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#he could probab tell i was nervous
starlightswitch · 11 months
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Newbie Misunderstanding
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@flashfictionfridayofficial Annnnd another late one because apparently I only get ideas at 11 o'clock or later now.
At the last cast party, the seniors disappeared into the basement and came up with funny awards for everyone in the cast and crew. Usually. This year the last cast party was at Joshua’s house and it didn’t have a basement– just a garage that had two cars and a bunch of outdoors equipment and no room for a conference– so the seniors took over the living room and made everyone else stay in the kitchen. This left the kitchen so packed that, even though it was mid-November and close to freezing outside, people started drifting outside. Someone got the firepit going. Michaela sat in one of the chairs near it, shivered when she felt the cold of the metal through the cushion, and moved up to sit on the wall instead. It was low enough her feet almost touched the ground.
Ren came and sat by her. After a bit of conversation about the play being over and the director being right about post-show depression and they were already looking forward to fall drama and what might the show be? they lapsed into silence.
No one else was staying by the fire for long. Most people seemed to be trading off the crowded indoors for the cold outdoors.
“You want to go in?” Ren asked after a while.
“If I wanted to go in I’d go in.”
“You look… maybe… cold.”
“Well, I’d rather be cold than… crowded in there with everybody.”
“Still.” He slid closer to her, and it was nice that he was warm.
“Thanks,” said Michaela, and then looked up in surprise when Ren grabbed her hand.
“Your hands are cold too,” he said, pressing hers between both of his.
“Always are. Are you cold?” she asked, turning to look at him when she thought she felt him shiver. Their faces were very close.
He hesitated, the firelight flickering over his face. “Nervous, maybe.”
“Hm?”
“I’ve never been this close to you before. Well, when a director hadn’t told me to. I appreciated it when a director told me to.”
There was a pleasant little twist in Michaela’s stomach. She leaned a little closer, and when he didn’t close the distance, she did.
It was a light kiss. Then he smiled and leaned in for another, longer one.
They stopped when the door opened, both quickly looking that way. The silhouette stopped near the house, didn’t come toward the fire, probably because they had seen what was happening there.
“So…” Ren shifted. “How do you feel?”
“How do I feel?”
“Well, um… do you like kissing or do you like me?”
Michaela laughed, but caught herself and made sure it was gentle. “I…” Suddenly she was remembering a lot of times he’d made quiet jokes she’d laughed at, or given her encouraging looks when she got notes she was clearly frustrated with. “I hadn’t really thought about it, but I think I could.”
“Could… like me?”
“Yeah.” She grinned and gave him another light kiss. “I definitely think I could.”
When someone yelled for them to get inside because the seniors had finally risen from their graves and awards were about to start, she got up and said with a lightness that came from knowing that someone liked her back– liked her first– “You sure this isn’t just, you know, the emotions of the show being over and…”
He stood up and kissed her again, and with their faces close he said, “Definitely not.”
And then he didn’t speak to her again.
Okay, maybe he hadn’t copied the cast phone list into his phone like she had, and maybe he hadn’t been able to catch her after awards were over since Joshua’s parents didn’t want people in their house until all hours so that was basically the end of the party. He could have gotten her number from someone else.
She cornered him backstage at strike the next day. “So you didn’t mean it?”
“Mean… what?”
“Did I misunderstand?”
“What?”
“You didn’t text me.”
“I… Did I tell you I would text you?”
“You said you liked me, and it wasn’t just post-show emotions.”
“It wasn’t, and I do like you!”
It was the most frustrated she’d ever heard him, and probably the loudest. Michaela almost looked over her shoulder to see if anyone working on the stage had heard. “So you didn’t text me…?”
He took a deep breath. “I was hoping you would text me. I, um. I don’t really know how this works.”
“How what works?” Michaela noticed too late that still sounded like she was interrogating him. She tried to think of something to assure him…
“How a relationship works.” He ducked his head. “I haven’t really… been in one before.”
“I haven’t either,” Michaela pointed out.
“How is that possible?”
It was even more of a compliment because he said it with such surprise.
She shrugged and said, even surprising herself a little, “Nobody even liked me before.”
He kept looking at her with surprise, and then he reached for her hand. “Do you want to figure out how together? How to be in a relationship?”
She squeezed his hand and grinned. “Definitely.”
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rqnvindr · 2 years
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home
pairing: diluc ragnvindr x f!reader
genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: mentions of violence and death, alcohol consumption 
w.c: 1.8k
synopsis: you haven’t seen diluc since his 18th birthday. many things have changed, but perhaps underneath he’s still the same cheerful, dazzling swordsman you knew as a teenager.
a/n: decided to make this female reader because it’s more self-indulgent! i’ve had this idea for a while and i’m glad i finally got to execute it!
--
you never would’ve imagined a nobleman spending his birthday like this. right in the middle of town, walking hand in hand with an ordinary girl, where everyone can see. 
diluc has that typical smile plastered on his face. the genuine twinkle in his eyes shows that he’s already more than content with his special day and the overall state of his life. climbing up to the upper ranks of the knights with kaeya, making his father proud, and now doing what he’s dreamt of above all else. kissing you.
it’s just a test. you were both young and naive despite being adults. and what better way to dip your toes into a potential relationship than to see if sparks fly from your lips connecting? you can feel the nervousness radiating between you two, from shaky hands to nervous, breathy laughs as your faces hover closer to each other.
everything makes sense once you pull away. seeing diluc happy made you even happier and you wished you could stop time for a bit to savor this moment for longer. but it’s gone all too soon when the clock strikes one hour after noon. he takes your hand and presses a soft kiss to your knuckles, making you giggle.
“i’m sorry, i have to get back to work. allow me to take you out to dinner tomorrow okay?”
“aw, you can’t go a day without seeing me can you?” you teased, and he simply smirked at you.
“a gentleman never steals a kiss from a pretty lady without giving her something in return. i’ll see you tomorrow at good hunter, then.” 
little did you know that he would not be sitting at your reserved table the next night. 
you fell asleep giddy as april ended for the year. the weeks that teased summer were perhaps about to feel like a splash of new romance and warmth, unlike sizzling heat waves that scorched the pavements.
but the adrenaline crashed when the morning came. just like how the world crashed on him when his father died in his arms. you didn’t need diluc to tell you that he couldn’t trust you to be there for him, he already spoke loud and clear when he left mondstadt immediately after quitting the knights. 
you understood where he was coming from, you really did. you told your selfish heart that was still written with your romantic feelings for him that he couldn’t stay here when the place he called home was now starting to turn against him. he had to search for answers on his father’s death to get some closure when the knights had already failed him in that aspect. when even diluc himself failed to protect him. 
why didn’t he at least tell you though? did he suddenly not care about you anymore, as if you were responsible for an incident that was out of your control? you wanted to head over to dawn winery amidst the pouring rain that hadn’t ceased since crepus left this world, bang on the door, and demand that he explain everything to you. you didn’t care how painful it’d be, you would swallow any darkness that threatened to consume him. 
alas, you remained silent and still, with the exception of strangled cries muffled by your hand.
you just wished he had at least said goodbye.
4 YEARS LATER
“it certainly can’t be a coincidence that we run into each other almost every time, at a place like this.” you sigh at the cavalry captain’s words. it was always impossible to tell if kaeya was trying to lighten the mood or if he couldn’t let go of what the tavern meant to him. you realized what he was trying to fulfill by grabbing a drink every other day, all alone at that, unless rosaria or the other avid drinkers of mondstadt joined him. 
“yeah well, you’re probably gonna drink yourself to death before you can ever win me over, alberich.” he roars with laughter in response to your words that should’ve stung. 
kaeya downs another shot of a liquor harder than most people in even alcohol central that was the city of freedom could handle. “aw c’mon, (y/n)! you need to let loose sometimes too, you know. the way you come all the way over here only to have a glass of juice reminds me too much of a certain someone..”
it’s a silly exchange. yet, your eyes sting with tears thinking about how that person he was referring to would’ve gladly joined you in teasing kaeya, and probably would’ve entertained a much longer banter with him than you did. it’s true, you only frequented the tavern for their juice, the only thing that tasted the closest to his lips...
just as you’re finishing your drink, the door chime rings within the walls of the bustling joint. instinctively, you turn, and your jaw dangles open. 
“diluc?!” after a few seconds of awkward tension that grew from the shock, your voice finds its way past your lips again.
“hello, (y/n). i’m glad i was able to run into you here.” he offers a small smile. however, his lips do not curve the same as you remember them and his expression turns dull again too quickly. 
you cautiously walk over to him, making sure that you didn’t get drunk from just juice and he wasn’t a hallucination. you have to stop yourself from reaching out to touch his face, as much as you want to experience his touch again after suppressing your aches ever since he vanished without a trace.
“if you’re done chatting here, i’d like to speak with you alone up at the balcony.” diluc vaguely acknowledges kaeya. although the latter doesn’t seem to have any qualms about this being the first interaction he’s had with his long lost brother, and only family member left after 4 years, a shadow passes over his face as he finishes the bottle before him. you figured they weren’t on good terms since diluc was now bitter about the knights, and kaeya wasn’t exempt from the disdain. you wonder what he’s doing here though, not willing to get your hopes up for any changes other than the ones that he has clearly gone through during his time away.
“sure..” you chew at the inside of your lips, then follow him up the staircase in the corner. the last time you had seen diluc, he was wearing his knight’s outfit. he had a black coat back then too, but this one was longer, you noticed as you walked behind him. it was like more and more of him was concealed from your view, covered by a wall that he had built in order to protect himself. but from what? you wondered.
the city stares back at the two of you as you stand on the balcony of angel’s share. surprisingly, diluc is the one to break the silence first. 
“i wasn’t sure if you would want to see me. but i thank you for giving me a chance.” he crosses his arms as he stares with piercing red eyes out into the distance.
“where have you even been all of these years?? and why did i have to find out through acting grand master jean about your father’s death-”
“i’m sorry.” you’ve known him for too long and can hear his voice shake, despite how subtle it is. “i won’t apologize for leaving the knights, especially for how they tried to cover up my father’s death. but i couldn’t tell you what i was about to do, you would’ve stopped me for sure.”
you peer suspiciously at him, wary of his ominous tone. “what did you do?” 
“i left mondstadt, as you know. i travelled all throughout teyvat during the time i was away, until i found out about a certain snezhnayan military organization known as the fatui, whose weapons of war are responsible for the death of my father, along with countless others,” diluc clenches his fists. “they will pay for the innocent lives they took. i swear it.”
you wait for the right moment to speak, making sure you’ve clearly listened to everything he has just told you. 
“so what are you going to do now? hunt them down yourself?” you ask.
“whatever i need to do to deliver the consequences to our foes, i don’t want to drag you into it. especially after you’ve spent all this time waiting for me, i can’t hurt you anymore.” diluc turns to you and tenderly cups your face with his gloved hand. this is too good to be true. even though his warm touch has you leaning into him as close as you can be, you’re ready to wake up from whatever dream your brain was playing at the given moment. you close your eyes, ready to snap them open and behold the sight of your bedroom, the blazing sun creeping in from your window snapping you back to reality. the reality without him.
“(y/n)?” he calls your name, and it sounds exactly like how he said it as a pining teenager. “i understand this is already a lot to take in. please bear with me for a few more moments,” he inhales sharply. “back in snezhnaya, as i was hunting for the fatui, i almost died. they caught me infiltrating their secrets and hunted me down. my whole life should’ve been flashing before my eyes, but as i took what i thought would be my last few breaths, all i could think of was you. particularly....our first kiss. the only good memory i have of that day...” 
your lips part, trying not to let out a loud gasp that ultimately gets trapped in your throat. you were already willing to accept him, from the emptiness, to the parts of him that hadn’t quite left. and if he remembered what was just as important to you, on the brink of death, you were ready to reenact all of your firsts with him, right here and now.
actions speak better than words. but diluc, ever the gentleman, still asks:
“can i kiss you?”
you nod, connecting your lips with his. the first time you intertwined lovingly like this was almost like a practice round, back when you felt like you were in love but were still unsure. your mouths now move against each other more steadily with increased passion and communication, telling him that you’ve missed him and you’re glad he’s safe, as he reciprocates the yearning and forwards an apology.
when you part for air, diluc rests his forehead against yours, his breathing synced with yours. you chuckle softly as you brush his bangs off of his forehead.
“at first, i was mad at you for not saying goodbye. but, you’re home now, and such a seal isn’t even needed now that our paths have crossed once more.”
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forbidding-souda · 2 years
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Rarepair hours! May I have general dating hcs for Rantaro x Nagito? (yep, i ship a literally nonexisting pairing what have no reasons to be legit, but hooo boy, i love it so much)
Rantarou Amami x Nagito Komaeda relationship headcanons
i added 4 nsfw hearts at the end because i had some ideas that were stuck in my head while writing this entire thing and I needed to share them.
currently listening: sadistic embodiment by cannibal corpse
album: a skeletal domain
-Mod Souda
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❤ Komaeda was immediately interested in how mysterious this man is, so his usual easy-going front he puts on lasts a lot longer than it would have. He is trying to maintain that 'likable' personality for him. If this man doesn't end up liking him then he doesn't know what he'd do.
❤ ^ Which is very funny because Rantarou could tell that he was a little off from the start and it's not that it mattered to him anyway.
❤ Anyway yes Rantarou is extremely patient with him and takes like none of the rash things he says seriously. It's extremely funny to witness Komaeda going on about destroying those who testify against hope and Rantarou laughing it off and patting his head.
❤ They both use the -kun honorific for each other just consistently and always.
❤ Their intelligence is mostly on the same level in the sense that Rantarou will vaguely reference something and Komaeda will immediately pick up what he's metaphorically putting down and understand exactly what he's referring to. <- This often leads the third party in the conversation to be utterly confused. The two of them almost never speak in full thoughts together.
❤ Rantarou is the shorter one so he'd have to tilt his head up to give him kisses - only by a bit but still (especially with those heeled shoes Komaeda wears).
❤ Even though he's shorter he'd probably still be able to give him piggy back rides let's be real.
❤ Paints his nails, too. Oh my god.
❤ Omg personal nail technician alert. Personal stylist, too. Rantarou is definitely fixing up that man's wardrobe.
❤ Komaeda doesn't let him bring him on any adventures since he gets very worried that his luck is going to mess things up somehow. If something seems dangerous then he will make sure they are nowhere near each other (realistically, not that it would matter when in the scenario of the universe truly intending on doing something but).
❤ I think Komaeda would be too nervous to initiate affection, especially since his boyfriend is a very casually formal person, making him worry that affection would offend him even in the privacy of their own home. Rantarou is always the one that initiates it - grabbing his hands and twirling him before dipping him, adding a kiss.
❤ Outside of that ^ neither of them could tell if the other was interested, since Komaeda was sweating thinking if somebody as perfect as him could be interested in him, and Rantarou is so put off by the thought of flirting that he was sweating just considering the fact that Komaeda could have been flirting.
❤ ^ Which is also why Komaeda is scared to initiate things, because he knows how much Rantarou is uncomfortable with romance like that.
❤ Casually, Rantarou would find the most pleasure kissing him on the forehead or the neck.
❤ Rantarou is the one that makes breakfast, forces Komaeda to brush his teeth, puts the shoes by the front door neatly, cleans the house, and makes sure the fridge is packed.
❤ ^ He will even sometimes bathe Komaeda in a very non sexual way if he finds it necessary. Though it's a little embarrassing, Komaeda thinks it's extremely fun to be "looked down upon" like that.
❤ If Rantarou is in a shitty mood he will just outright say "I don't feel like talking", to which Komaeda patiently sits near him like (✿◠‿◠) until he feels okay.
❤ Rantarou's sense of wanting to win vs. Komaeda's self sacrificial need to see 'hope succeed' would be a good match in a life or death.
❤ Anyway Rantarou making flower crowns to put in that man's hair ooo so cute.
❤ ^ His sisters probably taught him how to make them.
- NSFW
❤ Komaeda's legs always shake with anticipation whenever Rantarou gets on top of him. That man's broad body, always so concealed, just excites the living shit out of him.
❤ ^ Rantarou can literally feel with his own hands the way his body heats up at the sight of him.
❤ If Rantarou is not in the mood to act anything out, he will let Komaeda grind against his leg to weakly stimulate himself.
❤ ^ His hands around his neck while he sits on his lap, facing away from him.
❤ That's all.
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sketcheydyslexic · 3 years
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Here’s another one ;)
So who is and isn’t open to having kids? And what are the reasons for the dudes who don’t want them?
I finally got round to this one, Yay! Thanks for the prompt! (I told you guys I would post writing again eventually!)
The skelebae’s Opinions on having kids! (all of the guys I write for, i think i got them all anyway)
Split for space convenience. and Built with emojis in my bf scenario format- Bc I feel like it today.
—classic—
🦴classic sans💙- He wouldn't at first, but the more he is in deep with you, the more He wants kids-- at a later point in your relationship, Years probably. He wants to be able to take care of himself decently first, he is still adjusting to taking care of you too. He would be very happy settling down and having a family with you once he was sure there weren't going to be any more interruptions or repeats of his life. He would be a very good dad, he can joke around and make situations comfortable for most, but he can also be serious and settle them of his kid hot a little rowdy- I mean look how well pap turned out.
📙classic pap🍝- Yes, he wants them! Again, this would come at a later point, after you both were at the point of Your Life that all the stress and hecticness was calmed down, he wants to make sure you both have a stable foundation for you both to start a family with. He wants to be a dad- You, him, and your little ones? Absolutely! But he would bet nervous wreck with the idea, constantly buzzing about worrying about if he would be a good dad or not, if you would be okay, if you have everything you need first.
—fell—
🍫red😒- Red is on the fence. He isn't good with kids, but he wants a family with you. He just isn't sure. His heart screams that he wants to settle and build a loving family with you, but his logic backhands his wants, reminding him that children were a long-term task, that would put a lot of stress and happiness into your life. He hasn't been able to get along with kids, not like he's tried much though. Really, it will take a while to get his emotional constipation and trauma from his previous lifestyle underground to heal so he can function somewhat normally. He would be a really good dad though, a little firey at times but he would worry constantly, make sure you are all safe, always be there to help. So he wouldn't necessarily try and make family plans like this for every long time, but if it would just happen, he would be the furthest from upset about it, filled with anxiety? Yes. But never upset
😒edge🧂- Not at first. He just wouldn't have the time or the stability for his morals to allow himself to want kids. He knows they wouldn't grow up happily or in good conditions. If he could ever settle properly, with his past self, and his mental issues, he would be alright with it. He wouldn't bring it up, but if you did he would agree with your want for a stable family. It's a solid no if there isn't a good amount of stability in your lives, there has to be a good relationship between him and you, him and his brother, money-wise, food-wise, work-wise, and home-wise. He couldn't forgive himself if he allowed himself to greedily chase a family to fill the void of his need for family stability if you weren't ready or your guy's child wouldn't be safe. He would provide his family with everything he has to offer, what they want and needs.
— swap—
🌮Blue💕- Yes, enthusiastically so. It would be a thought that popped into his head when he watched you with heart eyes, wondering about your future together. But the idea would come to him at a point where he thinks it way too early to think about it, so he will push it into the backlogs. He thinks about it more often than he would like to admit, so after a while, he is able to ignore it completely. He would almost slip up and out his thoughts about going steady, steady. He wants to do it after he tries the man tradition of marrying you- if you wanted to marry. He is adamant you both take the proper steps of going through a relationship, so you both are comfortable, and no issues arise. Everything would be ready before you guys started trying.
🍭Stretch😪- Yes, no, but also maybe. At this point in his life, kids terrify him, doesn't want them, he doesn't think he would be a good parent but knows he would be, and also craves to give you both that part of your life, when your both to that point in your relationship. He would want to try, then his intent wouldn't be there for it, because he is convicted. Then when he wouldn't want to try at the moment for kids, his intent would haunt him for months, wanting to have a mini you and him running around your home. He would have to talk to blue or his therapist many times before bringing it up with you. On the chance it happens on accident, he would be happy while having a panic attack. He would quickly recover to start preparing everything though.
—purple swapfell and red swapfell-
💜milord🎖️-
No! He doesn't know anything about how this could affect him or your life. People, who fight against monster rights? People, who fight against your relationship? A cross-racial child would suffer at this point in the world. He tried to raise his brother in a suffering world, he doesn't want to put his child through that. He craves a family, he is just being a worry-wart again.
🚬mutt♣️-
he would want them but feel shifty around the idea, i mean, he is a convict of sorts- he doesn't want that to lead onto his kid. chances are you yourself could get into a tight spot with the law if you were found out by the wrong people. so for now until he is in the clear, he will reel back from his desires. he tries to blame them on instinct, just to make himself feel better.
—red swapfell-
🥄rus☕️-
yes! he wants nothing more than to have a family, that's all he’s ever wanted. he won't ask or bring it up first though- he will be terrified you will think he is pushing or moving too fast, get cold feet, and leave. your all he needs and all he wants, so he wouldn't care if you didn't want kids. he is, and forever will be- over the moon that you gave him the chance, and love him.
🗡wine/sir🍷-
he's never thought about having a family beyond taking care of his brother. now that you've been introduced into his family, he needed to put his goals on the correct path for himself and you guys. having kids hasn't even been a thought, but when the image of you, he, and your little ones fill his mind- he will have a craving so large he couldn't help but blurt it out before he was fully ready to have that talk with you. - he knows that humans feel a little differently about having children than monsters typically do, so he will have already taken that into consideration before he blurts out his desires. really, he takes your input most to heart when it comes to what direction the sail on your family is set too. so if you shut down the idea, he won't be too harmed. he will still have the occasional thought or desire for offspring, but nothing that would keep him up at night.
-purple swapfell—
🍇raspberry/berry/blackberry👢-
yes. he wants them. end of the question. once he's found himself a Y/n- he is set. he will talk to you about his want to eventually have a family, and he will take your input and feelings on the subject to heart. he knows it a bit early to start trying for kids, but he NEEDED to get that conversation out of his conscious before it ate his mind. he would wait till the end of time if you so needed, before you were ready for a family. for now though- he is very happy whenever you babysit. or when you mother-hen.
⛓Mongrel/mutt/rus🐕-
he is very iffy. his life is devoted to his brother, and now you. he would do anything in the world for you. so if you wanted them, he sure as hell would take the role as a father for you. but of course, you don't just use his devotion like that- he wouldn't be devoted to you in such a mindless-seeming way. so you want to know how he FEELS about it himself. he would have to explain that he’s never thought about it. once he does, he will feel insecure- would he be one of those pushover dads? would he be a horrible father and never be able to provide his child with the love they need? insecurities and worries would flood into his very soul. it will take a while, and a lot of reassurance- proof-wise and verbally. after he comes to terms with himself- he actually would kinda like the idea of solidifying a family with you, imagining your kids, trying out different matchups of yours and his features. — but if you didn't want them, he wouldn't even put another thought into it. he would continue not caring.
-dreamtale-
🌙Nightmare👑- ehhhhhhhhhh- again- he was under the impression he wouldn't have anyone close to him like you. he can clearly remember when he was younger, he would have fantasies of a beautiful mate, who would love him as his is. he can also remember the restless nights when he would stare into the stars, thinking of a life were his mate would raise children with him, building a loving family, having a loving mate, people who wouldn't mistreat him, people who would love him unconditionally. oh, stars how bad he still wanted that, and how he was more than lucky to have gotten you. he wouldn't allow himself to wish for anything more, he has his divine sent mate, and that's more he would ever need or ask for.
but... if you bring it up- or if he could somehow find it in you before you tell him. he would be more than willing.
💫Dream☁️-
er. he hasn't thoroughly thought about i. he's always thought about kids, but will his job as a guardian? and if he didn't already find peace with his brother? it was a risk-taking on his relationship with you- so he wouldn't want them at first. you would tempt him so, though. he would have countless thoughts of guiding and protecting your children's dreams, sending them to school with a smile after they dreamt of their favorite things- but he couldn't. he would shove toughs thoughts and feeling wayyyyyy down deep. of course- nightmare would probably pick up on it, due to the negative reaction dream has been giving to the subject. in a domesticated life- he would have wed and had already made family plans with you. but- for now, he can't have that domestic life yet.
—Horrortale—
🔪Axe🍩-
kinda, maybe, yes. he would have dreamt of it log before the trauma he and his kind endured. but after he has his injury, he would have to say no- he doesn't know if he could keep up with any form of children with the underground being so famished- he doesn't think he would be able to supply his mate with enough to keep them alive. BUT. he isn't underground, his mate and his brother are not at risk of dusting, he has access to enough food that he could feed armies and armies of growing children. he would start to have that daydream again, but this time, he wouldn't be just normal old sans. he would be present-day sans- Axe. he would have to run through a long list of things, including your feelings , your health, his brother, himself, the home, security of your family, food, and available money. if he is going to have kids added to his family, he wants them to have what they need, and never do without. he really does want them, but what family he has already comes first before he brings any new ones.
🔪Butch🥺- yes, he wants kids, he's just never thought about it. it will probably be a long time before he ever starts to realize it himself how much he wants to be a dad. it would probably be best to save that conversation for later though, forcing him to think about it before he realizes it himself would lead to a very irritatingly tedious side quest. he might not even realize it for a long time, or ever. so you might have to take that long tedious side quest, if you want to get the ball rolling on that one.
—outcodes—
🔪killer⚰️-
it took him a long ass time to realize he wanted to be WITH you, not KILL you. so the idea of actually having kids, not just ‘making’ them, freaks him out quite a bit. you would never forgive him if he lost his grip and diced your guy’s kid up before it could even soul-link to him. he doesn't trust himself, and if he is being brutally honest, he doesn't know how you do either. so his plans for actually planning a family with you a close to nothing- he’s sure he doesn't even house the intent to impregnate you, so he doesn't worry about it all that much. if in the case, you adopted or conceived without him meaning or knowing about it- he would do more than flip, he would be reached to his very soul with straight anxiety. when he meets his kid, will he go right for the soul, or would he tear them to shreds right in front of his mate? would he be able to stay calm? could he convince someone to restain him fully before meeting them? no- then his child would soul link to the one restricting him... ultimately, he wouldn't actually have the urge to kill his biological child. an adopted child would be a wild card, it really depends on if the child is young enough to soul-link to him and you, or if he can tell there is something bad about the kid.
🔫dust🔪-
hell no. he WANTS kids, yeah. but he’ll be damned if he actually has any anytime soon. he killed his own brother and is still haunted by that for fucks sake. he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he dusted his child, in front of you or otherwise. his hallucination of his brother would probably drive him even more down the rabbit hole- destroying all the progress he had made in healing- if he had a kid with you. the hallucination would spill nasty, unrelenting truths into the side of his skull- screetching in such a soft voice, that he is a horrible father, hoe he isn't doing anything right how everything he completes and feels good about, is actually horribly done and he is just using your attachment to his offspring as a way to manipulate you into further ‘loving’ him. he would snap- no. he would shatter. his soul couldn't take it. BUT if you would help him still, making sure to heal his mind with your honest intent, filling him with your own feeling for him- the trust, the love, the care, the worry, the adoration for him and both of your child... he would be okay. he could silence the hallucination- accept that it's not real, even. he would be, as much as he hates the word, determined, to be the best father and mate for your and his family.
🪓horror🩸-
yes, he craves it so much it would fill up to his eye sockets and leak out his nose. he wouldn't dare though. not until his family he already has is safe and secured. sure nightmares mansion is like a safe haven for his family- but right now with his duty to nightmare as it is? What would happen to you, and your child if he weren't to return? what if he really lost himself after another blow to the head? you would be alone, with a child to raise. would nightmare and the others still care for you the same if he wasn't there to really prove the point of protection? they wouldn't harm you, or kick you out? would they? no... how could they do that. he knows that the guys all adore you, in their own respective ways. would one of them even attempt to court you and take his former place as your mate, if he were to dust- having had his child, or not? chances are yes, yes they would. it irked him to no end, the last thought of him having a better replacement, but he would want that, one of them to be there and care for you as he would have. he would have to think about it, but in the case his intent slipped up a little too soon, he wouldn't be mad. he ould be so very happy.
❌Error🚫- this one is very very difficult. he would screech and restart at the question, slamming repetitive ‘no’s’ into the void around your conversation- or when his mind brought it up against itself. he had such a difficult time, being okay with just a handshake (with a thick leather glove on, mind you). he blames his heats, and instincts on wanting children, but in all reality, he just wants to build a trusting and loving family- one that wouldn't hurt him, the moment he turned slightly the other way. he would be the furthest thing from mad, if it ‘just happened’. if it was an adopted or surrogate child, that was soul linked to anyone but you and him, or too old to be soul linked, it would be a solid no. the child had to be soul-linked to you and him, and you and him only. otherwise, he wouldn't be able to care for it the same. it would take a very long time for him to warm up to the child, so you would be a single parent, essentially- but with error’s sideline support. he really wishes he wouldn't be like he is, if it's that case, because he really wants to be there and be a real parent to the child, he wants so badly to be the other loving parent to the child, but he cants no matter how hard he tries. if it is soul-linked to him and you only, he would be the world's number-one try-hard dad. he would protect you and your child with everything he has.
🎨ink🖌- er. its the same way with fresh- can someone without a soul, have a soulmate? because he knows you are his soulmate, you know you are his soulmate. he actually didn't know he could have biological children, considering intent and soul stuff that goes into having children with his kind. the conversation would be more of a lesson and hypotheticals than family planning. he honestly believed he couldn't, so he never really wrangled his intent, when it comes to expressing how he feels with you, its always been that way for his soulmate- you wouldneve have to guess on his feelings, or get his words confused, if you can feel everything and know its honest. the problem with that is that, if you let the intent to have a family with him slip at the wrong time, you would sooner find out that he can, in fact, sire a child. but that's only if you return the intent at the right time. family planning will likely have to take the most place, after a child is conceived. adopting a child wouldn't be the best, considering if it wasn't made biologically, the soul-link would fall flat with him, and he wouldn't ever have real feelings for the child, other than the ones he can feel through you- his soulmate. if the child isn't biologically yours, but not his, he likely wouldn't be able to feel anything other than that a completely non-biological is present in your life, and means a lot to you.
🛹Fresh😈- again, not sure if he could. he doesn't know if he wants them or not either. the whole infected soul having a soulmate deal was a pretty big thing for him to wrap his thoughts around. he would be worried about the child's soul, and heath. but in all he wouldn't be opposed to having a child with you. he doesn't crave it instinctually like most of his skeleton counterparts, so he won't go out of his way to convince you if you don't want them. he is more than content with the whole, feeling things and regained humanity that came with finding a soulmate, and soul-bonding with them.
❌Cross✖️-
he probably has the most humanity out of all the outcodes, or at least- a good idea of it. he will get the appeal of family, and struggle with controlling how his intent plays out, the moster instincts will be a lot more difficult for him to control the way the rest of the guys can, but he does a pretty good job with it all. he will be okay with being a parent, knowing he would be at least halfway decent (that doesn't stop his self-doubt though). if you want them, he would be happy. if you aren't ready yet or have concerns, he would get it, and still be happy. if you don't want them, no sweat with him, he would still be happy just having you. he has a lot on his plate currently, working for nightmare and all- but he still runs on the premise his instincts call for with his mate comes first. he really couldn't help that one if he tried. it's all good to him tough. you are his safe place, and anything with you makes it very hard for him to be upset over or with.
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taylorfiction · 5 years
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Day 2: Meeting each others family’s (Meeting one’s or both)
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ I asked her slowly as we drove towards my parent’s house, Taylor in the passenger seat beside me, my hand resting on her leg and the other on the steering wheel.
I looked towards her as I asked this and she met my eyes and nodded vigorously but with a weak smile on her face. She was nervous. ‘It’s gonna be fine, they’re gonna love you, I promise’ she smiled but her eyes said something else and I rubbed her thigh in reassurance and to try and calm her down.
We pulled up outside the house and I parked the car before turning to her and smiling.
‘Do you do drugs?’ I asked and she frowned, clearly confused, and shook her head.
‘Do you smoke?’ Once again, she shook her head in response, still with a confused frown on her face.
‘Are you a bad influence?’ She paused for a second at this one.
‘I mean probab-‘ she started but I cut her off before she could finish, hitting her leg playfully and responding no you’re not, shut up before she asked, ‘What’s the point of this again?’
‘My parents are gonna love you if I’m happy and if you’re not bad for me. And you’re not so. End of. Stop worrying,’ I finished before opening my car door and rushing round to open hers for her.
‘Madame,’ I offered my hand to her as she got out the car, shutting the door behind her, she took it and lead me to the front door before looking at me, clearly waiting for me to knock.
I squeezed her hand and offered another reassuring smile before pressing my knuckles to the door, knocking twice. As soon as my fist left the wood the door opened and my mother’s familiar smiley face greeted me, pulling me into a hug almost as fast as she had opened the door.
‘Mum, this is Taylor,’ I said as I pulled away from her tight embrace.
‘It’s lovely to meet you dear,’ My mum said to the girl standing next to me, who leaned down slightly to meet my mum’s open arms, letting go of my hand in the process.
‘And you’ Taylor smiled sweetly and stepped in after my mother who was ushering us both in muttering something about it being too cold and that only food could warm us up.
We stood and took our shoes and coats off before following my mother into the kitchen, a small exchange of whether Taylor was doing okay in the process. Her nodding head was interrupted by my Dad who had been sat in the kitchen watching the food cook, clearly willing it to cook faster.
‘Ahh Joe,’ he smiled at me and brought me in a for a hug with a slap on the back which almost took the wind out of me.
‘And you must be Taylor,’ he stepped past me towards her and embraced her gentler than he had I, her smile grew larger as my dad started rambling about how much he’d heard about her and I couldn’t help that my cheeks where growing redder by the second.
‘Joe go and get Patrick, he probably has his headphones on,’ My mother ordered me and I gave another smile to Taylor as I wandered out of the kitchen, ran up the stairs and burst into my brother’s room.
‘Get your ass downstairs, dinner’s ready and I want you to meet someone,’ Patrick grunted in response and I took that as an okay. As I made my way downstairs, I heard laughing from the kitchen, I bet they were already telling her childhood stories. She didn’t need any more ammo.
‘-We heard this horrible crack and it was his brother’s arm breaking,’ My dad laughed as I entered the room and I the 3 pairs of eyes landed on me, Taylor’s eyebrows abnormally raised.
‘What did you tell her?’ I asked with a warning tone in my voice before I walked toward her, looping my arm around her waist as I stood next to her.
‘We were just telling Taylor about the time you broke Patrick’s arm,’ My dad laughed as he saw me rub my hand over my face, I was always trying to block that memory out.
At that, Patrick entered the room and I could see Taylor’s eyes flick back and forth between us, the differences between us where so few it was hard to tell us apart if you didn’t know us. ‘Hi,’ he waved at Taylor and she waved back
‘I’m Taylor,’ she smiled at him, ‘It’s Patrick, right? the one whose arm was broken by this doofus?’ she pointed to me and I shook my head at both of them
Patrick laughed a bit at that before deciding it would be a good idea to show Taylor the scar. Oh God.
When they were finished chatting about how much of a terrible brother I am we all crowded round the table, sifting into different seats, the chatter never stopping.
I was happy. I was so unbelievably happy. I could tell that they liked her and I could tell that she liked them. They hadn’t stop chatting since she had gotten here and it made my heart burst that four out of five, the fifth being Tom, all loved each other’s company and got along so well.
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worryinglyinnocent · 6 years
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Fic: The Darkness Within (22/?)
Apologies for any formatting weirdness. Glitchy Tumblr. If you click the read more, it will fix the formatting.
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Summary: When washed-up paranormal investigator Rum Gold meets Belle French, he does not quite know what to make of her claim of a supernatural presence in her life, but sensing her genuine fear, he begins to investigate. What he uncovers shakes the cynicism he has so long held to its very core, and he calls in the help of disgraced ex-priest Father Macavoy to help him lay some demons to rest…
A slow burn, eventual rumbellavoy. The rating may increase in later chapters.
Rated: T
[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen] [Fourteen] [Fifteen] [Sixteen] [Seventeen] [Eighteen] [Nineteen] [Twenty] [Twenty-One] [AO3]
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Twenty-Two
Ella was awake, and she wasn’t quite sure why. She could tell that something wasn’t quite right, and she didn’t know what it was, but it was making her feel distinctly uneasy. Perhaps it was the fact that it was the middle of the night and all the strange things that she’d seen and thought about throughout the day time were now creeping up on her and making her nervous when she’d not given them a second thought whilst it was light. Darkness was funny like that, twisting and warping everything that had been benign in the daylight into something that was a cause for concern.
Gold had not told her the full story of precisely what was going on between him and Belle and how Belle’s problems were connected with his own family tree, but from what he had told her and from what she had gathered from Belle, it was a deep and delicate connection. Whatever affliction Belle was suffering under - they would call it sleepwalking for ease of understanding although Ella knew that it was more than that - had affected her for her entire life and she was desperate to be free of it. Desperate enough to go to Gold, of all people.
Perhaps that was what was making her uneasy. Belle was definitely desperate. Desperation in and of itself was not worrying, and Ella had met more than enough desperate people seeking reassurance in the supernatural during her secondary career. At the same time though, the fact that Gold had been the one to approach her was strange.
She’d joked about it at the time, laughing about how desperate they must be if they were coming to her rather than using any of Gold’s tried and tested scientific methods, coming back to things that he had always privately scorned instead. But that desperation was genuine, and if Gold had resorted to coming to Ella, then what on earth were they dealing with that was beyond the scope of his knowledge?
She shook herself, getting out of bed and determining to make sure that everything was all right in the house. She knew that she would never get to sleep unless she checked, so she grabbed her robe and padded out onto the landing.
She almost jumped out of her skin when she saw the pale figure standing there, before realising that it was Belle and calming down with a sigh of relief. She was standing outside the door to Gold’s room, and Ella just smiled to herself. Maybe she had misjudged the relationship between them and they were further along in it than she’d thought.
She was about to go back into her own room, assured that nothing strange was going on, when she realised that Belle wasn’t moving. She was just standing there, her hand on Gold’s door handle, as still as a statue.
Sleepwalking, Ella thought. She’d never dealt with anyone who sleepwalked before. Were you supposed to leave them be or wake them up? She really didn’t want to leave Belle standing out there on the landing all night, she’d freeze.
Cautiously, she took a few steps down the landing. Belle didn’t seem to be responding to her presence, and Ella had to wonder. Whatever it was that connected her and Gold had been tracking him down throughout the country, to the extent of reaching his garden. Now she was only separated from him by an unlocked door, and yet she wasn’t going through it.
“Belle?” Ella whispered. “Belle, can you hear me?”
There was no response, and Ella came closer, until she could reach out and touch Belle’s shoulder. She was cold to the touch, but she still didn’t react.
“Belle?”
Cautiously, Ella shook her a little, but there was still no reaction. Ella’s brow furrowed; she wondered if perhaps she could get Belle back down the landing to her own room and no-one would be any the wiser.
“Belle, are you awake? Are you in there?”
Ella thought of the cards that she had drawn, of the Devil in Belle’s past that had plagued her since long before she was born. She thought of what Gold had told her, and the links to Malcolm and the missing piece of his soul. She thought of the faint extra life line on Belle’s palm, and she shivered. What was going on here was something far out of Ella’s remit, something that she had never encountered before.
Belle shivered then, taking in a deep, long breath, as if she had not been breathing before. Ella was fairly certain that she had been, otherwise she’d have lost consciousness, but all the same, that big gulp of air was not exactly encouraging considering the state that she was in. She turned to Ella, blinking, complete and utter confusion evident in her face.
“What happened?” she asked. “Where am I?”
She glanced around her surroundings as she came back to herself, and realisation seemed to dawn.
“I think that maybe you’d better go back to bed,” Ella said gently, but Belle shook her head.
“No. No, I need to stay awake now. If it can get this close, then it’s not safe for me to be off my guard.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“I don’t think it was you. I just got a funny feeling.”
“Yeah.” Belle smiled grimly. “That was probably me.”
Ella made the executive decision that a night cap was definitely in order, all convention be damned.
“Come on,” she said. “I think you could do with a drink. And if you couldn’t, then I definitely could, and if you want to stay awake then I can think of no better way than by imbibing copious amounts of coffee. I’ll have whisky and you’ll have coffee and we can forget that this strange little conversation on the landing ever happened. With any luck Gold’s still blissfully unaware in the land of nod and won’t be joining us and drinking all the booze.”
In spite of being so obviously shaken, Belle gave a soft laugh and followed Ella down the stairs into the kitchen, gratefully accepting the blanket that the other woman fished out for her.
“Can you not remember what happens at all when you drift like that?” Ella asked as she made the coffee.
“No, it’s always just a blackout. I’ve had a little success with hypnotherapy for recovering some of the memories, but then I just blackout whilst under hypnosis as well. I don’t know what’s going on. Rum’s seen me in those induced blackouts, he probably knows more about what’s happening than I do. I just… This is different, this time. I’ve always wandered towards him, but this is the closest I’ve ever got, and it makes me wonder why I stopped short. Is it because the goal is different? Maybe it doesn’t want to get to him after all. Or is it something that I’m doing subconsciously to try and control this thing because I know what’s at stake now and I don’t want Rum to get hurt.”
Ella brought two mugs over and offered Belle a slug of whisky in hers; she declined.
“Do you know what it is?” she asked.
“No. I just know that it’s sharing my mind and it’s connected with Rum in some way. We’re trying to find out exactly what it might be. Joseph and Rum think I’m possessed. After seeing the Devil in my past this evening, I can’t say I entirely disagree. I don’t really know anything about it; it’s not like it tells me things. A couple of times I’ve woken up with vague impressions, but that’s it. That’s why it’s strange that it’s come so close to its goal today and pulled up short. If I am fighting it subconsciously, then that gives me the hope that I can fight it consciously as well, but the whole thing about the subconscious is that you don’t know you’re doing it. How on earth am I meant to work out if I’m fighting this thing if I can’t remember what I’m doing to it?”
“I’m sure you’ll get there in the end,” Ella assured her, although she didn’t feel all that reassuring at that moment in time, having witnessed Belle’s strange blackout first hand. Still, one of them had to be optimistic and she didn’t think that Gold would take too kindly to her being a morbid doom-monger when he had ostensibly brought Belle down here to have a good time.
“Yeah.”
They fell into silence for a while, not uncomfortable but certainly heavy and brooding, both of them mulling over the events of the night.
“Ella,” Belle began presently, “when you found me outside Rum’s door, did I look… normal?”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“Did I look… I don’t know… Did I look possessed?”
Ella raised an eyebrow. “I’m not entirely familiar with what possessed people look like, but you looked pretty normal from where I was standing. I didn’t get a close look at your face, but your profile seemed normal. A bit blank, but normal.”
“Right.” Belle’s brow was still furrowed, and it made Ella slightly nervous.
“Shouldn’t you have been?”
“No. Yes. No, I don’t know. I’ve never really been in a position whereby people have seen me while I’ve been absent. Sheriff Humbert found me in the road and he said that there was something strange about me, it made him uneasy.”
“I was slightly unnerved by just how still and unresponsive you were, but you didn’t look strange,” Ella said.
“Right. My dad’s the only other one who’s seen me whilst I’ve been absent and he wouldn’t talk about it. Whatever he saw really shook him, more than the sheriff I think. So it just makes me wonder what was different this time round.”
Ella gave a snort of laughter. “Maybe I just have a stronger constitution than the both of them.”
“That’s probably it.” Belle raised her mug and chinked it against Ella’s. “Here’s to women, far less easily scared than the menfolk.”
They were both chilled into silence by the sound of a door opening upstairs and footsteps coming closer. It was Rum, it had to be. There was no other person it could be and there was no other explanation, so Ella didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. After everything that had happened already that night though, she thought that she could be forgiven a little unease.
“We must have woken him up after all,” Belle said, but her voice was weak and there wasn’t much humour in it. “Maybe he smelled the coffee.”
“More likely the whisky.” Ella snorted.
The kitchen door opened and Rum entered, stopping short when he saw that the room was already occupied.
“Oh.”
Ella and Belle looked at each other.
“Well, I think that rules out us waking him up,” Ella said. “Are you all right there, Rum? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I have,” he muttered, coming over and sitting down with them, grabbing the whisky bottle as he went past. Ella swung around in her seat to face him.
“What’s going on, Rum?” she asked. “Not that I don’t enjoy drinking till three in the morning with you, but it usually involves a lot more laughter and a lot less of everyone seeing ghosts.”
Gold poured himself a measure and took a sip.
“I saw something tonight that I haven’t seen in a very long time,” he said. “Something that I had almost convinced myself had been a figment of my imagination. I’m trying very hard to re-convince myself that it’s all a figment of my imagination.” He paused. “What’s going on with you too? Should I be worried that you appear to be conspiring in the middle of the night?”
There was no humour behind it; none of them were in the right frame of mind and all attempts at lightening the mood fell flat.
“I blacked out and wandered,” Belle said eventually. “Ella found me on the landing.”
Gold was silent for a long time, staring into the depths of the whisky bottle and pointedly not looking at either of the ladies.
“I think we can finally rule out any chance that your and my supernatural experiences are unrelated,” he said eventually. “Belle, you remember what I told you about the shadows I saw when I was younger, just after I’d come to America?”
Belle nodded. “Their appearance and disappearance coincided with your father leaving and his death. Do you think… Are they connected to me as well?”
Gold inhaled sharply.
“I saw the shadow outside the window tonight,” he said. “It was the first time in almost fifty years that I’ve seen it. I don’t know what to make of it; it’s not like I’ve been seeing it ever since you arrived in town and came into my life, so it can’t be that obvious a connection. But the fact you wandered tonight, and that fact I’ve seen it again, well, it does make me wonder.”
“Do you think it might be protecting you?” Ella suggested. “Belle was outside your door, but she didn’t go through it. Might the shadow be preventing her coming any closer?”
Gold shrugged.
“It’s possible.”
“But you don’t think it’s likely,” Ella finished for him.
“Well, it still gave me the same fear that it did when I was seven,” Gold admitted. “There’s something about it that doesn’t exactly give an impression of benevolence.”
The three of them fell into silence again, unnerved by the events of the night but nonetheless reassured by the presence of the others. Safety in numbers, Ella supposed. None of them could understand what was going on; they could only hope that together, the three of them and Joseph would be able to find a solution, and fast.
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imagines-supplier · 7 years
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Stood Up
Luke: *Sobbing* How could he not show up? I rarely cry but I just had so much emotions bottled up. I was at the park waiting for the most popular guy in school to show up for a date we were supposed to have. Of course, I should’ve known that it was just a joke for the populars. I sat on on the swings, trying to hold back tears but failed. I checked my phone and it was 7:23 pm. I sighed heavily and continued to silently cry.
I was too zoned out to notice the cute blonde that came to check on me.“Hello? Ma'am, what’s wrong?” He was a gentleman. I slightly smiled, as did he. “I’m Luke, you are?” “I’m Y/N.” I made a genuine smile for him. “What’s wrong, beautiful?” I was hesitant to tell him at first but decided to just let everything out, even the things that didn’t really matter.
Luke just payed attention to me and rubbed circles on my back. “Wow. This might sound bad, but I’m glad he stood you up,” he paused, as to breath in confidence and I looked slightly offended, “-otherwise I never would have met you.” He blushed kissed my forehead.
Calum: “-a question mark, and done!” I just finished writing the love letter I would soon give to my friend, Calum. He has no idea I like him, or at least I don’t think so. I invited Calum to our regular hangout spot, his tree house to finally tell him I have loved him for a while now. I was happily walking the dirt road to Calum’s property. I kept making up the best scenarios that could possibly happen after showing him the letter.
He knew I wasn’t able to speak my my feelings out so he would probab- “Hehe. Calum!” I heard someone, a teenage girl more specifically, yell out from Calum’s house. Oh hell no. I ran with all of my might to his room’s window. What I saw was heartbreaking, He was making out with my best girl friend, she knew I liked him. I ran to hide under the bridge while crying.
I desperately searched my person for the letter I wrote to rip it into tiny pieces but I couldn’t find it. It must have fell out when I crouched to see them better. I emotionlessly slid down and slowly submerged into the contaminated river water and heard ny name yelled but it was ignored.
Ashton: “Y/N!” “What?!?” “Is that what you’re wearing to the movies?” “Umm yes, why?” “Uh, don’t take this wrong,but  it’s just not a good look on you.” I have to admit that it stung a little. I closed my eyes and turned away not wanting her to see me. “Y/N, I’m sorry. You know I didnt’t mean it like that. I just meant that you could look better in something else, more than you do right now.” She turned me around and frowned, “I’m sorry Y/N.”
“It’s okay, I guess I’m just nervous to be going to the movies with Josh, the most popular boy in school, this will be my first date ever, I must be psyching myself out or someting. He said that we’ll choose the movie when we get there.” I checked my phone for any notifications and there were two, both from Josh.They said that his car was having troubles and had to get it fixed and he would have to meet me there.
“Well I have to walk there, car troubles. See you tomorrow, I’ll text you the details.” She smiled at me and left as I did. I got there 15 minutes later and didn’t see Josh, must be running late. I saw him go in with my best friend? I tried to hold back tears. “Miss, why are you crying?” I told him what I just witnessed. “Well he’s an idiot, they both are. my shift ends in 5, would you like to watch a movie with me?” I nodded and waited for him.
Micheal: I kept checking the time. It wasn’t like Micheal to be late for one of our sleepover movie nights. We always do our famous sleepovers every other Friday through Sunday. We eat junk food, because I always had to eat healthily at home, we watch movies, terrible ones first to make fun of them. We also gossip about what happened in school those past few weeks and just talk about anything.
It’s not like we were dating; though that’s what was our topic of discussion for this weekend. I waited a few more minutes, thinking he was in traffic, or took the long way by walking. After being fed up with waiting, I walked, more like jogged, my way to Micheal’s house to see what was up. I arrived and asked Micheal’s mother about him and she said he was on his way a few minutes ago.
I smiled, then his mother said something about him not taking anything though. I thought it weird but didn’t think anything of it. I ran home but didn’t see Micheal anywhere, I did however, see him with his other friends. I just walked into my house, feeling defeated, and not looking forward to a long weekend alone.
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Penny for Your Thoughts
Chapter one: M E S S: a word to describe my mind. Others use the saying " perfect disaster" but the simple four letter word works just fine for me. It amazes me how many "perfect disasters" I probably encounter on my way to the train. I pass over 300 people a day and I can guarantee not everyone of those suit wearing, business owning humans have all their thoughts perfectly sorted out. I do not understand why people always have to look so put together all the time. I saw a lady have a mental break down at train station today because she was an assistant to a huge CEO and she got him the wrong coffee, but she had the mental break down after she hung up the phone. Whatever, not my job. I do not have a job. My cousin passed away last year and he had a painting in his basement that I found, it was worth five million dollars. So I guess you could say I am an unemployed, messy minded, millionaire . So by this point you are probably wondering why do I go to the train everyday if I do not have a job. I like to ride to the park and go to the museum. Yup, everyday. I would say it clears my mind but honestly I have not had a clear mind since the age of eight. I just like to sit at the park and eat my lucnh while listening to music. After my lunch I go and look at this painting that looks just like my favorite Norman Rockwell painting. After that I go home. I live by myself in an apartment in London. I never was in a serious relationship long enough to have someone move in. My mind was always so overwhelmed I never got around to asking any of my boyfriends if they had wanted to move in. By the time I had really thought about it they would breakup with me because I never thought about the future I only thought about now. I also know that all my relationships, a grand total of two, were never super serious enough to move in. Now here I am single and alone in my apartment. To bad dogs are not aloud or I would have 62. I now have another worry to add to my mess of a mind. I worry I will be alone forever in my apartment. I am only 20 so yeah I got some time ahead of me to get my millionare life sorted out, but my worries get the best of me. I always see couples meeting eachother in the train station. The typical couple that run into eachothers arms and hug eachother for awhile then kiss and talk about how they have missed one another. I feel I will not have that. Sometimes I waist a whole day at the station people watching and it makes me feel this sort of boogled feeling of happy and sad. Again, whatever, back to my life. Chapter two: Today I woke up way later then normal and figured by the time I got up and ready the museum would be to crowded so I decided to just skip it today. I tied up my converse and rode my bike to the train station. It was so silent it was as if everyone got a car today and ditched the train. I sat down and pulled out my book and decided to read. I heard the sound of sneakers squeaky before I saw someone enter. " Do not worry, I just got to class I have a good feeling I will pass this test! call you later," a boy said as he hungup his phone and sat two seats over from me. He dropped his bag and looked up at me. I tried to look away fast but it was too late. " I dropped out of college two months ago and my parents think I am still attending," he said, assuming I was going to ask. I just nodded as if I did not care. For that brief second his blue eyes locked on mine and for the first time in 12 years my mind went clear. He smriked " Just thought I should tell someone" he said as he took out a book and started reading. I pushed my hair behind my ears and went back to reading. " Wow you like the author Q. Smith too," he sounded excited pointing out we were reading the same book. " He has away with words" I said not lifting my eyes from the page. You may be thinking this is incredibly rude of me, it is just, I got this feeling of love at first site that I knew was a feeling I had never had and I did not know how to cope with it. " You have to be a college drop out too, no one dedicates an entire day to reading Q. Smith in a train station at the age of, let me guess 20 like me?" His accent and blonde hair was so distracting I just nodded again. He told me how he wanted to become a business owner but something came up so he just decided to quit. He has been going to the library everyday since he dropped out but today it was too full so he just came here. " I am going to just keep talking because I have not had an intellgent conversation in two months," he stopped for a second to smirk then kept going. " My name is Noah, Noah Prinslo, and I just want to find away threw this world without breaking it." I instantly looked up at him and felt as if he had just said the words I had been looking for and trying so hard to say. He looked at me and we just remained silent. " Noah, you can not break what is already so badly broken." I said to him while our eyes stayed on eachother. He went to say something but a train came rushing in and his eyes moved from mine and his mouth shut. His phone beeped and the time on his phone was 2:15, me and Noah talked for three hours, or should I saw Noah talked to me for 2 hours and 56 minutes and I talked for 4 minutes. He got up " This is my train but hey I will be here tomorrow and I hope to see you here too, same time." and he walked onto the train. As fast as Noah cleared my mind is how fast it became a mess again. Chapter Three: Noah Prinslo. His mind was a mess like mine and that is what made him so perfect. He had nothing figured out and his thoughts where everywhere. All he wanted to do was talk and it seemed like he knew exactly what to say even when words did not need to be spoken. I missed him. His presence was like a piece I was missing for my mind to be sane. I am sure you are thinking, how can I get all this out of one talk, he is a complete stranger. I just get this feeling that he is what I need in my life. He had this way of making the things he talked about always sound so important and nice. I know there is much more I need to learn about Noah so I have a feeling the park and museum will be seeing less of me and the train station will see me more. Chapter Four: I reset my alarm to wake me up at a later time so I would get to the station in time to meet Noah. I made sure I got new music on my phone last night and the new Q. Smith book just incase he didnt show up and I was stuck just sitting there. I rode my bike at a slower pace because I didnt want to rush to an empty station. The more I thought about him the more I got nervous he wouldnt be there. It was like the saneness he bought to my mind got flooded with more insanity once our conversation was over. Again, my favorite saying, whatever. I walked in with my head tilted down at my phone to avoid eye contact with him incase he was there. I sat down and put my headphones in. " Its about time I was getting nervous you wouldnt show!" Noah was wearing a polo shirt and jeans with converse. My smile was probably bigger then it should have been but he smiled back, so it was okay. He sat closer to me today; the seat right next to me instead of two away to be exact. He pulled a red plaid lunch box out of his bag, which was cute because I havent seen someone use a lunch box since the forth grade, and a water bottle. "I hope you like turkey sandwiches because this is all I had in my pantry" he handed me one smiling and I took it. He made them as if it was for a child, crust cut off and all, extremely cute. I said thanks but didnt start to eat it because I wasnt sure if he was going to start up a conversation yet or not. He closed his lunch box and looked up at me, our eyes locked again and I knew we were about to have another mind clearing conversation. Chapter Five: "I live alone up the street from the library which was convenient when I would go to college but now its even better because when my parents try to FaceTime me while im there the library makes an awesome college looking background. I even get the kids behind me in the frame so it looks like there are kids learning with me" he said all of this like he could trust me with anything and it was cool. I never moved my eyes from his. His eyes lit up like Christmas tree as he talked and he made every conversation he spoke about seem important. " Okay enough about me, can you tell me why you dedicate your entire day sitting here?" My eyes suddenly moved from his and here came the flood of worries back into my mind. What if he wasnt as interested in my life as I was in his, or if he criticized something I said. " Im an open book, I have majored in science and minored in business but dont have a job, my job is watching the world change, I guess. Whats the sense of getting a job just to loose it or retire from it. " I said all of this not looking at him, just at my hands folded in my lap. "Wow, as if I needed another reason to like you!" He said that sentence in true awe for some reason. When I looked up his eyes were in the same position they were when I listened to him talk, as if he was still focusing on me even though I wasnt looking at him. " Lets get out of here! Its friday and my parents know I have no classes today" he said with a smirk as he held out his hand. I got up and took his hand in mine and he led us to the exit. I was not sure where we were going but for some reason I trusted him. Chapter Six: I know what your thinking, and kids dont try this at home, trusting a stranger at a train station is probably not the smartest idea. Noah and I walked out of the station and it was 1:16 and he pulled out his phone to look up something. It was all shattered but he managed to read the screen just fine. " Perfect we have twenty minutes to get there! Do you wanna go to the movies?" Noah looked at me and pushed his hair back waiting for me to answer. " I would love to, which one?" I said not overly excited but a decent amount. My mind was probably trying to figure out how excited to be that a stranger just asked me to the movies and I was saying yes. " All of them!" He took my hand and we made it to the movies and got two tickets. I followed him to the theater and saw it was some french silent film playing. We walked in and it was half way over. " I thought you said we had time to make it" I said to Noah because I was confused. "Just watch" the look on his face was lovely. It was like a look you could never get tired off. I smiled and just watched. The movie was getting intense even though we had missed a good twenty minutes of it. We were in the theater for about ten minutes then Noah grabbed my arm and led me out of the theater. " Come on we are going to miss the next movie!" he said this as we ran to the next room over. We sat in the back and it was a war movie. At this point you are probably as confused as I am. I was not sure what was going on or why we just ran out of one movie and ran into another, but I was just going with it. He did the same thing for the next three movies. We watched ten minutes of five movies. A silent love story in France, a war movie, a cartoon, a documentry about America, and a space movie. " Well?" he said looking at me happily. " I cant really give you my thoughts on any of them becasue we only saw parts of each." I looked at him and smiled because I was still super confused. " You told me your job was to watch the world change, I helped you watch it change in 50 minutes. You witnessed love, war, youth, America, and Space change all in one day. You are welcome." Chapter Seven: Noah and I walked back to the train station and we both went home. I rode my bike and noticed that as many question as Noah asked, he never once asked me what my name was. If you met someone and impacted their life so much in only two days, how could you not want to know their name. The next day I went with a only a pencil, notebook and a bottle of water. This time me and Noah arrived at the exact time. We sat down and I put my notebook and pencil out on the little side table next to us. " Are you going to survey me today! I already told you everything." he smirked and just looked at me. " Why havent you asked me my name?Its a silly question to ask but I need to know, and..." I said it so quickly it was like my mind didnt even have time to proccess the sentence and it just kept going. Noah leaned in and kissed me and smiled as if he were hiting pause on my question. " Lea is my name" I just starred into his eyes waiting for him to say something. "Almost as lovely as you," He got up and handed me a list of all the towns in London. " Come on Lea!" he ran to the train list and wrote down the times. The light coming off the sign lit up his face. He had such a sweet look on his face like a child, everything he did or said seemed so kind, like he was too pure for this world. " Okay Lea so if we go now we can see every town from the train without getting off, you can see London change in a day!" It amazed me how he was so interested in helping me see the world change. " Noah as much as you help me see the world change, promise me you wont." I said this as I was putting my train ticket in my wallet. " Lea, I dont even carry change in my pockets." Everything he said he ended with a smile. We got on the train and he sat super close to me, I didnt mind it just seemed he was scared and sat that close for comfort. " Are you okay Noah?" I held his hand and tried to make eye contact with him but he just looked out the window. " I am great! I just never really liked this part of London that is all" even when he was scared he sounded like he was fine. As the train went foward Noah looked at me " Watch this!" he pointed to the little houses and the sign said population 100. As we rode past the end of that town we entered the next town and it had huge buildings and its population was in the thousands. "Population and building increase, change right before your eyes." he smiled so big and all I could do was smile back." " Lea is there something you wanted so badly but never thouhgt you would have," his question sounded so sincere like he really wanted to know an answer. I looked at him and everytime I looked into his eyes all I could do was smile, " To be honest all I ever wanted was someone to truely love me so much and do great things with them." He looked at me and said " Man am I good, I occomplished two things you wanted in one day." I swear Noahs smile might bring world peace. At this point, atleast my world was at peace. Chapter Eight: We were coming close to the end of our day on the train. We entered back into our town and we where ten minutes from our station. " Noah, your phone rang at least thirty times while we where on the train maybe you should call those people back what if it is important." I looked down to see Noahs head resting on my shoulder and he had fallen asleep. How could someone look so kind and perfect even while sleeping? The train let out a loud whistling sound and Noahs whole body jumped up as if someone had scared him. "I am sorry Lea, that sound always seems to scare me now, maybe because I never noticed how loud it was." his voice sounded like he was sleepy and I knew he was because we had had a long day. " It is okay Noah, we are almost back at the train station anyways! I think your parents tried calling you a few times, maybe they know you are skipping class today" I said to him jokingly and we both smiled at eachother. "It is probably nothing, they know I am okay I will talk to them later." He shut his phone off and put his head back on my shoulder. The train stopped and Noah and I got off. We had spent 12 hours on the train and it was now 8 at night. " Ms. Lea would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" Noah said this as if it was written down on paper and I was reading it in my head. " Sure where!" I said things to him now in confidence, the three days we already had together was like I knew Noah for years. " Lets go to my favorite place." I assumed it would be some high end restraunt that served six meals and my outfit would not meet the standord dress code, man was I never happy to be more worng. We walked up to this field with blankets all around and people all having their own little picnics while watching the sun set. You could order your own personal picnic basket and just sit and talk at your own blanket and no one rushed. He told me topick basket and then meet him at the spot we had chosen to sit. I picked one and handed it to him, " I hope you like turkey sandwiches." At this point if we didnt end a conversation with a smile you should assume something is wrong. We ate our food and watched the sun go down and it was the most my mind had been at ease in a long time. Noahs phone rang again and again and everytime it rang he shut it down. " Noah what if someone needs you?" I told him it was okay if he answered his phone and talked for awhile if he wanted me to walk myself home. " Lea, no one needs me that badly to call thirty five times, it is okay! I think it is time to go home now though because the last train is almost going." He lent out his hand and he held mine. We walked back to the station and he wrote down his apratment number and phone number. " Now if you call me, do not worry, I will not let it ring thirty five times, I will gladly answer." He smiled and went on his train and I walked to my apartment. Chapter Nine: I texted Noah and told him to come to my place today because there was going to be bad weather and it was not a good idea to be traveling alot. He came in and his smile lit up my entire apartment. " Wow look how big your bay window is! I guess with a job like yours, watching the world change must be pretty fun threw this window!" " Noah, seeing the world change with you is way more fun." He got up and kissed me softly and looked into my eyes " Lea you made these past four days so amazing we missed the biggest change of them all, we have changed eachother. People change people. Boom, another change right in front of you. Maybe we should do this job together." He kissed me again and it felt as if I had no worries in the world. His phone buzzed again and he stopped it, this time it was a flood of texts instead of a call. " Noah why dont you just answer." his phone had half a message typed out but never sent. " Lea, it is truely okay, my parents found out where I was and know I am okay. Honestly." He smiled at me and told me he had to go. " Tomorrow comeby me and we can think of a new adventure." The door shut and all I could do was smile. I never knew how badly I needed someone like him in my life until he was in it. I understand we only met not even a full week ago but it just seems like he has something no one esle in the world does. Chapter Ten: Noah texted me the next mroning telling me to meet him at the library. I rode my bike into the parkinglot and there he was, standing there with flowers and his beautiful smile. " I picked these for you from the place we ad dinner at the other night on my way home from your apartment." I understand I have said this a million times, but everytime he smiled my heart melted. " Thank you Noah, for everything." He looked up and just smirked. We walked into the library and we sat all the way in the back. We just talked for along time about our favorite authors and books. He showed me how to read between the lines. We laughed and talked for a long time there, and no body seemed to care. Noah and I had again spent an entire day together, and today he walked me home. " Lea I will see you tomorrow my love." he hugged me, like the way a child hugs his parents on the first day of school. " I love you Lea." he said this so softly and he was still hugging me. " I love you too Noah, thank you for showing me how fast the world changes everyday." I went to let go of our hug and he was still holding on. It was a super tight hug like he was scared to let go. " Hey, Noah look at me, it is okay we will see eachother tomorrow Noah whats wrong?" he pulled away from me and our eyes locked again. " It has been my honor to help you see the world this past week, see you tomorrow Ms. Lea." He kissed me goodbye and I just watched him walk until his outline was gone because he turned the corner. Chapter Eleven: Noah: "Hello my love I would like to take you on a new adventure today." I woke up to that text from Noah and an instant smile came over my face. I texted him back asking him where I should meet him and he told me to meet him at his apartment. I got ready then rode my bike to his place. Noah lived on the second floor of his building, and the third one in. When I got to the door all I could notice was the huge stack of mail piling outside his door. " Hey Noah its me, do you want me to get all this mail off of your door mat?" " Its okay Lea we have something fun to do today, lets go!" he said as he opened his door and then locked it behind him and took my hand. He took me to the park next to his apartment and we sat down next to the pond." Is it cool if todays adventure we just relax?" He said it like he was sad to be asking. " Sure Noah, we dont need to hangout today if you dont want to." I went to get up and he stopped me. " No I just want to talk about me and you today only, not about anything else." He pulled me closer to him and kissed me, " So tell me Lea is there anything else you want to know about me?" I guess this was a good thing he asked being that we really didnt know much about eachother. " What came up that made you quit college and why cant you tell your parents?" He looked at me with such a sad look on his face I instantly regretted asking him. " Im sorry Noah never mind" I said it super fast and with no emotion in my voice. " Its okay Lea! I quit college because I got in involved with the wrong type of kids in college, not drugs or anything, they just were the wrong ffriends to choose." he paused for a second and then once he started talking he couldnt stop. Chapter Twelve: " They wanted alot from me, I was only a freshman so I wanted to make friends fast because I was scared of being alone. So when these groups of guys asked me if I wanted to hangout with them I was all for it. We did normal things like play pool and go to the lounge and just hangout with people. I felt for the first time in along time that I was popular. Of course the guys went to parties alot and stuff but the nights they went out I stayed home. I would call my parents and talk to them for hours because I missed them alot. One night the guys told me to comeout with them and I said okay. I told them I wouldnt drink and they called me names jokingly and then said whatever. It was this big party behind the tracks and everybody who was anybody was there." he looked at me and smiled " I really wish I knew you then because you could have came with me and I would have had a way better time." I feel like part of the reason he said that was to make sure I was still listening. He didnt need to though because I was truthfully intrested in what he was saying. " Everyone was having a grand time and I was just there... My friends saw I was on my phone and they took it from me. They made stupid comments and threw my phone back and forth to one another." Noah wasnt looking at me anymore but instead just at the ground, and then he looked up at me and smiled. I had tears in my eyes for some reason I wasnt sure why it just seemed like he was sad and I hadnt seen that part of him before. " Its okay my love, after that night I stopped attending college and never told my parents. Thats all." He locked his eyes on mine and whipped the tears off my face, " I was never the partying type and thats all that business school focused on, who needs them anyways." I dont understand how someone who looked so sad could stay so positive. We stayed quiet for the rest of the time we where there. I had fallen asleep lying next to him. When I woke up and he was there sleeping so peacefully. By the time we had both been fully awake the moon was out. " The stars are my favorite part about the night." Noah said this with his adorable smile looking right at me. " My mom and dad told me the night before I went to college that if I ever felt alone to look at the stars and know they were looking at the same thing, and to imagine we were looking at them together." he took my hand " Lea if you ever feel alone or there comes a time where we miss one another just look at the stars." " Noah thank you for not letting college or those boys change your personality." He grinned and said " Just remember the stars are ours my love." and we went back to our own apartments. Chapter Thirteen: Todays date was March 12, and me and now had hungout for a total of nine days. In those nine days we said we loved one another, kissed and hugged each other, helped eachother see the change in the world, and clame the stars as ours. I had forgotten how much of a mess my mind had been and I never felt better. We accomplished alot in nine days that some people couldnt accomplish in a life time. I hadnt heard from Noah all day that morning about any new adventures. I checked my phone every minute and there was nothing. I decided to call him and there was no answer. I had a fereling something was wrong so I decided to go to the museum today because maybe Noah needed a break from me and I have not bedn there in a few days. Chapter Fourteen: Of course out of all the days, today the museum was closed. I walked to the library to just relax. When I walked in I saw a bunch of college students doing a power point so I tried to sit away from them. They were making a slideshow about someone and some students were crying. I overheard one of them say " It has been almost two months and I still can not believe it." and another say how it was just a terrible accidnet. I hated seeing people cry and I wanted to call Noah badly at this point just to hear his voice. I couldnt take the sound of the students crying anymoe so I got up and walked to Noahs apartment. I was hoping he would be home. At this point I was wondering where he had went because I figured he would have called me back or texted me by now. When I got to his door there was even more mail and packages now too. They were from WEC University, the college Noah had attented but dropped out of. I slide it them to the the side so I could knock on his door. As I did so the corner of his door mat came up and a key was showing. " Hey Noah its Lea, I just wanna make sure you are okay, can I come in?" there was no answer. Okay what I am about to do next is super creepy for a girl to do after only knowing a guy fo nine days, but I used the key from under the matt and opened his door. It opened really slow and the apartment was silent. "Noah are you okay?" my voice was super shakey because I was scared. His apartment looked like a picture out of a magazine. Everything was in a perfect place and everything was so organized. I walked around and no one was in the apartment. His answering machine was blinking and in red numbers it said he had 76 missed messages. I guess he doesnt like answering messages. I walked back to the library and my mind went instantly back to a mess. Chapter Fifteen: The college students where still there and they were now laughing and looking at pictures of the student. I saw that one of them had a sweatshirt on that said WEC on it. I wonder if they would remember Noah. I walked up to them " Hey I am Lea! Im not sure whatgrade you guys are in but do you by any chance know who Noah Prinslo is?" as the words came out of my mouth I looked down and saw Noahs face on one of the pictures in a girls hand. "Hey yeah! thats him right there" I sounded more excited then the the students looked. "How did you know him" a girl said giving me an unfriendly look. " I still know him" I said, " I..." the students all just looked at me confused and all turned away from me. One boy got up and walked me to the back of the library. " Did no one tell you what happened to Noah?" I was getting nervous and just nodded my head no. The boy handed me a newspaper with the heading " COLLEGE BOYS' DEATH BY TRAIN HAS WEC UNIVERSITY IN SHOCK." " He was at a party one night and some stupid frat boys took his phone and threw it and it landed on the tracks. He ran to pick it up and his foot got stuck on one part of the tracks. The party was so loud and people where drunk that no one heard him calling for help. We heard the train let out a loud sound and we thought it was because we were not aloud to be there so we all aplit before the cops could catch us. The next morning a lady went to the police station because she had found Noahs phone shattered and she just wanted to return it. They went to investigate and later that day in the papers the article saying Noah passed away cameout. Poor kid was always so friendly what a shame. His parents didnt even know where he had went to the party or anything." I ran out of the library and to Noahs apartment without saying a word to that boy, he had to be lying, it could not be true. Chapter Sixteen: I opened Noahs door and cried out his name. I had tears running down my face it was as if all my feelings were coming out all at once and my mind was everywhere. I ran to his answering machine and clicked on the speaker button. It said " MESSAGES FROM JANUARY ( and it rambled off a bunch of dates.) MESSAGE ONE " Noah come out tonight man it will be fun and we are going to buy som..." I skipped it, " Noah dont forget to call us tonight to tell us what time you are coming home next weekened. We love you and cant wait to see you. Mum says you passed you last two test with 90s and we are so proud of you lad, call me back later" I still had tears streaming down my face I felt my chest closing like it was harder to inhale. I probably should have stopped listening but I kept going. " YOOOOO NOAH DUDE WEAR THOSE NEW SHOES YOU GOT TONIGHT THEY ARE AWESOME AND TONIGHT WILL BE SUPER FUN DUDE YOU ARE GOING TO THANK ME ONE DAY FOR THIS BUDDY..." I cut off that one too and the next 15 from that same boy saying how fun that night would be. The next message was from the night of the party. " NOAH MANNNNNNNNNN CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THIS I COULDNT FIND YOU ONCE WE ALL SPLIT DUDE BEFORE THE COPS COULD COME..." the kid called another three times and said the same thing probably because he was too drunk to know he called already. "Noah sweety its your mum, you didnt call us back yesterday, just calling to make sure all is okay. Call me back." " Noah its me again honey please call me back." "Noah enough now you are making me worried" " Noah the cops just said they found your cellphone please call them and say you will go pick it up, if you think we are mad that you broke it dont worry we can get a new one just call us." " Noah please your mother is in a panic thinking you are hurt." " Buddy its me dad again, we love you and know you cant be the boy they said they found by the tracks so please call me to tell me you are okay." That was the last message I listened to because I couldnt take it anymore. I dont understand. The only thing I could think to do was call his mom and dad.I wrote down the number from the answering machine and called. Chapter Seventeen: "Hello?" I said it so softly, almost silent, " Is this Mrs. Prinslo?" I was shaking. " Yes this is she, who is calling?" " Hi Mrs. Prinslo this is Lea and I have some questions to ask you about your son Noah if you are willing to talk." "I am always willing to talk about him. Lea, what do you want to know?" " Thank you, recently I have felt super close to Noah and to my understanding he has passed away two months ago." "Yes Lea this is true, how did you know him, did you go to school with him?" " He met me at the train station awhile back and taught me things I never knew I needed to learn, I just wanted to tell you how special he was and that he was such a lovely person. I am honored to say I knew him." " Thank you Lea. He was such a great son, thank you for calling." I hungup the phone and felt like that conversation was fake. I opened my laptop and googled his name. All the news articles came up saying how he died, and it gave the name of the cemetary he was burried at. I wrote down the place and rode my bike there. Chapter Eighteen: His grave was lonely. It was near a tree. It read "NOAH PRINSLO: OUR LOVELY SON NOW AMOUNG THE STARS. 1996-2016. " I kneeled down next ot the grave and rubbed my hand over it. "Hi Noah, I love you." I stoppped talking because I started to cry. " Lea I never wanted to tell you I am sorry my love." He was standing behind me. "Your mind was such a beautiful mess and I wanted to help you fix it." " Noah this is impossible, how are you here Noah you are dead." I didnt even like saying it out loud but nothing was making sense at all. "Lea I needed to help you see the world change so you could start living in it before it changes too much." Noah knelt down next to me and kissed the top of my head. "You need to start living your life beyond the park and the museum Lea. I said I was scared to break this world and you told me it was already broken. You need to fix. Change the world Lea, make it unbroken." Noah had tears running down his face and I just hugged him. I was scared to let him go. " I need to go now my love, I need to." He let go of me and the last thing niah said to me that day and forever was " Just remember the stars are ours." and I was suddenly just holding the air. Chapter Nineteen: A week had gone by and since that day at the grave yard I havent seen Noah. Nothing made sence anymore. I stayed up late just staring at the ceiling. Everything I loved about Noah wasnt even there. The exact train that killed him he road with me everyday. That loud sound that killed him bought him closer to me. His cracked phone, his messages, him telling me his parents knew he was okay, him dropping out of college. He didnt drop out he just couldnt go anymore because that thing that " came up" was death. He knew all my thoughts because he could see right though. He never had to ask me my name because he already knew it. It was no accident that he met me at the train station that day. He was sent to me to help me not only change the world but fix it. How am I suppose to fix something I dont understand. The one thing that made me think straight is gone. I am not even sure how Im supposed to feel anymore. I went from me thinking I have a messy mind to me slowly lossing it. Chapter Twenty: I decided to stop going to the library and the park. I didnt even go to the train station at all anymore. Everything I did reminded me of Noah. For someone who was only in my life for 9 days, he changed it forever. His accent was stuck in my head. Sometimes the thoughts I had sounded like his voice, like he was my conscience. I stayed home alot and just looked out my window. I decided to go outside tonight and sit out there because I needed fresh air. I closed my eyes and just sat there. I was just trying to clear my head. When I opened my eyes it was as if every star in the world was out. As if 3 million new stars were created. I felt like the night changed me. I went back inside and decided to make a trip to the bank in the morning. Chapter Twenty One: I dressed super buisness woman like this morning. I walked into the bank and took out my 5 million dollars. I went home and started to do alot of research about making a business. It took me a total of three weeks before I figured everything I needed to. Noah told me to change this world and thats what I was determind to do. I opened up my own business online called Penny for your thoughts, change the world one day at a day at a time with the change in your pockets. The business only cost me 300 dollars to make and I put all the rest of the money I had I just donated to Penny for your thoughts. I dedicated my business to Noah and the money people donated I gave to Noahs mom. Turns out Noahs parents owed alot of moeny to hospitals from when they tried to save Noah and they still owed money to the college. Im just trying to fix this world and my mind through change.
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