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gallusrostromegalus · 8 months

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I haven't seen any dog stories in a while. How are Charleston and The Hanukkah Goblin doing?

Dog updates!

The first one is a little sad, but also how life should go. Arwen is 14 now and while she's still moving, eating, pooping and generally enjoying life, she also has canine dementia and sundown syndrome where she gets extremely nervous and her dementia gets worse after dark. She'll be with us for a while yet, but it's something we have to manage now.

One person who is very much helping her manage is Herschel. My parents are traveling a lot while they still have the knees for it so I spend a lot of time up at their house, and Charleston and Herschel come up too. Being a Corgi, Herschel likes to manage things, and Arwen would like someone to manage things for her so he's become her self-appointed guide dog.

When I call the dogs for food or outside, he goes and finds her deaf ass and herds her to the location. Normally she doesn't go outside after dark but when the boys are there she's willing to wait for Charlie to chase away anything that might be lurking out there, and then follow Herschel's ass around the yard at night.

Very literally.

She's also got cataracts forming and I think his bright white backside is easy for her to see in the dark, so she follows it around.

During daytime walks she sees well enough but neither she nor Charlie are fans of strange off-leash dogs running up to them (a regrettably common problem out here. I don't care if your dog is friendly MINE ARE NOT!), so both of them prefer to walk half a pace behind Herschel so his more socially adept and knife-filled face is out front to intercept any unwanted solicitors. This does tend to give people the opposite impression though- because he is so much shorter, Herschel gives the impression of a tiny, charming mafioso flanked by his two large and surly bodyguards.

Like, they absolutely would kill a bear for him.

But Charlie and Arwen would also try to kill a bear on general principle.

At night, when Arwen barks at shadows, Herschel runs up and stand between her and the alleged menace, and does his best to look large and intimidating and for as silly as he looks, he does have a very good growl. After a moment, when the alleged bear or congressman or other horror fails to appear, he will stick his nose into the offending shadow, and finding nothing, be satisfied that their joint effort has successfully chased the problem off, and report back to her. This, more than anything else, seems to alleviate Arwen 's fears.

I guess we all just need someone to take us seriously when we're frightened.

Charleston, meanwhile, has gotten into giving safari tours of the front range's small vertebrates.

After eight years of managing his exceptionally high prey drive, something clicked earlier this summer and instead of immediately lunging his whole face at any approximately bite-sized animal in an attempt to expedite it's journey into his stomach, Charlie has started *pointing* at things until I come look at them and tell him he's a good boy. This started with a mole, something he'd never seen before and that moves above ground in a strange way, so he wasn't sure about eating it, so he only alerted at it. "GOOD BOY!" I shouted, giving him all the cuddles. "GOOD SPOT! GOOD JOB NOT EATING IT!"

It's important to reward behavior you want to see.

Since then, he's been trying out pointing at small creatures in the grass and then making very pointed eye contact with me until I come look at them. This is a little tricky when walking both dogs because Herschel is still very much in his "inhale wildlife" phase, but usually I can lock the little gremlin's leash and go look at whatever Charlie has cornered while Herschel attempts to develop telekinesis to will the critter into his mouth.

So far, Charleston has found: a baby rabbit, several baby rabbits in a cluster, an adult rabbit with Jackalope virus, several voles, several moles, a fledgling owl, only the two mice, several mouse-sized grasshoppers and cicada, someone's pet rat (the person was searching within earshot and 'Socks' was collected forthwith), a beanie baby that had me fooled for a hit minute too, a marmot which I didn't know lived down here, a groundhog which I didn't know lived up here, a mink, so many toads, a wild turkey chick, so many more garter snakes and last night, an aquatic shrew.

I don't know if there's an Audubon Society for small things that scuttle around in the undergrowth, but I am inclined to join solely to get Charleston recognition for his service in surveying them.

#dogs #Charleston Chew #Arwen the crime dog #Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin #family lore

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frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe · 8 months

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just a little something for the darling @yournowheregirl to wake up to! it sounds kinda dumb and insignificant, but i always appreciate your tags in the fun tag games that come across your dash and for always being one of the first that ask something from those ‘ask me’ posts i reblog! it makes me feel appreciated and i am super grateful every time 🥰🫶🥹

There was meant to be two beds.

Steve specifically got a double king room for the goblins, and another room with two queens for him and Eddie.

So of course as soon as they got into Milwaukee the night before the D&D themed nerd fest, the (actually very nice) woman at the front desk says: “We had to swap around the rooms, but the two will still sleep all you boys, don’t worry!”

Whatever. That’s fine, right? They’ll all have a spot to sleep the next two nights they’re here for the kids’ (and Eddie’s) dragon game convention.

He gets back to their rented minivan and passes the key cards to Eddie in the passenger seat.

The van was just the first point of contention between him and the kids’ beloved Dragon Meister, followed closely by…everything else.

The first thing Eddie said when Steve showed up in the rented van was “King Steve is coming along on our journey?”, to which Steve could only respond with “This ‘super cool’ guy you assholes have been going on about this whole time is Eddie “The Freak” Munson? Really?”

Following closely behind are: the tapes and tapes of loud garbled ‘music’ Eddie insists on playing, his absolutely tragic way of unwrapping Steve’s burgers for him when they stop for lunch, the wariness Steve has in the first place about this being the guy Dustin wouldn’t stop talking so highly about…this nerdy, obnoxious, third-time senior…great.

“204 is the Hellions’ room, 207 is us.”

Eddie bends an arm backwards into the feral beast enclosure the second two rows have become over the last six hours and Steve’s surprised he still has his hand when it returns to the front.

Steve gets the van parked in the hotel’s garage, and they head up to their rooms.

“Alright, assholes,” he says to the somehow still rambunctious masses, “This is you guys, Make sure you’re up by eight so we—“

“Yeah Steve, we got it,” Dustin scoffs, “As if we’d risk being late to this.”

Steve rolls his eyes with a “Fine, goodnight.” and shuffles the few steps across the hall to his and Eddie’s door, leaving the troops to file into theirs.

The only thought in his head is of laying down and getting the fuck to sleep. It wasn’t even that late but—

“Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.”

So that’s what brings them here. To their one barely queen sized bed.

“I guess I’m on the floor then, huh?”

“I’m not about to let you sleep on the floor.”

“Oh, the King has chivalry does he?” Eddie rolls his eyes and throws his duffle onto the armchair in the corner.

“As much as you, asshole; I just want you to have the energy to corral the gremlins tomorrow.” Steve scrubs a hand down his face. “Look, we’ll just deal with it tonight and I’ll get another room tomorrow.” he lies. As if he’s got the cash for that.

Eddie looks him over, and seems to come to whatever conclusion he needs to because he says “Fine, but you better not be a blanket hog.”

Eddie’s the worst blanket hog Steve’s ever had the displeasure of knowing.

He thought Robin was bad, but this is something else.

Eddie’s fully a burrito within an hour of laying down. After a hearty, but silent, game of tug of war over the worn duvet.

Steve falls asleep angry and cold, and wakes up on a cloud.

He’s so warm and so entangled in the comforter, he can’t help but snuggle deeper into the pillow he’s clutched onto.

The pillow hums back at him and scoots itself under his chin with a sigh.

Steve squeezes tighter onto the pillow momentarily, but his curiosity of why his pillow’s making noise gets the better of him.

He cracks his eyes open, looking down at the thing in his arms.

It shifts as well, and Eddie Munson blinks up at him with those (holy shit…beautiful, deep, dark) doe eyes of his.

“Hi.” Steve breathes.

Eddie’s eyes flutter shut, and shuffles himself back into Steve’s neck.

Steve chooses to blame the still sleepy bit of him for curving himself back around Eddie.

“How’d you sleep?” Steve whispers into the now-bared hairline under the other man’s bangs.

“Fucking amazing…” Eddie mumbles, snaking an arm over Steve’s waist and settling a hand in the middle of his back. “How ‘bout you, Stevie?”

“Stevie, huh?” Steve chuckles.

It’s only then that Eddie seems to come to his senses, his head shooting up before he scrambles away, falling straight onto his back between the opposite side of the bed and the wall with an “Oof!” and a “Fuck!”

“Oh shit!” Steve shuffles off the bed and helps Eddie back up, ”You alright, Eds?”

“Yeah..yeah, I’m fine..” Steve gets Eddie back on his own two feet and (reluctantly) lets him go once he’s stable.

‘Reluctantly? Why reluctantly? What the hell??’

“Sorry I was all over you, not the greatest thing to wake up to, huh?” Eddie says, huffing a sardonic laugh under his breath.

Steve hums nonchalantly, “It wasn’t all bad, I slept pretty fucking amazing too.”

Eddie hums an acknowledgment, then: “I wouldn’t—“ Eddie starts at the same time Steve says “I should—“

“You go ahead,”

Eddie’s hands come up between them, spinning the rings on his fingers nervously. “I was going to say that…I.. Iwouldn’tmindifyoustayedtonight..too.”

Steve blinks. “Good thing I was going to say that I really should save my money.”

Eddie’s smile is slightly nervous, but there’s a hopeful tinge to it that Steve can only assume means what he thinks it does (hopes it does).

“Leaves me with more to spend on the Gremlins, right?” he shrugs.

Eddie beams. “Glad to know we’re on the same page, Harrington.”

also, if you haven’t heard it recently: Alice, YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 🤩

#and there was only one bed #oh nooo what ever shall they doooo #be pleasantly surprised by the company of the other in that bed 😏#that’s what #also ps i looked it up so it’s accurate #gencon is the dnd convention and between 1985 and 2003 it was held in milwaukee #about 4 hours from indianapolis #so +2 hours for hypothetical additional time from hawkins #in my head this is a trip just before school starts in 1985 since gen con was aug 22-25 that year #dw about the logistics of the party’s parents letting them go lmao #maybe the party meet eddie at a the local game store and somehow convince steve and their parents to let them go before the year starts #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #st #st ficlet #steddie ficlet #noelle writes

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amelee23 · 1 year

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Stray kids and their sneaky love antics | Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Stray kids members X reader (reader is implied to have periods in Felix's part but other than that no pronouns are used)

Genre: Fluff, comedy, bullet point

Warnings: sNeAkY bois, pranking and blaming it on ghosts, lino opens your bags without permission, overprotective behavior (??), they're all playing dumb, Jeongin is one feisty boy, periods, food (sweets) , lots of TEASING

Length: 2k total

A/N: It's all just for fun I swear 😂 I couldn't sleep last night so I came up with this lmao

Chan who always puts spare change in your jacket pockets

Maybe he noticed how you always seem to freeze on the spot or apologize awkwardly every time cashiers ask you if you have any change

Or maybe this is just his way of giving you money in a way you don't notice so you won't scold him for spoiling you (again)

You don't notice it at first, but you do breathe a sigh of relief when you actually do have some coins on your next purchase

And the next one...

And the next one after that...

Okay hold up, what the-

Is your jacket pocket an endless well of fortune??? You're taking out coins but they keep coming back???

Nah just joking of course you realized it was Chan

Especially since one day you caught him, like a gremlin in the dark, hovering around your jacket in the hallway

"Whatcha doing, boo?"

He jumps and tries to splutter some excuse to you but you're not impressed

"Ah, I wanted to ask you, do you have some spare change by any chance?" You tease him and he bursts out laughing and turns beet red

"You caught me!" He exclaims, still laughing as you drag him out of the dark to cuddle with you

"You sneaky coin goblin" you tease him further and ruffle his hair

────────── · · · · ✦

Lee know who always puts packets of sweet biscuits in your purse/ backpack

It's a habit for him, he's a caretaker - packets of snacks for all of his kittens (you included)

You told him you liked those packets of biscuits you bought from the supermarket last time

And you told him you get hungry often when you're not home

1+1=2

Lino buys biscuits. Lino puts said biscuits in your bag. And then he acts like nothing happened, of course

So when you come home one day, and look inside your bag and go "oh, how'd this get here?" he shrugs his shoulders.

"Aren't they yours?" And you're like sir what

"No? Maybe someone put them in my bag by mistake?"

"No no I'm pretty sure they're yours." He answers and you're like. Oh. I see how it is.

"And you had absolutely nothing do to with them, right?" You tease, and he purses his lips and shakes his head no

"Well then if they're mine, let's eat them!" You explain, and Lino snatches them out of your hand lmao

"No, I'm pretty sure they were there so you can eat them when you get hungry outside."

"Wow it's so weird you know that considering you had nothing to do with them!" Oh he's trying so hard to keep a straight face but he's failing

So you put them back in your bag and actually keep them as an emergency snack. And then send lino a pic with the empty foil saying "thank you <3" and he literally replies with "thank the ghosts not me. I told you I had nothing to do with it."

The ghosts continued to put biscuits in your bag

────────── · · · · ✦

Changbin who always carries around a fanny pack with a tiny bottle of water inside in case you get thirsty outside

Changbin often showcases his care for others by looking after their health

Sometimes he can be a little irritating and pushy, always telling you to exercise and eat this and that and what not

You came to a compromise eventually, you're not gonna work out with him but you're gonna go out often and go on many walks

After all it's quality time, right?

But no no the mans come prepared

Always. Wether it's an intended walk for exercise or a walk for romantic vibes or you're going to the mall, doesn't matter

He always has that teeny tiny water bottle with him just so he can go like "you thirsty? I gotcha babe" lmao

Because as Changbin always says, "soda doesn't help with your thirst, only water does" 🙄

He's no fun sometimes but you still love his overbearing ass <3

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Hyunjin who "accidentally" gets paint on the clothes of his you like sleeping in so that you could keep them

They say there's two stages to falling in love with a man

First, you fall in love with him.

Second, you fall in love with his clothes

And oh boy that hoodie of his was looking mighty fine that evening

And the evening after

Hyunjin could swear you growl louder than Kkami if he tries to take his clothes back

Well then oOps. He mighty have accidentally painted wearing that hoodie and might have accidentally stained it with paint (weird that the stain looked like it was made with a brush, huh.)

You were like, "Oh no! We can wash it??" And he was like this paint is really hard to get out of the material, so you just HAD to keep it as your sleeping hoodie now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But then it just so happened you also caught a crush on a shirt of his one day

How'd that one also end up stained with paint???

A whole ass mystery

But oop looks like that shirt can't be worn outside anymore either, what a shame.

Hyunjin smiles to himself as he sees the collection of his clothes that are purely reserved for you, sitting on the shelf he's dedicated to you.

They're just clothes after all. Objects. He doesn't care about them, he can replace them. But you're everything to him

────────── · · · · ✦

Han who always comes up with new nicknames and endearment terms, each one sweeter than the other

You can't lie. At first it was kinda cringe

The way he was all like "ah, my sweetie honey poo, my shiny golden angel, the first ray of sunshine of spring warming up my heart"

Ok, dork lmao

But they always made you laugh

And he loved seeing you happy

Some days he wouldn't do it and you'd instantly notice

It became a necessity, okay? To hear what ridiculous, creative mishmash of words he could throw your way

So you'd go outta your way to ask him, "so what am I to you today?"

And Jisung's brain is buffering "Uh, my lover?"

"Just your lover? What happened to being as soft and sweet as creme brulee?" He said that once. Yep.

And his eyes light up! He scoots closer and picks up your hand to kiss it

"You're the reflection of everything I hoped I could deserve in this world. My crystal ball of good fortune"

How does he keep coming up with these, nobody will ever know

But your goofy lyrical genius will do anything for you

────────── · · · · ✦

Felix who knows your menstrual cycle by heart and always carries pads with him

It's not that Felix paid extra attention to when you were talking about your period. He just ALWAYS paid attention to what you said

He's a man of detail

So he was listening to you, always offering to help you out with whatever you were craving or needing, and eventually he began to note down your cycle in his calendar and that somehow lead to preparing in advance every month

With snacks, asking you if pms is bothering you, if you're irritated, hungry etc

And of course he'd buy you pads for the house that's just a granted

But on top of that he also had an extra pack at his place from which he'd take one or two pads and put them inside his backpack for emergencies

He'd advise you to check if you can take days off in case the pain is too bad

And he won't push you to go out AT ALL

It's like he had two modes: boyfriend mode and older sister mode 😂

All in all he's not afraid to put in effort and he's a literal angel I'm telling you

────────── · · · · ✦

Seungmin who keeps putting candy in the pockets of your pajama pants

This one started out as a prank

He had no other choice but to get a couple of candy because the shop he bought from had no change to give him

And he won't just give you the candy, duuh

You had a habit of throwing your pajama pants on the back of a chair

His eyes landed of them and the plan locked in his head

He literally sat there and watched you put on the pants clueless. And then he URGED YOU to come to bed exasperatedly

But you were uncomfortable??? Something was poking your leg??

You take out the candy and squint at it in the dark

"What is this doing here?"

"I know right, why do you have candy in your pajamas, you weirdo."

Oh THE GLARE you gave him

Seungmin had an epiphany that night. That messing with you is fun. Oh boy.

He waited before doing it again, of course. He had to keep you on your toes

But this time you caught on the moment you pulled up the pants up your leg

"Kim Seungmin!" You exclaimed while laughing and he feigned innocence yet again. You still haven't eaten the candy from last time, so with a bunch of candy in your hand, you dropped them on the bed and began unwrapping one as you guys watched Netflix

"If you keep buying them, let's at least eat them, you fiend."

"Ew I don't want your gross pant candy." But he ate it after you thew a pillow in his face

But one time he put an entire candy cane in there and it was just jutting out of your pocket like a Christmas stocking and you literally broke into a laughter fit for 15 minutes straight

────────── · · · · ✦

Jeongin who will pick a fight with any person who interrupts you while you're speaking

Jeongin began to get angry on your behalf ever since you started dating

He's usually so calm, so chill

But suddenly!! if someone messes with his baby say goodbye calmness

That one guy who closed a door in your face? Literally scolded a stranger for closing a door in someone's face like that

God forbid someone pushes you on the street

He will literally sit there and teach people manners lmao

But if there's one thing about manners he hates, it's being interrupted while speaking

But if YOU get interrupted while you're speaking?

W a r

"Do you need to clean your ears? Someone was speaking."

Literally how DARE THEY interrupt his sweet angel

You could literally be talking to him about pigeons and he'd still think it's the most important thing he's ever heard

The amount of times he's sassily shushed people so you'd be able to finish one goddamn sentence

He's so disappointed in society, can you tell?

────────── · · · · ✦

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valeskafics · 8 months

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Mamma Mia - Chapter Seven: When All Is Said And Done (Aemond Targaryen x Reader, Modern AU) - FINALE

A/N: another series finished! thank you for all the love you've shown this fic, i adore each and every one of you beautiful souls ❤️

Summary: Laena's party goes just about as drama free as you expect it to go.

PAIRINGS: Aemond x Reader, Past Aegon x Reader, Past Jace x Reader

Word Count: 1,500

TW: profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, fluff

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of the Dragon/Fire and Blood characters nor do I claim to own them.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated ❤️

As Laena’s party kicks off, you’re only mildly horrified when the Spider-Man impersonator introduces himself as Daeron Targaryen.

“You’re not related to Aegon or Aemond, right?” you ask hopefully, mentally crossing your fingers.

The blond breaks into a wide smile, blue eyes dancing with delight, “I am, actually! I’m the youngest sibling of us four. Do you know my brothers? I know they’ve spent some time on the island.”

��Oh boy, have they,” Cregan mumbles, earning a sharp glare from you, Sara, and Baela, “Sorry.”

When Aegon, Aemond, and Jace enter the party, you decide to be calm and not make a scene, especially when you see Laena run up and greet all three of them with big hugs and a sweet smile. You watch as each of the three men light up, handing her presents that they’ve brought from the mainland, the scene tugging at your heartstrings ever so slightly. You feel Sara come up beside you and take one of your hands, resting her head on your shoulder, while Baela does the same on your other side. You smile at both of them, grateful for their and Cregan’s presence. You don’t think you could’ve pulled this off without them.

You feel Aemond’s gaze on you as you point your daughter out to Daeron, the two of you talking animatedly. Aemond resists the urge to roll his eye at the way Daeron glances behind you to give Baela the most obvious once-over he’s ever seen in his life. Maybe it’s even a twice-over.

You all smile and laugh as Laena, Sophie, Donna, and the rest of the kids get their pictures with Daeron, beat the shit out of a Green Goblin shaped piñata, and play a game of Pin-the-Tentacle on Doc Ock. Laena’s little friends, knowing the absolute gremlin she is, decide to let her win, snickering to each other as they watch her cackle with delight as a crown is placed on her head.

“Gods, she really is your kid,” Cregan teases, earning an elbow to the gut from you on one side and Sara on the other, “Ow!”

The time comes for the cake to be cut. You look over at Aemond to find him looking over at you, hopefully, Aegon and Jace as well.

“Let’s have Mom come over by the birthday girl to cut the cake,” Baela declares, looking at you.

“And we’ll have Laena’s dad as well. He’s here.”

The adults in the room, plus Laena, Sophie, and Donna all collectively gasp, looking at each other.

“I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know how to explain it,” you turn to your daughter, resting a hand on her head.

“You don’t need to, I’m the one who invited them,” she says, grinning broadly.

“Wait, that’s not possible because I don’t know which one of them it is.”

At that point, Aegon, Aemond, and Jace notice that all three of them had been walking over to stand at your and Laena’s side, their eyes comically widening.

“Man, this is like an SNL skit,” Daeron snorts, tossing an arm around Baela, “So, uh, you wanna be my MJ?”

“No, I’d rather be Gwen,” she deadpans, “Dead and away from you.”

His jaw drops, “Damn, that was harsh…”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Aemond says, walking up to you, Cregan, Daeron, the girls, and Laena, “So you mean to tell me Laena might be mine, but she could also be Aegon or Jace’s?”

“You don’t get to say shit-”

“Language, Mommy,” Laena smirks, “A dollar in the swear jar.”

You bite back your scowl, poking your finger at Aemond’s chest, jabbing it into him, feeling somewhat vindicated at the wince he gives, “You went off and get married. What was I supposed to do?”

“But I didn’t get married!” he retorts, “I came back. For you!”

“You,” you blink owlishly, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I came back,” Aemond repeats, his gaze intense, “And Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum here,” he gestures to Baela and Sara, “Didn’t let me see you. Bet they didn’t even tell you I came back, did they?”

You turn to your two best friends, confused, “B? Sar? Is that true?”

“We didn’t want you hurting her again,” Baela snaps at Aemond, “Do you know how much she cried when you just left?”

“You broke her heart,” Sara chimes in, arms crossed as she glares at him, “So we protected her.”

“I get that,” Aemond says, “I fucked up-”

“SWEAR JAR!”

He jumps slightly at the scream Laena, Sophie, and Donna let out, turning to you, taking your hands in his, “I messed up. I messed up really bad. But you’re the one for me. You’ve always been it for me. I need you to know that. And I guess I didn’t try again because when they said you were off with some other guy-”

“Oh, that would be me,” Aegon mumbles awkwardly.

“Or me,” Jace pipes in, eyes wide, “Wow, this got complicated.”

“So we still don’t know who Laena’s dad is?” Cregan points out.

“Look, I would be grateful to have even a third of this amazing kid as my daughter,” Jace says, kneeling to be at her level, poking her nose, earning a giggle from her.

“You know what?” Aemond smiles, doing the same, pinching her cheek, “Me too.”

“Yeah, I’ll take a third,” Aegon pipes in, setting his beer down, coming over to ruffle her hair, “Oh, um, also Sara and I kinda,” he lets out a little whistle, alluding to just what went down earlier that day.

Sara’s eyes go wide and she turns to you, “Please, please, please don’t hate me-”

“Sara,” you cup her face in your hands, “Baby, how could I hate you? I’m so unbelievably happy for you! You and Egg, it makes total sense!”

“It kinda does, doesn’t it?” she smiles as Aegon comes over, pressing a kiss to her temple.

“Look,” Jace says softly, taking your hand, “You were the first girl I ever loved,” he pauses before giving Cregan a meaningful glance, “And the last.”

Baela leans in and whispers, “Oh my gods, is he a twink?”

“SHHHHH!” you hush her before embracing Jace tightly, “I’m happy for you, Jace. And proud to have you as part of my family,” you embrace Aegon next and then Cregan.

Then it comes time for you and Aemond to settle things once and for all. He sticks his hands in his pockets, gazing at you intently. And you feel like that same girl on the docks eleven years ago when he looks at you. You gaze up at him, taking a step closer to him.

“I’m here, love,” Aemond murmurs, moving to cup your face in his hands, “And I’m not running.”

He pulls a small velvet box out of his pocket, making you gasp as he opens it, a beautiful diamond and sapphire encrusted ring inside, “Aemond?”

“I bought this the day I left to come back to the island,” he tells you, “And I’ve kept it ever since. And I just prayed I’d have the guts to ask you to marry me when I came for Laena’s birthday,” you cover your mouth, tears brimming in your eyes as he looks up at you, holding the box up, “Will you marry me?”

“Oh, say I do,” Sara and Baela squeal, “You have to! Look at him!”

“Come on, you’ve gotta,” Aegon agrees, joining in, “Look at the poor sap.”

“Say I do,” Jace chimes in, Cregan echoing his sentiments.

But you look at the most important of them all.

Laena.

She walks between the two of you, grinning, and joins your hands, “You love him and you know it, Mommy. Say it.”

“Say it!” the rest of the kids start screaming, “I do, I do, I do!”

“I do,” you laugh breathlessly as Aemond slips the ring onto your finger, standing up and pulling you into a kiss, “I do, I do…”

“Gods, this is so romantic,” Daeron sighs, wiping a tear from his eye, earning an annoyed look from Baela, “Almost makes you feel like grabbing someone and kissing them-”

“I’M GAY, DAERON!”

“...Can I introduce you to my sister?”

And after the party is over, and all of Laena’s friends have gone home, you and your daughter sit, surrounded by your friends and family, and the man you love.

As everyone leaves one by one, Aegon and Jace hugging Laena tightly and refusing to get out at first, only leaving at Aemond’s sharp glare, you carry your very tired little girl up to her room, placing her in bed.

Aemond is the one who tucks her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead, the two of you closing the door to her room.

“I’m sorry,” he says earnestly, pulling you into his arms, “For everything.”

“Don’t be,” you whisper, pressing your lips to his, “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

And at the bright, loving smile he gives you, you know you’ve made the right decision.

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon #jace velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x reader #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii #aegon ii x reader #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen #mamma mia fic #my writing

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 1 year

Text

Loki HCs Request

For @strawberryshitcake

General HCs

Goblin Mode 24/7, except when sleeping or if unconscious.

Has definitely gotten knocked TF out before by someone by pushing their buttons too much.

Doesn’t know when to back off when he’s teasing others, except with people he fears or respects, like Odin, and even then, it’s far and few between.

I get mean bisexual vibes from this gremlin, like he will flirt no matter who you are but will also tease TF out of you.

He’s way smarter and more observant than he lets on, shown in his analysis of the battle between Zeus and Adam, or when he was able to determine that Volundr is very similar to Samavadhana in Buddhism.

He’s definitely a trickster and I think he’s way more powerful than he’s letting on.

His battle is definitely gonna be one of the most exciting ones in the series!

I personally want to see Loki vs. Nostradamus, AKA Gremlin vs. Gremlin.

Snack buddies with Buddha, but while Buddha prefers sweets, Loki likes salty snacks more.

I feel like he lowkey wants humanity to prevail, as he is getting a lot of good entertainment in the fights and I feel like he has more curiosity with humans, now that they’ve shown what they can really do.

Relationship HCs

If you are dating him, you need to have either all the patience in the world, be a gremlin just like him, absolutely DGAF about his personality, or be dominate.

I get vibes that he is a switch and is down for anything in the bedroom but is definitely a brat when bottoming and wants to be manhandled and put in his place.

Is a masochist and loves riling you up for angry bedroom fun and will not hesitate to tease you out in public. He knows full well what he’s doing.

One thing he hates, however, is being ignored, if he’s trying to rile you up and get you mad, and you ignore his behaviors, he gets upset very quickly and will usually turn into a good boy for you and apologize but expect lots of pouting afterwards and will expect you to dote on him for being so mean to him.

Very, very, very rarely, he can be very sweet, cuddling, forehead kisses, and hand holding, but usually only in private. If he does this out in public, be warned, as he will start teasing you shortly after.

#record of ragnarok #ror loki #ror x reader

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lupaeusarc · 4 months

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𝘑𝘜𝘚𝘛 𝘍𝘌𝘌𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘗𝘖𝘚𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘝𝘐𝘛𝘠 𝘝𝘐𝘉𝘌𝘚 𝘐𝘋𝘒

i saw some people doing these end of year posts and i'm in a sappy mood so happy holidays and here's some people i adore !!

@stanfordprepped JARED my bestie my love the light of my life you're genuinely one of my best friends and an absolute day one ride or die i can't even describe how much samemma and cassdell mean to me and our other ships are top tier as well i'm so glad i met you and i'll get to updating cassie's aesthetic and bringing some cassdell to the dash right after this 🤍

@carp3diems ceejay . bestie . partner in crime . sounding board for every chaotic thought that goes through my mind . i adore you and our plots and threads and the way i can just hop into your dms like " hey can i traumatize our muses rq " and you're always down lmao you're so talented and i'm just very thankful for you and for colbemma and for all of our chaos

@multi-royalty maddieeeeeee i love you so much my big little sissy 🥹 the only person i'll write em in the tvdu for and the reason i'm still writing at all i owe so much to you and i appreciate that even if we don't talk constantly you know i think you're the bees knees and you make the rpc a better place you absolute ball of sunshine

@stilesstylelinski trick you fuckin goblin i don't know what i would do without our bullshit or your unconditional emotional support you and i have both had a pretty shit year and i'm just really glad we could lift each other up even a little bit throughout all of it . stemma owns my soul and i'm still just in awe of your portrayal okay you basically pull the boy off the screen

@boundforhale MOM mom i love you mom i'm so grateful for you and for the gremlin chat and for all the support and love you give . you're so talented and kind and you need to be NICER to yourself for taking your time with replies i would be happy with a reply a year okay plus derek is a stubborn asshole it wouldn't make sense if he woke up all the time lol when he does he comes out swinging though you knock it out of the park every time

@ruinedmyself twin 🤍 i think you're so neat okay the way your brain works is so fascinating and the love you put into your muses is like palpable you're so cool and so talented and brooklyn and sam are so fucking funny i can't watch the basement yard anymore without thinking of them . i'll make more edits of them soon the accuracy is just so unreal lol

@inkedmuses VVVVVV listen i have such brainrot for john b and emma right now they make me so happy all of our ships are so cute and interesting and i love them so much you have some of the coolest plot ideas ever it's so chaotic and so fun to just yell ideas at each other and bring them to life

@guiltye LILLY i mean i just could yell forever and i will i WILL yell forever i can't even believe how intricate and deep and unique all of our plots are i'm constantly in awe of your mind every time i get a meme or reply from you i'm starstruck i love you and i love yelling about noah with you and i just think you're so fucking cool and so creative and talented and interesting and strong as all hell and you just never fail to make me smile *mandolin playing* you got all my love 🤍

@n0prom1ses lumiiii listen i love these idiot sisters so much already and i think all of our ships and dynamics are so neat 🥹 i'm sad we lost so much time especially knowing why but i'm so glad nature is healing and that sonny is once again dragging asher by the balls bc frankly it's what he goddamn deserves

i could literally go on for hours but i do want to get some things done lmao so here's some more people that my note to is this : i adore y'all and i hope you have the best holidays / new year and that 2024 brings you everything you hope for 🤍

@svnflowehrs , @escapedfromthevoiid , @hellgiven , @qapsiel , @westwingsolo , @r4chelamber , @ofcrxwns , @ofblackskies , @neverrcry , @gunchamber , @controlledvolatility , @sarcasticsnackpack , @localsalt , @fuckmeupindie , @hstoryhuh , @mecwmellc , @surgcns , @unitcd , @unbearablyindifferent

#{ if i missed you i'm sorry and i hope you have the best holidays as well !! }#୧ ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ so when my thoughts take off may i breathe deep ⌗ ooc .#୧ ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ you’ll always be a flower on my skin and the pain that i am in ⌗ mentions .

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buckybarnesss · 9 months

Note

Instead of pack mom let Stiles be the wine aunt (more like uncle)

I mean that’s basically the Liam plot - where Stiles absolutely is on one hand totally second hand embarrassed at Scott’s tries to tell Liam but also totally not being helpful about it at all. Kind of amused actually.

No pack mom‘ing at all.

(Also pls someone needs to do a gif compilation of unhinged stiles moments. Guy voted in favor of murder and torture, has sticky fingers like hell and absolutely admitted that one of the things he fears the most is the power he felt while possessed. This is a gremlin held together by the moral of it being against the evil guys. Like his dad and Scott and the rest are the reason he doesn’t start a judge jury executioner routine on what he deems evil.

I bet the school would vote him „future serial killer‘ every yearbook. )

i talked about this once with @dear-massacre.

stiles wouldn't be drinking wine. stiles in an goblin that is shotgunning a monster with a 5 hour energy chaser while staring you directly in the eye at 8am. he's having heart palpations and visibly shaking but it's fine.

and here's my thing: scott is derek and stiles is peter.

derek sees himself in scott all throughout season 1 and he's so deeply angry at his younger self he has problems seeing scott as scott. scott has misplaced anger at derek because he did not get a choice in becoming a werewolf. he was bitten without consent and thrust into this insane situation. derek's the easy target of all that misplaced anger, confusion and fear. derek's entire approach also wasn't great so scott wasn't responsive to it and constantly caused scott to dig his heels in further.

but peter and stiles? oooh boy. those two are the spiderman pointing meme.

for peter stiles is a mirror that both captivates and disgusts him. they share a cunningness, a similar brilliance that for peter is like narcissus gazing into a water pool but stiles disgusts him too because whereas peter's highest purpose is the continued existence of peter hale stiles isn't nearly as self-serving. he sees that as such a waste. and stiles? stiles doesn't want to be like peter. he says as much when he rejects the offer of the bite. stiles sees peter for what he is and this fascinates peter.

none of this stops stiles from being an unhinged little freak that is kind okay with murder. if not for scott and the sheriff stiles would be more terrifying and beacon hills should be very, very thankful. he advocates for people to die quite a few times and threatens it more than once.

when scott bites liam stiles is so exasperated by the entire situation his soul evacuated from his body because it was embarrassing. scott literally bites liam in a i need more hands situation. when scott gives liam the same line derek says and stiles's is just completely aghast at not only scott's audacity but he's knows how scott reacted to that (but it's the only model scott knows which honey boo no).

stiles was the reluctant step-dad to liam for a good portion of season 4. liam was the kid scott brought into the relationship and stiles was just like

#my blog #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #unhinged goblin asshole boy

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itsyourstarboy · 1 year

Text

KAPOW

✨Angel Oc✨

Angel is finally here in my lineup of listeners!! They are such a cute little gremlin.

Info about them under the cut!

Gingers have no soul 😇

My Angel is named Jesse and uses they/them pronouns

🤘non-binary🤘

5’2”

Look at this androgynous cottagecore cutie <3

They have a size kink, why do you think they immediately started hitting on David when they first met? He’s a foot taller than them.

They are a gremlin. An absolute menace. A chaotic little goblin.

This angel is a devil in disguise.

They snort when they laugh.

Ehehe oink

They make some banger coffee

But they cant cook for the life of them, they either skipped meals or ordered takeout before they met their man.

Now they know how to cook spaghetti, but that’s about it.

They work graphic design. Bedazzle some billboards and all that jazz.

They have a sketchbook that they carry around with them, doodling whenever inspiration strikes.

They sketch David a lot he has really nice face

One of their first dates with Davey was just a literal stroll through the park, and when they both sat in the grass they started sketching.

David didn’t say anything then, but on one of their other dates, when they pulled out their sketchbook, he asked about it.

They let him look through it, and he was a little miffed to find so many sketches of himself...

He wanted to joke about them being a stalker again, but they looked so cute all red in the face. He just looked at them.

“...what?”

“So this is why you’re staring at me all the time.”

50% menace; 50% horny; that is all.

They know how to use a shotgun. Their pops raised ‘em well.

Give Angel Jesse a Gun 2022

They can also do that thing where they throw their spit like 20 yards away.

Don’t tick them off, they can spit in your eye while at the other side of the room.

They like peanut butter. Like, everything peanut butter.

But also they’re allergic to peanuts.

David has gray hairs, someone help

When I tell you that this little shit is a simp, you better believe it.

They might give David a hard time, but they would absolutely do anything for him.

When they started dating and David was mean to them, they were like “thank you, please step on me”

They have adhd. Their mind goes a mile a minute, spinning like some wheel of fortune, landing on some random ass topic.

Topic of conversation: dinner plans

Jesse then immediately needs to talk about the different species of mushrooms

They are besties with Baaabe, given they have similar interests.

Yknow, art, fashion, big wolf bois

They call David “Davey” (obviously), and that’s basically the only pet name they use unless they’re teasing him.

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safetycar-restart · 1 year

Note

Hi hi so I know you’re in a George mood but can we quickly talk more about Charles in the D/S au and him sitting in your lap? Because that’s just the cutest thing ever!!! Him being comfortable enough to just plop down in your lap whenever he wants (often with a dramatic sigh because at the core he’s an attention seeker(affectionate)) and he knows he’ll always get a forehead kiss and a cuddle and he’s just so happy and soft and sweet….-🐬

Aw yes of course we can!!!

So this is something that Charles statue doing once he gets comfortable with you. Charles has always been a very needy, touchy sub, but he’s never had a Dom that made him feel like he’s allowed to reach for affection every time he needed it.

But once he realises that he can do that with you? Yeah he’s an absolute menace. An affection goblin. A clingy demon. A cuddly gremlin.

He just doesn’t see the point in sitting on a chair when your lap is right there. A chair won’t kiss his forehead or cuddle him or call him little one.

So of course he’s gonna sit on your lap whenever he can, cause it’s by far the best option.

Especially after you put his collar on? He’ll bring you the case with his collar when he’s out the car. He kneels for you while you put the collar on, and then immediately crawls up into your lap for some cuddles and a forehead kiss (the forehead kiss is VERY important).

He doesn’t even ask for permission to sit on you lap anymore. He knows he can. He always can. He’s your good boy!! Your little one!! He can always sit on your lap. That’s his spot.

(And I do mean his. Once you were at a party and a drunk person tripped and fell into your lap and you had to take Charles home immediately before he clawed the poor person’s eyes out)

The dramatic sigh is a very necessary part of plopping down on your lap. He needs to make sure that you know how tired and stressed he is and how utterly horrible the past half an hour without you has been. You always roll your eyes at his antics, but he gets cuddles and kisses nevertheless.

It reaches a point where Ferrari even realises? Like if they need Charles to be in the strategy room, then they’ll make you move from where you’re sitting in the garage because they know that if Charles sees you sitting in the garage then there’s no way they’re getting him to the strategy room.

Often you feel like you’re being herded from room to room as bait for Charles? Ferrari knows Charles will just follow wherever you go, plop down on your lap whenever you sit down.

And he’ll listen to whatever the Ferrari people want him to listen to when he’s sitting on your lap, cause he’s so comfy!!!

Also, red flags? That’s sitting on your lap time. Especially because he usually gets really shaken up during red flags, because someone has crashed.

So he just curls up in your lap and gets forehead kisses and cuddles until the race resumes.

There are so many pictures of Charles on your lap it’s actually ridiculous. That’s his official place.

#d/s au #sub!charles #cl #gn!reader #🐬

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greeneyedsigma · 2 years

Note

Do you have anything about the goblins that Luffy and Kid will have?

Yes! Okay so;

Axel and Gears are twins and the oldest. Luffy got pregnant with them during the after-Wano celebrations, meaning she was pregnant during whatever final battles there were. (Vs Blackbeard. Possibly vs Shanks. Most likely vs Im. And Kid almost lost his mind while she was doing it, too) Axel and Gears are both shockingly responsible as the big brothers, but definitely impulsive dumb.

Two years younger than the twins are the triplets (all boys and identical); Rude, Ruin and Riot. Absolute chaos engines. You know the triplets from Brave? Like that. Clever and resourceful. Willing to do shit...for a price. “Want us to cover for you, Blaze? You know the price.” (The price is that she has to do one of each of their chores.) Luffy insisted they at least style their hair differently so she could tell them apart. Red-haired, with their maternal Gram’s green eyes.

Little bit of an Oopsie, Luffy got pregnant with Blaze barely a month after giving birth to the triplets. Blaze is bold, aggressive and moody. Like Kid. She’ll start a fight at the drop of a hat. She looks just like Glory.

Almost 10 years later, because Kid and Luffy need a break after having six under the age of five, Pain was born. Little grump is quiet and moody. Except for his Ma, who he adores and would do anything for *coughcoug*Like Kid*coughcough*. Kid’s little mini-me in appearance.

A four years later, Wrath arrived and in a complete contradiction to his name, he is pure sunshine. Dark-haired, dark-eyed. All of the Monkey D genes that had been distributing pretty lightly through the rest of the gremlins concentrated very suddenly into Wrath.

Another three years later came Fury. Shy and introverted. But despite that, he’s turning out to be the ultimate KidLu combined Chaos Tornado. It's worse because they really don’t expect it from him and actually, for a long time, they don’t even realize it's him. Dark-haired and amber-eyed.

Arma (Armageddon, if you prefer) is twenty-two years younger the Axel and Gears. KidLu is pretty sure she’s the last one. Currently still a bebe, she’s grumpy and fussy. Has Luffy’s colouring.

#one piece #ask response #sigma's one piece au #kidlu babies #kidlu #eustass gears #eustass axel #eustass rude #eustass ruin #eustass riot #eustass blaze #eustass pain #eustass wrath #eustass fury #eustass armageddon

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taags-old-account · 1 year

Text

I posted 22,731 times in 2022

That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!

285 posts created (1%)

22,446 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kydrakinetic

@draal-the-deadly

@theminecraftbee

@talesofarcadiaforever

@pacificwaternymph

I tagged 3,073 of my posts in 2022

#the arson human talks shit - 130 posts

#favourite - 126 posts

#ask game - 116 posts

#ask games - 116 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 74 posts

#gods and hunters - 47 posts

#writing tips - 43 posts

#tales of arcadia - 38 posts

#yes - 32 posts

#:) - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#'don't let her see your power in the daylight' could be a reference to the trollhunter amulet and sword of daylight and how jim needs to hi

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sometimes a family isn't a mom, dad, 2.5 children, and a white picket fence. Sometimes it's:

- A near 1000 year old punk wizard boy who needs a hug.

- A very sarcastic talking cat with poor eyesight.

- A plant goddess.

- An Akaridion warrior queen.

- Her little brother, who gives off pure aroace vibes and can build a mind reader in 2 hours.

- A short gremlin king with a very large conspiracy board.

- A dude who's a fan of hard rock, and has a warhammer.

- A very sassy blue child who needs 10 years of therapy.

- The troll history teacher that tried to kill the sassy blue child 10x over. He's also dating the sassy blue child's mother. Troll dad #2 of sassy blue child.

- The Mother Of The Sassy Blue child. Who for some reason didn't think that something was seriously up with her kid. (Plot Armour.)

- A guy who was there for comedy relief, but somehow got a bully redemption arc.

- Purple punk child who got posessed by former evil sorcerer lady once.

- Troll dad #1 of sassy blue child, he likes reading and burning books.

- A Troll covered in moss, he's the wingman and a former pacifist.

- Former evil sorcerer lady with a similar aesthetic to a Marvel Norse God, but actually had a point.

- Adoptive dad of punk wizard boy. Who says he doesn't care that much. But he cares A LOT.

279 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

It's time for some Empires Propaganda...

Come watch Empires SMP Season 2! We have the following:

A little scrunkly goblin man who lives in caves and likes pickles and scams

A catwoman that actively commits crimes against humanity A totally normal human. Yep absolutely a human

A Princess in a pretty pink tutu that will fight entire monster armies (it's secret though hush)

The Sheriff who's definitely not a toy

The witch that got expelled from the academy for destroying reality as we know it

The Dungeon Master who keeps his dubious amounts of smooth stone inside a tomb

A 5ft 11ft god complex personified whose obsessions include dirty jokes, gold, and the word 'Lore'

A reality traveler who decides that trusting nobody and stealing clothes off of corpses is the best chance at survival

The self-appointed princess who decides to trust the little blue lights leading her into the dark cave is a smart idea to get a kingdom banner.

The hardwood seller, whose adoptive father is part rabbit and whose idea of father-son bonding is animal slaughter

Heterochromia but through nefarious skull means. And he's not straight

Pirate who asks nicely first before stealing any of your belongings

The one-night stand of a child who consistently has to deal with both of his 'daddy's' excessively worse-by-day dirty jokes

286 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

"If your wondering why I use he/him pronouns for the allays, I just think of them as himbos"

Thanks, Pixl for this new mental image /pos

289 notes - Posted August 4, 2022

Despite TOA being done, I am creating propaganda...

Come Watch Tales Of Arcadia! We Have The Following:

A magic amulet, which gives you really cool silver armour and a death sentence!

Cheeky Wizards x4

Murder board created by a small teen who has the ability to 'Tokyo Drift' a car

A literal hacker/Queen of an entire planet

Crispy

Jim Lake Jr, one of the best animated TV protags I've ever seen.

A hellfire of a movie

Magic Siblings :)

A dog who pisses explosions

MMMMMMMM GLORY

*enters Janus Order* *two aliens are playing techno music* *bones are everywhere* TEEN CENTER!!!!!

Getting possessed by eldritch wizards intent on destroying the world is completely normal.... IT'S FINE.

Strangely specific threats.

Really cool CGI animation.

"bUT A GnoMe IN A DOLLHOUSE??"

an insane amount of AUs

Haha what is this sadness? Why is everyone dying? *Play's STARSET's Unbecoming*

I suggest looking up the definition of 'Moppet'

The entirety of the word 'Buttsnack' being used so casually

"SHUT UP STEVE"

The Goblin Revolution

Jim Lake Jr, one second being the definition of a sweetheart. Two minutes later, "Hey Strickler. *spits in his mouth*"

The Breakfast Reckless Club

Steve's screams.

Troll Jim.

Toby being the bestest friend you could ever ask for

The murder of a highschool principal.

Assassins and Bounty Hunters galore.

See the full post

346 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The defining traits of humanity are NOT sex, romance, and empathy.

The defining traits of humanity are our creativity, adaptability, and our boundless amounts of hubris.

As well as arson.

1,730 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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writersmorgue · 2 years

Note

Absofuckinglutely imagine Todoroki personally doing that whole fucking rap and it is great every time. So many people gloss over him being just as sassy and give-no-shits as they come because he's often muted or deadpan about it, but that boy can be extra af when he wants to be. He told a bunch of villains he could literally murder them if he wanted to, he went out of his way to declare war on some other kid at the sports fest and accuse him of being a Pro Hero's secret bastard lovechild on the side, when that kid went psycho mode on him and smiled like a maniac while he broke a bunch of his own bones he SMILED BACK, he called the chief of police a rude name and tried to physically fight him in his own hospital room, he saw some other hot headed snarling gremlin of a child and said "that's my friend". He would absolutely say all that shit in that rap, no doubts.

FORREAL THAT BOY IS A MENACE. Absolute goblin and I love him. As much as i love soft boy Shouto I LOVE feral Shouto. He gives zero shits.

#bnha #shouto todoroki #anon soup

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dungeonsandblorbos · 1 year

Text

Campaign Intros: Acquisitions, Incorporated

Acq, Inc. is a 5e campaign that my husband and i play with more or less the same group as the Amazonomachy (unfortunately one of our players had to drop out after the pandemic struck). we're currently 68 sessions in, and should be wrapping it up in another one or two sessions!

i finally learned how to take good, exceptionally thorough and useful notes, and because we're still playing it, i actually have decent memory of it too! so look forward to detailed story times and lots of memes

~anyway~

the setting

the first part of this story is played out of the Acquisitions, Inc. adventure book, which is based on an actual play podcast of the same name made by Penny Arcade. none of us players have listened to it, so if you're confused, you're not alone! and you really won't miss much by not being familiar with the origin story, as our DM did a good job adapting it for an unfamiliar player group

the two main things you need to know are: 1. a while back there was this big wild magic explosion that caused some chaos and transformed some goblins into a new race, called the Verdan, who are a lot like goblins but taller and smarter and slightly magical 2. there's an adventuring organization called Acquisitions, Inc., which is based in Waterdeep but has smaller franchises scattered around the continent and staffed by smaller, less important adventuring parties. our PCs make up one such party, based in Phandalin. we pay monthly dues and licensing fees in exchange for the HQ paying our employees for us, granting us access to cool gadgets and a treasure trove of information, and lending us the brand name recognition. in addition to our class, we also have a job title that gives us special additional proficiencies, equipment, and abilities. also, we opened up a tea shop (called the Cauldron & Kettle Cafe) at our base to earn a little extra money and help keep up our reputation with the locals. Tim hosts a book club there, and is responsible for the tea blends and recipes it uses. he also designed the menu

the party Cauldron & Kettle Questing Company

Jun Vyardes: my PC! you know her, you met her here. a half-elf light cleric/bard and the party's secretarian, a position which specializes in PR and marketing. serves Vestia, a human goddess of domestic fires and revelry. committed to justice, her goddess, and her friends. so really it's kind of funny that she ended up working for such an absurdly capitalist company. dies her red hair darker so it doesn't look quite so much like her father's

Tim Cobbletoss (born Thokk): my husband's PC! a half-orc barbarian and the party's cartographer, a position that specializes in mapmaking and navigation. he was mostly raised by halflings, which means he has the personality of an old english grandma, just with some minor anger issues and major daddy issues. Jun's half-brother; they share a human father who is an absolutely terrible parent. like Jun, a redhead. family-oriented and very much a romantic. also, very tired. he's a very talented carpenter and woodworker, and wields a hammer named Bonk

Taku: a whooping crane aaracokra and path of the four elements monk. (yes that is a stupidly powerful combination but tbh his super squishiness balances it out. he's been knocked unconscious so many times and even literally died once—it's amazing he isn't constantly concussed!) started as our party's loremonger, but switched partway through to our documancer, a position specializing in contracts and legal mumbo jumbo. a responsible and independent bird who left his family because they wouldn't accept him for who he was (a boy). he's smart and earnest and precious and if anything irrevocable happened to him, Jun would go on a wild revenge spree and then immediately self-destruct

Briny: a Verdan Bloodhunter, and the party's hoardsperson, a position specializing in keeping track of and carrying all of the party's loot. a very sweet and naive little gremlin who's a bit of a personality sponge. loves learning new things, their friends, the sea, and gambling, although they don't actually really know how to gamble. has a stash of seashells that they like giving out as presents. also very precious and must be protected at all costs

Gallus: a half-elf rogue and the party's occultant, a position specializing in being edgy and keeping tally of the party's karmic rating. moody and reserved and wary, and naturally another precious boy we must protect. unfortunately, was reassigned to a different branch partway through the campaign (as his player was no longer able to participate)

important NPCs

Girasol Vyardes: aka Daddy Bard—Jun and Tim's father. a redhead. born to a noble family in Amn, his full name is Girasol Agusto Raúl Maximo Narciso Vyardes Corazón de la Verga, but he hasn't gone by that for quite some time. a wandering, philandering, incredibly vain and hedonistic man, he's unfortunately a talented musician, poet, and fencer, blessed (or perhaps cursed) with a silver tongue. despite his flaws and shitty parenting, he genuinely does love Jun in his own way, and wishes he could have been a better father to Tim—when he even remembers that Tim exists, that is

Lidda Cobbletoss: Tim's adoptive mother. a sweet, blind halfling woman who raised Tim with all the love and devotion and good humor he deserved from a parent. has an elderly tuxedo cat named Hank

Tela and Teleku: Taku's baby twin siblings! they heard about how cool and rebellious their older brother was and also didn't really get along with their conservative parents, so they ran away to try to find Taku—and succeeded! Tela is a girl and hatched first. she's more assertive and energetic, and has been learning how to fight to protect Teleku. she also learned fire stance from Taku's monk friends! Teleku is a boy and hatched second. he's shy and chill and smart, and learned water stance. Jun immediately adopts them as her own baby siblings and, like a good big sister, shows off her own fire magic to them, helps Briny teach them about gambling, and regales them with wildly exaggerated (and sanitized) tales from the party's adventures, which Tela believes whole-heartedly

Gildna Dunn: a timid half-orc woman who serves as the Cauldron & Kettle's major domo (administrative assistant). she also served as its previous inhabitants' major domo

Gorkow: a little goblin friend we picked up along the way of our earliest adventure and hired on as help for the tea shop. he has a giant sword covered in bones that he refers to as his "butter knife"

Minghee "Min" Graywind: an adventurous young human woman we hired to run messages, errands, and trades for us. her mom runs the general store in Phandalin, and does not like that we hired her

Noriel: a sad sap of a mandolin-playing minstrel (aka bard). we took pity on him and ended up hiring him on to help Jun advertise the Cauldron & Kettle's services. eventually, together with Gorkow, Min, and Susan and her dogs, forms our party's B Team

Susan: an unusually intelligent ogre woman who has two big fluffy dire wolves. we hired her on for security gigs, especially helping Min stay safe on the road, and let her and her dogs live in our basement

Ol' Fivesides and company: a crew of modrons gnomes we hired on as engineers and maintenance crew. they made us some automaton training dummies/security bots and a steam-powered tea trolley shaped like a teapot. they're mostly metallic orbs with spindly arms and wings, lead by a cube named Ol' Fivesides who wears a large tricorn hat and an eyepatch; despite their appearance, they insist that they're all just very mechanically minded gnomes. they're a little creepy but they've got the right spirit

Ken: a half-orc, half-ogre, and very sweet spirit, bless his heart. huge—over seven feet tall and about four feet wide at the shoulders. Briny is enamored with how tall he is, and Ken is enamored with how small Briny is, and so they immediately became friends. a talented cook, though his presentation could use some work. the winner of a cooking competition we hosted to find a new chef for the Cauldron & Kettle Cafe

Dorkas Nimblewood: Tim's favorite author. we never actually meet her, but she's nonetheless a very important part of this campaign's lore. she's the genius behind such classic erotic love stories as My Kingdom of Thirst, Beards and Beer: Dripping Ale and Dwarven Daddies, and her newest project, Dancing with Dragons: Domination in the Lair

the plot . . . hook

mistaken for an experienced adventuring group, the five of us were called into investigate a collapsed tunnel in Waterdeep while working as interns for Acq, Inc. in doing so, we found a mysterious but powerful magical object, which seemed to be merely a piece of a larger, even more powerful object. afterwards, we were sent to Phandalin to take over an abandoned Acq, Inc. franchise location and investigate the disappearance of its old party

in time, we began unravelling a dangerous conspiracy—an evil organization called the Six was trying to find all the pieces of a magical orrery and use it to open a rift in the universe to welcome their gods (read: horrible eldritch monsters of the outer realms) to the material plane, and probably bring about the end of everything in the process. and it just so happens that the mysterious but powerful object we found in the collapsed tunnel in Waterdeep was a piece of said orrery

thus began a race against the Six to steal all the pieces of the orrery first and save the universe. no pressure for a few newbie adventurers, right?

#campaign intros #acquisitions incorporated #dnd 5e #Jun Vyardes #Cauldron & Kettle Questing Co.#ttrpg stories #bard is only one letter away from bad #*slaps roof of car*#this bad boy can fit so much found family in it #you can even fit some refound family in there too #look i know this is the third campaign i've used the found family meme tag on #it's just a common theme for campaigns with this group okay?#we're all a bunch of queers (except the dm who is our token straight white man friend) so how could we not put found family in everything?#dnd 5e oc

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lackspraise · 5 years

Text

has marvel forgotten harold theopolis osborn exists ??

#{ i don't think MAIN HARRY OSBORN has shown up for a year almost tbh }#{ lbr he's gonna show up during absolute carnage. maybe almost die twice - }#{ protecting his fucking gremlin child normie or some shit. }#{ listen if norman shows up sure ok fine that makes sense but if we forget that - }#{ harry's OWN SON carried the carnage symbiote and just . . skirt past that - }#{ fact im gonna lose my GODDAMN mind because its the ONLY WAY harry's - }#{ gonna show up this entire goddamn arc / even and im jUST GONNA -- }#{ me sobbing: i miss my stupid haired son and his adorable commentary -- }#{ when he's not goblin or crazy. listen if he GOES GOBLIN during this im -- }#{ gonna tear my hair out but it'd make sense since 99% of the time he does -- }#{ go goblin or done sOME sort of the goblin attire or use equipment is for FAMILY }#{ so it'd make sense i guess wow sorry this became a rant bye }#♙ ⎛ LET THIS BOY REST is a constant phrase of mine | mun ⎠

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izusun · 3 years

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Goblin anon here absolutely screeching over feral quirkless Midoriya, it's everything I wanted

I would like to also introduce a brand (my brand) of feral to Midoriya: pyromaniac.

Imagine Midoriya getting through the entrance exam by saving people, but also by bringing makeshift Molotov cocktails and wrecking almost as much shop as Bakugou.

Imagine the battle trials where Bakugou tries to blow up the building because "that's the only way to keep this little shit down" and in response Midoriya dodges and then sets the building on fire.

Imagine the USJ incident, which goes about the same, but his first instinct is to set the Noumu on fire. Yes he does so. He also nearly sets the stadium on fire at the sports festival so much that they had to evacuate sections of the stadium.

Midoriya (say it with me now) sets Stain on fire. When Tsukauchi meets with the murder trio after the Hosu incident, he just sighs and is like "Midoriya, really?" And this is when we learn that Midoriya has a history of coming across random villains and setting them on fire. When Inko arrives to pick him up she's just like "You're grounded."

There's theories about what Midoriya's quirk, everything from increased intelligence to extremely shitty luck to the ability to make anything he touches explodes (due to his inane ability to make a bomb/lighter out of the most insane things). When it comes out that he's quirkless, it just makes everyone even more afraid, as Midoriya can make a bomb out of some LSD and a rubber duck quirkless-

Pyromaniac quirkless Midoriya.

- Goblin anon

GOBLIN ANON IT’S BEEN AGES IM SORRY IM JUST RESPONDING NOW (ive been so bad at responding asks my god i struggle but thank u for ur au dumps, i love loVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!)

IM IN LOVE WITH THIS AU

feral quirkless gremlin midoriya going through shit by setting things on fire is just the way to go im duwldjwksk

i read midoriya with molotov cocktails and i have not stopped simping for and thinking about this midoriya

genuinely swooning at this ver of him

midoriya probably has a collection of lighters and basically does those hand tricks to calm him down or to take his mind off of things

bakugou and midoriya being more familiar with each other in their middle school days compared to canon and bakugou gifting midoriya with personalized all might lighter god that’s adorable

ok but they’re talking about their favourite heroes and bakugou goes, “shocking that you don’t like endeavour.”

and midoriya just shrugs, twisting his hand and fingers to orchestrate the fire’s dance from his lighter, his viridian eyes brighter and says, “his fire feels wrong.” and they leave it at that

midoriya being inspired by bakugou’s explosions and attempting to copy those so bad that bakugou thought midoriya’s trying out for support classes

OK BUT FIGHT WITH SLUDGE VILLAIN?

he yanks out makeshift molotov cocktails from his bag, lights them up and throws them at the bastard. the sludge villain screams and retreats slightly because not only was he facing the fires but also the exploded glass shards. it gave enough time for bakugou to explode the villain and escape enough to allow him to breathe. in the end, all might still defeats the sludge but he misses bakugou and midoriya who escaped. no ofa for firey green bean.

bakugou helping midoriya create more explosions.

“but kacchba i want fire, not explosions!”

“same difference you pyro asshole!”

midoriya learns them anyways and enjoys it.

THE EXAM!!

i have two ways:

one: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed support items and they allowed him and they watched in shock as this little boy explodes the arena worse than the explosion-quirked student. of course he passes and aizawa took him on as his student.

two: midoriya appealed to the staff that he needed his support items but the staff did NOT allow him because they’re considered weapons (as if quirks are not genetic weapons but i DIGRESS) and so when the exam starts, he stays at the very back of the other examinees. this was so that when he arrives at the scene, there are already spare parts for him to scavenge so that he can build makeshift explosions (foregoing whatever shit he learned from katsuki because all that’s on his mind right now are molotov cocktails)

so that’s what happens. he scavenges parts and hides inside one of the buildings so that he can focus more on making explosions and be less worried about being attacked. when he was fully geared, he steps out and begins to retaliate.

he works fast as to not waste his time and the makeshift explosions. because of this, others (ahem-aoyama-ahem) had no opportunity to steal his score.

same thing happens: uraraka gets caught and midoriya explodes the zero pointer. this time, however, the robot is utterly destroyed.

aizawa and majima saw midoriya’s performance, adored it, and began fighting for midoriya.

“majima, he’s here for the hero classes.”

“great. now give him to me.”

nezu pretends that he’s not planning on splitting midoriya’s schedule anyways.

BATTLE TRIAL OH MY GOD rip all might i bet you keeled over so bad, you were one second from turning to small might there and then.

all might: ok so one explodey kid to look out for. that’s not bad.

all might, one minute later: this green kid looks familiar…

all might, ten minutes later: what the fuck.

NO BECAUSE bakugou and midoriya being excited to explode things (well, more like midoriya’s excited and bakugou just wants to fight midoriya) and having a blast when fighting each other.

1a’s probably thinking “oh no” followed by “they’re hot” (literally too because yk the building’s on fire.)

MIDORIYA EXPLODING THE NOUMU??? king shit

midoriya saw this monster running to aizawa and he just points a more eloquent looking flame thrower (thank u mei for working with midoriya with that) at this beast and sets it on fire.

it effectively slowed the noumu and gave the others an opportunity to pull aizawa from the hit zone. it also granted all might more freedom when fighting the noumu because it was slowed enough that all might didn’t have to worry about exceeding his time limit.

the fire damaged some of its nerve processes that the scientist and afo had not accounted for. of course this review is returned to them and many of the noumus become fireproof because of this incident.

OK BUT DURING THE SPORTS FEST

midoriya crushing on todoroki because fire.

he was actually very interested in todoroki prior to sports fest but something about todoroki’s fight against sero sparked something more in midoriya. midoriya saw the anger from his ice, now he wants to see the same intensity from his fire.

his spiel of “that’s your power, todoroki” goes differently. todoroki still pulls him aside and trauma dumps on him but this time he goes, without missing a beat, “that fire is a waste on you.”

todoroki full body pauses because that’s not something he’s ever, well, considered to hear after trauma dumping.

“what?” he croaks, confused at the bubbling feeling. it’s a miasma of anger and hurt, but to a scale so unfamiliar.

midoriya shrugs. “fire is unique, more so as an elemental quirk. you think it doesn’t make half of you—well, i mean you’re right. it doesn’t. you make it. you control it. fire is often uncontrollable and yet here you are, having it as your power. it’s yours to control, so control it. use it.”

todoroki’s ears are ringing.

“you have it as your power.”

“so control it.”

and so he did.

midoriya watched todoki’s fire; watched the way the flames lick up up up and leaves no air bathed in heat. midoriya sees the rawness of anger and determination and thinks, “this is how fire should always look like.”

unconsciously he also thinks how todoroki’s fire is far more beautiful than endeavour’s.

midoriya loses and he’s not as sad about it. losing to something sentient (fire, not todoroki), for him, is a blessing.

todoroki advances along with bakugou.

bakugou who is jealous of todoroki because he saw how midoriya eyed todoroki’s fire and knew todoroki’s a competition in other more ways.

bakugou wins again, this time less angry because todoroki used his fire against him.

STAIN THINKING MIDORIYA’S JUST THIS WEIRD HERO STUDENT WHO HAS NO SPECIFIC QUIRK UNTIL HE FEELS FLAME KISS HIS SKIN AND SCREAMS BECAUSE DAMN IT GREEN EYED KID JUST SET HIM ON FIRE

todoroki full on pausing because he thought he’s the one who set stain on fire unconsciously only to follow the fire’s trail and sees it’s from one of midoriya’s many support items.

“shoot i didn’t mean to burn him that fast!”

“that’s your issue!?”

midoriya gives them a “duh?” look and todoroki feels himself warming up (HAH another fire pun) at midoriya’s ease.

flying noumi still comes and picks him up but midoriya also sets this thing on fire. the difference between a winged noumu and a normal noumu is that the wings are far more flammable and midoriya had quite a bit of fun at setting it on fire and hearing the crackling of flames on rubbery wings.

endeavour casts him a glance that speaks of approval and midoriya doesn’t know if he hates it or not.

tsukauchi arrives and sees not only stain, but the noumu and heaves up a very big sigh. “midoriya, really?”

GOBLIN! PYROMANIAC QUIRKLESS MIDORIYA IZUKU IS A FAVE IM SCREAMING

#goblin anon #ask #IM BACK W GOBLIN RAMBLINGS #god im still simping for tbis midoriya #goblin anon KNOWS where to HIT what a fella #bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #slight #bakudeku #and #tododeku

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