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rafesapologist · 10 months

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the set up — rafe cameron

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): angst, cussing, mentions of alcohol use, some mentions of violence

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: she's a bit of a long one so bare with me. there will likely be a part two!

It was 9 o'clock at night and your phone was abnormally barren and noiseless. Nightfall was creeping up on you before you knew it, distracted by the long day of galavanting at the chateau with your best friends'. On a typical day, by the time the sun was setting your boyfriend, Rafe, was eager to call you and maunder about his day. It never mattered what his schedule consisted of, whether it was golfing with topper and kelce, or working with his dad, he made it a part of his routine just to call you and hear your voice before the day was over.

However, this night was different. It was unusual for Rafe to not at least shoot you a text letting you know he wouldn't be calling for a bit, something he usually did when he was busy. Perhaps he was caught up in family matters with his dad and couldn't get to the phone? You thought. But it was still out of character for him not to find a way to contact you, even if it costed him being scorned by his dad.

You sat cross-legged at the foot of your bed, pondering. You began to feel an itching urge to text him and ask if everything was okay, but you hated feeling pushy and your pride was always one to get the best of you in most situations. The idea of texting Sarah soon came to mind and seemed like the best route to take without disturbing your boyfriend in the chance that he genuinely was extremely busy and couldn't get to the phone. You unlocked your phone and went straight to the iMessage app, immediately finding Sarah's contact and beginning to type out a quick message. But, before you hit send, your body began to feel hot and your hands went clammy. Your mind was beginning to get the best of you as it started to race with unnerving thoughts that clouded over your prior hopefulness. Despite how close you were with Sarah, you feared that if you were to ask her what Rafe was up to, she'd become aggravated at your nosiness. But by the growing hour, the urge to find out became overwhelming.

Your fingers shakily typed out a short, to-the-point message followed by them instantly hitting send.

*Y/N: hey, i haven't heard from rafe all day and i'm getting a little worried tbh. is everything okay??*

Your eyes flickered over the delivered message for what felt like a million times as you found it harder to sit still with the nimiety of anxiety coursing through your veins. Your foot tapped vigorously while you bit at your brittle nails. You couldn't seemed to get past the thought of something bad happening to the boy you loved so deeply, and the mere cogitation of the scenario made you feel sick to your stomach.

*SARAH: hey! that's odd. i have no idea, i haven't heard from anyone. maybe stop by my house and see what he's doing? i know wheezie is there, she'll let you in :)*

You breathed out a sigh of relief at her response, thanking the girl mentally for providing you some sort of response, although clarity was not fully provided and the answer as to what was up with Rafe still remained undetermined. But Sarah's message was enough solace to muster up the strength to head over to the Cameron's household, hoping with everything inside of you that your boyfriend was in there. Enough time had passed to where you didn't even care if it was just him ignoring your texts, you just needed to know if he was alright.

After a brief interval of stalling out of pure apprehension, you finally coaxed yourself into driving over to the Cameron's estate. Your legs sped down the stairs hurriedly, making your way passed the coat rack as you snatched the car keys off of it before sprinting out the front door without acknowledging your parents who watched you exit the house with an alarming haste. Their attempts to call out to you and ask where you were going went ignored as you were too focused on one specific thing - Rafe. You wanted to get to him, you needed to get to him.

The fifteen minute drive felt like two hours as you sped to your boyfriend's house, so eager to locate him that you barely realized the speed that you were going down residential areas. But you couldn't care less about anything else than the boy that was prominent in your mind, the one that you spent nearly every single day and night with over the last six months; some of the best in your life so far. Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you gave attention to the thought of losing Rafe, hating how vulnerable and manic you felt in that moment during the drive. Memories of the boy flooded through your thoughts, ones of him holding you as close as he possibly could while you two fell asleep entangled in one another, peppering soft kisses on your face and neck during early mornings just to wake you up because he knew how much you despised getting up before noon, and all the times he would go out of way just to make you happy. Everything about your relationship with Rafe was perfect, regardless of how much your friends' hated the fact that you were together, considering he was at the top of their enemy list.

Once the visual of the enormous white mansion came into view, your heart began to feel as if it was going to pop right out of your chest. Your foot nearly slammed into the floorboard as you raced onto the property's driveway, wasting no time to put the car in park and scurry up the steps that led to the front porch. With three swifts knocks at the door, you were quickly met with the familiar face of the beloved youngest Cameron sibling, Wheezie.

"Y/n! What are you doing here?" Wheezie questioned, a vaunting smile present on her freckled face.

"Hey Wheeze, have you seen Rafe anywhere? I haven't heard from him all day." You confessed timidly while you attempted to keep a calm composure around the adolescent girl, fearing that you'd alarm her if you expressed your true state of distress.

A noticeable frown grew on Wheezie's face in response to your inquiry, which automatically planted a nauseous feeling at the pit of your stomach. Her eyes averted from your gaze and fell to the ground in avoidance to your burning gaze of worry, "Rafe is.. In the kitchen. He got home a few minutes ago, but I feel like I should warn you before you go see him." She admitted diffidently with her stare still pinned at the ground just before your feet.

"What is it, Wheezie?" You catechized due to her visible hesitancy, a state you had only seen the young girl in once when she witnessed Rafe in a yelling match with is dad, one that nearly resulted in him hitting Ward straight in the face.

"He doesn't look very good, Y/n. When he came home he.. He looked like he was on something and he had blood on him. His eyes were all bloodshot, too. I've never seen him this angry before, I think something happened. I don't know what's gotten into him." Wheezie admitted hastily, displaying a sense of urgency that sent goosebumps across your chilled body.

"Okay, okay, it's alright, Wheeze. Just listen to me," you crouched down to meet her height, gripping onto her shoulders with a light squeeze, "go upstairs and close your door. Turn a movie on or play some music, yeah? Just promise me you'll stay in there until I come get you, okay?" You asserted earnestly with your first priority to remove the innocent girl who had fear plastered all over her face. She simply nodded in reply to your request, wasting no time before turning around and heading up the stairs. You waited until you heard the sound of a door closing before stepping foot into the household, your feet feeling like a ton of bricks as you approached the kitchen with caution.

Upon entrance, you were met with the sight of an extremely disheveled Rafe, worse than you had ever seen him before. His eyes were glossy and accompanied with a bloody red appearance over his scleras. Your eyes trailed down to the noticeable blood splatters stained onto his grey polo, an observtion that took the air out of your lungs and your mouth go dry.

"Rafe?" You mousily called out to the fretful boy that was pacing the kitchen while he ran his fingers through his hair in distress. The sound of your soft voice cause his body to come to a halt, freezing in place with his back still turned to you. The sound of a dry, menacing laugh erupted from your boyfriend's throat that broke the defeaning silence in the air. Your eyebrows furrowed, sensing that his hostility may be aimed at you.

"What do you want?" Rafe subtly scoffed in response, still refusing to turn around and look at you.

"I came to make sure you were okay," you spoke up with a timorous voice, "I was worried cause I haven't heard from you." You folded your arms as you stood in place, displaying an evidence lack of confidence in your body language.

"As if you care." He spun around which took you by surprise, getting a better look at the state of disarray he was truly in. The bags under his eyes painted a deep shade of bluish-purple as though he hadn't slept in the last 24 hours. To make matters worse, dried blood was present on his mouth and chin, seemingly from the laceration of an open wound on his bottom lip. You shivered once you noticed how his normally soft features were replaced with a look of anger and resentment.

"What are you talking about? You know how much I care about you, Rafe." You stated, defending your point as he seemed to question your fidelity towards him.

"Cut the bullshit, Y/n! Haven't you lied to me enough? Aren't you tired of keeping up with all these lies?" Rafe squinted his eyes down at you, pointing at you in an accusatory manner that made you flinch. He had never been aggressive with you, far from it. Truth be told, it frightened you to see him like this, especially with the stench of alcohol exuding from him potently.

"Rafe.." you squeaked, feeling small and powerless under his tall stature, "You're scaring me. I don't know what you're talking about. You need to calm-"

"Our whole relationship has been a fucking lie, Y/n! Even down to the moment we met, you and your little piece of shit Pogue friends had this all planned out. I bet you've told them every single thing I've told you, I fucking trusted you! I should've known you Pogues were no good. All you guys do is stick your noses in places they don't belong." Rafe spat at you causing you to stumble back from him some, your back hitting the wall as he cornered you against the wall.

"You can thank your beloved 'friend' JJ for telling me. Boy's got a mouth on him," Rafe snickered as he shook his head in disbelief as he recounted his interaction with the blond Pogue, "ran into him at the golf course and he was running his mouth as usual. Guess I pissed him off so much that he blurted your guys' whole plan out, trying to get a reaction out of me or whatever. Got the shit beat out of him instead." He snarled.

Tears formed in your eyes at the revelation of Rafe finding out about the foolish plan you and your friends came up with months ago. They were always suspicious of the unpredictable Kook, rightfully so, but their mistake was setting you up to gain the rapport of the unknowing boy, who couldn't help but to melt at the sight of you. It was an easy operation, with Rafe falling under your spell within the first three weeks of meeting. But, what they didn't anticipate was you falling for him just as much.

He scoffed again, interrupting your fit of choking sobs, "No, don't cry. Do not stand here with that look on your face like you're the victim in this. You have no idea, y/n, no idea what it did to me when I heard that, and from all people, JJ fucking Maybank."

"Rafe, please-"

"Stop! Stop," Rafe's voice began to break as his words trembled in sorrow, tears escaping his azure eyes, "I loved you, y/n. So much. Never in my life have I opened up to someone, gave someone so much, as I have to you. Every damn day I woke up, only wanting to talk to you. You were always the first thing on my mind, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. You.. You were everything to me, and to think this whole time it's been some fucking sick game to you. Running back to your worthless Pogue friends that are nothing but trouble. How could I be so stupid? Trusting a fucking Pogue like you." His words put wounds in your chest and tore at your heart from the pure hatred for you that exuded from them. You never imagined you'd be at the other end of Rafe's spiteful outbursts at the end of it all, but there you were, looking up at him with a cold look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rafe. I'm sorry, okay? I know that doesn't fix this but I didn't plan for this to happen. I told them it would only be a month and I would be done, but then I fell in love with you. I didn't spend all that time with you because of them. Our agreement was only-"

"Our agreement," he scoffed at your words, "do you hear yourself? You're unbelievable. You think that makes me feel better? Oh, you were only supposed to manipulate me for a month? How generous of you." Rafe mocked back at you, the high levels of alcohol in his system causing him to slur his words some.

"I-I know, I know that nothing I say will make this better. I know that you'll never trust me and you'll hate me forever after this, but I'm so sorry, Rafe. I didn't mean for this to happen." You looked up at him with sincerity, a pleading look in your eyes.

"I don't hate you. That's the fucking problem." He muttered.

"What?" You questioned, confused at his admission.

"I don't hate you, y/n. Believe me, I wish I could right now, but I don't. You think after everything we've been through that I could just hate you like that? That easy? Y/n, you're the love of my life. Don't you get that? I wouldn't be in the state I'm in right now if I didn't love you. I don't know what to do, and I'm at a war with myself because one part of me needs you, and the other can't even stand to look you in the eyes right now." Rafe sighed as he combed a hand through his dirty blond hair. His harsh demeanor was beginning to slip as his features softened and was replaced with an appearance of sadness and void. It was clear that the boy was completely shattered, and it broke your heart. Your mind began racing in that moment, unsure of really what to do in order to comfort the heartbroken boy. Do you leave him be and rip the bandaid off? Was that too cold of you to do? Or were you supposed to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, despite the uncertainty that things would be.

"Rafe.." Your words trailed off as you watched Rafe's bloody lip begin to tremble. He closed his glossy eyes at the sweet sound of your voice, only hurting him more to realize that he'd miss that beautiful noise. He hated how much he craved you, how much he needed you, because he told himself a million times than he could never trust you again after JJ's confession. But he couldn't bring himself to push you away, although you put him in the position he was in. Hurting him worse than anyone has in his entire life.

"I don't wanna think about it right now, okay? I can't.. I can't stand the thought of waking up without you, y/n. I mean call me fucking crazy, but fucking hell, I still love you. I don't know what's wrong with me." Your boyfriend broke down in sobs, tears streaming down his bruised face.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Rafe. You didn't deserve this." You shook your head at his insecurity, assuring him that none of this was on him.

"Please stay with me tonight, we can talk about this in the morning or whatever, but please." Rafe pleaded, looking down at you with a pitiful look on his face that made your heart swell. His hand was placed at your waist, with a fistful of your shirt in his grip, pleading to your with full sincerity.

"Of course I will."

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jd07201990 · 3 months

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"Coach.... I think we should quit it with the shakes for a while... I can't get my shirt down!"

I muttered, feeling every ounce of the 40 lbs I'd gained in just 2 months. I could feel the thick, pastelike protein shake churning in my belly, a dull roaring heat gradually oozing from my core, out to my chest, shoulders, waist, legs, and arms. The raw, itching tingle of energy, fuel pumping into my sore muscles up into taut, stretched masses. Despite wanting to play lacrosse, and maybe look good enough to get a date finally, I'd made a mistake when I asked Coach for help.

I should have known better as I watched nearly all the incoming freshman boys suddenly grow into grunting, sweating behemoths. The Dorms I'd been assigned to just 3 months ago, meant for incoming Science and Math Majors, now resembled a Frathouse. With heaving, lumbering nerds slowly losing interest in Planets and Chemicals, as they packed themselves solid in the cafeteria and snacked all throughout the day. All of us were bulking up pretty fast, and it wouldn't have been so bad, if I was unaware like the rest of the dorm!

Despite my protest, Coach slapped my back, causing an enormous belch to erupt from me. I groaned, my calloused hand going to my gut as I suddenly felt as if I were starving, what little room that belch had opened, now amplified into an insatiable hunger. Coach smirked at me, pushing one of his snack bars into my hand. I tried so hard to shake my head, to deny caloric nuke in my hand, but I found myself opening the wrapper with my teeth, biting into it and closing my eyes as the feeling of hunger subsided. Clach chuckled, putting his hand on my taut, boulder-like shoulder.

"No can do, you know the rules! All coach’s boys need their required nutrition. Don't you want to be the best? You said you wanted this, didn't you?" He said with a sneer, looking my hefty, thick-piled bulk up and down before giving my half-melon sized pec a soft punch, feeling the solid muscle under the layer of fat all of Coach's boys seemed to develop.

By the end of the year, not a single Jock in school was less than 200 lbs. The school had to cut some funding from the Science Department to cover the near mountain of new clothes, specifically shirts and shoes, as none of us fit into our original gear. I for one, ended up an XXL, lumbering around the halls and the gym at a whopping 220lbs. The entire school seemed to reek of athlete, classes with more than 2 jocks, often had some students complaining about the funk, while the girls, and gay guys tried to hide their arousal. My shoes, which consisted of sneakers and cleats, were all now size 14s, with not a single pair in the school less than a 13w.

I tried at first to get used to the size, the weight, the routine of workouts, meals, barely any time for assignments, as the school and Coach seemed hellbent on ensuring the Sports Budget was going to good use. All of us were forced to play a sport, the teams now full of grunting, sweating, aggressive young bulls hopped up on redbulls and creatine. For me, I ended up playing Football. I wanted to play Lacrosse, but coach said I had the genes for some real size, and vetoed my choice. He says by the time he's through with me, I'll be the biggest Biology major in the school. He says its what's best for me but I know why he's doing it. Because I haven't broken down like the others. I still kept my mind, and as long as I have that, the sweat, the meals, the snacks, and the grueling workouts will continue. Coach never fails, some of the sponsors say while they're eyeing us all up and down like priced bulls on a ranch.

I don't know what happens after graduation, but I'm pretty sure Weston Ridgeway, an eccentric foreign millionaire who bankrolls the Football team, has his eye on me. Coach says Ridgeway tends to like his "interns" Big, Dumb, and insatiable... I don't know how long before I fit all 3. I'm already big, and my backpack is full of shakes and snack bars proves I'm insatiable... Coach says he's got 3 years to, as he puts it, "Raise me up good and proper"

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ladykailitha · 3 months

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Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 1

Here is it is. Book 2 of The Boy With a Bat and I'm posting it on the anniversary of the first chapter of "Can Anybody See Me?" I couldn't pass up the opportunity do so, you know? If you haven't read that yet, I would recommend it.

This one starts up almost immediately after the last one ended. And I do have four chapters written.

This story will go through to the end of season 3.

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

***

The weather started to warm and the Harringtons were away for longer and longer stretches of time. So to say that Steve was happy would be an understatement.

He used that open period to do his homework so that he had more time to practice his swimming. It was inevitable that Eddie would cotton on to the glaringly obvious gap in Steve’s swim practice. As in despite having a large pool of his own, Steve would practice at the school or on the weekends at the community center.

At first the excuse of it being too cold to swim in the outdoor pool, that fell away to the warmer weather. Thankfully it was the last meet of the season, and the team had gotten to state.

Steve hadn’t even bothered to tell his parents that the swim team had a chance at nationals. That they had been that good. Nope. He told Wayne Munson and Claudia Henderson though. Those were the adults he really wanted to see there. Not Clint and Marilyn Harrington. Of course Joyce and Hopper were told, too. But Claudia had become more like his mother and Wayne, the father figure he had always wanted.

Eddie had avoided the swim meets for the most part. Not because he didn’t want to support Steve. He did. The problem was the *ahem* uniform for the boys’ swim team. It consisted of one cap, one pair of goggles and the tiniest Speedo known to man. Or at least known to Eddie. He could barely handle his boyfriend in the booty shorts the basketball team wore, the Speedo was just too much for his poor developed teenaged brain.

But through begging, bribing, and blow jobs, Eddie was at that meet.

Thankfully he wasn’t sandwiched between Uncle Wayne and Claudia Henderson. Nope, Marty and Janice had come, too. The rest of them couldn’t get out of their classes to come but they all told Steve they were rooting for him.

Steve walked out in the green Speedo (being the ‘away’ team) cap. The white framed goggles perched on his head. He spoke briefly to coaches Hall and Hastings. And then turned to wave at the enthusiastic crowd. Claudia had gotten Dustin excused from school and Nancy and Jonathan were there as members of the school news paper.

All in all not a bad turnout for the boy who thought that 1985 was going to be as bad as 1984 had been. He thought he was going to end the year with no girlfriend, no friends, and no future. But that all changed with Eddie Munson deciding he was worth having. First as a friend and then as a boyfriend.

The boyfriend thing was still being kept on the down low as they were still in high school and Steve’s dad was just too big of a wild card to tell people that might get word back to him. Steve felt bad. Because it meant that Dustin and the other kids didn’t know about him and Eddie. Well...he was pretty sure Max had figured it out and maybe El, too. But everyone else was told that they were strictly bros.

A lie Eddie was surprisingly okay with. The last thing he wanted was Steve to get another concussion and if Billy and his gang scented blood in the water before, it would be a literal blood bath if Steve was even hinted at being in a relationship with another boy. Tommy and Billy could taunt all they wanted as long as there wasn’t any proof, they were fine.

It made Steve itch. But even he knew better than to scratch it.

He took a deep breath and stepped up to the starting block. He got in position and lowered his goggles. Out of the corners of his eyes he could see the other competitors look at each other, sizing each other up. But Steve was focused. He put his head down and took a deep breath. He loved the butterfly stroke. It worked his shoulders in a way that helped round out his strengths.

The whistle blew and they were off. Distantly he could hear people screaming his name and cheering him on every time he broke the water. He smiled and doubled his efforts. He touched the pad and the whistle blew. He then looked around at his competitors and saw to his satisfaction that he had definitely finished first.

Steve could hear Dustin freaking out in the stands. He pulled the goggles off his eyes and placed them on his head. He wiped the water out of his face and he looked to the stands.

Wayne was asking Claudia a question and she was explaining it animatedly. Steve grinned. He pulled himself out of the water and listened to the judges give the times. It was no record by any means, but it was much faster than his peers.

He stood up and Coach Hall raised his hand up. All his team members came up to him and cheering excitedly. Even the ones that he had beaten.

Steve sat on the sidelines and waited for the relay to start. That was his final event. He was first, followed by two other boys, Lyle and Nick, and then Ezra. Steve and Ezra were the teams two fastest swimmers and bookended the relay team.

Finally they were up. He looked up at the stands again. The most important people in Steve’s life were up there cheering him on. He got into position and pulled his goggles down. He zipped through the water like an otter and was soon tapping out for the next swimmer. He quickly got out of the way and was shocked to see that other team wasn’t even close. As each boy popped out of the water and looked at how far they were in front of the other team, they would start to jump up and down excitedly.

Soon it was the three of them waiting for Ezra to finish. There was no doubt they won. The question was whether or not they had beat the state record. Ezra tapped the board and hopped out of the water.

They waited in silence as the other team finished their run and got out of the pool. The judge must have had a flare for the dramatic as he read the other team’s time first. Steve and his team wrapped their arms around each other as they waited for the time.

Finally it was read.

“A new state record!” the judge called out.

Steve and his team started screaming and cheering.

“And thereby qualify for the regionals that will be held in Chicago this year in two weeks!” the judge continued.

They made it!

Steve looked up at the stands and the entire section that held the Hawkins fans were on their feet. Even Eddie had been lost in the sea of fans screaming their lungs out.

After he had showered and got the chlorine out of his hair, he walked out to all his friends waiting for him. They were holding up signs and cheering. Even Nancy and Jonathan were waiting for him.

“Steve, that was amazing, man,” Jonathan said. He snapped a a couple of pictures that left Steve blinking from the flash.

Nancy hugged him and then straightened out her skirt. She cleared her throat and said as professionally as possible, “Weekly Streak, as co-captain of the team, how does it feel making regionals for the first time in the school’s history?”

“Me and Ezra Wincott are both proud of how well our players did,” Steve said after shaking his head a little. “We’re disappointed that no one in the individual events made it, but grateful that we made it to state. It was an honor to compete.”

“Will the school be raising the money for the team to go?” Nancy asked.

Steve covered his wince with a half smile. This was a hotly contested subject between them about where school funds went. She thought that more money should go to arts like theater and the newspaper, of course.

“I wouldn’t know,” he said and pursed his lips. He licked a stripe over his upper lip and Eddie winced.

Eddie wondered if Nancy was familiar with Steve’s tell that he was seriously annoyed. Judging from her expression, probably not.

“It’s up to the administration where the funds go,” Steve said, dryly. “However, if it will help Lyle or Nick have the chance to go, I’m sure my parents would be willing to pay for me to go regardless of the school’s ability to fund the trip.”

Nancy and Eddie both scoffed, but they didn’t say anything.

“Any word on elections for next years captain or captains?” Nancy asked.

“We’ll be holding them after nationals,” Steve said. “Coaches Higgins and Hall have opted to continue with the co-captains as they have in the past few years.”

“Are you disappointed that none of the girls made it to state?” Nancy asked.

Eddie and Steve exchanged a glance over her head of exasperation. “Co-captains Laura Gilbert and Denise Portman led the girls to a great season. It was unfortunate that they went against better teams. The hope next year is that they are getting six new members next year that will freshen up the team.”

“And how many boys will be joining the team next year?”

Steve crossed his arms and licked his upper lip again, and it sent a not nice shiver down Eddie’s spine. He could tell that he was getting upset with Nancy’s questions.

“Not as many,” Steve said, knowing that was exactly why she asked. She was gloating that the girls were getting more players next year. “Only four. Which considering we’re losing six this year is quite the blow.”

“Just one last question,” Nancy said a sneer on her face. “Who are you celebrating with tonight?”

Everyone went dead silent. Steve wasn’t sure if she was being obtuse or if she was trying to out him, but it wasn’t appropriate by any stretch of the imagination.

“Friends and family,” Steve said with a sinister smile.

Nancy turned of the recorder and stuck it in her pocket. Both Eddie and Steve opened their mouths to protest, but Jonathan beat them to it.

“What the fuck was with that last question?” he growled as he packed away his camera.

Nancy rolled her eyes. “The school’s student editor is one of Tommy’s ilk and wanted me to ask it off all the people I interviewed, but especially Steve.”

“You do realize that only seven people in the whole school read the school newspaper, right?” Eddie asked. “Like everyone I know tosses it the second it gets handed to them.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Well maybe you guys should. It’s not just sports you know. The debate team also made it to state. The drama club got invited to perform at the drama conference with ‘Yours, Yours, Yours’ and a dozen other things that you would know if you read the only paper in town that cared about that sort of thing.”

Steve and Eddie looked at Marty and Janice and then back at Nancy.

“You do realize that that last example was a piss poor one right?” Steve asked, waving his hand to include Eddie, Janice and Marty. “We were all part of the play in some way. Of course we knew about the invite.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Okay, so that was a bad example. But you know what I mean.”

“It’s not the end of the world, Nance,” Dustin said. “You’re destined for greatness at some big name paper.”

Nancy blushed. “Thanks!”

Eddie smiled. “Come on, sweetheart. Uncle Wayne and I have celebration plans for you, big boy.”

Steve grinned. “Is Wayne going to barbecue like he’d been teasing all winter?”

Wayne laughed. “Not quite warm enough for that yet. I promise, once it is, I’ll blow your god damn mind.”

Steve laughed.

“No,” Claudia said with a smile. “We’re going for milk shakes at the diner. Best celebration there is.”

Steve high-fived Dustin.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

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#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #gay steve harrington #boy with a bat

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highwayorgantrade · 1 year

Text

Honesty Hour

Pairing: (cis)female reader x Jasper Hale

Word Count: 4.5k (oh god, just look at the author's note for this one.)

Warnings: Drinking, cursing, mentions of drug use, reader is inebriated, drunk sex (please don't do this unless you have sober and active consent!!), unprotected sex, men in blonde wigs, orgasm denial.

Summary: When you invited the Cullens to a house party, you really didn't expect them to come. You also didn't expect the quietest sibling to back you into a dark room.

Spotify Playlist: Honesty Hour

A/N: So many bad influences! I intended to imply that the reader is 21, as this is happening in college, and Alice and Jasper are not mates, merely siblings :) And I know I keep apologizing for how long my fics are, and yet I change nothing! This is my first time ever writing smut, and I just kept dwelling over it for so long. To consistent 18+ authors: I have the utmost respect and love for you. Y'all seriously keep this world turning.

"No, listen, I'm talking about a Euphoria-styled house party. But without all the hard drugs or a huge fight. Maybe a huge fight." Your friend was clearly excited about her spring break party, barely even stopping to let you get a word in. You set your backpack on a bench, pulling out your water bottle. If you were going to be drinking tonight, you would probably need it. "And I know you don't have a lot of friends, but invite whoever you want."

"You absolute snake." You hit her lightly, and noted the Cullens headed in your direction.

"Isn't it kind of weird that they move in a pack? Kind of... cult-y." She asked, trying not to make her prying obvious. Yeah, it was weird, but didn't everyone kind of stay with their own pack?

"I would kill someone to be that close to my family, honestly." You replied, and an idea struck you. "Think they would come?"

"I don't know, I haven't ever seen them at a party before."

"I feel like a real cult would go to lots of parties." You shrugged. "You know, to get their foot in the door." You set down your water bottle, and walked over to the group. What was the worst they could do? Say no?

"Hey!" You called out, grabbing the attention of... all of them. They eyes on you suddenly made you feel inferior, and your resolve cracked. "My friend is throwing a party tonight, and we wanted you to know that you were invited!" Their silence only made you talk more. "It's cool if you don't come, it's just going to be a bunch of loud music and drinking, but you know... Yeah."

What a strong note to finish on. You were about to walk away, when one of the girls spoke up. Her hair was really cute, and you made a mental note to tell her so someday.

"Yeah, we'll come! What time?" She asked, and you were taken aback by her light voice.

"Well, we told everyone 9, but it'll probably start getting fun around 11 or so. It's at 1171 Big Pine Way. You'll really come?" Your confirmation wasn't unwarranted. They never really spoke to anyone else, but it's not like they were bullies or anything. You recalled the other week, when that poor girl's research paper fell out of her hands, the really big one helped her organize it. "Can I-" Was this rude to ask? "What are your names? So I can scream it in excitement later."

One of the boys, the blonde one, caught your eye, and the corner of his mouth twitched up. Oh God. Why would you say that? It started off as such an innocent question, but your stupid attempt at a joke went completely sideways. You felt the urge to confirm what you meant - you meant that you got very friendly when you were drunk. Backtracking now would mean that you knew you said something wrong.

"I know what you meant." She laughed. "I'm Alice, this is is Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie. Don't worry, we don't expect you to remember that right off the bat."

"Good, because I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning."

"Well, we most definitely are coming." Alice smiled at you, and you believed her. Okay, good. Social interaction check passed. You both began to go your separate ways, until a voice stopped you.

"Hey." You turned around to see the blonde one. Jasper? Jasper had his mouth set in a half-smile. "It was nice to meet you."

"Yup!"

Yup? Seriously? Yup? If he was actually coming tonight, you were going to be in big trouble.

<- ->

The music pulsed, people were everywhere, and you were hot. Not just you as a person (although you knew you kept this outfit for a reason.), but you were warm as hell. Not only was the house packed with people dancing, girls running around trying to find their friends, and boys scouting for whichever girl was willing to lower her standards, but the 2 vodka sodas and the few shots caused your nose to go numb, and you expected your lips to be next.

You haven't seen any Cullen sibling yet, but it wasn't for lack of looking. You know what? If Jasper didn't come and see how super hot you look, then that's on him. His loss. What do you care? Actually, why do you care? He had barely spoken 7 words to you, and they were all pleasantries. Ugh, you needed another drink. When you approached the table full of various amounts of alcohol, you stared at the selection. Okay, you don't want to get super messy drunk, you're enjoying the buzz you have right now, but drinking water just seems so boring.

"Need help?" Jesus fucking Christ! The deep voice suddenly behind you made you jump, causing a small clattering of the bottles next to you.

"Jasper!" Okay, do not act drunk. You do not know this man well enough to act drunk around him. "You came!" You felt the smile cracking across your face, and he feigned a surprised face. "I really wanna hug you right now, but I don't know if you consent to that, so I will keep my arms to myself. Just know that I'm emotionally hugging you!"

What. The fuck.

"You can hug me if you want, I won't bite." He shrugged, pulling you out of your shame spiral. He said you could hug him! Your excitement was immeasurable, and before you could move, he pulled you into his chest with a firm grip.

"I'm so happy you came! My friends got boring so I went looking for any one of you!" You babbled when you pulled away (but God, he smelled like pine and something earthy, but clean. Incense? Either way, you wished you could stay there.) "Did you know that you smell like incense?" Your thoughts jumped from one train to another, and Jasper couldn't help but smile as he tried to navigate the two separate topics that were happening.

"Yeah, Edward and Rosalie probably weren't going to come, but Alice and Emmett got caught up in a paper." He answered your questions in quick succession. "I did not know I smelled like incense, that's nice to know. What are we deciding on?" He glanced at the table.

"I like the smell of incense." You added, before turning back to the bottles. "I'm not interested in drinking anymore, but I don't want to drink water. But I'm also not interested in soda, either."

You both stayed quiet for a moment, considering your options.

"I think there's sparkling water in the cooler by the couch, if you want to sit down." He suggested. You just stared at him. At first, it was because that was the greatest idea you had ever heard. And then, it was because, simply put, you liked looking at his face. His features were soft, an extreme mirror to the resting bitch face he walked around campus with. The scars that you knew you wouldn't ask about added an air of danger, that he had been through something, and survived. The faintest hint of a smile was left on his face as he stared right back at you, waiting for a response.

"Sorry, you're really pretty, I got distracted! Sparkling water sounds great!" You grabbed him by the hand and pulled. His skin was cold, freezing, actually, but it felt really nice against the warmth of the rest of your body.

"You're very honest when you're drunk!" Jasper ran his free hand through his hair and let out the most gentle laugh you had ever heard.

"It's the best time to get to know each other! Want some more honesty?" He nodded. "I want to hear you laugh more." You sat down on the couch, grateful to be drinking something that tasted like alcohol, but wouldn't get you stumbling up the stairs.

"What do you want to know? I'll match your honesty." He sat down, and you turned your body so you were facing him. What were all the things everybody wondered about the Cullens? Why are they all so hot? Why didn't they really talk to anyone else? Why are Emmett and Alice working on a paper on a Friday?

"Where are you from? You have a southern accent." You stated, cocking your head.

"I do. I'm from Texas, and Carlisle adopted me when I was 17. I have a question for you."

"I'm an open book." Your arms gestured openly, hoping he would ask you anything, something you could say 'yes' to. He could ask you to ride into war, and you absolutely would.

"What's your name?" Before you could process the question, the answer slipped out of your mouth.

"Yes."

Well. At least it was firm. "I, uh, my name is (Y/N)." Jasper held out his hand, and you gave it to him, expecting him to shake it. What you didn't expect was Jasper leaning his head low, and placing the softest kiss you've ever known on the back of your hand. Your mind went blank and absolutely crazy at the same time. The eye contact didn't help the jump in your stomach, and the feeling of your heart in your throat.

"Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N)." He pulled back, and smiled at you, like he hadn't just committed the most sinful act of chivalry imaginable. "Your turn for a question."

"Why did you do that?" There were so many other questions you wanted to ask, but that was the only one on your mind at the moment.

"I was greeting you the way I believe you should be greeted. Did you not want me to do that?" Jasper quipped, but he already knew the answer to that one. You knew he did. He placed his hand on your knee, and your brain short-circuited once more.

"I didn't know that was something I wanted until you did it. Why are you looking at me like that?" He had not once taken his eyes off of you, and his gaze at you would've made you press your legs together if you weren't so focused. You would do anything to keep his hand on you.

"I'm looking at you like this because-"

"(Y/N)!" Please, no, not right now. You felt a hand grip your upper arm and start pulling. "Please come dance with me!" Your friend, completely oblivious to the scene in front of her, had finally found you. Your back and forth with Jasper was over. The pull of not wanting to dampen her spirits battled with your intense desire of staying in the little world you were in with Jasper. "Ugh, he'll still be here at the end of the song, won't you?" She looked at him with pleading eyes, and he leaned away from you.

"Absolutely. Go." He waved his hand toward her, and the same crooked smile crossed his face. Wait, he's supposed to be on your side!

"Betrayal. That one hurts. Hurts my heart." You rolled your eyes and set your water down. "Stop trying to dislocate my arm, damn it!" You yelled at her, and you could swear you could hear that same stupid, quiet laugh.

"Here, take this!" Your friend grabbed two shots off a table, and handed them both to you.

"What do you want me to do with this?" You shouted, as you both had moved into the group of people dancing, and the music was loud.

"I want you to drink it and to stop being such a pussy!" She tipped the cup towards your face, and soon, it had burned their way down your throat. "And now, dance with me like you wanna dance with him!" She tilted her head in Jasper's direction, and to your surprise, he was still watching you. Carefully. You did like the song, and what’s the worst that could happen? Worst possible scenario: Jasper is so disgusted with your dancing that he leaves and you never talk again? Okay, that's not an option.

Almost instantly, your mild anxiety and self-consciousness disappeared, and you were overwhelmed with new confidence. Whatever was in that alcohol, it made you feel hot. This wasn't the same hot feeling from earlier, but you felt perfect. Jasper was so far from your mind at the moment, you just wanted to physically represent how amazing you were feeling. You glanced over to where Jasper sat, whether to make sure he was watching or not make sure he wasn't watching, you weren't sure. Either way, he was not watching. In fact, he had disappeared entirely.

You had barely started to groan in disappointment, when you felt a shock - an arm had wrapped around your waist and was guiding you out of the crowd. Okay, you were gonna go with this adventure. You looked up to meet your captor, and you were met with Jasper's tightly clenched jaw.

"Where are we going?" You questioned him, as he weaved you through the crowd, carefully avoiding the people.

"Are we still doing the honesty thing?" He looked down at you, and leaned in slightly so you could hear him. He could be leading you to your death, for all you could care. He could be leading you straight to eternal damnation and you would skip happily behind him. You nodded as well as you could with your neck craned, when you suddenly weren't next to him anymore. your back pressed against the wall, and Jasper's hand was placed between your head and the wall, and the grip on your arm was bruising. His eyes bore into yours, and you never felt more like prey in your life. And you could play that part well. "Then tell me, why were you dancing like that?"

"For your attention." You lifted your head so your lips were merely inches from meeting, and you smiled, the hand behind your head twitching slightly. "Did I get it?" Your voice was quiet, and you barely recognized the sound.

"Now normally," Jasper placed a soft kiss on your cheek, and his hand went from your arm to your waist. "This would have taken months. I would've taken my time with you, like you deserve." You keened at his response. You didn't want to take your time, you were barely holding yourself together now.

"There's a difference between what I deserve and what I want." Jasper laughed, and glanced down at your lips

"There's a difference between what you want and what you need." He growled before turning you into a doorway, and you found yourself in a dark room, a red glow being cast by the strung up lights.

"Will your friend mind if we use this?" Jasper breathed behind you, gesturing to the familiar bedroom.

"She might bake me a cake." You laughed, and with a rush of bravery, you pulled the neckline of Jasper's jacket into you, and you finally kissed.

His tight grip on you moments ago seemed far away, as it seemed like he was now afraid to touch you - like you would break. His hands hovered at your sides, barely touching you.

"(Y/n)" He whispered between kissing you, never wanting to pull away. "(Y/n), are you sure? We don't have to."

"So all that talk about what I want and what I need was bullshit?" You snaked your hand into his hair and clenched, his hair wrapped tightly around your fingers. Your confidence grew when you heard his low groan. Your free hand found the zipper of his jacket, and pulled it down the rest of the way. Jasper didn't hesitate to help you pull it off.

"I just want..." He lifted your head with his thumb, and began in on your neck. You felt your stomach drop, and when your knees buckled, he placed you back on the bed. "I wanted to make sure you wanted this." He stood above you, and in the light, Jasper actually looked kind of scary. He smirked, like you had voiced that observation. His hand reached toward your face, and on instinct, your lips parted for his thumb to toy with your bottom lip. "You look beautiful tonight, but don't think this is the only time I've noticed you." He leaned towards you slightly, until your hips met, and you twitched at the contact, gasping. "I've noticed that you prefer doing your work alone, and that you like to color code your notes." He pushed his thumb past your lips, and you accepted it gratefully. "I noticed that you wear your emotions on your face, especially when someone interrupts you."

Jasper stared down at you, that goofy half smile on his face again. His analysis of you made you feel exposed, and you realized he was waiting on you to make the next move, as if the two of you were playing chess. God, you just wanted him to move. You ground your hips onto his, eliciting a gasp from him, and you raised your eyebrow. He slowly withdrew his hand from your face, and you whined when his thumb left your mouth.

"Jasper, please." You begged, sitting up to pull his shirt off of him, and holy fuck, those scars were bigger than you thought. You didn't know where they were from, or who gave them to him, but the sight went straight to your core.

"Please what, honey?" Jasper drawled, hooking your chin and tilting your head up. "Look at me."

The last remnants of your pride and dignity went out the window as you took a deep breath.

"Please just fuck me. Please."

The energy in the room completely switched as you spoke those words, and frustration clawed at your throat. Jasper's face darkened, and your breath hitched in your throat, almost choking you.

“How much do you like this outfit?” He tugged lightly at the material of your pants.

“Well, I’d like to keep it.”

“Then you have two minutes to take it off before I destroy it.”

Well.

As you tugged your shirt over your head, Jasper slid your shorts down your legs, sprinkling light kisses on your hips, praising you.

“You’re good at following directions.” He glanced up at you and smiled, taking in your body, and touching whatever he could.

“You’re good at giving them.” Your voice was breathy, and Jasper's teasing was driving you absolutely insane. His hands burned trails up and down your thighs, squeezing lightly. He laughed at the desperate noises you made, and slid your underwear off, kissing everywhere except right where you needed him to. The waves of annoyance mixed with pleasure rolled off of you, causing you to writhe under him.

"Alright now." He placed his forearm over your hips, barring you from moving anymore. "None of that, honey. Look at me."

You had barely made dizzying eye contact with Jasper when he latched himself onto your clit, sending electricity running through every vein in your body. Instinctively, your back arched, and your hands gripped the bedsheets in a desperate attempt to ground yourself. His arm moved from your hips to make easy work of keeping your thighs open for him.

"Oh, God Jasper, please, please don't stop." Your rambling came between gasps. It was like you were drowning, and Jasper was doing nothing to help you.

You felt like you were on fire, and it was only getting hotter as you felt the desperation. You rocked your hips impossibly closer to Japser's mouth, feeling every single nerve explode under his lips. You were so, so close, and just when you began to feel yourself unravel, the sensation was completely gone.

There is no fucking way he just stopped.

He began kissing up your stomach, glancing at your wildly confused and betrayed face.

"How many times have I told you to look at me?" His smile was mocking, like he knew your answer wouldn't be correct.

"What? Maybe twice?"

"Mhm." He continued kissing up your body, until he had reached your chest. "And how many times have you done it?" In lieu of a response, you groaned when he began sucking a mark onto you. "Zero." When Jasper brought his mouth up to your neck, you prepared for him to give it the same markings that were now on your chest. You snaked your hands into his hair, pulling gently. Instead, Jasper hovered, your combined heavy breathing pressing your chest into his. His ragged breath almost made it sound like he was growling, and the thought sent your heart pounding.

"You are..." Jasper let out of dark chuckle. "I don't think I could ever get enough of you." His teeth grazed your skin, and for a split second, you almost felt like you were in danger, like you were merely prey that was being toyed with. Your nails dragged down Jasper's back, a desperate attempt to get him to just move. He pulled back to look at you, and... Weren't his eyes a light brown color? In the light, somehow, they looked pitch black, almost consuming his entire eye. "Beg for me, darlin'. Come on." He goaded. Your hesitation resulted in silence, and his hand trailed down your body, fingers toying with your entrance. A smile slowly made its way onto his face, and his eyebrow raised, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to speak.

God, if just his hand made you feel this good... Fuck it. No shame.

"Jasper, please fuck me, please. I want it so bad." Your begs almost came out as sobs, and Jasper's expression darkened.

"Put your hands above your head." He drawled, and you immediately obeyed, remembering the consequences if you don't listen. "Such a fast learner." He cooed at you, one hand meeting your wrists, and pinning them down. Anticipation jumped in your stomach as you felt Jasper position himself at your entrance, soft moans and curses falling from your mouth. He leaned down, placing a surprisingly soft kiss to your lips. Almost all of your focus dissipated as you focused on how his lips moved against yours, how you could almost feel the lopsided smile curling the edges of his lips. Jasper's grip on your wrists tightened, and Jasper finally pushed inside you.

Jasper didn't look as muscular as he was, and he certainly didn't act as big as he was. The feeling of him bottoming out was dizzying, and his low groans were destroying you from the inside out. Finally, he began to move as gently as possible, but the feeling of him inside you turned any logical thought, any conscious decision, into dust. All you could think about was Jasper, and how he ruined any resolve you once had. His hands moved from your wrists down to your hips, making absolutely sure you felt every inch of him.

“Fuck, I can’t, I gotta-“ He breathed, and hearing Jasper curse sent you reeling. Jasper began to snap his hips into you, the slow start completely abandoned. His hands rolled your hips in rhythm, and with every thrust, the edges of your vision blurred. Your nails found purchase in his back, the pleasure making you fall silent. “No, ma’am, I need to hear you.” You were grateful the music was so loud, as you’re absolutely sure without it, the entire house would hear your cries. Jasper began peppering rougher bites on your neck, and you knew that you would be marked up for weeks to come. Good.

The familiar feeling of falling over the edge rose again in the pit of your stomach, and you hesitated. You didn't want this to be over, and you focused on keeping your head about you.

"Jasper, please." You groaned into his neck, looking for anything to focus on other than the growing fire in your core. There was no doubt, Jasper was destroying you. He was destroying you from having sex with anyone else, he was ruining your desire to cling onto anyone but him.

"Come on, darlin'." You could tell Jasper was close too, his thrusts were faltering, and his grasp on your hips was only getting tighter. "Let go for me, just let yourself go." You felt like you were falling down a hole that had no certain end, and you were fine with it.

Your body was no longer listening to you, it was only responding to Jasper. At his command, the rope that was holding to you together snapped, and you buried your face into him, your shaking legs trying to press together, only to be held open by Jasper's own hips. He stilled inside you, growling a string of both curses and praise, but you couldn't focus on what he was saying, your mind felt completely numb and blank. You and Jasper had stayed like that for a bit, groaning when he finally slid out of you.

Anxiety bit at you as you grasped for something, anything to say to him. The room was strangely quiet, save for the thumping of the music and your heartbeat. You pulled your clothes on quickly, stumbling a little when you got to your shoes.

“So, uh…” You began, but lost your words when Jasper looked at you again. “I guess I’ll see you at school?” Your voice was timid, unsure of where this would lead, if it would lead anywhere. Surprisingly, he smiled.

“What? Absolutely not. Would you rather I drive you back to your place?”

No! You didn’t want that! You wanted to stay with him. You wanted time to freeze so the two of you could stay in this moment forever. You bit your lip as you pondered any socially acceptable way to phrase that.

“I don’t wanna…” You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. “I want to stay with you. Be with you.” Silence hung in the air, and you didn’t know you were fidgeting with your shirt until Jasper placed his cool hand on yours.

“I can feel that you’re nervous. Why?”

“Are we still doing the honesty thing?” He nodded. “I don’t want this to just be a hookup. I like talking to you. I like making you laugh, because I think you look too serious all the time. I’m nervous because I don’t want to make you feel forced, but-“ He cut you off with a shattering kiss, pulling you in by your waist and gripping you tightly.

“All that talk ‘bout how you should be treated right, (y/n), I was talking about how you deserve to be treated by me." He whispered against your lips. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to come with me, I'm going to drive you to my house, and you'll spend the night. Alice will have clothes for you, don't worry. In the morning, I will be taking you to your place so you can change, and then we're going on a date."

As he laid out his plan, Jasper took your hand, and kissed it once more.

"To your house, like, with your parents? And this all seems very planned out." You had never met, or even seen for that matter, any parent with the Cullens. You had to imagine how amazing they were to raise the kids that they did.

"Stop getting nervous, you don't even need to meet 'em if you don't want to. Trust me though, they'll love you. As for your plans tomorrow, it's been a long time coming, trust me."

"Damn, do I really wear my emotions like that?" You laughed, shocked at how easily he picked up your anxiety.

"Yeah, something like that. Now, come on."

#twilight x reader #twilight imagine #jasper cullen x reader #jasper cullen imagine #twilight fanfiction #jasper hale x reader

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kitorin · 1 year

Text

boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin

contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff

warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao

a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways

how you met

you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have

you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.

you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling

rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)

after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend

he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away

"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"

"are you sure-?"

"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"

once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear

"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."

you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"

before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.

how he got to know you

[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?

i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying

[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?

i'm y/n, you?

[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin

after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments

turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception

in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality

even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat

you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships

how he knew he liked you

BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.

he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest

he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor

his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial

"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this

"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"

"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"

when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment

his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy

rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right

back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said

"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"

...

denial huh?

he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.

"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"

his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.

if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?

he passed out eventually completely lost in thought

how you ended up dating

some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie

accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything

yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character

you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm

he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things

what would be worse than losing you, anyways?

and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.

"ri-?"

"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"

"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.

"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"

"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.

that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.

"rin?"

"yes?"

"may i kiss you?"

somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.

dates + other headcanons

MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get

doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him

since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)

he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows

if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby

also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)

SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)

visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him

he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests

whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin blue lock #fluff #headcanons #blue lock headcanons #blue lock

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bonefall · 6 months

Note

considering spiderleg is like *that* and squirelflight being diehard fire alone i cant imagine them being friends in BB like they were sort of in the canon books. were they or did it disolve after time passed and spiderleg got more into traditional/thistle law. also who were her other friends? i saw daisy was in another ask but who else (really eager to know who booed at mousefur and thronclaw lol)

So to begin with, Squirrelflight is in an odd place, generation-wise. She is born while Firestar is on his quest with Brokenstar, and grows up in a period of peace and prosperity.

Unfortunately she keeps failing her goddamn assessments

So while Leafstripe is a fully trained Cleric, Sorreltail recovered from being hit by a car and graduated, and Ashfur tried to hold out for her for a while before moving up, Squirrelpaw is here absolutely eating leaf litter with her wrecklessness

Goldenflower, her mentor, even tries to tell Firestar that she's not being vindictive, just in case he got the wrong idea. He assures her that, no. No he understands <:/

So Spider, Shrew, and Squirrel end up as apprentices together. There was a time where they were really close, getting in trouble in spite of their three strict mentors. Bad influence trio, all of them coming from respected parents and doing their best to embarass them.

That only started to change when Squirrelpaw went on the Great Journey, but then returned just in time to see Shrewpaw die. A lot of things were different, now. Squirrelpaw came back exalted for being on a holy quest. Spiderpaw had watched a lot of his clanmates die. She was spending more time with Brambleclaw; he had become very protective of his little brother, Birchkit.

They had both grown in a flash. Hard times will do that to you.

During the Great Journey, Spiderpaw was really close to the other Clan apprentices while Squirrelpaw hung out with the Sundrown Patrol. Spider looks back at this time in his life with a lurch in his stomach that he can't put into words.

He was there when Paw Soup was made. Talonclaw and Smokefall were friends of his even more than they were friends of little Birchkit. Spiderleg just left it behind when they got to the Lake, where his little brother never could. Clan loyalty, strength, honor... all that. He felt like he had to make a choice.

As a person, Spiderleg is torn in many directions by all of the things that happened to him. His head-of-construction father, his educator mother, his friend who won status by breaking the rules, three dead siblings before his warriorhood, the destruction of his ancestral home, the journey that challenged everything, his mentor Thornclaw, the backfired meeting, ardor for Daisy, crashing down with unwanted kits...

His consistent trait is that he's easily swept up in whatever fills him with the most passion, tossing himself into things until a bubbling sense of disgust makes him break it off. Regardless of if it was the good thing to do or not.

Religious euphoria and self-flagellation just seems to stabilize that impulse, for him.

The last time he was friends with Squilf was during their vigil upon reaching the Lake. They did it together, because they were both long overdue. He thought about Shrewpaw, and wondered if she did too.

But neither one of them broke the silence between them. They still haven't.

#better bones au #BB!TNP #BB!Squirrelflight #BB!Spiderleg #Ppl don't talk enough about that horrible feeling of being at the deathbed of a friendship #Knowing it's dying in front of you #But not knowing how to say goodbye to it. Or if you can stop it.#But the worst part is that even when it dies it hangs in the air #Is it secretly alive? Or is it just haunting you #There's a history between us. Is the look of recognition in your eyes like a shared glance at a grave?#Or is it a silent prayer that what we had can come back from the dead #But too much has changed.#If they hung out past that vigil it was always with that tension in the air.#Until Squilf broke it off with Ash and their friend groups irrevocably split #Though any chance of reconnecting was definitely torched by that Backfired Meeting

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space-helen · 16 days

Text

Grade

Words: 1499

Pairing: All platonic (?) Nick Stokes x Reader, Greg Sanders x Reader, David Hodges x Reader

A/N: This was written back in October (sorry) but enjoy!

Request: Okay so this may be totally very random but idk either- the idea just popped into my head but my writer ass is too filled up with school to have motivation to write so- but like onto the idea.

So like, reader is maybe like, a student/works part time at the lab? And theyre everyones favourite as they can get along with everyone (even hodges though he would be the last to admit it-) but their grades are slipping majorly and no one knows as they keep up the 'im fine' mask before diverting the topic, like how that person is.

But one day maybe they get a grade or something in a subject they really studied for and its very bad or something else happens and someone just finds them in a very random spot and its all fluff :(?

Sorry if this was long and you dont have to write this if you dont want to, I just think your writing is awesome so :)

-🧽/Anon

______________________

You nervously checked your phone again before shoving it back in your pocket. God, you hated waiting for results. It seemed like you'd been on a losing streak recently. No matter how hard you were studying your grades were consistently low. You knew some of your classmates thought it was because of your job in the crime lab but you wouldn't give it up for the world.

"How's it going?" Hodges spoke from the other side of the room.

"Everything's fine." You forced a smile "the tests are running."

"Perfect." He returned his attention back to the work in front of him "You can go for a break if you want. Go grab a coffee, just be back to get the results."

"Thanks. Want me to make you one?"

The man waved you off and gave you a smile "I'll be ok but thank you." Standing up you made sure everything was safe before leaving the room.

Getting into the break room you poured yourself a drink before looking at the snacks on offer today before turning and taking a seat at the table.

"How's it going?" Greg sat across from you at the table, a drink of his own in his hand.

"I'm ok, pretty quiet morning so far."

He laughed "today does seem slower, huh?" He took a sip of his drink as you did yours "have you had the test results back?"

"Yours should be done soon, Hodges told me to take a break while they were-"

"Not those." He interrupted "your grade for the-"

"Oh, they haven't come back yet."

"Are you nervous?"

You shook your head and took another sip of your drink, feeling the hot liquid slightly scold your mouth and throat. "I studied hard, it should be fine like always."

"I respect your positivity so much" he smiled as he checked his phone and then downed the last part of his drink, you weren't sure how he did it really, you knew you wouldn't be able to with the coffee at this temperature. "I have to run but let me know when you get the grade back." As he stood he placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder and gave it a light squeeze "good luck."

You gave him a smile and thanked him but before you knew it he was gone. Enjoying the rest of the silence you flipped through one of the newspapers left on the table before eventually finishing your coffee and cleaning your mug. Walking back down the corridor towards your workstation you felt a notification come in on your phone. Seeing it was your results you opened it immediately but instantly regretted it, another failed test. Diving for the nearest door you opened flung it open and threw yourself through into it. As you stared at your phone screen you could feel tears coming to your eyes quickly as your chest began to feel tighter. This couldn't be happening, not again.

Nick had seen your odd behaviour as he turned the corner. Speeding up his pace he knocked lightly on the storage cupboard door "Y/N is everything ok?" he listened carefully for a response but instead heard your quiet sobs through the door. Opening it carefully he slid inside and his heart felt sorry for you as soon as your tear filled eyes met his.

"Come here." His whispered opening his arms. You closed the small distance and were soon in his arms, allowing him to hug you. "What happened?"

"The test." You sobbed "I just got my grade back" another sob "I failed."

"It's ok. It's ok." The man placed his one hand on your hair to comfort you more as he brought you into his chest.

As he did Greg came to the door and opened it carefully, seeing the two of you he gave Nick a questioning look and mouthed the words 'what's up?'

'Grades' Nick mouthed back and Greg nodded his head. Leaning against the door frame he looked at you sympathetically, knowing how difficult it could be.

"I know it's silly." You pulled away from Nick and wiped your face. "But I worked so hard and it's just like I'm running in circles. Maybe I'm just not good enough."

"Don't say that." Nick said calmly

"Y/N you're literally incredible. Probably the most promising I've seen around here in forever. You're so clever and definitely have what it takes." It was Greg speaking now.

Looking at the man with tears in your eyes you swallowed a sob "It really doesn't feel like it right now."

Nick placed his hand on your shoulder lightly. "You should have said something if you're struggling with grades. We could have helped you out."

"I didn't want you to all think I was stupid."

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Greg teased lightly "We're all in awe at how much you have going on and we'd never think you were stupid."

"Man, you teach me something new most days." Nick added in, moving his hand from your shoulder to your back, gesturing forward with his other hand "let's move from the closet though, it's cramped in here and there's better places to cry in the lab."

Nodding you allowed the men to walk you to somewhere more appropriate, the two of them giving warning glances to anyone staring or small shakes of their head in a 'drop it' fashion to those who looked like they were going to interfere.

Sitting down at your desk, Hodges handed you your results as the two men stood next to you, clearly puzzled by everyone's expressions he had to fill the silence "what's going on-"

"I failed" You cut him off.

The man's jaw was slack "What? How? Wasn't this exam in your main field of expertise? We work on it most days."

You nodded and rested your elbows on the table and your chin on your hands as your eyes skimmed the results he'd handed you "yep."

"You have to ask for a remark."

"Leave it." Nick spoke as he pulled up a stool next to you.

You sighed if Nick and Greg knew, David should probably know too since you worked with him everyday and you were actually quite close to the man. "I've been pretty consistent with my failing grades this semester." You didn't raise your eyes from the piece of paper.

"There has to be some form of favouritism going on." The man shook his head "you've never once made an error in this lab-"

Greg interrupted the man "I don't think this is helping right now."

"No it's fine." You looked up at the men "What's done is done. I can try and redeem myself in the next one but if I fail that too I'll probably have to kiss the lab goodbye."

Hodges grumbled "I'll help you. Whatever you need I'll help."

"Can't we just show them the work you do here? Would that help your grade?" Nick questioned.

You shrugged "we could try, but they'd probably just tell me I've got too much going on. Just like how my friends say it."

"They don't sound very much like friends then do they." Greg scoffed "we're here for you though Y/N, like Hodges said, anything you need." Greg's phone buzzed and he was quickly excusing himself.

You looked back down at the results and slid them in front of Nick as you talked him through them as I'd nothing had happened, the man thanked you and gave you a warm smile before leaving.

"What do you have for me next?" You asked Hodges.

"You can help me prep these samples?"

You smiled and began to cross the room to him when your phone began to ring. Answering the call without looking, you were surprised to hear your University lecturer on the other end..

Locking your phone you slid it into your pocket and took a step back inside your lab space. "You'll never guess what" Hodges gestured for you to continue speaking "There was apparently an error in the system and everyone was given a failing grade. I passed. I’m a little annoyed it happened but-"

"I knew it had to be a mistake.” Hodges quickly added a smile beaming on his face.

"I don't know what my exact grade was but at least it wasn't a fail. She said that although my past grades weren't great the ones they really take into consideration is this one and the next two we get."

He smiled even more "good because I have no clue what I'd do in here without you now"

"Thank you, I really love the opportunity I have to work with you, I've learnt so much-"

He held up his hand "As much as I love to hear it from other people I don't want to hear it from you." He joked "go and tell Nick and Greg."

You nodded "I'll be right back"

"There's no rush, enjoy the news"

Tag List: (open, send an ask or let me know if you want to be added)

CSI: @perasperaadastrawriting

#csi x reader #csi vegas x reader #nick stokes x reader #greg sanders x reader #david hodges x reader

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sadtonight · 2 years

Text

"I like it loose, thanks"

Summary: your boyfriend notices your special way of dressing. Specifically, he realises that your wardrobe consisting solely of oversized things.

Characters: Pomefiore;

Warnings: none (I mean should Vil qualify as a separate warning?), mild spoilers in Rook's section, reader is gender neutral, established romantic relationships;

Side notes: to everyone who dresses like that because I usually don't. Why am I writing this then? Felt like it and it's pretty cute imho~ I personally enjoy wearing both tight fitting and loose clothes, I highly recommend you to experiment with outfits and not be afraid of trying new things.

Vil

— that's the first thing he notices upon meeting you for the first time and even though Vil haven't said it outright it showed in his body language: he kept his arm crossed throughout the conversation, his face relatively high and steely eyes that would run up and down your whole being evaluating every detail;

— professional model was judgemental, it's not something that he would tone down for his friends or especially his partner since he always was seeking to improve himself and what surrounded him daily, including people;

— Vil is not a fan of clothes that do not fit well to put it mildly, whether it be too tight or too loose, so your boyfriend would not lay off until he changes your habits about choosing oversized items over proper fit, or at least not after you propose reasonable arguments as to why he should let you be;

— if you tell him you wear bigger clothes because you are self-conscious about your body or some parts of it...well good luck getting rid of your boyfriend now;

— beautiful male will drag you to every store, shopping mall and boutique in search of perfect clothing that would follow almost all of your demands;

— most of Pomefiore residents would melt if they experienced the same care and conscientiousness that you received from their fair dorm leader. He would ask your opinion on each and every wrinkle in the sketches of the outfit and looks he put together specifically for you and would get moody if you refuse to cooperate;

— if you tell Vil that you just feel comfortable wearing such type of clothes he would be pissed off yet he ultimately would leave you be;

— if anything your boyfriend is now set on making the most with the style you choose and might even drabble in oversize fit to match you. Not if the only things you wear are hoodies and jeans, then he would be wondering if you were truly a blessing or a curse;

— stealing Vil's clothes is strictly forbidden unless you inform him beforehand, however you can only wear them as long as they don't drag against the floor and don't get in the way of your movements. Provided clothes actually not look half bad on you, Vil may buy you your own piece yet it would be not as big as the original, sadly;

Rook

— one word: beautiful! The hunter had pieced together your ways of dressing a bit later than his dorm leader and yet this detail was another reason to fawn over you!

— Rook was acutely interested in why did you wear oversized clothes. Could it be that you are concealing items underneath your clothing? Maybe weapons? How cleaver! He would peak from all possible angles and try to poke and nudge into you, trying to find hidden daggers;

— if you don't mind blond male touching you, once you two are together this way of behaviour will form into the habit where he would often greet you by snaking his gloved hands under your clothes to feel your warmth and maybe get lucky and prompt you to show him some sort of reaction;

— Rook Hunt adores you from top to bottom so whatever reasoning for you style is, he is ready to spectate or aid. That doesn't stop him from recommending you one piece of clothing or another however. Don't take it close to heart, your boyfriend is just a curious person who wants to see his beloved in a variety of attires. Indulge him a few times and for a good while you won't stop hearing love poems he came up with, regarding your looks and emotions they sparked in him;

— if you go out together outside, do not lend him any of your big clothes under any circumstances. Even though the hunter is always ready for any potential prey to come into sight, he can't carry all hunting equipment with himself, especially if it's a formal date. The moment Rook receives your oversized sweater he pounces into the bushes, emerging with a trashing yarn ball and boasting about catching a massive fulvous hare;

— the male bought you several pricey sweaters of your choice in compensation to that ruined one, but you still give him a side eye and reluctantly share your long warm scarf with him ever since that day;

— asking for Rook's clothes can be tricky, because if you were to do so when he was still in Savanaclaw dorm you would only find dirty tatted things instead of shirts and pants. Some things were straight up ripped to shreds which made you feel concerned about your boyfriend well-being;

— there are not many interesting choices in Pomefiore Rook's closet, save for a few hats adorn by feathers and his dorm uniform itself which he gladly gives to you to wear. On a condition that he gets to take an abundant amount of photos with you! Your boisterous boyfriend can't just get enough of you can he?

Epel

—the calmest of the three. Country boy haven't even noticed you wearing oversized things for an extremely long while. It's pretty common to wear whatever you want in his village, Epel himself has worn his father's overalls, shirts and denim jackets, which were bigger than what he was accustomed to. Honestly, he didn't even know what "oversized" meant prior to joining Pomefiore;

— the male was quite envious of the fact that you could dress however you preferred. If he were to wear a hoodie, especially if it was even one size bigger, he would be forced to get an earful from Vil... Speaking of his dorm leader, Epel stopped inviting you over to his dorm precisely because he didn't want you to be scolded;

— once petite male became your boyfriend and got comfortable enough with your presence, he started feeling content in your room, going as far as to call it his second home. One day, Epel had gone bored waiting for you to come back so he scanned the room in search of something engaging when his gaze fallen on your chair;

— there was one of your oversized hoodies, resting on the furniture. Curiously got better of him and the lavender haired boy got up from your bed and pulled the clothing on himself. Epel thought that it would make him seem bigger yet it has done the opposite!! His frame looked even smaller in your hoodie, it resembling more of a dress with how it was reaching past his knees;

— if the first word you say upon seeing him is "cute" your boyfriend will most likely shriek and try to undress himself with all of his might. He doesn't want you to remember him as frail and small damnit! He was supposed to be strong and reliable looking guy!

— shortly speaking, it's Epel who will steal your clothes while you two are alone, occasionally though. Unless you happen to be even smaller than him: expect to be given his clothes frequently, he loves seeing his partner look tiny in his already small attire. It gives him this strange feeling of smugness;

— country boy requested his grandma to make an apple themed sweater for you in hopes of the two of you visiting his home on winter breaks. Epel even considered knitting you a huge woollen scarf with yarn he got from his relatives, almost giving up on the idea at one point;

— knitting is not masculine, he doesn't want anyone and especially you see him doing something girlish...Thanks to his observant vice dorm leader who encouraged the male and unwittingly hinted to inform Vil of Epel's views on knitting, you were presented a cute but a bit crudely knitted scarf from your flustered but relieved with your positive reception boyfriend.

#twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier x reader

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milk-geoculus · 2 months

Text

I made a genshin and sky: children of the light zhongli mix thingy

I cant remember what possessed me to draw this. I've been staying up so late drawing. Even when I was tired I couldn't sleep until I was nearly passing out cuz I wanted to draw it so badly.

But its so fucking cute so I'm not mad

It's more like a 75% genchin and 25% sky and 200% me doing what I felt looked pretty. Idk I haven't actually played sky in months. As cute and fun as it is I just can't seem to keep playing it consistently. That and it's kinda confusing to me. I still love it tho.

Aaaand I figured out a pretty way of rendering hair too. I would use it in the comic buut it takes a long ass time to do. But I might figure out a simpler way of doing it idk.

BUT LOOK AT THE SCALES

I may not have drawn them one by one but holy fuck did it still take a long time and im so happy with them.

I don't have a concrete idea of what this kind of AU thing would be like. I kinda just wanted to draw this. Sky lore is... Confusing to say the least. To me that is. But I think if I do more of this (cuz it's so cute) the world might change a bit to be less... Vague. Not that it's bad or anything but for me, in order to mix sky and genshin... I'm gonna need to adjust stuff... Idk.

Anyway I drew this in pieces (which took so many MANY layers and ibis paint crashing. Thank fuck it autosaves alot for me and my duplicate canvases) so please appreciate the detail I painstakingly preserved with my blood sweat and tears

And i would have drawn a proper mask buut

This was already a lot. I also had a skirt version sketched out because I know his pants aren't exactly like that

But again. It was already a lot.

But I might draw them in the future

#milk post #milk art #zhongli #genshin zhongli #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fanart #genshin morax #rex lapis #sky children of the light #sky cotl #i spent so much energy on this hell yeah im tagging as much as i can

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caramel1mochi · 2 months

Text

One Hazy Winter [Iso x F! Reader] [4]

[ Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 ]

Genre: Angst, fluff ‎

TW: Heavy depression ‎ ‎

Words: 5k ‎

Synopsis: One winter before his disappearance, you told your boyfriend Yu about a question you’ve had for so long; one even he could hardly respond to. It took many more hopeless winters for you to finally have your answer.‎

Note: Please don't copy or steal my work and pass it off as your own! If you'd like to use one of my headcanons or something, I'd love it if you tagged or asked. Good day! Sorry for the delay, I totally haven't been eating up the Iso stuff Valorant's posting for the past few weeks like an Iso zombie, or anything. Also I might start publishing stuff a lot more slowly with everything's coming up, but I'll try my best to keep writing! Have a good read!‎ ‎‎ ‎

‎

。+❤ฺ·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ· +❤·。❤ฺ·。+❤ฺ·

Winter, present day.

‎ ‎

You were tasked with showing up to work extra early today. Not that you had anything important to do, but Ying had an idea, and she always made her grand ideas your or Yu’s problem.

Mostly you, for some reason. Since she was your boss, you never really minded this. Actually, it was starting to grow on you, especially since she seemed incredibly busy with something else and didn’t have many other ways to release her stress.

It was important to note that this wasn’t all daisies and rainbows, however. This plan, though joyous for her, was pure torture for you.

Your path to work today consisted of you carrying a basket concealed at the top with some cloth as you walked down the pavement. Your mistake of not wearing gloves, combined with the brutally cold weather and the heaviness of said basket, it felt like your fingers were about to snap and fall off any second. Despite somehow surviving every single winter in your lifetime, you never bothered purchasing gloves since you had this habit of keeping your hands in your pockets.

Fuelled by a certain someone.

Your thoughts were curt once you pushed the door open, your entrance accompanied by a jingle as you moved towards the counter where Ying was. Though she was writing down a few things on her laptop, she immediately met your gaze with a grin and prioritised greeting you.

The heat inside the café enveloped you, and you immediately welcomed it with open arms whilst you moved.

‎ ‎

“Good morning, Y/N! Did you bring the goods?”

‎ ‎

Take that out of context.

You pocketed your headphones, then slammed the hefty basket on the counter to relieve yourself of the weight, a loud thud echoing through the empty and barely lit café. Then, you slipped off the cloth covering, immediately taking out its contents before she’d get a chance to peek.

‎ ‎

“One,”

‎ ‎

You placed one ripened passion fruit on the table, Ying’s eyes glimmering in excitement as she turned off her laptop and clasped her hands together.

‎ ‎

“Two,” you set down another, “three,” then another, “four, five, six,”

‎

You were careful not to set them down too hard. Despite their thick skin, you knew you could accidentally crush them. And after a whole year of tending to that cursed tree, preventing fungal infections and protecting it from anything that stood between you and a bloody good harvest, smashing the fruits was the last thing you wanted to do.

‎ ‎

“Fifteen.”

‎ ‎

You set down the final one. And by the time you looked up at Ying, her grin grew so wide it could tear her skin open with just one more fruit set to the counter.

‎ ‎

“Wonderful– this is amazing! I can only imagine how many desserts and drinks we can make with this!” She held one fruit and let her thumb scan the wrinkly skin. “And how’re your other trees, if I may ask?”

‎ ‎

With a shrug, the basket was tossed aside and you made your way behind the counter, taking out a knife from a nearby drawer. Your fingers were noticeably less stiff thanks to the heat. Though it still hurt to bend them, it wasn’t as bad as, you know, probably approaching hypothermia.

‎ ‎

“We have to wait until next summer for the harvest, I’m afraid.”

‎ ‎

“Ah, is that so? No problem; the profits we’ll make from this should make up for the time lost!”

‎ ‎

She noted with the same enthusiasm from the moment you showed her a single fruit.

You didn’t want to waste your time making the pies. Your task was to grow the fruit, not cook them. At least until she said otherwise. Again, Ying was your boss.

Once you put down the chopping board and knife you previously washed, she handed you the fruit and allowed you to cut into it. And with just one slice, it parted to reveal a slew of yellow deliciousness glimmering under the light, waiting to be ingested. Ying aimed for said ‘deliciousness’. You, however, already aimed to keep the seeds for yourself.

She took the sliced fruit and trotted off, letting you take the others and continue cutting into them. The silence was immediately broken, however, especially once another thing popped up in her mind.

‎ ‎

“I don’t want to sound like a creep, but…” she piped up from behind, “I noticed you started listening to music on the way here again.”

‎ ‎

You paused.

Right… The headphones. You mindlessly took them out last week and started using them whilst pruning your tree, the action comparable to pouring yourself a glass of water to go with a meal. As if there was no emotional attachment to such a thing.

And it felt good, now that she mentioned it. No– it felt triumphant, actually. More pleasing than coming to work with a basketful of fruit with only the bustling of the streets to accompany you. Not that your taste in music was anything crazy, but, you know.

You promptly went back to slicing through the fruit. It took a great deal of effort not to let the looming sense of despondency consume you as if it were a blue whale.

‎ ‎

“Yeah, I… Gardening is as distracting as I remember it to be.”

‎ ‎

“You’re not going to drop it, are you?”

‎ ‎

“No, no. Not at all.”

‎ ‎

It gave you something to do other than sulk in bed all day. Ying took the sliced fruit with a smile you barely caught from the corner of your eye, before moving back to the counter behind you.

‎ ‎

“I’ve actually purchased a few other things to go along with the pies we’re making. Would you like the seeds?”

‎ ‎

You looked back to see her taking out a few other fruits and setting them on the crowded counter, right next to what you discovered was a colander. The colours of said fruit pleasantly stood out against the variety of beiges and the muted tones of the outside world. A few oranges sat adjacent to the sliced passion fruit from you, some store-bought passion fruit alongside those ones, and…

‎ ‎

“I was told oranges were your specialty a while ago. I’m hoping that’s still the case.”

‎ ‎

“...What lemon is that?”

‎ ‎

Ying paused to look back at what she’d set down, before perking up and grabbing the exact fruit you were eyeing.

‎ ‎

“Ah, you noticed? It’s a Meyer lemon! I had to wait for December and go so far to find them; I still somehow only managed to purchase two before they sold out.” She grinned to herself whilst handing it to you. “I don’t know how you used to get so many all the time.”

‎ ‎

You set down the blade, then moved to take the lemon from her, observing its familiar shape and colour. Soft, round, thin skin, and a deeper tint of yellow juxtaposed to its regular counterpart. Just how you remembered it to be.

‎ ‎

“Where’d you find them?”

‎ ‎

Ying tittered and took out another lemon, setting it alongside the pile of fruit she’d already placed.

‎ ‎

“That’s a secret. Anyhow, I’ll need to fire up the ovens now and call in a few others. I guarantee that…”

‎ ‎

She continued speaking, but you tuned her out in favour of taking in the lemon’s characteristics all over again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen one of those. Heck, it’s been a while since you were even able to stomach thinking about Meyer lemons. But now, sure, they were doing their cursed job of reminding you of Yu, but what chiefly took over your mind was how you’d be able to plant this on your balcony again. The process, the space, all of that previously buried information was now slowly digging itself out. Huh.

A cold sensation on your thumb snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked down to realise that you accidentally dented the skin, deep enough for the juice to spill. You promptly shook your head and went back to work.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

It took a while for you to finally clean out all of the pots and fill them with their respective soils. And it took an even longer while for you to plant your seeds, organising them outside on the balcony, where there was more room. Your apartment was now slowly growing more and more synonymous with a forest. Plants and bushes everywhere, you swore the air also started to change the more you tended to all of it.

You stood back and proudly dusted off your hands, heaving a tired sigh in the process of catching your breath. Despite the cold temperature that poked at your skin like an army of wasps, you were still heavily sweating, and it felt like your chest was burning.

How the heck did you do this all the time without anyone’s help? You thought, but again, you were more physically capable of things like this given your… erm, better diet and mental state. Better than whatever the heck it was now before Ying convinced you to pick up gardening again. It felt like your muscles had deteriorated after a year of… well, after a year.

Whatever. If there was one thing you were going to do, it’s to return to how you were before Yu left. Maybe even better. And these plants were the first step to getting there. You took the pen and sticky notes set on a table near the corner and began writing. The ice cold temperature of said pen stung your fingers, but it’s not like that stopped you.

‘orange’, and ‘passion fruit’.

But you stopped halfway through writing the word ‘lemon’. You haven’t planted any lemons. In fact, you ran out of pots, as unbelievable as that sounded.

You wanted to plant the lemons right now. No, you needed to. If you don’t start now, how long will it take until you finally get fruit? Besides, Ying’s thirst for fresh fruit wouldn’t be quenched any time soon.

But… there was no room.

…

You sighed, and went back inside. There was one solution in mind. But that solution required a level of bravery you could never hope to achieve. And now that she mentioned it, you could hardly put on the headphones without thinking of Yu. You barely managed to plant those two fruits without being reminded of your parents over and over; how were you supposed to even think of approaching Meyer lemons?

It just seemed too ambitious. It seemed like it was too soon, especially when you were still technically grieving Yu’s disappearance.

But the idea was tempting, to plant the lemons in Yu’s backyard. His house was practically abandoned, right? It wasn’t… occupied. How could you, though? Exploit your boyfriend’s generosity like that? Not only his generosity, but for sharing something so vulnerable with you, only to be used for your own selfish goals when he wasn’t around to–

Your thoughts were interrupted once the music in your ears paused in favour of the ringtone that began playing. Someone was calling. And you rushed to your phone on the other side of the balcony, checking the name.

Ying.

Why would she be calling you today? At night?Nevertheless, you answered and pocketed the device.

‎ ‎

“Hello?”

‎ ‎

“Good evening!”

‎ ‎

You immediately flinched at the sound of multiple plates clanking against each other. That wasn’t to mention the people speaking loudly in the background. Though far away and, quite frankly, muffled, you were too used to the serene ambient playlist you had going.

‎ ‎

"Ying, it's ten. Why're you still at work?"

‎ ‎

"You should've seen it, Y/N! People went crazy over the pastries, they– they think I put some kind of secret ingredient in there! No, in fact, they actively avoided the store-bought passion fruit; they wanted yours!" She excitedly laughed to herself. "Can you believe it? I never thought using fresh fruit could have such an effect!"

‎ ‎

You ran your fingers through your messy hair, unable to hold back the smirk that painted your features.

‎ ‎

"No kidding."

‎ ‎

"I'll give you a cut of it this month. But we're only a few sales shy of purchasing that painting! What would I do without you, Y/N?"

‎ ‎

She let out a content sigh. You noted the unwavering excitement in her voice. Heck, you even knew that her cheeks were currently twisting to accommodate a wide smile despite being on the other side of the phone. But she kept the volume of her voice low, almost as if she were holding herself back in order to maintain her air of professionalism, or whatever.

But…

‎ ‎

“Ying. We need to talk.”

‎ ‎

“Wait, just one second.”

‎ ‎

Ying muted her microphone before you could tell her about what ran through your mind. And the doubt grew the more seconds that passed. Should you really tell her what was going on, or should you just deal with it alone?

Your heart jumped out of your chest once you heard an audible thud from behind you, quickly turning to see what the noise was. But you immediately calmed down the moment you recognised the wrinkly lump that sat on the ground, barely reflecting the light off of its thick purple skin.

It was a passion fruit from the tree. You… missed one.

Ying then unmuted, snatching your attention with ease.

‎ ‎

“I’m sorry, what were we saying?”

‎ ‎

"Something about a painting. Look, there’s something important..." you glanced at the other pots as you leaned on the wall behind you, "Ying, there's no more room."

‎ ‎

"Huh? For the plants?"

‎ ‎

"Yes. My balcony is full, and I ran out of pots."

‎ ‎

"I see... And buying a new pot is not an option, is it?"

‎ ‎

"No."

‎ ‎

You sighed, running your fingers through your hair.

‎ ‎

"I– I have a solution in mind, but it's hard to swallow."

‎ ‎

Your voice shifted to a hushed whisper towards the end of that sentence, and the despondency hit you like a truck. Was this even a good idea? Was telling her a good idea? What if she shuns you for such a thing?

‎ ‎

"What is it?"

‎ ‎

Silence settled for a moment, before you finally gathered the remnants of courage you had and spoke up.

‎ ‎

"I'm..." you started, "I'm thinking of planting the lemons in his house. In his… backyard"

‎ ‎

...

‎ ‎

"His... house?"

‎ ‎

"Yes."

‎ ‎

Crap. The silence must be indicative of shock; she must be disgusted by this selfish idea, just like you were. This was the exact reaction you were afraid o–

‎ ‎

"Ah, that's a great idea! I assume you visited his house before; do you still have the keys?"

‎ ‎

"I do. He gave them to me."

‎ ‎

"Perfect, then yes, I think you should do it!"

‎ ‎

Ying cried out in excitement, all of the professionalism she feigned melting like ice cream on a hot summer day, all because of you. Presumably in public, considering the bustling you still heard from the other side.

So much for maintaining her mellowness…

‎ ‎

"Yu told me once about how dead his house felt, no matter what he’d do. This could be the most ideal solution to that!"

‎ ‎

"In what way is that the solution?"

‎ ‎

You said with a wry laugh as you opened the door and went back inside, but Ying wasn't bothered by your pessimism whatsoever.

‎ ‎

"Because gardening is the perfect contrast to death!"

‎ ‎

...

‎ ‎

"Pardon?"

‎ ‎

"When you strip down all of the complicated details, gardening is technically giving life to an inanimate object, Y/N! You take a seed, something no different from a– a rock– a pebble, and nurture it. You turn it into a tree, and it's amazing! It's an extraordinary process!"

‎ ‎

You were expecting her to mention the still air, how having plants there would freshen it up, or the fact that his house was generally abandoned and it would be more beneficial to just use it, but this wasn’t what was in your mind.

‎ ‎

"...Ying, look, I respect your fascination with philosophy, but this is–"

‎ ‎

"Not only that, but a tree is a being that benefits everything around it. It– it replaces the oxygen, it bears fruit, and it returns what it has taken from its environment!"

‎ ‎

"Ying."

‎ ‎

"Think about it! When you picture a ghost town, what comes to mind? Now imagine that ghost town with a touch of mother nature. Fascinating, right?"

‎ ‎

Oh my god.

She seemed far too swept away with this topic, as if these thoughts had been festering in her head for the past few months with no outlet... until you came into the picture. Wait just a second, was this why she wanted you to go back to gardening? Or maybe you were just overthinking things.

Your words, however, fell on deaf ears as you tried to drag her back down to reality.

‎ ‎

"I think you should understand how valuable gardening is, Y/N–"

‎ ‎

"Ying!"

‎ ‎

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I–" She tittered, clearly embarrassed. "I must've gotten carried away."

‎ ‎

“It’s fine.”

‎ ‎

She already sounded cheesy throughout this entire ordeal, but this was starting to get out of hand. You sighed, unable to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot as you stared out the window, observing a family of three hopping on a bus.

In fact, it wasn't too far-fetched to assume that Ying had a high opinion of you for your gardening just as Yu did this whole time, and she was indirectly telling you now. What else could possibly explain this random tangent?

…An idea promptly popped up.

‎ ‎

"Look, Ying, I have to go. I need to… do something."

‎ ‎

You immediately stood up from the couch and left to take out the sealed bag full of seeds stashed deep within the kitchen’s cupboards.

‎ ‎

“Do something?”

‎ ‎

"I'll ring you up later. We'll keep talking about this on Monday."

‎ ‎

All Ying did was successfully add on to your confusion for the past few minutes, sure, but maybe she also ignited a bit of inspiration in you, given what you were doing. Then, you turned and grabbed a few keys from your drawers, shoving them in the pockets of the thick coat you were about to wear.

‎ ‎

"Oh, I see. I’ll let you do whatever it is you want to do. And if you’d like any help, I’m one text away."

‎ ‎

Despite being on the other side of the phone, you could feel a misplaced cheeky grin force itself on her face. One that, as opposed to the merry and artless one from before, would absolutely look weird on someone as mature and mellow as her. Well, as mellow as she tried to be. She just couldn’t hold back around you, for some reason.

But it still seems like she caught on.

‎ ‎

“Break a leg out there."

‎ ‎

And with that, you closed the call and pocketed your phone, rushing down the flight of stairs. Only two more minutes until the specific bus you aimed for would arrive, and you did not want to miss it, that’s for sure.

Ying's little tangent was so incredibly cloying, it nearly gave you a headache by the end of it. She spoke like a mum who watched way too many soppy movies from the 90's... Well, you might've caught her recommending a few to your co-workers.

But it may have been exactly what you needed to get you on your feet. You were going to plant those seeds. And in her words, 'bring life back' to that house. You weren’t going to allow the pessimistic side of you convince you otherwise.

Now that you weren't in on call, you were free to take out one earbud and play music once more whilst you ran towards the closed gates.

‎ ‎

❤ฺ·。

‎ ‎

Winter, two and a half years ago.

‎ ‎

Even after a considerable amount of time had passed, Yu’s house remained just as empty as when you first visited it. ‘It’s because I moved most of my stuff to your apartment!’ he explained when you questioned him on it. But if that were the case, why were most of them blankets? Even the bloody misters he brought along were purchased from the stores situated outside of your complex.

Oh, who were you kidding? It was on par for someone like him to own only heaps of blankets and hoodies.

And even though this was your second time visiting it, the place felt lonelier than before, for some reason. The rooms felt vast, despite how tiny they really were. Mostly thanks to the echo and the lack of furniture, but that’s by the by. And that wasn’t to mention the photos strewn around the walls. More specifically, the family photos. They left an impact on you despite being few and far between.

‎ ‎

Across the living room was an arched doorway that led to what would’ve looked like a black hole had it not been for the sunlight. That’s where you two stopped whilst Yu was fiddling with his keys. And instead of letting yourself in, you allowed the dark patterned wall to lead you to something you probably shouldn’t have found so interesting.

Hung above the fireplace was a picture you could hardly see thanks to the dim colour scheme that blended in with the surrounding darkness. Nevertheless, you still managed to outline two specks of purple on a toddler’s eyes, surrounded by stunning green foliage and the Russian violet coat of a woman who carried him.

It was… Yu. Being held by, presumably, his mother. Or his grandmother; it was hard to tell. Who knew he looked like such a cute baby? Also, how the heck did his round cheeks morph into the slick jawline he has right now?

‎ ‎

“Remember how you showed me your balcony a while ago?” Yu’s voice swiftly snatched your attention, “I’d like to show you something in return.”

‎ ‎

“What is it?”

‎ ‎

He moved down the short hallway and opened a cherry door to his left, his steps muffled by the crimson carpet flooring.

‎ ‎

“I left a few keys in my bedroom, can you get them while I go to– uh, while I… do something?”

‎ ‎

He looked at you with an innocent smile, awaiting an answer. Just like the painting, his bright eyes brilliantly shimmered in the darkness. In fact, now that you’ve seen him as a baby, it became harder and harder to resist saying yes.

‎ ‎

“I'll be back.”

‎ ‎

And with that, you moved to his vacant bedroom.

Though there were bedsheets, the bed still lacked a blanket. Which, to be fair, should be expected at this point. Once you flicked the light switch, you promptly took off your shoes and stepped on the large patterned rug, nearing the dusty furniture.

Incidentally, the patterns didn’t fit his style, now that you thought about it. In fact, the entire house looked like it was decorated by someone older. Much, much older. And Yu was way too dorky to fit that criteria. But whatever.

Searching was easy at best, especially since most of the drawers on the vanity table were empty. Within a few picoseconds of opening and slamming them, you were done, and had already moved on to the closet that harboured a few hoodies at best. Where the heck was the key? ‎ ‎

“Yu, where is it?”

‎ ‎

You called out, your voice echoing through the house. And it took only a few seconds before he shouted his response from what seemed to be… outside?

‎ ‎

“On the bedside table, it should be on the right!”

‎ ‎

You sighed and moved to the one on the right.

But just as you pulled the drawer back, you heard a large gust of wind billow through the house. Accompanying that wind was a cold sensation that forced you to shiver as you searched.

‎ ‎

“What’re you doing out there, Yu?”

‎ ‎

The moment you slammed the drawer shut, he presumably closed the door as well and prevented the air from further entering.

‎ ‎

“Nothing! I’ll show you when you’re back.”

‎ ‎

‘When you’re back’, huh? Jeez, you weren’t sure whether he was preparing something cute or trying to stop a disaster from happening.

‎ ‎

“Careful. You have no idea how high my expectations are getting.”

‎ ‎

He responded with a barely audible chuckle, and your cold heart just about melted. Since the top was empty, you pulled back the bottom drawer instead. However, just as your eyes settled on the objects inside, your mind went blank.

A medallion glimmered under the weak lights above you. And despite the darkness, you could outline an hourglass symbol etched onto the reflective object. But that wasn’t what concerned you. What concerned you was the gun that sat right next to it.

Why was there a gun?

‎ ‎

“Did you find it?”

‎ ‎

You jumped and shut the drawer, turning to see him standing behind you.

‎ ‎

“Uh– no, no I haven’t.”

‎ ‎

“Really? I know I put it there.”

‎ ‎

Within a few steps, Yu already found himself right next to you, and he pulled the first drawer open, grabbing the keys that were concealed by the sharp shadows.

‎ ‎

“Here it is. It must’ve been the lights.”

‎ ‎

“I… guess it was.”

‎ ‎

There was a gun in the bottom drawer.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay? You look pale.”

‎ ‎

He cupped your cheek in his hand, wiping away a bead of sweat with his thumb. Just as he did that, however, you quickly broke the embrace and took a step back.

‎ ‎

“Yes, I’m fine. I just need some air.”

‎ ‎

He was surprised. That much, you could tell.

‎ ‎

“Oh… Okay, follow me.”

‎ ‎

He promptly led you outside and took a sharp turn to the right, leading you towards a section of the house you haven’t explored yet. But that didn’t concern you. Instead, you kept your eyes on the ground as you followed him, unable to control the questions that took over you. Why would there be a gun in his bedroom? Should you bring it up? And what about that medallion? It was next to the weapon…

Okay, maybe you were overthinking things. It could be some band, or something. Maybe the gun was fake. Heck, maybe you didn’t see a gun at all. Maybe you were–

‎ ‎

“Here, you’ll need this.”

‎ ‎

Your thoughts were knocked out of your head once you saw Yu grab something from the nearby wall and hold it up to you.

Turns out it was a robe. He took it from the nearby coat stand. Long and soft, its pristine beige tufts were highlighted by the sunlight. It was only once your eyes settled on the wooden double doors did you realise that he planned on taking you outside…

Oh.

‎ ‎

“You have a backyard?”

‎ ‎

“Mhm.”

‎ ‎

He draped the robe over you, allowing the thin yet warm material to enfold and protect you from the oncoming wave of cold. Then, he opened the door and let in even more sunlight.

You stepped out and observed the area around you. Closed off by a fence of stone, heaven itself stood before you… if it weren’t drowning in snow. Thanks to the winter season, what would’ve been a stunning tree was instead a massive dead log that barely held itself, its branches protruding outwards in a sickly manner.

You took a few steps forward as you took in the place, allowing the fresh air to fill your lungs.

‎ ‎

“If I were you, I’d only leave this place in the winter.”

‎ ‎

“And let your fruit die?”

‎ ‎

You stopped, taking a moment to process how that related to the current conversation. And it only took a few seconds for it to click.

‎ ‎

“Is that your way of inviting me to plant here?”

‎ ‎

He shrugged innocently.

‎ ‎

“You said it. Not me.”

‎ ‎

You smiled and allowed him to pull you into a hug, your head pressing up against his chest. Despite the misapprehension that he was, ahem, ‘subtle’, he was the exact opposite.

‎ ‎

“Shouldn’t you build a swimming pool here? For summer…”

‎ ‎

“Hmm. That’s an idea.”

‎ ‎

He thoughtfully mumbled to himself, before something else caught your attention. The hoodie that he wore was loose, now that he had taken off his jacket and scarf. It revealed a good portion of his neck.

However, before you could point this out, he pulled away and spoke up once more.

‎ ‎

“I don’t like spending too much time here, to be honest. Too many… uh, memories. But maybe…” he weakly smiled, “maybe you’ll find this place more useful than I ever could.”

‎ ‎

With his hands in yours, you felt an unfamiliar texture on your palm. It was only when he pulled away that you realised that he had given you the two keys from the bedroom drawer.

‎ ‎

“These are the spare keys. You gave me yours; it’s… only fair I give you mine.”

‎ ‎

You stared at him in silence, the ice cold metal settling in the warm palm of your hand. But instead of feeling some sort of joy, you felt your stomach churn at the thought of the gun.

Even without said gun to cloud your mind, you had no idea how to feel about this. Should you be happy, sad, or relieved? How did he feel when you gave him your keys? It was as if you were unappreciative of anything he did, like sadness was the only thing your mind knew how to feel. And that wasn’t what you–

His hand landed on your shoulder, snapping you out of your panicked frenzy.

‎ ‎

“Are you okay?”

‎ ‎

You sighed.

‎ ‎

“Yu, I–”

‎ ‎

You were torn between asking him about the gun and admitting how you felt. Either way, it was a lose-lose dichotomy.

…

You grabbed his hand, fingers interlocked like two puzzle pieces connecting.

‎ ‎

“You’re cold.”

‎ ‎

“Hm?”

‎ ‎

If you were stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea, you might as well dig yourself out, right? And that’s what you did.

You pocketed the keys, then held his hand in both of yours to check his temperature. And you were right; he was starting to get cold. Very cold.

‎ ‎

“It– it’s not that bad, Y/N. Really. The hoodie is warm enough.”

‎ ‎

“Don’t start with that. You’ll get a fever.”

‎ ‎

A misplaced grin painted his features.

‎ ‎

“Really?”

‎ ‎

You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer.

‎ ‎

“Shut up and come here.”

‎ ‎

Yu lightly laughed as you wrapped the soft robe around him, bringing him to you to share your warmth. Of course the thought of you nursing him back to health was tempting to him. Knowing how cheesy he was, you’d have to be watchful so that he wouldn’t orchestrate something like that.

With his arm around your shoulder, you took out the keys again, sombrely observing their shape.

42 notes · View notes

tempenensis · 7 months

Note

I know you don't usually weigh in on non-canon content, but I've seen a lot of people say 236 was a bad ending, or like gege joked, that things are moving too fast or he's missed a chapter (or 20, I'm personally annoyed that we jumped from Nov to Dec 24, I know gege wants the manga to end for some reason, but those three weeks of training/preparation would have been a great time to let us get re-invested in the student characters since the culling game arc felt like it was missing so much)

Do you have any feeling for what could have been a better way to end things, if indeed things are ended, for Gojou Satoru? Or do you agree that things have been moving too fast?

Sorry for this and please feel free not to answer if this is not the kind of question you want to entertain, I am just curious if you have an opinion you're willing to share since I feel you have a very good grasp of the jjk's plot and themes! I trained as a literature major, so my interest is always in whether character consistency is maintained and what a story is saying and whether that message is carried successfully or not and what that might mean for us as readers. I'm personally still on the fence about this particular twist because I'm trying to withhold judgement of the piece until we actually see it as a whole, but I am starting to feel that the narrative started to unravel a bit after Shibuya, like somehow we didn't see a lot of the characters to their full potential (like Nobara T.T my baby Nobara). Maybe this is just part of gege's notorious fast pace.

Some of this I believe is due to JJK's titular meaning of the issue of curses and what they represent being an "endless battle" but there's only so many times one can show hopelessness and loss I think before it becomes almost redundant. We actually haven't seen that many on-screen sorcerer deaths, but somehow it's been two of the most popular adult characters so far, and only direct mentors, which is a frequent trope of the hero's journey in western literature. I think that even though I really wish it hadn't happened, Nanami's ending made a lot of sense. Power-wise, Gojo's current death also makes sense, and he's not the kind of character who instantly changes his mind or learns something in his heart from a single experience, but I think it feels somewhat frustrating from my point of view because despite the bodhisattva imagery, he had more to learn as a living person, rather than continuing to believe he was like a flower and maybe no one had the right to ask him to understand. I don't know, it's just a bit frustrating for me because I think it feels character consistent (which I think gege tends to be pretty good at) but somehow incomplete too.

Again my apologies for the long ask, you're always the one I wish I could sit down and have a conversation about these things with!

-raindrop anon

Hi, raindrop anon,. Good to see you again.

First of all, I don't really think Gojou's death is particularly bad, but yeah, as you said, there might be something leaves to be desired in the plot - if jjk is a traditional shonen manga, that is. But jjk is different, which is also the reason for its popularity. I feel that jjk storytelling has always been fast-paced, and one thing that Akutami-sensei does really well is to stick to the main points that he wants to tell with his manga. The last time we have a non-serious non-battle chapter was probably chapter 64 lol - but at the same time, this also shows how jjk departs from the traditional shonen jump manga custom where the mangaka tends to drag the story to make the manga runs longer. Gege on the other hand, seems adamant to want to end the story sooner than later (if his last estimation is to be believed, only a few months left for jjk).

I don't actually have a strong feeling of how gege should end thing with Gojou, but it's been a habit of him to get to the.. shocking side of things; we see this with Gojou getting sealed back in Shibuya. Nanami's death. Then we see the Culling game, and Tengen getting killed. And lastly for Gojou to die. The longstanding status quo is going to be changed eventually. And the next one with status quo is already targeted; Sukuna himself.

As I follow this manga, "things moving too fast" has always been the opinion I saw a lot discussed here in my askbox for many, many developments in the manga. And this is more of a personal preference, but I actually like the fast-get-to-the-point-storytelling that Gege uses with jjk, exactly because how it breaks away from traditional jump manga. I feel that this fast pace is just how gege do his storytelling since the beginning lol

tldr is all I can say is jjk has always been different and fast-paced, gege is unpredictable, and I'm in the opinion that Gojou's death does make sense, unfortunately :')

#le-ask #jjk #jjk manga spoilers #jjk236 #gojou satoru

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creatingnikki · 6 months

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When you love yourself enough, meaning when you understand your needs enough and believe that they are worthy, you will no longer find attractive people who cannot fulfill those things for you.

— Mayim Bialik

Over 50% of those in my life do not fulfill my needs. What does this say about them? What does this say about me? Why do I find them attractive? Do I really not love myself? Do I really not understand myself? Think my needs are not worthy of being met?

Why was I obsessing over the possibility of this new friend when he is so flaky and bad at basic texting? What about him did I find so attractive? The idea of the kind of friend he could be and the idea of the kind of friendship we could nurture. But that's the thing — if I keep being attracted to the idea of what can be, falling in love with the potential of people I meet, that's not seeing the glass as half full. That is seeing a mirage in a desert. I may think it's an oasis but it's only an illusion. It will not even leave me thirsty but dehydrated. And we all know that can be fatal.

What are my needs? My basic needs in relation to another person are consistency, communication, effort, and sincerity. And whether or not a person is capable of meeting these needs...time is the only way to know. You have to give people time. You have to give yourself time. Haven't you learned this lesson time and again?

Time is the best revealer of a person's personality and intentions. Not your intuition, not the spark you may feel with them, not their words, not even isolated actions. Only time.

Also take some time to understand your needs better, to understand yourself better. You are someone who wants to be seen, understood, and loved. You are someone who wants to feel safe. You are someone who wants to be taken care of. You are someone who wants to spend quality time on a regular basis with those you like.

You are someone who wants to hear the other person express how much they like you, what makes them think of you, the things they want to do with you, how they felt about spending time with you. You are someone who wants the other person to remember the little things about you like how you don't eat mushrooms and how you get when you drink wine vs vodka vs whisky. You are someone who wants them to plan things to do together and to be proactive and exert themselves and not put the headache of all the logistics on you.

You are someone who wants long hugs and reassurance. You are someone who wants to feel wanted and needed and desired and devoured.

I don't know if this is all just the bare minimum or if it's all too much. I don't care. All I know is these are my needs. And I know for a fact that they are worthy of being met because I am.

And there are no double standards here right. These are things I do and will do for those who mean something to me. And take the effort of understanding their needs and seeing how I can fulfill them.

I know it probably can never get to 100%. I cannot have 100% of the people in my life who fulfil most of my needs. But I at least want 20% of the people to meet 80% of my needs. Because those 20% of the people will mean the most to me. My friends, family, and partner.

But right now it feels like 80% of the people in my life don't even manage to meet 20% of my needs. And that's a very horrible feeling. And a sure shot recipe of feeling lonely, dissatisfied, and jaded. And 26 is too young to feel this way.

#notes to self #writerscreed #poeticstories #twc poetry #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #mayim bialik #notes to me #things to remember #self love #self awareness #self development #friends and lovers #i am worthy #creatingnikki

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colossal-niamh · 2 months

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A long vent on MJF's world title run shaped like an essay

There's been a consistent debate about the quality of MJF's title run post mortem and I think I fully stand on the side that it was terrible. Possibly even the worst world title run AEW's had yet (aside from CM Punk's nonexistent 2nd run). Overly lengthy, rarely defended the belt on tv (a total of 5 times in 406 days), diminishing returns on title matches (the Double or Nothing and Full Gear matches are especially bad) and I grew more cold on him as he turned more and more face.

In retrospect I fully believe he should have dropped the belt at All In. obviously creative didn't have the booking foresight to plan around Adam Cole's ankle exploding, but I don't think we needed another 4 months of MJF title run. They should have started the big betrayal and new heel faction at the biggest show the company's ever run and not when both sides of the big feud are too bruised and beaten to work an angle. but that's more fantasy booking than proper analysis.

The Length of MJF's run felt excessive and unnecessary considering the lack of anything substantial for several stretches on TV. A lot of the builds for his title defenses were him being challenged by someone and then MJF sets up a bunch of stipulations to get that match like a gauntlet his opponent would run through. This led to some solid TV matches like Bryan vs Rush, but left the show devoid of MJF himself outside of being essentially a talking head. AEW prior had made sure the world champ was on the card and the belt was a hotly contested prize. Without those regular matches on TV it felt the world champion was distant from the product and was what the world title scene had avoided up to that point, avoidable.

The actual matches MJF did have were inconsistent in quality and in particular his pay per view matches steadily got worse as his run went on. I will say up front I like the ironman match with Bryan and the match with Tanahashi is the only title defense I haven't seen, so maybe that one might be some hidden gem I missed. As for the others, they either range from alright like the Mox and Samoa Joe matches where he won and lost the titles respectively, to legitimately the worst PPV world title match AEW's had in the 4 pillars 4-way. A match where 4 guys nowhere near skilled or experienced enough to put on a quality world title match, which also floundered due to the build up being MJF failing to bounce off of 3 guys with sub par promo skills (side note, Sammy Guevara is the worst promo in the company, bar none). I think the main factor for this is a borrowed observation from Joseph Montecillo's review* of the Jay White match from Full Gear

"This match with Jay White is a strange mix of good and interesting ideas shaped into the entirely wrong fashion. It’s an unwieldy uncanny valley kind of creation–all the elements of “good” wrestling are there but in the wrong order, mutated and warped into an ugly whole. Everything about it feels discordant, unpleasant to behold.

MJF knows all the words, but not the music."

MJF knows what a good match looks like, but doesn't know how to pace or structure one. he's like a artist with some cool OCs and a story in his head, but he doesn't get the mechanics of panel flow and puts too many speech bubbles in the panels.

I found his heel work as champion standard practice for him but good, however as he pivoted to being a face I was fond at first but progressively soured on him. He's an excellent chicken shit heel and capable of some absolute bastard behavior, in fact he's too good. Face MJF comes off as disingenuous mainly for two reason. Number one his entire AEW run was defined by how heinous and untrustworthy he was, literally in the same run he turned face he hospitalized William Regal and shoot threw a drink at a kid on live PPV. Number two is that once he was portrayed as a face, he kept doing shit the exact same as when he was a heel, but now with a cheep city pop and a "I'm your sucmbag!" Once he had a friend AEW portrayed him as a loveable scamp for stuff commentary would curse him out for over half a year ago. He kept the sleezy prick routine and the body shaming and the only real noticeable change is his name calling somehow got worse. The big example of how face MJF doesn't work is the Jay White feud. Lizzy Flanagan at The Sportster* makes the point I'd like to make exactly.

"MJF’s go-to tactic to being a babyface has been garnering sympathy, but his sob story about being bullied as a well-off middle-class child in Long Island has been repeated three or four times now. He then resorts to humor, but the best he can come up with is calling Jay White tofu. Then, he tries some crowd work. This usually works fairly well, as the AEW crowd wants to see MJF succeed, but the promos can’t help but come across as cheesy and cliché. You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig. You can put a t-shirt and a smile on MJF. MJF is still a heel."

His face work feels fake and undercooked, so when put in a program with a fully realized and, frankly, better character like Jay White, Face MJF falls flat. The guy who's supposed to be the man of the people who recently turned over a new leaf is the same guy that flipped of a child at a public autograph event and mocked Darby Allen's dead uncle. The only thing that's changed as a character is now he has crocodile tears.

MJF's run as world champion was an abject failure. A spotlight that exposed the weakest parts of one of AEW's most popular performers during a creatively frustrating time in the company's short history. An example of many flaws in the modern wrestling landscape and the creative short comings of the man himself. As I write this I assume once Max recovers he'll take up the vengeful babyface role, chasing Cole and his faction. Do I hope it works? sure, but to I expect it to work? No, the experiment failed and it's inevitable that MJF will turn heel again. He has nothing without the bitter chicken shit heel persona, as a face he's a dog with no teeth. All bark, no bite.

*(Links to articles referenced in the replies below)

#aew #aew rampage #aew dynamite #aew collision #mjf #maxwell jacob friedman #all elite wrestling #wrestling

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the-light-finds-its-way · 4 months

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Ya Titan is strong! Powerful!! Brave!! Enough so to realize when he needs to get help and assistance!! :)

I am physically disabled. The pain I feel in my legs and have felt all day every day awake and asleep since I was 11 years old, is finally becoming too much for me. I can still "walk" (read: limp). I can still stand. I can't do either very well or for very long, just a few minutes at a time, a few times a day. I can barely use stairs, and it's only gotten worse over the years.

So, I've decided to get an electric wheelchair. And that is great.

There are days where I can do workouts, walk 4 miles, and be completely fine. Then, there are days like today, where I have to call out of work because I'm in so much pain that I can't get out of bed, let alone move anything at all, without wanting to cry.

Just because I have good days, doesn't mean I can't have bad ones, too, and that those bad days can't be made easier. And a wheelchair is going to make things FAR better and easier for myself, and my poorly body.

I don't remember what it's like to walk, only what it's like to limp. I've never been pain free, but I manage the pain by sitting down. I haven't run since I was 9 years old, and now, I'm in my mid 20s.

When I was born, my parents were told I'd have a 1/100 chance to survive my heart and organ conditions, and that if I did, I'd be disabled and likely pass on early in life. For a brief few years, I could run, I could walk. Things were normal. I don't remember those days much, but there was one day where I ran, and began coughing profusely. I choked. That was... strange. Maybe I was sick? I got bronchitis frequently (3-4x a year), so maybe it was that?

In gym class, I continued trying to run. Every time, I'd start coughing uncontrollably, and struggle to breathe. I chose to stop running, and that didn't sit well with my teachers. At all.

Shortly thereafter, I began to get cramps in my legs. Kind of like growing pains, but not exactly... And then, months later, I hadn't grown one bit. But the pain stayed. Everyone around me was growing! But I stayed the same height, 4ft11in tall. Others reached well past 6ft. Their pains went away, but I knew this was something more, especially when, after 2 years, I was stuck at that height, and still in pain.

I resorted to limping everywhere, my legs aching constantly in random places, never consistent or in any pattern. My parents continued to tell me, for another 3 years, I was just growing. I'd grow out of the pain.

By 14, even my mom knew something was wrong because the pain was still there, and I still hadn't grown, and I still couldn't run without coughing. She went ahead, called a specialist, and brought me to him. I got blood work done, and when he looked over it, he said I was too young for lupus or arthritis, so he passed it off as an unknown illness, and sent me on my way without anything else.

My mom was livid. For another 2 years, she sought doctors to help me, with no success. By a miracle, my grandfather went to the hospital for pneumonia, and his nurse was a doctor who helped tremendously. Somehow, my mom convinced this doctor to take me on, despite the fact that I was 2 years too young for her practice, and when the doctor heard about my problems, she immediately sent me for more blood testing, called me in the moment results came, and diagnosed me with arthritis and lupus. She sent me to an asthma specialist, who diagnosed me with athletically induced asthma, and allergy asthma after several tests. I got an inhaler, and finally, I could work out without coughing!

But I still couldn't run without severe pain. I was still limping. And I was told, that pain will never go away. It will never get better, only worse. And I have no choice but to live with it forever.

And ever since, I've gone on, suffering, limping, never going very far. I can't go shopping without leaning on a cart, or cane. I can't go up a single flight of 5 stairs. And so, I acknowledged at long last that I need a wheelchair, and it's ok. This isn't a failure. This isn't giving up. Just like I have to get therapy and meds for my PTSD, and other mental illnesses, I have to get a mobility aid for my physical well-being.

I learned, when I was diagnosed with my mental illnesses, and reached my breaking point, I had to get help, and that there is nothing wrong with that, and there's no shame in it. It shows how strong I am because it proves I know when I need to rely on others since I've done all I can alone, and that has inherent strength in and of itself because accepting help is a step toward being more powerful by yourself.

And getting a mobility aid, I realized, is no different. It's accepting help so I can be more powerful on my own.

My father made me believe for years that accepting any help is a sign of weakness, and shows you're broken. He taught me that wheelchairs are exclusively for those who cannot walk at all, who are paralyzed or deformed or don't have legs.

But I've met a few specific people who, they've shown me otherwise. They're like me: they can walk, but it's hard and it hurts. And they taught me, I don't have to suffer by pretending to be able bodied. I don't have to mask as abled just to please my father, or society, or whoever. Just as I stopped masking my autism, I'm going to stop masking my physical disabilities.

And my old teacher, who supported me in every way throughout high school when almost everyone else made fun of me, said I'd amount to nothing, and wouldn't make it as a creative, she messaged me last night saying she has a wheelchair she's looking to get rid of, that it takes up room, and she'd love to help me out by selling it to me for whatever I think it's worth.

So, happy holidays to me. :) I'm buying a wheelchair, and I'm regaining my freedom. The pain may never get better, but my life as a whole can. And damn. My 2024 is looking great. Concerts, LARPs, 2 or more Renaissance festivals, a trip to Disney with my friends, another trip to the Poconos with the same people just weeks later, and finishing off the year with the Texas Viking Festival. I've quit college to work full time and save up for my own place. And I know, finally, it's going to be ok. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be ok. :)

#long post #mun is a titan #not destiny #disability #disabled pride

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