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#haruchiyo angst
nejibaby · 1 year
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between animosity and blurred lines
Pairing: Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader
Word count: 1.4k
Description: enemies with benefits ft. sanzu
mentions of jealousy and sex (but nothing too explicit)
this is somewhat related to friends although you don’t really have to read it in order to understand this 😉
minors dni!
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Your best friend fell for Sanzu Haruchiyo first, but he fell harder.
And it was a great trope, really. It’s one that you would have loved to witness as an onlooker. Except that Haruchiyo fell too late and when he did, your best friend had moved on and he watched as she found somebody else.
That, and the fact that you too had fallen for Haruchiyo.
If everything was up to you, you wouldn’t have wanted any of this to happen. But you’re no god, and you have no power over love or fate or tragedy, or whatever this was called.
It was a funny little thing in the beginning, meeting your best friend, that is.
What brought you two together was the fact that you looked so identical, people would mistake you as siblings. Sometimes you’d prank people telling them you’re twins and nobody would even question it. And because of these lighthearted jokes, eventually you got used to being addressed with her surname.
Becoming her best friend, you came to learn that she had been in love with her childhood friend, Haruchiyo, when you met her. You’ve heard tales over tales about the man, and thought “Ah, he seems to be a nice man.”
However, in hindsight you realize that to a person in love, their love interest would always, always seem to be a good person. So when you finally do meet the Sanzu Haruchiyo your best friend had always been gushing about, you’re flabbergasted.
Your initial impression of him is that he’s the embodiment of trouble. And for that, you came to dislike him.
He returns the sentiments of course. Although to be fair, it does seem like he detests almost everyone.
In due time, however, you noticed he grew more and more irritated with you. It probably had something to do with being — in his words — such a know-it-all.
“You’re such a fucking loser,” you mumble as you pass a shot to his lonesome.
“What’s your problem with me now?”
“Just confess to her and get it over with.”
He chokes on nothing once he hears your response. He slams his hands on the table saying, “Are you drunk? What are you fucking talking about?!”
You roll your eyes at him and motion for him to settle down. “You like her, just admit it.”
“I do not—”
“Friends don’t look at friends that way,” you cut him off.
Instead of coming up to refute you, he glares at you and walks away.
Or perhaps his annoyance with you is caused by his disgust with your hypocrisy and nosiness.
You’re just about to light your third cigarette when it’s suddenly being plucked from your hand and into Haruchiyo’s mouth. Frankly, you’re mildly surprised as you have never seen him smoke before. “That’s going to kill you, dumbass.”
He raises his brow. “You’re one to talk.”
“I have my reasons.”
“Well, I do too,” he says quickly.
And even if he didn’t admit just that, it’s quite obvious from the fire in his eyes.
“And what would that be?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Yeah, but that’s my cigarette you stole, so you owe me.”
“Why do you care?” He snaps.
“I don’t,” you say without missing a beat. “But she does, so you better get your act together.”
He falters when you mention her but that doesn’t stop him from smoking your damn cigarette.
There’s probably a hundred other reasons he could have hated you for — for calling him stupid for using soap on his hair, for not sanitizing your hands enough, for not using the coaster he’s laid out despite him reminding you every damn time — some are intentional, and some are honest mistakes.
The bottomline is he hates your guts just as much as you hate his.
But you’re not blind, so despite the bad blood with him, you have to acknowledge that he’s good looking. Extremely so. He’s got a charm and he knows it.
And perhaps it had been because of this charm that you somehow found a way into his bed, screaming his name at the top of your lungs as he shaped your body to his.
It’s supposed to be a one time thing, but like bad habits, messing around with him becomes hard to break. It’s nearly impossible to resist the way he kisses your neck, the way he gropes your ass, the way he kneads your tits. the way he eats you out, and most especially the way he fucks you until all you could think of is him and him alone.
He becomes a bit nicer to you too, but not because of this arrangement you have going on nor because he’s starting to like you. Rather, it’s because you’ve snitched on him once about his gang activities and he’s gotten into a big fight with your best friend over it.
Sure, because of that stunt, you had seen him in his angriest form, but due to that, he realized he shouldn’t mess with you, all in favor of saving their friendship.
So instead of directing his anger on you, (1) he becomes consciously nicer to you, (2) he uses his pent up anger to fuck you until you’re an overstimulated, sobbing mess, and (3) he tries hunts down your link to the delinquent world. Keyword: tries, because his efforts are in vain. You’re just simply too good at keeping your connections private, which is probably why you’ve been able to keep this physical arrangement with Haruchiyo last so long without getting caught.
However now, the morning after yet another escapade with him, it was quite obvious he wants to kick you out.
He isn’t subtle with the way he keeps checking his watch and glancing at the door. His fingers are constantly tapping against the countertop where you’re seated, eating the sandwich he made for you. It’s to appease you really. You get grumpy leaving with an empty stomach in the morning. And if he wants to evict you now, he has to get into your good graces first. But if you’re being quite honest, it doesn’t really do shit when he’s being so restless.
“Sanzu, I swear to all the gods out there, I’ll break your bones if you don’t stop drumming your fingers,” you threaten.
But he pays no heed to your words.
You sigh. “Fine, I’ll be out of your hair once I’m finished with this sandwich.”
This snaps his attention back to you. And you swear you can see the words “Thank you, Kami-sama” from his eyes.
“Would you mind if I borrowed this shirt in the meantime though? I really don’t want to change back into my dress. That’d take too much time.”
A white lie.
You’re not sure why these words slipped out of your mouth, let alone came into your mind. This was out of character and out of routine. And even though you’ve both crossed a lot of lines, this —borrowing shirts, or anything for that matter— wasn’t one of them.
Even Haruchiyo knows this, which is why he raises a brow in curiosity. He’s just about to ask you why when his phone alerts him of a new message.
Perhaps it had been the way he immediately snapped his attention to it that had you peeking at his phone. And then you see it. Her name. And of fucking course, the message had to come from her in order for him to react that way.
And now you feel your throat constricting and your nails digging into your palm. You’re upset. And you know you shouldn’t be, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are.
“You know what? I changed my mind. I’ll take the back door and leave now.”
But he isn’t paying attention anymore. Apparently he has better things to do, like respond to her message.
When you’ve closed the door to his apartment, you let yourself frown. You drag your feet away from him and let your shoulders sag.
Somehow between the animosity and blurred lines, you have fallen for Sanzu Haruchiyo.
And you hate yourself for it.
For misunderstanding his touches.
For being hungry for his heartache.
For not stopping the rhythm of wanting.
For letting him pull you in, over and over.
But some days, it’s just hard to resist when he does things that make you question his feelings for you. Like taking you away from Haitani Ran’s arms when you’ve gotten too close. Like making you coffee in the mornings after. Like letting you sleep on his side of the bed.
But then again, it’s your fault for ignoring the days when he moans her name instead of yours while he fucks you, and when he mumbles her name in his sleep as his arms wrap around you.
You know you shouldn’t settle for this. But what’s another name added to the list of people who call you by your best friend’s name anyway?
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song reference/inspiration: blackberries by emily blue
Ran’s POV
a/n: hello my dear friend, angst 😙 i miss writing so bad skskksdj
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white-poppie · 2 years
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The loyal dog and his toy
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Sanzu Haruchiyo who does immoral things and flashes you a little insane grin and makes you question your decisions.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who ignores and lashes at you when he is intoxicated, and he is rarely ever not intoxicated.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who keeps a gun on your temple and plays Russian Roulette with you as a joke, he loves to see you plead to lower the gun.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who feels like ecstasy on your lips, you are light-headed and euphoric.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who is Sano Manjiro's little pet. He agrees to anything Mikey says. He would die for Mikey and most definitely not hesitate to kill for him.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who has your body supported with one hand, as you are standing on the railing of the highest building in Shibuya. He says, "if we fall, let's fall together." You know there is no way he would fall with you; you would be the one plummeting to your death, but at least you would be held by him in your last moments.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who has you laid on wads on money. He snorts cocaine from a neat line that ran on your spine.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who is a hidden sadist. He spews backhand comments at you only to see you cry. He then pulls you in his embrace and coos about how he is sorry. He is not, he thinks you look the prettiest when you cry.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who will overdose himself and make you worry about him to death, he just smiles and tells you, "you are crazy to love me."
Sanzu Haruchiyo who will hand you a gun and support your arms as you aim at a fear-struck traitor, Sanzu says that he is a traitor so he is a traitor.
Sanzu Haruchiyo who is your biggest mistake, your beginning, your end; your ruination and preservation.
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·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Taglist: @denkis111, @jazzylove, @kristaline2dmensimp, @lordmypantsaresocool, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle, @rintaroubby, @nanaseishiro, @maybeleftoverjourneys ​, @idowritingandstufff ​, @astrofaifai ​,
The first gif is by @dntvee
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sapphicshav · 1 year
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── 4:53AM | sanzu haruchiyo.
genre . . . hurt/comfort
warnings . . . drug mention, swearing
note . . . an old drabble that was collecting dust in my tumblr drafts🕺🏾
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"haru please put them down". it's saturday night and your boyfriend, bonten's number two, sanzu haruchiyo is one another rampage yet again. sanzu is a complex person. you can never guess what dangerous thoughts his corrupted mind could form. on most days he was manageable, you could tolerate his questionable yet unruly behaviour. his late returns and his drug misuse bothered you but, you couldn't help but adore him.
"you're so fucking annoying y/n", he slurs his words, stumbling towards you in a drunken manner. as mentioned, you've succumbed to his unusual behaviour but, sometimes his words were like a bullet to the heart. hand clutching at your chest, tears began to rise above your waterline. you knew deep down that he didn't mean what he said, he never does when he's in this state.
"y/n baby... look at me please", he limps towards you, touches your shoulder and turns your body so that you face him. your eyes meet, his are heavy, delayed blinking but you can see the sincerity behind them. he leans in closer, the smell of alcohol that has attached itself to his clothes makes your stomach turn, "i-i'm sorry baby i'm such a fuck up, didn't mean to make you cry".
before you could respond he immediately pulls you into a hug, your head presses agsisnt his warm chest. you can hear his heartbeat, it's slow but steady like the breaths he's taking. pushing back a hair that's fallen in front his face you reply, "your not a fuck up haru" you tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "i love you"
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thank you for reading, rbs are appreciated ♡
taglist: @avid-idiot @urluvvdomm @httpghostface @and0mi @reeluvs
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wuanshii · 2 years
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"Oh, he wished" | 1
Part two : oh, he wished
Highlights; Neglecting you was his greatest mistake. And he realized that only after he lost you. But you weren't really gone, now were you?
( sanzu x f!reader )
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It was just a letter, a letter with all the words that you couldn't say out loud. It was a request, a wish or yours.
"I don't got no time for the valentines, and you know that shit. Ah, letters....what is this, 16th century!?" instead, he yelled.
He did not appreciate the effort of which you thought was sweet.
"You don't have to yell y'know, I wrote that letter cause I was scared to verbally say it... yet you're still yelling..."
"Because what you're asking for is so unnecessary! I come home tired, frustrated a lot and you asking for this sort of thing isn't making my headache any good dammit!"
ㅤㅤ
At some point, you doubted whether if he has been doing drugs. Because every day, the reaction he presents to you is different. And it's sad, it hurts.
You could barely see him smiling. Not saying he don't, but the combination of a smile and a frown. That isn't 'happiness'. He stays mad for no reason, and you are too weak to do anything against that.
Because he may be verbally violent, but thanks to the lord he isn't physically abusive.
'All I wanted was to...spend some sweet time together,' you faced the floor with regrets flashed over your face.
Sanzu's POV,
I don't think I love her. Not anymore.
Ever since my friend introduced these heavenly substances to me, on lord everything feels so pleasing,
except for her.
Every time she opens her mouth, it's so damn annoying. It gets so damn frustrating as well.
"Haru, dinner." I turned to her at the door.
Was she crying? Well I can see that. But...I can't seem to care. Something about her, this whole house feels so different. It feels like none of it are mine. None of this belongs to me,
my wife, my cat, my house...
I won't blame the pills, no I won't. Cause it's not the cause of this, they are.
Walking to the dining room, I faced her. She was busy with the dishes so I simply sat on my seat and prayed before getting into my plate.
Man, I wish she never existed.
Like, if she never did, I wouldn't have had to marry her.
I wouldn't have met her.
I wouldn't be regretting shit at the moment.
I would've been a free man living on my own with no lousy woman near me,
2 years of marriage and now, everything feels wrong. Never imagined I'd feel so empty, despite marrying the one I thought was 'the love of my life'.
Shit, I need some pills. My head's aching.
________
Little did the guy know, his thoughts were loud. That's what drugs did to him, he's in a situation where he thinks that he's silently thinking it all,
But. He was mumbling it.
And you heard.
His wish.
"You done?"
"Yeah." nothing more, by grabbing his plate, you took it away as he yawned and made his way towards the bathroom.
"Goodnight, Haru." you wished in the dark, before completely falling asleep.
"Mmm." was all he replied.
8:03 AM
Sanzu's pov.
Shit, I woke up late! Fuck me!
Where's Y/n? Damn, she knows I should be leaving at 7:30, where is she!?
Immediately, I hurried to grab my suit, and comb myself to look fresh for the least. Yeah, I'll just call my boss and relay him a lie for my late arrival.
"Y/n!"
Where the fuck is she!?
Wait. Why does the house looks so... so different...
So warm.
Nah, where the fuck is my wife at. I kept looking for her, called her cell, called her name out as well but for the sake of lord, where is she?
Taking the cell out of my phone, I went to dial her brother. Her only family, and my only brother-in-law.
Well I did yell at her the previous night, and today's Valentine as well. Maybe she's mad or something. But I'll convince her, she'll oblige.
"Yo, B/n. How have you been?"
"....erm, good?"
"I see I see. Have you heard from
Y/n? Like, she's been missing since the morning,"
"I'm sorry, but do I know you?"
Huh?? The heck is he saying...
"B/n, haha...it's me! Sanzu. Did you not save my number or something?"
"I'm pretty sure...I don't know anybody named Sanzu in my life. Neither do I know who this Y/n is,"
"Hey...hey don't joke with me, c'mon..."
"I'm sorry but...I really don't know you, Mr. Sanzu."
With a string on confusion, I cut the call with him. What did he just say?
Are they pranking me? Like, is she that mad? Fuck?
But...
Where are the pictures of us? In the photo album?
Where are her clothes?
Where are her jewelleries??
Where is she?
___________
And that morning, his wish came true. Nothing more, nothing less.
That was the horror that stalked him, fulfilling his wish so fresh.
And now, the person name Y/n L/n he knows is gone. Who is she? Did he ever meet somebody named Y/n before?
"Ah, my head hurts.... wait, Y/n?" his memories too are now fading away, little by little.
"Why am I looking for Y/n? Wh-....man I need to leave!"
on the way, all the memories that pictured you in his mind faded. He will never know who she is, he will never remember who she is.
"Who is Y/n?"
Entering his house with a frown in the evening after a long ass day, he went straight to his bedroom where the sheets weren't managed properly.
He had left in a hurry, of course he did not manage any of it.
And while managing the sheet, a shiny thing buried below the sheets caught his eyes.
Grabbing it in his palm, it was a ring.
Your wedding ring.
Which got his heart to skip a beat, making his eyes widen at the object in his trembling hand as a sweet memory that almost faded forever appeared clear on his mind,
'Do you take Y/n as your lawfully wedded wife?'
'Yes, I do.' and he replied, with a smile so bright.
that day, he was so happy.
'How can I forget that?'
Tears pricked through his eyes, after finally realizing the situation he is in. Nobody knows you, even he almost forgot you.
But the ring he held in his hand reminded him of the one he was 3% away from completely erasing off of his mind like every other folk that knew you.
" Y/n is....my wife,"
But, now...
The only place she ever exists is in his memory, and none other.
And whatever he wished for, became true.
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k9wa · 2 years
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༊*·˚ APRIL TO DEATH. featuring haruchiyo sanzu.
∴ SYNOPSIS : the ever descending experience of loving a man who'd truly gone mad.
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∴ CONTENT : bonten sanzu, toxic relationships, heavy drug use, implied dv, smoking, suggestive content, wc 722.
∴ NOTE : mildly inspired by the song april to death by flower face.
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༄ I. loving sanzu haruchiyo is easy.
how could it be anything but? waking up to the sight of his pretty face each morning, watching as his eyelashes flutter open, admiring the way his scars wrinkle when he smiles at you, with his cheeks still puffy from his slumber. 
loving sanzu was easy because of the way he always had a protective arm around you, or casually stroked your thigh while your legs were swung over his lap, it made you giddy, as if you were two teenagers in love. how could you not adore someone who made it feel like you were walking on a cloud? 
despite the natural teasing demeanour of his that you had learned to find comfort in, he never raised his voice at you, or made you feel less than, and you never doubted that he cared. sanzu made loving him so, so easy, so you did exactly that, 
and loved him with all your heart.
༄ II. loving sanzu haruchiyo is fun.
sanzu knew how to party.
he knew which buttons to push, and which knobs to turn to make you feel a mind numbing heat throughout every inch of your body. 
he knew how much you loved it when he would pop a tab of codeine into his mouth, just to pull you flush against his body and kiss you with a dizzying passion, slipping the pill under your tongue as your lips crashed in perfect synchronisation, and you happily swallowed every time.
he knew the way your heart would race when he lit his cigarette against the tip of your own, the rush that, between the head buzz of nicotine mixed with the intensity of his heavy gaze, would make you shiver beneath him. 
he knew you found it more addicting than any drug.
༄ III. loving sanzu haruchiyo is complicated.
sometimes, he went a little off the rails, but you never held it against him. you knew what he was capable of from the start, both in mentality and physicality, it's unfair of you to opt out now, he never tried to hide who he was.
that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt a little bit when he would shout, or that it didn’t scare you a little bit when he would lose his temper.
it was never directed at you, you were just there, you were the one he returned home to after a day of bullshit. you wanted to be the one he returned home to, the one who listened to his problems and comforted him through them, because you loved him. love isn’t always easy, right? just because things weren’t always sailing smoothly, doesn’t mean they were bad, sometimes things can just become…complicated.
༄ IV. loving sanzu haruchiyo is tiring.
you aren’t sure when the switch happened, when being an outlet for sanzu to release his anger onto, became you being something he was suddenly angry at directly.
you could handle the shouting, the subtle threats, you could handle when he would accidentally grab your jaw just a bit too hard. what wore you out was how he would swear to never do it again, every single time. 
how he would sober up, and lay his head on your thighs, whispering about how you were the best thing to ever happen to him, how much he wants to do better for you, how sorry he was for the way he treated you.
without fail, you forgave him the second his lips were tenderly back against your own, only for the instance to be repeated hardly a week later. 
you loved haruchiyo, probably more than anything, but he was grinding you down, little by little.
༄ V. loving sanzu haruchiyo is painful.
you could feel a breeze of air on your shoulder every time sanzu exhaled a calm breath, holding you soundly against his chest as he gently snored behind you. 
you couldn’t sleep.
maybe it was just the lone silence, or the moonlight spilling in through the window, maybe it was the moment of sobriety where your head was clear, but one little question, one you had never stopped to ask yourself, ran through your head like a mantra:
when had you lost yourself for him?
you weren’t sure what the word love even meant anymore, he had skewed your perspective of it so drastically. 
as you felt your loves arms around you, the warmth of his body against yours just as comforting as the day you first felt it, you’re finally taking the time to question:
is this really love?
yet despite no longer being sure of that answer, nor no longer believing you were exempt from his madness, you still loved him.
perhaps, you always would. even if it killed you.
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luka-ali · 2 years
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My Soul Haruchiyo Sanzu X reader (Angst)
Words: 1.1k
The concept of death never really mattered to Sanzu Haruchiyo. For the mad dog of Bonten, killing was the same as breathing. Yet, why? why was he shivering? In his line of work, weaknesses are to be discarded. But why did he feel like the world has come to a stop when Mikey ordered him to get rid of you. The love of his life who he knew he never truly deserved. 
Memories of innocence invaded his mind. Every chapter of his life she was there, as his savior, his lover, his queen. Times where she cupped his face in her palms and told him how deep her love flows for him. How he deserved love. She accepted the broken him with no qualms. Always giving him the world. 
Never in a million years had he thought he had to choose between his King or his Muse. Mikey never had a problem with her before but why now? Did Sanzu show vulnerability? Did he portray weakness? Was he not ruthless enough in the eyes of his subordinates? Why did Mikey come to the conclusion that the death of his love will be the answer?
He had to choose. Bonten was his kingdom and his king's word is the law. 
His way back to his safe space didn't feel safe anymore. He felt cold after a long time. He told himself, that it was simply his intoxication or the weather. His hands made their way to the doorknob, wondering how he can make this easy for the both of them. He bit his bottom lip hard hoping that this was just a bad dream. 
She stood there her back facing Sanzu as she was cooking. With the smell of it, it was his favorite. She heard footsteps get closer to her, she smiled softly inside knowing that her lover is right behind her and in a few seconds will wrap his hands around her waist and bury his face in her neck grinning like the lovesick fool he is. 
 "Haru," She called as she turned her head only to meet with her lover with his sadistic smile and a gun pointing straight at her. 
Sanzu watched her eyes widen for a brief second before they went back to their original position. With no fear in her eyes. She softly smiled as she looked at him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. She knew him like the back of her hand. That sadistic smile he wore was nothing but a facade. Sanzu could feel his resolve crumbling. He had to do something quickly before the ache in his heart turns unbearable. 
"Let's go to the roof," She said as she made her way toward the stairs and Sanzu followed right behind her. Sanzu felt his legs go heavy, every step he took felt painful. No amount of drugs will help numb his pain. The devil lurking on his shoulder telling him to get rid of her right this moment. A mere minute felt like a century when they met with the stars. She twirled around gently to meet with his eyes, still smiling.
"Hold me Haru," She said as she made her way right in front of him. Sanzu didn't even waste a breath as he wrapped his hands around her, his gun long discarded and laying on the ground. He never held her this tight almost suffocating but she didn't mind. Tears threatened to fall from his lash line as she caress his hair and held him as if he was made of glass. She gently pulled away from him and placed a hand on his cheek. 
"Don't look at me like that!" He yelled painfully, gripping her blouse tight. She moved her lips towards his scar and placed a small kiss on it. Sanzu felt his knees go weak as he unintentionally let go of her. 
 "Let's run away," He ought to say. He wanted to say but... 'Do you really think Mikey will let you get away with it?' The voice in him said. He feared Mikey more than anything in the world. He knew what he was capable of. He was Mikey's slave and Mikey was his king. Betrayal was a lost concept for someone who only knew loyalty.
Why couldn't he choose you?
"Haruchiyo, "She called as he broke free from his thoughts. He found her in a circumstance he knew he never wanted. She stood there on the railing of the roof just a light push will end in death. His eyes were going blurry with the number of tears clouding his vision, yet he never blinked his eyes. 
 "Haruchiyo, I told you whatever your decision is I'll stand by you. Please don't blame yourself, this is something I decided on my own" She said as he paused hoping that he would meet her eyes. She wanted to burn his face in her memory so she can take it to the other world. 
"Compared to your pain mine will be over in an instant." She said as she looked him in the eye internally cursing Mikey for giving her love so much pain.
"Please remember, I love you. In this life in our next life, I will find you. I forever belong to you," She said. her soothing words always gave him courage. His breath hitched as he hoped that he could run to her and simply hope that this was just a nightmare. 
"Don't cry. I'm not going to die. As long as you think of me I'll always be alive inside of you. My soul is always watching over you." She said. She had always been the one to hold both of them, she was the stronger one of the both of them. Even her parting words gave him the strength to move on. 
"Smile Haruchiyo," She said as he did so. That was the least he could do for her. As much as it hurt, she knew this was the end as she leaned back losing her footing and as the wind swayed her hair she looked at the stars silently praying for him to be safe as she met with her end, Haruchiyo yelled. 
He knew that he would never be the same at least not without her.
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mxnjiros · 2 years
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Finally
Characters: Sanzu X Reader
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Blood, Gun Shots, Toxic Relationship, Crying.
Minors and Ageless Blogs Do Not Interact!!!
• - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - •
Sanzu Haruchiyo made it very fucking clear that you were nothing more than an easy fuck. Yet, you were beneath him as he whispered the only words he had never once uttered to you.
Everything happens too fast. You hardly know what is going on deafened by the sound of a gun shot followed by a couple more coming from behind you. You were trapped beneath Sanzu, his body shielding you from the fire taking place in your living room. Your brain registering this as something good, something to be happy about as the warmth feeling that he came to save you spreads through you.
That's not the only thing spreading. You heard an 'oh, fuck' mumbled at your ear, and suddenly the warmth you felt was all too real, slowly soaking your clothes and that warm feeling now chills you to the bone.
He doesn't have the luxury of time or much strength to roll off of you. He realizes how shitty this whole thing is. A smile spreads on his scared lips, well at least he get to traumatize you one last time by trapping you beneath his corpse, how fucked up is that.
A garbled laugh leaves his lips and warm liquids drips from them to your ear as he attempts to whisper the only words he had never been able to say to you. So far Haruchiyo has been successful at avoiding this shit from happening, but he just couldn't let go, not without telling you.
He treated you like shit in front of everyone. Proclaimed over and over how you were nothing but a toy. Making sure everyone knew you were nothing but an easy slut, and the best fuck he had ever had. Going so far as to slut you out to his colleagues, who knew full well, he would have stopped bringing you around if he really did hate you as much as he claims.
He made you cry in private, in case anyone ever got the idea that hurting you would get to him. He hurt you to make you stronger.
Haruchiyo didn't have it in him to admit to his colleagues how scared he was to lose you after he received that picture. Whoever had that gun to your head was going to pay, he knew that much. He disguised his feeling with anger, because who dared challenge Bonten's number two, and thought they would get away with it. No, this was definitely not about you, or at least that what he told everyone including himself.
Of course finding you frightened and crying by anyone other than him pissed him off more than anything. Yet he knew this guy was serious, he could recognize the resolve in his eyes, you were as good as dead. So he did the only thing he could think of to protect you. He was your shield, and his back up would take care of the rest.
He brought one hand up to wipe away your tears, as he looked at you. He couldn't believe you were still here, alive. What had he done to deserve such an angel? "I love you, I'm sorry." The words were barely a whisper and you could see the light in his eyes going out. You couldn't believe what you were hearing, this had to be a joke. It had to be a fucking joke. Life was cruel, but it wasn't this cruel, was it?
He laid his face on your chest, closing his eyes, he focused on your breathing and erratic heart. He wanted to believe your heart was beating wildly at his confession and not at the situation he has undoubtedly put you in. He couldn't hear your pleas or desperate cries to get him to hold on. Instead he succumbed to the darkness he couldn't keep at bay, as he mumbled one last time "I love you."
• - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - • - •
Tag List: @bxnten @islascafe @sugusshi @virtue-and-beneviolence @godist @brownsugarmoonie
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lolaxqf · 2 years
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𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒛𝒖 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕
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༊Some angst from his backstory 𓅿
༊wc: 647 𓅿
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Eventhough living in the same penthouse with sanzu, you dont really see him much. He's always busy with work. Well, what can you do, he's a part of the biggest criminal organisation in Japan.
One night, you had enough of his behaviour. When he finally arrived home, you greeted him with a loving smile. He kisses your cheeks and quickly went away and change his clothes. He looks like he's gonna go out again. "Where are you going? You just got back.". You asked him. "Yea, i need to be with mikey tonight.". He replied. You roll your eyes with a sigh at him. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?", he noticed you.
"Yea, I've had enough with you like this. Its always 'mikey this', 'mikey that'. You're always with him all the time. You're so loyal to him, you don't see me anymore. You're so busy being by his side, till you neglected me. Why are you so loyal to him since you knew what he did to you?". You spill out the words from your heart. Sanzu stood there infront of you, stunned with ur words. He never thought he had hurted you all this while. "I-, you know i-", you cut him off before he had the chance to finish his sentence. "Wait haru, i think i know why. You're not just that loyal to mikey, you're afraid of him. Afraid of the past. You're afraid he might hurt you again. That's why you bow down to him. You're afraid,"
Sanzu had the reaction you had never seen before. He never thought u might say those kind of words. His body froze in place. In a flash, he covered his mouth with both of his hands. You look him right in the eyes. His beautiful soft blue eyes looking right at you. Clear crystals starting to form around his eyes. Then you finally realized what you had said to him. "Haru I'm-", you try to walk closer to him. He went backwards and stumbled upon himself. He backs away, trying to avoid you. Your heart shattered immediately by looking at his current condition. You went over to him swiftly and pull him close to you. You hush him to comfort him, with your hands rubbing his hair. "I'm, sorry haru, i didn't actually meant that,". You said.
He placed his head on your shoulder. "I'm very sorry haru. You don't deserve all this. I'm truly sorry for you. If i were there at that moment, i would've kill mikey for u. You should've been happy. A child should never suffer like you did. You deserve all the love in this world. It was never your fault haru, its theirs,". Sanzu lean in towards you, he clutches his hands around your waist. You felt your shoulder getting wet. You hug him tightly. "Its alright haru, cry all you want, let it all out. Its ok to cry, you've been bottling it all up all these years. You've been through so much. I'm sorry i wasn't there for you."
"Don't ever leave me, please,". You heard him mumble beside you. "Yes haru, i will never leave you, i will forever be here with you,", you replied. Sanzu let out a crying sob on your shoulder. By this you knew, he has his trust in you. You then lift his face to face yours. You can't helped it but smiled by looking at his face. Those crystal blue eyes looking directly at you. His cheeks and nose turned red. You wiped away the tears all over his cheeks. You kiss his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose, and both of his scars with all the love from the bottom of your heart. Now he finally realized, you are his comfort place, his home, his everything. He finally felt safe, when he's with you.
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Text
Madness
I am back to where I belong and I successfully worked on the chapter I had promised. I'm so sorry for the delay.
Without wasting any more lines... please enjoy. The next chapter will be up, coming Monday/Tuesday. I had to cut this chapter in half since it was getting longer than what I had anticipated. Please forgive me, it's 5:30 am as I finished proof reading this.
Warnings : humping, cursing, mentions of alcohol, smoking, cigarette burns, fluff, slow burn angst, jealousy, toxic relationships, hurt, abuse, smut?
Minors DNI
taglist is open
-Yuki❄
Sanzu x OC
Masterlist
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      Sanzu had planned on fixing his relationship with y/n before he did anything that could make her misunderstand, that he only wanted her body. Even so, he could not stop himself from kissing her neck.
‘This much should be allowed right?’
He tried to pacify himself, because if he had to be honest, he had missed her taste so much in these past 8 years. So much, that this very moment, when he had her in his arms felt like a dream. And he was afraid to wake up.
“Say something princess.”, he whispered between open mouthed kisses.
y/n did not plan to be swayed by Sanzu, but her mind had stopped functioning, the moment he had stripped naked and stepped into the tub. Now, his kisses were testing her patience. She was struggling to stay sane under his touch.
y/n unconsciously turned her head to give Sanzu more access to her neck, while moaning under his touch.
“Nghh...... Wh-what do you want me t-to say?”, she managed to stammer. Her eyes were shut as she melted blissfully into his kisses.
Continuing the trail of kisses to reach her cheek, while slowly using his left hand to turn her head towards his own, he stopped the kisses right next to her lips. Breathing in her scent deeply, he kept his lips on her face, as he spoke into her soft skin, “Tell me how much you missed me princess.”
Before she could answer, he captured her lips with his own and licked her bottom lip asking for permission to deepen the kiss.
Lost in a Sanzu fog, y/n failed to hear what he said as her heart was beating erratically. It had been so fucking long that she felt like this.
So damned fucking long.
She opened her mouth, letting his tongue dance with hers as he tried to reach every nook and cranny of her mouth, ravishing her, as if he were having his life’s last meal ever.
As Sanzu felt that y/n was struggling to breathe, he broke the kiss. Bumping foreheads, they both panted for their breaths, as if having run a marathon.
That had to be the hottest kiss in their entire twisted relationship. Or maybe it was just that it had been so long since they’d kissed like this, they’d both seemed to forget how it had felt.
Hugging her even closer, Sanzu repeated his request as he was yet to get a reply from y/n.
“Baby, you never replied.”
“Hmm? What did you ask, Haru?”, y/n asked as she got more comfortable in his embrace while still floating on the serotonin of kissing Sanzu after so long.
“I asked you to tell me how much you missed me, Princess.”, Sanzu whispered in her ear.
y/n felt a chill run up her spine. He could not be fucking asking this question to her, trying to gloss over the past with just one fucking kiss.
‘Sanzu had no right to ask her this. He was the one who had left. How could he be so fucking disillusioned to the point that he had expected her to wait for an eternity while he was out doing who knows what.’
y/n scoffed internally as she straightened from his embrace. The scene from two years ago, of him flirting with her tormentor flashed in her mind as she thought about this. Standing up, she icily replied, “It’s getting late. The water is cold. I am clean now. Please let me go. I need to get dressed.”
Sanzu felt a sharp stab in his chest at her change in attitude. But he didn’t say anything. He knew he’d crossed a line with that question. He’d gotten ahead of himself and it had seemed to slip out of his mouth in the heat of the moment. He regretted it, but he was not disheartened. He planned to make sure that she’d never be able to leave his side. Ever.
Now that she was with him, there was no way he would let her escape. No. The pain of losing her was worse than death. He was not ready to experience it all over again. Because no amount of drugs, Sake or bloodlust would keep him sane now that he remembered what it was like to be with her.
Over time, the pain of leaving her behind had numbed itself. It had taken 7 years for that stabbing hurt to change into a dull pain he’d feel on sunny days. Because they reminded him of her. Too much. So much so that he’d curled up into a ball on the floor, because he felt short of breath and it seemed to hurt everywhere.
Ran had to break through his door once, after hearing Sanzu groan on the phone, when he’d called the junkie to discuss an upcoming mission.
But Sanzu could not utter the words out loud, that his breathlessness stemmed from his missing y/n.
_______________________________________
1 year ago –
            Mikey was putting on his shirt as his doorbell rang. He was not expecting any visitors at this hour.
            y/n had to leave. She was showering in his bathroom.
It was pouring heavily outside.
Opening the door, he saw Sanzu standing drenched in the rain. His face betrayed no emotions, however, his eyes were bloodshot.
It seemed he had cried his eyes out in the rain.
Sanzu was about to enter when Mikey placed a hand on his chest to stop him at the door.
“What do you need?”
“I need information on Nakahara. I need his files. Kokonoi said he’d submitted them to you.”
“Wait here while I go fetch them. I have a guest and do not wish to disturb them.”
“Yes boss.”
Mikey shut the door on Sanzu’s face as he pinched his eyes together.
‘What a bother that the woman he loves is showering in his own home. It would be so easy to break him. All he had to do was bring him inside and wait for him to see y/n naked except for the flimsy towel wrapped around her body.’
But Mikey needed his loyal mad dog. He was an important chess piece.
Mikey would never admit that deep, deep in his heart, he was scared of losing y/n as his mistress. If he messed up the delicate game that she was playing, then he could kiss their sessions goodbye.
And also his family jewels.
Sighing, he went into his study to bring the files that Sanzu had asked for. As he was rummaging, he heard a soft knock on the open door.
Looking up, he saw y/n wearing an extremely flimsy dress, which seemed to cover... almost nothing. It left nothing for him to imagine.
He salivated as he saw her wiping her hair while leaning on his door.
As if in a trance, he left rummaging and walked over to her as he tried to pull her by her waist towards himself.
‘I want her’, was the only thought in his mind.
Smack!
A loud slap echoed as his face started to redden from the impact.
It also brought him out of his hazy lust.
“Mikeyyy~ I think you know. No touching.”, she whispered seductively as she licked his cheek where her palm had made the mark. Blowing on it to cool it, she bit his cheek playfully as she asked, “Who’s at the door?”
Mikey gulped.
This was it. This was the moment. He could either continue just like this or change things between them.
Mikey wanted more. He wanted to touch her, feel her skin with his own hands, kiss her, be inside her.
But reality was different.
He was never allowed to touch her out of his own volition. He always had to sit like a meek dog.
‘Maybe I can change things a little.’, Mikey thought desperately. He was getting tired of humping her stilettoes every time.
He went out and asked Sanzu to give him 10 more minutes and called a guard inside.
“Hold the phone properly and take a clear picture of when I kiss the woman who’s inside. As soon as you click it, upload it to my cloud. Here.”, Mikey instructed him as he gave him his phone.
“Yes Boss.”, he replied.
Mikey then motioned for him to wait for a few seconds before following him inside.
As Mikey reached his bedroom, he gave the guard the signal to get ready as he pulled an unsuspecting y/n by her waist and kissed her as if his life depended on it. He made sure to hold her hands still as he did this because he knew, unlike him, she used her hands in a fight.
y/n was completely taken by surprise by the kiss and had no time to react. By the time she realized what was happening, Mikey had successfully pinned her arms motionless. All she could do was bite his tongue which seemed to explore her mouth thirstily.
Mikey yelped as he separated from her. His tongue was bleeding a little from her vicious bite.
“Ouch, y/n! That hurt!”
Before he could say anything more, he felt a fist connect with his cheek. y/n had punched him hard enough for him to land on his ass on the floor.
The guard who was clicking the pictures was about to drop the phone to save Mikey, when he motioned for the guard to stay still.
Mike smiled from below as he said, “That was uncalled for, but I’ll forgive you this time.”
“That was completely called for you jerk!”, she fumed.
“What had I said about the no touch rule?”
“Well, that kiss was an introduction to the amendments that I want to make to our contract, y/n.”
y/n scoffed.
“Do you even know who you are trying to bargain with?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”, Mikey grinned evilly as he stood up and walked to the guard to take his phone.
“You see, I asked him to take a picture of us kissing like two fools in love for a reason.”
y/n felt her breath hitch. She knew something was wrong. Something was not going according to plan.
“Even though we’re not, that kiss could fool anyone into thinking we’re a couple.”, Mikey continued.
“You asked me who was at the door, right? It’s your beloved Sanzu Haruchiyo. He’s here to pick up some files for work. You know y/n, he looked like a sad kitty who was left in the rain. He’s drenched completely.”
‘No! Haru no! not you. You of all people cannot know I’m here. You cannot know this dirty secret of mine. No. Please no!’, y/n started to panic on the inside.
_______________________________________
She was dressed in that flimsy nightgown from a set which Mikey had brought. Since her clothes were wet, she had no other choice but to wear it.
And because he was well behaved in their past few sessions, she had brought over her favorite flowers today to his house. Purple columbines. She never gifted them to anyone except for Haru. Now, she had just brought them over because it was her birthday today and she felt especially lonely tonight.
There was no need to remind Mikey that it was her birthday today. No, there certainly was no reason for it. She just didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts today.
She had ordered the bouquet from Mikey’s account overseas a week ago. They had finally arrived on time and she had picked them up and trudged towards Mikey’s penthouse. A session with him might just help her forget her lonely thoughts.
_______________________________________
Mikey saw the fear in her eyes. She could mask her feelings well, but he knew fear when he saw it.
Feeling his plan working, he continued to torture her more.
“His eyes are puffy and bloodshot. I think he was crying.”
“What... What do you want from me, you bastard!?”, y/n growled. She could not let her tears fall.
“You see, I want to be able to touch you too. I want our sessions amended. We fuck after a session. I want to kiss your lips as I pound into you. You’re going to let me hold you from time to time when we’re mid play as well. And most importantly, we’re going to have a set schedule to our meetings. Once every week. Saturdays. I’m not completely evil. I’ll let you rest on Sundays since I know you only have the weekends to yourself. If you can agree to these conditions, I’ll keep this picture between us. If not, I can send it right away to Sanzu. Don’t even think about trying to destroy my phone. I’ve backed it up to my cloud too.”
y/n felt backed into a corner. There was no way she was letting this scumbag get away with threatening her, but somehow, he did.
He got away and got a great deal out of it too.
No matter what, her first priority was keeping Sanzu safe and in the dark. He liked the sweet innocent her. The ‘her’ who had died when he’d said goodbye with that kiss. The ‘her’ who liked simple things in life, like hugging her boyfriend, reading books in the sun and eating ice cream in the rain.
Now, even though 7 years had passed, she still wanted to keep that image of hers intact. She could not let him know how far she had fallen. She could not let him know how much she had sacrificed so that she could have power over Mikey, thereby ensuring his safety. She just could not.
Because the ‘her’ who was standing here today was a ruthless vicious yandere bitch. The ‘her’ who would be jealous if he tried to cheat on the past ‘her’.
She knew who she had become, and that she was a far cry from the sweet girl that her Haru loved. Yet, she could not seem to let go of the past. She wanted to at least keep the façade of the sweet girl when she gathered the courage to meet him.
_______________________________________
Sighing out loud, y/n wordlessly walked to Mikey’s bedside drawer and pulled out their contract. She knew he kept it there. He had given her the password to the drawer too.
Picking a pen from nearby, she quickly scribbled at the end and signed.
Capping the pen shut, she walked to Mikey and hugged him.
He felt her go limp in his arms as he caught her body. This was the first time she had shown her vulnerable side to him. He felt a wicked sense of pride at knowing that this was how she was with Sanzu and yet, here he was finally getting the same treatment.
He held onto her waist possessively and dragged her into the hall. His bedroom was still filthy from their previous session. Sucking on her neck to create a hickey, he whispered to her.
“Good girl. I should have done this ages ago.”
y/n whispered back to him, “There’s one thing I won’t allow. You don’t get to have sex with me. Everything else is fine, but no dick in this pussy.”
“Hmm? Why so?”
“Because I am saving myself for my Haru. This is non-negotiable Mikey. If you disagree, I’ll kill you right now and then hang myself. I rather Haru find you and me dead, than give you my virginity.”
Mikey was stunned. The shock of knowing that she was a virgin did not seem to sit right with him. ‘She’s an experienced Dom but still a virgin! How?!’
But now was not the time to ponder over this. It also seemed like a small price to pay in exchange for getting to feel her up on a regular basis.
“Mmm... okay. I agree. I won’t put it inside you. There are a lot of other ways to get me to nut and I look forward to it~”, Mikey said as he kissed her below her jaw.
“Now go wait inside while I send Sanzu away.”
“Please give him a jacket. It’s cold outside. He’s already soaked.”
Mikey heard the quiver in her voice. His jealousy flared. How in the world had that junkie gotten such a goddess to be whipped for him, he’d never know.
“Mikey give Haru a jacket, or else you’re in for a very painful session today.”, y/n threatened weakly since Mikey didn’t respond to her.
“Alright, alright! Jeez... I’ll give him a jacket.”
Walking to the door, Mikey grabbed his own jacket which he had worn and opened the door. Sanzu was still waiting outside, shivering.
Handing him the jacket, another thought crossed Mikey’s mind as he mischievously gave one purple columbine bloom from the bouquet to Sanzu, without saying anything.
He wanted to vent his jealousy. The jealousy of how y/n was madly in love with this druggie and not him.
Sanzu’s eyes became as wide as saucers when he saw the flower. It didn’t usually grow in Japan. ‘How had Mikey gotten hold of this specific flower in this color?’
Sanzu ended up just opening and closing his mouth a couple of times. He’d forgotten how to speak.
“What is it?”, Mikey asked impatiently.
“H-How did you get a hold of this flower?”
“A client sealed a deal today and brought it over. I’m happy about it so I thought I’d give you one bloom out of the entire bouquet.”, Mikey said. He knew he was playing with fire here, but he could not help it.
“They’re her favorites! She never gave them to anyone but me. She’d said it was because she didn’t want to share me with anyone else. That I was hers and hers alone. Forever.”, Sanzu muttered in a daze as he kept staring at the flower.
Mikey controlled his surprise well behind his poker face. He knew y/n liked purple columbines, but he didn’t know the story behind why she loved it and what they meant to her. Sanzu’s words made him feel some sort of way on the inside.
It had been long since he’d felt such care. It’d been long since he felt like he belonged to someone. Like someone who cared. Even if she still saw him as her bratty sub, she still cared enough to bring those flowers to his house.
Mikey felt a rainbow of emotions in that moment. He wasn’t able to pin point if it was happiness, comfort, sadness, jealousy, pride or plain old emptiness. But there was one standing tall in all, and it was guilt.
Guilt for taking advantage of a situation.
A what if crept into his mind, thinking if he hadn’t done what he just did, would she have stopped loving Sanzu and started to love him eventually, seeing as she had brought these flowers to his house today?
Shaking his head physically to rid himself of those thoughts, he asked Sanzu, “who is she?”
“My y/n.”
“Yeah well, they’re not from anyone named y/n.”, Mikey lied through his teeth.
Sanzu felt that something didn’t add up. But not being one to question his boss, he thanked Mikey and took his leave.
_______________________________________
It was still pouring heavily outside.
But it didn’t seem to quench Sanzu’s thirst for his y/n at all.
He was outside Mikey’s building, walking on the pavement, while inhaling the non-existent scent from the flower. He kissed the flower tenderly, hoping against all odds that it would somehow bring y/n in front of him. But it did nothing. He was still standing alone in the rain.
Sanzu trudged along and walked aimlessly. His feet seemed to be on autopilot as he walked towards Snowdrop.
He felt tired.
Tired of waiting, tired of searching, tired of being lonely.
There was a certain purple haired man who was shamelessly chasing him, but he felt nothing for him.
He couldn’t feel the butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t feel his heart racing when he saw the elder Haitani. He didn’t blush and nor did he get any urge to be physical with him.
It wasn’t that Sanzu was straight, no. He knew he was bi right from when he’d read those yaoi mangas with y/n. He’d even ogled at men’s asses with her, just as she freely showed him hot women on the street.
They both were happy to be pervs together.
But he didn’t feel that rush of emotions with anyone but her.
So, instead of doing the healthy thing and moving on from her, he decided it was time to set Ran Haitani straight. Tell him to look elsewhere, because he was about to waste his time on a lovestruck fool like Sanzu.
He brought his phone out and scrolled through his contacts and called Ran.
Ran picked up on the first ring.
“Hello?”
“I’m sorry Ran. I can never love you back. Because you see, I don’t have the fucking space! I’m so consumed by y/n that I don’t have the time to even breathe for another person... Fuck, I’m so sorry. I wish I could love you. Believe me, I tried in my own way, but I can’t. I can’t seem to get her out of my head even though it has been seven fucking years! Seven fucking years, Ran!!”
Ran panicked internally. He could hear the heavy rain and Sanzu’s speech was coming in short gasps. He cut him short and asked with as much patience as he could muster, without letting his anxiety creep out.
“Sanzu, sweetie, tell me where are you? let’s meet and talk okay? You don’t sound so good.”
“Fuck you Haitani! You had one job. One fucking job!”, Sanzu continued to sob into the call, ignoring Ran’s questions.
Ran meanwhile put the phone on speaker and checked the GPS on Sanzu’s phone. All the guilt he had felt for the past one year for installing the tracker on his phone seemed to be washed away when he saw Sanzu’s pin beeping close to Snowdrop. Quickly grabbing a couple of thick jackets and his car keys, he all but flew to the garage, all the while making sure that Sanzu kept talking.
“Yes sweetie, tell me what was my job?”, Ran asked as calmly as possible. Keeping Sanzu on the call was important. He sounded as if he was about to do something stupid.
His hands were shaking while opening the lock to his car.
‘Please don’t do anything stupid. Please.’, he prayed.
“Your one fucking job was to fall in love with someone nice, someone who can give you the time of day and love you back. Why’d you have to fall for a wreck like me, you retard?”
Ran controlled his emotions as he said in the same gentle tone, “Mhm, and what gives you the right to say that you are a wreck?”
Sanzu’s rage boiled over as he growled into the phone, “Fuck you Haitani!, what’s good about me? Huh? You’re just wasting your time on me. I cannot love you. I will never love you. We will never fuck. Because I still love her and I will die loving her. Even if I cannot see her, my heart does not have the space to allow anyone else into it... I... can’t... anymore...”
Sanzu began sobbing softly in the end. He was feeling his heart beating erratically, while there was a slow burning fire beginning in the pit of his stomach.
A car swerved to a stop in front of him as a bumbling Ran flew out of it.
Ran rushed to Sanzu and hugged him into his own jacket.
Sanzu was drenched to the bone.
But Sanzu felt like the cold had seeped into his heart a long time ago .
_______________________________________
Ran had helped him a lot in the past couple of years. At first, he was reluctant to accept Ran’s help, but he’d slowly started to open up. Not completely, but still; he’d spoken about y/n to him on more than one occasion. He knew he was taking advantage of the fact that Ran had feelings for him. But he just felt so lonely at times. He’d gotten himself shit drunk every time before he would have the courage to sink into Ran’s embrace and reminisce about y/n. He knew he was hurting Ran, but he was too far gone in his own pain to stop this reckless behaviour.
Ran, on the other hand was ecstatic. He was used to getting what he wanted the easy way. He had the money, the good looks and the power to get it all, but this was Sanzu. Sanzu had it all too. He was also an elite of Bonten. In fact, since he was Mikey’s second in command, he actually had more power than Ran.
Not that Ran would force Sanzu into anything. No. He was not that kind of a person. But it had been more than a year and Sanzu was still acting oblivious to his feelings. So, when Sanzu finally started melting slowly, he was delirious with joy. Even though he knew that Sanzu was only using him because he missed y/n, nonetheless, Ran was the only one privy to the pink haired druggie’s deepest thoughts, desires and emotions. Something which no one knew, except for y/n.
‘But she wasn’t here, was she? She had broken his heart and was somewhere far, far away.’ She was conveniently out of the picture. Ran had grandiose dreams about being Sanzu’s knight in shining armour. He planned on being the shoulder, Sanzu could lean on when he felt heartbroken, so that he could comfort him and end up making him fall in love; show him that unlike that woman, he would be there for his beloved junkie.
But now she was back. No matter how much he tried, he had shamelessly fallen in love with her when he’d seen her in the dingy cellar. Even though her face was covered with blood, grime, cuts and bruises, he still found her so fucking attractive, that he had groaned internally. Why the fuck was his taste so twisted? He had gone and fallen in love twice in his life, and the same two fucking people were in a relationship.
Ran was sure if he died, the root cause would be heartbreak and it would be because of these two star-crossed lovers that he’d gotten himself involved with.
_______________________________________
After getting out of the tub, y/n walked towards the bed where Sanzu had laid out the bathrobe for her. Wrapping it around herself, she padded towards the mirror to see how bad the damage was. It hurt just below her chest every time she stretched even for a little bit.
The room was dark, save for the continuous dim soft night lights that ran throughout the room at the bottom. y/n was about to switch on the light which lined Sanzu’s mirror, when one of his hands covered hers over the switch and the other covered her eyes.
“I’m sorry I misspoke before. Please rest for today. The doctor will be here shortly. I do not want you getting hurt. Please, y/n, just lie down and the doctor treat all your wounds.”, Sanzu said in a soft whisper in her ear.
He felt tears on his palm which was covering her eyes, yet there was no sound. He was furious at the two scum who had made his y/n feel like this. He planned to make a quick call to Ran once Sakamoto was done bandaging her wounds.
Sanzu moved both his hands to her waist as he gently guided her to his own bed. After helping her lie down in a position which she deemed the least painful, he flipped his phone open to call Sakamoto, who was waiting nearby.
“Come up now. She might fall asleep so treat her wounds with utmost care. If not, I’ll get Tsubaki to ‘help’ you.”
Sakamoto felt the bone chilling threat that Sanzu had promised. He was usually never called by this man. Even if he was, he was always asked to cause pain to the person he was working with. He had never been able to, but over the years, he’d steeled his stomach and learnt a few torturous methods of healing people from Tsubaki.
_______________________________________
Bonten had Tsubaki and Sakamoto. They were opposites of each other. Though both were doctors; who were friends since childhood, it was always the boisterous Tsubaki who had bossed over the meek Sakamoto. If Tsubaki was the one who filled anthills with water, Sakamoto was the one who would free the butterflies which were caught in nets. No matter which angle an outsider would see from, they looked like two people who should never get along well. However, Bonten knew better. Everyone except Tsubaki knew, that Sakamoto was crazy in love with her. He always had been. It was the reason why he was able to handle the requests he was given by Bonten.
Tsubaki was always called when they needed to torture yet keep people alive. She was ruthless in the way she helped take care of wounds on the people to be tortured. She never used anaesthesia. There were a few times when she had performed operations and surgeries to collect kidneys without anaesthesia, just because the face of the goods didn’t look good. Mikey had kept her around for the very fact that she was just as ruthless as the others in Bonten. However, her only condition was that Sakamoto be hired along with her. She always saw him as someone who needed to be protected by her.
Sakamoto could never handle hurting insects, much less humans. So when he was hired by Bonten, he had retched out his insides the first time he was forced to remove a bullet from Kokonoi’s stomach. This was because Koko had stupidly asked him to not give him anaesthesia and then howled at the amount of pain that he’d gone through.
Sakamoto had managed to keep still till he reached his house, a two-bedroom home that he shared with Tsubaki. Once inside, he’d rushed to the bathroom and hurled the whole night, while Tsubaki took care of him. Suffice to say, the affection he’d felt from Tsubaki that night spurred him on, in a twisted way to try and learn torturous methods of cure, just so that he could come back and get babied by Tsubaki.
_______________________________________
Sakamoto entered Sanzu’s house. He’d never been here ever before, so he was pleasantly surprised to see Sanzu’s house so neat, chic and modern. He’d half expected him to live in a rich dump littered with cigarettes, drugs and bottles of alcohol strewn around.
Sanzu stopped Sakamoto at the door and whispered menacingly.
“If she’s asleep, don’t you dare wake her up. She’s extremely tired and needs to rest. Even I know that much. And don’t touch her unnecessarily. I’ll be right beside you to break your fingers if I feel you even thinking a single dirty thought about her.”
Sakamoto gulped audibly. Who was this woman who had Sanzu behaving so possessively? Nonetheless, he nodded in agreement as he was led to Sanzu’s bedroom. Sanzu meanwhile moved towards the kitchen to prepare a bowl of rice porridge for her to eat if she were to wake up in the middle of the night.
_______________________________________
y/n was lying peacefully, tucked into the plush covers. Even though the room was comfortably dark, she was wide awake. Now that it was safe, and the adrenalin was no more fueling her fight or flight instinct, she felt horrible pain take over every part of her.
After being coddled by Sanzu in the tub and also while being tucked into bed, y/n finally felt reality hit her. How a co-worker that she knew had turned out to be the person who wanted her dead with no dignity left; how Sanzu and his Bonten elites had reached just in the nick of time to save her and most importantly, how her gamble had miraculously worked. Smiling to herself, she waited for Sanzu to return.
However, the man entering the room was not Sanzu, it was a stranger. Sanzu was nowhere to be seen. Although he gave off pleasant vibes, y/n was not one to risk it. She tried to move, only to feel her body give up on her. The abuse from the past week coupled with no sleep had made her body like stone. The only thing that seemed to work was her voice.
And so, y/n screamed bloody murder at the top of her lungs.
_______________________________________
Sakamoto flinched when he heard her scream. He stopped in his tracks. Sanzu pushed past him to walk towards y/n. He swiftly grabbed her limp body into his arms as he shushed her.
“Baby, I’m right here. Shh, it’s alright.”, he cooed tenderly to her.
Once she seemed to calm down, he whispered to her, “He’s the doctor I called over to take a look at your bruises. Don’t worry, you’re safe here. No one will ever trouble you ever again. I’ll always protect you, my princess.”
“C-can you p-please stay beside me? I don’t trust anyone but you, Haru. P-please.”, she stammered out of fear.
“Of course, I’ll be right by you. Okay?”
“Mmm”
Sanzu kissed her cheek as he moved to the other side of the bed to sit atop the covers. He felt a sick sense of pride at seeing the woman he loved being afraid of everyone except him. He casually started cooking plans on how to continue and encourage this behaviour so that she could never leave him.
She needed only him. No one else. There was no need for her to have contact with anyone else but him.
That way, he could keep her safe and always with him.
He held her shoulders gently and made her sit up as he signalled Sakamoto to come over.
Sakamoto finally came in and placed his bag beside her. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he first checked her pulse on her wrist. He could feel Sanzu glaring daggers at him as he did so, since he had to hold y/n's wrist.
“l/n-san, I’m a doctor, so please don’t feel shy to tell me things, okay? I can help you better that way.”, Sakamoto took on a gentle tone as he spoke to her. He felt as if he was trying to tame a cornered wild animal.
“Okay, Dr. Sakamoto.”
“Good. Now, tell me where all does it hurt?”
“Umm, well... it hurts a lot when I try to stretch or stand up straight. And I feel like my skin is burning everywhere. I’m holding in the pain.”
“l/n-san, I am lifting your robes, okay? I need to see if there are bruises.
“No Sakamoto! You are not touching my woman anywhere or going to look at her naked body.” Sanzu snarled as he instinctively pulled y/n into his embrace.
“Ow, Haru, it hurts. Let him check since he’s a doctor, besides, you’re here for me, so he cannot do anything.”
Sanzu’s twisted pride at her words tried to make it’s way in the form of a smug smile on his lips. Not one to show his emotions to outsiders, he tried to nonchalantly say, “Hmph, you better keep your mind clean Sakamoto. And I dare you to breathe a word about her to anyone.”
“Calm down Sanzu, I am a doctor first and foremost. And you already know that I have someone I cannot seem to get. I have no interest in Ms. l/n like that.”, Sakamoto huffed. He was starting to get pissed off at how possessive Sanzu was behaving. But he dared not voice it, for he knew how wild Sanzu could get if he got mad.
“l/n-san, it seems that you might have bruised your ribs.”, Sakamoto said as he touched y/n just below her breasts. She had winced and gripped Sanzu’s hand tightly.
Sanzu held in his jealousy because of the way she squeezed his hand. He could feel that she was barely holding onto the scream and the entirety of it was directed in the painful grip that she had over his palm.
“Sanzu, I need to bandage the lower portion of her body, so you need to hold her still. l/n san, this might hurt a little bit, so please bear with me. You need to keep the lower half of your body straight for a couple of weeks so that the bruised ribs do not get aggravated.”
“Mhm, okay doctor.”
“Ahem, Sanzu, I need your help here. l/n san, are you able to lift your arms up?”, Sakamoto asked, as he gestured by holding his arms at shoulder length.
“Let me try...”, y/n raised them just a little and yelped in pain.
“Hmm, I figured as much. Sanzu, please support l/n san’s arms so that they can be held at shoulder length while I wrap the bandages around her torso.”
Sanzu grunted in agreement. He then gently slid his arms below hers and very slowly lifted them higher and higher as Sakamoto had instructed. It looked as if y/n was leaning on a window sill. A handsome, lithe, strong window sill that had bright pink hair and chiseled features.
Once Sakamoto was done wrapping her up, he pulled out an ointment from his bag and handed it to Sanzu.
“You need to apply this and wrap up the places where she has these types of red bruises.”, Sakamoto spoke as he pointed to the red welts on her arms.
“Don’t worry, l/n san, this ointment will help cool the bruises. Since it’s a little oily, wrapping the area in a bandage is cleaner.”
“Thank you very much, Doctor Sakamoto. I do feel a bit better now.”
“Mhm, please call me if you face any other problems.”
“I will.”
“No she won’t. You’re not allowed to look at her body the next time.”
“Haru!”
“What!? He’s already seen enough skin. He should be thankful that I haven’t blinded him yet.”
Slapping her small palm on Sanzu’s mouth, y/n smiled sheepishly as she said, “Please do not listen to him. I will call you if I have any further complications.”
Immediately turning to Sanzu who was about to lick her palm, she retorted, “Don’t you dare lick my hand Haru, or else I’m leaving right now!”
Sanzu stopped his tongue on time. Even though she could not escape in her current state, he still took her threat seriously. He could not afford to lose her again.
Sakamoto hid his fear behind a mask of his business smile as he packed up his things. He dared not show his shock at the fact that such a tiny weak and frail woman was able to tame the wild card of Bonten to such an extent.
Sanzu was known to not listen to anyone except maybe Mikey at times, when he felt like it. The rest had to send in their requests to him via Mikey if they needed any sort of help from the resident druggie.
So, seeing him so meek and tame, listening to the woman sitting in front of him like a good little trained dog shocked Sakamoto to the core. Sanzu was the equivalent of a well-trained, vicious Doberman Pinscher, which would bark at anyone coming close to it’s baby master. However, his behaviour towards her was a complete 180 degree turn of what it was towards others. He’d turn into a fluffball who would be walked upon by her and yet, he’d just smile and let her be.
If Sakamoto was honest, he had nearly pissed his pants the moment he saw her playfully putting her palm on Sanzu’s mouth. He fought his reflex to warn her against doing so, because he had seen how delicately the druggie had handled her while he was wrapping her bruised ribs.
Standing, Sakamoto bowed to the two love birds and left towards the entrance.
Sanzu kissed y/n's cheek as he said, “I’ll see him out and bring you a bowl of porridge. Till then, here’s the remote to the TV. Find what you like and wait for me, okay?”
“Mhm... don’t be too long and don’t harass the doctor please. I’ll be very angry if I know that you have. He was only doing his job.”
“...”
“Haru, you won’t get a taste of my pussy ever, if you do anything to the doctor. I. Mean. It.”
“Okay okay! Jeez, I was just going to threaten him a little bit.”
y/n pouted and closed her legs as if to show him what his punishment would be.
Groaning, Sanzu ran a hand through his hair as he promised not to do anything to Sakamoto.
Grumbling to himself over how the stupid doctor had cockblocked him, he went to close the door. He knew long before that Sakamoto would have run away but he still wanted to mess with y/n for a bit when he said that.
Sanzu waited for the porridge to be done, as he stood in the kitchen. He called up Ran in the meanwhile.
“Hey pretty boy, finally remember me?”, Ran’s voice came a little more grumpier than he wanted to sound.
Sanzu sighed audibly and pinched his eyes as he spoke softly, “Ran, stop it... You know I can’t meet you like before.”
_______________________________________
Unknown to Sanzu, y/n heard this as she was standing close to the entrance of his bedroom.
And it hurt.
It hurt to know that she was the only one stuck in the past, whereas he had moved on to another man.
Not even a woman, but a man.
Not any man. The man who put Gods to shame.
Haitani fucking Ran.
She stood no chance of getting him back.
Slowly walking towards his bed, she switched on the TV and set the volume loud on some random channel. Her mind seemed to be in a mess.
_______________________________________
Oblivious to the fact that y/n had heard him, Sanzu continued on the phone.
“I never led you on, Haitani. We’re just friends. Be glad that I consider you one. Because no one else fits the bill.”
Swallowing his jealousy for y/n, Ran laughed it off and said airily, “Now now, don’t get your panties in a bunch Sanzu-kun. You know I always flirt with you. Don’t take it seriously, unless you have fallen for me~”
“Cut the crap and listen.”
“Such a spoilsport. What do you need done?”
“What’s the status of Kriss and Naoki?”
“Sir! Bullets were removed in the most painful manner. Tsubaki had a ball. She made them scream till Naoki passed out. Kriss, is still screaming since the past few hours. Tsubaki seems to be taking her time, saying that the bullet was shattered, so she’s still plugged her ears and is removing the bullets with blunt rusted tools.”
Sanzu smiled evilly. He had high hopes from Tsubaki to torture the two rats. She had outperformed. It was close to 11 at night and if Kriss was still screaming, it had to be a good 4 hours by now.
“Good. I need you to do a couple of things.”
“Anything for you, my master~”
“Ran stop flirting and listen to me for a goddamned minute for once!”, Sanzu screamed into the phone. He slapped his hand on his face when he realized what he had screamed and how, y/n might have heard it. Peeping into his room, he saw her watching the television.
Sighing to himself, he hissed into his phone, “Listen here, you little shit. I don’t want to mess things up with y/n. You of all people know this. Don’t, please, I beg you, please don’t do this. I don’t want her to misunderstand.”
Ran felt a pang of hurt. It seemed that replacing his hard-earned place in Sanzu’s heart was very easy for Sanzu. It hadn’t even been a few hours since y/n had entered their lives and Sanzu’s attitude towards Ran was back to what it was 5 years ago. It was all back to square one between them. The only difference: He had begged to be left alone.
Sanzu never begged anyone. It seemed there was still hope for him if he could play his cards right.
‘Sanzu, I fucking helped you to try and get over her and this is my reward when she came back. Fine. I’ll get you, or her. No matter what, I will fucking be the third wheel in your relationship.’ Ran thought maliciously.
“Okay lover boy, I’ll flirt less with you. Tell me, what do you need?”
“First, tell Tsubaki she’ll get the promised amount and a bit more by tomorrow. I cannot leave y/n alone tonight, so I’ll wire the money to her once I inspect her handiwork.”
“So you’re not coming here as you promised?”, Ran asked sounding like a puppy left in the rain.
“No, I am not. Which is why I need your help with the second thing.”
“Hmph, I’m doing it, only because you have a pretty mug, you druggie.”
Sanzu chose to ignore Ran’s flirting as he continued, “Pull out Kriss’s nails completely and dip her fingers in hot bubbling beeswax. Any other wax which has a higher boiling point and can hurt more, that will work too. This will be step one of her pain. She hurt my princess so she deserves a lot more. I will personally make her life a living hell. She is going to wish that she was dead.”
Sanzu let out a crazed laugh as he finished speaking.
Ran shuddered for a second. He knew Sanzu was ruthless and usually kept this form of torture only for those who had crossed Mikey and/or taken matters to the very extreme. It was also the very last torture that he’d used. Hearing him say now that this was step one, chilled Ran’s bones.
‘How precious was l/n y/n to Sanzu that he was pulling out the big guns for her revenge?’
“I’ll be coming by tomorrow morning to see how it’s going. Make sure that tonight, all her nails are pulled out and her fingers are dipped into the wax.”
“Isn’t it a little excessive for the first step?”, Ran questioned. He wanted to probe how far Sanzu could go for this girl.
“...”
“Sanzu, you there?”
“Ran, I am giving this order as your superior, as Bonten’s second in command. Do not question me unless you want to be treated the same way.”, came Sanzu’s cold declaration.
“... You don’t need to get so uptight. I’ll see to it that it’s done. Make that woman scream all night.”
“Good.”, Sanzu sighed. He then continued in a deflated voice, “Nothing is above y/n for me, Ran. Nothing and no one is above her for me. I’ll stoop to the depths of hell for her. Ran, you of all people know how much she means to me. Or at least I have blabbed about her to you. I know I have.”
Ran could hear how tired Sanzu sounded. Feeling guilty for adding to his stress just now, he whispered into the phone, “Haruchiyo, I’m sorry. I know it all and yet, I said things I should not have, I promise, I will help you get revenge for l/n-san. Please don’t be mad at me.”
_____________________________________
Sanzu could sense that Ran was close to tears with the way his voice quivered at the end. He’d only called him Haruchiyo when he thought Sanzu was drunk out of his mind, when his voice was laced with his passion.
Sanzu had heard him go on and on a couple of times, when Ran had poured his heart out to the druggie, thinking that he was drunk and out cold. Those were the two times, he’d heard Ran call him Haruchiyo.
Sanzu realized what calling him Haruchiyo meant to Ran.
It was the way y/n always called him Haru.
This was Ran’s way of showing his affection. The affection, which spilt into their conversation today.
Ran would do anything for his ‘Haruchiyo’.
_____________________________________
Ran was the one who had comforted him. Because he was madly in love with him.
But he sounded hurt as he apologized and asked Sanzu not to be mad.
And Sanzu finally realized why.
He was asking Ran to help him with his revenge for y/n.
He was asking the man who had a crush on him to help with his revenge for the woman who was his love rival.
Sanzu felt like shit.
He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know how to comfort this man.
Luckily, Ran ended the call before things could get awkward.
Sanzu switched off the porridge which was done and slumped to the floor with a thud, clutching his head.
This triangle was becoming a lot more complicated than he had expected.
And it seemed that the storm was just beginning. Someone was bound to get hurt.
“I don’t wanna hurt you Ran.”, he whispered to himself.
_______________________________________
Even with the TV on, y/n had heard Sanzu yell, asking the elder Haitani to stop flirting with him. He had sounded exasperated. But there seemed to be a sort of closeness even at that volume.
The type of closeness that she’d shared with him eight years ago.
And it stabbed her like a sharp knife.
Here she was, waiting for him for eight fucking years and he had hopped off into the arms of another man.
‘Baby, had I seen this happen two years ago, I would have left you alone to be with him. But blame your own bad luck that we met now. I’ll make sure that I’m the only one on your mind. And I will tame the Haitani for trying to steal you.’ y/n thought maliciously.
She heard the thump of someone falling after a while, so she rushed outside, only to hear Sanzu whisper to himself, “I don’t wanna hurt you Ran.”
She stopped in her tracks and grinned through the pain.
‘I’ll make you watch, Haru. I’ll make your life a living hell for cheating on me.’
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Tags : @parkjimin1010smuts @fl4mepillar @violetpenguinkris @bontensbabygirl @luno614 @sano-obsessed
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toges-wife · 2 years
Text
Look what I've drew
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Haha both of my favourites <3 rindou would have been better but I was lazy
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ariachaos · 4 months
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Hc of Sanzu and/or Izana reacting when he founds out his s/o have abusive parents. After some months of relationship!
(Their Tenjiku and Kanto Manji versions, because I'm kinda sure the adult versions will go for killing people xD)
Can it be gender neutral reader, please?
Thanks!
i'm so sad i can't write their kanto manji versions bc i don't read the manga, but i can do tenjiku! thank you for requesting <3
reader is fem! reader
c/w: abuse, toxic parenting, gaslighting (not from them), and child neglect.
ᵗᵒᵘᵍʰ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ??
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being sanzu's s/o includes...
the past few months you've been dating sanzu has been nothing but a dream for you. he's been taking care of you when your parents refused to let you back inside the house, feed you on dates, and just overall a great boyfriend.
he even protected you on your way to and from school, keeping you company despite not being a big talker. he was a good listener, though, which is something a lot of people don't expect from a cold, stoic-looking guy like sanzu.
however, this is also how sanzu picked up on the fact your parents are far from the best. it took a minute to click in his brain that your parents would often starve you, leave you outside over night regardless of the weather, hit you until the bruises were blue and purple (he'd seen some, but you passed it off as being clumsy), and call you degrading names that would lead to you putting yourself down.
and sanzu hated it when you put yourself down. he knew you had a hard time with self-esteem but didn't know why until now.
┊ ➶ 。˚ °
the two of you were on another date after you got out of school, and he wasn't wearing his gang uniform to keep attention off of the two of you.
you accidentally let it slip that your parents were quite hard on you last night, smacking you left and right over getting an 84% on a paper. it really was a passing comment that you tried to pass off as a joke, but you could tell sanzu knew by the time you tried to cover it up.
now, sanzu wasn't new to the concept of bad parenting and neglectful childcare, but he never would've imagined that someone like you would be going through the same thing. and really, he's bursting at the seams with anger.
he's not mad at you, no. he's livid at the fact you've done nothing wrong in your life, and your parents choose to treat you so... badly. he can't even think of a word to describe what they could be doing to you, and sanzu feels like he's failing to protect you. how was he supposed to be your boyfriend but fail to keep you safe? sure, this is your parents, the exact people who should be protecting you, but they're clearly not doing their job right.
"um... sanzu, it was a joke-."
"no, it wasn't. you wouldn't make jokes like that."
he's right. after he told you what his childhood was like, you prevented from saying anything that might trigger him and put him off from interacting with you. and until now, you've held your tongue quite well.
"it's... not that serious, sanzu. i promise!"
but the boy had a hard time believing anything you said. whether or not your parents were that hard on you, he could tell you were going through similar things that he went through. even so, his heart didn't want to believe it and everything you said was just some sick joke that you spouted out on accident.
"we're leaving. let's go."
and you followed him, letting him drag you by the wrist, and occasionally pleading that the entire situation wasn't so serious, but sanzu didn't listen. he needed to see proof... even if it meant making you do things you probably would never do voluntarily.
"wait, sanzu-!"
"shut up. take your shirt off."
it's almost terrifying how scary he got after hearing a few words, and if you could, you'd bury yourself alive from the embarrassment and panic you were going through. sanzu had taken you to his studio apartment and demanded that you take your shirt off to see the damage done by your parents, but you tried to dissuade him from doing so.
if word got out, your parents could easily land themselves behind bars, and you'd have nowhere to go. maybe if you were persuasive with sanzu enough, he might let you stay long enough to get a job and earn enough to pay for an apartment on your own.
but you could only persist so much against sanzu, who was so much stronger than you with more fighting experience than you could ever hope to get. he eventually had you rid of your shirt, refusing to give it back as his eyes burned the image of every scab, bruise, and scratch on your body.
he held you there at arm's length, half-naked in his apartment.
you knew you were screwed. you could tell that whatever was going through his mind was not good. if things got any worse, sanzu might...
"sanzu...?"
┊ ➶ 。˚ °
his eyes flickered up to meet your eyes, but upon seeing your worried and panicked expression, he pulled you closer to him until he had your head tucked under his chin and holding you impossibly close to him. you were shaking from the cold air in his apartment, and for a moment, he felt horrible for stripping you the way he did.
it wouldn't hurt him to be a little gentler with you, but the past was the past.
"i'm... sorry."
he heard you chuckle a little after a beat of silence, feeling you pull away to look at him with a smile.
the boy could feel his heart melting at the mere sight of it again.
"why are you sorry? you were just worried, i know... i'm sorry you have to see... this."
he watched you motion weakly to your body, noticing a few other details he didn't notice before. you were suspiciously frail, even though you had a healthy appetite during the meals he treated you to and snacks he'd share. the skin on your arms were dry too, like they've been exposed to the cold wind for too long.
"no... i needed to see this. see what they did to you."
he answered, running his arms up and down your arms to keep you warm.
he nudged you further into his apartment, draping his hoodie over you and placing your button-up shirt in your hands. he had you sit down on the sofa while he turned up the heat in the apartment. sanzu busied himself by making some tea, but the images of your injuries kept flashing through his mind on repeat.
how long have you gone through this treatment?
why haven't you told him?
what else did your parents do to you?
how did you hide it for so long?
"uh, sanzu! the water's boiling over!"
the boy quickly turned the stove off and pulled you to his side before you got too close to the pot.
"go sit down... you shouldn't be moving too much."
he muttered, relaxing his shoulders and dropping his head onto your shoulder.
sanzu didn't expect you to be up and running around if your injuries. he could hardly spot a solid patch of your skin color on your body with all the marks on your skin.
it would be much preferrable if they were a different kind of mark from him, though...
with a shake of his head, sanzu guided you to the sofa and gave you a stern look, as if that would get you to stay still until the tea was ready.
"i'm not made of glass, baby. it looks worse than it feels, i promise."
you assure him, but it doesn't calm his rage toward your parents at all. in fact, it just made him feel angrier.
"it's not okay... you're not okay because of them."
he grumbled into your neck, having discarded his mask. he could feel you rubbing his back, even though he was supposed to be the one doing the comforting. despite that, he hugged you back, rubbing his thumb over your hips.
"hey, sanzu... is it okay if i stay with you for a while? i... my parents don't want me back home for a few days."
"yeah, it'd make me feel better too."
you could ask to stay forever, and he'd still say yes, really.
punching your parents' heads in until it caved would also make him feel better, but sanzu knew you were the last person to wish that on anyone, let alone your parents. he can't understand why you're so kind and merciful to them when they couldn't show the same to you.
he heard you sigh, and the tension in your body left you. you were left limp in his arms, and he stood still as your support. physically and emotionally.
"thank you... love you so much."
"... love you more."
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being izana's s/o includes...
he knew from the moment he met you.
the small flinches when someone called you, when anyone got close to you, when a person would tap your shoulder or initiate any physical contact with you. you were just a ball of nerves and panic attacks when he met you, and it was almost pitiful.
but izana didn't pity you. he didn't experience the pain you were feeling, and for about a year, he didn't care about you at all. sure, you'd pop up his mind once in a while, but he brushed it off and thought you'd be fine.
it wasn't until he found you unconscious in a playground, slumped on the park bench with a duffle bag of clothes and toiletries. you were kicked out of the house, evidently beaten to a pulp.
he really didn't think it was your parents who did this to you. would there ever be a parent who beat their child nearly black and blue? was there a parent who's child was so bad they starved them? was there ever a parent who hated their child so much that they kicked their child out in the middle of winter?
izana almost didn't want to believe it, but all the proof was there in front of him.
when you woke up in izana's apartment, you acted unnaturally calm and not quite awake. you looked sickly and frail. izana thought you could easily be passed off as a lump of skin and bones.
he gave you an offer that night.
you would be loyal to him and him only by being his lover, and he will offer you protection. izana figured that if he treated you well enough, he could use you as a potential puppet for one of his plans. well, kisaki's plans, but plans nonetheless.
and things were going well for a month and half, until izana found himself thinking about you more often. how you were doing, if you were safe, if you had eaten, if your friends at school were treating you okay, and all the thoughts and questions that never showed up before. he had fallen for you harder than he realized when he saw you shuffling around in his kitchen preparing dinner.
the two of you had your first kiss that night.
that was four months ago, and you hadn't returned home since the day izana found you unconscious on the park bench. he'd lightly tease you about it sometimes, but otherwise didn't talk about it. he was perfectly fine with you staying in his home if you were safe, and he could certainly get used to your cooking.
after settling an actual, solid relationship with you, izana had one or two of his men escort you to and from school whenever he couldn't. so it came to him as a shock when he receives a call from kakucho, saying that their men had taken you to tenjiku's base.
when he got there, you were evidently battered and bruised. your face was bloody, your body was bruised with large circles of blue, and you were knocked out cold. after a length explanation of how you ended up in this state, izana wishes he had gone with you today.
your father had gone to your school grounds and had beaten you a pulp until the school staff pulled him off you. he said something about how ungrateful you were and how you should've never been born. izana's men also added that they rushed into get you under the guise of being your friends.
after ushering you to the hospital and making sure your parents wouldn't be hearing about your condition, izana order the four heavenly kings to get to the hospital without their uniform. the hospital staff would easily catch onto their occupation as delinquents if they did.
there, izana ordered them to find your parents' address and demand revenge on them for the things they've done to you. it was only fair that they receive a taste of their medicine, since you were attached to wires and had a tube down your throat because of them.
izana doesn't think he's seen anyone in a more pitiful state, but there was no pity from him. he felt empty, like you were his heart and soul, and now you were barely there.
it takes you a few days to wake up again, and izana is right there to comfort you and make sure you were okay.
"... you gave me quite the scare, mahal..."
"... sorry."
"no, don't be sorry. you never asked for this to happen. no one would've thought your father would go after you like that. it's not your fault."
you nod quietly, holding onto his hand and letting him press long kisses on yours.
it was evident that he was rather shaken up from what happened too.
"are... you okay, izana?"
the boy nearly laughed at the irony of his situation. his girlfriend nearly got beaten to death by her father, but the first thing she asks is if he's okay.
"i am now. you're with me... safe and sound."
it takes a long time before izana let's you leave the house without him, even after your parents were beaten up by the heavenly kings and ended up in a different hospital for their coma. there was no one left to hurt you, but izana didn't feel safe without you at his side.
as long as you were with him, he'll be fine.
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vixensbrainrotts · 3 months
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Same old, same old — Sanzu Haruchiyo
Content: Angst to fluff
Tropes: bonten! Sanzu
Warnings: drugs and their aftermath, needles, cursing, (slight) description of wounds, crying, yelling
Summary: Can you really handle this again? Should you really handle this again?
Vixen's two cents: I have strayed from my typical hyper fluff for this one and I dont know how to feel about it, please let me know. I thought shortly about making this super angsty (I had a different ending in mind) so lmk if you'd like to see the 'bad' ending to this too! Im still looking for moots so please message me, I promise im not so scary. Also, REQUESTS ARE OPEN if you have any ideas for me! now enjoy...
When Sanzu comes into your shared high-top flat, he‘s loud. He stumbles over his own feet, curses loudly when his Jacket won’t come off his arms, and runs into the door that stands half-open to the kitchen- livingroom. You’re sitting at the kitchen island when he comes to you, and something about his entrance and the way his pace is erratic and a tad too fast to seem relaxed makes you a little wary. Something is off, you can feel it radiating off of him.
„Hey, you alright?“ you ask innocently enough, trying to look into his eyes but he won’t return your gaze. Instead he just reaches down into the lining of his suit and pulls out a slim packet, slamming it onto the marble in front of you before going past you. „I don’t want to talk about it.“ he hisses as he heads towards the master bedroom.
You‘re confused, and you try to call out after him but he doesn’t respond, so instead you shift your eyes to the item Sanzu had placed before you. It’s a small, dark grey opaque plastic baggy, and it seems to whisper to you in intrigue. You reach for it, carefully peeling back one layer of the tight wraps.
What greets you inside isnt shocking, but disappointing.
Three small syringes, all slim, and notably empty, glint in the lighting, sharp tips sparkling with a metallic, glitter like shine. You sharply inhale, covering the tips with the plastic again to hide them from view. Clutching the packet tightly you stand to rush after Sanzu, who you assume is now in the bedroom.
„Haru?“ you hate the way your voice breaks. You’re supposed to be the strong one, the one who can handle these types of situations. „Haru!“ you call out to him again when you see him disappear into the bathroom, lock clicking when the door falls shut behind him. You lay your hand on the door to the bathroom with the hand thats holding the packet, and the noise the syringes make when they clink against the door makes you cringe. „Open the door baby, please. I promise im not mad at you or anything but please just open the door!” You cry out to him, softly rapping against the door with your hand.
In response you hear him yell “Go away”, and his voice is hoarse- he’s crying - he’s ashamed. Sighing, you cradle your head in your hands, thinking that maybe you can talk him out of it, but you hear the tap of the tub start running- probably to drown you out. “Haru baby we can talk about this, please turn off the water and open the door.” You try to reach him again but it’s useless.
“Go away y/n!” He roars and you can hear him start to strip, clothes being pulled and thrown into the floor. “I’m not leaving you alone Haru! Not when you’re like this!” You pound on the door this time, expressing your urgency to him clearly. On the other side of the door the haste ends, a sniffle reaching your ears over the noise of the running water.
“And I can let you see me like this!” His voice is smaller, weaker than you have ever heard him, and it breaks you. “I’ve seen you at worse baby, and you and I both know it’s better if you’d let me in.”
There are a few paces of relative silence, only the rush of water marking the passing of time. Then you hear another wet sniffle and a sigh, and you hear him slowly coming towards the door, and you step back a little.
Your grip tightens around the packet still in your hands when you hear the lock click open, and you swore you felt yourself go lightheaded for a second out of relief when the door finally opened.
Sanzu reveals himself, and he looks like a mess and a half. Eyes red, from crying and the drugs alike, hair falling and jutting out in messy strands from where it sat in the short pony, shirtless, and as you let your eyes drift down his exposed skin, you saw the hitches. His elbows were bloody and bruised from the injections, and tiny little veins raked the surfaces nearby.
His dress shirt lay bundled up in a forgotten heap on the floor not too far from the bathtub. The water was still running and it was annoying you. With a sigh you reached your empty hand up to him, cursing yourself when he flinched back a little.
You looked at his eyes, but he wouldn't return the gaze. Disappointed, you took the step forward on your own, laying your hand on his chest and pushing him into the bathroom, allowing yourself entry. Your hand traced down his arm, and when it reached his hand, you held it tightly, turning to face him when you walked past him, and puling him along further into the room.
You tugged him to the closed toilet seat, half-forcing him to sit before you, and he let you, slumping down onto the porcelain weakly. You turned shortly, wanting to go and turn off the still-open faucet, but a weak grip held you back.
Turning to look at Sanzu, you heard him mumble something, but the noise was shrouded by the running water. "What was that, love?"
"Dont let go." his voice was frail as he croaked it weakly, and your heart broke a little.
Sighing, you leaned your body towards the tub, reaching the tap and shutting it off, careful not to accidentally let his hand slip from yours. Once done, you straightened yourself and faced him again, walking over to stand between his legs.
"Baby?" he said, eyes only half open, "are you-" his voice got caught in his throat, but you knew what he wanted to ask.
are you mad at me?
are you disappointed?
are you leaving me?
are you out of your mind for staying with me after I've gone to rehab twice and relapsed again, and again, and again?
are you sending me back to rehab?
A million questions lie unanswered between the two of you, and you choose to leave it that way as you guide his hand to rest on your waist, laying your own hands on his shoulders. You look into his tired eyes for a moment before pulling him forward to rest his head on your stomach.
Tracing his back and shoulders, you trail your hands up the back of his neck, scratching the nape a little before traveling up to the ponytail, pulling the holder out of his hair, and letting it fall open. You rake your hands through the sweaty strands, not caring about the grease.
You lean down to press a kiss against his head, hands now holding his jaw and you turn him to face you. "Im here for you, ok? I dont care what happens, I have your back. Always." you press another kiss to his forehead. "Through thick and thin, through good and bad." You kiss his jaw. "I love you baby, and nothing is going to stop me from loving you, not even yourself." Your fingers trace his cheekbones and lay your forehead on his, letting your eyes close.
"Allow me to love you all the way, please. Don't try and run when things get hard like this again, it's not good for either of us." you whisper, and you feel his breath hitch against your face.
His fingers curl around your waist, and you let him breath into you, and when you hear a weak whimper you straighten yourself again, pulling him into you again, letting him cry as you hold his head.
Looking at the wall you count the tiles. Blankly you hold your lovers head and think.
things will get better. things are better.
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wuanshii · 2 years
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"Oh, he wished" | 2
Part one - oh, he wished
Highlights; Amidst the confusion of sudden disappearence of his wife, Haru now finally stumbles upon a very concerning truth.
( Sanzu x f! reader )
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The man was beyond miserable. He was beyond help.
2 months after the disappearance of his wife, and he's still looking for her. Heart filled with nothing but the vast flood of regret, eyes pooled with nothing but tears, by holding a few hallucinating pills, the man awaits you.
'You can't do this to me God! It's...t-that's unfair! I am a man with a mouth and you know that, I was only speaking out of frustration and you know that shit! You know God, You know I have issues!' inside the chilly, a little dark church, Sanzu yelled.
And by slamming the alcohol bottle down on the floor, he wept to himself, steadily making his way towards the Jesus statue with his legs trembling.
He knelt, to hold the feet of the God himself, and with his head pressed against the cold statue's feet, he spoke with no control over the amount of tears falling off of his eyes.
" Please....P-Please Lord, I know it's your doing. This is...ridiculously supernatural, it can only be you, no? Please... give me my Y/n back,"
'No no, let me iron your shirt. Go get fresh'
A sweet memory of you helping him slid across his mind. And more, more kept coming to haunt him real good.
'Huh? What would I name our child?....Umm.........I'm not good at names you see, so I'd give that privilege to you~'
"We had plans. I-I even picked a name for them...Heh, Saan. For son. And...I was...planning on thinking of the daughter's, with Y/n. I wonder...what she would name her."
'Welcome home, honey~'
"I miss her welcoming me. I was wrong...without her, w-without...her, this doesn't feel like....home."
'Haru, dinner's ready!'
"What's even a dinner if it's not made by her hands?"
'Haru, don't talk to me.'
"What's even fun, if...I don't get to bicker with my wife. In a silly way. Heh... she's so grumpy. My wife... grumpy..."
'Haru, I'm watching my show! Not now!'
"What's sex, when it's not her. When it's not me knowingly interrupting her series, and convincing her to bed with puppy eyes.."
'Haru, I love you.'
"What's even love, if it's not the woman I love."
Remembering every, literally every memory of you in his mind, Haru kept smiling and weeping to himself while still holding the God's feet.
"You are cruel. Beyond cruel. Snatching my woman away from me, what did you gain? Eh? God? What did you gain BY TAKING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME!"
Furiously, he stood and pushed the statue to the side. Making it fall and shatter into several pieces. You can stay assured because your man is ready to fight the God. He is ready to bloody kill the God if needed. For you.
"I'm sorry.....p-please....Give me my Y/n back..." he muttered,
9:32 AM
Today too, 6 days of not going to work, he woke up late as usual.
And as always, his hand made its way to hug you on your side of the bed. But the thing is, you aren't there.
"I'm...so silly."
That's when he decides to go grocery shopping. But he wish he never did.
"Y/n?" widening his eyes, he dropped the groceries and immediately rushed towards you.
"Excuse me, stop touching me like this! Who are you!?" and you wailed,
"It's you, it really is you...Y/n, i-it's...It's me! Sanzu! Why are you acting this way?"
"Hey big guy, leave her arm." and your husband came in between, to push him away from you.
"R..an? What does this...mean?" Sanzu frowned,
And his eyes finally noticed something. You were pregnant. Hiding behind Ran, holding his arm real tight.
"....Y/n?"
"Get off before it gets worse for you, whoever you are." Ran replied, holding the basket.
"Did you...fucking cheat on me? So...you never really disappeared. You...with my friend? Heh...Ran? Are you two, serious?"
"Do we know you? Don't cause any commotion here, because I'm sure it's our first time seeing you around." you interrupted,
"She's my wife of 4 years and we have a toddler as well. I don't get where the 'cheat' comes from, but you better watch your mouth. This is my woman," Ran threatened.
And Sanzu chose violence, by ignoring the fact that his wish came true, and Y/n never really was his wife from that one morning when he woke up.
And after that encounter, Sanzu was never the same.
"I will.....kill myself," his will to live had long died.
And by using his hands, he tried to strangle himself to death. Choking his own throat with every intention to kill himself. To leave, to never see you with Ran again.
"Haru," your voice echoed through his ears,
"HARU," again,
"Don't call me, don't call me by my name Y/n. Get my name out of your fucking lips, Y/n, I hate you." he smiled, face so red from the suffocation.
"Haru, stop. The hell are you doing!?" and this time, you yelled.
"Like I said, heh...get my name. out. your. fucking. mouth." he smiled so wide,
"Bitch stop choking yourself!" and the moment you splashed a few drops of water in his eyes, yeah the guy fluttered his eyes open.
And saw himself, in a hospital. With medical pieces of equipment surrounding him, with his wife holding the glass of water and standing righy beside him.
"Huh.... Y/n?" he narrowed his eyes at you,
"What the fuck, why did you began choking yourself??" and you yelled with utmost worry.
"....Are you...my wife?"
And you called the doctor in.
"It isn't impossible. Him losing his memories after an overdose, it all depends on the strength of the drugs he took and his mentality."
"Haru, do you remember me?" holding his hand, you asked.
"Y/n, what happened? Why am I...here?"
"Do you remember me, or not?"
"You're....Ran's wife."
He was afraid because Ran had given him a good response to when the violence was done last time and he definitely don't want to face that again.
"Doctor....there's something wrong with my husband," with tears almost pricking down your eyes, you rushed towards the Doc.
When Haru realized that it was all the cause of the drugs to which he called 'heaven', overdosing messed his mind up. And all this time, he was dreaming.
"Damn, I'll never fucking take drugs in my life again. EVER."
The End.
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buccini555 · 6 months
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𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲
★ You found out you were pregnant, but were afraid to tell them, but they ended up finding out
★ H e a d c a n o n s !
★ 𝑭𝒕. Manjiro Sano, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Kakucho Hitto, Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Kokonoi Hajime and Takeomi Akashi
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tw: unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, bad words, abandonment, a little angst but a lot of fluff
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𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨
Manjiro began to notice the change in your behavior, having the impression that you were hiding something, he knew, at that point he was almost sure that you were expecting his baby.
"Don't lie to me..." He held you, making you completely vulnerable, tears came down his face, Manjiro was really scaring you.
"M-manjiro, stop, please..." You just closed your eyes, expecting the worst and fearing for your son's life, but, unexpectedly, Manjiro let you go, giving you a hug full of affection, you remained silent, watching him place his hand on your belly.
"A-are you... pregnant?" Your heart beat faster, a feeling of despair took over you, but it was too late. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry but, it's true, I-I'm expecting your baby." Silence took over the room, being broken by Manjiro's inconsolable crying.
"Thanks." He said through tears. "Please take our baby away from me, I don't want to hurt you..." That was the last thing you heard from Manjiro before he told you to leave.
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𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨
You tried to hide all the symptoms so that Haruchiyo wouldn't notice, until the day you were having dinner together and you felt sick, as soon as you got up and went to the bathroom because of nausea, at that moment he already knew that you were pregnant.
"Love? are you ok?" He walked into the bathroom, seeing you sitting on the floor crying.
"Be honest with me... You're pregnant, aren't you?" Haruchiyo said as he helped you get up, your crying only intensified at that moment, confirming Sanzu's question, he remained silent, looking at you and stroking your face, it was definitely not the reaction you expected from him.
"Were you scared to tell me? I-I'm so sorry." Sanzu hugged you, then he walked away and at that moment you expected the worst possible reaction.
"I'm really angry that you're making your mother sick, we have to take care of her together, do you hear your father?" He said hugging and placing a small kiss on your belly, giving a smile of relief from you, later getting up and giving you a long kiss.
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𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨
Kakucho was always very attentive to you, for that reason, it didn't take long for him to suspect that you were pregnant, his doubts were only confirmed the day you ended up in the hospital because of a faint.
As soon as he found out about your hospitalization, he went to visit you, but as soon as he arrived in the room you were in, he saw you doing an ultrasound and listening to your baby's heart, as soon as you noticed his presence, your heart accelerated, Kakucho was standing at that door crying with a smile on his face, he went into denial for a moment, his emotion upon hearing your baby was so great that he couldn't even contain himself.
"Y-you're really pregnant, our baby is so small, so fragile... We're going to have a baby, I can't believe it!" He approached you, holding your hand and telling you through tears, he was shaking and couldn't even look away from the image of the baby.
"That was the best gift you could have given me, thank you darling! Now you're no longer the only love of my life." He kissed your hand, his reaction left you completely in love, you were sure at that moment that despite everything, you chose the right father for your baby.
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𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Rindou and you were in the room listening to some songs together when you started to feel sick, as much as you were trying to hide your pregnancy, Rindou had already noticed at that moment.
"Shit, aren't you going to tell me you got pregnant?" He said in a serious tone, looking directly at you, you looked at him scared, but you would have to tell the truth. "I'm sorry Rin..." You just confirmed his question, Rindou was completely shaken by the news and you could only hope for the worst.
"I'm not going to be a good father..." He said in a low tone, shaking his head in denial and trying to hide how disappointed he was. "I'm sure you'll be a great father, Rin." Everything suddenly became silent, almost as if time had stopped, Rindou hugged you, then placed his hand on your belly and caressed you with a smile on his face.
"I'll do my best for you, you and this little one boy... Or little one girl! Ran will love knowing he's going to be an uncle."
𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Ran You definitely won't find out about your pregnancy that easily, but as soon as he saw you feeling sick in front of him, something in his intuition made him realize your pregnancy.
Holding your hair as you finished throwing up, he couldn't help but ask you.
"You are pregnant?" He asked the question with a worried expression, seeing you feeling sick and thinking about the fact that you were carrying that weight alone made him completely sensitive, fearing for Ran's reaction, you just nodded your head.
"You should have told me earlier!" He shouted at you, making you even more scared.
"Forgive me... I didn't mean to yell at you." Ran hugged you, being careful in his embrace, he was already getting used to the presence of your baby, knowing that he would have to change his behavior for you.
"...My angel, my girlfriend and future wife, you made me a complete man!" He said, still hugging you, Ran proposed to you at that same moment and promised himself that regardless of anything, he would be the best father your baby could have. "Rindou is going to spoil this child so much..." Ran said with a smile on his face.
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𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞
Kokonoi had already made it very clear previously that he did not intend to have children, hiding the pregnancy from him would definitely not be a good idea as it didn't take him long to realize it.
"Do you have something to tell me?" He would ask you, already knowing the answer, Kokonoi didn't want to believe that that had happened.
"N-no." You said, trying to deny the obvious, but he interrupted you.
"You are pregnant." Koko stated, taking a long sigh and shaking his head in denial, you expected the worst possible reaction, but the tallest just burst into tears, soon going to hug you.
"I would never, ever deny our baby, I love you and I will love this baby, in fact, I already love him... or she? I don't know!" He said, or at least tried to say in the midst of so much emotion, he hugged you tightly, you just felt how much he was shaking, Koko was scared and just feared he wouldn't be a good father to your son. "I will take care of you, I will protect you! You are my most precious one, you and our baby."
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𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢
Takeomi already knew about your pregnancy, he paid close attention to your behavior and it didn't take long to notice the changes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Where were you thinking when you chose to hide your pregnancy from me?" Takeomi said placing you against the wall and holding your face aggressively, at that moment you could only cry, fearing for your baby's life.
"You were just another slut, you should have thought about that before showing up pregnant." He said, releasing you, despite all that violence, Takeomi was honestly moved by the fact that you were expecting his baby.
"... I'm so sorry." Takeomi looked at you, helping you sit down and sitting in front of you.
"I won't be able to move on with my life knowing that I left a child behind, so I will take care of you and these children, but know that I'm not happy at all with this mistake I made." He got up and left.
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mitsuyeaah · 11 months
Text
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
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SANZU HARUCHIYO x f! reader
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“said he got a lot of cash, darling, he can’t buy my love. it’s you i’m dreaming of.”
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cw: chauffeur! sanzu, ex-delinquent! sanzu, wealthy! reader, m! OC (briefly), modern au, age gap (haru is 27 & reader is 23), slight mutual pining, angst, fluff, smut mdni (intoxicated consensual sex), nsfw, virginity loss, forbidden love, swearing, mention of scars, mention of drugs, use of weed, pet names (princess, baby, pretty girl), lazily proofread (sorry in advance).
word count: 13.8k i'm so sorry
a/n: here's a little treat before my break ends! hope you guys enjoy! also, i don’t know when i’ll write something long again but we shall see :") © divider: animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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The smell of expensive leather mixed with the cologne your chauffeur wore filled your lungs as you sank back into the plush leather of the backseat of your vehicle. The lights outside dimly lit the quiet car, you stared out the window, observing the tall buildings that almost touched the clouds and billboards that surrounded the bustling city.
People were out and about, some dressed up–for what you presumed to be for the club–getting ready to start the night, some were hastily walking out of their work buildings, their IDs swaying around their neck with every step they took. You would never know what it felt like to spend your Friday night dressing up for the club, instead, you related more to the latter group of people. 
It was another stressful day at work, meetings followed after one another. It also didn’t help that more projects were handed over to you because you were ‘going to be the next successor of this company’ as per your father’s words. You let out a sigh and rested your head on the head rest, closing your eyes and letting the music and soft hum of the car engulf you.
“Sanzu?” you broke the comfortable silence, your chauffeur briefly looked at you from the rear mirror before focusing back on the road ahead of him, your eyes were still closed, “Yes, Miss?” he quietly replied.
“I don’t want to go home yet…” you muttered, placing an arm over your eyes, as if it would somehow erase all your problems. He nodded, even though you couldn’t see him and replied, “Understood.” Sanzu knew what you meant by that, he’s only been your chauffeur for 3 months, but he’s memorized every single one of your demands, no matter how vague they are.
In this case, you wanted to drop by a specific park where you spent most of your childhood playing. He knew that you went there every single time you were stressed or upset about something, Sanzu knew because he’s been driving you to this park countless times in a span of 3 months, and those times, you were always either stressed or upset.
He muttered a silent ‘we’re here’ as he turned off the engine, Sanzu held onto the wheel with his left hand and slightly turned his body to face you. You removed your arm from your eyes and let out a soft sigh as you stepped out of the vehicle, you were met with the crisp winter evening air, slightly shivering as it made contact with your warm skin.
You made your way over to the wooden bench you always sat on, it overlooked the grassy fields and the now leafless trees surrounding the place. Sanzu followed you wordlessly, at this point, he already knew what to do and it was basically routine for him.
You didn’t mind having your chauffeur by your side as you mulled over your thoughts, in fact, it was your initial idea to have him sit with you.
You didn’t expect anything from him but his mere presence, and he also didn’t mind sitting there, there was no awkward tension at all. After all, you’ve done this so many times in the past. Sanzu sat next to you, leaving an appropriate space in between and neatly folding his arms on his lap.
You turned your head to the older man next to you and furrowed your brows, “I told you, you don’t have to wear that when you’re with me… which is basically almost twenty-four seven, so you don’t have to wear it at all.”
He was wearing that stupid black mask again, which covered any facial features lower than his turquoise eyes.
You studied him, your eyes tracing his side profile. Sanzu wore his long pink hair in a ponytail, shorter loose strands framing the left side of his face, he also sported one black hoop earring in each ear but you knew he had more piercings than that, something you’ve grown fond of.
The way the warm streetlight illuminated his profile warmed something in your chest, and the way his turquoise eyes turned a shade warmer..
“Your father saw me without it… you can guess what happened next.” Sanzu shrugged, looking over at you, his facial muscles flexing under his mask—you presumed he was smiling under it but not a genuine one, it didn’t reach his eyes.
The reason for the black mask that sat on Sanzu’s face was unnecessary. It was enforced by your father that he had to wear it at all times as Sanzu possessed scars on either corner of his lips, almost in the shape of a diamond.
Your father was strict when it came to the company’s reputation, and apparently strict enough to ask your personal driver to cover his scarred face, though you thought it was purely not needed as Sanzu was just a chauffeur.
You also didn’t like the way your father asked Sanzu to minimize his earrings down to one jewelry per ear, again, completely unnecessary.
If you were being honest, your father was never fond of Sanzu and did not even have intentions of hiring him as your personal driver.
Your father only hired Sanzu because you insisted you liked him the most out of all potential chauffeur candidates, despite the man not having past experience for the job at hand but you didn’t care, the job required was to just drive anyway.
Sanzu explained during his interview for this job that he’s an ex-delinquent–another reason why your father did not like Sanzu–but has changed his ways and is now trying to live a better life, a normal one at that.
His reasoning moved you in some way, you felt the genuinity in his words which indicated that he was serious about this new path he’s taking, Sanzu was also a bit hesitant to discuss this during the interview as he felt like it was too late for him to do so since he was already twenty-seven years old–four years older than you–but you reassured him during the interview that it was never too late to change to a better path.
Sanzu has been nothing but a polite individual, he was not a man of too many words and often opted to just listen, even if it was just the both of you. Sometimes you wonder what runs through his mind.
“Well, my father is not here, so you can take it off. And I’ll tell him to lay off about that damn mask, I don’t like it on you.” you scoffed, already not liking the idea of your father scolding Sanzu for not wearing his mask.
The older man nodded and hesitantly brought his hands up to either side of his face to unhook the mask from his pierced ears. A small shiver ran down Sanzu’s back as the cold air kissed the hot skin that had been confined under the suffocating mask.
All while he was doing this, a small smile dawned upon your face, he was breathtaking.
“You know, I don’t really mind wearing a mask… it makes people stare less at my face.” Sanzu’s gaze dropped down to his hands as he neatly folded the mask and pocketed it.
He wasn’t going to lie, he liked the feeling of breathing air without a piece of cloth confining his nose and mouth but he just felt more vulnerable without it, especially when strangers didn’t bother to hide their disgust when staring.
Conversely, the mask lessened the attention on him, and he felt less vulnerable with the way it covered his emotions.
Upon hearing this, you frowned. You didn’t like the way Sanzu got so comfortable with hiding himself from the world because of the nasty stares he got from just being himself.
There was literally nothing to cover, Sanzu was just as beautiful with or without his scars, and they definitely don’t define him. Something people needed to keep in mind. You refrained from complimenting him out loud because it would be a bit awkward as you two weren’t that close, yet.
“But I don’t mind and I think that’s the only opinion that matters because I hired you, and you work for me. So, fuck everyone else, they’re just projecting their insecurities.”
You never really knew how Sanzu got his scars and you didn’t want to ask since he was clearly insecure about them but you presumed he got it from his delinquent days. Just a mere guess though.
Sanzu chuckled at your reply, he thought you were cute but still very naïve. He gave you a smile, a genuine one, “Technically, your father hired me.” you playfully shook your head at him, muttering ‘that’s basically the same thing’ under your breath.
The two of you spent an hour or so like this, a friendly banter occurring back and forth at times. It definitely de-stressed you a lot, which you were thankful for Sanzu for the most part, as he was the only one listening to your endless rants about your personal life and job.
“You wanna know why I wanted to come here tonight?” you dryly chuckled, your gaze shifting down to your hands as you fiddled with your fingers and picked at your skin. Sanzu noticed that it was a habit of yours to do that every time you had something in your mind that bothered you. He also stared at your hands, “Why?”
It took you about a full minute to answer before letting out a heavy sigh and finally looking back at him, fingers still picking at your skin, “It’s my birthday today.” you forced a smile.
Sanzu barely showed any emotions but he was visibly shocked at this, his brows shooting upwards, eyes widening and his scarred mouth slightly parting.
Genuine shock soon turned into confusion, brows furrowing as he asked you, “Why aren’t you spending time with your family? I’m sure they’d organized something for you.”
Sanzu genuinely believed this. Your family was wealthy so it confused him as to why your parents wouldn’t plan something extravagant on your 23rd birthday, like what other rich people did.
You were a child of a very wealthy man who owned one of the biggest marketing firms in the country, so it confused him a bit.
You shook your head and let out another sigh as you threw your head back and looked up at the vast sky above, “Nah… I grew up spending my birthdays alone. I would always come home to the same thing every year, a big bouquet of flowers, stacks of presents and a tiered cake. It was nice at first but I got tired of it… I never once spent my birthday with them after the age of 5.” you replied, still looking up at the stars.
Your parents were the type of people to think they could keep you happy by giving you whatever you wanted, and it did, for only a short period of time. But what you really wanted was some quality time and their undivided attention, they were always so caught up on work that they forgot about their only child.
Guess they did not, in fact, give you whatever you wanted.
Sanzu truly felt sorry for you, he’s definitely got a gist of how your family functions with only 3 months of working for you, both your parents were work-driven and managed to prioritize the company before their child’s own needs.
He felt kind of bad for assuming you were just another spoiled wealthy kid when he first started his job. Sanzu had picked you up from your family-owned company one night, a big bouquet of red roses sitting in the back seat, its scent filling the car.
Your father had apparently gotten you the roses as a congratulatory gift for being promoted, at least that’s what he told Sanzu.
He remembered how you stepped into the car and didn’t even bat an eye at the expensive gift, Sanzu looked at you through the rear-view mirror as you read the handwritten letter attached on the bouquet–presuming it was written by your father–you simply just sighed and tossed it back to the general direction of the roses.
He was a bit taken back by your behaviour but remained silent as he backed out of the parking space and into the busy streets.
Now, he understood why you acted that way that night. You were just so used to your parents giving you all these gifts that it lost all its monetary value, no matter how expensive they were.
Sanzu knew that what you truly sought out was some quality time from your parents, you didn’t need expensive gifts, you needed their love and attention just like any other kid growing up.
Even though the two of you lived very different lives, he was somewhat relating to your situation. Growing up, he never had proper parental figures, god, he didn’t even know them that much as his parents were barely home and probably fucked around with drugs, which left him and his siblings to fend for themselves.
Unlike you, he had two siblings, an older brother and a younger sister. His older brother was no different, he focused more on their younger sister which isolated Sanzu a lot but he did have his younger sister, although their relationship wasn’t the very best.
“I’m sorry. Happy Birthday.” was all Sanzu could reply, his gaze softened as he stared at your side profile, you were still admiring the stars.
You chuckled and finally looked at him and held his aquamarine gaze, “You don’t have to be, it’s not your fault… and thank you.” Sanzu’s chest warmed as he saw a glint of happiness in your eyes, he swore you were about to cry but blinked away the tears threatening to form.
You didn’t know why but his greeting genuinely made you happy, “You must think I’m so lame, I only have my chauffeur to rant to.” you scoffed and looked away once again, this time scanning the tree lines ahead of you.
He didn’t think you were lame, you were quite the opposite. Sanzu understood the demands your parents asked from you–with the amount of times you’ve ranted to him–and figured you didn’t live a very memorable childhood despite being surrounded by endless wealth.
You were only in your early twenties but he felt you were much more mature despite your young age, it was probably due to the fact that you had expectations to uphold and roles to fill.
“No. I think you’re okay.” this was the first time Sanzu has spoken more than ever for the past three months you’ve had him working for you, he was actually actively engaging in the conversation and not just the occasional nods and hums he gave when you ranted before, you appreciated this from him, more than he knew.
Your night was cut short when you remembered you had something early the next day, even though it was the weekend. Sanzu drove you back home and didn’t forget to greet you ‘happy birthday’ one last time before he hopped onto his motorcycle–that was parked inside the garage–and rode home.
You smiled to yourself like an idiot as you made your way inside your family estate, he made you happy, something not a lot of people can do.
As expected, you were met with your usual birthday presents, but this time you weren’t surrounded by maids and butlers. You stood in front of the dining hall, the long mahogany table stretching from one end to another filled with meals you get more than usual on your birthday.
The chairs were also occupied by your parents and three other guests you didn’t know, this surprised you as you’ve spent countless birthdays sitting on one end of the table, alone and no one to talk to but the maids and butlers that stood by if you needed anything. At least they were always nice enough to sing you a ‘happy birthday��� to lighten the damp mood.
You furrowed your brows at the three unknown guests, the last thing you expected was your parents actually showing up for your birthday and bringing in unknown guests to dine with.
Sure, the estate was often filled with unknown guests which you assumed were close business partners of your father and the company but you never had to dine with them.
The unknown older man sat on the other end of the table, opposite your father, whereas the older woman–probably his wife–sat across from your mother, both were around the age of your parents, and the last person was a young man probably around your age as well but you didn’t recognize him.
“Happy Birthday! We’ve been waiting for you, come and have a seat!” your father greeted you from one end of the table, a saccharine smile forming upon his lips.
You hesitantly made your way over to the only empty seat–which was across from the young man you have yet to be introduced to–and muttered a small ‘thank you’.
The young man opposite you gave you a shy smile before taking a sip of his red wine. “I want you to meet one of our most trusted business partners, the FJ group, and this is their son Heizo Fujio.” your father indicated the young man opposite you, you politely greeted them.
You’ve heard of the FJ group before, they were one of the top selling retail companies in the country with an average revenue sitting in the billions area and their brands always successfully making profit.
You could finally put a face to the owner of the FJ group but it wasn’t like you were desperate to do so. The young man–Heizo–gave you another smile upon his introduction, politely jutting his arm across the table and in front of you, you didn’t hesitate to shake his hand and return his smile but you were still confused as to why they were here.
As if on cue, your father spoke up once again with delight in his eyes, something inside you didn’t like that look in his eyes, not anticipating what was coming next.
“Mr. Fujio and I have been discussing you and Heizo… and we were thinking since both of you are our next successors, it would be in our best interest for you two to personally know each other, with marriage in mind. We have been business partners for so long and we feel like we’re ready to take it a step further.”
You didn’t know what to say.
You sat there frozen in your seat, the sound of your heart drumming rapidly against your chest engulfing you as your mind reeled. First of all, what the fuck? And second of all, I didn’t consent to this. That’s what you wanted to say but your parents raised you better than to disrespect the food on the table.
Your breathing became erratic as you could feel your limbs tingling, you wanted to do something but didn’t know what. You hated this feeling because it only came around when you knew you couldn’t do anything about the situation at hand. It was beyond your control.
Overreacting? Probably.
And yes, you haven’t met Heizo nor explored his personality and it also doesn’t mean that he might not turn out so bad but the idea of marriage was just… too soon.
You only just turned twenty-three today, you were still young and had a bright future ahead of you, and marriage was just something you haven’t thought of, especially since you’re always busy with the firm and practically have no time to get to know anyone.
Your eyes darted around the table, all of them seemed to be pleased about this news, especially Heizo. You felt like an outcast, it felt like someone had told an inside joke that they all knew except for you. Were you the only one thinking things are being rushed? Even your mother was nodding along.
Nothing came out as you opened your mouth, you thought of ways to counter this idea or at least let them re-think about the marriage. But there was nothing. Your mind went blank and you felt helpless. You didn’t know why but amidst the blankness of your mind, you swore you saw Sanzu.
Sanzu briefly glanced at you through the rear view mirror while he waited for the vehicle engine to warm up, you sat at the back seat and your beige trenchcoat wrapping around your body as you crossed your arms and looked outside the window.
He noticed your hair was styled in a ponytail, and you wore your signature diamond drop earrings that probably cost more than his life; from what he’s gathered, you only wore the pair during formal occasions.
“Heading to the firm today, right?” he asked.
You glanced over at your chauffeur, earrings swaying at every movement, he sported his usual white button up and black slacks but this time accompanied with a black bomber jacket due to the colder season.
A smile appeared upon your lips, seeing that he didn’t wear his mask, Sanzu noticed your smile. “Oh, I forgot to text you that my morning meeting for today has been rescheduled. I have a date with Heizo… so we’ll head over to FJ since they suggested we take one car.” He noticed the corners of your lips dropping as you replied.
Oh, so that’s what the earrings were for. You had a date. Sanzu thought.
This was the first time Sanzu had to drive you on a date, majority of the time he just drove you to and from work, with some other trips to leisure places like high-end stores where you came back with a shit ton of bags that housed varieties of luxury items.
You definitely had a keen eye for pretty things.
There was even one time where you asked him to accompany you to browse the autumn collection of a high-end clothing brand and he swore he’s never kept his hands to himself as much as he did inside the store, with the fear of accidentally damaging items worth more than his life.
Sanzu felt something odd in his chest at the thought of you going on a date with another man but he quickly brushed it off and nodded before he started typing the address of the FJ Group on the built-in screen of your vehicle.
The car ride was mainly silent but not uncomfortable. From time to time, he glanced over at you through the rear view mirror, your brows knitted together and occasionally letting out deep sighs that felt like there was something heavy behind it all, something that clouded your mind.
There was something bothering you but Sanzu didn’t want to pry.
He would never admit this to anyone else but it pained him whenever something bothered you, he knew the strict life you lived under the control of your parents and he knew the expectations you desperately tried to reach, and sometimes he would just wish that you had one genuine day where you were free from it all; the expectations, the stress, and the calculated future you had ahead of you.
But little did he know you were free from all that but only when you were with him.
Sanzu drummed his fingers on the leather steering wheel, nodding his head to the music while you both waited for Heizo; the car was parked–but still running–in the basement parking lot of the FJ Group firm.
He was eager to finally put a face to the name since it's been clouding his mind ever since you told him about it. Was he handsome? Well dressed? Was he good for you? These questions ran through Sanzu’s mind and he had to mentally stop himself from thinking about them as it didn’t even concern him. After all, he’s just a mere chauffeur, your chauffeur.
A fairly tall man exited the building which caught Sanzu’s turquoise gaze, he stopped drumming his fingers and focused on the man making his way towards your black Porsche.
Heizo was wearing a white button up paired with a navy blue vest and slacks, topping the outfit off with a black trench coat. Sanzu thought he looked absolutely charismatic despite being effortless, he felt a slight pang of jealousy. He didn’t know why.
Heizo enthusiastically greeted you as he entered the vehicle, his expensive musky cologne immediately filling up the car which made Sanzu almost gag at the smell, it overpowered your sweet scented perfume, the perfume you always wore and he’s grown to love.
The pink haired man silently watched as Heizo scooted all the way to the middle seat of the vehicle, leaving almost no room between the two of you, he also noticed the way you uncomfortably leaned closer towards the car door.
It was almost painful for Sanzu to hide his expression at Heizo’s brazenness, he could tell you two weren’t close with the way you shifted against the leather seat.
“We’re headed to The Black Pearl.” Heizo turned his attention to Sanzu.
Sanzu briefly looked back at the man next to you and nodded, but he didn’t miss the way Heizo’s gaze lingered at his scarred lips, a little too long for his liking. Sanzu also didn’t miss the way his face contorted ever so slightly with pure disgust before turning his attention back to you.
Sanzu cleared his throat and looked ahead of him, uncomfortably shifting in his seat before pulling out of the parking space.
It was already late in the afternoon and had just dropped off Heizo at their place. You watched as the man waved from the marble steps and hastily made his way inside their mansion.
Before Sanzu could drive off, you told him to wait and quickly got out of the back passenger seat, making your way over to the front passenger seat and sitting next to Sanzu.
He was taken aback by your bold move, his keen turquoise eyes watching you fasten your seatbelt.
“...You okay?” he asked as you made yourself comfortable against the expensive leather material of the seat. You met his aquamarine gaze and gave him a smile that shouldn’t have made him suck in a breath and his heart skip a beat, “I’m fine, just wanted to sit here.” you shrugged and looked out the window.
Sanzu stared at you for a couple more seconds, studying every single one of your features, you looked content. Definitely a contrast from your mood just a few minutes earlier when Heizo was still in the car.
Sanzu traced the outline of your pretty face and the way the corner of your lips were slightly upturned, like you were trying to hide a smile but failed to do so.
He inhaled a shallow breath as felt something inside him, something in his chest; he doesn’t know when he’s been feeling this sensation but it’s different, something he’s never felt before. It felt warm and comfortable, and he wanted to grasp every single bit of this feeling but something deep within tells him that it might be dangerous.
It wouldn’t hurt to test the waters, right? Test whatever he was feeling.
He gripped the steering in front of him and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the warmth was now spreading up his neck and to his cheeks and ears. Sanzu put the car on ‘drive’ and started driving before his mind could think of any other thoughts that would confuse him.
The date went okay.
That was the only word you could think of, nothing more, nothing less. You didn’t really expect much from Heizo but you also didn’t expect less from him.
You two just didn’t… click, all he talked about was how many successful projects he had launched, how he was the sole reason for having a higher percentage of sales than last year, and how— basically all the business talk.
Although, the only thing that stuck to you was that Heizo was the same age as you, not that it mattered.
You didn’t care about the business talk he brought upon the table, nor did you care about the fact that he–on your very first date–bought you expensive jewellery and from his words, which was ‘one of a kind’ as he had gotten it specifically catered to you. Whatever the fuck that meant.
You remember blankly staring at the necklace that rested inside a black velvet box, every single diamond twinkling under the restaurant lights.
You remember the proud look on Heizo’s face, like he had done something out of this world, like he thought he had already won your heart by merely buying you something expensive. Maybe it’s the thought that counts.
Just like my parents, you thought.
There was no genuine connection between you and him because you two clearly had different ideas in mind when thinking about what to talk about on a first date.
If you actually saw potential in Heizo and tried, you would have wanted to get to know him. You didn’t wanna know about what fantastic deals he’s closed, how much he contributed to the company sales, nor how much he spent on that necklace he got you.
You would’ve wanted to know about his interests and what he does in his free time to entertain himself.
In this world, you feel that people forget so much about the little things, the little things that matter. Nowadays everyone focuses solely on the monetary value and often forget that one of the foundations of love is attention, being attentive towards their partner and fulfilling their physical and mental needs with what they actually need.
People often mistaken that going for a materialistic approach will fulfil one’s needs but it doesn’t.
Sanzu had the urge to ask how your date went, he could feel the question building in his throat but had to quickly swallow it down because it did not concern him in any way. But it’s as if you read his mind, you broke the silence in the vehicle, “It was awful.” you scoffed.
“All he talked about were business-related things and was just basically flaunting his money. The audacity of him to think he’d be able to win me over by using his wealth… I mean like, not that he has a chance but you get what I mean, right?” You turned your head to the pink haired man, his aquamarine eyes focused on the road but you knew he was listening intently with the way he nodded his head and gave you a hum.
“Goodness, what a fool he is if he thinks he can buy my love.” 
“The last time I went on a date was when I was twenty and I kid you not, these men have not changed. Thinking that all the ladies would be impressed about being rich.” you continued your rant, Sanzu has never seen you this worked up over something, it amused him a bit and thought you were cute.
“Hm. Maybe because I’ve been looking in the wrong direction for a real man." he could feel your burning gaze on the side of his face and it took him all his willpower not to look back at you because he had to focus on the road.
But fuck, his heart was beating so fast. Last time his heart beat this fast was when he took unknown pills to try and forget everything.
All you wanted was someone different, like a breath of fresh air, someone genuinely interested in you and your personality. Yes, Heizo was wealthy and you both were in the same tax bracket but what is he underneath all that wealth? What kind of person would he be?
Later that night, after his job for the day was over, Sanzu went for a night drive with his motorcycle. He wanted to clear his head because all he could think of was you.
The way your lip gloss complemented your lips, the way your hair perfectly framed your face, the way your eyes twinkled every time— Fuck, this is unprofessional, he cursed himself.
How could he be thinking about you like that? You were so sweet and nice, and the sole reason why he got this job, so he couldn’t compromise his position by thinking this way.
But you were just so pure and so innocent that he wanted to ruin you, to ravage every single ounce of your innocence— “Fuck.” he whispered to himself as he sat on his still motorcycle. He wanted to smoke so bad but he knew better than getting high and riding back home.
As soon as you got home, you managed to convince your parents that you didn’t think things with Heizo were going to escalate further than being just business partners and to your surprise, they took it quite well, especially your father.
He even mentioned that maybe you two weren’t actually compatible from the beginning. This relieved you as you thought they would finally let the marriage idea go.
You thought wrong.
For the past few days, you finally knew why your parents were able to let that whole situation with Heizo go down the drain and it was because they found you new suitors.
Yes, plural. Apparently they had a whole list of your potential suitors and Heizo was just one of the many, this made you question your parents why they were so desperate to get you a husband. After all, you were only at the ripe age of twenty-three.
Just as you expected, it was for the future of the company. Like it always had been when it came to your life. Pursue a business degree, it’s for the sake of your future and the company, they told you and so you did. Focus on your studies and quit messing around, you’re the future of the company, they told you and so you did.
They reminded you countless times how you were the future and successor of the company that it almost became embedded in your brain, you had expectations to reach and roles to keep up with, but at the same time, your parents forgot that who they were pressuring was just a mere child.
They didn’t know the heavy weight you had to carry upon your back, practically sacrificing your mental and physical well being for the sake of the company. It also didn’t help how apathetic they were; they missed your birthdays, your university graduation ceremony, and most importantly they never gave you the love and attention you wanted.
Gifts were given to you in exchange for your parents’ absence.
Your whole schedule was practically cleared just to go on dates for your potential suitors and Sanzu was surprised when you told him about your current situation, and why he had to drive you everywhere but to your work.
It was yet another one of those days where you had just finished a date with another suitor, you were growing so damn tired of it, of everything. Every single one of these men–more like boys–were just what you expected.
No one stood out and no one bothered to make a genuine connection with you. You were met with all sorts of strategies and presents that were used to woo you but none of them worked because at the end of the day, they were all just the same, they only had wealth to brag about.
In between the dates you went on, you got closer to Sanzu, close enough that you were both now on a first name basis and you were even sitting more frequently beside him while he drove.
You also noticed how much he has opened up to you, he barely wore his mask and wouldn’t hesitate to give you hearty laughs whenever you tried to lighten the mood.
It didn’t even feel like he was your chauffeur but instead a friend. A friend who you could lean on, a friend who didn’t base you solely on your status, a friend who saw you for who you really were.
A friend who gave his undivided attention.
Although, the funny thing was that during your dates, your mind started to wonder what traits you were looking for in a partner because you clearly already knew what you didn’t want in a partner. During these, you would often find yourself comparing every single one of your suitors to a particular someone.
Haruchiyo.
Every time someone new came, your mind went back to Haruchiyo and thought about how they were nowhere near his personality that you’ve grown so fond of.
You looked for Haruchiyo Sanzu in every guy you went on a date with.
And at that moment, that was when you finally noticed your feelings that had been lingering and laying dormant deep in your heart. The dates you went on awakened your feelings for him.
You were in love with Haruchiyo.
You sat there, frozen while blankly staring at the road ahead of you as you came to the realisation that you loved him. You didn’t even know you were gripping the fabric of your pants until Haruchiyo asked if you were okay and pointed it out as he briefly glanced over your way and back to the road, “Hm? I’m fine…” you murmured.
Haru was the best person you could imagine to fall in love with but the situation was complicated. It was a risk and you never took risks, everything in your life was calculated and planned out for you. Besides, you didn’t even know if he even felt the same way.
“Have you ever been in love, Haru?” you leaned your head onto the headrest and turned your head to him, lips jutting out in a slight pout.
God, he liked it so much when you used his nickname, it did unexplainable things to him. Haruchiyo waited for the car to come to a complete stop at the lights before turning to you and holding your curious gaze.
It took him a few seconds to answer, like he was wracking his brain around to find the most suitable reply, “Hm… I guess I could say yes.” you nodded before dropping your gaze and looking out the window, how lucky she must be, you thought.
“What made you ask?” he questioned, returning his focus back on the road as the light turned green.
You shook your head, still looking out the window, “...Nothing. It’s just that I think— no, I am in love with a certain someone but it’s complicated.” you let out a huff and avoided looking back at the man that made your heart ache and skip a beat.
His brows shot up at your sudden confession, Haruchiyo gripped the steering wheel a little harder as he felt jealousy engulfing his body, “Oh? One of your suitors? Isn’t that good?” it pained him trying to force himself to sound like he cared. But he didn’t, he didn’t give a single fuck about it.
“No and no. That’s the thing… he’s not a suitor that my parents have picked out.” you covered your face with your palms, groaning into them. This feeling drove you crazy, you wanted Haruchiyo so bad, you yearned for him but didn’t know how to approach the situation.
Haruchiyo’s heart skipped a beat at this; there it was again, the warm feeling that spread throughout his body but this time he knew what it was.  There was this ounce of hope that kept him going, that you would see him as a man and not just someone who worked for you.
“Ah… then who is it?”
Haruchiyo did his best to remove all traces of desperation laced in his tone. He took deep breaths while waiting for your answer. He wanted to look at you so badly but he needed to focus on the road, he wanted to see your expression right this very moment.
You remained silent at his question but your mind was screaming for you to tell him how you truly felt. Your limbs were tingling, your heart was racing and your mind was going crazy; the confession was stuck in your throat but you couldn’t physically bring yourself to do it because you were scared to take the risk.
But at the same time, this was a risk for yourself. Your very own decision and not made by someone else.
Your fists clenched on your lap as you prepared yourself, your leg bounced with anxiety as tension grew, slowly filling the vehicle as his question remained unanswered. You bit your lip, desperate to tell Haruchiyo how you really felt about him.
Fuck it. was your last thought before opening your mouth to confess.
“It’s you. I’m in love with you Haru.”
Haruchiyo Sanzu almost fucking choked on his saliva. His brows shot up and mouth slowly parted at your sudden confession, he didn’t know what to say, his throat was suddenly dry. Haruchiyo felt like he was intoxicated, his legs and arms felt lighter, everything just felt so different.
Fuck, was the music always this loud? He thought. His mind raced as he played your confession over and over again, and without fail, it made his body warmer.
He was fucking ecstatic. You love him back. He wanted to just lean over across the console and kiss you so badly but he couldn’t, you were so close yet so far away from him.
“Fuck, princess, you can’t just confess like that while I’m in the middle of driving.” he let out a sharp breath followed by a breathy chuckle.
Before you knew it, Haruchiyo was already pulling into the garage, he swiftly parked the vehicle and turned it off before turning to you. Silence engulfed you both as you held each other’s stares, you swore your ears started to ring with how intense his gaze was.
You blinked, “D-do you feel the same way?” you broke the silence, studying Haruchiyo’s face, he was truly beautiful, the way his long pretty lashes complimented his turquoise eyes. He briefly closed his eyes and opened them again, nodding his head, “Is that even a question?”
A smile made its way to your lips and your eyes twinkled as you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes. “I really want to kiss you right now… but I’ve never kissed anyone and I don’t really know how…” you trailed off, avoiding his turquoise eyes as your cheeks warmed at your silly confession.
You stared at his lips, it was so tempting. Haruchiyo noticed you staring at his lips and thickly swallowed, normally he would start feeling uncomfortable if it were any other person that stared at his lips but it was different with you.
With you, he didn’t have to reel back and hide his biggest insecurity. Your gaze felt warm, there were no signs of disgust and judgement, only love.
“I can help you out… if you want.” Haruchiyo replied, his voice dropping an octave lower.
“Please, Haru?”
Haruchiyo swore under his breath as you begged for him. He wasted no time leaning over the console and reaching for you, placing a firm hand on the side of your neck as he desperately pulled you closer to him and sealing the gap between your lips.
His kisses were slow and sensual, it was your first time after all so he wanted you to feel all of him. Your lips perfectly moulded against each other, he was so warm and soft that you almost didn’t mind doing this all day.
You desperately clawed at the fabric of his chest, wanting more of Haruchiyo’s kisses. The ringing in your ears got louder as you kissed him longer, your legs felt weak even though you were sitting down, and your head spun. It felt so so good. The way your body reacted to his kisses was something you’ve never felt before.
Something within Haruchiyo stirred when you let out a whine as he started rubbing the side of your neck using the thumb of the hand that was firmly placed there. He’s barely even touched you properly and you were already whining for him? How cute. He’s going to absolutely ruin you.
Haruchiyo was about to stick his tongue in your mouth until he heard the garage door open. You both lunged away from each other at the loud sound, desperate to catch your breaths.
You bit your lip at the state of the man in front of you, his cheeks were dusted pink, lips swollen and letting out soft pants as his chest desperately rose up and down. Beautiful, you thought.
“Oh fuck, it’s your father.” Haruchiyo’s lust-filled eyes widened, reaching for his pocket and quickly slipping his mask on, you both desperately tried to fix yourselves up before exiting the vehicle and pretending like you two weren’t just sucking the life out of each other a few seconds ago.
Your father greeted the both of you before hopping into his own car with his personal driver. You headed for the door that led inside the estate while Haruchiyo headed for his motorcycle, you both looked back at each other and gave shy smiles before parting ways.
Later that night, you had asked Haruchiyo to meet up and discuss this whole situation and he was grateful for this as he didn’t really know where he stood at that moment, plus, there were hundreds of questions running through his mind.
Yes he was ecstatic about the mutuality of both your feelings, but this was the real world, you were both adults that led very different lives and he knew this wasn’t going to be easy for the both of you… if you two agree to go down the path of establishing a relationship.
You snuck out from your room, heart drumming against your chest as it was your first time doing this. You’ve never snuck out and barely disobeyed your parents so this was clearly an uncommon ground for you and the thought of being caught sneaking out scared you, especially if you were caught by your father.
Haruchiyo waited in front of the garage, sitting under the starry night sky as he leaned on his motorcycle. A small smile crept up your lips as you spotted him and as if on cue, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.
He didn’t sport his usual white button up and slacks, instead opting for dark denim pants, black turtleneck, and a leather jacket to top it off; he also wore his hair down which sat past his shoulders.
“You look nice.” you tilted your head up to him, eyes twinkling like the stars in the dark sky.
The corner of his lips twitched up, he muttered a shy ‘thanks’ before handing you a helmet. You placed the black helmet over your head as Haruchiyo hopped on his motorcycle and turned it on, you followed suit, struggling to get on due to being shorter but nonetheless managed to, with the help of the older man.
“Hold on tight. Don’t let go.” Haruchiyo reached behind him and took both of your arms, encircling them around his waist. You nodded, although you knew he couldn’t see you.
As Haruchiyo revved the engine of his motorcycle, your arms tightened around his waist, interlocking your hands that rested on his stomach and leaned your encased head against his back.
He couldn’t help but smirk at your behaviour.
With that, the both of you speed into the darkness of the night, the stars dwelling upon you both. Twinkling like they were happy for you two and your newfound love for each other.
The cold air hit you as Haru manoeuvred his way to your destination, it felt nice riding the motorcycle. You were hesitant at first but managed to relax since Haruchiyo was with you, you felt the safest when you were with him.
It didn’t take too long before the two of you reached the all too familiar destination.
The Park.
The both of you sat sideways on his motorcycle, shoulders touching one another while basking in comfortable silence. “...Why me?” Haruchiyo broke the silence, genuine curiosity laced within his question.
“I mean, you practically have guys begging to be with you. All those expensive gifts, their money, their status… and I’m just… me. A lowly individual who definitely doesn’t make half as much as you do.”
Haruchiyo was genuinely confused as to why you even fell in love with him. It didn’t make sense. He’s done so many wrong things in his life, he wasn’t even making that much money and probably couldn’t provide even if he wanted to and he definitely didn’t even match up to your suitors.
They were wealthy and he was… just normal.
“You’re young and you have a great life ahead of you, so why choose someone like me? Why not go for someone near your age?” He continued.
You chuckled, “That’s the thing. I fell in love with you because you’re you.”
“I don’t care if they’re wealthy and bought me expensive gifts. Those don’t mean anything to me, and you of all people should know that by now. But you, on the other hand… you’re different. Yes, you might claim to have nothing and that’s okay with me, because all I’m after is your love and attention that you did not fail to give me every single time.”
“They could never buy my love with expensive gifts, but you were able to buy my love with attention because that’s all I’ve ever wanted, Haru.” you leaned your head on his shoulder, a sad smile forming on your lips.
Yes, Haruchiyo did not have the wealth to offer you like your suitors had but he offered you something greater, something you’ve been asking for your whole life and that was undivided attention.
He was attentive and listened to you like you were the most interesting person in the whole world–which in fact, he did think you are–, he has been nothing but sweet to you and you couldn’t help but fall in love with all that.
You couldn’t help but fall in love with a man who had no wealth to offer you.
And that was more than okay.
“Also, I don’t care if you’re older than me, it doesn’t matter. All my suitors were merely boys, I’m after a man who knows how to treat me well.”
Haruchiyo couldn’t help but laugh at your sentence, he reached for one of your cold hands and started rubbing them in between his own, tracing unfamiliar shapes on your palm, he leaned his cheek on top of your head and let out a sigh. “I really want to kiss you right now…”
You removed your head from his shoulder which made him look down at you, you met his gaze, “What’s holding you back, Haru? Kiss me.”
You’ll be the fucking death of him.
Haruchiyo obeyed and leaned down to close the gap between the two of you, both your lips cold from the winter air. His kisses were different this time, way different. Haruchiyo kissed with desperation, both his palms cupping your frozen cheeks as he desperately tried to get closer to you.
He didn’t hesitate to stick his tongue past your lips, to which you moaned at the foreign feeling. Everything felt so good, the way his tongue moved against your own, the way he tasted, and the way he firmly held you against his lips.
Haruchiyo trailed hot kisses along your jawline, making you shiver from the contrast of the cold temperature.
“Fuck… this is so unprofessional.” he whispered against the hot skin of your neck before lightly sucking on it. “I don’t— mhm! I don’t see you stopping though…” you angled your head up at the starry sky to give him more access to your neck, your hands making their way to his rosy pink hair and tugging at them.
Haruchiyo let out a low growl, chills running down his spine as you pulled at his hair, “Hmm? You seem to be enjoying yourself.” he chuckled as he gave your neck a peck before pulling away and looking at your flustered state.
Your lips were swollen and soft pants slipped past them as you stared at him with a clouded gaze. He’s barely even touched you and you’re already a mess.
“But… What about your father?” he suddenly looked concerned. The look in his eyes changing from lust to anxiety, he bit his lip at the thought of your father’s wrath. He wasn’t afraid of what your father would do to him, rather he was afraid of what would happen to you.
You were scared.
You knew your father never liked Haruchiyo, not even a single ounce of him but he tolerated Haru for your sake. He hired him for your sake. You were definitely scared of your father finding out about the two of you, there were a lot of reasons to be.
The first one being Haruchiyo not fitting into his standards. You two led very different lives and you could already hear the other companies and media gossiping about you and how you fell in love with your chauffeur who was an ex-delinquent.
You could see your father doing everything he could to make sure you’d have no contact with Haruchiyo.
You shook your head and buried your face in his chest, inhaling his scent, it helped calm you down a bit. “I-i don’t know, Haru… I’m scared but all I know is that I want to be with you.” he placed a hand behind your head and stroked your hair, reassuring you that he’ll be by your side no matter what happened.
But deep down, he was scared shitless. Not because of your father but because he knew that the universe could easily take you away from his grasp and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, because that was life. Life was cruel and harsh, and he didn’t always get what he wanted, no matter how much he prayed to the stars above him.
This time, he wished the universe would listen to him just this once. He could be stripped away of everything for all he cared for but he wouldn’t know what to do if it was you who was taken away from him.
It pained his chest just thinking about it.
A few weeks have passed since establishing your relationship with Haruchiyo, in secret of course.
You two had gotten closer to each other and spent more time together in the evening–away from everyone’s prying eyes–after he picked you up from work, and you always looked forward to them because he truly made you forget about every single thing that stressed you out.
There would be times where you two would steal shy glances at each other whenever someone else was around, slightly brushing your hands with one another as you walked past him in the garage.
But there would also be times where no one was around and the two of you freely held one another, shy glances turned into make out sessions and the slight brush of your hands turned into firmly holding one another.
You also spent more time in the back area of the estate where most of the house workers would be.
You knew Haruchiyo hung around a lot there while waiting for you to go and thankfully all the other workers didn’t bat an eye at your sudden frequent appearance there.
Although, one thing that has gotten you on the edge was the now strained relationship with your father. You’d argued with your parents for days on end about the whole marriage idea and finding a suitor, you told them that it was simply too early to be getting married and that you wanted to focus on your career.
Of course, this was mostly true but you didn’t want to meet other suitors because you wanted to focus on your career but because you’ve already found someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Your father didn’t take the argument too well which resulted in a strained relationship with him. You now felt like you were walking on eggshells when trying to converse with him.
You’ve also discussed countless times with Haruchiyo about the idea of introducing him as your boyfriend to your father, he wasn’t scared about the confrontation but he knew that it wouldn’t go well.
There was a small ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe that your father would actually be on board with your relationship. He wasn’t a cruel man, no, but he had his morals straight and did not hesitate to let anyone know.
But, this was merely just hope you were holding on to and you have yet to test it.
“You look absolutely stunning, by the way.” your boyfriend stole a glance at you from the rearview mirror, his aquamarine eyes twinkling in the dark vehicle.
You were on your way to the venue of the annual winter company party for all employers that worked under your family and the company, and that included Haruchiyo. “I could say the same about you.” you giggled. 
It was your first time seeing Haruchiyo sport a low bun but you weren’t complaining; he wore a 3-piece suit–provided by you–which he looked sexy in.
The way the vest hugged his thin waist did unexplainable things to you. Although, the highlight of it was you managed to convince him to leave the mask at home and when he had asked you ‘why’, you simply replied something along the lines of not being able to freely kiss him.
“I want you to walk in with me.” you said as Haruchiyo took the keys from the car and pocketed it, he looked back at you and smiled, nodding. His nerves were getting to him and he didn’t know why, it was just a party, that’s all.
It took all his will power to not wrap his arm around your waist to let all the other men in the room that you were his as you two walked inside.
As expected, it was grand.
Waiters were everywhere serving wine and fancy little appetizers that he probably couldn’t pronounce the name of; it was already filled with familiar faces dressed in fancy attires, many who stood around several cocktail tables and chatting with one another.
As if sensing Haruchiyo’s nervousness, you reached for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before dropping it, he wished you held it a little longer, he was already missing the warmth of your hand.
Your father spotted you and made his way towards the two of you, completely oblivious to the fact that you just held your chauffeur’s hand mere seconds ago. “Sanzu, so glad you could make it.” your father nodded in appreciation at the pink haired man, sternly smiling at him before dropping his gaze down to his uncovered lips.
Haruchiyo froze at this, he didn’t know what to do. The anxious feeling that he’s been pushing down now came surging up, spreading throughout his body, he felt so small and vulnerable, and he absolutely hated it.
You noticed your father’s gaze, annoyance rising as you mentally cursed to yourself. You shifted closer to your boyfriend, letting your arms touch, this made Haruchiyo a bit calmer and appreciated how you always looked out for him.
Before your father could say anything about Haruchiyo, you pulled him away, asking about tonight’s event. You quickly looked back at your boyfriend who was still standing there and mouthed an apologetic ‘I’m sorry’ as you led your father elsewhere.
Haruchiyo shook his head, indicating that it was okay, before pointing to the bar and heading for its direction. Maybe he’ll get a glass of water to clear his mind
With that, you and Haruchiyo barely saw each other as the night progressed. Apparently our father had invited some of the company’s business partners and introduced them to you, it was just never ending introductions all night and you wanted to be beside Haruchiyo.
You wanted to know how he was doing for the period of time you’d been gone from his side.
You finally got a breather from all the introductions and darted your eyes around the venue, there were a lot of people but you knew you could easily spot Haruchiyo by his pink hair, you craned your neck around to look out for his vibrant hair but you couldn’t see him anywhere.
“Looking for someone?” a voice asked behind you.
You let out a sigh and turned around, “Haru, I’ve been looking for you everywhe—” your sentence was cut short due to the fact that it was not Haruchiyo. “H-heizo… hey, um, nice to see you.” you gave him an uncomfortable smile and tried looking behind him for signs of your boyfriend.
The man in front of you began speaking about topics you couldn’t care less about. You only wanted Haruchiyo. You distractedly scanned your eyes around the venue once again, absentmindedly nodding at whatever he was saying before spotting a familiar head of pink hair, he was headed for the doors.
“H-hey, I’ll talk to you later. ‘Kay?” you gave Heizo a small wave and didn’t wait for his response before hastily making your way to Haruchiyo, who just now slipped past the entrance of the venue and was headed outside.
Little did you know, your hasty movements caught your father’s attention, you were headed outside which piqued his curiosity.
Haruchiyo was leaning against the side of the building, you spotted him as soon as you stepped outside, the cool winter air kissing your exposed skin which made you shiver a bit.
“Haru, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” you took a couple of steps and stopped towards the older man, effectively trapping him against the wall. No matter how much Haruchiyo decided to hide his emotions, you knew his eyes never lied. There was something bothering him, the way his aquamarine gaze avoided yours was a give away.
You frowned at his behaviour. “Baby… talk to me.” you tilted your head and cupped his cheeks, “Did anyone say anything to you?” he brought his warm hands over yours and leaned into your touch, eyes closing as it calmed his mind.
“I just— after your father gave me that stare earlier, I couldn’t help but become more insecure and I just felt like all eyes were on me whenever I walked around there.” Haruchiyo sighed and finally met your worried gaze. Your eyes softened at his expression and you gently ran both your thumbs on either corner of his lips.
Your thumbs traced the raised skin on his cheeks, softly stroking them as if it was the most fragile thing in the world, “I’m so sorry.” you whispered and leaned closer to him, giving his scars a kiss.
Your lips lingered on either side of his mouth, handling them with utmost care. Haruchiyo’s chest warmed at your action and leaned his forehead against yours, once again closing his eyes at the intimacy.
“I love you so much. I don’t think I can ever let you go.” he whispered.
You were about to close the gap between your lips until you felt a harsh grip on your wrist, suddenly pulling you away from Haruchiyo. His eyes shot open as he was met with emptiness in front of him, he looked around to see you standing next to your father, his hand firmly on your wrist. Your expression mirrored his, shocked, scared, and confused.
“Stay the fuck away from my daughter!” your father pointed a harsh finger at him, his face contorted with pure anger.
Haruchiyo began to explain the whole situation while taking a step towards you but your father had cut him off and stood in between, effectively blocking his view of you.
Your desperate attempts to calm your father down and telling him not to make such a scene were ignored, you balled your fists as you felt tears welling up in your eyes.
Your boyfriend noticed your distress and wanted to comfort you badly but like everything else in his life, all he could do was stand there and watch you cry.
“I’m taking you home.” your father glanced back at you before pulling you in the other direction, stumbling upon your heels as tears clouded your eyes. Haruchiyo stood there frozen on his spot, fists clenched by his side as the darkness engulfed your figure.
Just like that, he knew his prayers weren’t answered. He knew that the countless nights he prayed under the stars to have you did absolutely nothing.
Yes, the universe was cruel but why didn’t the stars align for you two? Why did he always have to lose something precious? He was already empty from the beginning but losing you gave him a whole new meaning of emptiness.
That night, you layed in bed staring up at the ceiling, tears still rolling down from your eyes. You haven’t stopped crying since the incident and it also didn’t help that your father argued with you all the way back home, he was the one who drove your car back, not Haruchiyo.
You told him about your relationship with Haruchiyo, to which he simply replied along the lines of ending your relationship with him.
You replayed every single harsh word that came out of his mouth about your boyfriend, it broke your heart thinking that there are some people out there that view Haruchiyo in this light. He didn’t deserve that.
“Out of all the guys you could’ve picked, you picked him?! Some scum from the streets? He has a criminal record for fucksakes! I’ve already been lenient enough when you asked me to hire him as your personal driver but this… I can’t let this slide. Having a relationship with your chauffeur? Absolutely outrageous!”
He told you that you were also getting a new chauffeur and forced you to delete and block all your connections with Haruchiyo which broke your heart even more. There was definitely no getting back from this and you feared you would never see him again. You just wanted to see him.
A small whimper escaped your lips, you felt helpless, you wanted to scream out your lungs but didn’t have the energy to, you just wanted Haruchiyo. Your chest ached and your throat tightened as you cried into your pillow, hands tightly gripping the sheets that engulfed your numb body.
You heard the familiar rev of Haruchiyo’s motorcycle, it was faint but distinguishable. He was here? You figured he was there to grab his motorcycle and head home for the night, your heart raced at the thought of him being so close yet so far. You were about to get off your bed and head for the garage until the roaring of his motorcycle faded into the darkness, he was gone.
If you want to see him, you can. A voice replied in your head.
You blinked your tears away and shot up from your bed, your mind running through the endless possibilities of seeing him. You didn’t know where he lived but you could easily obtain that information from the electronic copy of his job application that he had previously sent. 
Quickly reaching for your phone, you tapped through the ‘files’ application and pulled up the file you needed.
Bingo.
You entered the taxi you called for and never looked back, not fearing for anyone catching you leaving at this hour as your father had returned to the party and most staff were there as well. You didn’t care if you were in your pyjamas, all you cared about was that you were going to see Haruchiyo.
After paying and bidding the taxi driver a thank you, you made your way to his house, double checking the number stated on your phone with the one plastered on the door. You knew he was home because his motorcycle was parked near the front door.
You lifted a hand and gently knocked on it.
Footsteps on the other side of the door could be heard walking closer until it came to a halt. It took a few seconds before you could hear the fumbling of locks, like they already knew who was on the other side of the door.
The door burst open and revealed a dishevelled Haruchiyo, his rosy pink hair was a mess and his eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying.
You caught a distinct whiff of something else that made you scrunch your nose but you weren’t that naïve to not know what it was. There was definitely another reason why his eyes were red.
Haruchiyo laughed to himself, resting a palm over his eyes like he was going crazy, “Fuuuck, I’m so high that I’m even hallucinating right now.” he chuckled to himself, slurring the words that came out of his mouth.
You noticed the rolled joint rested between his fingers of his other hand and let out a heavy sigh.
You remember him telling you that he would occasionally smoke weed to ease the pain he felt but he reassured you that he hasn’t done it for a few months now. It pained you that you were partially the reason for his behaviour.
You wasted no time to wrap your arms around him, tightly hugging him and never wanting to let go. You reassured him that it was in fact not a hallucination and that you were really there with him. Haruchiyo did not believe you until he ran a slender hand down your back, stroking your hair.
The older man began sobbing uncontrollably that you were actually right in front of him and mumbled sentences along the lines of how he missed you so bad and how empty he felt for the past few hours.
You made your way inside and shut the door behind you, still not letting go of him, “It’s okay, I’m here now. I’ll never leave you.” you sniffled as you buried your face in his chest.
Haruchiyo pulled you both into the couch, his hands firmly situated on your hips as he pulled you onto his lap. He had a lot of questions running through his mind but he was too high to even think about it, all that mattered was that you were there with him.
You circled your arms around his neck and shifted on his lap, trying to find a comfortable spot, “Fuck, don’t do that princess.” Haruchiyo groaned, stilling your hips as he threw his head against the backrest and took a long drag before puffing his lungs out, thick smoke dancing past his lips and evaporating into thin air.
You keenly looked at him, eyes focused on the joint between his fingers.
He noticed your gaze and jutted the joint towards you, a brow lifting in suggestion. You met his clouded stare, eyes droopy and red from intoxication before dropping back down to the joint which emitted wisps of white smoke.
Without any hesitation, you took it from his hand and rested it between your puckered lips, taking a long drag like what Haruchiyo did. It immediately burned your lungs and throat, you couldn’t properly puff out the smoke as you coughed uncontrollably at the foreign sensation in your chest and tears began forming in your eyes.
Haruchiyo stroked your back and slightly chuckled at you, “You took it like a champ.”
He grabbed your hand that held the joint and pulled it closer to his lips before slowly inhaling, his pretty eyes never leaving yours the whole time he did this, and before he exhaled, he placed a hand on your nape and pulled you closer to him. Haruchiyo puffed out smoke past your lips as he gave you open mouthed kisses.
Everything felt so good and light. Your senses were becoming clouded as Haruchiyo did more rounds of blowing smoke into your mouth, you felt light headed, your sense of touch was heightened and you felt horny.
You suddenly felt everything. With the way his warm hands enveloped your neck to the way his lap felt against your thighs.
With intoxication clouding your senses, you didn’t hesitate to swing your leg over his lap and straddle Haruchiyo, to which he merely responded by holding either side of your hips, smirking.
“Haruuu, I want you so bad.” you leaned into his neck, sucking a spot which made him groan.
You started grinding your hips against his as you felt something tingling down there, begging for some kind of friction. Haruchiyo guided your hips against his hard clothed cock, shamelessly moaning at the sensation. Everything felt so good that even as little as grinding against you could get him over the edge.
“Fuck, princess, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into…” he whined as he rested the back of his head against the backrest of the couch, moving your hips back and forth.
You needed more.
You wanted to be closer to Haruchiyo and without thinking, your hands trailed down his chest and into his joggers but before your hands could venture any further, Haruchiyo caught your wrist, “I want to taste you.” he whispered, and kissed your hand.
The two of you messily made your way to his bedroom, lips moulding together and hands tangled with one another.
Haruchiyo softly pushed you onto the soft bed, you made yourself comfortable by scooting up to his pillows before laying down, the room was spinning and your head was pounding but you didn’t care.
He followed suit, crawling up to you and began marking your neck, his large hands making its way inside your pyjama top and grabbing your breast.
“No bra? How naughty…” he chuckled against your neck.
You could only whine at this as he roughly massaged your breasts. You didn’t even know your top was gone until Haruchiyo wasted no time sucking, licking and biting them, giving it all the attention it deserved.
“Haru, please. I just want you.” you grew impatient at his ministrations, he thought you were cute because you clearly had no idea what he was about to give you.
“And you’ll have me… you’ll just have to be a good girl for me first. I want to taste all of you.” he trailed a hand down past your stomach and into your pants. You immediately threw your head back as he circled your clit through your panties, groaning out his name as you tried to close your legs.
“Hmm, so responsive.” Haruchiyo smirked at the state of you as he pried your legs apart.
He wasted no time taking the last pieces of clothing off your body, pulling both your pants and panties down your legs.
Warmth spread up to your cheeks as you were exposed to Haruchiyo, it was your first time doing this and no one had ever seen the entirety of your body.
You closed your legs, suddenly feeling shy as he didn’t bother to hide the stare directed at your wet pussy, “Don’t hide from me now… you wanted this, remember?” he grabbed both of your knees and parted your legs, trailing soft kisses on your inner thigh.
Haruchiyo breathed in your scent as he got closer to your sex. He took experimental licks at your folds and observing your reaction to them, your face was contorted in pleasure and your head was thrown back against his pillows. He took this as an indication to keep going, and he did.
He pressed his mouth against your clit and started sucking like his life depended on it, this earned a loud moan of his name from you which urged Haruchiyo even more.
He slipped his tongue past your folds and explored the warmness of you, you tasted so fucking sweet and he couldn’t get enough of you. He alternated between giving your clit stiff licks and sucking on it which made your hands fly down to his rosy pink tresses and before you knew it, Haruchiyo had brought you to your first orgasm.
You felt a sharp sensation run up your spine as Haruchiyo brought you over the edge, lapping up every single bit of your cum, your vision became white for a second and you swore you saw stars.
Your chest heaved at the intense sensation but you couldn’t help look down at him, he had your cum running down his chin, messy rosy pink hair and heavy lidded eyes.
“I’m not done with you yet, I’m just getting started.”
By the time he brought you to your second orgasm using his fingers, you were already sensitive but you knew what was coming next and you’ve been anticipating this ever since you started grinding on his clothed cock.
Although, you were a bit afraid of his length even though you haven’t seen it, but you’ve surely felt it. Two slender fingers were already too much for you, so you didn’t know what to expect of his cock.
Haruchiyo finally took off all articles of clothing that hid his pretty body, you gaped at his torso, he was definitely on the skinnier side but was well-built. He reached for his joggers and pulled them down along with his brief, he sighed at the sensation that his cock wasn’t being restrained by anything.
Fuck, he was long.
You stared at his stiff cock in all its glory, it wasn’t that thick but his length definitely made up for it. The tip had a pretty shade of pink, just like his lips and was already leaking of precum.
He gave his cock a few strokes before grabbing a condom from the night stand and rolling it down his length, he got on the bed and crawled closer to you.
Haruchiyo sat on his knees and rubbed the tip of his dick at your entrance which earned a whine from you, he got on top of you and started kissing your lips, distracting as he was slowly slipping his dick inside.
“Haru, fuck!” your hands flew to his biceps, gripping them as he pushed further inside, “Are you okay? Did I hurt you anywhere?” his head shot up, concern filling his eyes as he met your glassy gaze, you hastily shook your head and urged him to continue.
With that, Haruchiyo continued pushing in, “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight for me…” he buried his face against your neck, goosebumps arising from his hot pants. You felt an uncomfortable stretch as he continued to push his cock inside your tight heat but at the same time, it felt good. So good.
As he bottomed out, Haruchiyo had to take a breather, you were hugging him so tight that if he moved even the slightest bit, he would come right then and there. He pulled out just a bit and squeezed the base of his cock until the urge to cum just dissipated.
“Please move.” you whined and brought a hand up to his cheek, stroking his scar.
Haruchiyo obeyed and didn’t waste any time before slowly moving in and out of you which caused you to moan loudly and throw your head back against his pillows, your exposed neck gave him the liberty to paint it with even more bruises.
He started to pick up his pace, his balls slapping against your ass and loud squelching sounds could be heard throughout the room.
“F-fuck! You’re so good for me, huh? No wonder why you chose me over them—ngh! You like a man who can give you good dick?” he panted against your ears, sucking and nibbling on them as his thrusts didn’t falter.
You could only moan at his words and claw his back due to the unfamiliar sensation engulfing your body but Haruchiyo wasn’t satisfied with this. “Answer me.” he whispered before biting the side of your neck, harshly.
“A-ah, fuck! Yes! That’s you Haru.” you yelped.
You didn’t even know your eyes were closed until he pulled out of you and was about to whine in protest at his sudden movement, “Wha—” “Face down, ass up for me, pretty girl.” You sat up and turned to face the mattress, bringing your torso down and leaving your ass exposed.
Haruchiyo briefly massaged your ass before pushing back into your cunt and bottoming out all in one go. You balled your fists against his sheets and let out a loud moan, this position was even better, you never knew he could reach inside this deep.
He started moving again, hips loudly slapping against your ass as he matched the thrusts he had previously given you, your moans were definitely a pitch higher and all kinds of sounds spilled from your lips uncontrollably.
You were suddenly roughly grabbed by the back of your neck, resulting in your back pressing against Haruchiyo’s broad chest. Both his palms massaged each of your breasts as he fucked up into you, causing you to throw your head back at his shoulder.
“You’re always so good for me… so pretty.” he whispered, his voice strained indicating that he was close.
“Mm! Only for you Haru—ah!” you reached down and started rubbing fast and tight circles on your clit, wanting to cum with him.
The coil inside you snapped and you started cumming around his cock, fisting your hands against his mattress as the familiar intense sensation runs up your spine. You loudly moaned his name, back arching as the pleasure became too intense.
At the same time, Haruchiyo roughly pushed your face back into the mattress, his thrusts becoming even rougher as he neared his climax.
All it took for him was your clenching walls and he threw his head back in pure bliss, mouth parted as loud shameless moans slipped out, grinding his hips against your ass which pushed his dick even further inside as he helped you ride out your orgasm.
A chain of profanities rolled from his tongue as he shallowly thrusted inside you, milking every last drop of his cum.
The two of you were both spent and sweaty, and how Haruchiyo managed to clean you up was beyond your comprehension. The last thing you saw were his aquamarine eyes and long lashes holding your gaze before sleep took over you, you swore you heard him say ‘I love you’.
The morning came rolling around and your eyes fluttered open, the first thing you saw was Haruchiyo’s peaceful state. He looked so pretty and effortlessly beautiful with the way his long lashes brushed against his cheeks.
You definitely had a keen eye for pretty things.
He looked soft, definitely a complete contrast from his persona last night.
You could get used to waking up to his pretty face every single morning because even though Haruchiyo didn't have anything materialistic to offer you, unlike everyone else, he only had one thing he could truly afford, the one you've been chasing your whole life.
Undivided attention.
Haruchiyo may have not noticed it but his love and attention may have been the most expensive gift you've ever received.
And you knew you’d fight for his love, no matter what it took because you were tired of hiding him from the world.
You wanted to scream your lungs out on a rooftop that you were in love with Haruchiyo Sanzu, the man who offered you nothing and everything at the same time.
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wowie, thanks for making it to the very end!
© mitsuyeaah
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seichira · 1 year
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wild enough for you.
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you grow insecure with the kind of normal that sanzu haruchiyo enjoys, and you worry that he has been keeping you in the dark because you aren’t crazy enough to keep up.
pairing : kmg!sanzu x reader
content : angsty but also fluffy. encounters and mentions of usual gang and criminal activity. jealousy with comfort. suggestive. drunk reader, and sanzu taking care of you.
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you should have known that you could never keep up with the very active life that your boyfriend leads.
what normal person ends up wounded and bruised on an alleyway late in the night, only to be found by an unfortunate student passing by who is forced to take the person in question home to tend to them?
that is exactly have you met him. you being the unknowing student and him being the wounded man who would’ve died if it weren’t for your golden heart.
do you not see how you should have taken the hint from the very beginning?
but no, you closed your eyes to the sketchy shit that sanzu did because at first, you were too enthralled with how pretty his eyes looked, how enviable his hair was, and how beautiful he was in spite the scars.
after moving past the undeniable physical attraction, you fall in love with him deeply for all the times he visited you, ate home-cooked dinner with you, complainingly accompanied you while you studied, and all the days you just spent together like normal couples where no gang activity is involved.
however, this translates to the fact that sanzu is the one adjusting to your life. the life you share with him is simply just your life, not his. a normal life that involves only going to school in the morning and rushing straight home at the end of the day, with a few hangouts with friends here and there.
with that being said, this doesn’t apply both ways. it’s not that you do not want to get involved with your beloved’s life that he leads on the other side of the spectrum, it’s that he wouldn’t let you.
let’s be clear. sanzu doesn’t keep it a secret.
you know well that you are in a relationship with a delinquent, and you know how that term is a dire understatement of who he really is. he tells you that he is in a gang with other powerful people he has known since he was a kid. you know that he owns a katana that doesn’t need an explanation for what he uses it for, the blood stains on his uniform and his shirts are enough to tell you.
you love him too much to care about all that, to want to count how many people he has hurt, to keep tabs on the crimes he has committed. his loving kisses are enough to make up for all the things he rather keep to himself to protect you.
but sometimes, you wish he tells you more.
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“anyway, ran haitani came up to our table and offered me a drink! and he was all over me! you have no idea how hot it was, his huge hand squeezing my thighs! the jealous looks of everyone!”
you and your friend exchanged knowing looks at the mention of a familiar name from a loud conversation happening at the adjacent table.
it’s not quite the relaxed evening you expected at this chill bar you entered to refresh with your classmate from university on a friday night, but you shrug it off and let them talk about hot men all they want.
it is only at the mention of haitani’s name that you start really listening. you realize they are talking about hot men specifically from kantou manji gang.
your boyfriend’s gang.
“was sanzu haruchiyo there?” you hear a woman ask, and you sit straight up to listen intently. “he’s the hottest of them all. i would take him over everyone else in his gang on any goddamn day!”
while you agree, there is a churning feeling in your stomach that grows larger at every agreement that follows that statement. it forms a green monster of jealousy and insecurity knowing how known your boyfriend really is, and how many wants him.
“i know, right? have you seen him in that white freakin’ uniform? he’s exactly the type of guy that my dad would be horrified of if i ever dated him, but that’s the charm in him!”
“but isn’t he in a relationship? that’s why among all of them, he doesn’t approach women at all?”
“who cares? you think a man like him would ever want to settle with just one woman? dream on. he’s gonna want all the women in the world!”
“that makes sense. a crazy man like him on the loose isn’t gonna want a leash on his neck. what he needs is an equally wild woman for an adventure!”
you bite your lip and sink deeper in the cushioned couch you’re sitting on, while your friend shoots you an apologetic and comforting smile.
they have no idea that you share a bed with sanzu haruchiyo. they do not know that he comes home to you every night, asking you to clean his wounds for him. they aren’t aware of all the times you cuddle the man in question to sleep, and play with his hair.
they do not know that sanzu will die for you because he is deeply in love with you, and only you.
and in this moment, you forget that too.
as much as you trust your haruchiyo, it kills you to think that they’re probably right.
your boyfriend is all too full of life and vigor, much too exciting to be settling with your boring life. he doesn’t deserve to make himself small and contain himself in your routines. he deserves to live.
you wish you are strong enough to let him go, but still, you do not want to. you love him, and it would kill you to have to set him free.
if you can’t set him free to live the life he was born to live, the least you could do is… be wild enough.
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for the rest of the night, you drown yourself in alcohol until you reach past the state of being in the right mind. you are far from sober, and your friend has no idea what to do with you.
so she grabs your phone and gives your boyfriend a quick call. her hands are trembling at the fact that she is talking to a man as dangerous as he is, but you are absolutely out of control and sanzu is the only one who knows how to deal with you.
“y/n, please! you can’t go there!” your friend pleads with you as she pulls you away from the rowdy part of the bar where the dance floor is.
it is full of creeps and people who want to get laid, and you are definitely not available for all that. but that’s part of getting wild, right?
fuck midterms! fuck your due essays! fuck university! tonight, you will be wild enough to keep up with your boyfriend, and then maybe he’ll wanna stay with you!
“it’s going to be fine!” you slur your words drunkenly, matching with the wiggling of your feet as you squeeze yourself in the ocean of people and dance with whoever stands next to you.
your friend loses sight of you, and you gain more freedom to just dance to the rhythm of the booming music. you do not care whose body you’re touching or whose drink you just accepted. you just let loose.
you have never done this before, and as much as you respect anyone who parties like this since it’s their life and they can do anything with it, it doesn’t feel like yourself. but then again, you are on a mission.
“fucking hell!”
suddenly, a strong grip wraps around your wrist and you are being forcefully dragged away from the dance floor. you giggle in your drunken state when you see your boyfriend’s back, who is currently seething with rage as he pulls you outside of the bar.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” he shouts as soon as he gets you alone. “you’re gettin’ fucking drunk now, huh? dancing with other men?! you know how i could’ve snapped their necks!?”
you giggle adorably and you place your palms on his chest flirtatiously. you can’t help it when he’s in his white kantou manji uniform, and with his beautiful hair tied up in a ponytail like this.
“l-like it, hmm? wild e-enough… for you, baby?”
he doesn’t understand what the hell you’re saying but he does know that you are too drunk to keep yourself upright. he erupts in another string of continuous curses and he scoops you in his arms, to settle you inside his car, and take you home.
“h-haru… y’like me like this? wild? hmm?” you continue asking him over and over again until you get home. he still doesn’t understand, and his eyebrows almost meeting is enough clue of that.
he almost throws you on the huge couch as soon as you arrive, but he cares for you too much to ignore you so he wets a cloth to clean you with it.
sanzu haruchiyo is angry. this is the angriest you have ever seen him, but he continues wiping your body with the cloth, and it kind of sobers you up.
“i have no idea what you’re fucking thinking. first, you fail to tell me that you’ll be drinking in a bar with a friend and i would like to know that so i wouldn’t be taken by surprise like this! and then you get absolutely wasted? and dance with men! for what?!”
he is seething, and you want to start by saying sorry. but instead, you run to the bathroom to vomit out all the alcohol you downed earlier. despite his anger, he follows you to the toilet and he runs his hand up and down your back to caress it.
“there, there, it’s going to feel better now,” he comforts you, but you know his disappointment for tonight is still there.
sanzu flushes the toilet and pulls you up, guides you to the sink, and helps you wash your mouth while holding your hair for you.
you burst into tears at how gentle he handles you despite the fury going on in his system. you feel like shit, and you are both sorry and insecure.
finally, you face your angry boyfriend. he closes the distance between you until your back meets the sink and he cages you between his arms.
“explain.”
he is melting at the sight of your tears but he is dying to hear your explanations. he wants to know that you love him still, and that you don’t want other men. he needs to know that you’re not doing this because you want to break up with him. he needs you to let him know that you love him… because he loves you.
“i-i’m sorry, haru,” you manage to say in between your sobs. “i didn’t know what to do. i was scared.”
“scared? scared of what?” he asks, because how could you be scared of anything when you have a boyfriend who is head over heels for you who can just annihilate all the things that you hate?
“of losing you!”
“how could you ever lose me, huh, baby doll?” his tone softens, because at long last, he finally knows that you are afraid to lose him just like he is afraid of losing you. “that still doesn’t explain why you’d get yourself drunk like that. doesn’t make sense to me.”
“because… you keep so many secrets from me. m-makes me think i’m not worthy enough to know what you’re doing because… i’m not wild or crazy enough!”
is that what this is? sanzu hates invalidating your feelings, but shit. that explanation is fucking nuts.
“baby, i don’t keep secrets. i tell you about my day. but there are things i’d rather not let you know because… it’ll keep you safer that way.”
“so, it’s not because… i’m boring?”
he cups your face with his hands, “you entertain me just fine, baby. what the fuck is this about not being wild enough, huh? who told you you need to change anything for me? i don’t fucking care for all that.”
“it’s just that, i heard women talk about you. a while ago. they said people like you won’t want to settle down or something… ‘cuz it’ll bore you…”
“you can tie me down right now and get me fuckin’ married and i won’t complain for shit, baby. all i want is to be with you. they clearly do not know me.”
you stop sobbing but hiccups linger, making sanzu grin at how adorable you look like this. he wipes your tears away with his thumbs and he sighs loudly.
“and here i was getting worried you just wanted to dance with other men ‘cause you finally realized i wasn’t good enough for ‘ya.”
your eyes widen in surprise. “no way! that will never happen! i love you so much! how could you think that?!”
“but that’s exactly what you’re doing to me…”
his voice calms you down and you realize that he is right. “i know… i’m sorry, haru. i know you love me.”
he nods and kisses the tip of your nose. “only you. you don’t have to change anything for me. don’t have to be crazy. i can be crazy for the both of us, baby.”
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