you pressed the button, the screen closing.
You didn't have an attitude, you just needed your boyfriend so spend some time talking to you and not fawning over girls in a club. You knew Urban's past, he had never kept it a secret, before he'd met you, he'd sleep around when he was on the road but he'd fell in love with you and hadn't slept with anyone since meeting you. You knew this, you trusted him and you knew he'd never do something that would hurt you, but you were so exhausted from school and so emotional over him being away.
-
'She hasn't answered any of my calls for 2 days and the only reason I know she's even alive is cause she's reading my messages and not replying' Urban was sat on the tour bus with Jack and Neelam, the two of them listening to their friends troubles.
'Well first of all you're a scumbag for talking to the best thing in you life like that, and second of all, you're a scumbag' Neelam shook her head as she leant back in the chair
'Thanks' Urban shot her a sarcastic smile before turning to Jack
'Man if she isn't answering your calls you need to go see her, short this shit out'
Urban scoffed, the idea of him leaving this tour was stupid. He'd never not toured with Jack, never missed a single day.
'You either go home and fix this shit or you'll lose the her Urban'
-
You were exhausted, your day had been one thing after another, you'd dropped your coffee all over the floor of your car, you'd backed too far into a space and knocked your rear end on a tree, you'd forgotten your textbooks and lunch. Walking out of the building at the end of the day was bliss, you drove home and got up to your apartment, finally ready to chill out and sleep.
However something was off as soon as you stepped foot inside your apartment, it smelt different, cologne mixed with a hint of weed, you placed your bag down on the side before stepping around the corner and into the living room.
'Hi' Urban was sat on the couch, a bunch of roses in his hand as he waited for your response.
'Urban wha-'
'I didn't mean what I said, I'm so stupid for talking to you like that. Not once did I ask you how school was going and I'm so sorry for that. You don't have to accept my apology but I'm home for a week so if you wanted to we cou-' you cut him off
'A week?' you were confused, Urban never missed tour, ever
'Yeah, we fly back here in one week and tour more of the states so you can come on tour with us again'
'And when you go away again?' you crossed your arms
'I promise you I will be more available to talk to you, and no more clubbing'
'Urb' you let out a small laugh 'the clubbing didn't bother me, seeing you with those girls didn't bother me as much as I let on, it was the fact they were spending more time with you than I was'
'And that will change baby, I promise, come here' he stood up, placing the flowers on the coffee table and pulling you into his arms
'I love you so much' You pressed a long kiss to his lips before pulling away
'I love you to, so much'
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wastelandcth · 3 years
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Starstruck - cth
part four: travels abroad  part one || part two || part three
summary: calum and his superstar travel to korea for a fan event.
author’s notes: this was requested a while ago and i may have forgotten about it when my inbox deleted everything but i found it recently! i hope you enjoy!
anon requested:  since ur talking about koreasos! could you maybe write something continuing starstruck and the boys are doing the show in korea and when the reader who’s famous gets asked to do it she invites cal and they both get to experience it together
masterlist || request 
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Calum loved when the band traveled to Asia, he loved exploring the cities and getting lost in the cultures they had to offer. They'd be in Korea for two days now, most of which he'd spent too jet-lagged to even remember anything he'd been meant to be doing. But he'd spent the last two weeks missing his girlfriend who he knew would've loved to be exploring the city with him. She'd been busy with some media business and due to the time difference that had made it nearly impossible to talk to her much, Calum missed his girlfriend.
The band had been tasked with filming themselves exploring one of the districts in Korea, exploring and trying pretty much any food that they could get their hands on. It had been a day of walking around market halls, getting lost with Ashton in an alleyway, and eating way too many dumplings. Calum barely remembered making it back to his hotel room and falling asleep on the couch, it wasn't until he heard steady knocking on his door that he shifted from his position and found himself on the floor that he realized he'd been asleep.
Picking himself up from the floor, Calum groaned as he felt the ache in his back. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and made his way towards the door, his brain crowded by sleep and annoyance at whoever kept knocking on his door. With hesitation, he opened the door to at least stop whoever thought they could knock consistently for three minutes from causing the pulsing headache that he was sure would start soon.
"Hey handsome, I was getting worried." she laughed softly as she saw Calum open the door, his eyes were red from the nap she'd assumed he'd been taking since he never answered her calls or text messages. "Thought you had gotten lost somewhere in Korea and I was going to have to find you."
Calum didn't know whether his brain was playing tricks on him or whether she was actually standing in front of him. Maybe it'd been all those dumplings he'd stuffed into his body earlier that day, maybe it was a dumpling-induced sleep coma dream that brought her to his hotel room but he was going to revel in it for as long as he could. It wasn't until Calum felt her arms wrap around him and pull him close that he realized that it wasn't a dream and his superstar was in Korea hugging him. And the second he pulled her closer into his arms and felt her body next to his, Calum felt like he was back at home.
Jet lag eventually led both of them back into bed and in each other's arms. Calum tried his best to stay awake and listen to her as she talked about her plane journey here and why she was even in South Korea with him, but his eyelids drooped and he found himself drifting off in her arms before he could stop himself. The next time Calum woke up, he saw the city lights from the window across the room and heard the rain hitting the window. She was in his arms, both of them having shifted during their sleep with limbs intertwined and her face pressed against his chest. Calum had missed waking up next to her like this, he missed the way she let out quiet noises while she slept and the way her eyebrows would scrunch up when she got too hot and would throw the covers off her body.
A few hours later, as the nightlife in Korea seemed to be crowding the small alleyways that were lined with restaurants and shops that called both their names to explore, Calum found himself with a beer in one hand and the love of his life in the other. The guys had been almost as excited as Calum had been when they heard about her being there, immediately suggesting a night out on the town to celebrate. After a short conversation with the receptionist in the lobby on the best place to find some fun at night, they all found themselves in a karaoke bar singing along while having too many beers and too many plates of food that the waitress would bring them every once in a while. Calum was watching Michael perform his rendition of Bad Romance, a song he surprisingly knew all the lyrics to, while she sang along next to him.
"I'm really glad you're here. I missed you." Calum whispered in her ear, "Are you all done filming for the rest of the year?"
"I am. Don't have anything else scheduled until February, I think." she mumbled and smiled, "I missed you too."
The night had gone on with more drinks and more delicious food. By the end of the night, when Calum was leading her back to the hotel room and they were both tumbling down the hallways trying to find their room in a fit of giggles, Calum realized that the band had a busy day the next morning and he was almost definitely waking up with a massive hangover. By the time he and his superstar were laying in bed and in each other's arms, the sun was rising and Calum knew he'd only have an hour or two of good sleep before he would be woken up by someone from their team knocking on the door.
The fan event had been the band's idea, a way to give back to all the fans who they rarely got to see and interact with. It was a weekend event where the band would do panels and end it all with a concert. What Calum and the band didn't know was that the host of the show just happened to be their favorite superstar. When Calum woke up that morning, his head pounding and the other side of his hotel bed cold, he couldn't help but be in a bad mood. As he jumped into the shower and tried to wake up, he couldn't help but let his sour mood cloud the fact that his girlfriend was nowhere to be found. She'd probably left to grab some breakfast or to explore the city on her own while Calum had to survive a hangover and deal with hours of press.
Riding in the car to wherever the event was being held, at this point in the morning, Calum didn't even bother to ask where they were headed; he just hoped they had coffee. He still had no messages from her about where she was and Calum had almost thought he'd dreamed of her being there but his hangover definitely wasn't a dream. So when he and the guys walked into the event center where their fan concert was going to be held, he hadn't expected to see her on the center stage doing a mic check.
"What're you doing?" Calum asked with a frown, his eyebrows furrowing as he walked over to her, "You just disappeared this morning without saying anything!" he whined.
"I told you I was hosting the event." she giggled out, way too cheery for someone who had drunk almost as much as Calum had the night before. "I had to be here early to go over the schedule and figure out what I was going to say."
So maybe Calum wasn't the best listener, maybe he was a little jet-lagged and that meant that he didn't hear the moment she'd told him exactly what she was doing here with him in South Korea. But now that things made sense, Calum's sour mood seemed to go away and he was even more excited about the show than he had been before. With a kiss on her forehead and a promise to see her before the show started, Calum left to find the rest of his band and get ready for what was sure to be a great show.
Calum had been obsessed with staring out of his hotel room window. The view of the city had been his favorite since that first night the band had landed and he'd been missing his superstar. Even now, as he heard her singing from the shower while he wound down from the meet and greets, the signings, and the concert of the day, he was still entranced by the city lights below him. He was glad that they had a few more days in Seoul, something he hadn't been glad about a few days ago, but now he had more time to spend with the love of his life in a city full of adventure. Taking one last look at the skyline, Calum smiled before walking off to join his superstar in the shower.
taglist: @hoodhoran​​ @finelliine​​ @moonlightcriess​​ @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver​ @calpops​ @karajaynetoday​ @notlukehemmo​ @calumrose​ @devilatmydoor​ @lyss-xo @lowkeyflop​  @stollls @hemmo1996-5sosvevo​ @myloverboyash​
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ghostofbrock · 4 years
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venomous words
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on a rainy afternoon in new jersey, the kids didn't have an option to go outside or not since they knew how strict their mother was on days like this and how their father would react if he saw mud tracked into the house. they'd be toast with the chancla.
so ellie played with her barbie dolls on the carpet in the living room floor with a small smile on her face, giovanni sat on the couch and watched over his baby sister while trying to look for something to watch in netflix, specifically a movie. luke and auggie were upstairs in their room playing whatever the newer generation was into. the two boys were in sweats that had crumbs on them since the boys were munching on potato chips as they played their game. their mother had just arrived from long and stressful day at work, she sat in her car for a minute or two to collect herself before entering her home where her babies and husband would be waiting for arrival. well maybe just her babies... once again.
she covered herself with her purple umbrella since it was pouring rain as she got out her car, closed the door and locked it before walking to her front porch that wrapped around the house. she closed her umbrella as soon as she was covered by the porch's roof. she grabbed her house key out of her pocket and opened her door.
"mom's home!"
she hasn't stepped foot into her home and she was already called out by her kids. luke and auggie jumped out their beds and ran downstairs as soon as they heard their older brother yell. ellie dropped her doll and skipped over to her mommy as gio stood up from the couch and walked over to her.
as sara closed the door behind her and turned around, she was attacked by hugs all over her body. from her thighs to her shoulders, her children had her trapped in a loving hug.
after she kissed them each and asked about how their day went, they went back to what they were doing before she came home. later they were expecting a home cooked meal that she always provided for them since mattia rarely cooked for them nowadays and sara didn't like having her kids eating fast food all the time either for their health. at times it was acceptable but if they didn't need to eat it then they wouldn't.
sara was now sitting at the island that was in the kitchen, she opened the bottled water she grabbed from the fridge and took a sip.
"how was work?" her oldest son's voice came from behind her. he walked from behind her to next to her and leaned against the marble island. "stressful. overwhelming. busy. i don't know how i'm gonna do it..." she rubs her temples with a groan. "don't over work yourself, ma. you got this, you always do." gio rubs his moms shoulder softly and flashed her a smile. a smile that made her feel better and made her smile.
"i know it's just that i wanna do as much as i can for this project. i've worked my ass off for years for this to finally happen and i'm so close. only a few more months of ridiculous amount of stress then i'll have my own clothing line." a weak smile formed on her lips, gio's heart swells at the sight. he knows how much his mom has been wanting this but he also knows how much she can overwork herself.
"isn't dad helping you with any of it? he said he would, right?" gio asked with his mother with hope as she took another sip of her water. "uh yeah. he is but there's certain things he can't help with." she gave her son a tight smile laced with lies.
truth is mattia hadn't even talked to sara about her huge project that she has been working on for over a year now. he thinks his wife can do it herself because of how strong she is but little did he know how weak she was getting from handling everything by herself. she was never the one to ask for help but this time she did ask for help from her husband but his answer?
"you're being dramatic"
so she never asked again and instead asked her close friends who were of course open to help with anything she needed. she knew that the kids had brought up the project while they talked to mattia recently either at dinner or something similar. and being the good father mattia is he had to lie because he knew if his kids found out their parents weren't helping each other out then they'd question why and jump to conclusions which leads to arguments and picking "sides".
"oh yeah. i've been helping her with scheduling everything and keeping the tabloids updated. she's not as stress thanks to me."
sara would just simply nod and give a small nod to the kids and glare at mattia who just rolled his eyes at her.
"like what?" gio asked. "it's personal business stuff, g. don't worry about it, okay? i'll be fine. but did your dad take you guys out for breakfast like he said he would?" she changed the subject with a smile.
gio avoided eye contact with her which she automatically meant no.
"h-he just forgot. that's all." he stuttered a bit. sara tried to remain as calm as she could. she didn't want to lash out in front of her baby and took a mental note to talk to mattia tonight about not taking the kids out for breakfast.
"you don't have to lie to me, ya know? i won't get mad at him." she sighed and gave her son a reassuring look. "when i woke up this morning he wasn't here. he sent me a text as well saying that something came up and he had to go meet up with his manager for a gig." he simply explains. "so i made breakfast for us instead and lunch too. he sent us money for post mates but i was just mad-" he stopped himself from venting to his mother about his father.
"i didn't use the money. that's all." he shrugs as sara looks at him with sympathy.
"he promised me that he'd try hard for us. to try being more involved... why would he lie?" gio claps his hands together. "sometimes work gets in the way of things, honey. trust me if he could clear his schedule for a whole week just to be with us he would, okay?" the fact that sara was defending mattia wasn't something she wanted to do.
she had to because she didn't want her son to think bad about his own father, she was trying to protect at least both of them.
after their little conversation sara made dinner while the kids were being entertained by the activities they were doing before she got home. as sara looked over at the clock, she sighed.
it was seven o' clock and mattia still wasn't home. usually he'd send his wife a text saying that he was going to be home late but when sara checked her phone she had no new messages. the kids were now sitting at the table with their mother. she sneaked a quick text to mattia before eating with her babies.
sara: are you on your way yet?
she got no response after she sent it. she called twice and still nothing. she was beyond livid at this point. first, he didn't take the kids out for the day, then he doesn't respond to her text or calls her back? this was the third time this month that this occurred. she didn't show it but she was pissed off at dinner and while she tucked this kids into bed.
"is daddy gonna tuck me in too?" ellie asked as she held onto her stuffed giraffe. "yes, baby. of course. when he gets home i'll tell him to come and give you a kiss, okay?" sara's soft voice said as she placed a strand of hair behind her ear. ellie simply smiled at her mother.
"goodnight, angel. te amo." sara kisses ellie's nose. "buenas noches, mommy. te amo mas." the two giggled. once sara finishes tucking in her kids, she goes to her bathroom to take a shower. she then changed into some house shorts and one of mattia's shirts that fit her like a dress.
she went to the living room and ate ice cream as she watched good girls. without even knowing it, she fell asleep on the couch. she was woken up by someone whispering her name softly and rubbing her cheek gently with their palm.
she opened her eyes to see mattia with a smile. oh how much she wanted to wipe that stupid smile off his stupid face.
"did you make dinner?" he questions her. "yeah. we ate already so i put your plate in the fridge. now if you excuse me i'm going to bed." she was too tired to deal with him right now. she would have to be up bright and early tomorrow for meetings and such so she just didn't want to argue with her husband right now.
she got up from the couch and tried walking away but mattia reached out for her hand to stop her.
"you guys didn't wait for me? what happened to family dinners?" he asks with a pout as he held her hand. she quickly glanced at the clock on the wall for a time check.
2:34 a.m.
"i was not gonna wait till now to eat with you and neither were the kids, mattia. family dinners means that everyone has to be here at reasonable times." she sighs and glares at him. "where were you anyways, mattia? it's past midnight and you barely got home." she questions quickly and changed the subject.
"i was out. it's not a big deal, babe." he scoffs at her.
"not a big deal? if it's not a big deal then why can't you tell me where you were?" she remarked quickly and crossed her arms over her chest.
mattia gives her a look, as if she was crazy or something. all she wanted to know was where he was at, what was so hard about that?
he started walking to the kitchen, sara quickly followed him.
"sara, i've had a long day. please don't start with me right now..." he huffs as he opens the fridge and grabs his plate of cold food. "says the guy who comes home late smelling like alcohol and cigarettes." she looks at him from across the island.
"i didn't do shit! all i did was go to a bar with alejandro and alvaro after i finished my meetings. they drank but i didn't because i knew you'd react like this and treat me like some kid!" he was getting frustrated with her at this point, he showed it by banging his fist on the island. his breath reeked of alcohol so she was even more pissed off that he was lying to her about drinking.
"all i wanted to do was come home to my wife and kids. a nice home cooked meal and after the kids go to bed and we all settle down, maybe some good sex with my wife but i can't have that can't i? ever since you've gotten this attitude all you ever do is complain! you're on bitch mood twenty four seven, sara!" he was now raising his voice at her.
sara had no energy to argue with him right now. literally nothing left. she had a long day, she just wanted to sleep. she looked at him with tired eyes, she scanned his facial expression and saw the anger he always had all of a sudden now. right now she ignored it and walked away, but he didn't let her.
"where the fuck are you going?" he turned her around a little bit too rough. "to bed, mattia! i'm too tired to deal with your bullshit right now." she stated as she tried not to yell at him.
"whatever. go ahead, walk away. that's all you're good at since you can't do anything right. you definitely can't be a good wife." his words felt like knives. she felt like her heart was getting stabbed completely, over and over again.
she walked off, pretending that what he just said didn't phase her and went upstairs quietly so she wouldn't wake the kids.
little did she know, gio was hiding behind a pillar near the stairs where he heard everything.
she went to the room which she shared with her "husband" and jumped into bed. she laid in bed for a minute, thinking about what mattia said. his words repeating in her head like that one song that could never get out of your head.
"you definitely can't be a good wife."
those venomous words scared her pretty much. she couldn't believe he said that... why would he say that? was she really not a good wife? what was she doing that made her so horrible to him? was it the kisses? was it her cooking? was it her looks? was it the sex? the constant need of having him around? what was it?
whatever it was made her feel like she wasn't good enough which was not the case.
sara was always good enough.
she cried herself to sleep that night. and hours later she felt his presence next to her body, his arms wrapped around her keeping her warm but it didn't make her feel loved like it usually did. no, she had a different feeling. she felt like she was in bed with a stranger. why was she feeling this way? shouldn't she be happy that he was still willing to sleep in the same bed with her?
all the questions she thought of made her feel more insecure, not about herself but about her marriage with the man she loved so much. the last thing she wanted was to lose him, it would ruin her.
she hopes for an apology of some sort. perhaps a date to make it up, she'd be willing to forgive him. she knows he lied about not drinking, mattia could never say no to not have a beer or three with the boys. he wasn't thinking straight, she knows her husband too well.
he just didn't want to admit that he was drinking because he didn't want to feel more guilt than he was already feeling since he missed out on dinner.
so the next morning she was woken up by the smell of pancakes and bacon. she went downstairs and saw gio and mattia cooking at the stove, auggie and ellie coloring on the table while luke looked sleep deprived as he walked into the kitchen with his mom.
"morning, amor." mattia walks over to her holding a plate of stacked pancakes with all the works. he bends down a bit to kiss her oh so sweetly, they both smile into the kiss. "i handled everything you needed to do today so we can all spend quality family time and to start off the day i thought of making breakfast." he hands her the plate where she takes it and sits at the table. once everyone is served the all began to eat.
"you have to cook more, pop. these smack!" auggie speaks as he licks his lips. "maybe i will." mattia laughs as he looks over at his son. "how'd you sleep, ma?" gio asked simply. the way he asked her sounded like he knew something (which he did since he heard what his father told his mom last night) but no one thought too much of it.
"good, baby." she lied with a smile. gio could tell that she was lying but he wasn't going to confront her about eavesdropping on her and mattia.
they all ate breakfast in peace and with joy. gio couldn't stop looking at his mom and dad. especially, his mom since she seemed so happy. didn't mattia's drunk words hurt her? was she really pretending that nothing happened between her and her husband? he couldn't believe she was still protecting mattia after what he told her.
"what's up with you?" luke nudges his older brother's elbow slightly. "what?" was gio's response. "you keep on staring at mom. i get that she's beautiful but it's starting to look weird now. quit it." luke let out a dry chuckle after he spoke.
gio just rolled his eyes and finished his breakfast. once the family finished eating they were told to get ready for a day out. mattia said that he'd be taking them out to the carnival since it happened to be in town.
"hey, can we talk?" mattia closed the door behind him as he walked into his bedroom. sara was sitting at her vanity deciding what necklace to wear that she had in her jewelry box.
"yeah, what's up?" she nods and turns her body to face him. he sits in the edge of their bed as she sat across from him in her spinning stool.
"first off, i want to apologize for last night. i know i should've gave you a heads up about dinner and coming home late. yes, i did drink and i didn't mean any of what i said. i was drunk and stupid. i'm sorry, mamas." he gave a look filled with guilt and he really didn't mean those things that he told her last night.
"tia... i accept your apology, okay? you just had me worried because you weren't texting or calling me back. and i just had a stressful day overall yesterday." she sighed. "i know, baby. you shouldn't be overworking yourself either. i also took the liberty of organizing all of your meetings and handling the little things for your project. i know you've wanted this for the longest time and i hate to see you so worrisome about the little things, babe. i wanted to help you." he explains which made her heart feel a certain way. only he was able to give her that feeling as crazy as it sounds.
"i really do have the best husband in the world, huh?" she giggles. "and i have the best wife ever. being all sexy and shit." he winks at her which makes her blush.
"come give me a kiss." he adds and she obeys. she gets up from her chair and straddles mattia's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and plays with his hair. she dips her head down, he catches her lips with his own. the kiss was soft and sweet, all of their worries seemed to wash away. almost as if all their problems went away as well... boy were they in for it.
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