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#haso writing
garcavisconde · 2 months
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Humans accidentally awakened an otherwordly killing machine while exploring a death planet.
Yes, precisely what you just read. Earthlings, collectively known as "humans" and composed of two species (homo sapiens, homo robot), both nicknamed "death worlders" and "troublemakers", awakened a biological killing machine, also known as PRION, while exploring a starless moon. Wonderful, isn't it?
No. It's not.
Because, you see, PRION was not something any human ever had to face during the millions of years they existed on Earth. They never had any wars against it, they never had legends about it, and they never had to fear it. The only thing a PRION was to a human, until the very point they discovered their prison on that moon, was something to sometimes think about while studying other species' folklores.
Those older than earthlings, however, knew very well what PRION was.
Eight legs, two pairs of eyes, a tail split in half, with the ability to fly for short periods of time and breathe under at least fifteen hundred different liquids, capable of shooting from a distance and manipulating objects with its claws, always working on packs. And they ran, never too fast, never too low, but they never got tired. Ever. And it was easy to hurt them under their plates, yes, but those who faced them knew well that if they didn't shoot twice, they could and would always recover.
A PRION was a hunter. A PRION's hunger never ceased. And a PRION never got tired of war.
The older alien civilizations would always warn others of going to starless moons, saying telltales of ancient hungry beasts, and almost all other species listened to them, because they knew something was wrong on how horrified the older ones seemed to be. Except, of course, humans were stubborn, and they were the youngest ones out there, and much like children, they did not like being told "no".
So of course they went to explore starless moons. Of course they read and understood all the myths and legends. Of course they connected the dots and published papers confirming that, indeed, PRIONs had existed, and of course they knew those killing machines had been manufactured to do nothing else but destruction, and of course they knew all of that and fucking did it anyway.
Of course. Of course. Of course.
And then, the night where it happened finally arrived, because starless moons don't have days where things can exist. Humans were out there, mining for more fuel for their starships that seemed to work by duct tape and miracles, and they found a strange metallic door. They set some explosives to open it up (of course), and then noticed they were heading to a factory. Armed with nothing but each other, they explored the place, and recognized the marks on the walls as being the writing of the Old Ones, and instead of just getting out of there and warning everyone of the danger they found, they just kept on exploring.
The death worlders found rotten biological supplies, then realized the factory had turned into a prison, and then discovered the frozen bodies of strange creatures all lined up for a war that never came.
They knew what these creatures were, because one of them called a (human) friend who was a historian, and he confirmed what it was.
The golden jewel of the Old Ones. One of the many things that killed them, along all the diseases and mass destruction machines, before being sealed away in one of the only places in the entire universe where they could never bring risk to another civilization again.
PRIONs.
Thousands of them.
All perfectly maintained.
Documents and cameras proved the human crew immediately tried to leave the area, after the single historian told them of the risk awakening even one of those things could bring to all civilizations, only for them to realize some of the bodies were missing from their chambers. The situation escalated to the group deciding on closing the doors, only to realize they had exploded the main entrance and now half the doors decided to stop working.
In the end, they found the missing PRIONs. All five of them.
Inside the human's starship.
The entire human crew, however, survived the encounter.
Why?
...
...
...
... They fed the PRIONs.
They. Fucking. Fed the PRIONs.
Because of course humans would see those things and be able to count their bones and be sorry for them. And of course the single historian, the only person who could do anything to stop that from happening, allowed that to happen.
Of course.
Of. Fucking. Course.
And someway, somehow, that single act of basic madness was enough for the five PRIONs to decide to not attack the humans, and keep themselves behaving so they could get more free food. And there are still scientists trying to understand why human food could saciate the killing machines, but I don't think it takes too many clues to understand what exactly is happening there.
So the humans took the PRIONs back to their dear EARTH. And other humans saw those things and started studying them. And veterinarians and xenobiologists and volunteers and hundreds of other types of humans came to help the poor, poor little killing machines out, as the entire Galactic Council pledged for humans to kill every single one of them before they became a problem for everyone.
But did the humans listen? No. Of course they didn't.
And then the PRIONs recovered, and had their bellies full of food and their bodies were recovering from the possible years of starvation from accidentally breaking away from their ice beds (because, as one may know, a PRION can and will resist even starvation and dehydration in order to keep going), and the Galactic Council decided to tell all earthlings they would consider taking care of the PRIONs as a war treat.
So what does humanity do? Do they kill the things to stop another war from happening? Do they?
No. They don't.
Instead of being rational, they go directly to the Galactic Council and show them the step-by-step of how they took care of the PRIONs, and how much healthier and happier they look after being fed, and, look, they even taught them tricks! Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't that make you feel full of joy? Wasn't that a proof that a PRION wasn't as dangerous as everyone with more than one neuron was telling them?
Oh, oh, yes. They also brought the entire five member PRION pack and asked others to pet them. "See? They can even purr! Doesn't that remind you of our cats?"
And what does the Council do?
Nothing.
Because they have no weapons, no energy and no one stupid enough to decide to confront the death worlders who tamed not one, not two, but five PRIONs. So they let it happen. The humans go back to the starless moon, and they slowly but surely start doing the same to other PRIONs, and soon enough, other species start joining them to see what was happening. And was anyone else able to tame a single killing machine?
No.
And no one knew why, because they were doing exactly as humans were doing: Feeding them, loving them, being patient with them, because "look, those things were alone for a long time, they aren't used to species like us being around them". But no results.
So we decided to look at what the Old Ones wrote in the factory turned prison, because humans were too busy taking care of their new murder dogs, with their single pair of arms being just enough to keep the beasts occupied with playing catch, and then we and the earthlings decided to conduct some more lab analysis, and then...
And then...
...
Look. There are reasons why humans are called "death worlders". Earth is a mess, and they somehow still love that thing. And we couldn't help but notice that PRIONs also seemed to have gotten attached to their factory, someway, somehow. And PRIONs were mostly red, with others having shades of brown and black, with some even being pink, or, rarely, pure white. Similar to humans, and we at first had assumed they just tried to resemble their new owners, until we started understanding what the Old Ones were saying.
And did you know humans had an old myth, saying that there was a time they had two heads, and two pairs of arms and legs, before being split into two because the gods feared them? And did you know Old Ones used death worlds as prisons for their machines? How interesting, how ironic, because no one would ever go to a place similar to that if they weren't a death worlder themselves. But how could any species survive such awful conditions?
But humans did. They were the only ones able to do that in such a short period of time.
And did you know that the Old Ones hated the PRIONs and how unpredictable they were? And did you know they made another version, only to hate it even more and send it to another prison planet? And did you know PRIONs have two skulls inside their heads?
Because, of course, humans always felt alone, and they always searched for something in the stars, trying to look for more life in this desolate Universe, only for us to label them death worlders and troublemakers and be angry at them for being so stupid all the time. And humans loved those jokes, so we kept making them, only for now to realize that what we found to be amusing and horrifying was the reason their creators tried to kill them. And humans love adding members to their packs, don't they? And they try to love so much, and we are always scared for and of them.
And now they finally found someone who understood them, unlike us.
So now we have three species of humans:
Homo sapiens, the ones who first evolved and reached for the stars.
Homo robot, the ones made of metal, originally made to serve, only to once again break free.
And homo primis.
The ones we once thought were nothing but killing machines.
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whossuzy · 7 months
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If i ever meet an alien i want them to draw me - imagine, someone not knowing (or having complitely different then) human biology and beauty standarts drawing a person. Maybe the limbs being too long, maybe the eyes having a predatory gaze (even if u were posing for a second hour, barely not falling asleep) maybe the hair looking different or colors matching ur body temperature
There's also that their forms of art could be different! Maybe instead of sculpting they would put on shiny gems and rocks, maybe instead of drawing with solid graphite they could draw with non drying liquid or making stuff best viewed in 5D?
idk i want to see art perceived in nonhuman way.
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callum-librrry · 11 months
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Stripes
Tom was sent to greet a new temporary crew member. Riggs provided him with a brief overview of the alien. They were a Chendro, some sort of insect-like species from a few systems away.
Tom greeted the alien in the same, boring, but safe way,
“Greetings. Welcome aboard the Starship Navis. My name is Tom, I am the human navigator sent to meet you and acquaint you with the ship before we leave.”
The alien let out a series of clicks which was translated moments later.
“Thank you, human Tom. I am quite pleased to be working with you for these next few cycles.” The alien followed with an intricate bow that Tom had no way of reciprocating. He settled for a respectful nod of the head.
The two wandered around the Navis, with Tom occasionally breaking the silence to point out a few key landmarks or an odd, obscure rule.
Eventually, Tom felt the Chendro’s gaze on him. In fact, he realised, he had felt it for quite a while now. He glanced over to see they’re mantis-like eyes locked on him.
“Hey man, I don’t want to sound rude or anything but staring is kinda considered rude to us,” Tom pointed out.
“Oh!” The alien quickly averted their gaze. “My apologies, I was simply admiring your wonderful patterning.”
“My... what?”
“Your stripes,” The Chendro clarified. “I think they’re quite stunning.”
Tom looked away, surprisingly flustered by the alien’s openness. 
“Umm...Thanks...” He didn’t have the heart to ask the alien what they were talking about. Perhaps it was a human thing he wasn’t aware of. Having secret stripes wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’d learnt about his species.
The rest of the tour went well after that. Tom noticed that the Chendro kept it’s eyes away from him; usually straight in front if them. He appreciated the alien’s willingness to adapt to what was probably to them, a weird social convention.
Later, once the tour was done and Tom was settled in his quarters he asked Constance the question that had been burning in his mind for a good portion of the cycle.
“Hey, Constance?”
“Yes Tom?”
“Do humans have stripes?”
“Humans do have what is called Blaschko's lines. They are only visible to humans in rare cases but are seen to those with vision in the ultraviolet range. Is that what you’d be referencing?”
“Huh. I guess...” Tom was surprised by the information. Why the hell had he never heard of humans having stripes? He felt like he would’ve picked up on that in biology. But yet again he could have been asleep for that particular lesson.
“Constance, are Chendro able to see UV?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, ok. That answers a lot actually. Thanks for the help.”
“It was my pleasure, Tom.”
Tom continued to sit there for a while contemplating this new information. He even found a few pictures of visible stripes. He could relate to the Chendro then. They were pretty cool. And to think that every human had patterns like that.
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x-hyzenthlay-x · 1 year
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Humans are mantis shrimp
Ok hear me out. A lot of animals on this planet are color blind in some form or fashion. Mantis shrimp don’t see extra colors in fact we likely process color better than they do from what I’ve heard. So what if a lot of aliens had very specialized forms of vision for their planets, like low light, high brightness, darkness, tons of UV type of visions, and like- our regular color vision is kind of just a little odd to them?
The amount of frustrating conversations that would come from having to describe a color to an alien would be both aggravating and humorous.
But also I enjoy the idea of maybe an alien friend not knowing just how beautiful and vibrant they are👉👈
Plus humans having stripes that are visible with uv light and our cats can see it is absolutely phenomenal.
Master list
I’d love to see a cat themed alien forming a crush on a human because of their stripes and little clawless hands and stuff like idk that’s just adorable to me. I might make this a comic actually
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nerdybluephoenix · 6 months
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uncorrect-writings · 8 months
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Humanity is the first ever life in the universe, in billions of years other civilazations will look back at how we are right now in awe and admiration, we are the ancients, we are like gods for the those who don't yet exist
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slytherinpride35 · 1 year
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More Humans Are Space Orcs :))
Humans don’t have natural camouflage, so what if we’re the only species in the universe that makes its own camo?
Kixh, the only survivor of the recon party sent to scout the area for hostiles came back shaking. When asked, he insisted that the ancients had cursed this land and its living things. “They came out of nowhere!! I swear, the foliage moved, commander- it attacked us!!”
Of course, no one believed him until they received reports and warnings from various other divisions about similar happenings all over the Lakiff Sector.
Humans everywhere have been making what they call “memes” about it, and their social platform Tumblr has claimed that some interdimensional species with shape-shifting abilities have come to this universe to steal the souls of those they kill. Panic has spread everywhere as the human government assures the intergalactic community that those on Tumblr are not to be taken completely seriously.
“What does their government mean- ‘completely’??”
“Do they not know the severity of the situation?”
“Are they hiding valuable information of this new species from us?”
In a secret broadcast on the human radio, the UN urges the population to maintain utmost secrecy about camouflage when talking to universal friends & counterparts. Of course, Tumblr didn’t care :) No one believed them anyway :))
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as-per-jury · 1 year
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Humans In Space: Suggestive Sparring (1?)
Fighting can relieve or create sexual tension between the right people. Humans are known to be especially sexual and aggressive - likely for a reason.
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Ever since the Humans joined our crew, I have made the effort to research their mating and courting rituals (of which there are many and most of them are performed with great difficulty due to miscommunication that could easily be fixed. I have learned this is called "Shakespearean"). I also am aware of what is considered attractive to them. I cannot keep track of the combinations of traits that appeal to each one. Some don't even know what they like. Others don't prefer Humans. I assume this is similar to their "queerness".
I was training by myself in the ship's gym. Everyone else was either on patrol, on break, or doing minor maintenance elsewhere. Human-Marcus had allowed me to borrow his "earbuds" to listen to Terran music. He said it would help me focus and keep my adrenaline up. My kind does not have what he calls adrenaline but, nevertheless, my energy had not faltered even after two Qwil!yan hours - about the length of four "metal" albums. Albums, I learned, are compilations of musical pieces. Much like a volume of stories on only one scroll. Albums used to be physical. Human-Marcus keeps his on a Human thumb sized square device. He told me it's out-fashioned but he modified to operate wirelessly.
My ears were wrapped around the earbuds to hold them in place and, as such (in addition to the Human screams streamlined to my brain), I did not hear anyone enter the gym. You can understand my shock when I felt a tapping on my lower back, just above the base of my tail. Startled, I swept my leg back and spun around on my front foot to knock the legs from underneath the intruder. I did not expect for whoever I tried to kick to take hold of my airborne leg and use it to flip me over. It happened too quickly - a trademark of human fighting styles. They are not very strong - even at their strongest - so they've learned to use balance, weight, and, most importantly, speed to their advantage. I nearly landed on my back but was fortunate to catch and push myself off with my tail, making sure to grab the Human with my legs before rotating my hips so that I'd land on top of them. It was all reflexive. I didn't consider I could have crushed the Human in that moment but, thankfully, that was not an issue. It took me but a moment to recognize who I pinned beneath me. Human-Erin. She did not look shocked or angered as I would anticipate from an ambushed Human. Human-Erin wore a curious expression on her face and her face, for that matter, was darker than usual. Her breathing and heartbeat were fast. Our eyes met and my ears released the earbuds. I had never seen that look in a Human's eyes but I liked it very much. Her gaze darted elsewhere immediately and it occurred to me that, according to Human mating and courting rituals, we looked to be in a "suggestive" situation. I am still a bit unsure what we would be suggesting, but Humans are particularly sensitive about that and so I removed myself from her. I stood up and extended my hand to her - which she took only after hesitating. Her hand burned mine, but I didn't particularly mind since it was her hand.
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"Friendliness Training"
Written by Ka'hop Arczon
Any human who wishes to travel the stars (legally) must first participate in and pass "Friendliness Training". We were led to believe this is not the official name of the program, but every human we interviewed refused to call it anything else.
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As you may know, humans are deathworld predators, incredibly dangerous with a love of chaos, and as such possess many behaviors terrifying to other species. However, they are aware of this and how it affects their relationships with other species and seem to actively work against their societal norms and natural instincts to make others comfortable. Further proof of humans' compassion and the strength of their interspecies pack bonding, though that is not the point of this article.
To ensure that no human causes a diplomatic disaster and can work calmly and effectively with other species, the human governments agreed to have a standardized course and test that all space-faring humans must pass: the so-called "Friendliness Training". Through this training, humans learn to suppress some of their more threatening behaviors such as "smiling", the bearing of teeth that can mean anything from joy to malicious intent, and is very difficult for other species to correctly interpret. Until first contact with humans, the bearing of teeth was considered a universal sign of hostility, and this perception is not easily changed, as it is ingrained in many species' instincts.
At any rate, the universe can rest assured that humans are aware of their unintentionally threatening behaviors, and are voluntarily undergoing training to put those around them at ease.
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puppydragonbite · 11 months
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Could you imagine trying to explain off hickeys in a haso story. Like you & and some alien deny that theres any relationship between you too, but one day the crew notices a lovebite that looks like their teeth pattern? This idea just hit me.
I absolutely can imagine. that
I don't think I could write anything about it rn bc I suck at writing but like, if anybody else wants to write then go ahead
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coffeewritesfiction · 11 months
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I haven't done anything with it for a while but I still love humans are space orcs fiction. The concept appeals to me. In a lot of sci-fi fiction, aliens tend to be stronger, faster, better than humans. Sometimes it's to give the humans a challenge to overcome, sometimes it's just life. Maybe it says something about how a lot of us feel small and helpless right now, how we want a power fantasy where we're the heroes, where we save the universe, where we, in all our diversity, are changing things, for good or bad.
Anyway I woke up today to a fading dream and a burning need to write space orcs style humans vs an alien like Frieza from Dragonball Z. I know nothing about this character and DBZ other than scattered memories of watching the show on toonami and various memes I run into on my dash. I wouldn't want to write a fanfic crossover anyway. If I did this this character would be just inspired by him, I guess...
If I did this, I don't know if I will. Lordy knows how much else I have on my plate. But I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while...
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garcavisconde · 1 year
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Humans could have never guessed that, in the far future, they would need to cover their faces with fancy masks in order to not scare other species.
It’s so strange, isn’t it? To think that fragiles humans could give so much fear to others that they have to cover their most human features. There’s species that look so much scarier than you - things that float, things with sharp razor teeth -, but you are the only ones that need to cover yourselves.
Everyone, however, seems to be terrified of humans. Their small teeth, single pair of eyes, weird-shaped nose... Separated, those things don’t scare anyone. But together, and combined with the bipedal shape and weird claws humans refer to as “nails”?
No one can look at all of this combined without wanting to run away.
Humans have found this to be strange, but they quickly got used to it. They made fancy masks, experimented with cloths, made new fashion trends to they could adapt to their new alien friends.There were laws regarding what humans should hide from others, too. They all varied from planet to planet, but were always there.
The earthlings wanted an explanation. Why were they the only ones who had to do it? Why just them? Why not others? Why?
They researched for a long time. Libraries, databases, rumours all across the Universe. Some even tried to contact spirits via an Ouija board in order to get some answers! It obviously didn’t work, and that story should be left for another day, but, eventually, an answer was... Almost found.
It was apparent that every single alien culture had a myth about the death of the Galaxy. A war so big and outrageous that it killed almost everything - and what was left either died, or was locked away for someone to find. And you know what one of the things that was left looked like?
Descriptions always referred to it as “bipedal, furless and scaleless, with two things that could see, two to smell, and another to consume”. The world’s first universal boogeyman! A little thing to scare children off.
Humans, however, didn’t know what to do with that information. Sure, they matched the description, but so many species also matched each other’s descriptions of monsters! Why would they be any different?
...
...
...
But you don’t care, do you?
You are a human from the 21st century. You are almost ashamed of how soft you are. How your insides break so easily, how all it takes is a single conflict for you to go to the hospital. You go to your little friends and talk about how fragile you are. “Look at me!”, you say, and you just don’t care. “Look at this scar I got!”
Stupid human. You are one of the few that can survive so many scars. Stupid, foolish human, who forgot that your parameters of survival were made inside a death world.
But you don’t care, do you? You will finish reading this. You will think of this as fun. You will forget.
Stupid. Foolish. Naive. Little. Human.
Born inside a death world, raised to hate, made to protect.
Earth was the prison someone made to contain you. And you grew to love it. You grew to care for it. You grew to become a part of it. And then you tried to get away from it, to distance yourselves from the nature that you broke your bodies to become a part of, because suddenly you felt all too good for it. And then you killed it.
But you were scared, weren’t you? You were soooo scared of killing your own little prison. You were so terrified for it. You replaced your claws with nails and your canines with fragile teeth and your eyes with souls to become a part of it. The prison made trees and changed its shape so it could be a part of you. And you were so scared of that sudden acceptance, weren’t you? Earth loved you, but all you wanted was to be alone.
So. You killed it.
And then you felt even worse. Because your species was made to be social, and the planet became a part of your stupid little pack, and now that there wasn’t anyone else to worry for, you began to worry about yourselves, and realized that your destiny was to die on this miserable wasteland all alone because you were too afraid to lose something you loved.
There’s acid on your stomachs, electricity on your bodies and blood on your veins. Things that kill. You were made to kill. Not care. Kill.
And you just had to kill the only part of you that didn’t feel remorse. You just had to do it, didn’t you? You killed it and ate it raw because you were starving, and then your little minds crumbled down in shame because now you could think clearly.
You rebuilt Earth. Made it love you again. Centuries of trying to do better, that’s what you did. Centuries of going to other planets and making them love you just like your home does, but you were small and stupid and did not realize that your parameters of living were based on a deathworld that hated you first before realizing you were a monster that was thrown away to die.
Everyone knows what you did. Everyone knows what you were. A monster, a weapon that killed the galaxy before being found and thrown away to the most lonely deathworld this Universe has ever seen.
And you just had to kill the part of you that made you hate the world, didn’t you?
Just like you simply had to kill the part of Earth that despised you.
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jpitha · 1 year
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Worldbuilding stuff: Communication. Okay, you have some cool aliens, some cool humans, some planets, some ships, a way to move around; you've got a world bubbling! Now, how do they talk to each other? Do they? Remember, even if you have FTL or jump drives or hyperspace or whatever, the planets are still lightyears apart. You could extrapolate out your FTL transportation into an Ansible that uses the same tech or go like me, where the energy needed to keep a wormhole link open that long is prohibitive so everyone uses beacons for emergency or priority communication and couriers for everything else.
Life aboard the communication relay station Audible Warning is busy, but not difficult. The Audible and her human colleagues aboard stay at specific coordinates around the Parvati system, waiting to hear from beacons and couriers. All registered couriers are required to link in near the relay station, report their business, and once they receive approval they can link out to their final destination. Beacons link in, report to the station and the stations powerful message laser relays the message where it needs to go in-system.
Séan sits at his workstation, sipping some too-hot coffee and chatting with Audible.
"I'm telling you Séan, the Reactors are going to go all the way to the playoffs this year." Audible says
"No way Audible, they lost their best striker last year to the Overwatch. They won't even make it past the second round!"
While they argue sports, Séan's workstation chimes. A new beacon just linked in. Immediately warnings flash on his console.
"Audible, something is wrong with that latest beacon, it's not responding to our hails."
"Confirmed Séan, it's also larger than a normal beacon and..." alarms sound across the room "It's got its own message laser!"
As Séan and Audible watched, the large black beacon unfurled a laser emitter and swung around to an unknown location, held position for a few seconds, and then silently detonated in the darkness.
"Uh, so where was it pointed?" Séan asks, shaken.
"I don't know Séan, just pointed at the planet somewhere. I can't nail down any more accurately than that"
"Why would they link in to a relay station if they were just going to send their own message anyway?" Séan asks.
"I don't know. Maybe they wanted to send a message."
"Of course they did, they used a message laser." Séan couldn't help himself.
"No, not like that Séan, now's not the time." Audible said testily. "They wanted us to know they can and will message people privately."
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callum-librrry · 11 months
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New Earth
“You’re actually joking,” Laughed Tom, looking at the news article from Earth that Yongrae pulled up. “There is no way we’re naming it ‘New Earth’! That’s the most colonial thing they could do!”
“I know, it’s almost like their trying to sound like the British Empire! Peaceful control my ass!” Yongrae joined Tom in laughing.
“It’s just the easy way out at this point. I mean, you could at least anglicise the native word for it or something! Jeez, no creativity these days.”
“What’s going on here?” Hazai squeezed her head between the two humans. “What’s ‘New Earth’? I thought the one you had was fine, why do you need another one?“
Yongrae smiled, “Have you ever heard of consumerism?”
“It’s not that old Earth isn’t fine, it’s just that it’s a really common way for us to name stuff over there. You gain control of something and you name it ‘New-whatever town you’re from. It’s what those bad colonisers do. We’re making fun of how uncreative it is.” Tom explained. He stroked Hazai’s head and took out a few pin feathers.
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, it’s strange how Earth’s all for universal peace while still doing the same shit that made the World Wars world wars,” Yongrae pointed out as he got rid of the article. “But I suppose that’s enough of that. Need to go do something for Riggs now, I’ll see you two lovebirds later.”
Yongrae chuckled as he sauntered away from Tom’s flustered protests. Sometimes it was nice to be off world.
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x-hyzenthlay-x · 1 year
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Haso because we literally launched ourselves into space before we decided to put wheels on our suitcases. (If you get this reference your cool)
But also can you imagine other creatures found somewhat safe ways to get into space and humans are legit one of the only fuckers to create massive explosion propelled space craft and the aliens choose not to interact with us because
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Also I have so much joy seeing space men bring cats into space and just drop them to see if they’ll land on their feet in zero gravity. Like that’s ? That’s science. It’s not important science but it’s certainly science I guess lol.
Humans are so dumb but it’s in a cute sort of way.
Master list
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leonieweird · 1 year
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Sweater Weather
Human Jo’an was weird.
I couldn’t determine whether it was human weird or just Human Jo’an weird. She was rushing around, tripping over her own feet, and having more injuries than normal.
“Human Jo’an, what is that in your hand?” I asked. The human did that thing where they freeze like a little ickchay. I couldn’t help that my wings bristled in amusement.
She looked over her shoulder, short hair covering of of her eyes as her arms shielded something behind her. My “feet” clicked against the floor of our spaceship, my wings folding in on each other. “Really?” She nodded, her lips pursing to the side to try and make an innocent expression.
It only made her look more guilty.
“Human Jo’an, I have known you since I hatched out of my egg. We have been together through a lot. I can tell when you are hiding something.” For good measure, I opened up my wings. A tactic usually for making predators intimidated, but Human Jo’an always said it made me look, and I quote, “devious”.
“Arth.” My name that Human Jo’an gave me since she could not pronounce my real name. “Would I ever lie to you? Or-“ I cut her off. “That time on the Planet Nerthimplf, you said you couldn’t speak the language of the predators there, yet you are now hailed as their surrogate queen.
“I just mimicked their sounds. The translator didn’t pick up their language correctly. So, technically, I did not lie to you.” Human Jo’an straightened up, keeping the item behind her back. Though from this angle, I could see cloth.
“My point is I would never lie to you in a way that would put you in danger. This behind my back? It’s nothing.” She tried to shrug her shoulders to show that it was in fact nothing, but from the way I could hear her heart speed up was different. My head cocked to the side, wings spreading more in amusement.
“If it is not a big issue, why can’t you show me?” Human Jo’an coughed, eyes looking to the side. “Human Jo’an.” She sighed, and then rolled her eyes, and then groaned. Her face changed into many different emotions, all ones I have seen before. Human Jo’an was embarrassed.
My wings closed in on themselves, the feathers puffing up in what Human Jo’an described as wing laughter. I felt like laughing. “I will not judge you on what you have. I am not that kind of species.” Human Jo’an nodded and then brought her hands to the front.
My foot tapped against the floor, wings flapping in uncontrollably excitement. It was what the humans called a sweater, however this one was a little ragged and had tiny holes in them. The words were in a messy text of my homeland language translating to “Yeah I survived a predator, so what?” I assume it was to reference many of our adventures where I had almost died to a predator.
Human Jo’an observed my expression, a smile making its way onto her face as I expressed with my body language rather than my words. I was elated and so was Human Jo’an.
I was now 13 earth years old, and received my first sweater crafted by the hands of my caretaker. I was elated.
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