Silver: Hangman, I just wanted to - say something to you, I’m gonna get a little closer.

Hangman: [softly] Okay.

[Silver walks over to Hangman and puts his arms on one of Hangman’s shoulders.]

Silver: Hangman - a little lower.

Hangman: [softly] Yep, okay.

[Hangman kneels down a bit so that John can whisper into his ear.]

Silver: [in a nasally voice because his nose is literally at Hangman’s jawline, as well as a small pause after nearly every word] I really appreciate you not being their tag partner because I would never wanna fight you, you’re one of my best friends -

Hangman: Mhm.

Silver, continued: [Silver puts one hand on Hangman’s other arm so as to wrap him in a partial embrace] - and this journey has been amazing and uh, it’s just, to have you as our friend has been fantastic -

Hangman: [nods] Mhm.

Silver: - and I love every second of it -

Hangman: Mhm.

Silver: I cherish you, I cherish our friendship -

[Hangman cannot help but to smile and struggles to hold back laughter]

Silver: - and I don’t wanna harm you. Okay?

Hangman: [slightly chuckling] Okay. Okay. It means a lot, yeah. Thank you.

Evil Uno: [palming his eyes] That was beautiful.

Silver: I don’t wanna see you get hurt, and I don’t wanna see you hurt my friends.

Hangman: [softly with a hint of a laugh] Okay.

Silver: So I love you and I appreciate you. Okay?

Hangman: [gently] Thank you very much, John Silver.

[Silver gives Hangman a wonderfully chaste and sweet kiss on the cheek.]

Hangman: Thank you.

[John walks back over to Alex’s side.]

I don’t know if you’re planning on doing more for that Hangman concept but if you do, can we maybe see more on the reasons why they split up?

Oh yeah this is fun. If you hadn’t seen the first little concept it’s linked here for you.

“Y/n Seresin?” Rooster beamed as he took his sunglasses off. Shutting the door of his Bronco with a quick whip of his arm. “As I live and breathe—“ Standing still in your place as Rooster came towards you with quick strides. A gentle sigh escaping your mouth as he took you in for a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Probably has something to do with what’s brought you here.” It was a start as you pulled away. “And please don’t call me Seresin.”

“Did you get divorced?” Rooster was quick to question. His arms crossed as he placed his sunglasses into the v neck of his white undershirt.

“Well no but—“

“Then you’re just as stuck with him as the rest of us are.” Rooster had always been a kind soul. He’d always given you the time of day whenever your paths had crossed. Which wasn’t all that often. But he respected you. “And nice hair, suits.” That made you chuckle, of course Rooster only had compliments to give. If only he’d known not five minutes ago back at the bar, Jake had reminded you that you were no badass, and certainly no fun. “Trying something new huh?”

“More of an I have no idea what I’m doing with my life sort of breakdown but sure, we’ll go with trying something new.” Rooster simply gave you another gentle hug. His arms coming to wrap around your shoulders as he drew you into his chest. Your arms around his midsection.

“You aren’t staying?” Pulling away Rooster asked softly as he noticed the new symbol on your collar. Something Jake hadn’t. Too caught up with your new hair. “Lieutenant commander—“ Smirking, you wore your collar’s with pride.

“One and done for me Bradshaw, but I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.” Which you did. You did see Bradley Bradshaw, as well as the rest of the TopGun graduates. Some you’d met before—others? New faces. But none as mesmerising, as intoxicating, as arrogant as Jake Seresin.

“His exploits are legendary—and he’s considered to be one of the finest pilots this program has ever produced.” Admiral Bates gave Pete Mitchell a pretty good wrap, all things considered. You could easily feel the animosity in the room, not only from Maverick and whatever shit he had going on—but as you walked down the aisle next to Pete Maverick Mitchell holding stacks of paperwork atop your clipboard held close to your chest? You felt Jake seething. The toothpick he played with absentmindedly almost stabbed him in the eye as his jaw slacked, his eyes rolled. Coming to squeeze the bridge of his nose to ward off the almost guaranteed headache he was about to get, not only had he physically thrown his Captain out of the Hard Deck. But his wife was suddenly a lieutenant commander—. “Working alongside him we have one to the Navy’s most leading experts in covert operations, with missions such as the Heasman project and the Maranda Accords, I give you Captain Pete Maverick Mitchell and Lieutenant Commander Y/n Hawkeye Seresin.”

“Holy shit—that’s her?” Fanboy whispered to Coyote as he slumped in his chair. Hiding his mouth behind his hand. “Wait, why do they call her Hawkeye?”

“Because I never miss, Lieutenant.” It wasn’t hard not to hear the mumbling.

“The F-18 NATOPs—“ Maverick began addressing the group of TopGun graduates as you stood beside him. Reports in your arms as you tried to read the pilot’s that listened intently. You wouldn’t know more until you saw them file but based on first impressions? There were two backseats, Floyd and Garcia—the rest? All pilots with egos as tall as Mt Kosciuszko. All lying in the shadow of the ego your ex held, bigger than Mt Everest.

You weren’t sure when you’d tuned out, or when Pete Maverick Mitchell had dismissed the group of aviators to go suit up. But he had done exactly that, leaving you and Jake standings face to face.

“So when did you make Lieutenant Commander?” Jake's voice is snapping you out of whatever daze you’d fallen into.

“Around the time I stopped spending my time worrying about you.” You really didn’t mean to come across rude, you were just telling the truth. “I just did a good job on the Heasman Project, had a few recommendations put forward.” It wasn’t that big of a deal, or at least you didn’t see it as one. “I um—I should really get going, I have a bunch of reports to get through.”

“I think we should talk Y/n—“ Jake dismissed your plea as he held his arm out in your tracks. Crashing into his arm as he held you in place. Looking at you over his shoulder as you stood next to him. “About us? Our marriage?”

“There is no us.” Blunt, that’s all you could be. “There hadn’t been an us in a long time.” A massive focal point of your marriage breakdown was the fact Jake Seresin didn’t like to play with others. His inability to be a team player had really started to take a heavy toll on you. He’s recklessness and self-centredness etched away at you piece by piece. Every time he flew? You wondered if he’d come home to you, knowing when he was in the cockpit of those god damn super hornets he just didn’t care. Nothing mattered more than the thrill of a kill, the adrenaline. “Your priorities didn't account for an us.”

“My number one priority was always you, you’re my wife Y/n—how could you not be?” Admitting he was ever in the wrong was something Jake Seresin would never do. He still believed you’d left because of your inability to believe someone could love you the way Jake truly did. “Regardless if you’re Blonde or Brunettes—“ He tried to make the situation a little less serious, taking the stack of reports from your arms as he walked you towards the doors.

“Putting someone first on your priority list only works if they fall in your top five, Lieutenant.” It stung. The way you referred to him as Lieutenant when the conversation was so personal. “And I’m you ex-wife, we aren’t together, there is no us, and you need to accept the fact that—“

“If you really wanna do this, then divorce me.” Jake had a bad habit of calling your bluffs. “I’ll sign the papers, do whatever you want me to do.” He was serious, he would. “But until I see it in writing?” Pausing as he opened the door for you, falling behind you. “We’re married, you're my wife, and I’m still very much your husband.” All you could do was stare at Jake as he walked you down the hall towards your office. Becoming one the Navy’s most sought after analyst’s really did have its perks.

“So, if we’re still married and you’re still oh so in love with me, why were you trying to hit on the hot blonde at the bar?” Caught. Red. Handed. Leaning against the door of your office as you took back your reports. Holding them in your arms against your chest as Jake trapped you between the door and his chest. Arms either side of you. Nowhere to run as his eyes looked you up and down. “You didn’t know it was me—you didn’t recognise it was me, so cut the doting husband act because we both know, you’ve been rooting anything with a hole that you can stick it in.” Holding his left hand up to your face your eyes trained in on the tattooed wedding band. Ink permanently displayed.

“Can’t, this draws too much attention and questions—“ Leaning in, the gap getting smaller and smaller, Jake smirked as he placed his hand back against the doorframe. “I’m an idiot—“

“That’s pretty evident—“

“I am still very, very much in love with you Mrs Seresin.” With lips ghosting yours, Jake smirked wildly knowing he had you right where he wanted you. Before he had the chance to place his lips against yours though? You opened the door. Stepping into your office with a heart beating out of your chest and a heat so prominent across your face it felt like your cheeks were about to explode. “Y/n c’mon—“

“I'm not that easily manipulated.” You stood your ground, firm and strong. “I’ll see you around Lieutenant.”

“Hawk—!” Shutting your door Jake pressed his forehead against the wood. His fist balled as his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. “Dammit—“ kicking himself down the hall as he made his way to basic.

Not knowing how badly you wanted to give into him.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Made these little lock screens for Hangman and Hawkeye.

Storm

Phoenix x reader part 4 of prey!

Warnings: Slow burn, enemies to lovers, angst? hurt reader

a/n: sorry for this taking so long my loves, I hope you enjoy this part!

When you woke up this morning with a raging hangover and embarrassment pushing against your heart in a way that makes you want to stay in bed forever.

Sighing you sit up and square your shoulders. If you have to get through today then you might as well try and do it with your head held high.

Groaning as you recall Phoenix being the one who had taken you home. Instead of slamming your head into the wall you tighten the standard regulation boots around your ankles.

Thankfully nobody said a word about you doing anything embarrassing. Truthfully everyone's gotten a bit too drunk a time or two. You just expected yours to be the brunt of jokes today.

You feel like your skin is crawling until the moment you sit in your jet. It's like all the built in tension that started as soon as you woke up this morning is gone. Any worries or stress that clouds your mind is gone as soon as you are in your jet. The sound of the loud jets couldn't even get hungover you down. Sure it made your head pound a little harder but you weren't discouraged by that in the slightest.

The roaring sound is muffled by the headphones to talk to other pilots but you can feel the rumbling in your bones. It sparks your soul on fire every time.

"ready to kick some ass?" none other than your new found best friend echos through the mic.

"Oh hangman I'm always ready to kick some ass" his laughter chortles back. You're running drills together today- not dogfighting but it excites you all the same.

You're two runs in with hangman, trying to beat the time when Maverick crackles over the radio.

"you guys need to turn back now." he sounds urgent and serious.

"what why?" you guys were making good time this time around, and you didn't want to give that up.

"a storm changed directions and it's rolling in fast- get grounded as soon as possible" being caught up in a storm is something no pilot really wants, but you and hangman are so close to reaching the goal time.

So you do what any two cocky idiot pilots would do and you two press on. You're almost done anyways and then you can head back. In another minute and a half you and hangman curse, barely not beating the course by 5 seconds. 5 seconds too slow. Too slow-- words a pilot never wants to hear. You two turn to head back when you see the storm behind you.

"Uh jake you seeing this?" you swallow thickly- when maverick said storm you didn't expect the large black clouds billowing in and quickly.

"oh I see it alright. let's hustle" and you two did exactly that. Whipping through the sky above the canyon to avoid the need to slow down. You two make good time, not wanting to mess with the ominous sky. As hangman goes into land you circle around to get ready for your landing.

That's when everything goes wrong though. A wind burst hits your right engine in a way that makes it stall, you're too close to the ground to try and get the engine up and running again.

"My-My engine stalled- going in for a landing with one engine, don't have another option."

"What! you'll come in way too hot!"

"I know that's why I'm going to turn and run the runway backwards- i'll hit empty field not building"

"tiger You can't do that you'll get seriously hurt"

"You got another option for me? I can't eject- too close to the ground- if i turn off to turn on to fix the stall I'll crash. Landing unsteady has to be it" Silence crackles back at you, and you know that while he doesn't like it he agrees.

"Please be careful"

"have some faith" and with that you make the turn, lowering your altitude and targeting yourself to the runway.

Your wheels touch ground roughly, and too quick. Your body whips around like a rag doll. The last thing you see is the rough field quickly approaching before your head slams into the window and you black out.

----

Phoenix was never fond of running, she could do it sure- but on the days it was time to run laps she hated it. She could deadlift more than half her weight but running was the bane of her existence.

This time though, she hadn't even realized she was running. Blood was rushing in her ears so loud that she can't even register the yelling going on around her.

She's halfway down the runway when Bob finally catches her, stopping her by grabbing her shoulders.

"Phoenix stop" her eyes lock on his and her brain comes into focus.

"She's hurt bob"

"I know- the medics are already out there helping her, you would just get in the way and she doesn't need that right now."

"bob-- I-" He nods his head and pulls her into a hug.

"I know, she will be okay and you can tell her yourself."

Thirty minutes later Phoenix is pacing in the waiting room of the hospital. Nobody had anything to say on your condition and it was driving her mad.

How did nobody know how you were doing? The whole team was sitting in the waiting room around her and she could see their nervousness too. Rooster bouncing his knee, bob tapping his thigh, Hangman being shockingly quiet and biting the inside of his cheek. Maverick was up at the nurses station trying to find anything out, even though he knew they wouldn't give him anything.

It's four cruel hours later that a nurse finally comes in and breaks everyone out of their anxious stares at the stark white walls.

"y/n" when the nurse says your name the entire team shoots up.

"yes- how is she??" its a frantic question and Natasha isn't sure who asked it but that's not important.

"She is pretty banged up, has a severe concussion and a broken arm and fractured ribs but she should be fine" Everyone breathes out a simultaneous breath of relief.

Nobody says anything as Jake lets out a watery laugh.

"you guys can go see her- she's pretty out of it but that's normal. One at a time would be best too, we don't want to overwhelm her." Everyone nods their understanding and everyone but Jake heads to the waiting room just down the hall from her room. Natasha can breathe again for the first time since your wheels touched the tarmac, but she knows Jake needs to see you first.

---

Groggily you open your eyes, the bright white lighting making your eyes water and your head pound harder. The doctors had explained everything to you in confusing medical terminology but from what you understand you will be okay.

Sighing as you look down at your arm, an orange cast that mocks you. A reminder that you can't fly for the next couple months and it makes your heart hurt.

Your parent's had been notified and were flying to California as soon as they could. Realistically you knew how dangerous the stunt you pulled today was, and it's a miracle you are still alive and the jet didn't just crash and burn with you in it.

The door to your room creaks open and there stands a green in the face Jake Seresin.

"Hey partner" your voice is rough but you crack a smile at him anyways.

"I'm so sorry" that makes you furrow your brow.

"Jake none of this was your fault. You didn't make the storm switch directions, you didn't make me finish that course and you didn't cause my engine to stall"

"I should've had you land first"

"that would've made no sense you were ahead of me in the formation" logically he knew this, but you could see the guilt in his eyes as he glanced at your arm.

"shit happens seresin, I got a cool story out of this"

"that's not funny" he grumbles but there is a crack of a smile on his face.

"too soon?" and then he laughs.

"I just need by best friend up in that sky as soon as you're better alright?"

"try and stop me" you two share grins for a moment and he gives your aching body a hug. He informs you that the whole team wants to see you as well but they are only allowing one person at a time, and that he will see you later because there is no way you're sleeping in a hospital alone.

Everyone trickles in one and a time, and next thing you know you're exhausted. Who knew crashing while hungover would make for such a draining day. Maverick, the second to last visitor stands, promising he will have hangman pick up your favorite dinner rather than the mediocre cold food the hospital provided.

You rest your eyes for a moment before Natasha is sent in. When the familiar sound of the door creaking open sounds through the room you crack an eye open.

"I'm still a better pilot Trace" Her quiet laughter rings out

"Next time you need an excuse to get out of a mission just say that" you laugh back at her. This newfound lightness between you two is strange, but refreshing. You didn't realize how much energy it took to hate the small brunette everyday. A moment of silence lulls between you too, struggling to know what to say in this new terrain of friendship.

"you really scared us today" you close you eyes and grin.

"well you know, sometimes everyone needs a near death experience just to keep things interesting" She doesn't laugh and you don't open your eyes. So when you feel her hand grab your cast free hand it startles you.

"please don't ever do that again" you squeeze her hand

"trust me I don't plan too" she squeezes back and it's as if you two reach an understanding that there are things unsaid but you can't find the courage or energy to say them.

To be fair, almost dying is a pretty draining way to spend the day.

So is worrying about the person you love dying.

------

Taglist:

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Adam Page Narrative Headcanon (2)

Here’s another Hangman Adam Page headcanon for your reading pleasure, requested by the one and only @unabashedwrestlefics​. This is the first time I’ve ever written a fic where the reader/OC wasn’t a wrestler or in the business, so there’s that.

Anyway, I really hope you like it. I’m honestly kind of nervous.

Also tagging @what-does-mine-say​ because I have to if it’s Adam.

More headcanons here.

> When it came to your love life, you had one hard and fast rule: don’t date younger guys. Don’t even get involved with them. It just wasn’t a good idea. You were at a stage in life where you knew exactly what you wanted, needed, and deserved and weren’t willing to accept anything less—and a younger man would undoubtedly be less. They wouldn’t be able to handle your baggage. They couldn’t commit; most of them didn’t even know the meaning of the word, as you’d experienced firsthand in your twenties and even into your thirties. And now that forty was closer than it wasn’t, you didn’t even entertain guys under a certain age. There was no point. You’d only get hurt.

> But then you met Adam, and he shot your rule to hell.

> You’d been visiting a friend for the weekend. Your kids were with your ex and you felt like getting out of town. She lived a couple hours from you in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, which was exactly what you needed. To get away. Clear your head and reset your soul. The country air was good for that.

> But your friend had other ideas. You hadn’t wanted to go to the bar, but she insisted. It’d been so long since either of you had gone out and done anything—life always seemed to get in the way. So, you let her drag you out. Maybe it would be good for you; admittedly, you’d been turning into a bit of a hermit as of late.

> You saw him as soon as you walked in. The bar was busy on account of the fact that it was the only one around for miles, but he stuck out like a sore thumb among the bikers and small-town locals. Tall. Broad-shouldered. Curly golden hair. You could tell from just his profile that he was the most attractive man you’d ever seen. And then he looked over. Those blue eyes nearly stopped your heart when they met yours.

> You ordered a Jack and Coke at the bar and then snagged a nearby booth with your friend. He was still in sight, so you decided to sit with your back to him. It was better that way. He was definitely younger than you—close to a decade younger, by your guess. Good looks wouldn’t make up for that.

> But, unbeknownst to you, you’d caught his eye, too. You were nearly done with your first round when your friend smirked and said, “That hottie with the belt buckle has been watching you this whole time.” You flushed and glanced slyly over your shoulder. But, as discreet as you were, he still caught you. You turned back around. “He can’t be more than twenty-seven,” you dismissed as you downed the rest of your drink, trying to drown the butterflies in your stomach.

> You’d set the empty glass on the table and stood to get another drink, all-too-aware of his gaze on you as you crossed the room the bar. You tried to ignore it as you ordered another Jack and Coke. But it became impossible to ignore when, suddenly, he was right next to you. “Put it on my tab,” he told the bartender.

> You looked up at him, your heart thrumming in your chest. If he was handsome from afar, he was downright delicious up close. “You don’t have to do that,” you said to him. He nodded. “I know. But I want to.” He reached out a hand. “Adam,” he introduced himself. His palm felt rough as you slipped your hand into his. “[Y/N],” you reciprocated. And as soon as he smiled, your rule went out the window.

> You didn’t go home with your friend that night. It wasn’t like you at all to have a one-night stand, especially with such a younger man—but he was a man. You hadn’t felt pleasure like that in years. He’d filled you completely, gripping your hips to the point of bruising, your back arching and your voice growing hoarse from your cries.

> But then the morning came and cast everything in a new light. You were almost 38; he’d just turned 29. You were a divorced mother of two; he was a pro wrestler, for fuck’s sake. How would that work? It wouldn’t. It was a fun night, nothing more. It couldn’t be anything more.

> But you also couldn’t deny him. You went another round, your hands tangling in and tugging at his hair as his tongue teased you. He made you coffee and cooked you breakfast. And as you sat eating bacon and eggs in his kitchen, he asked if he could see you again.

> You gave him your number; you couldn’t stop yourself, even though you knew it wouldn’t go beyond that night. But as the days and weeks went by, you kept in touch. You talked almost every day. And you started falling for him. He was mature. Assertive. Decisive. And one day, he decided he wanted you to come to one of his shows.

> You flew to Florida by yourself. You knew next to nothing about that side of Adam other than what you’d seen on TV and online since you’d met him; and when you experienced it in person, it overwhelmed you. There was no way this could work. Sure, he was only going between Virginia and Florida now, but what about once the pandemic was over? He’d be on the road more often than not. It brought all your anxieties and fears to the surface. You should have stuck to your rule.

> He could tell something was wrong at the hotel that night. And when he asked you, you didn’t hold back. You were looking for a partner, for a father for your children, someone to make your family whole again… and you couldn’t ask that of him. You were just in different places in life, and there was no getting around it.

> But Adam wouldn’t settle for that. He asked you to give him a month. One month to prove that he could be what you needed, that it could work, that he wanted all the same things you wanted. Because when it all boiled down, you were what he wanted, all of you and everything that came with you. He’d show you if you just gave him a chance.

> So, despite your better judgement, you agreed. You gave him a month. And he proved it all. He proved age was just a number, that it could work between you, that he could and would be everything you needed and then some.

> That was six months ago. Now, you watch Dynamite every week with your kids. And you can’t help but smile as you watch them cheer on Hangman Adam Page, because you know that the next day he’ll be home with you.

 I’m  working  on  a  proper  docs  guide  to  my  Peter  Pan  &  Neverland  lore,  but  for  now,  because  I  want  to  get  it  roughly  explained  so  I  can  actually  focus  on  IC  content,  here  are  some  important  keynotes  to  my  portrayal  and  how  Peter  and  Neverland  should  be  understood  in  the  context  of  my  portrayal.          —  a  special  thanks  you  to  @darlingflight  for  the  world-building  support!

WHERE  IS  NEVERLAND  LOCATED:

 After  the  establishment  of  the  United  States  of  Auradon,  Neverland  was  unwillingly  bound  as  an  official  region.  However,  while  the  island  appears  and  being  found  off  the  eastern  coast  of  Auradon,  the  reality  is  much  different:  Neverland  appears  as  a  mirage  when  seen  from  the  coast.  If  you  try  to  set  sail  to  it,  you  won’t  find  it,  as  Neverland  is  still  somewhat  place  out  of  time  and  space.

WHAT  IS  THE  ISLAND  LIKE?

 Neverland  was  once  known  as  the  whimsical  island  children  would  visit  in  their  dreams.  It  lived  off  the  dreams  and  imagination  of  children  and  young  souls  who  still  dares  to  believe.  However,  after  the  establishment  of  Auradon,  a  shift  in  the  magic  of  the  island  happened,  and  the  island  changed  drastically.

 While  the  island  still  harbors  many  adventures,  those  who  travel  there  has  become  aware  of  a  looming  presence  of  danger.  Neverland  has  become  very  much  real,  and  most  children  no  longer  feel  safe  there  due  to  the  danger  of  it  all.  Only  those  brave  enough  dare  to  actually  set  foot  there  now.

HOW  DOES  TIME  WORK?

 To  protect  the  time  and  the  essence  of  Neverland,  the  island  created  a  barrier  around  itself;  a  barrier  that  enforces  the  shift  of  time  and  reality  that  takes  place  on  the  island.  Exactly  how  it  works  and  how  time  moves  differently,  no  one  really  knows,  but  it  is  evident  that  traveling  to  Neverland  is  a  risk  itself,  as  you  never  know  how  long  you’ll  be  there  or  how  long  you’ve  been  gone  if  you  return.  It  is,  however,  important  to  note  that  time  in  Neverland  does  not  stand  still  and  you  therefore  do  age  in  Neverland.  The  only  exception  to  this  rule  is  Peter  due  to  his  ties  to  the  island.

SO  DOES  THAT  MEAN  NEVERLAND  IS  ALIVE?

 Yes,  very  much  so.  At  some  point,  due  to  the  magic  and  the  imagination  of  children  which  continuously  changed  the  way  Neverland  behaved,  it  developed  a  consciousness  on  its  own.  As  the  island’s  consciousness  grew,  it  became  dependent  on  a  host  -  the  one  with  the  strongest  imagination  -  to  survive.  

HOW  DID  PETER  GET  INTO  THE  PICTURE?

 No  one  really  knows  how  or  when  Peter  found  his  way  to  Neverland.  Some  claim  he’s  always  been  a  part  of  the  island  while  others  claim  to  remember  a  time  before  the  boy  who  wouldn’t  grow  up.  However,  the  story  goes  that,  when  he  heard  his  parents  talk  about  what  he  were  to  become  when  he  grew  up,  he  ran  away  to  Kensington  Gardens.  His  desire  to  stay  forever  a  boy,  as  well  as  his  vivid  imagination,  drew  Neverland  to  him  and  that  is  when  the  Fairies  found  him  and  brought  him  there.

IS  PETER  TIED  TO  THE  ISLAND?

 Yes,  in  a  way  he  is.  Peter  has  become  the  host  and  physical  embodiment  of  Neverland  and  its  magic.  The  island  lives  on  his  dreams,  imagination  and  desire  to  grow  up,  and  in  return,  fills  Peter’s  life  with  endless  adventures.  As  so,  Peter’s  emotions  has  shown  to  also  affect  the  island,  even  down  to  the  changing  in  seasons  and  nature  depending  if  he’s  present  or  not.  The  magic  and  mystery  of  the  island  is  also  intentionally  drawing  curious  souls  to  the  island,  as  an  adventure  for  Peter,  to  keep  his  imagination  alive.  They  are  codependent  of  each  other,  and  for  such  reasons,  Peter  does  not  age.

WHAT  ABOUT  THE  BLACK  EYES?

 Peter’s  black  eyes?  They’re  the  physical  evidence  of  his  connection  to  the  island.  While  Neverland  isn’t  outright  evil,  it  is  a  living  thing  and  it  will  defend  itself  when  threatened  to  a  point  Peter  cannot  defend  it  on  his  own.    If  that  happens,  consciousness  of  Neverland  overtakes  Peter  in  order  to  defend  itself.  For  such  reasons,  Peter’s  connection  with  the  island  is  much  more  literal.

WHY  DID  NEVERLAND  CHANGE  SO  MUCH?

 As  Neverland  became  a  part  of  Auradon,  the  island  experienced  a  shift  in  magic  in  the  years  to  come,  primarily  due  to  the  repression  of  magic  that  happened  surrounding  the  island.  Within  a  relatively  short  time,  ‘good  magic’  stops  being  practiced  almost  entirely  in  Auradon,  the  only  magic  regularly  being  used,  is  weakened  (due  to  the  barrier)  and/or  used  maliciously.  The  flow  of  magic  became  off-balance  and  Neverland  started  reacting  accordingly  due  to  the  imbalance  and  the  need  to  protect  itself.

 More  so,  the  imagination  of  children  began  to  change.  While  the  island  is  dependent  of  Peter  as  its  host,  it  is  still  very  much  influenced  by  the  imagination  of  other  children.  Children  in  Auradon  stopped  dreaming  as  much  as  they  once  did,  and  they  began  growing  up  quicker  (i.e.  a  teenager  becoming  king,  teenagers  given  the  duty  to  convince  they’re  not  like  their  parents,  for  just  to  mention  a  few).  While  children  in  Auradon  stopped  believing,  children  of  the  Isle  of  the  Lost  dreamt  more  than  ever,  and  so  Neverland  began  latching  onto  their  nature  instead.  Neverland  began  forming  a  stronger  connection  with  the  Isle  Kids,  and  the  island  became  a  much  wilder  place  in  responce.

SO  HOW  OLD  IS  PETER  EVEN?

 No  one  knows.  However,  it  can  be  argued  that  Peter  appears  older  than  most  expected  as  a  reaction  to  the  shift  in  magic  and  the  children  in  Auradon  growing  up  much  faster.  While  he  no  longer  appears  a  small,  innocent  child,  his  imagination  is  still  as  strong  and  livid  as  it  always  has  been.

WHAT  ABOUT  THE  LOST  BOYS?

 Peter  and  his  Lost  Boys  are  some  of  the  few  permanent  residents  of  Neverland  beside  the  magical  creatures  that  inhabits  the  island.  They  usually  reside  in  their  secret  hideout  under  the  hangman’s  tree,  but  have  established  other  hideouts  in  the  trees  around  the  island.  There  is  always  a  place  for  one  more  amongst  them.

WHAT  HAPPENS  TO  THE  LOST  BOYS?

 Since  time  doesn’t  stand  still,  everyone  -  except  one  -  will  eventually  grow  up.  While  some  of  the  more  famous  Lost  Boys  (and  Girl)  has  found  a  life  and  a  future  outside  of  Neverland,  not  everyone  ends  up  that  lucky.  If  you  grow  too  old,  Peter  is  most  inclined  to  banish  you  from  the  island.  If  you  refuse  to  leave,  he  will  see  to  it  himself  that  you  cease  to  exist  on  the  isle.

BUT  WHAT  ABOUT  NEW  LOST  BOYS?  WHERE  DO  THEY  COME  FROM?

 At  some  point  after  the  establishment  of  Auradon,  King  Beast  made  a  deal  with  Peter  Pan  in  order  to  protect  the  children  of  Auradon.  In  order  to  keep  Peter  from  luring  children  away  with  him  to  Neverland,  he  allowed  Peter  free  passage  to  the  Isle  for  his  search  of  lost  souls  dreaming  of  adventures.  However,  most  children  disappear  without  a  trace  which  often  stirs  up  conflict  on  the  Isle  instead.

WHO  WOULD  WANT  TO  GO  TO  NEVERLAND?

 Those  who  believe  and  those  who  seek  adventure,  are  more  inclined  to  be  drawn  to  the  magic  and  the  mystery  of  the  isle.  It  is  the  home  of  innumerable  treasures  (the  most  sought  after  being  pixie-dust)  and  magical  creatures  (fairies,  pixies,  merpeople,  fawnes  and  creatures  of  the  Moors  just  to  mention  a  few)  most  in  Auradon  has  never  encountered  before.

IS  IT  TRUE  YOU  CAN  FLY  IN  NEVERLAND?  - added 21.02.12

Yes,  and  not  just  in  Neverland,  but  it  requires  the  use  of  Pixie  Dust.  While  the  magic  of  pixie  dust  is  stronger  when  you’re  closer  to  the  isle,  there’s  a  twist,  it  also  requires  happy  thoughts  -  thoughts  that  make  you  happy,  as  those  are  believed  to  make  you  feel  light  enough to fly  once  you’ve  been  covered  in  pixie  dust.  The  magical  properties  will  wear  off  in  time  however,  and  Peter  Pan  is  the  only  one  who’s  able  to  fly  without  it.  He  also  considers  himself  a  perfect  flyer,  in  case  you   wonder.

SO,  AFTER  ALL  OF  THIS,  HOW  DO  YOU  GET  THERE?

 It  is  very  hard  and  very  dangerous  to  cross  the  waters  in  search  of  Neverland  without  guidance.  This  guidance  usually  comes  from  Peter  himself  or  one  of  the  Neverland  fairies.  However,  as  time  progresses  and  more  and  more  people  visits  Neverland  (either  due  to  the  thrill  of  an  adventure  or  official  business  regarding  Auradon  and  Neverland  becoming  the  inhabitant  of  other  magical  creatures),  it  is  possible  to  find  Fairies  and  other  goodfolk  who  are  willing  to  guide  you  to  the  island  for  a  trade  or  payment.

The Christmas that Wasn’t-Ch. 12 Part 2

A/N: As always, written with the wonderful, beautiful life-partner bestie @mox-made-me-do-it​. 

Chapter 12 Part 2: Everyone (The Boys)

 Kenny

           I watched Leigh walk away with Allie and something snapped inside me. The brief glimpse of her in that shower was burned into my memory. And I felt my soul shrink just a little.

           “I knew it,” I said quietly, turning to see Adam standing a few feet away. “You owe me fifty bucks, Hangman.”

           He crossed the deck just as I sank down on the edge of the daybed. I thought about those quiet moments with Leigh—the kisses on the beach, the way she curled against me that night under the stars—and wondered how much of it had been real. If any of it had been.

           “I’ll pay you when we get back Stateside,” my friend said as he sat down beside me. “But I bet you that same fifty that you’re leaving here with that woman.”

           I glanced back up at the door and thought I saw her moving on the other side of the glass. My heart skipped a beat even as my stomach twisted in knots. “You… you saw that, too. I’m clearly not her type.”

           Adam smiled just a little and clapped his hand on my shoulder. He squeezed hard, his thumb digging into my collarbone, and gave me a shake. “Look, Ken, I really don’t think you need to worry about this. At all.”

           I dropped my head into my hands and sighed. “Am I insane?”

           He shook me again. “Dude, we’ve only known them two days. We have zero right to be possessive of them like that. We can’t begin to understand what they have.” I wanted to argue, to tell him how there was a horrible pain in my chest now. “Maybe you remember a certain guy who has the same effect on you?”

           Ibushi, I thought desperately. The loss of him was the reason I’d left Japan. God knew it had scarred me for a long time.

           “The last few days have been good for you, Ken. And I’ve seen how she looks at you,” Adam said confidently. “Take it for what it is. And enjoy it. Besides… if she comes out that door to go on some romantic boat ride with us, I think that says a lot, don’t you?”

           Before I could respond, the still air was filled with the sound of the boat as it slipped up to the girls’ swim dock. It was bigger than I’d pictured with an outboard motor and a pair of facing seats on each side. The captain waved at us from under a white canopy. The name of the boat was painted along the side in swirling ombre… The Tahitian Temptress.

           “Seems fitting, doesn’t it?” Adam said, nudging me to turn around. The girls had reappeared. Allie wore a flowing pale blue dress printed with passion flowers and orchids. I didn’t have to look to know that Hangman was eyeing the knee-high slit in the dress with interest.

           It was a good thing, because I couldn’t have looked away from Leigh Keene if I tried. Her dress was a deep plumb that swirled around her knees. The sleeves were just two strips that wrapped around her bicep near her elbow. The neckline swooped over her collarbones and up over her shoulders. And God help me, there was a cut out in the center of her dress that went from collarbones to the middle of her chest. It was a breathtaking view of her cleavage with a hint of the heather lace of her bra.

           Her red hair fell free over her shoulder, the shades of it catching in the sunset. I choked on my own breath. I’d never seen anyone as devastatingly beautiful as she was just then.

           “Kenny?” Oh shit, oh fuck, she’s so close. I want her but she doesn’t want me, does she? “Kenny, are you okay? You look… off.”

           “What? Uh, yeah,” I sputtered, cringing at the sound of my own voice. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m fine. Yeah.”

           Leigh looked up at me, brows raised, concern burned into her features. She tucked her hair behind her ear and settled her attention on the boat bobbing next to the swim dock. I watched her chest rise and fall with her breath. I saw the blush that ran over her cheeks. And suddenly, all I could think about was the briefest glimpse I’d caught of her in that shower. She slid her fingers over her cheek and back over her ear, tucking her hair away again. I watched her every move and tried not to picture other things.

           “Shall we, ladies?” Adam said, grinning at the three of us as he gestured toward the boat. “Can’t have our supper getting cold, now can we?”

           He settled his hand on the base of Allie’s spine possessively and guided her toward the boat bobbing by the swim dock. She grinned at him as they stepped onto the deck and took a seat. Allie dipped her head toward him and whispered something that made him laugh.

           I felt Leigh’s hand slip into mine, her fingers threading into the spaces between my own. It felt like being slammed into the mat flat on my back. All the air raced out of my lungs. My head stopped working. I looked at her, unmoving, unblinking. It reminded me of how I felt around Ibushi—only somehow a thousand times more electric.

           She looked at me with those mossy green eyes… eyes that suddenly looked sad. For a moment, I thought I felt her squeeze my hand. Then the warmth of her touch was gone, and she was stepping into the boat alone. I caught Allie’s frustrated gaze as I joined them. The only seat left was beside Leigh, but she seemed to make herself smaller when I sat next to her. That breathless feeling came back again, only this time it felt like a rib-cracking punch to the chest.

           I watched the water foam behind the boat as we skirted the outside edge of the resort toward along, glow sandbar. A white tent had been set up on the widest part of the little island, and I could see a table sitting near the water. Several people were waiting for us, including—at least it looked like it from a distance—Marco.

           The moment the Tahitian Temptress skimmed along the side of the sandbar two guys appeared with a wooden gangplank that hooked onto the side rail of the boat. Adam hopped up and balanced on the wood, reaching out toward the girls.

           “Let me give you a hand, Miss Keene,” he said. It was that molasses sweet voice he used when he wanted to play up the cowboy.

           Something uncomfortable snapped through me when I saw her give him a wide, bright, easy smile that made her blush. “Why thank you, sir,” she replied, playfulness and joy in her voice.

           Leigh stood on the sand, waiting while Hangman helped Allie down from the boat. Before she took his offered hand, she looked back at me. “Let’s you and me have a talk, Omega.”

           She said something quietly to Adam, who quickly hooked Leigh’s arm into his and smoothly guided her toward the tent. The moment I stood next to her, she grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to the other side of the sandbar, just out of earshot of Adam and Leigh.

           “Stop it right now,” she said firmly, crossing her arms. “I swear to God, Kenny Omega, if you break her heart and make her cry, I will personally punch you in the balls.”

           “I’m obviously not…”

           Allie waved her hand, shushing me before I could start and grabbed my wrist aggressively. “Yes, Leigh and I have a history. And, yes, it gets revisited from time to time. I know her, and I know that she wants you. But she shuts down easy. You don’t have anything to be jealous of, Kenny. But you have to trust her.”

           I looked back at where Adam and Leigh sat at a table made up for four. My friend leaned his elbows on the table, talking to Leigh with a warm and genuine grin. She angled her body toward him and laughed at whatever it was he was saying. Leigh radiated calm sitting next to Adam. She smiled, my heart pulsed, and I remembered…

           … I remembered what it was like to want someone, to crave someone, to love someone so desperately that it consumed me. It was everything I’d ever thought of feeling for Ibushi, and then more than I could ever have imagined. How could it have happened so quickly? So completely?

           The sound of Leigh’s laugh floated across the ocean breeze. In that moment, the want and the need to be next to her—to make her laugh and smile like that—was so strong that I couldn’t fight it. With one pleading, desperate glance at Allie, I turned away and walked toward where Adam and Leigh sat chatting beneath the white tent. My heart tore through my chest, pounding harder than ever before in my life.

           “Leigh,” I said the moment I stood beside her. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to pull her to her feet and kiss her. I wanted to disappear with her and tell her the truth of how I felt. But I couldn’t. Something held me back. The sadness that had bloomed in her eyes, the doubt she had in my sincerity… I took a deep breath and tried to smile. “You look beautiful tonight.”

Adam

 “Let me give you a hand, Miss Keene,” I said, pouring on the sweetness as I held out a hand for Leigh. As I helped her from the boat, I saw the look Allie gave Ken. Something told me that they were going to have a little talk.

“Why thank you, Sir,” Leigh replied. She had a smile that could light up any room. I held out my elbow for her to take as we set out towards the table. She tucked her hand into the crook of my arm like any good Southern girl. After a couple steps, she leaned in and whispered, “You may have to go save him. I saw that look too.”

Leigh laughed softly before looking down at her feet. "If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?” 

“Of course.” I gazed down at her as we made our way to the table. Her face was easy to read. “You really don't have to ask though. I've never seen the man that shook. He really likes you. Like a lot.”

She stopped and glanced back over her shoulder. I saw the way she looked at Kenny and I felt suddenly sad for them both.  “Seeing you and Allie threw him for a loop,” I explained. “I keep telling him to just relax, but he's worried he isn't your type. Don't worry, he overthinks everything.”

“Should he and I go for a walk and talk?” she asked, her voice small.

“Baby girl, you don't have to explain anything. Period. We have only known you ladies a couple of days,” I reassured, grinning. “I could never begin to understand what you two have. That's exactly what I told him, and I stand by that. And don’t worry. He will figure it out or I'll just woo both of ya!”

She giggled and I understood another reason why Kenny liked her so much. Her laugh was contagious. We walked beneath the white tent to find a beautiful table set for four. I held out a chair for her and plopped down next to her. We ordered drinks and talked while Allie and Ken made their way to the table. 

When they finally came over, I awkwardly jumped out of my seat to hold out a chair for Allie. When Kenny told her that she looked beautiful, I watched her blush. A sideways glance at Allie told me that Kenny had learned at least one lesson. He slipped into my vacated seat next to her. Their voices were soft as they talked quietly between themselves.

He was right. She really did look amazing in that dress, the way it blew in the breeze and hugged those beautiful curves 

           “Is everything ok, beautiful?” I asked Allie as she sat down.

           “Yeah,” she said with the most beautiful, breathtaking smile. “Everything is great.” But I could tell something was wrong. I’d would have to talk to her about it later. 

“Gentlemen, good evening. And who are these beautiful ladies with you tonight?” Marco beamed at the girls as he took each of their hands and kissed their knuckles. “Ms. Keene. Ms. Mason. You both are a vision to behold. And it seems the gentlemen have cleaned themselves up appropriately this evening.”

He turned and gave us an appraising look. When it seemed like we passed inspection, he turned back to Leigh and Allie. “Your gentlemen have taken the liberty of setting up a beautiful evening for you. Dinner will be served very shortly. We’ve prepared steak and lobster with bananas foster for dessert. You have your own personal wet bar with a bartender to prepare whatever you would like.”

Leigh and Allie grinned at each other and giggled. God they’re beautiful. A glance at Kenny told me he was thinking the same. He looked at Leigh like she’d hung the stars.

“Also, this evening after dinner, there will be a beautiful light show in the sky,” Marco continued. He was smooth. If I didn’t know better, it sounded like he was trying to convince them that Ken and I had set that up, too. “The meteor shower will be visible beginning at nine tonight. It will be a very clear night with no moon, so you should have an excellent view.”

Allie reached out and took Leigh’s hand, squeezing her fingers. From the corner of my eye, I saw Ken clench his fist. I kicked him under the table. “If there should be anything you require, please don't hesitate to let me know,” Marco offered before he bowed his head and backed away.

The bartender brought over a Diet Coke for Kenny and sat a bright red bubbly drink in front of Allie. I picked up my Jack and Coke and stood up. “Ladies—and Kenny—I would like to propose a toast.” They picked up their glasses and held them up. Allie was watching me with those eyes of hers and I felt my whole face turn red. “Here's to a beautiful vacation with friends. Both old and new. May the spirit of the islands guide us all. Cheers.”  

“Cheers!” they all said in unison as they clinked glasses across the table. A guy in a white jacket brought plates of perfectly cooked steak and lobster. The girls sort of collapsed against each other as they breathed in the scent of the food.

Kenny leaned on the table’s edge and talked with Leigh. Their conversation seemed to flow easier after he’d talked to Allie. Truth be told, I was proud of him for putting himself out there. After that whole thing with Ibushi, he hadn’t really let anyone see the real Kenny in a very long time. It made my romantic’s heart happy to see him want to try. And he couldn’t have picked a better woman to open up to. Leigh was one of the smartest, funniest, and most caring people I had ever met. She reminded me a little of me—getting a teaching degree and then just having her dream job kind of fall into her lap.

Then there was Allie. She was beautiful in ways that I couldn’t explain. There was something about her that turned me topsy-turvy. It was like the moment of freefall after a horse buck. Not caring about what happened before or what might happen next. Just amazing adrenaline. Her laugh was smoother than any whiskey and just as addictive. Her smile was dangerous, but with soft and sweet edges drove me insane. I’d seen her beautiful and writhing and I’d seen her ugly crying. But she was breathtaking no matter what.

By the time our plates were clean, one thing was clear. Once again, Marco was on point. Man, I hope the girls don't realize we have zero idea what's going on.

 “Oh my goodness, that was amazing. I don't think I could eat another bite if I tried,” Allie said as she placed her napkin on the table. 

Leigh used her fork to steal the last few bites of steak from her friend’s plate. “Can we take that chef home with us?”

           Kenny grinned. “I’ll see if I can hire him out for you.”

           She blushed and looked away. Allie grinned at Kenny. I took advantage of the fact that Ken and Leigh seemed to be getting themselves together.

“Well, darlin’, would you like to walk down the sand bar with me?” I asked, holding my hand out for her. “The stars will be out soon. And I’m sure we want to get a good spot for that meteor shower.” 

Her eyes lit up a beautiful golden color as she took my hand. She leaned in against my side as we strolled down the sandbar. Music spilled from somewhere on the shore, quiet enough that it faded into distance. Grinning, I held my arm up to spin her around. She twirled out in front of me, the skirt of her dress flying up around her hips. As she spun back in, I saw the light in her eyes fade.

I pulled her in close and tilted her chin, hoping she would look me in the eye. “You know, I'm not expecting anything from you, right?” 

           “No, I know. And I appreciate it, Adam. I'm trying really hard to just be in the moment in this fairy tale, but my reality is crumbling.” Her voice was low and sad. She didn’t look directly at me. “I feel like I should be devastated, but I'm just not. I'm almost… relieved it's over. You know?”

           She went quiet for a moment before she continued. “I’m sorry. I'm sure you don't want to hear about all of this.” 

“You're fine, darlin’. I just want you to have a good time this week. Seems like you need it.” I grinned sideways and ran a hand over my hair. “Whatever you want, we can do. Ken and I have literally no plans, so we can hang out the four of us. Nothing else has to happen. You don’t even have to be alone with me ever again.”

I hoped that my face didn’t show how much I thought that idea sucked. I glanced back to find Leigh and Kenny trailing behind us by a hundred yards or so. They were walking close together. I couldn’t tell if they were holding hands, but I hoped Ken had gotten the guts up to try.

“If you just want to hang with your girl, that's totally cool—not that you need our permission to do that. And, if after this week, you want to stay friends, I would like that very much. No expectations. Just friends.” I stopped in the sand and turned to look at her. The stars made her look ethereal. “But, for this week, I'm yours if you'll have me. Besides… the view with you two is so much prettier.”

Allie smiled a little and leaned against my side. Leigh and Ken closed the gap by half. I leaned in and whispered, “Don't make me spend the whole week alone with Kenny. I might actually go insane.”

           Her grin got wider, and she let out a happy laugh. It was a perfectly beautiful sound. It faded away as the first streak of light sped across the darkened sky. We stood in silence, watching the sky and the beautiful show the stars were putting on. I couldn't imagine a more perfect night. I pulled her close and sway to the music that filtered in from a distance. The words came easy as I sang the words quietly into her ear as I held her close.

I brushed my nose against her hair, breathing in the scent of her. I’d remember it no matter how far away we were.

Tag List

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whisper’s on auto-pilot. deacon notices immediately when her far off stare doesn’t return as the brotherhood airship disappears. and when she looks at him? it’s why he wears sunglasses. eyes are the windows to the soul, they used to say, and hers has left the building.

‘we have to see what that’s about, right?’ she asks with no particular inflection.

deacon shoves his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching out to her. he slips his fingers around a little curved piece of metal fused to the one piece of brain she left intact. that carnage she left in her wake - the smashed flesh and bone - he can still remember what that’s like.

maccready follows them down from the fort, but otherwise stays silent. kid doesn’t seem like he knows where to go or what to do, after what he’s seen. honestly, he’s surprised the kid hasn’t broken off back to goodneighbor. but he keeps an eye out, and it allows deacon to brush up next to whisper.

‘i figure, we’ve been through a lot together, right?’ he begins, and there’s that thousand yard stare again. she turns her gaze forward, makes a little noise for him to continue. ‘so, i think it’s time you learn the big secret.’

‘another one?’ she intones.

‘nah. the big secret.’ when she doesn’t inquire again, he continues. it’s almost not fun, but she’s his partner and he’s got to coax a little of her back from the edge. ‘everyone thinks desdemona is the leader of the railroad. hell, that’s how she introduced herself to you when you first stepped foot into our little home. but, see, that’s not entirely the truth.’

he pauses, allows her to soak it all in. but there’s no encouraging grin when she turns to look at him. at least in her eyes he sees go on when before it started with i can’t.

‘in fact, i’m the leader of the railroad. desdemona is there just to throw everyone off. more operational security, if you will.’

‘uh huh.’

‘really. when you stepped in, she was ready to have glory mow you down, and what a shame that would have been. but i step in, i say i vouch for you, and bam, here you are. part of my little squad i founded.’

‘you founded the railroad?’

‘not me by myself. there were three of us, johnny d and watts were the other two founders.’ it’s always strange, referring to himself in the third person. even when he’s talking to tourists, introducing himself as john doe. he tells so many lies, no one bats an eye when he’s actually telling the truth. ‘it’ll be... seventy years ago, now. something like that.’

whisper frowns in thought. after a moment, ‘you expect me to believe that you’re seventy years old?’ with a hint of amusement in her voice. there’s his girl.

he shrugs. ‘i did tell you i was old, just not how old. going under the knife helps me hide it.’ he looks to the sky and sighs wistfully. ‘we’ve done a lot of good since we started. saved a lot of synths.’ see, and this may be one of his favorite things about whisper. definitely in his top twenty - when he got to twenty he doesn’t know. but he can practically see the gears turning in her head. pinpoints the exact moment she knows it’s bullshit, but she lets him keep going.

and, hey, deacon’s no good at comfort, but he’s good at talking. ‘look, i firmly believe we’re the last line of defense between the institute and the commonwealth. and based on my last trip to the capital wasteland? maybe even the world.’

‘the minutemen are getting there,’ she mumbles defensively. ‘how is the railroad defending anyone?’

‘it’s not all about synths with the railroad. mostly synths, because who else is going to defend them, right? right?’ she shrugs and nods. ‘exactly. but more than that, we’re building a better, brighter commonwealth.’ here we go: ‘the railroad is the best,’ he hooks his arm around hers, ignores how she instinctively mirrors him, ‘noblest,’ he throws an arm in the air dramatically, ‘organization that’s ever lived. we’re-we’re - ’ he can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him.

‘- having way too much fun?’ whisper finishes for him. not laughing, but there is a smile fighting its way through. being in the railroad for so long, deacon knows how to accept the small victories.

‘you’re catching on too quick, partner.’ he sighs, leaning into her. ‘maybe it’s time i retire.’

‘seventy years? you’ve certainly hit your peak.’

he snorts and untangles himself, wipes away kellogg’s blood on his jeans. ‘i had a point there. really, i did.’

‘go ahead.’

‘you, of all people, should know that other organizations are going to spoon feed you their own bullshit.’ he knows garvey got her with the minutemen, and deacon is still cursing himself for pulling his tourist out of the area so early. but at least she didn’t fall in with the brotherhood. ‘instead, look at what they’re doing. what they’re asking you to do; what sort of world they’d have you build and how they’re gonna pay for it.’

she stares at him, frowning again. ‘give me your assessment, then. what’s your opinion of the other groups here?’

‘i’ll skip over the smaller players. i don’t see you becoming a raider any time soon, even though the railroad doesn’t pay that well. or at all.’ she gives him a quick huff of laughter and he has to physically restrain himself from fist pumping. ‘so, the minutemen. you know i approve of what you’re doing there, but the danger comes when they get too big. you can’t be everywhere at once.

‘the brotherhood is the railroad’s second biggest enemy. between their tech and the bigotry, they’re trouble, especially under elder maxson. and the institute... i don’t think i have to elaborate.’

‘you missed one,’ she says.

he blinks. ‘did i? know something i don’t know, pal?’

‘what about the railroad?’

ah. ‘didn’t you hear me earlier? the best and noblest - ’ whisper elbows him in the ribs. ‘ow. that was the bad rib. but, huh, okay. you know i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t trust them. didn’t believe what we’re doing is the right thing.’

‘i know.’

‘but - ’ there’s always a but. ‘ - i wish we’d help people, too. not just the synths. kind of feels like we’re ignoring one group for another.’

‘you’re spread thin enough as it is,’ she reasons. absolves him and them of guilt. she turns to him with a flicker of her old smile. ‘but that’s what you’ve got the minutemen on your side for. picking up your slack.’

he elbows her for that one. his partner is rude. but she’s talking to him, and it’s a step in the right direction.

-

whisper wants to go directly to the police station. deacon vetoes, erring on the side of caution that screams showing up coated in someone else’s blood isn’t a good idea. he doesn’t let her come with him to hq, either - he can’t give tom that little brain piece without her noticing. she’s been off in her own world the entire walk to diamond city, but she’s still perceptive. she noticed the caravan leaving hangman’s alley before he did. the minutemen certainly are building up quickly.

diamond city security eyes them warily, but danny sullivan recognizes whisper and allows them in.

‘go on ahead, partner, i just need to talk to maccready here for a minute.’ she shrugs and heads into the city, promising to meet him at the dugout inn.

maccready waits, arms crossed. ‘gonna tell me to leave?’

deacon laughs, low and fake. ‘i’m not your boss, kid.’ it strikes a nerve, but maccready hides it well. ‘i’m just wondering how long you’re going to stick around.’

maccready’s gaze shifts to the entrance. and that’s why deacon wears the sunglasses: they hide everything. especially when his own gaze follows. ‘she hasn’t told me to go - ’

‘great. then you’ll watch over her until i get back.’ he claps maccready on the shoulder. ‘thanks, pal.’

the kid just laughs at him, but heads into the city anyway. at least he knows his partner’s in good hands.

-

he all but runs back to hq, eager to get there and back. (to whisper, he thinks, but, if pressed, he’ll never admit.) desdemona doesn’t look surprised to see him waltz back in through the secret tunnel. her expression only changes when she notices he’s alone. see, he reasons, even desdemona notices her absence. it’s not just him. obviously.

‘deacon, have you heard anything about this air ship arriving in the commonwealth?’

deacon ducks around one of the support pillars, trying to find tinker tom. he’s not in his little corner, and there’s carrington giving deacon a dirty look but -

‘elder maxson’s brought his people here, full force,’ he tells des when she clears her throat. ‘whisper’s got a plan to get us up there, all official-like.’

‘speaking of,’ she inquires, ‘where is your partner?’

‘taking the night off in diamond city.’ where’d tom get to, anyway? it’s not like he goes outside. the institute is in the air they breathe up there, he’d say.

‘deacon.’ he stops in his tracks at what he dubs her mom voice. just not to her face. ‘if you’ve been running our newest agent into the ground - ’

‘we killed kellogg,’ he says with a shrug. like it’s an obvious thing. water’s wet, sky’s blue, kellogg’s dead. ‘so she’s taking the night off.’

desdemona blinks, stubs out her cigarette in an ashtray on her stone table. how they all haven’t suffocated from her smoking habits, deacon doesn’t know. ‘kellogg is dead?’

‘yep. and i’ve got this little thing here,’ he digs out the little biomechanical trinket from his pocket. ‘that might help us find where the institute is. but first i have to find out where tinker tom went to.’

tom, as if summoned, pops out from around a corner near the make-shift shooting range. ‘what’s up, dekes?’

‘i need to know if we can get anything off this thing. pulled it straight out of kellogg’s head.’

tom takes it out of his hands, holds it up reverently to the light. ‘i’ll clean it up. see what i can do. from kellogg, you said? oh, this will have tons of information, i know it. des, i’m getting started right away!’ he begins immediately, hooking it up to one of his computers. even carrington looks from him to tom to the piece of metal, muttering, from the brain?

deacon puts his hands on his hips and turns to desdemona with a grin. ‘our accommodating general has also agreed to let us station some agents in minutemen settlements. outpost zimonja especially.’

she shuffles through papers on her table, jotting down notes. ‘that’ll help us in moving synths out of the commonwealth.’ she hums, pleased. ‘well done, deacon. be sure to give my thanks to whisper as well.’

‘glad we brought her into the fold, now? or do you still think she’d be better off as a tourist?’

desdemona huffs and returns to her papers. ‘if i admitted you were correct every time you are, your ego would be worse than it is now.’ she casts him a side glance. ‘but she’s been a great asset. i heard about h2-22, and now kellogg? don’t you dare chase her off, deacon.’

‘wouldn’t think of it, boss.’

-

she finishes washing the blood off her hands, ignoring the stinging of soap in the cuts on her knuckles. if she thinks too much, she can still feel the give of his skull under the butt of the gun, the squelch of his flesh under her fists. whisper rubs harder.

in her room, rented by maccready after vadim recognized him, she undoes the buckles of her ruined combat armor. the splash of blood on her jeans isn’t so remarkable now that her hands are clean, and, besides, deacon’s the one with all the spare clothes. she sits on her bed and pulls her bag over and digs out a holotape from a separate pocket. whisper puts back the little piece of paper the flutters out in its wake.

what would nate think -

whisper loads the holotape, a little strip of clear tape peeks out, her husband’s lettering hi honey! visible, into her pipboy and presses play. immediately she hears the familiar chimes of a mobile. her hand goes to her mouth.

it’s a moment frozen in time, one she can almost see. on the tape, nate laughs and shaun coos, babbling nonsense. ‘just say it, right there. riiight there, go ahead.’ shaun coos again. baba, he says. m-ba.

whisper runs her hands through her hair.

‘i don’t think shaun and i need to tell you how great of a mother you are.’ she can hear the smile in his voice. the warmth. ‘but we’re going to anyway. aren’t we? you are kind, and loving, and funny. that’s right, and patient. so patient.’ he does something that makes shaun laugh again. ‘the amount of times you’ve kept her up late at night, little shaun. countless.’

‘look, with shaun and us all being home together, it’s been an amazing year, but even so, i know our best days are yet to come. there will be changes, sure, things we’ll need to adjust to. i’ll rejoin the civilian workforce.’ she knows how excited he was for that. ‘you’ll shake the dust off your law degree.’ it was on the wall before the bombs -

‘but everything we do, no matter how hard, we do it for our family.’

no matter how hard. she hiccups a laugh. ‘claire, i need help with this speech,’ he had said. ‘you know i’m not as good with words as you are.’

‘now say goodbye, shaun. bye bye,’ nate coaxes. ‘say bye bye.’

she can see him now, sitting on the couch next to their holotape player. he looks up to her, his blue eyes locking with hers, cheeks dimpling as she smiles at her. ‘bye, honey. we love you.’

the tape clicks off, leaving her alone in the silence. she sniffs and it’s deafeningly loud. she breathes, wipes her eyes, and stands. the holotape goes back into its pocket.

‘maccready,’ she says when she reaches him at the bar. ‘i need a drink.’

Survey #256

song lyrics here.

Would you date someone who still lived with their parents? Well considering I still live with my mother, I'd be quite the hypocrite if otherwise. Are you a generous person? I personally think so. Do you have a close relationship with your family? With my mom, extremely. Do you think there is life on other planets? Well, define "life," I suppose. Bacteria, stuff like that that science defines as life, yes. Complex life, I don't know. Would you enjoy a night of playing video games? Fuck yeah. Are you sexually attracted to any inanimate objects? ???? No. Would you watch a porno with your partner? UH NO I'm personally not at all interested in porn, and I feel it'd be awkward anyway? Have you ever stolen from your work? No. How much does intelligence turn you on? I guess like your average person that finds intelligence attractive. Do you ask someone out or wait for them to ask you? History shows it varies. Do you own any sex toys? No. Do you talk about your sex life with either of your parents? Well I don't have one now, but historically, I very timidly have with my mom about something. Generally though, I don't. I keep that very private. Do you search someone on the Internet before a first date? No. How often do you use Facebook at work? I'm unemployed. Do you enjoy television or movies better? That's hard, but maybe movies. I don't really watch either, but movies, when they have a good plot, are usually more enjoyable. Would you consider donating your body to science after you die? Sure thing. I personally want to donate my organs and have the rest cremated, though. Are you a romantic person? Yeah. Would you be okay with your partner hanging with their ex as friends? It would seriously depend on the depth of their relationship, where they're hanging out, how long... that kind of stuff. I am very serious about letting your partner have friends, including w/ the gender they're interested in, so I try to be open-minded here. Are you careful with your money? It's hard to even say with how seldom I have any. Do you like to be friends with someone before dating them? Absolutely. Do you like soccer? No. Is it more fun to go out just with your date or on a group date? Depends. I'd say I USUALLY prefer uhhh... single dates? How often do you go dancing/clubbing? Never. Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? Uh, no. Do you meditate? No. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. Is there anything you think science will never be able to explain? The soul. Do you cook fancy meals for dates? I don't cook. You don't want me to. Is intoxication ever an acceptable excuse for acting stupid? Fuck no. Do you believe in an afterlife? Probably. Do you litter? NO. Would you have sex with someone hot who you hated? nO????????????? Do you have a career plan? Kinda, but who knows when the fuck that's coming true. Do you mostly cook your own meals? Well, I mostly microwave stuff. I never use the stove or oven. Could you live with someone who was really messy? To a certain degree, no. Do you believe in fate or destiny? No. Have you ever had sex with someone you worked with? No. Would you date someone just for the sex? Nope. Have you ever had a one night stand? No. Have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you’ve had? No. Are sex and intimacy the same thing? "Sex is just one example of intimacy. There’s other ways to be intimate, including ones that don’t involve being sexual at all." <<<< Exactly this. Have you ever played strip poker? No. How often do you get angry? "I’m someone who gets irritated, moody, upset, and frustrated often, but not angry." <<<< Also this. Do you consider yourself an emotional person? VERY MUCH SO. Is work important to you? Considering how harshly I shit on myself for not having a job, most certainly. Have you had cosmetic surgery? No. On a first date do you pay or do they? In every experience but with Sara, they did. I only paid on Sara's and my first date out of trickery lmao. Do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students? No. Could you date someone who does drugs? Nope. Medical marijuana is fine, though. Have you ever been to a sex shop? No. Have you ever had a threesome? Nah. Do you enjoy discussing politics? Noooo. Would you do a striptease for your partner? WHOA I would feel WAY too awkward gd. Would you date someone who doesn’t have a car? Yeah. Is it wrong to watch porn if you’re in a relationship? That depends on the people in it. Some mind, some don't. Idk how I'd feel it if was my partner. Do you think men should pay for everything on dates? Hi, it's 2020. Women don't need to be "taken care of." Would you tie up a partner if they asked you to do so? Yeah. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Would you date someone twice your age? No. Should a child caught masturbating be punished? It'd be weird at a certain age, but no. It's normal to explore sexuality and what you like, and perhaps even more importantly, it's way better for you to let your sexual urges out privately versus... you know. Being forceful on others. Do you tell your friends you love them? Of course!! Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but I've always gotten kinda confused when (particularly good) friends don't. Love is platonic just as much as it is romantic, and you should let people know! Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I mean, I guess? What about hangman? It's more fun than the former. Did you play hopscotch when you were younger? Yeah. Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? I remember at least one. Do you have a yahoo account? It exists, but I haven't touched it in an eternity. I don't even remember the password. Are you a violent person? Definitely not. Do your siblings dye their hair? Not really. They occasionally get highlights, though. Do you still have any of your exes’ stuff? Besides gifted stuff, no. I think. Who can you best relate to in the last book you read? That I finished, Clay. Because he's dumb and hungry. Are you indecisive? Unbelievably. Do you collect anything? What? Meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. What are you listening to? An Emzotic video. I'm like,,, hooked on her stuff. I've been on a MASSIVE animals video binge lately, and she's a FUCKING MOOD. What was the last compliment someone gave you? Idr. What are your pets’ names? Roman and Venus. Gah, I need more bbz. What did your first best friend look like? Last I've seen a picture of her, she was a somewhat bigger person with long, curly brown hair, and she's always been very tan. Did you have a role model growing up? Steve Irwin. If you could learn how to play one instrument, what would it be? Guitar. Is your best friend dating anyone? Do you like them? No. Do you want to move? Very badly, and we probably are soon. Do you have a big family? My extended family is giant. Do you want more or less siblings? I'm happy with what I have. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Great contentment in all I do. Surrounded by love, changing the world in even tiny ways, etc. What is the trait you most deplore (dislike) in yourself? I realized it semi-recently and honestly don't want to share it. Only my old therapist knows, I think. Besides that one, the fact I'm very impulsive with words when I'm upset, probably. What is your greatest extravagance? I'm really creative and passionate. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Probably the glorification of virginity. I would know. It was a MASSIVE DEAL for most of my teenage years. On what occasion do you lie? When it's a thing where I feel it's just better to not be honest. Now I honor honesty a lot, so I avoid it as much as possible, but no, I don't believe it's always the best policy. What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. Which living person do you most despise? I don't know about one specific person. The traumatized part of me says Jason's friend that encouraged him to break up with me, but I know I rightfully shouldn't even dislike him, save for the fact he was pretty arrogant. What or who is the greatest love of your life? I don't know. When and where were you the happiest? Well, it depends. If you mean in a specific moment of most intense happiness, lots of times with Jason. An extended period of happiness, early into recovery when I lived with Colleen. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Recovering from the breakup. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A house cat. Seems like a pretty good life. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? At least from my experiences, harsh rejection when you try your best to please that person. What do you value most in your friends? As far as a sweeping characteristic they all share, the will to listen and just be there for me in times I really need companionship. Who are your favorite writers? I don't really have favorites. Who is your hero of fiction? Hm, I dunno. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Uhhhh I also don't really know. I'm not enough of a history buff for this. Who are your heroes in real life? I answer this enough. What are your favorite names? Alessandra and Severin. Do you like watching reruns? No. What do you think is worth waiting for? Deep relationships. Should parenting classes be mandatory for new parents? No. What is the number one thing people are always asking you for help with? English/writing. What movie did you love the original but hated the sequel to? I remember the Ghost Rider sequel was nothing compared to the original. It was okay, but. Are you more talk and less action or vice versa? More talk. Have you ever given someone a handmade present? Yeah, especially as a kid. What type of person angers you the most? Probably those who can't put their pride aside for anything. What do you think should be a wonder of the world that currently isn’t? I don't even know what they all are to get a proper grasp on the question. What comforts you on bad days? My mom and Sara, sleep, YouTube, sometimes regrettably food, etc. Do you treat yourself and your body with respect? Not very well. Something you eat that other people would find gross. *shrugs* Nothing that's too weird. Have you ever broken the law and didn’t get caught, if so how? Yeah, and obviously by not screaming it to the world, but also because none are massive. Something you fear might change you. The aftermath of heartbreak. It still affects me today and makes me see less hope in love. What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you? Volatility. Have you ever resented someone, if so what for? "Stealing" Jason, and the other person for accusing me something of so fucking selfish and vile I don't even like saying it, especially when she was my damn therapist that I loved and trusted. How old do you think is too old to have a baby? "Old enough that getting pregnant would cause significant harm to you or the baby." <<<< How have you changed over the last five years? I've definitely become wiser and more open-minded. Have you ever painted a house? Nope. Have you ever had a surprise party (that was an actual surprise)? No. What makes you feel miserable? Eating badly (particularly too much sugar makes me feel shitty), doing nothing/extended boredom. What’s the best costume you’ve ever worn? Don't have a clue. What’s been the hardest loss you’ve had to take? Jason. A loss without actual death is, wow, awful. I mean death is too, but holy shit it hurts when that person chooses to leave you. Do you like sunny days or rainy days more? Depends on the temperature and my mood. Who is your favorite movie director and what’s your favorite movie from them? Tim Burton, of course. Alice In Wonderland. What is the furthest you’ve ever got a paper airplane to fly? Not very far. Nothing impressive. Do you like the person you are becoming? It depends on the context. Honestly, by this point, not really. What’s the highest you’ve ever jumped into the water from? Not high at all. What inspires your ideas? More than anything, music. Just a single lyric, sometimes one word, spawns a sometimes very complex concept. Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? No. Have you ever bolstered your resume to get a job you really wanted? No. I have a really, really hard time lying for a job. Have you ever had an internship, if not what would be your dream intern job? No. Do you prefer chicken, beef, or seafood? Chicken. Have you ever had a health scare? Yes. What do or did you hate the most about dating or the dating process? Opening up again. What do you frown upon when it comes to raising kids? Spanking. Have you ever been professionally photographed? Yeah. Do you influence people more than they influence you? I very much doubt that. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, what would you ask? If he regrets me. Do you buy anything organic, if so, what is it? I don't think so? What was the name of the first album you ever bought and who was it by? I believe it was You're Awful, I Love You by Ludo. Do you have any prejudices you’ve admitted to yourself? No. Who is the very first friend you ever remember making and how old were you? Brianna; I was two. What makes you lose sleep? Stress. Anxiety. PTSD. Do you floss or use a toothpick when food gets stuck in your teeth? I floss. Have you ever made out in a bathroom? Pretty sure that's a negative. Ever physically fought with member of the opposite sex? YIKES no. Well, besides playfighting. Ever walked in on your friends having sex? No. Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No. Has anyone ever called cops on you? No. Do you swallow gum when you’re finished? Noooo that's so uncomf. Ever tackled someone to the ground? Not in a way that was a harsh fall. More like a crumbling to the floor. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Hm. Maybe in the school library, but I doubt that, really. I don't think I ever actually fell asleep. Did the last person you kiss have piercings? No. Did your parents spoil you as a child? No. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning? No. Ever thrown up in public? Yes. Has anyone laid on your bed besides you? Yes. What bothers you more, when people lie or when people complain? Depends on the severity. I think lying is more hurtful, though. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? Three. Who took your profile picture on Facebook? Me. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? More towards the left. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of? Yeah. I'd consider their reasonings, of course, but it's my decision.

Hope is the Thing with Feathers: 4/5

This fic was created with the help of @hollyethecurious and seems to keep growing . . . must be because it started as a birthday fic for @kmomof4 You know we love you though, Krystal! Story banner by @hollyethecurious

Summary: Emma and her son Henry move to the quirky town of Hopeful, Maine for a fresh start. Emma isn’t expecting her son to become obsessed with a haunted castle or for her to get involved with the handsome, mysterious man who lives in the cabin behind it. Emma soon finds that both the castle and the man have secrets that she never could have imagined.

Rating: M for steamy/not smutty times

Trigger Warning; Positive portrayal of past Millian/Milah

Words in this chapter: 1,600

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  Chapter Four: Abash the Little Bird

Emma couldn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning as she remembered Killian’s hurt expression as she’d left him standing by the cliffside. She’d told him twice that she trusted him, yet when it really counted, she had jumped immediately to thinking the worst of him. Just before dawn, Emma threw the covers back, frustrated with her inability to settle down. She threw on a pair of sweats, then slipped out of her and Henry’s room at the inn. With all the work on Gold Manor, she still hadn’t gotten around to finding a realtor to look at listings.

She walked through the quiet town, amazed to find that even on Main Street, you could hear the sea. She wasn’t the least bit frightened at being out before the sun, time in her youth of living on the streets having hardened her. She did, however, remain on the alert. Some habits never left you.

Emma didn’t have a plan when she left the inn, but suddenly she knew exactly where she wanted to go. She turned around and headed back to her bug parked behind the inn. She winced when the engine revved to life; hopefully she hadn’t awakened anyone, especially Henry. She headed down Main Street, passing the dark post office as she made her way towards the town line. She passed Hangman’s Way, then the front of the Gold Estate. She glanced that way, wondering if Killian was having as restless a night as she was.

Finally, she turned off the road and into the tiny parking area beside the Hopeful Primitive Baptist Church. According to David and Mary Margaret, it too had been abandoned for years. Most people now worshipped at the large Catholic Church downtown where a cloister of nuns served the community.

It wasn’t the church, however, that she was here for. She exited her bug and made her way towards the tiny plot of graves behind the church. The wrought iron fence was falling down, and the weeds grew so high that you could hardly make out the headstones. Emma tapped the flashlight app on her phone and shone the beam over the tombs. She had probably lost her mind deciding to come out here in the dark.

The grave she sought was near the tree line. The tombstone had sunken into the ground over the years and tilted sideways. The letters carved into the stone had been worn away almost completely over several centuries. All Emma could make out was: M i h G d 166 - 693. But she knew what it said: Milah Gold, then beneath it 1661-1693.

“Hi,” Emma said, setting her phone down on the ground at her feet so its beam would illuminate the tombstone. Emma shuffled her feet, suddenly feeling very silly. “Yeah, so I’m out here like a crazy person talking to the dead ex of the guy I’m sleeping with. Oh God, that was an awful way to break it to you . . . “

NIce, Emma like she’s gonna answer you back.

“But Killian, he uh, he’s doing well,” she tucked her arms across her chest. What was she even doing here.? “I guess I just wanted to say that you had it great, you know? A guy who could have sailed off and never looked back . . . instead, he kept finding reasons to see you again, kept looking up at that cliff, hoping you’d be there waiting. How could I have doubted him, a guy like that? I mean, did you wonder? While you were there on that cliff? Were you afraid you would never see him again? That you risked your heart for nothing?”

Emma paused again, kicking at a pebble at her feet. “I couldn’t sleep because I felt so awful about how I left him yesterday. We had just made love -” Emma suddenly stopped and cringed. “You probably don’t want to hear about that.”

“She’d probably say it’s about damn time, Killian, I’ve been dead for three hundred years.”

Emma spun towards his voice, jumping a foot in the air. “Killian, what the hell? You don’t sneak up on people in a graveyard!”

He chuckled, but stayed where he was, shadowed in the trees. “Most people aren’t in a graveyard at four in the morning, Swan.”

She rolled her eyes, even though she wasn’t sure he could see her. “And you don’t expect me to believe you’ve been celibate for three hundred years, do you?”

“Well no, but,“ he started out with humor tinging his voice, but then it lowered an octave, “I wasn’t referring to just sex.”

Emma was glad for the darkness as a blush heated her face.

“I would come and wrap my arms around you, but I’m afraid this is as far as the curse will allow me to come,” he explained as the silence stretched between them.

It was all Emma needed to hear. She sprinted towards him, tripping over the root of a tree, and reaching him just in time for him to catch her as she pitched forward. Even as they awkwardly regained their balance, Emma threw her arms around his neck and dove in for a kiss. But it was so dark, she missed his lips. She didn’t let it stop her, peppering his face with more kisses as he laughed. Finally, their lips connected, and he pulled her closer, his fingers entangling in her messy ponytail.

“I’m sorry about how I took off,” she told him when he pulled away.

“You’re forgiven,” he assured her, “and I hope you know I don’t see you as a mere means to an end.”

She cupped his face in her hands, and at that moment the first hint of dawn illuminated his eyes. “I know that. Somehow, I’ve always trusted you. It’s just . . . running is my habit. Even when I was a kid, it’s just what I did. Henry’s dad actually told me once that home is a place where when you leave, you just miss it. So I guess I kept running, hoping to feel that, but I never did. Even now, as an adult, I keep running, but now from people. Except Henry.”

“Home isn’t a place, love,” Killian said gently, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Exactly,” Emma agreed, “Henry has always been my home, but tonight as I tossed and turned, I realized something. It sounds crazy, but . . . I just missed you. I wanted to turn the clock back and change how I left, but not just because my words hurt you.” She shrugged. “I just want to be with you.”

His smile widened. “And I want to be with you.”

He bent and kissed her again, and she smiled against his lips. ”Is it weird that I was talking to her? To Milah?”

“No,” he said, “brushing his nose with hers. The funniest part is, I was coming to talk to her, too. About you.”

“You think she likes me? Or is she gonna start haunting me now?”

“I think,” he said, thumbing her chin, “that the two of you understand one another.”

*****************************************************

“So, what do I do to break this curse?”

Belle looked up from the computer at the library’s front desk, her eyebrows lifted almost to her hairline. Emma shuffled and bit her lip. So she didn’t do subtle, okay? She handed Belle the other to-go cup she was holding.

“Earl grey tea with milk? They said that’s your regular order.”

Belle smiled as she took it. “If this is bribery, I accept.” She took a sip. “I was running late this morning and had to skip stopping by the Leaf & Bean.”

Emma grinned back as she reached for the pastry box under her arm. “I also brought bear claws.”

Belle cocked her head as she rose from behind the counter and came around to the front. “Okay then, now that we have sustenance, let me show you what I found.”

Emma followed her through the stacks to the table in the back corner of the room. Old books with cracked leather covers were stacked there along with piles of yellowed documents, some inside plastic sleeves. Belle set her tea down carefully on a small wheeled cart at her elbow, and Emma followed suit. It didn’t take a genius to know the items were of great historical value. It wouldn’t endear Emma to her new town if she ruined these documents with spilled coffee and vanilla glaze.

“I finally made the connection in this book of ancient legends,” Belle explained as she thumbed through a thick volume. She opened to a wrinkled, brown-stained page.

Emma’s brow furrowed; the writing indecipherable in her eyes. “You’re going to have to translate all this Belle, I’m lost.”

“It’s in an extinct Celtic language,” Belle laughed, “and I had to get a friend from university to translate it for me. Anyway, it’s legends about birds.”

Emma leaned closer. “Killian said you thought my name being Swan was important. He also said cardinals represent freedom?”

“That’s right,” Belle said animatedly, “but Killian didn’t fully understand what kind of freedom. Legend says that every red cardinal is the soul of a person who has died.”

Emma snapped her finger as she remembered something. “I had an elderly foster mother once who said her husband was visiting her every time she saw a cardinal. I just thought she was crazy.”

Belle nodded. “That’s right. I mean, well, I don’t know if it was really that woman’s husband, but that’s what the legend is. The thing is, Killian wasn’t dead when he cast that spell -”

“- so his soul is trapped,” Emma finished, finally realizing where all this was going. She shook her head. “But where does the swan come in?”

“While cardinals represent freedom of the soul, swans represent souls tied together.”

“You mean soul mates?”

“Exactly.” Belle searched through her books again and pulled out a slimmer volume. She opened to yet another page that looked like an alien language to Emma.

“Some extinct Celtic stuff again?” Emma quipped.

“No, Latin,” Belle said, barely pausing for breath, “anyways, I tried re-casting Killian’s original spell, substituting a swan feather for a cardinal feather, but it didn’t work. Then after meeting you, I remembered reading this: Swan in woman’s form, injustice to right, the enslaved to free.”

Belle’s eyes were bright as she locked them with Emma’s.

“What? Like a savior?” Emma stammered, her cheeks heating.

“In a way,” Belle said softly. “He needs to be free of this curse, Emma. I think all you have to do is recite the incantation on the anniversary of when Killian first cast it – Halloween at midnight.”

Emma swallowed hard, her tongue wetting her suddenly dry lips. “And what if you’re wrong? What if it doesn’t work?”

Belle closed the book and hugged it to her chest. The smile fell from her lips. “What does he have to lose?”

Emma’s eyes darted away from the brunette’s earnest expression. “What will happen when he’s free?”

Belle’s answer made Emma’s blood run cold.

“I imagine he will be free to join her. After three hundred years, he will finally pass on and be with Milah again.”

Episode analysis & review: Outlander season 4, episode 1

Hi guys! Just like last season, I’m going to post an episode analysis & review for every episode of season 4, hopefully on Sunday nights. So happy Droughtlander is over! :)

Things I loved

First of all, I love a script with a clear outline, great dialogues and the clever connection between beginning and end. This episode delivers in all these regards. It has an obvious theme that is introduced right in the beginning: circles. Stone circles, which represent time travel; the hangman’s noose, that sets all the following events in motion; death and the announcement of new life; Jamie and Claire’s eternal love (made me think of @gotham-ruaidh’s endless loop theory); weddings bands. America The Beautiful starts off with a circle, addresses circles throughout the ep and ends with one.

The opening scene with the ritual: Not only does it highlight the ancient meaning of stone circles to human culture and prepare the viewer for the realization that time travel is also a phenomenon in America and that it might continue to affect the Frasers, but it also shows that the natives have been there for over 3700 years. Their fate is addressed several times in this episode, and I think that’s so important.

The Gaelic song (I’m guessing it’s a farewell song?) that Leslie and Jamie sing for Hayes, before everyone in the tavern joins in – what a beautiful way to highlight the bond between the men, and also to show how many Scots made their way to America, sharing a cultural heritage and finally being able to live it openly again. Wonderful scene.

What I absolutely loved is that they chose to address Ian’s trauma. Geillis raped him, and Jamie understands what he’s going through. Ian trusts him enough to share his terrible memories with him. Just like Jamie at the end of season 1, what Ian is struggling with the most is the fact that he did something he didn’t want to do, yet all the while “it felt pleasing”. He feels betrayed by his own body. Jamie’s line “What it comes down to is that your cock doesna have a conscience, but you have. It’s not your fault, lad. You did what you must. You survived. And that’s all that matters.” nails it. He could only arrive at that stage of acceptance with Claire’s help, someone who loved him unconditionally. Jamie becomes that person for Ian. His comfort, and the knowledge between the two of them that they share this trauma, this burden, is everything.

Jamie and Claire’s little reassuring gestures – with the touch of a hand, for example at the execution, or with words, like when Claire is unsure about her appearance before the dinner with the governor. They are so committed to one another, so in love, so endlessly supportive and stronger because of each other. LOVING IT. Exactly what I want to see!

“Do ye no see how small a thing death is between us?” I feel like that line perfectly defines Jamie and Claire’s relationship. Their love and bond are undying – even if they have to bridge 200 years. Their souls are inseparable – even in death.

The intimate scene between Jamie and Claire in this episode is so much more intimate than others, in a way. It’s like the physical continuation of the verbal conversation they had beforehand – in which they basically pledged their souls to one another, for eternity. And they seal it with the union of their bodies.

I LOVE seeing Jamie and Claire discussing politics and decisions about their future again. They were such a power couple back in the day, mingling their respective life experience and skills, discussing and plotting their way through the French court and the Scottish clan system. Now they’re finally back doing exactly that and I’m LIVING for it!!

“This becomes Bree-annah’s country, does it not? […] If there’s a bit I can do to make this a good land for Bree-annah, if my presence here now can be felt by her later, then…then that would be something.”, Jamie says with tears in his eyes. Thinking this is his only chance to have the slightest impact on his daughter’s life, the only way to protect her from harm and give her a good life. The only way for him to form a palpable connection to her. Ugh, I’m crying again. Kudos to Sam for delivering these lines in such an amazing, heartwarming and heartbreaking way at the same time.

Jamie’s gift to Claire and the conversation that follows. Absolutely STUNNING. He gets her. Frank was never supportive of her career, always unable to understand her passion for medicine. For healing. Jamie, on the other hand, knows, respects and supports her, every step of the way. The box is the perfect gift from a loving, devoted husband to his wife, whom he sees as his equal and as someone who deserves every bit of love and respect. And that guy thinks he hasn’t given her enough material things. Silly man.

Rollo!!! Ian!!! No words needed.

Another change from the book that I strongly support is that Fergus and Marsali play a larger role here. We get to witness them announcing Marsali’s pregnancy to the whole family, and how everyone is celebrating. It’s lovely to see Jamie being over the moon at the news. Fergus is his (adopted) son after all, so his children will be Jamie’s grandchildren. Of course he’s happy and proud. I always felt it wasn’t quite right to leave this moment out in the book. Glad to see it on screen!

Bonnet’s attack: I think we all agree that it causes physical pain to watch. Claire has to give up Jamie’s ring (about which she had just said “This ring is all I need”), despite her efforts to save it. It tore my heart into pieces!!!!!! We’d known for a while that it would be Jamie’s ring Bonnet steals, but nothing could have prepared me for seeing it. Caitriona’s acting performance in this scene – absolute, pure pain – was phenomenal, even without sound. Which leads me to the first point in the next list…

Things I didn’t love as much

I agree with @ciamarathathu‘s assessment that the song that was playing during that last scene was distracting. I realize that it’s America The Beautiful and therefore fits well with the ep title, and the irony between the lyrics and that violent scene isn’t lost on me either. But I can’t help but feel that I would have liked the scene better with the fighting sounds. It’s an instrument to “break” the scene, to pull the viewer out of it while adding another emotional layer to pull them closer at the same time. It worked very well with the Jazz bits in the first few eps of season 1, where Claire’s 20th century mindset is colliding with life in an 18th century castle. It also worked perfectly (!!!) well at the end of S3E4, when Jamie is leaving Willie and we hear a version of Bob Dylan’s “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall” (“Where have you been, my blue-eyed son, where have you been, my darling young one?” Ugh, I need a tissue!!). It’s a total tear-jerker and makes you weep for Jamie, realizing what kind of impact this moment has on him, even though the scene gets broken by the 20th century music. This time, though…sigh, it only pulled me out of it, to be honest.

Where’s Duncan?

Is it me or is the CGI pretty bad?

In summary:

“America The Beautiful” is a worthy premiere episode for this new season. The focus is on Jamie and Claire and their solid, loving, supportive partnership, which is everything we could have hoped for. The well thought-out script also explores the novelty of this new land in various interesting ways and addresses important topics. Tender and hopeful moments take turns with tragedy, violence and grief. And it ends with a bang. Add all of that to great acting performances all around, and you get quality entertainment - I want more, right now (quelle surprise). In short: Is it next Sunday yet?

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½ out of 5.

sooo.... what’s the tea on the new ep? :)

**spoilers for family in flames**

I have so much to say I’m not drafting this on tumblr lest it crash and I lose a soul-crushing amount of yelling into the void.

And, I gotta say, THIS episode is the reason I haven’t posted my adult rankings list yet. THIS RIGHT HERE. I KNEW some crap was gonna go down and force me to make some HUGE adjustments.

Also, We are feeling vindicated in this house today! But let’s start from the top and work our way down.

“Raise your hands if you really care about your parents.”

Fabian having to be like, “Look, your parents suck but don’t you have siblings?” (Kristen: Ugh, I guess)

Adaine pointing out that she cares about Gorgug’s parents.

Brennan listening to them argue about what to do like he doesn’t know they’re about to be arrested for a whole ass MONTH.

Fig wanting to method act while texting the phone, pretending to be scared.

So is the arcade owner (Frank Dunford) relevant? Brennan had the name on hand. But maybe it was just him being a good worldbuilder and anticipating the question. I feel like it’s probably that because this is late in the game to be introducing new people who are super relevant.

“Gilear’s got a little knife”

I KNEW those arcade prizes were gonna be gear they could pick up! ALWAYS RAID THE ROOM. Some of that stuff might have helped in the fight. I loved the group silently reading the cards and exchanging them to whoever they thought it would help most in the background as Brennan did the ID spell.

“This has been, if I may say so, the *best* use of the identify spell.”

I love that Adaine thanks everyone, including her inanimate spells. She’s just a good person.

OK so this episode addressed a LOT of questions I had about how these literal children were getting away with all of these murders and such. Apparently, the adventuring academy kids traditionally just get away with this stuff because of Arthur’s influence and the nature of adventurers.

Adaine coming in hot with the diplomatic immunity and then remembering, oh wait, we’re at war w/ Falinel.

Fig immediately starting smoking when she gets arrested.

I love the federal agent outsider with perspective coming in and being rightfully horrified by the absolute nonsense that’s been going on the past 15 episodes.

Is Riz’s mom the only competent cop at this station? Is there a one competent adult per location rule?

Bill Seacaster Upon Learning the Bad Kids are In Jail: Did you try to escape?

“How are things going?”/“I mean bad. I’m in jail.”

Fig upon offhandedly and indirectly being called a vigilante by Sklonda: Thank you.

Emily loses it whenever anything happens in Gilear’s orbit.

Wild that Adaine decided to spontaneously call Goldenhoard considering what happened later. Like, it wasn’t a completely out of nowhere decision and it was totally logical but they could have easily overlooked that decision. 

Like, I know things happen later that make this kinda moot but I loved Goldenhoard’s conversation with Adaine in jail. “Don’t to talk to anyone without a lawyer and kill anyone you have to to get out. The school will pay for the rezzes.”/“That’s exactly what our plan was. God, I love this school.”

Although, sidenote, I feel like you can only easily rez someone within a minute? Like, I know there are other D&D spells that let you do it after a longer period of time but with the whole phoenix egg thing and the fact that they haven’t come up so far, I feel like Brennan isn’t using the in this setting for stakes reasons.

Man that whole conversation with Fig and her mom. Emily plays Fig so balls to the wall that I kinda forget sometimes that she’s actually an intelligent adult woman who knows what she’s doing with the character so I really shouldn’t be surprised with how well she stuck the emotional beats of this episode.

Gorthalax man! TyraWeWereAllRootingForYou.gif If he left, like, actually left and isn’t just held up somehow, then that’s gonna be really not great for Fig’s general psyche. 

Kristen COMPLETELY undercutting the moment by point blank asking if they had sex.

No wonder Sandra-Lynn was so worried about Fig. She was totally Fig growing up. Which, lol, she’s not even half tiefling. She was just *like that*

Oh so Gilear has always been super lame. Good to know.

Fig: I think I have mommy issues./The Rest of the Party: You have all the issues.

Fabian: You’re trying to hook up with a 25 year old adult./Fig: What do you mean trying?I’m successfully kissing him once every couple weeks. (Which, lol but also I’m glad that’s as far as it got…you know if it has to go any amount forward).

They just let Bill into the cell?????

Lou when Zac rolls a 1 for perception on Bill Secaster and he knows what’s coming: Don’t fucking do this. (Everyone else: Already trying not to lose it)

Zac’s Gorgug being contemplative and also completely wrong face is so funny to me every time.

“Why would you kill me?”/“Why would you know that?”

Who is more insane? Gorgug for suggesting him and Fabian could be twins (aren’t they different ages????) or Bill for thinking he’s so awesome he could somehow do that?

Kristen trying to help FIg distract Bill by blurting out, “Have you ever had sex?” After the conversation where he said point blank he’s slept with 100s of orc women. 

Fabian yelling at his dad is kinda undercut by continuing to call him papa in the most poncy accent.

I don’t think I’ve articulated this properly before but this episode really drove it home: Fabian and Bill have a *close* relationship but not an entirely healthy one. Like, better than Adaine and her parents by leaps and bounds but he wrestled his son in a jail cell while his friends just watched. Like, who does that?

Imagine if Riz had tried to get between Bill and Fabian. 

Also imagine being the rest of the party just sitting there, watching that go down.

“We’ve spent so much of our lives obsessed with our dads and we’ve completely ignored our moms.”/“You’re just again talking about yourself.”

I can’t believe Fig’s suggestion spell would have worked if head boss in charge fed lady hadn’t been there. Speaking of her, as soon as she showed up I knew they weren’t going to be able to shenanigan their way out of this one (which is literally the word Emily used, hilariously). I don’t think even a nat 20 would have gotten them very far. Remember last week when I said that I was sure there was going to be a prom finale but I was also pretty sure there was still a good chunk of time before prom? As soon as they got arrested and the feds showed up I was like, “Oh they are not getting out until prom for sure.”

Siobhan trying not to laugh while Emily tries a ridiculous plan that might have worked in a different episode honestly.

Ally trying to Pirates of the Carribean her way out of the jail cell.

The cops didn’t even take their stuff in a month!

“I’m glad this is in my head and no one else can hear things like this.”

I love how Fabian rolls his eyes at Adaine for thanking her spells but he always thanks the Hangman.

Realistically the Hangman would have told Fabian the plan before it happened but the way it played out was soooo good.

The return of Mr. Cubby!!!! I was hoping it would be him but man! It was still so awesome to see happen. I wonder if Brennan introduced that family specifically in case the group ever needed to be busted out of jail (a likely need).

“Laws are threats made by the dominant socioeconomic ethnic group of a given nation.”

“You guys wanna make some bacon?”

“That was on fire the whole time? You’re so brave!” Adaine likes adults who aren’t her parents so much.

Riz being like uhhhhh my mom works here.

“To the AV club!”/“It’s been months!”

OK so they took a palimpsest from Bill in this episode. That was there to tip them off that he’s up to something I’m sure, but I feel like that could also turn out to be a Chekov’s gun for next ep. I’m sure the ability to trap someone’s should would be useful in the finale.

S/O to Brennan for his excellent foreshadowing throughout the episode and honestly the whole series.

Siobhan thinking to check the trash folder of his computer was a good move, even if it didn’t end up being the right one.

OK, strap in guys. This is where things get WILD.

Siobhan’s “Oh shit!” when she got halfway down the page of Watches and Wards and then that Harry Potter sounding sting in the background.

(Before I get any further, I love that Adaine’s first thought was well that means my sister isn’t Kal Vaxis because she thinks her sister is the root of all evil).

But WOW. After all the trash talking of the old oracle, it turns out Adaine is the new eleven oracle! And she has been since EPISODE ONE. I almost thought she was gonna be *that* elven oracle because of the questions the cast was asking but nope. It is, as Zac and Siobhan put it, a The Santa Clause situation where the last one dies and someone else gets the job.

Brennan’s faint amusement as they work through that is so good.

You know what’s kinda hilarious in hindsight about that? I said before that, so far, every person Adaine has pegged as trash has ended up being trash of the highest order and an enemy of the party and of course she’s been good at predicting things! She’s the literal oracle.

Am I reading this wrong or is the Religious Studies teacher name Yolanda Badgood?

Also the sheet says “Lunchlad (Official Title)” RIP dude.

Emily low key thinking this is going to be about pay disparity between the races.

Will putting the book back retroactively get rid of anything bad currently cast in school?

Brennan going, “Nothing happens.”/“You see an upside down waste paper basket.” Is such a GM mood. I had a session once where I spent half an hour just saying, “You’re looking at the door,” in various ways.

No one knows what Goldenhoard’s name actually is and it’s the second to last episode.

I feel like Brennan must have gotten forehead/cheek kissed a lot as a child because he’s constantly having NPCs do it. 

Are elves in this setting actually immortal (barring being actually killed) or just long lived? Because Adaine talks like she’s immortal but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, newsflash Adaine. You’ve been mortal this whole campaign! Because apparently, the elven oracle always eventually dies. 

I love that Adaine finally confronted the oracle about sinking on a ship and actually ended up kinda sympathizing with her. I can’t believe this is how that running joke ends.

Fabian at the ghost of the past eleven oracle who’s imparting wisdom on Adaine: Who are you?

Ally: Can I do something weird? (Dude, when do you not?)

Ally mumbling through an inspiring spell as Murph clues in to the paperwork discrepancy that blows the plot twist wide open. And then miming the whole thing in the background as the scene goes on.

“He was mean so I thought that meant he was a good guy.” More stern than mean really but yeah! Same Murph!

You know how you know things are about to get real? When the DM starts letting you do stuff like bust down doors without even rolling for it because there are bigger fish to fry.

The 69 glyphs of binding. Nice.

But in seriousness, Kal Vaxis (apparently it’s spelled Kalvaxus but I can’t be bothered to change that in this post) was apparently trapped by Arthur and bound to work at Aguefort (as Goldenhoard) because…he’s a wildcard I guess. Sidenote, can you imagine what this season might have looked like if Arthur hadn’t died? Or was that always the plan for him to die in some way? Like to resurrect an NPC maybe if the crew hadn’t lost 2 party members.

Man when he said last ep that the girls were going back to school I thought OK that makes sense because it’s the AV computer that Biz used or maybe it’s Penelope. But I totally overlooked teachers.

OK so the binding spell specifically says “as long as I live” and Arthur is dead. So….what does that mean exactly? And this plan seems to have been in motion from before Arthur died. What does that mean? Also, if that wording means he’s freed when Arthur dies, what was Arthur thinking killing himself???? Did he need Kristen to sneak him into heaven so he could talk to Sol and do some scheming or something? AHHHHH I have so many questions.

Also in the binding is a clause about tea. Now, first of all, Arthur, bro. Come on. Second of all, a lawyer really should have looked at that. “I will drink anything you give me”? I work at a law firm. I’m a lowly first year but even I know that’s a terrible thing to put in a contract. I’m sure y'all non lawyers know that too!

Karam-Kajam (the binding spell words) kinda looks like “magic maker” backwards. That doesn’t mean anything. I just wanted y'all to know I was freeze framing every thing that might be a clue.

OK ok ok, so I’ve been saying for a while now (in posts but mainly over chat) that all this bad stuff must be like connected to a central person in service of a central goal but the players were probably all unconnected wild cards acting in self interest. The one thing I couldn’t quite put together was what because these plots have been mainly unconnected. But now, we have it! All the weird things starting a war (by manipulating the harvestmen), getting 7 maidens (by manipulating Biz), and reinstating prom king/queen (by manipulating (?) Penelope and Dayne, also yes! my wild card guess was that prom king/queen was going to be part of a spell or curse or something. Guess it was prophecy but yes! vindication!) are parts of a prophecy on how to bring back Kalvaxis! (Along with him getting his “glittering treasure”?)

But yeah! No wonder it was so hard to put the pieces together! They all connected but only through a prophecy. Good job Bren!

“The sun shall fall from the heavens” is part of the prophecy which makes me think Sol or Helios might be involved in this somehow.

Ally: There are definitely going to be 7 virgins at prom. (That deserved a rim shot).

Good on Murph for making sure none of them were on the virgin list bc that would have been a pain in the ass to find out mid-fight. Also, I KNEW “Where are their bodies” was the question to ask last ep when Biz said they were going back to their bodies.

“Who told you that? An oracle?”

I hope Adaine just uses her oracle status to make sick one liners like, “I predict this is gonna hurt,” before she witchbolts someone. She never does her actual job. 

Adaine who hates her family, righteously indignant: Between our houses and the world, you expect us to choose our houses?

The rest of the group who loves their family: BYEEEEE.

Well, no. Kristen also had reservations before she remembered her brothers existed.

Adaine texting her mom: You should probably leave.

Siobahn and Ally fistbumping over their mutual not caring about their parents.

OK so what’s up with the rat? What’s so important about the rat? And what’s up with Zayne? We still haven’t figured out what’s up with him.

Still not clear on if the crystals trap your physical body or just your spirit and leave your physical body dormant irl.

So that’s how they got rid of the adults for the fight. Nice job again Brennan.

As far as I can tell, Brennan made up this usage of the word palimpsest and I’d never heard of the word before and now I type it so much. Wild.

“I’m calling an Uber. You use the minute to go look at as much shit as you can. Jump in the Uber with me, come to my house. Look Rudolpho will be here in two minutes in a Honda Civic. Use one of those minutes. Go.”

A Knight to Remember. 

They freaking Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to Kristen’s house.

I love how Uber Drivers in this world are still gunning for 5 stars.

OK, time for the most stressful 30 minutes of Fantasy High (so far).

I think the wagering mechanic Brennan used for the fights was brilliant. For each conflict a d20 was rolled. 1-6=epic fail. 7-14=bad but not awful. 15-20=favorable outcome. The twist was that if the person chose to help their family they could give up half their HP and 14 spell levels and he would roll with advantage.

Everyone quickly took that deal except Adaine who truly does not give a damn about her family (and also, reasonably, thought that they wouldn’t even be at home. Idk why they apparently were tbh).

When Emily said, “She’s a complex person and she’s allowed to be,” that was the moment I was like, “Oh yeah. She’s not actually Fig. IRL she knows what’s happening.”

Siobhan uses her divination roll of 18 to save Kristen’s family without having to risk anything but the Ally turns around and decides to take the deal to try and save Adaine’s family WHEN ADAINE DOESN’T EVEN CARE. But it makes sense that Kristen would.

Lou’s monolog as Brennan rolls about how nerve wracking and terrible it is to have no idea what’s going on.

“This is the worst thing I’ve been a part of.”

“I was wondering why my mom visited me and humanized herself and this is exactly why.”

Lou/Fabian: What if my fucking family dies? (F O R E S H A D O W I N G, albeit unknowingly)

Brennan (sagely): It couldn’t have been any other way./Siobhan: It could’ve been!

lol at Adaine trying to trigger that ice cream later wish at their darkest moment (so far). Also, not that I think Brennan ever forgot about it but now I’m for sure it’s gonna come up next ep bc if nothing else that would have reminded him.

OK first up, Fig and her mom.

“Dang they’re already organized with costumes?”

That was so boss, her mom getting revived and then IMMEDIATELY shooting two guys w/ her bow.

Emily LEGIT crying through that scene. The whole room was on an emotional tightrope. You can tell.

Where in the mountains Sandra-Lynn!? I want specifics Sandra-Lynn!!

I love the idea of her jumping out of a window onto a dope griffin’s back. Fig’s mom just bought herself a bunch of spots on my grown-up rankings list.

Ally: THAT WAS NUMBER ONE

Me: SAME.

Next Riz at Strongtower

I knew Sklonda was going to be in the secret room!

I love that apparently Riz can recognize his mom’s gun by hearing it.

I know it was in the promo but Riz’s mom being like, “I was so scared you were gonna ask me to prom” was hysterical.

You just know Sklonda and Agent Angela have been fighting like cats and dogs this past month.

Riz and his mom high fiving. They have the best relationship.

Gorgug and the Thistlesprings

lol, looks like his parents had the easiest time wrecking their intruders.

But based on how it was described as compared to everyone else (bar Fabian–we’re getting there), it sounds like he got pretty dang hurt.

And I guess they have a tank (which they usually use to mow the lawn) and a bomb chest? Wild.

Anyway, if anything had happened to them insert Rosa B99 meme.

“You come to the tree, you better be ready to never fucking leave, you understand?” So boss. (Also, is that a pun?)

Gorgug’s parents launched a satellite while Gorgug was in jail.

Kristen and co.

Kristen’s dad (who is the worst): You think these guys were illegals, what?

Kristen: I’m gonna take the car, byeeee.

Kristen and Adaine bonding over their terrible parents.

I’m Concerned about Kristen’s brothers.

Abernants

They poofed out. Idk why they were still there to begin with.

So the damage they took was supposed to represent the danger the took in their respective fights. Kristen got Adaine’s divination roll meaning her family was fine either way but she did take damage for Adaine’s family. But the fight was already over by the time they got there. So, in story, any injuries sustained must have been from the fight at her house, even though that wasn’t technically the deal.

Anyway, Adaine doesn’t care about her family so let’s not waste any time moving onto

Seacaster manor

Geez

OK, you guys. Let me tell you my buildup to the realization that Bill had to die.

In the first set of episodes, when tone was established, I said to myself, a parent is going to die. I don’t know who, but someone will.

Then, Bill gave them a training montage and I thought, curse of the mentor. He’s going to die. Besides, he’s one of the biggest parental figures and he’s larger than life–perfect for a fall.

Then Sklonda took down the Harvestmen and I briefly shifted my worry to her.

But then Fabian started clashing with Bill. And I remembered all the constant talk of his mortality.

And then, this ep, Brennan made him choose between his mom and dad and I was pretty sure. (sidenote: Fabian yelling at his mom the same ep Adaine said he has a great relationship with his mom. But, like, compared to her, maybe. Also, mean Brennan.)

And then Fabian lost an eye (with a description that still makes me wince) and I KNEW. Once he lost his eye, there was no way Bill could leave the fight alive, thematically.

Honestly, it was a wrap when Fabian played the video from his dad. I was worried he’d die before he got there. 

(It was a low blow, and I credit you that.)

Why were there Harvestmen attacking Fabian’s house and no one elses?

Fabian’s mom just drinking while the house is being raided.

I was so sure the tuxed Harvestman who attacked Fabian was going to turn out to somehow be Daybreak or something. Anyway, it has to come up again. There’s no reason for that level of detail otherwise. And tux sounds like prom attire.

Lou rolls a nat 1 and then rerolls it because he has the lucky trait. What’s funny is just started listening to NADNDPod and Murph (who reminded Lou about the lucky thing) disallowed one of his players from rerolling a nat 1 even w/ the lucky in the last ep I listened to. I don’t remember if the circumstances were different though.

Bill handcuffing himself up to keep fighting. Yikes.

Anyway, ugh that whole death scene. I would write more but this is closing in on 4k words and I’ve been working on this for hours. I just wanna say, that was a perfect way to go out for him. Killing 60 people and then getting stabbed by his son and exploding. So baller (as was Fabian jumping out the window onto his bike and catching Bill’s sword. He has so many cool swords now).

It’s a crime no one does animatics for this show.

We also got a piece of the puzzle. Bill was the one supplying the palimpsests (or at least one of the ones. who was doing it before?) not for an evil reason. Just a chaotic neutral reason of wanting to recapture the glory days. So now we know that.

I mentioned this before but…Fabian is Thor.

“I SHALL LEAP INTO HELL AND KILL THE DEVIL HIMSELF” and Bill Seacaster is dril apparently.

I love Fabian destroying the nice thing Bill said about him to preserve his legacy.

Ally: HE COULD HAVE SURVIVED.

I appreciate so much that Lou knew his character so well that without any hesitation he stabbed Bill and that was the right choice.

Whew, that was a lot.

Also, not that I don’t trust Brennan but it’s wild that Bill, the most thematically appropriate parent to die, was the only one who failed his roll apparently. 

Aww at Zelda’s message to Gorgug. She made him a playlist! So 80’s high school. It gives him a bonus! Also I really wanna know what’s on the list. Like, is it all fantasy rock puns or actual songs? Yay for Brennan giving them cool items for good RPing. 

Live band. Nice.

Emily and Zac both rolled 20’s for initiative for next week’s fight. Hopefully that’s a good omen. We have no way of knowing because THERE’S NO PROMO FOR NEXT WEEK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This isn’t edited. This is more than 4000 words. This is so long my computer is about to die. Thank you and goodnight. 

Devil’s own Luck pt13

Warning: strong language, mobstyling warlords

Masterlist

---

Chapter 13 – Dead Man’s Hand

Nobunaga is nothing but observant. The smallest of things were not lost on him and if he chose to be interested in it then he could be very observant indeed. Knowing this Mitsuhide could almost predict what was to come next. He knew and yet he really didn’t wish to discuss it. Putting on his usual smiling mask he waited patiently for the inevitable discussion with Nobunaga.

It didn’t take long before the doors to the office slide open and Nobunaga appeared carrying a stack of files. Whatever Mitsuhide had thought was about to be discussed, this was not it. The files were dumped with a thump on the table in front of Mitsuhide and Nobunaga moved to sit in a chair on the other side of the information rainforest.

“I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage Nobunaga I suppose you do intend to tell me why you have placed all of the business accounts here? I thought you wanted to discuss something else.” Mitsuhide let out a light chuckle as he stared at the files that dated from the time the Azuki business was started. What on earth is all this for?

“Oh? Did you think I called you here to talk to you about [Name] perhaps?” Nobunaga gave him a knowing smirk tapping his own collar lightly and Mitsuhide couldn’t avoid the flinch in his body. Dammit! He hadn’t checked a mirror, he didn’t have too his skin stung with the memory of her. He didn’t hate it, but he could have done without the teasing. His loosened collar suddenly felt like a hangman’s noose.

“Don’t worry I have no interest in what you get up to with your pet. I called you to talk about the upcoming fight.” Nobunaga shrugged and continued.

“And you needed the accounts files for that?” Mitsuhide waved his hand at the mountain of files in between them on the table. Why? Did I miss something?

“Yes. To save some time and to purge you of your lack of knowledge which could be troublesome to me in the near future I have decided to show you the ‘real’ books for the company.” At Nobunaga’s words Mitsuhide looked closer at the files.

The word ‘real’ sunk in so fast it snapped his attention to the situation completely and his yellow eyes glowed as he looked at Nobunaga. So, this is to prevent me doing something that will cause you problems huh? Mitsuhide reached out his hand and picked up the top folder a few pages in and he could see some issues. They couldn’t have been better laid out if Nobunaga had written it in neon lights. What on earth? How? This isn’t possible…

“You own ALL the stocks!? But the shareholders… the meetings. How did you do all this? Why did you do it?” Mitsuhide bombarded Nobunaga with question after question as his confusion won out against trying to maintain and cool, calm demeanour. Are you mad?

“It is rather a long story. I shall start at the beginning.” Nobunaga got up from his chair and moved to a side table pouring two large glasses of cognac before returning and handing one to Mitsuhide.

Mitsuhide took the offered drink with a feeling he would be needing it. Putting himself back in his chair and reclining against its arm Nobunaga swirled the liquid in his glass as he began to spin his tale.

“This whole plan was already set in motion long before I became head of the Oda cartel. Whilst I fulfilled my tasks as my father had issued them to be I was able to strike deals and favours with a great number of people he associated with.” Makes sense Nobunaga was always good at getting people to listen to him.

“The bread and butter stuff we’ve all done it. But you started this ‘plan’ of yours that far back? To what end?” Mitsuhide nodded as he selected a few files from the stacks and absently flicked through them.

“I’ll get to that if you allow me to finish.” Nobunaga sounded a little frustrated at the interruption but Mitsuhide smiled and nodded distractedly encouraging him to continue whilst also taking a drink from his glass.

“All those deals and favours created the funding I needed to kick start the new era of the cartel. After I was named head and took over I rebranded us and then found all of you. I let the company function for as long as it took to become profitable in its own right and then started to give Mitsunari a couple of little ‘puzzles’ to solve.” Nobunaga looked a little like a cat that got the cream. His smile at being able to in some way ‘play’ their resident genius was one of supreme satisfaction.

“You mean you tricked him into manipulating the figures in the other books?” Mitsuhide hated to admit it but it was impressive. Mitsunari would have reported something odd to Hideyoshi or himself if he thought it was something odd. The fact that Nobunaga had managed to get him to do any of this for this length of time and nothing came to light was nothing short of amazing.

Mitsuhide flicked through the folders and saw something else. Oh… this is … wrong. Very wrong. He raised his head and met Nobunaga’s eyes.

“You see it then? Allow me to continue then. After adjusting the records for public view and the shareholders I kept the original copies. As far as becoming the soul shareholder… well that was a simple thing of calling back the shares, with a promise of something more.” Nobunaga was outlining his path nicely but the sudden encyclopaedic information was causing Mitsuhide’s brain to stall.

“Something more? You are telling me our shareholders simply handed over their shares on nothing more than a promise?” Mitsuhide asked in disbelief.

“No of course not, even they aren’t that stupid. I paid them the money they were worth plus 20% on top to make the temptation too much for them to refuse, with a stipulation that they don’t tell anyone else about it and still turn up to the meetings. I’m a little abashed you think that my word is no longer enough to garner a profitable deal. You used to think it was good enough… so good in fact that you decide to join me.” Nobunaga gestured in Mitsuhide’s direction with his glass and took a swig.

“Nobunaga, I do not doubt your word I was just a little shocked. I would struggle to create something this elaborate, and to be told you have been working on it since before we all met is a little over whelming.” He was honest it held little benefit to play games at this point. Nobunaga was being honest enough to show him his whole plan he didn’t wish to waste energy in being on guard. Seriously what the Hell do you need me for if you can plan shit like this?

“You have created a massive smoke screen complete with mirrors. It is a very impressive magic trick. The figures show we are only financially ticking over. It’s enough to show face but we can’t continue to run at this level, someone will notice.” Mitsuhide held up the file tilting it to show Nobunaga what he was referring too and the other man simply flashed and infuriating grin in return.

“Exactly and that is what I am planning to avoid. We now know that the ex-chief inspector is working with Shingen and Kenshin. I know they are planning something to financially take us down.” Nobunaga stated the current facts.

“You know? How can you know that?” Mitsuhide probed.

“As soon as I announced my decision to run in politics the negative press turned favourable and the official authorities have come into play as my allies as apposed to my hunters. They cannot risk drawing themselves into anything other than a bloodless battle. Also, the time for them to be able to strike is running out. As soon as I officially do move, they have no way of doing anything damaging to me without significate damage to themselves in return.” The smug expression didn’t leave his face as Nobunaga explained the finer points.

Mitsuhide had to hand it to Nobunaga it was strategically brilliant he had turned the tables on the enemy and used the available resources of the press in his favour like a shield against a violent fight.

“You’ve created and planned in a way that everything has pushed them straight into a chokehold maneuverer. They can only push forward in one way, you shut off the other directions available to them. But how do you know they won’t still come in baring arms?” It was a question he could have guessed and answer to but Mitsuhide still asked it.

“Because Shingen is too kind to risk more lives being lost over this and Kenshin is too honourable to go against his ally’s choice. When I leave…” Nobunaga was becoming a bit more animated clearly it was coming to his crescendo in this grand plan.

“Wait you planned on selling?” If this was the plan all along then that means the last few months of making the smoke screen thicker have all done nothing except putting [Name] in direct danger.

Mitsuhide was getting angry now, it was unusual, he didn’t normally get this way on others behave but she was different. He felt responsible … he was the one that brought her here in the first place… it was all his fault. It was ‘her’ all over again. The prickling under his skin as he felt his blood starting to boil was making him feel itchy.

“I plan to unite!” Nobunaga pronounced proudly.

“HOW? Oh…. Wait. You plan on selling an empty shell and your own shares, causing a crash against the Uesugi/Takeda cartel after they find out what they have purchased.” Mitsuhide’s brain suddenly sparked into life just after he asked and then promptly answered his own question.

“Exactly. With sales, money banked and supporters to financially buy out their cartel … I will own the lot. I’m glad to see you haven’t completely lost you analytical mind Mitsuhide.” Nobunaga smiled and nodded happily taking another mouthful of his drink.

“But the girl? You exposed her publicly to this world knowing that it was about to go up in flames at your orchestration and put her in danger.” Mitsuhide’s simmering rage once dormant over the past was starting to spike and push fizzing ready to burst the dam on his resolve. You don’t do this Nobunaga not once have you ever expressed an interest in putting someone in direct danger you always put your own neck on the line. How could you?

“A rather fortunate means to an end, don’t you think?” His smirk did it. The last straw on his restraint and it broke with a bang in his chest as Mitsuhide snapped the file in his hand shut and fixed his serpentine viper gaze on his boss.

“No, I don’t think. Fortunate is something of benefit there was nothing to benefit in putting [Name] at risk like that. Hideyoshi was right we should have cut her loose when she recovered from her initial shock.” Mitsuhide spat in a righteous anger. If looks could kill Nobunaga wouldn’t still be breathing.

“I never thought I would see the day you of all people would agree with Hideyoshi on any subject never mind getting bent out of shape over some girl you found in the street.” Chuckling lightly as if completely unfazed by Mitsuhide’s obvious distress Nobunaga put his now empty glass on the table, watching his left hand as he raged on.

“And I never expected to see you of all people treat a life as something so worthless. I know you think of them as something more than mere tools Nobunaga, but what I don’t see is why it is different now.” Mitsuhide never tried to pass judgement he knew all to well he was far from clean himself. People in glass houses. But he couldn’t hold it in.

“Mitsuhide are you so blind sighted by a woman that you cannot see past the end of your own urges?” As if only just realising the depth of Mitsuhide’s anger and how it was directed, Nobunaga quirked his eye brow at him in wonder.

“No, I have not! I still agree with the unification plan but this … this involving an innocent bystander, to then offer them up to the altar of chance and misfortune without so much as a care…” Mitsuhide was rambling now he knew it he was trying to claw back his rational but his mouth wouldn’t stop running. It’s like someone pulled the plug and everything is just… God it hurts so fucking much!

“This is about Emica isn’t it?” Nobunaga asked calmly.

“Don’t you dare bring her up.” If he thought he had been angry before now just the name of the unlucky girl of his past was enough to make it feel like the air was sizzling and his body erupted in a challenging inferno.

“Why not it’s been years since what transpired if you have found someone in [Name] to move on and forget her you should.” Nobunaga challenged the blaze in front of him. He didn’t push he calmly spoke as his friend raged and reconnected to his past.

“It’s not that easy I can’t just forget… it was all my fault. And now it’s happening all over again. I cannot lose another!”

Shouting in a voice mixed with blind anger and pain, Mitsuhide slammed the files he had been looking at back on the table and stormed out of the office without looking at Nobunaga. Watching the mans retreating back Nobunaga got up from his chair once more and poured another drink.

“I hope for your sake you can move on my friend. For your sake and [Name] I fear for her smile if you can’t.” Nobunaga muttered into his glass as he took a sip.

Moving over to his computer and turning it on he began sorting his emails as he remembered the trip back from the party.

How she had waited till they were in the car before crying into his shoulder trembling. Her eyes sparkling as she spoke about his kitsune of a lieutenant.

She was in love with him and she hadn’t noticed it herself at that point. Mitsuhide had been the same from day one Nobunaga had seen the impossible look he gave the girl as he carried her unconscious form.

The meeting had been far from calm by despite it he smiled. He clicked on several messages and he began typing…

---

Today’s reading in the ancient book of Psalms

for monday, may 18 of 2020 with Psalm 18 accompanied by Psalm 61 for the 61st day of Spring and Psalm 139 for day 139 of the year

[Psalm 18]

A David Song, Which He Sang to God After Being Saved from All His Enemies and from Saul

I love you, God—

you make me strong.

God is bedrock under my feet,

the castle in which I live,

my rescuing knight.

My God—the high crag

where I run for dear life,

hiding behind the boulders,

safe in the granite hideout.

I sing to God, the Praise-Lofty,

and find myself safe and saved.

The hangman’s noose was tight at my throat;

devil waters rushed over me.

Hell’s ropes cinched me tight;

death traps barred every exit.

A hostile world! I call to God,

I cry to God to help me.

From his palace he hears my call;

my cry brings me right into his presence—

a private audience!

Earth wobbles and lurches;

huge mountains shake like leaves,

Quake like aspen leaves

because of his rage.

His nostrils flare, bellowing smoke;

his mouth spits fire.

Tongues of fire dart in and out;

he lowers the sky.

He steps down;

under his feet an abyss opens up.

He’s riding a winged creature,

swift on wind-wings.

Now he’s wrapped himself

in a trenchcoat of black-cloud darkness.

But his cloud-brightness bursts through,

spraying hailstones and fireballs.

Then God thundered out of heaven;

the High God gave a great shout,

spraying hailstones and fireballs.

God shoots his arrows—pandemonium!

He hurls his lightnings—a rout!

The secret sources of ocean are exposed,

the hidden depths of earth lie uncovered

The moment you roar in protest,

let loose your hurricane anger.

But me he caught—reached all the way

from sky to sea; he pulled me out

Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,

the void in which I was drowning.

They hit me when I was down,

but God stuck by me.

He stood me up on a wide-open field;

I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete

when I placed all the pieces before him.

When I got my act together,

he gave me a fresh start.

Now I’m alert to God’s ways;

I don’t take God for granted.

Every day I review the ways he works;

I try not to miss a trick.

I feel put back together,

and I’m watching my step.

God rewrote the text of my life

when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.

The good people taste your goodness,

The whole people taste your health,

The true people taste your truth,

The bad ones can’t figure you out.

You take the side of the down-and-out,

But the stuck-up you take down a peg.

Suddenly, God, you floodlight my life;

I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!

I smash the bands of marauders,

I vault the highest fences.

What a God! His road

stretches straight and smooth.

Every God-direction is road-tested.

Everyone who runs toward him

Makes it.

Is there any god like God?

Are we not at bedrock?

Is not this the God who armed me,

then aimed me in the right direction?

Now I run like a deer;

I’m king of the mountain.

He shows me how to fight;

I can bend a bronze bow!

You protect me with salvation-armor;

you hold me up with a firm hand,

caress me with your gentle ways.

You cleared the ground under me

so my footing was firm.

When I chased my enemies I caught them;

I didn’t let go till they were dead men.

I nailed them; they were down for good;

then I walked all over them.

You armed me well for this fight,

you smashed the upstarts.

You made my enemies turn tail,

and I wiped out the haters.

They cried “uncle”

but Uncle didn’t come;

They yelled for God

and got no for an answer.

I ground them to dust; they gusted in the wind.

I threw them out, like garbage in the gutter.

You rescued me from a squabbling people;

you made me a leader of nations.

People I’d never heard of served me;

the moment they got wind of me they listened.

The foreign devils gave up; they came

on their bellies, crawling from their hideouts.

Live, God! Blessings from my Rock,

my free and freeing God, towering!

This God set things right for me

and shut up the people who talked back.

He rescued me from enemy anger,

he pulled me from the grip of upstarts,

He saved me from the bullies.

That’s why I’m thanking you, God,

all over the world.

That’s why I’m singing songs

that rhyme your name.

God’s king takes the trophy;

God’s chosen is beloved.

I mean David and all his children—

always.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 18 (The Message)

[Psalm 61]

A David Psalm

God, listen to me shout,

bend an ear to my prayer.

When I’m far from anywhere,

down to my last gasp,

I call out, “Guide me

up High Rock Mountain!”

You’ve always given me breathing room,

a place to get away from it all,

A lifetime pass to your safe-house,

an open invitation as your guest.

You’ve always taken me seriously, God,

made me welcome among those who know and love you.

Let the days of the king add up

to years and years of good rule.

Set his throne in the full light of God;

post Steady Love and Good Faith as lookouts,

And I’ll be the poet who sings your glory—

and live what I sing every day.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 61 (The Message)

[Psalm 139]

For the worship leader. A song of David.

O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am;

You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again.

Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.

You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming,

and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know.

You know what I’m going to say long before I say it.

It is true, Eternal One, that You know everything and everyone.

You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me,

and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder.

It is the most amazing feeling to know how deeply You know me, inside and out;

the realization of it is so great that I cannot comprehend it.

Can I go anywhere apart from Your Spirit?

Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?

If I go up into heaven, You are there.

If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.

If I ride on the wings of morning,

if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,

Even then You will be there to guide me;

Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.

Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me,

the light around me will soon be turned to night,”

You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes.

For You the night is just as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.

For You shaped me, inside and out.

You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.

I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe.

You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;

Your works are wonderful;

I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

You see all things; nothing about me was hidden from You

As I took shape in secret,

carefully crafted in the heart of the earth before I was born from its womb.

You see all things;

You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;

Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;

You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.

Your thoughts and plans are treasures to me, O God! I cherish each and every one of them!

How grand in scope! How many in number!

If I could count each one of them, they would be more than all the grains of sand on earth. Their number is inconceivable!

Even when I wake up, I am still near to You.

I wish You would destroy all the wicked, O God.

So keep away from me, those who are thirsty for blood!

For they say such horrible things about You,

and those who are against You abuse Your good name.

Is it not true that I hate all who hate You, Eternal One?

Is it not true that I despise all who come against You?

Deep hatred boils within me toward them;

I am Your friend, and they are my enemies.

Explore me, O God, and know the real me. Dig deeply and discover who I am.

Put me to the test and watch how I handle the strain.

Examine me to see if there is an evil bone in me,

and guide me down Your path forever.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 139 (The Voice)

along with that lines mirrored in The Passion Translation:

You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.

You read my heart like an open book

and you know all the words I’m about to speak

before I even start a sentence!

You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 139:3-4 (The Passion Translation)

and concluded by this line:

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

The Book of Psalms, Poem 139:14 (New King James Version)

and this line inspired the title of chapter A (fear&wonder) in the book of my thought-life, in the silent music of instrumental poetry...

(A full circle of silence & sound)

Back to the Frollo, Chapter 9

Warning: Poor Quasimodo gets dragged into this now.

"Hey, Quasi", as I reached for the little hand-carved wooden figure of what looked like General Grant. "Grant's beard's a little too bushy. He's starting to look like Gabby Hayes." "Gabby Who?" replied Quasimodo blankly. "Never mind. Here, look at the picture. Are you sure you want to do this? It's a lot of work", I said as I handed Quasi a picture book of the Civil War.

Why does Quasimodo care about a war that hasn’t happened yet in a country that hasn’t been founded yet on the other side of the world that in no way affects him?

I had been spending a lot of time in the belltower of Notre Dame ever since that first, botched encounter with Claude Frollo. I felt really bad about going off on him those few days ago, and I never told a soul about our meeting. I just figured that if I stayed out of his way and kept my mouth shut, things would cool off and maybe we could try to be friends. I went to Notre Dame the day after my encounter with Frollo. It was there I met Quasimodo, the cathedral's bellringer. I was immediately struck by his sweetness and gentleness; I was not put off by his deformities. Quasi showed me his belltower home, and the miniature city and townspeople he carved himself. I complimented him on his talent and he seemed fascinated by my interests as he noted seeing me in the square with the kids.

Awww, it’s just like his first meeting with Esmeralda! Except Esmeralda was actually a decent human being and not a racist bigot with a Frollo fetish. The opposite, actually.

I soon found myself lugging American literature and history books up the steps leading to the belltower. For several days, I enthralled Quasi with stories of the Civil War, American folk heroes, the Underground Railroad. He especially liked the African American folktales of John Henry and High John the Conqueror. He decided he wanted, as a gift to me, to carve a Civil War battle scene, complete with Lee, Grant, and Union and Confederate troops.I thought this was weird but I indulged Quasi.

He’s just using his artistic talent to carve you a present. That’s just sweet, not weird. Your crush on Frollo is weird. Also, is Quasimodo the one reading those books? Because seeing as he was still learning the alphabet in his 20s, and its set in a time when most were illiterate anyway, I doubt he can read. Phoebus probably did- he was a male in a position of power. Esmeralda seems to be pretty smart and knew lots of stuff that wasn’t common knowledge at the time (after all, she could swim and give stitches) so she probably could too (if not she probably picked it up fast from Phoebus.) I’d say they might have taught Quasi, but they seem to have vanished off the face of the earth, so who knows?

"I don't mind doing things for people I care about", Quasi said, as he painted a newly carved figure of Abe Lincoln, "When you're stuck up here alone, you have nothing but a lot of time, so might as well do something to keep yourself occupied...and happy." He smiled as we wrapped another day's activities. I didn't want to stay too long as Quasi expected Claude Frollo any time. My visits with Quasimodo always ended with me hastily exiting as soon as Frollo entered the cathedral. I hated doing this and so did Quasi. He told me how Frollo 'adopted' him when Quasi's momma didn't want him.

…no, he brutally murdered his mother and then tried to drown him in a well.

"Frollo took me in when no one else would. But he's very strict about me leaving the belltower, or having visitors." "Well, Quasi, maybe it's best that I don't hang around when he comes to see you. I surely don't want to get us into trouble." I packed up some books, hugged Quasi goodbye, and started down the tower steps. Whew! Frollo's not expected for a least another hour, and this time I didn't have to rush. My thoughts were then focused on Quasi's mini-battleground. I suppressed a giggle as I wondered what Frollo would think of all those tiny cannons and rifles, and little soldiers in blue and gray. I told Quasi to keep it hidden where Frollo wouldn't discover it.

Hide an entire model battleground? How?

I had to take my shoes off because all those steps and high heels were a dangerous combination. Just a few more steps and you're home-free, I thought as I juggled shoes and books. I was within three steps of the ground floor when I dropped my shoe and a couple of books. I made it to the bottom and, as I sat down to put on my shoes, a tall figure approached me. He picked up my books and looked at the titles. "Interesting. 'The Speeches of Abraham Lincoln', 'The Civil War'". He knew enough English to pronounce the words exactly. "Such intellectual pursuits for one so beautiful."

How can he read modern English? Even if he could read it then, the language has vastly evolved in 600 years. And this is set in France. 

I looked up and found myself staring into the eyes of Judge Claude Frollo. Oh no, I thought, he's going to arrest me for sure, probably for visiting Quasimodo. "I like reading New World history", I hastily explained as I took back my books and placed them in my bag. I expected him to laugh and tell me that my country was too young to have any kind of history, but he didn't; instead, Claude Frollo knelt down and assisted me with my shoes. I tried to protest but he smiled at me so sweetly, his hands cradled my foot so gently, I couldn't say a word.

Oh my god. And so the immense OOC-ness begins…

He spoke softly, "You should be careful wearing such shoes as these." He looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "We don't want you seriously injured. By the way, Mlle. Wood, if I offended you..." "Offended me?", I wondered. "Oh, you mean what happened a few days ago...No, Minister Frollo, I'm the one who should apologize. I had no business going off on you like that."

And you had no business going off on Romani people like that, either.

Claude Frollo smiled again as he helped me to my feet. "Well, no matter. What's done is done. I still watch you at play with the children. I'm still intrigued by you. Now that I've espied some of your reading material, you arouse my curiosity even more..."

Because he cares so much about Abraham Lincoln.

Then Frollo's voice trailed off as he drew closer to me. He still looked me straight in the eyes as if he were searching for something inside me. "You were up in the belltower, visiting Quasimodo", he said, at last with certainty, his eyes never wavering from mine. "Quasi is my friend. He likes me to read to him. He's fascinated by New World history and literature. He likes poetry and folktales the best. I hope you don't mind me coming to see him." I wondered if Claude Frollo would suddenly become angry that Quasi and I had become such close friends. What was to come next proved me right, for Claude Frollo continued to gaze into my eyes and coolly said, "Quasimodo is 'different'. I don't want his head filled with ideas that may give him false hopes."

“You are deformed. And you are ugly.” -Frollo to Quasimodo

How can he do this? How can he stand there, be so sweet and attentive one moment and then turn into the Ice King the next? I was beginning to believe all the rumors about Claude Frollo's cruel coldness, that he was too wrapped up in himself to even notice what people actually think of him. I shot him a long, hard look and, in my best 'sistah-with-a-tude' voice said, "I don't think Quasi is as 'different', as you make him out to be. You're selling the poor kid too short. I'm just trying to make his day a little brighter, that's all. As for 'filling his head with ideas', so what? New ideas aren't going to hurt him! If you ask me, reading a little Lincoln or Frederick Douglass is not going to turn Quasi into a raving radical overnight! I don't see why you're so fired-up mad about me spending a little time with him."

A.) sistah-with-a-tude, really? and B.) Quasi’s like 20-something. Probably your age. He’s not a kid.

Claude Frollo immediately lashed out at me. "Have you forgotten my warnings? You shall pay dearly for your insolence. How I rear Quasimodo is no concern of yours!" He reached out as if to grab my arm but I quickly stepped back. "Minister Frollo, is it true you can't arrest me here?", I announced in a raised voice. Some of the priests and parishioners heard me as I continued my little routine. "Yes, that's right! I heard the Archdeacon tell someone that once they're granted sanctuary, you can't touch them. So you know what? I'm going to sit right here and there's nothing you can do about it."

“I’m a whiny child who will continue to taunt powerful figures of authority for no reason regardless of the consequences on myself or others.”

Minister Frollo glared hard at me and started to say something, but I quickly continued my tirade, "And where you get off being so nice just to cut me down. I don't know what your problem is but it's just not right. I thought we could be friends but I guess I was wrong." I sat down on the stone floor and glared up at him. Claude Frollo stared right back at me, his eyes registered a curious mixture of anger and - pain. Yes, pain. It was more than just humiliation - I think I actually hurt him with my words. I did it again! I let my mouth get the best of me, and now I just may have lost a potential friend. Momma always told me my mouth would get me in trouble, and it did. Just before Frollo turned to ascend the belltower steps, he knelt down before me and said in a surprisingly calm voice, "I don't believe in 'second chances'. If I had my way I'd arrest you here and now. Unfortunately I have no authority here." He gently stroked my cheek. "But somehow I cannot see your glorious honey-brown skin spoiled by whip marks, or that beautiful neck snapped in a hangman's noose."

Funny, because it sounds to me like Frollo actually enjoys imaging women he likes but can’t have being hung, murdered or mutilated. Evidenced by him cornering Esmeralda, groping her, sniffing her hair and telling her he’s imagining a rope around her pretty neck. And praying to Mary to let him burn her alive. And crushing her leg in a vice. And trying to rape her.

His voice softened to a whisper. "Oh...Danisha, my dear, you have the most beautiful brown eyes." I didn't know what to think of this sudden change in mood. I looked at him with surprise and confusion. "Minister Frollo...what are you saying?" Claude Frollo gently held my hand and fingered a lock of my hair. "I am saying that I am letting you go. I can't believe I said those words, but there's something about you..." He stood up, quickly composed himself and, in a commanding voice, said, "You have been warned, my dear. Those who disregard my authority will clearly pay. Now, get out of my sight!" I blinked as he left, but I wasn't mistaken; Claude Frollo had given me a quick wink before heading up the belltower steps. And was that a slight smile I detected? I didn't know what came over him but it got me off the hook. Of course, I still had the rest of June and all of July in Paris: was this town big enough for the both of us?

If you quit being an awful, stupid person, it would be.

As I walked out of the cathedral, I lifted my eyes heavenward. Oh please, I prayed, let the rest of my vacation be without mishaps...and please don't let Claude Frollo be mad at me any more.

* * * * * * * Claude Frollo stood on the parking deck and stared out across the canal. "I was very angry with you and I had every intention of punishing you", he said as I unlocked the car door. "But I couldn't bring myself to..." His voice quavered as he embraced me; I could feel what I thought were tears. "Claude," I whispered softly. "Are you OK, baby?" Claude looked into my eyes, almost the same way he looked at me that day in the cathedral. "Danisha, my dear, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. And even though you maddened me with all your...sassiness... I like that word." Claude sweetly kissed my lips and continued. "At any rate, we managed to forgive each other and become friends...and much more." He kissed me again.

And an annoying flash-forward to their cheesy modern-day relationship!

"Claude, you forget that I almost left Paris for good because...", I started to clarify a few key things when Claude Frollo interrupted me. "Now, my love", he laughingly said, as we got in the car, "the entire 'incident' wasn't all that disastrous. You admitted your guilt and I reacted. That is all." "You 'reacted' all right, sugar", I said while starting the engine. Then, in a quieter voice, "I didn't know what to think. I was confused, angry. All I wanted to do was get out of Paris and forget we ever met."

If I came across Claude Frollo, I’d probably try to get out of there too. Mostly because I’d be worried about being raped and/or murdered.

Claude leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'm glad you stayed. I don't know what I would have done without you..." He kissed me again, then leaned back, smiled broadly. "Well...no matter. We're together now." He pursed his lips in an imaginary kiss and in his deepest, sultriest voice, asked, "Now, my sweet darling Nisha, where to next?" I smiled back at him, returned the 'air kiss' and said, "Do you like spiced apple cider and gingerbread?" Claude Frollo grinned and ran his tongue over his lips saying, "So much spice in one weekend. Sounds oh-so delicious." I giggled softly and kissed his lips.

Does he even gave a concept of what gingerbread is?!

As we travelled northward towards Lilly Orchard, Claude once again reminded me of an unforgettable incident that nearly ended a special relationship.

Was it the murder and the genocidal tendencies and the rapey undertones of every interaction he has with Esmeralda? Probably not, it’ll probably just be another stupid, mundane thing made up by the author for no reason other than to drag this thing on longer and make me want to jump off a bridge more.

The Dark Children (Chapter 8)

AO3 Link

This chapter was revised by my amazing beta @ethereal-wishes.

Rose looked down through the large windows of the room where she had spent the whole day, locked up as prisoner, being watched by King Maurice's guards while she curled in a chair and tried to think. Now, however she was wondering if she could jump through the window to escape, but it was most certain that she would die from the fall. The girl hoped that Gideon and Mr. Dove had made it out of the woods, for their own sake, since her brother had been severely injured on the attack. She knew the moment Rumplestiltskin heard about her disappearance, he was going to use a tracking spell to find her. Then this annoying thing on her arm that blocked her magic, wouldn't matter anymore, because she would be rescued and her father would take it off her wrist in a swift second. She had tried to alert him earlier by summoning the imp, but something must have been wrong with that place, because he didn't come, and could only be justified by the fact that he probably didn't hear her.

A deep loud sigh left her, as she let her eyes travel around the room. There was a four-poster bed with white sheets in the center and a desk on the side with a whole shelf full of old books behind it. She was more than sure that these chambers had belonged to her mother in the past, and as much as her curiosity wanted to draw her to the books, Rose was too upset to even stand up from her seat. It was utterly ridiculous that she was being held captive in her grandfather's castle. Her hands gripped firmly at the chair's arms when she heard the door being unlocked, but despite what she expected, it wasn't Maurice who showed up, but a man that seemed to be around forty or fifty, with greying hair.

He walked towards her like a lion, wearing a smirk on his lips. "Oh, I certainly got a big prize here."

"Excuse me?" Rose blinked.

Ignoring her, the man palmed his hand on her cheek and she quickly pulled back, leaning against the chair, attempting to evade his advances.

"You really do look a lot like her," he said in a contemplative tone and if the shine is his eyes wasn't so full of cruelty, Rose would say that he was happy to see her.

"Will you please stop mumbling your thoughts and tell me who are you and why you're here?" she shouted back.

An evil grin stretched across his lips. "My name is Keith and once I was known as the Sheriff of Nottingham."

She thought she'd heard that name before, and the story behind it quickly popped in her head. Keith was an important man in the Sherwood Forest, and had a bad past with Roland's father, Robin Hood. Some years after the thief married Regina, the commoners started to come for them in search of help, and the kindness they showed, made them start a rebellion against the cruel king that governed those lands by that time, replacing him and his men, by the couple and Robin's friends. Keith was one that lost his place

"And now you're what? The hangman of Avonlea?" Rose remarked testily.

"You have your father's weakness for making threats, huh?" he smirked.

"What do you want from me?" Rose asked. "Has my sweet grandfather sent you to kill me?" she taunted.

Keith folded his arms against his chest, looking even more pretentious than any royal she'd ever met. There was clearly a reason why the Sherwood commoners wanted to rid themselves of him. Rose thought he was horrible and a man who thought too highly of himself.

"No, he actually wants to keep you alive for now, but he called me because he is ill and wished to make a deal," he resumed.

"A deal?" She chuckled darkly. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Oh, you wish, girl," he answered, wrapping his hand around her neck and pulling her up from the chair, bringing Rose's face near his. Her heartbeat quickened and the air got caught in her throat as his mouth approached her ear. "When he dies, you'll mine."

It was an absurd and she would laugh at his stupidity if it wasn't for the fact that there were two guards watching the scene and none of them seemed willing to stop Keith from doing anything to her. She doubted that they cared irregardless.

"Yours?" Rose questioned in a shaken voice. "Did he really think that he could just sell me like I am, like some slave? My father will come for me and when he does, you better pray the gods have mercy on you."

"Oh, keep talking, doll. This place is barricaded against magic, and Rumplestiltskin will only find you when I decide to let him to," Keith said, clenching his teeth, gripping her neck more tightly, stifling her breathing. "First, we will have some fun for the day he threatened me, and then, we will do it again for the title Regina and her thief dismissed me from."

Fear settled deep within her heart. Had she truly understood what he was saying? She didn't know, but she was sure that she needed to escape from here, because if she spent any other day in Avonlea she might be ruined one way or another. Her summons wasn't reaching her father because this place was protected against magic, and he wouldn't be able to find her so simply. It was up to her to save herself this time.

"I have nothing to do with Regina, so why would you take your revenge by hurting me?" Rose inquired.

"You're her son's girlfriend," Keith shrugged.

Was it possible that she was linked with every single wrong person in this realm? Her body was trembling with fear, because she had never felt so helpless, for her magic had always been her biggest strength and without it, she felt like a coward, longing for nothing more than her parents' protection. Breathing in, she put on her best face, a plan quickly forming in the back of her mind.

"I'm Prince Neal's betrothed!" she blurted out impulsively.

Keith laughed, throwing her back on the chair. "The whole Enchanted Forest knows that this is a lie."

"So, you just came here to gloat?" She inquired. "Did my grandfather agree to any of this?

"Some things are better off left unsaid, doll," he said with another smirk.

"Stop calling me doll!" she growled vehemently.

Turning his back to her and walking towards the door, the former Sheriff of Nottingham gesticulated for the guards to open the door, shouting one last sentence at her: "I hope you enjoy your stay."

Regina's family was reunited in the dining hall, having breakfast and sharing a light conversation about Prince Neal's birthday party when the purple cloud of smoke materialized near the former Evil Queen's seat, bringing an angered Rumplestiltskin with it. The look on his face was full of distress and he was gripping at Rose's scarf, completely tense.

"My tracking spell isn't working," he said, glancing at Regina. "Why?"

Slowly placing her cup on the table, she turned around to face him with one arched eyebrow. "What reason do you have to believe I would know? You're the man who taught me everything I know, yet you come to me for answers."

"I need an answer!" He bellowed, grabbing the regal woman's arm, making Ronnie and Roland stare at him with wide eyes.

"I don't have it," Regina answered in a calm voice.

"Calm down," Robin said, standing up to grip his jacket. "Pull away."

Rumplestiltskin backed away, taking a long deep breath, trying to calm himself, but it was very hard right now. His daughter was in danger, he knew it deep in his soul and he couldn't reach her, because his damn tracking spell kept failing. He needed to find her, take her home, tuck her into bed just like when she was a child and assure her that she was safe.

"My children were attacked on their way back home," Rumplestiltskin told Regina. "Rose is missing."

Roland immediately felt dragged into the conversation. Truth be told, he was just a little bit afraid of the Dark One when he appeared, storming into the dining hall, screaming at Regina despairingly, but now the boy found himself worried. Gideon and Rose had been attacked on the road, and she had disappeared. Rumplestiltskin's daughter was gone and if he couldn't find her, then Roland was afraid no one could.

"There is clearly a reason why I don't use normal ways of traveling anymore." Regina said, contemplatively. "Magic is safer, and that's why my children are here today."

"Let me see it," Roland said, standing up, daringly grabbing the scarf from the Dark One's hands. Using a tracking spell, he let it flow away through the window. "It's working."

"I'm not dumb, boy." Rumplestiltskin replied harshly. "It works, but only takes me to the road where the carriage was left."

Roland shrugged, unaware of how dangerous it could be. "You said it wasn't working."

"Do you like green?" The Dark One asked, taking a threatening step towards him. "Because I'm thinking about turning you into a big green toad."

"Hey! Get the hell away from him!" Regina yelled, putting herself between them, standing protectively in front of her son. "So, she is not in the road?"

"Obviously not," he remarked stiffly, in an impish tone.

Regina sighed, sharing a quick glance with Veronica before walking to a covered mirror in a corner of the hall.

"Alright, I have no idea what could be happening with this magic, but I know someone that can help us," pulling away the fabric that was covering it, she used her magic to find exactly the person she was looking for, and the mirror showed them a full view of her sister's chambers in Oz. "Zelena!" Regina shouted/

Turning around, the redhead smiled widely. "Hello, sis. Long time, no see."

"I talked with you yesterday," Regina said with a roll of her eyes.

Switching between the dresses in her closet, Zelena seemed to think about it for a brief moment. Rumplestiltskin was getting more nervous as each second passed, wishing they would quit wasting time with the small talk.

"Oh, really? I don't quite remember," Zelena hummed.

"I need your help," Regina demanded, ignoring her sister's silliness. "We're trying to use a tracking spell, but it doesn't lead us to the person we're looking for; it only stops in the last place she was seen."

That arrested Zelena's attention.

"Curious," she muttered. "I'll do some research and call you later."

Throwing a black cloak on the table, she disappeared from their view, causing the imp's blood to boil in his veins. Was she thinking that they were idiots? This was an extremely serious situation and they had no time to waste.

"Research?" He repeated, stupefied. "If I wanted to do any damned research, I would go home and spend some time in Belle's library."

"Look, calm down a bit - " Regina started.

However, Rumple wasn't the only one drowning in concern. Roland was fearing for his girlfriend as much as her father was and all he wished was to find her and to take her somewhere safe.

"No, mom, he is right. Something terrible could be happening to Rose while we discuss this. We need to go after her," the boy said, before looking up at Rumplestiltskin. "I'll go with you, my lord. We shall do this the old way and search the woods."

"You're not going," the dark-haired woman forbade.

"We lost a member of this family this year, and I'm not going to risk losing another" Robin whispered to her, massaging her shoulders. "I'm going."

"You requested my presence?" Rose asked, entering the throne room, followed by the two guards that were designated to keep an eye at her at all times.

King Maurice coughed, looking even more ill than he had on the day prior, the bags under his eyes darker and his skin paler. She knew it wouldn't be long before death reached him, and Rose feared for what it meant for herself.

"Yes," he answered with difficulty, his breathing out hard as if he had just run for hours. "It's difficult to associate you with that monster. You're not like your brother, you look like my daughter."

That was probably the thing that most bothered her in the whole world, people labeling her family, judging without knowing a real thing about their lives. She, Chip, and Bae didn't receive the same looks everyone shot at Gideon and Colette, but it didn't make it less horrible, because for Rose, if you hurt her, you were hurting them too.

"My father is not a monster, nor is my brother," Rose remarked defensively.

It was like she hadn't said a thing. Maurice still analyzed her with cold eyes and his men still seemed to feel repulsed to know that she was the Dark One's daughter. Incredible how a simple bit of knowledge can change everything, because she was pretty sure that if they didn't know who her father was, they would've treated her as any commoner.

"Does she live?" The King questioned. "Belle."

Narrowing her eyebrows, Rose started to play with the hem of the sleeves of her gown. She was dressed like a princess should, in fine satin, adorned with small diamonds that should cost more than most things in that hall – and probably in the whole castle too – since everything seemed to be old and decadent, which probably explained the fact that Avonlea was falling, just like it's King. The throne had no heir but the only daughter that Maurice had disowned.

"Why wouldn't she? My mother is a healthy woman, protected by the most powerful sorcerer of these lands," Rose replied.

"He ruined her," Maurice said, bitterly, "made her a whore."

And there was that sick dirty word again that he insisted on using to define her mother. It angered her to hear it, because Belle was a respectable lady, and the fact that she and Gideon had been born before their parents had gotten married didn't change that, nor made their father a worse man.

"You definitely don't know my mother," Rose snorted. "I'm sorry that you don't, because she is an amazing person and she fiercer than you think. She is nothing like you and she would be disgusted to know that after all this time you're still a close-minded person."

A slap hit her face before she could react, and even though Maurice was severely ill, he was still strong enough to make her lose her balance and almost fall to the floor. Rose touched her stinging cheek, her heart plummeting in her chest under her grandfather's spiteful gaze.

"Little demon's offspring, speaks just like her father. I'll teach him how it feels when you lose a daughter," he hissed vexingly.

"Trading your granddaughter like she is a slave won't change the fact that you and I are still blood," she retorted, eyes burning with tears, "and do what you wish with me, they have three other children at home, one which is a girl, that has the Dark One's skin, your daughter's eyes and was named after your deceased wife."

"Colette," Maurice mumbled, before storming out. "How dare he? How dare she use her mother's name on a child of the darkness!"

The real question was: how could he talk this way about his own grandchild? Rose was shaking with pure anger, because the world was so black in white for this man that he would die without accepting his own family. She could see why some days her mother would just stand near the windows, looking at the landscape, her gaze always distant, grieving over her father's judgment.

"You're going to die, King Maurice. I've seen it many, many times in my visions, a power inherited from this man you curse so much," Rose told him, before adding one last pleading: "Make peace with your daughter before it's too late."

Maurice shook his head. "Belle died the day she chose that beast."

"Then you shall regret it, until your last breath," she dispelled. "Because in your ignorance, you've barred from your life the most precious thing you had, your own daughter. And in your anger, you didn't even mind of asking for my name."

Making a curtsey for him, with all the petulance she had, Rose conjured the sweetest smile she could muster, even though she felt wrecked inside, then she turned around, letting the guards escort her through the double doors, the King's voice halting them.

"Wait," he asked. "What is it?"

"Rose," she simply stated, before disappearing.

Agathe was tired of all the drama surrounding the Dark Castle. She was certainly upset that her master was away, and she had no chance to use the lust potion Lady Heart had given her to get to him. And what aggravated her even more was the fact that she had been designated to babysit Colette the whole day, while Dove got Chip and milady Belle spent all her time by Gideon's side, like he was a child.

The maid thought it all to be absurd, since the boy was almost completely healed, and having to keep an eye on that insolent brat that blinked her perfect blue eyes to everyone and got everything she wanted. Colette followed her around the castle, attentive and clever, asking questions that seemed to be out of the reach of a five-year-old girl, so when Agathe got really tired of her, she climbed up the stairs with her little green-gold hand tucked in hers.

She crossed the hall and knocked on Gideon's door. "Milady, may I come in?"

Belle opened the door very slowly, not wanting it to produce any sound that could wake up her precious boy. Agathe entered the room with Colette jumping excitedly behind her.

"Yeah, just don't make too much noise," the lady said in a whisper, pointing at the bed. "He's sleeping."

"Mama!" Colette exclaimed, stretching her arms and silently asking to be picked up from the floor.

"Hey, baby girl, I thought you would be playing," Belle greeted her cheerfully.

Belle walked towards the armchair where she had been snuggled in and sat with her daughter curled on her lap. Colette laid her head on her mother's shoulder, toying with the ringlets of her hair.

"I want to play dolls, but there is no one to play dolls with me," the little girl complained.

Rolling her eyes, Agathe leaned against the wall. She used to like the younger children, but lately, everything they did bothered her, maybe because she never had stopped to think how annoying they were, or maybe because she was trying to get used to the idea that if Lady Heart's plan succeeded, they would all be dead at some point.

"I brought the soup." From the opened door, came Mrs. Potts, holding a tray with a plate and a spoon, a smile on her lips, until the moment her glance fell to her. "Oh, hey, Agathe. The treasure room needs cleaning, I guess I've said that earlier."

"I was watching Colette," the blonde maid said with a shrug.

"Well there is no need to do it anymore," Mrs. Potts answered, placing the tray on the nightstand. "I'll look after her, now you go."

Huffing, she left the room, slamming the door shut behind her, which made Belle's eyes narrow with annoyance. That maid was really starting to irritate her, and she thought that Rumplestiltskin might be right about her after all.

"What is wrong with her lately?" she asked Mrs. Potts.

"You don't want to know it right now, milady," the chubby maid answered, shaking her head.

All that noise, caused Gideon to wake up, slowly opening his eyes, attempting to sit up. Belle stood up, still holding Colette and sat herself by his side, helping her boy recline himself against the pillows.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Sore," Gideon said with a strangled breath.

"I guess you're supposed to," Belle muttered, caressing his hair, "but you're already seeming to be better than yesterday."

Colette slipped from her lap to sit on Gideon's, making a sound of pain leave him when her elbow hit his abdomen by accident. Belle reached to take her back, but he only waved a hand, assuring her that everything was alright.

"Gid, Agathe said a bad man hurt you," the little girl mumbled.

"Yeah, that is true, wee one," he affirmed.

"That bad man has Rosie?" she asked.

Gideon's lips tightened in a thin line and his brown eyes stared down at his sister for a long moment before he could manage to mutter an answer. "I don't know."

"I want her to be back and play dolls with me," Rose added.

Sensing that it was time for the little girl to stop speaking, and causing her brother to feel even more guilty than he was already feeling, Mrs. Potts walked towards them and offered her hand to Colette.

"Colette, darling let's play in the gardens with Chip," the maid proposed, taking her out of Gideon's chambers and leaving him alone with his mother.

When the door closed behind them, Belle cast him an apologetic look.

"She's been a little whiny lately," Belle explained, before grabbing the tray that was on the nightstand and placing it in front of him. "Mrs. Potts brought you some soup."

"Thank you," Gideon smiled, taking the spoon and drawing the broth to his lips. "It's delicious."

Belle's heart felt a little lighter to be talking to him and his full green-gold colour had come back to him, and he wasn't looking so paler anymore. A part of her mind went back to the day Gideon had been born, and she almost could see that small squealing thing in her arms. Her whole world had changed in that moment she held her son for the first time, and suddenly didn't belong to her anymore, but it was devoted to her child, who now was a man, taking all the risks life offered.

"I'm so glad to see you looking a little stronger. You scared me to death yesterday, Gid," she said, full of motherly concern.

"I am sorry, mama," he said taking her hand and bringing it to his lips so he could press a kiss to the back of it. "I hate to see you so concerned."

"It seems it is my duty to be concerned all the time," she replied with a small chuckle. "It's what a mother does."

Letting her hand fall back to her lap, Gideon kept eating his soup in silence, under his mother's lovely watch. He was lost in a torrent of thoughts, in his own concern over Rose's safety and it took him a while to be able to speak again.

"No word from papa?" he asked hopefully.

"Not yet," Belle shook her head, taking a deeper breath, "but he is not coming home without your sister."

He wasn't sure if he should tell her his next information, but Gideon never liked to keep secrets from his mother. He'd been dating Roderick without her consent and it was one of the most daring things he'd ever done, telling himself each day that he was only waiting for the right moment to reveal it all to her and his father. But as much as Gideon was afraid of telling them about his personal life, he was even more terrified to share something that would change things for their family, however he gathered all the courage he had.

"Mama," Gideon started. "When I was fighting with the man who attacked us, he told me that he was doing it to send a message to father."

"A message?" Belle repeated with a frown.

"Yes, that his days as the Dark One are nearly over."

"Someone is planning to kill him," she concluded with fear shinning in her eyes. "Oh, gods," she spoke clasping her hands over her mouth, panic stricken.

Pulling his tray back to the nightstand, Gideon opened his arms, letting his beautiful, kind mother lay her head against his chest.

"Whoever is planning this will fail," he said. "You'll see."

Belle took a deep breath, finding herself unable to believe him. "Will we ever be safe?"